#nothing is going to line up right anymore

[sunflower-lilac42]

𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱, 𝗶'𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 | 𝘭𝘩43 ♔

➪ summary: the relationship between luke and his girlfriend is special, but the bond between his girlfriend and his brothers is adorable; or four times quinn and jack helped out their brother's girlfriend when she was in need

➪ warnings: finals (physics to be exact), hate comments, slight mentions to threats, car breaking down, slight mentions to being followed, fights, crying, asshole-ish luke

➪ word count: 3.5k

➪ file type: fic

➪ sunny's notes: welcome back to the blog, apologies for me deleting my account and coming back but anyway. I'll be posting the old fics here and there, i'm thinking about trying to get them all back before i start posting new fics. the taglist will be intact from before, but i'll only use it for the first couple of posts and then i'll probably stop using it until i start posting new fics again. i hope your guys' support will be the same or better as the last blog :)

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⟹ The One with the Finals | Quinn - Winter of 2023

The day before her physics final, y/n was in tears. There were papers not only all over her desk but on the walls and the ground as well. The whiteboard that hung in her apartment was littered with kinematics equations and a bunch of random vocabulary words that probably weren’t necessary for her final. 

More tears sprung in her eyes as she looked at her review guide, “Who the fuck knows this shit?”

Her roommates had already gone home, finishing their finals the day before so she was alone. It was almost 7 and she had been studying for six hours, maybe more. She knew she should stop and take a break, make some dinner, maybe even watch a movie, but she couldn’t, not now, not when her grade was on the line. 

She was so close, oh so close to being done but the last question was too much for her. It sent her brain into overdrive, the wires were crossed, and nothing made sense anymore, not that it ever did anyway. She let out a noise, a cross between a groan and a whine, and threw her notes down and her pencil across the room. 

She took a peak at her phone and noticed the mass amount of messages from her boyfriend, a few from her parents, and a few from Luke’s family. The boy was so worried that he made his parents and Quinn and Jack text her just to see if she would answer, but she didn’t.

Now, no offense to Jack (but offense) and no offense to Luke, but they weren’t always the brightest of the bunch. Which is why she called Quinn, tears still obviously present.

“I’m going to fail.”

“Y/n? Luke’s been calling you for hours.”

“Yes, I know. I was studying for physics, and I’ve concluded that I’m going to fail.”

Quinn sat up from where he was lying on his bed, “No, you’re not.”

She let out a sob, “I am and then I’m going to get kicked out of school and everyone’s going to make fun of me and then Luke won’t want to date me anymore and then you guys will stop talking to me-”

“Hey! Calm down, none of that is going to happen because it’s not possible, y/n/n. What’s your GPA right now?”

“A 4.0.”

Quinn laughed, “Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re fine. I promise you, but if you feel that badly about it, I’ll help you study.”

“Really?”

“No, I’m fucking with you. Of course, I’ll help you. You’re my favorite sibling after all.”

“I’m not even related to you.”

“Yet.”

Y/n sent the PDF of the review guide to Quinn, who now sat at his desk on his computer. The two talked and studied with one another before Quinn realized the lack of color in the girl’s face, “Have you eaten yet?”

Y/n looked at him and then quickly looked down shamefully, “No.”

Quinn looked like he was going to yell at her but in reality, he was just worried, and the tiniest bit frustrated with her for not taking care of herself, not that he would ever tell her that though, “Go make dinner, you can bring me with if you want. I’ll even make my own.”

“But-”

“No, you’ll think better if you eat.” That could’ve been a total lie, but she would’ve listened to him anyway.

She took her phone and computer with her, still talking to Quinn as she made some ramen - the good kind, not the crappy instant one. Quinn smiled, happy with himself for making his brother’s girlfriend - or if he had it his and Jack’s way, his sister -  take care of herself and feel better.

『••✎••』

She had just gotten done with her final and she screamed internally, walking out of the room and heading to her dorm, waiting for her family to pick her up. She called Quinn immediately after she stepped out of the building. 

“Quinn! Quinn! Quinn! Guess what?!”

Quinn had been on his way to practice when he got the phone call, “What?”

“I passed!”

Quinn smiled, “See I told you, you would.”

“Thank you!"

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⟹ The One with the Haters | Jack - Fall of 2023

It never really bothered her, and Luke always said it shouldn’t. Yet, when Luke started his rookie year and gained more attraction, so did she. They were worse than what they were before, they came in mass amounts, the words dug deeper, and everything seemed to escalate. 

This wasn’t something that should’ve burdened Luke, he had enough to deal with it being his rookie season and trying to perform as well as he could, he didn’t need to hear about his fans attacking his girlfriend as well. Luke was, let’s just say, the most oblivious of them all. So she didn’t really have to worry about him finding out about it, anyway.

However, Jack knew about her mood changes. Every time she visited the two in New Jersey, she distanced herself from them, she took notice of who was around them when they went out and strategically sat next to Luke so people wouldn’t make accusations of her favoring Jack over him but not too close to him that it would seem like she’s attached and overbearing him.

He also took notice of the comments on his brother’s Instagram posts or whenever the wags would post y/n at a game. 

‘He’s too good for her.’

‘Why does she even come? It’s obvious he doesn’t want her there, he doesn’t even play well when she’s there.’

‘She’s just using him.’

‘I don’t know what he sees in her.’

‘She’s not that pretty.’

Those barely scratched the surface of the comments. There were more, most about her looks and another good chunk of them just saying how the two didn’t make sense together. But the ones that hurt the worst, were the ones that came up once or twice in every ten posts. The ones that were about her using him, the ones that made threats to her and her family. The ones claiming that they knew everything about her life. The ones that said she was cheating on Luke with Jack or Quinn.

Jack had his fair share of hate comments, many of which he remembered from his rookie season. He knew how it felt to have someone close to him be praised so much and then be torn down for simply having a relationship with them and not being as good. 

The Devils were visiting Detroit near the late end of November and y/n decided to go to the game, hanging out with them the two days that they flew down early to be with her before the game. They were out at a restaurant and y/n was sitting in the very corner of the booth that they got.

Luke sat down next to her as Jack slid into the booth across from them, still bantering with his brother. Luke was oblivious to the distance between him and y/n, shrugging it off as if she was just hot despite the temperature outside. Luke and Jack continued to talk about the game, stopping for the waiter to take their order who just so happened to be a fan of the Devils. Y/n rolled her eyes as she subtly flittered with her boyfriend, giving Jack a look. 

The waiter walked away and Luke got up and left to the bathroom, “So when are you going to tell him? Or are you waiting for him to figure it out by himself?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Y/n dug her face into the menu, avoiding eye contact with Jack.

“Uh huh, sure. Then what are these?” Jack showed the girl his phone, comments from Luke’s most recent post showing. 

“Jack.”

“Y/n.”

“There’s not much he can do about it anyways, they’ll keep doing it no matter what. Besides, they’re not wrong.”

“He has a right to know and no, nothing they say is true. You are Luke’s world and he will defend you until he dies. If someone is threatening you, which there is, he will find a way to stop it. And Quinn and I will help too. We want you safe.” Jack reached over the table to pat her shoulder. 

She nodded, “Just talk to him. Okay?”

『••✎••』

Later that night, Luke was in bed with y/n, both of them on their phones. Luke was playing a game and y/n was on Instagram. She hadn’t actively searched out the comments but when she saw a post of her with 200 comments under it, she had to look, and they weren’t all that different from what she was expecting. 

“Luke?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course, what’s up?”

“Have you seen the comments?”

“What comments?”

“These.” She handed Luke her phone and watched as he scrolled through them, and before he could say anything, she took it back and showed him her DM’s. 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We could’ve done something to stop this.” She just shrugged.

“Sweetheart, this is scary. I don't want you to have to endure this by yourself.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine.”

“But you’re not. I know everyone thinks I’m oblivious, and yes, sometimes I am, but I can see you’re hurting and you have been for a while. I might not have known why or how but I was so worried about you, okay? I’m going to do everything I can to stop this.”

Luke placed his hands on her face and she wrapped her hands around his wrists. His thumbs lightly rubbed over her face, just under her eye, as hers rubbed up and down his hands, stopping at his knuckles to rub over them as well. She smiled slightly at him but was still worried about everything that was going on. 

“Hey,” Luke made her look up at him. “Everything is going to work out, no matter how long or how much it’s gonna take. I’m going to get Quinn and Jack to help, I’ll have the team help as well. We’re all going to help to make sure you and your family are safe. I promise.”

She nods, “Okay.”

He kissed her forehead before her lips and pulled back to smile at her. 

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⟹ The One with the Car | Quinn + Jack - Summer of 2023

Despite dating for three years, y/n was never really the biggest fan of letting Luke help her, she wasn’t the biggest fan of anyone helping her, to be honest. That’s why when she was in the middle of nowhere, scared out of her mind and not thinking straight, she hesitated to call her boyfriend. 

It was the summer, she had been visiting the Hughes family at the lake house and she had gone to get some food for dinner for her, Quinn, and Jack. She wasn’t lost per se, when she left she knew how to get back home, she had been there countless times before. Yet, she felt as if she was being followed and that scared her, causing her to go a different route home, one she wasn’t that familiar with, and even then she sort of knew where she was. 

The car was still following her so she decided to start taking random turns here and there and when she did the trick she was taught, take four right turns, they left after the first one. She let out a deep breath and continued to drive, just to see if they would pop up again, but they didn’t and now she was in the middle of nowhere, with an almost empty tank of gas. 

Back at the lake house, Quinn, and Jack sat in the living room. Ellen, Jim, and Luke decided to go out for dinner to a fancy restaurant, and the whole nine yards, the other three weren’t bothered to even move from their seats. In hindsight, should they have just gotten Uber Eats or DoorDash, yes, but y/n wanted to get out of the house, just to a certain extent.

She didn’t want to interrupt her boyfriend’s time with his parents so she called Quinn, voice wavering, “Quinn.”

“Hey, y/n. Where are you? We thought you would be back by now.”

“About that. I’m sort of in the middle of nowhere and there was this car that was following but they stopped but I also don’t know if they just left and are coming back because they knew I was onto them-”

“Hey, calm down. Send me your location, Jack and I are on our way. Keep us on the phone and if you see them come back just start driving.”

“I’m almost out of gas.”

“We’ll hurry, just keep a lookout, okay?”

Five minutes passed and the boys were almost already halfway there, speeding the whole way as much as possible. She looked up and in the rearview mirror, there were headlights, “Guys? Is that you?”

Jack and Quinn looked at each other in confusion, “No?”

“Well, shit.” Y/n turned her car on and immediately pressed on the gas.

The car didn’t follow her, simply turned on the street behind where her car had been, but she didn’t know that, so she kept driving until her car was out of gas, “I’m out of gas.”

