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suicidal-bitch-countdown · 2 years

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The world without Alisha

Some of us are never meant to live too long.

Look at the sunshine, listen to the birds sing, watch the water's waves, touch the grass. Live in harmony with nature. All while this planet hasn't been ruined yet.

But some people, let's call them demons, kill that vibe, mess up the natural order of things, and it's best if they are eliminated. Earth becomes so much a better place without them. You will see. World without Alisha will be amazing and your troubles will end.

I wasn't even meant to be here. My Parents considered aborting me, and started their series of fatal mistakes by choosing to keep me after all. A duo unfit to raise any kid, let alone a vulnerable one. They hurt me badly, and doubt ever realised the true extent of it, even though I vocally cried out many a time.

When the timeline gets disrupted in such way, the natural order goes out the window, and everything around that afflicted person goes wrong. Don't tell me you haven't noticed.

I had to live with it, daily reality of it putting so much guilt and self hatred upon me.

Questioning sense of life and my purpose since my teenage years, I've concluded that I am a nobody. A piece of nothing who must earn her right to oxygen and taking (stealing) this planet's resources. And often failed to, making me a mere parasite and oxygen thief.

That's why I tried so hard to be a good person, do useful things, and help people.

But when you're unable to help the one you love the most, that's when trouble starts.

I guess how much I love Her may be incomprehensible to most people. Doubt it is for Her. But that's Love for you, it's beyond any bounds, rules, and you're only a fool to try to stop it. I should've when I still had the chance in the early days, but I was addicted to the feeling too much, and only fell more day by day, like an avalanche.

There's nobody I hate more in this world than I hate myself. I have so much love to give because I've got no love left for me. I could not ever love myself, the mere thought alone makes me feel sick, and brings Narcissus to mind, that arrogant prat who fell in love with his own reflection. That could never be me, and I went out of my way to avoid being branded as selfish. It didn't always work out, because people are often unable to distinguish an aspie's struggle to relate to other people from egocentrism.

And that brings me to my next point, how many mental afflictions can one suffer from? Autism, Depression, Emotionally Unstable (Borderline) Personality Disorder, ADHD, Complex PTSD, and heck knows what else?

It's clear somebody as troubled as me has no place in this society. I don't and never will fit in. Every day is different suffering. Nobody can come close to understanding me.

The only person I thought was close gave up on me. Thought I was too negative and bad for Her healing and mental health. She had to put herself first. And I can't blame Her, and neither should you.

I am putting Her first too. And myself last. Because that's how it works. Natural order of things. Love is about sacrifice.

And trust. She once told me I am one of 3-4 people She truly trusts. So to go from this to where we are now, is beyond crushing. It goes to show what a disappointment I am. I scared Her off and that's my fault. I must pay.

It's exactly a year ago when I've had my mental breakdown, self-harmed and tried to overdose on painkillers. This failed to physically kill me, but the aftermath sure killed me emotionally. I was called a liar and manipulator. What She thinks of me is all I care about, other people's views do not hold as much weight, sorry. If that's how I made Her feel, then I must be all these things. A monster.

This year I will do it properly.

I won't let Her down.

If She thinks She is better off without me, the only true way to get rid of me is to kill me.

Don't try to stop me. Would you deny a terminally ill cancer patient euthanasia, would you refuse to put down your suffering sickly pet? This is no different. Sadly humane ending of life is outlawed in this country. In Netherlands a severally mentally ill girl was given a chance to leave in dignity. Sadly I won't, so must take matters into my own hands.

Take responsibility for your actions and words, this is what I'm going to do.

I told my Love I cannot live without Her, and meant it. I also apologised to Her over what I'm going to do, strongly hinting suicide. I will not tell the woman I love the most that I'm going to kill myself, torment Her that way, and then back out of it. No, that's not in my code of conduct. I'm not allowed to break the word I gave to my Love. This is the only way we can both be free. Her, a world without me to haunt Her. And me, not feeling anything anymore after all the suffering I experienced being cut away from Her. I cannot take it anymore.

Whatever potential people claimed I had, would've never been realised anyway. Not in my mental state. Which never truly seems to calm down. There's no way of saving somebody this damaged and scarred.

There's also nobody in this world who could ever take my Love's place. Even mere idea that somebody could ever substitute Her is beyond insulting. There is only one. I don't want anyone else. Anybody else would just be a creepy Poundland clone. I don't settle for second best. There's nobody in this world coming to close to what She is. I'll never find anyone better. Not that I want to, no. I could never be with someone I don't love. And my love, when true, is eternal. And time has shown my feeling did not fade away. Quite the opposite, it got even stronger as I slowly come to terms with what and who I lost.

I'll never forgive myself for letting Her down.

The only right punishment for that is death.

I'm sorry if I've let any others down too. But then again, what to expect. A waste of space was never going to deliver. Trust me, you'll all be better off without me.

Family too. I was the black sheep anyway. Chasing women more than men, something that'd boil most Poles' blood. Clearly something mentally wrong about her if she was so queer. A shame in the family it's best not to talk about. Main purpose of granting a grandchild failed.

And somebody like me shouldn't ever breed anyway. Just imagine! Passing on all the ugliness and defects down! The mental illness!! Imagine suffering from all the stigma. Setting up yet another child for failure just like she was. That's unfair. No child should ever go through with what I have.

So I'll make sure nobody with my genes is brought into this world.

But hey, I am ending my life today.

So smile. It'll be over really soon.

Hopefully is by the time you read it.

And if I failed again, I'll do it again. And again. Until I succeed. There's nothing else left out there for me.

Goodbye.

Welcome to the world without me.

Enjoy

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physicistdyke · 4 years

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Transed his own Gender

Dr. Harold P. Coomer is trans, he's worked his whole academic career to make his body just how he wanted it. Now, at age 46, he finally has an opportunity with his work at Black Mesa to get bottom surgery. But his colleague and friend Dr Bubby, who doesn’t know anything about gender besides the strict hetero-normative and patriarchal culture of STEM, objects to the new and risky procedure while questioning Coomers desires to put his own safety at risk all for a silly gen-dar.

rb >> likes!

Link to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25611880

or read under cut

It was both viciously empowering and crumbled him to the core. He had a power over his own body, rare for the here and now in this space and time. Harold had felt this way many times before, an advantage that should be a right. He could relieve his own suffering, but at what cost? The lingering thoughts would stick with him, latching on like a parasite, a cancer. A hand on his shoulder brought him back into his body, a body he’s worked so hard for. He turned back to see his colleague, stoic in expression. Dr Bubby was not good at expressing emotions in a conventional manner, but other characteristics helped to convey what his face could not. Right now the pressure he was applying with his hand on Coomer’s shoulder mixed with how he avoided eye contact told Coomer that Bubby was afraid. Bubby was afraid for Coomer. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Bubby started. Coomer was about to reply, but Bubby’s own racing mind cut him off. “It’s a very experimental procedure you know, I was reading over the cybernetics reports-“ “Please Bubby,” Coomer turned and looked up at him straight on, he saw worry in his friend’s eyes, “I am fully aware of what I’m doing, I have done just as much research as you.” He said these words with confidence. He didn’t want to hurt his friends feelings more, but sometimes Bubby’s ego got the best of him. Bubby took a step back from the other man, as if the eye contact burned him. Harold was one of the few people Bubby could look in the eyes without that feeling, but now it felt like the island of experience between them was distant. He averted his gaze back to a corner of the room, reconsidering his own words and constructing a sentence most logical for the situation. “I just don’t understand your desire to keep going forward with this, you’re already well respected enough.” *** ____________________________________

This would be Coomer’s first procedure since he had met Bubby. The most recent before that was the operation on his chest, he had snagged that opportunity while working on his post doctorate. That was an experimental procedure at the time too, but Coomer’s endless tap of kindness and intelligence had been able to convince his friends in the medical department and their higher ups that this was an ethically sound decision. Even though Coomer himself never wished to study human anatomy, much preferring engineering and physics to biology, the circumstances of his life pushed him to learn more then he wanted to know. This study began the second he got to college, an unaware and afraid young man, he used his own body as test subject. Mixing concoctions that transformed his body and mind. By the time he was applying for his masters, he was a new man. All the insecurity and anxiousness of his younger years behind him, he now shone like the star he was. From there he made incremental and bolder steps in the process of his transition; first with the top surgery as mentioned before, and now, at the age of 46, he was arranging what would hopefully be his final procedure. Black Mesa did a lot of things, and apparently mechanical prosthetics was now one of them. The new cybernetics department had already made wondrous strides in terms of arms and legs, restoring ability to those in their ranks that needed it. These semi-mechanical, semi-flesh prosthetics fascinated Dr. Coomer to no end. About 8 months ago he had started wandering into the department more often. Finding himself asking passing questions to colleagues, asking questions from a genuine place in the heart. Dr. Coomer was open to talk about his experiences as a trans man, but a majority of his peers were always too uncomfortable to ask. They saw it as an oddity within a good man, he saw it as something that helped make him the good man he was today. The gap in that understanding stung Coomer sometimes, and the feeling of isolation sometimes crept up on him. But his smile and the passion for his studies often helped to bring him away from that space. It was about 2 months ago when he picked out a particular team within the cybernetics department, and started to have more serious conversations with them. From a scientific perspective, everyone involved was enthralled by the prospect. Combine that with Coomer's consistent fascination, confidence, and consent, they were fast approaching a place where action could be taken. _____________________________________

Bubby had noticed his friend's increased absence from their own department. Missing from collaboration meetings, not in his office or nearest break room for their usual chit chat. Coomer was an unlikely but much appreciated friend to Bubby. They had met about 10 years prior, when Bubby was nearly done the process of being titled 'a successful prototype'. Coomer was an unexpected ray of sunshine in Bubby's life. Showing him a kindness and understanding Bubby never had the luxury to live with. Being regarded as a test subject and experiment your whole life does that to you. ____________________________________

Bubby didn't know what being trans meant when Coomer first brought it up with him. Bubby, in reality, didn't even know what gender meant. He had a vague grasp on the fact that gender existed. The knowledge tubes his creators attached to him all those years ago mostly skipped out on all topics of liberal arts, humanity, sociology, etc, except for the most minimum required for him to be a somewhat functioning social life form. But what Dr Bubby lacked in those nuanced interactions and social rules, he well made up for in his ability to observe and form logical conclusions (according to his own account). He was aware of the fact that some people were referred to differently. Out of Black Mesas staff, a small minority were referred to as ‘she’. This group had a tendency to dress different from the rest of the staff, occasionally donning skirts and dresses, and varying from person to person on pigment applied to the face. Bubby viewed these people as his equal (or more so equally below him as the rest of his male co-workers, as he was still an egotistical jerk), but he couldn’t help but notice the trends surrounding this group. Bubby heard the back handed remarks, the passing jokes, the tone of superiority made by some of his male colleagues about the fairer sex. He saw the anxiety in his female colleagues when this attitude approached them. He noted the equal distribution of men to women in the ranks of visiting grad students and post docs, yet the stark lack of women in actual professional roles at Black Mesa. He saw the complacency in nearly all of his male colleagues regarding the generally accepted treatment words the ‘fairer sex’. Nearly all his male colleagues. Coomer and Bubby had been working together for a few years, and a friendship (or the closest thing to that someone could get to with Bubby) had started to really solidify. They were on lunch together, discussing the published panels from a recent convention on nuclear physics. Bubby was particularly fascinated in some newly publish findings on strange Beta decay experiments. He excitedly postulated the possibilities the results could mean for the future of the strong nuclear force. Dr Coomer was as supportive and thoughtful towards his friend as ever, but something else seemed to be occupying his thoughts. “Did you read over the notes from the panel on gender issues in STEM?” Dr. Coomer eventually interrupted when his lingering thoughts became too present. This caught Bubby off guard, but he quickly caught up with his colleagues present state of mind, “I didn’t because I saw it as trivial. I mean, it was a convention on nuclear physics, why waste time with trivial matters of progressing social etiquette?” Coomer furrowed his brow and Bubby realized he had perhaps chosen the wrong words, “Well Professor, if you had spent the time to read, you’d realize it was barely focusing on Progressing social etiquette at all. The man they chose to lead the panel was as backwards thinking about women’s role in science as the Pythagoreans were about irrational numbers.” Bubby shuffled in his chair with slight discomfort, he was never put up to the task of discussing matters like this, “Ah, yes. Well that is a shame. Pretty fucked up too… But I’m sure women will find a way to still contribute valuable findings.” “It’s difficult enough already, I’m sick of this two steps forwards one step back mentality.” Coomer was submerged in his own thoughts, barely acknowledging Bubby’s weak response. “Things have barely changed since my undergrad days. I’m lucky I managed to survive the few years I did in academia being perceived as a woman.” Bubby processed this as neatly and quickly as he could. Gender could be changed. ____________________________________

