#nothing is ever only Good or only Bad

[reikunrei]

there is honestly sooo much evidence that Brenner used Henry to "breed" Eleven and all of the other kids at Hawkins Lab:

we never learn anything about who El’s biological father is. it's never even posed as a really tangible question. all we know about Terry's pregnancy was that it was a surprise, and they were all worried about it since she was in the middle of doing these supposed "drug experiments" at the lab, which was also used as a cover for taking away El, blaming a "miscarriage."

if Terry was under the influence, she likely would not have ever been aware that she had been artificially inseminated.

Henry is of the right age for Brenner to have collected sperm samples from him. quick math with some science thrown in: El was 8 in 1979 and Henry was 32 (per the fandom wiki). therefore, when El was conceived, Henry would have been 23/24. we don't know the ages of the other kids at the lab, but there don't seem to be many who are older than Eleven. some of the kids who assaulted her looked like they could have been 15-18 (though this also depends on how much we're aging down the actors like the main cast lol). regardless, even if we ballpark one of the older kids being 18, Henry would have been 13/14 at the time of conception. people who produce semen can start developing sperm as soon as puberty begins, which can start as early as 11 years old. as icky as it feels, i would not put it past Brenner to take samples from Henry the instant he was viable.

the fact that there are age gaps between all of the kids is evidence that Brenner didn't want to raise any red flags about the pregnancies in his test subjects. it seems like anywhere from 1-4 kids at the lab could be around the same age, so Brenner would have played it safe by inseminating just a few women at a time to not raise any alarms.

Brenner admitted that Henry was difficult to control, so that would lead him to try and get "fresh" minds that he could mold from infancy so the kids wouldn't try to fight against him and would do exactly what he asked. he needed to be sure they'd have powers to begin with, though, so of course he tried taking from the only source he had.

this is less evidence, but just something the scene after Henry helps El and he gets physically punished for it reminds me of. him being tasered reminds me of livestock being physically reprimanded into behaving a certain way (ie. taser = cattle prod). and, hey, if you want good cattle, you breed your best bull.

and now, less quantifiable stuff to point at, but more evidence by way of the storytelling of the series... i talked about it in depth in this post where i discussed my personal thoughts and hopes for how they elaborate on the relationship between El and Henry, but to sum it up:

throughout the entire show, but especially in s4, there's been the discussion of "good vs evil" or "monsters vs superheroes" and how things are not so black and white, as Brenner put it. even Henry says that, no, Brenner was not a monster, he was just a mediocre man who was searching for purpose vicariously through his experiments.

this, i feel, is obviously leading to an understanding on Eleven's end that she has both done monstrous things and is still a good person at heart. she strives to be good, she pushes against being the "monster," but she will have to admit that, sometimes, she behaves in monstrous ways. however, that does not make her a "monster."

this could very easily jump into her being blood-related to Henry, worrying that it makes her more of a monster, before realizing that evil is not genetic. like, it's not that far of a stretch to place this narrative over blood relations while the kids at Hawkins Lab already all view themselves as "siblings" due to their upbringing.

on the opposite side of the coin, this feeds into the discussion that Henry is not a pure-blooded monster. not only will Eleven have to realize that she is capable of being a monster, but Henry is capable of not being a monster. he is, just like Brenner, simply a man who happened to find himself in fantastic circumstances.

#henry creel #stranger things #eleven #i say things #sorry foaming at the mouth i just LOVE that the story is going in this direction #discussions about gray areas are always super interesting to me #bc they are SO humanly relatable #nothing is ever only Good or only Bad #there is so much nuance in the world and this series very easily #could have just been like 'yeah vecna is the big bad and they have to kill him to save the world!' #but they very clearly are NOT doing that #what's that like. pokemon mewtwo quote LMAO #'it's the circumstances of ones birth' that dictates who they become or whatever #or like. this all reminds me of zuko in atla. and how he was deathly afraid of becoming like his father #bc he has the firelords blood in him so what if that means he'll become evil too?? #and then on the flip side you have azula and her cracked facade #that just shows ultimately she's merely a traumatized 14 year old girl #ANYWAY just. there's already tangible quantifiable evidence that leads to el being blood related to henry #but even if it wasnt blatantly obvious. bringing blood relation to a discussion about good/evil #is always suuuuper interesting to me #i am human and i love nuance >:)

[moeblob]

Haha, it's so funny how I am so indecisive that I go "I wanna draw my son" and then have too many ideas as to how. So here!

