#not written: way and dean discussing the different ways they hurt Babe and how they feel about it while not talking about feelings at all

[oldsargasso]

ficlet: should've atoned by now

what if Way faked his death and ran away and also he started getting morning sickness? and called Kenta for help? and I've been having a lot of pack-related thoughts thanks to @le-trash-prince? (I'm about to respond to your asks I just had to get this out of my brain)

and then I wrote 1k of it? what if that happened.

way-centric. implied pete/way. (background kenta/dean + polycule if I were to actually finish this) warning for pregnancy & pregnancy termination

The first morning he throws up, Way thinks it's due to the awful hangover he's woken up with. He's never drinking curaçao again. No matter how fun the cocktails had been, it's not worth this. There's not a lot in his new apartment, but at least he'd picked up some groceries the day before yesterday. Once he can get off the floor—the lovely, cool, quiet floor—he'll figure out what to eat to settle his stomach.

The next morning, he's forced to reassess. He's not drunk, or hungover. Maybe a stomach bug, he thinks, brushing his teeth twice to get rid of the taste of bile.

A week of mornings later, he's forced to reassess again. It's probably not a stomach bug or a virus that's making him puke his guts up every morning while leaving him with no other side effects.

Pulling out his phone, he searches up possible causes. One particular answer comes up repeatedly. But—no chance. It's out of the question. They hadn't—but they had, Way's memory helpfully informs him. The second time that night. He doesn't know if Pete knew because he knew or if Way was just far too easy to read with his walls down. But that second time, Pete had spooned up behind Way and pushed inside him bare, whispering things into his shoulders that Way had forced himself not to hear.

Then they'd gotten up, gotten dressed, and gone to confront their father, and Way had consciously not thought about it in the three weeks since.

Way slumps back down next to the sink.

"Fuck," he tells the bathroom, voice rough after days without speaking to anyone.

There's only one way to know for sure. Somehow, when Way had been making plans upon plans, he hadn't thought to include a fucking doctor for his new identity. A stupid oversight. He'd gotten sloppy, distracted, the past few months.

Digging a denim jacket out of the depths of his closet, Way shoves a cap on his head and a mask over his face, and heads for the biggest chemist in town.

---

It feels too conspicuous to just buy a single pregnancy test. Wandering the aisles for a little while, Way tosses various other items into his basket. He'll probably never need a lavender-scented heat pack but hey, why not? Maybe the teenager working the register will think he's buying all this for a girlfriend or something. It’s still hard to shove down the desire to reach out and make someone like her just forget they ever saw him—Way does it despite the effort required. Crams the urge into one of the many boxes in his mind labelled DON’T and leaves it there to remain untouched.

Not, as Way finds out a few minutes later, that the teenager cares even the slightest bit about what Way is purchasing, beyond telling him the total and sighing impatiently when it takes him more than a millisecond to fumble his card out of his wallet. Taking the proffered bag and receipt, Way escapes from her judgemental glare.

He makes it home without getting stuck talking to his overly-friendly neighbour, which is a minor miracle in itself. Way's fairly certain the guy doesn't work, or do anything other than sit and stare out the window, waiting to ambush anyone passing by. Even pretending to be on the phone doesn't dissuade him, Way has unhappily discovered.

Half a bottle of water later, Way takes the test.

Then he takes half an hour to work up the courage to check the results.

"Fuck," he says emphatically at the awful cheerful positive indicator. "Fuck." How the fuck is he—how is Ice, 36 year old beta who recently quit his job in admin at a car dealership and moved to his mother's hometown after her untimely death—supposed to terminate a pregnancy? Without anyone knowing?

Several deep breaths and a shot of whiskey later, Way lines up all his contingency plans and goes through them all, one by one. Four hours later, he makes a single phone call.

---

Contingency plan #53 turns up four uncomfortable mornings later with an extremely uninvited companion.

"You tried to kill Babe, " Way says, ignoring Kenta's polite greeting.

"Sure did," Dean answers, all false bravado and trembling fingers. "Tried to kill Charlie too."

Way couldn't hold back the eye roll. "Obviously I don't care about that." He sighs. It still kinda hurts to start talking these days. He refuses to be one of those people that talks to themselves out loud all the time though.

"He only did it all that because I convinced him to," Kenta adds in a mild tone.

"Fuck off," Dean scowls at him. "You aren't the boss of me. You can't make me do anything." Kenta looks back, face impassive as usual.

"Come inside, " Way orders them both. "My neighbours are so nosy." He steps back to wave them through the door. Dean moves past him, close enough for their arms to brush. He smells like himself: warm cotton and frangipani, and he also smells like pack. It hits Way visceral and deep. The urge to pull his pack member, his pup, close and safe is overwhelming; Way's moving before the thought is even fully formed.

Dean's lost weight. His shoulder blades are so fragile under Way's hands. He's torn between the desire to squeeze tighter: to crush Dean down to a fine powder, and an intense longing to shove him into the comfortable chair in front of the TV and feed him until he's overfull. He does neither. Just holds an increasingly trembling Dean with both arms tight, tight, breathing deep of his scent until it’s all Way can sense.

The whole time, Kenta stands and stares at them. Unsurprising, really. He's probably still learning that humans have emotions. Way frowns at him just for fun, just to make him flinch, then goes back to burying his nose in Dean's hair.

"Welcome home," Way whispers and doesn't even complain when Dean gets the front of his shirt all wet.

#my fic #pit babe #cannot stop thinking about like. alphas being possessive of their packs #and then enigmas being more so? #that's why pete has such a saviour complex he's already adopted everyone into his pack #anyway I think way should have to live #not written: way and dean discussing the different ways they hurt Babe and how they feel about it while not talking about feelings at all #also not written: way making dean sleep next to him in the bed for pack bonding and kenta sleeping on the floor

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Late Night Talks

Summary: After a long hunt, the reader and Dean grab a late dinner on the road. Dean notices the reader not eating much and calls her out on her recent eating habits when he gets concerned about the road she’s on...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Square: Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 1,900ish

Warnings: language, discussion of disordered eating & eating disorders, fluff

A/N: Written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story Bingo! 

______

“I read this article earlier,” said Dean as he popped a french fry into his mouth. You were about five hours from home, eating a midnight dinner at some tiny little diner on the side of the road after a successful but exhausting ghoul hunt.

“Mhm,” you hummed, picking at a brussel sprout on your plate. 

“It was on disordered eating,” he said, picking up a piece of bacon that’d fallen onto his plate and eating it.

“You mean eating disorders,” you said, stabbing into the sprout and eating it before you went back to your dicing up your chicken tenderloin.

“No this was something different. It’s like, how some people shift into having an eating disorder, like pre disorder I guess.”

“So...was there something interesting in this article?” you asked, picking up a piece of chicken and taking a bite.

“Actually yeah,” he said. You chewed and took a few bites before he set the burger down and wiped off his hands. “It was about how there’s dangers involved with disordered eating since it could turn into something all consuming, like a full on eating disorder.”

“Well that sounds kinda obvious,” you said. 

“Well it was about how stuff like skipping meals, limiting your calories too much, saying some foods are good and others are bad, that stuff over time can really start to mess with your head and lead to that compulsion of being obsessed with food and weight.”

“Isn’t that just common sense,” you said. He hummed and you ate another piece of chicken before pushing the plate away. “I don’t know about you but I’m full.”

“Yeah, it is common sense,” he said. You raised an eyebrow and he pulled out his phone, tapping on it for a moment before spinning it around, showing you a number.

“Are you tracking my fucking calories?” you said.

“Oh geez, Y/N. Maybe cause you hit every red flag in that article I read and I got concerned. There’s no humanly possible way you’re full when you’ve eaten a whopping 800 calories today. You’re starving yourself.”

“I’m not hungry today, weirdo,” you said. 

“You were slow on that hunt and we both know why. You’ve been doing this for weeks really extremely and honestly, since I’ve met you.”

“I’m on a diet. You know that.”

“You’re on the ‘I’m fucking up my metabolism’ diet. Ah, that one’s a classic,” he said.

“Back off. I am not hungry lately is all.”

“Eat this,” he said, sliding his plate in front of you. He took your plate and started eating, staring at you. “Eat the burger.”

“I said-”

“Take one bite.”

“I’m not hungry,” you growled.

“Then take a bite and spit it out.” You picked up the burger, covered in cheese, bacon, peppers and a sauce that smelled so good. You swallowed and put it down, Dean shaking his head.

“Dean. I’m just not hungry.”

“Why won’t you take a bite?” he asked. You sighed and closed your eyes. “Y/N.”