***“What do you mean by respect, Professor?” Dr. Coomer asked, cooling his own emotions. “You know what I mean, you’re already perceived as a man! You’re no longer are seen as a woman and you’re no longer discriminated against. I admire that you’ve figured out a way to jump the backwards system but-“ he was cut off by Coomer. “Bubby,” Coomer looked at his friend, trying to fathom what the hell had gone wrong in that ‘perfect’ brain of his. He finally gathered his thoughts, “I’m not, trans- because I wanted to be respected. I’m trans because I just am.” Bubby ruminated on his colleagues response, “Well fine, if not for the respect then it’s simply conformity! It makes complete sense Harold, science can be a real dog eat dog world. Anything that makes you separate from the norm is just a weight to be lifted.” “What the actual hell are you talking about professor” a tone of anger and disappointment filled Coomer’s voice, “This is some really problematic thinking you know.” Bubby gave a huff and deepened his gaze to the corner of the room, he mulled over his thoughts and tried to choose his words carefully. As much as he hated to admit it, he really knew very little about gender, but his drive to maintain the upper hand kept him from admitting that. He decided drawing from personal experience was the most logical argument to make, “I mean, that’s why I’m a man. I guess I just always assumed it was the same for you.” Coomer’s look of annoyance turned to one of intrigue, it was rare for Bubby to share his more personal thoughts and feelings. Coomer took this opportunity to prod his colleague, “Is that so Dr Bubby?”, he knew how to get Bubby in a more comfortable mindset, “Then tell me, do you feel like a man?”. “What the fuck is that suppose to mean?” Bubby sneered, “I don’t feel like a man, I just present like one. What the hell does feeling have to do with gender?” Coomer chuckled a little, realizing his friend wasn’t a complete bigot, just an idiot. “I say Dr. Bubby, it looks like your creators really didn’t connect any gender tubes to that brain of yours. Did they tell you the you were a man?” Bubby was feeling increasingly exposed and embarrassed but kept his composure. “Those bastards didn’t tell me anything! At least not directly. I popped out of the tube and they just started calling me ‘he’ and I just rolled with it. I thought that happened to everyone! Until I met you,” Bubby finally returned his gaze to Coomer. Slight tones of confusion, fear, and anger made up his expression, “I could tell that it sucked to be a woman, regardless of their extra freedom of expression with clothes and things like that. So it made sense to me that you changed your presentation to avoid the ridicule.” Coomer enjoyed pressing Bubby’s ‘think deeply about something other than science’ button, but refrained and decided to give some explanation. “Bubby, that really isn’t how gender works in the slightest! I mean for some people they’re content with what ever gender they were assigned at birth, but even then they have some sort of emotional attachment or sense of that gender. And for others, like me, they feel a stronger connection to some other gender and they make what ever adjustments feels right for them. With everyone it can be pretty fluid throughout their lifetimes, but it’s all very personal. What gender do you feel Bubby?” “I don’t feel like any fucking gender! I feel like a scientist, can’t I just be that?” Bubby tapped his foot and rolled the hem of his lab coat between his fingers. He was glad he was talking about this with Harold, but it still felt awkward as hell. “Of course you can Dr. Bubby!” Coomer beamed at his colleagues honesty, “Though I don’t think you could be considered trans though, you were assigned Scientist at Birth™.” Cooper laughed at his own joke, which in turn made Bubby relax and smile a bit himself. Coomer placed a hand on Bubby’s sholder, “Ah, but in all seriousness. It’s completely valid to not be a man or a woman. There are plenty of people like that! And it’s also ok to not have any gender at all! You can feel and express yourself however you want to Bubby, and at least I’ll be here to fully support you. I hope you’re willing to do the same for me.” Bubby looked to the side in a sheepish but calmer way, “Well, of course Harold. I guess I didn’t fully understand how much this meant to you. I’m, um, sorry for speaking over you about this.” A sorry from Bubby was a rare commodity. “It’s alright. You were worried about my well being and I’m grateful for that! You were miss informed and kind of stupid, but I’m glad you were willing to open up and have an honest conversation with me.” Bubby smiled and his gaze was finally able to align with Coomer’s again, the feeling of safety retuned and his anxieties took a back seat. “Well, if it’s alright with you, I’d love to help you and the cybernetics department in your research and development. Learn more about the cutting edge of gender confirming surgery and whatnot.” Coomer beamed at the support, “Ah! I’d be happy to include you in Project Black Mesa Super Shlong 3000! I can grab some of the blueprints we’ve been working on right now!” Coomer left Bubby’s office in an excited hurry and would return shortly. In that time Bubby reflected on the conversation. Not needing to be a man or a woman? Not needing any gender at all? That sounded really nice to Bubby. He still had a lot to learn about life outside of Black Mesa and the apparently fluid rules of gender, but he was glad he Coomer there to fill in the gaps.

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #coomer #dr coomer #bubby #dr bubby #bubby hlvrai #coomer hlvrai #this is a lil silly #Tried not to make it too angsty but also it has a lot of serious talk about gender identity #two fics in one year?#This is a new record #boomer #They're not explicitly dating but I gave their relationship the qualities of a real relationship so #Also don't dead brain come at me thinking I feel how bubby feels about gender #he's literally framed as wrong in his ideas but is shown compassion and capability to grow #like we all are

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orcinus-ocean · 4 years

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I am watching hours worth of ex-vegan “interviews” or testimonials, so you don’t have to.

I link to each one so you can see them for yourself, but I wrote down the important points of each one, since I believe this is not just important, but vital information. This could save people’s lives, if they just stop and think and look at another perspective before they go into it.

These are real people. They really wanted it. They really knew what they were doing. They weren’t “doing it wrong”. These are their experiences.

Ex-Vegan (8 Years): Veganism Is a Teeth Rotting, Muscle Atrophying, Degenerating, Fart Fest

A young man with a lot of health issues including severe eczema, got into veganism to get healthy

He had previously been living the typical “college” lifestyle with lots of fast food, no health-thinking at all

For the first year or two, he felt amazing, he did fine for four years, had a successful YouTube channel talking about skin health and the vegan diet

Emphasizing how “literally obsessed” he was with his dental hygiene and health, four years into veganism, his teeth were deteriorating and every time he visited the dentist, he had to have a root canal, he had cavities, infections, receding gums, always something

He was always bloated with a visibly bloated belly

Despite being a very health-focused athlete, his muscles wouldn’t grow the way they should

His skin started going “grey” and his hair lost its rich color

His memory and ability to focus deteriorated

He completely lost interest in food - everything “disgusting”

Feeling a craving for protein, he upped the high-protein vegan foods, and he only felt worse and worse

After realizing this diet was making him sick, he took one bite of salmon and “it was like taking drugs” - clear, physical reaction to it, and compared to the plants giving bloating and gas, “it felt like I was eating nothing, but I had so much energy”

After going back to eating animal protein (as much wild fish/meat as possible), his weight corrected itself, strength in the gym went “off the charts”

The pain and irritation he had on the vegan diet went away

His gums went from white pink to red, “right away”

Digestion issues - gone, hormonal issues - gone

“Since I’ve been eating animals, I feel more humble and more gentle towards animals, I feel more respect towards them, and I feel like I understand the cycles of life and appreciate life even more”

He says the vegan diet can help people to “clean out the body” as it did for him, but veganism, he doesn’t understand. “If your mom was on her death bed, and she had the choice: Die a horrible, painful death, or eat salmon, you would want your mom to die a horrible death rather than eat salmon. I’m asking this to vegans, and a lot of them are like ‘Under no circumstance would I ever have my mom or anyone I know, eat salmon, because it’s killing an animal, it’s abuse’. And I’m like aren’t humans animals?”

“I view the vegan diet as a disease-reversal protocol, not as a ‘forever diet’.”

Ex-Vegan Family: (6+ Years): "Healthy" Vegan & Vegetarian Dogma Depleted Health and Vitality

Casey vegetarian/vegan for ~15 years

Did it to try to clear up his eczema and staph infections (which were so bad the doctors wanted to amputate his legs), didn't really work

He did feel great for the first few months as a raw vegan, but looking back, he believes it was more due to cutting out grains and processed foods, since he found grains are terrible for him

Lost a lot of weight, rotting teeth, reoccuring cavities

Gina became vegan at the age of 13, being a picky eater and caring about animals

The "readymade" vegan food wasn't doing well for her, so she started eating only raw vegan food

She felt really good - for about six months. After six months, a very severe depression, accompanied by brain fog, lack of mental focus, constant hunger, weight loss and joint pain, kicked in

She believed so hard that this had to be right, that she stayed a vegan for 6 years, before introducing dairy

At the age of 17, after four years on veganism, developed a cancerous tumor on her leg (not necessarily connected, but worth noting)

Five years into veganism she was pregnant, and began craving red meat - they started buying local dairy, meat, liver and eggs

After the baby, she went back to raw veganism, and the joint pain came back, "it's detox"

She instead went back to being vegetarian rather than raw vegan, but she still suffered from worsening joint pain, fatigue, brain fog

A couple of years later, she was pregnant again and she was craving red meat so much she even dreamt about it

Her conclusion was "I must be doing it wrong, I must just eat more of the high-protein vegan food"

For her third pregnancy, she stayed vegan, and the birth was the hardest one she had

The baby had the lowest birth weight of the three, still normal weight, but later, he wasn't gaining weight normally

The child couldn't sit up at six months, couldn't walk at a year old, was depressed, only learned to walk after they gave him meat, and he finally became happy

Then on her fourth pregnancy, she was not vegan for the first half, but went back to raw vegan on the latter half of the pregnancy, and this child was healthy

On raw veganism at the end of the fourth pregnancy, her teeth were "falling apart", her bones were aching, and she was so foggy she couldn't think or remember anything

At the end of her pregnancy, she hadn't gained any weight, just stayed the same

Her teeth were full of cavities, despite having been to the dentist and "fixed everything" just some months prior

They could never manage raw fruit more than six months at a time, constant hunger

They believed the constant hunger could be due to parasites, so they ate anti-parasitic herbs which only made things worse

When she stopped eating vegetables (only fruit?), she got skin rashes as well

When they went back to meat, they felt full for the whole day, while on raw veganism, they had to eat all the time and were still always hungry

At the time of filming, they were completely off veganism for four months and she feels like her brain has "grown", she has energy, can exercise again, is gaining muscle

Ex-Vegan (4 Years): How Veganism Shortened My Lifespan

Started veganism as a New Year’s resolution to turn his life around, after living “like a degenerate”

He started with a month-long juice fast, where he felt great

On the first year as a “whole foods vegan” (mainly raw), he suffered from loss of libido, insomnia, migraines, arthritis, couldn’t build muscle

After a year, he went back to a diet of white rice, lean meat, bone marrow and occasional red meat

This diet immediately got his libido and muscle growth back

After some time, peer pressure made him drop the meat, but he still ate eggs

The vegans around him told him “if you continue to eat meat and dairy, you will not be able to ascend and channel divine guidance”

One of them was a nutritionist, and when he told her veganism destroyed his health, she said that he needs to be on 80/10/10, a fruit-based diet

He stayed on it for five months, and it was “the worst 4-5 months of my life”

He went on another vegan diet, based on sprouts, sea vegetables and algae, and a bunch of supplements

Same problems - lack of libido, insomnia, lack of muscle, migraines, cracking joints

A friend who saw him for the first time in years said “you look like one of those kids in the refugee camps”, because his face was so sunken-in

His friend eventually convinced him to go with him to a steakhouse, and he describes the first bite he took as “the fat going straight into my brain” and he felt “like a dying wolf”

He gorged on 2-3 pounds of fatty meat, slept for twelve hours, and his friends told him he immediatly looked like a completely different person

His cracking joints, dry skin and insomnia went away

Still, he went back to veganism, and all the problems came back

He went back and forth between raw veganism and primal diet every 2-4 weeks, rebuilding on an animal-based diet, deteriorating on a plant-based diet, always thinking “this time I will make it work”

He had to give up aiming for optimum health as a vegan, instead aiming for just “normal stability”

Staying at an old vegan institute managed by one of the creators of his sprouts-algae-supplements diet, doing a colonic, the worker there admitted to him most of them there are not vegan, because they fall apart on it, but go on a primal diet

During the colonic, the worker pushed his liver, and he felt “fire” going down his intestines. What came out was all green, spirulina, algae and other such supplements, which had simply stored in his liver

He speaks a lot about studies on different “uncivilized” peoples around the world, who were all eating high amounts of animal fat, wherever they lived

At the end, he speaks of where veganism might be coming from, and the lie that veganism is good for the environment

His message to vegans is to “quit bothering and harassing people”, and that if you care about animals, go buy cheap land in Arizona and make an animal shelter or something, instead of bullying people who eat meat

