#not quite as bad anymore as long as I’m eating right) I usually feel like I can’t get enough air when it’s hot and humid out

[jarofstyles]

Sugar, Sugar 13

Hey… sorry it’s been so long angels 😭 here you go!! I hope you missed them as much as I did.

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WC- 3.1k

warnings- mentions of disordered eating and bad relationship with food, body issues, fad diet mention, bad relationship with a parent, body shaming, etc

--------

“So, spill. How was it?” Delilah asked as she eyed Y/N. 

“How was what?” Playing coy behind the counter, she did the initial cash wrap check as she avoided her best friend’s eyes. She knew exactly what she was talking about. 

“Getting railed half to death.” She deadpanned, making Y/N choke on her laughter. “Don’t play games with me, girl. I can see your literal glow.” She paused, her eyes moving south. “And your man has a nasty habit of biting you.” He did. Y/N knew exactly where the hickey was on her collarbone, but her wrap she had on over her lacy tank top usually hid it. She was just careless this morning and didn’t think about it being on display. 

“He is quite bad with that, isn’t he?” She snorted, turning to her friend with giddy light in her eyes. “Great. Better than I expected. Made me really comfortable and I spent the whole night and day.. Y’know.” Her face felt hot as she placed the cash into the register before starting up the POS and making sure everything would be right for when the day ended. “I was worried for nothing. The man is kinda unreal, if I’m being honest. I was taken care of in every way. I shouldn’t be surprised considering he’s been really good to me so far.” Brushing her hair over her shoulder, the drawer was closed and she took note of her green tea, picking it up for a sip now that it wouldn’t burn her tongue. 

“It’s what you deserve.” Her friend smiled softly. “You deserve a great love like you read about in your books. Besides, I know you’re going to get it. It’s written in the stars.” She was joking, but also… not really. Delilah knew things without knowing how she knew them, and it was almost always true. “Where is he today? Are we expecting a drop in from him?”

“Actually, I don’t know.” Y/N hummed. He hadn’t replied after his initial good morning message but she wasn’t too worried about it. “He said something about stopping by the bakery. He had today off to go run errands so he’ll be dropping things off but I know I’m seeing him tomorrow. We’re going to that new pizza place.” She was excited about that. There was a flatbread she was looking forward to trying, and Harry had suggested getting two different things and splitting it. It was nice to feel comfortable eating with someone. That was one of the anxiety triggers she had to unlearn as she got older. 

“I think we’re going to get a drop in.” Taking one of the baskets they used for restocks, she went towards the tumble table and began to deposit the little baggies of colorful stones and minerals into the correct cubbies. “Have you brought up that Claire woman yet?”

Y/N hadn’t, very well for a reason. She didn’t like the feeling it gave her stomach. Somehow, she was well aware she and Harry had been involved. Somehow, someway. It didn’t seem strong, as she obviously couldn’t be that close to him anymore if she’s unable to contact him but… It still wasn’t a good feeling. The woman wasn’t nice, her energy was rancid and muddy, and she obviously looked down on them for believing in their own thing. That was the exact person she tried to avoid. Y/N knew it was perhaps rude to judge solely off of one interaction, but something told her Harry wouldn’t be happy to hear about her coming in. 

“Not yet.” She said sheepishly, spooning a bit of yogurt into her mouth. “I know, you don’t have to give me the eyebrow. I’m just… You know how it is. When you know it’s going to cause an issue.” Y/N didn’t think it would be with her but the idea of upsetting Harry at all wasn’t something she enjoyed. Being so new in the relationship, she wanted that honeymoon stage. It had been so lovely this far, she selfishly wanted to avoid the past and the real world from inserting themselves in her rose colored daydream with her dreamy new boyfriend. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t how life worked. 

“Putting it off isn’t doing either of you any favors, Cher.” She gave her another look, hanging up a necklace back on the display. “I trust you to handle it on your own time, but do it soon. I have a feeling she isn’t done sniffing around yet.”

—--

“Hey.” A wide smile greeted her as she heard the chime of the bells on the door, seeing the man that had been on her mind. High waisted black pants with a flare at the bottom and a yellow tee shirt, he walked in with his boots clicking on the hardwood floor. Lifting his sunglasses off his face into his fluffy hair, he extended his arms to motion for her to walk into them. She did so without a question. How could she not? 

Falling into his warm scent, she nuzzled her face into his neck and allowed herself to be engulfed in him. Something about them felt closer now. More intimate. Maybe she was making it up but a layer had been shed and he felt even more close to her soul. Lips pecked a few times into her hair, swaying her back and forth as her fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck, a relieved sigh leaving the man. “Y’alright, Sugar?”

“Mhm.” She nodded against him. “Tired. Spilled my coffee a quarter through but it’s been a bit busy today so we haven’t had the chance to get away. You win some, you lose some.” She’d rather be a little tired and making money, giving readings, all of that. 

“Should have texted me.” His tongue clicked, finally getting a good look at her as she pulled out of his neck. Didn’t she realize he’d do almost anything for her? “Would have brought you some over, sweets. What good is having a boyfriend if you’re not gonna use me?” He was joking, but not really. He knew that he’d bend over backwards for the girl in his arms. 

“In all honesty, I didn’t even think about it. I knew you were busy today running errands and we had a lot of walk in readings, I’ve been a little busy.” Her fingers ran through his hair again, liking how it felt between them. He always melted like a pup getting pets when she did it too, so it was a win win. “Did you get everything done that you needed?”

“I did.” He moved on swiftly. “Are you sayin’ you didn’t eat?” His brow raised, making her wince. Sometimes she forgot, but it wasn’t on purpose. It was genuine distraction. “Baby…” 

“I had a yogurt and granola bar. I was planning on making some food when I got home, but I was busy. Promise.” She tried her luck at a pout which luckily seemed to break down the glare. 

“Too bad.” He sighed. “M’gonna run and get you both food. I don’t like this, Sugar.” Large hands cupped her face, making her feel more delicate than she ever had been. Sometimes it felt hard to lean into that femininity of delicacy when she’d been treated as the opposite most of her life, but Harry had her falling into it so easily. “I know you’re a big girl and you can handle yourself, but it’s okay to ask me for help. I want to help you, I want to be a good boyfriend and grab your things when you’re busy. I know you’d do the same for me.” She already had. The girl had given him a whole welcome basket when he opened his own business, for fucks sake. 

“I know. It’s…” Feeling slightly guilty now, she rested her hands on his wrists. “It’s a hard habit to break. I’ve been independent for years now and I don’t like to rely on people.” It was always thrown back in her face. “I’ll try harder, H. Promise.” Turning her head, she caught his palm with her lips and pressed kisses to it. That move melted him completely, leaning down to kiss her lips a few times before peeling himself away. 

“Good girl. I’ll be back in a bit. Be good for me.”

Y/N hated to see him go, but she loved to watch him leave. Still buzzing from the affection, she jumped as Delilah came out of the back room fanning herself. 

“That man is completely gone for you. Lord…” She shook her head. “What a guy. I’m glad he wants to take care of you, Cher. You deserve it.” Her hand squeezed her shoulder as she slipped past her. 

“It has nothing to do with the fact he’s getting you lunch too?” She snickered, watching her friend shrug. 

“That definitely helps.”

—--

Y/N’s good mood was squashed just 10 minutes later when a familiar face walked through the shop doors, nose wrinkling at the scent of the incense. 

God, why now? 

“Y/N, I’ve told you that these smoky scents are going to drive away customers.”

Yeah, that was the point. Drive away customers with impure intentions. 

“Hi, Mother.” Y/N sighed, feeling her shoulders tighten as she watched the woman come closer into the shop. Her tumultuous relationship with her mother had a lot to do with the fact that Y/N reminded her of her own. They’d been extremely close, sharing their love of the spiritual world, of magic, all the things while her mom had rejected it. Y/N had been easier to bond with for her grandmother and she knew she held resentment over it for years. 

She wasn’t an awful person, was the thing. She liked to support her at school, took her shopping for makeup, taught her how to do her hair and tie her shoes. She held her when she was sick, stuck up for her when she got bullied- but she didn’t realize she herself was her daughter’s first and biggest bully. 

“Hello. It’s been weeks since you’ve visited me or your father.” She sent her a look. “Are you well? Do you need money? I know the shop is a bit of a hard venture to keep up…” 

There it was. Her mother had always hated this shop. Hated what it stood for, what it represented. Y/N never faulted or judged someone for not believing or being connected in the things she was. It was a calling, she truly believed, whether natural or brought on by a life event. But her mother thought it to be a bit of a waste of time. Always expecting her downfall, though she didn’t think she was cruel enough to hope for it. 

“No, we’re actually doing incredibly well.” It was the truth. They were making bigger profits than the years before and she was more than glad about that. They’d paid off the loan they took out and now they were working towards a possible expansion. But her mom didn’t want to hear about that. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve been a bit busy.” 

Her mom gave her a scrutinizing eye, unsure if she believed her. Y/N wasn’t usually a busy person, despite the shop. She liked a slower lifestyle and she knew that, which is why she understood the look on her face. “Have you gone back to the gym like I asked? I haven’t seen you there. I can go with you, you know. I think you’d love my trainer. He’s very dedicated.”

There it was again. Y/N felt her stomach drop, though she should have expected it. Her mother was obsessed with her weight. She’d been the one to try and get her on diets at an early age, effectively ruining her relationship with food. While she knew her mother was someone who cared about her, sometimes she cared about the wrong things a bit too much. Once Y/N had made peace with the fact that she’d always be a bigger girl, her mother had pushed back at it causing more of a rift. She wasn’t going along with her plans and fad diets anymore, and it felt like a personal insult. 

“No, no. I’ve been busy with something else, actually.” With Harry. The pretty, driven, thoughtful man that had her tummy in knots and her head in the clouds. 

“Well, what? I’ve sent you dozens of recipes. I doubt you’ve tried them though. It looks like you’ve put on a bit of weight in the last few weeks. I thought you were making progress.” Her frown made Y/N’s stomach hurt. She’d resigned herself into knowing she would probably never get her mother’s approval on her body, but the reminders didn’t do much to make her feel good. Accepting it didn’t mean liking it. 

“I may have. I’ve been fine, though.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I’ll come by for dinner next week, I promise. I just-”

The door chimed again, interrupting them both. Her stomach dropped as she saw Harry’s smiling face, something that usually would make her erupt into butterflies- but this wasn’t the introduction she wanted to make. Not quite yet. 

“I’m back, sorry. There was a line.” He murmured, going behind the desk and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her body flushed as she looked towards her mother, her eyes wide as Harry adjusted her hair for her before setting the food bag and coffee tray on the counter. “Sorry, I’ll step out of the way if you’re helping someone.”

“Who’s this?” Her mother’s interest was immediately evident. 

“I’m Harry, Y/N’s boyfriend. Nice t’meet you. What’s your name?” He asked, placing a hand on his girlfriend’s back. 

“H, this is my mother.” Y/N swallowed, looking between the two of them. She could see his eyes widen, reaching a hand out for her to shake. He was always so polite, so charming, but she couldn’t help but see the look on her mom’s face. 

“You’re her boyfriend?” She asked, brows raised. Her voice sounded in disbelief, looking between the two of them as if something didn’t add up. “I didn’t know she even had a boyfriend.” 

Thankfully she’d let him know she hadn’t exactly told her yet so he didn’t seem shocked about that, but the meeting was a little unorthodox. 

His brows did furrow at her tone and she could tell he didn’t like it. But for her sake he kept a smile on his face, shaking the woman’s hand lightly. “Yes, I am. M’quite gone for her. You raised an incredible woman, Ma’am.” He spoke earnestly. 

“Excuse my shock, I just didn’t realize….” She trailed off, still seeming confused. “Y/N does like her secrets, it seems. You’re very handsome. What do you do?” It was likeher mother to be nosy, sniffing out why exactly the man was around her daughter. Y/N could see that she was suspicious and it hurt her because she knew exactly why she was. 

She was making sure he wasn’t using her for another reason. For money or something else, because it was hard for her to believe a man as attractive as him would be with her for pure attraction and chemistry. 

“I actually own the bakery across the street.” He said easily. “Thank you for the compliment. She’s an incredible woman, so welcoming and kind. Beautiful to boot.” He meant every word, tapping the tip of her nose. “I don’t want to interrupt, though… I brought the girls lunch.” 

“Oh, it’s not trouble. I was coming because my daughter forgets she has a phone.” She shot her a look. “Why don’t you come to dinner next week with her? You’re more than welcome. Her father would be more than happy to meet you.” 

“If it’s alright with Y/N, I will.” He nodded, showing his loyalty immediately. Harry wouldn’t do anything that made his girl uncomfortable and he was dedicated to the cause. He was already unsure about the woman, but the next words solidified it for him. 

“Alright, whatever you decide. Just make sure she doesn’t have too many sweets from your bakery, hm? It’s starting to show again.” She was joking as if it was funny, patting her daughter’s hand before stepping back. “I hope to see you next week, Harry. Call me, Y/N, we have much to discuss.” 

Her mother was swift, walking out the door as quickly as she had come in. As soon as she was gone, the energy calmed and her shoulders fell, groaning low in her throat as she moved to hide her face in Harry’s chest again. He knew better than to talk, instead stroking over her hair as he let her recover from that interaction. 

Internally though, his view on her mother was soured. How dare she make a comment to not only her daughter about that, but to him? A man she was dating and obviously really liked her? Did she not realize how awful it was to comment on something like that? Y/N had told him that her relationship with her mother had been a weird one but he hadn’t expected her to say something cruel like that. It didn’t even seem to register that she was being mean, she genuinely seemed to think it was funny. 

“I’m sorry about that.” She sighed, pulling back from his chest. “She’s… she’s a lot. I promise she isn’t all bad, but she’s got quirks.” Her face pulled in a slight grimace, making him smile sadly at her as he caressed her warm cheek. 

“That wasn’t nice to say, but I have a feeling it isn’t something you want t’unpack in the middle of a work day.” It wasn’t something he felt could be properly discussed out here anyways. “We can talk about it tomorrow, if you want…but I just have to say this one thing.” His head dipped to get closer to hers. “I don’t mind if you gain or lose weight. I don’t care about that at all so long as you’re healthy and comfortable. I’ll never restrict you from eating, never make you feel as though you’re too much. I know you struggle with it, but I’m never going to contribute to that. I’m here to support you.” 

His words were genuine, eyes shining as he told her his truth. She could feel it radiating off of him and it made her want to tear up, but he didn’t give her a chance to reply to that before he smacked a kiss to her nose and pulled back to open the paper bag that had been stapled shut. “But now I want you to tell me if I did a good job choosing your meal, please. I did the caramel coffee with oat milk, iced. I remembered that bit.” 

Y/N wasn’t sure where the hell Harry had come from, but she was thankful for whoever had sent him. It seemed like she needed him now more than ever.

#jarofstyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry writing #harry styles imagine #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #sugar sugar #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles plus size #plus size fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry smut #Harry fluff #harry angst

[unclewaynemunson]

Wingman Wayne AU pt6 yaaay! | AO3 link

The next time Eddie sees Steve, he knows immediately that the thoughts that kept plaguing him late at night weren't induced by some weird chemical unbalance in his brain caused by eating too much cheese or taking one pill too many. No, those thoughts were very, very real. Because Steve is looking absolutely breathtaking in his stupid tight jeans and stupid green polo and with his stupid wild hair that Eddie just wants to run his fingers through and those goddamn stupid pink lips. Shit.

'Lookin' hot today, big boy,' Eddie blurts out before he can help himself.

A frown appears between Steve's stupidly perfect eyebrows. 'Don't do that, man,' he says, avoiding Eddie's gaze.

'What?' Eddie asks, as if he doesn't know exactly what Steve means: Don't mess up our Very Platonic friendship by getting feelings for me. That wasn't what we agreed upon. Well, it's already too late for that anyway. And honestly, whose fault is that? Exactly, it's the fault of Steve's stupid lips.

'You know what I mean,' Steve says. He's still not quite looking Eddie in the eyes and Eddie feels guilty immediately.

'Sorry,' he says. 'Won't happen again, friend.'

It's only awkward for a minute, until they're both sitting on the couch in the Munsons’ trailer and Eddie easily launches into a whole monologue giving Steve the latest gossip on Wayne's colleague Jimmy because he ran into Jimmy's wife at Melvald's, and he immediately gets reminded why it's so nice to have a queer friend, because, in contrast to Jeff or Gareth or even Wayne, Steve understands exactly what he means when he says “straight people” in a lamenting voice and doesn't get confused when he goes into a minutes-long rant about “straight culture.”

