#none of them get to be Ken they’re all Barbie

[picapicamagpie]

This was not nearly as funny as it was in my head

#none of them get to be Ken they’re all Barbie #I saw a new meme template and got excited but actually this one didn’t work #but I made it so please take it away from me #sing #sing 2 #sing 2016 #sing 2021 #sing movie #sing meme #Barbie #barbie 2023 #barbie meme #jimmy crystal #buster moon #sing eddie #sing jerry #sing johnny #sing meena #clay calloway #sing mike

[drewsprettygirl]

barbie girl ｡˚ ⋆꒰ა♡໒꒱⋆ ˚｡ 🎀🍉

mike wheeler x doll collector! fem reader

smut. this is fucking nasty so if u guys dont like mike wheeler smut just s c r o l l ♡♪

age pairing : 17-18

warnings : none

the exchange of looks and stares between you and a classmate of yours in chemistry bubbled across the hallway. you had taken an interest towards this boy, “wheeler” as you called him. his glare towards you always sent chills to your spine. or even to your throbbing— we aren’t there yet.

it wasn’t a joke that he was hot. he was really hot for a nerd. his fingers always got your panties in a bunch. his nose— oh god don’t even get started with his nose. his nose is perfect and to think of it, his curls were cute.

you guys were partnered up for a project and he had to come to your house to finish, and that’s how he ended up in your room, admiring your collection.

mike considered himself a gentleman, a respectable boy, but boy did he reconsider those words as soon as he saw what you were wearing. half of the time he was over, he was either talking to you or staring at your hardened nipples under your shirt due to the cold temperature of your ac.

“you collect barbies?”

“yeah.”

“don’t you think they’re kind of uh.. creepy? imagine sleeping and first thing you see when you wake up is a doll.”

“i don’t think so. they’re quite pretty to me, to be honest”

“i don’t really have a collection. i play dungeons and dragons.”

his fingers lingered on your barbie doll that you were quite fond of. your malibu barbie. a wave of confidence washed over you.

you had remembered the lingerie set you bought a couple of months ago on impulse. it wasn’t like you were actually planning to fuck someone. you weren’t a virgin. you had taken a few polaroids of yourself wearing the dainty pink lace panties and the bra that was almost spilling your huge breasts.

“i’ve got a barbie you can play with.”

mike felt his cheeks go red. what was she implying? immediately, dirty thoughts went onto his pretty head. he had always thought that y/n l/n was hot, first of all, she was a cheerleader. she was pretty. he just chose to ignore those lingering feelings he had because he didn’t want a relationship.

“is this gonna be a one time thing?” he asked. they were both slowly closing the gap between them, feeling their hot breaths on each other. “it’s up to you, mike.” slowly sliding down her own straps of her pink gingham tank top.

“i don’t want it to be a one time thing.”

“so do i.”

those words made him push over the edge, as you pushed him to your bed and straddled him on top, grazing your fingers on the evident bulge in his jeans. he pulled you to his face and you guys started to make out.

you unbutton his shirt while his hands were fondling your thighs, later you came to unzip his jeans and later his underwear, leaving him completely unclothed. he went to pull your tank top until you stopped him.

“ah ah ah. you don’t get to touch me.”

“come on y/n. please let me touch you—“

“you have to work for it, baby”

feeling defeat, you had tied mike onto your bed posts. your bed didn’t look any different to your barbies’ clothes. it was all styled in pink and lace.

you teasingly take your shorts off. leaving you in your sheer pink panties that made mike drool at the sight of your pussy. sitting beside him, you slowly pull your panties showing him your glistening core.

“i wanna touch you so bad, barbie girl.”

“good things come to those who wait, ken.”

you unclipped your bra revealing your tits. mike watched your breasts move with a slack jaw, the tip of his dick having a shade of an angry red. of course, you didn’t fail to see that so you did him a favor.

“you’re so big mike” “how will you fit in me?” you showered him with praises that didn’t fail to make him moan as your fingers were wrapped around his cock with your spit coated in it.

you crawl on top of him, only for his mouth to be met with your cunt. immediately he latched his mouth onto your pussy, and licked a stripe up, leaving you shuddering with his touch. kitten licks turned into big licks. big licks turned into sucking. the sucking turned into him plunging his tongue in and out your throbbing core, making you catch your high and throw your head back in pleasure.

mike grabbed onto your hips to support you, further, his hands started to dig onto your supple skin. “m-mike— i’m close- oh god” the overstimulation made you feel weak. you eventually started grinding on his face. it had only been a few minutes yet this boy had made you come more than 2 times. you felt yourself release, him lapping up your juices with his tongue.

you pulled off his mouth and collapsed on the other side of the bed. “you alright?” he asked. he sat up and looked at you, noticing your chest was heaving up and down.

“i have an idea.”

“well, we can make that idea happen if you untie me.”

“oh i will.”

you had grabbed your lipstick shaped vibrator from the drawer of your nightstand, mike parting his lips in shock of all the toys you have hidden in your drawer. you quickly untied his wrists from the posts of your bed, him immediately getting on top of you and starting to kiss you.

“what are we gonna do with that little toy of yours?”

“use it on me, please.”

“mmh, what if i don’t wanna?”

“i don’t take no for an answer pretty boy.”

next thing you know, you were sprawled in your bed. legs parted wide and mike dragging the vibrator across your pussy. “o-oh! oh my god- fuck!” you said gripping the sheets. he had increased the speed of the toy, making you buck your hips unconsciously. surprisingly you squirt. (bye wtf im crying how does squirting even work)

“oh god, you’re a squirter-“ “shut up!”

“i wanna fuck you even more now”

“then do it mike”

he had lined his cock up your pussy and started to ease himself in slowly. he starts to pound in your pussy in a controllable speed, then it goes faster. faster until you feel like your back was going to break after all that arching. you could even see the tip of his cock visibly inside your womb.

“shit— you feel so good barbie.”

“faster- faster- please baby”

loud moans were heard across the room. you were thankful that your parents were away this week for a vacation in italy. if your parents were home, god you would’ve been grounded for half the year.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“can i um— ask you something? its- its more of a favor but like—“

“what is it?”

“could you uh— ride me.”

you looked at him with a surprised look painted on your face. you didn’t expect him to ask you for a favor like that, as if you weren’t the one who started this fuck session with him. his cheeks were red out of embarrassment, you smiled as soon as you saw his face and agreed with his “favor”.

you flip each other’s positions, leaving him under you. you sink onto his dick, firstly, moving your hips back and forth, ending up with you vigorously bouncing on him.

his moans were loud. he was whining like a bitch, showering you with praises like “y/n you’re so good..” “so fucking beautiful” “you feel so great oh god—“ he felt himself slowly reaching his high. he didn’t have a condom on. “y-y/n i’m about to cum.” he spoke so softly.

“i didn’t put a condom on”

“it’s okay, you can do it inside.”

those words pushed him over the edge, releasing inside of you. as soon as you felt his cum inside you, the knots inside were erupted.

you collapsed on to the other side of the bed looking at him. his eyes shut and his lips parted, chest heaving.

“that was nice” you said. just so that the silence wasn’t so awkward.

“yeah. you know, i’ve always liked you.”

“you did?”

“yeah.” he said. kissing your lips softly. it wasn’t like anything you had done just a few seconds ago. it was a sweet kiss. the ones you share with pure love in it.

you guys were totally fucked up the next day tho, you had forgotten about the reason why he was even over at your house.

#mike wheeler #mike wheeler smut #mike wheeler lemon #mike wheeler fluff #mike wheeler stranger things #stranger things imagines #mike wheeler x reader #mike wheeler x reader smut #mike wheeler imagines #mike wheeler blurbs #finn wolfhard x reader #finn wolfhard smut

[yocioon]

𝓑𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 ┊ yang jungwon x reader !

╰ cw : sfw. gn!reader. fluff. tooth rotting cuteness. slightly suggestive. mentions of body parts (not described).

⠀ᥫ✦.⠀⠀NOTE. first post (i hope). erm it took me a while to finally post smthn but here y’all go. hope u enjoy el em ef ay oh !

