#and none of its real but that just doesnt matter

[utopianparadoxist]

Maybe men are violent warmongers because it's an easier way to die than just admitting that you want to

and everyone else, women or transbies or nbs or what the fuck ever, existentially hate us so much and are collectively so ruthlessly unempathetic and two-faced about it that it's just fucking easier to hang out with infinite men murdering each other face to face.

Like maybe at least it's more honest.

Maybe that's the real secret behind all the warrior cult glorification of power and violence shit, maybe we should all consider that possibility for once

#i feel so poisoned by hate that im drowning in it #i have never wanted to die more viscerally and im still not going to #im not going to do jack shit but sit around hoping for this story #hoping for a different world #hoping for true friends #and none of its real but that just doesnt matter #i dont know how to live any other way and i never did #there was never any hope for me from the beginning #hope is a curse #suicidal ideation #depression #internet self harm yeah of course i fucking know but so what #its not like i have anything else left really

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

#raise your pencils!!!! and erasers. to fix the backwards letters 😔 #sorry still thinking about my weirdness with my art professors. yknow a lot of em have been really pushing us as #students to make our personal identities a major part of like our 'brand' as artists #which. well from an art history major perspective thats a very contentious and nuanced topic. i love a lot of artists who live this way #and i think its great seeing my peers who focus on identity thrive. but also as an fine arts major (double major fool LOL) #i keep getting pushed by teachers into like. specific '____ artist' identities??? #specificaly woman artist. which is a little bizarre because im a bit fat and a bit gnc so im generally like. ungendered? in day-to-day life #(which doesnt actually matter to me directly that much honestly LOL people tend to view me as like. buddy? buddy or pal.) #(not man. not woman. not anything human. sometimes i remind people of a beloved dog. which. hkdsahjk thats its own can of worms) #(a can of worms that also doesnt matter much to me directly because im a wannabe furry who chose to be the dog when playing house as a kid) #(LOL so um. well. theres that) but yeah i dunno i dont really consider myself a woman artist. its been. shockingly (and sometimes luckily?) #irrelevant to most of my life and experiences and art (although dont get me wrong misogyny is very real and very present) so i dont #have a whole lot to say about it from an art perspective. you could also call me all kinds of things. a queer artist. a mixed race artist #again technically correct. some aspects more visible in my work than others. but also very technical. i focus on race a lot in in my #art historical work but i dunno how much my drawings have to say. except that i keep making too many mixed ocs LOL #i dunno i just think my professors gotta focus that energy away from tokenizing me and over to supporting like actual #capital W Woman artists capital Q Queer artists capital A Artists of Colour who are doing far more interesting things than I #far more thought out and engaged in these topics directly. i just kind of stumble into my art blindly and confused <3 #sorry that was a long tangent WHAT IM SAYING Is despite all that: i do consider myself a capital D Dysgraphic artist #i think its an unmovable constant of my art and the way i draw and the way my hands move. the untrained eye doesnt seem to be as aware #of it directly. but those who are familiar can probably see it. the dysgraphia LOL if not just from whenever i write a letter or number #half of them are busted and frantically fixed HDKJSDJDS but its in all my art. if u can see it <3 ive been trying to embrace it #dygraphic artists raise your pencils indeed!! and throw away the eraser!!! make the legibility of your words everyone elses problem!!! #what does that say? what is that sketch? none of my business! none of your business!! its the business of my hand and the pencil alone #motor skill and spatial issues take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel

[cartoonrival]

actually i lied popular ships i dont like are anything with amy especially surgamy sorry ..... its because im an aroace amy truther and i think its sus when ships with zero canon support are somehow extremely popular. not to be like “this fandom is obsessed with shipping” cause i think ppl like that are lowkey annoying but like come on. you can just not ship them with anyone . and i dont think surge would have a crush on amy i htink shed think amys kind of a stick in the mud and find her psychoanalysis really infuriating because surge has problems she doesnt like people pointing out

#txt157 #i know theres like 2 panels where amy looks at blaze lovingly etc i dont care . isnt for me sorry. #also ik the character ages have been #officially kiboshed so it matters less now but i did think it was weird that people against the s0namy age gap would turn around and ship #her with blaze #AGAIN IT REALLY DOESNT MATTER ITS SO INCONSEQUENTIAL IM NOT SAYING IF U SHIP AMY N BLAZE UR A BAD OERSON #like i dont care. just an observation. #sth #i dont like s0namy either but thats kind of a given. and its not really even that popular on tumblr #NONE OF THIS IS INTENDED TO COME OFF AS REAL HATE I GEN DONT CARE IM JUST BLUNT

[selkiecoded]

i love it when a m/m genderswap -> f/f thing becomes kinda popular and then people are like why isnt there more of this f/f content :( idk. you could also try caring about actual female characters. just a suggestion?

