#not that I would be brave enough to actually change urls. this has been my brand for years now

[arthoe-iceland]

just saved the url indoice lol

#not that I would be brave enough to actually change urls. this has been my brand for years now #but I’m a url hoarder i can’t help myself….

[marypsue]

Hhhhhn I’m glad you put your pinned post back bc i missed a few sneak peeks!! First of all, I love the ominous suit baddies and a new introduction for Erica Sinclair bc she honestly would be a child detective and rabble rouser! Also I love that Erica has heard enough about Lucas’s connection that lets him sneak into the movies that she goes to Steve when she feels unsafe! Tbh I feel like it’s a crime that we never got a scene of Lucas braving about his cool older friend who lets him go to movies for free and drives only for Erica to call Steve a loser but clearly note down that he’s a trusted adult ( let thé Sinclair siblings bond!! Let them be children and shit talk but also care for each other deeply! )Also truly such a joy seeing your impeccable sense of dramatic tension bc that scene sucked me right back in and left me excited about stranger things again . The blend of character work and plot has really gotten so good and it’s fun seeing how your style changed since the first installment!! Also belatedly, the age swap fic (another beloved marypsue AU that is always rotissering in my brain alongside body swap) with Nancy detectiving and a fun twist on the classic Hopper finding the government conspiracy beats of ST1.

Hello hello! Thank you so much! I'm thrilled to hear that the tension is good, and that the plot and character work seem to be working together well. That's all I ever want.

I love Erica and I want her to have all of the screentime! All of the sibling relationships on Stranger Things are so interestingly set up and I just want more of all of them. All the time. Forever.

I feel like the setup in this AU allows for a little more cross-generational interaction in general than the show itself implies. That was one of the things I really liked about s3, the way it put together the Scoops Troop instead of just splitting everybody up into three groups based on age again. It worked really well in s1 because, obviously, they were riffing on three different genres aimed at the three different age categories, and also because none of the characters knew anything, including that the others were involved. The more everybody knows, though, the more you either have to come up with external obstacles to separate them out and not have them share what they know with the others, or you gotta play with and shake up that structure a little. (I'm having some fun with it with former heroes right now, and I hope you'll like how it turns out!)

It's funny that you should mention the change in style, because it's something I've been thinking about recently. Part of it is definitely that the first installment in this AU is canon divergent after all the canon setup and everything, so I was able to lean a lot more heavily on what I could assume the audience already knows. I liked that a lot, and I'd like to try to pull that stylised, storytelling-style voice back into it more. But the changes in the s1 and s2 fics have enough knock-on effects, and I'm also changing enough things in the plot, that I can't lean so much on what people already know about s3. (Although I'm definitely having fun using some of those expectations!) I want to make sure everything's set up well, clear, and makes sense, and I'd like to do a little more of that highly stylised stuff again. Hoping I can strike a balance there.

Also, just so you know, for when and if I change the pinned post again (which will happen when I have a new fic to post), there are a few ways to see only the samples on my blog, other than the pinned post. I am from the Ancient Times, before tumblr decided blogs should automatically open in the dash, and my pinned post is actually just a roundup of the links in the header that you can see if you go to my public-facing blog page! (This page also has the added benefit that you don't have to be logged in to tumblr to see it. Technically, every blog has a URL like this, but I believe that if you use the default tumblr theme, it forces you to go to the blog-in-the-dashboard version automatically. I'm not sure, though, I haven't changed my blog theme in something like a decade.)

I also tag for organisation, and I find it's easier to find tagged posts in the [blog].tumblr.com view than the blog-in-dashboard view. On marypsue.tumblr.com, if you click on a tag, it will show you every post tagged with that tag, in chronological order. It won't catch posts that use the same phrase in the body text, only posts that have been tagged. But it will bring up every post with that tag, and it won't show you duplicates of the same posts (which I find the search often does for no apparent reason).

All my fic samples and fic posts are tagged with the wildly imaginative this is mary's fic tag. All my original writing is tagged with mary writes. I've also tried to start tagging by WIP name. So if you're, say, in the mary writes tag, and you read and enjoy a sample from Fearleading Squad, you can click on the fearleading squad tag on the post and it will show you more samples from that WIP. Or if you're looking for samples from the upcoming final installment of the Hawkins, Indiana psychic baby boom, there's a tag for that too.

(If you already knew all of this and just found the pinned post more convenient, I hope you'll forgive me. I just realised as I was reading your ask that tumblr goes out of its way to direct you to the blog-in-dashboard view, and I don't know how common knowledge it is anymore that there's another option.)

#chatter #one day I will not write a novel in response to every ask. today is not that day. #sorry it took so long to answer this I have been. a jelly

[absynthe--minded]

opinions on the recent russingon meta? tbh i love russingon, i love black fingon headcanons, but i do agree that it's a little weird when fingon gets totally sidelined in fics as just Maedhros' Emotional Growth or the Black Nanny. i mean, russingon really lends itself to hurt/comfort, which is fine, but i think ppl sometimes neglect fingon's arc. thoughts as a russingon writer? (no accusations, love your work, but wanted your perspective on other ppls russingon works)

(Wow this got long, lol.

Full disclosure - I haven’t read the recent Russingon meta, or offered any substantial response to it. Quite a lot of people I know have, but I’ve not had the time and my brain hasn’t been cooperating with me to read large chunks of text over the last couple of days. I have opinions on your ask as I’m seeing it now, and that’s what I’ll be responding to. I’m also not black, though I’m not white either - my ethnic group is one that has troubling stereotypes associated with it of caring for white people/acting as sage dispensers of advice/etc, but I can’t speak to the breadth and depth of the black experience when it comes to being a ‘black nanny’ in fiction, and I’m not going to try to.)

So, Fingon being a cardboard cutout/emotional support animal for Maedhros and Fingon being perceived as black by large portions of the fandom are two things that arose completely independently of one another. Fingon being Maedhros’s support animal is a trope as old as Russingon itself, and possibly is as old as the published Silm itself. I’ve read Russingon fics that were almost as old as I am, Russingon fics published last week, Russingon fics that vilified the Nolofinwëans, and Russingon fics from the turn of the 21st century when the Fëanorians were seen as uncomplicated villains. Fingon being a cardboard cutout is ubiquitous through all of them. It doesn’t matter how old the fic is, it’s basically guaranteed.

The reason for this is that Maedhros is far and away the most popular character in the Silmarillion, and his pain and angst and mental strife and trauma are front and center in many writers’ lists of priorities. If it’s not Fingon propping him up, it’s Maglor, or another brother, or an OC - this is a very common genre of Silm fic and it’s not limited to Russingon.

But.

This is my least favorite Russingon trope and it’s the entire reason I’m writing Blessed Hands and why all my Russingon fics are at least majority-Fingon POV. I can’t fucking stand it, and it completely kills my interest in a story. I’m super picky with my Russingon fics because of this trope, and because of its ubiquity, and I’ve talked about it on my blog many times before. For me to love a Russingon fic, it has to be about how they anchor and support one another, and how their mutual and equal investment in their relationship is the foundation of their lives. This trope’s not nearly as common as it used to be, thank Eru, but it’s still around, and I cannot talk enough about how I Hate It, lol. It’s also old enough and omnipresent enough that the majority of fics feature it, and - interestingly - the majority of fics also feature white Fingon.

Alongside this, Black Fingon arose out of a non-Russingon intracommunity discussion among the artists of the Silm fandom, in about 2013. I saw this play out in real time on my dash, and so while I can’t source posts reliably, I can promise this is as accurate as I can make it.

The paradigm shift came as a result of content creators realizing that several of their number weren’t white, and quite a few people in the fandom weren’t white, and yet 100% of art and fics featured white elves with zero real diversity (and a number of very troubling, somewhat stereotypical older illustrations of Men as the only significant examples of people of color in Middle-Earth). There was concern as to why this was being accepted as the norm when there was ample opportunity for representing both one’s own ethnicity and other people of color (and a lot of concern about unexamined racism in white artists who found themselves unable, for various reasons, to picture heroic elves as anything but fair-skinned) and the general consensus was that we had more consistent information from HoME draft to HoME draft about hair color than skin tone, so why were we all picturing our heroes as white?

Fingon in particular was headcanoned as black due to a discovery by a fan (whose URL escapes me, sadly) who I’m certain was black themself. There’s a passage in The Peoples of Middle-Earth describing Fingon as wearing his hair in plaits braided through with gold, and this fan made the comparison to hairstyles worn by IRL black people. The idea was that he was the most uncomplicatedly brave, heroic, and noble person in the Silm, and look, he could be a man of color! There was also a sort of gentleman’s agreement to refrain from making explicit connections beyond that to real human ethnic groups/cultures/races. The logic behind this was that if the generic Eurofantasy aesthetic was kept, white artists would be encouraged to draw diverse elves without concern for cultural appropriation, as well as steering racists away from caricature and the ability to twist a well-meaning effort into a stereotypical attack.

When these ideas first emerged, there was a lot of resistance. Arguments were made that those of us who advocated for diverse elves and specifically black Fingon were discreetly accusing other artists of being racist, or were acting purposefully holier-than-thou, or just wanted to start drama. There were some people who claimed we’d attack anyone who didn’t agree with us that elves were brown. This was an exhausting mess to deal with and it was a major part of my disillusionment with discussing racism in the Tolkien fandom - the majority of voices were reasonable people but the minority was loud and obnoxious. I bring this up to say that diverse elves were genuinely progressive and forward-looking in 2013, even when it was more or less explicitly stated that they had no real ties to existing human races and they had no change to their characters.

Black Fingon, agreed upon outside the Russingon fandom, and Fingon the cardboard cutout, the most reliably present version of Fingon in Russingon fic, sort of ran into one another. No real change was ever made to Finno’s character upon making him black - this would have been seen at the time as unnecessary because his character was just fine as-is, and the whole point was that he could be exactly as he’d been before and be black or brown, that men of color had the exact same range of emotion and depth of character that he did when he was perceived as white. 

The problem is that there hasn’t been much examination of the idea that Fingon being a black man who exists to prop up a white man is uh. Really racist and kind of fraught.

All I have to say really is that this wasn’t a conscious decision by anyone to be racist - the opposite, actually. As I mentioned above I can’t speak for black people, or for other BIPOC, but my opinion is that it’s an unfortunate and unconscious choice that has nothing to do with Fingon’s race and everything to do with the fact that his character has been seriously neglected for decades now. It opens the door to a lot of really frustrating tropes and plotlines that smack fans of color in the face with how bigoted they are, and it’s something that I’m glad is being discussed, if only because I’ve been trying to push for a reevaluation of Fingon’s personality and general role for a long time now (though of course I’m also glad that this is actually getting acknowledged as a harmful thing real people now are at risk of doing).

My solution? Same as ever - “write Fingon like a real person with interests and desires and goals of his own, and treat his family like they matter, and flesh out the world he lives in. Listen to people of color if you’re white, educate yourself regardless, and learn to avoid harmful tropes.” If that becomes the fandom norm? I’ll be a happy Absynthe.