“Because I’ll want to eat the whole thing and this has to be a thousand calories and I can’t eat that much, Dean. I’m on a diet.”

“Today I’ve seen you have three cups of coffee, a banana, and half of a small piece of chicken and a few brussel sprouts. You need to eat.”

“I need to lose weight.”

“For what?”

“I’m overweight.”

“Because a little stupid calculator online said so? So another stupid little calculator tells you how much food you’re allowed a day? But maybe you’re having a bad day so you tell yourself you don’t deserve to have even all of that already restricted food? So you make it even smaller to the point of, hm, what’s that word, disordered eating?”

You stared down at your lap and heard him get up, sliding into the booth beside you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you looked out the window.

“I do need to lose weight Dean. It’s true. I’m not supposed to be this big.”

“What are you supposed to be then?”

“Like that waitress. She’s small and thin. She’s healthy.”

“I see,” he said. She was working behind the counter, no one else in the place aside from a man at the other end and the cook. “Excuse me miss?”

She popped her head up and walked over with a tired smile.

“Can we get another bacon cheeseburger? And a big bowl of that ice cream sundae?” he asked.

“You got it,” she said, writing it down.

“One more thing,” said Dean. “Do you like the way you look?”

“Excuse me?” she said.

“Dean, shut up,” you said. “Please ignore him.”

“I mean, are you happy with your body? Do you eat whatever you want, wear whatever you want, never worry a second about what goes in it or how it looks? You’re a beautiful woman but what do you actually think of yourself?”

She was quiet for a few moments before she noticed the swapped plates in front of you.

“You know when you first asked that, I thought, you were being creepy. I get creepy guys in here a lot late at night. The cook is a big guy but it happens. I know I’m small. I wish I was stronger. I wish I looked like she does. I’m something that looks like they’d snap in the wind. She’s strong and has an ass and curves. She’s not a rectangle with no curves or chest. She doesn’t look like a guy. I wish I wasn’t so delicate but I don’t think I can change that much.”

“Probably not so much,” said Dean. “But I hear weight training is good for muscle building. Creeps are always creeps but might help to be able to deck ‘em.”

“Yeah. I’ll go put that order in for you guys,” she said with a smile. Dean turned his head back to you after she went through the double doors.

“Funny. You want her body. She wants yours,” he said. 

“She doesn’t know I’m overweight.”

“She doesn’t know how damn strong you are. Her body? She was right. She is delicate and it’d be a safe idea for her to put on some muscle given her job. You though? You I’ll worry to death over no matter what. But you’re missing the most glaring thing of all.”

“What?”

“You just said she doesn’t know you’re overweight. She doesn’t know how much you weigh. If she doesn’t know how does anyone know? Why does a number on a scale matter? Health does, don’t get me wrong, but care more about what your body can do than what size pants you fit in. It’s all bullshit anyways. You can be a small one place or a triple XL somewhere else. You can have a normal chest but be told it’s too big or too small by a different brand. I just don’t want to see you going down a path towards something worse where you’re hurting yourself.”

“I’d never hurt myself, Dean.”

“If your body is hungry and you don’t feed it, you’re hurting it. I’m talking about you’re cold, you’re starving, you have no energy, you feel like crap. But you won’t eat, not until it gets a little worse because you think you can take it because you’ve taken it before. That’s hurting yourself and you hurt yourself a lot sweetheart.”

You looked down and swallowed, taking a deep breath.

“I’m really cold right now,” you said quietly. “I’m tired of always being so fucking cold.”

“Eat,” he said, tugging his plate closer to you. “I’ll order you some soup too. That’ll warm you up.”

He took off his jacket and wrapped it over your shoulders. He kissed your cheek and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“I’ve been like this for years, Dean. I don’t know how people eat normally anymore.”

“I know. You probably fucked up your metabolism but we can unfuck it up too. You can be healthy but this, this isn’t healthy. I’ll do it with you but you gotta promise me you won’t starve yourself anymore.”

“I’ll try,” you said.

“I’ll take trying to start with,” he said. “I’m gonna order that soup. Eat up for me sweetheart. You’ll feel better soon. I promise.”

One Month Later

“Y/N!” shouted Dean from the kitchen as you walked past. “You eat lunch yet?”

“No,” you said. 

“Are you hungry?”

“A little. I was waiting for you to get done with Baby,” you said.

“What’d you eat so far?” he asked.

“I had a cup of coffee and a protein bar and for lunch I’m having one of those greek wraps I like,” you said. “Satisfied?”

“I’d prefer if you had two wraps or a wrap and snack with it,” he said. You grumbled and he sighed. “Y/N. You said I could take the lead on this.”

“I’m gaining weight,” you said.

“Yeah cause you aren’t eating what a toddler does in a day anymore which is perfectly healthy for a grown woman. I know it’s only been a month but you have so much more energy, you sleep better, you have less nightmares. Your skin looks amazing. So gain a few pounds, gain more than a few, let’s fix your metabolism and then we’ll start working out a little and we’re not gonna give a fuck how much we weigh at all and we’re gonna be the hottest fucking couple in this neighborhood I swear.”

“I like not feeling cold anymore,” you said with a small smile, Dean walking over and rubbing your arms. “It’s just...hard sometimes to not...wait to eat until your stomach hurts from no food. I’m figuring out what being hungry is again.”

“It’s gonna take some time but your body will learn again. We just gotta be extra nice to it right now while it recovers,” he said. “And then we’ll always be nice to it, right?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I promise.”

“So, one wrap or two?” he asked, opening the fridge.

“One. I’ll save the other for tomorrow. But maybe I’ll have some pita chips and hummus with it?” you asked.

“That sounds yummy,” he said. “I think I’ll have that myself.”

“You don’t have to eat my diet Dean,” you said.

“I could do with being nicer to my own body myself,” he said. “After lunch do you want to go for a walk? I have a sneaking suspicion the couple three blocks over are a pair of vamps.”

“That’s the guy with the skin condition, babe,” you said.

“Are you sure cause he got like a weird rash that one time.”

“It’s a condition,” you said with a smile. “But I would love to go for a walk with you while the day is still nice.”

“Sounds like a plan sweetheart,” he said, starting to take food out of the fridge. You walked over and gave him a hug from behind. 

“Thanks for saying something. Even if I tried pretending I was fine.”

“You’d do the same for me,” he said. “Come on, cutie. Let’s get some grub. I’m starving.”

________

#tell me a story bingo #supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn #spn fanfic #dean fanfic #dean x

[supernatural-fangirl1967]

I’ve Got You

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Injury, Fluff

Word Count: 2,214

Square Filled: Football Player AU (Fluff Bingo)

Square Filled: Lawrence Kansas (Genre Bingo)

Square Filled: Lawrence Kansas (Dean Bingo)

A/N: This was written for @spnfluffbingo, @spngenrebingo, and @spndeanbingo​.

You sigh when your phone ringing wakes you up. You want to be mad, but you see who’s calling and all the anger leaves you.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hi, baby,” you smile as you slowly sit up in bed.

“I hope that I didn’t wake you up.”

“It wouldn’t matter,” you tell him truthfully. “I’m always in the mood to hear your voice.”

“Same here, sweetheart,” Dean chuckles. “How are Mom and Dad treating you?”

“Good,” you tell him.

“But?”

“Nothing,” you sigh. “I’m used to living on my own is all.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t live alone. We’re married,” Dean chuckles.

“You know what I meant!” you laugh. “I live alone when you’re out of town, and living with my husband is a lot different than living with my in-laws.”

“You didn’t have to move out of our apartment if you’re uncomfortable living there with Mom and Dad.”

“I know,” you sigh. “But we both agreed that since the lease was up and we’ve been looking for an actual house that it seemed like the best time.”

“I promise you that we’ll go house hunting tomorrow when I get in.”

“Okay,” you smile widely.

“Or,” Dean says slowly. “You could fly in here and we could look around here.”

You take a deep breath. “Your parents are wanting us to stay here in Lawrence so that I’ll be near them when you’re away.”

“They don’t want those future grandbabies to live away from them,” Dean laughs.

“It will be nice to have their help.”

Dean sighs. “Yeah, but I’d like to have my family here with me.”

“Dean…”

“Maybe I should give all of this up, you know?” Dean tells you. “I mean, it was fine before I met you but now that we’re talking about having a family… (Y/N), it’s hard enough to be away from you.”

“I don’t want you to give up your dreams, Dean,” you tell him. “Being a football player, this is what you’ve always wanted and I don’t want to stand in your way.”

“Yeah, but things are supposed to be different when you have a family,” Dean tells you.