#cleaning out my drafts wheee. its not a real actual problem because it doesnt matter. none of this matters. its not real. #but its also really funny and indicative of how people who do these things' minds work. can you not conceive caring abt a female chara #unless they have been transmogrified from a male character base? and not even in a trans way. like i love trans hcs but its so clear when #someone has genderswapped a chara and tacked on 'and theyre trans btw ^_^' when they dont actually care theyre just saying that for points. #anyways. back to my life outside of the computer screen.

[tremerechantry]

You identify with Patrick Bateman because "sigma male manipulator emotionless masculinity based schizo murderer", I identify with Patrick Bateman because of his fundamental lack of self esteem--the fact that he feels so empty inside that he has to turn to absolutely disgusting competitive materialism in an effort to maintain any sense of self worth. His clothes, his furniture, his belongings, the music he listens to, the food he eats, the shows he sees, the politics he'll pay only basic lip service to and then contradict three sentences later, the women he fucks, his career, his degree... these are the only things that he has in terms of an identity, and he reacts absolutely violently to anyone that threatens that. He kills Paul Owens because he threatens Patrick's sense of status. Patrick kills gay men who threaten his masculinity. The ex-girlfriend who threatens his image as a perfect specimen. Prostitutes and the homeless, because his ability to kill them and get away with it bolsters his own sense of wealth and status.

And he thinks of himself as a killer because killing is something he alone in his circle supposedly does. He continuously pushes the envelope, committing increasingly more horrific and blatant murders, because this is something he can be noticed for. He begins viewing his own reality as if he were watching a movie... filling up the emptiness inside him with delusions of grandeur. And if anyone around him could actually notice the murders, he would gain some sense of recognition, but no one does. Even if they actually do happen in the novel, the only person that actually remarks on them is Patrick himself. Even if the outside world pays absolutely no attention to what Patrick is capable of, he knows what he is on the inside.

But inside doesn't matter.

So we're not the same. And I think you're pretty stupid.

#Notable also that the only people he seems not to kill whatsoever are those in love with him. thus boosting his self esteem #I'm... such a Patrick Bateman as an artist truther #like... the murders are his artistic output #he is otherwise a completely generic person who means nothing. but he genuinely takes solace in his identity as this 'artist' #but I think in the course of the novel it's revealed that MUCH LIKE ME most of his artistic output happens in his mind #so it doesn't matter you know? Inside doesn't matter. Patrick has all these ideas and fantasies and creativity inside him #and none of it is real until he actually puts it out into the real world. which he fails to #and inside doesnt matter. inside doesnt matter. the novel is just his process of giving up on himself as an artist and resigning himself #to the fact that HE IS NOTHING #he has absolutely no worth because the one thing he prides himself on is not actually being seen by anyone else...... #like he is just like me for real. the continuous rambling about things you're an 'expert' on #that are blatantly false or misunderstood because you are stupid really #but you can't accept that because the idea of being a person that Knows Things About This is too important to your self worth #because the only way you can respect yourself is if everyone sees all the great things you have on the outside. #got to make it clear on the outside. because inside youre hollow and there's nothing actually good there. #so your degree your grades your weight your looks your intelligence your trivia knowledge your artistic output your ability to just #KEEP MAKING THINGS ALL THE TIME #how much you can make people laugh. how well read you are (you arent really) how good your taste in music is #this is what matters and you need this to be noticed by other people all the time because inside you arent anything really #but its okay if inside doesnt matter. youre not fucking pretty on the inside

[noisy-weasel]

When you can't play the main story because you're too weak and you can't catch up on hard mode 3 chapters behind because you're still too weak and you can't play the event because you're too weak and farming levels is a horrible part time job and it's like well wtf man. wtf I'm supposed to do?