#replies #anon replies #RUSSINGON #absynthe's meta

[cleocazo]

hey hp rp + rpc tags ! i’m popping by to make a public service announcement / callout ? regarding blatant plagiarism from the admin of @impiushq​. so far, i’ve discovered the plagiarism in question taking place in two rps under the details ELENI / ADMIN E, 18, est, she / her (  o worm#5862 on discord ). i have no idea whether it goes further than this, but where my initial concern was simply my creative property having been swiped and used in another rp, i’ve since discovered that eleni was brave enough to open her OWN rp at the above url knowing full well that her ‘interpretation’ of her character was stolen, and i think the rpc should know exactly who they’re shouting out and supporting by joining her rp. anyway. onwards with the necessary info, right ?

so the first penny drop was when i saw that petrificushq had a lily evans on an activity check with a martyr related url ( @mcrtyris​ ) which at first was just SUPER funny to me, since i play a lot with the theme of lily being a ‘little martyr’ and have used it in the past as blog title, playlist title, label, etc. i opened the blog and immediately felt as if... the layout to everything was very similar to my own and that the use of a theme made by the same person who made a previous one of mine ( subsequently changed due to the fact that it came out the themes had all been stolen, but i digress ) was... weird. fast forward to me knowing with complete certainty everything they used on that blog was stolen from me, i messaged the rp to let them know and began to search the marauders rp tags on the off chance they had taken my lily elsewhere, since they were on an activity check in that rp.

here’s the thing : i’d like for this to be the ONLY instance i had to screenshot, but as it turns out, it’s not. so stick with me, please ! 

the search ended at @impiushq​, which is an rp RUN by eleni. in it, she’s playing lily evans ( @puermiles​ ) - once again with my information. it was one thing to take my bio to another rp, but it’s another thing ALTOGETHER to open a roleplay with my information for your singular character, and it seemed to me that eleni got braver when she was finally in a space created by herself : my tag system, my musing posts, even character development things i did were taken there. 

i couldn’t work out the best way to go about this, so while i do in fact HAVE screenshots and all of eleni’s information copied and pasted to google documents in case she deletes her blogs, i’m choosing just to link the major instances because frankly : its a LOT, and all of it was stolen. screenshots just won’t do, here. i’ve gone with the oldest google doc i actually own of this information ( last edited june 17th ) because i want you all to know that my lily predated eleni’s by MANY weeks, and i’d be happy contact the first rp i was apart of with her for the may timestamp of my application, lmao. my lily potter blog has always been @flevrdelis, currently privated. the two blogs of eleni’s where she is using my information are @mcrtyris​ & @puermiles. as of now, you can view both. if they go down, i will still have screenshots & copies of both, so eleni : there’s no point in removing the proof of your plagiarism in hopes of it not being seen. 

THIS IS MY LILY POTTER TIMELINE / biography. here & here you can find the watered down copies, stolen by eleni. 

THIS IS MY STATISTICS PAGE, copied from my blog as i’m not taking it off private now. HERE & HERE are eleni’s. in the first, the first time she copied and pasted my work, you can see she left ( evans ) when she shouldn’t have in ‘meaning of names’. on top of stealing my work, here, she’s also stolen my ‘only the good seasons’ joke about tvd in character parallels, lol.

THIS IS MY INTRODUCTION, the earliest iteration of it. HERE & HERE you can find eleni’s ‘abriged bios’ / intros, which are both also blatantly ripped from me, and contain all MY jokes and information.

CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO AN IMGUR PHOTO ALBUM, containing all instances if theme stealing, etc.

AS OF NOW BOTH BLOGS ARE DOWN, PLEASE FIND PUERMILES INFO HERE & MCRTYRIS INFO HERE.

please also note that where my go to fc for lily and the fc i was using when she would have stolen this information was melis sezen and that my lily potter, regardless of where played, identifies as NON BINARY. both times eleni has changed my lily to a abigail cowen, and has turned her into a cis woman. if you’re going to steal from me, can you at least keep what you’re stealing intact ?

look : as a wise individual has since said to me... the level of no concern that she has of the consequences for this to do it TWICE is baffling. the fact she could KNOWINGLY steal my writing ( because whatever the excuse, your finger doesn’t just slip for you to steal so much information directly from someone ) in one rp was bad enough, but that she went on to create her own and think it would never come out is... shocking. my lily potter / evans is a carefully crafted character that i’m attached to for a lot of reasons, but most especially because she’s the only character in recent years i attached so much personal information to. she’s formed out of people and situations specific to my family and me, and it’s FUNNY, but it’s also absolutely shocking behaviour. this is illegal. i don’t OWN the rights to lily potter, but i own absolutely EVERYTHING that went into her. eleni, this is illegal. it’s shockingly bad, disgusting, HORRID behaviour, but it’s also illegal, and you should absolutely be aware of that. 

obviously, i would like first and foremost an apology from eleni for this. an explanation. absolutely anything at all. but second to that, i’d really appreciate the rpc seeing this and making sure that MY creative property isn’t taken to another space yet again by this person. 

#rpt #rpc #rph #hp rp #harry potter rp #marauders rp #marauders rpg #appless rp

[killypool]

Anonymous said: 🍒 + a url who you feel doesn't get enough niceness.

yeah, my answer for this would be my entire list of following. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, but i’ve chosen to surround myself with kind and fun people that i trust, and my following list reflects that. i have people that i’ve known for years that i think deserve a ton of love, and i have people i’m just now meeting that i’m so so excited every time i see them on my dash. 

@webheadedhero is one of the sweetest people i’ve met. patrick has always been very down to earth and respectful and a HUGE reason i’ve stayed in the rpc for so long

@nuiruk has also been around with me since my ty lee days like 7 years ago, and i’m still as in awe of k as i was when i first started. not only is k like one of the best writers and most talented people ever, k has always been a kind and helpful person to anyone around.

@fuckingvictus is like the cool older cousin you always want to spend time with. billie is willing to talk to anyone, and is one of the least judgmental people i’ve ever met. and because of billie, i met @dragontold who is my favorite fucking shitpost. 

@footagecaught is always around to motivate me and encourage me, not only in my career, but in my writing and in my graphics. she gave me the end all be all ship for my heather, and in writing mo is giving some much needed positivity for plus sized men.

i’m not very up to date with his blogs anymore and i haven’t spoken to him in months, so i’m not sure if his alias has changed, but @billowscomms was one of my closest friends for the longest time, and was a HUGE reason i made deadpool. if it wasn’t for him, i wouldn’t have ever started writing wade and i would’ve missed out on meeting most of the people i consider my closest online friends.

@exrussian​ who i’m not even sure is on tumblr anymore for rp, but i have endless love for nyx and nyx is to blame for constantly enabling me to write headcanons and metas and flesh out wade into a character that i can’t see myself stepping away from.

@cardshcrp will never - and i mean never get the love and recognition he deserves. he’s one of the most talented, most creative, most hardworking people i’ve met and he will always downplay it. he’s unbelievably selfless and willing to give anything to his friends, and my life is better just for knowing him.

@timeforgcd has shown me endless amounts of love and patience throughout my time writing wade. no matter how crazy things got, luca was always encouraging and loving and motivating. it’s still hard to believe how many times luca went out of their way to make me things or just spend time talking to me when i was upset or making blogs and writing with me. luca’s always been willing and ready to figure out a way for even the most unorthodox of characters to meet and interact just to keep me involved. and i know i haven’t always been the most mature or grateful to them, but i will always respect and love luca and be grateful for the time i’ve spent with them.

@sheveil is beyond words such an amazing and creative writer and one of the people who have influenced wade and his verses the most. lee’s so goddamn talented it blows my mind and i’m forever sorry not sorry i completely ripped my fallout 4 verse from lee’s existing headcanons. i’m still in awe every time i get to talk and plot and share stupid memes

@silencedsonatas / @fortyeightminutes / @adamantiumfcrged / @redroomfcrged / @rykerelias is one of my favorite people to plot with. penny is always ready to continue a plot or scream about ships and verses and muses for hours. even when i lack the ability to actually catch up reply wise, penny’s still willing to just scream in IMs to develop verses. there’s no plot or verse or ship i’m nervous about approaching her with.

@builtchaos is one of the people i could talk to 24/7 and not get tired of. jules has been such a source of comfort and friendship and is always ready to write with me on anything i want to write. i’m forever going to be grateful for the worlds we’ve gotten to create together, and no amount of thanks would do her justice.

@seesgood​ and @itsgclden​ because they both go hand in hand in the endless sources of positivity and comfort. lissa and lia are always there to make me smile and make me feel like i belong on this site, and i have every intention of following them and watching them in awe from a distance for the rest of my time here.

@atrucpatriot​ + all of vesta’s blogs - i owe vesta the world, okay? she’s so incredible and strong and brave and kind to me and to everyone else she meets. she’s fiercely protective of her friends and one of the most vocal when it comes to defending sex workers, minorities, and body positivity. vesta could make anyone in the world feel welcomed and loved and appreciated.

@kamauea​ and @thedipshits​ for being unbelievably patient with me and my constant bullshit and shitposting. ck and boo have some of the most well written and fleshed out ocs, and i could just sit back and read their threads all day. 

and i’m forgetting roughly 100ish people ( and 100 more people i watch from afar without ever attempting to talk to ) but everyone listed above i consider close close friends of mine, and all of them are reasons i continue to feel safe and comfortable on this blog and on tumblr in general.

#( 🦄 ) how do you make sure adblock blocks my posts. ( *OOC ) #( 🦄 ) for the love of god slide into my dms. ( *OOC ANSWERED ) #( 🦄 ) watch as i expose my crushes. ( *POSITIVITY ) #long post //

[insanityclause]

[NOTE: BroadwayWorld's fabulous photographer Walter McBride captures images of the Broadway stars profiled in our monthly column in a special photo shoot. Check out the pics of Charlie Cox throughout the feature!]

Congratulations on the great success of this production! I imagine that there are things about a Pinter work that create unique challenges for an actor, beginning with his signature pauses. How difficult was it to not only learn the dialogue of the play, but also to incorporate these pauses into your performance?

So yes, Harold famously writes in his pauses and silences and they exist I think in all of his plays. And the thing is that one should really adhere to them because really Harold was a poet, he writes poetry as much as he writes prose. And so what you discover is that if you adhere to the pauses and the silences, he will be showing you the musical rhythm of the scene and he's helping you make sense of the scene. And that's really, really fascinating. So it's actually not difficult at all because I think Harold is so brilliant, the pauses make sense. Most of the time you don't have to learn them, they are also your instinct. There were so many times we would discover that the instinct was to pause, and sure enough there it was, written in the script. It was actually quite revealing. So it was not as difficult as you would think. If it was written, it almost always made complete sense when you were rehearsing it.

So then you're not actually thinking about it during the performance.

No, certainly not anymore. We did do a few line runs early on in rehearsals where someone would say "pause" and "silence" where they existed just to help us remember where they were and where they weren't. But I really don't remember that being a particularly challenging learning process. It all happened quite organically.

Another challenge with this play is the fact that you are on stage during the entire performance. Even if your character is not technically in the scene, he remains on stage as an observer. Did [Director] Jamie Lloyd give you specific direction for those moments, or was that left up to your own interpretation?

No actually Jamie was quite forensic about that. We talked a lot about the fact that while they're not in the scene, they're alive in spirit. The thinking behind it is, the majority of the scenes take place between two characters, but in each of those scenes, they talk about the third entity, the other one, the one who is not present. And the idea being is that the two characters in the scene, whether it be Jerry and Emma, Robert and Jerry, Robert and Emma, these characters are in some ways haunted by the presence of the other character. And that's very prominent towards the end of the play, in the scenes with my character and Zawe's character, where the guilt is mounting and they talk about Robert and they almost see him in their mind's eye. And of course from an audience point of view he is there, looking at them. It's almost like a ghost - you know, like they're being haunted. And that was Jamie Lloyd, our director's idea, and I think it was a brilliant one. To my knowledge this play hasn't been done that way before but I heard a lot of people say that they can't imagine it being done any other way now.