“Babe, we’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah,” Dean sighs. “You’re right, sweetheart. I’d better go. Practice today.”

“Alright,” you frown. “I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, (Y/N),” Dean tells you. “And you try to keep Sammy in line for me.”

“I will,” you laugh softly. “Bye, Dean.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

You hang up the phone and sigh as you throw it down onto the mattress. You know that you’re not going to be able to go to sleep now but you also are barely awake. You’re going to need coffee.

“There she is,” John says when you walk down the stairs. “We were worried about you.”

“I’m sorry that I slept so late,” you yawn.

“We’re more worried about why you had stayed up so late,” John tells you. “Couldn’t sleep?” You shake your head as you walk into the kitchen. “I heard you up walking around last night. Is something bothering you, or you decided to pull an all nighter?”

“John, don’t interrogate her before she gets down the stairs,” Mary tells him.

“I’m making sure that everything’s okay with her,” John says. “If she’s not in perfect health then Dean will kill us both.”

You laugh as you shake your head a bit. “I’m alright,” you tell him. “I couldn’t sleep because I was a little worried about Dean. I mean, I know that he doesn’t have the most dangerous job that there is.”

“But it’s not the safest job that he could have either,” Mary points out.

“You both should be proud of him,” John tells you.

“We are proud of Dean,” you tell John truthfully. “I’m happy that he’s following his dreams, but I wish that his dreams involved something a bit safer. And it isn’t like this whole long distance thing hit me as a surprise, but I would love to be able to see Dean everyday.”

“Yeah, I’m with you there,” John tells you.

The front door opens and you see Sam walk into the house. “I need to borrow (Y/N),” Sam says as he loos over at you.

“Take her,” John says.

“I love how willing you’re being to get me out of your hair,” you laugh as you walk over to Sam. “What do you need me for because I…”

“There’s something that I have to tell you, (Y/N),” Sam says as he pulls you onto the porch and he shuts the front door. “I wanted to tell you before I told Mom and Dad to give you a while to take it in.”

“Take what in?”

Sam swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “Dean was hurt during the practice today, (Y/N). Like really bad hurt.”

You look up at Sam and you blink. “What?”

“Dean told the doctor to call me right before he passed out. I guess that he didn’t want you to have to hear it over the phone.”

You feel your knees give out and Sam barely catches you before you hit the porch. “What happened?” you ask Sam as he wraps an arm around your waist to keep you standing.

“Dean took a hard fall and hit his head pretty hard.”

“Is he alright?” you ask Sam as tears well up in your eyes.

Sam takes a deep breath. “I don’t know, (Y/N), but they’re thinking that he has some serious brain damage. They’ll have to run some tests before they…” Sam trails off when he sees how pale you look. “You know what? Go get in my car and I’ll go tell Mom and Dad. (Y/N), you need to try to relax as much as you possibly can, okay? There’s no need to overthink right now until we know what’s going on with Dean.”

You swallow hard and you nod your head at Sam. He lets go of you and you walk on over to the car and get in the passenger’s seat. The next few hours are a blur to you. All you can focus on is when Sam reaches over to lay a hand onto your shoulder. You hear someone ask if you’re alright and you can barely manage a nod.

When the four of you finally get to the hospital, you expect to see Dean laying there unconscious and hooked up to all kinds of machines. So when you find him sitting up in bed with nothing but an I.V. and heart monitor hooked up to him, there’s no way that you’re able to stop the tears from falling.

“Dean!��� you holler as you walk over to his bed and wrap your arms tightly around him.

“I’m alright, sweetheart,” Dean tells you softly as he brings a hand up to gently thread his fingers through your hair.

“Sam said that they told him that you might have serious brain damage and…”

“Nothing serious, sweetheart,” Dean tells you softly. “A small concussion is all.”

“When I heard that you were hurt…”

“Shh, I promise that I’m alright and that it’s nothing serious, (Y/N),” Dean tells you as he pulls away a bit. “Look at me. See?” Dean tells you as he smiles widely at you. “I’m fine, honey.”

“You have a bruise,” you tell Dean as you softly rub your thumb over the black and blue spot on his forehead.

“A small little bruise that won’t even be there in a few days,” Dean tells you as he looks over at everyone else. “I hope you’ve been taking care of my girl,” Dean tells them as he gently pulls you down to sit beside of him on the hospital bed.

“Well, don’t be mad at us but she’s not been sleeping very well,” John tells him. “Or eating very much.”

Dean gives you a look as you give him a sheepish smile. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“(Y/N), I don’t want you to starve yourself for me, sweetheart,” Dean tells you softly. “I’m okay.”

“Yeah, clearly,” you tell Dean as you gently touch the bruise.

“Hey, a couple days of sleep and I will be out on that field…”

“What?” you ask him as your eyes widen a bit.

Dean gives you a look. “You didn’t seriously think that I was going to stop playing because of a little bump to the head.”

“Dean, what if it isn’t a little bump to the head next time? What if it’s something more serious like brain damage or what if you break something?”

Dean takes a deep breath as he looks over to see Sam and their parents. “Can we have a minute?”

“Yeah,” Sam tells Dean as he nods his head at him. “We will go down to the cafeteria to see what all they have for lunch.”

Dean nods and he waits until the door to the room is shut before he speaks up. “(Y/N), sweetheart, you can’t let this scare you like that.”

“I’m always scared, Dean,” you tell him truthfully. “Dean, you were passed out then they were talking about brain damage. Of course I’m scared. I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You aren’t going to lose me like that, baby,” Dean tells you softly as he presses a soft kiss to your shoulder. “(Y/N)…”

“I was too far away from you, Dean,” you choke out as you let the tears pour down your cheeks. “You were hurt and I wasn’t where I could be there.”

“You’re here now.”

“If something happened…”

“Nothing happened, baby. You’re here. I’m here. I’m fine.”

You sniff as you look Dean in the eyes. “I don’t like living there with you being here,” you tell Dean softly. “I love you, Dean, and when you do get hurt I want to be the person to know. I don’t want to have to hear about it from my brother-in-law because you didn’t think that it was something that I needed to hear about over the phone.”

“So do you want to move here?”

You swallow hard. “You want to move away from your family?”

Dean sighs as he reaches over to take your hand in his. “I don’t want to be away from you.”

“Why don’t we talk more about this when you’re better and we’re at home?”

Dean takes a deep breath. “This really isn’t something that I want to discuss in my parent’s house.”

“Well, maybe we could find somewhere to rent that doesn’t have a long-term lease.”

“Yeah,” Dean sighs as he nods his head.

“Hey, I’m glad that you’re okay and you’re not seriously hurt.”

Dean smiles at you as he nods his head a bit. “Me too, baby.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sigh as you look through the hundredth box, picking up one of the pillows that you find there and throwing it against the wall.

“Woah. What did that poor pillow do to you, sweetheart?” Dean laughs.

You look over at Dean as he walks through the front door and sigh. “I hate living out of these stupid boxes.”

Dean chuckles as he walks over to you. “What’re you looking for?”

“Plates,” you tell Dean as you look up at him from where you’re sitting on the floor.

Dean smirks at you as he walks over to the cabinet, pulling down a couple of plates and setting them down on the kitchen island. “I unpacked a few things hoping that it would make it easier on you to find them.”

“Thanks, baby,” you smile as you stand up off of the floor and walk over to Dean. Dean wraps his arms tightly around your waist so you turn your head to look up at him. “How are you feeling, Dean?” you ask him as you look him in the eyes.

“You don’t have to keep asking me that,” Dean chuckles as he shakes his head a bit at you. “I’m fine, though.” You take a deep breath and you nod your head. “You know, there’s a house five minutes away from here that I think would be good to look at.”

You give Dean a look. “But I thought that you wanted to move…”

Dean takes a deep breath. “The local high school is needing a football coach and I figured that it would be safer.”

“Dean,” you breathe out as you look up at him. “If this isn’t what you’re wanting to do then…”

“Hey,” Dean says softly as he gently grabs onto the tops of your arms. “I’m still doing what I’m supposed to do. From a different point of view but it’s the same thing.”

“Dean, don’t do this for me because I can find a way to live with our arrangement.”

“I’m not,” Dean tells you as he shakes his head a bit at you.

“Dean…”

“This is for us,” Dean tells you softly as he takes your chin in his hand and gently tilts your head up so that he can look you in the eyes. “It would’ve drove me crazy living like that, especially if we have kids. This way’s better for everybody.”

You smile up at Dean and you nod your head at him. “As long as you’re happy.”