#obey me #and then they ask me to rate their game. its a 1 for you my boy #sorry but i dont gaf about r8ings online bc theyre all fake anyway except for games with like 10reviews max #my 1 star rating wont change shit so it doesnt matter how i truly feel abt the game #still obsessed with tbe game but yeah its clear from day 1 fhat the battle system is not really well thought out #its not completely unpolished or anything its just WAY too grindy #theres kinda no excuse for only getting 200-320xp per battle when lvl ups are in the 10k of xp #and the quick clear not giving card xp is absurdly stupid + greedy #i genuinely do not know what to do rn besides just open tbe game every hour to send out jobs #since using money is the only real way to level cards that isnt a second job #really unfortunate basically #and then some absolutely unhinged person on reddit said you should have 3 cards per color?????? #lady... i dont even have ONE CARD PER COLOR and leveling the 3 from my main party is taking SEVERAL YEARS #time to go back to my ikemen games for a while methinks #im caught up in ikepri but none of the others

[totentnz]

................. thinking about au v and rogue again

#sammy says shit #v gets hurts regularily its not a big deal for her #ofc rogue tells her to be more careful every time #puts on a front about how a job needs to be done cleanly (which is TRUE) #and how v cant take on more work when she's injured (also true but not as much) #and v gets all grinny and happy and goes 'aw you love me' #which rogue brushes off as her being an idiot (once again true but not really) #it all comes to light clearly when v really really gets hurt during one job #she had just lost some of her cyberware and in a matter of hubris wildly underestimated the risks #she usually picks up rogues check in calls during gigs and even if she doesnt she does shoot a quick message with an update #but one day none of this happens and she returns to the afterlife completely battered #with a job done but clearly in need of medical attention #she doesnt remember half of this because when things go real bad she enters some kind of trance #which usually gets her out of a lot of shit but its certainly not a good sign #rogue goes BASLLISTIC - not at v - but herself for putting a loyal and treasured friend in a bad position #and ofc the asshole(s) who did this to her #let me tell you fellas - i am LIVING

[everythingsinred]

“vampires are PROBLEMATIC because they represent the wealthy class and elites--”

to YOU! to me they represent endless fun

#whenever i see sour takes abt vampires 'sucking the lifeblood of the working class' i wanna blow up a building or smth #idk how to tell u this but. #A. vampires are not real #B. they can represent lots of things to different ppl so if they represent the wealthy in one story then they represent the wealthy there. #C. the most famous 'real' balkan vampires were peasants. good bye #D. historically vampires in fiction have represented marginalized communities #specifically lgbt+ people. in both positive and negative ways. #E. NONE OF THIS MATTERS BC VAMPIRES ARENT REAL #u cant get mad at a folkloric figure for being problematic bc they aRENT REAL fgydufgsdgfs #literally yall get so ANGRY abt so many things that DO NOT MATTER im gonna throw up #please please please im begging you to have a conversation w a real normal person #preferably irl and w someone who doesnt engage very much w social media #please im begging #little anya things #yall dont know how to have fun. how to just chill abt smth. #its fine if ur not into vampires its okay u dont have to come up w a reason #i dont like werewolves. its not deep i just dont like them its okay

[salsflore]

... nobody look at the tags i’m two steps away from losing my mind and need to let it out

#sorry for hopelessly loving a homicidal and megalomaniac ginger do you guys still think i’m cool? #this is just childe rambling really #ugh. how awful #i miss him so so bad none of you get it srsly it’s upsetting how much i miss him #aggressively eating all the polaroids i have of him #HES SO HIDEOUS STOP IT LMFOAFKEK kiss me. what are you waiting for. #my wallpaper especially makes me feel silly this might be one of my fave childe arts #that i don’t want to miss you (like i do) song started playing. www how fitting KISS ME FUCK YOU #this shit is devastating AGH!@";@ #I NEED TO BE NORMAL BUT HOW. HES MY BLORBO?+?? #i am not gonna be normal when our anniversary comes #its a longgg way but. i just need something to look forward to !!! #so many things to stress abt in the next month i don’t know how to make it through i just. really really #what i would give to hug him ONCE (1) it doesnt matter if hes not real i'll clone him the fuck? #hes so so so so dear to me i hate it i hate how much i love him WHYYWYWYW AREN'T YOU REAL?!?%? #ssiggghhhhhhhhhhh...... barely getting by. i can only hope next month treats me kindly.. #i am horrified everyday with the more time that passes but god. zhongli & childe (luc doesn't count he's like There but like i said i'm- #-not as attached lmfao. we just hang out in my brain every sunday) r such huge comforts i love love love them #i had a dream about them recently it was nice. from the bottom of my heart i love love love childe (sorry li u get a brief mention at most) #i’m gonna explode into the sun #i have to rely on the little things to get by nowadays and i guess they dont count (??) but IT DOES TO ME !!! SHUT UP #i hope nobody has actually read this far i’ll cry #2 yrs... soonnnnnnn.......