Ex-Vegan (2 Years): Vegans Have No Empathy for Humans

Vegetarian for six years, before going vegan

Ate mainly raw vegan, and then her stomach became “an empty, vacant hole”, she was always hungry

Throughout her time on veganism, she was taking lots of supplements

Her skin dried up, she got acne all over her face

She became “emotional and neurotic” and “absolutely insane” from a lack of B12

A lot of talk about the cult mindset in the “vegan community”

Starting to eat eggs again, she felt “a little bit better”, but still felt hungry all the time

Panic attacks over tiny things, anemia, constant diarrhea

Started eating fish, it didn’t help much

She was always hungry but had no appetite, had to force-feed herself

After a particularly bad day, she realized she was risking her life, and ate steak the next day

Eating steak for the first time in years, she felt warmth throughout her body, tingling on her head, and “satiated” for the first time in years, “it changed my life”

Ex-Vegan (12+ Years): Veganism Is Starvation - Fruitarianism Is Suicide

Started in 2002 as a vegetarian for a year before going vegan, became raw vegan from 2009-2011, then went on to fruitarianism until 2015

She says many feel great the first year or so on veganism, because they cut out all the junk from their diet

She had digestive issues prior to becoming vegan, thought it might help, but it only got worse and she got sicker as the years progressed

After six years and only getting sicker, she thought it must be the drugs for her health issues, "I'm doing it wrong", or "my body is wrong"

(They talk about some very interesting "meat and milk causes cancer"-studies four minutes in)

She said the raw vegan years were the worst of her life, that her brain “stopped functioning”. She became "permanently psychotic", she "saw hell" and heard voices - conclusion: "oh, it's detox"

When she stopped veganism in 2015, she had a test done on her hair. They said they had never seen that much heavy metal in someone's hair before

She had been doing nothing but "cleansing" and "detoxing" for the past five years, and she was "the most toxic, sick person you'll ever meet"

She was “literally dying” towards the end, freezing cold all the time, her bones hurt so much she couldn't lay on a hard surface

She couldn't digest anything but fruit anymore, it took two years of quitting raw veganism until the point where she could digest vegetables and meat again

Her teeth had to be all "redone", because they were rotten to the roots, her hair was falling out

She was told that on this fruitarian diet, it will feel like hell for 2-3 years, because of the "detox", then they will feel great, like godlike beings

But since 2-3 years passed and people still felt awful, their "leader" changed that to "people are so sick today, the detox will take 5-6 years!"

This also didn't happen, people stuck for 5-6 years and only got sicker, so the story changed to "7-8 years, then you will feel great!"

Her comment: "You can't be a herbivore and be healthy. If you want to have a life of mental illness and an early death and degeneration, go be vegan."

Many of these people have also spoken of how many well-known names in the vegan/raw/fruitarian communities (from YouTubers to authors) are known “cheaters” who eat meat frequently in order to stay healthy, while lying to their audiences and telling them to stay vegan.

These were only five. I will do more of these posts, to keep them at a readable length.

#vegans #veganism #raw vegan #plant based #ex vegan #anti vegan #fruitarianism #vegan health

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

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Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost 2 Electric Boogaloo

Previous Post: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost

-Bdubs is slowly going feral because he has the virus, it just doesn't show itself physically.

-Cub was tempted to purposefully get the virus to try and help find a cure, (they probably don't have lab rats given the circumstances,) by Scar talked him out of it.

-The timeline of events with DocM is that he started in the NHO group, they ended up dispersing (Etho turned and then left to ensure the safety of his friends, Beef ended up going separate due to Doc and Bdubs' constant fighting and Bdubs stormed off after an argument.) He ends up getting taken in by TFC, (he's the first to arrive,) and eventually captures Rendog.

-Stressmonster and Iskall originally lived in a cabin in the mountains. After Iskall got swept away in a snow storm and Joe and Cleo stopped by, Stress had no idea there was a Zombie outbreak.

-Hypnotizd and XB ended up trespassing in Jevin's property and Jevin shot Hypno. XB pleaded to Jevin that they weren't zombies and to not hurt them further and Jevin begrudgingly went, 'okay, fine. You aren't taking my food though.'

-Impulse's weapon of choice was a shovel.

-Grian can't fly in this AU. Let's be real, if he could, it would be pretty OP.

-Keralis most definetly gave a larger share of his rations to Xisuma while he was sick.

-TangoTek entirely blames himself for Impulse leaving and Zedaph getting bit. He feels especially conflicted because he wants to leave because he's convinced they both hate him and blame him but he can't because 'what if they go looking for him?' 'What if someone worse comes from that?'

-The location of Etho's bite is right on the front of the neck. He actually passed out from blood loss initially and he very nearly died. (Luckily for him the zombie didn't pull away, ripping out anything important (like a windpipe of an oesophagus,) giving Doc time to carefully unhinge the zombie's jaw and save Etho.) Nobody was quite sure how Etho was even alive with a big chunk out of his neck until he started displaying some strange behaviour.

-False is usually the one who stays up late to stand guard and protect her group.

-Mumbo accidentally caught Hypno in one of his traps at one point but let him go.

-Hay here’s a dumb idea, The reason ren is immune to the zombie virus is because he has like an anti-zombie virus in his body it behaves just like a normal zombie virus but it doesn’t turn you into a zombie, so how the hermits turn the zombie hermits human again is by making ren bite them.

-I have an angst ending and a no-angst ending so first here's the not-angst one: Doc and Ren team up with Cub and Scar to make a cure (so Ren doesn't have to bite everyone personally). They travel around finding every bitten survivor and salvageable zombie they can, using the weapons and resources from the NHO for protection. They find ways of producing and distributing enough cure for everyone, and during that process all of the Hermits decide to stay friends and in touch afterward.

-For the Zombie AU, if Scar doesn't already have like a different role in this au, he could've possibly been the first human infected because *someone's* pet cat ate a weird looking mouse and bit their owner.

-This is very angsty and gory, so fair warning: How fast does the virus spread through the body from the bite? If slow, you can cut the bitten part off before it spreads out through the body. To doc having a robot arm, what if he got bit and out of fear, they amputated his arm to stop the spread. I know y'all probably don't wanna go with body horror, but that's something to consider in this AU.

-Lowkey I feel zombie Etho doesnt do justice to his epic PVP skillz, but!! I do see Etho to be something SIMILAR to it! Idk if you've ever played Telltale's The Walking Dead game, but Etho could a zombie whisperer, a human who wears zombie skin and lives amongst the zombies for protection. So when Etho got bit, they THOUGHt he turned but actually just decided, hey I live here now and just vibin.

-You know how ren being a werewolf is popular in the fandom(from what I've seen) maybe that's why is immune to being a zombie and getting bitten by him if your infected cures it because the zombie infection and werewolf infection cancel eachother out.

-A more jokey Zombie!Au thing: The first episode of Llamas with hats but it's Zombie!Etho and Beef.

-I feel like if Wels could get to some of his friends he would try his hardest to protect them and if he ever managed to get bit it would be to save someone else.

-There is just always so much angst potential in any scenario or AU where it involves the possibility of Wels sacrificing himself in some way to protect his friends from something poor bb 😔

-Would infected hermits be able to like recognize people after the infection zombified them or whatever it is? Because if so oh my god imagine the angst.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely anons!)

-About the anti-zombie Ren bite thing: Doc has the idea suddenly in the middle of an argument so the conversation goes a little like this:

Ren: "So what I'm trying to say, my dude, is that would never work because -"

Doc: "Ren. Bite me."

Ren: "Oh yeah, real mature way to end a disagreement there -"

Doc: *facepalming* "No, Ren, I mean actually.... Just do it, I'll explain later."

-Angst ending: They could never produce enough cure to stem the tide of undeath. They all choose to band together and take shelter underground, hoping to wait it out. They use X's tunnel, but that many people that close together smells irresistible to a horde. The zombies flood after them into the tunnel. X says he'll buy them some time, even though he is terrified. He collapses the tunnel on himself and the zombies so the others can escape. His last thought: At least I get to die as myself.

-Thinking about Etho's bite location (you said it was on his neck): Most bites are on the shoulder or leg (bit from behind while running away) or on the arm (bit while raised to defend). To be bitten on the neck he would have to have his arms and shoulders lowered. Etho, being a good fighter, would have only done this if it was absolutely necessary. Conclusion: he was bitten with his arms stretched out to protect someone behind him, and he knew the consequence that his choice would have.

-(@shadeswiftdraws.)

-The NHO are all strangely dressed (Etho is kakashi, Doc is green, Bdubs has a bandana,) because they were all at a cosplay convention. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-When Etho left The nHo, he brings a Journal with him. Every Night he'll write a Journal entry. He'll write just about anything, there even some random lyrics and some pretty flowers he pick up along his travels. But as the Journal goes on, the words slowly became wobbly. Inconsistent. until finally, Unreadable chicken skrach. His final (at least readable) entry is: "-I hoPE yoU GUyZ ArE DoInG bETThEr ThAn I Am" As some point in time, Etho lost his Journal and Joe hills found it.

-Speaking of Joe Hill, he made it his personal mission to collect every literature and entertament media he can possibly carry on him. From Dnd Book, poetry, Documentary DVD's, to random journal He think would be usefull. Stress is happy to help Joe but Cleo is a little annoyed because it's will only slow them down, but Joe Argued that "If there's no knowledge left, then what will the future be? Just staying alive and surviving?" Cleo begrudgingly agrees.

-I can totally see Joe and Cleo Rocking an actual Sword and Dnd Cosplay (Joe got is a gift while Cleo Commissions her's after seeing Joe whip out his sword one time in a one shot DnD session) they keep the swords, but they ditch the Costume pretty early on tho.

-Mumbo's next Job Interview would be schedule at Concorp. But then the Zombie apocalypse happened on his way there.

(-@tearosepedall.)

-I don’t want this au to end but here’s my take: most of them get to the bunker where they don’t develop a cure, but do create a vaccine. Occasionally they will venture out to hand out the vaccine to survivors. Still, they all decide to stay into stay together. But because they were unable to develop a cure, even though they really try, there are some how have been lost such as etho, zed, and mumbo. Still the rest of them morn and try their best to survive without modern society. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618587883366957056/tw-very-brief-mention-of-vomit-general-warnings (-@carpe-shovelem.)

-Funny/happy ending to the Zombie AU: The hermits set up a zombie funneling system where the ones that didn't die from infection get bit by Ren to get turned back and they return the dead and give them proper burials. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-I just remembered the thought post with Tuartis sleeping through things, Bdubs sleeping through the apocalypse, but now we've got Wels on the sleep team too! Wonder if he'd have slept through the apocalypse as well... (-@853dragons.)

TW: Mentions of dead animals:

I've got one last bit for the zombie au, it ties into my parasite one: With the rumors that the outbreak started in the Convex cancer research facility, and Scar feeling guilt because he Should Have Been Able To Stop This... It really was their fault. As a company. It wasn't intentional, of course, but Convex created the parasite. It was during research into a cure for certain conditions that are notoriously risky/impossible to perform surgery on, like brain tumors or lukemia-type cancer. The hope was to utilize the parasites as something that could harmlessly go in, eat or destroy all the cancerous cells, then die off, leaving a perfectly healthy human. The research project was abandoned after a several years, when every single attempt ended with either dead or, in later years, extremely sickly rats. Although the final round seemed promising, the rats weren't showing obvious signs of a decline in health after two weeks, Convex was convinced to just give it up and that the utilization of parasitic worms was asking for more trouble than it was worth. Plus, PETA was getting dangerous with their choices in protest against the tests, which was the main reason it was called off. Cub and the board of directors didn't want to risk bodily harm to their researchers, and it truly was getting so beyond ridiculous that a few bodyguards weren't enough protection.

Some researchers took some of the test rats home as pets, including our Patient Zero, because they really were quite cute. Patient Zero got bit by his rat, and nobody really thought anything of it for a couple weeks until his behavior took a bad turn. He was picking fights and throwing verbal abuse, and no amount of warnings and write-ups were giving any hint of stopping him. It all finally resulted in him viciously biting fellow labworkers, which sent two of them and himself to the ER. Upon arrival he had to be restrained and isolated lest he bite more people. He was fired from the company, his bodyguards pulled, but Scar had been friends and continued to visit him regularly, wondering where the change had come from, and saddened by his old friend's obvious decline in health. Nurses told him he was refusing to eat or drink, and too violent to reason with nor release to anywhere but the police or psychiatric hospital. Soon, there were more reports of uncharacteristicly aggressive actions from PZ's victims. And from there.... Well, it's your choice where the story goes, but it didn't take long for Scar to put the puzzle together.

-(@basaltdragon.)

More to be added!

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a-student-out-of-time · 4 years

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Speedwagon: Time for a backstory expedition dump!

