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genericpuff · 4 months

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Hi! Maybe this is a difficult question with no answer, but as a fan of Rekindled who might want to start their own comic, what do you suggest to avoid burnout? Do you start wiht writting the script right away, you doodle a bit,..? Thanks for reading, I love how you draw big noses, makes me more comfy with mine!

no fr my dark secret is that i've been experiencing burnout with my main original project that I've spent the last decade working on for literally a year now. this isn't the first long hiatus i've taken, the longest one i've ever been on has lasted two years, and it's undoubtedly not the last i'll experience because the lump of salt and fat and tissue that is my brain often overworks itself into exhaustion like a big dummy

rekindled has been my reprieve from the burnout. it has been my vacation from years of working on the same project, meeting the same deadlines, drawing the same characters, over and over and over again since before i was in college.

if there's anything working on rekindled has made clear to me, it's that i'm still capable of drawing comics. the comic-making isn't the problem. it's just that when you work on the same project for years and trap yourself in an uphill battle, eventually your climbing gear is bound to break.

if there's another thing that rekindled has opened my eyes to, it's the insanity that i put myself through prior to rekindled that led to my burnout in the first place.

i get people telling me that they couldn't imagine doing what i do, that even before i had my assistant helping me out, i was still able to put out 30-40 panel updates every week.

but before that, i was putting out 70-90 panel episodes of my original work. every week. full color. full spread action scenes. no assistant. very little financial gain aside from a couple patrons on patreon and one dedicated viewer on twitch, which i was also streaming on 2-3 times a week.

and now that i've been working on rekindled and even finding myself often crunched for time with that, i have zero clue, no idea, a complete lack of comprehension of how i pulled off 70-90 panels a week for months on end. there's a reason it resulted in burnout and i know that now. this comparison is not for the sake of a flex - this comparison is to make it clear that much of what i do isn't the norm and isn't exactly a healthy standard. case in point, i sneezed while sweeping up yesterday morning and it caused a muscle strain in my lower back/hips and i've been working out of my bed since, i'm in a lot of pain and it might mean i don't make any money this week if it's not better by the time i have to do my appointments at my day job on thursday. my need to create my personal passion projects is often at odds with my bad habits of not taking care of myself 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

when it comes to tackling burnout, your guess is as good as mine. really it just comes down to rest. when burnout - real, true burnout - hits, it's not just "man i'm bored of working on this", it's "i can't even think of looking at this thing let alone working on it", it's basically akin to depression and it's an awful thing that i wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (even with Rachel, I don't want to psychoanalyze her mental health but it does seem like she's possibly been experiencing burnout with LO for years now and that really sucks for her if that's true). so the solution is just as complicated as the cause, it's not something that you can just rest from for a week and come back from, it takes real long-term healing.

when I found my way out of that 2 year hiatus, it was in spring of 2019 and I decided to just work on a random comic page that wasn't even in the comic I was working on. and then suddenly it was like a switch flicked back into the on position and i didn't even finish what i was working on, i just went back to my original project and i kept working on it until it was finally finished at the end of 2021. as suddenly and randomly as it had set in, it was gone. but i can't just do the same thing this time, it just doesn't work that way.

that said, through all this, i've learned that my need to create is not restricted to any one tangible thing, i'm not doomed or designed to stick with the same words, the same faces, the same ideas until the end of time. while i do try to keep up healthy routines for myself to ensure i'm looking out for my future self and their deadlines and their upload schedules, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and in my case, the heart wanted to take a break from the self-reflective psychological analysis dark fantasy weebo stuff and just draw some pink and blue characters a little less ugly. the self-reflective weebo shit will still be there when i'm done with the pink and blue stuff, and i'll surely have loads of new things to unpack through it once i return.

there are still times when i'm working on rekindled and i'm feeling the creeping hand of my routine destruction digging its claws into my back. the reality is that 30-40 panels is still a lot for someone like myself who's doing this entirely for free, but my definition of normal for a while was so insanely inhumane that even what's still considered a lot by most people's standards feels sane and normal to me after what i put myself through.

i've learned to be more gentle with myself, and to loosen my own expectations of what i'm capable of to ensure i don't do anything like that to myself, by myself, again. i give myself room to create without expectations or the pressure of eyes watching when i can, and i remind myself that even if burnout rears its head again, and again, and again, the will to create is not gone. it's just tired, and resting, and growing, and healing as i am.