Take Ferdinands (and a Felix, I suppose, bc they are boyfrinds in my heart and soul).

#ferdinand von aegir #fe three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #and for those of you who might not know it i did have an au where ferdinand was a vampire #hence the fangs and wings teehee #but i also have an au where ferdinand is a fallen angel which isnt like he did anything bad #he simply gave up his angel life to be a mortal and devote the mortal life to very human felix #and it was actually a huge mess of a plot bc felix died in that plot and was brought back as if nothing ever happened #and ferdinand didnt actually know this happened so hes just super happy still bc he still thinks everything is good #and felix is stuck with a grim reaper and a soul dealer watching him and talking to him and no one else can see them #anyway ferdinand as always in that plot is a pure delight and felix has no idea he was an angel at some point #and in the vampaegir au hes a half vampire bc mom was human and dad was a vampire #so he kinda lost the SEVERE WEAKNESSES therefore is fine in the sun and yeah... still needs blood but not as often #also how dare i only draw a puppynand and not a ferdinyand i shoulda squozen a catboy in there #rip and also how dare i not draw my beloved dancernand #anyway thats the tags c ya

[somethingaboutmint]

Blocking every annoying fallout fan and taking away new vegas until you all learn to behave

#like im so serious i dont think ive ever been more annoyed at my dash #can you all learn to enjoy things. #every single criticism ive seen so far has been ' once again this proves new vegas is the only good fallout game' #absolutely nothing constructive #ive also seen such dogshit takes about the series as a whole like. jesus christ #i dont care if i get labeled as a bethesda shill i think you guys are just wrong about what fallouts about in general #like i think new vegas and the bethesda fallouts can both be different takes on the same thing and none of them are inherently bad

[th3b33skn33s]

Darling Dolorosa Homestucktober 2023, Day Seven: Ancestor

#Hello and welcome to the first one i actually drew on time but did not post on time :( #hopefully its the last one i have to queue #anyways say hi to the little baby kankri! #isnt he just so cute #bet nothing bad will ever happen to him or his adoptive mother #yup! definitely only good things ahead for these two! #art #myart #homestuck #hs #homestucktober #homestucktober2023 #the dolorosa #maryam #porrim #porrim maryam #kankri vantas #kankri #the signless

[asgardian--angels]

I honestly just think it's funny that so many people have been watching ofmd as a 'comfort show' lmao like I'm over here specifically watching for the angst. I crave pain and suffering. As soon as High On A Rocky Ledge played in the pilot I was hooked because I knew I was in for intense emotional turmoil. Red Flags is now my favorite episode of the entire series. I honestly didn't expect Izzy to survive as long as he did. His fucked up relationship with Blackbeard has fed me so well.

Of course I adore the love story, and the fact that Ed and Stede's love is an absolute, an immutable fact, of the show's premise allows me to enjoy the angst all the more. But I feel like some people need to be reminded: David Jenkins never promised you fluff. He never promised no deaths, no tragedy, no violence, no difficult topics. Personally I think including a fair deal of all of those makes the hope, the love, and the comedy shine all the brighter and have more meaning. You don't have to agree, but you can't assign expectations to a show that never made such promises. There was never false advertising. David set out to tell the story of two troubled, complicated adults navigating love and a long-term relationship in an often harsh and unfair world, finding community and making meaningful gains in self-actualization along the way. Ultimately it is a 'feel good' story but it's a rocky and winding road meant to mirror the messiness of our real world. Maybe you need to step back and re-evaluate where canon ends and your headcanons begin, and what the 'goals' of the show actually are that may differ from what you're looking for in media, and not blame Jenkins et al. for 'betraying you' when they're just telling their story the way they set out to.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #actually this is a comfort show to me but our definitions of comfort differ i feel #like literally Seinfeld is the only show i watch when i want nothing bad to happen ever #this show causes me so much emotional distress but in a fun and good and cathartic way #it in no way bleeds over to my actual life or affects my mental state in any lasting way #and if you have built up a version of the show in your head that is so incongruent to how the plot ended up going #that you think you know the characters better than the creator (in season 2 of a show no less...we're not talking supernatural season 15) #or that your mental health spirals when a character dies because you 'trusted' djenks not to hurt any characters in the PIRATE SHOW #please seek professional help i mean it #i do honestly wonder if some of the people being the most drastic are teenagers because #i literally have not been this affected by a fictional character's death since i was like 15