“We’re almost there, you should see us, right… about… now.” She looked up and saw them, easily recognizing the car. She got out of the car and practically ran to them. 

Quinn hugged her back when her arms wrapped around him, “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did anyone follow you?”

She shook her head, “I’m fine, just still a little spooked.”

Jack stood off to the side and only now had y/n just noticed, “Hi Jack.” She looked at him tentatively. Contrary to her belief, Jack loved hugs, especially y/n’s hugs. She always thought differently, so she always hesitated to hug him. 

Yet, when he opened his arms, she ran into them just as she did with his older brother, “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Always.”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⟹ The One with the Fight | Quinn + Jack - Sophomore Year

“I just don’t understand, Luke.”

“Of course, you don’t you never do!”

They had been arguing on and off all day, everything the other person did set them off, it was hours of pointless and petty arguing. Realistically, they both had been in the wrong, but Luke screwed up the most. It was when they both found out that he would be going to Jersey. 

She had scheduled plans with friends earlier that week, but she would’ve dropped everything to hang out with Luke and help him pack. She offered to do that but Luke declined, saying he could handle it and he wanted her to go out and have fun with her friends. Truthfully, they had been spending almost every waking moment together since they knew.

“You were the one that told me to go hang out with them! I offered to help you and stay with you, but you declined!”

“I never said that.”

Y/n gave him a look that said all the different, “You’re such a fucking liar.”

“Oh, I’m the liar?”

“Yes!” 

“If you loved me, you would’ve stayed back, anyways. And you know what? I’m done with this conversation. Don’t wait up.” Luke took his duffle bag and suitcase and left y/n’s dorm. 

She stared at the door as it slammed practically in her face. The silence was deafening in the room, you could hear the barking of dogs and horns blaring from outside. If you listened hard enough you could hear the wind slapping against the window. 

For two minutes she stood there, staring at the door, body still and her hair blowing from the AC. She snapped out of her trance when she felt a lone tear roll down her face. Since then, it was one after another and she ran to grab her phone from her nightstand dialing Jack’s number.

Jack answered confused, “Hello?”

“I think Luke might be on his way to Jersey.”

“But he’s not supposed to leave yet.”

“We got into a fight and he sort of-” She choked on a sob, “stormed out of here with his duffle and suitcase.”

“What do you mean you guys got into a fight? You guys never fight.”

“Yeah well ‘never’ is a fucking stupid word. And this is totally not the point of this phone call, Jack. Can you just make sure he’s okay? I don’t want him getting hurt or anything.”

“Luke’s a big boy and if he decided to come here on a whim then he can handle it. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Tears still were streaming down her face and she picked at her nails as she slid down the wall, landing on the floor. 

“What happened, y/n/n?”

“It was stupid, it was my fault.”

“You’re lying.”

“How would you know?”

“Your voice is more intense when you lie because you try to convince everyone you’re right by sounding more confident.”

“So why do you know that and not Luke?” She bawled to the older boy, placing her head in her hands, the phone dropping from her grasp.

“Y/n? Y/n!” Jack tried to gain her attention but failed, causing him to add Quinn to the call.

“Jack? Y/n? What’s up?”

“Y/n answer us.”

“What’s going on?”

“Y/n! Come on, please answer.”

“I’m sorry, I dropped my phone.”

“Can someone please explain to me what is going on? And where is Luke?”

“Luke fucked up is what’s going on,” Jack said, annoyed.

Y/n now sat against her bed and her phone propped up on the wall, switching to FaceTime, “We got into a fight.”

“You guys never fight.”

“Yes, I’m aware, now can we move on from that fact because it happened and it’s over with.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“He was mad because he’s supposed to be leaving soon and I went out with my friends after I had already offered to stay back and help him pack and everything like that but he said no. So, he’s right, it is my fault. If I loved him, I would’ve stayed.”

There was a simultaneous silence from the boys before a loud, “He said that?!”

“Yeah? Why? Is he right? I knew he was right.”

“No, no, no of course not. He’s not right. He’s a fucking dick for saying that.”

“But I should’ve stayed with him, he’s leaving soon.” She sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeve.

“Y/n/n, listen to me right now. Nothing you did tonight was your fault. Maybe something that we don’t know that happened you did, but what he said… you didn’t deserve that. He knows how much you love him and if he stooped that low to make you feel bad, then maybe he should take some time to cool off. I’m not saying that he should’ve left the way he did, but maybe some space is good.” Quinn explained to her.

She nodded but tears were still falling, “Do you think he’s going to break up with me? I mean, he’s going to go off and be in the NHL and I’m just going to be me. I’m nothing special.”

Jack and Quinn made eye contact through the phone and Jack went to say something but was interrupted, “You’re everything to me.” 

She snapped her head to the door and saw Luke standing there, his bag falling to the ground. She stood up quickly, wiping her face rid of any signs of her crying, “Luke.”

“How could you say that about yourself?”

Quinn and Jack hung up the phone, not wanting to interrupt their conversation despite them wanting to be there just in case he said something out of line. Luke wrapped his arms around the girl, “You are the most amazing person ever. I’m so sorry if I made you feel any differently.”

Y/n just shrugged, not bothered by that but more so the fight itself. Luke pulled back, saddened slightly by the lack of reciprocation in the affection, “And I am so sorry for what I said. I know you love me and I know I said you could hang out with your friends. I think just deep down I thought you would’ve stayed anyways and I was scared of leaving you.”

Y/n nodded and Luke’s hands went to her cheeks, wiping off the remnants of her mascara, “I understand, Luke. I just wish you would’ve handled it more like an adult than a teenager.”

“And I can’t even begin to explain how horrible I feel about that.”

“Can we just cuddle?”

“Anything you want.”

The two laid in better for a little while as they hadn’t wanted to do anything else. An hour later, y/n spoke, “I forgive you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do. Emotions were high and I know that shouldn’t be the way we should handle things but we’re both stressed and you’re leaving soon I just want to forget about it.” Luke nodded, wanting to respect her wishes, “I love you, Lukey.”

“I love you.”

⬂ 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗝𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲𝘆 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗹𝘀 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ⬂

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[fastandcarlos]

Almost Lost You : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc

summary: things have been frosty between the two of you for some time, but when everything turns upside down, is charles really willing to lose you as a result of it all?

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

“Where are you going?” You shouted across at Charles, finding yourself looking in disbelief as he began to pick up the red bag that was on the arm of the sofa, throwing the strap over his shoulder. “Are you seriously leaving right now?”

As you spoke again, Charles’ head snapped around to look at you, his shoulders dropping as he let go of a sigh. “I think it’s for the best if we just have a bit of space, I’ll see you down at the track.”

Truthfully neither of you could even remember what it was that you were fighting about anymore, you’d barely seen each other for weeks and the tension was building. What you had hoped would be a happy reunion had become a weekend of nightmares for you both. You were training in two separate countries, counting down the days until you could see each other again, and now it felt like Charles couldn’t get away from you quick enough.

“Have a good race,” he told you as he picked up his keys from the worktop.

The lack of emotion in his voice sent a shiver down your spine, “that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me all weekend,” you soon found yourself muttering under your breath.

“What was that?” Charles questioned as he passed you by.

Your head shook as you heard the door to your apartment open.

“Nothing.”

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Your hand quickly grabbed at the wheel once again as you felt yourself going slightly wide into the turn, rushing to steady the car. Down the radio you could hear the frustrations of your team as yet again you found yourself on the verge of sending the car into the barriers.

“Y/N, get your head in the game,” you heard Tom, your race engineer tell you.

You didn’t give him a reply as you concentrated on what was ahead, knowing that you’d need another flying lap to be in with a chance of qualifying for Q3. You took things a little slower as you approached the start line, giving yourself a couple of laps to find yourself again.

“The tyres are pretty worn now, this is going to take a mammoth effort from you to qualify with how you’ve been driving so far this weekend,” Tom warned you as you left him know that you were ready to go.

“I can do it,” you assured him.

If you listened closely enough, you were sure you could hear a faint chuckle in the background of your radio. “Good luck.”

You found yourself with your foot down hard as you went over the start line, teeth gritted and hands firmly on the wheel, determined to silence anyone who doubted you back in the garage. Your lap started well, the corners that had proven tricky throughout the weekend were finally working with you instead of against you, with no other cars in the way to stop you reaching your target.

Back in the garage the excitement was starting to build, your team had begun to worry that something wasn’t quite right throughout your weekend, but now the pieces started to seem like they were fitting together. You didn’t dare tell anyone about your troubles with Charles, half of your team weren’t exactly approving of your decision to date a driver that drove for one of your closest rivals. Did you let that affect you? Of course not. You loved Charles. And he loved you. You thought.

“Damn.”

Silence descended amongst the garage in a split second, all hope was lost as several pairs of hands smacked onto people’s faces.

“Y/N? Y/N?” Tom yelled down the radio, “Y/N are you alright?”

The cameras tried their hardest to show something, but you found yourself in a car that was surrounded by smoke. In the blink of an eye you found yourself staring at the blue of the barrier at the side of the track, heart racing as pain scorched through your body.

Everything had been going so well until you found yourself going over a loose bit of debris over the track, cursing the stewards who must have missed it, your back wheel jammed over it leaving you with no control. The last thing you remembered was skidding over the gravel, scrunching your eyes shut as you found yourself going round and round before bracing for the impact of the almighty bang.

“Y/N, you good?” Tom repeated, still awaiting a response from you.

“I-I think so,” you stuttered, finding yourself unable to move, greeted by pain that you had never experienced before.

“Medical is on the way.”

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Back in the garage of Ferrari, a chorus of groans had captured Charles’ attention as he sat in his car letting his team know exactly what he needed from them in order to support him into Q3.

“What happened?” He asked around, unable to quite see through his visor towards the small television screen that was up in the corner of the garage.

Around him everyone met each others glances, no one wanted to be the one to break the news to Charles. They knew how much he adored you, how protective he was of you, and this would have tipped him over the edge. Luckily for them all though, Fred took a step towards the car and knelt down next to Charles. His presence was enough for Charles to know that something serious had clearly happened, removing his helmet out of respect for his boss.

“There’s been a pretty bad crash,” Fred began to tell him, watching as Charles nodded in reply, managing to figure that out all for himself. “The person involved has told their team they’re alright.”

“Who was involved?” Charles pushed as he watched the smoke on the screen start to disappear, the colours of the bar starting to emerge through the gaps.

“I’m sorry,” Fred whispered.

Charles didn’t need Fred to say anymore as the orange colours of your car became clear, your race number printed against the side of your car clear as day.

“Y/N.”

As Charles looked around the room, no one quite knew the right thing to say. He needed a moment to process, his eyes glued to the screen willing for you to get out of the car. There was no sign of movement from your car, filling Charles with dread. Perhaps things hadn’t been the best between you recently, but that never stopped him loving, caring, about you. The longer that time seemed to pass the more that Charles began to worry. Were you really okay? Was someone out there just trying to protect him?

