#of course i dont want to die

[hilsonisthecure]

about to watch the car scene cus I'm just soooooo insane like that

#look at you #you dont want to die #of course i dont want to die #then fight #i did i tried #one time #house get out of my car #you dont have to just accept this #yes i do have to accept this #i have 5 months to live and you're making me go through this alone I'm pissed because I'm dying and its not fair i need a friend i need to #know that youre there i need you to tell me that my life was worthwhile and i need you to tell me that you love me #no im not going to tell you that unless you fight #house md #hilson

[shadowduel]

We talked about making it I'm sorry that you never made it And it pains me just to hear you have to say it You knew the game and played it It kills to know that you have been defeated I see the wires pulling while you're breathing . . .

#ransara #ranmaru kageyama #sara chidouin #yttd #your turn to die #kmgsn #kimi ga shine #shadowart #NOTES TIME!!! #so i wanted this to directly parallel the moment where midori took maple back to the operating table to “fix” her #aka mold her into a killing machine for his own benefit #i like thinking about sara and midori parallels #and i think it's no coincidence that so much of chapter 3 focuses on a theme of toxic romantic feelings #kinda like how ch2 has a strong theme of family? but anyways #something else i wanted to do was show ranmaru's expression halfed between endeared and something more sinister #such as when we see his eyes go white after killing alice/reko #overall it's just kind of a really cool metaphorical piece i had fun doing #“fixing” not as in “making better” but as in “making how i want” #oh and of course the arrangement of wires parallels his victim video LOL #kio dont look #hi kio if u looked #which i bet you did and then scrolled past but still read the tags #or maybe u will look at it with ur eyes?!?! woah.... #anyone smoke weed in this threa

[sonknuxadow]

also i just saw the christmas themed wave of sonic toys and its so funny that the whole thing is the classic characters wearing christmas themed outfits . except for shadow hes just there and hes not even wearing a christmas outfit hes just sparkly now

#tails and knuckles are just slight recolors of their advent calendar outfits. and sonic is wearing his exact advent calendar outfit #so . dont really care about those. but amy and eggman didnt have christmas outfits in the advent calendar but do have them here #idk why they didnt just put those in the advent calendar. but the christmas amy is so cute i want her #and of course theres already resellers who took the whole set and are selling them for 70+ dollars. literally die

[mystical-one]

WARNING IM GOING TO BE HONEST AND EARNEST HERE. i really unironically unconditionally liked now and then

#like honestly i listened to it 2794288 times in the shower and came to the disgraceful revelation that like. oh my god it is a fucking beatl #es song and theyre 81 and 83 and 37 and 52 and theyre still ON the same song and fuck shit yes i get the solo is NOT georges and it makes me #a little upset but its still done in his memory and his style andthis is PAUL we are talking about and of course he is going to run away #with a project like this and going to do the solo but EVEN then he made the solo with george in mind and tried to emulate his style whether #it was an accurate representation or not they still care so fucking much. theyre the FUCKING beatles releasing music TODAY what the fuck #i will definitely feel different about this tomorrow morning but ive listened to this thing through on repeat since it released and buddy. #who care. like SO fucking much everyone care but WHO CARE!!!!!!!!! OLD MAN BEATLES YAOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY IN 2023!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #sorry does this make sense. like im a george defender until i die but i could heard his guitars enough to be moderately pacified and #honestly im too tired and excited and emotionally drained to care anymore. tjey tried so so hard to do something and they DID it #i have a much MUCH more nuanced opinion that i could go into. but i dont want to rn🙏🏻 #emi's meandering jotts

[utopianparadoxist]

Maybe men are violent warmongers because it's an easier way to die than just admitting that you want to

and everyone else, women or transbies or nbs or what the fuck ever, existentially hate us so much and are collectively so ruthlessly unempathetic and two-faced about it that it's just fucking easier to hang out with infinite men murdering each other face to face.

Like maybe at least it's more honest.

Maybe that's the real secret behind all the warrior cult glorification of power and violence shit, maybe we should all consider that possibility for once

#i feel so poisoned by hate that im drowning in it #i have never wanted to die more viscerally and im still not going to #im not going to do jack shit but sit around hoping for this story #hoping for a different world #hoping for true friends #and none of its real but that just doesnt matter #i dont know how to live any other way and i never did #there was never any hope for me from the beginning #hope is a curse #suicidal ideation #depression #internet self harm yeah of course i fucking know but so what #its not like i have anything else left really

[gncrezan]

I love your unhealthy clingy famous MC you don't understand how feral I'm over him