'Dude, stop, you're doing it again,' Steve suddenly interrupts him at some point.

Eddie stops mid-monologue to give Steve a confused stare. 'What?'

Steve nods towards the place where Eddie's hand is comfortably resting onto Steve's knee, fingers stretched all the way into his thigh. Like it belongs there, somehow. Like it’s something natural.

Eddie clears his throat as he pulls his hand away and crosses his arms to keep himself from unconsciously reaching out for Steve again. Is it really that bad to have me touch you? he wants to ask – but he doesn't, because he isn't a completely terrible friend.

'My sincerest apologies, comrade,' he says instead, before he picks up where he left off in his story, trying to act like nothing happened. But Steve doesn't really seem to listen anymore; his gaze keeps wandering away and he barely even shows any investment in the gossip that he usually loves so much.

'You okay, Stevie?' Eddie asks.

A blush starts creeping over Steve's cheeks.

'I don't know how to tell you this without making shit even more awkward,' he says, 'but you staring at my lips for like ten minutes on end is also part of the things you shouldn't be doing.'

Fuck. Eddie is pretty sure that his own cheeks are rapidly starting to reach a shade of red that matches Steve's. He wants to apologize, but somehow, the words get all mushed into something else while they make their way from his throat to his lips, and what comes out is, 'Is it really bothering you that much?'

Steve stares at his hands. 'Yes,' he says softly. 'Yes, it is.' He looks up at Eddie again, and there's a look in his eyes that Eddie doesn't quite recognize.

'Eddie – you were the one who insisted right from the start that nothing about me would attract you, remember?' he says. 'You were the one who proposed to be friends. And I was fine with that, because I wanted to be your friend, and I thought I could keep my feelings under control. So please don't make this any harder for me than it needs to be.'

Eddie's heart is suddenly beating in his throat, his hands sweaty.

'Jesus, Steve,' he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. 'I'm so sorry.' He stretches out his hand, gently letting it land on Steve's shoulder – but Steve immediately gets up from the couch, as if Eddie's touch is burning him.

'Don't,' he says, his voice suddenly cold with frustration. He starts pacing back and forth through the tiny living room. 'Now you're just being cruel.'

Shit. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. The memory of Wayne's soft voice echoes through his head: Can't you just... talk to him?

Of course Wayne was right, he always is. Eddie should know that by now. It's terrifying, the thought of actually talking to Steve - but Eddie knows that he's the only one to blame for this mess, so it’s only fair that he should also be the one to fix it.

'What if I told you I was wrong?' he blurts out before he can change his mind like the coward he is.

Steve freezes in his tracks, finally looks Eddie in his eyes again.

'What if I told you I've been a fucking idiot all this time?' Eddie continues, his heart beating at a nauseating pace now. 'What if I told you I was – I was expecting another Chad, back when my uncle told me about you, and I really didn't want to repeat that same shit again – and you've been continuously blowing my goddamned mind ever since we met. I really, really wasn't planning on falling in love, but Steve, you're fucking fascinating, and with every little bit I got to know you better, I started falling a little bit harder.'

Steve finally takes his place next to Eddie on the couch again, looking at him wide-eyed, lost for words.

'You're the most interesting person I've ever met,' Eddie continues, because he simply has to say it all now, 'and you have such a big heart, and – and I haven't been able to stop thinking about your lips for days – and I really didn't mean to hurt you. I should've given you a fair chance right away and I'm so sorry and –'

Steve suddenly launches himself at Eddie and shuts him up by clashing their mouths together slightly too forcefully, breathing into their kiss and only slowing himself down when he realizes that Eddie isn't going to pull away, that Eddie isn't going anywhere – and Eddie tangles his fingers into Steve's majestic hair as he finally gets a taste of that fucking addictive strawberry lipgloss. It’s exactly as sweet and soft and perfect as he imagined it would be and it might just have become his new favorite taste in the world.

'Jesus H Christ,' Eddie mumbles when they finally break apart, both panting and chuckling shakily. 'Uncle Wayne's gonna be so fucking annoying about this.'

Pt7

Can I just say that all your “look eddie it’s the consequences of your own actions!” comments on the previous part had me giggling kicking my feet?? U r all so right but also eddie is a complete idiot no i won’t take criticism. I am LIVING for all those sweet and funny comments / tags, it means the world and I am cradling them all in my hands <333

(Also everyone saying they feel like a burden asking to be added to the taglist, noooo!! It only takes me a couple secs and it honestly makes me crazy happy that so many of you are invested enough to want updates! I am hugging all of you!!)

Taglist: @phantypurple @love-kurdt @eddiemunsonswife @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @swimmingbirdrunningrock @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @yourebuckingkiddingme @th3-r4t-k1ng @messrs-weasley @moonshadows-13 @im-sam-fucking-winchester @xjessicafaithx @yournowheregirl @henderdads @lwhoscribbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @rainydays35  @cassaloopa @skeliiix @thesuninyaface @silversnaffles @jestyzesty @4nemo1egend @ace-of-foxes @harringtonsgother @thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @thereindeerlady @jillfriend @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @gamerdano @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @00biscuit @mixsethaddams @steve-the-hairrington @episcogoth @caligularib @gaydrieeen @winterbuckwild @bookbinderbitch @daysarestranger @nonbinary-eddie-munson @fangirltofangod @solalasoforth @obsessivlyme @slit-wrist @fxndom-hoe @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @joruni @roastingdragon @lenore1232 @princessstevemunson @cuips-not-cute @munsonsuccubus @justalittlefungi @cherrycolas-things @nitrilexam @thepainisspicy @hopefulslothcollecter @whatisreggieshortfor @doctorqueensanatomy @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sadcanadianwinter @iamsotiredman @orangeandthefairroadkill @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @b-icetea @freddykicksasses @faery-god @poleaxed-aloe @mamaclownhunter @paperbackribs @blvckwidow @mightbeasleep @butuglypeoplefucktoo @lolawon @angryavocadofrog @iwouldsail @livelaughlexa @magpiemuseum @shushuac  @ravnlinn @homohomohoe @kissaphobic-kas @cmackz93 @your-greatest-queen @alltheweirdkidsinoneplace @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @ceaselessly-watching @anaibis @enchantedlandcoffee @fluffy-alpaca-of-darkness @nelotegreitic @mollymawkwrites @evix-syne666 @redfreckledwolf @ajamlessbaby @connected-dots @nothisisntmyname @steddieassheg0es @anxiouseds @summer1066 @loopholesinmydreams @mareydi  @lillemilly @this-is-moony-lovegood @qomrades @mad-h-w @gay-stranger-things @blanketlicker @fandomcartographer @adankrivervalleynearyou @undreamingscatworld @theysherobinbuckley @i-wanna-combust @stranger-poets-society  @fanshipgirl88 @nonhetbts @literallyjustarat @knitsforthetrail @limpingpenguin @spoopy-rayvynnnox @impeachy @ashwinmeird @7boxesofcheerios @nonsense-of-dimitri @azreadytodie @fuctacles @fuzzyduxk @pluto-pepsi @bornonthesavage @what-am-i-doing-with-my-non-life @alanna342 @jinxjinn @ali-just-ali @piningapple @captain-daryn @namelessssho @doltclassic @elsarenard @ramyayaya @my-heart-is-stopped @lightwoodbanethings @goblin-eddie @indie-npc

#only one part left my friends #don't mind me rambling about stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #fruity ficlet

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

last christmas, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Last Christmas, she gave you her heart, wrapped up with a note saying, I love you. She meant it. This Christmas, you give her back the stuff she left at your place and run into her next-door neighbor that knew all about your love. Somehow, you end up explaining why it went wrong.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of previous w/w relationship; pansexual reader; mentions of bad parents and discrimination / prejudice; reader def needs a therapist and Jeon Jungkook is not a therapist; JK is also reader's ex-gf's next-door neighbor; pining; awk tension; I cannot shut up about JK's big peepers; smut (fem reader, a lot of making out [both lips and bodies], light scratching, so much grinding, cowgirl); motorcycle-owning!JK takes you on a ride, whee

inspired by Wham!'s 'Last Christmas'; you are the shitty ex, don't read this unless you're okay with that and, yes, some decisions are made

--

You handed the bag over.

“This is it.”

“T… Thanks.”

The cold stung your cheeks. Around your neck was a dark green and black plaid scarf, thick layers shielding your heart that was exposed to the winter thanks to your open parka. Your hands returned to their tucked position in your fleece-lined pockets. You smiled, ever so slightly.

“You look pretty. The short hair suits your face well.”

She reached up to touch the tips of the chin-length bob, wispy front bangs framing her gentle eyes, not quite looking at you. You noticed her short nails were painted a light shimmery gold, suiting the holiday season. Her lips pursed and she breathed in deeply, looking straight into your eyes.

“Don’t say stuff like that. We’re not together anymore,” she said decisively.

“Ah… right.”

You left the smile on your face.

Right, because you could no longer compliment a person after dating them and then breaking up with them. Rules of some code apparently you didn’t get the memo for. The breeze whipped around your body, chilling moments as you stood at the doorstep of your former lover, feeling a strange kind of satisfaction seeing in her shiver in her fuzzy cream sweater and fleece pajama pants, complete with ivory fur slippers. But those thoughts were cruel to think and so was the bitterness.

She glanced at you.

You felt bad, seeing the glisten in her eyes.

In a box labelled donations in your apartment, there was a knit scarf, checkered peach and cream, the note included long gone, probably in a trashcan. Last Christmas, that scarf had been in silvery wrapping paper with a white silk ribbon, the package shaking in her hands and accompanied by a nervous smile, handed over for you to open, seeing the note first and then the handmade gift.

I love you above the handiwork of love.

It wasn’t the very next day, but you were still giving it away.

“I hope you have a nice holiday,” you said, bowing lightly.

“A-Ah, yeah,” she stuttered, clutching the brown bag of the few sweaters and joggers she had left at your apartment, all laundered and folded neatly the way she usually folded them. You had remembered, and this would be the last time you needed to remember how to delicately tuck sweaters into themselves like cake rolls. “I’m going to see my mom and dad. You should…” And she trailed off, knowing full well you weren’t going to see your parents. “You should eat something nice.”

You nodded.

Smile.

“I will. Take care.”

You took a step back and bowed again, taking your graceful exit from the front porch of that apartment that you would never walk into again.

You headed for the stairs, being careful when it came to the snow-slicked stone steps. Good thing your black boots had sturdy, thick treads. You reached back and pulled the hood of your parka up, fleece blanketing your head and ears, instantly warming your cold hair. It was already getting dark. You barely saw the sun these days, with work and all. There was something nice about the winter evening though, not as thick as the humid summer nights. Crisp and chilly, sure, but maybe you could argue that was all you were anyway.

Shit, holding a pity party for yourself? That’s rich.

The voice was inner self-loathing was nice and loud tonight, huh.

You heard your name being called from the garage at the bottom of the stairs. You looked up to see a familiar resident of these apartments.

Your ex-girlfriend’s next-door neighbor, in fact.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

He smiled and waved, jogging over, something large and round under his arm. Black leather jacket, his gloves matching his jacket. Black jeans. Heavy-duty boots. You took a couple steps towards him, and then you spied the parked motorcycle, and finally recognizing that it was a motorcycle helmet he was holding. The sweater underneath with the somewhat tacky, bright red-and-white candy cane print didn’t quite match the rest of his ensemble.

He looked down when he realized you were staring at his chest and laughed. “Ah, yeah, I came back from a work party. Christmas lunch before we go on break. Theme was ugly sweaters.”

You blinked. “You could have tried harder.”

He grinned. “Yeah, my co-worker Jimin said that too, but I told him he was ugly enough for us both.”

You shook your head with a sheepish smile as the young man looked way too proud of himself burning someone who wasn’t even here to defend themselves. Well, supposedly he burned them publicly already. Poor Jimin. You had never met this Park Jimin Jungkook occasionally talked about, but they seemed to have a brotherly friendship, complete with Jungkook providing shithead younger brother quips.

“I haven’t seen you around lately,” Jungkook said, tilting his head.

Oh. Right.

You pointed up and prepared yourself to say it again and again until everyone knew.

“We broke up.”

“Oh…” His expression fell, big round brown eyes and the downturn of his lips. Man, Jeon Jungkook looking sad was not something you realized you needed to brace yourself for until now. It almost made you sad seeing his expression. “I’m sorry to hear that. I liked watching movies with you two, since you like Marvel stuff.”

You chuckled. “I’m not banned from going to the theater. I can still go to opening nights with you, if you want.”

He scratched his cheek, nodding slowly. “She wouldn’t feel weird seeing you with me?” he asked.

Oh.

Right.

If it was only you and Jeon Jungkook going to the movies, then, of course, people would think certain things.

You answered him honestly.

“I don’t know.”

You didn’t need to give answers, but Jungkook was your ex’s next-door neighbor and you had made friends with the guy before she did. Would be odd, considering she had proximity on her side, but, as it turns out, she was the lesbian and you were the pansexual. She had other priorities than the man living next door. He was not that interesting to her.

You shrugged. “I don’t know how she would feel, but what’s done is done and life goes on.”

Jungkook blinked at you.

You puffed out your left cheek and then exhaled heavily. “As you can expect from my reaction, it was me who broke up with her.” You clicked your tongue. “It wasn’t her. It was me. I have issues when women try to take care of me, even if they only have good intentions.” You reached up and pushed your parka hood back, letting the cold wind pierce your skin again, eager to feel something else. “Doesn’t really happen to me when it’s men, but women? Hah... I tried to tell myself that that wasn’t it, but facts are facts. In the end, I didn’t like her anymore and it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me.”

Sounded awful coming out of your mouth.

Truth was ugly.

“I thought I would feel like shit not being with her during Christmas, but actually I feel worse because I’m actually glad I’m out.”

You glanced at Jungkook, whose was staring at you with those big brown eyes. For his part, he simply accepted when you introduced his neighbor as your girlfriend back then. Didn’t pry much. It had come up in conversation about representation in movies, and you both clarified your sexualities. Jungkook’s reaction was, oh, cool. But, of course, you hadn’t specified about the differences of various romantic relationships for you personally, until now.

You winced. “Sorry. Kinda dumped all that on you.”

He shook his head quickly, his long black hair flying about like floppy puppy ears. “No, no. It’s okay. Have you talked to anyone about the breakup?” He held up his free hand, pulling it back a little. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. It’s just… I mean, I knew you two a little bit, so… I can listen, if you wanna say stuff.”

You opened your mouth, ready to say, yeah, I’ve talked about it, but then you realized, no, you haven’t talked to anyone about the breakup. You didn’t really have friends outside of the ones related to your previous relationship, and, well, he was standing right here. You certainly weren’t going to tell your parents about dating, least of all dating outside of the heteronormative. They already didn’t like you for various reasons and being anything but heterosexual was probably going to lead to full-on pitchforks and chasing. Not your idea of a fun Christmas, you had to admit.

Mostly because you were the one that had to do the outrunning.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his head, screwing up his face. “Uh, well, a friend much smarter than me told me once that good and bad is relative to who you’re talking to and that most of the time no one is good or bad because there are too many ways to judge.” As he spoke, his eyebrows became more knitted together in increasing confusion of unsure recollection. “Um. Something like that.”

You half-smiled. “Hm, ever considered becoming a therapist?”

Jungkook frowned, looking displeased. “Sounds complicated.”

You laughed. “Don’t worry. You would totally suck at it.”

He harrumphed. “Anyway,” he concluded gruffly, chopping the air, his Busan accent coming out with the flourishment. “I’m saying you don’t have to be sad or feel anything in particular.”

You nodded.

Awkward silence.

Jungkook suddenly perked up and pointed to his bike behind him. “Oh! Did I tell you? I got my motorcycle license over a month ago.”

No, he didn’t tell you, because at the point you had already broken up with your now-ex and stopped coming to this apartment complex. But you glossed over that detail and shook you head, cocking your chin to the metal monster. “Yours?”

He grinned, bouncing like the Energizer bunny. “Yup! Mine! I bought it as soon as I got my license. I always wanted one. Want a ride? I have an extra helmet upstairs.” He pointed up excitedly. “It’ll only take me a second to grab it.”

He knew you didn’t drive here and usually walked here from the train station because it was easier. You looked at the silver and black motorcycle and then back at him, seeing the bubbling eagerness and childlike joy in those sparkly big peepers. What the hell.