I was born in Wakkanai, all the way up in Hokkaido, but my mother and I left when I was a kid and we moved to Tokyo.

Mom was a veterinarian, and a damn good one at that. She had this habit of driving around town, looking for all the stray animals she could and treating them. She never let anything slow her down.

And seeing the animals, all the different ways she treat them- for diseases, for parasites, whatever it was that was ailing them- I always found it fascinating. I’d never seen so many different dog breeds before then, and I was amazed that they were all the same species. That’s when I started looking into biology.

By the time I was 10, I was reading college textbooks on the subject. I learned there were a lot of experiments you could do. Seeing everything from cellular mitosis to neurogenesis, it made me curious to see what I could. And, in what was admittedly not my best idea, I decided to start working with one of the animals in her care.

You were doing experiments when you were that young?

Yeah. After I read about Dolly the Sheep, I decided to start by trying to clone an animal myself. In this case, I started with a rabbit.

And I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging, but I think I was the first to notice the effectiveness of the Cas9 protein used by bacteria. It’s what they use to remove viral RNA and DNA from their genome, but you can also use it for basically anything you want.

So I ended up making a healthy copy of the adult rabbit. I was kinda scared Mom would get upset, and she was a little peeved at me for it, but she was also impressed. I also promised, since I made the cloned bunny, I’d be the one to take care of him, which I did. He lived the normal lifespan of a rabbit too. No abnormalities, no disease, nothing to make him seem distinct from his genetic parent.

Wow...that’s pretty cool.

So I kept doing experiments in my free time during elementary and middle school. And when I heard that a science fair was coming up during my last year, I decided I’d enter one of my biggest creations yet. It took weeks of finding and gathering enough genetic sequences to manage it, but I completed it in time.

I made a hybrid fruit tree, one that grew apples, bananas, peaches, and cherries, along with an accelerant that let it grow faster. After that, I received my acceptance letter to Hope’s Peak.

While I was there, I decided what I wanted to study next were diseases. Specifically, human genetic mutations. That’s when I got to work eliminating everything from Cystic Fibrosis to Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.

Fibro-whaty-what?

It was a disorder of the muscular system where, instead of repairing any tears in the muscle tissue with more muscle cells, the body replaced it with bone. It gradually froze your muscles solid until you couldn’t move, eat, or even breathe.

Not anymore though. That and 107 other disorders, gone. Millions of people living better, healthier lives.

Of course...you all know what else I got involved in.

I’m sorry for asking, but...does your mom know?

...Mom died about two years ago.

Oh...I-I’m sorry.

It’s okay. I said she worked even when she was sick, right? Well...she was ignoring the symptoms of an aggressive form of brain cancer all that time I was in Hope’s Peak. I didn’t even find out until she was hospitalized for it. And even with all my talent...I couldn’t help her.

But that also means I’m on my own, so I can help you all whenever you need me.

So...you don’t have any other family?

I have a grandfather, aunt, and cousin, but...none of them are pleasant to be around. Umeko-san told you all that I’m half-Korean, right? Well, that was why Mom and I left. The three of them are ultranationalists who...they didn’t even see me as family.

I don’t know who my father is. Mom took a trip to China during college and met a Korean man. That’s all I really know. Kids in middle school weren’t all that much kinder to me about it either, but then I was just one of the kids that got bullied there.

And you had to deal with that Storm guy too, right? I’m sorry you’ve had it so rough.

It’s alright. If anything, it’s made me more determined to help people.

And I guess now you can see why I sympathized with Monaca-chan.

#danganronpa #sdr2 #danganronpa 2 #sdra2 #super danganronpa another 2 #kyoji nakamura #emma magorobi #hibiki otonokoji #chiaki nanami #a student out of time #DR #hide and seek arc #Anonymous

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theexleynatureblog · 3 years

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Time to talk Vaccines

I will start off with a bias - I am not anti-vax. Why? Because I come from a science background - more ecology and behavior than biochemistry - so I have a lot of exposure to ‘sciency’ stuff. I am no expert - in fact I barely passed college introductory chemistry with a B - but as sick and tired of I am of listening to anti-vax propaganda everywhere online (and it’s rising importance to modern events) I have to put in my two cents. If y’all won’t listen to over a thousand different scientists with varying degrees and levels of experience, maybe you’ll listen to a cranky college kid who can give you the scoop in plan English.

History of vaccines gives a good, in-depth lessons about where vaccines first came from - if your interested in that aspect. In summary, it covers ancient variants of vaccines, up to Edward Jenner’s 1796 cowpox vaccine, and continued development through the 1930′s. **Penicillin may be the most popular product, but it is used against dangerous bacteria, not virus’. More information here.**

To start off simply: what is a virus? Personally, I like to think about them as tiny robots - lifelike but not living. This question is actually a hot-topic debated by the science community, because we can’t agree on whether or not they are even living. This article from 2008 seems to cover the debate pretty well. Viruses are smaller, and in terms of what they’re made of and how they work, simpler than cells.

This picture gives a good idea of sizes. Note that everything in this picture is microscopic, and cannot be seen with the naked eye. This photo is computer-generated based on information from what we’ve seen in microscopes. Corona-virus is the dark blue circle second from the left. On the far right is what’s probably a typical animal cell. The blue bean thing next to Coronavirus is a bacteria, which are living things and operate differently than viruses, though some bacteria can make people sick. Check out this article for more info on bacteria.

So viruses are smaller than cells, they are also built different. Simply put, viruses are a case of protein with a string of DNA inside. Off the bat, this sounds really similar to bacteria, but there’s one major difference: bacteria can duplicate themselves and viruses cannot. The politically correct term is ‘binary fission’, a kind of asexual reproduction that is basically an organism copying all it’s DNA, splitting the two strains apart, and then stretching everything else into two separate things. I won’t go into all the complex terms and functions (you can read about it more here). All you need to understand is it is a complex possess that requires machinery that virus’ don’t have. So how do virus’ reproduce? They sneak into other cells and hijack their machinery to produce more viruses.

Because viruses and cells have been living together since life began on this planet billions of years ago, cells have developed forms of protection (from viruses and bacteria). A ‘lock’, basically all across the cell surface. So in order for viruses to continue, they needed to develop a ‘key’. This is why viruses have a host of different shapes. Coronavirus is named after the crown-like spikes, which are proteins that help invade a living cell. Read more about how viruses invade cells here.

Phew! That was a lot, and we haven’t even gotten into vaccine’s yet! That’s because in order to understand vaccines, you have to have some understanding of the thing they are built to fight. The question becomes: If a virus is considered not living, how do you fight it? How do you kill something that’s not alive?

The most obvious answer is just taking it apart. A virus can’t do it’s thing if it’s broken down into single elements. But, as we discussed earlier, viruses are super small. We can barely see them in microscopes (we have to use a super microscope called an Electron microscopes). There’s no physically possible or safe way to crush up/rip apart a virus. Using radiation, water, or fire isn’t practical either. Sure - fire will destroy anything, but you can’t light up a 5-year-old with the flu. Techniques of disassembling viruses are currently being studied, but we still have a lot to learn.

So, if we can’t break it apart, the only thing we can do is stop it from spreading. This is basically how our immune system works. If a cell is infected, it will send a piece of the viral protein, to another cell: T-cells. T-cells are cells of the immune system. One type of immune system cell will send a toxin to kill the infected cell, trapping the virus inside and preventing spread. If the toxin doesn’t kill the cell, the rapid replication of the virus will eventually cause it to burst. (Imagine a chicken egg with a thousand chicks falling out). The downside of this is if the virus spreads to fast, and hits important places like the lungs, and a lot of important cells die... whelp, the fight is over. Unlike most parasites that depend on their hosts to be alive and collect nutrients for them, viruses are more reckless - it doesn't’ matter how many cells die as long as the virus keeps spreading.

The other immune defense systems are via interferon and (more commonly known) antibodies. Interferon's work inside a host cell to stop a virus from hijacking a cell’s DNA replication machines while also alerting immune cells to an infection. Antibodies fight against viruses that have not yet entered a cell. Remember back to the ‘lock’ and ‘key’ thing? Here’s where it comes to play! Antibodies stick to the protein of viruses by matching the ‘key’ shapes. If you stick a wad of gum onto you house key, it won’t be able to fit in the lock, and you can’t get into your house. It’s basically the same thing. Antibodies can also make viruses stick together - making them easier to destroy, and also can send a signal to a cell to engulf and destroy a virus.

The reaaaaaaallllllly cool part is that antibodies can ‘remember what viruses look like’. Antibodies hold onto little bits of the virus - proteins - so they can recognize another infection. (Link) Naturally, whenever we are infected, we produce antibodies for that specific virus/bacteria, however - they only work if A) we survive the initial infection, and B) if we keep getting infected by that specific strain/type of virus. Viruses come in all kinds of shapes and chemical makeups. Even them, groups of viruses within the same ‘species’ can have unique kinds of protein. This is why you need to get a flu shot every year - the shot isn’t for ‘the flue’, it is for the current strain of the flu spreading. (Article from UAB Medicine).

In order to fight viruses, we need to keep our immune system healthy and produce antibodies. In olden days, the way we produced antibodies was by getting infected and working up herd immunity (healthy individuals with antibodies prevent the spread of a disease to those without immunity). The problem with this is: it doesn’t always work. Nature in our world is build on the process of one force creating a wall and an opposing force finding a new way to break it (think Jurassic Park’s life will find a way). As long a pathway exists, a virus will find a way to use it. Herd immunity also works by selecting and removing the weakest links in the group - individuals who cannot fight an infection well die and stop spreading the virus. It works in nature, but in terms of human civilization - it’s not very nice. It is also unbiased, in the natural world. Wild animals have an equal opportunity to be healthy enough to fight an infection - besides those with genetic issues. We should all be painfully aware that human civilization no longer operates on this fair playing field. Only those with a good social and economic standing have the opportunity to be healthy enough. Remember this before you argue ‘herd immunity’.

All this in mind, vaccines are the last reasonable option. According to the CDC, a vaccine consists of a weakened virus or part of a virus introduced to the body so it can produce antibodies. That’s it. Seems like a really cleaver idea, don’t it?

But hang on: you got sick after taking a vaccine? If your symptoms are runny nose/coughing, good news! That’s not the vaccine - it’s you. (CDC article on why vaccine are safer than exposure) After detecting an infection (even if its not a active virus) the immune system releases histamine, which causes inflamed blood veins and access mucus - sneezing. This can discharge virons, but also used by them to spread to a new host. Some symptoms, like a wet cough, are caused by a viral infection. Fever’s are another example of a immune response, not directly caused by a virus. It’s our brain trying to cook and break apart the proteins of the virus.

The hot topic about vaccines is they are full of scary chemicals that people don’t want to have injected into them. So lets take a closer look at one example, the influenza vaccine.

Formaldehyde - yikes! Scary sounding for sure - formaldehyde is well known for being used in embalming, and linked to cancer. What is less know is it is also an essential building block in lots of items, like building and construction, personal care and consumer products, and automobile manufacturing. The following picture is the chemical molecule.

It is a simply enough molecule made of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. Formaldehyde naturally occurs in the environment, as most living things produce it as part of the metabolic processes (breaking down and absorbing food). At room temperature, formaldehyde is a gas that can be dangerous to inhale in large amounts. When it comes to vaccines, the purpose of formaldehyde is to deactivate the virus - so it doesn’t actually start infecting cells. In small amounts like this, it is harmless. Personally, I’d be more worried about the gaseous forms.

Aluminum Salts - these include hydroxide and phosphate. The purpose of these chemicals in vaccines is to help the body activate it’s immune response. hydroxide is basically any molecule with hydrogen and oxygen - example, water, and hydrogen dioxide. (What makes molecules dangerous is not necessarily their elements, it is how they are connected). Once again, these are present in amounts too small to be harmful both short and long term.

Thimerosal - This is the ingredient that has anti-vaxxer’s shouting “Oh no theirs mercury!” but that’s not completely true. Since the 1930′s, it has been used in a wide variety of products. It’s purpose is to prevent contamination of the product (vaccine) by bacteria and fungi. Without it, vaccines run the risk of exposing patients to a serious infection. It’s not even used in every vaccine - only ones that require multiple doses, the ones that are at the highest risk of contamination. Thimerosal comes from an inorganic form of mercury called ethylmercury, which is different than other forms of mercury as it does not remain in the body long enough to cause damage. ALSO: this is not the same compound as methylmercury, a toxic compound found in fish due to pollution.

Chicken Egg proteins - Egg proteins are used to grow a virus before it is put into a vaccine. The virus and the proteins are separated, but there is risk of chicken proteins still being in the vaccine - bad news for people with allergies. This is why it’s important to discuss any allergies with your doctor. Exposure of this protein to people with allergies has not been documented as fatal, but still must be carefully monitored. Luckily, egg-free versions do exist.