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀who’s been your sweetheart since the beginning of junior high. he was the first boy you talked to in your homeroom, let alone the only one you could tolerate out of all of them.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀all the way from back in secondary, up til now, he’d bring you your favorite snack. and, it wasn’t like you ever told him it was your favorite. he simply just could never take his eyes off you and always saw you eating the same three, so he made a mental note for it.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀that knew what he wanted and was dead set on getting it. from the moment he laid his eyes upon you, a heart-racing, stomach-curling sentiment settled within him. he knew absolutely nothing about you, yet could see a future with only you.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀with most guys, they make it their mission to go all out just to snag the girl of their dreams, and then once they finally have her they stop putting in much effort. sometimes none at all. however, jungwon on the other hand; once you officially agreed to be his he only got worse with his princess treatment.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀is like the ken to your barbie. he can sense when you’re feeling a negative emotion even if you’re not with each other (which is rare) and he will text you asking what’s wrong until he fixes the problem.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀sad? he’ll drop everything to rush to you and have a horror movie marathon. angry? he’ll help you express your anger and calmly dilute the situation at hand. hungry? he already bought the entire store to soothe your craving. nervous? he’ll hold your hand until it settles down.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀again, unlike other guys, jungwon is confident in your love for him so he doesn’t bat an eye when you say you’re going to hang out with your guy friends, or just friends in general. and you do likewise. even though he doesn’t have many girl friends, your relationship is beyond healthy for you to trust him.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀he’s the type to whisper “more please, baby” in a pouty tone when you break the kiss. it’s subtle. it’s sweet. it drives you absolutely mad. especially with those damn boba tea eyes he has. it make you just wanna shower him in kisses until the end of time.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀usually guys like to rest their hand on their girlfriends ass or waist whenever they’re out walking together, but jungwon has this thing where he likes curling his finger through the belt loop on your jeans with his arm wrapped around you lower back. it’s peculiar but you love it.

BOYFRIEND!JUNGWON⠀𑄽𑄺ྀ⠀loves going to sleep not only just cuddling, but having his face buried in your chest. he just likes being near you. but also loves hearing the sound of your heartbeat as it leads him into a peaceful sleep.

𐙚 ⠀ ˖⠀⠀ ۫ 𝓷𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 : hope you enjoyed lols. lmk if you want more or a different member 👐(jazz hands)

© 𝐘𝓞𝐂𝐈𝓞𝓞𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑⠀♱⠀mature discretion advised. all rights reserved. do not plagiarize or steal works.

#✧ ⋆ ˚｡⋆⠀𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸ℯ𝓇ℯ𝓁𝓎 : 𝐲𝒐𝐜𝒊𝒆𝐥⠀❜ #jungwon #kpop imagines #enhypen #enhypen x reader #yang jungwon #kpop scenarios #enhypen jungwon #enha #kpop #kpop fanfic #female reader #fluff #headcanons

[monaisdark]

KEN x READER

➵ cws; f!reader, noncon, misogyny, talk of virginities, unrequited feelings, slight thoughts of death at very end, reader is a doll, bad ken :( ➵ a/n; ken is definitely ooc but idc i need him carnally. wrote this so fast after seeing the movie (amazing btw) spoilers be warned!!! p.s inbox is open ^^

Barbie's plan is in motion, and it seems like everything is going perfectly. Dolls are getting un-brainwashed left and right, including you. The moment you snap out of your trance and look down to see the incredibly small pink skirt and lace top dawning on your body, you can’t ever believe you agreed to wear that when Beach Ken gave it to you from Stereotypical Barbie’s wardrobe.

Ken. The one who started this mess. The one had you serving brewski beers and listening to long explanations on stuff you pretended to care about. A certain emotion pooled in your would-be stomach.

The Ken you used to watch pine after Barbie so deeply, the one that you always tried to console when Barbie rejected his advances. Now he’s taken over her house; well, Barbieland in general. How could he?

As Stereotypical Barbie hugs and welcomes you back as you leave the van, a thought pipes in your head. Maybe he’s doing this because Barbie doesn’t want him. She was so headstrong, front and center in every party she hosted, her smile iconic in every way imaginable. And Ken… was always on the side. Whenever he danced with you at her parties, his eyes were glued to her.

It hits you, he thinks this will work. That maybe she’ll turn around and jump into his arms once she notices what a big, strong, man he is. It won’t work and you know. But, he doesn’t. 

A Barbie fills you in on what they’re doing, and how they want you to distract Beach Ken as long as possible while they round up more Barbies to un-brainwash them. Telling you how it’s perfect since he had you around a lot and he’ll be none the wiser to realize everything that’s happening.

♡♡♡

“Hi, Ken!” You exclaimed as he let you into his dojo mojo casa house. “Hi, (Y/N)!” A smile framed his face once he saw you. The artificial-looking moon hovered in the sky as a quiet hum surrounded you in the empty neighborhood.

“I was looking for you, how come you aren’t with everyone at the bonfire on the beach?” His face seemed to drop but he didn’t let go of his macho persona. “Wasn’t feelin’ it. Rather…” He thought for a second, “Watch horses. Y’know. Man things.”

You nodded, “Oh, yeah! Love all these horses you have around.” It clicked that he was avoiding things, avoiding Barbie. He wanted so desperately for her to come to his door. For her to come to him. Instead, it was you who knocked and stood in her clothes. 

He huffed thanks and sat on the couch, you following beside him as he stared at a white horse gallop loop on the screen in front of both of you. It was obvious he was still bothered by his situation. A pang of sympathy left at the tip of your tongue, “Are you okay?”

This seemed to stir something in Ken, the air felt thick. “What am I doing wrong?” His voice was low. So quiet that you were almost sure it was like he didn’t want you to hear him.

But you did and you felt… bad for him. You grabbed his hands that laid on his lap with one of yours, “Ken, you can’t make something that won’t happen, happen.”

He brought his eyes from the TV to now stare at you. His blue eyes held something brooding behind them, but it didn’t deter you from continuing. “Some Barbies don’t have a Ken. Not everyone is made to follow a set of expectations, like how there’s one Alan… or me.” You trail off to include yourself, hoping he sees how you understand him.

“What I’m saying is, it’s okay that Barbie doesn’t want to be with you. I’m sure there’s more for you out here. Someone for you.” You tighten the soft grip you have on his hands to show comfort. 

His face is almost unreadable, an uncomfortable silence echoes in the living room as you wonder if you messed up in trying to help. His hands now grasped yours, although a lot tighter than you’d liked. Ken chuckled, but it carried a sense of something you couldn't quite place.

“I’m an idiot!” His voice finally booms to break the silence in the house, “You’re right. You’re right. I don’t need her.” You would’ve been more optimistic in helping with his realization of independency but the grip he had on your hand was starting to hurt.

“I’ve spent so long trying to make her notice me, but why would I need her when I have you?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to stand but he immediately brought you back down on the couch.

“No, no. That's not what I meant, listen to me–” He inched closer to you, using his strength to pin you down on the large couch. “No, you’re supposed to listen to me.” Betrayal, sadness, fear. So many emotions you weren’t used to swirled inside of you. 

“You’re perfect, y’know? I’ve been thinking about this, us. I wasn’t sure but the way you’ve been by my side all this time, so ready to make me feel better.” He speaks as one of his hands leaves your wrists to dough at your breasts through your lace top.

“So happy to follow me around with bewski beers and to wear the cute little outfits I picked out for you. Dare I say, you look better than Barbie in them.” A dark laugh left his lips, the contrast making your stomach turn as he ignored your small pleas for him to let you go. “Now I see so clearly. We should’ve been together all this time! Ken and (Y/N). I like the sound of that more.” 

You weren’t sure why your chest seemed to pound, or your mouth felt dry, or why tears pricked in your eyes. This wasn’t meant to happen. “What– what are you doing?” You felt almost twice as small as you normally were, wishing your body would shrink and wiggle out of his grasp.

His hand trailed from your chest to under your skirt, between your legs. A gasp left you when he rubbed the foreign part of you covered by a thin underwear.

“The books I’ve read said this,” His hand gave you an oddly warm sensation down there, “It’s important for us to be together. To make you mine.” Suddenly he spread your legs apart to peel down your underwear.

You’re terrified to move, not even noticing that there wasn’t a grip on your wrists anymore. His demeanor alone was enough to keep you down. 

You knew what you had down there, a vagina, and you knew Ken had a penis. Though everyone in Barbieland had one or the other, nobody acknowledged it. It wasn’t something that was shunned per se, but it was like how some dolls had breasts and other’s didn’t. The peak of anything suggestive was making out, and even that disinterested you.

Now, whatever Ken is doing, is making you feel as if you're about to melt. His fingers circle around your entrance and you don’t even get enough time to get used to that feeling before he pulls away and starts lowering down his joggers to free his aching cock. His stupid faux mink coat already having been long discarded right next to your underwear. 

His breathing is heavy, “That should be good, right? You’re ready now? For the sex?” Ken stares at your flushed state with lidded eyes, “I can’t wait anymore. Don’t worry, it should feel amazing!”

You have no idea what he’s talking about. He’s kissing you now, loud moans leave his lips as he sinks into you. Pain. It hurts so bad. Whatever he said about being ready, you definitely weren’t.