THANK YOU I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY TOO!!!!! the backstory with absent parents and just. everything about seven... i think makes a lot of infamous ocs potentially lean into this?? or at least there are a ton of choices that just made me go "oh yeah. that's him" . idk there is an element to how infamous is written that really helps with characterising him, including how customisable it is, and i do love that about this IF!!!!! crying about him below the cut <3

aki kind of navigates the world worried his loved ones will leave him and is a little too clingy because of it. he also has been playing those worries off by being charming, flirty and funny. like he can somehow project this hyper-extrovered version of himself and try to make people love that !!! he drops that more around his bandmates/friends, but not in front of people he's just met (please guess who accidentally escalated the bed fight on the tour bus)

aki also hooks up with people a lot, just cause he likes sex but also because he enjoys the no-strings-attached. because of those attachment issues, when he gets something that feels black and white to him, something one-and-done and he leaves in the morning, he can just. take feelings out the equation. he knows its not meant to last so he can just walk out (leave! hit da bricks!!! walk out!!!!!)

committing to a romantic relationship . you can imagine. is a little complicated due to all this LMFAO he just overthinks and worries before even getting into it, regardless of if it's reciprocated or not. between the one time he's actually into someone (seven) and how that ended (...badly) + the fact that deliriously avoiding commiting to anything except hookups = very little (none at all) actual dating experience. aki has no idea to deal with it and will balk. yeah this is immature of him but i have plans to make this guy character develop so hard throughout the course of infamous that he may implode

i love the genre of character where they're just going "i know i have a few issues, who doesn't, but honestly i think i'm well adjusted!!" <- they are not well adjusted. in fact they're worse than they think

also no one asked for the orionmance essay i sent my friend but here it is <3

#the seven not-a-breakup can actually completely hinder your mc too <3 #aki just internalises it. OF COURSE not blaming seven for feeling abandoned and then leaving. literally they get voted out #regardless of if the pc votes for or against. but aki never expected seven to walk out of his life and it adds to his issues #i am very much leaning towards the valenreign poly and orion because of the aforementioned tho #vic and him have so much like. common ground in that projection and performance . g's drive and passion is i think the same #also g /picking/ him. vic enjoying his music. that means everything to him. to be seen for what he values in himself #very fun and very chaotic but they fall into place . i dont think aki would have expected it but he wouldn't change it #orion i think nudges him constantly into being a more. true version of himself. like just more genuine #also has something about him that makes aki just. blurt out the truth of how he feels. LOL. #akihiro yasumi #so so sorry for the essay anon. this ask was the equivalent of a free pass to talk forever to me #on that note. big fat mouth arlie is in his playlist. 'that comment wasn't funny/just wanted you to love me' dear god. #also oc aki that exists outside (and existed before) infamous is so much less. like This #him in infamous is a lot of his personality dialed up to 11 bc of the circumstances he's in (almost-famous lead singer) #and also a result of the pre-written backstory and how he'd react to that #he's literally just a hairdresser. his best friend is a office worker. they are each others wingmen. they will die embarassing each other #he also has siblings but infamous kind of drags him out of a doting older brother figure and directly into #.... well. the pc's parents. sorry aki #answered #anon

[meltamorphosis]

i wish polyamory was real and not just something invented for the mcu (metamorphosis cinematic universe)

#melty doodles #enstarsposting #metamorphosis #hiimomokana #i acnt post this on my art blog . Id die #im already battling cringe enough as is #anywa y all of the hiimomos were done over the course of like a couple of weeks #ubt then when i was playing house flipper i realized i could upload images and hang them in the houses #and i really wanted to leave a mtmphs in every house i flipped #so i went ahead and spedran kaname and the finishing touches on the hiimomos within 3 hours so that i could have an image to upload #im a little ill i think #sometimes i want to go back in time and shake pre-mtmphs meltys shoulders #and go DO YOU KNOW . DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE GETTING YOURSELF INTO #tis the hubris of the polyamory guy . None of you understand the state my brain is in these days im so deep in the autism trenches #i typicsally only polymtmphspost on twitter dot com bc smth smth less people to witness me being insane #smth smth i Created mtmphs and i dont want to alienate an audience who prefers only to see them as platonic (which is valid and based btw) #but man . I like how this turned out

[todayisafridaynight]

do u think mines feelings are reciprocated? idk from how they handled mine and daigos relationship in y3 it felt as if they were hinting that they had some under the radar relationship going on or smtging

im not sure really. i do think daigo loved mine though, at the very least cherished him immensely.

