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#not just because the stuff gets shared on socials anyway
dangerliesbeforeyou · 2 years
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can someone tell comedians that being ‘edgy’ in comedy doesnt just mean being complete cunts lol??? 
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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youngblood-valkyrie · 3 months
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Prepare... for unforseen consequences...
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andromedasummer · 1 year
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bro are any drivers from new zealand gonna like. come help with the cyclone cleanup. or even donate some money. we were in a state of emergency. people are dead. thousands are missing. entire towns are buried in silt and cut off. peoples houses are just gone. every other athlete in every other sport we compete in are showing up to help clear out houses or donate things or help fix roads. one of you went on a rant about nz covid restrictions and retweeted our most right wing party. another one of you was born in the city that was hit by the cyclone.
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curiousorigins · 1 year
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Most days I’d rather be asleep. Probably going to end up watching another sunrise. I’ll have you know I was mildly, but nothing important, productive today.
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mono-dot-jpeg · 5 months
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boy failures for u - i. yoichi, s. nagi, s. ryusei, b. meguru
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summary; in which some boys just love you so much, they simply can't function
genre/extra tags; scenarios, fluff, comedy, projecting my love for dog energy boys, they're so pathetic /pos, bachira is clumsy, ryusei is an embarrassingly horny dude (can confirm, he gets no bitches, absolutely ZERO play!!), nagi... is perfect as he is, yoichi,,,, is just socially awkward around people he has a crush on
[gender neutral reader]
a/n; look at me being fancy this one panel banner, slay. tbh i couldn't think of a good three photos to use for it so i tried this which is kind of nice. anyways i had a sudden thought hit me and it must be done. and what better anime to write for than the one where everyone has unexplainable gay tension between each other. i swear im as caught up as possible i think and i swear the gay tension is like,, crazy.
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isagi yoichi is endearing. he's so bad at being normal around you. his face flushed a cute red, and his words barely managing to leave his mouth as you talk to him so sweetly. he doesn't know how to handle a crush. and it's so cute to tease him because he just doesn't know how to respond properly.
the times where he does manage to gain enough confidence to talk a conversation with you, he's never taking the lead in any of them. he's talking [somewhat] normally to you, answering your questions and [attempting] to reply to your thoughts and responses. of course, just don't flirt with him too hard. there's like a 50 percent chance he will understand it or not.
he can't even admire you correctly. when he attempts to give you a compliment, he's saying all the wrong words and apologizing profusely like he offended your entire bloodline. he's so utterly enchanted by you, he wonders if you're an angel sent just for him.
"you're so nice, y/n." "huh?" "i-i mean you're really cute! wait- i didn't mean that! fuck- not that i don't think you look cute! you're really a great person, you know?! sorry! i'm just gonna go back to practice...!"
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nagi seishiro is so lazy that you can't help but watch over him. you understand why reo adores him (a little too much). he's a boy with pretty privilege and talent. he talks to you with such honesty that he unintentionally flirts with you. he doesn't know a lot of things well, but even he's had his fair share with understanding liking people (but that's only with the random dating sims he's tried).
when he manages to get on his feet, whether it's for a soccer match or you, he's stuck by you like a cute koala. he whines about everything being "too much of a hassle." but he finds himself walking around looking for you, no matter how far you are. he whines to you about how he had to get up to find you, and he's cuddling close to you. his mouth turned into his signature X shape as he pouts at you, annoyed that you just had to be away from him for more than a minute.
he tries so hard to be around you but at the cost of his laziness, he mutters to you about how much easier it would be if you just stay with him all the time like his purple-haired companion or his cactus pet. he fell for you first, but he makes it so easy for you to fall harder.
"why do you always have to do stuff?" "it's my job, sei." "you should just stay with me all the time. you take care of me so well."
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shidou ryuusei is annoyingly desperate for you. if isagi was endearing, shidou was insolent. he speaks before he thinks. he has no shame in chasing after you. it's quite a feat that you haven't even shooed him away as much as sae has. you sort of find a friend in sae because of that. he always rolls his eyes when you mention him. he wonders why you keep being around the blonde jock, and you tell him, "who doesn't love a pathetic man?"
when he talks to you, he just can't read a room with you in it. he's the type of guy to say "this shot is for you." and it hits the goal post and then to his face. of course he'd never actually miss in a real match but i can guarantee that it would happen during a practice match. he unintentionally humiliates himself every time he tries to be cool. if sae is there, it's even worse. he's trying to bump up the flirting up to a 200 and failing miserably to woo either of you.
he's like those tweets where it's like, "how did i pull them? easy. i just went, PLEASEPLEAPLSEPWPLEAPLELA-". without fail, he basically tries to re-enact that but he doesn't even pull you because you'd much rather wait for him to actually be a decent man and grow the rest of his brain. though it doesn't seem he'll learn his lesson anytime soon.
"did i ever tell you how hot you look right now?" "yes. you have. multiple times. today." "please go out with me." "no."
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bachira meguru is confusing. he's clingy, blunt, teasing, a little stupid but has the spirit, and an absolute cutie. he's passionate about what he likes. and surprise, surprise, he likes you. he's an infodumper but you don't mind at all. but sometimes those talks take a hard left into just telling you how much he likes you. you better hope you're strong because he will be jumping on you for a hug.
when he's just buzzing with excitement, he can't help but scramble by your side to cling onto you in any way that you will allow him to. he's not as boy failure as the others on this list because even when he fails to capture your heart, he's still succeeding in his book. he loves when you give him any sliver of attention. that's probably his thing as a boy failure. he is a hyper and needy dog who's too big to cuddle with but doesn't care. and you can't say no because then they just stare at you with those big eyes until you cave.
he's the type of guy to be confused when people ask if you're dating him and you say no. "what do you mean we're not dating? i thought this was the dating." he's never actually confessed, but he considers his "s-tier affection" to be confession enough. but he's kind of coward whether he realizes it or not. he's scared to actually say that he wants to be yours, but that's like an angsty story for another time, SO SHUT.
"what if we kissed? like right now?" "but we're not dating, meguru." "we're not? we should." "i'll think about it." "no think! just do!"
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honey-flustered · 2 months
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Along For The Ride (Part 1 of 2)
MDNI +18 Only!!
Farmer!Older!Beefy!Eddie Munson/ Mean!Bougie!Fem!Reader
Summary: A drunken joyride leads you in the midst of Eddie Munson, who’s seeking repayment for the damages made to his property by you. Fed up with your constant misbehavior, your father makes a deal with Eddie in which you will do some manual labor around his farm in exchange. You’re not too pleased with this arrangement and your differences in personalities lead to a clashing of heads…and tongues?? (8.5k words)
A/N: I have not written in ages. It is really tough being a writer with the pressures I place on myself to be perfect, to gain more likes and followers, to write things as quickly as possible. I’m learning to fall in love with writing again. It’s a slow process but someday I’ll be able to share all the great things I’ve been working on for the past year. Anyway, here is my start to starting my journey again and thank you all for supporting me.
CW: fluff and lots of angst, enemies to friends to lovers trope, SLOW BURN, age gap (Eddie 40s, Reader 20s), mean!affluent!reader, bad girl reader, light smut/eventual heavy smut, bratty!reader, ugly duckling turned swan trope, reader character development, mean friends, minor canon events from tv series (chrissy death, eddie accused of chrissy and other victims deaths), limited knowledge of farm life and work, drunk driving, consumption of marijuana and alcohol, committing of property crimes, return of reader’s ex, mentions of insecurities, descriptive and graphic language, lots of sexual tension, kissing, dry humping, eddie cums in his pants
You bellow out the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Getting Back Together” along with your three friends, not a care in the world for who would be unfortunate enough to hear you in the chilly 3 am evening. The girls pass around a bottle of tequila when your best friend, Tana, —seated in the passenger seat— attempts to pour a shot into your mouth.
“Babe, no. I drank enough at the club. The guy that asked for my number was practically throwing them at me. I had to kill a plant by pouring my drinks onto the poor thing. Men ruin everything.” You pout.
“Amen to that, sis,” Tana says, snapping her fingers. “Had a guy tell me that he thinks I’m the one for him. Turns out, he’s married with a baby on the way.”
You all playfully point your index fingers to your tongues, faking gags before leading into a giggling fit.
“I had a guy ghost me because he didn’t like me sharing my selfies on social media. Said that ‘they should only be exclusive to him’.” Your friend, Essie, shares.
“I feel like we need to get back at men for the shit they put us through,” Brooke chimes in. “I’m in the mood to make a man fall to his knees, whimpering for mercy.”
“You kinky little minx!” You laugh. “Are you trying to make men pay or are you trying to get laid?”
“Can it be both?” Brooke says, biting her acrylic-donned thumb.
“I say…” Tana calls attention to herself, raising a hand. “We choose a random house on this street to wreak our vengeance. One of the homes has to belong to a man.”
“I’m in!” Essie beams.
“Me too.” Brooke says, high fiving Tana for her devious plan.
“I don’t know, guys,” You say, reluctant to rain on their parade. “We’re pretty drunk but I don’t think we’re drunk enough to want vandalism charges. Let’s just go to one of those rage rooms and let out all this pent up energy. We could scream out female rage lines from our fave movies and break shit.”
“That’s…okay but it’s not as epic as Tana’s idea,” Essie says, leaning forward to be in better earshot range. “Come on, y/n. It’s only for tonight. You know, we’re just having some harmless girl time fun. It’s not like we’ll be breaking and entering. We’re just gonna do some silly stuff then leave. Pleeaaase. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I need this.”
You take a quick glance at the girls who all send big, puppy eyes your way. You sigh then laugh. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
They cheer at your response, knowing that they’ve won. You raise a hand to cease their cheers and they quickly go dead silent. “Since, I’m the most sober one here. We’re doing this my way,” While staring at the road ahead, a smirk slowly spreads across your face. “I get to choose the place.”
——————
The four of you sneak onto the open field, tiptoeing through the tall grass. Based on the smell wafting in the air, you are certain there are barn animals nearby.
With a nasal tone in her voice from holding her nose, Tana says, “Ugh, how could anyone work around this icky smell?”
“Shhh,” You order, putting a finger to your lips. “If we need to be quiet if this is going to be a successful in and out mission. Do you remember the plan?”
“How could I forget? It’s the most basic prank ever.” Tana whisper-yells, holding up the two rolls of toilet paper in her hands.
“It’s still a huge pain to the homeowner,” You defend confidently before letting out a wicked giggle. “He will be so inconvenienced when he wakes up in the morning.”
Tana shakes her head lovingly at you before peering to her right and left. “Umm, y/n, where’s Essie and Brooke?”
Your eyes widen as you unintelligibly peer to your right and left as well despite knowing the space is empty. “Oh shit,” You facepalm. “How could we have let them out of our sight? Who knows what those morons are doing?”
“Hew we awe,” Essie carries a ‘baby talk’ inflection as she materializes from the dark bluish night with a medium-sized pig cradled in her arms. “Evwyone meet Wilbur.”
“I’m sorry but where the hell did you get that pig?!” You say, no longer able to keep your voice to a whisper.
“The barn, obviously.” Brooke replies.
“What happened to not breaking and entering?! I take my eyes off you two for a second and you’ve already broken a handful of crimes.” You scold.
“But we’re saving him, y/n. You don’t want this pig to become bacon, do you?” Essie says, holding up the pig near your face only for it to wiggle out of her grasp and take off running.