anyways that turned into a self-reflective essay post, to answer your question about making stuff ahead of time, i find that's more helpful with just like, planning out a structured story (so you don't write yourself into a corner) but whether or not it helps with burnout kind of depends. because it can just as also easily be the cause of the problem because constantly seeing the stuff you wanna be drawing so far away can be just as much of a morale killer as a motivator. some of the stuff i'm super psyched to write and draw with time gate is years away and that timeline grows longer the more the burnout goes on which makes the struggle feel even more overwhelming and pointless and defeating. so plan ahead, but keep it all within your means if you can. i find what works for me is planning out just general beat-to-beat plot structures (to ensure i at least have a plot skeleton going on so i know where i'm going) then i leave the finer details to when the actual episode i've planned gets closer to fruition and i can get myself in the headspace to write it fully.

also remember that just because you're really excited and motivated to work on your comic doesn't mean you should work yourself into exhaustion - it's a good thing if you're going through the mundane of your daily routine and the whole time you're hyped af to work on your hobby/personal project/etc. because that's what will keep you moving forward, so don't spend all that hype in one place by working and working and working until you're exhausted, because that hype is REALLY hard to get back after you've spent it all.

long post over! hope that helps! best of luck in your projects! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

#also aaah thank you for the nose compliment haha #i love drawing different kinds of noses <3 #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything #self post

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eleni-cherie · 7 months

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a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg - chapter 1.7

"so eager to be in a headlock again?" "only if it's by you."

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

Seoul, South Korea

"Here, see?" The golden key was shining under the light of a street lamp as Soyeon held it out for Yoongi. With furrowed brows, he took it from her grip. Inspecting it from all sides. "And you sure it got something to do with your grandfather's secret double life?" Shrugging, she took it back and shoved it into her pocket. "Most likely, it was hidden behind a photo after all." "But you don't have a clue where the lock is.." She shook her head disappointingly. "No, but I'll visit my grandma again next week and hopefully I'll find some clue." He hummed, peeking at her. "Don't do something irrational though." "Like what?" she asked puzzled. "Like going after it on your own." She scoffed at his grin. Getting the implication. "Don't worry, I learned my lesson."

The sky was tinted a dark blue shade when they reached Soyeon's apartment building. It had thankfully stopped raining awhile ago, the clouds having cleared up enough to reveal the crescent in the night sky.

She yawned, rummaging her keys out of her jacket's pockets. "Suddenly I feel so tired, probably 'cause you woke me up so early," she whined, hearing Yoongi laugh behind her. "Don't make such a fuss out of it, it was just once," he said then with a straight face, "Just go to sleep early." "Oh, I will. I'll probably crash as soon as I step foot inside." He smiled softly. It was fascinating how someone so short like her was able to contain so many facettes in her. She could be so strong and fierce, confronting and calling him out and then, then she was also this sweet, almost childlike person who was terribly grumpy in the morning. "Goodnight, Soyeon." He stepped back, walking backwalks. "Call me if there's anything." The cool night breeze made him shiver lightly, and he dug his hands further into his pockets. About to turn around when Soyeon's hand tugged on his biker jacket, making him stop in his tracks. He looked over his shoulder, seeing her eyes sparkling at him with imploration.

"Stay." He huffed a breath, knowing he'd only get more attached to her than he already was and it'd be unfair to both of them. "I don't think -" "Then stop thinking," she deadpanned, her grip becoming firmer along with her gaze. Only for her eyes to soften again. "Just for a day. Stay." Her quiet, pleading tone making his chest clench. Her voice almost cracking at the end as she feared he'd just slip through her fingertips again if she let go. "On monday we'll part company, me going to work and you to Japan, pretending as if nothing had ever happened. So just for one day.. for one day let's pretend being normal.. so you can see how overrated it is."

Yoongi's eyes filled with a strange mix of sorrow and longing at her words. A delusion, nothing more, he thought, but still tempting. To be normal for a day with her, doing things normal people did together before parting ways the day after tomorrow. "And besides.." she spoke up, lips curling into a playful smirk when she came up with another reason, "What if the bad guys show up again?"

He laughed under his breath, knowing very well she wasn't actually believing her words. It was her simple attempt to convince him, the same way she had done back then in Taiwan. It was their little inside code. When she used it, he couldn't deny her anything. That was the unspoken rule between them.