Gelatin - this material acts as a stabilizer, keeping the vaccine effective as it enters the body. It protects the vaccine from effects of heat, and freeze drying. Most vaccines use pork-based gelatin, which means people with severe pork allergies should discuss more options with their doctors.

Antibiotics - antibiotics in vaccines work with Thimerosal to prevent the growth of dangerous bacteria. The antibiotics involved are not allergy-risks, and used in lots of other lotions and ointments.

So, there is one example. Dealing with stuff that we don’t know or don’t fully understand can be combated by simple research. If you are concerned about the ingredients in a certain vaccine, do some research! Remember - it’s not always what chemicals, but what form they are in.

#vaccines #anti-vaccination #science #medicine #anti vaxxer

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dustedmagazine · 4 years

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Punk’d History, Vol. VII: Sick Tunes*

In 1977, when punk rock was coming to the attention of institutional politics and mass media, the music and its culture were frequently compared to illness. In an infamously priggish rant about the Sex Pistols, English MP Bernard Brook Partridge used the word “nauseating” three times in forty seconds. Even the tentatively friendly coverage the Pistols were getting in some venues in the American musical press was informed by the comparison. In October of 1977, a Rolling Stone cover story declaimed, “Rock Is Sick and Living in London.” Charles M. Young, the cover story’s author, insistently characterizes the Pistols and their punky kin as suffering the effects of some sort of physical malady. When he meets Paul Cook, he notes that Cook’s “skin [is] pallid” and “his hand is limp.” Malcolm McLaren has “a pale face”; his assistants at the Sex Pistols’ Piccadilly Circus office space “are also dingy and gray.” Young’s description of Johnny Rotten is spectacularly rife with the imagery of disease: “All misshapen, hunchbacked, translucently pale…the vilest geezer [Young has] ever met.” Rotten is a “sickly dwarf.”

It’s not surprising that music so rigorously focused on negation should be at least metaphorically associated with illness and decline. By now it amounts to obviousness to note that the mid-1970s Anglo-American historical milieu (during which punk suddenly became fodder for political hysteria and journalistic hyperventilating) was not especially possessed of health or vigor. In England and in the States, multiple economic recessions, seemingly countless governmental scandals and failures and a general sense of social malaise constituted the dominant structure of feeling and informed the cultural environment. But punk wasn’t only subject to comparisons to disease. Punk songs were also deploying the imagery and concept of sickness to effect a variety of responses to their times. Sickness became a symbolic weapon.

Few bands were more fascinated and freaked out by weaponized sickness than Dead Kennedys. “Chemical Warfare” was a mainstay in the band’s live set from its formation in the late 1970s. The song’s focus on militarized and terroristic applications of bioweaponry was exemplary of Dead Kennedys’ deep-seated dread for dark perversions of scientific research and the medical rationality of the clinic. “Chemical Warfare” seeks some satiric recompense: its demented lyric speaker raids an armory and unleashes mustard gas on a fairway “full of Saturday golfers”; the tune acquires an even more vicious, antic charge when East Bay Ray plucks out “Sobre Las Olas” as the gas wafts toward “The stuffed country club / Effervescent ladies, so carefree….” The bitter, sardonic humor is characteristic of Biafra’s desire to invoke violence, even as he ironically distances himself from it. From such a distance, one can more broadly claim just desserts: Who better to suffer from the effects of such insidious illness than those who have benefited from the weaponry’s production?

More frequently, Biafra would assume the guise of a corrupt apparatchik or evil undercover agent, doling out disease-laden punishment to enemies of the State and brainwashed rubes alike: see his speaker’s command to “Die on organic poison gas” in “California Uber Alles” (“organic” is a key element there); or “Trust Your Mechanic,” which observes, “TV invents a disease you think you have / So you buy our drugs and soon you depend on them.” Biafra gives those various anxieties a song-length treatment in one of the band’s most truculent recordings.

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The buzzy, muscular opening riff of “Government Flu” is as close to crossover metal as Dead Kennedys ever got, and the rest of the song is suitably breathless, matching the song’s descriptions of sickness. The band plays with razoring precision, a zippy sprint, as Biafra barks, “Got a head cold, got a chest cold, and it’s three days old / Goin’ on forever / Make you hazy, make you lazy, drive you crazy / For days ‘n days ‘n days ‘n days ‘n days and years!” Yikes. A dire prescription. But Biafra’s technocratic voice assures us that it’s all for a good cause: “Slip it abroad / Keep a-slowin’ down the USSR!”

The lyrics’ conspiratorial extremities oddly presage some of the crankier contemporary commentary on coronavirus. On March 13th, Jerry Falwell, Jr., joined the jolly morons on Fox and Friends and winked-and-nodded his way through a typically paranoid routine, speculating that North Korea and China had cooked up and loosed COVID-19 on the world in a plot to bring down the Trump presidency. There’s a weird symmetry to the way Falwell, Jr., and Biafra follow their visions out to geopolitical scales, especially given the frequency with which Falwell’s father was a target of Biafra’s wrath. History is always stranger than fiction.

California’s punk history runs wide and deep, and numerous hardcore and crust bands further explored the symbolic and political ramifications of Biafra’s fixations. Bay Area band Christ on Parade’s first EP, Sounds of Nature (1985), featured “The Plague,” a song that associated humanity’s presence on the earthball with biological malignancy: “Civilization’s a cancer… / People are only mindless cells / Spreading a terminal disease.” Band member Noah Landis would eventually move on to join Oakland heavies Neurosis, whose first LP Pain of Mind (1987) included the grimly titled instrumental “Geneticide” and a song called “Self-Taught Infection”: Scott Kelly sings, “Our world’s a disease / The germ is us.” A few years later, and some miles farther south in Orange County, crust band Dystopia added to the chorus on its excellent EP The Aftermath (1999).

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“Population Birth Control” delivers an apocalyptic elaboration of the symbols and themes: “Malignant cancer of the ecosystem / Gnawing at a mother / Children she loves / Cankered womb and body.” As the song progresses, the metaphors clarify: the “mother” is the earth, her “children” are humans and humans are a cancer. The song grinds and crawls and pummels away, like the machinery and industries it excoriates. Dino Sommese howls, “The tumors feed and grow / All the land turns to stone / Biodiversity reduced / From a parasite’s abuse.”

Of course, punk and crust bands didn’t invent these rhetorics and discursive maneuvers. Any number of SF novels—from Huxley’s Brave New World to Walter Miller’s A Canticle for Leibowitz to John Brunner’s excellent The Sheep Look Up—have inventoried, gamed out and riffed on human technologies run amuck and their production of profound ecological collapse. But we should note that crust punks who are serious about their crustiness have always been an earnest bunch. They don’t just produce art; they live it, inhabiting real, material austerities: squatting, assiduously following a vegan diet, releasing music outside of capital’s mainstream markets for exchange. Even the more performative elements of the subculture that other folks might label with the awful term “lifestyle” have material consequences for consumption: not bathing frequently, wearing the same denim and leather for weeks on end, dreadlocks.

Soon after releasing the EP version of The Aftermath, the crusty boys in Dystopia would record a cover of Rudimentary Peni’s “Cosmetic Plague.” Much of Rudimentary Peni’s work can be thought of as an extended meditation on social alienation and psychological illness, and it’s all pretty brilliant. But a number of bands active in the English anarcho-punk scene that Rudimentary Peni drifted through engaged with disease in a more politically materialist fashion.

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“Myxomatosis” concerns a disease caused by a pox virus, which proves particularly devastating to various European species of wild rabbit. In the 1950s numerous national governments intentionally introduced the virus into their populations of European rabbits to curb species proliferation. Like many of their fellow anarcho-punks, Flux of Pink Indians were strident advocates for animal rights. The band was disgusted by the deliberate spread of the virus; they saw it as exemplary of Western modernity’s insatiable desire to control nature, to impose destructive forms of human will upon other critters: “Experimentation, vivisection, devastation, starvation, torture, war / All mindless slaughter are basically the same / Manmade oppression, manmade pain.” Perhaps the most effective refrain in the song is “Oppression stinks” (and “Myxomatosis” isn’t the first song in which Flux of Pink Indians focused on a corrosive smell). Oppression signifies the idea of a coercive, politically motivated behavior. The term necessarily abstracts, a cognitive action that helpfully sets parameters for a general category; less helpfully, the abstraction operates at a distance from the lived reality—frequently a violent reality—of the behavior itself. “Stinks” is a powerfully organic term. It invokes the piles of bunnies, riddled with pox and writhing, dying and rotting. It vivifies our awareness of the full force of oppression, of how it impinges on and damages and debilitates bodies. It’s horrific.

Another 1980s English anarcho-punk band, Subhumans, recorded numerous similarly themed songs: “Us Fish Must Swim Together,” “Pigman,” “Evolution.” But more relevant are the band’s songs that address illness. “Germ” is a song from the Evolution EP; Dick Lucas sings, “I play with your health, I destroy all there is / I’m the germ in your mouth when you give her a kiss!” He almost cackles with glee—it’s a typical punky demolition of conventionally saccharine sentimentalization of bodily experience. The song’s skepticism about the efficacy of “the National Health” indicates the band’s ideological opposition to government and institutionally dictated forms of normativity. In the spring of 2020, it’s hard to hear that skepticism clearly, when we are in dire need of nationally and internationally coordinated responses to massive public health crisis.

A glib response (powered by an impoverished notion of anarchism, all too common in some reactionary punks’ selfish appropriations of the term) to that need might be some version of “reap the whirlwind.” To briefly give that perspective an airing: late capital’s systems of production have indeed propagated uneven development and ever more efficient global interlinkage, as well as industrially scaled agriculture and fossil fuels consumption, all of which have issued in world systems and climatological conditions ripe for pandemic. The less glibly observed fact must be that many of the people who will suffer the effects of COVID-19 have not benefited from the operations of late capital. They suffered them, and they will suffer more.

Subhumans address those issues with greater complexity on Worlds Apart (1985), one of the best punk records of the 1980s. “Someone Is Lying” revisits themes and symbols that are familiar by this point: careless manufacturing of toxic, hazardous substances; the substances’ escape into the lifeworld; the working class’s disproportional immiseration, both by the mode of production and the diseases that spring from it. The crisp, brisk riff underscores the song’s growing anxiety. More stirring is Dick’s vocal performance in the song’s closing minutes. He repeats, ad nauseum, “These people are dying! / Someone is lying!” The band swirls behind him with growing intensity. People are dying. Someone is lying. In 2020, the scenario has loosed itself from the song and infected our reality. To be sure, the Real is stranger than fiction. Throughout the winter and spring, institutional powers worldwide have lied and obfuscated, always in rank self-interest, in ruthless effort to maintain their grip on power. It is sick, diseased, repugnant. And the lies grow from and exacerbate deep social problems.

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In England, in 1985, the song’s phrases gestured toward specifically English ideas, with specifically English resonances: “inbred snobbery,” “wipe out the ghetto,” “the civilized nation.” It seems that we are no longer worlds apart; Dick sings about a “British Disease,” but America in 2020 suffers strikingly similar symptoms. At the song’s crescendo, when Dick is diagnosing the illness, he shouts, “Ignorance is your disease! / Ignorance and apathy! / Ignorance and bigotry!” That turns out to be an apt depiction of a significant portion of the American citizenry, credulous boosters of a “PATRIOT law” (my caps), idiotically basking under the glow of fluorescents on the floor of Target or Whole Foods, whining about an unbelievable access to plenitude: “What? No fresh jicama!” It’s easier to bask and whine than it is to consider all of the crushing injustice and violence that have made that plenitude possible. Or to live in a way that struggles to fashion an ethical response.

Some folks are more vulnerable. They have no choice but to become intimate with those crushing forces. Try walking out into the Target parking lot and adjusting your vision. You’ll likely find a car somewhere along the fringes, its driver gorked out, needle hanging from a vein. Another victim of the American disease, another person in malignant, soul-destroying pain, trying to self-medicate. You’ll walk past, plastic bags bulging. “You thought this country was so great.”

Perhaps our new disease will provide a change in perspective. Current conditions suggest otherwise. At the time of this writing (22 March 2020), in spite of the callow cynicism, repulsive preening and empty macho pose of our newly self-declared “Wartime President,” the Trump Administration’s national job approval numbers are ticking up. Ignorance and apathy. Ignorance and bigotry. When does the disease become terminal?

* N.B. This essay was written at furious pace, at the close of the first week of social distancing as COVID-19 arrived in Philadelphia, PA. There are many, many punk bands and songs that address sickness that haven’t been included: the Germs, Flipper’s “Survivors of the Plague,” GBH’s “Sick Boy,” and so on. But the essay is not interested in offering any sort of survey or comprehensive account of punk’s symbolic treatment of illness—and “Sick Boy” is a thunderingly stupid song, anyways. Additional apologies for the essay’s fast-and-loose organization. Furious writing bears the marks of the psychological dissonance its writer (ahem) suffers. And angry words likely should not be prettily put.