“We’ll keep you updated throughout Q3 if we hear anything,” a voice suddenly told him, snapping Charles out of his daydream.

“You think I’m going out there?” He gasped in disbelief, shaking his head at the engineer beside hi.

“Charles, the car is super fast, pole is yours for the taking. You can’t let us down now, work has to come first,” he pleaded with him.

The engineer’s words struck a cord with Charles, the penny dropped as he realised what was going on around him. All this time work had been his priority, he had barely given you the time of day for so long all that he cared about was getting that car over the line first, no matter who he hurt along the way.

“I can’t do it.”

“You have to do it.”

“No. No I don’t,” Charles adamantly told them all, the sharp raise of his voice taking many by surprise. “Driving this car isn’t most important right now, making sure that Y/N is alright is.”

With that, Charles took the wheel off of his car, beginning to climb out of it. He could feel the disappointment of his team around him engulfing him, but he didn’t care. He could apologise for disappointing them one day, but right now he was holding onto the chance that he would be able to fix things with you.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

“Are you alright?” The paramedic asked you, leaning over to make sure that you were strapped onto the bed securely.

The corners of your smile turned up slightly, “I’m as comfy as I can be having just gone over 200mph into a barrier.”

“I see you’ve still got your sense of humour,” he chuckled in response.

Your hands gripped either side of the bed as you felt the two paramedics begin to push you towards the ambulance that was waiting to take you away. Getting you out of the car was a much tougher job than anyone had imagined, the damage on your car was extensive, but nothing was more hurt than your pride. Every driver had crashed, most multiple times, but that never stopped you feeling as if you weren’t good enough.

Your body jolted as you were wheeled over the gravel, hearing several apologies come from the two men either side of you. You insisted that it was alright, biting down on your bottom lip to mask the throbbing that was taking it out of you all over your body.

“Wait!” A voice screeched across as you began to be raised up into the ambulance. “Don’t shut that door yet!”

You were far too sore to lift your head up to see who was making the noise, but you knew. You could almost feel your heart skip a beat as a familiar voice called out.

“Y/N?”

“Sir, are you alright?” One of the paramedics questioned, watching in confusion as a figure ran across the track in order to try and get to them before they shut the door.

“She’s my girlfriend, I just want to make sure that she’s alright.” Charles told them.

The paramedic looked down at you, nodding as you nodded back at him too, silently assuring him that it was alright, that Charles was with you.

As soon as he got silent permission from the paramedic, Charles took a hold of your hand, getting to look at you for the first time. You were pretty cut up and bruised, the sharp intake of breath that came from him as he studied you was enough to confirm that for you.

“Are you alright,” he whispered, brushing his fingertips gently over the back of your hand, treating you like the most fragile thing in the world.

Your head shook in reply to him, “everything hurts.”

“Oh baby.”

You had tried your hardest to hold back any sort of emotion since the moment you lost control, but as soon as you found Charles by your side, you couldn’t keep it together any longer. Before you knew it Charles’ spare hand was underneath your eyes to wipe away the tears that were falling. All that you had bubbled up from the race, the arguments, the fear of where things were going had finally reached the surface. And it killed Charles too.

“You’re in safe hands,” he whispered down to you, brushing your hair out of your face when he found a second to move away from your eyes. “You’re gonna be alright.”

“I’m sorry.”

Your words cut through Charles like a knife, reality there to smack him in the face. What did you have to be sorry for? You were both responsible but Charles knew he had been so much worse.

“What have you got to be sorry for?”

“Everything,” you murmured, your voice shaky and unsteady, “but most of all being stupid enough to crash.”

The two of you were so lost in yourselves you had failed to realise that the ambulance was now shut and you were on your way to the hospital to get yourself checked out. On the other side of the vehicle Charles knew there would be many men dressed in red unhappy with him, but if he was honest, he just didn’t care.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Charles assured you, leaning down to press a kiss against the top of your head, “you couldn’t help what happened out there.”

“It’s not just what happened out there Charles.”

“We’ve not been in a good place, right?”

Your head nodded in agreement, pain still etched upon your face as you found yourself wriggling ever so slightly in an attempt to make yourself comfortable. Charles moved straight away, offering himself to try and help you settle again.

“Let’s not worry about that for now, let’s just see what’s going on with you.”

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

After several hours in the hospital, specialists, doctors, friends all visiting you, you were finally starting your journey to mend. You had a fair few bruises, a fracture in your wrist but most of all you had a huge dent to your confidence which you knew you would get over.

Throughout it all, Charles never left your side, listening intently to everything that everyone had to say in order to know what he could do to look after you. Carlos had popped by and brought Charles something more comfortable to wear and the reassurance that the majority of the garage understood why he had chosen to do what he did.

And now you found yourselves alone.

The tension was nowhere near as bad as it was when the two of you woke in your hotel room that morning but you both knew there was plenty still to talk about. You pushed your body up on the bed so that you were sat up, feeling Charles press his hand to your back to make you lean forwards and placing a cushion behind you to rest on.

“Are you alright?” Charles asked as he pulled his chair closer towards you.

“I’ll get there,” you lightly joked, offering him a smile. “I’m alright.”

Your voice sounded convincing, but Charles knew you better than that. “I was so worried back in that garage, I really thought there was a chance that I was going to lose you.”

“I thought I was going to lose you too,” you suddenly admitted, taking Charles by surprise. “When you walked out this morning I thought maybe you’d given up.”

Charles’ head shook straight away, shuffling even further forwards and taking a hold of your hand. He went to speak but his breath was trapped in disbelief. The thought of walking out the door and not returning had never even crossed Charles’ mind no matter how angry he got. Knowing that that was what you thought he would do tore him apart, there was no chance that he was ever going to give up on you so easily.

“I love you,” he reminded you, saying those three little words that he knew meant the most to you. “I’m sorry that I’ve been such a horrible boyfriend recently.”

“You haven’t-“

“-I have,” he interrupted, “you don’t need to make me feel better y/n.”

“Maybe we’ve both been a bit neglectful,” you suggested, refusing to let Charles take all the blame for what had happened.

You’d both been so wrapped up in work and making sure that you were on top that you’d forgotten all about the people that had helped you get there. You were each others biggest fans, even if you didn’t always show it.

“You know, there’s one good thing about all of this,” Charles mumbled, pressing a kiss against the top of your head. “Now that you’re injured I’ve got the perfect excuse to look after you and be a proper boyfriend to you.”

“Charles, you’ve always been a good boyfriend to me,” you corrected.

Charles laughed back at you, the familiar sound that you had missed so much.

“I’ll be an even better boyfriend then,” he smirked, standing up from where he sat and moving to the edge of your bed.

You shuffled across so that there was enough space for Charles to sit himself as close to you as he possibly could. It was the closest the two of you had been together for quite some time, and admittedly, you absolutely loved it.

“I love you,” he smiled, gently nudging against your side, “I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me,” you replied, bumping him back too, “I love you too.”

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

#f1 #f1 imagine #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 reaction #f1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x you #formula one imagine #formula one #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine

[chaconnehoonie]

Obsession-(follow up) L.HS

✶ Heeseung X Fem! Reader

->This is a follow up to the first part, but you may read it alone if you please, reading the first part is just recommended to get the full story.

Synopsis- Your relationship with Heeseung proves that sometimes you’re forced to make commitments and sacrifices for those you love.

WC: 3.4k

Warnings: toxic relationship, cursing, insecurity, derogatory terms, smut, angst

Smut warnings: dub-con(?), oral(m) somnophilia, kissing, unprotected sex, spanking, rough sex, orgasm denial

A/N: I know I posted the first part to this a while ago but I felt so disappointed with it that I wanted to write something to follow up with. I’m also terrible with my writing schedule so hopefully this will get me back in the game, enjoy!

This is fiction and the scenarios are completely fake and from my brain, none of the characters are like this in real life, MDNI!

Heeseung was trying to be a good boyfriend. Sure, there are moments where he frustrates you or makes you question your relationship. But relationships are all about making commitments, right?

You’re committed to Heeseung- of course you’ll do whatever it takes to be with him. You’ll put up with his mood swings or his trust issues, accepting that he may just be a naturally jealous person.

He makes it hard, though, as he’s too jealous sometimes. He always has trouble believing you only have eyes for him, whether it’s when a stranger is checking you out at a party or you’re being too close for his liking with your best friends—who just so happen to be guys.

God, you love your friends, but it’s clear that Heeseung doesn’t. You don’t expect him to, of course, however you expect him to accept your close bonds with all three of them. They were existent in your life before him, after all.

You can’t bring this up around him though, as he gets quiet each time, stuck in his thoughts and fears of you leaving him. Being the understanding girlfriend you are, you decided to show him just how special he is to you.

✶.

Heeseung sits alone on the couch in your living room, mindlessly scrolling through Netflix in search for new movies or series to start. Since the beginning of your relationship, you both decided on having movie nights every Friday; cuddling up on the couch together with a warm blanket and a plethora of snacks.

You haven’t come home yet, sending him a quick message to let him know you’d be stopping by a grocery store for snacks, then you’ll speed home to see him.

He sits there and waits, grabbing a bag of chips to munch on, watches trailers for new horror movies with stupid plots and terrible actors, then waits some more.

What’s taking you so long? It’s not like you would stand him up, it’s not like you can stand him up—he’s in your house, anyways. Maybe the checkout line is taking too long. Maybe you stopped to buy some alcohol too, or what if that’s what you were planning but forgot your ID in the car?

What if he’s actually going the wrong rout and you had gotten into an accident? Or decided you didn’t like him anymore and wanted to sneak off with someone else before seeing him tonight- “Baby?”

Heeseung jumps at the sound of your voice, quickly turning around to see you shutting the front door, hanging your keys and slipping off your shoes. He had been so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t even hear the front door opening.

Your face holds a concerned look, rounding the couch and placing your bags next to Heeseung before dropping to your knees in front of him. “You okay? What happened?” Your hands gently caressed his knees in hopes to comfort him, knowing he’s a sucker for physical touch.

He only shakes his head and pulls you to sit next to him. “Nothing, pretty. I just really missed you.” His voice sounds unsure, but you decided to accept his answer, knowing he hates being pushed to open up.

“I missed you too, cutie. I actually bought something I want to show you.” You peck his nose and his eyes light up in excitement. “I need to go prepare it in my room, but I’ll be back out before you know it.” You smile at him and he nods quickly. “I have to use the bathroom anyways. Perfect timing, I guess.”

You place a soft kiss on his upper lip before grabbing one of your bags and rushing upstairs while Heeseung makes his way to the bathroom. He takes a long look at himself, analyzing his features and taking note of how much better he’s been looking since he’s gotten with you. He’s taken care of himself more, focusing on eating healthier and getting haircuts more often, as well as doing some skincare and shaving his facial hair.