The other challenge of course is, Pinter's characters tend to drink a lot of alcohol during the play and of course there's no opportunity to relieve oneself during the course of the show. So while most of my day revolves around making sure that I'm hydrated, after 4 pm, I make sure to not take any liquids in!

Well that's one challenge that didn't occur to me! I wanted to talk about Jerry's journey in this story which, unlike a typical play, occurs in reverse order. What unique challenges does that create for you as an actor?

That's an interesting question actually. There's a couple of things that spring to mind. The first one is that I feel that the Jerry we meet at the beginning of the play, which is of course the end of the story, I don't think he would ever behave the way the Jerry at the beginning of the story behaves. Meaning that I think we should first meet a man as the play begins who, from the experience that we are about to witness going backwards in time, now has a sadness about him, now has a world-weariness about him, there is loss of innocence, there is a sense that life has kind of humbled him a little bit and the dreams and the hopes and the aspirations that he had when he was younger have slightly been crushed. And while he still puts on a brave face and he has great charisma and is enjoyable to be around, he has come from a place of such romanticism and greatness and excitement. So from an acting point of view, I want Jerry at the end of the play, the beginning of this story, to feel more youthful, to appear to have a great sense of reckless excitement and romanticism. And so when he declares his undying love to Emma, hopefully it shouldn't feel too cynical and too duplicitous, although of course that is the nature of it. It also comes from an almost child-like experience of great profound love, and of course that's what Pinter does brilliantly; he stipulates that Jerry is drunk so it's only with the added help of alcohol lubrication that allows him to say what he says, which is what sparks off this entire chain of events. So one of the challenges during the course of the ninety minutes is just to slowly appear or seem to grow more youthful, more energetic as we go back in time. And as you said, since you can't leave the stage, you can't achieve that with the help of makeup or anything like that.

Do you think people view Jerry as the villain of the story?

You know, when I read the play for the first time, I remember thinking the great challenge for my character and for this play to work, is that Jerry has to be likable. If any one of the three of us are considered "the baddie", if any one of the three characters kind of becomes the one who's to blame, then I don't think the play works. And again what Harold does brilliantly is, he makes them all flawed. So during the course of the play you learn that all three of them have their problems and their faults. And I think the character with whom you kind of sympathize with shifts throughout the play. First you meet this couple who are in love and they have this something special and obviously there's a nostalgia and a sadness and they're meeting up at the end of an affair. And then you realize that actually the affair was with the guy's best friend and this woman's husband and you think, 'well that's not very nice!' And then you meet Robert, who is of course the victim of this betrayal, but then you learn that he has potentially been hitting his wife and so your sympathy shifts once again. And ultimately what you come to learn is that they are three flawed characters, all three love each other very much, and they've misplaced the experience of this love which has led to great pain, and ultimately to the separation of all three of them.

So my hope is that Jerry is not seen as the villain. What I tried to do with Jerry is make him as sympathetic and as likable as possible. And I believe the way you do that is, while you can't change what he does and what he says, you must make the audience believe that he does love Emma, but also believe that he loves Robert as well, and that he is as distraught with the ruin of his friendship as he is from the ruin of the affair.

And along those lines, there is such great chemistry on stage among you and Tom and Zawe. Was that something that was there from the very beginning?

Well I knew Tom a little bit, Tom and Zawe knew each other a little bit, me and Zawe did not know each other, but yes, it's a combination of Jamie being clever and kind of really bringing us together. From day one we got very, very lucky. And a lot of credit goes to Tom as well who has kind of insisted, in a loving way, that we warm up together, that we behave as a unit when in the theater. So we regularly go out to dinner, we regularly chat, we're all in a WhatsApp Group, we warm up everyday together on the stage as a threesome. And I have never done that before and I found it to be immensely helpful. We've all become very close, and we even have a bit of a dance we do before the show sometimes to get us all going. And I have to say this, I feel very, very lucky because I would not like to do this play if there was some bad energy between any of the three of us, I think it would be really uncomfortable.

Do you find that New York audiences are reacting any differently to the play than the London audiences?

I think they are slightly more lively actually, which was surprising. I had wondered if some of the humor was very English, so much so that it might be lost on New York audiences, because Harold Pinter and the characters are so, you know... English. But no I have not found that to be the case at all. We've found that the audiences are very lively and enjoy it and laugh and cry in all the right places. I do think what has helped with that is the amount of international television and movies. You know everyone in America has seen Downton Abbey, so everyone is very familiar with Englishness and all that, so I do think that helps.

The play was written in 1978. Why do you think the story still seems so relevant in today's times?

I think in the same way when you go through a break-up you suddenly become excruciatingly aware that every movie and every song seems to have been written about lost love, found love, it's in everyone's lives. Everyone has had an experience of loving someone deeply and those first few weeks and months, and sometimes the heartbreak and reconnection, and it's such a powerful emotion. When we were still in the rehearsal room I remember talking about how we have to remember that when you feel that kind of love you often behave in a way that resembles madness, craziness, it really drives people to lunacy. And this is a play about love. It's called 'Betrayal' because it's about the consequences of love when one's intentions are clouded by other things. But it could just as easily been called 'Love' in my mind.

It's so unique that the entire cast is making their Broadway debut in this production. What has that experience been like?

You know funny enough it kind of took the individuality out of it, which I think is a great thing. It made us feel like we are Broadway debuting. And you know the producers and the director, it's their Broadway debut as well. And it's the debut for Eddie Arnold, who is the wonderful actor who plays the waiter and he is fabulous. You know we always joke that it's so frustrating that he's on stage for such a short time and yet he gets the biggest laughs of the night! So he has obviously become as much a part of the family as anyone, so that's been fantastic. So yes, it feels like we're all here, kind of like Brits on Broadway, very honored to be here. I feel very, very welcomed and everyone's just been so kind and generous. And I just feel like I'm living the dream really, just too lucky for words.

So it sounds like you'd be happy to return one day in the near future.

Oh my gosh, yes - one hundred percent!

BroadwayWorld congratulates Charlie Cox on his Broadway debut in Betrayal. Cox was the lead in Netflix/Marvel series "Daredevil" and was most recently seen in the film "King of Thieves." In 2014 the actor starred opposite Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones in Working Title's "The Theory of Everything." He also portrayed the Irish enforcer Owen Sleater in the HBO series "Boardwalk Empire." In 2016, Cox starred in Manhattan Theatre Club's production of Nick Payne's play INCOGNITO, for which he was nominated for a Lucille Lortel Award.

#Charlie Cox #Betrayal #interview

[thebarkingraccoon]

Curative AU

I have been working on it for a bit now. I realize it’s taken a lot longer than I had hoped. I got stuck behind some walls, but don’t worry. It’s not writer’s block, I just had to figure some stuff out.

Now that it’s solved I am working on the rest. This is like a short teaser for the AU! I’m sorry for making y’all wait so long. I’m working on getting a lot more out there! ... still working on a title tho

Hope you enjoy the snippet!

Quick summary: Laura manages to get her junk alarm clock to work and heads out to a movie with a friend.

She tortured herself over her computer for hours, threatening to spend another full night just staring at the monitor. She procrastinated from sunrise to sunset.

The choice was her own and it tore her inside out. A life-changing, life-ending decision. Truly an event that would change her life forever, overshadowing her future self in its enormity. Scouring for days, upon days, filtering through informational articles from reputable sources, Reddit boards, and sites with too many dots in the URL.

The decision... to take a semester or two off.

She cried, she complained, she wrapped herself up in a blanket burrito while wallowing in self-pity. Weeks spent agonizing over the repercussions and benefits. Some said it's healthy to take a break, explore the world a bit before diving back in. Others say it can interrupt work ethic and self-discipline.

But the deadline was rapidly approaching. In only a few days she would have to choose and she couldn't imagine what would happen.

The bags under her eyes and heavy eyelids told her it was too late to keep beating herself over the head with this. She needed to sleep so she could wake on time for her plans the next day.

Dragging herself from her cocoon of thick blankets in her living room she managed to make it into her bed. A bed is a generous term as it appeared to be no more than a giant pile of pillows, blankets, comforters, and fluffy things that she disappeared into.

As she melted off to sleep she became aware of the uncomfortable poking on her nose. Swimming through the sea of fluff and feathers she reached out to her nightstand. Only instead of finding her glasses case her hand slapped the nightstand so hard her alarm clock fell over.

With a sharp ringing, she jolted upright, the shrill sound agitating her restful state. "Fracking busted thing." She grabbed the alarm clock, glaring at it with a personal hatred for the device.

Her longstanding spite for the simple bedside tool came from its inability to ring on time. It was a cute stylized twin bell alarm clock that's small hammer came loose rendering it unable to ring. Not knowing this being the issue led her to many mornings sleeping in late.

As easy as it was for her to set the alarm on her phone, it was simply not loud enough to wake her. The poor girl slept like a log, nothing but the loudest most annoying sounds could shake her awake.

Tilting the alarm clock, she patted it on the side which managed to dislodge the small metal hook that connected to the hammer. She tested the clock and it rang, a deep sigh of relief escaped her. So she set it for tomorrow, took off her glasses, then fell right back into the avalanche of comfort.

She was unceremoniously woken from her sleep by that alarm clock ringing in her ear. All she could think is how badly she wanted to throw it out the window but settled for pouting as she woke up.

She slept up to her neck in giant comforters and pillows, lavishing in their luxurious fluff. A bed full of pastels and faux furs piled on the already puffed up bed. There wasn't a single thing spared of color in her room, including the canopy that enclosed her bed.

Braving the day, she lifted herself from her abyss of endless pillows. Shifting through her taste in bedspreads, she dipped her feet off the edge of her bed and onto the fluffy sheep wool rug. Her toes curling into the softness as she stretched her arms out languidly.

Pulling back the canopy, she reached for the nightstand patting the surface until she found her glasses. Her eyes adjusted to the light and clarity of the day.

Slumping over, she picked up her phone only to see a calendar alert for her showtime. She had time to prepare for the day despite her reluctance to do so.

Ideas of how to avoid going popped into her head. Excuses along the lines of 'I'm not feeling well' all the way to 'Something terrible came up!' She kept wanting to find an escape through her preparation.

She left the door cracked open, steam slowly rising from the heat of the shower. Sounds of a few bottles hitting the floor of her shower followed by a line of nonsense words in place of expletives.

She leaned over the sink to apply her make up. She knew it was more procrastination but she had a difficult time deciding what to put on and what clothing to wear. Each mix and match outfit was reasoned away as she continued trying to find a way out.

Doing her best to ignore her social anxiety she dressed, pulled her hair back, and headed to the door. As she was about to shut the door she patted her pockets only to find things missing. "Oh shoot!" She groaned, returning to her bedroom to find her phone buried in her abyss of pillows.

Clicking on the screen, she rolled her eyes. "I didn't plug it in. Are you fracking kidding me?" She glared at the thirty-eight percent battery life. It would be dead before she got home, but she didn't have the time to charge it.

Heading out of her apartment she ensured the door was locked, hopped into the elevator, and went into the garage to retrieve her car. Her phone would not survive the whole day out, but it would survive to give her directions to her friend's place.

As she pulled up to the apartment complex, she texted him she was outside waiting. The phone's battery on twenty-nine percent and she turned it off to conserve it.

The car door clicked and swung open, a rather tall man managed to squeeze himself into the passenger seat. He gave her the widest smile he could manage, "Laura! You actually came and you're on time! I had no idea you had it in you."

She returned with a slight shrug and a lopsided grin. "Hey, Jason. My alarm clock decided to work this morning. It's like the first time it actually rang on time in the last month." She knew he was only teasing her, he was a good-natured man. Yet she felt guilty accepting even a modicum of praise knowing she just spent most of her morning scheming of a way to stay home... and she often didn't show or was very late to hangouts.