Jonathan Shaw

#punk'd history #jonathan shaw #dusted magazine #illness #punk #subhumans #sex pistols #dead kennedys #christ on parade #dystopia #rudimentary peni

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mace158commissions · 4 years

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The Judge

This example of my writing is an original story with 1747 words which would be $18 (this is not for sale as it is an example)

TWs: mentions of emotional, physical, and psychological abuse by a lover, it’s a take on christianity so religion warning, mentions of suicidal thoughts and suicide

If you want to commission me feel free to check here!

If you want to give me a tip you can on my ko-fi right here!

~~~

The Judge had seen many souls over the eternity of live. Perhaps in the beginning, the Judge was not a being of hell, but the Judge was still there for the first souls in existence being made. The Judge was the one who first chose who got soulmates and who didn’t. The Judge remembers the first pair of soulmates, angels. The Judge remembers how their closeness made the host fear their power. The Judge remembers a lot.

The Judge doesn’t get to see all the souls anymore though. The Judge doesn’t choose soulmates anymore. The Judge no longer gets to observe the beauty of every soul, the Judge only sees the souls that heaven chooses not to accept. Because heaven learned to choose like the Judge chose, but heaven chose things that the Judge disagreed with. So, now the Judge, rejected, Judges the others that heaven rejects.

But some beautiful and heartbreaking souls still slip through the cracks to be admired by the first one to ever admire them. The Judge has learned that sinners can still be beautiful, and that some souls sent to hell aren’t truly sinners at all.

The Judge has also learned that souls can be broken.

Humans can break spirits and minds, the Judge knew this. The Judge was aware of the most horrific acts a human could do to one another, to themselves, to anyone or anything. The Judge knew that humans can break and break and break. Yet when meeting the first shattered soul, the Judge was caught off guard. A spirit can heal. A mind can too. A soul cannot, not without intervention by one of a higher power, a being from heaven or hell or other ventures.

The Judge has come across multiple shattered souls by now. The Judge never bothered to count them, as in an eternity they would never come to a stop, and the Judge would rather not experience the hopeless feeling of the shattering and pain never ceasing. Never stopping.

So this soul in front of the Judge was not a surprise. Shattered, completely, glass shards of pain and agony and grief with pieces of love and hatred. Emotions the Judge has learned well over the years of looking through sinners. However from what the Judge could see of this one, the soul was… not intended to be hell bound. The soul wanted to help.

The Judge sighed. The soul was in pain and restless, the Judge could not get anywhere with it like this. Carefully, the Judge began to move some pieces. The soul sobbed, the Judge could not tell if it was from pain or from relief, but the Judge had long since learned to ignore sounds of suffering from their existence in hell. It was long and tedious work, and perhaps to a being with a shorter lifespan, it would not be worth the work at all. However the Judge had lived a long eternity, and still had a long eternity to go, and spending time on such a task was only another task in continuing existence. Pieces began to fit together soon enough and the soul became more and more whole as the Judge continued. The soul was assembled into larger pieces when the Judge decided to take another look at them.

The first piece was the largest, the soul’s past and personality and goals. It… the soul was beautiful, perhaps not among the most beautiful the Judge had seen, but better than average. It had grown up wishing to help, doing what it could to help. It valued those that put others first and strived to be one like such. The Judge felt confusion. Why would heaven reject a soul as pure as this one?

The second piece was a swirling vortex of pain and hurt, love and hatred so intertwined that it was difficult to tell if they were both present or if it was just one. A cancer on the soul, the Judge realized. The soul had a parasite from its life, a parasite that likely caused its shattering.

The rest of the pieces were in a pile, seemingly connecting the second piece to the rest of the soul. The Judge looked at the pieces of the soul, thinking.

Heaven likely rejected this soul due to the disease on it. The disease would appear like any sin, as it infected part of what would have been a good person’s soul and made it sick and twisted. The Judge looked back at it, still in thought.

The Judge could send the piece of the soul back to heaven. It was assembled enough to become a Risen, thought it would lack substantial memories if its human life and personality. The Judge could also rebuild the whole soul, allow the beauty to be tainted and corrupted. The Judge could also allow the soul to stay here and not rebuild it, however it is likely that in this environment the soul would only grow another tumor.

The Judge sighed. Decisions like this needed more information. Without thinking much of it, the Judge touched the second piece of the soul to learn its memories.

Pain. Pain pain pain pain pain pain. I love him. I want to help him. It hurts it hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts. Help me. Go back. Help him. Save him. Save me. Real, not real. He loves me. It hurts it’s painful it hurts so much I want to die it hurts to much. He loves me not. He hurts he’s hurting me pain pain pain. Please let me escape. Let me go back. It hurts hurts hurts hurts. I want to save him please. I need to die. I want him back. I want to leave. Please stop. I want to save you. Please. Hurts dying pain suffering it’s not real it is I want it to be fake it’s real it’s not he loves me he loves me he loves me not.

The Judge gasped, pulling away within a second, almost afraid. The pain left the Judge breathless and afraid, shaking slightly. That much torture, internal and external, in a single soul…

No wonder the soul couldn’t bear it.

The Judge shook, taking a deep breath. The delusions of love is what hurt the Judge the most. The idea that the soul could care for and love something hurting it to the point of madness…

The Judge will never understand humans, but the Judge will always have the ability to feel the pain the souls feel when Judging, will always know their innermost thoughts as learned from their souls.

The Judge took a moment, or perhaps several. Time was different to an immortal in hell after all. But in the end, the Judge decided that… well, perhaps that the Judge is unfit to Judge. It happened before, when the Judge asked a soul what it would prefer, though it wasn’t often. However no one will ever truly know one like oneself will, and the Judge acknowledges such. The Judge can read souls like a human reads a book, but the Judge cannot write them like the human does, the Judge cannot live them.

The Judge touched the larger pure piece of the soul gently, brushing fingers over the surface. If you wish to speak, I am giving you the ability as of now.

The soul brightened. What’s going on?

You have been sent to hell. However you have a few options.

Options? What do you mean?

Heaven rejected you because of a blight on your soul. The cancer destroyed you from the inside out, I had to rebuild you. I can send you back to heaven before I complete the rebuilding, without the harm on your soul. I can also give you the sickness back and you will stay down here. Without your entire soul, you will lack memories, but whatever you can remember as of now you will have with you. The memories tied to the pain may not be worth shouldering on once more, as they broke your soul before.

The soul seemed to shift and flutter a bit.

I… I cannot remember feeling any love.

The Judge looked through the soul, finding that oddly, the large piece had none of the love.

I remember telling my parents and my sister I love them, but I cannot remember feeling it. I know I must have, because I remember the hurt of them disowning me.

The Judge looked at the writhing, horrid piece of the soul. Love was sprinkled throughout it, intermixed with the hatred.

I do not want to go to Heaven not knowing love. I do not wish to continue on with my current memories without remembering everything. I feel broken, I don’t want that.

The Judge must have still been experiencing emotion from touching the soul, as it felt as though happiness had died. You may still feel broken after being put back together. The love you are missing is mixed with more pain and hatred than most humans ever encounter.

I can handle it.

The Judge blinked. Ah, perhaps the human soul wasn’t perfect. With those words, the pieces from the third pile shifted. With a closer look, the Judge realized that while it is below the surface, this soul was prideful. This soul wanted to help and took pride in the fact that they could. Believed that they were the only ones that should.

Their pride is what caused the sickness to become as bad as it became, perhaps what aided the sickness to start in the beginning. If I fully reconstruct your soul, you will be a demon of Pride within hell.

Alright.

The soul dulled, waiting for the Judge to put it back together. Waiting to be stitched up and waiting to relive the worst memories of their life, waiting to be forced to be whole with the madness that drove them to shattering. Hoping they wouldn’t shatter again.

The Judge almost wished that it did not have to be done, or perhaps that the Judge did not have to do it. But the Judge chose to give this decision to the soul. And a Judge is meant to have honor.

The sad thing about loving the beauty of souls is that the Judge becomes attached sometimes. The Judge wishes for better than what the souls get. However even a being of eternity cannot change what is happening, what has happened.

Here, the Judge cannot choose.

#commissions open #writers on tumblr #writing #my writing #og writing #nonbinary character #abuse #emotional manipulation #death #post death #assumption that life continues after death #which im aware not everyone shares that belief

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #271

“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”

Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.

#survey #quiz #questions

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hongkongartman-mlee · 5 years

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5 GREAT ASIAN FILMS ABOUT POVERTY & SOCIAL INJUSTICE―MUST-WATCH LIST

Grave poverty and social injustice are now a threat to human progress and stability everywhere in the world.

Pope Francis said correctly, “Globalization has helped many people rise out of poverty, but it has also damned many others to starve. It is true that wealth is growing in absolute terms, but inequalities have also grown and new poverty arisen. We cannot wait any longer to deal with the structural cases of poverty in order to heal our society from an illness that can only lead to new crises. We need projects, mechanisms and processes to implement better distribution of resources, from the creation of new jobs to the integral promotion of those who are excluded.”

Worst of all, some rich people regard poverty as a shame and being ashamed of it by the poor themselves makes the problem more disturbing.

In many places, violence is seen as a more efficient means than non-violence in redressing the injustice. In fact, violence cannot. Violence drives out peace and stability, the reliable platform on which all sides can talk and solve. We shall not be captured by the moments of emotion and let the society be hijacked by the extremists. It is dangerous to let hate and violence to drive a society to a corner where everyone feels insecure and fearful. We must not expel hopes and talks, and we must affirm the positive value of communication.

Some used to think art is to serve the rich. It is not. Modern artists also have a social conscience. Some want, in order to send a warning signal to the world, to portray poverty and its hardships. The urban poor, jobless, ragged, senile, sick, heartbroken and hopeless are all good objects and topics for an artist. Contemporaries are motivated by the mix of curiosity, compassion, anger and sympathy which drew the artists to presenting the brutal realities of poverty. Our world is changing fast and more high-tech. It however has not done enough for the poor. The expressions and protests against poverty and social injustice through art are far more powerful than physical violence which can bring a society to the edge of a cliff next to the ocean of anarchy.

In recent times, Korea, Japan, Taiwan, China Mainland and Hong Kong, the 5 ‘chopsticks-using’ places, all produced an outstanding film related to poverty. Such films received numerous awards in international film festivals and the Japanese and Korean ones got even the crown jewel in Festival de Cannes.

Parasite is a 2019 South Korea dark comedy - drama film directed by Bong Joon-ho. A driver and his wife were unemployed. The two teenager kids had no money to go to college. The family struggled to survive by folding pizza boxes in their semi-basement home. Being desperate, they invented a plot to take advantage of a rich family. Initial ‘parasiting’ on the target family turned out to be successful. The poor became more aggressive with regard to their plan B of sucking up the rich family.

In 2018, Japanese director Hirokazu Koreeda made a film called Shoplifters. At first blush, there is nothing irregular about a poor family in Tokyo: there is a man and his wife, a little boy, a sweet girl, an older sister and an old granny, all living in a tumbledown bungalow covered with dust and dirt. It is shocking to discover that the food and necessities of the family were all trophies of their shoplifting. It is even more shocking to later realize that the family relationships were made up in order to cheat the outside world. How could this horrible family carry on when the others started to eye the members with suspicion?

The 2017 Taiwanese film directed by Huang Hsin-yao, The Great Buddha+, won more than 20 awards. Pickle was a night security guard at a bronze buddha factory. His friend Belly Button was a scavenger. They were poor and abandoned by the society. Having late night snacks, enjoying porn magazines picked up from trash bins and watching television were their dull daily life. One day when the television did not work, their life was changed completely after they found something to replace the television. That ‘something’ was the beginning of a murder story.

Dying to Survive is a 2018 Chinese film directed by Wen Muye and it is his feature film debut. The film is based on the real-life story of a lower-class businessman who smuggled cheap but unproven cancer medicine from India for the thousands of cancer sufferers in China in 2004. He started out importing the illegal drug to make good money, but he came to feel how much it mattered to his dying customers. His smuggling gang included a weird middle-aged man, a rebellious teenage, a stubborn priest and a pole dance lady who were exhausted by poverty. Money soon shattered their unity and caused the parties an impossible situation.

Finally, it is Hong Kong. Mad World is a 2016 tragedy directed by Wong Chun. Tung, a patient having bipolar disorder, was discharged after serving the sentence of manslaughtering his mother. He was placed in the custody of his truck-driver father who belonged to the ‘working poor’ class. They lived in a tiny and smelly ‘matchbox’ room in dilapidated condition. The neighbours were hostile to such a dangerous intruder and they decided to do nasty things against the poor family.