[myriadsystem]

.

#must not text him texting him is the growth killer #must not text him texting him would be bad because it will make us feel bad and its my fucking bday this weekend #im not letting me do that to us #but fucking god i miss him rn and a lot lately 😭😮‍💨 was there a traumaversary i didnt know about?? #the only him related traumaversary already happened in feb and we handled it pretty fairly well (mostly due to the ffected being dormant) #but still like. what did i do last year for my bday? what did we do the year before he was probably there then but i dont remember feeling #this way around last bday? which he prroobbabblyy wasnt there for? time is not easy for me #idk its driving me crazypants lately like i miss him so much i thought he was my everything forever he told me he would be #but hes not and he never was and hes done a lot to hurt me but none of it was on purpose he was never mean or violent #and looking at old pictures we look so fucking good together and old chats the way he talked to me was so sweet and but that doesnt change #the fact that at this point in time and probably never again is he actually here #fuck this noise man ive got a cute outfit ready im going to the local museum with my grandma for my bday day #and ive got weed and tunes planned for the evening there are so many things to look forward to coming soon why #why do i seem to be stuck in the past lately. like not in active ptsd mode im not triggered as the kids love to say but i just cant stop #thinking abt him and the whole relationship and wishing he was here. wishing he never left? or more like wishing hed come back #hoping that hes changed enough and that i have too to make it work. i keep having awful visions of him coming to my door after a life attemp #and im so mad at him but i cant leave him out here so of course i invite him in to care for him and make sure hes ok #and its awful because it feels like a whisper away from being reality. its too close to what could be real #and its awful not because its a dream but because the closeness to what could be reality hurts so much when logic kicks in #and i know its not reality no matter how dang close it seems #personal #i think im splitty lately. im losing more time than usual and i cant get this boy outta my head. #i hope hes a lingering thought and not a permanent resident oh that would fuck us up so so bad #idk. idk dude! everythings fucked up atm im doing a lot of personal growth but im also behind on so many other things #i just want him out of my brain. its my fucking goddamn birthday and im making this one a good one for fucking once #i can handle the other shit later but this one do be fucking me up in a major way lately the last few days. weeks? who knows

[waywardsalt]

:3

#some tag rambles bc im having a bunch of loz thoughts to hey why not do a short lived tag ramble #starting with the bad i have thought more on how i feel totk fucked up its characters and its like. yeah any arcs that are there are bad #zeldas is dogshit all of the sages are just. VERY tell no show and it really doesnt matter and otherwise idk #nothing wrong with a static character but imo with a static character you then have to show more of them #reveal some things. also doesnt really happen. the main speaking cast are also kinda weak in relation to link #they dont really work off of him very well bc hes… not treated like a character. hes just some virtuous everyman in the story #so theres no actual chemistry between him or the other characters bc he isnt treated a character so like. he has almost no chemistry #its all mostly one sided and none of the sages but zelda have any real chemistry with other major characters either #and the major characters zelda has chemistry with barely matter so fuck it. like when ppl talk abt like. loz stories #and ppl talk abt how yeah they arent the best but totk is rlly bad. i dont feel like any other loz stories are baaaaad #not in the same way. but they dont feel as egregiously fumbled. imo its bc of the characters most of them time #ofc story can be strong enough and im not discounting stuff like mm and oots themes and atmosphere and stuff #it seeeems to me the most popular non zelda sage is tulin? but mostly bc hes a sweet kid and thats fine and all but there doesnt seem to #be much else to him hes otherwise kinda unremarkable bc he just doesnt do much else and seems to exists mostly to serve gameplay and plot #botw did it better bc the champions actively had a dynamic and a relationship with link they arent the deepest but they have more substance #botw zelda is arguably the strongest character in botw with a unique personality and genuine relationship to link even if we just see it #in the memories and seeing her warm up to link is cool but imp they fumble it in the ending of her arc and how it kinda contradicts stuff #and in totk they doubled the fuck down on her unlocking her powers for reasons related to link and decided ig shed figure she needs to be #links forever bestie and hypeman and she kinda just revolves around him in a really superficial way and this is the negative extreme #of a character being bolstered by being connected to link. but anyways in loz its the characters that tend to be the strongest points #and the characters with a clear dynamic and relationship to link shine the most. think groose ghirahim ravio midna fi marin linebeck sheik #the list could go on but the characters who get a chance to shine by interacting with the Player Character are the ones who stick out #and ofc they get more screen time but they cant avoid that character development or general character fleshing out bc they are in some way #tied to link and in a sort of way link himself is more fleshed out through how those other characters react to him if that makes sense #i think loz is at its best when a good bit of emphasis and effort is placed on characters and character relationships #and when thise relationships and character are written well ofc this fucking matters too #anyways thats why ph is one of the best we love our character heavy black sheep them ds characters carry so hard and so fucking well mwah