He really feels better with you, smiling to himself in the mirror when he realizes that he’s truly in love with you. He loves you—and he hopes you feel the same way.

After flushing the toilet and leaving the tap running for a minute, Heeseung makes his way out of the bathroom, pausing when he sees you wrapped up in your blanket, waiting for him on the couch.

Walking up hesitantly, he smiles anxiously at you. “What did you wanna-“ he’s cut off when you throw the blanket off of yourself, sat prettily with the most delicate lingerie adorning your body.

Black lace cups your breasts with thin straps hardly covering your shoulders, matching black lace panties sitting high and tight on your hips as the fat of your hips and butt jut out around the material.

Heeseung stands in front of you stiffly, mouth hung open and eyes locked on your figure. Siting up, you reach a hand towards his face and place it under his chin, gently forcing his jaw shut.

“Do you like it?” Your voice is soft and sultry, provoking him to finally touch you. He strokes your head, feeling your soft hair under his fingertips. He’s so in love with you— just that touch sends blood straight to the weight between his legs and he’s suddenly too weak to stand.

Sitting on the couch, he pulls you onto his lap without breaking eye contact. “I’ll take that as a yes.” You giggle and cup his cheek, pulling him into a kiss that only lasts a second as he’s murmuring against your lips. “Yes- fuck, yes.”

You gasp when he pinches one of your nipples through your thin lacy bra. Pushing his tongue into your mouth, he plays with your own in a mess of drool and moans, all while rocking your hips against his.

He pulls away to moan loudly, resting his head on the back of the couch. “I’m glad you like it.” You kiss his neck, licking his jaw slowly before sucking a mark into his skin.

“The boys helped me pick it out.”

His eyes shoot open at this, quickly sitting up and looking you in the eyes. “The boys?” He furrows his brows, confused, but also hurt. You let the boys-Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon, not only see you in lingerie but pick it out? For your boyfriend to see later on?

“What do you mean they helped you pick it out? Like you went to the store together and let them chose it? They seen you in it?” He sounds like he’s going to cry, voice cracking but there’s also a hint of anger.

You nod, eyes wide and worried. “Well, yes. I asked for their opinions because they’re also guys, you know? I thought that’d be the best way to figure out what you’d like…” you trail off as you take note of the irritation appearing on his face.

He finds no point in complaining, no reason to explain why he’s so hurt. Instead, he pushes you off of his lap rather harshly and you land on the soft cushions with a quiet ‘oof’. Of course he didn’t mean to be so aggressive, but with the way he stomps to the front door and angrily grabs his keys, slamming the door shut as he leaves, you can’t help but tear up at his angry demeanor.

Was he really that upset? Over your friends helping pick out a gift, for him? Sure, maybe you didn’t have to wear the lingerie while showing them but Heeseung should know by now that your relationship with your friends is nothing more than platonic.

Deciding you’re too heart broken after being left so alone and exposed, you head to bed early. Well, not exactly early if 11pm was anything to go by, definitely too late for Heeseung to randomly leave and expect you not to worry, but early enough for you to sleep off the mental pain and end up in a better mood in the morning.

✶.

You wake up as an odd weight hits your cheek, repeatedly tapping on your face as you feel the warmth radiating onto your skin. Your eyes open slowly, blinking a few times to fully wake yourself up.

It’s still dark, but you can make out the silhouette of someone standing uncomfortably close to you. Taking in a sharp breath, you turn to your alarm clock and note that it’s around 2am, quickly reaching to turn on the bedside lamp.

The light flickers on and Heeseung groans, quickly reaching his own hand to switch it back off. While he does that, you notice the way he’s fully clothed, save for his hard-on that’s currently face-to-face with you, peeking out from above his sweatpants.

“What-“ you’re cut off as he places a finger upon your lips, slipping it between them and into your mouth to tug your jaw open. You can’t tell what he’s doing with the lights off, but you don’t wonder for long as you suddenly feel his tip entering your mouth, sliding against your tongue.

You’re stiff, laying there in shock as he uses your mouth for his own pleasure, biting his lip with a groan. Heeseung has grown to be more comfortable around you, no longer trying to impress you in order to get you to like him, yet instead trying to impress you to get you to keep liking him—always outdoing himself to prove he’s worth your love.

However, he’s still shy at times, especially intimate times, so seeing him fully take control of you, take advantage of your sleeping figure, is new to you. It’s kind of arousing, but after what happened earlier you just can’t get yourself to enjoy it.

Especially with the way he grips the back of your head and shoves himself fully into your throat, holding you there until you gag and drool onto the ground. The position is awkward; he’s standing in front of you while you’re laying on your side, head hovering off the bed just enough to miss the sheets as your spit strings onto the wooden floor.

He lets out a deep moan, mumbling to himself about how wet and warm your mouth is, but not directly speaking to you. How could he speak to you after what you pulled earlier? Why would you deserve praise for going out and prancing around like that with your friends, basically slutting yourself out for them?

What you do deserve is the harsh thrusts of his hips as he fucks your mouth, pulling your hair harshly as he keeps your head in place while his cock suffocates you. You try to breathe through your nose, but you only choke and whine around him as tears blur your vision, not like you can see much in the dark, anyways.

He groans louder, thrusts harder, grips harder, all while you lay there and take it. He lets out a particularly loud moan as he pulls your head towards him, shoving your face far enough to touch your nose to his pubic bone, and then he’s cumming down your throat.

His hips are still as he twirls strands of your hair between his fingers, holding you in place as his release fills your mouth.

Finally pulling out, he breathes heavily before stuffing himself back into his sweats. He makes his way to the bathroom, situating himself before coming back to bed and wrapping an arm around you, pulling you close enough to be his little spoon. It confuses you, but you’d rather have this than have him stay angry at you.

“Thank you, pretty.”

✶.

The next day goes by smoothly, Heeseung acts completely normal when he goes to work for a couple hours, then coming home as you prepare lunch.

You’re glad he has work early enough for him to be done by the afternoon, but sometimes you wish he could stay in bed with you just a little longer than leaving at 5am, but at least he gets to come back at 1pm and spend the rest of the day how he pleases. You quickly learn though, that today he decides to use the day as he pleases by pleasing himself.

As you put ramen to boil and chop vegetables, humming a random song to yourself, you hear the front door shut. It doesn’t slam, so you know Heeseung isn’t angry, at least not enough to show it.

He walks up behind you, grabbing onto your waist and you smile, turning around for a kiss. He grips your chin, turning your face back to the counter and speaks lowly in your ear. “Keep chopping.” His voice is stern and you know he’s serious.

You hesitantly pick up the knife again, slowly cutting the vegetables as he pulls down your pants, panties going along with them, leaving you bare and exposed for him. It was only last night he was using you for himself, maybe he’s repaying the favor?

That idea is quickly shut down as you feel his tip prodding at your not very wet entrance, wincing at the stretch of the head doing its best to make its way between your folds. Of course you’ve both have had sex without foreplay before, but that was after a while of kissing and obvious arousal.

This time, he fills you up dry with only his precum coating your walls. You whine at the pain, stepping closer to the counter in an attempt to get away from him, but he only manhandles you back towards him.

Pulling out to the tip, he gives you a second to breathe before he pushes himself all the way back in, continuing with rough thrusts. He lands a loud slap to your ass, leaning forward and biting onto your shoulder. You cry out in pain, trying to take his cock the best you can while he uses you once again.

He’s fucking you, skin to skin, so that must mean he’s not upset anymore. You try to convince yourself as he thrusts harder, hands bruising your waist and hips as his knuckles turn white from holding you so tight.

He’s more vocal this time, moaning into your ear as you bounce between him and the counter top, knife now laying further away from you and vegetables roll off the counter, landing with a hard thud on the floor.

You moan as he picks up the pace almost inhumanly fast, wet sounds showing signs that you’re finally aroused enough, the slide of his cock against your walls is no longer painful.

He pushes your upper half forward more, fully bending you over the counter as he lands a harsh slap against your ass, echoing through the kitchen along with your high pitched moans.

His thighs slap against the back of your own, wet and covered in slick as you can’t hold back the squelching noises your pussy makes while being stuffed full.

“Oh God, Hee…” You whine but he’s tired of hearing you, placing his palm over your mouth to muffle your moans. “I don’t wanna hear it.” This confuses you, mainly because he’s always loved hearing your noises—proof that he’s pleasing you right. But now, he suddenly doesn’t want to hear them? Going as far as covering your mouth to shut you up?

Even with this hurt side of you, the pleasure is undeniable and before you can process it, you’re close to orgasm as Heeseung lands another harsh slap against your ass.

“Hee-baby, I’m gonna cum!” You pant heavily, inhaling a deep breath in preparation for your orgasm, only for it to be taken away from you. “No you’re not.” Heeseung slides his wet cock out of you, instead spreading your ass and pushing himself between your cheeks.

You scoff, now frustrated and in pain, wondering if this is what blue balls must feel like. You try to reach back and slide him back in, but he grips your wrist, pulling both of your arms back so your cheek lands harshly onto the counter top. Wincing, tears start pricking your eyes and you try to squirm away from him.

“Not letting you…d-don’t deserve to cum.” He grits through his teeth, pushing your butt cheeks together tightly as he thrusts, still keeping his fast pace.

Leaning forward, he rests his forehead between your shoulder blades, finally releasing as ropes of cum spurt out of his tip, landing across your back and staining your shirt, some reaching your hair to find in a sticky mess later.

You’re both panting, catching your breaths after whatever kind of rough, angry sex session that was. Still confused, you try to turn around, calling out to your quiet boyfriend. “Heeseung…” your voice is soft and comforting, and as much as he wants to accept it, he just keeps you turned around.

“Just- don’t.” That’s all he says before tucking himself back into his jeans and walking upstairs. The bathroom door shuts, still not slamming, but you can now tell that he is definitely still angry at you.

✶.

“So, what? He’s upset that we helped you and now you guys are having hot steamy hate sex?” Jake laughs to himself, taking a bowl of ramen from Sunghoon. A bowl of ramen you cooked for Heeseung.

You sigh, playing with your own ramen as you push it around the bowl with your chopsticks. “Yeah…I was cooking this when he came home and he just…did that.” You trail off at the end, not wanting to go into detail because no matter how good it felt, you were still hurt.

“Waitwaitwait.” Jay mutters with his mouth full, swallowing harshly before speaking again. “This ramen doesn’t have a special ingredient, right? His cum shot didn’t fly into here and now I’m consuming his babies?”

“Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Come on- I’m trying to eat here!”

“You’re actually disgusting.”

Sunghoon gags as he imagines the scene playing out, downing his glass of water to calm himself. You pat him on the back as he keeps gagging, mainly to piss off Jay who now regrets what he said.