The above 5 poverty films are artistically sublime and stimulating. They depicted how poverty had become a punishment on the unfortunate for a crime that they did not commit in these Asian cities which look gorgeous from the outside. The 5 films strike a fine balance between artistic and commercial elements. You should not miss such great films. I do not know if poverty is a necessary accompaniment to civilization or not. I do know that without poverty and social injustice, the artists like film directors would not have been able to be inspired by the misery of the sad and poor; and to use their unhappiness to tell how happy some of us are.

【Shoplifters: https://youtu.be/zm3pXxgjyJw】

【Parasite: https://youtu.be/hb1iOVvkykY】

【Mad World: https://youtu.be/MfGDc-LOmNE】

【The Great Buddha+: https://youtu.be/br7eRYniQ90】

【Dying to Survive: https://youtu.be/tVGjPgpbmYg】

#Pope Francis #Parasite #Shoplifters #The Great Buddha+#Dying to Survive #Mad World #Urban Poor #Working Poor

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alarawriting · 5 years

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Inktober #14: Overgrown

Not sure what I’m doing with 13: Ash yet, so here, have 14. This features a character from the Cold Light universe but not part of that book. He’s a Proxima, like Meg, but instead of becoming a hero or villain with his powers... he does something else.

Max looked over the yard. “Yikes.”

The executor nodded. “It looks like they didn’t do anything to take care of the yard for the past 10 years. When Walter died, the paramedics had to borrow a weed clipper from the wife to get the walkway wide enough that they could get the stretcher through.”

“My God,” Max said. “Is – was there any chance they could have saved his life otherwise?”

“Oh, no, I’m sure there wasn’t,” the executor said. “He was pronounced DOA. But Helen wants to sell the place and move to an assisted living community. Apparently Walter’d been telling her for ten years that he was having things taken care of – either he was doing the chores, or he was having a landscaper come by, or something – and with her being mostly bed-ridden, she took his word for it.”

“That poor woman. She really hasn’t left her house in ten years?”

“Aside from going outside to bring in grocery and package delivery, neither did Walter. We’ve found a few paths he made through the underbrush to get to the gate where they’d leave the packages, but they weren’t big enough to bring the stretcher through.” The executor shook his head. “The best we can figure, either he was a hoarder of garden vegetation, or he had the worst cast of procrastination anyone’s ever seen.” He gave the suburban jungle one last eyeing-over before turning to Max. “What can you do with this?”

“A lot,” Max said, “but too much of that growth is woody for me to just make it all disappear. When green-stem plants die, like flowers and tomatoes, they just collapse to the ground, but woody plants like trees and shrubs and some kinds of vine will still be there when they die… they won’t continue to grow, their roots will shrink and they’ll dry out and be easier to dig out or cut down, but it’s still going to take some work to remove them.” He pulled at a woody vine that had completely swallowed the white picket fence… at least he thought it was probably a white picket fence from the tiny bits of picket that showed through the vines.

“Well, any cost from landscapers coming in and cutting down whatever’s left after you do your job will be more than made up for by what Helen can get from selling the house, and it would cost a lot more to have them cut it all down while it’s alive.”

“Not to mention the rats.” Max looked at the executor. “You did know about the rats, didn’t you?”

“Uh… no. Helen didn’t mention rats.”

“Just for due diligence, she doesn’t have a family of pet possums or a colony of feral cats living on the property, does she?”

“She has two cats, they’re indoor cats and fixed.”

“And they’re not on the property anymore? It’s important that nothing she wants alive should be on the property at the moment.”

“I get that.” The executor’s smile was nervous. Max took a step away from the man, casually, as if he was inspecting the vines, and saw out of the corner of his eye the executor relax slightly. “She’s got her cats with her, I believe.”

“Staying with kids or something?”

“No, a friend’s house. Walter and Helen never had any kids.” The executor snorted. “If they had, I’d be having words with those kids now. Walter was obviously mentally ill or something, and Helen wasn’t physically capable of enforcing him dealing with the yard even if she knew there was a problem, but if they had kids, there would be no excuse for anyone letting their parents live like this.”

“There’s some smallish creatures in the house. Can we confirm she doesn’t have fish, or other terrarium pets she might have left behind?”

“Huh. She did go to her friend’s in a hurry; it’s not like she’s moved out yet. I’ll check.”

While the executor called the widow to confirm whether or not the lives Max was sensing in the house were wanted or not, Max walked along the fence. Most of the life he was going to have to deal with was deep inside, nowhere near the fence. It was a large property, and he wasn’t going to be able to do it by radiating an area of effect, since there were neighbors. He sighed. Dammit, he was going to have to get the hedge clippers himself, or a machete or something, just to get deep enough into the yard to be able to do his job.

“I don’t get paid to be a gardener,” he muttered.

Well, he didn’t get paid to be a plumber either, but there’d been that colony of mutant amphibious mice that he’d had to track through the pipes in that one house. And at least the homeowner was willing to make a clean sweep, none of “don’t touch my prize rosebushes but get everything else”.

Still, he made a mental note to quote the executor a 20% increase in his usual fee.

“Good news,” the executor said. “Nothing in the house is supposed to be alive.” A little nervously, he asked, “How do you know there’s living things in there? Can you tell what they are?”

“I can tell their approximate size, and, vaguely, about how high off the ground they are,” Max said. “What I’m seeing could be consistent with pet fish, or animals in terrariums… or it could be a few colonies of mice living in the walls. There’s also a lot of insect life, all over. Uh. I think maybe you’re gonna want to check for termite damage after I’m done.”

“Wait, there are termites?”

“Some kind of insect living in parts of the wall that I think might be studs,” Max said. “Could be something like powder post beetles if there’s wooden furniture up against the walls.”

“But you can take care of them?”

“Sure can, but I can’t fix the damage they might have done, so get the place inspected thoroughly before you put it on the market. I can certify that I treated the place for you, once I’m done; I’m licensed to certify state-approved no-toxin extermination was performed. There’s bedbugs, too. That’s weird for people who never leave the house.”

“I’ll just… have the mattresses burned.”

“No need, I can deal with those little suckers too, including the eggs. But the mattresses should be thrown out; there’s gonna be tiny little bloodstains all over them. Nothing bio-active, but people looking at it won’t be able to tell it’s been sanitized. Don’t burn them, the chemicals mattresses are made of turn toxic when you set them on fire.”

“Anything else?”

“Major flea infestation. Those poor cats. Let the friend know and get the homeowner have them professionally treated right away.”

“Is that something you could do?”

“Not without making the cats sick. I don’t do parasites on living creatures; I’m an exterminator. I kill stuff. People aren’t a big fan of exposing their pets to things that kill stuff.” It wasn’t impossible; he’d killed skin cancer once, and the person who’d had the melanoma was still alive, but it was delicate work and dangerous and he’d only done it because his friend hadn’t had insurance and he’d been terrified the thing would metastatize before his friend could raise the money for chemo. Also because chemo was probably worse for people overall than one exposure to a pinpoint death touch. Cats were more fragile than people anyway.

“Okay, I’ll let Helen and her friend know. If Helen’s cats infest her friend’s house with fleas, you’d be able to help with that, right?”

“Yep, with all the usual caveats. Get your pets out of the house for the day, that includes any fish, prized houseplants, and if you want me working on your garden you show me every plant you don’t want dead when I’m done, yadda yadda.”

“Sounds good. So when do you want to get started on Walter and Helen’s yard here?”

Max pulled out his phone, did some quick calculations, and presented the executor with the total. “You can give me a check now, or you can call my secretary and give her the credit card number over the phone.”

“We’ll do a check, that’s simplest.” The executor didn’t even blink at the price. Silently Max kicked himself for not raising the price even higher.

“And I’m gonna need those hedge clippers.”

“I figured as much.”

***

Half an hour later the executor was gone, driven off to get lunch or something, far more than a safe distance away. Max could sense as far as a city block, but he had no idea if he could actually drain life that far away, because he’d never tried.

Numerous supervillains had tried to recruit him since he’d discovered his powers around the age of 14, but Max thought that capes were, in general, ridiculous people. Well, the Peace Force were all right, as heroes went, and his doctor was great despite being a supervillain in her spare time, but why the hell would he ever want to work a job where the entire reason he was on board was to threaten to kill people, or actually do it? He still had nightmares about his grandfather’s death, and the man had been in his 60’s, old enough to die of a heart attack even if Max had had nothing to do with it. Max felt bad when he accidentally killed someone’s pet goldfish – which had happened, in the beginning of his career, because idiots heard “get your pets out of the house” and for some reason mentally tacked on “except for your fish, they aren’t really alive.” Why would he ever want to kill anything another person cared about, let alone a person themselves? Hell, the only mammals he was cool with killing were the rats and mice, and that was mainly because they carried disease and ate people’s food. He wouldn’t take on rural assignments, they kept wanting him to dispose of bunny rabbits and gophers. No thanks. And he didn’t do birds. Pigeons were beautiful creatures and geese were shitheads but mostly just because they weren’t scared of humans, and Max respected that.

His extermination business was certified by the state to be wholly organic and no-toxin, which was good for the environment and for the health of the people he helped. From Max’s perspective, he’d taken a power that terrified most people and kind of screamed “supervillain” to anyone who paid attention to capes, and used it to improve the life and health of people and their pets.

He started at the gate, where the paramedics had hacked a pathway to the house wide enough to get the stretcher through. The pathway was partly the actual original walkway, partly ground that had once been occupied by tall pokeweed plants. As Max walked along the path, he cast his awareness out as far as he could see, to the limit of the yard edge or his eyes’ vision, whichever came first. Life everywhere, from the bacteria and the worms in the dirt to the weedy jungle overrunning every square inch of the yard.

They’d have to replace the worms, when he was done. If Max was going to get all the seeds, he’d have to get everything within the top six inches of the soil. He could leave the bacteria alone – they were small enough that they couldn’t be anything else, and soil needed bacteria to rot the things he was going to kill – but worms were, unfortunately, indistinguishable from small plant shoots, and the garden wouldn’t do well once the worms were all dead.

He stood in the middle of the area he’d mentally bounded, and pulled life energy from it.

Most of the plants slumped immediately. The pokeweed, which wasn’t exactly woody but was easily the thickest non-woody stem Max was familiar with, stood up for a while even as its leaves shriveled, but eventually collapsed on itself. The woody vines and the overgrown shrubs lost their leaves, pulling the water out of any extremity they had in a doomed effort to save themselves. Plants interpreted the pulling of their life force as dehydration, probably because they weren’t evolved to experience this kind of death from any other force.

When he was done… there were still woody sticks and vines and leafless shrubbery everywhere, but everything green was gone, slumped to the ground.

With the clippers, he began cutting himself a path through some raspberry plants that had gotten way out of control, moving toward the side of the house. Once he was far in enough that he could see an area of the yard he hadn’t been able to see before, he did the same thing. Set the range, then pull the life.

It was very important to Max that he could physically see the area he was killing. He could sense life, and its approximate size, so things like the time some absolute shithead had left a child playing in the basement weren’t a real danger for him. He’d notice something as large as a child right away, and had, that time. (He couldn’t prove that said shithead had wanted him to kill the kid so they could sue his insurance for wrongful death, but at the very least the act had been neglectful enough that he’d seen the kid taken away and given to a foster family, and he’d testified at the hearing that had terminated the asshole’s custody. The kid had deserved better.) But kittens, puppies, songbirds, other creatures like that… life came in sizes, for him, and he couldn’t tell the difference between a mouse and a hummingbird, aside from the fact that hummingbirds didn’t stay still as often as mice did and were usually found higher than mice (not always, though… mice climbed on things.) So outside, where most living things were just minding their own business and not bothering the humans, he wanted to be able to see what he was killing.

Back out of where he was, head up to the porch, over to its side where he could see the other side of the yard. Set the range, pull the life. He included part of the house itself in his sweep this time, killing infestations of insects and an absurdly high number of rats and mice. What the hell had been wrong with that guy, that he’d let his disabled wife live in this shithole without doing anything to maintain it or keep the pests under control? Max got the concept of procrastination – the dishes in his own sink hadn’t been done for a week, he just kept killing the fruit flies and mold rather than actually washing them because he hadn’t run out of dishes yet – but this was appalling. He really didn’t want to go in the house, and from what he could see through the windows of the piles of clutter everywhere, the house plainly didn’t want him to go in, either. Hopefully he’d be able to get the place fully sterilized without having to enter.

The whole job took two hours. It was easily the longest a yard this size had ever taken him. By the time he was done, he was twitching with restless energy. The life went somewhere when he took it – it went into him. Max was in his thirties, but physically looked and felt like a man barely out of college; he grew facial hair just so people would take him seriously as a business owner. He’d been sick exactly once since he’d developed his power, mainly because he’d been binge drinking a lot at the time, and apparently that suppressed his immune system no matter how much life force he was brimming with. Max used to know a guy whose power allowed him to siphon off the excess life energy, which he used to pay Max for since he could use it to help sick people for cash, but someone had shot the dude last year and Max hadn’t found anyone else with a similar power set yet.