“Sure.”

He grinned.

You always liked Jungkook because he had such an expressive face.

He hurried past you and reached out to nudge your arm towards to the stairs. You stood steadfast, your head following his face as you saw his changing expression.

Time slowed.

So did Jungkook, stopping, standing beside you, his motorcycle helmet and arm in between your bodies.

You looked up at him.

Eyes connected.

Your hands lifted and you took his motorcycle helmet from him, ticking your head upstairs.

“I shouldn’t go back up there,” you softly said.

For a moment, he didn’t understand. You knew what he intended, you to follow him up to help carry the extra helmet so he had a hand free to lock the door again. But he hadn’t quite thought about why you were here in the first place, days away from Christmas, after months of not seeing you, and now the comprehension was creeping into his eyes, the wheels of his brain moving in real time right in front of you. You nodded slowly as his lips formed a small ‘o’ accompanied by quick, sharp nods as he bounded up the stone steps two at a time.

“I’ll be fast!”

“Don’t break a leg,” you scolded, rolling your eyes as he completely ignored you, but he held onto the railing, so at least he wouldn’t tumble down and squash you if he tripped.

That left you standing there in relative silence, holding Jeon Jungkook’s helmet and staring at his fairly new motorcycle, only a couple floors underneath your ex-girlfriend who you recently gave back all her things that she had left in your home, the only trace of her now being your memories that would fade in time.

You felt a bit weird, not minding too much about it.

Also felt a bit weird realizing in a few minutes you would be holding onto her next-door neighbor’s waist, your chest to his broad back.

I’m an asshole.

You sighed, remembering the apprehension you had felt embarking on this relationship. Maybe you should have listened to it, but, then again, hard to say. No one wants to believe they have issues. Also, she was quite cute and convincing at the time. Unlike in past relationships, she was already secure and didn’t make you feel ashamed about not being strictly lesbian or heterosexual. It made you think that this was right, this was how it should be, and then it started getting a little too serious.

You kept thinking, I’ll get over it.

You did not get over it.

Then you realized what you really meant was, I must get over it to prove that my shitty upbringing didn’t affect me but all I’m doing is pretending that I’m over it when I’m not.

Yeah, well.

You ended up breaking up with a nice, pretty girl that you weren’t really in love with. She had just made you feel secure because she actually accepted your sexuality, which was awesome but not enough.

So, why did you feel like a complete and total jerk, like you wasted her time, as if you weren’t worthy of it?

Don’t know.

You stared at the motorcycle in front of you.

He must feel free when riding it.

“I got the helmet!”

You didn’t even turn around when you heard Jungkook’s announcement. You were too busy transitioning out of your reflections. “Don’t you know motorcycle accidents are much more likely than car accidents?”

Jungkook popped into view, holding out the other helmet in his hands. You exchanged the one you were carrying with his, and he shrugged. “Everybody dies.”

“Morbid.”

“At least I wouldn’t die knowing I never got to ride a motorbike like I wanted to when I was a kid,” he pointed out, revealing a bit of his inked skin under his leather sleeve. “Same reason I got tattoos.”

“Bet your mom loves that.”

“My mom just has to love my personality,” he laughed. “And I got defiance from her, so she’s doomed.”

You shook you head with a smile. Jungkook showed you how to put the helmet on.

“Just stay safe.”

“Don’t you mean drive safe?”

“It’s not just you on the road, dude.”

Suddenly, his hands stopped moving after you put it on. Now you were staring at Jungkook through the opening, about to close the visor, but then those brown orbs found yours. There was a strange intangible ripple between you and him. He tilted his head.

“Why are you talking as if you’re not here about to get on the bike with me?”

Everybody dies.

You pointed to the helmet. It felt heavy and odd. You were unaccustomed to the tightness. It smelled clean though. “I am. Why else would I put this thing on?”

Maybe I’m already dead because I don’t feel bad about what I did.

You wondered if you should feel bad, even though you did the right thing, even though you knew there were no real villains and heroes in this situation, even though you knew you both were only people that chose how to live their lives. How were you supposed to know if you were dragging things on or running away? The only thing you knew was that she deserved someone who really loved her as much as she loved you. It wasn’t her fault you didn’t. You just had to be honest about it.

Right?

Jungkook nodded and stuck on his helmet, fitting it snugly and climbed onto the motorcycle, unlocking it as signaling you to get on behind him.

“Hold onto me here. Set your feet there. Yeah.”

He was warm and solid and present.

He even smelled nice.

You didn’t think about it too much. What was there to think about? Life was complicated. You could spend countless hours analyzing why you made certain decisions, if they were wrong or right and in which eyes that mattered, and then all those thoughts blew away when the mechanical monster underneath you roared to life, loud and vicious and pure power wielded with skillful hands, and you held on tighter to Jungkook, startled by the sound, yet not scared for some reason.

Just fascinated as Jungkook pulled out of his parking spot and zoomed out of the garage, onto the road.

It was fuckin’ cold.

Layers of green-and-black plaid between Jungkook’s back and your sweater, shielding your racing heart, wind and speed and thrill shooting throughout your veins, the winter night flashing past, blurring streetlamps and stoplights, forgetting the cold, your hands tucked inside Jungkook’s jacket, fingers fanning over his waist and ribcage, feeling his muscles under the tacky sweater.

You closed your eyes.

At least I wouldn’t die knowing I never got to ride a motorbike like I wanted to when I was a kid.

You used to think about riding a motorcycle when you were in middle school, although you had been looking at those smaller, zippy Japanese models, not a Harley-Davidson. You always assumed only loud obnoxious Americans rode that kind of stuff.

What?

Movies didn’t help.

Unfair stereotypes aside, it had been only a passing thought for you. One among many rebellious teenage desires. Cringe. That was hard to admit. But apparently for Jungkook it was a dream that he had turned into a reality and, while someone could view it in whatever negative light they wished, you saw it as walking the walk. You could respect that.

You leaned against him.

Felt the cold but there was something hot under layers of green-and-black plaid.

This is what joyride means, huh?

You were slowing down. Opened your eyes and saw Jungkook turning, seeing a parking lot and, across that, a field of white covered in a walkway of colorful lights. Oh. That was right. The park over here had put up this light display called Festival of Lights, where local artists had created wire sculptures covered in Christmas string lights which were displayed along a walkable path.

You went her last year, holding her hand.

You got off and took off your helmet, entranced by the bright twinkling displays, barely making out a gingerbread man doing a handstand.

“Wanna walk?”

You glanced at Jungkook. “What about this? Should I carry it?”

He laughed, waving to the sudden open top-box behind the seat. “Put it in here.”

You handed the helmet to him and watched in fascination. “Oh. I didn’t know there was a space to put stuff.”

He grinned. “Come on, let’s go.”

You following his bouncing jog with a loose stride, closing your fingers into your palm and remembering the feeling of his solid body in your hands only moments before. Furrowed your brows and shook your head, approaching the entrance, seeing a family several meters ahead, tired parents with a couple of loud kids pointing excitedly at a lit-up snowman holding six candy canes like Wolverine claws.

“Have you been here this year yet?”

“Ah, no,” you absentmindedly replied, seeing Santa and his reindeer. Classic, and well-done. “Haven’t had the time.”

“There’s one at the end I think you’ll like,” Jungkook was saying excitedly. “But I think the food vendors went home already. There was a hotteok truck and another one that sold roasted sweet potatoes, mmm, but maybe you can come back some other time.”

“Uh huh.”

You knocked into Jungkook’s back and bounced, vigorously shaking your head. “Ow.”

“Sorry, there’s ice. Careful.”

“Oh.”

You realized Jungkook was looking at you and you let go of his arm, not even realizing you had grabbed it out of instinct so you didn’t trip. A weird moment of muteness. You looked past him to see three chipmunks flashing in red, blue, and green scarves.

You looked up at Jungkook, who had followed your eye line to the three cuties.

“Jungkook.”

“Huh?”

“Why didn’t you ask your neighbor why I wasn’t coming over anymore?”

Those brown eyes looked away from the twinkling artificial stars to your eyes. There was a little bit a guilt. They shifted away and came back and you realized Jungkook didn’t know how to lie but he also wasn’t sure if he was about to be out of line either.

“I… I heard her crying. A lot. And it’s none of my business,” he mumbled, frowning. “My mom told me not to be nosy,” he added under his breath.

You almost snorted. “You told your mom that you were worried about the lesbian couple next door?”

Jungkook squinted at you, annoyed. “No, I told my mom that I was worried that my friend might have broken up, so I asked her if I should do anything. Something nice?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. It seemed weird especially when Black Panther: Wakanda Forever came out, and I was going to ask if you, I mean, you both were going to the midnight release but…”

The kids were yelling in the distance and you didn’t even hear them.

You were just staring at Jungkook and noticing that his ears were turning bright red.

All the adrenaline from the speed and, now, everything slammed on the brakes.

“I didn’t cry.”

He blinked slowly. “What?”

You breathed out, looking around you, at snow and lights and white, and then at Jungkook, wearing all black and that candy-cane sweater, at yourself and your dark monochrome outfit, and then you admitted it again. “I didn’t cry, and I feel kinda shitty for it.”

“Oh.”

You stepped past Jungkook and walked down the carved-out path, following footprints and hard work. He followed and you acknowledged him, looking from one festive decoration to another, admiring the creations and spinning through the inner workings of your mind. “I felt frustrated. I know sexual attraction and romantic relationships are two different things, but I wanted to believe they weren’t. I wanted to believe that enough time had passed and I was okay, but I wasn’t okay and maybe I’ll never be okay, and I don’t know how to feel about that.”

You glanced up.

Jungkook looked confused and thoughtful at the same time. “I think you said before you don’t talk to your parents?”

“Yeah. They’re assholes.”

“Oh.”

That wasn’t very descriptive so you gave a brief explanation. “They looked at me like a product they made. A child was an object that they could program to do things they weren’t able to do, like make lots of money, marry rich, and in general sacrifice all my autotomy for their every beck and call.” You shrugged. “A dog would have more grace than their child.”

“Ouch.”

“Also, they would not understand that I’m pansexual. I think I’d be shot on the spot.”

“Don’t talk to them,” he puffed heatedly.

“Mmm,” you hummed in agreement. “And, yeah, I’m sure that kind of upbringing affected my romantic relationships.” And lots of other things, but that wasn’t the point right now.

“Everybody goes through stuff like that.”

You looked at him.

Jungkook shrugged. “My last girlfriend said all I care about is myself and there’s a reason why all my friends are older than me and called me irresponsible, selfish, and childish.”

“Are you?”

He frowned. “I don’t think so? I do the dishes and always fold my laundry.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Only fold?”

“Okay, sometimes I leave it on the table for a little while,” he grumbled.

You chuckled. “How long ago was this?”

“Um, couple years ago? Maybe five?”

“You were barely an adult,” you commented, seeing a face-down figure with white hair in a bun and something that looked suspiciously like deer tracks on the back of that red coat. Uh. You decided not to comment and move on. “Still learning.”

“Learning to be a dick, she’d probably say now. She would tell me not to get a bike for sure.”

“Thought the whole point she was dating you was because you had a dick.”

Jungkook laughed, loud and vibrant, the lights making his cheeks glow. “Well, she’s married now so I guess she found a better one.”

“Or settled.”

“Damn, you would think you were the one who dated her,” he snickered. You could tell he was enjoying this though, those brown orbs sparkling a little too bright. There was a little bit of a jealous streak in him, you could sense. “I think I was dating the wrong kind of girl though. I think I have to date someone who shares my interests more. I like being with the person I like all the time. I don’t want them to be sick of me.”

“Mmm. I can see that. Pretty childish of you.”

“Hey!”

You laughed, nudging his side. “As long as you know you are the problem.”

He narrowed his eyes.

You grinned. “I didn’t say you weren’t a fun problem to have.”

Jungkook leaned closer, squinting harder.

You grinned wider.

Then you realized he was so close and he realized he was so close, both of you backing up at the same time. A little too fast, simultaneously darting your hands out and grabbing each other’s forearms, you grasping his right with your left hand and his right hand on your left sleeve, squeezing hard, immediately regaining balance.

You let go.

He let go.

Speed under a green-black plaid scarf, something hot and moving fast under all those layers.

“Sorry.”

“Ah, no, my fault. Sorry.”

You jerked your head towards the light displays and started walking again, trying to move past this sudden weirdness. You pointed out the various ones you liked. Yellow pill-shaped Minions decorating a Christmas tree. A curtain of lights programmed to look like falling snowflakes. Penguins sliding down a light-up hill. Slowing down. Breathing. You glanced at Jungkook.

He looked somewhat ashamed.

“Hey.”

He tilted his head, inquiring with his big eyes and pink nose. “Hm?”

“I’m glad you took me here. I don’t think I’ve done anything festive this year.”

“O… Oh.” He looked sheepish, rubbing the back of his head. “I thought it might be cool. Cheer you up a bit.”

“Yeah. It’s funny. A lot of people think I don’t like this season.”

You saw Jungkook rub his nose, realizing it was cold. “Huh? Why?” he asked nasally.

You glanced down at your dark color palette. “Well, you know me, I like Halloween most, but I actually enjoy Christmas quite a lot. Not because I have any particularly nice memories around it,” you mused. “Ah, I mean when I was a kid. But, I don’t know, maybe that made me appreciate the spirit of the holiday time more than all the capitalistic stuff surrounding it, since I didn’t participate much in that.”

Jungkook blinked, puzzled. “You didn’t get gifts?”

You thought about it. “Hmm, not until I was an adult and only when I was dating someone who gave gifts.”

He pursed his lips and then reached out, taking your elbow and pulling your along, to the corner.

“Come on. This can be your gift.”

You stumbled behind him, craning your head in confusion. “Huh?”

“Did you watch Wakanda Forever?”

“Of course, I did. You know Black Panther is my favorite.”

“Then, look.”

Your eyes widened as the bright display of Black Panther, black lights complete with the purple highlights and signature action pose loomed among the other creations, slightly out of place because it wasn’t holiday-themed or even remotely Korean, but apparently none of that mattered and it didn’t matter to you as you admired the craftsmanship of the wire structure underneath, obvious it was specifically Chadwick Boseman’s T’Challa from the violet details.

“Oh, shit. That’s sick,” you breathed, staring at the display for far too long and probably burning it into your eyeballs.

“I knew you’d like it right away.”

“That’s so random that it’s here.”

“I mean it’s not Christmas, but the movie did come out a month ago, so I guess they made an exception ‘cause it was so cool.”

“I mean this feels like Christmas to me. Put a Santa hat on him and call it a day.”

Jungkook laughed. “Okay, I’ll sneak one on in the night.”

You whipped your head to him, wiggling your eyebrows. “I mean…”

“It turns off automatically at midnight to save power…” he trailed off, putting on a scheming face.

“Would you go to jail for that? Is a Santa hat vandalism?”

“I didn’t commit a crime if I don’t get caught,” he countered.

You gave him a look. “Sounds like someone belongs on the naughty list.”

Jungkook scrunched up his face.

“Naughty or nice depends on who’s asking.”

He stuck his little pink tongue out.

You poked the tongue tip sticking out of his lips.

Instant wet warmth on your index finger. Jungkook jumped, startled at your quick action and even you snapped back, surprised at yourself. Why had you done that? A wave of fluster, and you froze, hand hovering in the air, and Jungkook rapidly blinking, cheeks turning bright red. Silence. Couldn’t even say sorry, too stunned at your action to try to double back to apologies. Big brown eyes framed with windswept black locks, something unsaid hanging between you and Jeon Jungkook.

A casual friendship.

Kept at a fixed distance for… reasons.

Well, it had been.

Nobody was stupid, but time and place meant something.

Fast lane, not feeling the cold, racing pulse, lowering your hand, and you could feel it. You knew it was there, but time and place and all those other things.

“Sorry,” you finally said.

Jungkook’s eyes started darting in all directions. “It… It’s okay.”

“It’s kind of not. No one should be touching other people’s tongues without permission,” you pointed out.

He wasn’t really looking at you. “It’s okay… I forgive you.”

“Stop pretending I’m not a bundle of walking problems.”

Now those brown orbs finally scooting back to you.

There was no getting around that.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not a fun problem to have,” Jungkook mumbled softly.

Yeah, especially not after this irresponsible, selfish, childish guy said something like that.