"Well, I'm glad we get to see the sequel together. That opening night for the first Hellboy was such fun." He beamed, smiling as bright as ever. "Hard to believe that was four years ago..." A wistful sigh for the old days before they began their college life.

"I did get the tickets for the Dark Knight next month, opening night like you wanted, right?" She drove out of the lot, heading towards the theater.

"Yes! I'm so excited! I'm worried too though, the only Joker I think of is the cartoon one. You know, Mark Hamill's Joker." He squealed in delight, his love of superhero movies shining through. "The movie looks amazing though. That trailer, ugh! I can't wait!"

She laughed about it with him, thankfully relieving some of the tension she felt. He was positively giddy with excitement and his smile was infectious.

Until they went over a bump in the road. The streets in Atlanta were all riddled with potholes and cracks. She winced as she drove over a few, scared of damaging a car that was bought for her. Having to go back and ask for repairs so soon would be a whole ordeal she would much rather avoid.

The wincing didn't go passed him, he felt every bump too. "And this is why I try not to drive here." He uttered as they rolled over another large crack.

Silence filled the cabin and it was not a comfortable one. Laura's head was screaming at her to talk, hold a normal conversation; do anything except sit there the entire time. The theater wasn't far so they wouldn't have enough time for a full discussion, but she hadn't seen him in so long it felt awkward just sitting here.

But what would she talk about? She was intensely private and rarely discussed anything outside of the ordinary small talk between strangers. This wasn't a stranger, he invited her out and bought the tickets. They'd known each other for years and still, she struggled to speak with him.

"Your hair!" Laura almost barked it out, mentally smacking herself. Trying to calm her nerves she focused on using her inside voice. "It's gotten really long, I like it."

Unimpressed, he held up a long dreadlock and sent her a lame look. "Laura, my hair has been this long since I was like twenty."

"O-oh." Feeling more awkward and embarrassed than ever, she clammed up. She talked and made a fool of herself. Of course, she knew this, she was just so desperate to find anything to say that seemed normal.

She meant to say is she liked the length and wanted to know if he was planning on letting it grow longer. Which she immediately botched and instead made it sound like she never noticed. The awkward silence was better to her mind than whatever this was.

Regardless of her social weaknesses, he knew she meant well. After years of being around Laura, he knew she was very careful with the people around her. Unfortunately, she was not gifted at talking to people even if she knew them well.

No matter the social awkwardness, he never actually pressured her. He didn't coddle her when she was overly nervous, but he was never mean about it either. Whether she knew it or not he gave her the healthy adult friendship she needed.

"I like what you did with your hair." He reached over to her, lifting a lock-up to look at the color. She flinched away at the glimpse of his hand nearing her. He knew this about her and drew no attention to it; he put it together years ago.

Laura blinked, glancing quickly down to the long strands in his fingers. "Right! I had the ends dyed." She let out a deep breath. It had been so long since they saw each other he hadn't seen the recent change. "I just wanted to try something new out."

Nodding his approval. "So you had a blue ombre done?" As he questioned her he saw a flash of uncertainty on Laura's face. "Don't worry, I like it. It's soft, not so in your face bright as some do. It's a good choice." His reassurance went a long way. Her shoulders visibly relaxed knowing she was not in fear of being judged.

"Thanks, I got it done last-" Laura paused as she realized once more she was accentuating their time apart. "... September."

He just made an Ahh sound and dropped it. They didn't need to go into why they spent so long without seeing each other. They both knew it was because Laura always fell out of contact, a fact which she felt constantly guilty for.

When she pulled into the parking lot, she was relieved to get out of the car. A movie theater where she could sit in silence and watch Hellboy 2. No worrying about tripping over her words to making herself look like an idiot. She could just kick back and enjoy the movie.

After the movie they headed home, Laura and Jason both talking like old friends again. The prior awkwardness had slowly melted away as they caught up on recent events, the frustration of their last classes together, and the next time they hang out.

When she dropped him off at his place and left for her own she was aware of how relaxed she felt. A few hours spent hanging with a friend not worrying about her studies or what comes next. Just being in the moment having a laugh.

It was a refresher she didn't know she was waiting for. She had such a nice time with him she really didn't want to stop so soon. This was a nice feeling, something she chose to believe was good.

When she headed back inside her apartment she went for her computer. Once the monitor lit up she exited the window with her registration information on it.

This time around she would take time off and make the most of it. She had more than earned a break.

Jason was highly supportive, having chosen to take off as well. Talk of some classic summer fun was quickly becoming a reality and for the first time in a long time, she was actually excited to hang out with a friend.

#Curative AU #twd fanfiction #walking dead fanfic

[saltine-kakyoin]

tagged by: @fullmetal-the-last-alchemist!! ruth you madman! thank u sm luv!!!!! <3 <3

nickname: sriracha! and. when my theater bebs wanna bully me... srirachachu...

sign: have i not cried in my tags enough for it to be immediately obvious? ;o; cancer babey!!!! c:

height: 5′1... 5′1 1/2 if i’m feeling particularly brave... it haunts me that koichi is like. the same height if not just slightly taller than me.. araki would draw me like a fucking PEBBLE on the ground :””-(

last thing i googled: toad bring me to life!! we have a bluetooth speaker in our bathroom + i scared the ever-living DAYLIGHTS outta @za-chariot with it!

song stuck in my head: straight no chaser’s “what’d i say/ hit the road jack/ mas que nada” but seriously only the part where the bass soloist is like “oh woman oh woman don’t treat me so mean you’re the meanest old woman that i ever seen” on repeat all day every day

following: oh god.. i have no idea how to tell from a sideblog.. on main i follow 398 blogs?

followers: the crackly boy has 96 (wHICH!! ???? 1. where did you guys COME FROM? and 2. why do you all STICK AROUND? it’s seriously mindblowing to see that kind of number for this lawless blog, but! i appreciate you guys for staying here even if i reblog an entire day’s worth of likes in 1 hour...you guys are a1 ; o ;)

amount of sleep i get: bro let’s not even Discuss this, my sleep schedule is so wild right now because i truly cannot regulate my own foolish body.. normally it’s 6 or 7 hours? but lately i’ve been pulling 4 or 5 hours because my mind is off the shits rn skhghd

lucky number: ohh man I really have no idea bro.. i sat and thought about this one for a good moment but like i don’t even know man. ahh. maybe 7 bc my life got flipped upside down for the better when i got into 7th grade? idk man..

dream job: this is such a difficult question, too! sometimes i just want to be a stagehand/ dresser for a broadway show, sometimes i wanna be a choir professor, and sometimes? i just want to make a living off of my nonexistent asmr channel. occasionally i entertain the concept of being one of those travel vloggers, but idk. the world is so wide and vast, and that makes it really hard for me to ever just settle on one thing (which is probably why it took me forever to decide my major for uni? but that’s a discussion for another day)

wearing: groovy joggers + this giant tee shirt that i got from a latin convention/competition i went to my sophomore year of hs. it has quintus from the clc textbook reclining w a glass of wine + he’s like, paint me like one of your french girls uwu. However, the shirt always concerns me when I wear it bc it says “Caecilius; me pinge sicut francam feminam” but like. CAECILIUS IS HIS DAD D: he should be addressing celer, who was THE painter in the first clc textbook! (also everyone at my table in latin hardcore shipped quintus + celer so there’s that as well ahh. i remember the first time i wore this tee to school, the latin gang was like “HOLD THE FUCK UP WHAT???”)

i found the exact pose he’s in on my shirt fellas.. we must always praise filius in triclinio bibit..and truly, the rest of that textbook as well. it was a soap opera in textbook form, but the magistre gave up on my class (#pilotprogram gang :’| ) before we reached the third book so like. I will Never Know what the hell happened to quintus caecilius iucundus :(

favorite song: this changes constantly so i’ll just give y’all the current fave. this feels Mad Weird to type, but! the song i keep coming back to rn is an arrangement of Bottom of the River by Delta Rae that i sang at fsu’s choir camp last year! I’ve listened to a lot of different arrangements for this song, but i always come back to this one bc a) nostalgia and b) it just Fucking Slaps. i would love to revisit this arrangement and do it the justice it deserves :( the stomps in the beginning could have been better, and we slowed down in quite a few spots, which threw the solo + beatboxing off. which, ah!! the soloists for this song were amazing, and the beatboxing (which we’d only practiced w maybe once before the actual performance?) added a lot of movement to the overall sound too; it sucks that the choir fudged it. I’d love to hear this arrangement performed w a bit more polish!!

random fact: during that performance of Bottom of the River, i got so into the HUH SHHH chain motion that i like. pulled or cramped my entire arm? but i was High off of adrenaline from a solo i’d performed earlier in the small ensembles concert + the atmosphere of bottom of the river in particular that I didn’t realize I’d messed up my arm until after the performance! it was fine by the end of the night, but! i think this is a fun example of how mindless i can be when lost in the sauce of performing :D

aesthetics: papers all over the place, bleary eyes, i wouldn’t ask you + softly by clairo playing at the same exact time

tagging: @plaguelikeits1347 @uh-mozzaza @starsplatinum @tjsyas @tsuyukamis @wwweather and @1-or-a-0! additionally, there are a lot of wonderful people that i interact w on here whose urls escape me rn </3 mutual or not, if i’ve pulled a blank on you but you’d still like to do it, seriously please feel free to! you guys rock <3

#sriracha tag game #thank you again for the tag ruth!!!! seeing this in my notifs made my night better fr fr ; w ; <3 <3 <3 #also #i imPLORE YOU to check out the slideshow explanation of THE cambridge latin course textbook #by lana-loves-lingua-latina #because it is #SO GOOD #i miss the clc fandom ngl it was off the Shits

[starsmuserainbow]

10. How did you or what got you into rping?

RP Questions For The Mun 

Thank you for sending one!

10. How did you or what got you into rping? 

Into ‘writing stories together with others’ in general, that would be the playing that I did when I was younger together with my brother and a friend of us. We played in school-breaks, and eventually set up a few things on a page of guestbooks to write our stories.

Into RPing with ‘strangers’, here on tumblr, that’s some other story. I had no idea that RPCs exist, really, and one day I for whatever reason googled something about Madame Rouge. I found a post of a RPer here (that is still active, I think has changed URLs some time, but I’d rather avoid tagging them as I silently watch their blog we’re not mutuals) - a Kid Flash having been asked something along the lines of ‘who the heck is this madame rouge chick’ and answering it so hilariously entertaining. I kinda immediately fell in love with that portrayal (not that I knew to call it that at that time), looked around the blog some more and continued to do so every now and then. It took me some more years (I think) to actually be brave enough to make my own tumblr-acc, first without anything simply because I wanted to ‘follow’ that blog and some others.And then I learned more, looked up stuff about RPing on here, did my pages, and finally started peeking out into the RPC. An action that I wouldn’t change for anything - it’s been, more than not, a lovely experience and I’m really glad I found a place here. I’ll be eternally grateful for that blog (and a tiny bit sad that I never managed to relocate, and then re-read, the post that initially brought me into this).

#✫ Tamaran to Earth ✫ | Answered #✫ Out of Clurblopf ✫ | OOC #raventm

[innerpowercounseling-blog]

I Won't Kill Foxes...

I Won’t Kill Foxes in Breath of the Wild

(and I'm okay with that)

I can easily get lost in the kingdom of Hyrule—literally and metaphorically. Playing Breath of the Wild (BOTW) on my Switch, I’m taken in by the soothing sounds of my shoes tapping on the stone and the swishy clank of gear when I run. I’ve spent hours exploring the terrain, cutting through valleys or climbing mountains, looking in every nook and cranny for treasure and Korok seeds. I never take the path on the map.