The stretching tears you apart and you’re unsure if the burn will ever go away. Ken’s body lays on top of you, a blubbering mess. “Ah, ah, this– this is great, so good.” 

So many feelings overwhelm you in a way that it makes you want just to scream. Hate. Hate is the strongest one. You guys used to be good friends. Everything used to be right. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. You can only repeat that in your head once he starts to thrust into you. 

“Y-you’re mine, aren’t you? Ah– I, I took your virginity. That means, agh– that means you have to stay with me.” His voice mixes in with the sound of his skin slapping into yours, he says something about patriarchy and virginities. He’s claimed you, as the book says. 

You wonder how long this is going to last, you’re pretty sure he’s feeling amazing, but all you feel is an ache. The pain travels up and down your body as all you can do is whimper weak cries. “(Y/N), ah-- I love you.” Ken’s thrusting faster, trailing kisses down your jawline. “Say it back, (Y/N).” 

No, you can’t and you won’t. Ken keeps moaning and saying he loves you over and over again. Each time it’s like he expects you to respond with the same thing back, you don’t. It doesn’t stop him though, his movements become more and more messy. You think he’s getting tired when a harsh snap of his hips with an especially loud moan takes your breath away. A new feeling. Full. 

Again, you didn’t know what just happened. A confused sob is finally let out once you catch your breath, “Ken, what did you do?” You hope he understands you through your choked breaths.

He ignores you, taking sight at the mess he just made. White cum drips out of you, a beautiful scene. “Oh, (Y/N). I wish you can see how perfect you look right now.” His hug around your body is suffocating, "I'm so excited for us to do so many new things tonight."

The new thought of dying creeps into your mind. 

#barbie 2023 #ken x reader #ken barbie #ryan gosling ken #cw. noncon #cw. misogyny #fem reader #dark blog #dark fanfiction #sorry for the hiatus lol

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ Skateboarding w/ Team Stan [Headcanons] ✧.*

✧.* tags: skateboarding idk man, comedy, college au

✧.* Charactions: stan marsh, kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, butters stotch

a/n: I was writing a different set of headcanons and started thinking about this and it got so long that I decided to just make it another post.

masterlist

Stan

Most skater aesthetic out of them all

even though he doesn't actually know anything

He bought the board because the like the IDEA of being someone who skates

But he’s too scared of falling down to actually do it

Much better at roller blading

but he'll NEVER admit it

mainly because people (cartman) would call him Ken because of the Barbie movie coming out

"Okay but why the fuck do you know that Ken uses roller blades in the Barbie movie?"

"Well actually that's none of your fucking business"

"Yeah okay dickwipe."

"THATS RICH COMING FROM A GAY ASS"

"It's literally pride month bro"

Kenny

Kenny on the other hand is the epitome of “I could do it this morning”

Makes you all sit around for 30 minutes while he tries to do an ollie

“Dude it’s okay if you can’t-”

“NO MAN I CAN! KAREN SAW IT!”

Like okay bro you can do an ollie

Gaming sessions of Tony Hawk Pro Skater where he does a move and says "yeah I could do that"

Gets the most hurt

mainly because he doesn't care

worst cast- and i mean WORST CASE- he dies and he's back the next day

at least now he knows that he can't do a rail grind off the golden gate bridge

Butters

Stan and Kenny try to teach Butters how to skate

turns out he doesn't really need their help

Butters ends up being 100x better than them INSTANTLY

Its the hawaiian blood

paddle boarding translates very well to skateboarding

“Woah! It’s so much easier when there aren’t waves coming at you!”

“I both hate you and idolize you right now”

“Stan close your mouth before a mosquito flies in”

You ask Butters to teach you and Kenny is AGHAST

Granted Butters is a shit teacher 

“Just picture the Hawaiian islands holding your hands to keep you steady.”

“What the fuck did they do to you there.”

“Well for one, we got absolutely plastered so they’re tripping balls 24/7”

Kyle

Kyle skates pretty fine

He and Ike were HUGE zeke and luther watchers fs

It was the only show they could agree on so sheila and gerald let them watch it 

He always wears elbow and knee pads though

The others (cartman) give him shit for it

But he’s the only one going home without any bleeding appendages so who’s laughing now

The only one that can actually do an ollie

Doesn’t brag about it but once everyone else goes home he’ll show you some pretty sick tricks

"So you're like the red head from the gay anime."

"No."

"Now we've just got to find a blue haired canadian- omg wait isn't your brother from Canada-"

"No."

"Planning the road trip right now. If you take your brother's passport I bet you can pass it off as yours."

"I regret telling you anything."

#why do i always think headcanons has 2 n??? #anyways i don't skateboard but that's not the point here #corporatefrog #south park #south park x reader #south park headcanons #stan marsh #butters stotch #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick

[wonik1ss]

౨ৎ mc of love ! — taesan han

pairing — idol!taesan x reader song rec : no more - f(x) ( ??? ) warnings ! none ᯤ ^ ㅇ ^ happy reading ! ⸝⸝・ᘏᘏ

prompt : accepting the job as music banks new mc couple was one of the best the best you said yes too

𝜗𝜚 it all started when your manager gave you the dreaded text ‘meeting in room 203’

𝜗𝜚 when you heard you were going to do a collab with a male idol you practically screamed

𝜗𝜚 the company’s recorded the two of you meeting to get some ‘arin & soobin’ footage 

𝜗𝜚 for a good ten minutes you just sat there together

𝜗𝜚 you jumped up when the choreographer told you, you would be dancing to no more by f(x)

𝜗𝜚 taesan only smiled as you both started to learn the choero

𝜗𝜚 trying to build a bridge between boy and girl kpop idols you guys actually touched unlike any collab since the 2nd gen

𝜗𝜚 you both spun eachother around and giggled; the dance reminded you of your trainee days and when you went on about them he just nodded

𝜗𝜚 the first day you both were dressed up in ‘nerds’; you giggled as taesan pushed up his glasses “I don’t really think they needed to dress you up you already look like a nerd” taesan gasped

𝜗𝜚 he ruffled your hair and you gasped, “same goes for you” a stylist ran to fix your hair and taesan bowed as she scolded him

𝜗𝜚 you pushed out your tongue as you heard ‘1 2 3 we are live’

𝜗𝜚 you ran out of frame and so did taesan; you both then walked backwards hitting eachothers backs

𝜗𝜚 “sorry y/n-shi” “no worries no worries.. oh hello !”. you both turned and waved to the camera “looks like we are both magnetic”, as taesan nudged you giggled “seems so ! just like our first stage illit magnetic!”

𝜗𝜚 taesan said the rest of the groups as you tried your best to no cringe at your aeygo

𝜗𝜚 you hit taesan head and he rubbed it why’ll grumbling “what y/n-shi?” “aren’t you forgetting something?” in unison you both said “but lastly turn in, in just a few stages to see our debut performance !”

𝜗𝜚 as you got into position on the bench you inched your hand to taesan’s, he winked as the music came on; in an instant you both began

𝜗𝜚 you felt your mike pack move a lot. you stopped for a second before taesan ran behind you. as you ‘scolded your friend’ taesan fixed you pack and peaked out a few times

𝜗𝜚 you thanked him as he got on one knee and opened the box to reveal a ring bop, you immediately grabbed the ring and turned around taesan straightend his tie and you winked and did your ending fairy

𝜗𝜚 the next day you were barbie and he was ken, you smiled from ear to ear

𝜗𝜚 your group was having their third comeback and where now all blonde it was perfect !