[icewindandboringhorror]

I find it kind of silly that so many of those "time based life rule" sayings are like ~deep serious guidelines~ of some sort, but then there's that one other Well Known Rule that's just like "hrmm can I eat something off of the ground or not"

#the duality of human condition.. two biggest concerns in the modern era are attempts at self fulfilling productivity #and also 'if i drop my sandwich can i still eat it :(' #Also while capitalism is often linked with/the source of hyper productivity culture - note that I do not mean the images in that context #'meaningful to you' does not have to mean 'productive within a capitalist system'. The point is not 'every waking hour of every day #must be spent in the most societally productive grinding mindset hyper efficency mode possible' but more like #if you've always wanted to learn french ever since you were a kid and you think it would be fulfilling to you (just because you like it #absent of any larger purpose like using it for a job/monetizing it somehow/etc.). and you've just spent like 5 hours straight on tiktok #or something mindlessly scrolling the internet. maybe someimtes it'd help for your own personal fulfillment in the long #run to try to - the next time you have 5 spare hours - work on learning french or something that is actually significant to you #as a person and that you'll be glad you worked towards. instead of weeks and weeks passing by and feeling you have nothing to show for it #or etc. AAANYWAY. The images/rules themselves are also NOT the main point of this post. More just the juxtaposition of them together #and the fact that 3 of them are serious seeming while one is so mundane it seems silly in comparison. #BUT even though they're not the main point . I still didn't want it to come across as if I was like promoting or buying into capitalist #productivity culture propaganda or etc. I don't find productivity tips like this inherently bad as long as they're kind of divorced from #those ideas. I think it's still important in life to have goals even if those goals exist outside of the typical expected framework. #I mean that's actually part of why a culture of chronically exhausted overworked deprived people is damaging because if you #'re forced to spend 85% of your waking time working at some job that is perosnally meaningless to you that brings you nothing that #youre only doing under threat of starvation and houselesness and etc. then of course you don't have much time for hobbies or things you car #about and of course you'll feel more aimless and personally unsatisfied and like life is not fulfilling or interesting. #Productivity and efficiency is GOOD actually. as long as it's able to be directed in ways that are actually meaingful to the community or #individual and bring some sort of feeling of fulfillment or progress or accomplishment and working towards a person's personal ideas #of happiness whatever those are. rather than just working away aimlessly so some guy you don't know can buy a 20th house or etc. etc. #ANYWAY.. lol.. Me overthinking things perhaps.. probably not as likely #that people see the silly little cat images and go 'WOW EVIL you must be a capitalist grind culture lover' like its pretty clear #thats not the point... but... just in case... lol.. I loooove to over clarify things that don't actually need clarification

[queerbauten]

Not for nothing, I'm sure that if Neil Gaiman had had even a speck of pro-Russian sympathies two years ago, none of you would be demanding "nuance" in that conversation.

#remember kids: some countries are ontologically bad and others are ontologically neutral and some are ontologically good! #that's why geopolitics are they way they are right now—it's *definitely* nothing to do with the interests of empire and capital! #[/s] #the imperial core has only ever cared about Ukraine as a means to an imperialistic end #Neil Gaiman #Russia #Ukraine #Israel #Palestine #war tw #xenophobia tw

[randomidiocyncrazies]

Honestly... milgram project is fun bc you get to analyze the characters (and try to work out their "murder" + the circumstances surrounding it) AND you get to analyze the fandom as a bonus too