Within this vast world, and with the aid of divinities and advanced technology, I—in the body of Link—have numerous choices. Combat aside, I can blow up trees for wood, tame wild horses, catch fish with my bare hands, cook my own meals, and move rocks around (not exciting but sometimes necessary). I can also hunt the local wildlife, from mountain goats to squirrels. I choose to live off foraged vegetation, but I have hunted boars or goats as needed and will sometimes kill a wolf if it continues to attack me.

I am not a vegan in the real world. I understand the circle of life and the need to protect oneself, or one’s character, from wild animal attacks. But I do not enjoy the killing of small animals, even in games. I don’t aim for squirrels, birds, or butterflies and I especially DO NOT kill foxes. It’s bad enough that I have to kill wolves when forced, and hear their sad puppy dog cries, but I just can’t do that to the fox.

Unlike wolves and other large wildlife who may charge if you get too close, the foxes are peaceful. They run when they see me, instead of turning to fight. I’ve never been attacked by one, and I mostly see them frolicking in flower fields or playfully chasing butterflies. When they are attacked, the foxes make heartbreaking little sounds, very squeaky, like newborn pups. They don’t even try to fight back; they just turn and run, crying as they go. I killed a fox in the beginning, not really sure of the game mechanics and how much food there would be. My heart immediately broke and I swore “Never again!” So, to avoid a stony heart turned black and icky by the oil of puppy murder, I swore off hunting most wildlife.  

In contrast, I am happy to clear out a band of Moblins and Bokoblins using swords, bombs, fire, electricity, whatever I have. I feel a sense of success when I am faster and more lethal than a Lizalfos, and I’ll proudly take down a Giant Stone Talus or a sleeping Hinox. But I won’t kill a fox. Truth be told, I am not bothered by this. It makes perfect sense to me, defining who I am as a person and as the Hero of Time. According to my moral rules, injustice must be conquered. I am not an aggressive person, but in a world of monsters I think it is appropriate to wield a sword and protect the innocent.

—We could easily launch into a discussion of how to define terms like “moral,” “immoral,” “sinister,” “evil,” “good,” and so on, but that would miss the point of this post. So for clarity, I’m using the terms in their simplest forms because they conjure a clear picture for most of us and we understand how those terms relate to games.—

When I embody a character, I want to give him or her my sense of the world—impart my beliefs, values, and preferences to whatever extent I can. I prefer games where character creation and narrative choices are largely in my hands. When that isn’t possible, I still appreciate playing as a character who shares my worldview in some way. I don’t need or even want to be the hero of my world, but I do like to feel that my presence has a purpose in the game. Link is undoubtedly designed to be a hero in the truest sense of the word—showing courage, strength, and virtue. He is not one of the popular antiheroes, who can sometimes summon enough energy to make good choices in the face of their darker nature, and often still for personal gain. While those characters can also be fun to embody (I like making them do nice things without pay) they typically have a different, more sinister flavor to them, with the message of the games they live in also feeling sinister.

I don’t want a world where we must do evil in order to do good. That does not make sense to me. I want a world where we fight evil by doing good, even when it is very, very hard. I want to be the person who makes the tough but right decisions, knowing that it will save my heart from stony blackness. I am not that person in every moment, but that is what I’m reaching for and I’m glad my gameplay reflects that. For me, it isn’t necessary to play through immoral decisions in order to feel and explore the weight of a wrong choice. I know what wrong choices will lead to, and how they feel. I want the experience of making a lot of valuable but difficult decisions, of being brave when I am afraid, and of being kind when I could be blindly enraged.

When we play video games, we invest our mental and emotional energy in the narrative or characters, often finding that the games become more real to us the more we invest ourselves in them (Bailey, Wise, & Bolls, 2009; Jin & Park, 2009; Lewis, Weber, & Bowman, 2008). We enter a virtual space but we remain self-aware, with some arguing that our moral choices in games still have real implications and that it is our moral awareness that actually makes in-game decisions meaningful (Sicart, 2009). If I go into a game deciding that all morality is out the door, then I don’t have to make tough decisions and nothing I do really matters. Essentially I’ve made the only real decision I’m going to make and there is no need to seek development as a character. I am just going to slash and dash, end of story.

If I choose to engage with my moral center intact, and be a version of myself in that game, then I have interesting choices ahead of me. Maybe I will help the widow, even though she cannot pay me. I won’t murder innocent people or rob them. It will probably take me longer to earn what I need when I could just steal it, but maybe that is how I make the game truly interesting—I survive by doing good in a world designed for atrocity.

Holding it all together, the good and the bad, I love games. I believe in their ability to impact and shape us, and I have hope that in the right hands games can be globally transformative (McGonigal, 2011). I know the power of what I interact with. That being said, I feel really good when I pass a little red fox moving peacefully through the grassy meadows of Hyrule. I am on my way to conquer the ultimate evil, and he is trying to eat a butterfly. The world is as it should be.         

References

Bailey, R., Wise, K., & Bolls, P. (2009). How avatar customizability affects children’s arousal and subjective presences during junk food-sponsored online video games. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 12(3), 277-283. doi:10.1089/cpb.2008.0292

Jin, S., & Park, N. (2009). Parasocial interaction with my avatar: Effects of interdependent self-construal and the mediating role of self-presence in an avatar-based console game, wii. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 12(6), 723-727. doi:10.1089/cpb.2008.0298  

Lewis, M., Weber, R., Bowman, N. (2008). “They may be pixels, but they’re my pixels:” Developing a metric of character attachment in role-playing video games. CyberPsychology, 11(4), 515-518. doi:10.1089/cpb.2007.0137

McGonigal, J. (2011). Reality is broken: Why games make us better and how they can change the world. New York, NY: Penguin Books.

Sicart, M. (2009). The Ethics of Computer Games. Boston: MIT Press. Retrieved from http://ezproxy.baylor.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=nlebk&AN=259281&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Disclaimer:This is a blog, which contains a mixture of my current knowledge and opinions. The information is accurate to the best of my knowledge but may contain omissions, errors, or mistakes. I am a psychologist licensed to practice in the state of Washington, but this article does not create a psychologist-client relationship. I am providing psychological information and my own opinions for informational purposes only, and anything I present should not be seen as psychological, emotional, or medical advice or treatment. You should consult with a mental health professional or your primary care physician before you rely on this information or take any action. I reserve the right to change how I manage or run my blog and may change the focus or content at any time.

#gaming #zelda #the legend of zelda #breath of the wild #self #morality #gamer #video games #therapy #psychology #good vs evil #choice #hero #villain

[goldenscript]

for the requests, i really like the idea of a fluffy freelance web designer idea - title would be something like "the cryptography of your heart" (oh god that was greasy nvm) with namjoon?

pairing: kim namjoon | readergenre: slice of life au / tooth-rotting fluffy fluff, youtuber x freelance web designer word count: 1,529 author’s note: the title isn’t stupid at all!!!! i think it’s lovely

How to tell someone I like them, the Google browser reads.

Cluttered around the stark white screen are the search results consisting of endless results for tutorials, articles, and even Pinterest boards about how to go about the perfect confession. While some are witty, tempting even, there are others that actually elicit an abrupt strangled sound from the researcher.

“What do I do?”

“Just tell her,” Jimin tells him dumbfoundedly. The younger man’s expression matches his tone, looking at Namjoon as if this was simply ordering a caramel macchiato from the coffee shop down the street. As if casually telling his client that he likes them and wants to date them and hold their hand and kiss their cheek and take them to his favorite bookstores and listen to their music recommendations and their childhood stories and—! (Well, you get the picture.) But from Jimin’s tone, it is as though telling Y/N is easy. As if it weren’t enough that you were severely out of his league as it is.

In response, he simply frowns.

“What?”

“It’s not that simple…” Namjoon sighs, already knowing what the conversation that will ensue engails afterwards. He decides he would rather nip it in the bud now than listen to the incredulous accusations later. “And before you ask me how it isn’t that simple, then you gotta understand that I’ve never told anyone that I liked them before.”

Jimin blinks, tilting his head to the side. It is the first he has heard of this sort of thing from Namjoon, but then again relationship talk just hasn’t been the hot topic between the two of them. Jimin knows that Namjoon isn’t keen on leaving his apartment unless it’s for coffee and his job, sometimes if he’s forced out by him or Jungkook (on the days that Jungkook isn’t tempted to sit in and tinker with film editing software, of course). It’s strange to consider though.

When Jimin really thinks about Kim Namjoon and his dating life, it hits him how nonexistent it is. He realizes the great deal of lacking that he never once considered, and a sympathetic look glosses over his cherub-like features before contorting in confusion.

“What do you mean you’ve never confessed to anyone before?”

It’s the dreaded question. One that Namjoon feels the anxiety prickle on his nerves as he glances back at the screen, taking mental notes of the successes and failures that have come with confessing to a crush. That is why. He has heard the horror stories, watched them unfold in adolescence, and dreaded suffering from the same fate.

He is no brave man, you know. Laying his heart out on the line is a hefty deed that makes his stomach queasy and his heart the exact replica of mush. Instead of going into any elaborate detail, not that there is a huge amount to talk about in the first place, he simply shakes his head.

“I just haven’t.”

“…Like not even once though?” Jimin tries once more, wanting to comprehend this statement. Surely, Namjoon had done this at least once.

“Really, I haven’t,” he repeats, looking a little more distraught. He is so new to the idea of romantic love that it’s actually kind of debilitating. And he knows he likes you a whole fuckton. When he thinks about going over to a café to work on your website with you, he can’t help but feel butterflies flutter in his stomach. When he hears about your day, he wants to keep hearing you talk. And god, when you ask him about his and about what he likes and dislikes, it’s… different. In the best way possible. “It never occurred to me that I should. At least until now.”

“You really like Y/N that much?” Jimin muses, eyes flickering to Namjoon’s second screen where your website is pulled up.

Namjoon nods, “A fuckton.”

“She’s supposed to double-check your code before it goes up right?”

Namjoon nods slowly, trying to comprehend. Of course, he’s quick to answer, “I mean she has another comp-sci friend to check it for her though.”

“But she’d still look it over too, right?”

“Yeah, she can be pretty anal about that stuff.”

Jimin giggles, earning a glare from Namjoon as he asks, “So, what are you getting at, pervert?”

“I’m not a pervert!” Jimin pouts, though Namjoon can tell he’s still trying to stop his quivering lip. “But why don’t you just confess to her in the code?”

Namjoon’s jaw drops, “You’re shitting me right? That’s so cheesy…”

“Well, do you have anything better? Can you go up to her and actually her to her face that you like her?”

“Well… no.”

“Then? What else do you have to lose?”

Namjoon considers Jimin’s words as carefully as problem sets from Professor Lim, knowing that despite all his certainties, some attempts are still a hit-or-miss. He knows that whatever happens, happens. He either takes that leap of faith or stays by the ledge, wondering what-if.

His gaze flickers up to the second monitor right then.

He sees your smile etched in between the little symbols, the memories of conversations spent just deciding on a color theme, and a hope that maybe you saw something in him through all that time too.

And with that, he comes to a decision.

“Might as well just leap. It might hurt less.”

/

“Check your code.”

You blink at Yoongi, almost alarmed at the sudden drawl of his voice. As soon as you got the green light from Namjoon, you had Yoongi come over to look it over for one more final look and you’re not sure how to feel about the blond’s curving lips. “What? Why?”

His brief amusement melts away as soon as he clicks his tongue at you.

“It’s a rule of thumb to always check your code, dipshit.”