There was a lot of shit you could say, but none of it seemed right. They sounded like excuses, or lame roundabouts, or too much too fast, like getting a whole sleeve of heavily-inked tattoos in a little under two years and a bigass motorbike after passing your motorcycle license exam. They sounded like feebleness in what was pretty clear, and you didn’t believe in saying something that wasn’t the truth.

“Um...”

Jungkook continued staring at you like a lost reindeer even though his nose was quite red.

You decided it was best to give a response. “Yeah?”

“You… You’re not doing anything on Christmas?” he asked.

“Ah, no. Nope, I just get a day off work.”

An extended silence.

You verbally approached very carefully. “You wanna… uh… hang out at my place?”

“Oh…” Man, this conversation sure was something. “I can bring some food and stuff. I can cook.”

“Me too.”

“You… like pork belly, right?”

“Yeah. It’s my favorite.”

Good fuckin’ gracious.

You couldn’t stand it anymore and exasperatedly put your head in your hand. “Just…” You saw Jungkook peering at you, looking worried. You put your hand down, resolving yourself quite quickly. “Okay. Give me your number. I’ll text you the address.” You didn’t think about it too much. Just yanked your phone out of your inner pocket and furiously typed down the numbers that came out of Jungkook’s mouth, your frozen fingers needing to press more than once, but you eventually got there.

After you pressed send, you immediately jerked your head up and looked at those big brown eyes very seriously.

“I… We… What happens, happens,” you finally said.

Jungkook nodded determinedly. “Yeah.”

It was pretty obvious what was going to happen but, then again, there were children around.

Last Christmas you received a gift with a note that said I love you.

This year, you would receive…?

-

“You think Die Hard is a Christmas film?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Sure?”

The actual movie didn’t really matter. Mostly because you fell asleep on top of him and woke up to a black television screen, wrapped in a fuzzy red velvet blanket, and Jeon Jungkook staring at you in the darkness. You blinked slowly. Could barely make out his face in the faint light of the open window, seeing the shape of his parted lips, the shine of his large eyes, the waves of black hair that cradled his cheeks.

You had animated conversation over dinner, funny stories of Jungkook’s friends and viral videos you had both seen on the internet, so natural it was almost frightening, complete with weird tense moments of silence that you or he pushed along, resolute, knowing how you got here, and yet.

Chills all over despite the warmth under the blanket.

He was not wearing a tacky sweater now. Just a simple black and white plaid flannel and a white t-shirt under, paired with loose black pants. Oversized and cozy to go with your fleece red-and-black checkered long pajamas. He smelled the same as he did the other day. He didn’t bring anything with him but a large glass Tupperware of food and his motorcycle helmet, saying he forgot to leave it by his bike. His heavy black coat was hanging in the hall closet by the front door.

You stared at Jungkook, saying nothing.

Stayed close.

He leaned in.

You closed the distance.

You were pretty sure you had a soul of ice.

Then again, Jungkook had said earlier in the night that he had been told in his fortune that he had too much fire in him, so maybe it canceled out or something.

You wanted to say you had an entire, deep discussion of, is this a good idea, or perhaps even, what is courteous and respectful but also fulfills the personal desires of the very obvious between us, but there was only heavy making out and lip-locking and breathless gasps and your hands around his waist again, warm and solid and present, and you shuddered, breathing him in, pulling him close, pressing your body to his.

Jungkook didn’t waste time.

His hands were on your hips, his wispy moan trailing over your lips.

Oh no. You tried to resist the addictive sensation that demanded to be chased, your lower body rolling into his, feeling was what very real and very apparent, his shaking breath tickling your lower lip and chin, whine shimmering in his throat. He liked it. Pulled you closer, increasing the pressure, your clothed pussy practically riding his clothed dick.

You caught his moaning mouth and felt the electricity of his arousal enter your lungs, your hands tangling into his hair, pulling his head back, first lightly and then when he didn’t relent, harder, tearing a moan from his throat, loud and vicious and pure power of his vocal cords vibrating under your kisses, nipping at his neck and leaving small possessive marks that he encouraged with gasping, don’t stop, don’t stop, please, falling apart in your skillful hands, tracing the crown of his head, his ears, his jaw.

You ran your tongue over his collarbone and then softly trailed back with kisses.

“O-Oh, fuuuuck me…”

That was the idea, yeah.

He was unbuttoning your pajama shirt.

“Wha… Why are you wearing a bra?”

You guessed that was not supposed to sound whiny but then again Jungkook was pouting in frustration.

“I generally wear bras. You know, to hold my tits.”

He puffed his cheeks. “Don’t ladies usually not wear bras at home?”

“I imagine the situation might change if there was a hot man involved.”

An involuntarily shiver travelled all over Jungkook and the only reason you could feel it was because you were basically humping his dick.

“Also, we can’t talk much if you are distracted by my nipples,” you added.

You felt an agile hand creeping around to the back clasp. “What if I want to be distracted by your nipples…?” he trailed off experimentally, giving you a curious, mischievous look.

You raised your eyebrows.

“Sounds like someone belongs on the naughty list.”

He tilted his head, sending dark strands over one eye and his cheek.

“Who’s asking?” he purred, his silvery voice low and deep.

Well, shit.

The man knew how to be sexy.

You raked your fingers through his thick black hair, feeling him tremble under you.

“Leader of the naughty list herself,” you breathed back, leaning in to kiss him again.

While it was true that Jungkook had not come with some last-minute wrapped trinket, he had brought a hard dick and abundant horniness, and that was a pretty good gift in your book. You showed him your boobs and those nipples he was so keen about – well, technically, he showed himself and audibly gasped when your bra tumbled off. You weren’t sure if he was acting or not, but that question was answered too, because he lifted you by the waist and ran his tongue over your cleavage and then started making out with your chest.

“Oh…!”

Your turn to be surprised and you clutched his head, gasping, pushing him to suck, and he didn’t need any more signs, circling his tongue around the hard nab and then his eyelids fluttered, moaning deep in his chest. Hot shivers at the feeling of his warm mouth and gentle insistence, your body pressing into him, matching his rhythm and sound, holding his free hand to your neglected breast while his other hand splayed over your lower back, strong and secure. Your thighs squeezed his waist, feeling his desire melt into yours.

It wasn’t like you didn’t know.

You just didn’t act on it and neither did Jungkook, other than the occasional puppy eyes because he was terrible at lying. He had made a conscious effort to stay securely in the friendzone out of respect. You had appreciated that, really. But then there was that chance meeting, and, even then, you knew he took you to the Festival of Lights just to cheer you up, not to put you in any complex or awkward situation, but, again, he was bad at lying and there was no getting around this very intense attraction between you and Jeon Jungkook.

Hence the current kissing down your stomach and you leaning back, slow cascading moan falling from your lips as you felt his dance around your bellybutton and he pulled down the waistband of your pajama pants, following your hip line.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy…”

Your fingertips grazing the lines of his legs, nails applying dainty pressure that made him quiver under you, his breath hitching as you placed your hands on his thighs and pressed your fingers inward, lifting yourself back up. Leaning down to kiss him again, tasting traces of you on his lips. Slowly peelings his clothes off, tangling him in them just to see his eyebrows knit in frustration, so cute, but you didn’t say, not yet, and then your clothes were in a rumpled pile on the living room floor. You in your panties and him in his boxer briefs, and you straddled his waist, kissing him repeatedly, rubbing your chest into his, feeling him under you.

Hot.

Shivering.

Overwhelmed with sensation, rolling his hips and hard cock into your covered heat.

He liked the feeling of your fingernails running down his chest. You did it once, just to test, and he reached for your hands, pulling them back up, more, and you watched his body writhe and fall apart under your touch, his head tipping back and lifting up his torso to add more pressure, moan hiking when you scratched down his sides and kissed his chest, licking his nipples, traveling to his back, earning a stronger reaction and his fingers sinking into your ass, his erection throbbing in between your thighs that squeezed his tense hips.

“Fuck, oh, fuck…”

You could feel the dampness occurring, both from you and him.

“J… Jungkook…”

You couldn’t stop kissing him, continuously telling yourself last one, but that was ages ago, lips locked and drunk on foreplay, on his body and his sound, vibrant and carnal, a mix of cute and sexy that was practically illegal. Couldn’t stop touching him, couldn’t stop whispering to him how nice he felt, how nice he tasted, careless, absorbed in the strength of his lust.

“C-Can I fuck you…? I brought condoms in my coat, j-just in case…”

“Naughty boy,” you scolded and didn’t mean it, and it was dangerous, so dangerous the way Jungkook desperately moaned as you placed your hand over his damp, pulsing hardness and rubbed him through his underwear, too dangerous with the way he looked at you and gasped, you wanna sit in this naughty boy’s lap?

Thankfully, that was the extent of that.

Also, you didn’t bother going all the way to the hall closet when you had plenty of condoms in your bedroom.

And, yeah, you sat in his lap.

”Oooh, wow, y-you feel soooo fucking good…“

Could have been either of you or both of you saying it. You wouldn’t remember if you thought about it later, because you were too busy rocking your hips and trying to find the correct rhythm again. It was easier than you thought, maybe because of Jungkook’s roaming hands on your thighs, hips, breasts, his fingers pinching your nipples, sending sparks of pleasure across your torso that matched the satisfying fullness deep inside, and, right there, finding the correct depth and forcefulness, chasing it immediately, building the steady pace with the condom wrapper tumbling down your sheets and hitting your knee.

You snatched it and chucked the foil wrapper over the side of your bed.

“Oh!”

“Forget about it, fuck me, Jungkook, fuck me.”

He angled his hips up and you rode him, relentless pleasure and waves of need satisfied by thrusting, clenching around his thick, hard cock, losing yourself in the shocking bliss.

You closed your eyes.

Felt the heat, so intense it sent chills up and down your spine. Couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop, hands on his chest, tense and vibrating under harsh smacks and craving more, your name in Jungkook’s breathless voice addicting. His sound, intoxicating. His body, telling, unable to lie and you could be nothing but be honest, so good, fuck, feels so fucking good, speeding in the fast lane and soaring from the feeling.

There was no doubt that Jungkook was someone special.

You looked down, just for a moment, catching those brown eyes, glassy and fucked-out and watching you like you were everything and more.

I need him.

The thought was so intense and raw that you felt something inside you snap, your breath cutting off, torrential crash and orgasm seizing you by the throat, throwing your head back, your hair sweeping your shoulders, and you came around him, jerking your hips to bury him deeper, oh, fuck, yeees, suspended in the blissful, powerful rush, feeling your liquid honey leak out and down, covering him with it, the scent of sex rising between your bodies.

Jungkook lifted his hips and your body by doing so, his hands strongly grasping your waist, moaning with you, thrusting hard and fast, fucking your through your orgasm and you immediately tumbled into another peak, back-to-back intensity, feverish pitch of your joined voices as he came too, rock-hard and twitching inside your pulsating tightness, holding both of you up by a miracle.

Or sheer lust.

Nice or naughty, right?

For a moment, mute, stunned silence at the shared feeling between you and him.

Sure, it was pretty damn obvious you were going to fuck.

You just didn’t expect it to feel this good and this right.

Down, down, down. Slow, serene, subliminal, the way he sank down and both your gazes left the ceiling, sinking into your sheets, your eyes and his eyes connecting, quiet but an entire conversation humming between your bodies.

“J… Jungkook.”

He was panting hard, sweat glistening on his chest and forehead, his long black hair a mess your pillows. “Y… Yeah?”

“It’s… It’s a bit late…”

Well, actually, you had no idea what time it was.

“Y-Yeah, it kinda is…” he breathed, caressing your hips with his fingertips, relentless energy under you, eyes so big and brown that you could drown in that comforting darkness.

“Can you just…”

A pause, racing hearts beating together.

“Stay?” you asked, tentative and unsure.

Jungkook squeezed your thigh, reassurance in his touch.

“I wanna stay,” he stated, nodding determinedly.

So, he stayed, the start of many Christmases to come.

--

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #bts smut #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook smut

[yellowroseswrites]

Hi, I was wondering if you could write a fic about Spencer Reid x sh/ed reader. The reader is very insecure because she feels like she used to be smart but isn't anymore and maybe after failing a case she starts harming herself again.

I was also wondering if you could include

that she wears a watch all the time

that she tends to cut small cuts on her fingers because she can blame them on other things and often digs her nails into them when anxious

has a good relationship with family so she feels her actions are unjustified

Spencer and reader are friends but shes always thought of him as more

I totally understand if this isn't possible and thank you.

"I want to help you carry it."

Spencer Reid x Sh!BAU!Reader

Author's notes- [ “has a good relationship with her family so she feels her actions are unjustified’ called me out personally and i need emotional compensation /j. Sorry these pieces have taken so long, a lot of my requests have been sh related and i wasn’t in the right headspace until recently, i hope you understand and i hope you enjoy this piece <3 also this is taken quite far from the prompt, so i’m sorry about that. I’ll definitely try to write more with reid and sh reader, so i’ll try to follow the request a bit more closely next time]

TW- {Self harm mentions, not super graphic, but it is a bit detailed, mentions of kidnapping and su!c!de (briefly), Eating habits mentioned, but not detailed at all, disassociation scenes, 2 of them i think, use of y/n}

1.2k words, enjoy

You looked down at your watch, watching the second hand tick all the way around the circle, desperately trying not to look up. If you looked up, all you would see is the dissapointed face of your best friend, Spencer.

You were sat on a stool near his kitchen counter. Usually if you were sitting here, there would be laughter and smiles, maybe pizza or some freshly baked cupcakes, but this was different. You only ever saw Reid like this once, when he sat you down to talk to you about your eating habits. You swore you would never do anything that would make him that upset again. You never wanted him to worry about you. He had enough on his plate, you would only be a burden. And yet, here you are.

You thought you were hiding it well, to be honest you really were. You never let anything slip, not a wince, not a complain, nothing. No one knew a thing, until today.

You were finishing a case, a rough one if you’re being honest. There was a young girl, one with scars everywhere, self inflicted. Everyone thought she had killed herself, except you and Reid. You both fought hard to find the girl. The team did end up finding her, she was trapped in some freaks attic. The case was closed, she was found, it was fine. You told yourself it was fine, you did your best to convince yourself that it didn’t bother you. It wasn’t until you were filling out your case reports that you finally let yourself dwell on it. You could hear Derek’s voice so clearly in your head, “Is it possible that she took her own life? It’s clear she has suicidal tendencies.” Even after JJ and Hotch explained the complexities of non-suicidal self injury, his words still rang in your head. You dont even know why it bothered you. I wasn’t judgmental, it wasn’t disrespectful, it wasn’t even a bad theory, but it rattled you. It’s like you could perfectly imagine them talking about you like that, like you were nothing but your habits. You knew that wasn’t how Morgan meant it, he was doing his job, you would do the same for any other case, but this one just stung.

As you thought about it, you faded into your mind. It’s like you weren’t even there at your desk, you were inside your head. Your nails found there way to your other hands knuckles. You were good at hiding the marks, and it was easy to lie about them. They were your hands, anyone would believe that you just knicked them, or got them stuck in your car door, or that your neighbors cat was a playful fella, or the countless other excuses you had saved in your resevoir. You never hurt youself in public, or when people could catch you, except today apperently. Your finger was red and bleeding by the time you snapped out of your haze. Or rather, was rudely dragged out of our haze by Spencer. You blinked a few times as you focused on him and what he was saying.

“Y/n stop that.” His hands were on yours. You were frozen for a second, your mind almost buffering, before the reality of that moment actually dawned on you. Without speaking a word you pulled your hands back and stoop up from your desk.

You grabbed your bag, sliding your unfinished report into your desk drawer, before beginning to walk off, “Good work Spence, I’ll see you tommorow.” You made your way to the elevator, ttrying to avoid the obvious footsteps following you. He put his hand on your shoulder as you made your way out of the building, gently guiding you to his car. You didn’t fight it, you knew you couldn’t, and you would really rather not make a scene in your work parking lot. You listened to the hum of his car air conditioner as he drove the all familiar route to his appartment. 

That’s how you ended up here. A few warm tears falling down your cheeks while Spencer silently stares at your shrunken figure. He was trying to find the words that he wanted to say, which was never a good thing. He was the Spencer Reid, he always knew what to say. 

He finally cleared his throat, after what felt like ages, “Non-suicidal self injury is a habitual addiction, but it’s possible to recover from it. You just have to tell someone about it, that’s step one. That’s always been step one. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know Spence. I’m sorry.” Your voice was small. You felt small compared to your all knowing best friend. You knew everything there was to know about self harm, sometimes it was the only thing you wanted to read about or learn about, sometimes you felt like it was the only thing you knew about,  but you knew this was how Reid helped, so you tried to stay calm as you let him tell you everything that you already had memorized. 