“I’ve got you,” Dean smiles widely at you. “So that makes me the happiest man alive.”

Tags: @polina-93​​ @campingmonkey​

#spnfluffbingo #SPNGenreBingo #spndeanbingo #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #SPN #fanfic

[pinknerdpanda]

Yippie-Ki-Yay

Word Count: 1,080 Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean Warnings: Fluff, friendly competition, Dean being Dean Requested by: @princessmisery666​ Beta’d by: @shy-violet-soul​ - you are a lifesaver and a light in my life. I love you.

A/N: This was written for my Merry Manda Christmas Drabbles. This is a one shot, but I wrote it as a pseudo continuation of a story I’ve done the past two years for my Christmas drabbles. If you’re interested, you can read them here: The Bet & The Bet: Round 2. But this can definitely be enjoyed as is. Also, I’m the reader. I’ve never seen Die Hard. It’s on my Christmas Bucket list this year. lol

Gif Credit x

Yippie-Ki-Yay

“No cheating, Jolly Green! Keep your eyes to yourself!”

You fling an elbow behind you and connect with the youngest Winchester’s stomach. He lets out a soft groan but starts chuckling and you’re sure you hadn’t really hurt him. Though you kinda wish you had - at least a little bit.

“How is that cheating?” 

You’re too focused on the task at hand to look at him, but you can hear the smirk in his voice. That cheeky, adorable, competitive bastard. 

“Spying on the competition? Totally cheating.” You dip your finger into the gooey, green substance and fling it in his direction.

“Hey!” He grumbles before tossing a few brightly colored sprinkles back at you.

“Stop distracting me, Sam! This whole thing was your stupid idea!”

And it had been.

It all started on the drive home from Boise when you were discussing your favorite Christmas movies. Yours was a classic - National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Who doesn’t love watching Cousin Eddie emptying the shitter into the sewer in his bathrobe? The scene at the end where Clark goes nuts on everyone never fails to make you double over in a fit of laughter.

The brothers, however, had said in unison - as they often do - “Die Hard.”

“That’s not even a Christmas movie!” You’d argued.

The looks you’d received from both Sam and Dean showed you just how disgusted they were with your response. Matching expressions of incredulity bore down on you from the front seat and you wished you could have burrowed into the soft leather of Baby’s backseat instead.

Dean whipped his attention back to the road, but Sam had continued to stare.

“Well, it’s not. It’s about, like, bombs and stuff, right?” 

It had been the worst thing you could have said in your defense. Well, the second worst.

“Have you ever seen Die Hard, y/n?” Sam’s gaze narrowed at you.

“Well, no.”

That was it. That was the worst.

Dean had nearly ran the car off the road at your admission.

“Are you fucking serious!?” He’d shot a death glare back at you after maneuvering the vehicle back to safety.

“I just, I dunno, I never did.”

“Well that changes as soon as we get back to the bunker.” Sam’s tone had been drenched in finality. 

That was the worst thing he could have said. Nothing made you want to not do something more than being told you had to.

You’d crossed your arms, arching an eyebrow as you’d glared back at him.

“No.” 

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Sam snorted. 

“I mean, no. I have lived this long without seeing it. So I don’t see any reason that has to change now, just because you said so.” You’d tipped your chin up, looking pointedly away from his stupid face.

“Alright, how about this,” Sam had turned his large frame in the seat to face you as best as he could in the limited space. “How about we have a little friendly competition and the winner gets to pick the movie we watch that night.”

How you’d ended up making that “little friendly competition” into a cookie decorating contest, you can’t remember. All you know is that you have this in the bag. You think.

“30 seconds, bakers!” Dean barks from his perch at the table before taking a swig of beer.

You quickly put the finishing touches on your cookie art, drape a napkin over your work and step back just as the timer dings. Sam grunts and you can’t tell if it’s because he’s happy with the result or not, but you’re hoping for not.

“Alright! Let’s do this!”

Dean makes a big show of flicking out a napkin and tucking one corner just inside the collar of his flannel shirt.

“Ladies first,” Dean gestures for you to step forward.

You look at Sam, jerking your head towards his brother.

“You heard him, Sammy. You’re up.”

Sam tips his head to one side, his lips folding into a deep, dissatisfied frown as he rolls his eyes. Dean wheezes, clapping his hands, clearly approving of your joke.

“Hilarious, y/n.” Sam’s tone couldn’t have been drier.

“Alright, alright,” you step forward, placing your tray in front of Dean. “Don’t get your panties in a knot, Winchester.”

You tug the napkin off the tray with a flourish, revealing three snowman cookies. Each one has a different expressions on their fluffy white faces and their scarves are intricately designed with shades of green, red and yellow.

Dean grins at you, obviously impressed.

“I don’t know, Sam. You may be in trouble.” Dean tsks. “Let’s see what you’ve got, little brother.”

Sam approaches the table, tray in hand. Up to this point you’d felt pretty secure in your work, but at the moment Sam’s dimple is mocking you as he shoots you a self-satisfied grin. Bastard.

Sam hadn’t bothered with a napkin to elicit any kind of suspense so he just places the tray next to yours and stands back. He crosses his arms over his chest before turning and winking at you.

You lean over to find a tray of four, simple, round sugar cookies. Each cookie bears a single word, and while you don’t really understand the meaning, you have a feeling you are doomed.

“Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!” Dean reads the cookies and roars with delight. “I think we have ourselves a winner! I’m gonna go get the movie set up. Saddle up, y/n. You’re about to be schooled.”

Dean chuckles, grabbing one of your beautifully crafted snowmen and biting his head off cleanly. He grunts approvingly before grabbing another.

“Damn, these are good!” His voice fades as he saunters out of the room

Sam’s lips twitch, clearly trying to suppress a broad, victorious smile. It’s so adorable, you can’t help but giggle.

“Well played, Samantha,” you sass, “well played.”

Sam’s hands find your waist, pulling you forward as he presses a sweet kiss against your lips. He grips your hand and leads you out of the room and after Dean.

“Come on babe. A deal’s a deal.” He grins.

“Well, I suppose there are worse ways to pay up,” you offer. “Remember that time you had to slide down the stairs?”

Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “You mean the time you were checking out my ass right before I almost died.”

“Oh, Sam.” Leaning up, you place a kiss against his cheek before whispering in his ear. “I was checking out your ass long before that night.”

---

Like what you see? Want more? My Masterlist is here. Thanks for reading! :) 

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#Sam Winchester #Sam Winchester x Reader #sam x reader #sam fluff #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #merry manda's christmas drabbles #merry manda 2019 #panda writes #i lost my queue

[jae-canikeepyou]

| untold | j.jh

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader genre: angst + fluff a/n: idk but i just feel like breaking your hearts. badly written bc ur girl doesn’t proof read at all hahaha :p fluffy ending since angst endings hits the heart hard. anyway enjoy reading~

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

a sigh from your boyfriend made the atmosphere more tense than before. you both had arrived to his apartment. even at the car earlier, he did not say a word. however the silence was enough for you know what was on his mind.

your friends and acquaintances did say lucky you, for you to hung out with the campus’ star and he didn’t seem to dislike your presence. it hasn’t been a year since you’ve said yes and gotten together with him. he was on every girl’s head and the man of their dreams. it wasn’t all luck and good times though. there’ve been fights with jaehyun, so often that you both had on each other’s nerves. it was normal to fight.

but to jaehyun? not so much.

especially when your relationship was a secret to everyone.

jaehyun sat tiredly on the sofa, no energy to even change his clothes. he looked at you where your heavy eyebags became more visible each day. you wanted to speak but you did know what you were getting yourself into when you did.

you huddled yourself beside him, in hopes he would talk to you. he had his arms wrapped around your waist. “y/n, why are we still doing this in secret?”

“do i have to explain myself again, jae?” you asked. “my parents.. they’re kind but they’re also strict and it’s hard to get my words to them.”

“i know but it’s hard on me too. as a man it kinda hurts my pride when my girlfriend’s.. afraid of what people might think and-”

“it’s not that i’m afraid..” you sighed as you rubbed circles on his palms.

“look, i’m fine if you wanted to keep us a secret at school, but i’m not gonna spend time pretending when i’m off-school too.”

ouch. you didn’t know how much the wound had hurt him, his honey voice turned bad. it was hard for him to endure months of hiding your relationship from everyone, his and your parents included.

you didn’t utter a word after he said that, even if you had a lot of things to say. he might view them as excuses. on the other hand, jaehyun understood the results of dating the daughter of the dean. yes, which explained why you were hard to get, closed off from dating and to focus on academics. your parents had eyes on you 24/7, but you knew they were doing it for your own good.

but he saw it differently and probably took it as a challenge. you were shackled from your parents’ discipline and orders. he knew you were kindhearted and loved them a lot so in one time during lecture, he befriended you and thought you were fun to be with despite not having friends who were ladies. and in the process of getting to know you, he fell in love.