𝜗𝜚 taesan bit his lip at you as you smiled at the screen

𝜗𝜚 as taesan stared loving at you, you started your script “sheesh it’s really hot out here righ ken?” taesan stared for a second before he blinked

𝜗𝜚 “yes barbie ! speaking of sheesh we have babymonster performing their debut sheesh today !” you clapped and moved to the right as e girls waved

𝜗𝜚 they did they’re intro and you chimes in “I’m so happy you guys are here ! it’s so nice to see you again chiquita !” chiquita blushed and bowed and soon the interview came to an end

𝜗𝜚 “good luck y/n-shi” you turned around to thank the girl but were stunned when you saw it was taesan, you thanked him and ran backstage to change

𝜗𝜚 as you danced with your members everything was a blur, so when the song came to and end and the camera landed on you, blushed as you finally founded it and blew a kiss

𝜗𝜚 you were a chef, fisher, fruit and even a cookie before you started falling for taesan

𝜗𝜚 you both started hanging out more around hybe, today you were sitting in on one of their practices for their comeback ‘how?’ you smiled as taesan beamed at you

𝜗𝜚 it was about three months into mcing that you fell for the boy, and a day before he fell in love with you

𝜗𝜚 as taesan walked you to your dorm you stopped fiddling with your keys “y/n-shi” you nodded, and before you knew it his lips were on yours. you felt a hand around your waist and he felt two around his neck

𝜗𝜚 you smiled into the kiss before you felt the door open, you hurriedly broke away

𝜗𝜚 sunhee your leader looked between you two and then ran off with the trash talking about young love

𝜗𝜚 you giggled and then felt a hand cup your cheek “will you-“ “yes!”. taesan smiled and went in for another kiss before your leader dragged you into your dorm

𝜗𝜚 “oh I just changed my screen saver to my cat !” you jumped up and grabbed your phone showing it to your live stream

𝜗𝜚 you squinted confused by the comments, your turned your phone around to see a smiling taesan with your orange tabby, you giggled as your fans went wild

𝜗𝜚 “where the mc’s of love aren’t we?” you giggled as your fans went crazy after your bed moved.. such a cute couple

#kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop idol x reader #kpop imagines #kpopidol #kpop gg #kpop smau #kpop girls #reader x idol #reader insert

[cloama]

I want to talk about Barbie (2023) but not really in conversation with anyone so I think it’ll be a trickle of thoughts about my theatre experience.

For instance, while the theatre was packed with mothers and daughters, I was seated next to a tween boy who was not excited for the movie. He damn near passed out laughing during several scenes. He didn’t finish any of his snacks. He didn’t go to the bathroom.

None of the children in the theater went to the bathroom, which you’ll know if the true testament of a a movie’s success. Nobody moved, honey.

The monologue has been critiqued as baby’s first feminism but I don’t know what y’all wanted from a megacorp. I’m still surprised it even got in there. One of the moms in the theater stood the up and clapped bc apparently she needed some of that second wave feminism. Everyone’s politics isn’t where yours is. It always starts somewhere. Again do not know why people are complaining. This is nothing compared to Marvel’s not infamous girl power moment where they all just stood there. Also the speech while very Plan but heartfelt, coming from America Ferrara just carries a couple extra layers for me personally as she was one of the first actresses of my generation who was a chubby teen girl who was allowed to be a real person.

Also it’s not just the monologue. It’s wishing it was as easy as pulling your fellow people into the back of the van and reprogramming them with facts. In a world where facts literally don’t matter anymore, it felt like science fiction. I don’t know y’all, I just got a lot out of that script. Like if your gonna do a giant advertisement movie, this is about as good as it gets. And it didn’t feel icky like a dove ad. Similar to the mist recent Dungeons and Dragons, it felt like playing.

The Ken stuff was fun but we have to discuss the MASTERFUL use of Matchbox 20’s Push, which is about the rare disempowered man who wishes to get a leg up on his female partner who appears to be emotionally hurting him in their relationship. I need time. Bc Greta? Noah? They were crazy for that one. Absolutely mad. Ken comparing his struggle with Barbie’s boundaries to a man whose actually being hurt bc Ken is a doll and that’s about as far as his understanding goes [see: horses]. Reader, I died laughing. I think I was the only one in the theater that this bit really worked for. It was a stroke of genius and seems to be going unnoticed.

The acafans have been surprisingly quiet about this movie, all the merch and the orchestrated resurgence of Barbie. Make no mistake, this is fandom. Star Wars fans were allowed to buy their books, dolls, and bumper stickers in peace but the idea that a movie will make some people want to buy a 20 dollar doll or some pink pants is stressing people out. Would love everyone to step back and breathe. They’re always going to try to sell us something. They’re selling us something most of y’all have been buying.

I think I am less bothered by the capitalistic effects because for once I didn’t totally hate the experience of being sold something. Probably because I’m not buying anything and while I live a pink life, I’m not actually a Barbie girl. What I am is an early educator and dolls, dramatic play are a huge part of development.

What I also am, apparently, is a Barbie movie script defender because above all else, that script was tight as fresh box braids. A hilarious straight forward comedy. It should be a celebration of putting money behind talent but it’s a reminder of why writers need to be fairly compensated. This movie marks the end of summer, representing so many things. It’s complicated. Pink and complicated.

#gotta update my letterboxed #also I know we’re allowed to engage with movies as a viewers but the strike has me kinda sour on new stuff #so this is the last word on Barbie #I’ll talk about it again when I rewatch it in the future

[homemadesterekpie]

Hi, I’m new to TW (I know WAY LATE), but I’m pretty sure I’m now a diehard Sterek fan. Do you feel that one of the guys is favored over the other? I’m not sure if that’s worded right, I know they’re both loved as they should be, but is one more popular? Like, who has the most ships outside of Sterek? Who are most fics centered on? Also, I just saw another ship I follow discussing Barbenheimer, and I could totally see Stiles all excited and dressed in pink, dyed hair like Ken, for Barbie, while Derek readies for Oppenheimer by reading up on it, wanting to know the history, etc.

awww welcome to the fandom! i love how Sterek is still getting new shippers in 2023 its so cute.

i dont think one is more favoured but i do think Stiles is the more “mainstream” character of the show? he’s more generally liked i think. but also its hard for me to be objective because i’ve been into the Sterek fandom exclusively for so long, i haven’t witnessed much from the mainstream teen wolf fandom in ages. but over the years that was my impression. but i know Derek is very much beloved too just not in the same way.

all in all, i can’t really help you on the questions about the fandom outside of Sterek 😅 i haven’t bothered with it in too long. but i do know a lot of ships from the show were hella popular, i even enjoyed some of them and still do when i read Sterek fics but none were ever as popular as Sterek and frankly thats all that matters (to me lol).

akdkakfjak i went to see Barbie last friday and it was so good!!! and i just know Sterek have booked a double feature to see Barbenheimer. Stiles made it a whole ass event. he planned his outfit, Derek’s outfit and everything. they made the whole thing a nice big date.

#anonymous #answered

[godsstrongestwhmfucker]

Barbenheimer: Hell is Real and We Built It

Last night I decided to commit to the meme of watching both Barbie and Oppenheimer on the same day. I had a bit of a mix up with the movie theaters, turns out that constructing movie theaters following the philosophy of Californian Starbucks is actually detrimental, but I digress. I was fortunate enough to have a two hour break between both of these films in order to let them properly digest. In fact, they’re still being broken down as I write them, so my thoughts are a bit more sporadic than I would usually have them when committing my thoughts to text. I have nothing but good things to say about both films, plotwise, I’ll try to stay away from any major spoilers, focusing more on themes rather than the story aspects of both stories. The Oppenheimer section will be riddled with spoilers, but I will mention that when we get there so you may skip that section.

Barbie was a bit of a shocker to me. I’m no stranger to stories that like to get on their soapbox, but Barbie was strikingly different. I wasn’t annoyed at the message the same way I was in regards to The Alchemist or Netflix’s Sabrina: The Teenage Witch. I make the connection between those three as they are incredibly loud about what they’re trying to tell you, they break a very fundamental rule of writing I hold very close to me: Show, don’t tell. None of those three tell as much as line up a series of megaphones directly next to your ear and yell their message, but Barbie executed that in an oddly entertaining way that felt real, felt genuine. When watching the characters loudly exclaim the issues of society, it’s not the writers telling me that patriarchal attitudes make life as a woman difficult, it’s someone’s mom venting to her friends, it’s raw.

The movie very loudly exclaims the issues of American, hell, Global patriarchal issues and the division it causes in men and the problems it causes women. Any system in which one group is the one in control inevitably oppresses the other while creating mass expectations for the oppressor that in turn are a source of anxiety and depression. Being in the position of power in turn chains us from any form of self-expression and creates societal expectations for the oppressor group. We refer to this issue in men as toxic masculinity (TM).

This is the opposite side of what we’re going to call Testosterone Poisoning (TP). TP is a voluntary and conscious thing, me taking action to look like a refrigerator with limbs because it’s what I want and it’s what makes me happy is entirely different to (TM). TM is doing things not because it’s what makes me happy, but because of the societal expectations that have been imposed upon me. To put it in layman’s terms, TP leads to himbos and TM leads to Andrew Tate. TP is self-actualization through masculinity, being masculine is your personality, you show up to the party driving the biggest fucking obnoxious vehicle but still give the right of way because in your meathead brain God has constructed you to be the epitome of goodness and virtue. You are the second coming of Christ with 3 scoops of protein. TM is none of that, as it fails at the act of self-actualization and instead follows the concept of conformity, you are no longer Todd, you are a man.