“We’re friends y/n, you can talk to me.”

You huffed at that, mumbling a small, “Yea friends.”

“You’re deflecting.” He sounded softer, you hurt him. You were deflecting, and now you feel worse than you did before. You hated this, you wanted to go home and relive this day. Your nails started to sink into the skin on your thigh.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Great, Spencer saw. Spencer knows. Spencers going to think your insane, he’s going to talk about you like your a victim. He’s going to talk to you like a baby and look at you like your bleeding out in front of him. He’s never going to think about you the way you think of him, your just some charity case for him. He doesn’t -

His hand grabs yours, taking it away from your leg. Before your brain can catch up with you, your arms are wrapped around him, pressing your face into his torso. Your tears are falling more freely now. You feel his hands run through your hair and rub against your back. You never feel more safe than you do when your in his arms, your thoughts can’t catch you here. 

You aren’t sure how long you stay like that before you gently pull away from him. You sit patiently as he examines your hands. You can see the hurt in his eyes, you do your best to ignore it. 

“I love you, y/n. I don’t want you to do this to youself. You can get help for this. You can talk to me about it if you need to.” He was soft, but not condescending. You could feel yourself melt, as though you needed another reason to love him.

“I can’t do that, I’ll just be a burden. This isn’t your baggage to carry.” You started to pull away again.

“It’s still your baggage, I just want to help you carry it. Let me help you, please.” His voice pulled you right back in.

You wiped the remaining tears from your face, “Okay Spence.” He sighed in relief, taking your hands and leading you to the couch. You both sat, you resting your head against his chest. You didn’t have to talk about it now. You knew you would eventually, but that's another thing about Spencer, you felt comfortable. You didn’t feel anxious about the impending conversations to be had, you weren’t stressing about him watching you or knowing your secrets, you simply felt safe. That was enough for now.

#yellowroseswrites #comfort fics #x reader #x reader fic #self h@rm #self harm fic #sh!reader #self h@rm reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reider #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #tw #spencer reid comfort

[lovesugars]

❝pumpkin❞

summary ─ after a long day at work you help your husband relax. in more ways than one

pairing ─ saul goodman x housewife!reader

warnings ─ smut, +18, table sex, praise kink, housewife kink, older man/ younger woman, overuse of the nickname "pumpkin"

a/n— he’s so sexy in this gif. i want him so bad.

You were setting cutlery on the table as you prepared tonight’s dinner. 

Your husband usually came home with built-up energy from his day; his job could be very stressful sometimes, dealing with particularly dangerous or difficult clients. He always made sure you had everything you wanted, and more, so it was the best you could do to make sure he always had a hot dinner to come home to. 

You’d been married for little over a year now, and since Saul provided everything for you, you no longer needed to work, which meant you had all the time in the world to get dolled up for him. 

You smiled fondly at the thought. Not only did you spend all day cooking for your husband, but you dressed up for him too. Your hair was perfectly curled, and you were wearing one of the newer lingerie sets Saul had gifted you. 

As soon as you took dinner out of the oven, you heard Saul’s keys jingle through the door, and you mentally praised yourself for your timing. You placed the food down on the table and went off to greet your husband. 

You walked up to the front door, pink kitten heels clacking against the hardwood floors. “Hi, honey, how was your day?” You sauntered up to him and gently grabbed his briefcase from his hand, setting it aside and out of the way. 

“I don’t really want to talk about work..not when you look like that.” He smirked, “Come here, baby.” 

Saul wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to him for a kiss. He always tasted so good. It must've been part of the reason why you married him in the first place. You pushed yourself against his chest so you could be closer to him. He made sure to take a minute to grope at your barely covered ass, which made you squeal into his mouth. 

You took a minute to catch your breath before you said: “Dinner’s on the table, I made your favourite.” 

“Aww pumpkin, all this for little ole me? I’m touched.” 

“You know I love cooking for you,” you giggled, “Now eat before it gets cold.” 

“Yes ma'am.” Your husband mock-saluted before sitting down at the table. You fondly watched him as he ate, excited for what was going to happen once he was finished. You brushed your foot against his leg, staring up at him through your lashes. You’d been waiting for him all day, and you had to admit that your fingers just didn’t do the job quite right anymore. Not like he did. 

“Are you enjoying your dinner?” you asked innocently, “I think I added a little too much salt.” 

“It’s perfect, pumpkin,” he said, resting his hand over your bare thigh. You felt him squeeze the pudge at the top of your inner thigh, dangerously close to your barely covered cunt. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

As you both finished your dinner, each sharing stories about your day, you felt the ache between your legs grow stronger. You could barely ignore it anymore. Your husband teasingly pretended to be oblivious to your current predicament.

 You squeezed your knees together to try and relieve some of the pressure, yet it did little to satisfy you. You needed him. You waited eagerly for him to finish eating before you quickly cleared the table.

“I think it’s time for dessert, honey.” you said seductively in his ear, “I want you..” 

You kicked off your heels and propped yourself up onto the table. “I want you to take me right here. Right on the table.” You moaned, “please.” 

His eyes widened, “I won’t argue with that.” 

He started to rub your clit through the fabric of your teddy, the friction making you throb with desire. You let out a pornographic moan at the feeling. 

“You really are something, huh?” he chuckled, “Barely touched you and you're already soaked through this pretty little thing.” 

“Please Jimmy..” You moaned into his ear, “Please fuck me.” 

He didn’t waste any time ripping the lace fabric off your body, tearing it in the process. You whined in protest, and Saul shushed you, “Baby, I’ll buy you another one, hell, I’ll buy you five more.” 

Before you could respond, he bucked his hips up into you. Your body writhed with pleasure as he continued to pound into you with such force it made the table rattle. You’ve been waiting for this all day. It felt so good you could barely contain yourself. 

The ache between your legs slowly dissipated. You felt that coil in your tummy begin to unravel. You knew you weren’t going to last very long. 

“Please, I’m ─ fuck─ I’m so close..” 

“So am I,” he grunted, “Cum for me, pumpkin.” 

Your orgasm hit like a freight train, and almost immediately after you finished, you felt his warm cum filling you up even more. 

“That was perfect,” you sighed, “I love you.” 

You hopped off of the table with shaking legs, reaching up to embrace him. He held you close to him and you felt his chest heave against you.

Saul let out a deep breath, “I love you too.” 

You both stood there for a moment before he finally spoke:

"Fuck, that was murder on my back," he groans, "Think you can rub it out for me, pumpkin?"

#angelina’s love letters. #better call saul #bob odenkirk #jimmy mcgill #jimmy mcgill x reader #saul goodman #saul goodman x reader

[momosandlemonsoda]

WIP Wednesday

I’m plugging away at ch 19 of the rock star au (aka Dance the Silence Down) so have a couple of bits. In this chapter, the showcase finally happens and I’m writing sections in each of the three POVs. Here are the first parts of DFS and FDB’s POVs (I haven’t written LLH yet).

Di Feisheng:

Dusk2Dawn is packed, like it always is on these nights—showcases are guaranteed to bring in a big crowd, which is why the venue runs them monthly. It’s why DFS had already played one, plans to play another, though he’s been trying to put together a band before he comes back. Too bad he’s been far too distracted by Xiangyi to make more than half-hearted efforts to pull a band together. He can admit to himself that he’s been hoping that Xiangyi will snap out of his… funk, depression, whatever, and agree to play with him. After Wednesday, well—

After Wednesday, he thinks, leaning against the bar and ordering a beer, he’ll be lucky to get Xiangyi to speak to him at all tonight.

It’s been a long fucking time since he’s played something so incredibly wrong. To learn that Xiangyi doesn’t even play piano anymore—it makes him sick to his stomach just to think about it. Everyone knew the stories—discovered by Qi Mushan, an amazing musician in his own right, in an orphanage playing piano at age 4. On the concert stage at 11, touring until he “quit” at 16 to start a rock band with his brother… Xiangyi once told him that his earliest memories were of someone singing him a lullaby; that he remembered picking the notes out on the piano over and over again, and never knowing what it was until Qi Mushan told him it what it was. And then, of course, he’d learned to play it flawlessly.

***

Fang Duobing

“You look so cuuuuuuute!”

Fang Duobing can feel his cheeks heat up as Kira plucks at his sweater.

“I told you the white cable knit was the best option, you look like you’re on the cover of Vogue.” She turns to Chenchen. “Doesn’t he look like the perfect singer-songwriter?”

“Um,” he starts, but Chenchen cuts him off.

“I still think you could have gone edgier,” she says, making a little moue of dissatisfaction. “Let me do your makeup now, you need more mascara for your eyes to really pop.”

It’s all he can do not to bat her hands away and cover his face in mortification. He reminds himself that his friends are just being supportive no matter how embarrassing it is to have them fuss over him in front of Li Lianhua.

“It’s fine,” he mutters, trying to duck away, but Chenchen grabs his arm and then makes him squat down so she can reach his eyelashes. Damn it.

He can see Li Lianhua out of the corner of his eye, standing silently nearby with on hand in his pocket, the other holding Fang Duobing’s guitar case, his long hair pulled back half-up, half-down. He looks a little pale but otherwise his usual shit-eating self, and he laughs silently when he catches Fang Duobing’s eye.

“There!” Chenchen announces, “I think that’s perfect. And I like the way you did your hair, the leather guan makes you look like a cross between a wuxia hero and a bad boy.”

Oh no, he thinks, watching Li Lianhua mouth the words, “Bad boy,” before he clearly bites down on the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t burst into hysterical laughter. Sourly, Fang Duobing hopes he gets a canker sore. Jerk.

#mysterious lotus casebook #rock star au #li lianhua #fang duobing #di feisheng #wip wednesday #DFS is still disturbed from his last convo with llh #whereas fdb is truly Suffering in front of his man #my fic #writing is a bullshit hobby

[s1ckh1mb0]

Shoko x reader

You weren’t sure how she hasn’t grown tired of it yet. Watching Satoru and Suguru laugh with each other and not even acknowledge her. If that was you then you would have been dropped they asses. How could she possibly deal with their treatment over her all the time? Being someone’s best friend and knowing you weren’t there’s. Excluding her out of things, making jokes she didn’t get cause it was between them. Making plans right in front of her face. How could they just disrespect and disregard her as if she wouldn’t do anything for them.

You could only watch on for so long before the aura started to become miserable. You moved from the cafe table you were sitting at and approached the group. You were happily greeted by Satoru who practically engulfed you into his arms until Suguru had to pull him away and questioned you.

“Hm? What are you doing here. Utahime said you were gone for the next three weeks.”

“I was visiting my family but got into an argument so I came home early. I dropped by here to eat before I headed back to my apartment.”

Gojo cut you off without a second thought.

“So you’re free then. You should come with me and Suguru, we’re gonna go to this new place that opened down the block after I pick up Megumi.”

You cocked your eyebrow at his statement. Has he completely forgotten that Shoko was literally right behind them? They just made plans in her face and instead of inviting her they invited you.

“Are you going sho?”

“Oh uh, nah i don’t want to intrude.”

This left a bad taste in your mouth. She needed to get a grip.

“I’m gonna actually have to catch up with you guys later, I gotta visit Nanamin. But Sho can i talk to you real quick?”

“Sure.”

You motioned your head for her to follow you and brought her outside of the cafe. Before she could even get out a cigarette you spoke up and turned her attention towards you.

“Why you be letting them treat you like that koko? You know damn well I don’t like seeing that so I know that you don’t like being treated like that.”

Shoko was quiet for a moment. Not even sparing you a glance as she thought.

“False hope I guess. Suguru isn’t that bad but Satoru..it’s like a here Sugurus around I don’t exist to him. But that’s kinda how I’ve always been. Like a ghost child. Just going through the day without people recognizing I’m there.”

“But why still put yourself through that. Hun, I hate to see you upset by those dumb ass niggas. It hurts me koko. I want you to be happy. Please. Let me make you happy…”

“Eh- what are you talking about?”

“Don’t be dumb you heard me.”

“You can’t just be saying shit like that, I almost took you seriously.”

She snorted before lighting her cigarette and taking a long drag out of it, blowing the smoke through her nose before her eyes flickered open and met yours. When she looked at your face she noticed there was no smile. No laugh at the end like people usually did when asking her out. Just a look of seriousness. You were dead serious about wanting her and she couldn’t fathom it.

“You’re not laughing? Why are you not laughing? You’re supposed to laugh at the end of the joke.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

“Stop. It’s not funny anymore. Quit dragging it out and just quit joking. I’m too tired for this.”

“I already told you koko. I’m not joking. I want you. I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to treat you the way you should have been a long time ago. I want you to know you’re not invisible.”

There was a mutual silence for a minute as you both evaluated your feelings, especially shoko though.

“So…you’re not joking? This isn’t a prank?”

“No baby, this isn’t a joke or a prank. I wanna be yours Sho.”

“Alright. Shit I didn’t expect this but I’m- I’m willing to get used to it.”

You couldn’t help but smile as you wrapped your arms around her waist.

“And I’m willing to be as patient as you need.”

“Fuck. I love you so much.”

“I love you too sho, baby.”

#Spotify #fanfic #x character #x reader #x black reader #x black plus size reader #x black male reader #x male reader #shoko ieiri #jjk shoko #jujutsu kaisen shoko #shoko x reader #shoko x black reader #jjk fluff #jjk x male reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x black reader #jjk x poc!reader #jjk x black y/n #jujutsu shoko #shoko my love❤️

[genshrineimpact]

universe abound

| ◆ ch.3 ⑊ a new door opens.

⬙⤠ masterlist ⤝⬙

◇ a/n ◇ i pray i didn't butcher venti's character in this lol i rarely write for him sooo.... hey, practice makes perfect, right?

"your grace, what an honor to finally meet you for the first time!"

you suppress a peal of laughter when the other allogenes shift in displeasure at the casual way the newly born wisp greeted you, but you allow yourself to at least smile. the wind spirit beams upon your positive response, and out of nowhere it summons a beautiful lyre that's a tad too big for its tiny form.

"i’m sure you're bored just sitting all day in this stuffy palace! would you like to hear a song?"

"insolent cur! how dare-"

a particular disciple’s yell quietens as soon as your hand raises. out of the corner of your eye, you can see morax grinning mischievously into his fist. you glance at the two and remembers seeing them together - friends and rivals, perhaps? how adorable.

with a huff, you motioned the young one to start playing. seemingly pleased with itself, it skillfully dances around the lyre. the sound waves seem to pulse off the palace’s walls, making the melodies even more pleasant to your ears. when it starts to sing, you sigh contentedly against the throne, eyes fluttering to a close.

though your existence feels burdensome at times, moments like make it not so bad.

the door opens to your abode and slams close after you. with a tired groan, you trudge into your home and let your body automatically go through the motion you’ve set for yourself for the past ten years: shower, change clothes, heat up dinner, watch some news while eating, text some family members, do some work, bed-

-oh right, you should probably uninstall that counterfeit genshin app thingy.

just on cue, a notification sound enters your ears and you glare at the nonsensical-looking text on it. it was sort of creepy at first, but recently it’s popping up so frequently it's starting to get on your nerves.

you swipe up to ignore it, but another one pops up. more corrupted letters. you sigh and swipe up once more. yet another new one pops up.

but surprisingly, this one isn't gibberish.

‘help’

your finger hesitates, hovering on top of your phone’s screen.

with a shuddering breath, you click your tongue.

"fine, just one last time, i’ll see if i can do something."

you pocket your phone and trudge towards your usual seat, completely missing the notification that pops up right after you said those words.

there's apprehension in your chest when you boot up the game this time. you really doubt you can do anything. honestly, you should have just deleted the game now, but…

... fingers crossed that the hidden quest won't take too long to finish.

just like last time, the door is already there. unlike last time, you hesitate opening it.

it feels… ominous.

like the calm before a storm.

like your life is about to be turned upside down.

"hah, what can even happen? i get isekai’d into a stupid video game?"

you snort and proceed to open the door.

"bring it on, bitch."

a bright light engulfs you completely, encasing the whole room in white.

when the light recedes and finally disappears, the monitor momentarily shows a closed door, before it glitches and an error message pops out, saying that the game isn't available anymore because its service period has ended.

on your desk, your phone lights up with a final notification. the last  two unread rectangles stack on top of each other for a second before blinking out of existence, not a soul bore witness to the words flashing on the screen.