[psykoz]

if you arent a pos who believes SA is wrong no matter what then you can ignore this but um

i am actually not even a little joking, if you dont care or dont believe the israeli women who experienced SA on/because of oct 7th just actually block me. ignoring SA does not in any universe help any cause and trying to justify it as anything other than violent misogyny and outright antisemitism is disgusting freak behavior. be normal

#ive wholly seriously seen posts for weeks at this point #saying things in various different wordings along the lines of #'all those women are liars but even if not theyre all clearly actively doing apartheid PERSONALLY and deserve it' WOW #tell me first of all how thats not violent VIOLENT misogyny! and the antisemitism of doing this to only fucking israeli women?? #when in other conflicts in other parts of time and space ive seen those same ppl saying rape is not justifiable no matter what?? #FUCK right off #ive just been blocking the posters immediately out of blind fucking rage #so im p sure none of ny muts think thi but fr if you are secretly thinking its all a hoax or its real but doesnt matter #then i think you are objectively a bad person so go

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Gonna throw up If I can't talk about them-

Bunch of Aiden analysis under the cut because he's just SO OBSESSED CODED AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT 😭 (I will be very weird about it)

The way it's so doomed from the start. He's already so fascinated by her. It's in the little jump he does when she sits in front of him, like a secret they're both in on, like her sitting in front of him is some obscure way of her inviting him into a conversation.

Why is he like this (not positive but not negative either)

He has such a cocktail of personality traits and, most certainly, mental disorders, and his own history that makes it so, when he's in love, that it WILL blow up in his face.

The fact that he's been homeschooled for his entire life- he has no idea. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW. He doesnt realize that its not normal. of course he doesn't :( His parents obviously leave him alone for long stretches of time and he doesn't seem to mind this. He hasn't had the chance to develop his social skills at all-

It's why he's so, let's be real, creepy. Ash makes it very clear she's not interested and he just keeps worming his way into her life. He plots so that she'll go on the field trip, he follows her around, he goes to her fucking house on the first day. LIKE, HELLO? RED FLAG?

He's having evil thoughts here I swear 💀

And already so quickly after meeting her he makes Ash his priority. He asks to sit next to her, he engages and makes an effort to talk to her. Tries to joke around with her. Gives her a nickname. Touches her. He's so touchy.

And defends her!!! When Tyler gets pissed at Ash, he honestly goes off on him even tho he KNOWS Ash can defend herself- and he's so...dark about it. There's a threat hidden behind his words. He's MAD here, right? Tell me I'm not crazy, please-

He also very clearly has violence on the forefront of his mind 💀 He's the first one to actively attack the phantoms; not to defend himself, not to defend somebody else (well, he pulls Ash out of the way), but for fun. And he's disappointed when they don't scream. He's sadistic, he likes causing pain, it's something he relishes in.

I mean look at how he smiles!!! None of the other kids have such an...active ENJOYMENT in fighting the phantoms, but for Aiden, it's almost like he finds relief in it, some way to vent out his frustrations. He's eager for a fight, for a thrill.

That's how Aiden sustains himself, he pretty much operates under "I'm here for a good time, not a long time." Everything he does gives him a boost of adrenaline, no matter the consequences. He got into a fight? Eh, who cares about all the bruises, at least it got his blood rushing. Broke a bone while doing parkour or smth? Whatever, the way his stomach dropped when he was falling as totally worth it.

It's a very dangerous mentality to live with, obviously. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's an addict. More than anything else, Aiden wants something that makes him feel alive.

And what makes you feel more alive than love?

Like not to minimise or anything but he's known her for like. 2-3 months- and he's already SO scared of losing her. Like I just don't think he would have had this type of reaction with anybody else besides Ben. He would have absolutely lost his shit if Ash 'died'.

He's a straight up love junkie. He's obsessive. Nothing beats the high love can give you. It overrules everything else. If Ash (or whoever he's interested in) feels bad because of smth, he's done with it.