Which leads to my next point, why is that bad? It’s the dissolution of identity. Mike works out because he’s Mike, he likes lifting heavy objects because it’s a way for him to cool off after work. Todd works out to pick up chicks because some dude on the internet told him women like huge arms(which studies have actually disproven, women actually prefer you have a massive dumpy) and that he needs to have sex to be a man. I’m not going to say much other than Ken himself doesn’t actually like the image of what a man is in a patriarchal society and states he didn’t even like it at all nor that he found joy in it. The expectations of society to fit in to a specific gender norm/expectation made him unhappy, even if he was in a position of power. Combating the issue for women is just as problematic, though. Barbie and the mother acknowledge this in the end, as Barbie realizes that following these societal expectations of what female empowerment are accidentally have become her own chains. Society itself is a prison that we created ourselves because every idea of what we should be is shoved down our throats. You cannot be happy with yourself because of society's own expectations and fighting those expectations confronts you with more expectations of what the counterculture should be. If you’re a woman, in any position, say astronaut, you’re no longer just an astronaut. You’re a role model, you’re someone that all little girls should aspire to be. Anything you do will be judged because the society we live in simply does not want you to succeed.

Being happy with yourself in any society that does not see all as equal is simply not acceptable. As a man, you have to fulfill certain requirements to maintain that image of masculinity because it's expected of you, you are not yourself, you are a man, and you should act like one. As a woman, don’t you dare step out of line or we will find faults in you in every way possible. Don’t be single either, because you “aren’t complete” unless you’re in a relationship. Think about that for a second. Consider how many people online think that all their problems will be solved by having someone in their life and think about how many times you’ve heard the line “You complete me” in film. Again, society expects things from you, that you can’t self-actualize until you’re in a relationship. You’re not allowed to be happy until that American Nuclear Family ideology happens, because that’s what a happy ending *should* be, but is it? I’m not going to answer that for you, but finding out that I’m a massive Bible-Thumper and High Fantasy nerd did more for my mental health than any relationship I’ve been in.

I’m going to take a minute in regards to Allan(Michael Cera). Allan is perfect, Allan doesn’t abide by the gender norms, he is not “a man,” he’s Allan. Allan, if anything, is disgusted by the societal expectations of society and finds happiness in staying Allan. In a place where all the Kens choose to adopt the same personality, Allan retains himself as Allan and chooses to escape because that society is detrimental to his own self-being. I relate with Allan, it’s hard not to. Young boys are told not to play with dolls, like the color pink, or even grow their hair out sometimes, because it’s simply not “manly.” I’ve grown up with that, I’ve been told that having my hair at chest length is too girly and that I should cut it or even shave my head because that’s what guys do. Thankfully, there’s been a change in that, but you can see where I’m going with this. The patriarchy sucks. It’s a prison, for both men and women. Individuality is dead and the patriarchal attitudes don’t allow for people to exist for who they are, they must conform.

*Oppenheimer Spoilers*

Now that we’ve gone through that, let’s talk about Oppenheimer. I like to think we are all good, that no human is evil, but rather misguided, corrupted by the society in which we exist. Wars are never about good versus evil, they are conflicts of ideology. We can definitely argue that one side is “evil,” but any villain never considers themselves as such. No sane man would ever kill another willingly, yet, in war, it happens. We dehumanize the “enemy,” they are no longer people, they are rats, they are roaches, they are vermin. We do not kill, we eliminate the problem. War does not make heroes, it makes monsters.

Alfred Nobel invented dynamite for the sake of improving safety conditions in the creation of canals, but was labeled a “merchant of death” by the news as his explosives were used for war. Richard Gatling invented the gatling gun believing that it would diminish the need for large armies. Oppenheimer led the Manhattan Project with the idea of creating one as a deterrence against the Nazis of ever using one on the basis of mutually assured destruction.

Oppenheimer fell into the same problem as his predecessors. He had revolutionized wars.

In one scene, they are discussing which places to target with nuclear weapons. Kyoto is immediately stricken off the list. Not for any particular reason other than one of the individuals there really likes vacationing there. The deaths of hundreds or thousands isn’t the problem. The problem is creating an inconvenience. The Japanese did some horrendous things during WWII, but what do random civilians have to do with anything? Nothing, and that was all they were worth. They are set pieces, they are not even a number.Their lives do not matter anywhere near as much as someone’s vacation being ruined. The atomic bomb created a massive gap in power, one so great that the so-called enemy isn’t even dehumanized, they are not even ants. Ants at least are knowingly exterminated when seen, but the lives of the Japanese people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki weren’t. War does not create heroes, it makes monsters.

The invention of the nuclear bomb created an arms race that the US is still economically recovering from. It created a world in which a fight between major powers dare not target each other out of fear of complete annihilation. A world where it’s no longer about strategy, manpower, or ideology, but who has the biggest bomb and how many of them? Oppenheimer and the researchers in the Manhattan Project had created a world in flames.

Both movies show that every act of villainy or evil is something we have fabricated. That much in the same way God has created us in his image, we have created the Devil in our own. We forge the same chains that bind us. The ones we use to dominate others, end up around our own necks. Every good intention paves another brick towards our own personal Hell, one we have already built. We’re just finding our way back home.

#barbenheimer #oppenheimer #barbie

[rebeljyn]

I really do think the Barbie movie is gonna be about Barbies who are currently being played with by a little girl. There’s already so much that relates to the physical appearance of Barbies(the eternally high heeled feet) and to the way they’re marketed(each barbie has a career but none of the kens do, midge and allan were both real dolls sold at some point). But what gets to me the most is 2 things.

The first is the Barbie who’s got her hair chopped off and marker lines on her face while randomly doing the splits. It’s exactly how MANY Barbies end up because a lot of little girls want to do their Barbies’ hair or makeup or just want to experiment with their toys. The important part is though, there is no Barbie who is produced that way. They BECOME that way because children play with them.

The second is the dialogue that seems so clearly like something that a child would think and put into their stories for their Barbies. The whole spending the night bit with Barbie asking what they would do and Ken replying he’s not sure is exactly what a child who’s only heard about these things but hasn’t really understood it yet would think about. Ken saying he literally never goes anywhere without his rollerblades sounds like a thing I would actually say while playing with my own dolls both because it’s objectively a funny concept but maybe also because kids think rollerblades are fun and cool. The two Kens saying they would “beach each other off” reminds me both of kids who make up their own slang because words sound similar (“beat you” can sound like “beach you”) but also kids who hear something and don’t get it quite right so they say it wrong just because they think it’s what they should do to be more like adults.

The whole thing with Barbie going in the direction of the “Real World” makes me think that unlike Toy Story, the Barbies are dolls who don’t know yet that they are dolls, and the that Barbie will find out about it once she goes to the Real World. A bit like Neo realizing he was in the Matrix all along but instead Barbie finds out she was a doll living through a little girl’s playtime her whole life.

#ANYWAYS I HAD MANY THOUGHTS AND I WANTED TO SHARE THATS IT #barbie #barbie 2023 #mari just saying things

[isaac963]

Just saw the Barbie Movie today, and what an achievement of a film. So layered so complex, simultaneously tongue-and-cheek and angrily relevant. While many have pointed out the central themes of the issues faced by women, I think there is another message Margot Robbie, Greta Gerwig, and co-writer Noah Baumbach are telling audiences. Both Gurwig and Baumbach are members of the Writers Guild of America, and Baumbach even skipped the premier in protest. I think their professional frustrations with the major studios was on full display in this film.

A live action Barbie film was first announced in 2009 by none other than Universal Studios. After the project faltered, it went to Sony pictures in 2014, with Amy Schumer slated as the lead. Yet, creative differences between parties involved lead to that project fizzling out, and the rites reverted back to Mattel in October 2018. Those involved on the creative leadership side of the film all departed. Mattel then approached Margot Robbie, who not only signed on as the lead, but helped produce it with her and her partner’s production company LuckyChap Entertainment. Robbie pitches the film to Warner Bros, who green light it, and then taps Gerwig to join the project as Screenwriter, and eventually Director. Written over the pandemic, principal photography began March 22, 2022, wrapped July 21, 2022, and was released nearly a year later July 9, 2023 to critical and audience acclaim. 14 years in the making on a property picked up and put down by many, it’s surprising this film came to fruition, and we were given a gem. It’s also clear that MANY hard working people brought this film to us.