“just a little longer i promise i’ll tell them.” you said softly.

“really? they’ll probably be cross if you tell them now. we should’ve told them when we were still new.” he slid his body to sit on the carpeted floor. his voice colder than usual. “might’ve changed their minds.”

“do you think i got a choice? i’m at a hard place right now.” you furrowed your brows.

he scoffed a laugh, a bitter one. “you got a choice to either break their rules or break my heart.” he spat in a higher tone. “choice, right?”

your quarrels with him were always about this certain topic. nothing else. your eyes stung with thin air, forming tears that you didn’t want them to fall. they did and there was no helping to it. a sniff from you made jaehyun turn around.

he never saw you cry, and it broke his heart seeing your weak self coping with the situation. his mind thought of a lot things that maybe he was too harsh on you. maybe he had put more pressure than it did before you both dated. but who knew? for now he just wanted to stop the innocent tears that were damping his clothes.

you felt constant rubs on your knees, probably his way of comfort as this was a first for him. he was facing you but you chose not to look at him in the eyes. “why does it sound like you think you’re not worth for me?”

jaehyun shot up at your words. “y/n i didn’t mean-”

“or am i not worth it to be yours? you got my heart but it seemed like you didn’t take it fully.” you said between hiccups. “ever since i told you about my parents.”

“nonono babe.” he pulled you to his embrace where you were wrapped by his frame. “you are worth it. i’m just frustrated at the fact that i’m not seeing things in a bigger picture. please don’t think that i don’t love you enough.”

you just sobbed and to him this was new. jaehyun nuzzled himself onto your neck. “oh y/n, i just think saying out loud means it’s real.”

“and hiding us does not make us real?” you sniffed, only to be stopped when your phone buzzed. “i gotta take this.”

jaehyun hit himself internally. stupid. he heard tiny voices telling him he has a handsome face but a fire tongue— qualities of a turn-off.

“hi mom.” your hoarse voice echoed the living area. “no no i’m not crying. i’m not feeling well that’s all. mhm..”

your soft voice and the growing anxiety made jaehyun shuffle in the sofa several times. he only saw your parents from afar and truly they seemed to be people of hard approach, let alone to last a good conversation with them.

“what?”

jaehyun’s heart couldn’t stop from feeling anxious. any word from your parents have always caused him to flinch or to cross his arms.

“you saw me earlier?”

busted..

“y-you want to meet him?”

oh man..

jaehyun practically nudged you, panicking like he did something wrong. however your mother’s tone seemed eager, open and kindhearted than most days. you pressed the call on mute as your eyes shot daggers to your boyfriend, well at least to him that was how it looked like.

“what did she say?” jaehyun bit his lips.

you sighed heavily, but a smile from you was not noticeable for jaehyun to see. “my parents wants have dinner with us tomorrow.”

his expression was as if his soul had left him. “ah r-really?”

you decided to unmute the call. “mom, i think- oh.. i see..” you covered your mouth.

jaehyun had a lot of things in his mind. whatever the outcome, he thought he would be ready for it. his body couldn’t take the silence as he saw you listening to your mother, staring into space.

“okay. we’ll be there. love you too. bye.” you ended the call.

jaehyun has his arms all over the place, plopped down onto the sofa while hitting his head onto a pillow. a bit dramatic but that was because he doesn’t know, yet. “babe! i didn’t agree on this!” he complained, later scoffed at the thought of meeting your parents sooner than expected.

“you didn’t. but your parents agreed.” you said.

“of course i did not- wait what?” his brows knotted. “what did you say?”

“it’s your parents who agreed for the dinner tomorrow.” you shrugged as you tapped his shoulders for him to sit with you on the sofa.

he was still dumbfounded. you waved your hands in front of him. “babe, my mom just told me she’s best friends with your mom.”

“ha?” he asked, looking more dumbfounded. “if that’s the case what’s the point of us doing this in secret?” he groaned, his body slowly laying down.

“i’m sorry..?” you singsonged. “jae, we didn’t know they’re best friends.” you wiggled his sloppy body, a laugh escaping from your lips as he pulled you to his chest.

you got up to where your hands rested on his, admiring him when his smile shocked you. “you’re not angry anymore?”

he pecked your lips, his hands instinctively cupping your neck. “i’m not.”

“isn’t this good for the both of us? i mean we could-”

“i’m very angry at you for making me think the call was gonna be the end of us!” he lifted you in a bridal style, spinning you around. “the short silence was too scary!”

“like the heck i know it’s gonna be a dinner!” you laughed. you felt your body being put down.

jaehyun caressed your cheeks again, kissing you like he did earlier. “did your mother say anything else?”

“if i tell you, will you not freak out? or melt?” you asked with your hands gesturing in the air.

“if that’s what my girl wants, i’ll try not to.” his chuckled.

“you know my parents didn’t want me to date, right?” you bit your lips. jaehyun stared into your eyes, waiting for an answer. “well, my mom met your mom to discuss about me because she had a hunch i was dating. so when she saw us earlier, she took a picture and showed it your mom.”

“and?” he trailed his word.

“your mom was like ‘that’s my son!’ and basically my mom felt giddy because she wanted her best friend’s son for.. me.” you said in one breath, deciding not to repeat it again.

you looked to jaehyun, who was now holding in a smile. he wanted to be a man of his word, but couldn’t anyway because it was about you. “isn’t this kind of an arranged marriage?” he asked.

“i wouldn’t say it’s arranged..” you trailed off. “more like.. destined?”

jaehyun had reached his limit, his body collapsing onto the carpeted floor. you laughed as his ears reddened than before. “i don’t like this! i’m too happy to even look at you right now!” he grabbed and hugged onto a nearby stuffed animal he got from ikea.

“i guess everything’s okay now.” you stood there as you looked down at jaehyun. 

“help me up babe.” he acted cute but you weren’t buying it. “please?”

“fine.” you brought forth your hands, only to be pulled down to the floor with jaehyun.

“i love you so much.”

#jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun nct #nct 127 #nct #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun oneshot

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XVIII)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Offended (part II)

(6x03/6x06/6x07)

Hello my friends! This is another volume from my Destiel Chronicles. The second part of "Offended".

I want to give special thanks to my dearest friend @agusvedder , this time she couldn't make the gifs, but she helped me with the discussion! Thank you girl!

Ok, now... Let's go straight to the point.

Castiel in angel soldier mode

Coming back to episode 6x03, Dean is witness of Castiel's soldier mode behavior.

The angel moves fast appearing and disappearing (we need to recall this chapter was written by Edlund, and he loves to write angels as dynamic forces, and make Dean yelling FREAKING ANGELS! Everytime he is in the middle of this) So Cas was moving around, fighting with some angels, and being very risky with a kid, touching his soul for information. That was an alert alarm for Dean.

Sam is soulless, so, he can't understand the concern about hurting a kid, and he is more on line with Castiel's soldier mode behavior. In the middle is Dean that can't believe CAS is doing such a thing to a boy.

Cas is so accelerated that Dean needs to stop him somehow. The angel gave just a little of information to their friends.

CASTIEL: It is simple: Raphael and his followers, they want him to rule Heaven. I -- and many others -- the last thing we want is to let him take over. It would be catastrophic.

SAM: You're talking civil war.

CASTIEL: Technically, yes. Which is why we have to find Balthazar and his weapons before Raphael does. Whoever has the weapons wins the war.

So he didn't explain the details, but it was enough there...

Pointing here the fact that Dean is seeing Cas in his soldier mode, is a behavior he will have the whole season, and he will repeat I'M AT WAR a lot of times, as an excuse.

And I'm not forgetting this manner...

CASTIEL: If the angel we seek truly bought this boy's soul, when a claim is laid on a living soul, it leaves a mark, a brand.

Now... This topic had been analyzed a lot here, it would explain the handprint in Dean's shoulder and it also would explain why Sam was pulled out from Hell without a soul by Cas... He couldn't claim his soul (bc it was very difficult to do it by himself). Just a Destiel observation.

Let's jump now to the next episode.

Dean is mad at Castiel bc he doesn't pay attention to their problems

In episode 6x06 "You Can't Handle The Truth", we had just one scene with Castiel but with a huge intensity.

First of all... The episode begins with Bobby and Dean and this question...

