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reyesstrand · 8 months

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fic stats meme

thanks for the tag @rmd-writes & @chaotictarlos (edit: & @welcometololaland who’s tag i saw moments after posting ajdnsjd) <3

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words. (i’m going to be excluding prompt collections here, and only doing lone star works! )

most hits: lit the spark (that set a fire) (tarlos)

It's Judd who explains it to them; that before the accident and before the station was rebuilt from the ground up, the 126 had a long-standing, friendly rivalry with Ladder 102. Their golden boy, Carlos Reyes, well—he kind of knocks TK off his feet.

second most kudos: wanna be still with you (tarlos)

He's too focused on keeping himself upright, feeling woozy from the exertion, that there's a sort of hazy quality to everything around him. TK hears his name being called, and he's—he's certain it's his mind playing tricks on him; he has to be in some dreamlike state where Carlos has found them. But then he feels hands on him—big, sturdy, warm hands he would recognize blindfolded—and he turns his head and sees worried brown eyes and he just about crumbles.

Thankfully, he has Carlos there to catch him.

third most comments: tried and true blue (owen & tk/tarlos)

"She knows," Owen says, his eyes almost too sincere for TK to handle. He clamps his molars together and just stares at his father, because if he lets himself think too hard about all the ways his mom is still here, somehow, he'll probably burst into tears. Owen gives him a sad smile. "She does, TK. She used to talk about when you'd get married all the time."

There's a pause, and TK curls his fingers tighter around his mug, letting everything simmer between them.

"When I got married," TK quietly repeats. "Not if?"

fourth most bookmarks: to be reborn (tarlos)

In a flurry of movement, TK wakes up. TK tells him, voice soft and rough around the edges: "Breathe." And at that moment, Carlos knows the rest can wait.

fifth most words: to which there is no reply (tarlos)

Everything about TK makes him forget. But then it all comes back to him slowly, not unlike a spark to kindling, leaving Carlos swallowing down his grief like the fire it is—trying to consume it all by himself so he’s the only one who feels the burn.

He glances out the half-open window, and sees the white dots of birds drifting on the low tide, and he wonders how he’s supposed to leave it all. The salty air, the pleasant sun, the way TK walks without a line of tension in his shoulders. He knows they’ve transcended all different sorts of honeymoon phases since they gave their relationship a real go a few years ago; he knows that they’ll still be them once Owen picks them up from Austin-Bergstrom and they go home to the loft and work and responsibilities and Lou II. But he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to go back to a life without his father.

fic with the least words: hold on to me (nancy/marjan)

She tries to keep herself focused on tiny tasks as she prepares to go home; the shower had been blissful, but now she longs for her own bed. Cap had told them they’d be able to take a few days off to grieve, and so she grabs the dog-eared paperback Carlos leant her a week or two ago and her headphones from her bunk and stuffs it all into her bag, approaching the stairs as she goes. It’s then that Marjan hears it, tiny but distinctive in the quiet firehouse: a thud, followed by the sound of frustrated cries, all suspiciously coming from the ambulance bay.

Marjan moves quickly, maneuvering deftly around workbenches and supplies in the bay, biting on the inside of her cheek when she sees the source of the noise: Nancy, hunched over in front of Tim’s locker, staring down at the box of his belongings that’s tipped over onto its side.

no pressure tagging @paperstorm @theghostofashton @freneticfloetry @alrightbuckaroo @carlos-in-glasses @rosedavid @heartstringsduet @beautifulhigh @marjansmarwani @terramous @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut and anybody else who’d like to try this out! <3

#tag games #my fic

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chicgeekgirl89 · 10 months

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Day Zero

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: T.K. Strand, Carlos Reyes, Gabriel Reyes, Owen Strand

Rating: T

CW: Non-consensual drug use, mentions of addiction

Summary: After a lifetime of struggle, T.K. is finally clean. He's living with the love of his life, has found a family at the 126, and is creating a future he never thought he could have. Having his sobriety stolen away again wasn't part of the plan. A follow up to the events of 3x12 “Negative Space.”

A/N: I wrote this directly after 3x12 aired and then never posted it because it's such a sensitive topic. I'm hopeful I've done T.K.'s addiction and sobriety and the struggle he might have after the events of the episode justice.

Read on AO3

T.K. is high. He’s floating, drifting, his mind blissfully unaware of anything resembling reality. He knows he’s high, he’s been high so many times that the feeling of it is as familiar to him as breathing.

It should feel good. This is something he craves, not as constantly as he once did, but it’s always there, a sleeping beast, dormant inside him. Waiting. Always waiting. And now he’s finally gotten it again.

But something eats around the edges of the haze, something sharp, fearful. This is wrong. He doesn’t want to be high. He doesn’t want…how did he…what’s…?

He forces his eyes open, the room around him a swirl of confusing colors. He can hear someone yelling, something heavy falling nearby. It takes him far too long to realize he’s on the floor in his bedroom, the carpet under his cheek familiar. Carlos had been eyeing it at Pottery Barn for months even before he bought the loft.

Carlos.

Something warm is pressed up against T.K.’s leg and he slowly turns his head to find his boyfriend’s body splayed out on the floor next to him, eyes closed, form horribly still.

“Carlos,” T.K. croaks, fear and panic combating the effects of the drugs that are swirling through his system.

There’s more yelling close by but T.K. can’t make out what’s being said. His mind is only capable of one thing at a time right now and even focusing on that is difficult. He tries to sit up, but his muscles feel like jello, so he drags himself across the floor, trying to get close enough to check on his boyfriend, fingers reaching out, still too far to do any good.

“Carlos!”

A familiar voice calls his name this time, and seconds later Gabriel Reyes appears, dropping to his knees, his hands going to Carlos’ face. For one horrible, terrible, god awful, heart stopping moment, Carlos doesn’t move and T.K. thinks he’s dead. Really and truly dead and gone.

But then he lets out a moan and sucks in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling and T.K. feels such crashing relief surge through him that he nearly passes out again.

Gabriel turns and puts a hand on his shoulder. “T.K., are you with me?”

T.K. tries to make his mouth cooperate but his tongue too large, and the words in his mind feel like they’re slipping in and out of focus. Gabriel pulls him up into a sitting position, leaning him against the foot of the bed. “Strand! I could use some help in here!” he calls.

“Hang on!” T.K. hears his dad’s voice respond from the other room. “Marjan’s bleeding pretty bad, looks like she’s been stabbed.”

Marjan is here? T.K. is so confused, desperately trying to stay focused, to not let the darkness drag him under again. And if Marjan is bleeding he should help.

“Whoa, whoa, you stay right here.” Gabriel puts a hand against his chest and T.K. realizes that he tried to get up, although he didn’t make it very far since none of his extremities seem to be working well right now.

Gabriel has gotten Carlos sitting up and is propping him next to T.K., his eyes glassy and vacant, but open, awake, alive. Gabriel holds him up with one hand while he holds his cellphone with the other, talking rapidly to someone about multiple ambulances and backup.

T.K. can hear Marjan now, she sounds furious, and he can see Sadie, sprawled on the floor like the rest of them, but his brain still can’t piece together what’s happened, how they’ve all ended up like this. Things are fuzzy, muddled, like he should be able to understand what’s going on, but he can’t quite…

“What happened?” He finally manages to get the question past his lips, eyes sluggishly searching Gabriel’s for some kind of answer.

Gabriel is still focused on Carlos who is having a difficult time keeping his eyes open. “It was Sadie,” Gabriel says, his voice tight. “She burned down the gallery, blew up Gordon’s car, she did all of it.”

Sadie. Sadie did this? Sadie who’s been in their home for the last three hours? Sadie has been the one causing trouble. Sadie…

His dad crouches in front of him, concern all over his face. “Hey buddy, how you doing?”

“Dad,” T.K. looks at him, dread starting at the base of his spine and creeping rapidly up to his neck. “Did Sadie…did she…?”

“She drugged you. Both of you. It was in the soup. T.K. I’m so sorry,” his dad says, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“The drugs, was it—?“

“Oxy,” Owen tells him gently.

Oh. Yeah. That makes sense.

There’s a yell, Sadie’s voice and then Marjan lets out a few choice expletives. “I’ll be right back,” Owen promises and T.K. nods. There’s nothing he can do anyway. There’s nothing anyone can do. They just have to wait until the high wears off.

“Carlos do not go to sleep,” Gabriel says sharply and T.K. looks over to see his boyfriend’s head lolling to the side, eyes drooping as Gabriel forces him to stay upright.

“Sorry,” Carlos mumbles, eyelids fluttering. “Tired.”

“I know, but you have to stay awake, all right?” Gabriel looks up at someone else. “Can you get them some water?”

T.K.’s eyes follow Gabriel’s and he finds Catherine stepping out of the room to do as the major has asked. T.K. has no idea when she got here. He has no idea about a lot of things right now.

He’s not interested in the water she hands him, but Gabriel urges both of them to drink. T.K. manages one sip and then just holds it in his hands, feeling the coolness of it through the glass. Carlos does a little better, getting down a third of the glass under his father’s watchful gaze. He’s sitting up under his own power now, but he’s still listless and looks like he could topple over at any second. T.K. hates it.

He wishes he could do something, wishes he could reach out and hold Carlos’ hand or rub his back or kiss his temple, anything to bring him comfort, but he can feel himself slowly sobering up and with every passing second reality sits heavier and heavier on his shoulders.

Everything he’s worked for. Every meeting, every chip, every night he’s chosen to go home instead of going out to score…it’s all gone. Erased. Like it never even happened. He’s back to square one. Zero days of sobriety.

This is a part of him he has never wanted Carlos to see. Carlos who always believes the best of him, Carlos who has no idea how truly deep and dark T.K.’s past is. Carlos who has only ever been T.K.’s fresh start, who is now dragged down into the muck and mire right along with him.

“I think…I think I’m going to be sick.”

He looks up to find Carlos a shade paler than he already was, eyes glassy, a greenish tinge to his skin.

Someone runs to the kitchen and returns with a large bowl they usually use for salads and popcorn, but will probably never use again, the memories of tonight now marking its surface in place of the geometric pattern on its sides.