“Okay, Hoon. You can stop now, I get it.” Jay rolls his eyes, picking up his beer bottle and taking a sip while sending glares towards his friend.

Your face drops to your palms, sighing again as you think about these past two days. “He left like an hour before I invited you guys over.” You speak up, eyes teary as you bite your lip. “He didn’t eat…didn’t say goodbye…he just left.” You break down, a sob escaping your lips at the thought of your boyfriend leaving you so alone and embarrassed.

“Do you know what this means?” Sunghoon places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly to ease your tension. You shake your head no, confused as to what he’s implying.

He sighs, looking between Jake and Jay, then back at you. “This means you’re going to have to choose.” Your eyes widen, shaking your head more aggressively now.

“What do you mean choose?” You can’t believe they’d recommend something like this. “You know, choose if you want to stay with him. Let him treat you like that, let him get away with those things.”

He grabs your hand, keeping his eyes locked with yours. “Or you can choose to stay with us. Keep being our friend, let us save you from this disaster.” His words hurt, but you know they must be true. “He just…” you inhale a shaky breath, “He just needs time. We’ll figure something out.”

Yeah, that’ll fix it. You’ll figure out a way to keep Heeseung happy and stay close to your best friends. Hopefully, without cutting any ties or creating an awkward atmosphere. But you’ll do whatever it takes to keep each of your boys happy.

#enhypen smut #enhypen x female reader #heeseung smut #lee heeseung smut #enhypen angst

[thema-nr-2]

cant do it alone - b.k

✮ synopsis - bill is needy for you, but he’s on tour. so what does the poor boy in the middle of the night without his baby?

✮ genre - smut

✮ word count - 1.2k

✮ content warning - phone sex, mutual masturbation ??, sub!bill dom!fem!reader, slight degradation, praise, jerking off, semi public masturbation i guess?

✮ a/n um don’t hate me this is my first ever smut so sorry if it ends up on a tiktok slideshow

Tokio Hotel were on tour for their newest album, Zimmer 483. Normally, touring is never an issue for Bill. If he can bring his dog with him, he’s okay. But being away from you for so long was taking a toll on him. He would be calling you any chance he got. He was thinking of you from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. Sometimes even while he was sleeping. Tonight more than ever, though, as he had woken from quite a vulgar dream. He imagined himself underneath you, squirming at your every touch. He imagined your pussy around him, riding him ever so slowly. Dragging not one, not two, but up to 4 orgasms out of him. Bottom line, he fucking missed you. Poor Bill woke up around 2 in the morning so hard it hurt, his body simply aching for your touch. It had been far too long without it.

Quietly, knowing his bandmates were on the tour bus sleeping soundly, he made his way to the bathroom and locked the door. As he quickly pulled down his boxers, he sighed in relief as his hand grabbed the base of his dick. Inhaling sharply, he began to slowly move his hand up and down, picturing nothing but you. As well as your low, sultry praises, telling him how good he’s taking it. Bill tried his hardest to be quiet, but it just felt too good to keep in. He let out a whimper, a little louder than intended, to which he immediately bit down onto his lip to conceal.

He was at this for a good 15 minutes, and he wasn’t even beginning to feel close yet. It felt so good, yet it didn’t feel RIGHT. He wasn’t used to getting off alone anymore, it never felt the same without you. He knew he couldn’t do it without your help, so hesitantly he picked up his phone and dialled your number. His heart raced with anticipation as he waited to see if you would actually pick up at this hour, and to his surprise, you did.

“Baby?” You asked, your voice slow and sleepy.

Bills hand was still wrapped tightly around his dick, though moving at a slower pace. “Oh liebe, did I w-wake you?” He asked.

“Yeah, but it’s okay… what’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just.. mmh…” He stopped for a moment before regaining his thoughts “c-couldn’t sleep you know? Wanted to hear your voice..”

As hard as he was trying to hide it, you caught on pretty quickly, even in your half conscious state. “Bill, what are you doing?” You asked, knowing full well what he was doing, but in hopes he would rat himself out.

At this point Bill began to speed up again, hearing your voice quietly whisper to him made him want you even more and it only made him harder. “N-nothing, schatz… p-p-promise…” He whined out shakily, trying to conceal his stutter.

“You know exactly what you’re doing Billy. Does my poor boy miss me that much?”

He shut his eyes as the hand holding his phone began to shake. He held it away from him in an attempt to quiet his moans but it was no use anymore. You knew damn well what that boy was up to. “Y-yes Y/N I f-fucking miss you so much mmph..”

You simply giggle at his pathetic efforts to hide it. “Feel good, darling?” You asked.

Bill, in the state of euphoria that he was, simply moaned a loud “mhm” in response. His hand pumped his dick faster and faster, his imagination going wild. While hearing your boyfriend whimper so pathetically, you felt yourself getting wetter by the second. Your hand found its way under your panties as you slowly rubbed your clit, causing a low moan to escape your lips.

“Oh how I wish I was there…”

He didn’t even care about getting caught, he was so focused on cumming that he didn’t realise, nor care, how loud he was starting to get. “Ohh liebe.. feels s’good… c-can’t take it much longer..”

Chasing your own release, you shushed him. “F-fucking hold it, Bill.” You said as you painfully pushed two fingers inside your pussy, instantly fluttering your eyes shut as they rolled to the back of your head.

“Y/N, ich kannst nicht…”

“You can.” You replied bluntly. “You will.” Your voice sent shivers down Bill’s spine. He was finally so close, and being denied his sweet release was going to drive him insane. “Got it? Or does my slut need to take his hand off his dick completely?”

“No no no, bitte schatz… I’ll h-hold it in I s-s-swear.”

“Gooood boyyy.” You say lowly as you curl your fingers inside you, hitting your g-spot. You moaned out Bill’s name at a high pitch, imagining your hips slamming down on his dick while your hands pinned his down, restraining his every move. “Fuck, Bill…”

“I n-need you here so bad right now… need to cum so much for you..” He whines, his dick now starting to hurt from how sensitive he was.

“Mhmm yeah, like the pathetic slut you are, huh?” Your degradation only egging him on more. “Doing so well for me, B-Billy.. fuck!” Your moans became almost pornographic as you move your fingers in and out of you at a fast pace, even sliding in a third finger. You worry for a second that your neighbours can hear you, but the pure ecstasy was enough to tear you from your thoughts. You felt that familiar knot in your stomach again, signalling that your orgasm was approaching.

“Bitte Y/N, needa c-cum so bad, I’m so close…” Bill begged. If it weren’t for how close YOU were, you would have told your boyfriend to stop what he was doing just to make him even needier. You enjoyed his pleas and whines, they made you feel so powerful. Like you could control and train him completely, as if you owned him.

“Go on, baby boy, cum for me like the good boy you are.” His moans got louder and louder as he shut his eyes tightly, nearly dropping his phone from how his tense his muscles were. “Imagine cumming in my hand, or my mouth, or even deep inside me.”

“Ja… ah fuck Y/N I’m right there..” That was enough to send him over the edge. Thoughts of you raced through his mind, taking over his body as he came hard in his hand. He let out a final moan of bliss, dragging out your name and jerking his hips up, anything to increase the pleasure of his orgasm. And shortly afterwards, waves of pleasure washed over you as you rode out your high, softly praising him in the process.

Bill, struggling to even think, propped himself up as he was basically lying down on the floor. He panted heavily as he brought the phone back closely to his ear, to hear your sighs of satisfaction. “Holy shit..” He whispered out. “That felt so good, prinzessin..”

You blushed at the pet name, along with hearing Bills fucked out voice. You could only imagine the glowing beads of sweat on his forehead and his furrowed brows, his chest slowly rising and falling as he breathed out your name.

“Did you wake anyone up? You were pretty loud, ya know.” You teased.

Bill suddenly felt his face heat up in embarrassment. He quietly poked his head out into the bus to see everyone still fast asleep. “Doesn’t look like it..”

“Well,” You sighed, “think you can take another one?”

ahhh i know that was lowkey really bad but i wrote it at 2 in the morning 😭 if you wanna see more tho feel free to request something and i’ll get back to it as soon as possible!

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz #gustav schafer smut #tom kaulitz x reader #gustav schäfer #georg listing smut #georg listing x reader #georg listing #gustav schafer x reader #tom kaulitz smut #2000s

[romsabombs]

GUYS the new malevolent is insane so i just thought i'd drop my notes in here✍️ ENJOY it's a lot

freaky ahh cavern

😦😦😦

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

the man is bathed in darkness👹 john thats racist

mf literally been crucified this is so arthurs religious trauma

that is not what bones sound like i think

shes so me awful posture

me at 4am in the kitchen looking for a snack

WAIT oh yuck :/

HAHA THEY'RE IN HIS NOSTRILS

PRINCE MENTIONED

car accident thats so season 1

this is kind of like a hat in time maybe

omgg a witch :3

arthur survives the wildest shit but i think a mcdonalds sprite would kill him

AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!😨😨 YUCK YUCK EW EW RAAAHHH

WHAAAAAT

cant we only do allat to corpses

omg spit it out john

YEAAHHHH HES DEAD

🤭🤭🤭YIPPEE I KNEW IT

omggg thats so janey :33

hes bein puppeted by the maggots thats crazy

STOP TELLING HIM TO KILL THINGS HAHA

omgg kaynes dagger <33

how can this mf be helpful

this is so tmp a bit

rotten flesh mentioned minecraft ref

HAHA WHAAT THATS SO GROSS

the maggots be like i have your fucking eyes👹👹👹👹

OMG WHAT THE HELL zombie arc

claustrophobia again

imagine harlan recording this

omg that's so sexy 🔥🔥 decapitated his ass

HAHA WE'RE ONLY 11 MINUTES IN??

