In 1x06, when Cynthia runs off while getting ready, Lydia finds her. Not many words are exchanged. But the words we heard from their exercises have a far different meaning this time. When Lydia states your hair is brown, it’s just a fact until Cynthia gives in. Once she does, she says again her hair is brown and that’s when it becomes something else. Cynthia’s guard is down. Lydia knows what Cynthia knows, and she’s scared. She finally admits she’s scared and they both know it’s not about the play. But then, Cynthia realizes she’s not alone. Lydia says nothing but Cynthia just looks at her and recognizes, “you’re scared.” She hadn’t been sure if “rehearsing” had been to Lydia what it had been to her until now, now she knows it did. They get closer, just repeating “i’m scared/you’re scared” until Lydia looks at Cynthia, “Your hair is brown” and this final call and response is not a merely a statement and fact, it’s a confession. An acknowledgment of three truths; Cynthia’s hair is brown, they are both scared, and this is real. Cynthia repeats it back, whispers like a secret that Lydia is the only one allowed to know.
And then they kiss. Their first kiss. A real kiss that can’t be hidden behind characters or script. And for one second after, they can be happy. They giggle and cherish each others space, and then it hits.
That was real.
Cynthia can’t lie to herself anymore, she’s exposed. She knows the truth, and worse, so does Lydia. And as they both know, Cynthia is scared. So she runs.
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When you finally saw it comin'
Passed you by and left your soul defeated
Putting Afonya and Gale in different AUs is my passion now
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