BOBBY: Did you call Cas?

DEAN: 'Course I called Cas. He's not answering. Screw him. I can't wait anymore.

Dean is worried about Sam's behavior. He doesn't know what is going on with his brother and he just saw him how he waits for him to be turned into a vampire by a monster. So he had been calling Castiel. And Cas doesn't answer.

This is new for him, bc till now, Cas was there for them. And he was helping them. But since he returned to Heaven, things changed. And Dean felt he was let behind. And he can't understand why Castiel isn't there for him. Or why he isn't worried about Sam. He's so mad at Castiel bc of that. Bc he isn't there for him. Remember season 4? When they first met as I wrote in one of the first chronicles... Dean was pushing Castiel the whole time asking him for help, and he got mad when CAS didn't help him. And they just met! So this time is worst, bc they already are best friends, and Cas isn't there! So yes, Dean is mad at him.

And when Castiel finally appears... It shows...

DEAN (drains a glass of whiskey.) Castiel? Hello? Possible loose nuke down here, angelic weapon. Kinda your department. You hear that, Cas?

The way Dean is calling Cas is like if he wouldn't expect for the angel to show... But Castiel appeared... Bc Dean named an angelic weapon. Useful to the war.

CASTIEL appears. Hello, Dean.

DEAN: Are you kidding me? I have been on red alert about Sam, and you come for some stupid horn?!

CASTIEL: You asked me to be here, and I came.

DEAN: I -- I've been asking you to be here for days, you dick!

Look how mad is Dean. And Castiel's answer doesn't helps. The hunter feels like Cas is avoiding him about Sam's soul but, by the other hand, he mentions an angelic weapon and Cas is there. And Dean is calling Cas dick! He is very, very angry with him.

Now... It comes the excuse...

CASTIEL, abashed. I didn't come about Sam because I have nothing to offer about Sam.

DEAN: Well, that's great, because for all we know, he's just gift wrap for Lucifer.

Ok, we have one important matter here... Cas had pulled Sam out of hell... But the boys don't know that, so... Cas is avoiding this bc he is lying to them. (Yeah.. beautiful Gamble's plot... Transforming an ALWAYS HONEST CHARACTER into a LIAR ONE).

So... Now Cas is seeing how distressful Dean is about his brother's behavior and about him not paying attention to his prayers... And he decides do something to calm him down...

He refills Dean's glass with whiskey while he explains Dean's biggest fears about his brother being Lucifer is imposible.

And why am I so sure about this gesture was made with that intention? Because we will have the parallel in episode 6x09 "Clap your hands if you believe" (Edlund's) in which after being kidnapped, Dean returns to find his brother with a woman in the bed. So he was so mad at him, that Sam decides to give him a glass of whiskey.

The difference here is the huge sexual tension between Dean and Cas.

Dean misses HIS CAS

When Dean was more calm, he tries to talk with CAS...

DEAN: What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one.

CASTIEL: I'm at war. Certain... regrettable things are now required of me.

Is obvious Dean misses HIS CAS. The one that was there just for him.

And the excuse "I'm at war" is there again. And then... Castiel disappears again!

This made Dean get mad again...

But Cas appears again. And he sees Dean is mad at him. So he tries another strategy.

He promise he will help him.

This was a lovers fight, my friend, right in front of our eyes... Because you'll see... Dean is the husband that reclaims more attention from his husband and Cas is trying to please him with flowers and chocolates...

"Sorry babe, I know I wasn't at home these days, the work is demanding me more hours but I will take you for dinner next Sunday! It's a Promise!"

Is so hilarious but so accurate...

But it seems that Cas didn't take Dean for dinner and this is what we had in episode 6x07...

Dean bossy with Cas

In episode 6x07 "Family Matters" Cas is trying to make a diagnosis about Sam, and he discovers he's soulless...

But we will talk about the Destiel fight here...

Dean is being so bossy with Cas... Like if he was his servant or something. And Cas is being submissive, of course... because he didn't take Dean out for dinner... And Dean is mad again.

Not just this but... When they went to see Samuel, their grandfather, this scene...

SAMUEL: This Castiel? You're scrawnier than I pictured.

CASTIEL: This is a vessel. My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler building.

DEAN: All right, all right, quit bragging. So, you were dead, and...

Dean is cutting Castiel out, and is hilarious... But after this... Castiel has to come back to Heaven, because "he's at war", and Dean gave him a last order... In a bad way...

Cas is being sarcastic here... And we have another parallel with Bobby in episode 6x04. Bobby scolded the boys because they put their problems first. And is exactly what Cas is saying here.

So... Another lovers fight. And Dean being a jiltter offended husband.

And I'm keeping the "taking off my belt while liking my lips and watching you SUGGESTIVELY" scene for another chronicle...

To conclude

Dean was mad at Cas because he was putting the war over his problems.

He misses HIS CAS, the one that was always there for him. And he is disappointed about the way Cas is behaving.

Castiel tries hard to be in two sides at the same time and to please Dean helping him when he can, but he's also aware about Dean's selfishness.

I hope you like this meta! C-u in the next one!

If you want to be tagged just let me know.

If you want to read the previous Chronicles, here's the links...

Vol. XV/Vol. XVI/Vol. XVII

Buenos Aires July 3rd 2019 10:31 PM

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast

@emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel

#destiel chronicles #supernatural meta #destiel meta #season 6 meta #vol. xviii

[imagining-supernatural]

As It Seems: Chapter 15

Table of Contents

Según Parece: Lista De Contenidos

Summary: Sam comes and mediates between you, Dean, and Crowley while you discuss theories about what's going on

Word Count: 3041

Warnings: None

Beta’s by: @kclaire1 who is amazing for weathering all of my weird spazzy freaked-out emails about writers block and general life craziness!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

~~Reader’s POV~~

“Hey,” Sam nodded at us when he sat down next to Crowley.

After I’d hung up with Addy, we’d called Sam and had him meet us at a diner in town. Dean set Crowley’s nose as well as he could and we ignored his complaints the entire way to the diner.

“Finally.” Crowley’s voice was much more nasally than normal, which would have been funny if he hadn’t just threatened my niece’s life. “The level-headed one arrives.”

“What happened to your nose?”

“I broke it,” I answered.

Sam just raised an eyebrow and looked between the three of us. “Looks like you should have called me sooner.”

“Honestly, I should have done worse.”

Even the memory of it made my anger bubble up again. I didn’t care that we were in a very public diner. If Crowley said a single thing about my niece, I would deck him again right in the middle of his bruised face.

The waitress came over just then to take our orders. I saw the way she eyed Dean, but before my anger could turn to jealousy, Dean leaned over and put his arm around me. With his lips at my ear, he whispered, “You’ll get another chance to beat the hell out of him later, babe. Let’s just let Sam do the talking and enjoy the food, okay?”

“No promises.” Turning my head, I caught his eyes that were inches from mine and I smiled a little. “But I’ll try.”

“Good,” he grinned and kissed me quickly before turning his attention to the menu and waitress, who had the decency to back down and treat all four of us as I assumed she would treat any other group of customers. It was a much different experience than that bitch at the bar in the other timeline.

We all ordered, Crowley bitching about how it was going to hurt to chew, then she left and Sam got right down to business.

“So, what’s going on? How did we get sent to another timeline?”

“Crowley said something about witches or angels or maybe a Titan and he vetoed our Djinn suggestion,” Dean supplied. “But he doesn’t have anything solid.”

“Excuse you, Winchester. If your girlfriend hadn’t punched me, I would have told you about the time wraith that seems to be the most promising explanation.”

“Time wraith?” I nearly laughed. “Like in The Flash?”

“The Flash?” Crowley asked, and Dean looked confused as well. On Dean it was endearing. On Crowley, the confusion just made me want to punch him again.

“Yeah. The show on the CW? Dude runs so fast that he can go backwards or forwards in time and if he changes things too much then the time wraiths come after him to try to kill him and even out the balance of the universe or something.” Neither one seemed to know what I was talking about, but Sam was on the same page as me. We had similar interests in the other timeline, so it made sense that we would share interests here too. “It’s a good show.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “But it’s a show. Fiction. Time wraiths aren’t real, Crowley.”

“Well, neither are demons in this timeline, yet here I am.”

“Human. Here you are human.”

“If you’re human here, does that mean that Cas is here too somewhere? Human?” I asked.

“I don’t think so. He wasn’t in that hotel room with us.” Honestly, if I heard Crowley’s nasally British accent throw down another one of our ideas, I was going to completely lose it. But Sam and Dean were shaking their heads too, so I supposed Crowley had some weight behind his words this time. “Though his meatsuit probably is. What was his name? Johnny?”