‘thank you’

‘welcome home’

‘genshi̶̘͘n impact̸͉̎’ schedules your devices to turn off, before deleting itself from both of them, leaving blank screens in the now silent room.

barbatos materializes on top of the broken head of his statue right in front of the big tree in windrise, eyes widening towards the sky. something burns inside his chest. a fervent pull that he hasn't felt for far too long. immediately, he knows. and he’s quite sure the other archons, or perhaps even the vision wielders can feel it too - the way their gnosis and visions are vibrating and thrumming with power.

perhaps?

could it be?

have their wishes and prayers finally….?

the gloomy clouds suddenly disperse, as if blown by a strong wind, revealing the starry skies that mondstadt hasn't seen in ages. a blinding flash, and the anemo god gasps when a star descends rapidly from the sky.

bright and pure white, the shooting star trails diamonds behind it, pulsating with power as it falls lower and lower. there are so many emotions running through his mind, but the loudest of all is the repentance of your name. before he can stop himself, tears pour out from his eyes, but he doesn't blink or bother to rub them away, wanting to fully witness this very moment without missing anything.

but before he can as much as utter the words of gratitude and welcome, the light starts blinking rapidly, its glowing radiance fading out, before it extinguishes completely in an instant.

horrified, he watches as you fall straight down onto the ground, creating an earthquake felt all around teyvat. at once, his mind is flooded with the thought of getting to you as fast as possible.

in a millisecond, barbatos turns into wind itself and propels himself forward, heart racing as he ignores his gnosis straining to gather the last remnants of all the anemo energy in teyvat that’s needed to carry him forward.

he’s quite sure he's not the only one risking his life just so that he can be by your side sooner. those who are still alive would have sprung into action the moment they see the anomaly of your light flickering away.

but he will be the one who rescues you if you're in any danger. he has to be.

because when it comes to you, he wants to always be the first.

© genshrineimpact | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated - it's the least you could do as a reader on tumblr. remember, likes do nothing on this website! feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #sagau #venti #barbatos #zhongli #morax #rex lapis #universe abound #rin writes

[wonwoonlight]

something sweet / lee seokmin

➝ Reader x Seokmin (?) // feat. a lot of other idols

➝ coffee shop!au // slice of life // fluff // nonidol!au // someone's got a crush heh

➝ word count: 2.1k

➝ haven cloud masterlist (can be read as standalone)

➝ What’s playing in Haven Cloud

➝ A/N: aand we're finally back with another chapter of Haven Cloud <3 i genuinely thought i'd have more time to write now that i'm not working anymore but alas sdhfds as always, please enjoy this andd do tell me what you think if you do. thank you!

Ryujin is sick.

And you really don’t blame her nor are you annoyed because it is flu season. But the timing couldn’t be worse because there’s a buy drink get dessert event going on in the cafe and there’s definitely an influx of customers because of it. You’re pretty sure Haven Cloud would double the number of its regulars soon.

It was day one yesterday and you’re already beyond exhausted. Apparently, it doesn’t really matter even though you’ve recruited Soonyoung and Wendy as temporary part timers during the three days event, because it honestly still feels like you’re understaffed. So, really, having your regular part timer getting sick during this time is honestly the last thing you’d wish yourself upon. It’s Saturday, for God’s sake.

Fortunately, she already has a replacement. 

Unfortunately, Seokmin is bad at memorizing beverages.

But you really can’t tell him to only do the dishes or main the cashier because you don’t have enough dishes for him to do all day and he doesn’t have any experience maining the cashier. You’re not insane enough for that.

So you settle for him to cater for desserts and serve the customers at first, and tell him he’ll be helping with the dishes later. He just needs to take the dessert, warm them if the customer asks for it, and then serve them to the tables. Piece of cake (aha!) (as long as he’s not clumsy, that is).

“You… are familiar with our desserts, right?” you ask the tall guy in front of you. He looks very sweet, to put it simply, the kinda person whose heart and intention you will not doubt at all. You think he’s kind of shy though, because he can’t hold your eyes for longer than two seconds and it’s pretty amusing to watch because this man is easily taller and his arms can probably crush you with no extra effort whatsoever.

“I am.” He scrunches his nose, and you spend the next ten minutes making sure he really is aware of them by pointing out random pastries and asking him their names and flavors. Thankfully, he only gets them mixed up two times and you’re suddenly glad that Chan didn’t go with his original plan of making unique names for all desserts instead of just calling them as they are. 

“Kitchen, please! These pastries are ready!” You hear Jeonghan’s small scream, and you go inside with Seokmin to help put them on display. Chan insists on having fresh ones for the event, and he even rents an extra long table for the special desserts though the five of you were a bit unsure if it’d sell out. It did though, and if yesterday told you anything, renting the table is definitely worth it. The dessert leftovers from yesterday was only a third of the usual amount, which means it’s considerably less because you did have more stock because of the table.

Ten minutes later, Haven Cloud is open for business and it’s a blur after that. Chan’s brother is even here to help after lunch, and it’s then that you finally have time to eat lunch because the cafe is full and it means you can rest a bit and take turns for a quick break. Jeonghan pats your head when you come into the kitchen, telling you he’s just heating up your food so you can just sit somewhere and wait for a bit.

“This one’s for Seokmin. I’m gonna cover for him as he takes his break,” the older guy says, 

For the most part, it has been quite an eventful day even though it’s been tiring (and you still have like four more hours to go before closing), your heart is happy though, because the event is definitely a lot more successful that all of you have expected to the point where it’s obvious that Haven Cloud is going to grow much more after this.

You look up when you hear the door open again, revealing Seokmin who sends you a forced grin. You signal him to sit beside you after he takes his plate, and he seems a little hesitant for some reason, but he does just as you gesture and sits on the stool right next to you.

“Did something happen?” you ask at last, not liking the way he seems down. He’s easily the kindest person you’ve ever met, and you say this when you’ve only known him for a total of six hours top. Yes, sometimes he comes in as a customer, but he always has his orders to go and even then you’ve always felt like his smile could light up the whole room.

Which is why the way his smile doesn’t reach his eyes doesn’t sit well with you.

Seokmin hesitates, but you insist and he eventually tells you there’s a little commotion outside earlier because he served the wrong order. The original table doesn’t really mind, even tells him it’s okay and they understand it can happen because it’s very busy; but the other customer who got the wrong order got mad beyond rude that Chan has to step up and tells them to calm down because they’re bothering the other tables.

You gape a little at the story, knowing full well that entitled customers are bound to appear when you have these many guests; but it annoys you that it’s Seokmin of all people that has to deal with them though it’s clear that Chan has it under control.

“I’m sorry you had to experience that.” Your brows furrow in annoyance, no longer feel like eating after the story. Seokmin smiles weakly, and you can see the way he’s slowly munching on his food–probably lost his appetite too but he knows he needs it anyway.

Nudging his shoulder in encouragement, you remind him that he totally didn’t deserve that even if he did make a mistake; that the customer is definitely too much and there was never any need to be that rude.

You hide a pout at Seokmin’s forced smile, not liking the situation one bit. Yes, you haven’t known him for long and you keep on saying this, but it’s pretty obvious that he’s a kind person and seeing him like this doesn’t sit well with you.

“Tell you what, we should go out for dinner tomorrow after closing,” you nod at him, deep in your thought that you don’t notice him tensing beside you. “We should celebrate. We all deserve it, I think. Like, you’ve been here for half a day and you can tell how tiring it is already, right?”

You can’t quite translate the sigh he lets out, unsure if he’s tired or if he finds your invitation bothersome. You have known the guy for a total of seven hours anyway, you can see why the invitation might be uncomfortable for him.

“Um, yeah,” he smiles awkwardly. “We all should. Ryujin should be all better too by tomorrow, right?”

“Are you not able to help out tomorrow?” You ask him, wide-eyed.

He blinks at how hopeful you sound, like you wish he’d be here again tomorrow. Or is he making things up?

“I mean, I’m not sure if Ryujin will be better or not by tomorrow, but I think we could use your help either way,” you say honestly, and then proceed to make his heartbeat skips a little when you say how much you appreciate his help and his presence. “We’ve had plenty of substitutes and our own share of part-timers so, really, I can tell when people genuinely want to help and those that want me to shut up already the moment I call them.”

He huffs a laugh at that, and you grin at your successful attempt at cheering him up albeit a little. You spend the rest of your short break talking to each other, because even though you’re not usually this chatty with someone you barely know, Seokmin makes you comfortable enough for that and you feel like he needs it so you don’t see why not.

Thankfully, his mood seems to pick up after that, as he keeps on sending you a smile every time your eyes accidentally meet from across the room. Seungkwan nudges you and wriggles his eyebrows once, and you tilt your head in confusion but don't get to ask for an explanation because another customer comes in and takes your attention.

It’s later that night that you finally get your explanation.

You, Soonyoung and Seungkwan are cleaning the tables while Seokmin and Chan go out to buy dinner. It’s almost half past eight, which means it’s only been about thirty minutes since you’ve flipped the ‘closed’ sign and about fifteen minutes since the last customer leaves. Wendy and Jeonghan are cleaning the kitchen, so it’s just the three of you and that’s when Seungkwan decides to bring the earlier instance up again.

“What was that earlier?”

“What?”

“You and Seokmin.”

You frown. What?

Seungkwan rolls his eyes, too tired to play your game. “Come on.”

But you look even more confused and that’s when Seungkwan realizes that you aren’t messing with him and you really don’t realize what’s been going on.

“He looks at you like a lost puppy asking to be picked up, Cherrie,” he spells it out for you with the most serious tone he can muster, because he knows you never believe him and while he knows it’s on him (and Jeonghan) because he often teams up with the older guy to mess with you, sometimes it’s beyond annoying when he’s actually telling the truth and you refuse to believe him.

“You’re seeing things,” you snort as you shake your head, and then continue on your way to set up the table for dinner. “He just looks like a lost puppy in general.”

“That is true, but he keeps on looking at you, alright?”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes this time, but Soonyoung cuts you before you can even say anything. “He’s right, y’know? He does keep on looking at you.”

“See? I’m not making things up.”

You frown and click your tongue in annoyance, telling them to stop messing with you. “I don’t like the two of you ganging up on me.”

Soonyoung laughs and messes your hair, the grin on his face makes you want to strangle him right there and then.

“Come on, Seokmin must’ve–”

“We’re back, guys!” Chan announces happily, pushing the glass door with his body. Seungkwan shouts for Wendy and Jeonghan while Soonyoung quickly helps them set the food on the table. “We wanted to get something more fancy but we’re going to eat out with Ryujin tomorrow so I thought pizza should be enough.”

“You made him buy this, didn’t you?” You jokingly narrow your eyes at Seokmin, recalling how he said he’s craving for some pizza during break earlier.

He grins sheepishly, and you hear Soonyoung snorts softly behind you, thankfully much too soft for anyone else to hear. You glare at your best friend, and he pretends to zip his mouth and pushes you to sit down already.

Unfortunately for you, you’re sandwiched between him and Seungkwan, and the two wouldn’t stop whispering about Seokmin to your ears though at least they’re being subtle enough about it because you wouldn’t know how to face the kind guy sitting in front of you had they been too loud about it.

“He so has a crush on you,” Soonyoung whispers against your ear, way too close that you lean away from him because his breath tickles. You glare at him and proceed to elbow him on the guts, making him choke a little out of shock. He pouts at you but you don’t relent and you just shake your head as he says he’ll get back at you for it.

It’s then that you accidentally meet Seokmin’s eyes, and it’s your turn to smile shyly like you’ve been caught talking about him (you’re going to give these 2 men hell for this), your ears getting hot for no reason at all. Still, you raise your eyebrows in question just in case, but he simply huffs a smile and returns to his meal.

You blink at the interaction, wondering why it’s flustering you. Gosh, Soonyoung and Seungkwan must be getting to your head.

Or you’re just more lonely than you thought. 

Anyhow, it doesn’t stop you from biting your lip like an idiot that night, unsure how to feel about the messages on your inbox.

[New Message from: Lee Seokmin]

[22:10]: Did you get home safely?

[22:10]: I know I thanked you already, but thank you so much for comforting me today😊 

[22:11]: I’ll see you tomorrow!

[22:14]: Have a good night 🍒

[New Message from: Ryuuu✿]

[22:20]: a little bird told me someone’s got a crush on youuuu👀

[22:20]: i might or might not knwo abt it already tho lol

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved.

🏷permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond

🏷haven cloud taglist: @berriesandjunnie @boowanie @honeymoondelicia @joshuahongnumbers @bbymatz @baldi-2 @justasoftstan @lechanters @darl-ings @17kwans @heesunki @13956789 @yoonguurt @yoonzinosworld @alicehatter457 @wonuziex @bibinnieposts @horranghaesakura @oliviaheaven @trumanblackhatesyou @qiuscloud @cherriscoups

#caratwritersclub #dokyeom au #dokyeom fluff #dokyeom imagines #dokyeom scenarios #seventeen au #seventeen fluff #seventeen fic #seventeen scenario #seokmin fluff #seokmin imagine #seokmin scenario #seokmin scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagine #seventeen fanfic

[babybluebex]

TW TALK OF EATING DISORDER, BAD MENTAL HEALTH

so rn i am so incredibly sick and this is NOT how i imagined ringing in the new year, and i’ve been up all night being ill, so i don’t have a lot of the energy i wish i did, but i did just want to extend a great big huge thank you to everybody who reads this. the first half of 2022 was pretty usual: i cycled through celebrities i would read and write for, not sticking to any one for too long; my mental health was bad; i had relapsed in my bulimia i was stuck in a school i hate and a job i hated even more; and overall it was looking like the year would be typical.

and then joe happened. and you guys happened.

for as much as i love and adore joseph (and he has changed my life as well in his own special way, don’t get me wrong), you guys, my friends, my followers, have changed it even more. when i first started writing for eddie in june, i had just under 3k followers. i remember a night where i cried to my sister soph about feeling burnt out and like i hated writing and wanted to quit, and i took a brief week hiatus to try to sort myself out. it was during this hiatus that i decided to watch stranger things— i had watched the first season way back when it came out, but i hadn’t bothered to watch anymore of it, but i had heard how good s4 was, so i took a chance on it. i watched it and fell in love with the universe. i was already starting to write a robin fic by the time i started s4, and then eddie came into my life.

my first eddie fic was terrible and i’ll never post it bc it was very self indulgent and frankly just Bad (also included a lot of personal details that i can’t just edit out lol), but the first fic i posted was called mighty protector. i continued to post little by little, gaining more and more followers and finding new and exciting friends, until the big one hit, pretty metal. i literally took the day off of work to watch it gain notes and numbers. there was a day where i gained 100 followers in a single day, and i was so excited for it. your interactions saved me. your interactions, every keysmash and excited message to my inbox saved me. it renewed my love of writing and i am forever thankful.

all of this to say, i’m so… thankful isn’t the right word. it’s not strong enough for what i feel. i love everybody that helped make this year special. if i could name each 13k of you, i would, but tumblr only lets me tag about 100 people at a time iirc, so just know that, if you’re reading this, you mean so much to me. i love you guys.

i’m tagging some people who made 2022 such a special year for me, but know how much i love each and every one of you. see in 2023 (hopefully when i’m less sick lmao).

@mypoisonedvine @earlgreydream @king-keery @hellfiremunsonn @lost-in-sokovia @ceriseheaven @bowerquinn @bowersbubbles @topthagomizer @usedtobecooler @lunatictardis @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown @icallhimjoey @lilacletter @punk-in-docs

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

Trope Grading Game

Thank you for the tags @aristocratic-otter and @artsyunderstudy! I really love hearing what y’all are into and why.

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

So the short answer is 0 for everything because I don’t read tags anymore because they never affected my choice to read a story the way a summary, snippet, rec or author gushing about their work would. But! even choosing with these methods the tropes bleed through so here are my rankings

Age gap: -1

I’m not opposed to it per se, I just don’t see the appeal. I just finished a book with side characters in a relationship with a big age gap and I tried to be open minded but it creeped me out a bit. Although I did write Baz as a 200 year old vampire so I guess there’s that! 😅

Codependency: +5

Yeah, give me two people leaning on each other. I think we suffer in silence too much. I think we need human connection. Gimme two people who aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. Yeah sure, it can be problematic but mostly I think it’s nice.