#snap chats #hang on im rambling about rggo for the ninety millionth time #cause i was gonna initially say 'i dont think his feelings were as intense as mine's but he did love him' #but then i remember daigo shilled out a billion and got shot Day Five into knowing the dude #that could just be daigo's character and he's just. Ride Or Die like that for ANYONE close to him #he was happy to give shinada all the money he lost even though the two were mostly just schoolmates #which is. The Funniest thing to me still but anyway #but isn't mine like that too? the circumstances are different of course though .. #theres the angle that its as exactly daigo says: the tojo are his family and he wants to protect them #but then that bar fuckery ...... everything homosexual happens at that bar i stg #im crying now cause first theres the obvious You Single line #but then the bartender fuckin snitchin on daigo to mine bein all #'oh yeah no daigo talks about you a lot and says youre one of the most reliable guys in the tojo #and he's afraid you're not being yourself around him and he hopes your relationship with money is ok' LKE YOU SNITCH #i still think of daigo calling mine 'stupid' at the end of that story though. lke girl .... girl i know why yu sayin that ... #my sons pissed mine threw himself away thinkin he wasnt worthy to daigo when it was the exact opposite .. #im gonnna thrw up now bye

[rin-enjoyer]

"oh sakura is the rin of team 7 cuz they're both gealers" "naruto is the rin of team 7 cuz they're both optimistic" WRONG sasuke is the rin of team 7 on account of they both equate "having goals" with "being a person."

#do you see my vision #guys who hinge their entire identity on what they set out to accomplish lmao lmao #i mean everyone's a little guilty of that but they're by far the worst offenders #nohara “if i want to throw the earth into the sun surely i will get a good grade in being a person” rin #and uchiha “i am an avenger i will kill my brother i wll fulfil my purpose and then like. die i guess” sasuke #its the trauma <3 and the masks <3 and the assumptions that somewhere deep down they have a “real self” #(they dont cuz thats not how personing works. but they think they do. and they're very put out because they cant find it) #i just think they're neat :3333 #oh kakashi is sakura of course of course (aughhhh self flagulation aufg augh) #and naruto is obito. i guess cannon can have that one. #mann naruto makes me sad. golden retrivor of a guy who wanted to change things #but got beat down by the system he wanted to challenge until he was complicit in it. sad! #anyways someday i will compile my thoughts on how rin and sasuke disengage witg the shinobi system #by just. having different values. and Not Caring about that junk #i mean dont get me wrong theres smth wrong with both of them still. its just like. a different #weird problem #ok cool. walks off into the ocean

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

im going to move them so they arent overlappyng. but i need you to see them forever. featuring the return of tablet pressure

#as king of the pillheaded boys im... still at a loss as to how to make him look good. #theyre trying to take nice school photos. larry and blaines parents will kill them if they dont send home a nice pic of them in uniform #but spader can do whatever he wants of course. also hes gonna die so i let him do anything he wants :) #(like tell jokes and ruin larry and blaines cute school picture)(its okay HIS mom will LOVE it. look how cute HE is.) #wip #you wouldnt know it but this is not just going to be a photo of these kids. but theyre obv the spotlight as usual to me #digital

[margle]

hmmmmmmmmm been doing some thinking. my brain is tired and slow but. i never usually am a "x ship is going to go canon" type of person. but ive been thinking about the way they have been presenting deetress in the last couple of seasons. and it does feel like a very natural progression. from a narrative perspective, the last few times the waitress was on the show, she was paired with dee. hmmmmmm very interesting. either its because they remembered that women sometimes speak to each other and wanted to make up for lost time. or its because deetress are going to have sweaty sex

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

#this is inane #but ive been busy with life stuff so i havent been posting as much #an di dont want to let the obsession die #so this is like a gentle watering of my deetress garden #speaking of life stuff #ive altered the course of my life over my inability to make decisions #which is funny #and actually a good thing #i dont rush into things #but also a bad thing because ive missed opportunities #also i might try modding #that seems fun #like for games

[shesalewa]

My Roman Empire is 14yro me joking about committing suicide before my mom died because I was too scared to hear or learn about her death, and my mother's response to that was

"Stop saying that. You know the only worst thing that can happen to a parent is their children dying before them."

I still think about that whenever I joke about killing myself.