#milgram #i'm actually still really salty that ppl voted Amane Unforgiven/Guilty with the reasoning that it's for her own good #like i get it. both choices were bad #but you're honestly telling me that ppl thought telling a little girl she's not forgiven #when she showed willingness to at least hear different viewpoints in her voice drama #is BETTER than forgiving her??? #and when she doubled down on her cult beliefs as a result of us telling her she'll find no forgiveness from us #THEN we tell her she's forgiven??? after she brought into the kool-aid more than ever??? #like if you're voting so she'd distance herself from the cult then isn't it more important to reject her devotion to her cult now??? #anyway. she should've been forgiven from the start #and i honestly think we've locked her into a 'bad' ending ever since we tried to 'save' her in T1 #with our holier-than-thou smug attitude ('it's for her own good!' bro that's nothing but paternalism the thing she hates most) #to tell her we don't forgive her for what she did after years of being abused by a cult #(i say 'we' as if i didn't only find out about milgram a week before Kotoko's T2 vote closed)

[pickapea]

my job is reactivating and rehabilitating patients in post surgery care and one of the first things i tell them once they've tried to drink some juice and stand on their legs without throwing up is "every bite is a good bite" and i think that's a good sentiment for everyone

#i tell them “if you have to eat 5 panacottas and nothing else today then that's a win” and then i give them panacottas #actually it's not a win bc they need way more than that #5 panacottas and a few supplementary nutritional drinks and then we're all set #caramel flavoured chocolate pudding is also a good option #an option anyone outside a hospital would discourage to be the only thing you eat in a day. but we will nag and bug you until you eat 2 #ive seen a lot of people here on tumblr talk about the need for a neutral food view #that morals don't exist in food #and it's true #to become healthy after your body has kind of been under the greatest toll ever (stomach open wide) there is no such thing as bad food #pickapost #tho of course you will develop some health issues if you don't have a proper diet #like scurvy or kidney stones #that's no good #or blood fats that will lead to health issues later in life #but compared to malnutrition those are irrelevant #nutrition comes first otherwise you cannot live #and when it comes to nutrition every bite is a good bite

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[nico-di-genova]

F1 TV only showing Lance + his car when he went off into the very technical turn 9. But showing Fernando from every angle… Their blatant bias is so annoying.

#I was watching lances onboard #it was the ONLY time he went off #and it was in a turn both Oscar and Lando struggled with as well #but sure #show just that because why would they ever show a good drive from Lance when they could continue to nitpick the bad? #and this is nothing against Fernando #I love him #I’m just a little annoyed by the bs #they literally only show when Lance does something wrong

[doecrossing]

just sat through the most horrible, awkward, tense dinner I've ever experienced in my whole life

#my bf's family was in town to see the eclipse #he was like 'hey do you wanna get dinner with us after?' #and he's met my entire family so even though i didnt want to it was only fair. #anyway his uncle picks us up at my apartment. his sister is in the car. #no one asks who or how i am and i do not get introduced nor have the chance to introduce myself #for like a good 3-5 minutes. off to a bad start. #we get to the restaurant. a pizza place. his family is already seated. #no one except for his grandparents acknowledge me. they are the only 2 people to talk to me directly for the entire meal. #his grandfather asks some stuff about my life. i answer normally. he veers off into tangents that i can only respond to with 'haha' #or a smile and nod bc they are so personal that i literally have nothing to add #the children in the family spill water everywhere. there is yelling in the public restaurant while my bf goes and gets napkins #like a normal person might do #despite being at a pizza place everyone decides to order an individual dish instead of something to share #this might be fine if there were only 4 of us. there were 10. #they get mad when the food takes over an hour to come #at this point i wished i had ordered a cocktail #his uncle is the most awkward person ive ever met. he quotes outdated memes out loud. #at one point everyone except for me and my bf was on their phones #his grandfather shows me vulgar facebook posts #what is WRONG with people #im going to shower and change into my jammies and have a drink and watch something stupid #i need to cleanse myself of this whole. thing. #txt

[castdowns]

the only half way safe space to be a lesbian is online and literally y’all fucking suck too, i am so depressed