LMAO john stop saying things

YES JOHN it WOULD have been helpful to know this guy didnt have any eyes

"this isnt new york anymore" thank god amiright

his head between our legs🤨

its so funny how he calls it a pinky. didnt someone on tumblr say john wouldnt know finger names

im surprised arthur still has a shirt

the flesh feels stiff😟

this guy is still alive😦 or. dead. i guess

arthur is like weirdly normal about this guy being a zombie. i know hes seen shit (no he hasnt) but come on

faroes song ☹️

YEAHH PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTHH💪

oh what😐 the prince🙄

what did he sayy

oh gross come on guys😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 at this point just put it in your own mouth

"id like to think this is the most insane thing we've ever done" 💀

teehee they dont wanna seperate :3

YEAH! AND FAROE

"everyone we've ever loved" weak. also john doesnt care about anyone but you

"we cant afford to not use every resource anymore" HAHA this is so funny because didnt you throw away everything youve ever owned last episode

yippee welcome back vanguard :3

nothing😟 WAIT YIPPEE :3

WELCOME BACK VANGUARD‼️☝️

omg names mentioned

wait. yorick? llorick? thats the thing arthur said

its not lorick that was the guy from the dreamlands

WOAH WAIT WOAH HUH

hey what the fuck did that mean😀

omg what. rumpelstiltskin

HAHA hes so loser

OMG wait they said stanzyck right

ofcourse anna is dead bruh we were never gonna meet her

arthur and john both being "kings"😟

this tooth is so silly🥰

everyones walking over arthur today💀

they're so miscommunication <3

hey😀 hey whats that sound

DONT SAY IT ugh the prince

"ahh yes :3"

OH😨😨😨😨 A WHAT

SHUT UP🗣️👹 HAHA THATS SO SILLY

this guy is so kayne. and a bit autistic

wait r we just carrying around this skull

bro arthur sounds so tired

ooo this would go hard as a cosplay

i cant believe he has a belt

EUGH YUCK😦

ooo the black stone perchance?

ok i guess not

omg god forbid a girl has hobbies🙄

"im not saying its not risky. what im saying is, it might be worth the risk" that line goes hard

arthur agreeing to this is like a dad saying "okay fine we'll go to mcdonalds🙄"

no reward without risk✊💥

"we're in the lion's den already" "it is a hag's womb👹" HEHEHE

HAHA SILLIES HEHEHEEHE🤭🥰

oooohh johnn 😶‍🌫️

OH 😦 ohhh 😀 u have his memories

clever girl

"thanks yorick😐" "you too my king🤗" "shut up🙄👹"

yorick is so me absolutely no sense of social cues

ofcourse we'd encounter a witch here it was so obvious

"try to keep straight" pff

did john say im serving

hey yeah maybe dont go towards the light😀

LMAO LOOK AROUND? foul

when is the jumpscare happening

i have no idea what he's saying

"too much to make out" MAKE OUT?🤭

LMAO he doesnt know

pregnant meat☹️⁉️

hey i thought asking the vanguard questions would have a price🤨😀

imagine if he just crushed that zombies skull like its a good thing we just decapitated him

hes literally describing my room

you're my eyes☹️

they're acting as if the lighter would give us much light

omgg shes a little interior decorator

tapestry lore!!💪

five minutes left whats gonna happen

wuh ohhh somethings gonna happen

THE STAIRS ARE GONE!!!😬

ur literally in her home leave her alone

his ass is panicking

this is so part 18 the madness

we're trapped :( :(

"ingenious decision king🤓" "SHUT UP👹"

SPRINT!!!!!! 🏃🏃🏃🏃

OH???? 😦😦😦😦 WHAT

IMPALED???M???MNFJREJSJ HUHH

--

omggg he got marcy'd

i saw fanart of this but i lowkey couldnt tell if it was a spoiler or not💀

hot take but if he got bitten by that zombie he could prolly survive this

HUHHH bro this is like part 27 the roots. he was less dramatic about it this time tho

bro yorick finally shut up💀

sooo where did he get impaled. like if in the heart hes cooked😬

#raaahhhhh #i had SO many thoughts #unreal #malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #john doe #john doe malevolent #yorick #yorick malevolent #malevolent part 42

[atiny-for-life]

Golden Hour feels different and I think I know why...

This album feels a lot less cohesive than all others they've ever released. I'm by no means saying it's bad or you shouldn't enjoy it or support the comeback, but it's still something noteworthy.

They said they were really happy making this album, which is amazing and I'm glad they've been enjoying all the new opportunities they've been getting, but when I listen to most of these songs, I feel like we' we've been given a folder from the producer's computer with all the leftover/unfinished tracks, and I think I may know why that is.

First, I wanna say what I mean by the album being less cohesive: Ateez are big on concept albums. The songs tell a story, they're connected, both conceptiually and lyrically, even as we switch genres. Look to Inception, Answer, Guerrilla, Halazia - the instrumentals are so layered and woven together, it feels like you're on a journey as you listen to it. You start in one place and don't know where you're headed until you get there. They're full of unique instruments, random noises, hidden harmonies from Maddox and the vocal line. It's art.

And now move on to Blind, Work, Shaboom, and it's one beat in the back that switches up as we move along but there's nothing new to notice on repeat listens, nothing remarkable to pick out. Lyrically, Work is also a lot more repetitive which is something Ateez historically stayed clear of because Mingi and Hongjoong especially are very invested in the writing process and want the songs to have meaning.

Proving my point, they mentioned during the Preview Live that Mingi and Hongjoong worked more on Empty Box and Siren, with Siren even being a contender for the title track and Empty Box being their collective favorite and, hey, look at that, those two are the only songs on the album which are a lot more complex on all fronts, a lot more similar to their usual music.

Looking at the bigger picture, I absolutely don't think it was laziness which led to the slight drop in quality. I think KQ just has a pre-planned release schedule where everything is organized so they can squeeze in comeback promotions between tour schedules and, this time, they were suddenly offered to go to Coachella, which is an opportunity you simply cannot turn down!

So they squeeze the preparations in, working their asses off, and since they're already in the US, they also schedule interviews, extra classes to take, etc. and with weeks of album preparations now spent on Coachella-related schedules, there just wasn't enough time to hole up in the studio as much as they normally would have which, as a performer, must be a whole lot more fun, but is noticable when you're just a listener.

The Edenary team is still responsible for most of the songs, of course, but they're now also working for Xikers which is likely possible because Hongjoong now has years of experience under his belt and can add finishing touches himself which takes their songs from the instrumental base built by their team to the fully fleshed out songs we know and love.

On top of that, they also used a live band at Coachella, meaning their songs had to be translated to acoustic which was most likely fully Edenary's doing and also took them away from preparing for this comeback.

These days, their albums aren't as pre-prepared anymore as they used to be a couple of years ago when we still got song teasers at the end of tracks several comebacks in advance. They've caught up by now, as we've been able to see in behind the scenes footage of Hongjoong in the studio and from his interview with Chankyun from Monsta X (I.M on the Beat) where he largely talked about working on The World - Ep Fin. which was clearly still fresh in his mind.

Normally, this wouldn't be a downside at all, but it does make scheduling conflicts like this something to be cautious about.

Whether I'm right or not, I don't know and can't prove, but I think it makes a lotta sense and would explain some things. Either way, watching them perform Work is still fun and it's lovely to see them so happy and thriving, but I do think there'll be a noticable difference when the next album drops without any surprise schedules throwing things off course.

#ateez #golden hour part 1

[mentalisill]

tractor au we really goin at it now huh

They’re waiting for their dinner to get delivered when Ren realizes just how gorgeous Martyn is. They’re not doing anything really special, just too out of it to cook so Chinese takeout it is.

Originally, Ren had been saying lines for some movie his manager helped score him a role in. Some highlights from a scene between the main character and Ren, who's playing the love interest.

He says some stuff, it's cliche and sappy, and Martyn throws in small remarks here and there.

They have a system. Ren doesn't actually remember how it started, it kinda just happened one afternoon of sitting around and doing nothing, Ren looked at Martyn and just, stars, Martyn in the orangey lighting of Ren’s kitchen in his jeans and a dark green sweater, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, using his hands to tap absently tap at the counter. Ren had never been more gone for anyone.

That afternoon, they ended up on the couch, Martyn's hands in Ren's long hair and Ren's hands on Martyn's shoulder and neck, practicing a kissing scene Ren had.

And since they'd first begun doing that, Ren had started repeating his favorite lines for Martyn whether they included a kiss or not, it was something fun for both of them. Martyn made witty jokes and improved lines (Sometimes going against the plot of the movie to create some mess of a roleplay in some raspy over-exaggerated accent)

Tonight,  Martyn taps absently on the counter as Ren just plucks strings, it’s a very jumpy beat, but Ren makes due.

RD#1 

“Okay, uh–you ready dude?” Ren smiled, shifting his guitar on his lap as he sat on the marble island counter, watching Martyn as he moved around the kitchen. 

Martyn hummed, giving him a thumbs up.

Ren pressed the record button, this was technically a first draft, right? A demo?

The lyrics start as hums, nothing more than white noise in Ren’s ears as he thinks about if they’re good enough to be said out loud, he almost doesn't want to speak the words he's thinking up.

And when he sings the first word, the first verse, he wants nothing more than to just shrivel up and die. Nothing's more embarrassing to him.

Dream of my hands in your golden hair, “When I wake up, will you still be there?”

It's the first thing that he sings, he's honestly just spitballing here.

As Ren sings, he kinda has a problem closing his eyes and swaying, rocking back and forth in slow movements as he plucks and strums his guitar strings. But this time? He is still as a rock, wide-eyed, and looking at Martyn (who's still cooking, which requires his back to be turned, and Ren guesses that's a bit more comfortable than having Martyn stare at him as Ren sings the song he literally wrote about the blonde)

Because this song is not Ren the actor. It's Ren, just a regular guy. Just Ren, the guy who just so happens to be in love with his best friend, the guy who knows how Martyn takes his coffee, Martyn’s favorite weird food combinations, how he spends his Sunday afternoons, the guy who is hopelessly in love with his personal assistant.

They aren't exactly dating. They're well aware of their mutual feelings for each other, yet have no label on what they are. They're just them. And that's enough for Ren, and if it's not enough for Martyn they can put a label on it. But, they're in no rush.

Ren put everything into this song. Everything he loves about the man in front of him. He hums through the chorus, something, something, loving how Marytns jacket smelt that one night they were out late and Ren didn't have a coat so Martyn gave Ren his green jacket, something about how Ren stayed in bed an extra hour the next day just to not have to take the same jacket off when je got dressed, something about how Ren is actually drowning when he looks into Martyn's blue eyes and it's so much that he doesn't want to save himself anymore (he can deal with drowning if it's Martyn).

“I'd love to show that love's worth running to.” He finishes the song with the chorus, then an instrumental that fades out.

Martyn looks over his shoulder with a cheeky grin, “It sounds great! I like it!”

“I hope so. I don't think people would be happy to know I'm in love with someone who works for me, so…”

“What's the worst they can do?”

“I think getting canceled would be real scary, like it's my whole career on the line!” 

But, really, does any of it matter when Martyn snakes his hand into Ren's hand and entwines their fingers? Does any of it matter when Martyn uses his other hand to take the guitar from Ren and lean it against the counter next to them? Does anything need to worry Ren when Martyn pulls him down and kisses his cheek?

He's smiling like an idiot but decides that, no: his worries are kinda stupid, and a couple of angry fans aren't going to kill him.

#still dont have access to ao3 ill get it back one day </3 #i have more for this but do i feel like making sure its decent? no not really so here take this #treebark #tractor au #trafficshipping #fanfic

[justanancientfangirl]

Oof.

Helluva Boss's 2x8 had some ups and downs for sure.

Cletus' voice makes me want to tear my ears off . Not relevant to anything, just...maybe let the goat girl have more lines next time.

Why does IMP think Blitzø is gonna mess it up? I mean they all know he's a mess, but it's been going just fine for a while. Not super important really, just thought it was a bit deus ex machina that they were there, even if the fight was lit.

As far as Blitzø and Stolas...both have valid points. In this particular case though, though I feel bad for Stolas, Blitzø I think has a bit more of a leg to stand on?

Probably an unpopular opinion, but hear me out.

Stolas has been planning this for a while. He's been all in his feelings, parsing through what he wants and what he feels and why. He's been doing a TON of soul searching. Which is excellent! It's growth! We love to see it.

Before that though, everything we see him say to Blitzø is a little condescending, or in the context of their deal. He only really seemed to start wanting to get to know Blitzø at all in the Ozzie episode, but we don't really see them talk much except in Seeing Stars, when he is more worried about getting Octavia back than anything. And when they do talk, Stolas is kind of snippy, except when he is being overtly sexual

The point being: though we know Stolas has been thinking about this deal for sometime, and know he has come to some conclusions about the whole thing, he hasn't really seemed to change much in how he outwardly treats Blitzø.

He has been telling Blitzø he doesn't have to come since he got hurt (I am guessing) but suddenly asks him to come back? It seems like Blitzø hasn't been getting any since he stopped sleeping with Stolas. Or at least, nothing that he's as excited for, even if he talks a bit game about it being for work.

He is worried that he isn't good enough in general, and spends the whole episode getting things he thinks Stolas will like. He knows he doesn't like beads, knows he will like a giant dildo, he likes the fancy stretchy harness and the rhinestone blindfolds...like, he is actively trying to make sure that Stolas has a good time. So he keeps him around. And we, the audience, know it's not just to keep the grimmoire.

So Stolas gives Blitzø a panic attack by first requesting the book back permanently, saying that their deal is off. Anything after that, Blitzø was never going to hear right away, because not only will it feel like Stolas is throwing him away, he's also taking away everything Blitzø has built for himself.

Stolas does give him the crystal and explain what it is and what it does, but Blitzø is still processing 'give me the book back permanently ' and probably re-living every time Stolas has reminded him of their differences in station, called him a 'plaything' or a 'little imp'.

He and Stolas have never really talked. Every time they got close, Stolas backtracked. So suddenly Stolas is being really serious and emotional, and is all dressed in his finest clothing and telling Blitzø that the arrangement is over ... Yikes.

The thing is, Blitzø is totally right to need a minute to process. Stolas drops a bombshell, gets upset when Blitzø treats it like part of the game they've BEEN playing, because there's no reason for Blitzø to assume that they are doing emotions now.

Then, when Blitzø realizes that Stolas was serious he calls Stolas out for just dismissing him when he didn't react the way Stolas wanted. Stolas has had time to process his emotions, Blitzø hasn't. It's not fair to just sweep away and say 'well, good luck, see you never, guess you don't feel for me' like...way to put words in his mouth, Stolas.

And then when Blitzø demands to talk about it, when he lashes out and accuses Stolas of treating him like he is nothing just like all the other royals, Stolas portals him out of the house.

Like... Stolas didn't want to take advantage of the power imbalance anymore, right? The point was supposed to be to give Blitzø a choice. And then, as soon as he gives Blitzø the crystal, and Blitzø doesn't react in the exact way Stolas wants, he makes yet ANOTHER unilateral decision.

He didn't even give them a chance to talk about it like adults. Not that Blitzø was going to talk about it like an adult, he was probably going to yell some more, and insult Stolas more too, but at least at first, after he realized that Stolas was serious, he DID seem like he would have been amenable to a conversation.

He didn't start yelling till Stolas swept out of the room and didn't look back.

And then, Stolas just makes the decision for him AGAIN, and portals him away. Stolas is devastated, and hurt that it seems like Blitzø thinks really lowly of him, but...he's also very much doing exactly the same thing that he has always done.

He hasn't lessened the power imbalance at all. He's just reminded Blitzø of how deep that gulf really is. He didn't even ask him to leave, just forced it on him, which is kind of shady.

Also, it's not like Stolas has ever been particularly kind to any of the other imps-not his employees (IMPloyees, lol) not Moxie and Millie...he is still kind of an asshole to other imps Blitzø knows, and being someone's exception is...not really a great feeling.

This post got away from me.

Basically though, it distills to Stolas said he wanted to give Blitzø a choice and have them be equals, but as soon as things didn't go the way he wanted, he shut Blitzø down immediately and made a unilateral decision for the both of them. That's not something partners do. If he had talked with Blitzø on LITERALLY any other day, had offered the crystal first, had allowed them to make a decision together...THEN I would be a little more on his side here. He is allowed to be devastated and hurt by Blitzø's words. He's allowed to feel rejected. But he is not without fault in this. They've been shit at communicating from Day 1. If this is gonna be endgame, they HAVE to do better. And Stolas can't escape from painful conversations by magically transporting Blitzø away when Blitzø can never hope to reciprocate that kind of treatment.

#blitzø #stolas #stolitz #helluva boss #helluva boss 2x8 #helluva spoilers

[seagullcharmer]

still haven't properly Drawn my lorule map yet but oooh the ideas........

#libra.txt #it's almost a vertical mirror to hyrule #but not quite. ugh idk #they aren't 1:1 mirrors anymore #anyway i'm thinking about making a chain of volcanic islands #but idk...... #sigh. i don't think it work quite right #like how is hilda going to get there? #but maybe i'll have it as one major volcano still on the continent #and then a ring of islands leading up toward zora's domain #nothing is going to line up right anymore #like yes i suppose things are moving so that my gerudo alts are in swampland generally in the same area as the faron region #which is arguably swampish #and death mountain is still in the same place. it's just that it's snowy now #(which is of course canon to albw) #i originally wanted to have the [redacted] area similar to some of the tabantha region #the dry areas and the cliffs and canyons #and some of the northern gerudo region area #like where the yiga cave is in totk #but more of an interconnected cave / tunnel system #kinda like what little i remember of minish cap #but so many worldbuilding ideas......... #like i thought the islands could be fun bc i could also allude to a pirate history on the high seas #since i am Not going to write a ww lorule fic any time soon #(the sws lorule fic is the only loz alt i'm going to allow myself to do besides the botw fic rn) #(and that's only bc unfortunately it will help me develop lore for the botw fic. and also maybe help me work on a ghirahim voice) #(why's ghirahim here? don't worry about it)

[faggatini]

i cannot do another year of this shit. im so serious. i can’t do it

#fuck Latrobe fuck my booth fuck my job fuck moving #fuck it all #fuck it all man #like i don’t know. i don’t know I’m 20 years old and there’s no where to go but down #and at the end of the day i am close to no one not really #i want friends that care as much as I do about them but it takes time and I get that. friendship doesn’t happen over night #but it’s been like this my whole life. I’m always on the cusp of friend groups. I’m right on the line of being let in but i can never #I can never get all the way in. and it’s so frustrating. most days I wake up and feel like i #i genuinely wake up and feel like I am nothing. I am nobody. to anyone and nothing fuxking matters anymore. like there’s even no point in #even telling anyone about this because it’s the same shit over and over and over and i get . it gets annoying pretty quick and I’m not that #special because everyone has their own generic problems to deal with. my problems are ordinary. my life is ordinary probably even less than #ordinary because if it where extraordinary my life wouldn’t be this repetitive and fucked go on it’s own average way #anyways all is bad and I hope I explode into a tiny million piece ltonight

[cat--boy]

im so fucking tired and stressed. i dont know when this ends. it hasnt ended for the past like 4 months and its driving me fucking crazy

#no one in my life pays any genuine attention to me and its not like its their fault i guess #i just #i cant even word it right #i feel insane #i feel like nothing is ever going to end this #i can't do this anymore #all i do is work and stress and i try so hard to talk to people and get people to like me and it never works and nothing i do ever matters #im so forgettable #people see me and they remember i exist for the duration i spend in their line of site and then i leave that line #and its like i suddenly have no importance #and i guess i dont #thats their own opinion #i just i dont know if im ever going to find people that remember im. like that im even alive. or have a personality. or. i dont know. #i dont know i dont know #i dont know what im fucking saying #look at me its the babbling fucking lunatic point and laugh and then forget about me #simply breif entertainment or reassurance in my own boring life that gets annoying if its too real #vent #im probably actually crazy ignore me #it never shuts up

[slutdge]

my favorite part about life is that it is completely pointless and then you die, but like ive chosen to view that as a positive

#as in i can either get the support i need from social services and escape this abusive relationship #or not and then i just kms #or relapse and just keep using til i die #and all three of those are equal in my mind now theyre just. neutral. i really feel like im just playing a video game these days. #nothing means anything to me anymore no matter how much i want it to its just like. going through the motions. #and ive developed into this mindset over the last 6 months or so involuntarily #i used to Feel Things but thats been declining since my cousin killed himself #and moreso since the doctors told us my grandmas got a year max to live #ive just lost my ability to care anymore if that makes sense #being unmedicated because i cant get in to see my doctor probably isnt helping either #maybe psychiatrists should be responsible and not ghost rheir fucking patients for over a year so it didnt have to get to this #but i feel like its a point of no return. even if i get back on my meds. the last 12 months of bullshit have just caused irreperable damage #to my outlook on life #i think the despair is permanent #yes i know all i do is bitch and moan about my life go away lmao #think ive earned my right to bitch and moan considering what i have to go through on a daily basis #almost feels like this outlook on life has been healing which. says a lot about the fucking bullshit i have to put up with #just feels like game over and for once im ok with it. im completely alone taking this its all me and thats fine #i like myself more than ever to be honest like this is the closest ive ever felt to myself ever. whatever the fuck that even means. #the bottom line is that feeling like ive completely lost my mind has made me feel more like myself than i ever have #this makes no sense im psycjotic blah blah blah ignore me #whatever im screaming into a void here #what im trying to say it gets to the point in lifelong abuse where youre so severely beaten down #no one can help you. so you can either choose to kill yourself or keep living and hope maybe one day it will stop #but the latter may ultimately be for nothing theres no guaraentee or hope youll ever be free of that #and theyre neutral options to me because i know theres almost no hope of escape considering how powerful this person is #havent decided which of those options are the best for me yet but there is one certain which is i will be alone #but im coming to force myself to accept that and try and not think of it as such a bad thing #being alone is ok especially in death i think #this sort of robotic feelingless mental illness takeover of my brain is slowly helping me accept that

[hearties-circus]

Most uncomfortable extra maths support period of my life g-ddammit

#gamer txt. #at max 5 of us show up right #3 of us showed up this time #and those other 2 were called down for the rest of the period #so it was just me and the teacher #being alone with just the teacher doing work as normal is fine being alone with just the teacher who Knows you need help isnt #it doesnt matter if i care or if i know or not. someone telling me im wrong and need help always always makes me tear up #and she decided to fucking sit next to me #listen im fine going to maths support classes #i draw the line at a tutor. i will cry and theres little to nothing i can do about that #and then she started asking me about how i usually did in maths. what did i get on my last test? 8/100? #do i know how id go about getting a better score? #can you fuck off please i dont want to talk about this anymore #do i study at home? NO i dont ok! i hate maths! i dont wanna do it in the comfort of my own home! #and its so embarrassing! doing sometjing im bad at it in school is ok bc we have to. everyone else is doing it too #doing it at home in my free time? to try to get better? and still struggling still failing ? just hit me itd hurt less #and plus my main issue is my memory #i cant even study at home bc i forget everything to do with school the second i leave #it doesn't return to me until sunday night if it even returns me #and if i do remember and go through past paper questions or fucking homeworks i dont understand them #and i dont remember where the lesson for them is #but the lessons dont make sense to me either so finding them wouldnt help me #but no one takes i forgot as a valid answer even if i explain so what does it fucking matter #why dont i ask for help? thats my business! thats personal! im not going to explain my fucking trauma to you #whether or not asking for help makes me feel like im going to be screamed at and cursed out doesnt matter. i cant do it #stop telling me to just do it! thats not possible! #just let me fail it doesnt matter i dont want to be doing maths anyways i dont care and i dont want to be here just let me fail #or kick me out the class! move me down a class! those are options i know they are my friends do nat 4 maths you can move me down #just. stop talking to me about it. i dont want to do maths anymore #it has single handedly gotten me to start making suicide jokes again

[dredshirtroberts]

y'know that post that's like everyone's got their special super power or whatever, it might just look a little different from the super hero movies? right?

yeah my bio family's version of that is Impeccably Bad Timing

#well i *was* excited for a meet up tomorrow #and i still am don't get me wrong it's just #slightly tainted currently by the fact that my family just... #trying to explain to my sister where i'm at with our parents feels like a hopeless endeavor and i just really do not feel like hashing it o #at 10pm on a Monday when the purpose of her reaching out was to give me the information i might need about grandpa's funeral #which i have already decided i will not be attending but i acknowledge that i did not notify my dad of receipt of his messages #and therefore he has no idea if i even got the relevant information he was trying to do the right thing and give me #even if he did it stupid and bad #i'm...frustrated by the situation i've ended up in and i know about half of it *is* my fault (the breakdown of it could have gone better an #i was the only person in charge of breaking things down between me and my parents) #but like... i don't want to be in this position in the first place where i'm having to cut my parents off because they're shitty people #like... id on't know if they think maybe i *like* doing this to the family but i don't #i do like not having them around but i don't like that i don't want them around if that makes any fucking sense #and i STILL cannot be sad about grandpa only because it's ALL THE OTHER JUNK TOO #like she's not innocent let me not paint her as a good communicator here #she also added in things between the lines i don't appreciate her doing because it makes the outreach feel shitty #and like i know i know i've gone completely dark after this and no i'm not actually doing that great now that grandpa's dead #like that still sucks really hard and pip hasn't super really processed it yet and it's going to hurt when she gets there and i'm not ready #for that yet and now i have a Nice Thing to look forward to and i have Nice People around me and all i want to do is just Have A Good Time #but i know i've been quiet i know i haven't reached out like i'm supposed to i know #but also... stop badgering me about it - i know. i know what i'm supposed to do they all treat me like i'm not doing it because i forgot #I WENT TO ETIQUETTE CLASSES I KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO #i'm either deliberately not doing it on purpose or i'm not doing it because I *can't* yet. #i can't talk to my grandma on the phone i can't do that absolutely not #i'm trying to work up to a *text message* or an *email* which is not in any way nearly the right thing to do #but like. it's all i've got and i can't give her *nothing* but i don't... have anything to give her outside of a condolences text message #because i don't even know where i'm at about it yet BECAUSE MY GODDAMN PARENTS AND SISTER KEEP BUTTING IN AND NOT LETTING ME PROCESS #i get it i get that they're probably worried i know i know i'm the asshole here #i get it #but also i am not their concern anymore they all washed their hands of me when i was nearby

[beskad]

.

#pls i just want one break for one week oh my god #another terrible migraine that kept me down in a dark room for 4+ hours #a shattered filling so 20% of that molar is just looking pulverized and IDK when i'll be able to get in at the dentist #severe stomach upset in the afternoon even though i didn't even take anything for the pain so it's not like it's ibuprofen setting it off?? #OH and my rear driver's side brake is grinding so loudly and i'm worried something's really wrong but idk where to take it #and i'll have to use PTO if i want to get it checked #oh and 2 of my 4 tires are cracking so i can't delay replacement anymore #goddddd #oh and i haven't been able to install my passenger's side indicator lights/turn signal because apparently #someone hit the front of my car. probably in a parking lot #because nothing is lining up when i go to install the replacement part #and it's definitely the right part. but you can see if you look closely that the bumper is slightly Off #not even MENTIONINGGGGGGGGG all the bullshit from this medication taper #actually that might be the cause of the stomach upset today come to think of it #tbd

[lovelyghst]

soft-tummy simon riley save me… cause you cannot look at that man and tell me he doesn’t love to eat!! like, a constant snacker. and his heart absolutely swells when you indulge so heavily in his needs.

it’s practically his love language, to scarf down anything you put on the table in front of him, and you can certainly tell since now he’s not nearly in the same shape as he was when you found him.

he likes to think you’ve fixed him in a way; spending his evenings cuddling in bed for hours on end with you, rather than heading to the gym for the second time that day to burn off dinner. thanking you for the savory meal with kisses all over instead of fighting off the impulse to purge his usual bland chicken breast and vegetables every night.

and it all hits him far, far deeper than just his gut; feeling it in his heart more than the soft layer of fat blanketing his tummy he has to see in the mirror every morning. just the fact that a sweet thing like you wants to take care of him, ensure he eats plentiful yet still healthy for his work, has him whipped. showering him with endless i love you’s and praising him all up and down until his cheeks tint a light, flustered pink and his dick gets achingly hard in his pants.

he won’t pretend the change was easy on him, seeing the clean-cut abs and fit appearance that made him feel young fade away the further you got into your relationship, but he’d also be a filthy liar if he said he didn’t prefer the pros to his current build way more.

simon begins wearing shirts less around the house on his lazy days, at your lovely request of course, and it does feel quite freeing. especially when he’s able to come up behind you in the kitchen, cage you in with his burly arms, bend you over the counter and fuck you senseless because part of the deal was that his shirts would go to you, and with nothing but your lace panties on underneath.

he can’t help but get riled up seeing you walk around like that, and you’re no saint either when you catch a glimpse of his broad chest and relaxed, pillowy belly as he reads the morning newspaper. you tend to drop to your knees and tug at his boxers faster than he can even greet you properly, showing him just how much you love him.

he loves eating you out more than anything, especially with a full tummy after a late meal. you’ll take his and your empty plates to the kitchen to clean up, but you’re being bent over the counter before you can even wipe it down!! and squealing his name in surprise won’t stop him, nor will your giggles as he’s lifting the skirt of your dress to reveal your pretty ass, getting down on his knees and delving right in.

dragging his tongue through your drenched seam, grinning softly against your skin when you jolt and whine out of sensitivity. tongue-fucking your pretty, tight hole only for a moment before he’s returning to messily play with your swollen clit.

and you just know it’s entirely selfish, simon not even paying mind to the way your legs shake and relentlessly convulse and you can barely stay still because his stubble is unceasingly tickling your inner thighs. making you cum until you can’t anymore, and he’s happily forced to carry your numbed, twitchy body to bed so you can catch your breath and rest while he finishes up the chores.

would probably send you off by say something cliché about you being his favorite dessert. he’s so stupid when he’s horny.

simon is weak for when you ride his stomach, with both his hands planted firmly on your hips as you rub your bare pussy back and forth on his hard abdomen. his hidden muscles become more apparent the longer you go at it and the harder he holds you down, little whimpers spilling from your puffy lips as the light hairs coating his tummy create just the perfect amount of friction to your poor, little clit for that hot, familiar sensation in your lower belly to bubble up.

your hands clawing at his chest and shoulders, leaving lines and crescent indents in his skin that soon turn red in their wake, and the pain only turns him on more, his cock excruciatingly hard, long hums of pleasure omitting straight from his throat as he grits his teeth.

“yeah, that’s it, sweetheart—there’s my dirty girl. jus’ keep goin’ for me now, don’t stop… make yourself cum without me touchin’ you down there, ‘nd then i’ll fuck you real nicely after. alright, princess?”

and you soon follow through with just that, nodding decorously with tears welling at your eyes’ waterlines before you’re lurching forward, crying out his name. thighs giving out and fighting to ride out your orgasm, where simon then saves you with his attentive grip on your hips, finishing the job for you rather recklessly.

“good fuckin’ girl… y’did so well for me, love,” and every other gruff, dragged word of praise in his vocabulary echos in your fuzzy mind as you come down from your high.

you’re still catching your breath, fulling laying on his chest by the time he’s inching you backwards whilst taking his hard dick out from his boxers. lifting your weak hips for you as he whispers small, reassuring hushes right by your ear, soothing your winces as he fully sheathes you on his thick cock, inch by fucking inch.

he fucks himself up into you, not daring to make you overwork your body anymore, and he handles you so delicately you could almost fall asleep on his mattress of a body. you crumble to pieces with the vibrations of his chest from his unending groaning, the feeling of his veiny and rough cock stretching and filling you to the brim almost becoming minute compared to the sleepiness washing over you.

“there ya go, pretty… don’t have’ta do any work now, jus’ like i promised, eh?” he coos, and he could feel you smiling against his collarbone. one of his large hands cradles the back of your head while the other gropes at your ass lovingly. “takin’ me just fine, sweet girl.”

you bury your heated face into his squishy pectoral, whining at the overstimulation to your clit at the particular angle, left so utterly sensitive from your prior orgasm. you’re limp in his strong hold, securer than ever as he lifts your hips up and down his thick cock.

he uses your tender cunt ‘til he’s satisfied, groaning right up against your ticklish ear when he empties his hot cum in your throbbing pussy, the perfect thing milking him dry and turning you exhausted.

he actually sits in the moment for a peaceful while, coddling you against his rising and falling chest and murmuring sweet praises, until eventually his disciplined brain kicks in despite your protests.

“don’t go passin’ out on me yet, sweetheart.” you grumble out a refusing noise which makes him laugh softly, but apparently it’s not enough to win him over. “let’s go get you cleaned up, yeah?”

(simon and his size difference & free use kinks go CRAZY in this one. also this instagram reel is so him coded ok bye bye <3 cont.)

#cod mw #simon riley #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley smut #ghost smut #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x female reader #simon riley x female reader