“You say this like I was the one who created it. I hired someone to do it, y’know. And, I’m having you check it. For free. Like the good friend that you are.”

He rolls his eyes, “Yeah, well, still. Check it.”

“Is there something I should know about?” you ask, wondering if somehow Namjoon made a mistake. Is that why he made you pay less than the estimated amount? You frown at the thought, wondering if maybe he was having an off day the last time you both finalized the code. Though if you’re being quite honest you do know you’re going to miss meeting up with him.

“Er… well, I’ll let you be the judge of that—it’s definitely something you needa check out though.”

You even receive a shake of the head, a deflection that doesn’t go unnoticed, earning your long-time friend a small glare before you change tabs from YouTube to your website’s url. It piques your interest knowing that maybe this might be another reason to see that adorable chestnut-haired man again.

“Alright, fine.”

You scroll to the lines where Yoongi instructs you in the Python program.

‘’’

Hi Y/N. I’m sure you won’t overlook this message, and I’ll understand completely if you decide to delete out or if you never talk to me again, but that last day we spent together I wanted to tell you a lot of things. I wanted to know more about you. Not just from your videos, but from you. The real behind-the-scenes. I think about it a lot. I think about you a lot. Um… God. This is my first time so have a little mercy, okay? I like you. A lot.I’d like to take you out for an espresso. Wait. You hate those. What about brunch at  flâneur? I hear it’s great. I honestly don’t how this works, really, so if this goes completely wrong, please put all blame on Park Jimin, a dance major at Seoul University. Anyway…. um, good luck! (God, please tell me if I just fucked up my first confession, ever, because I could take all the pointers I can get.)

‘’’

A smile curves on your lips when you look at Yoongi, who only snickers at you.

“I told you so, dipshit.”

/

A ding emits from his nightstand.

Namjoon has to hold his breath, wondering if maybe it was another message from Jimin asking if you talked him about what he left for you in the code. He admits it was pretty lame and stupid, but was there really another way? Could he really face you without being tongue-tied and pink in the cheeks? His visages contort in embarrassment at the thought, releasing a deep sigh before unlocking the phone without a second thought.

[11:34 AM] y/n interesting final touches on the code. I have to say I accept. I think flâneur is perfect. how does today at 2 sound?

[11:34 AM] y/n btw, no pointers or pointed fingers needed. it was pretty perfect already

He grins to himself, unable to contain his cries of joy or the flopping of his limbs. The sun is bright and the day is so fucking beautiful.

He tells you that it’s perfect and that he can’t wait.

The leap isn’t so bad after all.

#bangtan bookclub #sfwbangtan #bts writing squad #btswriters #kfluffnet #namjoon scenarios #namjoon fluff #namjoon fanfic #namjoon au #bts scenarios #bts au #bts fluff #bts fanfic #namjoon x reader #emswriting #d:milestone

[fyodorscenarios]

Tagged by @yokohamastraydogs . Thank you!

Tag game under the cut cause it’s kinda long:

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

No one had this url yet so it was kinda the obvious choice based on what I was planning on posting. It doesn’t get more straightforward than this kids. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

I didn’t take Wattpad into account because I’m lazy. The most I have on Tumblr is 42 notes on this one. Kinda surprising since I usually get 10-20 something notes on most stuff here. This scenario is an outlier lol. 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

I don’t use AO3 much and I don’t even think my account had an icon. 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I appreciate all the comments I get, so I don’t think I really have any favourite people who do so. 

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I mostly just go back and read Fyodor related scenarios that are actually decent. They’re in short supply. 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

None lol, even when I used AO3 regularly I never did anything like that.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

I mostly like writing AUs based on other fictional media I really like. Usually films, but I also have that Crime & Punishment AU. 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

I have 451 followers right now. 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

I can’t really think of anything off the top of my head. I mean I do have some fucked up smut ideas but I can’t write smut for shit even if it’s vanilla. 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I’d like to get better at writing smut, and just in general writing actions because I think that’s a major problem of mine. I also need to get better at replying to comments because I never know what to say to people. Of course it would also be nice if I was able to update more frequently. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

I don’t write ships...

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

None.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

15. Seems like a lot but I only write scenarios. I’ve never written a full story with chapters because I have commitment issues. At the most I’ve only done a sequel type thing. 

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I have a list of a bunch of ideas. If an idea gets big enough and I feel the need to write it, I’ll write down all the stuff I can think of for it in a document. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

No. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

Probably when I was looking for fanfiction in 2013. I won’t mention the fandom because I kinda regret being into it now. I read a lot of things I shouldn’t have read at 14.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

No lmao. Fyodor’s not a super popular character as it is. I feel like I’m probably well known enough for my liking though. 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

No. I’m not that corny lol

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Ummm, idk? I do like novels but idk if any of them ever inspired me to write all that much. I’ve never really written a decent original story because in all honesty I don’t care much about that. I write this stupid fanfiction as wish fulfillment for myself because nobody would do it for me at the time. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Practice a lot, read a lot. I say read because it’ll help broaden your horizons, vocabulary, and give you ideas on styles to experiment with. You’ll likely also get a lot of inspiration from a good book, so don’t only read fanfiction. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Sometimes I just have a rough idea and start from there. In other cases I have most of what I want to happen written out and I just have to connect all of the pieces. Usually when it’s the latter though a lot ends up changing as I write. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

I don’t think I’ve had a bad comment before. The worst I’ve gotten is someone asking about the logic I used once, and I replied with what I actually meant. They were nice about it though originally and understood where I was coming from after I informed them. I’ve also had people point out a pun I accidentally made once, it kinda detracted from the seriousness of the story so looking back on it I feel like a dumbass. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Anything involving describing movement in all honesty. It’s at the point where I’d rather just only write dialogue, I love dialogue. 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Just working on requests. I also have some ongoing one shots I thought of myself that I might finish eventually. 

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Yeah. I just write what I’m in the mood for sometimes, so there’s a few things that only have a page written or haven’t been touched in ages. 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

No. I’m really busy so I usually just write whenever I have free time and feel like it. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Yeah, for sure. I’m not sure if it’s by much but I do see it. 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Hmm, not sure. Though I like my angst more than anything else usually.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

I’m not really a big fan of the first one I wrote, since it’s mediocre. I’m also not super into the high school AU I did a little bit after that. 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

I don’t plan on writing for my career and I don’t see myself continuing to write fanfic for that long. By then at most I’d probably be writing papers for grad school or writing a report for my job.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Dialogue -- for me at least. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Describing movement and actions.

33. Why do you write?

It’s something to do with my free time. It’s also partially for wish fulfillment. 

-

Most people have probably be tagged already and I need to get back to studying now... 

#about #damn this took a while

[deletingpoint]

11 Questions (tagging game)

Rules:

1. Post the rules

2. Answer the questions given to you.

3. Make 11 questions of your own.

4. Tag 11 people

Tagged by the wonderful @60r3d0m (btw, this was the reason i finally understood what your url means! a bit of a facepalm)

1. What episode/season of Supernatural was the first that you watched alongside the fandom on Tumblr? It has to be 11x11 Into the Mystic, because i joined tumblr after 11x10 aired. The Devil in the Details made me fall for this show again, so for the first time I was in desperate need for more fandom content. 

2. What’s your favourite Supernatural season? What’s your least fav.? Why? Season 13? :) Ok, probably season 12. I love how they changed it up and mirrors became broken mirrors and the overall feeling of hope for the light at the end of the tunnel took over. (I loved the second half of season 11 as well, especially the fact that Amara didn’t die, but the whole God business is just kinda whatever for me) I love(d) seasons 4/5, but  they’re extremely depressing. They had this caged feel, no hopeful or positive option or exit, no room to breathe, like buried alive. So, for that reason i can’t say they’re my favourite. I don’t really want to rewatch that time period, no matter how great the episodes are.

Least favourite? Season 6. It had too many things scattered all over the place and they ended up breaking viewers’ hearts. The audience was deceived the same way Dean was, we only had one episode from Cas’s point of view and by the end of it i just felt betrayed. (betrayed enough to take a break from watching it in season 7, which wasn’t actually a bad season)

3. When did you start shipping Dean/Cas? Any particular moment/aspect of the story that made you do it? If you had the power, how would you choose to canonize it? It happened without me noticing it, the same way they fell in love. I was the general audience, without really caring what kind of relationship they have, but loving their scenes together. I actually think it was some crack video on YouTube that made me see it clearly (i used to watch them before joining tumblr, s 10-11 hiatus). I can’t pinpoint the moment, i only know i had no idea what shipping is prior to season 11 and when i found out i just knew i’d always shipped them and that’s why i had the urge to hide my face during 8x07 for example.

How would i make it textual (cause they kinda are canon)? I don’t think i have a preference. They have so much history that it could work in different ways. I want them to use words though. Even if it’s a confession to someone else, i want it to be clearly spelled out for the audience before they crash their mouths together.

4. For Supernatural, if you write fic./make art (or both), what’s something that you’ve created that you wished more people would read/see? If you don’t write fic./make art, what’s a fic./art piece that you feel deserves more attention?  I’ve only written a few codas for Supernatural. And then there’s Shading Identity, which is a cross-over with Numb3rs and doesn’t have a lot of activity. It’s not half bad, but i haven’t updated since August. (Go someone leave me a comment and i’ll scribble the next chapter! :))  As of recommendations i made a post a while ago, should probably make another soonish though.

5. Which Supernatural character are you most like and why? Which character is your favourite and why? If i’m very honest, then probably Sam. I hide my feelings very well and I don’t talk about them. At the same time i’m a bit like Dean as well, cause i tend to suppress myself and do what’s expected of me. Obviously i can be like Cas too, with the feeling as if you don’t really belong. A bit of everyone really. Maybe that’s why i don’t have a favourite either. (though after 13x03 i’d go for Jody, she truly is pretty amazing. good people :))

6. What’s a nightmare that you had that you can never forget? What happened in it that made you so afraid? So, i was sleeping over at my friend’s place. I knew she had problems with nightmares (the classic demon sitting on your chest trying to take over thing) and ghosts stay close to her (i have no idea how real it is, but that’s what she’s told me). Ok, we were sleeping in the same bed, at some point i woke up and i saw her nightmare. This dark entity that had no interest in me and tried to get to her, but since i was in the way it couldn’t. I wasn’t really sure what to make of it in the morning, it seemed so real.  About half a year later i had a nightmare about her, how she was convinced that a little girl was possessed and wanted to kill her. I woke up in cold sweat. I wrote to her, asking if she was okay cause i’d had a dream about her (i quite often write to people when i’ve had a vivid dream about them). And she had had a nightmare the same night, about a girl with black holes as her eyes. But no, i haven’t had true nightmares of my own.

7. What’s an embarrassing thing that happened to you that you find hilarious looking back on? Or alternatively, what’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you, regardless of whether it’s hilarious now or not? I changed schools before 10th grade, didn’t know anyone, had only seen my classmates once and i don’t have a good memory for faces. We were divided in groups for English classes and so there were several room numbers for them in the time plan. I was late, didn’t know which room to go to, took a guess and opened a door. No one really said anything so i figured it was the right one, started to take a seat, take out my things when someone finally said: “You do know it’s 12th grade, right?”

8. What is one thing that someone’s said that stuck with you? Why did it stick? I just keep remembering negative things... Oh, my math teacher said after giving back the statistics test that i was an extremely brave girl. I have no idea what he meant by that, maybe the fact that i started the solution in one way, but kept messing up and had to start again, but instead of doing it the other way i used the one i had decided on... i don’t know, but i got an A so that’s good.