He LIKED dying. He LIKED the adrenaline rush. But he won't do it again. Not because he had some realization that he didn't want to die, that he still wanted to live and do things, but because Ash was upset. Because this, this rush of care from her part, the way she was so scared of him dying that she was shaking, nothing could fill the hole in his heart better than that. And now that he has a taste for it, he won't let go easy. He will keep on living- if it means Ash will be by his side.

Which is a very dangerous position to put her in. Ash already feels responsible for her friends, and she doesn't even know that Aiden has "put" his life in her hands, not that it's her responsibility, because it isn't, but she will certainly feel responsible if Aiden does something FOR her.

Like He's so fucking obsessed and he doesn't even realize it- like look at how he sees her 😭 THE HEAVENLY GLOOOOOOW, LIKE SHES AN ANGEL AND HE THINKS SHE CAN SAVE HIM. BABY SHE CANT, YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.

He could spiral so fucking bad. He could do some absolutely heinous things. Because he just doesn't know. He doesn't know how to love truly, yet. For him love really is that rush of adrenaline, the knife carving out his heart, he could be putty in her hands, or her executioner. This love that can be so obsessive, that he NEEDS it to function, like its water, like its the air he breathes. Its a compulsion, a fixation, a longing that burrows into your very soul. Ash doesn't even know what she's getting herself into-

Godddddd, it makes me so sick/ pos, it's SO FUCKING INTERESTINGGGGGG. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I literally cannot function around this drawing 🫠

The. The hand. That way he's grabbing her. He's pulling her back. Towards HIM. like "this is mine. And I'm not sharing." And that little fucking look in his eyes, he just looks SO fucking pleased with himself. And Ash looks so...resigned. they're so doomed-coded, i love them so bad.

I don't know how I was supposed to NOT make a killer au, when he's just...like that around her.

Love is a wonderful thing. But love is also cruel, it is vicious, it is possessive and obsessive, and it will leave carnage in its wake.

Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You cannot stop thinking about another human being. -Helen Fisher

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon) #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #aidlyn #aiden x ashlyn #im gonna scream #rip my teeth out #idk idk #im just mentally ill about them 🫠 #tw obsessive behavior

[wolfiesmoon]

Ratted out

sometimes friends and family accidentally (or purposefully) reveal things they shouldnt :)

characters featured: Leona, Kalim, Jade, Jack

ufff idk whats wrong with me but i ended up creating an entire (unrelated to this fic) movie plan related to twst this is mentally stable activities, truly

also unrelated but the new event got me SCREAMING how do they look so good😫

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Leona Kingscholar

when hanging out with your boyfriend Leona, a little lion boy suddenly jumps him and he immediately lets you go

who is this child???

"Uncle Leona!" the boy clings onto him and you can feel the annoyance eminating from Leona

it's like its own aura thats how annoyed he is🥴

so his nephew (you presume) looks to you all of a sudden and asks "who are you?" with an innocent look on his face

"I'm his lover...?" you said, a little unsure. But when you looked to Leona, he had a look of pure horror on his face...? What is even going on?????

"What?! No way, you're dating Uncle Leona?!" the kid got all excited and ran off somewhere before you could stop him

"...What have you done?" Leona hissed at you through clenched teeth, holding his forehead

you do realise you just revealed that he's dating you to the most big mouthed child in the world, right? that his whole family will know in a matter of minutes, right? that you've basically just invited yourself to every future family gathering at once, right?

and sure enough, in a few minutes he got a surprised text from his brother which he left on read 💀

"Damn brat..." he muttered under his breath, you still confused over what just happened

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Kalim Al-Asim

let's be real babes there is nothing for his siblings to rat him out on because he immediately told his family he was dating you

however....😈

his siblings happened to overhear a little something...

"Hey, hey." one of Kalim's younger brothers pulled your sleeve, wanting to tell you something

"yes?" you answered absentmindedly, thinking he's going to start talking about a strange thing he saw today or something

"Kalim's gonna marry you." he whispered to you, looking around to make sure no one heard

You laughed a little. "If you think so." you pat his little head

"No, he was like, asking mom if he can marry you soon. We heard it." another one of his brothers joined in after hearing the tea being spilled

"What?! Really?!" you're both extremely surprised and happy and mad at his brothers for ruining the surprise right now

oh well, what's done is done, and now you know Kalim is SERIOUS about you

that gets you thinking about wedding stuff now...🤔

What none of you know tho is that Jamil overheard all of you

"Okay, maybe we need to scrap the whole surprise wedding proposal thing..." he sighs, making a mental note of it and preparing to dissapoint poor Kalim