“We’ve gotta catch that stupid fucking pig!” You yell and the girls obey. The group comically chases the animal around, slipping and sliding through mud and crops. In the chaos, the pig makes contact with the toilet paper you’ve long abandoned, tossing it around with the help of the forceful winds to guide it all over the field.
You spot the pig approaching the door of a small blue cottage. You dive forward, fully immersed in the thick mud that soiled your white tank top and denim skirt and you cared little for this fact with your concerns focused on obtaining the pig in your arms. He squeals and whines against you as you plead for its compliance.
Suddenly the porch lights turn on, shining down on you like a spotlight. The door swings open and not long after you’re forced to look into the eyes of your prosecutor from the ground.
A rugged, older man with unruly, curls of brown hair cascading down his shoulders and the deepest brown eyes that are as large as buttons. The same eyes that were now staring down angrily at you.
“What the fuck?” He says through gritted teeth. It’s not until he sees the full extent of your wrath that he decides to emphasize his previous statement with a fury of a thousand suns. “What. The. Fuck!”
You swallow hard, releasing the pig as you collect yourself off the floor. The man feels no need to check whether his pet had entered the home safely, wanting his eyes to focus on you in case you tried running.
“I-I could explain. W-we were just—”
“We?” He abruptly interrupts, upholding the gruffness in his tone.
You were afraid that he’d say that. After all, those bitches were a little too quiet for your liking. After looking behind you to confirm their abandonment, you slowly face your prosecutor once again.
Swallowing the hard lump in your throat you begin, you try scrambling for an answer. This is already a very terrifying situation. This man looked terrifying himself. He’s robust in build, littered with tattoos, and had piercings. You don’t see men like him everyday or at all on your side of town. Men usually groomed themselves like ken dolls where you come from. But when you have come across men that look like him, the experience has always been a negative one—-only this time you were the one at fault.
“I’m sorry.” You shrug with an awkward smile then tack on a “Please don’t call the cops.”
He sighs deeply. “I’m not going to call the cops…”
“Oh, thank god.” You sigh in relief, a hand to your beating chest.
“You’re going to call your parents,” He finishes. “And you are going to tell them that we’re going to come up with a solution for this or I will be calling the police.”
“Oh, fuuuck.” You groan.
————-
“I’m so very sorry, sir. Truly,” Your father says after profusely apologizing for the 7th time since his arrival. “She’s been acting out a lot ever since she’d gone away to university. My wife and I don’t know this girl but she is not the y/n we raised.”
You roll your eyes at the comment, texting away at your friends who wanted to know the details of your capture. Meanwhile, you’re too busy cursing them out to care about how badly you’ll be punished for this.
“I’m just glad things didn’t get any worse or when someone could’ve seriously ended up getting hurt.” The farmer says, staring pointedly at you.
“Now I was thinking…though I could very well pay for the trouble and we could be out of your hair, I’m a man that likes to go above and beyond when it comes to taking responsibility. My daughter’s exceedingly aware of this fact about myself,” Your father scoots his seat up closer to the table, fingers together as if proposing a business plan. “It appears that you might need some temporary assistance in tending to your farm work. If you’re looking for an extra set of hands to help with some manual labor for the next two weeks, my daughter is happy to oblige.”
“Excuse me!” You say, attention fully invested in the conversation. “Tell me you're joking.”
“Nope. You are grounded. Meaning that though you are visiting for spring break, you are currently under my roof, my rules. I am still your parent after all. To clarify, there will be no going out with your friends. You are to come straight to
Mr. Munson’s farm every day after your time at your mother’s shop. You’ll help the gentleman around with whatever he asks of you.” Your father explains.
“And what if I don’t?” You ask, defiant.
“Then you’ll be cut off and you’ll have to earn money on your own.”
“Y-you m-mean a j-job?” You ask, horrified.
“Exactly.” Your father confirms.
You stare wide-eyed at farmer Munson who has a prominent smirk on his face. “I like the sound of that, sir. You’re a good man.”
You shriek in anger. “You’re the worst!”
You furiously stomp out of the home, hating your life and men once again.
————
Your father had no doubts that you’d be going to work on the farm once he’d threaten to take away your (his) money. When you arrive at the address, you’re immediately reminded how you're not on your side of town anymore. It’s officially Hickville.
Reluctantly knocking on the door, you hope that Eddie won’t answer the door, praying that he’s changed his mind and took the money instead. Unfortunately, he answers the door with a huge smile in contrast to your deadpan demeanor.
“Oh, come on, lighten up, sugar. I made some of my famous iced tea ahead. One taste and it’ll all seem worth it.”
“It’s not fair!” You rant, pushing passed him. “Why am I being the only one punished? This was all Brooke’s idea. And Essie was the one who stole the goddamn pig.”
“His name is Wilbur,” Eddie corrects. “And who are we talking about exactly?”
“Doesn’t matter,” You sigh. “Bad things always happen to good people.”
“I’ll say.” Eddie says, staring you down.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“You really think you’re the victim in all of this?”
“Are you?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t we check out the lovely view of the TP’d trees blowing in the wind?” He asks sarcastically, gesturing to his window.
“It’s just a little toilet paper. Never had a little prank done on you.”
“Wow,” He feigns a smile, shaking his head at you. “Your audacity to diminish all the negative things you’ve done to me into the spirit of good fun is astounding.”
“My therapist did always say I have a knack for looking at things on the bright side.” You retort.
“Is that so?” He asks mockingly. “Well then, you’re gonna love this special job I have for you.”
—————
Which leads you to the situation you’re in now. You’re staring into the eyes of a cow whose large brown eyes kind of reminded you of farmer Munson except they actually held kindness in them and not pure disdain.
“There’s no way I’m milking this thing. I have no idea how to do that,” You say, prompting Eddie to raise a suggestive eyebrow at you. “You know what I mean, pervert.”
Suddenly, an idea clicked in your head. Maybe you could use this ‘pervert’ thing to your advantage. He’s obviously single or he wouldn’t be this much of a crab. You can easily seduce him and get out of doing anything!
“Mr. Munson,” You say with a purr in your voice as you press yourself up against him. “I’m actually really good at milking other things after all. You’ve got me pegged at that. Maybe…I can show you just how skillful my mouth and hands can be for you.”
He laughs. He fucking chuckles in your face. How fucking dare he?! “That was rich. Seriously, that performance was just…moving. You can try to sway me with sex all ya want, hun. Trust me there are women and men who’ve tried,” He slightly narrows the gap between your faces, staring you down. “I don’t buckle under that kinda pressure, sugar. It’ll take a lot more than salacious words to make my dick jump. Now why don’t we go back to the task at hand, shall we?”
You’re fuming. This asshole really thinks he can get away with making you out to be a fool. Well, two could play that game. You’re going to make his existence for the next two weeks feel like a total nightmare.
He seats you on a small stool beside the cow before instructing you on how to milk her. You halfheartedly reach for an udder, shrieking at the feel of it between your fingers.
“This is so gross!” You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’m going to disassociate and imagine that I’m in a niche boutique in Manhattan.”
“Ah, spending daddy’s money even in your dreams. How thoughtful.” He mutters.
“You have no right to judge me just because you think I’m privileged.” You snap.
“I don’t ‘think’ you’re privileged. You are privileged. See the difference?”
You tug on an udder, purposefully targeting him as the milk drenches him. His face puckers his face before staring daggers at you.
“Oops.” You say in a sickeningly sweet tone.
——————
You begrudgingly enter your house key into the doorknob, body aching from the day's work. The moment you enter, your father’s happy-go-lucky spirit engulfs you and it takes everything in you not to explode.
“Hey, honey, how was your first day?”
“Question, father,” You begin, calling him the formal term instead of “papa” or “dad”. “Do you love me?”
“Now what kind of silly question is that?” He reverts back with his own question, befuddled.
“I’m just curious because I don’t think a father who truly loves their daughter would ever put her through the kind of hell I just went through today.” You respond.
“You milked a cow,” Your teenager brother, Aspen, enters the dining room before beginning a dramatic act. “Someone save the poor girl! She’s gaining new life experiences! You are such primadonna.”
“Shut up, ya little twerp.” You say, pulling his hoodie over his face.
“Your brother’s right, dear,” Your father says. “You are being really dramatic. I don’t get it. You never used to be this way. You loved reading books and conducting personal science experiments and geeking out over your favorite movies—”
“That just isn’t me anymore, dad. The sooner you accept that, the better it is for us all.” You grumble.
He decides to drop the topic in favor of keeping the peace for the dinner your mom prepared for the family to enjoy as a unit. But your mind couldn’t help but to wander back to those times where you were seen as a nerd and bullied for being different and having different interests. University was a different story though. There, you were able to reinvent yourself into the hot bad bitch you know today.
But why is it that your father’s words resonated so much with you? Had it been because it wasn’t the makeover or the new friends and partners you’d make along the way…it was the fact that he knew that you, yourself, couldn’t believe your own act. He knows that you're lying to yourself about liking the person you’ve become. No way could ever admit such a thing to him. And it’s not like you’d feel this way forever. Once you’re done with this hell labor with Eddie “The Devil” Munson, you can go back to your popular life.
————
The routine continued including your constant pushback. It went: shadowing your mother for the day with her bridal clients, heading over to the Munson farm soon after, non stop bickering between the two of you for 2 hours, then heading back home to soak your aching body and curse out the world.
Today is no different with the task of you grooming the stupid pig that got you into this mess in the first place.
“Wilbur. His name’s—”
“I know!” You shout at him, gathering the metal pail and wooden brush from the table. You grumpily made your way to the backyard of the home in search of the shed supposedly carrying the soap to clean the pig. When you notice Wilbur rushes out of a trailer home stationed in the backyard. “Hey, get back here!”
The pig is long gone and you don't care to chase after it once your interest is piqued by the mystery home in the backyard. Searching around to make sure there were no signs of Mr. Munson, you enter the place cautiously.
It’s as if the trailer had been stuck in the 1980s. Everything is vintage and old looking but also well kept. You see photos of the younger Eddie Munson scattered around the walls of the home and—-though you hate to admit it—he was just as handsome as he is now. In some of the photos including one pinned to the fridge by a magnet, you can see an older man. Maybe his father.
Your eye catches an old poetry assignment also pinned to the fridge with a large ‘C+’ above it. A little note at the top explaining his grade being contributed to some misspellings and some inappropriate language despite the good work.
You raise the paper to your eyes and read:
If I Were A Hobbit
If I were a hobbit, I’d be so free
I’d frolic in the grass and smoke some trees
With furry feet and a merry heart
From adventure’s call, I’d never depart
With Bilbo’s tales, I’d while away time.
In the beautiful land of Middle Earth’s rhyme
I’d wander the fields beneath the sun
I’d travel it world cause it’s all in good fun
If I were a hobbit, maybe I wouldn’t get laid
But, hey, it’s goddamn worth the price I paid
You giggle, amused at how fun Mr. Munson had been long ago. You wonder what could’ve happened. Immersed in the poem, you were unaware of his arrival until he whispered haughtily into your ear.
“We’re continuing the trend of breaking and entering, I see.”
You jolt away, facing him. “I-I’m sorry. But you said that I had to look for a shed. Should be more specific.”
“This looks like a shed to you, sugar?”
“Trailer…shed…it’s no different.”
He chuckles dryly. “You are a piece of work.”
“Look who’s talking? You know, you seemed a lot more fun when you were a teenager.” You comment, holding up the poem.
“Give me that,” He yanks from your hands, placing it back on the fridge. “Ain’t anyone ever tell you it’s wrong to go snooping around people’s things. Wait, who am I kidding? I met your father. Even if he were to have taught you these things, you’d probably go against him.”
“You’re a pain in my ass.” You hiss.
“Right back atcha, sweetheart.” He retorts.
“Then, I hope you don’t mind if I continue to do so.” You say, pushing past him to go into the hallway.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks, hot on your trail.
You enter a bedroom and it’s another blast from the past. The typical kind of teenage boy bedroom. It’s no shock to you that he's a metalhead. You begin to rummage through his collection.
“You little brat,” He huffs. “I’m too old to be dealing with this shit!”
“Live a little,” You say, popping in a blues cassette into the radio. “Dance with me.”
He stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed as you begin to dance in circles around him. Your boot kicks up a newspaper article crumpled up on the ground and you go to retrieve it, ignoring Eddie’s protests.
It is an article about 15 years ago that expresses Eddie Munson’s exoneration in the death of Chrissy Cunningham and him receiving only a $50,000 settlement. It also goes into detail that his only known immediate family and caretaker, Wanye Munson, had died just a month before his release.
“Oh my god, Mr. Munson. I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” You trail off, knowing what to say or even where to begin.
“It’s all in the past now,” He sighs. “Besides, I’m fine now. I still have my friends. They are like family. They’ve got their own lives but when they can they check on me. That’s more than enough.”
Without thinking, your arms curl around his body and for the first time you get to feel his body against yours and it’s addicting. He tenses for a moment, unsure whether this is okay but eventually he melts into your embrace.
His beefy arms cradle you, a large hand resting atop your head. Your heartbeats fall in sync with one another’s and you allow yourself the brief moment to nuzzle into his chest, the chest hairs peeking above his tank top tickles the tip of your nose.
You dare to look him in the eyes, seeing them already looking down at you. They were wet with unshed tears, pleading with you for something. It’s the first time you’ve seen that look on his face and like a magnet you're drawn to it. You’re suddenly moving on your own accord, tiptoeing to brush your nose against his. He lowers his face to your level. Your lips are only a mere centimeters from his full ones when the sound of his phone ringing takes you both out of the moment.
He’s quick to pull away as if freed from an intense spell. Excusing himself, he leaves the room and heads outside. You’re left standing in the room alone, the soft, rhythmic melody of blues playing in the background.
Willing yourself to cool down, you decide to go on with your original task and find Wilbur while hoping it’ll shake off the electric feeling he left on your skin.
————————-
Bathing the pig proved to be quite the distraction because this little shit is making you use all your brain power to keep it still. Having stripped into just your bikini and rainboots, you held the pig for dear life as you washed and scrubbed at him and practically yourself.
You notice Eddie from the corner of your eye, stifling laughter as he leaned against a nearby tree.
“By the way, I’ve already washed off all the barn animals, tended to my crops, and was able to make myself a sandwich in the meantime. You, however, you’re still working on Wilbur. Or should I say, he’s working you.”
“Hardee har har,” You say, unamused. “Will you just help me with this pig?”
“Alright, alright,” He says, heading over to you. The pig immediately jumps from his grasp and into your arms. “It’s all in the technique.”
“Easy for you to say. He already knows you.” You grumble.
“Now what you’re gonna want to do is come up behind him. He's a big fella so in order to hold him down you’ll need to straddle him like this and place your hands down firmly on his back. That way he’ll know to stay put,” Eddie says getting into position, his boots digging in the dirt for some leverage. “He’ll tussle with ya a little but it’s only because he’s not used to being handled by other humans. He’s still a little frantic with me even after all these years. I saved him from the slaughterhouse so it comes with the territory.”
“You mean you weren’t going to turn him into bacon?”
“No, sugar, Wilbur’s family. Now get up on here with me. Don’t put too much of your weight on him. Only just enough to hold him down.” He instructs.
You follow suit, straddling the pig and placing your hands over Eddie’s before looking back over your shoulder at him. “Like this?”
“Just like that, sugar. You’re a natural. See? Now I’m just gonna go ahead and get up and you’ll take the—”
“What? No, don’t leave me! He’ll just shake me off again.” You protest.
Sure enough, the pig began to shake the both of you off its back, side to side until you both fell back into the soil. You fall right into Eddie’s lap and he instinctively grips your hips hard, causing you to let out a yelp and scramble out of his grasp.
You sat on your knees, looking at him with wide eyes and he returned with the same expression. The blush on his face intensifies and you follow the way his hands rush to pull the cowboy hat from his head to hold against his lap.
He quickly looks away from you, clearing his throat.
“You’ve got—erm, your bikini bra…” You’ve never seen him so flustered. So speechless. You eish you could relish in it but when you realize exactly what he’s insinuating, you feel your cheeks begin to heat up as you wish the world will swallow you whole.
Your tit is hanging out for the world to see. A fucking nipple slip! Why did God cease at nothing to make you the butt of every joke?
You briskly adjust your bra, shaking in your boots. The itching desire to run heavy on your mind.
“I-I s-should go,” Your shaky legs somehow allow you to stand as you peer down at him. “Have a good evening, Mr. Munson.”
You stiffly power walk your way to the small cottage home to gather your discarded clothes on the porch. Eddie’s large hand rests on your shoulder.
“Wait! I can’t send you off like this. You’ll track mud in your car.”
“It’s not like I haven’t done that before.” You scoff.
“Why don’t you shower here and I’ll offer you some fresh clothes? I’ll be making my stir fry in case you're hungry.”
“You being nice to me all of a sudden, Mr. Munson?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. “Can’t help but think there’s some kind of hidden agenda.”
He smiles a genuine 100-watt smile. “No, sugar. I’m just extending some needed hospitality is all.”
—————
You pull on the long sleeved t-shirt Eddie offered you, studying its logo. A horned demon, swords, dice and so on.
“It’s my old high school club t-shirt.” He says, coming to sit beside you on the couch.
“You were in a Dungeons and Dragons club?”
“You know D’N’D?”
“Know it?! I loved that game.” You say, excitedly.
“I didn’t think kids in your generation still played that game.” He laughs.
“Oh, yeah,” You nod. “I was a dungeon master. My campaigns were fire. Anyone who’d joined my games would always go around telling their friends to come see me in action.”
“No way! I was a dungeon master, too! I took it a little too seriously at times but it was like my second passion,” He looks you up and down. “I would have never thought someone like you would be into that kinda stuff.”
“I’ll ignore your sly comment to clarify that I wasn’t always like this back in high school.”
“What do you mean?” He asks.
“Well, you heard my dad. I used to be a goody two-shoes. A nerd. And I even dressed the part, too. The old me would’ve totally geeked at your Hobbit poem. I’m different now though.”
“What’s so wrong about being a nerd?” He inquires, scooting closer to you.
“I used to get bullied everyday. Boys would ignore me. Even the geeks would only ever see me as a friend. When I got to university, that all changed. Everyone wanted me.”
“I think if I’d known you then, we’d probably be good friends.”
“Yeah right. I seemed like the bad boy type who falls for the cheerleader. You wouldn’t have looked twice in my direction.”
“No,” Eddie says firmly, staring you intensely in the eyes. “I would see you.”
He repeats for emphasis. “I see you.”
You swallow the hard lump in your throat, choking back tears. You’ve never felt so vulnerable. It’s strange to be so open with a man who 5 days ago you would have choked with your bare hands.
“Besides,” He says, breaking the silence. “I think it’s you who would have ignored me. I’m not the bad boy you think I am. Sure, I was a bit of a troublemaker here and there. But I was a huge geek, too. Hadn’t even lost my virginity until age 36. A year after my release. No girl wanted to fuck me back in high school. I was ‘the freak’. To some people today, I still am one regardless if I’m innocent.”
“I would’ve believed you’re innocent. I’d have been by your side, too. Us, geeks, have to stick together, yeah?”
He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah.”
There’s that magnetic pull again. The attraction that makes you want to be as close to him as possible. You resist not wanting to make that move again but he takes the initiative, leaning in further only this time you're interrupted once again with the sound of your phone ringing. You throw a silent fit in your head. Eddie’s just as frustrated, expelling a long duration of air from his nose.
“Hello.” You say, answering the phone.
“Hey, baby,” A familiar voice says on the line. “It’s been months. I still think about our time in Venice and this spring fever is only making it harder to ignore.”
Now the memories come flooding in. It’s an ex-fling you met while studying abroad in Italy during your freshman year of university. The man who’d taken your virginity and showed you the ropes to popularity. The moment you left Italy you expected him to call you back but he immediately ghosted you. From then on, you became the maneater you are today.
“What do you want?”
You, of course. I hear you are back in your hometown. Luckily for you, I am doing some research here and I was wondering—-“
“Luckily for me? Are you on drugs, Stefan? I don’t care if you want me. You could forget my number and then you’ll forget me. Have a goodnight.” You quickly hang up the call, ignoring his pleas.
“Is everything alright?” Eddie asks, noticing the way you’re hyperventilating.
“I am now,” You sigh. “That was my ex. He was also my first. He treated me like shit made me feel stupid and like I needed him as if he created me. And back then, I felt like I did need him. Then he ghosted me. It felt good to give him a piece of my mind although I wish I could have said more.”
“I think you said enough. I’m certain you hit him where it hurts.” He laughs.
“I should probably go.” You say, standing up from the couch to grab your coat.
“What happened to staying for dinner?” He asks.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Munson”
“Eddie. You can call me Eddie.”
“Eddie,” You say, testing his name on your tongue. You’re not exactly sure if you’re ready to be this informal with him despite your almost kisses and the boob slip incident. “I’m sorry but his call has left me shaken. I think I need to be in the company of my girls.”
“You mean, the girls who got you into trouble and left you behind? The ones your parents warned you to stay away from?”
“Come on, dude, I need this. It’s not like you can give me great advice about guys.”
“I could. Considering I am one.”
“Well, I don’t think we’re close enough for that kind of session.”
“We just had this whole heart to heart. I thought we were seeing some improvement in our friendship.” Eddie says.
“We’re friends?”
“Us, geeks, stick together?”
“That’s just an oath. Doesn’t exactly confirm a friendship between us.”
He exhales deeply, trying to contain his anger. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t mind if I tell your father about your little hangout.”
“Are you blackmailing me?” Your eyes narrow at him.
“That would suggest that I’d be getting anything of value out of this which I wouldn’t be. Therefore, no this isn’t blackmail but it is definitely a threat. I don’t care if we’re friends. I don’t care to be your friend, sugar. But as the more responsible adult between us, I think it’s within our best interest that you don’t hang out with the people who cause you to commit crimes. So, I think I’ll be taking you home, hmm?”
“And what about my car?”
“I’ll take good care of it for tonight. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for your next job.” He smiles smugly.
If looks could kill, he’d be 7 feet under and you’d already be in hell.
————
Eddie pulls up to the front of your house. The whole ride there had been silent. You angrily gather your things, hurriedly trying to exit his van.
“Have a goodnight, sugar!” He shouts as you slam the door in his face.
Once you’re inside, you do the routine process of angrily ranting out your annoyance with farmer Munson while stomping angrily up the stairs. Your family used to this by now simply goes about business as usual.
You dial up Tana and after a couple rings she answers. “Hey, bitch! I was just about to text you the news. Did you hear who’s in town?”
“Yeah, Stefan, I know. How’d you know?”
“He's been calling me nonstop asking for you. Says he wants to talk to you.”
“I already did. Told him to fuck off,” You say. “And I thought I’d feel a lot better about it but I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get to stomp on his weirdly-shaped small dick.”
“Oh, yeeahh. I remember the dick pic he sent you. It is weird, isn’t it? Like an undeveloped banana. Anywho…you wanna get high at my place and watch America’s Next Top Model reruns. I’ve got Jell-O shots.” She singssongs the last statement.
“I can’t remember. I’m on lockdown,” You sigh. “If I get into any more trouble or I might as well hand over a contract of my soul to the devil.”
“Bitch, you are a grown woman. These are the best years of our lives where we’re supposed to live it to the fullest. Sneak out! I’m coming over to pick you up.”
“Tana, n—” But she’s already hung up the call. Sometimes, you really hate this girl. With no choice, you’re forced to make a plan.
Firstly, you create a human-shaped pile in your bed, disguising it with your comforter. Next, you’ll be climbing out of your window and quietly land on your lawn. Finally, you enter your friend’s car and you’ll be homefree.
Although, the climb is a lot more daunting than you anticipated. It seemed like a lot of a higher jump from where you are standing. Tana’s car pulls in and she rushes out to jump up and wave, whisper-yelling to encourage you to do it.
“Tana, this is fucking crazy. You always make me do crazy shit.” You yell down at her.
“But it’s all for the sake of fun experiences.” She retorts. “Come on and jump. Be the bad bitch, you are. Think for a second. WWBD: What would Beyonce do?”
“She'd probably fire you as a friend.” You growl.
“Fair enough.”
“Okay, I’m ready to jump. Just be ready to catch me.”
“What?” Before Tana could register what you meant, you jumped, hurtling into her arms and straight to the ground.
“Huh, that wasn’t so bad.” You smile.
“Yeah, because I’m the one breaking your fall.” Tana groans.
“Payback’s a bitch, love.”
—————
“So, is the farmer plowing your garden?” Tana asks, while applying mascara to your eyelashes.
“Tana!”
“What? That’s got to be the only reason you’re officially over Stefan.” She says.
“I was already over Stefan. Eddie’s just my headache.”
“You’re on first name bases with him. Oh, you are definitely fucking him.”
“I’m not!” You insist.
“And did you say Eddie? That’s the infamous Eddie Munson. How could I have not seen the connection? He’s so hot. Is that okay to say about a murderer?”
“He’s not a murderer.” You quickly defend him causing Tana to raise her hands in surrender.
“Yikes, I’m sorry I didn't mean to offend your friend.”
“He’s not my…well, he is. But…he’s not a murderer. He never killed her. I did some digging on the internet and this town used to be really strange back then. Not how it is now. I don’t know but the circumstances in all the deaths that happened back in ‘86 are all too weird. No human could do the things that I’ve seen done to those corpses.”
“Bummer. Guess we’ll never know who did it. I hear people who know of this case still harass him to this day. It’s no wonder he practically lives off the grid.” Tana sighs. A knock at her front door leads her away and you’re alone to ponder your thoughts.
An overwhelming need to comfort Eddie hits you as you thought back to the moment he’d asked you to stay for dinner. You assumed it was all a ploy to get into your pants but now you realize that he’d genuinely enjoyed the little company he’d gotten.
You hear Tana’s footsteps and a set of another coming up the stairs and before you could get a chance to tell her that you’ll be leaving, she enters the room with your ex.
“What the hell is this?” You sneer.
“I just thought maybe you should hear him out.” Tana says with an anxious smile.
“I’m out of here.” You say, grabbing your jacket from her bed.
“Where are you going? Your car’s not here.” Tana rushes down the stairs after you.
“I’ll walk!” You hiss over your shoulder, pulling the door open where you’re unfortunately met with the presence of your father, brother, and the devil himself.
“Mr. Munson? Dad? What the hell are you all doing here?”
“Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Your father says.
Stefan steps out from behind you, handing you a piece of paper. “I can see that it is a bad time, mi cara. Please, call me when you can. It’s a new number since you’ve blocked my old one.”
With that, he acknowledges the men before him with a nod and leaves. It’s not lost on you that Eddie stares him down with a dirty look on his face before his eyes land back on you.
“If I could just explain...” You begin.
“No, y/n, I’m sick of your excuses. You sneak off at night to god knows where. You reek of pot and booze. Is this the type of example you want to set for your younger brother? He’ll be graduating next year. Should anticipate that his time in university will consist of lollygagging around instead of focusing on his career?”
You look over to your brother who, instead of carrying a smirk, he had a look of genuine concern for you.
“I was just having fun.”
“Is that all you can think about? When did fun require drugs and alcohol and committing crimes?! Fun for you used to be attending cosplaying conventions, not vandalizing properties and drunk driving.”
“Well, I’m not that anymore so you could fucking stop clinging to the past.” You yell.
Your father is taken aback and you could faintly see the waterline rising in his eyes. “Get in the car. Now!”
You shoot Eddie an angry look. “Us, geeks, stick together? Forget anything I ever said about believing in you.”
Your heart twinges at the shattered look on his face at your statement. No longer wanting to see the extent of your blow, you brush past him and follow your father’s command.
“As for you, young lady,” your father points to Tana. “I will be in touch with your parents regarding your misconduct.”
Tana’s mouth drops in complete shock at this revelation and for a moment you actually are proud of your dad.
————-
You plop yourself onto your bed, crying your eyes out. Not even really crying for yourself but for Eddie. How could you have been so cruel to him? All for the reason that he cares enough about you to make sure you aren’t getting into trouble. There’s no way he’d ever forgive you for the way you spoke to him.
A knock on your door calls to your attention. You reluctantly answer, knowing you’ll be getting yet another punishment. You’re surprised to find your brother, Aspen, at the door.
“What do you want, twerp?” You say.
“You should really apologize to dad. You made him cry. I’ve never seen him like that.” He says.
“I know. It’s just that I hate when people remind me that I was…a loser. I didn’t mean to be so awful to him, though.”
“You were never a loser. In fact, I used to think you were pretty cool. I wanted to be comfortable in my weirdness as you were. I’m happy that you’re finding yourself and all. But you don’t have to change who you are to appease anyone. Not even dad. It’s your life, sis. If you like drinking and partying, that’s okay. If you like reading nerdy books and cosplaying, that’s okay, too. As long as it’s something you want to do and not something you do to make people like you. So stop acting like you’re some psycho fembot that wants to spend the rest of her life in and out of jail.”
“Wow, Aspen, I’m impressed. I did not know you could speak incoherent sentences.” You tease, pulling him into a hug.
“Fuck off.” He laughs, struggling to free from your tight embrace.
————
The next day, after some time to think of your apologies. You began with your father. He admitted to you that he was scared of the thought of you growing up and not needing him and let’s just say that the two of you ended up bawling in each other’s arms and confessing your love and appreciation for one another by the end of it. Your busy event planner mother stumbled into the scene both heartwarmed and confused.
The next one is going to be a tough one for you. But you felt prepared with a handy long written note in your hand in case you needed to find the right words.
However, the moment you arrived on his farm and were met with the look of indifference on his face, you began to break down sobbing. Hard. The thought letter long abandoned to the ground.
His demeanor immediately softens, placing a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.
“I-I’m s-so sorry….you…friend…mean…,” You gasp an unintelligible apology through your tears. “Bitchy…geeks…believe you…stupid pig Wilbur…never would have met a great man like youuuu.”
He gives you a small smile, pulling you into his embrace. “I know, I know.”
“Understand?” You ask.
“Yes, sugar. I understand what you said. Crystal clear.”
“Accept?”
“Yes, I accept your apology.” Eddie laughs.
“You don’t hate me?”
“I never hated you. Even when you’re being an annoying brat. ” He says.
“Good,” You sniffle, pulling away from him to wipe your tears and compose yourself. “I’m happy we’re friends again.”
“Friends? Who said anything about friends?” He quips before patting your shoulder. “Yeah, we’re friends again.”
“Now you could get to work and then later you can make me that stir fry that I've been dying to try.” You beam, skipping into his home.
“Only if you’re a good girl.” He challenges.
For the day, the two of you would groom the horses together. Of course, you were still quite jumpy and the bougie princess he knows you to be but it was nothing he didn’t find amusing about it anyway.
“You should seriously take a look at my note though. I really thought out all the things I had to say for you. My weeping apology was only the tip of the iceberg.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think anything in that note will top that moment but I’ll take your word for it.”
“Read it when you’re alone though. I don’t want to see your face when you read it.”
“Why?”
“Because I know you’ll be all smug about.” You say, rolling your eyes.
“And you say you hardly know me,” He chuckles then switches to a serious, gruff tone. “So…Stefan…he’s a looker. Thinking about going back on your word to end things with him.”
You laugh. “I’m playing it by ear. He says he’s changed but that’s every jerks’ favorite line.”
“Just let him know that if he ever hurts you, I’ll kick his ass.” He threatens.
You step into Eddie’s space, his face flushes at the close proximity. Your hand raises up to cradle his heated cheek. “You couldn’t hurt a fly, Edward Allan Munson.”
Lost in your eyes, he fails to notice you tug the joint nuzzled behind his ears. Until you raise it up to his face with a knowing smile. “You smoke weed?”
“Baby, I used to be a dealer. In fact, I still grow my own supply.”
“No way.”
“Oh yeah. Maybe I was the freak but those jocks and cheerleaders were begging for a piece of my supply.”
“You wouldn’t mind if we smoke this one together.” You suggest.
“After your father chewed you out for it last night?”
“He knows I do it. And I learned this morning, after our heart-to-heart, that he was once a pothead, too. And now that I know that you are also a pothead, not only does this confirm my personal theory that most people smoke weed but also this makes our friendship so much more interesting.”
“You’re starting to throw that whole ‘friendship’ word around a lot more enthusiastically now.”
“My friend’s a dealer. I’m going to take full advantage of that.” You loop your arm around his guiding him to an empty stable so you can both fall against the hay.
He picks the hay from his hair, laughing. “I don’t even have a lighter and the fumes are not safe for the animals.”
“Babe,” You say almost insulted. “I always carry a lighter. You never know when you’ll find yourself in an impromptu smoke session or possibly get lost in the middle of the woods. Besides, we released the animals into the field for their little recess. We’re the only animals left here. Just you and me.”
“Alright, fine I guess we’re doing this. Don’t tell your dad about this, though. This will just be a one time thing.”
“Mhm, yeah sure, bud,” You say nonchalantly, busying yourself with lighting the joint. You hand over the joint to him and he protests, wanting you to take the first hit. You oblige. “It’s your joint. Don’t you know the rules? The one who bringeth, smoke..eth.”
“You wanted it badly so I let you take it first.”
“I didn’t want it ‘badly’. I’m not a fucking addict,” You laugh, bellowing out a puff of smoke. “I just thought it’d be a nice bonding moment. Wanna see how you get when you’re high.”
“It’s nothing special. I’m the same as I am now.” He shrugs.
“You mean, ‘a stick in the mud’?”
He bumps you with his shoulder causing you to lay back against the hay.
“You jerk, I just pick all that out of my hair.”
“Serves you right. Now hand me the joint. You’re hogging it,” He tries to reach for it but you raise it above your head. “You’re such a tease.
He attempts to reach for it again, falling on top of you. His full weight on your body is so damn delicious it takes everything in you not to moan. It doesn’t help that the weed has heightened your senses making you feel EVERYTHING. The way his hot breath feels tickling your neck along with the way his curls on his head gently caress your skin as he reaches for the joint. He seems oblivious to the state he leaves you in even after he’s gotten it until he lets out a puff of smoke in the air then looks back down at you once again. It’s evident he can see the darkened lust in your eyes because of the way his adam’s apple bobs in his throat. He suddenly feels so thirsty and it isn’t because of the weed.
Afraid a moment like this will be interrupted once again, you lunge forward attacking his lips. He’s caught fullg by surprise, a strangled moan swallowed up in your frenzied fit of passion. You’re the one controlling the kiss, forcing him to roll on his back so you can grind down on the sizable erection in his jeans. The friction from the fabric of your lace underwear and the rough denim of his jeans are an undefeated combination against your puffy clit, sending flood after flood of your wetness to pool between your legs.
The kisses are sloppy. Your hands are everywhere; in his hair, yanking his shirt for dear life. His hands cup your face before entwining in your hair then they’re around your neck, unable to keep them still because he’d like to feel every part of you just as you wish to do to him. Every so often growls would escape your lips as you grind harder and harder against him.
“Fuck, Eddie, you feel so fucking good.” You whisper desperately into his ear.
“So do you, sugar. Ain’t even inside you yet and I’m already about to blow.” He groans, sweaty forehead pressed against your own.
“Can I fuck you, Mr. Munson?” You plead.
And the whine Eddie lets out confirms that it won’t be happening anytime soon. You look between your bodies, seeing the dark, wet patch on his jeans then back up at him.
He’s obviously embarrassed. “I’m sorry. It’s been a while.”
“That’s okay. Um, this was…this was really spontaneous.” You don’t immediately get off, wanting more and hoping he’d give you more so that he can make you cum, too.
Instead he grabs you by waist, lifting you off him in a hurry. “I’m sorry. I need to—-this was a mistake.”
And once again, he leaves you to your thoughts. All you could do is stare as he grew smaller and smaller in the distance, while you began to feel smaller and smaller on the inside.
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701 notes · View notes
clamorybus · 2 years
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i love both my dogs but maya is such a good girl
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daisygirlwrites · 1 year
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Task Force 141 + Reader (Callsign-Crash): friendship headcanons
a/n: Hello hello! Just some random headcanons that I had written down for Crash and her relationships with the members of the 141 team. Nothing romantic, just some wholesome stuff.
original gif by @collinnmckinley
also, this is really freaking long, sorry in advance. enjoy reading! 
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Before getting thrown out the window and getting her callsign, she was quiet and shy around the group. Opting to listen to others conversations, rarely adding to it.
Honestly intimidated with how tightly knit the team is, and given her previous team’s history, she was scared to get close.
Volunteered to be the DD whenever the group goes out to a bar. Fortunately, most of the time, Ghost is sober(enough) to help her get everyone into the car and into their rooms
Would silently comfort Soap and Gaz whenever they threw up, rubbing their backs and getting them water.
In the mornings after, she got everyone a breakfast burrito. Soap and Gaz are eternally grateful. Got a little information about her when they asked why she got them food. “Help with my hangovers during college.” Soap and Gaz gave each other a look as she walks away
After the window incident, Crash becomes a lot more open. Seeing how they treat her as if she has been with them for years, it wasn’t fair to them with how closed off she was.
Soap:
He talks to you a lot and you don’t mind. He just comes out and starts rambling on whatever he has interested him at that moment. You don’t really say anything, just sitting there awkwardly (because why would he want to talk to the newbie instead of his friends) but nodding to what he says anyways. One time though, he looks at you and says “Thanks for listening to me. It’s nice to have someone not tell me to ‘Shut the fuck up Mactavish.’”
Literally you after he tells you this:
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“you’re my friend now. we’re having soft tacos later” vibes
Would send him memes and funny videos whenever you guys are on leave
His contact name on your phone is “Bubbles”
Would show you how to make bombs out of random shit. Set them off in bare fields or abandon buildings. Had a couple close calls
Will let you call him Johnny but you call him Mac instead.
“Aww, why not, lassie?”
“I’d rather not get my ass beat by your boyfriend.”
Calls you Lassie along with your callsign. When he wants to piss you off, he calls you Mini Ghost or Little Ghost
Like Ghost, you rarely take off your balaclava and tactical glasses
“The mask, take it off.”
“Nah, I don’t wanna.”
“You ugly?”
“Not as ugly as you old man.”
Has yet to seen you drunk though and he intends to get you there some day
Holds his hand when he’s throwing up
You would use him as a pillow during rides back to the base
The first person to tell him about any drama that’s happening in your life
Gives you advice about men
"Men are stupid, trust me, I am one."
Loves it when you would go on ramblings about the things you like. Anime confuses the hell out of him but he would always ask you about the plot and your favorite characters. He’d ask you about the current artist you listen to and has a list of recommendations from you so he could look them up when he gets home
After a mission gone wrong and believing that it was his fault, you seek him out, finding him sitting alone in the meeting room. You tell him
“It’s going to be okay. I trust you, John.”
He tears up and you wrap your arms around him.
Gaz:
With you two being the youngest, you bond over similar experiences
Sometimes share exactly one brain cell with each other. Sometimes you, Gaz and Soap share a brain cell
Brings out the chaotic gen z energy of each other
Your guys’ energy:
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Follows each other on social media and would send each other tiktoks at ungodly hours
Kind of have a competition against each other to see who’s Price’s favorite child is
Gaz finally has someone who he can talk about anime with
Favorite shows to watch together: Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo  and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure
Similar music taste. The whole team listens to Queen, David Bowie, Pink Floyd and a few more others. However, Gaz and Crash have the same love of rap and indie pop. Anything they find on tiktok will be added to their shared Spotify playlist.
Gaz would ask about how college was like. He thought about going but ultimately for him, the military was the better option
“Were you part of a sorority?”
“Oh hell no. Loved going to the parties though. Always had top shelf vodka.”
“Really? Thought students couldn’t afford it.”
“When it comes to alcohol, we find a way.”
Share the same sentiment of feeling like they’re not doing enough in the team. After a particularly rough mission, you two would find a corner and just sit together in silence.
Would break the silence by quoting something from vine or tiktok and all things would be okay again
Price:
He has adoption papers ready
Crash, despite your name, is polite, respectful and responsible. Would always help Price clean up after meetings and briefs
Same with Soap, you would listen quietly to Price’s war stories and even his favorite fishing trips
Saw in your file about what happened to your old team and captain. Vows to never pull the same stunt as them
Sadden to see how you’re so young and has seen and dealt with many things already. It breaks his heart that there’s more that you’ll experience. 
You, Soap and Gaz would do dumb shit all the time but you knew when it was the right time to bail. Of course, they would snitch on you to Price. You’d rarely get in trouble though
Basically you two:
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Would gift him cigars from the countries you’d visit during leave
Also a matching set of torch lighters. His has a special green flame while yours is pink. 
You don’t smoke anymore but you would hangout with him and help him finish reports together.
Price often thinks about a life where he didn’t join the military. A life of normalcy. To go to a home filled with life. 
Would have loved to have kids and technically, he still can but his job makes it almost impossible. 
But with Gaz and now you, you two are his pride and joy.
Would be the “hip” dad and will always ask about the new slang and memes
“This food is-what you kids call it...uh, busting!”
You and Gaz look at each other, “It’s bussin’.”
“This food is bussin’!”
Ghost:
Did not to want to get close to you at all. 
Was honestly peeved when Price told him that he was going to mentor you
“I don’t want to play babysitter, Captain.”
Surprised to see how short you were. All of the rumors and information he was told, they never mention your size
At first, he hated how you would follow him around like a lost puppy. 
“Leave me alone, go bother Soap or something.”
Doesn’t miss the flash of hurt in your eyes but you turn around anyways.
Before you joined, he, Price and Laswell were all sitting in Price’s office, his phone on speaker. He was reading over your file before Price’s contact said
“She reminds me of Ghost when I worked with him seven years ago.”
He looks up from the folder, Price’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and Laswell nodding.
“I think we’ll have her transferred to us,” Price replies.
Hates to admit but he’s impressed. Thought the rumors was bullshit but you proved him wrong, time and time again
You still have a lot of things to learn and even more practice to do but he believes in you
Does not go easy. He’s merciless. Has put you down countless times and reprimanded you more. You would always leave training sessions with a new bruise. The rest of the team gets concerned with his training methods.
But you still get up and you blink away the tears whenever he shouts at you
At about five months after you joined, on a mission, you spot an enemy behind him before he does and without a word, you quickly take your knife out and throw it towards the man behind him. 
He opens his mouth to yell at you but he sees the enemy on the corner of his eye and watch him slump down. Your knife stuck in his bleeding neck
Gives you a nod after that. Pulling out your knife and handing it back to you
Knife throwing would be one of the training sessions you’d do. It was also a good time for some small chat
Finds out that you’re also a part of the “Dead Mom, Shitty Dad” club
It takes a year for him to SLIGHTLY open up to you
Told you about one of his favorite dishes his mom made and his favorite Queen song was ‘You’re My Best Friend’
Even told you how he likes his Earl Grey prepared
It scares him of how much you remind him of his mom and brother. You have her kindness and his determination. He will never tell you this
You, along with the team, become the very thing he cares about and will protect you to the best of his ability.
Bonus:
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5K notes · View notes
vhstown · 5 months
Text
super short london slang guide !!
i haven't got a scooby doo about cockney so this is mainly gonna be mle and like the way 14 year old secondary school boys talk oookay let's go (just so yk i am a londonder!!!!!)
direct things to call people (or avoid calling people)
bruv, blud, man, mate, fam (can use in replacement of a pronoun like he, she, you and i or for emphasis — "man's got a meeting, bruv!")
more on "man" it can be used in plural too — "us man" or "them man" or "you man"
my g, my guy (for referring someone you are friendly/friends with)
bossman (something you'd call a shop or business owner — "aye bossman get me the 3 wings and chips yeah")
big man (usually used in a sarcastic friendly but kind of demeaning way, the older cousin of "big guy" — "oi big man what you sayin' cuz?"
i wasnt going to put these here cause of personal preference but 😭 people are gonna use them anyway so i might as well tell you what they mean:
peng (adjective cute/pretty — "her? she's peng!")
leng (adjective hot/sexy — "rah, he's leng you know?)
nouns
ting (usually to refer to a girlfriend but can also just mean "thing"... or a knife? — "don't chat to my ting fam!")
grim (very outdated word for a promiscuous woman — "she's a grim bruv!")
skeng (gun)
shank, spinner (knife)
paper, Ps, pronounced "peas" (money)
ends (neighbourhood, area — "if i catch you in my ends yeah")
mandem (group of friends — "having a laugh at the pub with the mandem" aha)
gyaldem (group of women / female friends)
ganja (weed)
blem (cigarette)
pagan/paigon (snitch or untrustworthy person, not a super common you might wanna use "snake" or "snitch" instead)
wasteman (someone who's useless, a lowlife)
pussio/pussyo (pussy, coward)
other common words and phrases
wagwan, or "wag1" in text (what's up, what's going on)
bare (a lot — "i got bare problems with him!")
gassed (prideful, full of yourself — "im actually so gassed, man got promoted"
"and that" (instead of "and stuff" — "i got links and that")
"allow it" (let something slide — "i forgot my wallet allow it bossman")
safe (like "alright cool", or as a bye — "aight safe")
"pattern up" (fix up, get it together)
hard, tight (cool, good, though "hard" is also used in an offensive way — "bro thinks he's hard, pussio")
blam (to get shot, not actually very common to hear in my experience)
sheffed (up), shanked (to get stabbed)
ahlie (used as an interjection when in agreement with something, similar to phrase "am i lying?")
non-mle specific words i hear sometimes
thick (dumb, stupid)
clapped/tapped (ugly, weird, unattractive)
merk/murk (kill, beat up)
slag, sket (slut)
chav (used to refer to someone of the low social status, associated with violent or rude behaviour)
taking the mick, taking the piss (being annoying)
mad (means crazy obviously but people use it a lot, can have positive and negative connotations — "that's mad!")
nonce (literally means pedophile / sex offender, do what you will with it 😭)
dickhead, bellend (similar to douchebag)
wanker (used towards someone you dislike, or in a joking way)
geezer (usually to refer to an old man)
also!!!
depending on which communities are predominant in the area, words from other languages can come in / have come in
some words are common with US slang too because they share origins 😁 ain't that cool
there's a lot of influence from jamaican patois due to the history of british jamaicans in london for ex in words like "ting" or "mandem" or "wagwan" (hence why mle is sometimes referred to as "jafrican") and its not strange to hear "bomboclaat" or "bloodclaat" here either
in communities where there's muslims and arabs (especially in east london) you might hear arabic terms like "wallahi", "khalas" or "astagfirullah" (though people debate whether that's cultural appropriation or not)
south asians have also had an influence with words like "gora" or "ganja" though again this is largely area based and the impact of hinglish is also found a lot outside of london
some people have a mix of different dialects! i mainly alternate between mle and estuary (sometimes yorkshire don't ask it is very easy to pick up...)
you're not gonna hear every single word here all the time the usage varies throughout london. the way north and west londoners speak can be v different for example
uhhhh if you wanna learn properly just listen to some grime or sutn . listen to londoners speak!
for some more resources in-depth PLEASE check out these guides made by other british people ! (one and two)
ok that's it bye bye british ppl & londoners feel free to add on! it is midnight rn so ive probably missed stuff lol... dms are open in case you've got any questions or want any help :p
598 notes · View notes
itostea · 11 months
Text
bllk boys with a shy!reader pt. 2 (rin, nagi, & oliver)
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warnings: suggestive!! 
rin: 
I feel like Rin finds you really cute
you’re in the middle of eating some cookies and a few crumbs land on your cheek
rin sighs and wipes your cheek gingerly, making a few remarks here and there but most of his insults are half-hearted
but when he leans closer and cups your face you just completely malfunction 💀💀
no thoughts at all.
and he leans back to gauge your wide-eyed look and see how look of surprise paints your face
he can literally hear how loud is heartbeat from just seeing that
his thoughts are just “oh shit that’s cute” as he just stares at you with a blank-eyed look 
like i kid you not, he’s just stone-faced while his mind is just screaming at how cute you are
you have to say his name multiple times to grab his attention but all he does is just lean in and kiss you
the kiss gets more intense and you’re like why is he acting like this all of a sudden 😭😭
he just leans away after that and goes “sorry” then leans in for another kiss
yeah. idk. he’s very touchy in private
whenever you get nervous and hide behind him, he just gives your hand a squeeze and kisses the top of your head
the first time his team saw him do that, they went 😯😯😯
he’s so soft for you he doesn’t even care that they made fun of him for a month straight 
rin isn’t very verbal when he is, it is always worth it for the both of you
especially for him
the first time he said “i love you,” you completely exploded and couldn’t maintain a single conversation with him
it was so amusing to him that he couldn’t help but chuckle, the sight making you watch in awe
anyways… he finds you very cute, like seriously. He’d do anything for you 
nagi: 
I feel like he acts oblivious to how easily flustered you are just so he could tease the shit out of you
he does it so naturally too 😭😭
believe it or not, I 100% believe this man would make a bunch of dirty jokes just to get a reaction out of you
you’re just so meek when he says dirty things so forgive him!! 
one time you weren’t paying attention to him because you were reading a book and he just took it away from you, watching as you jumped on your feet to try to reach it
“Sei just give it to me already!”
“Huh? Hmm maybe tonight.”
he said that so casually that you didn’t catch the innuendo until a few minutes later 
the moment you realized, he just shrugged and gave an amused smile 
“I didn’t say anything weird, pretty… you’re just dirty-minded” 
yeah… 💀💀
okay other than the dirty jokes and stuff… he’s understanding once you tell him that you’re pretty shy around people
he usually prefers being alone so he can empathize but he doesn’t push you to be more social
oh yeah prepare for surprise hugs 
let’s say you’re cooking up a snack or meal and all of a sudden, you find his arms circle your waist, his breath hitting your neck as he says “i’m home”
GOWNIRFQ2E[FP ?!
he’s also the type of guy to suddenly pick you up and put you on a table so he can rest on your lap
it's literally heaven for him.
he gets to see your flustered expression AND be at peace laying on your lap
so yeah.
get used to his displays of physical affection 💀💀💀💀
oliver:
oh man he’s going to love teasing you (in an affectionate way ofc)
he’s met his fair share of women and you’re the only one who’s actually tugged on his heart strings 
he thinks you’re the cutest! your meekness just brings him at ease
bro is a womanizer but he realized he had to settle down with you! like he’d be a fool not to
it happened when you were getting nervous going to a party and meeting new people 
he loves you but he was literally just admiring how good you looked in your dress 
you’re rambling and he’s just smiling because he loves when you’re open with him
but then you gaze at him with a bashful smile and say “but since you’re going i wanna go so…” 
he lowkey just stared before he was like “okay yeah i’m marrying you”
and you’re like “HUHHH????” while he’s like… “did i stutter? we’re getting married 🤨”
he’s just really soft around you
HOWEVER… like i stated before he’s gonna love teasing you
like ygs will be kissing on the couch with him hovering above you and he’ll lean in before he just stops, grinning at you coyly
you’d be sighing all meek and stuff, trying to lean closer but he just laughs 
“you gotta tell me what you want baby.” 
HE’S SUCH A TEASE UGH
and when you finally ask him to kiss you again, he goes in for a quick peck, leaning back up with a toothy grin
you’d stare at him and impulsively ask “that’s all?” and he’d just go “that’s all? what, you want more?” knowing damn well yes 😐😐😐
trying to pull him down doesn’t work either bc this man is REALLY jacked 
when he gets his fill with teasing you, he’ll just lean down and shush you with a kiss
and he makes sure it’s a kiss. the type of kiss where a hand slides down your waist while another cups your face. that kind of kiss 😩😩😩😩😩😩
once he pulls away and gauges your expression, seeing how you couldn’t even think straight and look and him, he just pats your cheek
“thought you wanted more?”
don’t take his teasing too seriously… he’s doing it bc he’s in love and that’s his love language 💀💀💀
2K notes · View notes
wegc · 4 months
Note
All of this perv! Talk is getting me 🫠🤤
I love the way you write Chan but how do you think the other boys would be as pervs
I feel like Han would be the nastiest perv
Seungmin would be secret like taking upskirt photos and stuff
Minho would be possessive as hellll
But let me know what you think, doesn’t need to be a full think if you want just some thoughts
Love the work you put out, can’t wait for more!🧡
If it’s available can I be 🧡anon?
first of all, thank you so much🥹
and YES omg, i agree with you completely. jisung and minho (i think) would be the nastiest and would be the only two with absolutely no shame in what they’re doing (especially minho hehe).
jisung holds first place for panty stealing and shows no remorse when he encounters you looking for them! i can picture him purchasing a cute gift box that contains all your stolen underwear—articles of cotton and lace fabric messily shoved in there.
he also definitely takes photos of you in compromising positions and fists his little cock to them, moaning and whining loudly, with zero intent to secrete what he’s doing.
and seungmin taking up-skirt photos omg. he finds you so captivating when you’re dressed up girlishly, and skirts are his absolute favourite, not only because you look so lovely, but because you’re extra accessible. he can’t help but stand behind you, pretending to look for something as he takes quick photos of your covered cunt to keep for later (he prays one day that he’ll catch you naked under the skirt).
i can also see seungmin grinding his hard-on against your ass whenever you’re sitting on his lap, sighing and squeezing your hips firmly as you look behind to stare at him curiously.
minho would be so possessive, oh my gosh.
i can picture him trying to figure out your cellphone password in hopes of discovering nudes in there when you’re not around.
once he ultimately figures it out, he steals your phone as you’re sleeping and impatiently unlocks your hidden photos, his cock swelling upon uncovering hundreds of photos of your tits and cunt—photos of you in lingerie, videos of you fucking yourself—holy shit, he thinks, were you always such a fucking slut?
he immediately sends them to himself and deletes the chat afterwards to keep you from finding out.
after scrolling through all of your photos and having his fair share of pleasure jerking himself off to all of them, he looks through the rest of your phone late into dusk, dedicating hours to examining your messages, social media, etc. who just followed you? who did you just call?
he feels himself grow irritated with the number of men you speak to, not many to the average individual but enough for lee minho—you didn’t send any of them your nudes, right?
whatever, whether you did or didn’t, you certainly weren’t going to anymore—not when he’s blocking every single man he’s concerned about from your phone. he’ll confess to you soon anyway—you’re already his, as far as he’s concerned.
776 notes · View notes
rhaenella · 5 months
Note
idk if ur reqs are open but im obsessed with ur account. i was wondering if u could do a smau of any driver (other than danny ric) x pbr!reader. like shes the only woman to ever compete at NFR in bull riding. shes also 19 and doesnt ride with a helmet (just a cowboy hat) shes also like yhe biggest rodeo barbie you could imagine.
Firstly, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to work on your request, end of the year stuff and other wips got in the way 🫠 Anyways, I decided on Max for this because I almost immediately thought of him and his little Texas outfit 🥰 Also, I have to admit that my (non-American) knowledge of professional bull riding consisted primarily of The Longest Ride so excuse any inaccuracies, but I tried my best to read up on it! That being said, I hope it’s to your liking :) 
・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・
MV1 | Season of Champions
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pairing: max verstappen x pbr!reader
genre: social media au
summary: you and max are each other's biggest supporters as max tries to secure his 3rd world championship title, whilst you're fighting for your 1st in a previously all male dominated sport
masterlist
・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・
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Liked by wagsf1, user3 and 135,092 others
mv.y/nupdates: Tomorrow our girl can secure one of the few select spots in the NFR finals!!! Unfortunately Max can’t be there due to his own race in Qatar, but we’ll be sure to cheer them both on ❤️
View all 712 comments
user1: they’re gonna kill it on both sides of the atlantic
user2: POWER COUPLE
user3: omg i hope y/n wins 🙏 she deserves this so much
user4: my alarm is set for 4 am to support y/n 🫡
user5: are you taking a nap between their races??
user4: lol obviously
user5: same 😂 it’s a tough life stanning max & y/n
7 October
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Liked by y/n, mv.y/nupdates and 112,363 others
pbr: y/n y/l/n becomes the first woman in history to qualify for the NFR finals in Las Vegas in December! Congrats on this incredible achievement, y/n. See you in Sin City⚡️
View all 674 comments
user6: OMG SHE DID IT ❤️❤️❤️
user7: i’m so proud of her, i’ve literally been here since day 1
user8: remember when she used to do rodeo and everyone told her she could never go into pbr… look at her NOW 🔥
user9: she gave her hat to the little girl in the front row 😭❤️
user10: yep i cried
user11: y/n is not only the best, she is the SWEETEST
8 October
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Liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 805,298 others
y/n: There aren’t words to describe how it feels to finally have my childhood dream come true. I’m not gonna lie, it was a tough road, especially as a female in this industry. Working my way up through rodeo to where I am today: a NFR finalist!! It’s a real pinch me moment… Little me would be ecstatic (just like present me 🙈) To all the other little girls that share the same passion & dream, it’s possible! Never stop believing in yourself ❤️ Now, let’s get that trophy!!!
View all 3,238 comments
maxverstappen1: My girl 😍 You’ve 100% got this 💪
y/n: Thank you baby 🥰 But first, Texas!
landonorris: GET INNN
Liked by y/n
lewishamilton: Legend in the making 🤍
Liked by y/n
user12: you’re gonna inspire so many girls to follow their dreams 🧡
user13: ✨role model✨
user14: soooo… idk if anyone’s seen the other finalists but she’s going to absolutely annihilate the competition just saying
user15: fr, they ain’t ready
8 October
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Liked by user16, user17 and 658,512 others
f1: Howdy, y’all, it’s race week 🤠 Austin, here we come! 🇺🇸
View all 520 comments
y/n: Looking sharp sheriffs!
carlossainz55: Muchas gracias
charles_leclerc: Have to look our best this weekend, don’t we?
y/n: I wonder who for 🤔
charles_leclerc: 😉
user16: UHM FLIRTY MUCH??
user17: easy there sharl, she’s taken 💀
user18: cota the soap opera, i’m here for it
16 October
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Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 778,543 others
y/n: Switching my bull gear for that other bull gear 💙 COTA LET’S GOOO
View all 2,160 comments
maxverstappen1: Blue looks good on you
Liked by y/n
danielricciardo: Yeeeeehaaawwww
redbullracing: Team Bull. Always.
y/n: Hell yeah!!
user19: you can pull off literally anything 😍
user20: y/n is at cota this weekend!!!!!
user21: omfg finally some y/n & max content
user22: we’ve been STARVED
user21: exactly 🥲
user23: GIRL WAIT YOU SWITCHED TO THE CAP??
y/n: Don’t worry!! It was only for the pic 😊
user23: oh thank god
18 October
y/n's story
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Seen by landonorris, alex_albon and 2,436,712 others
19 October
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Liked by y/n, victoriaverstappen and 728,451 others
maxverstappen1: Austin ready 🇺🇸💪
View all 1,934 comments
y/n: There were so many cool hats to choose from but he insisted on wearing mine…😈
landonorris: Initiating the cowboy hat rule just in time before the race… Clever girl
alex_albon: Oooohh everybody watch out
schecoperez: 😂😂😂
y/n: You know it ;)
maxverstappen1: Wait what?
landonorris: Nothing, mate 🤠 You’ll find out soon enough
user24: BYEEEE AHAHAHA
user25: y/n and the whole grid ganging up on max 😭
user26: he’s so oblivious i love it
19 October
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Liked by sophiekumpen, redbullracing and 654,281 others
f1: VERSTAPPEN WINS AT COTA! 🏆
View all 2,017 comments
user27: 🔥🔥🔥
user28: the goat does it again
user29: little sad that max didn’t wear the cowboy hat on the podium tho
user30: lmao y/n is probably as well
22 October
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Liked by maxverstappen1, alex_albon and 768,311 others
y/n: WHAT. A. WEEKEND. 15th win of the season & 50th altogether!!!🥇Proud of you Maxie 😘😘
View all 2,108 comments
maxverstappen1: Love you 😘
user31: MAXIE??? i’m sobbing
user32: i need to know all her nicknames for him NOW
user33: and i need her to be at every one of his races
user34: same she fitted right in with the crew in the pitbox, joking around and everything :’)
user33: truly one of the few wags who are actually into the sport…
22 October
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Liked by y/n, danielricciardo and 734,161 others
maxverstappen1: It’s incredible to win my 50th Grand Prix here today. I feel very proud to achieve this! Amazing job by everyone in the team 👏 And special thank you to y/n, the hat indeed brought us luck!
View all 1,998 comments
y/n: Always trust the hat, you should wear it more often
maxverstappen1: Unfortunately we cannot all break the helmet rules
y/n: 🙄
user35: lmao y/n is like you either die trying or you don’t try at all
user36: she has an aesthetic to look after 💅🏼
y/n: 🤣 You got it!
user36: OMG OMG
user37: BROOO
user38: well at least we’ve got that confirmed now
22 October
y/n's story
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Seen by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,766,192 others
23 October
y/n's story
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Seen by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 2,541,384 others
23 October
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Liked by user39, user40 and 31,476 others
mv1jet: Verstappen’s jet just touched ground! 🛬 Nevada, United States of America 🇺🇸
View all 508 comments
user39: oh god everyone get ready
user40: this can only mean 1 thing
user41: MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN, 3-TIME F1 WORLD CHAMPION, COMING TO SUPPORT HIS GIRL AT THE BIGGEST PBR EVENT OF THE YEAR HELLO YES I AM SAT
28 November
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Liked by mv.y/nupdates, pbr and 275,021 others
wranglernfr: Today marks the start of the 65th NFR Finals! Newcomer and fan favorite y/n y/l/n has a good shot at winning the championship this week. However, will she decide to adhere to the mandatory helmet regulations or will she risk disqualification and still wear her self-proclaimed good luck hat? We’ll find out soon, folks. Stay tuned!
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user42: i bet she keeps to her aesthetic
user43: oh def, she basically said it herself already
user44: but but but would they really disqualify her when she wins…??
user45: technically it is against the rules to ride without a helmet during the nfr’s so… yeah they might
user44: 😥😥
user46: please y/n don’t jeopardize it all 😩
2 December
maxverstappen1's story
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Seen by landonorris, schecoperez and 3,014,839 others
11 December
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wranglernfr: NFR 2023 Champion y/n y/l/n⚡️Despite sticking to her famous but controversial cowboy hat, y/n becomes the 65th winner in Las Vegas at just nineteen, beating the runnerup and last year’s champion Billy Youngster!
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user47: SHE DID IT!!!! 💪🔥
user48: i’m bursting with pride i’m so happy for her 🥰🥰🥰
mv.y/nupdates: two world champions this is almost too good to be true 😭❤️
user49: their christmas is gonna be one helluva party
user50: well deserved, that billy kid had it coming
user51: he only won last year because of dumb luck!
user52: FACTS
user53: this year we have a winner who’s worthy of the title ❤️
user54: can’t get over how y/n was so far up ahead they literally couldn’t disqualify her for the hat thing lol
user55: imagine if they had, people would have rioted
user54: omg they would have, with max at the front hoisting his pitchfork in the air, leading the pack
user55: 😂😂
11 December
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y/n: Cowboy hat + racing gloves = champions of the world 🏆
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maxverstappen1: ❤️
sophiekumpen: So proud of both of you 🥰
victoriaverstappen: Coolest auntie (en oom natuurlijk🙊)!!!
Liked by y/n
landonorris: Congrats on making champion, champ!!! And wow… Max has got his own hat 👀
y/n: Yup! He deserved it after his triple US win 😍
charles_leclerc: Does this mean that your hat claim has lifted…?
maxverstappen1: Unless you want another inchident, back off
y/n: Uhm... He knows what it means now…
charles_leclerc: 😳
alex_albon: RIP Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc 🪦
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12 December
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maxverstappen1: Wear the hat…
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12 December
・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・
a/n: translation of “en oom natuurlijk” > “and uncle ofcourse”
Happy holidays! x
・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・
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AITA for not expressing an opinion on my children's education?
I don't think I'm the asshole for this but my brother told me off for it and one of my friends said I was being a crap dad for it.
Me and my wife are separated - I moved to a city a couple hours away from her and my two children a little over a year ago. We would be divorced if that was legal. As it is, we still mostly have shared finances because 1) we can't actually separate our shared bank account and 2) it's my responsibility to send money to them. My wife has a full time job just as I do. I opened a separate bank account when I moved so that all of my personal apartment stuff goes through there instead of the account my wife and kids use.
A week or so ago, my wife called because our children are getting close to a new level of education (I don't know what this would be in the American system - sort of pre-career or pre-university level?) and she wanted to discuss where they're going to go.
She laid out their options and various merits (from a financial perspective, from a career perspective, a social perspective, etc). I listened to her points, but I haven't seen either of my children in a year and we don't talk much (my wife and I have only told them that I moved for a new career opportunity and said that we didn't want to make them move too; we haven't told them about the difficulties between my wife and I), so I don't know much about what they want to do after secondary school and I don't feel comfortable advocating for any particular school on their behalf.
Anyway, I didn't really have anything to say, but my wife started yelling at me for not giving her an answer (she didn't actually ask me a question) and I told her that I would be happy to pay for whatever the children chose. This was not the answer she wanted from me. She kept yelling at me, mostly about the fact that I need to move back in with them and that living apart is making me forget how to be a father (all of which have been routine in our calls since I left, as well as in a slightly different form in the years before I left), so I activated my smoke alarm and hung up.
I'm sorry for my English, it is not my first language.
What are these acronyms?
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iloveyouemanuelmarco · 2 months
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I don't understand how Vivziepop still has a fanbase anymore that unironically still supports her after all the scenarios of controversy where she brushes it off as petty internet drama from "petty envious antis" atleast before she runs off into her crowd of chronically online and discourse obsessed problematic adults on any social media platform(Mostly Twitter to be specific but still)who are just a group of yes-men for her to use to attack not even only children on the interwebs who just happen to be uncomfortable with the fandom she's cultivated over her career of a wannabe artist and animator, but other adults too who by the way are somewhat consisting of survivors of abuse, rape, are LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, neurodivergent/disabled and possibly more. It honestly makes me sad as it does angry because the concept of the show isn't that crazily impossible in my opinion atleast and it could of had so much potential to do way better if not only the obvious subject matters were treated with much more care in an attempt to rework the scripts but also if Viv didn't do half of the stuff she did just a bad person in general. Like...is that really the best you can do for your fanbase???You cannot be not-joking atleast a little bit when you're telling me that apparently not only are children not being stopped from engaging with an 18+ rated show(even though the amount of vulgar language is done so poorly that it could pass of as your average failed Newgrounds animation), but that they're literally being encouraged to interact with the fandom???Are you out of your mind???Don't even get me started on the other stuff that you all probably already know about such as the blatant mockery of S.A., abusive relationship dynamics, hypersexuality in victims of said scenarios that happen irl, having other such "jokes" including some sort of rapey scene at all and having someone who actively and openly supports "non-con" fiction???!!!! What is wrong with you people??And apparently I have to share the home of the beautiful planet Earth with these idiots choosing to have the cognitive dissonance and brain function of an almost-empty and dusty old peanut...Along with the fact that the woman herself treats her animators at Spindlehorse Productions(her studio I suppose)like utter dog-dung, she has proven to drag anyone who defies her problematic and dare I say dangerous behavior through the mud and gets away with it all because of her stans/fans making her the "face of independent animation/indie animators". I honestly feel so awful for those who may have genuinely looked up to her at one point, atleast not knowing how much of a horrible person she was behind the scenes of the computer screen but its whatever anyways I guess. If any aspiring makers of cartoons or comics(LGBTQIA+/BIPOC/Disabled preferred) would like to promote the stuff they male down below in my comments section than feel free☆. It's the least anyone can do under the storm that's being made and has happened for such a long time ughh. The project should have been attempted a little more to be prevented from the confines of those echo-chambery and gross parts of fandom-centric social media communities and It's so discouraging how long this has been going on too, but hey. She's the lady that unironically made a literal pedo character that she attempted to present as a villain while just having the original character end up as a sort of "cool af bad-girl aesthetic uwu" character. Oh my fucking God please stop at once I swear to the highest Heavens and the deepest, most darkest depths of Hell(Ironic).
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chaethewriter · 1 year
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with(out) you
Jack Champion x reader
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In which Jack follows his dreams, unbeknownst to you hurting.
word count: 2,2k
tagged: @viivvriv @genesis4545 @norrisgf @darkcrusadestrawberry @drxwstxrkxy @wafflehousewrold
A/N: requested by my fellow Jack pookies. this took me 5 hours to write my attention span sucks ass. DON'T GET INTO MY INBOX HATING— JACK IS MY COMFORT RN DURING THESE STRESSFUL WEEKS. Anyway to my other pookies, ily enjoy. <3 tell me what tou thought.
Are y'all in need of a part 2?
Jack's career was skyrocketing. You shouldn't be surprised: an important role in Avatar The Way of Water and Ghostface in the popular Scream franchises with a movie featuring Pedro Pascal on the way. Your boyfriend was going places and you couldn't be prouder, but his career skyrocketing also meant he was highly recommended among casting directors. You should be proud of him. You didn't want to be in the way of his success, but what about your boundaries?
He got fancasted in a romcom on social media, to which he grew interested in. He was the top choice, it was everywhere. The existence of the handsome actor named Jack Champion spread like wildfire. You didn't know all the details, but he got casted as the handsome love interest. Just the way everyone wanted it to be. He was trending thanks to this role and he couldn't wait where it would bring him. You were happy for him, but another side of you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable a the thought. You knew it was work, of course you did. It was part of his work and besides, he loved you, right? But you still felt uncomfortable at the thought of him holding another, kissing another, being another's. You never dared to voice these feelings out, though. And you wished you did.
News got out of the casting of the movie and media went into an uproar, everyone but you. The publicity of the casting meant that filming would start. He asked you to be there for him and you reluctantly agreed. You could follow college online, so you didn't have an excuse not to go with him. Was it selfish of you to think like this? You really wanted to be the supportive girlfriend one would see on television, and you felt bad that you currently weren't that person for him.
"Are you proud of him?" You would answer that question truthfully: with a nod, because you were proud of him and what he had achieved.
Being behind the scenes was anything but exciting. Sitting at a table somewhere behind the crew as you typed away on your laptop. Your gaze would occasionally wander in front of you, craning your neck to see Jack in his glory, working his ass off. You couldn't help but smile as you watched him in his role. It was amazing to see how he could go from being Jack to a fictional character. But your smile faded as the camera was rolling and Jack gave her a look similar in your eyes. A look he gave you when he looked at you. A look that wasn't only yours anymore.
You packed your stuff and discreetly left the scene, phone in hand as your thumbs typed away on the screen.
You should have communicated properly.
Jack's phone buzzed in his mother's pocket.
Her <3: I had to leave in an urgent, ily I'll see you soon.
Your relationship was rocky, not the same as before. Jack wasn't stupid. Something was wrong. He may be busy, but he always noticed any small detail that changed when it came to you. He didn't want to push you, so he decided to not push you further. What a mistake that was.
Not communicating your feelings properly.
Not pushing himself to ask you about it.
Was that your downfall?
With this lack of communication, filming continued, with you out of touch with reality. You still stayed in the city Jack was filming at. You wanted to be there for him, but being on set? That you couldn't do. You would be wandering around the city, sitting at cafes as your gaze would focus on the assignment in front of you. You only saw one another at night, when he met you at his trailer after filming. Sharing a small kiss before heading to sleep.
Even that was taken away from you.
As you, unfortunately, walked in during a kissing scene. A kissing scene that they had to redo continuously. Wrong perspective. Touchier. More passion. You couldn't help but watched how his lips moved in sync with hers as she pulled him down by his collar, his hands on her waist. Their bodies pressed against one another. The camera tilted as he pressed her against a nearby wall, deepening the kiss.
"Cut! That was amazing!"
You had already disappeared amongst the crew, your appearance unbeknownst to Jack.
As well as your feelings.
How could you ever voice yourself?
How could he make you talk?
Since that day, you hadn't kissed him on the lips. They didn't belong to you anymore. Was there anything of him that was still yours?
He had shared his longing gazes, his I love you's, his lips, his touches.
What was still yours?
Could you still call him yours?
Every morning, every night, he had leaned in for a kiss from you. His girlfriend. He didn't feel anything for the kisses he did for work, but yours. Yours would always give him butterflies. Made him feel like he was floating. Made his heart beat faster.
But his heart did the polar opposite.
It broke.
It broke as you leaned to the side, his lips landing against your cheek instead.
What had gone wrong?
He watched your expression. A forced smile. He couldn't help it anymore. He couldn't watch the process of your relationship falling apart.
"Baby, talk to me." His voice was soft as it cracked, holding your cheeks in his hands, basically forcing you close to him. Thus forcing your gazes to lock. Your eyes faltered, tears almost welling up in your eyes. Almost. Then your gaze traveled to his lips. Lips that not only you kissed.
"Soon, Jack." Your lips pressed against the tip of his nose as you lied through your teeth. Not knowing you weren't the only one hurting.
Communicating was important, you knew that. But communicating meant explaining your feelings. It meant ruining Jack's career. You couldn't bare to do that. So during the entirety of filming and after, this pain went on.
Him <3: We will be there in 15, my love <3
Her <3: see you soon x
The premiere of the movie. With flashing cameras, interviews, crowds and the first watch. Jack had picked you up with his mother. You were his plus one, of course he had chosen you as his plus on. Who else could he have chosen? Even though the two of you were arguing and you still didn't talk, he wanted to work this out with you. He had hoped this premiere could bring you closer.
If only he knew.
You stayed in the background as Jack walked past the rolling cameras, microphones pressed into his face as every interviewer wanted the first answers to their questions for the rising star. Beside him stood the his co-star, the two of them smiling as they spoke into the microphone. You envied her. Ironic, envying a girl while you were the girlfriend.
"Everyone was amazing. The crew, the director, the cast. It was an unforgettable experience that for sure made me grow as an actor."
"Yes definitely. Jack was amazing to work with and I look forward to working with him more often. There was a bond that immediately clicked, which helped with our chemistry."
It made you sick to your stomach, watching them bond. Their chemistry had grown so much over the months. While you were brooding about your relationship, the two of them had grown so close. Why couldn't you just tell him how you felt?
With your head full of painful thoughts, Jack took you by the waist as he led you towards the venue. While he was proud to show you off to everyone as the cameras were shooting pictures of you, your mind was elsewhere. If only he had already connected the dots and gotten out of there with him, maybe the night would have turned out different.
At that point, you wanted to be anywhere else but there. The lights were off as the movie played on the big screen. You wanted to look away the entire time, the way your hands fiddled in your lap looking so much more interesting than the screen in front of you. But you wanted to support him, watch him act and praise him for it, so you endured the aching in your heart as you focused on your boyfriend holding another in his arms. Jack took notice of this. If he was honest, he could care less about whatever happened on screen: his gaze was focused on you and you only. The way you reacted to anything on the screen. His eyebrows furrowed, as if it finally settled in what was wrong with you.
"I love you, why don't you understand that?!"
"it will always be you!"
His lips pressed against hers, a heated make out scene on full display. The scene you had walked into. You felt sick in your stomach, tears welling into your eyes. You couldn't make a fool out of yourself, so you got up and left. Just like that. He watched you leave and shot up from his seat himself, covering most of the screen for the people behind him. He mumbled soft apologies as he rushed after you.
He had to find you and this time, he would make you talk.
To your dismay, he had found you fast. His long legs keeping up with your shorter ones. You stood in the middle of some empty hallway with your back facing him, your face in your hands as you sobbed. All the emotions you had kept inside you were bursting out, all at once. You were definitely overreacting. He was just doing his job, but why did it hurt?
"babe?" his voice rang through your head. He couldn't see you like this. You have been rubbing your eyes, your makeup was smudged for sure. He stepped towards you, slow but steady, "please talk to me? Don't tell me you're fine. Since I got casted you have been so off.." His voice trailed off, as if the realization finally hit. You were hurting. And it was his fault. The realization made him lunge himself at you, his hands settled on your waist as he pulled you closer. You felt your heart crack.
That wasn't only yours either. You pushed him away with your elbows, thus making him stumble back. "You're not mine anymore."
What?
Not yours?
You owned his heart. You carried it with you everywhere you went, unbeknownst to you. Your name was engraved into his heart. It was beating for you, and only you. He was yours. His mind, body and soul was yours.
"I'm yours, everything that has to do with me is yours."
You snapped. All your frustrations shot out, like lava escaping an active volcano.
You turned to him, your face covered in smudges as your hot tears rolled down your face. "Do you know how it feels to see my boyfriend be someone else's?! You held her like you do with me, you looked at her like you do with me. Hell, you never kissed me like you did with HER. So no, you're not mine. Because when I look at you, I just see you with HER. I can't do it Jack, and I'm sorry."
You held your arms to your chest, as if you tried to protect yourself from further heartbreak. The sight broke him. He never meant to hurt you and he wanted to prove you. A step closer to you was all it took for you to stumble backwards, "why didn't you tell me? I would have understood. Babe, We could have fixed this early on."
"No, Jack. Holding you back was never my intention. And look at you, this romance role made you skyrocket," your voice cracked, "you're a star Jack."
"If being a star means I am hurting you, then I don't want it. You don't hold me back, you could never hold me back. Please, I will do whatever to be with you. There are enough roles for me to get that doesn't include intimacy! Like horror roles, a cool badass side character. There is so much." he was rambling and he knew that. But he couldn't help it. He had to do whatever to make you stay.
"You always wanted to be a star and reach the charts, you-"
"I LOVE YOU! It will always be you! You would always be on my first place! I can't do this without you, please." That sounded incredibly similar. A familiar scream, so echoey that they had gained peoples attention. Phones were taken out, as well as flickering lights filling the room. But he could care less, he needed to fix this.
Yet you were thinking the complete opposite. You had to leave, you couldn't handle crowds. You could hear his pleads as you tried your best to make your way out.
He watched you leave, his tears rolling down his face as his hands were in his hair.
"Jack! Mind telling us what was going on?"
"Jack! Are you officially single now?!"
"Jack smile for us please!"
"Jack here!"
"Jack this way!"
Overwhelmed.
Aching.
He got on his knees as he cried, his face in his hands as he begged everyone to leave him alone. Begged them to let him cry at your departure.
This was his dream, but at what cost?
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