9. What is one issue (global, social-justice-related or something along those lines) that is important to you? Why? Kids allowed to be kids and themselves. Just 18 years of a person’s life can mess up decades and decades of their future. 

10. What is one thing that you wish that you could change about yourself? Why? I wish i had more self confidence and courage to be honest and true to my feelings even if it leads to a conflict with others.

11. What was the last thing that put a smile on your face and made your heart twinge with happiness? The ending of 13x05. No, really! I’ve smiled and laughed since then but my heart hasn’t twinged with happiness like that. I’m trying to remember the last time... probably when i was performing my poetry/songs and it was well received. Kind of creates this amazing atmosphere and electricity, some kids actually believing i was a witch. Last time i was happy was when i published my book.  My questions:

1. What is your favourite mythological creature/being and why?

2. How long have you been on tumblr and why did you join?

3. What’s you favourite trope? Why?

4. What makes you feel joyful?

5. Do you believe in supernatural? Have any interesting stories to tell (one way or the other)?

6. Do you like children’s books/movies? Why?

7. Do you believe in anything? What and why?

8. Who did you want to become when you were a kid? 

9. Do you love music? Why do you love it?

10. What made you say or think “so beautiful!” the last time?

11. What do you like about humans?

Anyone who wants to answer these, go ahead and please tag me, i would love to see your answers! And I’m gonna tag people from my recent activity @procasdeanating @i-am-not-sweet-enough-for-you @imnottellingyoumyfuckingurl @freedomcraziness @thedogsled @trippedandfellintopurgatory @silviaelric @starkytower @fangirl-with-no-life-2101 @unpaintedhappytree @unluckyfairy13 Feel free to ignore! :)

#about me #tumblr things #tag games

[sambashua]

orange sherbet

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEEPY @chipsandwaffles ??? what url to tag tbh well your birthday is tomorrow but ! here it is~ enjoy this shit show and congrats on being old:D thanks for being a great friendo!

Basically Doyoung works in an ice cream parlor and it’s really cheesy and cliche but the shop is based on the one they went to for the boy video if you want reference i guess❁ this is just...actually 2k words worth of pure trash

Your shoes clacked along the pavement as you made your way home from university. Another long day of classes left you tired, cranky and, of course, hungry.

Ducking between tiny patches of shade to avoid the beating sun did little to help in the relentless humidity, and you sped up to make the stoplight.

As expected, you just barely missed it.

While you huddled in a sliver of shade cast by the traffic light, you spotted a colorful shop out of the corner of your eye. It couldn’t hurt to take a quick peek before the light turned again right?

As you inch closer you can see the delicate pink paint and large windows decorated with neon signs that reveal an inviting ice cream parlor. You glance over your shoulder to check the light, and after ensuring it was still red, you slip inside the glass door.

The rush of cool air was enough to knock you off your feet, but you merely stumbled in from the humid air. You faintly register the delicate ring of a bell signaling your entrance.

An overwhelmingly sweet scent clung to the air and enveloped you in a blanket of icy sugar.

The shop was empty, which could be expected on a late Thursday afternoon in that heat, and surprisingly small. A metallic counter took up the majority of the space with shorter counters along the windows lined with seats.

Just as you were mustering up the strength to go back outside and brave the heat once more, a door behind the counter swung open and a beautiful boy stepped out.

Well not a boy, a young man? He looked to be near the same age as you. Just as you were about to run out to avoid having to interact with a real person, he spoke up.

“Hi! can I help you?”

Instead of letting you respond he listed out the day’s specials and gestured to the different cup sizes all while smiling brightly. Your mind cranked, trying to string together enough words to form some sort of coherent sentence in your overheated and sleep-deprived state, but the ice cream boy prattled on.

“So you could get one flavor or a mix of two for the same amount!” his voice dropped and he leaned closer and cupped a hand around his mouth. “I can even throw in three flavors if you want. It’s been a super slow day and I’m the only employee here.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he was off again, running his mouth at an impressive speed.

Damn does this kid ever stop talking?

His sentence trailed off as he tried to explain how every flavor was made in-house and their ingredients were imported from the finest blah blah.

“I’m so sorry, ah, my friends always tell me I ramble when I-“ he blurted out awkwardly.

Your jaw slacked when you realized why he changed topics, “Oh, shit did I say that out loud? Fuck- shoot sorry for cursing.”

He shook his head and laughed a bit at your equally flustered state, “I’m Doyoung by the way. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before?”

You offered your name in return and shrugged, “I guess I’ve never noticed it.”

The growl of your stomach echoed above the soft music playing, reminding you that you had places to be.

Doyoung smiled again (or had he ever stopped?), offering his services once more.

Choosing your favorite flavor and sitting at the window, he settled down beside you and continued to strike up conversation. Or rather, continued to babble as you listened. He was so damn cute you didn’t even mind.

“Really, do you ever take a breath?” you teased.

“Usually no one has anything interesting to say,” he shot back.

You rolled your eyes and shifted your weight so you faced away from him to continue eating your ice cream.

You could sense Doyoung’s pout before you turned to look. His lips sunk down at the corners with eyebrows furrowed above sad, dark (and cute) eyes. Despite yourself, you felt a tug at your stupid heart.

His face returned to a blinding smile as you punched his arm and told him to go on.

“You’re cute when you’re annoyed,” he said.

❁

Your shoes clacked along the pavement as you made your way to Doyoung’s ice cream parlor, like every afternoon after your classes.

The bounce in your steps reflected your excitement to see the talkative boy. But you’d never let him know that. His ego was already big enough. You simply pretend you need a place to escape the heat and your obnoxious roommates.

Although you’d never admit it, your daily visits to the shop were the highlight of your day.

After sitting at the corner near the window all afternoon studying and savoring the ice cream flavor of the day, you now perched atop the counter beside the cash register and watched Doyoung count the money and rush around the shop clearing surfaces, sweeping and straightening every last chair.

“You know this would go a lot faster if you helped,” your friend complained.

You scoffed. “You’re the one getting payed Dodo! And I’m busy.”

He rolled his eyes are you turned back to tapping away at your phone. That didn’t keep you from stealing glances at him and smirking to yourself.

A soft laugh escaped you as he bumped his head as he tried to stand after reaching a paper underneath a table.

He turned sharply and pointed a finger, “Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, punk.”

One hand instinctively slapped over your mouth and you saluted with the other. “Yes, sir!” you said with your eyes still crinkled in amusement.

❁

Your shoes clacked along the pavement as you hurried to the parlor, later than usual.

Upon entering the shop one afternoon, you registered Doyoung wore a baseball cap which partially covered his orange (;)))) hair that you’d definitely need to steal later. You also noticed that the usually quiet store bustled with movement.

Nearly twenty boys crowded around the small counter, practically blocking Doyoung from view. Dodging elbows and shoulders, you narrowly managed to squeeze through the throng and darted behind the counter to hide behind the safety of Doyoung and the cash register until the group dispersed.

Instead of the look of stress you expected to see etched on Doyoung’s soft features, you saw a look of calm and even… anticipation?

“Y/N!” Doyoung grabbed your wrist before you could reach the alcove between the wall and the freezer and pulled you into his side. “See, guys? I told you I had a girlfriend!”

“Gir-?!” Doyoung quickly pinched your bicep with the arm he had wrapped around your shoulders, cutting you off.

“Can you believe these dorks thought I could never find a girl to tolerate me long enough to date me, babe?” Before you make a second exclamation he continued on. “Y/N, these are my friends from my uni club I told you about? Remember?”

You leafed through your memory and vaguely recalled one of Doyoung’s long rants involving the boys in his performance group teasing him often.

Playing along, you wrapped your arms loosely around his waist and nuzzled your head into his chest.

Fuck he smelled so good.

“Doyoungie, why didn’t you introduce me to your friends earlier?” you whined and put on a pouty gaze to look up at his chin.

You felt him exhale a breath and smile proudly. He owed you, like, at least five free ice creams.

Doyoung tried his best to introduce all his friends but the seemingly endless smiling faces began to blur together. You vaguely remembered a Mark and a few J names and a Tae-something? It didn’t matter much because Doyoung looked so happy to be talking with his friends. Your hand fisted into the fabric of his shirt as you saw a grin light up his face and adorably crinkled his eyes. Fuck.

The tallest boys smiled broadly, “I’m so glad you finally got together with Y/N, Doyoung. You haven’t shut up about her for months!”

You couldn’t stop your jaw from dropping, but, luckily, Doyoung’s hand was right there to shut your damn mouth.

❁

As soon as Doyoung closed the shop door behind the last of them, he turned on his heel and looked at you grimly. Your foot tapped rhythmically on the tile and you crossed your arms expectantly. Doyoung offered a sheepish (ha) grin and laughed breathily.

“Heyyyy-“ he scratched the back of his neck, while drawling on. “Hmm… wasn’t that something…”

“Oh, so now you have nothing to say?” you asked with raised eyebrows.

He looked anywhere but at you, and made a move to the register, but you stepped in his path. With a quirk of your head he stopped mere centimeters away. His proximity almost made you want to catch your breath and step down and drop your questions. Almost.

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

“Y/N,” he lifted his cap to run a hand through his hair, still avoiding eye contact. “I have to close up the shop.”

You scowled as he tried to move past you one more time. A hand on his chest froze him in his tracks.

“Doyoung, I swear to fuck. Fucking talk to me, you loser.” You couldn’t keep the scowl on your face from turning into a pout as he finally looked into your eyes.

“Why hadn’t you just told me to act as your girlfriend or whatever before? You could have given me a heads up!” you said.

Doyoung let out a sigh and his hand ran along the back of his neck, “I just-” he paused. “I just didn’t know how you would take it… I don’t know it’s dumb. I’m sorry.”

“Doyoung, it’s no big deal really I don’t-”

“It’s a big deal to me!” he cut off sharply.

You took half a step back in surprise. Why was he so worked up about this? But you let your hand fall that you hadn’t even noticed was still rested on his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes slowly. His face scrunched up and he let out a long sigh.

“I just, fuck. I really like you, Y/N. Okay? But I don’t want to make things weird between us, so I act like everything we do isn’t a big deal even though I think about every second we spend together and think about how it would be different if I could just kiss you or hold your hand or tell you how much I like you. I want to grab your face and tell you how fucking cute you are when you pout or when you get mad at me or when you’re studying or watching me work while you pretend to be on your phone. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me when you make me laugh or how much joy you’ve brought into my dumb life when you walked into this stupid store. But I don’t want to do anything because you just think I’m a loser and a weirdo and I-”

You cut him off abruptly by pressing your own lips roughly against his and unabashedly throwing your arms around his neck.

The force of your sudden act caught Doyoung off balance, and caused a chair to topple over loudly. But he somehow was able to keep upright, and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

“You are a weirdo, you loser.” You breathlessly managed once you broke apart. “But that’s why I like you, too.”

Doyoung smiled so brightly heart began to swell with joy.

He brought your lips to his again.

#nct #nct scenarios #doyoung scenarios #look sheep i'm providing content for the tag #i hope this makes your day slightly better???? i did my best truly eep asjkdhkfjdal #i tried to kinda match your personality but you're too badass for me to write so #pls don't read this @ anyone else bc it's actually rlly bad and gross omg #@ sheep rip sorry but at least it's dodo agjhdfskjd #ily bud! #have a great day! #and days until your birthday! #!!!! #doyoung #eep sheep #mir mumbles #y'all i'm a nonfiction writer i'm not cut out for /creativity/ #also i'm worried abt the formatting and typos so lemme know pls #i just came up w the title on the fly ! #it's bc ! his orange hair ! #so ! creative ! #ew can i shut up #i'm never writing ever again sorry

[daltongraham]

venting. lots and lots of venting. you do not need to read this to prove your friendship to me.