#ever since i started highschool i started having a joke about killing myself #whenever i got stressed I'd say: #ugh. i wanna die. #of course it's was to make the people around me get used to my dark humor #however i didn't think I'd use it so much thag even i didn't know if it a joke anymore #but from the very start i think my mom knew something was wrong with me #but she never sent me to a therapist nor a psychiatrist. we can't really afford that. not even now. #but she'd find ways to make me. my sister. and brother feel like we have worth. #but when she said that i think she thought that she's failing as a parent #especially because her husband was always absent in raising us #i still joke about killing myself. but i tone it down a bit because i don't want my mom to look at me like that again #it's sad #i dont like the way she stared at me #im probably being dramatic #but ever since then whenever my mom came home tired and stressed #and i wad happy and energized. #i would take half of her negative energy and be sad too

[caffeinatedopossum]

I honestly don't think I was capable of fully understanding how dangerous restricting was until after I had been in recovery for like 8 months already. And I sadly really mean that. I worry about you guys :((

#i dont mean this in a condescending way i mean this in a i literally had brain damage from my ed way #if you dont care if you die or not thats one thing. but believe me when i tell you this: #your ed will not kill you fast. it will take 10+ years of physical and psychological torture. and yes i mean torture thats not exaggeratio #and if you decide in ten years that its not worth and you want to recover thats awesome of course #but theres a high likelihood of irreversible damage at that point #it doesnt take a lot to make your body sick #not nearly as much as i think you guys think #the things you're sacrificing are not under your control. you didnt choose to be sick and you do deserve to be helped #we all make it out one way or another #i just hope you guys make it out sooner than i did #because no one deserves that and i mean it. not even me #the things your ed can do to you arent even talked about. not in media not even in a lot of anorexia forums #not even by the doctors that treat them #after a few years of restricting even if you havent lost weight your body is damaged #your brain is damaged. a lot of the damage is reversible but some of it inevitably wont be #idk i know fear mongering isnt going to help any of you #i just get really mad that there arent better resources and treatments for us out there #i may be just one person but i mean this with all of my heart #i hope you find better days and health and carefree mornings and nights without the shroud of obsessive thoughts #and warmth and love and the mental clarity and strength to keep fighting #you all mean so much to me #and this blog will always be a safe space for people struggling with eds wether they want to recover or not #please take care of yourselves

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

STARKY THE TRAILER

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING

A T A L L

AND YET YOU'RE TOTALLY CERTAIN THAT

EVERYTHING WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU WERE JUST NEAR

ONE

PARTICULAR

PERSON

#GOOD OMENS SEASON 2 #GOOD OMENS SPOILERS #GOOD OMENS TV #FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF #not you Ana of course you're doing amazing thank you for informing me of this heinous tragedy and checking in on me in this harrowing time #IF I FUCKING SPEAK THOUGH. IF I SPEAK. GIRLIES I WANT TO BELIEVE BUT.................. #babysgarage #Starky Loves Answering Questions #motherfucker. piss and fuck. this is either going to be the greatest thing ever to happen on the planet or we're going to die badly en mass #or both somehow #i bet they do hold hands but they dont kiss. like realistically. they'll hold hands. look lovingly. won't kiss. #the discourse will reach previously unimagined heights of exhausting. whatever. WHATEVER. #they did say they started a war after all #ARGHGHGHGHGHGH IM BEING SO NEGATIVE AND FOR WHAT SMH IT'S GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! IM NOT UNGRATEFUL IT'S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #ITS GOOD IGNORE ME #BYE #GOOD OMENS

[note-boom]

Honestly, though, words cannot express my love and appreciation for the ADA and the way they subvert tropes. Like Fukuzawa for example.

You know how a lot of fiction (justifiably, I think) has leaders being corrupt and always undermining the values of their organization to protect themselves? How usually they're the cold-hearted logical ones who discard the ideals to save their reputation?

Well, that's not Fukuzawa. That speech about doing the right thing even if they were labelled as the bad guys was not only such incredible foreshadowing but it was also just to show what a strong leadership and family they are. He wants to keep them all safe and values them all equally...but he also does not let that get in the way of protecting and saving others I love him so much guys you have no idea....

#of course that means if (spoilers for the manga) does die in the current arc then that's like the moral backbone of the agency falling #and i dont want to think about that #but guys i wont EVER be over a show actually showing decent leadership #maybe that's why kunikida was to be the next leader....because he might be the idealist of the group but he is also kinda grounded #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh THE AGENCY IS SOOOOOO #they do something to me and that ED again KILLED me and im sobbing #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd season 4 #bsd s4 spoilers #bsd spoilers #armed detective agency #bsd fukuzawa #spitting nonsense #character analysis

[roetrolls]

Current mood is full on weeping in the bathroom as I text my family about how much I love them

#i dont know why???? im so emotional tonight? #but im so full of love that im literally crying about it #LIKE IM NOT SAD THEY’RE NOT SAD TEARS #im just. SO overwhelmed with love and appreciation for the people in my life #of course because i have anxiety my brain is trying to tell me this is a Sign that something bad is coming #and my overwhelming urge to tell people i love them is because i have senses i am going to Die #*sensed #but the logical part of my brain says that is stupid and i am just on my period #feeling relieved because my first 2 classes went smoothly after a very long weekend #i just #i want everyone in my life to know that they are so so loved