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Jade Leech

jade is like... oddly nice to you after you first meet him

you're a little wary of him considering his reputation but he hasn't done anything weird at all so... might as well accept his gifts?

one time he approaches you with jade in tow and you think absolutely nothing of it since they're together like 90% of the time anyways

"Hello there, are you enjoying your lunch?" he just sat down next to you without asking if he can at all 😔

"Uh, yeah, I suppose." you didn't really know what to tell him and it seems he doesnt know how to continue the conversation either so u just kinda... stare at eachother while Floyd casually steals a bit of ur food

"Maaaan, aren't you like, supposed to be crushing on Little Shrimpy or something? Then taaalk about stuff, I'm bored." Floyd looked bored when he saw the two of you didn't start talking about weird stuff

Jade simply smiled at you, telling you to ignore Floyd

But on the inside he was planning approximately 10 ways to... get rid of someone without others noticing

or alternatively, just beating the everloving crap out of his twin brother if the first plan is not a possibility

"Do you have a crush on me?" you wanted to know now...

"That's for you to think about." he smiled oddly eerily, but then just started talking abt something mundane 😥

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Jack Howl

You're visiting him for the first time because you got curious what his family is like

OF COURSE HE'S AN OLDER BROTHER IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

his younger siblings immediately ambushed you with their little sniffer noses as soon as you stepped in the house🤔

"Who are you?" they asked, always curious about anyone that Jack brings over

When you told them who you were, they immediately ran away to "TELL MOM" and were literally screaming that the two of you are dating so loudly that the whole neighborhood could hear

You could also hear some woman (who you presume is his mom) laughing from somewhere in the house so uhhh.... atleast she isn't mad about it?

You looked back at Jack who seemed more annoyed than anything

"Aren't you gonna... go stop them?" you asked, raising a brow.

"Nah, I was gonna tell mom I'm dating you anyways. I'm just mad that they beat me to it." he crossed his arms, huffing in annoyance

"Actually, speaking of, isn't me dating you kinda a big deal? You told me before that wolves have one partner for life." you actually got kinda nervous, i mean, you gotta impress his family good now

"It is. But I think everyone's just happy I got someone at all." Jack looked at his overly excited siblings who were still celebrating

"Wow, that's sad." you sassed him 😝

"...I shouldn't have brought you."

#˗ˏˋ ★ ♡ 「Wolfie’s other works」 ♡ ★ ˎˊ˗ #wow im finally writing for someone that isnt the big three ™ on my blog gimme a pat on the back for effort #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x y/n #twst x you #twst x yuu #twisted wonderland x yuu #leona x you #leona kingsholar x reader #leona x reader #kalim x reader #kalim al asim x reader #kalim x yuu #jade leech x reader #jade leech x yuu #jade x reader #jack howl x reader #jack howl x yuu #jack howl

[lovecrazedpup]

.

#ngl im just so tired #that conversation rlly threw me off #if i knew it was gonna spiral into that i wouldve just not said it #i said it as a joke i didnt mean it seriously #well i mean it did hurt but thats just a me thing #gonna wake up tmrw or smth and turns out all of this is just a dream #i honestly dont think any of them are real #i think its all in my head #like actually #i dont even think this is real what if my life is all just fake #what if its actually a dream or a simulation or just anytiing #none of it feels right #its just too godo everything is too good #im so confused this is absolutely embarrassing #i need to be perfect he wont like me anymore if i ask #but at the same time it doesnt matter bc hes just gonna disappear one day anyways #billy wont respond n #im jsyt fucking panicking #i need to die #its just tge only way #that makes it real #grounding myself isnt working but im scared bc it eouldnt work snyways #i need someone to talk to me but i cant message anyone they will tell him #i wanna talk to adam or billy they always calm me down but theyll tell him and he will tgink im insane and leave me #i cant sleep i jsut eanna sleep but i cant #im scaredg #jamie.txt

[msperfect777]

time, thoughts & meditation

⭐️part six of the understanding consciousness & non dualism series

we know nothing is real and everything is imagination. all this is just an illusion bc its forms of consciousness (forms of you) that appear separate and have different labels but all they are is just consciousness.