Barbie makes reference to many other films and classic film genres. It begins as 2001: A Space Odyssey, it uses narrative voice over, The Matrix gets a shoutout, 300 (not a direct reference, but the Ken battle has a lot of slow motion that I would argue is alluding to 300), even a choreographed old Hollywood dance number. And though Barbie, being the pop culture icon that she is, could surely stand in its own limelight, so why would Gerwig and Baumbach do this? Why allude to other films in your own film, why make that creative choice? I don’t think it was just to be funny, or meme-y, the film does so much of that, to great effect, without alluding to other works of film. I think they’re telling us Barbie is also about film, and the rotten state of the film industry. From that perspective, what else does this movie do that other films just don’t do anymore, and why do it this way? Every set piece was practical, built on a sound stage, every prop was practical, every accessory crafted, every backdrop was painted and lit, and it ALL looked amazing. The transition from Barbieland to California, all of those moving set pieces (the rocket, the boat, the snowmobile) were PRACTICAL made of plywood, foam, paint, and RIGGED to move. Surely, doing that in green screen would’ve been easier, and used less materials, why do it this way? I think it’s a rebuke of the studio executives.

To me, it says cinema is first and foremost an art form, and incredible things are possible when you let your artists tell the stories they set out to tell. It can be incredibly lucrative when you trust your creative professionals to do well and properly compensate them for it. Cinema, second most, is a business, but executives don’t make films. Workers do. The workers who built that dream house, hung those lights, sewed those costumes, applied that makeup, delivered that catering, swept and mopped at the end of the day. They made a film that’s now made over $700 million dollars (and still going) for a studio that invested only $145 million. How much of that went to salaries is not public knowledge. 1,100 people were credited from cast to catering, nearly all of whom will receive no further compensation for the extraordinarily profitable film. On top of that, executives are trying to find ways of replacing some of them with AI.

Which brings us to Mattel’s depiction in the film. Though it says Mattel on the building, I think Gurwig, Baumbach, and Robbie mean all corporations. Warner Bros., Amazon, Netflix, all of em will put profit over people, profit over art, EVERY time. They want to twist tie all of us into our Barbie boxes, make us forget we have agency, make us forget that we’re not commodities to be sold. They may have the patents and the copyrights, but Barbie belongs to everyone, our experiences with Barbie belong to us. Pantone 219 c, a color on the visible light spectrum belongs to everyone in spite of what Mattel will say (I love ya Stuart Semple)! “Do you guys ever think about [the stupid rules we’re told to follow before] dying?”

I feel the film makers were truly conveying the dissatisfaction of the workers of Hollywood, people everywhere really. Proud to work hard and honestly, but angry at their exploitation. The patriarchy marring Barbie’s dreams, just as Hollywood marred the dreams of movie makers.

10/10 Go see this movie.

#barbie #sag aftra #warner bros #margot robbie #filmmaking #movies #review #movie essay

[kara-night-light]

Incorrect Quotes Part Two

This time i got them from a quote generator!

Sarah, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Jonathan, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids Jordan: what the fuck are you guys doing? Sarah: playing systemic oppression

Sarah: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Jordan: Sarah no. Jonathan: Mistlefoe. Jordan: Please stop encouraging her.

Sarah: Tell Jordan about the birds and the bees. Jonathan: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

Sarah: Is stabbing someone immoral? Jordan: Not if they consent to it. Jonathan: Depends who you’re stabbing. Natalie: YES?!?

Jonathan: Why are Sarah and Jordan sitting with their backs to each other? Natalie: They had a fight. Jonathan: Then why are they holding hands? Natalie: They get sad when they fight.

Sarah: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Jordan: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Jonathan? Jonathan: Probably “road work ahead”. Natalie: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Sarah: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Jordan: Jonathan: Natalie: Everyone Else At Sarah’s Surprise Birthday Party: Jordan: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Sarah: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people? Jordan: Plane tickets? Jonathan: Concert tickets? Natalie: Prostitution? Sarah, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

Sarah is cooking Jordan: Any chance that’s for me? Sarah: It’s for Natalie. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side. Jonathan: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Sarah: Jordan, I'm sad. Jordan: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Jonathan: Natalie, I'm sad. Natalie, nodding: mood.

Sarah: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Jordan: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Jonathan: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Natalie: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Sarah: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

#superman and lois #sarah cortez #natalie irons #jordan kent #jonathan kent #sarah cushing #incorrect superman and lois quotes

[cl0wn-republic]

Why does EG Big Mac look like a ken doll with sun burn

They white washed him and made him a body shape he is not.

The simple answer is so all the characters share the same body type split into two categories (male and female) help cuts costs when making dolls. Ofc none of the make characters got any dolls and the dolls we did get of the characters were, um,

bad

Its clear they tried to do what most other doll companies did and use one doll as a base with different colors/hair/accessories to make them stand apart. Where mlp failed at this was making the dolls as cheaply as possible and horribly missing the make on the “fashion” part (both in show and doll form, its much more noticeable on the dolls tho) They’re very much more akin to budget Monster High and Barbie dolls

The lightening skin/coat colors of characters has no excuse and shouldn’t have been done in the first place. Maybe the paler red was to avoid giving him a racist red skin look (playing it safe?) but that could’ve been avoided if they had actual skin tones and wouldn’t have been a bug deal since hes red as a pony

Years later they tried to redo the dolls and they looked much better fashion wise but by than it was already too late and more on the meh than bad side if fashion dolls

#mlp #equestria girls #my little pony #unless the kid was a hardcore mlp fan they were gonna go for the lagoona blue doll sitting next to Twlight who had much for accessories #and looked good

[cal-metacritic]

The Guardian - Barbie: The Album

Various Artists

Barbie: The Album

60/100

Soundtracks are a notoriously difficult thing to get exactly right. For every Black Panther there’s a dozen complete messes that do disservice to a great film or sit as a shining example of how bad a bad film can truly be. So, when it was announced that Lady Gaga was curating a soundtrack for the highly anticipated Barbie film, the internet was set alight with questions about which of those things it would turn out to be. 

The truth of the matter is that it was really none of them. 

This soundtrack features fourteen tracks and fourteen unique artists, representing some of the biggest and best names that the music world has to offer today. Covering a variety of sounds, themes, and genres, the soundtrack sees a healthy mix of some artists playing to their strengths while others took a swing at something completely new for them. The results of this are mixed, but with every mix there comes good and not so good. 

Starting with the good, there is a remarkable bit of consistency within the soundtrack. While there’s most definitely different approaches to the film’s theme present, there isn’t any song except for maybe one or two that feels out of place with the rest. Whether or not this was incidental or an intentional directive from the album’s curator Lady Gaga isn’t clear, but it lends this soundtrack a feeling of almost being like a studio album. These tracks often feel as if they belong together and were made with the same intentions in mind. The production is consistently candy coated and the hooks are frequently big and plentiful. 

In terms of individual songs, the notable standouts of the soundtrack are Dreamland by Sabrina Carpenter, I’m Just Ken by Ryan Gosling, Reality by Father John Misty, and If I Could Change My Life by Lorde. All four songs carry very different approaches to the themes at hand, but all four managed to create something that was lasting and memorable. Misty and Lorde’s songs are delicate and affecting while Sabrina’s is daydreamy, and Gosling’s is theatrical camp of the highest order. 

Elsewhere we have songs from Dua Lipa (Girls Night), Harry Styles (Never Be Yours Again), and Lady Gaga (Smile) that are very sturdy and interesting songs, though no quite hitting the high marks of the others mentioned above. These tracks are some of the most stylistically reminiscent of their creators, leaving a strong sense of these artist’s strengths but also perhaps a bit of a want to see them taking some of the swings their peers did (even if not all were successful). Smile from Gaga it has to be noted may suffer a tad from it’s placement within the tracklist. As the final song, it’s a little melancholy and unlike the film this soundtrack is for, ends on a note that is a little subdued. Had it swapped places with Lorde’s song (a better finale track for this), it may have landed with a bit more punch. 

Of course, there are also some things that are not so fantastic about the project. 

One consistent aspect about this is that the production, while cohesive, is often a little vapid and shallow. There’s not much happening in many of these songs musically and while that’s not a requirement, it does leave many tracks feeling like they’re missing something. Many artists swung for disco adjacent tracks which works for the aesthetic the film carries, but none of them went really creative places with it. 

In terms of songs, there’s a few that represent the higher end of low. They’re sort of middle of the road in that they’re not travesties but also not marks of greatness either. Fantasy by Troye Sivan and Zendaya is a perfectly serviceable song that doesn’t manage to quick stick into your memory once it passes. The production is fitting for the scene it plays in, but it’s lyrics are rough around the edges though it at times seems to be intentionally musical theatre coded (albeit maybe not executed to the best of the respective artist’s abilities). Woman by Normani is a fine track, but similar to Fantasy is not a super memorable one. It plays a bit like a Normani album track which isn’t inherently a bad thing, but can’t help but feel a little unexciting in context of this project. Under the Stars by Ariana Grande is similarly a fine song, but an unremarkable one. It slides into that camp of disco adjacent tracks that plays that field safely. 

Unfortunately, there’s a small trio of tracks that rank among the bottom here. 

The opening song, Perfect by Lady Gaga, acts as an introduction to the project and to the film and to both it falls a bit flat. The lyrics are very unrefined for an artist of Gaga’s caliber and while it’s very clear she isn’t trying to dip into her deepest writing sensibilities and offer something befitting of the childlike nature of Barbieland, it doesn’t stop the song from playing a bit awkwardly. It’s not an offensively bad song by any means, but it doesn’t get things going on a great foot. Gaga thankfully gets a redemption arc with a very solid song later. 

Daydream by Rita Ora is a song that feels very at odds with everything else. More than any other song, this feels disconnected from the film. Sonically consistent with it’s cousins on the album, lyrically this is just a basic love song that could be found on either of the star’s albums. It’s not very Barbie and especially feels out of line with the film’s tone and attitude. It’s as if this was a song Rita had left over that got repurposed. 

And finally there is Jessie J’s Pink Dreams which attempts to sample Aqua’s classic Barbie Girl to heavily, heavily debatable results. Production wise the song is capital r Rough. The vocal samples are awkwardly mixed in to the point that the song’s original beat is heard within this song and it isn’t on purpose. The vocals of said sample are also too fast for the beat they ride making the transition feel rushed and disjointed. The melodic sample feels weird and shoehorned in as well, leaving the song’s melody a little bit monotonous in its repetition. The vocals themselves frequently come off from the track, going out of time with the beat. Lyrically, the song feels like it belongs to something else entirely, as if the songwriters had not actually seen the film itself or read up much on it’s plot or themes. 

This is not a perfect soundtrack. It doesn’t sit alongside the film’s quality and doesn’t always fairly represent the material that inspired it. But it also does have hits of brilliance that fundamentally understand the intention of this and those tracks work brilliantly. It is neither a jewel in Barbie’s crown nor a knife to her plastic chest, but rather an intriguing, sometimes beguiling companion piece to the year’s biggest blockbuster. There’s plenty to love here, and some to skip, but it can’t once be called boring. 

And maybe that in and of itself is the best thing that a soundtrack could really ask to be. 

[queen-erika-the-songful]

Okay I’m just kind of confused at how hard they’re pushing the idea of mermaids in the Dreamhouse Adventures/Go Team Roberts/It Takes Two universe. I mean just think about how much we’ve seen them play a big part in the last few years:

2017 - This continuity starts with Dolphin Magic, which we KNOW is part of the Dreamhouse Adventures (+Go Team Roberts) universe because these EXACT versions of Barbie, her sisters, and Ken appear later when that series premieres. Plus, in some promo material, DM is advertised as a kickoff special to the Netflix series. In this movie, Barbie meets Isla, a REAL mermaid. As a side note, we can conclude from this movie that mermaids and magic are 100% part of the canon. 

2018 - Dreamhouse Adventures premieres its 1st season in May, and its 2nd in September. We get a two-part episode in Season 2 titled “Barbie Roberts: Undercover Mermaid”. Barbie and friends go to a mermaid convention on vacation. Nikki wants to impress fashionista Fairuza Ukwani, who is called “The Mermaid Queen” with her own line of mermaid dresses.

2019 - We get Season 3 of DA as well as the 1st season of its “sequel series” Go Team Roberts!.(Sidenote: I have no idea why Netflix split GTR’s 2 seasons into a separate series. Not much in terms of themes, settings, or anything really separate it from the rest of DA). Go Team Roberts opens with a mermaid-centric 4-part episode, “Magical Mermaid Mystery”. Yes, 4 parts! May as well just been another movie/special. Several stories are happening at the same time, mainly Barbie trying to figure out a shady mystery at her new job at the waterpark. The rest of her family go to Costa Rica for some whale migration that is rumored to be aided by a mermaid. Chelsea believes in it wholeheartedly, because of course she would - THEY MET ONE. But for some reason Skipper and Stacie aren’t totally on board with the idea. Again - THEY ALREADY MET A REAL MERMAID. So, Barbie solves the mystery, plays a mermaid along with her other friends in the water park’s show, and then goes to Costa Rica to see her family. Then in the end, Chelsea catches a glimpse of a mermaid helping the whales and she - for some reason - looks exactly like Barbie.

2020 & 2021 - Surprisingly enough, I think we got a break from mermaids during this time, unless I’m forgetting something. BUT THEN - 

2022 - Barbie: It Takes Two premieres following Big City, Big Dreams (2021), both of which take place in the same universe as DA+GTR. And now we get word that one of the next movies that is coming out is Mermaid Magic, again a mermaid movie that appears to be taking place in the DA+GTR+ITT universe. At the time of writing this (04/22) I have no idea what it’s about or if magic is involved again or if they’ll mention Isla at all. I kind of hope they do though.

And this is all just one media continuity! None of this is even getting into the amount of mermaid (+ other fantasy) dolls and toys we’ve gotten over the last several years from Barbie. I guess the mermaids craze just hasn’t slowed down or died yet. I mean, I’m already biased since I love mermaids, so maybe I just didn’t notice, but seriously the amount of mentions of them in the DA-verse is so weird to me.

I’m probably overthinking this but it’s hard not to notice now.

#long post #barbie #barbie: dreamhouse adventures #barbie dreamhouse adventures: go team roberts #barbie: it takes two

[asagimeta]

The time has come again to remind everyone that good queer representation does not necessarily equal morally good queer characters

I’ve heard that apparently there’s a renaissance of anti-Hannibal going on lately? And that + the rise in popularity of media like Helluva Boss and Killing Eve, and the addition of more openly queer charectors in existing media- from comic book based media to long-running shows like American Horror Story- I feel like this needs to be said again- not necessarily by me but I posted about it way back when Hannibal originally aired it’s finale so I figure, what the hell

Good representation =/= morally good characters

You can have both, absolutely, but you can also have them separate, and you can have all combinations of the reverse too

Ofcourse, to be clear right in the beginning, what counts as “good” representation vs “bad” reputation is going to vary from person to person, everything from life experiences to media exposure to personal opinions will dictate where you land on the sliding scale of “good” or “bad”, someone who’s consumed quite alot of queer-focused media, for example, is going to have a very different opinion than someone who’s only seen one background gay in a TV show that one time, and someone who’s a really huge fan of horror is going to have a much different opinion than someone who’s only a fan of lighter-hearted fair

With that said, in my personal opinion, the measure of good vs bad representation relies less on the character and more on the presentation of said character- less, not entirely

To get what I mean, here’s the best example I can think of:

Castiel from Supernatural is, objectively, a good charactor- if nothing else he’s morally good by most standards, certainly by the time season 15 rolls around, but his canonically queer presentation is just.... horrible, horrible representation and I’ve only met literally one person myself who disagreed with that

Cas is presented as being a really tragic figure right from the start of his coming out- the one thing in the world that would make him truly happy for even a single moment is confessing that he’s in love with Dean, even if Dean rejects him, just saying it is enough, that is..... sad

If it had been framed differently, it actually could have been very good representation, in a “I don’t need you to validate me, I’m being honest about who I am for the first time in my life and that’s enough, I’m enough” way, but it wasn’t, it was framed as pining, as “Even if you don’t love me, my acknowledging openly that I love you is enough to make me happy”, and again that could have worked if framed differently but.... it’s followed up by the infamous “Gay angels go to Super Mega Turbo Hell” thing and like.... no....

Cas is a good character who is queer, he is not a good queer character, because his existence as a queer character lasted less than five minutes and was immediately followed by literally going to what’s worse than hell for expressing his queerness

There is no way I can express the amount of levels of Bad that is, to say nothing of how Dean treats the entire experience for like.... ever... from there on out

But now let’s look at Hannibal, who is objectively a pretty bad character morally- he’s stupendously written but yeah I mean look the dude eats people there’s just no getting around that

But I would argue that he’s excellent queer representation because of how he was presented

Hannibal’s sexuality is never defined, for starters, there’s never a “very special episode” moment where he has some long-winded coming out speech, in fact we don’t quite know how he identifies but because he’s written so artfully we don’t really need to, his exact sexuality doesn’t feel like it needs to be known because, frankly, not much personal information is known about Hannibal anyway, and sexuality feels like one of those arbitrary things that he wouldn’t really care about defining

And that’s the other thing- he’s far from sexless and yet he places no emphasis on sex, he isn’t hypersexualized but he also isn’t being kept as a Ken doll to preserve the message of gay purity (because I don’t know apparently there’s a Thing some people have about how gay people aren’t allowed to be sexual???) he’s just... a person

And that’s really what it comes down to that makes him great, he’s a person first and queer second... or third.... or fourth or fifth.... it never defines who he is, it’s just part of who he is, and regardless of your opinion on Hannibal specifically, I think that is something most queer people strive for in representation

It’s great to have stories that are focused on queerness but it’s equally exhausting to only be able to have characters who’s lives revolve around their sexualities, it’s nice to go into media and go “Oh that character that I already like for these reasons is also queer, that’s so cool!”