“Jimmy Novak.”

“Ah, yes.” The theatricality behind everything Crowley did was really testing my nerves. “Good ol’ Jimmy. See, for some reason, the supernatural isn’t real here, or at least not quite as big of a deal. So if Feathers never had a reason to come down to earth, he never needed to inhabit a meatsuit. If Castiel exists over here, he’s probably still up in heaven with a robe and a harp.”

“Claire. Her dad is Jimmy. How’d she end up with Jody if there’s no Cas in this timeline?” We were getting off track, but I couldn’t help my curiosity with this line of questioning. “And Alex. Vampires aren’t real here. She couldn’t have gotten caught up with a nest.”

“Claire’s dad took off a few years ago and her mom kinda got lost, so Claire went down a bad road. I found her on one of my missions and took her to Jody,” Dean explained. “As for Alex, vampire nests aren’t real, but cults still are. A few years ago the team found a cult that was trying to overturn Nebraska’s entire state government. Alex’s cult.”

Trying to figure out how things worked out between the two timelines was really starting to mess with my head. Well, not starting to mess with my head. More like continuing to mess with my head. If I came out of this with even one shred of my sanity intact, I would consider that a win.

“Can we get back to the subject at hand?” Crowley broke in impatiently. “Getting us back to our proper timeline?”

Dean must have felt how tense I got at his words because he tightened his hold around my shoulder. “Dude, we’re not going back.”

“Speaking of going back,” I said, looking at Dean. “We probably need to get back to the office soon. Your company can handle a few days without you there, but it needs me to keep running so…”

“We’ll see what everyone thinks. But you’re probably right. Ash can hook up something to get any messages you got on your phone until we get back to your place and—”

“Would you two shut up!” Crowley exclaimed. “We have bigger problems at hand than some pitiful business. We have an entire world waiting for us to save it from the freaking Titans.”

“If we shut up and let you talk about your stupid time wraiths, will you leave us alone?” I asked, knowing that the answer was no.

Crowley, however, took that as an opportunity to begin talking.

“I’d only heard of time wraiths back in the other timeline, so I know that they’re real and not some figment of someone’s imagination over here. They’re supposedly like reapers in the sense that they aren’t really evil or good, but they just do their job.”

“And their job is…” Dean prompted.

“To keep the balance of time,” Sam said slowly, forehead creased as he tried to remember something. “I think I read about them during a case a few years ago. It’s coming back to me now. They kind of keep watch over the world or something like that. I didn’t really understand.”

Crowley nodded. “Time wraiths are the reason that the angels always wiped the minds of the people you saw when they sent you zooming around to the past and future. If they hadn’t, then the wraiths would have come for them as well as everyone in the past who remembered.”

Dean sat forward, forearms resting on edge of the table. He was getting into this, and it scared me. This was a puzzle and Dean wanted to solve it, which I understood. I wanted to figure this out too. I was just scared that in the process, he would figure out how to get back to the other timeline and he would want to go. And if I was the key, how could I say no to something the Winchesters wanted? How could I be that selfish?

“So when Henry came to 2013, if we had sent him back in time like he wanted, would that have caught the time wraiths’ attention?”

Sam nodded shallowly. “I think so. It makes sense, anyway. Whenever I’ve thought of time travel, going forward in time didn’t seem too disruptive because the future isn’t written yet. But when you go back in time and change things—”

“Like Balthazar with the Titanic.”

“But we dealt with one of the Fates then, not a time wraith,” Sam pointed out, looking over at Crowley. “What if this isn’t a time wraith?”

“I’m fairly certain it is a time wraith. The Fates deal with death and mortality. In the case of the Titanic disaster, the Fate just wanted everyone who should be dead to be dead. She couldn’t change the past and fix what Balthazar did.” Crowley was looking straight at me, almost like he was trying to silently communicate with me. What the hell did he want me to get from his words? Something about changing the past? What’s should be dead should—

Addy.

“Listen, Crowley. If you want to have a snowballs chance of convincing me to change my mind and help you, then you have got to stop threatening Addy. If you don’t change your tune soon, then I will keep you here just out of spite.”

The waitress came back with our food but I’d suddenly lost my appetite. Spite wasn’t a good enough reason to make these kinds of decisions. Sure, spite was a good motivator for things like losing weight or going to a good school. Things to prove other people wrong. But using spite as a tool when the entire balance of the world was a stake? The entire balance of two worlds, even?

Spite and selfishness. What was that saying? Sugar and spice and everything nice. That’s what little girls are made of? Well I was made of spite and selfishness and everything bad.

I was the worst person to have this weight on my shoulders. I wasn’t the hero that Sam and Dean were. I didn’t know how to sacrifice what I wanted for the good of the world.

*****

Self-reflection sucked. Trying to divine my true motivations and needs only served to take me on a highlight reel of all of my mistakes in life. Well, lives. Both of them. I’d shut myself away in the bedroom as soon as we got to Bobby’s to try and figure my shit out, but all that came out was tears.

The door opened and I quickly turned my face away, wiping at the moisture on my cheeks.

“Hey, I brought you some food since you didn’t really eat much at breakfast,” Sam said, closing the door behind him. I couldn’t see him, but I could practically hear the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out why I was sitting in the dark. The darkness was better for introspection and self-loathing.

“I’m not hungry.” The excuse was meaningless, I knew. Sam was going to press until he figured out what was going on with me whether I wanted him to or not.

He set the plate of cheese and crackers down on the bed and came to sit next to me on the couch. “Are you doing okay? Obviously not. You’re crying.”

“Sam, please just…” I turned away from him again, rubbing at my eyes and trying to will myself into a numb, emotionless state. Unfortunately, I hadn’t quite mastered that skill in this timeline. “Just leave me alone.”

And of course he didn’t listen. Instead, he stretched his arm across the back of the couch and turned his full attention to me. “Leaving you alone would me that I would have to go back out there and be dragged into Kevin and Ash’s argument about personal hygiene. I’d much rather be here with you.”

Well, you shouldn’t. “Kevin probably needs you more than I do.”

“What’s wrong?” There it was. Sam getting sick of me trying to beat around the bush.

“No offense Sam, but you can’t help me right now. I need to figure my own shit out and anything I say while I try to do that will make you feel like you have to defend me because I’m gonna say stuff about how I’m a horrible person and you’ll try to convince me that I’m not but you can’t see how selfish I’ve always been and you’ll say that maybe I don’t see just how amazing I am but I’ll know that it’s a lie and you’ll try to convince me that you’re telling the truth but I won’t believe you and this whole conversation just won’t end well.” I took a shallow breath after my blabbered run-on sentence. “It won’t get anywhere. It’s a waste of your time. You’re better off convincing Ash that he should invest in some conditioner and use deodorant more than once a month.”

“Sounds like you’ve already had that conversation for us. Saved us the trouble of talking,” he said lightly, reaching over me to pull the lever for the footrest. I was too tired to protest as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and drew my legs over his. His affection just served to make me feel worse. Here I was, griping about how this shit storm affected me, when I hadn’t even asked how he was handling things. I was the worst friend in the history of friends.

“Sam, I—”

“Shh, no talking, remember?”

“I was going to ask how you were doing.”

He shifted until both of his legs were propped up on the leg rest and he was comfortably lounging back into the cushions with me curled up next to him. “Better than you, obviously. But it’s hard. I’m completely different over here than I am over there.”

“Do you like this version of you better than the other timeline version?”

There was silence as he considered my question. For me, there was no hesitation. The Y/N in this timeline was miles better than the Y/N in the other timeline. I could recite a list of reasons why from today until eternity. All I had to do was figure out how to shut up the other Y/N and push her into a deep dark closet somewhere so I could resume my better life over here.

“I’m not sure. Everything is so different I can’t really compare them. Me. Compare me.”

“Your parents are alive over here. You have an actual job. I don’t know much more about your life in this timeline, but based on everything I know about my life and Dean’s life, I have to assume that your life is lightyears better over here.”

Once again, there was silence. This happened a lot when I had deep conversations with Sam. It was how you knew that it was a good conversation that had actual substance. Silences meant thought.

“I’m going to ask you a question, okay?”

“Was that your question?”

He chuckled. “No. This is: Do you think the version of me in the other timeline is bad compared to the me in this timeline?”

“Absolutely not.” Once again, there was no hesitation. I pulled away from where my head was on his shoulder to look at him with eyebrows drawn together. “Why would you think that? Sam, you were amazing in the other timeline. You had bad shit happen to you, but you still came through strong. And this timeline isn’t nearly as bad, but from what I’ve heard from Dean and your parents, you’re still so strong and selfless.”