I am having an unbelievably scuzzy day so far. For no good reason. I woke from a desperately sad dream and I miss my mom so much it’s not possible to put into words.

Fuck death. Fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it. “All lives end, all hearts are broken,” Mycroft said. And it’s wrong, it’s just wrong that this is how the world works.

The demon is back at the end of the hall. I keep reading posts about demons and it seems as reasonable a metaphor as any. There is something about the darkness of the hallway that leads from the bedroom to the bathroom that embodies the horror of my grief and of the helplessness and dysphoria from my surgery last year. There is terror in that hallway. I keep the light on there at night, and I look at it and remind myself that it’s no different than it’s always been, it’s just a place with sinks and a door to a closet and a door to a tiny room with my toilet and my bath, and there’s nothing there. Nothing but air and ordinariness.

But try to tell that to my terror.

I read a story today where someone talked to their demon. Maybe I’ll try that. But right now I’m just sobbing--lots of crying jags lately, no idea why, other than the general state of my life and health and just...like...why should general, constant conditions lead to sudden crying jags? (This is rhetorical my friends)

In addition to being very disabled, I am now officially sick, with the inflammation of my kidney and ureter, so that can’t be helping my mood, I guess. I was doing pretty well yesterday, until last night...pretty cheerful, able to get stuff done, actually had some energy. But I keep slipping into this place where I don’t feel quite like myself, like one of those blurry pictures where the printer got the 2 colors just slightly off-center. Like my self-ness is not quite pinned down in place.

The sun is shining, and it’s not too cold in here, but I feel existentially dark and chilly. 

I realized this morning that my career is over. I realized that I used to lightly discuss whether I wanted to go into management or not (I actually ended up as a manager for 6 months before being unable to work any more...I sucked at it). And now I am like my aunt, who stopped being able to even be a part-time secretary at this age. 

(I am not impugning being a secretary. I have been a secretary many times. It is hard work.)

At best I can maybe hope to do volunteer work in my profession, maybe years from now, if I ever overcome any of these conditions. And I’ll tell you, I would be fucking thrilled to be able to even do that. Just to be able to think clearly enough and have enough energy to play around with data for an hour or two a day. But I cannot see that happening, not even that, the way things are going. They are getting worse. I keep having new things go wrong. My body is shit. I keep thinking in terms of one of my fave blog’s URL, “hey at least it’s not cancer”. 

I’m too sick to go home to my dad for xmas. Another holiday spent alone, for him. He has friends and relatives, and he’s being very brave and saying it’ll be fine, but I should be there with him. I’m too feeble to see my nieces’ holiday play. I can barely go to a restaurant. 

This weekend one of my nieces asked if I could drive. She’s never seen me drive, not since she’s been old enough to remember. My nieces saw me break down in uncontrollable tears this weekend (probably not a bad thing, as life lessons go, but surely not what I wanted them to see). F asked why I was crying, and it was so hard to explain. (There was a proximate cause that time...I’d just found out that unless we change my next doc appointments--which are rather critical--my partner won’t be able to see his girls’ xmas pageant. He doesn’t care that much, nor do they. But it wrecked me. Taking me to my endless appointments will keep him from even that. Their first xmas play.)

Today is not one of my more graceful days.

#negativity #personal #spoonies

[torterragarden]

top 5 female and top 5 male characters in anything (top 10 if 5 isnt enough), add reasons if you want to 🙋 and a happy new year 🙌

OKAY SO I’M FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO POSTING MY ANSWER FOR THIS THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT. I spent so much time thinking about this because I loved this question and I ended up coming up with a top 10 female characters + reasons and I probably went way overboard like this is so long and I’m sorry. So unfortunately I haven’t made a list for male characters because I got so extra with this female characters list, but another time perhaps. Anyway, top 10 female characters here we go!!

10. Piper Mclean, Heroes of Olympus series - I think what I really like about Piper is that she has a lot of qualities that badly written female characters tend to have, but… she’s written well. What I mean is like… Piper is selfish. She’s whiny. She’s a brat. She’s emotional. Usually when a female character has traits like that, she isn’t likable and probably wasn’t intended to be. But Piper is given a depth and respect that those other female characters aren’t usually afforded. She’s flawed, but she knows it, and she hates her flaws and she tries to better herself. And she’s more than those flaws too! She’s brave and kind and loving, and her emotions - all of them, no matter how ugly - are ultimately her strength. I love that she’s allowed to be so emotional, that it’s good that she’s so emotional, because I feel like there’s this idea that female characters have to be emotionless in order to be “strong” or whatever so anyway yeah I love Piper

9. Emily Davis, Until Dawn - I have a knack for taking a liking to female characters that the majority of the fandom hates, and then loving them even more out of spite. Admittedly, a lot of my aggressive love for Emily is a reaction to the amount of (unfair, reeking of double standards and sexism) hatred she gets in the fandom, but even disregarding that, I do really like her. I started liking her very early on in Until Dawn. She seemed like she had a lot of personality and I liked that, and I only liked her more as the game went on. I mean… I literally have a post listing all of the reasons that I love Emily so that should tell you everything, right?

8. Amethyst, Steven Universe - I hesitated to put Amethyst on the list, since I’m not sure if she technically counts as “female”, but at the very least I think it’s fair to say that she’s female-coded and female-aligned so… I thought it would be okay? She would probably have been a lot higher up if not for the fact that I’ve lost a lot of my interest in SU, but I still love Amethyst a hell of a lot. I relate to her very strongly, for reasons that are not super comfortable to talk about. Much like Amethyst, I tend to bottle up everything and let it eat away at me until everything just explodes in the ugliest way. I think very little of myself, but I try my best to stay chill-passing because I’d rather die than tell anyone how I’m actually feeling. I don’t like going into detail about this but basically Amethyst is important to me because I relate to her in a lot of ugly and painful ways, and loving Amethyst is almost like learning to love myself. Almost.

7. Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time - It’s funny that Adventure Time as a whole is one of those “I Definitely Like This But I’m Not Super Passionate About It” things, but there are like, four things in that show that I do feel Super Passionate about. Princess Bubblegum is one of them (the other three are Ice King, Marceline, and Bubbline, in case you were wondering). Gotdamn dude I love Princess Bubblegum and I think she doesn’t get nearly enough attention for being as interesting as she is. From the beginning I loved how she was simultaneously really sweet and morally ambiguous, that’s a really funny and intriguing dichotomy. I love that while she’s ultimately working for the Greater Good™, she’s really ruthless and vindictive. She has good intentions but she’s so very flawed, and she can be downright terrifying. Bubblegum is just endlessly fascinating to me and I really love her.

6. Cassie Cage, Mortal Kombat - Well obviously she had to be on this list, she’s where I got my url from. My love for Cassie Cage is less about who she is and more about what she represents to me, I think. Mortal Kombat isn’t exactly known for having great depictions of female characters but they did improve a lot in Mortal Kombat X, and I fell in love with Cassie partially because, to me, she embodied a lot of the positive changes. I loved that she was the heroine of MKX, I loved that she wasn’t overtly sexualized, I loved that she was funny and confident and just so damn cool, in that way that classic action heroes are cool. Chewing bubblegum and flipping people off and sassing everyone and just being exactly what comes to mind when you think “bad ass”. She was so different and so unexpected and I was so pleasantly surprised with Cassie Cage.

5. Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games - Katniss is one of the most important fictional characters ever written okay. This is a girl who grew up in extreme poverty, who took it upon herself to take care of her family at age 12, who was hardened because of her circumstances but still compassionate, and still so vulnerable. She suffered from severe PTSD, she was used as a pawn by the Capitol and by the rebels, she was manipulated and taken advantage of and she lost everything because of it. And in the end she still found a way to stand up and keep going. She didn’t magically get better but she made a life worth living for herself, even if she had to constantly remind herself of the good things in her life. I fucking love Katniss okay.

4. Jaehee Kang, Mystic Messenger - Yeah I kind of feel like trash for having a character from a god damn dating sim on here but tbh Mystic Messenger is so good it makes me angry (you are a dating sim what business do you have being that good fuck you) so I don’t feel too much like trash. Only a little bit like trash. Anyway, Jaehee. Holy god where do I even start. She is just so beautiful. That’s the first word that comes to mind, and I’m not even talking about her appearance (although yeah she’s definitely very attractive). It’s just her, man. She is so kind, so patient, so hard-working, so strong after everything she’s been through. I love that even though outwardly she’s more serious and formal than most of the other characters, there’s this underlying sweetness and quirkiness that shines through, like when she fangirls over Zen or when she says things like “benefits were effing amazing” when explaining to her boss why hosting fundraising parties is a good idea. I also love that as kind and polite as she is, she can and will mercilessly drag people she’s a fucking savage and I love her. I just love her so much. Jaehee is effing amazing.

3. Asami Sato, Legend of Korra - First of all, she’s canonically a bisexual woman in a relationship with another bisexual woman and that’s super important to me for representation. Second of all, even before Korrasami was made canon I really adored Asami. Because seriously, Asami is one of the kindest and most loyal characters in anything ever, she is such a good person through and through, even though there are so many things that have happened to her that sound like the sort of things that would motivate most characters to be villains. Her mother was murdered, her father was a terrorist who betrayed her and threatened to kill her friends, her boyfriend cheats on her, her closest friend and love interest leaves her for three years, her father fucking dies in front of her after they had just barely started to reconcile. Asami faces so much tragedy, if anyone has a right to be an asshole it would be her, yet she is still so unfailingly kind and brave and good. Also, for the record, she is probably the prettiest animated character I have ever seen in my life.

2. Agent Texas, Red vs Blue - Okay so. Red vs Blue has a lot of… issues with how it writes the few female characters it has, and I’m not going to act like Tex is this amazingly well written female character because she’s really not. But this isn’t my top 10 well-written female characters this is my top 10 favorite female characters, and whatever writing problems RvB may have, I really do love Tex. So much. It’s also a bit complicated to love Tex cause it’s like… which one lmao. I love Beta!Tex, who was tough and snarky and effortlessly bad ass, but also kind and compassionate and very, very chill. Like sure she could kick your ass and you know she could, but eh, she doesn’t really need to. The fact that you know she could is enough. And then there’s Epsilon!Tex, who was just angry, but who in many ways was the most important iteration of Tex to me. She was angry because ffs she was tired of not being her own person. She was tired of Church seeing her as His Girlfriend and not much else, she was tired of being Allison’s shadow, tired of her existence being all about other people, never about herself. Tex’s story is ultimately about a search for agency, to create an identity for herself separate from what other people want from her, and that’s always stuck with me.

1. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter - Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m putting her here because she is genuinely my favorite female character, or I’m putting her here because I can’t imagine putting anyone else here. Though I guess if I can’t imagine putting someone else here, that’s a sign that she is my favorite? Idk. I like Harry Potter less than I once did, less than I think a lot of people in my life realize, but being a Harry Potter Fan is such a big part of my identity to them that I don’t think they can see me any other way. But, even with my enthusiasm for HP these days being relatively low, I can’t deny that the series had a huge impact on me growing up and it definitely did a lot to shape the type of person I am, and it’s always going to be a bit special because of that. Hermione played a big part. She was one of the first female characters I can remember really admiring. I was nothing like her but I wanted to be, because she was smart and bad ass and complex and honestly do I even need to explain why Hermione is amazing? You all know. However I feel about HP now, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the impact it had on me and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget Hermione.

#thank you so much for sending this ask btw #i had so much fun thinking about this #and writing it #ask #laggage #female characters