Carlos retches, his stomach emptying, and T.K. sits frozen, letting everyone else help. He should be the one rubbing Carlos’ back, he should be the one telling him it will be okay. But he can’t. He can’t do anything other than sit in a growing sense of shame and guilt.

Paramedics arrive, thankfully no one T.K. is familiar with. They ask questions and T.K. and Carlos answer in monotone. Naloxone isn’t necessary since they’re both awake and alert, and when saline is offered T.K. refuses, he doesn’t want anything else being put in his body tonight. He does manage to come out of his miserable haze long enough to insist Carlos accepts. If nothing else at least Carlos will be hydrated as he comes down; hopefully it will help to lessen the inevitable headache and malaise he’s going to feel.

They’re transported to the hospital, doctors prodding and poking, asking questions, a familiar rhythm that makes T.K. sick to his stomach. The doctors and nurses know what happened, they're being sympathetic, but it’s too much. The dance is too familiar and it makes him want to crawl out of his own skin.

He lies on a gurney, staring at the hospital ceiling as his emotions war inside of him. He wants the high to wear off, he wants it gone now. But there’s a part of him that is desperately holding onto it, that wants the numbness and the disassociation, and the bliss of being free from the nightmare he’s living. This part of him, the starving beast that he’s beaten back into submission again and again, rears it’s ugly head and screams that it’s not worth it. That he’s not worth it. That he did everything right, got himself clean and it still doesn’t matter, because here he is again, right back where he started.

He’s an addict.

No matter how much work he does, it’s all he’ll ever be.

In the midst of being treated some detectives arrive to talk to them, their dads, Marjan. His own version of the story is short. Sadie was there when he got back from getting groceries. He felt hot, kind of off, and the next thing he knew he was staring at Carlos on the floor. No one asks him why he, an addict, didn’t recognize what he was feeling. But they should. They should tell him he’s an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. That if he’d realized what was going on, both of them might have been spared at least some part of this nightmare.

Carlos’ version of the story is far more painful. “I saw her on the footage,” he says, his words still slow and labored, as if he’s having trouble getting them out, but he pushes on determinedly. “We talked, I asked her why she did it, and she said it was for Owen. Then I realized T.K. had been gone for too long. But when I got up,” he swallows hard, “I couldn’t keep my balance. I saw T.K. on the floor…”

Carlos turns and looks at him with tears in his eyes. “I should have realized. I should have known it was her. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” T.K. says. The words don’t sound soothing, even though he means them to be. He simply can’t muster up the energy to be Carlos’ emotional support right now. Yet another thing to feel guilty about.

They get home around three o’clock in the morning and collapse into bed. Carlos falls asleep with his head pillowed on T.K.’s chest, one of T.K.’s arms wrapped around him, a sign of how vulnerable he feels since usually T.K. is the one curled up into Carlos.

T.K. doesn’t sleep. He lies there wallowing, his mind turning over and over, fighting with the rage and grief and failure that threaten to eat him alive and take his relationship along with it.

Carlos shudders and T.K. rubs his arm until he settles. He’s struggling. Maybe not as much as T.K., but he was still assaulted against his will in their home for the second time in less than a year. T.K. knows he feels violated and guilty, even if the guilt is unfounded. The only person who should feel any guilt is Sadie. And maybe his father for dragging death onto their doorstep yet again.

T.K. watches the clock tick past four, past five. When it says six am he slips from Carlos’ hold and takes the longest, hottest shower of his life before wandering into the kitchen and brewing some extra strength coffee.

He doesn’t feel great, but it’s nothing he hasn’t felt before. The mild nausea, the pounding headache, the heaviness in his limbs, it’s all to be expected. So are the guilt and shame and perseverating thoughts whirling through his mind. The beast inside him is awake, hungering for another taste, even though he’s barely come down off the last one. But he’s used to that too. He’s telling it to shut up and it’s working for now.

If only he could be sure it will last this time.

“T.K.?”

The groggy, pained call moves him toward the bedroom. “I’m here,” he says as he walks quickly through the doorway so Carlos can see him. His boyfriend has been through enough, he doesn’t need to wake up panicking that T.K. has disappeared on a bender. “How are you feeling?”

“My head is pounding,” Carlos winces and squints against the light coming through the curtains as he pushes himself slowly into a seated position. “How are you?”

“I’m okay,” T.K. says. “Do you want some coffee? Or I can make tea?”

“You don’t need to take care of me,” Carlos tells him.

“I don’t mind,” T.K. says. It gives him something to do, something to focus on for a moment. “Tea?”

Carlos nods an affirmative and T.K. puts it together in short order along with some toast, and some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet.

“Thanks,” Carlos says as T.K. sets it all on the nightstand.

“You’re welcome.”

T.K. moves to the wardrobe and pulls out his uniform. “What are you doing?” Carlos asks.

T.K. hangs it on the wardrobe’s doorknob and moves to the dresser for clean underwear and socks. “Going to work.”

“You’re not staying home? I figured, after last night…”

T.K. takes a breath, tries not to let all the feelings battling inside him rear up and burst out of his mouth. Carlos doesn’t deserve that. “I need to go to work today,” is all he can say.

“Okay.”

The word sounds confused, maybe a little hurt. And it hurts T.K. to know he’s the cause of any of Carlos’ pain right now. But he has to go to work. If he stays here…if he stays here he’s going to fall apart.

He pastes on what he hopes is a passably pleasant look. “I’ll be home by five. And I’ll keep my phone on if you need me.”

“T.K., maybe we should—“

“I can’t, Carlos.” The words are razor sharp and he feels brittle as he says them. “I…we’ll talk. We will. Later. I promise.”

He grabs his work bag and pauses long enough to press a kiss to Carlos’ forehead. “Rest today. I’ll be home in a few hours. I promise.” He looks into Carlos’ eyes, reminding himself that he’s no good to Carlos if he doesn’t take care of himself first, even if it hurts to do it. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The moment he steps out the door he can feel his mind starting to clear. He’s going to have to deal with all of this eventually. But right now, there’s work to be done.

#Tarlos #911 Lone Star #911lsfic #Tarlos Fic #T.K. Strand #Carlos Reyes #3x12 Negative Space Coda #T.K. Strand Whump #Carlos Reyes Whump

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sugdenlovesdingle · 1 year

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Loved (AO3)

Everybody Loves Carlos Reyes

Written for @tarlosweeklyprompts word of the day: Fond

---

“Hey Carlos, TK is in the shower, he got puked on.” Nancy greeted Carlos when he walked into the firehouse. “How are you?”

“Bored at home mostly. My medical leave is almost over though thankfully. Back to work on Monday.”

“Ah so that’s why TK is all...” she made flapping motions with her hands and Carlos laughed.

“Yeah, pretty much. So I’m coming to check in and show him I’m ok. And just hang out until the end of shift so we can leave together to have dinner with my parents.”

He leaned against the open ambulance doors.

“You’ve been summoned by the momster huh?”

“Oh yes. It’s either us going over there or her being at our place every waking moment. This is the lesser of two evils I suppose.”

“I don’t know dude, a homecooked meal and no dishes? Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.”

“Yeah but between my mother and TK, I’ll barely be allowed to lift a fork.”

“Again, I don’t see the downside.”

At that moment the alarm sounded and Nancy groaned when it was a medical call.

“We’ve been getting non-stop calls today. It’s like everyone in Austin needs medical assistance at the same time.” She jumped out of the back of the ambulance to make room for Tommy who was already coming down the stairs, closely followed by TK, fresh out of the shower.

His uniform shirt was hanging open, his hair was still wet, and he had his shoes in his hand.

“Hi baby, bye baby.” He quickly kissed Carlos in passing before jumping in the passenger’s seat. “We’ll be back soon! Paul is upstairs!”

“What does he need Paul for?” Carlos heard Nancy ask right before she turned the lights and sirens on and pulled out of the firehouse.

He knew what TK’s reply would be, and he had a feeling he knew what Tommy would be dealing with the rest of the shift. He made his way upstairs where he found the fire crew in the lounge area.

“Hey, look who it is! Good to see you upright, buddy.” Marjan noticed him first and got up from her seat to give him a hug. “You scared us when you disappeared like that!”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve had to promise both my parents and TK not to go on investigations on my own again. And Iris called me an idiot.”

“Can’t say I disagree with the lady.” Paul commented, putting his book down. “But I’m with Marj, it’s good to see you man.”

Carlos nodded and sat down next to Paul.

“I know I scared everyone, especially TK. He keeps checking my pulse and we both pretend I don’t know what he’s doing.”

“That’s because you died dude.” Mateo said then paused to think. “Did you see the light at the end of the tunnel?”

“That is not a thing, Mateo.” Paul cut in. “That only happens on tv.”

“And how do you know? You had a heart attack, you didn’t die like Carlos.”

“I didn’t see anything actually.” Carlos said, deciding to humour Mateo. “All I remember is the needle prick in my shoulder… and then everything went dark. And when I woke up there were TK and my dad… and I was confused and disorientated mostly. So no lights.”

“See? Only on tv.”

“Did you see a light at the end of the tunnel when your car went off the bridge, Judd?” Mateo asked Judd who had just walked in.

He stopped in the doorway and looked at the four of them, before raising his hand and giving Carlos a half wave and turning around to go back to where he came from.

“Ok can we just change the subject? Surely we can find something less deadly to talk about?” Marjan interrupted. “Like the wedding! How is the wedding planning going Carlos? Let’s talk flower arrangements.”

“It’s going alright.” Carlos said, happy to go along with the subject change. “We’ve been looking at suits the past few days, we’re thinking of getting the same so we match. Because we’re spending the rest of our lives together. You know, us coming together as one.” He scrunched up his face. “It sounds so cheesy when said aloud like this.”

“No, I think it’s sweet. And you guys should totally do whatever feels right to you. It’s your wedding after all.”

“Yeah, she’s right.” Paul agreed. “Matching suits, traditional vows, you promising to love, honour, and obey TK, first dance to a Coldplay song.” He continued, doing his best to keep a straight face.

“Ok now I know you’re mocking me.” Carlos laughed. “It’s all still a work in progress, ok? We’ve got 8 weeks to figure it out.”

“Yeah but you have to plan everything before that. When my cousin got married they spent two years planning it.” Mateo told them. “My mom and my tía went crazy. They made the dresses themselves but then my cousin got pregnant and they had to change it so she would still fit in it.”

“I don’t think that’s something TK and Carlos will have to worry about.” Marjan said and they all laughed.

“No, but you’re right. It’s a lot of stuff to take care of in under 8 weeks.”

“Well if you need any help, just say the word.” Paul offered.

“Thanks. That’s actually why I’m here.” Carlos started and all three of his friends gave him a questioning look. “I wanted to ask you something.” He turned to Paul. “You specifically.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

“Ok. Shoot.”

“Well… like I said, we’re busy working out the details for the wedding… And I was hoping you would be my best man.”

“What? Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want your dad or a relative or something?”

“No, I want you to be my best man. You’re one of my best friends, man.”

“I… I’m honoured.”

“So you’ll do it?”

“Yeah, of course! I mean I wasn’t expecting it at all, but if you’re sure then I’d be honoured to be your best man.” Paul said and Carlos pulled him in for a hug. “But this doesn’t mean I have to go suit shopping with you, right?”

“No, just show up on the day wearing something nice and you’re good.” Carlos laughed.

“Who is TK asking?” Marjan wondered. “His dad?”

“He was one of the options that came up.” Carlos told her. “But he decided on someone else.”

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of two pairs of boots coming up the stairs.

“Why are you being so secretive?” they heard Nancy say.

“I’m not, I’m just waiting for the right time.”

“The right time for what?”

“Hey baby.” TK ignored her and went straight to Carlos to kiss him hello.

Nobody mentioned the fact that his fingers lingered on Carlos’ pulse point a little too long.

“Hey. You’re back soon. Quick call?”

“Yeah, just a fender bender. Some scrapes and cuts, nothing major. We treated everyone on scene and let PD deal with the rest.” He sat down next to Carlos. “So… what did we miss here?”

“I got my best man.”

“Oh you said yes?” TK leaned forward to look past Carlos to Paul.

“Of course. I can’t let the world miss out on seeing me in a suit.” He joked.

“You know you’re not supposed to look prettier than the groom, right?” Carlos cut in.

“Pretty sure that’s only for brides. And since there’s none of those involved, I’m good.”

They all laughed and Carlos put his hand on TK’s knee and gave it a squeeze.

“Your turn now, babe.” He said softly and TK nodded.

“Hey Nance, do you own a nice suit?”

“A suit? What do I need a suit – oh my god!”

TK grinned and got up from his seat and got down on one knee in front of her.

“Nancy Gillian, you are the sister I never thought I wanted, and sometimes still don’t.” He joked. “But I would be honoured if you would be my best man. Woman. Person.”

“Of course!” Nancy replied and dragged TK up from the floor and hugged him. “But I’m not wearing a suit. You wouldn’t be able to handle the hotness that is me in a suit.”

“You can wear whatever you like.” TK assured her. “You too Paul.”

“Appreciated.”

“No, no, Paul, we have to match.” Nancy insisted. “What are you wearing?”

TK sat back down next to Carlos and looped an arm through his, resting his fingers on the inside of his wrist.

“I think I’ve created a monster.” He whispered and Carlos laughed.

He looked around the room and just felt a sense of happiness and belonging. Before he’d met TK, he had friends, colleagues, acquaintances. People he’d talk to at work, people he’d even take up on their offer of after work drinks, he’d even been invited to a birthday party or two, but no-one apart from Iris who really knew him. Who just got him.

Now he had a fiancé he loved more than he’d ever thought possible, and a group of friends who were like family.

“What are you thinking about?” TK asked, noticing the smile on his fiancé’s face.

“Nothing.” Carlos replied and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Just happy.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #tarlos fic #twpmarchdailyword #tk strand #carlos reyes

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vineofroses · 6 months

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WIP Wednesday Thursday

thanks for the tags @thisbuildinghasfeelings @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @carlos-in-glasses and @inkweedandlizards !!

more of my Carlos on Instagram Live fic. direct continuation from the last snippet i posted.

She pauses, the front door of his loft halfway open. She has one foot out the door. “What, Carlos?”

He gestures to her phone in his hand. “I don’t know what to do with this!”

“Just talk to them,” she shrugs, like talking to 30,000+ people is a normal thing for him to do. He can barely talk to his husband’s father without stumbling over his words and formalities. What the hell is he supposed to do with a bunch of strangers on the phone? “I don’t know, Carlos. Introduce them to everyone.”

Then she’s gone, the door closing behind her with a thud that tolls the end of days. Well, at least the end of their friendship. Carlos looks around the loft. It’s mostly empty; Tommy, Grace, and Judd are there but their social media knowledge is worse than his.

Who he really needs is TK. The last he heard from him he was stuck in line at the grocery store. He had told him they didn't need any more snacks. “But it’s your birthday, Carlos. We need all the snacks! Actually, it’s not just your birthday, it’s your 30th birthday — we need all the snacks we can get.”

So TK had left, unknowingly dooming his husband to a fate worse than kidnapping and torture. Carlos swallowed, his throat going dry. He turned Marjan’s phone over only to be greeted by his own confused and worried face. God, what is he doing?

The walls of text kept flying by. He squinted, trying to grab onto something, anything to not look at his face and worry about what he looked like in front of thousands of strangers.

But the comments didn’t make any sense.

@ fireinthehole: guys its carlos!!!!

@ number one swiftie: ohh maa god he’s even more gorgeous up close

@ firefoxmarryme: i can’t believe carlos is gracing us with his presence!! We’ve won!!!

“Oh, do you guys know who I am?”

To his surprise, responses came fast.

@ ghost heart: sure do!

@ asmrwhore: oh babe, we’ve known who you are!!

@ fireinthehole: do you not follow firefox on instagram? Lollll guys he doesn’t know!

since im late im not gonna tag anyone but i did want to possibly request a beta reader? idk how to get one of those but for my longer fics i would like someone to read over them for feedback purposes. nothing's finished but throwing it out there.

#911 lone star #carlos reyes #wip wednesday

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sapphire11 · 1 year

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all the words you didn't mean for me to hear

Part 2 of 'Secret Messages' a Break up era Tarlos fic Read Part 1 Here

Hello Again Everyone! Still posting this fic in 'mini' parts here on tumblr before releasing the whole thing on ao3. (still mostly because I need some encouragement and validation despite not feeling ready to publish it yet there and you all have always been supportive) Think of this as a little gift for being wonderful followers/mutuals 💛

Counting this as my Seven Sentence Sunday (Sneak Peak Sunday in my world) Thanks so much for the tags @ramblingdisaster73 & @ravens-words

Thank you to everyone who reached out with encouragement and kind words on the last part! (let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic or my Tarlos fics) @chaotictarlos @firstprince-history-huh @bubblesandroses8

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes in his mind as he shoves open the door to the stairwell.

We could lose him.

His own voice is too loud in his head. Drowning out all others. Nancy’s reassurances, Captain Vega’s attempts at hopeful optimism. They’re all lost in the terror that grips him by the throat.

We could lose him.

His own voice shaking with fear that he doesn’t want to feel anymore. He needs to feel something else. Anything else. So he collapses on the top step of the stairs and roughly pulls out TK’s phone, headphones coming with it.

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes and he needs to drown it out with another.

Hey babe … shit. Let me just …. *background noises, buttons being pressed rustling …

Hey Carlos.

He turns and settles his back against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest, closing his eyes and allowing TK’s voice to block out everything else.

How are you? I hope you’re doing okay. Nancy let me know that she’s still in touch. I’m glad; even if I think she only told me because she’s trying to get more information out of me about why we … well about what happened.

I hope that you are letting our friends be there for you. They’ve been trying to be there for me. Even as scattered as we all are at work. Paul still texts. Marjan sends me funny memes. Mateo begs for Marvel movie nights every time we have a night off together. It’s not the same, but it’s something. Plus, Doctor Matterson has been telling me to lean into those friendships; to that support. It helps. Sometimes.

On one hand it is worrisome that TK is so freely admitting that he’s struggling in these messages. On the other hand, he is grateful that TK still in some way was turning towards him, trusting him with the truth of his feelings. Of course he wishes that he’s trusted him at the time, but he knows how much it must have cost TK to admit this even in a message. He knows how even saying the words out loud can feel like you are giving them power over you.

At the same time, he thinks about the way he pushed everyone away during the breakup. He didn’t want them to have to choose, he wanted TK to be able to vent and have people that were safe, away from Carlos, as TK seemed to want to keep them apart. He should have had more faith in his ex, in TK, in person he has always known him to be. Of course he’d want Carlos to have the same support, and of course he wouldn’t tell them anything.

Other times it honestly just makes me miss you more. But I’m trying and I hope that counts for something.

It counts for everything, because if only in this hollow, cold, hospital stairwell, Carlos can admit that he didn’t try. He just gave up. Let the anger build inside him until there was nothing left to do, but to pretend to forget. To pretend to move on.

Just wanted you to know that I’ll be okay. That you don’t have to worry, because I know you. I want you to be okay too, so take care of yourself Carlos. Let our friends be there for you; it’s the least you deserve.

It’s the least you deserve

Those words burn into his mind, like the flash of light when you look directly at the sun. They’re all he can hear for a long time.

He knows that TK left this message months ago. That he was alluding to the fact that Carlos doesn’t deserve to deal with what TK would call his ‘fucked up brain and mess’. But listening to this message now, it almost feels prophetic. It is as if TK is telling him that there is no other choice, but to lean on their friends.

If the worst comes to pass and TK doesn’t come back to him, he’ll try to take care of himself, for no other reason than because TK asked him to. Asked him in some stupid message recorded months ago in the middle of a communication drought, but it feels important. Moreover, it feels like the truth. TK asked him to take care of himself and now there might be no other options.

TK’s wisdom about leaning on their friends propels him back towards the ICU waiting room. He finds Nancy and Tommy in the same chairs he left them, only now Mateo and Judd have joined them.

“Hey man.” Judd nods, he’s the first one to notice him, and as he shifts off his spot leaning against the wall, Carlos freezes in place. Despite being compelled to come back, and feeling the itch to follow through with TK’s plea of letting their friends be there for him, he feels out of place. It’s been so long since he occupied the same space as all of these people that mean so much to TK, and it’s impossible to ignore the real reason why they’re all here together now.

Judd watches him carefully, slowly making his way over with the look born of way too much knowledge surrounding grief. Carlos finds himself engulfed in the warmest hug he’s felt in a long while, the older man’s arms wrapped completely around him, shielding him for just a moment. When Judd pulls back and pats a hand on his shoulder, the look of understanding on his face brings tears to Carlos’ eyes. He can’t stand to look at it anymore as he turns towards the rest of the group who are doing their best imitation of not watching the spectacle.

“Hey Carlos,” Mateo greets him with the least amount of exuberance he’s ever heard from the kid and a soft, careful hug. “We’ve missed you man. Just wish –” he stutters, a shifty glance thrown in the direction of TK’s room.

“Me too, Mateo,” Carlos offers, “Thanks for coming. I know TK would appreciate it.”

“We’re here for you too.” The fierce insistence in Mateo’s voice is a clear holdover from other times. From months of Carlos’ absence in not just TK’s life, but all of these people’s. For the first time since the break up Carlos allows himself to feel the grief of the loss. The weight of it pulls him down and he sinks into the chair between Nancy and Tommy. Allowing them to take his hands in theirs again, except this time he doesn’t pull away.

Mateo and Judd excuse themselves sometime soon after that, with mentions of needing to get some rest before starting a new shift early tomorrow. It’s a stark reminder that the world outside the walls of this hospital marches on. He wishes he had the power to slow it down, prevent the inevitable ending that hangs over him.

“Want to go grab some coffee?” Nancy’s voice breaks through his dark thoughts and he meets her gaze before turning towards the room that holds his heart. He knows what he wants to do.

“I’m gonna go sit with TK.”

He feels Nancy follow his gaze and her hand landing on his shoulder. “I’ll grab you something,” she promises as they both get up and without a second glance he’s striding up to the door to TK’s room. Nothing has changed since the last time Carlos entered this room, the quiet slide of the door opening allows for the sounds inside to reach his ears. His heartbeat kicks up at the too slow, unsteady rhythm of the heart monitor. It brings him back to nights laying tangled up on the couch with TK, fingers and lips finding pulse points. The always higher than average beat of TK’s heart, that Carlos took great pride in making speed up with a well placed kiss.

As he settles into the chair next to the bed, the hiss and click of the ventilator surrounds him. Wrapping around him like a noose, cutting off his access to the very thing that gives him life. It’s not air though, no that thing is TK, his liveliness, his energy, everything that makes up that man Carlos loves. Desperate to hear something else, besides everything that is wrong, he pulls TK’s phone out of his pocket.

Opening the app he thinks how it’s better to listen to these now, while there is still hope, rather than later when they’re the words of a ghost.

November 6th, 2021

Hey Carlos, is it weird if I tell you I saw you on a scene today? Probably. Sorry. You looked good. Really good. I’m glad you seem to be doing okay.

Startled at the thought that he looked good at any time during the break up, Carlos tries to remember what shift that would have been, but the days blur together in his memory. He’s suddenly sad that he can’t remember the last time he saw TK at a scene before the disastrously awkward meeting earlier that day.

Doctor Matterson has been encouraging me to reach out, try to talk, but I haven’t told her that I walked out and then ghosted you. I did tell her that I definitely don’t have the right to come waltzing back in, now that I finally have some shit figured out.

She says that having the conversation might do us both some good. Help us move on. Find closure. I think that it’s just easier to keep the door as firmly shut as that day I walked out. Am I a coward for that, probably, but at least I’ll survive to tell the tale.

Move on. Find Closure. Survive to tell the tale.

He wonders why TK’s words always land like an arrow to his heart. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to move on after this. Find the closure that TK alludes to in his message. He wonders if TK felt like he was finding closure all those months ago, or if he was just pretending like Carlos was.

The anguish he feels hearing TK tell him that he thinks it would be better to keep the door shut. That TK forgot he held the key to every door Carlos ever had, all he had to do was come back, be there, talk, and Carlos wouldn’t have kept him out.

Mind whirling, the sounds of the medical equipment grow louder again and Carlos clicks the next message.

November 8th, 2021

“Hey. So I’ve been keeping busy.

TK’s voice floats over him as he stares unseeing at the body lying in the bed, unconsciously he closes his eyes, imagining the voice is coming from the man himself.

Work has been good. Steady.

Scaled down to therapy twice a week. Meetings. I’ve been trying.

Some days I think it’s working, but then I remember how good we had it before and how that blew up in my face. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m okay. That I’m not giving up.

It’s such a short message, but the tone of the message is different from all the previous ones. The tone of TK’s voice pitched up, an attempt at lightheartedness. It’s not quite sincere, but there is a flicker of truth underneath it, like TK maybe had started to believe some part of what he was saying, that he wasn’t giving up.

Carlos longs to reach out and take TK’s hand now, to beg him to keep fighting, to not give up. Old insecurities hold him back, but he moves the chair a bit closer, the legs scratching loudly across the floor, and then he leans closer still as he hits play for the next message.

November 10th, 2021

Dad left. Said he was sorry he couldn’t do more for the 126 and just ran away into hill country. I want to be so mad at him, until I remember that running is exactly what I do, did, have done. I don’t know. Some days it sucks to be a Strand.

And just like that all traces of hope are washed away again. Sucked out by the force of Owen Strand’s distinct lack of ability to be what TK needs when Owen himself is struggling to not be the hero everyone else sees him as. Anger stirs in the pit of Carlos’ stomach at the reminder that no one has been able to reach Owen since TK was admitted. That he’s not here now when TK needs him, and that he apparently hasn’t been for a long time.

It’s a kick in the gut that despite TK’s own words several messages ago that Owen could tell he wasn’t doing well, the man still couldn’t face being just what TK needs if he couldn’t be what he wanted.

Mom’s been trying to get me to go visit her. She’s got Jonah and can’t travel, otherwise I know she’d be here right now. She’s worried. She’s also pissed, I heard her yelling at dad through the phone. It didn’t change anything though.

Nothing really ever changes, does it? At least not the things that matter.

The words are a clear contradiction to who TK is at his core. TK has never believed in permanence of situations/people/feelings, sometimes to the detriment of believing that nothing good ever stays, but he always believed that things could change.

Once, TK had told him that ‘nothing ever stays the same’ and now he’s saying that ‘nothing ever changes’. He supposes the sentiments aren’t necessarily the same, but the lack of hopefulness in the words blankets him. Even at his most wary, even when he was pushing and pulling Carlos in every direction, TK never completely disregarded the possibility of things changing.

In the beginning TK had told him he wasn’t ready. Not that he wouldn’t ever be ready.

Before the solar storm TK told him that he needed to figure out himself before he could figure them out. Not that he would never be willing to figure them out.

With Carlos’ parents, TK promised to be whatever he needed, until he was ready because, nothing ever stays the same and he had faith in Carlos being ready sometime.

After the fire the number of times TK comforted him by reminding him that living with Owen wouldn’t be a forever thing, that things change.

During their last fight TK had shouted that he knew it wouldn’t last, that nothing ever stays the same. At the time it had just hurt to hear those words that Carlos once took reassurance from used against him. Now he is hit with the realization that TK hasn’t had anything permanent. He hasn’t had anything stay for him, not his parents, not his sobriety, not his love.

Carlos wants to be the one to change that. Same as he always has, but now with a new understanding of why TK doesn’t believe happiness will last.

With that thought he clicks play on the next message.

#ali writes #secret messages #tarlos break up era fic #tarlos #tarlos fanfic #carlos reyes #tk strand #3x03 #911 lone star #911 ls fic #part 2 secret messages

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alrightbuckaroo · 8 months

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fic stats meme

Thanks to the ever lovely @reyesstrand and @welcometololaland for the tags!

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

most hits: come and take a walk on the wild side

Play the part, live the lie; this is how we survive. ------- Carlos Reyes is a college student who's trying to pay his rent, get his degree and make his dad understand he doesn't need to worry about his son's future. That said, Carlos isn't too sure he's not worried about his own future. It feels like each day begets a question that can't be answered. After meeting TK Strand during a night out; he thinks he might just be the answer he's been looking for. What they didn't plan for, was Carlos being the answer TK wasn't looking for.

second most kudos: you've made me so very happy

TK stabs his fork into a leafy green. “That was my friend, Cash. We’re having our high school reunion next month and one of the planning committee members dropped out last minute. He asked if I could fill in.” “You’re going to your high school reunion?” Marjan asks, wiping her fingers on her napkin. “You have a friend named Cash?” Paul is quick to follow up, both clearly focused on different things. “Yeah.” TK wipes at his mouth while nodding. “He’s got a sister named Penny, too

third most comments: anger has told me her real name is grief

Carlos is letting his grief manifest into anger; no matter how much he doesn't want it to. Or, a coda for 4x17 and 4x18

fourth most bookmarks: when life gives you lemons

Carlos starts, "So, I was in the neighborhood." TK’s eyebrows furrow, confused by what his husband is doing. “Carlos we’re married, we live together, this is our neighborhood. Why wouldn't you be here?” “Just go with it, babe.” Carlos says through a tired smile or TK is helping Jonah sell lemonade during a hot summer day. They're not having any luck with customers until Carlos decides to walk by.

fifth most words: falling's not the problem, when i'm falling i'm at peace

TK can't help but feel like what he has with Carlos' is too good to be true.

the least words: all my blood for the sweetness of his laugh

TK laughs and it sounds genuine and true. Carlos can’t help but smile, he feels like the sun has cracked open inside him. He feels a warmth inside himself that’s hot to the touch.

no pressure tagging: @carlos-in-glasses, @bonheur-cafe, @orchidscript, @ambiguouspenny, @freneticfloetry, @three-drink-amy and here's an open tag for anyone who wants to dive in to data :)

#jeff buckley you will always be famous!!#also forgot about my college au series until right now lmao #tag you're it

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marjansmarwani · 2 years

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I promise that it’s worth the risk

24.2k || ao3

Carlos has an accident at work and for a while, TK thinks everything is lost.

But then he wakes up, and everything is okay.

But then it isn’t, because Carlos doesn’t remember him. In fact, Carlos doesn’t remember anything of the past three years: the entirety of TK’s time in Austin. Which is a pretty sick joke on the universe’s behalf, in TK’s opinion. He doesn’t know how to deal with that fact that though he didn’t lose Carlos, he did lose him in just about every way that matters.

But if one thing will always be true it’s that TK Strand loves Carlos Reyes with his entire heart and nothing is going to stop him from being there for him, whatever may come.

Six months later, the amnesia fic is finally done!

There are so many people I need to thank for getting me through the writing of this and making sure I actually did finish writing this in so many different ways. I’m going to list a few but I know that the list is not limited to just them: @moviegeek03, @justaswampdemon, @pragmatic-optimist, @doublel27

Beta’d by the wonderful @terramous

If you’d like to listen to the playlist I made to go with this fic, you can find that here. Happy reading!

--------

In the days that followed he would marvel that all it took to upend his entire world was one phone call.

Because that’s all it had been: a single call from a kind but efficient nurse in a hospital across the city. TK had never been on the other end of the call from the hospital. He could say with absolute certainty that he hated it.

Well, at the moment, he didn’t really feel like he could say anything at all. He was frozen at the edge of the station kitchen as Nancy gently pried his phone from his hand and Marjan placed a warm hand on his shoulder as she studied him with worried eyes. He wanted to assure them he was fine, that they didn’t have to worry, but that would be a lie. He was so far from fine he couldn’t even remember the sound of the word. His world had just been tipped off its axis and now it felt like it was spinning in place, stuck at this moment and a single line repeating in his head like a broken record: Detective Reyes has been injured in the line of duty.

He doesn’t know how Carlos had done it so many times. How had he even been able to breathe after getting one of those calls, let alone function? It’s all TK can do to agree to his dad’s offer to drive him to the hospital and to sit silently in the passenger seat, anxious fingers twisting at the gold band on his necklace as the world flashes by outside the window.

He could feel his dad’s eyes on him and he knew without looking what he would see. The weight of his gaze felt familiar; it was the same one he had felt so often in the days right after his mom had died. He knew his dad meant well, but he couldn’t handle it. The thought of losing Carlos like he had his mom…it was too much. He couldn’t bear those connections right now.

“Please stop looking at me like that.”

His dad looked startled by the sound of his voice, but he recovered quickly, “Like what?”

“Like he’s already dead.”

[continue reading on ao3]

#911 lone star #tarlos #tarlos fic #911ls fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #my writing #amnesia fic #userbones #userkimmy #tuserpaige #userthai #tusersilence #tusersonia #jazzyjess #actuallysara #buckybarnesalways #reyesstrand

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theghostofashton · 6 months

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weekend wip game

thank you for the tags @lemonlyman-dotcom and @orchidscript and thank you to @welcometololaland for coming up with this game!

rules: list your wips below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future wips/ideas!) then answer the following questions. then, tag as many people as you have wips (or more).

1. WIP List:

of things i am actively working on / thinking about?

exes to lovers au: the one i'm the farthest in, the gang went to college together in new york and made all kinds of memories, tk and carlos fell in love, but things ended abruptly right before graduation and now it's six years later and fate brings them back together (tk moves to austin)

olympics au: after a devastating injury took him out of contention for london, carlos is back to gymnastics and determined to make rio. he doesn't anticipate the way tk strand coming into his life will change everything.

cda: i don't want to give much away about this one but it is a carlos character study

stripper au: this has like. -3 plot atm (is honestly just a series of chaotic text messages to friends) so i don't have much to say but i have decided i will be writing it for sure so adding to the list.

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

exes to lovers, hands down. both in words and extensive plans

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

exes to lovers

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

the only one i'm making active progress on atm is exes to lovers but i would probably say that one. it's such a rich story filled with so many self-indulgent things and thinking about it and planning has been so much fun

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

stripper au i think. mostly because it's a kind of story i never thought i would write and a whole new world to explore. challenging myself in writing is one of my favorite things about it but it's also scary lol

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

exes to lovers i think. just because it's so specific in my head and i'm constantly doubting my ability to translate that to actual words lol

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

having someone else read my fics before they're posted is a relatively new thing to me tbh, but i really do enjoy it so i'd say all of them? i just find that having someone to talk things through with is really invaluable. i haven't sought out a sensitivity reader yet but i would definitely do so depending on content so i'm making sure to be respectful

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

...exes to lovers lately? idk i've just as a whole been busy/tired/stressed and not writing nearly as much which has been really frustrating

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

so far i don't think i have any lol. but i'm creating a love interest for marjan in exes to lovers that i'm super excited about. queer marjan is a hc that's always been special to me so i've decided to create a gf for her.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

stripper au i feel like is the obvious answer lol

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

exes to lovers, probably. getting into their heads about their time apart hurts, the breakup hurts, the messiness of them encountering each other present day hurts..... she's gonna be a lot lol

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

exes to lovers for sure. i feel like getting to think about everyone when they were 18 and in college and develop them there and then also exploring them into adulthood has led to some incredible characterization

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

exes to lovers because it explores new york and texas so closely

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

exes to lovers. my voice memos are just.....that fic. i've gone on so many walks during my lunch breaks and just talked through some things with myself lol. weaving two timelines together is so hard and has taken so much planning

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

cda, i think. it's a story i've wanted to write for months but i've kinda shied away from because there were a lot of things i wanted to think through for it. there's so much i want it to be and i hope i can accomplish that

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

i wish lmao

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

exes to lovers has the two timelines, olympics involves a lot of gymnastics jargon, cda is very much [redacted], and stripper au is well. self explanatory lol

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

olympics au, i'd say. kinda a heavy premise that i wanted to offset with a lot of jokes and banter amongst the characters

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

exes to lovers won't necessarily feature outside pov but a good bit of this story deals with this group of very close-knit friends that fell apart a little, once two of them broke up, and the ways that rocked everyone's dynamics (particularly because, similar to canon, neither tk nor carlos told them why). it's been really interesting to think about how that affected the other characters. i also have spent way too much time developing everyone else, thinking about their lives and careers and perspectives, so there'll definitely be quite a bit of character exploration beyond tarlos

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

exes to lovers - carlos teaches 10th grade english and it has been an absolute joy to write

olympics au - andrea and gabriel olympic power duo <3

cda: all my carlos headcanons wrapped into a fic

four wips so i'll tag @sanjuwrites @reyesstrand @carlos-in-glasses and @bonheur-cafe

#tag game #weekend wip game #neha rambles

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lemonlyman-dotcom · 3 months

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Hi! I hope you all are still having fun with the rewatch!!! Can you believe it’s already Week Three??

Here are the prompts for this week’s fic rec game:

Fics occurring early or in the middle of Season One (This week’s episodes: 1x05 Studs & 1x06 Friends Like These) and featuring:

Expansion on the club scene

Paul & Josie

Marjan & Mateo friendship

TK & Paul friendship

Featuring Zoe

Judd & Grace working through their intimacy issues

The rules are simple: every week there will be a different prompt, and everyone is encouraged to share a fic (or a few!) recommendation that meets the prompt and tag a few fic-reading friends. The game can be played all week, so no pressure to post right away. I will kick us off with a few recs and then I’ll tag some folks below to get us going! Please feel free to use the banner above, to make your own, or to not use one at all!

Finally, please use the tag ‘Rewatch Read-Along Week 3’ and at the end of the week @911lonestarrewatch will post the link to the tag for the comprehensive list of fic recs!

Thanks to @guardian-angle22 for the banner 🙇‍♀️

Take the leap by @tailoredshirt

T | 900 words

Paul and TK have a chat at the club about why TK is so hesitant about pursuing anything serious with Carlos.

The monsters turned out to be just trees by @liminalmemories21

M | 7k

The first of Lim’s season interstitials, gives us the conversation between TK and Carlos leading up to them deciding to take Paul clubbing, and Carlos telling TK he’s not a problem to solve.

sueño hecho realidad by @bellakitse

G | 1k

After the rescue in the field, Carlos swings by the firehouse to overhear the team teasing TK about his big muscles.

Holding On (Until You Can't Anymore) by @marjansmarwani

G | 3k

Paul & TK friendship fic!! TK is injured on a call to a factory, and he and Paul have to work together to get everyone out safe, including TK.

A Helping Hand by @chicgeekgirl89

T | 2k

The 126 responds to a call with Carlos, and Paul immediately figures out TK is hooking up with him (and razzes him appropriately).

Tagging the above authors if they’d like to play and the following folks to get us started. However this is open to all who wanna play!! @thisbuildinghasfeelings @paperstorm @reyesstrand @carlos-in-glasses @redshirt2 @lightningboltreader @herefortarlos @heartstringsduet @guardian-angle22 @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @fangirl-paba @certifiedflower @bonheur-cafe @noxsoulmate

#Rewatch Read-Along Week 3 #911 lone star rewatch 2024 #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #911 lone star fanfiction

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freneticfloetry · 8 months

Note

hi courtney! @reyesstrand here on my main blog ajdnskd but for nice ask day i’d love to know about to build a home…what was the writing process like? any little tidbits you want to share about it? it’s one of my absolute all time favourite fics, so anything you’d want to share would be amazing <3 also!! i saw your ask where you mention you saw hozier and i’m seeing him on tuesday (!!!) so any hozier songs you feel speak to the lone star characters/relationships the most?

Hey Maddie!

First of all, hugs and kisses to you for all your kind words on to build a home (here and in feedback). I’m so glad it struck a chord.

I’m not sure what else to say about it, to be honest! Um… okay, there were four scenes in my original outline that I cut. Well, three scenes cut and two others combined. Very early on there was a scene at the honky tonk the night TK and Carlos met, sort of the tail end and aftermath of their first hookup and Carlos deciding that he needed to see this boy again, even if it meant breaking his rules and bringing him home. I never even started that scene proper — once things got flowing it made much more sense to just refer to that in the scene following, after TK stormed out on the date. Immediately after that one was supposed to be the scene when Carlos finds out Iris is alive, which got the axe for two reasons: one, I really didn’t want to write Michelle, and two — more importantly — I needed Iris to stay a sort of ghost for Carlos until he’s forced to unearth all that later.

Chapter Two pretty much proceeded exactly as planned, with the exception of the post-fire scene at Owen’s — that was just supposed to be Carlos laying in the dark and sort of inside his own head, reflecting on all the things he lost but the one thing he came out with being the only thing he couldn’t bear to lose. But TK sort of stormed the castle. I was chugging along, and all of the sudden, I’d typed that he’d woken up. It was literally like he said “my baby’s hurting, he needs me.” Which was cute, but not the plan. 😂 Still, I was really happy with the conversation that emerged.

Chapter Three, though… well, like mother like son. Not only did TK go rogue again, so did Gwyn, with the whole “future” talk toward the end of their conversation. The post-Cooper scene was originally post-Sadie, but it was too raw and too soon for TK to have processed things in a way that would have let him have that talk with Carlos (who would’ve been too freshly-mired in his own guilt, at that point, instead of adrift and unsure in Cooper’s wake). Switching it was definitely the right call, for me. The We Need to Talk About Iris of it all had huge changes in the moment, because once I started the scene, even though I had a plan, I wrote one line in particular and it unlocked everything else. Going over it with @ambiguouspenny, I thought they were going to have a meltdown. But in a good way! The hospital scene threw me a curveball, in the form of tying up a loose end from the first chapter, so that’s how Dom happened. It derailed the original plan for the first half of that conversation with Gabriel — he was going to tell Carlos that his abuela had always called him such a homebody, that after he came out he couldn’t leave home fast enough, and Carlos was going to confess that he’d sort of detached because he wasn’t sure he’d have a place under their roof after everything, that he had a bag that lived in Iris’ trunk for months, because it was better to be ready than to be blindsided — but I actually like the detour better. There was a scene planned immediately following — the boys coming back to the loft from the hospital after Marjan’s whole ordeal, where TK tries to convince Carlos to take the detective exam — but once I finished the scene before that was the easiest cut ever. It would’ve derailed all the emotional momentum from the scene before. And the wedding and wedding night were supposed to be two separate scenes, but halfway through the hospital scene I randomly got the urge to combine them, and I really love how it turned out.

There are a few lines and snippets that didn’t make the cut, one piece of dialogue in particular that inspired a whole new fic. (Also there was an extended exchange during the move-in scene, with Carlos’ crack about the exercise bike, that kind of went something like this:

TK: “Seriously, how does a guy who looks like you own zero gym equipment?” And then, like a little lightbulb: “Oh my god, you were that kinda gay.”

Carlos: “There’s a gym at the precinct, TK.”

TK: “And I’m sure that’s what you use now.”)

So basically… the writing process was chaos. I guess I had things to say after all! 😂

Second, YAY, A HOZIER SHOW OF YOUR VERY OWN!

Re: Hozier speaking to Lone Star characters and pairings, why yes, don’t mind if I do.

I think there are a bunch of things that fit, actually. Tarlos and Francesca are clearly a match made in heaven, but First Time has hella TK vibes, both Shrike and Sunlight are Carlos as hell (though the former fits TK too), and I, Carrion (Icarian) fits for both Tarlos and Judd/Grace, from TK or Judd or even Grace’s perspective. From Eden is such a Judd-about-Grace song, as is NFWMB, but I think Would That I is his truest theme. Better Love could be Judd or Carlos. Unknown/Nth is my Breakup Era Carlos Anthem, and As It Was fits for TK during that same stretch. I have too many feelings about Movement to even nail down who it belongs to. All Things End feels like it would work well for Owen and Gwyn, and I’ll be damned if Arsonist’s Lullaby isn’t Owen’s buried anger issues to a tee.

I won’t even get started on individual lyrics/verses (but “I get along without you very well some other nights” and “be still my foolish heart, don’t ruin this on me” is the most TK Strand shit ever).

Not that I’ve thought about this at all. 😜

(Oh my god, this was an utterly unhinged answer, I’m so sorry.)

#nice ask day #asked and answered

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futures-tense · 11 months

Text

vary my days

When TK asked Tommy to sing at the wedding, the song choice was easy. It was his mom's favorite, but she also called it their song. He never really thought about how perfectly Stephen Sondheim's Being Alive fit his relationship with Carlos until now. OR A recap of major moments in their relationship, represented by a line from the song.

A/N: It’s 12 chapters in total, all of them are out and it reaches 4.9k words. It’s split by chapter so you can see each line from the song that each snippet is inspired by!!

Chapter 1: Make Me Confused

“TK, you got another text,” Mateo says as he tosses the phone to TK. He pockets it without a second glance.

“It’s no one.”

Marjan raises an eyebrow, scrubbing a little too hard at a spot on the truck. “Don’t tell me you’re ghosting someone.”

“I would never,” he says flatly, hopping off the back of the truck to toss the stained towel onto the bench.

“That was not convincing at all,” Paul says, peering down at him over the side of the rig. “Is it that guy who made you late yesterday?”

A chorus of jeers and prompts rise from the other members of the team, but TK just bites down and ducks into the TV room.

The guy from the bar—that’s what TK calls him, desperately trying to separate himself— has been texting TK since he stormed out of that dinner.

Nothing against Carlos; he seemed great. He clearly wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of person. Fine. But TK, sober, Texas TK, had already decided he wasn’t a relationship kind of person. Unfortunately for Carlos, fancy dinner after both their shifts felt a little too relationship-like.

Carlos was sweet and treated him well.

He was someone TK could see himself falling in love with.

Which was the real problem with all of this. TK doesn’t need to fall in love; he can’t fall in love. That’s not in the cards for him, and he’s working on accepting that.

But Carlos feels safe in ways that TK doesn’t fully understand. In a string of wrong turns and wrong guys, Carlos is a spark of hope for better things. Things like hot sex and fancy dinners after both their shifts and secrets shared with no judgment, only support. Things like someone to come home to after a bad shift, someone who will always come looking, who will always press because he knows him too well.

But TK can’t be that for someone else. He can’t promise to come home for someone. He can’t promise he’ll be safe or sober or sane. He will never be able to share his secrets without the cold, gripping fear that comes with vulnerability, will never be able to trust the supportive words that follow, and will always be searching for the double meaning that it holds.

He drops into one of the chairs as his phone dings again. He pulls it out, and the message flashing across the screen is simple.

I understand if I asked for too much. Forget I ever mentioned it.

TK stares at the words for a long time.

Because that’s just it.

He doesn’t want to forget it. Aside from the champagne, it was a perfect dinner until TK screwed it up. It wasn’t too much to ask for. It was the bare minimum. If TK couldn’t handle even that, he might be worse off than he’d thought.

He flops back onto the couch and prays for the alarm to go off. That way, he might actually be able to forget, even just for a moment.

[Read the rest on Ao3]

#911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #talie writes #my fics #vary my days #I really liked writing this one #also Im surprised I had enough service to post all 12 chapters lol

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matan4il · 11 months

Note

Good morning Alice!! What's interesting about bringing up the Marjan, Eddie, Buck, and TK aspects, is that now we have Canon confirmation seasons later that Buddie do not wing man or talk to each other about significant others. And may I just say that is loud.

As shippers, we do have to infer a lot, but it's so easy with Buddie. This season offered lots of hints. Clearly, like at Chims birthday party, when they go out to bars, Buddie must have always stuck together. Buck was only picking up partners when Eddie wasn't out with him. He wasn't kissing and telling. He only knew the bare minimum of Shannon. In all these years, they never picked up women together, and Eddie wouldn't know if sometimes there was a guy or 2. I mean, Eddie could barely say or comprehend saying masturbating to Buck. Especially when you take in context, yes, they more then likely shared a bed during quarantine. Did they make a pillow wall??

And again maybe I'm reading into it but yes it is very loud. That is how writers treat potential partners. Even if one starts out with an active dating life, when it's established, there is a potential pairing, well, they usually start hiding it. You never want someone you admire to think poorly of you. So it's funny that they wrote these 2 hot single firefighters this way. Even down to Buck only spiraling with Lucy because of Eddie, not Taylor. Then the cherry on top Eddie witnessing part of it.

Ad always I hope you are feeling ok and that your new treatment is going well?? Stay safe!!

My darling! *hugs* Thank you for the ask!

"As shippers, we do have to infer a lot" TBH, I have not been inferring so much as I have had Buddie shoved into my face with a little of Eddie stripteasing, a dash of Buck being the one taking it in, and a whole lot of "Whatta Man" playing in the background. I have not been the same person since.

And yes, I agree with everything you said. They do NOT wing man for each other. They DO get jealous and snide when the other one is trying to bond with anyone else. They do NOT wanna hear about it. They WILL advise against it, even when they fail to follow their own advice. This has been shown so consistently, it can't be ignored and it is NOT the way two platonic best friends are with each other.

OMG, you had to remind me of the likely scenario of them sleeping together in the same bed during covid, which I am still not over. ABC better dig into that goldmine and give us some flashbacks of them pining away without even realizing they're pining away for each other in THE SAME FREAKING BED.

Thank you for the kind words! The treatment isn't fun and I'm feeling worse physically, but I'm doing my best to soldier on. Keep working, keep doing my best every day. But I am sleeping more than usual, and I guess that's my body's way of dealing with how low I'm feeling physically. Thank you again for caring! Sending you all the love! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

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tellmegoodbye · 7 months

Note

Hello Harley! nice ask week query for you! give me your top 5 Lone Star scenes please and thank you 💜

Top five scenes??? Gosh, This is hard!!

Before we start, Hello. My name is Harley and I love angst. My choices here probably explain a lot...

I am doing this off the top of my head because I have never put a list together until now. It is also very late so if I forget an iconic scene that would be criminal for me to leave out, I'm sorry. I will definitely correct myself in the morning and add onto this if that is the case.

The best scene in the entire show HAS to be the TK waking up/Grace giving birth sequence, right? I think it's safe to say that nobody is doing it like her. Just the two extremely emotional situations that could only really be described as miracles, both coming to fruition after four episodes of angst. The music choice?? The acting??? TK and Carlos finding their way back to each other and barely having to say anything, and Grace and Judd being able to have this experience together in spite of everything that stood in that path. The pain you can feel from Owen as he watches a new life coming into this world, unaware that his son is waking up at the same exact time. Like the choices that were made here were just brilliant. Push, my beloved, there is a reason I just wrote 23k words about you.

This is a combination of two from the same episode, the first one being that period of silence after Tommy finds Charles in 2x13. It's one of the most emotional scenes I've ever watched in any show, and it does so much without relying on sound. The second one is at the end of the same episode where she is finally able to cry, and this is also one of my favorite musical moments from the show, if you recognized the lyrics in my blog title!

The entire plane landing sequence in 3x08. Another favorite musical moment of mine, but also just an amazing scene in general. I'm a sucker for all the 'begins' type episodes, and the way that scene switches between the past and present is really well done and definitely gets me crying every time.

I absolutely have to include the scene in 2x02 where we get a glimps at each character mourning after Tim's death. It's another one of those scenes that does a lot with very little. Incredible acting, and it gave us that beautiful moment where TK comes home to Carlos and collaspes in his arms. Such a memorable scene for me.

I'm going to be on my Owen bs for a hot second here so please bear with me. It had actually been a while since I watched this scene so I almost forgot how much I enjoyed it, but I watched 3x18 again recently and the scene where Owen is hallucinating talking to Gwyn fucking broke me. As well as the rest of the scene that followed where he's rescued. The best way I could describe their love story is a beautiful tragedy. You can tell Owen has carried around a lot of guilt for how it ended, and you can't help but wonder how different things could have been if they had worked out, and if she had lived. I think it was an incredibly important scene to have as well, if you also take into account everything we learned about Owen in 3x15 and 3x16. His journey over the past two seasons is something I have appreciated immensely. We learned that he lost his brother and his father in different, yet equally tragic ways, he lost the love of his life, he lost a brother AGAIN so soon after metting him, and after all that loss he still had to find a way to focus on the people who were still there. I think that 3x18 scene in particular is beautiful, but it also sums up a lot of the emotions I have surrounding his character and why I love him so much.

Honorable mentions include: soulmates scene, proposal scene, intro scene in 4x18 where they postpone the wedding, the entire being alive sequence, the call between Grace and that astronaut in 1x10, Hen and Owen talking when they're trapped in the mine in 2x03, Carlos crying after the fire, Marjan keeping herself alive by hallucinating her younger self in road kill, and literally any scene from saving grace and shift-less.

Plus many others that I have inevitably forgotten. Please yell at me and tell me what I missed because I can be a ding dong sometimes and I am overdo for a full rewatch.

#I apologize to any owen haters who stumble upon this #my blog is not an owen-hater friendly environment #I unapologetically adore him and he is my favorite after TK and Carlos #I am biased for good musical moments as well as flashbacks of any kind if that wasn't obvious #I love you character development I love you cinematography #I love you to whoever it is that works at 911 and 911ls who decided to include a shinedown song in both shows YOU ARE MY HERO #the how did you love scene also goes hard #okay I have rambled wayyyy too much and I have no idea how to format this in order to make it more readable #I'm so sorry my brain just doesn't know how to shut up #asks #911 lone star

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 1 year

Text

A H PROMO TIME

Logically I know we probably won't see much/any of Carlos next week because recovery is too important to just be like one scene but still I can hope lol

I mean to just see a bit of it xD maybe TK will mention it though (I swear he better)

Anyway lol

Ooh hi Judd :D

XD I don't think we saw him at all today

I'll excuse it bc. yk. obviously XD, but I miss my boy <333

Oooh a fire okay okay 👀👀😬

Dang we focusing so much on this fire I'm thinking we won't get anything else xD

Rip to my Carlos hopes lol but also what about the rest of the episode xD

OPE Marjan 👀👀?

Ooohh noo

Ahh afraid of messing it up yeah o.o

Maybe because of scrutiny be that public or peer/employers 👀?

A A A A H H H H H H H WAIT WHAT RESIGNING?????!!?!!?

HOLD UP NOW

YOU CAN'T JUST THROW THAT AT ME WHAT THE H E C K

NOOOO NO NO NO NO NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS MARJAN

I mean she can but 😭 xD

AAAHHHHHH AND SOMEBODY RIDING AWAY

A H

N O

WHAT THE HECK

xDD

That's the last of my last thoughts. Now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H

Y'AAAALLLLLLLLLLL

THIS. EPISODE. WAS SO AMAZING 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰❤️

Okay okay xdd I got this y'all lol.

I absolutely loved loved LOVED this episode :DDDD. Dude, the ANGST 😭😭❤️❤️❤️👀!!! The drama, the searching, the referring to people as fiance 🥰🥰 (what I just love it okay xD), even Owen's storyline!! Especially the shortness of it XDD - no offense Owen. But I mean, we definitely got way more of the other one, as we should lol. I am glad there was another plot though, just because it would feel a little weird having an entire episode pretty much just following TK around. That makes it sound casual but yk xD. Also, it gives us time to stress lol, and makes it feel like more time has passed. Basically I just think it was needed for the flow :). Plus at least if Owen had to be not being there for his son, he wasn't stealing the spotlight XD. Anyway lol, absolutely amazing episode, just, stellar 😍😍.

WGHOOO holy crap xd

Y'all I am literally unsteady of my feet

Gasping shock from the promo and everything else and also just gasping in ~drama~ and like a billion things and all the feelings at once lol. I am not okay xdd.

But seriously for quite a while while (yes that's on purpose) I was catching up on my liveblogging I was like having shortness of breath man xD I was literally losing it lol

I still am but I'm gonna work on this for a little bit and then go eat dinner and take a break lol xdd. I do want to get it all done now but my hands and my brain (from having to word so much, and I don't mean that in a grammatically correct way, I just mean words man xD) are tired lol. Like I'm not out of words quite but I just feel like taking a break lol, since I was freaking out the whole time, during the episode (and typing for most of it), and I've been catching up for the past hour lol. So that's two hours of freaking out, trying to get everything, and stressing lol xD. So, I'mma do some of this (I actually already did and came back to add that I was unsteady since I meant to lol, I decided to say it here when it happened xD), and then come back later lol. I just need to destress for a bit I think, no matter how much I'd love to finish it now while my feelings are fresh XD. I need energy for the rest of the things I have to do tonight lol. But, I will be coming back :).

Now, onto the individual parts lol.

So xD. I think I'm just gonna do like, the 126, Grace, Owen (including O'Brien), and then of course Tarlos ft. Gabriel XDD. Alright, let's get into it lol.

The 126!! My babeys 🥰🥰🥰🥰. I loved them so much :'DDD. We didn't get to see much of them, but at least we got that entire scene with TK in the beginning 🥰🥰🥰. We got to see their siblingism lol, in the teasing aspect of that xD, but we also saw them supporting TK, which was really nice :'DD. Even a splash of Nanteo, lol xD! Plus of course Nancy and TK siblingism specifically 🥰🥰🥰. Anyway, we didn't see much of them, and I do miss them, but I loved this storyline (including in the past few episodes) so I'll allow it lol <333. And continuing on, despite the fact that we didn't see them much this episode, they were amazing :DD. I love them all with my whole heart 🥰🥰🥰. Oh and Judd I miss you 😭😭😭❤️🥰 XD. Luckily he will be coming back to us next week lol <333. Anyway, in short, I love them <3333.

Grace!! We love our girl 🥰🥰. She was amazing finding all the stuff on Carlos :D. Especially considering it was illegal xD. At first at least, but I assume it was still illegal later lol. Anyway, she was awesome as always 🥰🥰. Plus her comforting TK 😭😭❤️🥰 >>>. Like, that little "I'm sorry baby" or something similar 😭🥺❤️. Ik that's something she says, "baby" I mean, but it just :'))) she loves him your honor <333. Anyway yeah, her 😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️😍❤️. I love her <3333.

Owen! Owennn. My mannn. SIR. ANSWER YOUR PHONE WHEN YOUR SON CALLS!!! Okay like I know he was dealing with terrorism and the FBI and everything and I get that, and genuinely it is a good excuse lol, but I'm still mad xD. Still, it'll make for angst down the line :D. Anyway, besides that lol, I did actually really enjoy Owen's storyline today :)). I mentioned to someone earlier today how I was laughing a lot last week despite it being about a kidnapping, but that I'd probably be laughing less at this one (and that it was also a kidnapping lol). And I mean, I was, but I was still laughing lol xD. Besides panicked laughing basically at myself lol. Mostly going "I'M FINE :))))" with a bit of laughing xD. But my point is lol, Owen's storyline provided some laughs XD. Bc I mean, he provides some great jokes xD. Also, while I was definitely way more exciting for the other storyline's scenes, I still enjoyed Owen's :). Like I said earlier, it was necessary for the flow.

Anyway, YESS! I'm glad O'Brien isn't actually one of them - I don't think they'll pull another twist on us, so I think it'll stay this way lol. And even though it was funny sometimes, I'm glad we're done with the under-coverness. In and out and in and out - it's just simpler now. Now, I genuinely thought (or maybe I just hoped, but I think I thought lol) that they would be suspecting O'Brien and not Owen, but then that guy kept on talking lol. And honestly, c'mon Owen, the one time you don't wanna fight? But nah xD, it was the smart thing to do lol. I'm also glad that we're (or Owen is at least) getting along a bit better with O'Brien. It's not like we (why am I saying we lol) were necessarily on bad terms, but Owen and him were finding things in common, and honestly they've kinda been through it xD. I think he'll be useful in the future :). And I really do hope they find his nephew - and that he's not the bomb maker. But I wouldn't exactly be surprised if he is, you know? I mean, maybe I will be in the heat of the moment, depending on how much it was hinted at, but still. It would suck (like :( not >:/), but it would be interesting 👀.

Anyway, I'm a bit dreading the storyline of that person targeting Owen because of Owen being the center of attention, but also, I'm excited for it :). Especially since, even if they're not directly targeted for being related (not literally in all except TK's case) to Owen, the others will be affected by it too :). I'm assuming that's where the clip we've seen in promos of Owen warning people comes from, that whole plotline coming up. But, anyway, I'm excited :). And yes, these paragraphs are kind of short, because I ain't interested in having a repeat of last week lol. Anyway, lastly, I am glad Owen answered the first time TK called, and he did resist the FBI for a minute to talk to him a bit longer :). It still sucks he had to rush off, but I'm glad he was at least there for TK a little bit <3. I'm totally (as long as I have the motivation, and who knows if I'll finish it but I will definitely try lol) writing a fic about him listening to messages TK left him and losing it (not totally). Well, let's say being distressed lol. Anyway, despite all I've said about Owen here lol, I loved him <33.

Now. Finally :). TK and Carlos. A A A H H H H H H H H H H H!!! 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰😍😍💔💔❤️❤️❤️😭😭❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️. Okay, I'm good lol. Kind of xD. Anyway, I'll try and at least make this longer than Owen's - on principle lol -, but I don't have quite as much to say since I said a lot more about Tarlos in the moment than I did Owen lol. I'm trying to make my reviews a little shorter by not including quite so much of what I said in the liveblogs, more of my thoughts that I didn't put down (usually the more thought out ones lol), so it's a little easier for me to do them :). Motivation just be that way sometimes lol! Anyway :D. My boyyssss 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰. But also. My boyyssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. XD. Anyway, I thought they were AMAZING this episode. And, just a quick note - UGH, the ACTING!!!!! SO. AMAZING. Thank you Ronen and Rafa 😭😭❤️ :) :D.

Anyway, this episode was DEFINITELY an angsty one - obviously - but it was so, so good :D. For them, I mean - it was in general but this ain't about that right now lol. Seeing all their emotions, really strong ones obviously, was just heartbreaking 😭. And, I was only just thinking about this, but they kind of paralleled each other. Obviously they're having similar feelings (like fear lol), but in different ways, because of their different sides of the equation. Plus, we haven't seen TK's anger in a while - besides the slight anger/the frustration with Iris -, and it was fuuun :DDD >:)). Anyway, just seeing how TK's emotions redirected into the anger, and Carlos's were forced to go into logical thinking. It was rough 😭. And also, that scene of Carlos seeing TK on the doorbell monitor? Wow, why don't you break my heart with a hammer already :'). Or that meat tenderizer Trudie used to smash carlos's phone :'D. Anyway XD.

TK obviously went through it this episode, but I mean. Carlos is the main focus of going through it here XD. They were both suffering and I'm totally vibing with the double angst but right now let's talk about Carlos since he was literally kidnapped, drugged, and almost killed lol. Also during the liveblog I was mostly just screaming, so I'm gonna differentiate some of my emotions here XD. Now, when Carlos was quiet (not quite submissive) or drugged it was awful, but whenever he was fighting back it was just viscerally uncomfortable. In a really good acting and such kinda way lol. Especially earlier on in the episode - by the time we was fighting Darryl at the end I was consumed even more by other things, one of which being "YES YES YES GOOOO CARLOS, SLAYYYY GO OFF, BEAT HIM!!!!" XD. But anyway, the entire time it was just so heartbreaking 😭😭❤️💔🥺. And Carlos saying that Gwyn's love passed through him because he had no idea how he could love TK that much? I just. Wow. I think he'd probably actually thought that before lol, not just coming up with it for Trudie's benefit, but even if he did, DANG. That is some powerful stuff xdd 😭😭. Also heartwrenching and heartwarming lol xD. Just emotional in general.

And now some on TK! Then a bit of Tarlos and then some less emotional plot stuff lol. Anyway, ANGRY TKKKK :DDD!! XDD But besides that, seeing the subtleties in his fear - the constant bouncing, the way he always looked like he was about to cry. Just, UGH 😭😭😭, so good. And I'm sure this experience will definitely mess him up - don't even get me started on how much this'll have traumatized Carlos - xd. Honestly if we don't get a lot of it in canon, I'm excited for the fics that explore Carlos and TK's trauma from this more :). Probably more stuff of dealing with it/having it brought or rise up than deep dives but those too lol. Even if we get a lot in canon xD. Anyway, lol. It was just heartbreaking to see TK unravelling throughout the episode; in scenes like him talking with Gabriel he's clearly trying to keep it together, but by the time we get to investigating he's really losing it. Just, UGH, so good :'DDD 😭🥰❤️😍.

Now that last scene - well, the last two actually, I'll include the ambulance/after scene lol. TK having to do chest compressions and save Carlos (well, hold onto him for a little :') ) was just 😭😭😭. And seeing Carlos try to focus on TK when he was still awake? UGH, 😭😭😭😭 so good. And AAGHHHH 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. It was such an amazing scene but MAN did it hurt xd. Especially Carlos jumping away from them when he woke up 💔💔 <33. And after that, the conversation about holding onto his life :'DDD? And how TK HAS HIS LIFE 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰. Y'all it's over close it down it was all worth it for this xD. They're just so adorable and in love :')). Also, YESSS THE "ARE YOU GONNA RIDE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?" PARALLELLLLLLL!!! WHOOOO 🥰🥰😍😍😭🥳🥳🥳🥳😭. WE DESERVE IT XDDD. I will say again that it would've been even better (than 100% amazing) if it has been fiancé this time lol. Anyway xD. Oh and yeah I loved how much they said fiancé this time :'). Anybody <33. I just love acknowledgments of people's relationships okay :'DDD. But especially Tarlos being fiancés ;'))))). Idk why winky just because :D.

Anyway, plot wise I absolutely loved Tarlos in this episode. It was super interesting and obviously VERY tense, and the kidnapping (kidnappers, backstory, reason for it, etc) was actually very interesting. Not that I necessarily expected it not to be, but I didn't really think about it much lol. Also, I don't think any of us expected TK at the door xD 😭. Anyway, I also thought Trudie seemed in character the whole time with what we knew of her - she wasn't evil, and she believed in love (especially that of a mother and a son), so she let Carlos out. But she loved her son more than anything, so she protected him from Carlos. That's just the one example but yeah I thought it was really interesting, and really good :D. Also, TK working with Gabriel this episode? Obviously >>>>. As we all expected lol xD.

Now, for a quick look at next episode and after that: I hope we'll see Carlos next episode, and hear about his recovery and all that, but I think we'll see TK mention it but not actually see Carlos. I think it would be difficult to just have in one scene - like I said earlier, it's an important thing, too much to just put in a throwaway (not throwaway but I mean not one of the main plots of the episode) scene. I just think it would feel unnatural, but I don't know that we'll get a whole storyline on it next episode. And while I would absolutely love that, it makes sense. And it's been way too long since we've truly seen the others and they deserve some screen time :D. So, yeah, I think it'll get mentioned, and then in the next episode we see Carlos in/a few episodes from now we'll see some of the aftermath of this episode. See, I wouldn't be surprised at, say, a Carlos returning to work storyline in an episode (as in the one after this next one) or two, and having to deal with/explore some of the trauma through that. I mean the plot, but Carlos also having to deal with it lol. And obviously if something like that does happen we better have amazing support from TK <3. Anyway, I just hope (I know they will :'D) they support each other and love each other (not really a hope it's a fact lol), and they'll get through this :'D. Anyway, long story short, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOUR HONOR 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰😍😍🥰🥰🥰!!! Yeah, I love them <3.

Overall, I absolutely loved this episode. I adored it :D. It was so, so amazing, and once it's been a little longer I'll probably rewatch it - I don't rewatch full episodes a lot, and usually if I watch clips it's not angsty ones, but it can be. Anyway, for example, I haven't re-watched any episode this season yet, but I think I may rewatch this one this week. If I can clam down enough lol XD. I'm still tense just thinking about it, writing this. Plus from something else I was watching, but that's besides the point lol. Anyway, obviously I loved the kidnapped plot this episode, but I really enjoyed Owen's too :). Especially since it'll apparently play into the angst we see for TK and Owen in the future :D. Which, I'm glad was directly addressed (well, seen by us lol, addressed by the show, not characters) this episode. Usually it's tiny things or things we just assume, and I imagine some of which will be brought up in that future storyline, but today we saw TK outwardly bothered by it :). Very interesting! Not confusing though, it definitely makes sense lol. Anyway! I loved seeing a bit of the 126 - the scene they were in was great lol -, though it was odd to see TK mostly doing this on his own. He wasn't, but he also wasn't interacting much with the others. This episode felt like it was literally following TK, Carlos, and Owen. Luckily for the episode Carlos didn't move much lol. . . . sorry lol XD. Anyway (also yes the period and then separate ellipse was on purpose lol), it was really cool :D. Just odd how, maybe because he wasn't at work, we didn't see any of the team's reactions to everything going on. Certainly interesting. Also, I live in FEAR of the next episode 😳👀. I think the ending of the promo there is a red herring, an in the moment kind of association - I don't think it's Marjan leaving, I think it's probably Owen or O'Brien, maybe one of the other gang members. Also I doubt Marjan will really leave, or at least not for long (if it lasts for multiple episodes I'll die <3), but I am still very much in fear :'D. TK looks way too at peace in that last shot (or one of the last shots anyway) for Marjan to be leaving though xD. But yeah, it looks super interesting and I'm excited to see that big fire, and why everything that happens happens :D. Anyway! Back to this episode lol :). Grace was also amazing, I'm interested to see where Owen's storyline is going since while it closed a chapter, it's the only storyline from this episode that's actively continuing (we're sure to see aftereffects of the other one), I'm so glad Carlos is okay :'D, and all in all I just thought it was a super great episode :DD. Very emotional 😭😭, super dramatic, and had some comedy bits xD. I LOVED it 🥰🥰🥰😍❤️❤️.

So yeah! I absolutely loved this episode. I thought it was awesome! I'm nervous for the next one! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 4: Abandoned

It was so amazing! I'm really excited to see more of everyone next episode, though I am scared. I'll be back next week with my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 5: Human Resources

See you then!

#9-1-1 lone star #911 lone star #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #ayyy 12:35!!! I'm cool with that :D #not same day because I got carried away and also did some other stuff lol but eh :)#I'm glad I made sure to post mas's fic for today instead of trying to finish this in time lol #anyway :DD I'm happy with it 🥰🥰🥰 :))!#this I mean :))#anyway!#I will probably be thinking more about tarlos than what I put here xDD #which will most likely include screaming or monologuing/expanding/talking about my thoughts in the tags #of other posts often by accident lol xd #and maybe my own post about specific parts but idk because that's a lot of pressure /hj XD #anyway yeah :)))#carlos reyes #tk strand #tarlos #owen strand #again (I believe the same thing happened last time excpet maybe with iris too) I didn't talk much about anyone besides them xd #so I won't tag them lol #911 lone star 4x04 #9-1-1 lone star 4x04 #911 lone star season 4 episode 4 #911 lone star abandoned #911 lone star season 4 episode 4 abandoned #I love you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰 :)))!!!#byeeee :DDDD <333!!!!

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