#castdowns.txt #i hate conversion therapy i don’t want to be straight i don’t want to like men i don’t like them i don’t care for them #i am so tired of feeling like the most hideous creature because everything changes when people find out that i’m gay #like i’m either a little boy or a problem and i am so fucking sad #like sorry you can’t fix me but literally i will not be able to function if i concede more ground to men and patriarchy like i am so tired #i wanna lock myself in my room a lot of the time like i don’t feel good ever #and yes my period is coming but god dammit thats not the only thing wrong #its never the only thing wrong unfortunately i just have very strong emotions that i try to suppress all of the time #yes my fawn response is bad i know this i dont know what to do about the fact that there is nothing people organically like about me #everyone has to train themselves to tolerate me and i am not above working to be loved but it doesnt feel like work towards the love i want #it feels like tying a noose tighter and tighter #it feels like smiling while my blood is pooling down the fucking drain again and again #and i love people around me i do it just always feels like i am alone #i sleep under the flag and i sleep in my bed alone every night surrounded by the stuffed animals i buy to feel something #*jo march voice* i’m just so damn lonely

[worstloki]

why does it feel like the mcu is trying so hard to cash in on making villains 'morally grey' because ancient artifacts/beings of power are influencing them (Wanda/the darkhold/Wenwu/the dweller in darkness/Gorr/the necrosword) but is also on-purpose side-stepping the OG Loki who was being affected by the mind stone in Avengers 1

#also this with characters being coerced like Bucky suddenly being accountable??? #Bucky who had his head literally messed with?? he was EXPLICITLY brainwashed?????? #Loki being tortured is nothing that needs to be addressed directly ever I guess??? #any possible memory issues are no problem for them i suppose #like..... bruhhhhhhh #I know it's easier to try and go oh Loki was bad the entire time since childhood but that's not what was set up #and there's been little attempt to properly retcon it so it comes off as everyone being a jerk to Loki for literally nothing #attempts to knock Loki down a peg fail because there is no higher peg he was on to begin with he JUST got defeated by Hulk like come on #he only JUST got away from Thanos' threats bc the TVA kidnapped him and now - WHAT - you're going to act like 1 year is his whole life #goodness #Thanos and losing it in Thor 1 didn't even come up with Mobius he kept talking about a future that wouldn't happen now :/ #what is up with Phase 4 trying to make characters sympathetic while trashing on other characters with the exact same reasons #Thor 4

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol????? #im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!! #im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing? #other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing????? #and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))

[sysig]

Beautiful gilded cage for a beautiful gilded bird (Patreon)

#Doodles #Helix #Max Vyer #Dexter Favin #Every time I reread Helix I'm just like ''Max is a bad person (affectionate)'' #I love him!! He's terrible!! ♥ #And for all the talk of how much he's been given - and it Has been a lot make no mistake #I just can't get over how often he was failed as well ♥ #Idle rich indeed ♪ #Honestly a lot of these thoughts are around Dex specifically but he only shows up for a few of them! #But a lot of Max's circumstances in general apply - his family and name and environment and what he's given passes on #Still thinking about the kind of life that would cultivate him! 'Cause he certainly doesn't have it haha #Also somewhat inspired by Aishite Aishite Aishite - always #Specifically the line ''No matter how large you grow the necklace stays small'' - here a cage rather than a necklace #Maybe he started small - maybe he's still small! But the expectations built around him with nothing to grow himself or his life #It does not encourage him to grow larger. It encourages him to stay small and satisfied with the small world erected to hold him in #Personally I don't think he ever got to the point where it would crush him haha <3 I love him but his motivations..... #He's a hedonist ♥ I love that about him tho - I deeply enjoy his characterization hehe #But I think if he ever Did grow he'd still have been stifled - simply a different tragedy from what actually occurred #Finally back to Dex haha - it's not just that Max was raised in a beautiful cage! His keeper(s) did just as much harm as good! #I don't think Dex ever intentionally tried to push him down but I can't help the feeling of....enjoying? Max relying on him #Feeling useful - Being useful - being paid to care for the little lord and growing a genuine affection for him #Coddling him and not letting him spread his wings because have you seen Max? He'll only hurt himself! Never letting him fail not really #It's something I'm familiar with. How it kills the soul even with the most admirable intention. #And by the time he finally escaped he was molded to the shape of the cage - even when he really hurt someone he was put right back in #Max is not a good person ♥ But I really wonder how much of that is 100% his own fault ♫