1. time

time is an imaginary concept; it is unreal. time is not real. yes ego sees time and the clock as real just bc its "physical" but we already know nothing is real period. time is imaginary. when you imagine something, you experienced it instantly. theres no amount of time that will make you experience what you want. the moment you imagine / observe something, it exists instantly. theres no need for waiting. theres no such thing as a "time delay" bc time is imaginary. you are consciousness. you are not "powerful"... you are power itself. if you are going to limit yourself to an imaginary concept such as "time," then you have not realized your true nature (dont worry you will get there *wink).

there is no "past" or "future" bc there is only now. when you imagine something, you imagine it in the present, in the now. when "you" remember a memory of the past, you are doing that in the present, in the now. when "you" stress and imagine something that "you" expect to happen in the future, you imagine it in the now. every "second" is the now. there is only present, no past, no future. "past" and "future" are imaginary, unreal concepts.

2. thoughts

thoughts are from the ego and we already know from last post that ego is not real and that ego will make you think that you need to do something else after you already observed something in imagination. ego makes it harder to understand that everything is imagination. doesnt matter if ego understands or not bc either way, you are only consciousness and so is everything else.

even though thoughts and emotions arent real, your false self can still have doubts and feelings of discouragement which is normal. my advice is that when you become aware of thoughts and bad emotions, remember that you are consciousness; you are everything; you are power itself. stop and realize that you are just the observer (= consciousness / awareness) and those thoughts and feelings are never going to be real. as the observer, just observe the thoughts and feelings come and go. consciousness doesnt have opinions; consciousness doesnt categorize things as "right" or "wrong" or "up" or "down" or "green" or "purple". consciousness is neutral. ego is what categorizes things as "good" and "bad" bc ego is "logical" (which is also unreal). since you are neutral consciousness, observe the thoughts pass without judgement.

just be silent and observe. thats your true being. thats awareness. take a step back and remember ego is not the real you; those thoughts arent real and they are coming from (another unreal thing), the mind. thoughts come from the mind / ego as we already know is unreal and imaginary. so they are basically useless. they are just there for entertainment. nothing serious. part of understanding non dualism is realizing that bc none of this is real, we cannot take anything seriously bc this is all just a game that we create. step back and remember that consciousness is all you will ever be. calmly and silently observe the unreal thoughts and emotions. there is no need to fight or stop unreal things right? consciousness doesnt see those thoughts as "bad" or "annoying". they just are. step back and observe in silence.

3. meditation

when you think of meditation you may think of sitting on a mat in a calm yoga sitting position while listening to silence. in reality, meditation is just consciousness. consciousness is naturally meditation bc, as said before, consciousness is already, naturally calm and neutral w no opinions or judgements. when i tell you to mediate. you are already doing it, you already are it. effortlessly. but ego tells you otherwise and ego presents "messy thoughts" and while you werent aware of your true nature (consciousness), you take the thoughts seriously when they tell you "this is the right way to meditate" etc bc you think you are the body that is actually thinking these thoughts.

challenge (?):

we are naturally the observer. remember when i told you to sit back and observe the thoughts that ego sees as negative? why dont you try to be present and aware of whatever you are doing once in a while bc most of the time, "you" are just thinking about the past or stressing about the future. be present instead.

the video said "put 1000 focus" and "attention"... just know he means be completely aware on (for example) washing the dishes instead of being aware of thoughts and other nonsense while you are washing.

be your natural, meditation self and next time you look out the window, just silently observe the trees. observe the leaves and its stems and the lines and the green color. observe the texture of the bark without judgment. theres no reason to stop or argue with the mind and its thoughts and opinions. just observe them. remember: none of that is ever really happening; you are just observing consciousness (everything is consciousness / imagination). you are staring at yourself so theres no harm in that. stare at "your" hand and silently observe the lines and color. i like to stare at something in my room or close my eyes and silently observe the rain sounds outside in silence. its peaceful and thats pure awareness. if im walking on the street, i observe the people talking while observing the cars honking while observing the way the trees move from the wind while observing how "my" legs move while "i" walk on the street.

i observe my breathing and quiet the mind and thoughts and observe. if thoughts dont stop coming, i wouldnt fight it bc they are just unreal. they are harmless. i just observe the thoughts. with or without thoughts, i am always the observer. i observe what i want. silently observe. with the challenge as said: observe / be aware of the things happening in the present. dont get swept up by the unreal mind and unreal thoughts. calm, stress-less, limitless, silent, neutral, peaceful. thats awareness. thats you.

© msperfect777

#nondualism #nonduality #non duality #enlightenment #non dualism #consciousness #advaita #observer #spirituality #law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting