#not everything is a fucking life-changing decision sometimes you just have to do shit

[thedarklyblue]

ughhhh

#.txt #wish i could be confident in my opinions!! #currently stressed because i'm using one name at school and another at home and havent had that conversation with my parents #(which makes it tough bc like. if they come see a show i worked on. there's that one in the program and i didn't tell them.) #((out to them as nonbinary but they went :/ are you sure so i have not been pushing the issue)) #and i get a nyt subscription as a student and my evening update just sent me an article about parents whose kids are socially transitioning #and the schools aren't telling them #and i GET it you feel betrayed. you feel not trusted as a parent. #and i fully understand being unsure and hesitant. but something about this is rubbing #me the wrong way. it's still so important to give kids room to experiment and explore! #if you're going to look at your kid figuring out their identity and go 'oh well you're clearly not sure so i don't believe you' then they'll #work on it by themselves. #and then when they come to you and say this is who i am you'll go 'oh it's so sudden!! how could you not tell me i think this is a fad' #and this is such a weird balancing game and i really hate how the article covered it and now i'm fucking ANXIOUS #i just want to live!! also when you're like oh how can you be sure. how the FUCK are we supposed to figure it out without trying things????? #not everything is a fucking life-changing decision sometimes you just have to do shit #wish i hadn't read that article but uh nothing i can do about it now #i hate realizing that everything i have figured out here (how to explain myself to people #how to talk to profs about who i am) #doesn't do shit for me in the other contexts i live in #also living the 'do i come out to grandparents or do i for sure inherit money for top surgery' which feels gross but idkkkkk #anyway. Bad Brain Evening. thanks

[hopeheartfilia]

define responsible for ones actions

no. really. please.

#responsibility #hate how i actually dont have anything resembling a concrete graps on what responsible means #you cant define responsible by syaing its taking responsibility thats using the undefined term to provide a definiton #it doesnt work. because the term ins defined. #how can a person check if they properly take responsibility for their actions? #how do you know if you change your behaviour when youre wrong? like how can you be sure #i just. it feels like the definiton of responsible i have is never making mistakes and knowing all the possible consequences of youractions #and never making an decisions that have negative consequences to you or others ever #which is obviously incorrect. but it has always felt like what my mom meant when she told me how irresponsible i am #and yes i mean. i am often late to everything. i do sometimes forget appointments #so yes i do feel irresponsible but also hearing that feels like .... and invalidation of how much effort i put into not doing that #i mean not exactly. more like the hmm. this us all because she said she would call me at 7 to take my meds #this feels extremly unplasent and babying and as if i.. am incapable of having agency or independence #but i feel like just because im not. a responsible person. doesnt mean that i shoulsnt be. allowed to deal eith my own shit #and like. when she says. that me messing up reflects badly on Her. and that she has so much stress so why cant she just do that so she wont #have to worry about it. and I just. how can i make it less your fucking problem? it shouldnt be. #youre not responsible for me or my life anymore #it feels like.. like being a kid and being told that i cant do certain things with my hair or clothes or act certain way #because it would look bad for her. thats what it feels like and it feels like shes acting as if ima five year old

[miniwheat77]

Watch it burn. (Ghost x Reader.)

!this is pure smut, you've been warned. absolutely no minors. age gap, sex pollen, unprotected p in v sex, violence!

Ghost was hard headed and everyone knew that.

He didn't always communicate too well and sometimes he kept things to himself until it was unhealthy but that's who he was. He was a damaged person. He had walls up like fort knox. That was just Ghost. Not many knew about his past, but when you came along. Things started changing in weird ways that everyone on base never really seen coming.

Ghost seemed irritated by you at first. You were still pretty new to everything and needed some training but Laswell and Captain Price had both taken a liking to you and decided pretty quickly that you'd be a great addition to the team. It was an easy decision.

When you officially started on base, everyone fell in love with you immediately. Aside from Ghost obviously. You were still a little immature and Ghost didn't like that. The military wasn't meant for people like you and that caused a rift between you in the beginning. Slowly though, you started to prove yourself to him. When he was training you followed him around like a lost puppy asking him for tips and asking him to show you the best ways to stay in shape.

When he was in charge of you on missions, you always buckled down and followed everything he said to a T. You didn't act out or try to make light of any situations. You were mature when you needed to be and maybe that's where he started to grow soft for you. Ghost was always alone. He liked to work alone.

But once he'd gotten used to you being by his side all of the time, he almost hated it.

You followed him all over base. You ate each meal with him, even had a watch shift with him. You stuck by his side so often people started referring to you as his shadow.

At first, he didn't like it at all. Had even blown up on you for following him around so much which in turn got a taste of a side of you he had never seen.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? You're so bloody annoying. I'm not your fucking dad. Go away." He growled. You stopped in your tracks. Eyes narrowing.

"Is that an order, Lieutenant?" You had asked, which in turn made him roll his eyes at you.

"You're being ridiculous."

"No. I don't think so. Because unless you're giving me orders, you don't talk to me like that."

The hair on his body rose and he swore he'd never been so angry. But even as he stepped closer to you, you stood your ground. "Excuse me?" He asks. "You heard me. I'm not a kid, and you sure as shit aren't going to talk to me like that. I'm keeping you company and maybe I'm not doing that for you. Maybe I'm doing it for me." You step closer to him, his nose nearly touching yours. "And I know you're not my dad. But unless you're trying to meet him, lower your voice when you talk to me."

Your voice was quiet, but steady. Letting him know that you were not playing around.

He found out through Price the next day that your dad had passed away at some point in your childhood.

He'd never run to apologize to someone faster in his life.

From that point on, he'd gone easier on you.

---

It was a mistake.

A simple mistake that he knew he shouldn't have made as a Lieutenant.

You were the first to be infected.

Captain Price had sent the both of you on a mission. Meant to be a simple one of course. He sent his best he said.

You'd gotten a gash on you, but something was on the knife. Your veins started to glow. Pink almost as Ghost had described, which resulted in your eyes to roll back. He barely caught you as you passed out.

He quickly found a room and barricaded you inside. He needed answers.

After ambushing a man and dragging him inside with you, he started asking questions. "What was on the knife?"

"Was it poison?"

"How long does she have?"

But only seemed to get laughs from the man who he had tied up.

"It's not poison." He grits his teeth. Ghost is sure the knife in his leg is what's making him talk at this point.

"It's a drug."

Ghost grits his teeth. "What is it?" He slams him back into the wall. "So help me god if you don't start talking." He growls. Grasping the knife that's still in his leg, going to pull it out. "WAIT!" He yells, stopping Ghost. "It's..." He pauses. Looking down. "It's a reproductive drug."

Ghost looks at him confused. "What?"

"It's meant to increase your sex drive. Your body goes into overdrive." He hisses. "Reproductive organs work twice as hard and the hormones in the drug help induce pregnancy. It's.. still in the works." Ghost looks back at you. Still unconscious.

"What do you mean it's still in the works?" He asks.

"It's deadly in higher doses. It started out as a drug but it made it into the wrong hands and now it's a weapon." He breathes. "So.. she's going to die?" Ghost asks.

"Well.. Technically yes." He sighs. "Unless." He trails off. "Unless what?"

"How long ago was she infected."

Ghost looks down at his watch. "37 minutes ago." He looks at the man. "So.. In about.. 10 minutes. She'll wake up. Her body will feel hot and she'll probably be more aroused than she's ever been. And if you can stimulate her enough.. Her body might come down from it."

"If you can survive that long." The man laughs.

"We're gonna be just fine."

Ghost grabs hold of the knife and draws it back, where he had stabbed into the mans femoral artery starts to spurt blood out and in seconds the man is no longer alive. Ghost knows he needs to clear out the rest of the compound and come back for you.

He sets a timer on his watch and starts possibly the most stressful mission he's ever been on.

He's moving quietly but quickly, taking everyone he crosses by surprise.

But unfortunately, he gets infected.

Knife wound to the arm, just like you. He watches his veins change and knows he doesn't have long.

He doesn't know what to do yet and Ghost hates himself. You shouldn't be here. You're too new.

When everything is clear and he's sure of it. He's rushing back to you.

He pushes the desk away from the door and gets back inside, barricading it from the inside. "Ghost? What's going on?" You ask. He feels sick to his stomach. He sighs as he turns around, nervous to face you again. "I... I'm sorry Y/N." He breathes. "What?"

"Your wound.. It's infected with a drug."

"Please tell me you aren't gonna say sex drug?" You breathe. Making him narrow your eyes. "I must've heard him in my sleep." You nod to the man who's leaning over now. Ghost kneels down next to you. "I'm sorry Y/N. I never should've let you come here with me." He sighs.

"That wasn't your decision Ghost. It's not your fault."

He shakes his head. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do."

"Are you infected too?" You ask.

He nods his head. You sit up. "I think you know what we have to do Ghost." You look at him. Your face is deathly still. Letting him know just how serious you are.

"No. Absolutely not Y/N." He shakes his head. Standing up. He starts to pace the room. He's scared. "You'd rather die?" You ask. "No. No of course not. I just... Y/N. I can't do that to you." He shakes his head.

Ghost knows that you trust him. He trusts you too. You even opened up to him about how you were still a virgin because you'd only been in one serious relationship.

That one person who abused you and hurt you in ways that Ghost could kill for. Ghost never looked at you like this and he hates that this is his only choice. "I can't do that to you. I'm not gonna hurt you like you've been hurt. You deserve way better than this Y/N." Ghost feels like he's got an open wound in his chest at the thought of forcing you into something like this. He hates himself for allowing Captain Price to send you along on this mission with him. He didn't want to take you down with him like this. Before he realizes it, you're standing right in front of him. His racing heart steadies in his chest as you reach for his hand.

"Ghost. If we don't..." You trail off, looking down at the ground before taking a deep breath and raising your eyes up to look at him. "If we don't do something, we're going to die. You heard what he said. You and I both saw it. Saw the paperwork, the smoke bombs. This... it'll kill us if we don't." You look up at him. "And.. I don't know about you, but I don't want to die like this." You laugh.

"I can't do this to you Y/N." He hisses, clenching his eyes closed. "Come on, lets go somewhere without. You know." You glance toward the man slumped over at the other side of the room. Grasping his hand and dragging him into another room down the hall, conveniently, one with a bed. He sighs. "Sit down." You force him back onto the edge of the made bed. Luckily this was an upkept building. You take his hands in yours, moving between his legs, feeling him stiffen up immediately. "I trust you, Ghost."

He goes to speak up, but you stop him.

"You are honestly my best friend, and I know you probably don't see it the same way I do. But I trust you. You've shown me so much. Taught me so much. You protect me and you always put me first. I trust you to do this Ghost."

He clenches his eyes closed again. "I am your friend Y/N, of course I am. But.. I'm so much older than you. I thought you looked at me like a father figure, not like this."

A hiss leaves your lips, and Ghost can Physically see your veins turning pink under your skin. It seems unreal. Like something out of a movie. He knows if anything is going to happen, it has to happen now.

"Are you okay?" He asks. "Yeah, yes." You take in a deep breath. Knees feeling weak. "It's... Intense." You breathe. He grasps your hips, sitting you down next to him. "Fuck.. Lay back okay? It's gonna be alright." He breathes. "He.. He said stimulate. He didn't say sex." He breathes. Seeing you nod your head.

He helps you remove your cargo pants. Pushing you further up the bed. He swallows hard. He wants to curse himself, feeling himself get more aroused at the sight of you. It's just he drugs, yeah.

Just the drugs.

He lowers himself into you. Wrapping his arms around your thighs. "I'm sorry Y/N." He breathes.

His tongue dipping into you has you gasping out, clutching at the sheets. His eyes feel heavy as you react to him. You taste sweet and he wants to savor it. He wants to ask for forgiveness and take even more. It's just he drugs. It's just the drugs.

Your back arches and you cry out. Tears streaming down your face. It's just not enough.

"Ghost." You sob, making him look up at you.

"It's not enough."

Any of your veins that were visible under your skin are no longer blue in color, but pink. Your skin is beat red and hot. He grits his teeth as he reaches for his waistband. Once he'd gotten himself free, pants down at his mid thigh, there's no going back now.

He moves himself over you, taking a deep breath. He presses his forehead to yours. "I'm so sorry."

Feeling him penetrate you, piercing into you. You can't help but cry out. He grits his teeth, eyes clenched shut tight. He loves this and he hates this. This isn't how he would've wanted this to happen. He rocks his hips into you, body swallowing him up so perfectly. He forces you to look at him, pushing your hair out of your face. You're sweaty and it's sticking to you. "Are you okay?" He asks. You nod your head. "Yes, yes." You whine. You're out of breath. "I didn't hurt you did I?" He asks. "No, please." You claw at him. "Don't stop." You're nearly sobbing when you say it.

"Harder." You whine. "Y/N.. I'm gonna hurt you."

"Ghost." You grasp his face, forcing his mask off. You're surprised when he lets you. "You're not going to hurt me. I don't want you to be sorry." You breathe. "I want this, I've wanted this. And it's not the goddamn drugs talking." You breathe, staring him in the eyes as you say it. It's like a pin dropping in a silent room when those words leave your lips.

"What?" He asks.

"I've felt this way for a long time. Thought about it all the time. How you treat me so well and protect me. How you always come to my defense, you care about me."

"I do, I do care about you Y/N. But I'm no good for you." He grits his teeth, eyes filling with tears as he rocks into you harder. "That's bullshit and you know it." You claw at the sheets, tilting your head back as he drives himself into you harder. "I wanted you to. Wanted you to be the one to take it- I was going to ask when this mission was over."

You're choked up.

"I love you, Simon."

He loses it, chest tight. Tears stream from his eyes and he doesn't want you to see. Burying his face into the crook of your neck. You using his name, his real name. It's raw.

"Goddamnit I love you too." He sobs, drawing his hips back and burying himself inside of you again. Biting down on your neck. You look up at the ceiling, feeling his weight on you. Everything finally starts to sink in. Tears spill over the corners of your eyes as he works you to a high you're sure you'll never come down from. You clench your eyes closed once more, allowing yourself to feel everything. His pants and sobs in your ear, knowing that he feels this way too. They're getting unsteady and you know by how sloppy his thrusts are getting that he's getting close.

Feeling him, every inch of him. Sliding inside of you, drawing you closer and closer to the brink of pure bliss.

You're gone when he mumbles into your ear.

"I love you Y/N."

You cry out, the sounds leave your lips uncontrollably. He lowers his hand, rubbing circles over your clit. Pushing you through your high. The first time you've ever cum at the hands of someone else. He groans out, drawing away. He stares down at you. His eyes are bloodshot and his eyes are still watery. "I love you Simon, I trust you." You cup his cheeks with your hands again. "Give yourself to me." His body shakes as he reaches his high. Groaning out. He rests his forehead on your chest, trying to calm himself down. Relishing in the pleasure he feels. He knows he needs to calm down now, he's too worked up still. His heart pounds in his chest, but as he relaxes into you, it settles. He stays like that for a while. Calming himself down. When he finally pulls away, sliding out of you. He lies next to you. Pulling you into his side. You rest your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around you. It's silent for a while, but he finally breaks the silence. "I'm so sorry Y/N." He breathes. Hearing you laugh lightly. "Simon..." you trail off. "Why do you keep saying that? What do you have to be sorry for?" You look up at him, eyes piercing his. "Because you deserved so much better than this." He breathes. "Yeah? Like what? An uncomfortable barracks bed?" Your lips raise in a smile and he laughs. "You're such a brat." His chest shakes as he laughs. "It's my best quality, thank you very much." You sit up, climbing over him. Straddling his hips. "I wouldn't have wanted this to go any different. Listen." You tilt your head back. "Hm?" He asks. "Nothing but silence." Your eyes flutter closed and he breathes out, resting his hands on your thighs. Thumb gliding up the inside. "Did I hurt you?" He asks. You shake your head. "No. Not even a little." You breathe, laying your head on his chest. He covers you with a blanket. Wrapping his arms around you and holding you right. "Simon?" You mumble. "Yeah darling?" He asks, pushing your hair out of your face.

"I want to be with you."

He takes a deep breath. "I'm serious. I want everything with you. I want the good days. The bad ones too. I want a life with you, and it's okay if you don't want that with me. But I think you should know." You sigh, relaxing into him. You're completely relaxed. You're always relaxed even in dangerous situations with him. He keeps you safe. "We'll talk more about it when we're out of here.. okay?" He trails off. You nod your head against him.

—

The fire reflects in your eyes, they're glossy. Simon stands next to you. Arms crossed over his chest. His mask is on again, but pulled down around his neck.

The building is nothing but burning flames now. Everything that happened inside is a memory now. It's gone. "It's pretty huh?" You turn to look at him. He laughs. "Yeah, it is." He smiles. "You think it'll be all gone? The drug and everything inside?" You ask. He wraps an arm around your back, pulling you into him. "I'd like to hope so. But.. I don't think this is our last time crossing paths with this." He looks back at the flames. The warmth on your skin feels nice. "Let's get to exfil, yeah?" He looks down at you. "Wait-" you stop him as he goes to walk off. "Simon?" You ask. He turns his head to you. Taking him off guard by pressing your lips to his. He's frozen for a second, but relaxes into you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him. You cup his face again.

When you pull away, you grasp his balaclava. Raising it over his nose once more. "Let's get out of here." You smile. He grasps your hand, pulling you along with him. Picking up all of your gear and returning it to where it belongs.

#call of duty mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #mw2 smut #captain john price #soap mw2 #price mw2 #captain price #johnny soap mactavish #alejandro mw2

[avatar-anna]

It's hot as shit where I live and I may or may not be sitting in front of my ac unit, so...a blurb about that.

"Babe...What the fuck?"

You looked behind you where Harry had entered your apartment without you realizing. Perhaps a little too quickly because your head began to spin, but that didn't stop the wide grin from stretching across your face.

"H! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be...you're supposed to be..."

Shit, where was Harry Styles supposed to be at the moment?

Your boyfriend looked down at you, an amused glint in his eye. "I'm right where I'm supposed to be."

Now, normally that kind of sappy, lovey-dovey language made you cringe, which was why Harry used it so much. He liked to see you squirm. But in your current state, it just broadened your smile and brought color to your cheeks.

"Stop that," you told him. "Now come. Sit with me."

Harry didn't hesitate, joining you on the plushy beanbag chair you were sitting in. The two of you shuffled around until you were both comfortable, which meant you were perched on his lap. You took the opportunity to snuggle up against his chest, breathing in the scent of his clothes and the faint remnants of his cologne—a deadly combination on a sober day.

"Baby?"

"Hm?"

"Why are we in the middle of your kitchen?"

Blinking your eyes open, you looked around, feeling a little sheepish. "Well, the air conditioning is best felt right here, and since it's sweltering everywhere else in this apartment, I made the executive decision to spend some time right where the air blows out. Might as well make the best use of the money I'm spending, right?"

Harry shook his head, more than used to your antics by now. "And it had nothing to do with the wine in that glass of yours?"

"Oh. Well that too."

Laughing, he nuzzled his nose against your cheek, and you let him, happy to be wrapped up in him after spending so much time apart.

"I've missed you terribly," he mumbled, not even bothering to move from where he was pressing kisses into your neck.

"I've missed you too. Wine nights and Survivor aren't the same without you."

Leaning back, Harry reached for the glass you offered him and took a sip of the wine in it. "Good choice," he said offhandedly before circling back to his point. "You're always more than welcome to join me on tour, you know."

"I know."

"And you wouldn't have to pay for a single thing. I would take care of every—"

"H, we've talked about this."

It was no secret that Harry had more money than you did. It wasn't something the two of you talked about, nor was it a point of contention. For the most part. You were more than accustomed to a simpler way of life, and Harry loved spoiling you, and sometimes the middle ground was murky, but you had boundaries. You didn't want him to pay for everything just because he could. You could too, it just took a little longer.

"I know, I'm sorry. Won't bring it up again. Tell me about your day. Was John giving you a hard time again?"

You took the change of subject in stride, always eager to talk about your coworkers who didn't do much work. But in the back of your mind, guilt lingered.

It wasn't like Harry was trying to throw his money at you, he just wanted to spend time with you, and you couldn't really fault him for that. Sometimes it felt like you got in the way of your own relationship, even if Harry never said that himself, nor would he ever. He wanted to help you pay for a trip that would allow you to spend more time with him, why couldn't you let him?

"While this has been fun, I think it's time we take this party to bed," Harry said a while later. You'd spent a couple more glasses of wine on the beanbag chair, but both of you were sporting droopy eyes.

"Classy, Styles," you joked anyway, standing up and offering a hand to help him out of the chair.

Harry stretched his arms above his head when he was finally on his feet, a couple pops coming loose from his back. "Ha ha. I'm not as young as I used to be, you know."

"Don't I know it. Come on, grandpa. Let's get you to bed."

Harry chuckled, but let you lead him down the hall to your room. You got ready for bed side by side, then promptly fell into bed, kicking the covers away so it wasn't so hot while you slept. Harry kissed you a couple times, holding your cheek in his hand as he slotted his leg between yours. Your eyes closed at the feeling, happy to have him beside you again after spending so much time away from each other. But that only made you feel guilty all over again.

"I know what you're thinking," he said, not even bothering to look up as he continued to kiss you.

"Oh yeah? What am I thinking?"

"I'm not upset with you for not letting me pay for your plane ticket. I never have been."

That made you freeze. It took a couple tries, but you eventually managed to hold his face in your hands so you could look at him properly. "Really?"

"Of course. Do I wish you'd let me spoil you the way I really, really want to? Definitely. Do I also love you enough to maintain your boundaries and respect your desire to be financially independent? Also definitely."

You couldn't help but laugh a little, though maybe it was the wine you'd had earlier. "You sound like my therapist."

"Yes, well, I did meet with mine before I got on the plane, so..."

You laughed even harder then, and Harry giggled with you. Leaning forward, you kissed his cheek a couple times, then said, "Thank you. I just...I don't want you to feel like I'm using you, but I also don't want to be the reason we don't spend time together."

"So we compromise," Harry said simply.

"And how do we do that?" you asked, curious to hear his answer.

"Not tonight, silly. Neither of us are sober enough for that conversation. It can wait until tomorrow."

You shrugged as best you could while laying down. Fair enough, you supposed. "Tomorrow, then."

Harry leaned forward and kissed your forehead once before capturing your lips in a kiss. "Tomorrow."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

[wtftarot]

How can you navigate your life from here on?

Thank you, @lifeofaie for suggesting this reading, I really loved the idea.

Listen, I fuckin love a good road trip, ok? And navigating on a road trip ain't that different from navigating your life. Great music and shitty snacks. Wrong turns and detours that end up being half the fun and the whole story later. Arriving later than you planned or having plans changed entirely. How it always seems like the more you try to plan and control things the more they go off the rails. What do you need to keep in mind on this road trip called life? (yes I know how dorky that was, nope I don't care, yes all of these are gonna be heavy on road trip metaphors) Consider this reading, stopping and asking a local for directions and I promise not to lead you to the den of a serial killer. What is your inner compass saying? Is it time to make a rest stop? Let's fuck around and find out.

as always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Road Stretching On, The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere, or the Road to Ol' Kentucky and head on to your reading

The Road That Stretches On

The Tower, Seven/ Swords Rx and the Magician on the bottom of the deck.

This reading is HEAVY. Some of y'all who came to this reading are dealing with some heavy mental shit. I am not a mental health professional, please seek one out. Tarot is awesome and helpful but it is not therapy.

Take a breath. I'm so fuckin serious right now. You need to breathe and clear your mind even for a second. Don't ya just love how many people come to readings and then ignore the simplest advice given? To just take a breath? ( I love y'all, but some of y'all need a lil call out every now and then) The reason why I'm pushing y'all to stop and breathe is cause y'all's mind never. fuckin. stops. does it? Never. I had to restart this reading three times, cause I just kept getting wrapped up in y'all's anxiety spiral. And, I know it's hard but if you never make a conscious decision to try and slow down and give yourself a second, it's not gonna happen. Human brains are mostly auto-pilot and if you don't try and take the reins every once in a while it'll just keep doing what it's doing. Y'all are incredibly overwhelmed by making decisions for your future. It's like you see your future like the picture you chose, a road stretching on forever that can lead to anywhere depending on the turns you make but for you there's something that could be lurking in each turn. Something you're not seeing and that is terrifying to you. Now the main contender here looks to be anxiety about the state of the world, climate change, wars, pollution, famine, natural disasters, and on and on. Like y'all seem to be thinking what's the point, everything's going to shit. Listen, I'm gonna try to be gentle but when I tell y'all I'm very passionate about this, I am downplaying so fuckin hard. A lot of people fall into this overwhelm, it's not your fault. Governments and corporations put a shit ton of effort into keeping us feeling overwhelmed, cause overwhelmed people are too drained to put up a real fight. The point of trying is you being happy. That is worth it. The point is you can spread that joy. The point is to make a difference while you can. The point is that yeah, the world may be going to hell in a handbasket and you're just one person but you are a whole ass person. Who doesn't have to take this shit lying down. You want to live your life but are terrified of what might happen if you do. You feel like the world is a scary place and it can be sometimes, but you're so scared of truly stepping into the world, you never let yourself be or do much. It's like y'all are super fuckin excited for the road trip but are so scared of what may be around any turn, you just keep going on the same road letting it take you wherever it does. To get anywhere you want to go you have to make some choices. Yea, they may not always turn out how you planned but here's the thing: You will be okay. What you need to do to navigate your life? I'm sorry, y'all are gonna hate this advice but trust yourself. Sweetie, you are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for, hell you may not have any knowledge of your full capabilities cause you've never let yourself reach them. Tarot readings can help you navigate, but all the readings in the world won't help you get anywhere if you never put your foot on the gas.

random ass vibes: I dunno if y'all forgot to eat but like I've been ravenous this whole reading, The cartoon Roadrunner, venus, tea, sunburn, flowers, 666

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere

The Star, the Five/Pentacles Rx and the High Priestess on the bottom of the deck.

Listen, honey. You can handle this. And you know you can. You're listening to your intuition, learning to trust yourself if you don't already. Y'all are navigating your life, you may have rough moments as we all do but y'all are learning to handle those moments with grace. I'm not gonna lie, it took me a minute to figure out why y'all are even at this reading, seems like the topic of this reading ain't something y'all need help with. And it ain't, y'all are killing it in this area. The reason y'all are here? Y'all need some encouragement. Maybe need is the wrong word, cause y'all are doing fuckin awesome either way. Deserve. That's the word. Y'all deserve some encouragement. The road you're on may be unconventional or the people around you very strongly disagree with. Or maybe they just strongly disagree with you, your identity as a person. (I dunno where "strongly disagree" is coming from but it keeps popping up in my head?) I feel like y'all have actively had people put you down and were able to power through and encourage yourselves, so you may not need others to encourage you. BUT we all deserve to be encouraged, just cause you can power through without supportive voices doesn't mean that you should have to. SO GET READY FOR SOME CHANNELED ENCOURAGEMENT MOTHERFUCKER! Y'all have been doing a fuckin amazing job moving away from shitty past situations and are not fucking giving yourselves enough credit. Yes, even if it was "just" some mental blocks. Oh, "just" a mental block are you kidding me? Do you know how hard getting over your own mental bullshit is?? Y'all are over here, learning to parkour over your mental bullshit like a goddamn ninja, acting like it's no big deal. Sweetie, that's huge, you do realize that? To be honest with yourself, call yourself on your bullshit and then do something about it? Step fuckin one of that is daunting. And I'm hearing that y'all were able to get through faster than even your guides were expecting. Honey, how powerful are you? Not only that, but y'all are learning to argue with your self-deprecating thoughts. Asking them, who gives a shit what they have to say? And taking all the energy you used to put into pushing yourself down and using it to build yourself up. That's SO fuckin badass, y'all! Talk about fuckin alchemizing shit. Y'all saw how much time and energy it was taking to keep yourself small and hurt, thought: Wonder what would happen if I used that to build myself up instead? And then you went and did it and ITS FUCKIN GORGIOUS. The blessings are gonna start rolling in with this new energy, but you already knew that. Cause motherfucker YOU are the blessing! Y'all are really embodying your own power and strength and are KICKING ASS. The last message is to let yourself rest, y'all are doing a lot. So give yourself a break, let yourself sleep in a bit later. Set aside time to just chill, you won't lose your progress while you sleep.

random ass vibes: receiving roses, worms, gardening, astronomy designs on clothes, 18, hide and seek

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The Road to Ol' Kentucky

Shout out to all my fellow Kentuckians! How y'all doing?

The Moon Rx, The Queen/Wands, the Page/Cups Rx and the Five/Wands Rx on the back of the deck

Y'all are being called to really embody yourself and your power moving forward. It seems like y'all not only have it in your head that you're a Page when you're a Queen (queen energy, not gender). You're wrong about the whole damn suit. Others may have convinced you you're being sensitive when they're being an asshole and you're pissed about it. (As if letting people talk shit about you is "weak" right?) Y'all think you're the negative aspects of the Cups: Overly emotional, flakey, manipulative, disorganized, and self-centered. When the truth is you're the positive aspects of the Wands: Passionate, creative, driven, confident, and strong-willed. Y'all are really fuckin hard on yourselves, okay? Others may have been intimidated by your strengths and convinced you they were your weaknesses. If y'all have been feeling stuck, this is why, alright? You are stuck cause you've been told that the way to get unstuck IS the reason you're stuck. Think of it like this, y'all are an airplane, convinced by cars that flying is your biggest weakness, trying to figure out why you never seem to get anywhere. Airplanes can roll around, sure but they're MADE to fly. It's time to do some hard thinking, probably back to when you were a kid. What were the things you loved and pursued, how did you pursue them and what bullshit did others say about it? Like, did you get super focused on an activity you were doing, forget about choirs or some shit, and then be called irresponsible and lazy? When you wanted something, were you the type to push and work towards it, then be called stubborn or relentless or annoying when others decided they wanted you to do something else? Because there are some good qualities y'all have that are how you're supposed to show up in the world that you're not letting yourself embody. To be clear, I'm not talking about being told you're acting like an asshole when you were, in fact acting like an asshole. I'm talking about strengths you had that were demonized to you and in an effort to be a better person you stopped using. Now they've atrophied and you've gotta work them out to get them back. Cause, listen the typical way of navigation ain't gonna work for you. Y'all can continue to roll around and try to get where you wanna go, but it's gonna be slow and a billion times harder. You ever seen an airplane trying to go down a road through town? Think a sec on on how hard that would be. Cause that's you, right now. There are no road maps for the sky, ya know? Y'all are charting your own path. You need to stop trying to make yourself follow the road map for life that others are using. It's not gonna work for you, cause it was never meant to. Y'all are on an unconventional path, the only way forward is to embrace it.

random ass vibes: Back To The Future, coffee, night owl, finding your people, reds oranges and yellows, clouds, libra, cats. Thelma and Louise

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#tarot reading #tarot #divination #tarot community #tarot cards #pick a card #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #wtftarot #tarot readings #tarotblr #Spotify

[deadpool15]

Mommy Duties P.2

"Hola mi amigos, it's your girl Cassie. And today is a very special day. And before you hit me with the omg, she is finally having the baby comments. No, this thickass baby isn't coming until like 2 months from now. Anyways, today will be a pool day. So, I'm sure everyone knows that last time I visited Bada on set, and while I was there, Mina and some of the staff suggested I come to their little pool break. Now, it will be a bit difficult because, well, you know who isn't ready yet. Obviously, Corey is a toddler and feels the need to make everything difficult."

Cassie says dramatically while walking around the house, trying to gather all of Corey's things. Realizing, i forgot to pack his diapers, which is the most important thing. I laugh at the camera, looking around my room before sitting on to my bed, trying to figure out where the hell I put those diapers. "I swear I had them last night yall, shit just be disappearing in this house." I look down on the floor and see the diapers sitting right there still in the pack, turning around looking at the camera with a guilty smile on my face. "We just gonna edit that out, I don't need yall knowing my pregnancy brain be fucking with me ok. And while we are on the topic of kids, I just wanna let yall know how I raise mine is how we meaning me and my wife choose to raise our son. I've gotten comments saying all this and that while questioning my methods. Like first of all, I do say I will hit him sometimes when he does shit but I always just yell. I mean, I don't put my hands on him. I grey up with Dominican parents yall trust me I know what the fuck I'm doing. Second, aren't Asian parents known for giving their kids childhood trauma? How about yall ask yall kids why they are so afraid yo fail and depressed before you come at me. Thank you."

Now, after that moment, I managed to get Corey ready. "I got him ready off camera mainly because he was being a bit fussy. It's slightly earlier than when I usually wake him up, so bear with my baby yall." I state after grabbing all the items, including my son, who is currently in the process of going to sleep. Thank God for that. Hopefully, he will wake up with a lot of energy when we get there and get worn out. Carrying everything to my car with a sleeping baby and being pregnant, call me superwoman at this point. I unlock the car door and place everything inside, making sure that Corey is all tucked in before I start driving. I make my way towards the front of the car and sit down, getting ready to go. "Yall, be sitting there saying our heights are so funny to look at compared to Bada. Like, yall simply don't know the struggle. Every time I get in this vehicle, I have to adjust the seat before I drive. Like who can drive from all the way back here. The steering wheel is in Korea, and the drivers seat is in Japan. That's a time difference here, people. Anyways, I'm gonna be doing a little Q&A to keep yall preoccupied. So, yall don't have to focus on my side profile."

Luffy57-When did you and Bada decide to have kids?

Monsterhigh99-Why do you always call them Bada's kids, aren't they just technically yours?

I read the first two questions, trying to gather all the information before I start up the car so I won't have to keep looking down or anywhere else but the road while driving. "OK, to be honest, I didn't want kids like at all. I'm not saying you are supposed to like count kids out if you are with a woman. But me personally, I didn't want any. I just could never see myself as a mother, I didn't want to. But, I met Bada, and life kinda changed. Now, ywll don't go thinking just because you meet people, your perspective will automatically change. Bada didn't change my decision, I did. I envisioned a different life for myself. After doing some thinking, I decided." I said while looking at the camera for a split second and looking back at the road. Until we reached a red light. And I glance at Corey. "He always knocked out in the car."

I sit there for a while, thinking about food, to be honest. Then I remember the second question, and the light turns green, causing us to go back on the road again. "Right, my bad yall. So, wait, what was the question again? Ooo, right, so I obviously call them her kids because they are. I mean, we are both raising them, so it shouldn't matter about the little details. Second, technically, Corey is literally her son. He looks like both of us. Bada wanted to be more involved in the process when we decided that I would be the first runner-up to have the baby. She volunteered, even though she was scared too. But here, career was just taking off, and I refused to have her waste time when she was finally getting recognized. So, she offered to give me some of her eggs and stuff like that, and yea shit happens."

I look up and see the building, realizing we made it. I call Bada to help with stuff. Because I no longer feel like carrying all this shit anymore.

Myocean💖-Hello baby

Mywife💞-You mind introducing yourself to the exit to come help me carry all this stuff.

Myocean💖-And by stuff, do you mean our child and his things?

Mywife💞-Yes, before I randomly decide to make today not your day, if you keep sweet talking me Ms. Lee

Myocean💖-Whatever you say, baby. I'm on my way, Mrs. Lee

I hand up the phone smiling. "That's my baby yall." I giggle all girly like, and then I see Bada smiling at me through the window. "Omg, what is wrong with you? Couldn't you have told me you were here, out here scaring me." She opens the car door before looking me up and down, "and ruin your little moment. Nah, baby, I wouldn't do that. Are you wearing a top under that ?" I look down at my pink bathing suit top before looking up at her. "Baby, this is the top. I mean, it literally has long sleeves and stuff." She stares at me while poking her tongue on the inside of her cheek. She only does that when she is made or annoyed. "Now, would it happen to have long sleeves because you are trying to make for that fact that you happen to me wearing a thong under that skirt?" I just kiss her check telling her how much I love her.

After some minor issues with Bada, we finally make it into the building, with her carrying Corey, who, by the way, had finally woken up and chosen his favorite to spend the day with as always. "Crazy, how you hold a lid for 9 months only for them to come out picking the other as their favorite. I'm basically just a storage closet." She laughs at my remarks and kisses the corner of my lips, causing a whine to leave my lips. "Behave." I listen for the moment. We make our way inside, and I see all the girls playing in the water. I almost forgot that tsubakill members were eliminated. Then I see Mina running up to me. "Omg, you made it. I thought you weren't gonna come. Almost had to beg Bada to get you here." I turn around and look at Bada while hugging Mina.

"Of course, I made it. I mean, who would miss a free pool day." We chuckle at each other before she grabs my hand, and I turn to look a Bada seeing her motion towards Bebe. Letting me know where they will be. "I just thought with Corey and everything you would be busy, you know," she says while sitting us down, making sure to place a cushion under me. I nod as a sign of thanks. "I mean, he was eager to come when I told him this morning, though I think he completely forgot. He was only focused on the fact that I was waking him up early." We laugh together, and soon the whole crew of DeepnDap comes over, greeting me. Though, since I mainly know Mina, I stick with her throughout the day. We talk for what feels like hours. She gets a bit touchy after seeing her with her members. I notice that's just how she is. I can't help but feel a certain stare on me, knowing who it is I excuse myself.

I walk over to the table, grabbing something to drink. Until I hear breathing behind me, startling me. I turn and find Bada looking at me with a smirk on her face. "You scared the shit out of me, baby. Don't do that." She completely disregards my statement. "You and Mina seem to be getting along quite well, don't you think?" I grab my chest startled by her walking up on me. "Bada what the fuck, my heart can't take all that, and I don't know what you're talking about." Ofc I knew what she was talking about I just liked to fuck with her. How evil of me, right? "Well, whether you choose to know or not, you're off the market. I stare up at her now that she has gotten closer. "Is that so?" "Yes it is so. Because the moment I put that ring on your finger, actually fuck that the moment I looked at you, you were off the market. And now that you're carrying our baby, it just makes it better. Now tell her to back off before I have to do a repeat last night." I shyly turned to face the table again, making myself busy. "I don't know what you're talking about last night wasn't all that good." "O, really?"

Flashback

For the night, Bada's parents agreed to watch Corey. Saying they missed their grandchild, but I think it was simply for our alone time. Considering they winked at me while picking up Corey's toys. Bada's mom even told me to be careful and pointed to my stomach. But now that was long forgotten, well, at least by me. As I'm laid on all fours, completely at the mercy of Bada, with her constantly slamming her strap into me. "F-fuck... slow down...m. mmm." She leaned down and locked a bold strip of my neck, "really, I thought I wasn't moving fast enough. Now it's slow down. You just don't know what the fuck you want, huh? Just a greedy little whore." As she says that last word she makes sure to push in harder making me see stars. I didn't know whether I wanted her to go faster or slow down anymore. It all felt too good. The only thing anyone could her in or outside of the room was skin claps on skin claps. And of course, me screaming for my fucking life. "Just needed this can't filled, that all you ever need, huh? Just me." I can't register what she is saying anymore. "Y-yes fill it upp."

End Flashback

Bada is sitting there reminding me of everything that happened last night. "OK, ok, I'm sorry, I remember shit." I tell her, hoping she will stop embarrassing me before she drags me to the nearest bathroom. "Bada, we can't do that here. What about everyone? And Corey?" I ask already in fear and slight excitement of what she is doing. "Corey is sleeping." She states while turning me around, shoving me into the sink, though making sure not to hurt my stomach. She is always cautious about that. "And everyone else should mind their business and now their place. Which is not with my wife, much like Mina, correct?" I simply nod as she pulls down my thong bottoms and immediately shoves a finger in my pussy. "I fucked how many times last night and you're still fucking tight. So I have to fuck you open again, huh princess?" I look at her though the mirror before looking down in embarrassment.

"Look at the mirror right fucking now." I hurry and look up and make eye contact with her as she places another finger inside and rubs my clit hard. "Answer me, you know I don't like repeating myself. Remember your manners." I start to answer or try to, as all that comes out is a much of bullshit. "Y-yes please fuck me open. J-just f-uck me so good, Bada." She nods her head, getting down on her knees, causing me to grab her shoulders to stop her. "But-", she kisses my lips, shutting me up for the time being. "No more, talking baby, just let me eat, ok."

*request by @vachieve

#street woman fighter 2 #swf2 #street woman fighter x reader #bada lee x reader #bada lee #mina myoung

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 6

you saw me as someone worth saving.

i didn’t want what happened to change the way you saw me.

we’re gonna get through this. we kind of have to.

sometimes our mistakes follow us.

in fact, i did not start out a bad person.

glory’s fine. revenge is more fun.

as usual, i make the wrong decision.

i was scared. i’m just tired of being scared. 

all that rage is bad for your complexion. 

you are so sweet and naive and dumb.

curious. how many more rock bottoms are you going to have to hit before you start taking care of yourself?

i used to think a lot of shit matters.

talking makes things real. and real things end.

i wanted to be a part of your world. but i didn’t know your world was like this. 

i’m so sick of people telling me who i am.

the guilt of it all. what are we supposed to do with that? 

i don’t want to be afraid anymore.

it’s like i always used to need someone else to make me feel whole. 

you didn’t let me down.

you’re this fiery, passionate person.

we’re working to stop the monsters and to stop people from turning into monsters.

it’s important to have an exit plan that’s more than just an exit.

maybe it’s not so bad when you’re the one holding the knife.

at least i know who i am.

i’m nobody’s guiding light.

i don't belong to anybody.

i was alone. surrounded by people, but still alone.

rise and shine, we’re in hell. 

this is the worst it’s been. that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

you’re going dark on me again.

if you’re bullshitting me, i don’t care.

i never wanted to be the bad guy.

why did anyone ever do shit for me when all i ever did was let them down?

look at you, always standing in my fucking way.

your memory is like… lethally selective.

what if we end up making each other freaking miserable?

what if i hurt you? i’ve hurt people before. very badly.

for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you.

you’re the future, kid. never forget that. 

i guess i just want it to make some kind of sense.

however this plays out, i’m seeing it through with you.

you’ve done a lot, no question. but there is always more.

you believed in me when i didn’t.

this may shock you, but not everyone here likes you.

this place makes you face your demons or something, and turns out, your demons are really fucking ugly.

maybe in the end it’ll be me and you trying together. 

maybe it makes me selfish. i don’t think it makes me wrong.

there’s a whole world out there for you. go. fight for it. be brave.

i'm talking the greater good. doesn't always have to be what's best for everybody.

it doesn’t matter how shitty they are. it still fucks you up when they’re gone.

sometimes, someone comes into your life at just the right moment, you know?

stop being mad at me for wanting a different future.

you’re not like the others. but you know that, don’t you?

this isn’t pressure. it’s winning. 

i want a life where we can just… be. 

the worst has already fucking happened. i don’t think i’ve got it in me to be that scared about something that could be good.

we can’t save anyone until we save ourselves.

if you’re with me, i need you to say it.

what gives you the right to choose who lives and who dies?

i don’t know how this is going to end or what happens to me, but for whatever it’s worth, i am with you. 

why am i always doing bad things in your dreams?

you don’t trust anybody else to take care of things.

enough people have died. 

tell me you didn’t kill anyone. if you say it, i’ll believe you.

thank you for believing in me. 

i don’t wanna die.

i was just following your lead the whole time. we all were.

i’m not a hero. i’m just helping a friend.

i don’t think this is goodbye. 

you need someone to help get you there, and you have to get there.

i’m sorry you met me, but i’m glad i got to know you. i’ll never forget you.

can’t i just blame everything on my mother and be done with it?

the whole world’s haunted.

i did monstrous things. 

you’re happy. which you’re allowed to be, in case you didn’t know.

just because someone saved your life doesn’t mean you have to live the rest of it for them.

it is not up to you to carry everyone else.

put your trust in other people. in me.

sometimes, helping hurts like hell.

i just wish sometimes i had a map to figure you out.

it’s a crazy world out here, full of people who sometimes disappoint us, but it’s damn beautiful.

i’m sorry. small words for something so big.

what do you live for? living takes effort now, it takes everything. those still alive have their reasons.

the world is nothing without hope.

think about what you want. what you truly want.

the bad things we do must be done. we carry that burden so the others don’t have to.

i’m gonna screw with your life just like the way you did with mine.

this place, it’s safe. it’s good for everybody.

we take what we got, and we make it work.

they changed the game, so we change how we play.

oh my god, you killed him.

#* #sentence prompts #ask memes #rp ask meme #rp sentence prompts #one liner starters #ask meme #meme

[mykoreanlove]

I want to live a different type of life - with you

Enter into an alternative universe with ya favorite maknae #leetaemin

„Baby, are you sure?“

You were holding his hand nervously while standing in front of the company building. You had talked about this moment a lot, yet you were more anxious than him. Taemin turned to face you while squeezing your hand softly.

„100 percent. I wanna do this“, he nodded sternly and walked inside, changing the course of his life forever.

Every morning you woke up from thousand wet kisses which were plastered carefully all over your face.

„Wakey Wakey, my Princess. Breakfast is served“, he whispered while giggling into your ear. You groaned dramatically, swinging your arms around his lean torso.

„The Princess is still tired though“, you mumbled softly. Taemin grinned and slid under the silk covers with you, cuddling for a little longer.

„In that case breakfast can wait.“

„Y/N!“

Taemin threw the sturdy textbook into the next corner and sighed in frustration. You came running, sensing his urgent tone which made you slightly nervous.

„What’s wrong?“

His pout was so adorable, you almost forgot that he was feeling blue.

„Your language is way too complicated. How am I supposed to learn all this?“

„Baby, you are supposed to have a hard time. That’s how studying works.“

He rolled his eyes at you, even more annoyed now.

„Do you want to go to the farmer’s market and test out your knowledge?“

He shook his head in disagreement.

„Do you want me to test you?“

He frowned in annoyance.

It took everything within you not to burst out into laughter, his annoyed pout was the sweetest thing you had ever seen. You walked up to him slowly, placing delicate kisses on the back of his neck - a gesture that always made him weak.

„Do you want to use the other language you’re fluent in?“, you whispered seductively. Taemin got up quickly and took your hand into his, guiding you into the bedroom while mumbling stubbornly.

„At least I’m a pro in body language.“

You discovered the town and the rural areas on your own as much as you could. Just the two of you. No matter where you went, Taemin didn’t let go of you.

„I want to hold your hand while we’re on the streets, baby. In secret and in public. I want to kiss you at the beach, y/nnie. In the morning and at night. I want to take a thousand pictures with my camera, of only you and me.“

He took another look at the scenery and smiled contentedly.

„Nobody gives a shit about me here and I love it. I feel like it’s only you and me. The sun and the ocean, the moon and the stars. Y/N and Taemin, true love meant to be.“

„Taemin?“

You had been searching for him for hours, yet he was nowhere to be found. Panic arose in you - what if something had happened to him?

„Taemin? Lee fucking Taemin?!“

You wandered around the area, asking strangers for help but nobody had seen the mysterious love of your life. At last, you found him in a secluded spot at the beach, overlooking the crashing waves. You were beyond furious but decided to swallow your anger for now, giving him a chance to explain yourself first. You sat down next to him and waited. Taemin didn’t turn to face you, but his pinky searched for yours, signaling that he was ready.

„I am sorry“, he said calmly.

„What happened?“

He took a deep breath before explaining himself.

„I love our life here, y/n. I do. But sometimes I get so anxious and start to overthink. Was moving here the right decision after all?“

You felt the tension rise in your gut, always having been afraid of this exact moment.

„Do you regret it?“, you whispered anxiously.

Taemin still looked at the ocean, avoiding your piercing gaze.

„No, I don’t regret it. I just… I don’t know who I am anymore. If I’m not an idol, then who am I?“

His voice broke at the last part, followed by him laughing nervously. He always overshadowed his insecurities by being goofy, diverting away from his emotional turmoil. Your anxiety vanished and got replaced by empathy. Empathy for this beautiful boy that was brave enough to leave his old life behind and embrace the unknown. You grabbed his arm and leaned on his shoulder, providing him with the stability he so desperately needed.

„Maybe it’s not about who you are but who you choose to become, Taem. Finally, you get to decide.“

„Y/Nnie, be honest. I gained weight, haven’t I?“

Taemin wiggled his skinny legs in front of you, concern on his beautiful facial features.

„Yeah, you have.“

His eyes widened in shock, fearing the worst - his automatic response.

„Fuck, I need to go on a diet again“, he mumbled disappointedly.

You thought of all the delicious food he had made for you and how happy he looked when he had accomplished a new dish. For once he forgot about his obsession with weight and lived just for him but you feared he would starve himself again. Quickly, you shot up from the couch and walked over to him.

„Don’t you dare! I love your body the way it is, baby.“

He looked at you suspiciously.

„How? I’m not super skinny anymore?“

„Exactly“, you agreed. „Finally, I don’t feel like fucking a skeleton anymore“, you teased as you squeezed his ass.

Most evenings you took a walk by the beach, chatting about your day and plans for the following week. Taemin lit up as brightly as the sun when he was able to communicate his thoughts in your native language, the one he had been studying relentlessly. He got even happier if he was able to interact with locals.

„A little kid came up to me this morning“, he boasted proudly.

„Oh really? Why?“

„He asked me why I looked so different. And then I told him about Korea, and he thought I was so cool. We even played soccer after that!“

Happiness was radiating from his every cell, he finally felt like making progress. Taemin spun you around and embraced you in his strong arms, beaming at you with the utmost love.

„Y/N, when we get kids someday I want them to grow up bilingual.“

You looked at him surprised; this was the first time he brought up building a family.

„Kids?“

He nodded sweetly.

„Yes. One mini-you and one mini-me.“

„Come on, work out with me“, he begged. Taemin was jumping up and down, way too happy about working out.

„Why? Whyyyyyyyy?“, you groaned annoyed. „Is it because I called you a skeleton? Is this payback, huh?“

Your boyfriend laughed out loud, guiding you to the racks with him.

„Fine“, he gave in. „Can you count my leaps then?“

He got down on the ground and laid on his back, starting with sit-ups.

„One.“

He got down and came back again.

„Two.“

Taemin repeated the same motion but you already forgot to count.

„Hey! Can you focus please? I really need you to count for me. That’s my only kind of motivation, baby.“

You raised your brow while smirking.

„Oh, motivation you say? I got you!“

Taemin laid down again and swiftly rose to his knees, looking at you expectedly. Instead of counting you kissed him quickly, which made him blush shyly. He repeated the same motion for endless rounds, grinning more and more with each kiss he stole from you.

————-

The end (for now)

#mykoreanlove #taemin x reader #taemin edits #taemin fanfic #taemin x you #taemin scenario #shinee taemin #taemin shinee #lee taemin #taemin #taemin imagine #taemin oneshot #taemin angst #taemin smut #taemin drabble #taemin fluff #taemin x y/n #taemin boyfriend #shinee imagines #shinee angst #shinee scenarios #shinee fic #shinee fluff #shinee #shinee x reader #shinee fanfic #shinee masterlist #superm taemin #superm x reader #kpop x y/n

[forpiratereasons]

Right now, I just want to do what makes Ed happy.

Ed talks a lot about how being with Stede is fun but I love the way he says this. He wants to be happy. He doesn't want to have to be anyone else. He doesn't want to have to fight for survival or to be responsible for making decisions or to carry the weight of his crew's lives. He's handling it so well - being captured, losing everything - because he still has Stede, and because on some level I think it was a relief. To not have to worry. To not have to run. To not have to put on the mask. To fold socks and take care of Stede and do some fucking grunt work without being asked to constantly expend.

He asked Stede to teach him the ways of an aristocrat, but that's not even really what Ed wants. That's just what looks the most possible to Ed - that's the same fantasy a millennial has about winning the lottery and buying a house with 97 bedrooms in LA and jetsetting to tahiti and spending all doing fuck-all except being rich and famous. It looks shiny and new and easy, but it doesn't hold up to closer inspection. The house may have 97 bedrooms, but they'd all be empty. It isn't until Ed falls in love with Stede that he realizes that what he's wanted all along isn't 97 bedrooms.

He just wants to love. And be loved. He just wants to be happy.

The folding socks scene is about realizing that it doesn't matter how many bedrooms (or bunk beds, as it were) there are. He knows what he wants because he's had everything he's fought for stripped away and he's still happy because he has what matters, and that's Stede.

Ed doesn't want to go back to be Blackbeard. He wants to escape with Stede and live a life somewhere else.

It's the moment the millennial fantasy changes from the 97 bedrooms in LA and that sterile, empty fantasy to a fantasy of a little cottage somewhere close to the sea, with a kitchen they can both fit in and a garden they can both work in and maybe there's only one bedroom but it's more than enough as long as he's not alone in it. He wants to wear soft, comfortable clothes and tell stories and laugh and plan fuckeries not because they need to in order to survive but just because it's fun doing it. And he wants to fold Stede's silly little socks because they're Stede's, and because he loves Stede, and sometimes when you love someone being able to fold their socks for them feels sacred.

The desire to be happy always sounds like such a small thing. Almost a childish word that is - happy. As adults we talk more about security or fun or we use words that sound more grown up like content or we downplay happiness entirely - oh, I had a good weekend, oh, same shit different day, oh, you know, livin the dream. But happiness really isn't a small thing at all! And it can live in the little moments, yeah, but it is foundational. It's elemental to the experience of being a person. And you can see that in Ed, in that moment - that he is experiencing himself, fully and completely and only as a human being. Not a legend or a monster. He is just a human being, striving for happiness, and he's found that in Stede.

What a small but huge thing Ed says then. It sounds so little, but it means so much. It does mean all those other words we use - security and fun and safety and laughter and comfort and satisfied - but it also means something so much bigger. It means love and hope and a future. It means humanity, and maybe that little cottage on the beach, cups of tea in the morning, folding socks in the afternoon, an invitation and a plea and a leap of faith and trust laid out with an open hand.

After everything Ed's been through, after everything Ed's had to fight for, everything he's survived, he can still see all that. He can see all that with Stede.

What makes me happy is - you.

#it's loving edward teach hours #not that i would say no to winning the lottery !! #but i feel like there's a fantasy of wealth and power assuming it will bring happiness #and then there's a fantasy of happiness regardless of wealth and power #which is really what i'm getting at #ofmd #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

[male-hedonism-and-acting-cool]

so i saw you have headcanons on ur page, so i prompt you for more, unload all ur cattonquick headcanons can be nsft go wild mate

sorry it took me so long but here are almost 2k words of my cattonquick headcanons

Felix

dyslexia/adhd combo. has no idea until like late 20s/early 30s. gets medicated, and it changes his entire life (he even gets some kind of rich boy job)

but during oxford he's just struggling and insufferable. Oliver has to do some of his assignments for him (not often. usually when Felix forgets about them entirely and doesn't find someone to pay for doing them)

had chlamydia. do I really need to explain this one? boy fucks around a lot

wants to get his nipples pierced

likes horror stories and spooky urban legends and stuff but also gets scared shitless by them

he was around 10 when his dog died. was literally heartbroken, didn't eat for like a weak. swore to never have a pet again

once during boarding school procrastinated all of his works for the last moment drank five redbulls was awake for 43 hours to finish everything and went to two finals. slept for two days straight woke up with no memory of doing any of this and didn't have a caffeinated drink again for a couple of years (he still barely passed if you care)

has super boring stories about drunk nights out (because he's rich and popular, so there's always something looking after him). but he thinks they are crazy

turns into crazy people pleaser if you as much as hint that you don't like him

​Oliver

autistic

thinks he's great at masking (he does know it's masking because he's also not diagnosed but he's highly aware that he performs different versions of himself for people and believes it's him being an evil genius or something)

is actually shit at masking. he can put his shit together and act a certain way for some time (like he did with other Cattons). but most of the time he's a little freak type of guy, and everyone notices

he also won’t talk to anyone unless he absolutely needs to (he almost failed a class because he needed to do a group project but didn’t like the group he was assigned to, so he tried to email “sorry to miss our group meeting but here’s my part of the work” his way out of talking to any them)

since they spend almost all the time together, Felix knows him in his closest to not masking state

I think his dad does have drinking problems, but he's more like a functional alcoholic so no one cares

likes reading long books. like 600+ pages long. they provide him with a sense of stability

I know he doesn't look like it, but he did have friends at school. mostly children of his parent's friends or people from his classes. he doesn't keep in touch with any of them, and it's his decision (he misses them sometimes, but it's more like he misses the idea of having friends than actual people)

started using contact lenses because Felix would always mention how he likes the color of his eyes

really picky about food and would rather starve than eat something he doesn't like. skips meals at oxford all the time if eggs at the dining hall are cooked in the wrong way or something like this

tries to quit smoking at some point later in life but decides it's not worth it with all the passive smoking from living with Felix

talks in his sleep. not much and not often, but still

becomes a writer and write really fucked up stories with dark academia vibes (partially because he turned into a fucking gremlin when he discovered academic validation and never let it go + partially as a love letter to Felix, his uni sweetheart who, let's be honest, kinda peaked at uni)

gets close with his second sister when she grows older (she and the youngest one have a similar age difference to Oliver and the oldest sisters, and their parents treated them similarly. so they bond over being ignored and forced into taking care of their younger siblings) parents treated them similarly. so they bond over being ignored and forced into taking care of their younger siblings)

cattonquick

Felix is one year older than most people in his class. because he took a gap year after school to "experience life" (get drunk in nine different European countries) and "get to know himself" (receive a couple of mediocre hand-jobs from other rich boys and make some conclusions about his sexuality). he would've been one year Oliver's senior but when Oliver was five he had severe pneumonia and was too weak to start school (like a fucking victorian child). so he started a year later and they are the same age

they do awful couple Halloween costumes (there are also people dressing as them for Halloween as couple costumes, that’s how annoying they are)

they are "facebook official" if you care (it was a big deal for possessive mentally unstable people back then, trust me, my favorite movie is the social network)

Felix has insane separation anxiety (like those dogs on tiktok that grew up during covid with their owners always around)

he would sit in Oliver's laps at parties, play with Oliver's clothes or hair while he's doing his work, ask Oliver to join him in the shower because I need to wash my hair so it's gonna be a long shower and I'll miss you and then you'll go to the shower and I'll miss you even more

but once in a while he gets angry because he feels "too needy" so he ignores Oliver for the whole day or asks him to leave if they are together

then (you guessed it) he starts missing Oliver

at first, Oliver was freaking out every time this happened, but over time he figured out to just give Felix some time and come back later. it still hurts him though that Felix believes he can just send him away whenever he's tired of him

after days like this Felix does everything to show that he loves Oliver and wants him around. he cuddles him more, takes him to a bar or to one of their special places, buys him something (he keeps track of everything Oliver mentions he likes by texting Farleigh. Farleigh fucking hates it)

but still the best way to show Oliver that he won't suddenly get bored of him once and for all one day is to stop doing shit like this. and Felix fails to do it. so they pretend it never happened until it happens again

Oliver always pulls Felix for a kiss by the collar or by his hair. he never st­ands on his toes

they did acid toge­ther once. Felix was sure Oliver would love it but Oliver had an awful trip full of maze imagery and never tried psyched­elics again

for their first va­cation together, they go to France (mostly because Felix does­n't really care for traveling, and he kno­ws that Paris is the city of love or wha­tever). there're huge protests the second day they arrived. so they only go to Louvre and spend the whole two weeks in their hotel room

after Oliver and Felix date for a while and it's clear that Oliver isn't going anywhere Oliver and Farleigh start to develop some love/hate friendship. they mostly hang out toget­her, talk shit about everyone (including each other), and di­scuss poetry

Felix is insanely jealous. Farleigh is offended Felix thou­ght he would be into Oliver. Oliver finds it hilarious (he doesn't think it's hot because he already knows how possessive Felix is, which is hot, but this makes Felix nervous so Oliv­er isn't into it)

Oliver bites. not only during sex but in general. they can sit holding hands and talk and he will just bite Felix's ha­nd and continue talk­ing like nothing hap­pened. because Felix is a little spoon, he will often wake up from Oliver biting into the back of his neck and have a mark for the entire day. Felix gets used to it surprisingly eas­ily (and by gets used to it I mean he finds it unearthly hot, to­uches marks that Oli­ver leaves on him all the time and serio­usly thinks about ge­tting a tattoo of Ol­iver’s bite marks)

and yes he does call Oliver a vampire

Oliver has a couple of slightly worn t-shirts three sizes bigger for Felix to borrow (when they st­art living together a couple slowly turns into a whole drawe­r)

they never really lived in saltburn to­gether. but they went here for summer

when they start li­ving together (right after oxford they move into a two-story apartment) Oliver insists they both sho­uld have an office as some personal spac­e, mostly because he needs to get his wo­rk done. Oliver’s of­fice is very old-fas­hioned, with dark wo­oden furniture and tall bookshelves. he also gets a reproduc­tion of the Saltburn maze game. Felix do­esn’t know what to put in his office bec­ause he doesn’t need a fucking office. his only idea is to commission a portrait of Oliver, so for a couple of years (until he gets medicated and finds a rich boy job) his office has blank wall­s, a portrait of his boyfriend with a de­sk and a single chair across from it and nothing else. he en­ds up spending most of the time Oliver works on the couch at Oliver’s office any­way

Oliver has a lock of Felix's hair in a locket. very 18th century gothic poet style (Felix knows ab­out it btw. it was an anniversary gift)

Felix introduces Oliver as boyfriend, then fiancé, and then husband. Oliver al­ways introduces Felix as his life partner

they get married after six years toget­her

Felix is the one to propose (he waited for Oliver to do it, but Farleigh once told Oliver that he would look like a des­perate social climber if he proposes and Oliver internalized it immediately)

Oliver writes Felix love letters even after they’ve been together for years. full of admiration for small daily things Felix does, about how godly is even the way Felix brush his teeth; about small nice things that hap­pened to him because there’s no one in the world he would ra­ther share it with (much like Nabokov’s Letters to Vera)

Oliver doesn't bel­ieve in soulmates, and Felix claims to be personally victimiz­ed by it. but Oliver just loves to see it as a result of hard work they put into it. he doesn't think they were simply destined to be togeth­er, he believes it's years and years of them choosing to be together, choosing each other when there were so many easier options

as for nsfw

I don't think they have sex with penet­ration often

like Felix has oral fixation, and Oliver just prefers doing things with his han­ds or mouth

Felix is really vo­yeuristic and huge part of their sex life is just Felix putt­ing up a show for Ol­iver and Oliver watc­hing

Felix likes to do cookwarming (oral fi­xation + it grounds him and his adhd bra­in)

Oliver is really a service dom whatever Felix wants Oliver will find a way to do it

but his personal favorite is rimming Felix until he's all wet and finish him by sucking him off and fingerings him at the same time

#cattonquick #felix catton #oliver quick #saltburn #english is not my first language #I really treat this movie like a cute little romance

[amaiyajiki]

A Lover’s Argument (Akutagawa x reader)

..

Tags: Angst, Established relationship, Akutagawa being an asshole to reader, Swearing, mentions of Dazai and Akutagawa’s relationship, Ooc akutagawa?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You knew what you were gonna get yourself in when you got into a relationship with the mafia dog, Ryūnosuke Akutagawa. Also the past subordinate of Dazai Osamu. You knew that Akutagawa wanted attention or at least approval of his mentor. He was taught that emotions were for the weak and vulnerable. He was cold to everyone, even you, but you two had your own moments where he would be soft for you.

But....what led you two to have an argument like this....?

He insulted you so many times but you know he’s just trying his best. He was stubborn enough to not apologize ever because he thought he’s always right. You didn’t like it at all. You were sometimes hurt by his words but you pushed your feelings down.

You were tired, tired of work, tired of everything really. You took out your keys and stuck them into the key hole. You opened the door to your shared apartment. Akutagawa wasn’t back yet, so you decided to change your clothes and take a bath. You decided to scroll thorough your phone for a bit. After a few minutes later, you heard the door to your entrance open and be shut closed loudly. You sighed and got up from your bed to greet your boyfriend. He seemed...gloomy?  “Welcome home, Aku”, you greeted him. He didn’t reply to you but just stormed off to your guy’s shared bedroom. 

You sighed and followed him into your guy’s bedroom. You went to your bedroom and saw him beside the bed, clutching his fists, his body shaking horribly. You, being the kind partner, decided to touch his back and try to comfort him. But he flinched a bit and moved your hand away roughly. “Aku, what’s wrong?” “Just get away from me.”, Akutagawa said. You sighed, you were used to this kind of treatment. “Aku, What happened?” you tried to ask him but he just wouldn’t budge. But at last, he got annoyed with you. “CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP?!” Akutagawa shouted, “God, I don’t need your pity! nor your kindness! I am not weak!” His eyes were cold and staring right at your eyes. 

You flinched a bit, not expecting him to raise his voice. “Well I’m sorry for caring about my partner when he’s risking his life on the line!” “I don’t think you’re weak Akutagawa! Why can’t you understand that?!” You shouted at him. You were annoyed, really annoyed with his behavior. You clenched your fists in anger.

Akutagawa spoke again, “Well- I didn’t ask you to care about me. You’re way too weak and I would appreciate it if you kept that behavior to yourself and not force it on me.” That’s it. You had enough of Akutagawa’s bullshit. You shakingly sighed as you tried to contain your anger. “You know what? Fine, I won’t give two flying fucks about you, I won’t care about you when you get injured, I won’t annoy you. I won’t do shit to you if it bothers you THAT much”, You angrily said. Akutagawa’s eyes slightly widened a bit. You grabbed your coat from your dressing table.

“No wonder why Dazai-san up and left you! You’re way too stubborn for your own good! You know- Sometimes I question my decision about dating you.” You said all of that in one breath. You could feel Akutagawa tense up at those mentions. But before he could say anything, you stormed off and out the door you went. You needed to process or control your anger without seeing him or anyone. You know what you’ve said and you will probably regret it later but for now..... You wanted to calm down.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A/N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed reading this! This is kind of my first time writing angst so it might not be as good as you think-  After this post, I might post another fic before I go offline because my exams are coming up sadly-

(Also shouts out to my bestie for helping me with this fic and editing it)

#bsd anime #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #bsd x reader #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa x y/n #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd angst

[cosmonabo]

𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

Chapter four: Pride and Prejudice Description: [Name] ends up revealing her hidden intentions, but this helps her reach the next stage of the journalistic plan. Warnings: none.

[Previous] [Next]

Pride and more Pride

I waited patiently for his answer, so much so that I could hear him take a deep breath before turning to face me. His change of mood didn't surprise me in the slightest, after all, even I couldn't imagine asking for something like that, although if I were him, I'm sure I wouldn't have been so apprehensive.

"Not at all. It could be dangerous," he denied without hesitation.

'Right, I saw that one coming.'

I snorted. I frowned in dissatisfaction, even though I knew that my antics wouldn't have much effect on Mitsuya, in fact, they might even convince him that was making the right decision. I looked at him with a scowl like a few friends, to which he just raised his eyebrows, as if to say "What now?".

"I'm not afraid," I insisted, moving dangerously closer, "I don't want to join a gang if you're wondering, I've got a lot more to do! I just want to do some field research. That's all I need."

"And I've already told you no," he retorted, with an abundance of patience. Mitsuya put his hands on my shoulders, looking at me seriously, as if he were lecturing a younger brother, his stern expression silencing me for a few minutes "[Name], you don't know how dangerous the world of delinquents is. Depending on who you get involved with, you can get into a lot of shit! I'm not so irresponsible as to take you in a crossfire."

"Okay, Mom."

"I'm serious."

"And me too! " I reinforced, now taking control of the situation. I did myself the favor of disentangling myself from his arms to continue speaking "I have a job to do, and now the president is counting on me. I need to study the delinquents or all our efforts will go down the drain, don't you understand this?!"

I shouted. I got carried away in the heat of the moment and ended up saying more than I should have, covering my mouth when I realized.

"What do you mean 'our'? What have you done now?" He asked in exasperation.

I must have surprised him with the revelation.

'Shit…'

"It's just… Nothing… Nothing" I waved my hands frantically in irritation "Just forget it, okay? Never mind, I'll sort it out myself."

I let out a nervous laugh. He obviously got suspicious right away, arching an eyebrow. I had no idea what that expression was hiding. Disappointment? Anger?

"[Name], what have you done?" Mitsuya touched my shoulder peacefully, perhaps just trying to prevent me from walking away as abruptly as I always did.

I bit my lower lip, staring at the ground in frustration, only to turn angrily in the opposite direction, setting off with heavy, angry strides, not before letting my harsh venom drip from my words.

"It doesn't matter, I don't need you to help me."

"What's up?" The girl behind the counter stared at me, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Then I left him in the corridor, and walked away…" I swallowed, letting my thoughts weigh down the atmosphere as I scrubbed a table next to the store window. What an embarrassment.

"Man, you just fuck up in this life."

"You took the words right out of my mouth"

I let the core of my plans slip away, handed over my king's head on a platter; served in silver. I whimpered, trying to formulate a convincing lie as I rubbed the table hard, staring at how shiny it already was.

"But what about it? What are you going to tell him tomorrow?" Kyouka asked, leaning his head on the counter lazily.

"I'm still thinking about it" I say, without giving it much thought." Any ideas?

"Have you tried telling him the truth? Maybe he'll understand, you don't have to lie about everything, sometimes people understand that circumstances require certain attitudes."

"What? No! of course not." I shook my head in denial. "Don't be crazy, Kyouka, people aren't as understanding as they are in the movies."

"You're the only one who's crazy, you compulsive liar." Kyouka rolled her eyes, knowing that trying to convince me would be a significant waste of time "I just hope you don't keep lying to him, you know, that guy."

"Any particular reason?" I laughed humorlessly.

"He doesn't seem like a bad person," she mused, circling the counter with her index finger, "he's quite patient with you, if you ask me. "

I leaned my elbows on the counter, now looking at the glass door with the LED panel above it.

"I'm not that much of a liar," I said, and she mumbled an unconvincing "uh-huh" "I've pretty much told the whole truth, I've just hidden a tiny little piece like that."

I demonstrated with the tip of my index finger and thumb, putting the two together to show how small my little lie was.

"It doesn't matter how big it is, it's still a lie."

"Shut up," I grumbled, "I don't need you to tell me about the nature of my actions. "

"But you're the one who asked my opinion!"

"And you gave it because you wanted to."

"You're awful," she hissed.

"Don't feel special, you're not the first to say that to me," I retorted, just as bitterly.

We didn't speak for a few minutes until I heard footsteps coming from the back room.

"It's the manager…!" Kyouka murmured next to me.

I winced when I remembered the danger, and it wasn't much different with her. We exchanged astonished glances before acting.

"Pick up the bucket!" I lifted the yellow bucket over the counter, and she desperately grabbed it "I'll take out the garbage. Go hide it, quick! "

"All right! All right!"

I stumbled out the door like a hurricane about to destroy the convenience store. When I got to the back, I stopped to catch my breath, gasping.

I took out the garbage as fast as I could. However, the dumpster was on the other side of the sidewalk.

'Who was the idiot who put that there?' And then I remembered the health authorities, who had warned the manager about the risks of garbage accumulating near the establishment, so they had to move the bin away.

'Damn it…' I dragged the garbage bags to the other side of the sidewalk, letting my anger show on my face. It was then that I heard the rumble of an engine, very close by.

A thief? A kidnapper?

I quickly used my body strength to throw the garbage bag in the direction of the noise. Whether I hit it or not, it would buy me time.

"What the fuck is that now?"

Recognizing the bike, I made sure to check the face of the thug.

'Oh, no…'

"What is it now?" He asked. The plastic bag narrowly missed him.

"A... garbage bag?" I answered automatically, but I soon realized that he was asking me why I was "doing it" "I thought you were a thief."

"You didn't see me?"

"What? I had my back turned!"

"I thought you recognized the noise!"

"Do you think I have time to remember the noise of every motorcycle that passes me by?"

"It was a hunch." He shrugged.

"A pretty bad guess, if I may say so."

"Very inviting as always, Miss [Name]," he quipped, "what are you doing dragging those garbage bags around at this hour? Shouldn't you be at home?"

"I work here" I nodded to the convenience store just behind him "do you want me to do a little neighborhood fundraising 'to buy your Alzheimer's medicine?"

"Come here, are you always like this?" He asked indignantly.

I thought about it for a moment before shrugging.

"Sometimes. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to know where all your 'charisma' came from, because it's not possible that your acting is that good."

Replace "charisma" with "foolishness".

"Natural talent."

"I can tell…" He laughed disgustedly, it seems he was still angry about what happened earlier, I can't say it's not a good reason to feel angry.

"Look, the talk is amazing and it was a real surprise to see you, but now I really have to go," I said with a smile, passing Mitsuya, who was following my every move, alertly, "at last, arrivederci, Mitsuya-san."

I waved, leaving without looking back.

"We need to talk."

That phrase keeps haunting me, I don't know why I'm still surprised.

"No, we don't."

"Yes, we do." He emphasized the "yes".

"You walked away stomping your feet without giving me any explanation, [Name], that was ridiculous" Mitsuya stretched out over the bike, only to approach my slightly lowered form, to which I just watched with narrowed eyes "I need explanations for the things that happened today, you can't lie forever."

"Was that a… challenge?" I arched an eyebrow.

"[Name]… " He narrowed his eyes.

We were too close, perhaps afraid to step back and break the eye contact that was only intensifying as the seconds passed, I was feeling heated, for no particular reason, but the feeling was killing me. 'I can't give in, I can't give in…'

"Right" I shrugged, taking two steps back, to which he just blinked his eyes in curiosity "I'm just finishing cleaning up the store" I warned, squinting, trying to notice any sign of "empathy" in his rigid eyes. Nothing in sight "so wait here."

"Here?"

"Yes."

"Here?"

I took a look at where we were. We were practically arguing in a garbage dump.

"I hate to admit it, but you're right," I clicked my tongue, "wait for me by the back door. I'll be right back. "

I stopped him before he dared to object. I walked back to the comfort of the counter and the coolness of the air conditioning.

As soon as I got near the door, I spotted Kyouka and the manager arguing inside the staff room, sitting at a table. The programming on the mini TV was made inaudible by the harsh sound of their voices.

"There she is. Satisfied?" He pointed in my direction, frowning.

"Where were you, girl?"

He glared at me. I just rolled my eyes under the brim of the cap I was wearing.

"I was taking out the garbage," I explained dismissively.

"And what took you so long?"

"We can start by saying that it wasn't a clever idea to put the garbage can on the other side of the street!" I exclaimed, completely flustered, "and I found a huge rat rummaging through our garbage! It was disgusting!" I lied.

"And what the hell did you do?"

"I threw the garbage bag at it but it ended up escaping alive, unfortunately."

"Um… I see… " He nodded, even though he was suspicious.

"What? You don't believe me? You can go and see!" I pointed outside "She even dropped a bag of garbage on the floor."

"And when did I say I didn't believe you?"

"Your face says it all."

"Is it over? Can we go now?" The brunette at the table tapped her fingers impatiently.

The older man just sighed, knowing that continuing the discussion wouldn't get us anywhere, especially when everything had already been finished inside the establishment.

"Of course," He agreed, exhausted, "let's just close up first."

It was strangely quick. Seeing Kyouka hurry to leave was bizarre, since she was usually the one who delayed everyone at the end of the working day. And when we left, she didn't even say goodbye.

"Wow… " I exclaimed, ironically.

Then I remembered. I had to go to the back.

"I didn't think I'd be waiting," I said.

I stuffed my hands in my coat pockets, trying to keep warm. I leaned against the wall, watching Mitsuya stare at me uneasily. He hadn't parked his bike. I deduced he wasn't about to prolong the conversation.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

I'm well aware of what's coming next, but I'm going to risk the question anyway.

"Today, at school, you commented on something that could harm us. What was it?"

"It's a long story."

"We have time."

I looked away from the glare at disgustig i was about to direct at him.

"Right… " I replied dismissively. I walked to the edge of the sidewalk, finding a place to sit down. "To begin with, I don't care about gangs or delinquents, I'm just doing a job for the president. If I can't maintain the quality of the stories… Well, we're fucked."

"And where do I come into this?" He lowered his head to meet my eyes, perhaps because of the transparency of my words, he noticed that I was now telling the truth.

"I made a deal with President Yamazaki," I replied, but he continued to stare at me expectantly. Expectation, how disgusting. "He only restored your project because I made a promise to improve the quality of the newspaper, which had been declining for some time, and the delinquents were the best front to get his consent. Now, Yamazaki wants me as general "supervisor" of the delinquents. He won't get off my back in the meantime."

A shiver ran down my spine.

"Did he give you that title?"

"No. I just made it up."

I was describing my only shred of hope to the person I'd tried so hard to hide my plans from. Unbelievable.

"And what's going to happen if you don't get your subjects in order?" Mitsuya swallowed.

"What do you think? Your project will be shelved and I'll lose my job" I replied as if it were obvious "we're hanging on a thin line between unlikely success and guaranteed failure. Apart from that, i think we'll be fine."

I tilted my chin to offer Mitsuya a smile. He caught my sarcasm right away.

"This is the time when you ask me what we should do," I warned, waiting for the question.

"Right," he agreed, grimacing, "and what do you... Sorry, what do we intend to do then?"

"We have to form a 'middle alliance'" I replied immediately "or in a few weeks' time, you can kiss your project goodbye while I kiss my desk goodbye. "

I say dismissively.

"That doesn't seem to shake you up too much."

Did I pretend that badly?

"I'm not going to show you my insecurities. That would be a dose of instability, and I don't lose control. Ever." I say with conviction.

"I'm sorry if you're not 'sure of my loyalty'" He opened and closed quotation marks with his fingers.

"How outrageous… Understand that your loyalty is still uncertain. Friends can become future enemies and I don't like taking risks. And we're not even friends."

"I'm pretty sure our lives aren't a novel written by Jane Austen, [Name]."

"Thank heaven for that, I would never be your romantic partner."

"I'm not as unscrupulous as you think."

"I'll pretend I believe you." I shrugged.

"Maybe you're just reading too many English novels."

"I agree. But that's not the point."

"As you wish, Elizabeth Bennet," Mitsuya said humorously.

"I'm grateful, Mr. Darcy."

"How far do you want to extend that?"

"I have no idea. I just found the concept interesting."

He arched his eyebrow in puzzlement.

"Okay, but if possible, let's not continue with the metaphors, they're hard to follow," he asked.

"Okay."

"So, where do you want to start?" He stared at me.

I grabbed the strap of my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. A bit thoughtful.

"I want to start by introducing an article about a gang. It's a fair exchange, you give me a few pages and I'll make you some photos"

I smiled, this time genuinely confident.

"I feel like I won't be able to deny your request this time," he sighed, wiping his hand across his face before turning back to me.

"I'm afraid not." A smile bordering on innocence flashed across my face "But which gang are you in, anyway?"

I asked out of pure curiosity.

I stared at him in surprise, I hadn't expected to meet him on the way home. He was wearing the supposed gang uniform, and I was surprised at the decency of his technical team for having so much discipline within a group of delinquents. I, on the other hand, was wearing social clothes such as a dress shirt, tie and skirt with a pair of loafers and tights, with the same sports jacket I usually wore, Mitsuya arched his eyebrow as he stared at me from head to toe.

"Were you in a meeting?" He asked, stopping his motocycle at the curb.

"Not exactly," I replied indifferently, unable to understand the reason for his surprise, "they're clothes I wear every day."

Mitsuya raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"A bit eccentric."

"You think so? I consider it normal." I watched people giving us strange looks as we talked.

Our encounters are becoming successive and constant; when I'm distracted doing important things - like buying another prism lens, for example - and Mitsuya arrives on his motorcycle soon after, we start talking from the moment I try to hit him with something and he swerves at the right time.

"So you're really part of that 'Tokyo Manji'? That biker gang?"

"I didn't think you knew the names of the gangs."

"I've heard of it," I said, putting the bag back in my purse, "but it never even crossed my mind that you might be one of them. What a small world, huh?"

"I thought it would be easy to deduce, after all, I must have shown up with the some of them at school at some point" He commented "[Name], you said you needed to do some research, right?"

"That's right. But not yet the necessary material, nor test subjects."

I feel like I shouldn't have used the word "test subjects".

"Do you want to come with me? It might be useful."

I widened my eyes.

"Oh, and why all of a sudden?

"Have you forgotten about our middle alliance?" He laughed, "Would you like some Alzheimer's medication? I can give you some."

"Shut up," I snorted embarrassed, "all right, I'll take it."

I put on my best disinterested face.

"Hold on."

He threw me the helmet that had been around his neck until now, which landed in my hands.

"What's that for?"

"To avoid accidents, of course. I thought you had a faster mind, secretary." He scoffed.

"My mind is enviable, for your information"

"So you know what I mean, don't you?"

I soon understood what he was getting at.

"You don't want me to…"

"Come on, get on."

He pointed to the back of the motocycle.

"I refuse."

"Relax, the Impulse won't knock you over."

When I heard the bike's code name, my nervousness was instantly replaced by the urge to laugh.

"Wait, what is it?" I held back my laughter, "the name of the bike is Impulse?"

"It's actually Sweet Impulse."

"I see," involuntary laughter escaped, "well, I'm sorry to inform you, but I'll be politely declining to get on your lovely mount."

"Would you rather walk to the Musashi temple? I doubt you'll have a good time walking there." He commented with a smile, seeing my eyes drop in shock.

I stared at the bike for a few seconds. I couldn't help but be shocked, I'd never imagined it could be so far away.

"Give me a second," I informed him, before turning away and starting to make a phone call.

Mitsuya just stared at me talking into the phone with a serious expression. A few minutes later, I returned to the sidewalk.

"Right, we can go now," I said at last.

"Who was?"

"My father," I replied casually, as I climbed onto the back of the motorcycle with suspicion in my movements, holding the biker's shoulders tighter than I would have liked, "I always have to warn him beforehand."

"Do you warn your father every time you go off the beaten track? What a model girl" he laughed sarcastically, "and I recommend you hold on to my waist if you don't want to fall."

"You really push your luck," I snorted.

Night came as soon as Mitsuya stopped the bike, and it took me more than three minutes to calm down, like a frightened cat. Feeling the wind hitting the sides of my body made me shiver in my bones, especially when a dozen other motorcycles started passing us at high speed on the highway, I felt like I was going to die at any moment, as if the chill felt in my ribs were the fingers of death flanking my waist.

"Next time I'll walk…" I said at last, climbing down.

"That wasn't so bad," he commented as he kindly removed my helmet when he saw that I was fighting a battle with him.

"Are you kidding? It was terrible!"

"Well, apart from the fact that you stuck to my back to muffle your scream, it was a good first time." Mitsuya pointed out gently, embarrassing me.

That sentence cleared my mind in an unwelcome way. I kept holding onto his jacket as if my life depended on it, and to be honest, I think it did.

"Bastard, I'll never do that again!"

"Feel free to come along for come walking next time" he said amused "I'll enjoy watching you try"

"That was the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life," I said, "don't ever invite me to these radical things again."

"You're very dramatic."

"I'm a realist," I corrected, "and a bit sensitive."

"If you're a sensitive human being, then I must be an angel myself."

"Good observation, Sir, but don't think I'm going to agree with you because you made a good point."

"Coming from you, a compliment becomes something invigorating whether it's on purpose or not."

"I know that."

"I figured as much."

We noticed some other motorcycles approaching from afar. The headlights had a brightness that could make anyone go blind.

"What's that?" I asked, disturbed by the brightness.

"That, Miss [Name]-san, is the Tokyo Manji."

"What luminous trash."

#mitsuya takashi #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya tokyo revengers #toman x reader #mitsuya takashi x reader #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #mitsuya x you #tokyo revengers mitsuya #takashi mitsuya #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers x you

[sarenhale]

It's so strange being ok.

I've spent the last... six years? Being depressed, angry, frustrated, sad, disillusioned.

When you spend so much time just giving up internally everyday, fighting your mind every single time you wake up, you forget how being okay is like. I'm not even talking about being happy or ecstatic. Just being in balance. In control. I forgot how it felt like.

I remember how I felt like shit was always out of my hands, my life, my job, my mental health, my emotion, my path, my decisions. I remember feeling like a small boat in the middle of the ocean all the time, not knowing what the fuck to do. It's so strange to have shit working out and then figuring out you're okay.

Just breathing and looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing you're done. You're here and you've done it. You're living your life and you're content and things are working out and a future is appearing again at the horizon. It's crazy.

It's genuinely something I had given up for a long while. It's something I never even thought about or dreamt about anymore, and then boom, it happens suddenly in a couple of months, and you sit there like holy shit. Just drinking a beer in the breeze of the calmness of your own living room, the room lit by the tv screen, and you realize you're content. You're at peace, finally, and you're out of fight or flight mode. You smile more again, you laugh, you feel more like an idiot and shooting the shit with friends, and you make plans, you stick your neck out for new opportunities, new shit, a new life.

And suddenly you're living again. The world has began to move again, the movie is not paused anymore, everything is moving and its moving so fast but it's great. Because you forgot how it felt like to have stuff move and change in the direction you want to.

And you realize how much you want to see of the world. Of yourself, of your friends, of whatever the hell life can bring, and everything feels so fucking easy and normal and crazy at the same time.

It's nuts. I'm experiencing it and every week, almost, I stop down and think about it. I feel everything hit me all the once, the reality that I'm okay now, that I moved on. It's so strange that it happened so suddenly, like a boulder suddenly moved away from your path, just like that.

Sometimes I just think about everything and I feel so lucky and crazy and grateful. I cry a bit, not because I'm sad, more like out of astonishment and happiness than everything. It's a bit overwhelming at times, even though it's a good type of overwhelming, it's like all the hopes and projects and plans you haven't allowed yourself to feel for ages suddenly come back and hit you.

I'm still reeling from it, honestly. But I'm happy. And stuff is moving really fast and I couldn't be happier about it

[brandnewhuman]

Can I request the slashers with an s/o who are obsessed with cats? Like they have almost a million rescues with them or at home. All the clothing they wear is cat themed, everything is cat themed. Cats ヽ(=^･ω･^=)丿

SLASHERS WITH THEIR

S/O OBSESSED WITH CATS

CONTENT:

Michael Myers - Vincent Sinclair - Bo Sinclair - Jason Voorhees -

Tw: none? Maybe just canon violence, you never know if Michael ends up being more unhinged than usual

A/n: there's something so funny to me in forcing this menaces of men to put up with this type of things. Anyway, thanks for the request and I hope you enjoy it ^^ I basically picked the slashers with who you would be able to have many cats around without risking the victims hurting them

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

MICHAEL MYERS:

Bro almost stomped one of your cats when he broke into your house to kill you first time you met

In Michael's defence your cat was in the way

 your cat started making weird demon noises when Michael picked him up by the scruff 

Congratulations, you have adopted an unhinged stabby bastard to add to your collection of strays

Michael is surprisingly accepting of having cats around

That's until they scratch him. 

They will get thrown in the trash can and if you bring them inside again Michael could and will get offended 

What do you mean she didn't mean to? To him it seemed very much on purpose y/n 

You might find him sometimes laying on the couch stiff as a fucking tree  with your cats all over him. 

He's not even sleeping, he's just chilling and regretting his life decisions 

When he comes home late after doing his job he will take his time to pet every cat

Will spy you to see where you keep their treats 

So if you see your babies a little bit more chonky than usual is Michael's fault

He's basically a cat himself so after the initial shock of having around so many of them he will eventually get used to it

When he notice that you seemed to like cat themed things too he would bring anything he finds that he deems cat related 

What now, Michael has given you literally just a black rock? Y/N, silly little thing, he's Michael Myers. He doesn't have to explain anything, if you don't get that it looks like your black cat which happens to be Michael's favourite then that's a you problem

Would spend hours having staring contests with your cats. 

You will find him, not a single thought behind his or your cat's eyes, staring at each other 

If it's rz mikey he will make you a mask inspired by your cats. 

VINCENT SINCLAIR:

It all started when you one day came back covering something with your jacket that was suspiciously breathing 

He tried, he really tried to say no. But you gave him that puppy dog eyes stare and promised that it won't bother anyone and you would've take care of everything 

He hasn't known peace since 

All it took was one (1) single time of him saying yes for you it to become a menace with the whole stray cats thing

He had to give up in the end so now he's just helping you out with your little friends 

You kept your promise but he didn't want you to overworked yourself - and because honestly he's starting to love them too but you didn't hear it from- 

Now…I know what you all want to know

YES, JONESY GETS ALONG WITH THEM CAUSE SHE'S THE BEST GIRL EVER. HE'S LIKE A ADOPTIVE MAMA TO THEM AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND

Vinny loves to have one of the kittens sleeping on his lap while he's working but would have to stop doing it because he gets distracted by petting and playing with them

The house of wax will suddenly be filled with cat themed things and even cat wax figures (none of them are your cat's dw. Vinny would never do that to you)

He knows and you know that Bo doesn't like the cats and the cats don't like Bo

So you both try your best to keep both parties away from each other. 

Ngl Vinny would shamelessly let the cats scratch the shit out of Bo when he starts acting like an asshole

What makes Vinny appreciate the cats even more is that they keep you company when he has to work all day.

At least he knows you're not alone

He has done countless drawings of you with your cats

Vincent is a simple man, if it makes his s/o happy then he doesn't have a problem with it. 

Besides, all of your cats really like Vincent. Cats are really sensitive to people's energies and vibes and Vincent has something that is simply irresistible to your kitties 

BO SINCLAIR:

Bo absolutely despises them. 

As soon as you bring one cat home he's already throwing it out

He's going to mercilessly make fun of how obsessed you're with cats 

Tho everytime he goes to run some errands he brings something that has a cat on it for you

One of your favourite gifts that Bo has brought you is a cat shaped mug. You always and only use that mug for everything 

Everytime he sees you drinking from it he just smirks proud of himself 

Type of person who argues with you about how cats sucks just out of spite 

That's until you bring home a specific cat 

It's black but has white paws and he's missing one eye

It was love at first sight 

That cat tolerated you at most but with Bo? That little fucker just acts like an angel

Bo's not gonna let you forget it not now not ever

Much like with jonesy, he started with the whole "I ain't gonna care for that little shit" just for you to find him on the couch cuddling with the cat

He's the kitty's dad now and you can't do anything about it

He'll pretend he doesn't know what you're talking about when reminding him of how he used to hate cats

Mh? Hating cats? Couldn't be him y/n. He's a father now, what you're talking about

It's basically the "I hate everyone but you" trope just with a cat that has anger issues as big as bo's 

JASON VOORHEES:

Jason loves animals, I'm pretty sure we're all aware of that

Now if we're talking about normal Jason then there's no problem

Zombie Jason on the other side… at these point your cats are straight up bullying him

Animals tend to avoid Jason now that he's not alive 

Every single one of your cats is weirded out by jason. Every Time he's near them it's like peace has never been an option in their life 

Please try to cheer him up cause he's getting his feeling obliterated by a bunch of merciless mini demons

Even if your cats are a fucking menace in this man's life he's going to care about them as much as you do

He treats them like they're the most precious thing in the world just because they're important to you

He's building them all little beds and things where they can play safely

He's going to be careful none of them gets out of the cabin and if they do he's immediately bringing them back inside looking at them with concern and silently scolding them

He makes you wooden cat themed things too 

Like he has made mini wood figures of all your cats 

The only time the cats are comfortable around Jason is when he sits still on the couch or bed and just let them approach him.

He doesn't even dares to look at the little thing as it curls on himself on Jason lap to sleep

That's it, he's never going to get up again. Oh well, it's not like he has anything to do right?

Both normal Jason and zombie Jason would help you rescue stray cats. 

He's overall so happy of having them around but they are literally the meanest things he has ever seen

#slashers #slasher community #slasher fandom #horror movies #slasher fanfiction #slasher x reader #michael myers #halloween #rz michael myers #bo sinclair #og michael myers #peepaw michael myers #peepaw myers #michael myers x reader #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #jason voorhees #jason voorhees x reader #slasher headcanons #friday the 13th #house of wax

[erasawordsmithofsorts]

this is a really long post and you dont have to read it, its more of a word vomit towards the end but its really detailing my experiences with 5sos c: (its kind of sad but it means a lot to me that i finally put this into words)

i love 5sos. like a lot more than i could put into words. i have such a long and extensive history with this band that its just so much, like.

ive been a fan of 5sos since july 15th, 2014. i was 5/6 years old sitting on the front porch of my grandma's house with this girl i was friends with. she showed me some of their songs and i was in love. i didnt stop listening to them for years, they were my everything. idols, best friends, family, everything. and the only reason i stopped listening to them ever is because of some really heavy traumatic events that happened to me when i was 8-10 years old.

fast forward a few years, i start dating this guy. this guy really liked 5sos, he got me back into 5sos. my brain was so traumatized, it blocked out most of my memories with this band, with the fans of this band, etc. and him getting me to listen to their entire discography? yeah that brought them flooding back.

yet i still stayed, with him and the band again. this guy became really toxic. we argued every night, he blatantly ignored my needs, he got mad at me for getting more 5sos streams than him, he made fun of me for only listening to their old stuff. he acted like i hadnt told him, "hey, some really fucked up things happened to me in 2014-2016 and i forgot pretty much everything from those years so i kind of obsess over them"

but me and this guy were ldr, my mom took my phone, i texted him through a friends' phone. he starts cheating on me. i come back, my mom is having heart surgery, and he tells me i have to break up with him. so i do.

i break up with him, i go through the shit, i get pissed off, i get upset, i cry. i cry a LOT. and for a bit i didnt listen to 5sos. and then i get back into 5sos, because im not gonna change who i am at my very core because some idiot guy who was 'there first' made it about him. i'll make it about me again, i will obsess over it, i will go back to being six years old crying on the front porch with my best friend. i will go back to being a kid who didnt know why people didnt like her.

and i did. im back there, im who six year old me dreamed of being. sure, i have my days where the only thing i can do is cry and try not to hurl myself down a flight of stairs, but im still here arent i? ive made it to the age i always dreamed about being, havent i? im still absolutely in love with the same exact bands, the same exact places, the same exact aesthetics.

5sos is why im me, like that is such a beautiful and poetic thing to me. im still here because of a band, im still here because some guys that at the time were across the world gave me some motivation to keep going? of course im gonna love them. of course im gonna advertise the shit out of them. of course im gonna know every detail i possibly can about them.

like, i mean yeah, i took a little break. but i was forced to by my own brain. and even then, what helped me start healing form that trauma? 5sos. what helped me start healing from that breakup? 5sos.

tw for s/h + suicidal stuff under the cut! its nothing bad bad, just mentions attempts and stuff but its talking about getting better :3 tl;dr in bottom of the cut!

its so weird to say that "this guy who doesnt even know i exist, saved my life" but its true sometimes. like i was in such a bad place when i was younger that i couldnt function. yearly, i was being checked into psych wards. they never helped. i tried therapy, i tried medication. nothing worked.

and then 5sos came back into my life and i finally felt whole again. i finally felt like i was me again. i had been self harming since i was in the third grade, and once you cope like that for so long, its really hard to stop.

but i finally made the decision to get clean, i finally said "enough is enough, i dont want to be like this anymore. i wanna live and be healthy, i wanna live and be happy, i wanna wear shorts, i wanna wear skirts, i wanna wear short sleeves and tanks, i want to wear dresses without sleeves that show my thighs a little. and would ashton or luke or michael or calum really want me to do this to myself? no, no they wouldnt, get your shit together era." and so i did? i got it together, i made my life work. i started looking for the good again, i started behaving like a little kid that knew no bounds again, i started acting my age. i started loving me again. and thats powerful? thats metal as fuck.

the app that i use to track my clean streak has a section for "reasons to stay clean" i have pictures of my friends, my animals, and most importantly, the guys that finally inspired me to pick myself up off the floor and put myself back together.

because i did, i really had to scrounge up the broken pieces. i really had to dig deep and try and piece them back together. and it took work, and im still working on it. and even though ive been clean from s/h for three months, the urges are still there and every time theres just that little voice in my head that takes on ashton's that goes "hey dont, its not the right way." and every time i feel like the world is over, like i dont have anything else, it's always just a reminder.

there will be something else, no matter what theres gonna be something else. no matter what, the suns gonna rise again. no matter what, something good will come of all your pain, all your struggles, all your heartbreak, all the tears. the sleepless nights, the trauma, the guilt, the anger, the fear, the sadness, all of it. it means youre human, it means youre alive. it means good things are gonna happen, you just gotta wait for it. you gotta pick yourself up and keep going. keep fighting, keep running, keep walking. hell if you have to, keep crawling. keep crawling while youre crying. dont look back, youre not going that way. think of how far your faves have come, think of how your younger self wants to know what theyre gonna grow up to be. think.

its not over, it will never be over. pain is human, youre human. youre experiencing life as it was meant to be experienced, its okay to have off days.

tl;dr 5sos + me have been together since i was six and ashton irwin has quite literally kept me alive and from destroying myself mentally and physically for nearly ten years. cool beans bro

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sosfam #luke 5sos #ashton 5sos #calum 5sos #michael 5sos #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #calum hood #michael clifford #word vomit #stream of consciousness #late night thoughts #era talks about 5sos saving her life for the second time #era's blog #era posting #-era

[gardenerian]

Idk if you’ve said something about this already but what do you think about the Gallavich fight in S10E08? How do you feel about Ian’s broken leg?

oh wheeew, you know, i don't know if i have talked about this much? but boy howdy, do i have plenty of thoughts.

so like. okay. i get it? i get it. it's so fucking painful for both of them. ian has been trying to protect mickey from day one - the job for his parole in s2, trying to stop frank from getting popped, keeping him on the straight and narrow (mostly) in s11. so getting married to keep him out of jail? easy.

meanwhile, mickey is having the same conversation. so while the concept is not new to him, he's surprised ian would actually suggest it. to him, he it's a crappy reason to get married. it's not romantic, it's not grand and beautiful like they deserve. but in trying to keep each other safe, it's one of the more romantic things i've ever heard. still, he wants ian to propose to him, not to this problem. and that is so valid!!! after everything they have been through, this isn't how he saw their married life starting - if he ever really let himself go there at all.

i do think ian believes it to his core when he says that this is not the only reason they'd be getting married - just like i think he believes it when he gets in the car to go to mexico. he loves mickey, he wants to be with mickey. but in this case, the drive to do it now and like this is absolutely to protect him. and the decision really isn't that hard, like he says.

but when that factor of keeping mickey out of prison is taken out of the equation, i think ian gets a little whiplash? like oh holy shit we almost just did that??? over the course of a day??? so while mickey is up and ready to go, having gone all in - as he often does - ian is suddenly faced with the reality that the only thing mickey is getting out of this is HIM. and it freaks him the fuck out.

ian picks up the pen and i think every unresolved insecurity hits him all at once. and honestly? even if he handled it poorly, and i do believe he did, taking a moment to cool down and check in was probably a good idea. now that they don't have to rush it, is this how they want to do it? is this really what mickey wants? can ian even give it to him? they deserve the time to answer these questions, ya know? and whereas mickey might be willing to figure it out as they go, we know ian doesn't quite trust that he can do that. this changes a bit, but in the moment i think he just couldn't see past it.

so what drives me insane about this fight is that he does try to talk, even if he says a million wrong things in a row. but even if ian wants to talk, mickey is well within his rights not to hear him. he's well within his rights to get out of this immediate situation that is hurting him. ian IS hurting him, and it's important to acknowledge that.

BUT. i do not like the way people respond to ian saying "i just wanna know how you feel" because. agh. YES mickey has shown his love time and again, and ian has felt it time and again.... but when it comes to things like this, sometimes you just need to hear it. and then hear it again. with minds like ours, it can be hard to just trust our own experience or understanding, ESPECIALLY in emotionally charged moments when things already feel warped and scary. he needed time to sort through it all. once he was in, HE WAS IN. we know this!

so for ian to stand there like that, asking for what he needs... and wanting to talk about it..... only to be hit in the fucking face? gross. i hate it. it's fucking terrible. and again, mickey is WELL within his rights to leave ian standing there. he's well within his rights to say FUCK YOU and rage and stomp and let ian know exactly how he feels. i honestly think ian kinda deserved that. mickey doesn't owe him emotional clarity or work in that moment. mickey feels like he's only worth marrying because he can't keep himself out of trouble, and that's gotta be a shitty fucking feeling after everything. he feels like ian led him on, and he's valid to feel that way, even if i think even ian couldn't see the path he was taking. but really. ian did let him down.

but like. he didn't have to hit him. i don't know how you look at the face of someone you were just willing to MARRY and then do that? i know they needed to write cam's broken leg into the storyline, but honestly fuck that. it would have been just as easy for ian to break his leg falling while trying to run after mickey. and then? mickey easily could have been like "well here's your phone call 911 SEE YA" or even "hey i called 911 okay SEE YA" or perhaps "okay i brought you to the ER in this cab now SEE YA"

so.... like i said, i get it. the conflict is true to character. it's HORRIBLE to see, but it does make sense. i would personally restructure the entire 10th season to give this storyline more breathing space. but yeah. this where i lean heavily on fix-it fics lol 😇

#as it turns out..... had a lot to say #whoops #chime in with thoughts #mel answers #gallavich meta