And he just looked at me meaningfully. What was it that he wanted me to—

“No,” I groaned. “Sam, it’s not the same. The me in that timeline—”

“Was just as great and amazing and strong as I was in that timeline.”

“Sam, you don’t—”

He covered my mouth with his hand. “I don’t know why you’re being so hard on yourself. Actually, I do. I was the same way. It took me a long time to figure out that I had to stop blaming myself for every mistake I made. But I got there eventually.”

He slowly removed his hand as if testing to see if I would start belittling myself again, but something held me back. Maybe I just knew that he wasn’t done yet, and he wouldn’t rest until he’d said his share.

“And I know it’s hard right now especially with everything that was just dumped on you, but I want you to remember that I think you’re one of the best people in the world. And I only knew you in the other timeline.”

“Sam—”

“One more thing. Whenever you think about how horrible you think you are, I want you to think of what Addy would say to that.”

My mouth snapped shut. There was nothing I could say to that.

If Addy had even the tiniest inkling of what I’d been thinking of myself the last few days, she would take my hand in her little one and pull me towards her room. She would insist that we build a blanket fort together. Then she would grab my brother’s tablet and we would lay in a cloud of pillows and blankets and choose a movie to watch. And while the movie was loading, she would take my face in her hands and tell me as seriously as she could muster that I was a princess, just like her. There would be no way that I wouldn’t be able to believe her with her beautiful eyes boring into mine.

“You play dirty, Sam,” I muttered.

“I know. And now, you’re going to go to sleep because I’m pretty sure you didn’t sleep much last night and I know that you didn’t sleep the night before—”

“You don’t have to mother me,” once again, I muttered.

“I’m not. I’m using you. If you fall asleep on me, then I have to stay here so I don’t wake you up. And if I happen to fall asleep too, then no one can get mad at me for skipping out on a few hours of research and personal hygiene dos and don’ts. After all, I’m just being a good friend.”

A soft, genuine burst of laughter escaped my lips and I felt my mood lighten a little. I supposed I could use a nap.

NEXT CHAPTER

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[alangel1895]

I can’t stay

Title: I can’t stay

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.3k

Warnings: angst, hurt, drunk!Dean, hints and discussion of abusive relationship (please be careful if this is a trigger for you), violence

Request: Hi! If you have time, can you write a Dean x reader where they have an argument and she's about to walk out so that it doesn't escalate? but then Dean grabs her because he doesn't want her to leave him and he accidentally hurts/bruises her and feels really guilty / angry with himself? Thanks :)

A/n: Sorry this is pretty dark. I didn’t know if I should have written a forgiving reader, because I actually personally have the rule to walk out on any guy who ever would dare lay hand on me.

“Dean! What the hell!” You shouted at the man.

“Woa, calm down, (Y/n).” He threw you a smirk, flopping down on your shared bed in the bunker. His jacket was missing, probably dropped on the way to your room. But the missing part of clothing didn’t cover how the rest of him smelled like cheap alcohol and cigarette smoke. “What are you so worked up over anyway?”

“I was sleeping” You snapped, crossing your arms over your sleeping top. The lack of bra and the sleeping shorts probably didn’t help your already not every intimidating look, but you decided to make up for that lack by staring as hard as you could. Because Dean had just stumbled in obviously a bit more than tipsy and definitely not concerned about your sleeping form on the bed. Of course, your instincts had told you something was wrong so you were up and ready to fight the intruder in a heartbeat. Never would you have guessed it was your drunk boyfriend coming home at 4 am while he was supposed to be on a vamp hunt with his brother.

“You look pretty awake to me, babe” He grinned even more, outstretching his hand to grab you and pull you on the bed. But you stepped away, not done with this discussion.

“What is wrong with you?” You kept snapping “You go on a weeklong hunt, but come home drunk after three days. And you smell!”

“Don’t like my manly smell?” He winked. And that was it, you had enough then. You could live with your boyfriend being a hunter and therefore being away a lot – minus the higher risk job it wasn’t that different from dating a business man who travelled a lot. You could live with waiting and hoping that he would come home in one piece. You could even handle the nightmares and the occasional drunk evening. But you couldn’t handle this combination. Not knowing why he’d come early – did the hunt go well or totally pear-shaped? – And also not knowing why he gotten drunk and with whom. You trusted Dean Winchester with your life, but you didn’t know if you had it in your sleep-deprived self to trust this drunken man on your bed right now.

“I hate the alcohol smell on you” You said sharply “Hope you had a great night. I’m on the couch if you’re sober enough to talk.”

“Don’t be like that, babe. The night doesn’t have to be over.”

“It is.”

“Baaaabe” Your drunk boyfriend got up from bed again, slightly stumbling. At first he seemed really confused by his two feet actually holding him vertically. To be honest you were a little surprised too. But his unstable state didn’t stop him from making his way over to you.

“We talk in the morning” You decided “Sleep it off first.” You knew Dean and his many issues and a drunken and probably tired from the hunt version of him was no reasonable person to have any kind of serious discussion with. You weren’t ready to let this go, but you were rational enough to postpone the talking.

Dean however didn’t seem so reasonable at all. When you turned to leave the room, he grabbed your wrist. His fingers dug painfully in your flesh. “Let go” you hissed pulling your arm away, but it was no use. His grip was hard and almost brutal, his green his sparkled with disproportionate anger and the more you struggled the stronger his hold got on you.

“I won’t let you walk out on me” Now he was hissing too, low and words filled with anger. He wasn’t the only one angry though. You yanked at his grip one last time, before connecting your flat hand with his face. The surprise let him go enough, so you could finally pull free.

“I’ll get my things in the morning” You informed a shocked and suddenly sober looking Dean. He was holding his cheek where your hand had left a dark and angry red mark. You wouldn’t apologise. All you did was leave the room, to find some place with a lockable door to get some alone time to think.

At 11 there was a soft knock on the spare bedroom you had moved into in the early morning. Someone had tried the door knob before, so you heard it coming. With a sight you leaned your head back against the wall. You were sitting on the floor across from the door, staring at it and debating if you were ready for this, ready to talk to Dean again.

Rationally he probably had sobered up a good bit by now, but the angry man you saw last night still scared you. It was like nothing you had ever seen in Dean before, the anger in his eyes and iron like grip on your wrist.

Ignoring the door you looked down. There were already bruises forming. Usually you liked green and blue, but on your wrist like that it brought some more tears into your eyes. How could he do this?!

“(Y/n)” It was definitely Deans voice on the other side of the door. He sounded broken and scared, but you didn’t have it in you to care about his feelings right now. You brought your legs up so you could warp your arms around them. Making yourself small and also hiding the bruises from your own eyes. It was no use though, you still knew they were there because of him.

“Please” He begged “I’m so so sorry. Please listen to me.” The knocking had stopped, which made his words clearer to understand. His voice sounded so broken and like he was truly sorry. You wanted to be understanding, but you couldn’t. You simply didn’t see any reason, anything that gave him the right to react in the way he had.

“I beg you, baby. Open the door… Or at least listen. I should have never done that. Never. I know I hurt you. And… god, I hope you’re at least physically fine. I was so out of line, baby. I…”

Slowly you got up from your position. The motion was almost robotic. You still weren’t sure of your feelings about him or about where to go from here.

“Dean” Your voice was cracking too and new tears fell from your eyes. It felt so weird to talk to him through a closed door, not being able to see the face of the man you had loved with all your heart.

“Baby, I’m sorry”

“I know. But…” You struggled with your words again “you scared me. Really scared me. This is different than a nightmare or an injury after a hunt. This isn’t something I know I can ever forget.”

“Baby, please.” You could hear him tearing up too “It was an accident. You know I would never hurt you…”

“I thought I knew that” You whispered “Now I’m not sure. Being an angry drunk is one thing. But this is different. I can’t help from thinking what might happen next time you get mad at me.”

“This won’t happen ever again. I swear.”

“Can you?” You replied, your voice barely audible “Can you really swear? Because I’ve sworn to walk out of a relationship the second he laid hands on me. Yet I’m still in the bunker and I don’t even know why anymore.”

“Don’t go. I beg you. I plead. I do anything. But don’t go.”

“I can’t stay, Dean. I need to think about this” You sighted, leaning your head against the cold wood of the still locked door “Can you get Sam to collect some of my things. I feel like I should move out for a while.”

“Please…”

“I can’t stay” you repeated, finally facing the problem “I can’t trust you right now.”

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