Obsession/possessiveness, jealousy: +5

I fucking love possessive Simon. Sometimes this trope isn’t done well in other stories but with Snowbaz I eat that shit up.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +8

I looooove it. Working past your stereotypes? Becoming more open minded? Seeing someone on a deeper level? Grabby hands

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +8

This is the majority of Snowbaz so obviously, yes. Sometimes I’m not a fan outside the fandom, but here it’s so good. And enemies with benefits??? Please. Cue me foaming at the mouth reading Restoration Ecology by @captain-aralias or it’s fabulous remix by @royalasstronaut.

Friends with benefits: +8

Yes please. As long as there’s some deep feelings involved, even if they come later, I’m there. And often with friendship you’ve got the platonic love there that sometimes builds to more so yes. More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl is an EXCELLENT example of this where they are just pining idiots from day 1 and I’m obsessed.

Sex to feelings: +10

FUCK YES. I will take it every time. I love sex, I love a good slow burn, I love sex with feelings. Make them earn it? PLEASE. Someone Wicked does this so well. @artsyunderstudy is the queen of sex with feelings.

Fake dating/relationship: +8

Yup, this is a goodie. even just fake friendship a la RWRB. Lovely. But yeah when their dating and they gotta kiss to sell it? And the other thinks they are faking but really that’s how they feel? Mmm hmm. Yummy.

Friends to lovers: +10

Y’all know this is my thing. I’ve written it several times. They love each other SO MUCH but they are too afraid to ruin their friendship so they feel they can’t make a move. The angst is right there and I love it.

Found family: +1

This can be great, but if that’s the whole premise I might pass. Fluff can be fun but if that’s all there is, I usually pass. But! If this is a theme in a longer fic with more complex plot? Then it can be really good.

Hurt/comfort: +1

Idk why but I associate this tag with shorter fics that just doesn’t actually hit that hard. Like, the hurt is little and immediately followed by the comfort. Give me the BIG angst. Hurt me good before you make it better. I looooove angst with a happy ending. So if that’s what we are doing then give it to me good.

Love triangle: -3

Meh. I always feel bad for the odd one out. I don’t like seeing the pining and angst without the pay out. And usually this is how it goes. If the third person is an asshole you just have to nudge out of the way, then maybe.

Poly, open relationship: -3

I’m actually quite curious about this and I bet it can be done right, but I usually go for a single OTP. Give me your recs though, I’d love to be convinced otherwise.

Mistaken/hidden identity: +10

Hell yes. They didn’t know it was that person all along? And they fell for them anyways? Fantastic. Even better is when they fall for the same person twice. Both hidden and not. And then! All is revealed and it’s the same person! Think love letters from a secret admirer, masquerade, etc. I mean there’s a reason network connectivity problems is the highest kudosed fic in the fandom.

Monsterfucking: +10

And bless this fandom for introducing me to it and going whole hog with our boys and their monster parts.

Pregnancy: -3

Been there, done that, don’t find it sexy. There’s some good mpreg fics in this fandom though so there are exceptions! Orange Juice by @orange-peony is a GREAT one that I really adored. This fandom just really delivers in any area.

Second chance: +9

Yes please! Unless own person is truly awful and doesn’t deserve it, but typically I love someone getting a chance to try and learn from their mistakes and try again. Don’t we all wish we could have a second chance at something?

Slow burn: +10

ITS SO SATISFYING! The payoff is so good after they’ve worked for it. My favorite.

Soulmates: +1

I love when characters can choose each other despite their destiny. I need conflict. I don’t know if I’ve read any Snowbaz ones. I think because I like them at odds and assume they won’t be. @artsyunderstudy is giving me recs to help me see the light LOL.

Who hasn’t done this? Tagging those above who haven’t done it plus a few more, if you’re up for it @whogaveyoupermission @iamamythologicalcreature @facewithoutheart @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @raenestee @valeffelees

#trope grading game

[eeteernity]

Thanks for the advice

Sano Shinichiro x reader

warnings: i’m not sure what happened the the sanos parents so i’m just gonna make a little something up but it doesn’t go against the plot of the manga at all

Just like any child, Shinichiro was upset at his parents recent mishaps. First the divorce, now their fathers death and mothers absence, he had a right to be upset. Everyone around him knew that, an 12 year old boy, with his 2 year old brother. Thankfully their grandfather took them in, but it still stung to be abandoned like that. He was constantly sluggish and in a bad mood. Not showing his kind and caring self to the world anymore, he shut himself off, from his friends, family, even himself. But that didn’t sit right with (y/n).

She wasn’t friends with the boy, only sharing a few classes with him in the past few years, and he would be joining the same dojo as her, the one his grandpa ran. Still, They talked a few times in class, but that was the extent of it. But he was being so obvious about his bad mood it pissed her off. Usually she wouldn’t care about these kinds of things, but it felt different with him. Maybe because of his situation, the way he was handling? She really didn’t know; All she knew is that she was annoyed at him. 

It had been a mildly warm day, at lunch time she went to some shaded area, one near the edge of the school, so people would be less likely to find her. It’s not that (y/n) hated people, she wasn’t bullied or anything. She had quite a few friends actually. Hot days just weren’t her days. So imagine her surprise when the boy she’s most annoyed with comes to her spot. Just plopped himself down almost next to her. On a warm day too! she could feel her body heat rise.

“It’s really hot today.”

he said out loud, (y/n) wasn’t really sure if he was talking to her or not. so she wanted to reply just in case.

“mhm i feel my skin peeling off right now.”

“haha! me too. I’m sano shinichiro by the way, we share some classes together if you remember. You can call me anything, i really don’t mind. Especially when it’s a pretty girl like you!”

the boy laid back on the tree, trying to cool himself down.

“pretty? Usually boys wait a bit before saying that. You shouldn’t just throw out compliments willy nilly, they lose their meaning then!”

“h-huh?! I’m being serious though! you’ve always been pretty. You think i call every girl i see pretty???”

he said, shock laced in his voice as he jolted up, staring you down.

“hm? always? we haven’t talked enough for you to call me that.”

“huhhhh no way. We totally have…. I asked you what the date was.. and.. you borrowed my eraser… WHICH YOU DIDNT GIVE BACK!”

he said, yelling the last part a little loud.

“THAT IS TOTALLY NOT ENOUGH INTERACTIONS!”

“YUHUH IT IS, YOURE REALLY NICE AND CONSIDERATE. ITS NOTICEABLE YOU KNOW.”

he huffed out.

“kind and considerate huh.. you were like that before. You were really loud in class, and you always helped everyone out. Now… you’re kinda just a shell of yourself. It’s weird.”

“weird? it’s not my fault! i have a lot going o-“

you cut him off, you really didn’t want to hear his whole pity speech.

“Oh my god, get in line. Everyone has a lot going on. You should be glad you do have things going on! some people never got to live long enough to experience things going on. You’re so lucky to have the life you have, to breath everyday, drink clean water, eat when you want, hang out with your friends! some people will never experience that. So stop pitying yourself. Things happen! life goes on, deal with it just stop being so fucking fake.”

Shinichiro was speechless for a bit, he just looked over at the school, staying silent. he spoke up after a bit.

“you know what… you’re so right (y/n)! i’m not enjoying being sad all the time. Thanks for the advice.”

“i didn’t think that would work, wow.”

“HUH WHAT DO YOU MEAN WOULDNT WORK?!”

“I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOURE MOOD WAS SERIOUSLY MESSING UP WITH EVERYONES IT WAS ANNOYING AS. SO GO BACK TO BEING ANNOYING SHINICHIRO.”

“FINE I WILL.”

With that he stormed off, leaving you to cool down by yourself again. later after lunch when you went back to class, you did see good old annoying shinichiro. Talking to all his friends, being super enthusiastic. It was nice. Everyone in class seemed to be having a good time. That was until the teacher came in.

After that, You and shinichiro grew closer. Hanging out almost everyday after school. one day when you two were 13 you were hanging out like any other day with a few other friends at the park. having your usual talk, until shinichiro brought up a crazy idea.

“guys let’s make a gang.”

various huhs came out of everyone.

“THINK ABOUT IT! ITS LIKE A CLUB, BUT COOLER! AND WE GET COOL HAIRCUTS AND UNIFORMS AND BIKES!!”

The black haired boy had stars in his eyes. while the others sweat dropped.

“Chiro… no offence but you’re weak as. Weak at fighting and weak to women.”

one of your friends said, bursting his bubble.

“AM NOT!”

“bro we played slaps the other day, and you started crying when you flinched, and not to mention you do everything (y/n) says. You’re like a puppy towards her.”

another friend chimed in too, crushing his ego even more.

“you know what. I believe in him!”

(y/n) declared to all their friends, also met with huhs

“think about it guys, Shinichiro is so charismatic it’s scary sometimes. He can gain the respect of gang members easily! so he’ll have tough guys to fight with him. And the jackets would be so cool.”

Everyone agreed with (y/n). Leaving the boy even more head over heels with the girl. not only was she pretty on the inside and the outside, she also believed in him. Shinichiro honestly could’ve cried tears of joy. but it wasn’t the time. Right now it was the time to make a gang.

From that day on, the black dragons was formed. the leader who was weak at fighting, and weak to women. Sometimes he would wonder what got him so lucky, to be surrounded by so many people who loved him. And every time he realises that they were there all along.

he just needed some advice from a beautiful girl to get him to realise.

a/n i wrote this in 40 minutes and i haven’t written in like 5 months so,,; sorry if it’s ass. i just felt like writing

#mikey x reader #sano x reader #tr x reader #tokoyo #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo manji gang #black dragons #tokyo revengers #shinichiro #shinichiro sano #shinichiro x reader #fluff #tokyo rev fluff

[that-salty-ghost]

As Above, So Below | Chapter 18 [Bonus Chpt]: Picked Apart [Viktor POV] | Viktor [Arcane] // Male Reader | Rating: M Throughout

A/N: So, this is more of a bonus chapter. I’m trying out Viktor’s POV(-ish) for this one since it’s just him and Sky. I honestly love them and wanted them to share some sort of comradery while they try to achieve the same goal. I was almost going to write this as a short drabble, but it actually fit into the story pretty well so this is where it landed. Hope you enjoy!

// 🎧 Mood Music: Casanova by San Fermin (for Sky <3) 🎧 \\

While lunch wasn’t exactly something he was craving, catching up with Sky was. How long had it been? Five years? Six now? Viktor had lost track of the last time the two of them actually got together to talk.

Sure, they’d run into each other in passing. Exchanged the usuals like “how’ve you been, any word on requirements for admissions” and the like.

Small talk.

But nothing like the handful of times they got to play together as kids—building forts out of whatever they could get their hands on or trying to catch frogs and other critters in the runoff. He wasn’t really sure how they had grown apart, or even that it was intentional at all.

When it came down to it, she already had a close group of friends before they met. And he was often off the grid, learning from his mentor while he helped take care of Rio…until he couldn’t anymore.

He never really did see things quite the same way after that. Maybe she noticed?

The memories grew more distant each day that passed. And while he still had a few stops to make for finding a lab space, Viktor wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to finally catch up with an old friend.

…even if that meant trying to consume more food after eating one of the biggest meals he’s had in years.

“You’ve barely touched your plate, are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

Sky’s attention to detail was always something Viktor admired. He was glad to see that hadn’t faltered after all these years, even if he now had to come up with an excuse since you took off without mentioning how much you cooked just over an hour ago… a coincidence he was sure…

“Yes, of course.” A breathy chuckle followed his words to lighten the mood as he reached for the bread in front of him. “But catch me up on how you’ve been. You look to be doing well.”

Viktor manages to take a bite and moves his fork around his plate to space the food out—an attempt to give the illusion that he’s consumed more than he actually has.

She eyes his plate suspiciously before answering. “I am! Everything’s been panning out for the most part. Just moved into my own place last year and have been an assistant at one of the labs topside a few days a week.”

“That’s great, I’m not surprised in the slightest.” Viktor’s voice was beaming with how genuinely impressed he was with her successes. His excitement and praise made it impossible for Sky to hide the smile etching its way onto her face. “Will you continue that work while you’re at Sylas’s?”

Her nose crinkled while she shrugged. “As much as I would like to, I just don’t think I’ll have the time anymore.”

“I would assume that commute isn’t the fastest.”

“It’s not. And the elevators aren’t always easy to access either.” Sky’s voice sounds strained, like this was a frequent occurrence that constantly plagued her punctuality and Viktor fails to keep his small chuckle to himself.

She chuckles back and he takes another bite of bread to cover up the sound.

“I’m serious! You wouldn’t believe how many apology coffees I’ve had to buy for the scientists up there.”

“Well, if you’re late to any of our progress check-ins—[Y/n] is a talented barista. He might be able to help.”

Sky’s expression shifted as she thought on that. This morning proved to be particularly taxing for her. She had been stressed about finding the right location to set up her temporary lab and thought she had found it. While the space was perfect, she still felt bad about Sylas going off the rails in front of her friend.

“That’s good to know…I didn’t take him for a barista.”

Viktor’s eyes move down to his plate, still picking around and moving the food under his fork. “I didn’t either…although technically he’s only a bartender now.” He flashed his teeth in an exaggerated grimace when he thought about Syd firing you at your own home. “But I have a feeling there’s more to him than he lets on.”

Sky’s eyebrow slowly raises at his hypothesis. “What do you mean?”

He inhales through his mouth when he looks up at Sky. As much as he knew he could confide in her, he gave his word that he wouldn’t talk about anything he learned the day she visited.

The first time she arrived, she came alone. Viktor’s parents asked him to go play while they talked and he was happy to find Sky skipping stones on the water outside. He loved watching how the rocks created more and more ripples as they traveled further and further out and was relieved that he didn’t have to be by himself that day.

“Hey Viktor!” Her smile was wide when she held her hand out for him to join.

“You’re really good at that.” He picked a rock up from her hand and tried to copy her technique, only to find himself disappointed when his stone sunk as soon as it hit the water.

“Here, like this.” She repositioned his hand so his palm faced up and handed off another stone. “Now try.”

That was all it took for the two of them to send stones into the distance together until Sky had to go back home. It was a small pocket of time that has stuck with him for years.

“What are you doing out here today anyway?” She asked before she turned to leave.

“There’s someone visiting my parents. I don’t think I’m supposed to hear what they’re saying.”

“…And you’re not going to spy on them?”

“…”

“Good luck!”

As much as it felt like a bad idea, Viktor’s parents never kept him away like that before. Whatever they were talking about had to be good. And even though he wished Sky could’ve come with him while he snooped, he thought he could at least fill her in on the conversation later…

Fast-forward to nearly 10 years later—even with her sitting right in front of him…he still couldn’t talk about it.  

He almost got lost in his thoughts and shook his head when he tried to answer Sky’s question—looking from her back down to his plate while he resorted to other curiosities he’s noticed.

“It’s hard to explain...”

“I can keep up.”

“Heh. Yes, I’m well aware of that.”

She doesn’t say anything, only raises her brows as she waits for him to go into more detail.

“The way he moves is…” He pursed his lips together tight enough to cause him to squint while he tried to explain his thoughts. “Very fluid. I’ve seen him jump over a couple of high-top bars and he barely makes a sound when he lands.”

He shrugs while he wondered if that’s just a quirk, but then looks up at the ceiling with a sigh. “And when I met him, he kind of…” He chuckles before finishing his sentence. “Ehh…fell into a scrap pile.”

“That sounds like a rough day.” She laughed, but Viktor looked even more baffled when he nodded.

“It should’ve been, but the way he sprung up looked like he’s had practice recovering quickly.” He shook his head, grappling with if what he was saying even made sense as he looked back down at his plate.

That’s when his mind started to wander.

From catching a glimpse of the muscles lining your arms while you were putting chairs up at The Last Drop to feeling how strong your chest and back were when he held you to keep you from falling over. Even how solid your forearm felt when he used it for some extra leverage at the coffeehouse…

It was night and day from what you looked like in your baggy clothes.

The illusion of you appearing smaller in your loose-fitting attire mirrored the deceitful amount of food picked apart on Viktor’s plate and he couldn’t help but wonder if that was also intentional on your part.

His mind had traveled a bit too far as he tried to shake away how you felt pressed up against him—the fear of color rising to his cheeks in front of Sky becoming all too real.

He tried not to think about how badly he wanted to kiss you—so much so that he even leaned in to see if you would meet him halfway, but refrained once you looked down and away so quickly.

“Did you just call me…Vik?” It was strange to hear—he’d never had a nickname before and almost missed it entirely after he found himself flush against your chest when you stumbled into him. This moniker sounded decidedly better than “two-ski brewski” from earlier and he couldn’t ignore how softly your breath lingered on the final consonant when you said it.