So here was the part where he wound up the job and went to the gym, because he had to do something to get rid of the energy, and neither of the exactly two girlfriends he’d had in his life had been able to keep up with him in bed when he was like this, so he needed other outlets.

As he left the place, Max looked back at the disaster of a yard. It actually looked significantly worse now – instead of green overgrowth covering everything, now it was sparser, but winter-brown and dry, nothing but lifeless shrubs and the tracery of woody vines still twined around everything despite being leafless and dead. But at least now, the landscapers would have an easier time of it; there’d be no difficulty telling the difference between legitimate, desired plants and weeds when all of them were dead, and dead plants were significantly easier to cut or remove.

He pulled out his cell phone as he headed for his car. “Hey there,” he said to the executor’s voice mail. “I finished the job. Go ahead and send the landscapers in before rats move into the vacuum I just left.”

Max really needed to find someone else who could siphon his excess energy, he thought. The money he’d just made was good, but it’d be better if he could do two or three jobs this size in a day without having to have a few hours in the gym to burn it off before draining anything else. Although, on the plus side, at least now he was really, really buff. Too bad that didn’t help much on the dating scene after he told girls about his power, but it wasn’t like he was going to lie.

#inktober 2019 #proximas (alara rogers)#super powers

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the-shadows-request-candy-corn · 5 years

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Topics that I really want to see featured in “Cells at Work!”

Aged neutrophil: Once neutrophils kill a certain amount of pathogens through phagocytosis, they perform suicide in the form of apoptosis. I think it would be interesting seeing how a neutrophil, maybe an older mentor of the neutrophil squad would come to terms with the fact that what they were born to do is killing them and how the rest of the neutrophils feel about and react to it. Also to make it even sadder, if neutrophils don't die at a wound or infection site, some of them go back to the bone marrow where they were born to die.

Obligate intracellular parasites: We've seen normal bacteria, viruses, nematodes, and cancer cells, but what about something like babesiosis or some other tick-borne illness that turns the cells against the body like a virus, but is actually a living organism? Like a monocyte gets infected by Ehrlichia and starts attacking the platelets and no one knows what's going on, then suddenly she splits open and these things crawl out of her! Freaky!

(Okay, to be honest, I don't actually know HOW a bacterium that attacks monocytes actually causes thrombocytopenia, I always just assumed that the infected cells went bonkers from infection and started killing platelets. I might actually be wrong. But, either way, ehrlichiosis still causes low platelet counts SOMEHOW )

Toxoplasma gondii: T. gondii is a protozoan parasite that can only survive in rats and cats, but that doesn't stop it from trying to make humans sick if it ends up in a person by accident! It usually only causes flu-like symptoms in healthy patients before forming cysts and dying, but in immunocompromised or pregnant individuals, it can wreak havoc. Even if you only get flulike symptoms, the parasites can still change some of your brain cells and how they function irreversibly, predisposing you to mental conditions. It would also be really cool to see what its character design would look like, and what the different nerve cells would look like, and also how they would address the blood-brain barrier and how white blood cells take care of infections of the brain.

Different Medications: So far, we've seen the steroid from episode five represented as a robot who basically just destroys anything it sees in order to stop allergies. In "Cells at Work! Black", there are some more medications, most of whom are antimicrobials (or... other medications who shall remain nameless) shown as machines or drones. But what about other medicines, like OTC pain medications with little to no side effects, or medications for mental disease? Would ibuprofen be a cute tiny little friendly robot who wants to comfort the sensory nerves and blocks part of the inflammatory pathway by asking the inflammatory cells nicely? Would antidepressants be baymax-like androids who help neurons function better by cheering them up? There are just so many different medicines that do so many different things in so many different ways, the possibilities are just endless!

The Effects of Stress/Emotions/Mental Illness on the Body: In "Cells at Work! Black' and that one chapter of "Cells at Work!" where NK cell is unable to fight due to stress, we see some of the effects of stress on the body, but, holy cow, stress, emotions, and mental illness can REALLY mess up the body in more ways than just immunosuppression. Even just minor or normal feelings and stress can have visible effects on physical health. I feel it could also lead to a really good storyline where the cells have no idea why some of these things are just happening when there doesn't seem like any pathogen or injury to cause them and they're trying to figure out what's going on, maybe by paying a visit to the brain. It might also give the series a chance to get kind of meta-ish if they want because the thing that's causing the problems are going on mostly in the outside world. I also think it would go a long way in validating people with mental conditions and stress, maybe even increase awareness, because it would show that, yes, things that affect the brain actually do have quite an effect on physical health too.

Please reblog with stuff that you want to see on "Cells at Work!" too!

#cells at work #cells #hataraku saibō #anime #science #neutrophil #monocyte #disease #medicine #cells at work anime #white blood cells

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orcinus-ocean · 5 years

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The anti-human sentiment on this comment section is sick, and the biggest reason why I can't stand the environmental movement anymore, even though I agree on most issues.

If you're one of the people who says these things, please think before you do next time.

You can insult yourself as much as you want, it's your right.

But you're calling every other person in the comment section, every person you've ever known, every person that works in zoos, conservation, anti-poaching, habitat restoration - you're calling them all "evil" and "parasites" and "cancer".

You're saying they all deserve to go extinct. Which always means children dying before they have a chance to grow up.

We have seen governments do horrible things in the name of "population control" and "good breeding". No, not just 1930s Germany. America, England and other countries very much did the same. Mass murder and forced sterilizations in the thousands. Using humans as guinea pigs.

That could only happen because the people let it happen. And we're no kinder or more "enlightened" today than in the 1920s or 60s or whenever. I will surely get some "tinfoil hat" comments now, but I can see something really terrible coming, if we don't shut it with the anti-human sentiment.

"We are parasites" "We must die out" "We must make people stop breeding" "There are too many of us"

If you want this put into practice, it can only be forced sterilizations (in the millions), or mass graves and lots of bullets. Maybe you don't care about some nameless, faceless strangers on the other side of the world. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have this to some extent.

But what if it's you? What if it's your child? What if it's your sister being dragged screaming and crying to surgery, or your brother kneeling before an empty mass grave?

Again, extinction always means that the children of the species all die before they've had a chance to reproduce.

Are you seriously advocating that?! I think not, I think you're just speaking out of unthinking passion for nature. But please think next time.

Every country has mistreated, murdered and abused its people, for the benefit of those in power.

Eugenics was really, really popular (again, not just in Germany). Now, anti-human sentiment in the name of environmentalism is really popular.

Nothing has changed.

Please don't let them do it again, in the name of whatever is popular at the time.

#environmentalism #animal rights #is becoming #anti human

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beyondthetemples-ooc · 5 years

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And on TODAY’S episode of “RHS overanalyzes every little detail about Raven’s existence”....

If Raven’s soul-self protects her from pathogenic illness, and she doesn’t just have A Serious Immune System: it’s an astral protection, somehow. Through some mysterious mechanism, Raven’s soul-self (specifically named as the functional component in this mechanism) prevents “disease” from affecting her.

Yet also canonically doesn’t protect her from the pains she absorbs, or the effects of a bad drug trip. She can’t “absorb” a “disease” from someone else.

Conclusion: it’s specifically Illness-Causing Microorganisms it protects her from, exclusively those In Her Own Body Only.

So I started wondering: What about her gut flora?

Like, you know: natural microorganisms? The built-in bacteria that help with digestion, immune health, stress tolerance, inflammation, and probably a whole lot more we just haven’t discovered yet?

I mean, I’m the fucking adult Poster Child for it, but empaths are Known to Have Digestive Struggles when they’re overwhelmed / not grounding / generally just Being Empaths Around Other People. She probably needs all the good gut health she can get.

But anyways, how does the whole “my soul-self protects me from illness” thing work? Because obviously it doesn’t indiscriminately kill microrganisms or cells.

Obviously, she has a human digestive system (she does eat, and she does canonically have Blood Type O, which Requires Intestinal Digestion to carry nutrients.)

I mean, arguably you could say demons don’t need gut flora. 8F But even cats and dogs are known to need healthy gut flora. (It’s a Big Thing in modern veterinary studies lately. Also a commonly-prescribed treatment for recurrent digestive distress.) Herbivores are known to need A Lot More gut flora to help break down plant matter (and she IS vegetarian in the 80′s comics), so she can’t rely entirely on digestive enzymes and juices.

How does an astral form discern Healthy Cells from Invading Cells?

Does she get sick if she gets a transfusion of A/B/AB blood types? Is Raven immune to germs in ALL regions, planets, and dimensions? Food poisoning? What about bad cellular developements in her own body? Nerve damage? Autoimmune disorders? Cancer?

As far as my personal headcanon goes: Yes, she’s immune to all of that. Her body IS in a human shape; though she DOES exist separately, her body and soul are STILL both connected parts of her. If her soul gets corrupted, so does her body. If her body gets corrupted, so does her soul. Obviously, they’re connected. And canoically: her soul protects her body. And what is her soul? “The part of her that is Trigon.” So: Her soul comes from an interdimensional conqueror, and obviously he couldn’t be stopped by a bacteria from another dimension crippling him for life. So by hereditary necessity: she has a more ferocious immune system that conquers a wider, stronger range of bodily invaders.

Really, the only reason humans get “sick” is WAY more from our own immune response than what the germs ACTUALLY do to our bodies. Fever, whole slews of digestive issues, body aches, sweating and chills-- they’re all caused by our brain going, “this doesn’t belong here. We’re going to try getting rid of it! INCREASE THE TEMPERATURE; kill it with fire! Increase bloodflow, thus bringing in more troops to kill it! Increase sleep to batten down our energy reserves!” You know: The things we identify as “getting sick”. It’s actually our own body doing that. The only invaders that ACTUALLY make us sick are internal parasites eating our food and causing malnutrition, microbes that cause nerve damage (and even that’s more often caused by High Fever than directly from microbes), and viruses like rabies that actually alter the way neurology and brain functions work. Most of our Symptoms are just from the way OUR BODIES REACT to microbes, not caused by the microbes themselves!!

So what I’m saying is, maybe Raven doesn’t “get sick” because her immune system JUST “destroys” the invader, without her brain centers going, “there’s A Disease here, so we’re going to try killing it by inflaming the area, raising the body temp, and generally making the body feel gross”. She doesn’t have that in her DNA. Maybe it doesn’t take a lot of energy to destroy the invaders for her. Or maybe it takes more to do it without the help from Brain Stuff-- but it gets that energy from her immense astral reserves rather than her body.

I mean, if the girl can teleport between dimensions, suck neurological signals (pain and inflammation) into herself and basically force someone else’s body to Stop Experiencing That and Feel Better, channel the power of both Trigon and a thousand souls plus an almost-goddess through her body, and generally defy physics in a great many mystical ways? She’s got a LOT of energy.

A little thing like “destroy 1-20 microscopic cellular or viral things that Are Recognized by The Body as Don’t Belong There” doesn’t seem so far-fetched. Hell, regular HUMANS are capable of that; we just have bodies that Give Us Symptoms because it takes us a goddamn 1-14 days to do!

What I’m saying is, I think her immune system is Magically Enhanced and her neurology is Different, so it’s probably doing all the same Recognition and Identification of Intruders that our regular immune systems do. Just, super buffed up so it’s faster and doesn’t require Fever or Inflammation to do it.

This is one of those things i’m Kinda Burning to ask Marv Wolfman about, but on the other hand, Suspension of Disbelief is a thing.I’m just, yeah, hi medical student here, and a Curious one at that........

#rhs makes yet another post about teen titans #raven #tt headcanons list #long post #medical talk tw #i have A Lot of Theories because I Have A Lot of Energy Too and i also ALMOST never fall ill. except with my Stomach Issues =.=#but my immune system? except when i caught the flu at the start of 2018: I hadn't had a fever since i was NINE or TEN.#as a child i NEVER got sick-- not even when I Was outside in forty(F) degree weather without a jacket.#I've always been prone to muscle aches; headaches; kinetosis; and stomach issues. But from Microorganisms? Almost NEVER.#and that's a Small Wonder and Immense Miracle i've put a lot of thought and wondering to. =w=;;#but i'm also an empath and an energy healer with a veritable FUCK TON of Energies going through em at all times.#so what i'm saying is: i've put a lot of thought into how those things might interplay and how/why i never fall ill with Being What I Am.#(casually dream building about being able to meditate for 3 hours again without falling asleep #which has been a Righteous Struggle since i got a job...)

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