Hannibal also skillfully side-steps stereotypes, despite falling into the category of being “polite, thin, and neat”, despite loving fine wine and fine art and fine culture, he never feels like a flamboyant theater kid with a decoration-diploma, wich is how alot of queer characters in this category can feel

His story is about alot of things and his relationship with Will is at the center of much of it, but that relationship didn’t become explicitly queer until the show was almost over- not because it was sudden or poorly written but because it was a slow build up, wich is also refreshing, as alot of times it feels like queer characters are made as explicitly queer as they’re allowed to be as quickly as they’re able to be on screen so that the show can grab those important Representation Brownie Points from episode one and either introduce a Manwhore or a Uhaul Lesbian right away and just kind of leave them in that trope until “someone comes along and changes that” or whatever, I don’t even know what straight writers do half the time, but Hannibal- as a show and a charactor- doesn’t do that, he’s just allowed to exist and tell his story, and THAT is good representation

With the heavy-handed example over with though, I want to tackle the biggest part of this entire “debate” that makes me interested in it:

Queer people are allowed to be bad people

Queer people are allowed to be lazy and unattractive and non-political and angry and jealous and yes, “bad” and evil too

Wile I DEFINITELY prefer to have morally good characters- especially after literally a century of rarely getting more than The Evil Homosexual stereotype and all it’s kin- I also don’t like the direction some people are taking this where queer people are only “allowed” to be 100% morally flawless and good and righteous at all times because it’s just so unrealistic, and because it does the exact same thing that the opposite stereotype does: Puts queer people in a box, makes us a decoration for the straight cast so that the creators get Representation Brownie Points and can’t get yelled at on Twitter, and treats us like we’re some other species (and not in the cool way like werewolves but more like... well, decorations, as I’ve said before)

And if you’re worried about the way straight-cis people perceive us due to seeing evil queer characters, you should be equally worried about how they perceive us seeing nothing but morally flawless ones

I could get into An Entire Thing about the history of Straights trying to turn queer people into what they want us to be and present an inaccurate depiction of us to their brethren for their own benefit but I’ll make it relatively simple

The old way of keeping The Queers away from their Innocent Straight Children was to turn us into villains so that we would be ashamed of who we really are and hide ourselves and pretend to be The Good Christian Folk nextdoor and not get overly political or loud or different

The new way of keeping The Queers away from their Innocent Straight Children is to turn us into sexless Ken & Barbie stereotypes so we can be ashamed of who we really are and pretend to be The Good Christian Folk nextdoor and not get overly political or loud or different

By sterilizing queerness into something they find more “acceptable”, they’re doing the same thing they used to, but now through a lens of “Aren’t you happy you get what you want? You can get married now! You can hold hands in public! Just make sure not to do any of that other crazy stuff you people get up to and you can stay at the Civil Rights Table :)”, we’re still not “allowed” to be sexual human beings, it’s just framed in a way that makes us feel like the people shunning us are on our side wile those same people are still in the corner going “Just don’t kiss in public ok?”

And I could go On about this for some time but let’s get back to the point-

Queer people are three-dimensional people and we should be allowed to be so, we should be allowed to have characterization outside of The Gay Love Interest and The Gay BFF and The Gay Butler and so on, outside of the stereotypes being imposed on us

That’s one of the main reasons I love Yuri On Ice so much, and love Batwoman so much.... and one of the main reasons I love Hannibal and Harley Quinn and Helluva Boss and Killing Eve so much, all of these things star queer characters and queer relationships to different degrees (Batwoman, for example, makes a MUCH larger point and political stance about queerness than, say, Hannibal) and they’re all about something other than queerness too, the charecters are three-dimensional and they’re not built around their sexualities or side peices for straight people

And none of them are PUNISHED for their sexualities either

Going back to Castiel earlier, stereotypes are hardly the worst of our worries when Burry Your Gays, Gayngst Induced Suicide, and Gay Guy Dies First are still alive and well- among others

From Frank N’ Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show to Tara in Buffy The Vampire Slayer to, oh look, it’s Supernatural again with not just Cas, but also Charlie, and even arguably Dean (but that’s a much longer story for a much different time) and many many more... sometimes just having any gay charecter live through a franchise is enough on it’s own- setting the bar awfully low there but it’s still hard for a shamefully large amount of franchises to step over

In some cases like Tara, it can be pretty decently argued that the death has little- if anything- to do with queerness, but in examples like Cas and Frank, it’s pretty blatantly obvious, especially when the other queer characters in their respective franchises didn’t exactly fair well either....

Matt Baume put it best when he said that until recently, you had to choose if you wanted your only source of representation to be dead or evil, and most people chose evil

Now-a-days that’s clearly not the case as much but there’s still a heavy enough flavor of it there- and villains are just part of gay culture, dating all the way back to prohibition, queer people identified as outlaws because we literally were, so pirates and cowboys and other anti-heros and villains became a staple of the culture that’s still very much alive to this day, thus leading to another point: Identification

Straight people can identify with pretty much whoever they want- from superheros to princesses to any and every kind of villain

Tony Soprano is a horrible, horrible person but is notorious for being beloved among straight white males because he’s a projection of who they want to be- powerfull (and wealthy)

Stolas from Helluva Boss actually presents a pretty similar power fantasy, he’s part of a family who lives outside the larger part of the law, he can kill (nearly) anyone he pleases, he’s physically and socially powerfull, he’s wealthy, he has a nuclear family, he gets to screw around with whoever he wants with the only one taking issue being his wife, the only real difference is that Stolas is queer (and much more fashionable... and pleasant)

Queer people should be allowed to have those power fantasies as much as straight people are

Speaking as a bisexual female myself, I absolutely ADORE Villanelle from Killing Eve, I really don’t care that she’s a bitch or has killed an uncountable amount of people, it’s fun to project on her, and seeing a very flawed woman fall in love and be vulnerable and open herself up to a relationship and get that relationship with another woman is AMAZING to me, that doesn’t make the relationship it’s self healthy or good, but it’s still fun to watch and plays further into that identification

I love Korra and Asami from Legend Of Korra, they’re a sweet, wholesome relationship between two sweet, wholesome characters and I adore them... but I’m allowed to adore Eve and Villanelle too, even if the relationship is toxic and the characters have baggage and Villanelle is literally a serial killer

Ofcourse enjoying something doesn’t make it “good”, I enjoy alot of trash B rated (and C rated) horror movies too, it doesn’t mean I think they deserve Oscars (if that’s really the measuring stick we’re going to use), but I think when it comes to representation, it’s important to distinguish the difference between good queer character and a moral queer character, they just... aren’t the same

Light Yagami from Death Note, Bill from Kill Bill, and Joker from Batman are all just... horrible, horrible people, there’s no doubting that, they are morally terrible... but my god are they fantastic charecters- they’re interesting, they’re three dimensional (even if only occasionally in the Joker’s case), they’re well written and complex, there’s a reason why they’re iconic and why they’re still talked about decades after their introduction into the world, they are GREAT characters who are morally bad, and characters like Hannibal and Villlanelle are in that boat too, they just so happen to be queer- and there’s what it all boils down to

People being queer, not queer people

Some of the most beloved examples above like Yuri On Ice and Legend Of Korra are praised for being about people who are queer, people who have stories focused on other things and are just allowed to exist without their sexualities defining them, and the same should be said and appreciated for villains who are queer too

In an age where so much queer-focused media is about tragedy (the period lesbian dramas and Gayngst teen media for example), and so much of it is focused on the same exact aspects of queer life (coming out, dating around, getting or being married, but mostly coming out), it’s great to have characters who just so happen to be queer without those things being the center of their storylines- and without them being canon fodder or the Gay BFF, or being a terrible stereotype from the 90s that just won’t die...

And that by no means is to say you have to like these characters- not at all, there are PLENTY of objectively good/well-written queer characters who I don’t like for whatever reason- but to call them bad representation just because they’re bad people is sweeping ALOT under the rug

And I know I’ve harped alot on avoiding queer-centered storylines like coming out stories and relationship dramas, but those are fine, they have their place just like everything else, really, they just don’t need to have the only place- that does a disservice to so many other types of queer stories- for the heroes and the villains, because morality and goodness have nothing to do with one’s sexuality, just like one’s sexuality has nothing to do with morality and goodness

#other #lgbtq