“Did I? I probably…forgot how to pronounce the rest of your name.”

Given the circumstances, he was dangerously close to being in a similar state.

The smell of alcohol mixed with smoke and some sort of earthy, herbal scent—which he later found out was tobacco—was completely intoxicating. The way your thumb leisurely rolled circles over his bruised hip had him tightening his grip around you with each small movement. The inability to trace whose heartbeat was whose as your chest rose against his own made him all but forget how to pronounce his own name as well.

“Two syllables got you tongue tied?”

You felt positively divine in his arms. His disheveled hair just barely feathering against your forehead, drifting lightly with each staggered breath. Your nose nearly brushed his when you looked up and he had to force his grip on the bar to loosen while his chest tightened. His eyes scanned yours, unsure of whether he should release his hold or pull you even closer.

…until he watched your gaze shift from his eyes down to his lips.

He felt his expression soften, his stomach drop, and his fingertips take the lead on the bar top as he leaned forward, wanting nothing more than to close the mere inches that kept your lips from his…until your gaze quickly dropped to the floor.

“Sorry for butchering your name.”

He wondered how he misread that situation. He wondered if you even noticed. He wondered if he had even been too bold holding your hand at The Last Drop…which only raised another query for him to voice.

“And his hands are so rough, I don’t think he can get callouses like that with a coffee mach—”

Viktor cut himself off once he brought his eyes down to face Sky. He got too lost in his analysis and slipped up. A knot formed in his chest when he anticipated what she was about to say as she moved her glasses back up the bridge of her nose.

“How do you know his hands are rough?” Her smirk ate through his thought process at a rate that made it difficult to sift for a reasonable explanation.

“I…was helping him repair a distiller.” He couldn’t look her in the if he wasn’t being completely honest. “I noticed when he handed me some…saddles.”

Sky’s eyebrows were both raised with disbelief while she nodded with a muted “Mmhm.”

“…”

“…”

Viktor shifts his gaze back to her and exhales slowly when he realizes that she wasn’t buying it. She saw right through him and he knew it.

“You look happy around him.” Her tone just barely betrays her, the slightest twinge of sadness striking her statement. She pretended to clear her throat to make it sound unintentional.

Viktor has been nothing but kind and supportive of all of her achievements, supporting him now was something she wanted to…no, needed to do. Both for him, and for herself if he was seeing someone.

It wasn’t a question, but he nods in response anyway. “I am.” A small grin tugs at his lips when he realizes that Landon said the same thing about you this morning when you and Remy were out back.

“Good. You deserve someone who makes you feel that way.” She meant every word. Even if it hurt that it wasn’t her that could do it, she was glad that he found someone who did.

                                                                        -

After saying their goodbyes, good lucks, and good to see you’s, Viktor played the conversation back in his head while he walked to the next potential space that he could set up for his work.

“S’pose I owe you my thanks young man.”

“For what?”

“You must be what’s got [Y/n] back in the kitchen here. I haven’t seen him smilin’ like that in years.”

“I’m not sure I follow…”

“That kid doesn’t cook for just anyone. Only does it for folks he cares about and he doesn’t let too many get that close to begin with.”

“You think he…cares about me?”

“Hah, the way he looks at you? I think it’s more than ‘care’ he’s feelin’.”

“How are you so sure?”

“I watched him grow up. Boy…what he done come from...ain’t right.” Landon shook his head but continued without adding more to that statement.“But he’s had to pick up quick—always knows exactly what he’s doin’, keeps his cards close to his chest, and could haggle with the devil himself if he wanted to…then you walk down here and I see him buckle for the first time in my life. Couldn’t even finish his damn sentence.”

—"Not another WORD about the FUCKING EGGS, Rem!”

“Speak of that devil. I didn’t say anything about any of this—including the spicy jam that you need to try, y’hear?”

“I hear.”

“Good lad. And you let me know when you come back so I can eat good again.”

Viktor managed a laugh before Landon pretended to tell him a story about you. He had no idea if it was even true or not, but admired how swift the man’s mind moved to fly under the radar regardless.

“—So we find the poor little fella stuck up in that tree all by his lonesome. Wouldn’t call for help from nobody for hours, just sat up there like gravity was going to give up at any moment…”

It was a quick conversation, maybe three minutes max. And while it didn’t settle his uncertainty about what happened last night, it did provide just enough information for him to take a chance on asking you out one more time and for him to learn two important things.

1. To his surprise, Landon was right about you.

2. He might be the one person that knows you better than you even know yourself.

----------

A/N: There's a pinned post on my page with even more homosexuality 😌

#viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #arcane viktor x reader #viktor arcane #arcane viktor #viktor #that salty ghost fic #as above so below fic

[fiercehildr]

Hi! I have 3 things if that’s okay!

Firstly, is it bothersome to ask why you stopped any ACOTAR blogging? Was it just to much toxicity? All good either way, still love you <3 I was just wondering. Pls ignore this if you want.

Secondly, what about ghost do you love? I love the art and such you’ve been posting even though I’ve never consumed any of that media lol

Thirdly, not a question but thanks for all the commissions you’ve posted! I love to see them (and I’m trying to read glow! It’s of course quite in demand at the library) k that’s all. Sorry to bother you!

Hi Nonnie! ♥️ Thanks for the ask! Sorry the answer might be long and trigger warnings: Traumatic events (second question)/A quick reference to s**cide (first question)

1- It’s fine, I can answer that no worries 🤗 What happened is that I realized the ACOTAR toxicity made my depression worse and constantly had me in a haze of anger as I could not really ignore everything going in that fandom, not with how deeply I was involved in it.

I was heavily bullied numerous times for liking a different fictional ship and I guess the last straw for me was when I was falsely accused of racism because of a commission of mine- never mind that the one thing they (-the usual suspects and bullies) complained about was the decision of the PoC artist I worked with and who they silenced or that their complaints actually highlighted how they automatically viewed a WoC serving tea as her being a slave.

I think we pretty much all knew that it was never our (the artist and mine) intent or that this drama was started with something else in mind. I even had numerous PoC in my asks and IG inbox telling me it was all good and that they couldn’t understand the issue at all. BUT… I was at a very low moment of my life, my mental health was extremely bad and I did a massive panic attack which was quickly followed by some pretty bad s**cidal thoughts where I almost did something really bad.

That’s when I decided to stop everything and after a 4 months long break from the internet and social medias, I came back but with not much love for ACOTAR anymore. I do not find joy in anything related to this fandom. My maximum is liking pretty arts from artists I like or friends and sometimes making games with the characters in my Insta stories. But I don’t even care about the characters anymore and I even feel a certain dislike for the author, for allowing us all to suffer this shitwar for the sake of her mental health. I know that, PERHAPS, the issue is more complicated than that from her side but I consider that my anger is justified anyway.

Will I come back at some point and rewrite posts and theories about the characters etc? Hopefully, but I’m fine in my little bubble right now. I’ll let the dogs eat their bones.

I hope I answer that first question for you and I’m sorry, I know it’s quite a long answer. 😅 I do love to hear you enjoyed my commissions! Always glad when I know they brought happiness to someone. ♥️

2- As for Ghost, funnily enough, he is not my favorite CoD character. I’d say he’s actually third on that list behind Soap and Price but he’s so aesthetically pleasing and makes for such beautiful art pieces! ♥️ I do appreciate his character though, mostly because I’m appreciative of his inner strenght. Now as you’re not familiar with the lore, to make it short, Ghost had a pretty horrible childhood, tortured by his father who was a notorious trash (like forced to kiss living snakes when he was terrified of them kind of stuff). Sadly, when he was in the army, he was also captured and tortured for month before finding his freedom again. Only to lose his mother, brother, sister-in-law and nephew to an atrocious murder. His past is basically the worst thing you could be imagining and if you’re interested in it, there is actually a comic about it you can find online. Do beware though, it’s pretty graphic.

So what I like is that even with that, he still remains level headed, tactical, and, to some extend, even kind. Seeing him develop a relationship with Soap and open up, even making jokes when he’s seen as this gigantic grumpy man, was actually a nice insight in who he really is! 🤗

Also watching plenty of tiktoks of him and Soap, even before I played the game (and I had never touched a CoD before!) helped me so much during my hard post acotar time.

There you go, I hope my answers was good enough and I do hope you get glow! If you do and read it, don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me! 🤗

#acotar #gwynriel #ghost #cod #ghoap #ask #tagging gwynriel as I know some might wonder

[xx-0doranjustwandering0-xx]

♡Lovely punishments♡

Dilucxjean fluff aftercare smut femdom dom!jean sub!Diluc pet names degrade&praise &teasing, spanking kink Lactation kink, abit of swearing ,DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

“Acting grand master? I have come across your commmission-“a young man with a deep voice echod through the acting grand master’s office

“Why hello diluc I suppose you have my wine,yes?”

“Mhm dandilon wine just like your usual Fresh and ready-“

As he stumbles upon her grace he tried to opened it for her “no need sweetheart” gently took it off his hand it was quite easy from his hand he was a bit shocked from her sweet response

His Eyes widespread so is Jean legs ”come on,sit”

He looked at her with disbelief and disgust!…yet he sat at her lap” such a good little boy,huh?” Shuffled his hair kissed his cheek ”such a good obedient little boy,I like that about you sweetheart” as she softly mumbled started making out with him the man who was serious cold-hearted…is really letting go and being someone’s little obedient bitch boy? He didn’t care lots of fluids were being passed on and!..

“oh?”

oh

“Jeez..few kisses had you all whiny…”

He whined for a bit about how”This is inappropriate!” What if Lisa needs a book?”she hushed and said “sweetie the door is locked.. and I have lots of toys for you..” followed with a grin

“Miss Jean…how are you so sure no one is gonne see us?..”

“Just kiss me you adorable little fox.”

He was taken by surprise “little fox”?

A small smirk had sprouted on his face they kissed for what felt an eternity…lovely eternity “ugh!- master Jean your so good…”

“Uh…sweetie when are you free th-ugh! You just feel so good!…when are you free this week- end…”

Diluc’s Cock is hurting and throbbing he can’t help but whine and cry “j-jean..” his head fell on her shoulder and started whining“sweetie if you don’t wanne do this it’s fine but there’s no need to cry…”

“n-No actually I wanna do this it’s just…”

“Just what baby..? Tell me about it”

Diluc is so horny he can’t help but become a dumb little boy “c’mon baby tell me..- ohhh I get it now.. get the horse out.”

“a-aright ma’am…” he unzips his pants Jean’s face light up more he unzipped his pants and god her Expectations were happy it was long veiny and thick and throbbing tears on the floor diluc is begging her to stroke it even touch it

“Then…beg for it or even better…Cry for it hm?” “mo-Jean please it hurts so bad..” in a whiny wimpy voice “how about…no?” “P-please Jean” “call me…mommy?””mommy please….I can’t take it anymore I’m begging you” “fine.. but I Am gonne spank ya after this you right?” “Okay….”

As she was stroking it he finally cumed he felt pleasure after his back was arched on jean’s desk as he was crying out of helplessness “awe baby…you can’t stroke yourself?…that’spathetic and cute”

She pulled him on her shoulder and started patting his back”awe poor baby..you hungry?”

“mhm..” he barely mumbled a word then Jean started unbuttoning Diluc was surprised yet he jumbed from enthusiastic…”oh I didn’t know this was apart of you’re little surprise “ awe baby..you know we have wine here why not drink it…you ARE big boy you shouldn’t be begging for my tits ya know?..unless??”” I mean let’s Try stuff we wouldn’t even guess can do or enjoy? Hm?…..please? just one suck please?..” as he was begging like a baby Jean made sure to enjoy it”hmm…sorry sweetie Remember our agreement?guess you gotta bend down..”what do you mea- oh..”fine just do a few and be easy on me..” as he got up and layed on her she opened her drawer and took out a long leather

Diluc’s eye wided again and asked nervously”s-so how many hits are you g-gonna do?”

“Awe is the little baby Scared? Just adorable anyways I was thinking about maybe…30?”

“What?! Are you nuts?”baby I was justing joking a good 5 hits are gonne adjust your Naughty little attitude towards to the Kights…playing mean pranks on them that’s not nice now is it diluc?” He stayed quiet how did she find out? “why do you think it’s me?”…admit Diluc…you need smth called “an attitude adjuster” know?”please let’s do this I wanna suck dem tits anyway!”okay big guy but I’m just gonne go easy on ya okay?”

“SLAP one” Diluc thoughts were” good god! I love this so goddamn much the women of my desires is finally spanking me…”

“SLAP two:” just thinking of her tits make me hungry just making me cry like a little boy…”

“SLAP three:”man I REALLY need to be less Obvious…having her spank me…a win is a win after all beggers can’t be choosers anyway”

“SLAP four:” damn can she spank! It’s gonne be hard to sit after this session that’s for sure!”

“SLAP five:”phew! We are some time for sucking baby!”

He adjusted himself and sat on her lap like a good little bitch he is”awe baby did you enjoy that?,I do have some free time later I can slap your ass later…if you want of course!”

“Nah I’m gonna be fine later..but how about I suck them tits now?”well…an agreement is an agreement so…get ready baby boy..” she started removing her bra showing one Titty…and boy was he happy!…As she held his little head and he started sucking he was a happy little bitch…Jean started to rock back and forth humming little like she’s breastfeeding an actually newborn…Nonetheless both got what they wanted and desired for a long time…..

That’s the end thank you for reading!

#diluc x jean #fanfic #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #submisive and breedable #dead dove do not eat #cw.breastfeeding + lactating

[putschki1969]

2022/08/10 Blog post by Wakana  特訓と修行〜甘いものへの道〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Special Training and Practice〜The Road to Sweet Things〜

I don't usually have that much of a desire to eat sweet things, so I tend to not have a lot of those at home. The one exception is ice cream, I will always buy a giant cone ← That’s pretty sweet I would say. However, there are times when I am craving stuff like chocolate or baked pudding. When I go shopping, I never forget to buy salty things (snacks, nuts, cheese, etc.), but I always forget to buy sweet things. After a series of such failures, I finally remembered to get something the other day, "oh yes, just in case, let's buy something sweet!" I bought shaved ice, some red bean soup with mochi and frozen chocolate fondant...But surprisingly, every since I bought all those things, I haven’t been craving anything sweet. Is it because now I actually have something at home so so it’s no longer appealing? The refrigerated red bean soup with mochi was getting closer and closer to its expiration date, so I decided to eat it with coffee in the morning. Alas, I couldn't finish it. When you have to struggle to finish, it really doesn’t feel like an indulgence anymore, right? 

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣▽￣0)／

I'm a little worried because I can't eat a lot of sweets all at once. I'm planning to go out with my friend and order a big portion of shaved ice but last time I had shaved ice during one of my rehearsals, I could only eat a third of it. Eating this much requires special training and a lot of practice 🤨Mmmm. 

Well, lately I've been preparing for next month's Billboard Lives so I haven’t really been going out much\\\\٩( 'ω' )و //// That’s not to say that I am not moving or exercising at all due to summer fatigue, I am in fact doing some light exercises. Well, for the most part I am just walking around at home. I am moving and working out but sometimes I'm literally stuck at home for 5 days straight.  Overall I'm doing fine though. 

When you take a bus or train for the first time in a long time, you should ideally feel relaxed and calm but I always suffer from pretty bad motion sickness. Why does this happen when you ride public transportation for the first time in a while? I particularly struggle with subways since I can’t see the scenery outside. Then again, I get motion sickness on the shinkansen too despite the scenery. Maybe because the scenery is flying by and that’s making my eyes tired or something like that? It's not like I follow everything with my eyes. I try to look into the distance. Maybe I'm just not good with all the shaking. I always get motion sickness when I take the limited express train, that train goes so fast that I have to wonder if it is on a path for revenge. It often sways sideways, it’s crazy. It happens every time, so I try my best to prepare myself for it but I still struggle quite a bit.

These days when I go out, I try to do my errands in the morning or in the evening, basically I try to go out at a time when the heat of the day is still bearable. I really admire people who work outside during the day...Please be careful of sun-strokes and heat-strokes 🥺 

A few days ago, when I went out for the first time in a long time to meet up with my manager, there was a pretty big thunderstorm so it got pretty cold. I much preferred it to the humid heat so I was quite happy. And miraculously, the rain stopped while I was outside. Once I got home though, it started raining heavily again. Thank God!

Oh well, this has been my life recently(´ω｀) Everyone, please take care of yourself and have a great summer! Until next time ☆( *'▽'*)/

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