"You said normal, huh?" A rueful smile grazing his lips then, seeing her eyes beaming with hope. And he couldn't refuse anything when she looked at him like this. So he eventually nodded, grabbing her hand that was slowly loosening its grip on him, holding it tightly. "Let's be normal for a day then."

»»»

The next morning Soyeon woke up in the same position she had fallen asleep in. Only Yoongi was missing beside her. With a sigh, she propped herself up on her hand. Rubbing her eyes as she pushed the covers away.

Of course he didn't stay, why was she surprised?

However, 'surprised' wasn't the right word, perhaps 'disappointed' fit better. She was disappointed, but not surprised.

Her eyes fell on the clock on her nightstand. 11:46am. Well, at least he hadn't made any loud noises when leaving, allowing her to actually sleep in this time and rest. With a grunt, she made her away out of the bedroom, trying not to dwell too much in her self-pitying. It was alright, no big deal. The only man she ever had feelings for, would never let her get too close because of his commitment issues. Cool, cool, cool.

Scratching her cheek, still dizzy from sleep, she made her way to the kitchen. Taking a seat on a chair, she mindlessly picked up a tangerine from the fruit basket in front of her and unpeeled it, sliding a wedge into her mouth. Followed by another.

Maybe she should simply accept things instead of trying forcing something that couldn't be.

She began unpeeling another tangerine when her thoughts got interrupted by a clicking sound. Startled, the tengarine almost dropped from her hand when seeing Yoongi suddenly appearing in front of her. Droplets falling from his wet hair, rolling down his face and bare chest and a towel wrapped around his hips. Lowering her polaroid camera with a grin. "Now I also got a memento."

Her eyes grew round as she was trying processing what he was talking about, taking in the view in front of her. How did he manage coming so near without her even noticing? "You.. are still here?" He frowned at this as he waved the photo in his hand. "Where did you think I was?" She shrugged, slowly munching on another wedge and looking away. "I don't know.." Taking a look on the photo of her morning self mindlessly eating a tangerine he smiled, resting his eyes on her then. Understanding what she was implying. And it'd be a lie to say he hadn't actually contemplated leaving when waking up. However, then he looked down at her sleeping self drooling onto his shirt and he'd realised he didn't want to be anywhere else but there with her in his arms. Even if it was for just one day. The only reason he'd slipped out of bed after all was because he'd needed to use the bathroom.

"No, there wasn't anywhere else I needed to be," he truthfully said then while taking a tangerine himself, unpeeling his fruit and slipping several wedges between his lips. "Good to know," she smiled shyly to which he smiled as well. He coughed then and pointed at her shirt which was another way too large and baggy shirt that looked more like a dress on her small frame and which was secretly driving him insane of how great she looked in it. "You got another one of these?" She looked down, realising he needed something to wear since he didn't have anything but his clothes from the previous day. So she got up and walked out of the kitchen, hearing him trailing behind her towards the bedroom.

"I got a few actually," she giggled and opened her wardrobe, revealing her neatly folded clothes. She stretched herself then, getting on her tiptoes to reach the higher shelves where the large t-shirts were. Managing pulling one out, only for several others to drop on her head. Making Yoongi chuckle amused, picking them up from her face. "Why does a short person like you have such high shelves?" he grinned teasingly causing her to scoff. Playfully shoving the shirt she had drawn out onto his chest. "Got many clothes. And besides.. I'm not that short," she mumbled, his grin only growing wider. "You're tiny." Before she could retort something, he pecked her pout taking her aback. "But I don't mind." Her pout only grew at this, pushing him aside to leave the suffocating presence of his half-naked body. Hearing him laugh behind her and she paused, ready to counter a smart remark when her eyey caught something else instead.

"What's this?"

Her voice small, almost a whisper behind him when he felt her fingertips tracing over a specific spot on his shoulder. Causing him to briefly grow stiff under her touch. Having forgotten about it as he wasn't able to see it there. Out of sight out of mind.

"It's.. an old scar." "I see that.. but from what?" He shook his head, dragging a sigh as he looked down at the shirt in his hands. "It's dumb and nothing to worry about. I.. I was just young and careless." It was embarrassing to admit it out loud or even look at her. Her fingers retreating from the unevenness on his shoulderblade, sensing it still laying heavy on his heart. "I get it. You don't have to tell me more." He shrugged, fumbling with the shirt in his hands. "It was when I first joined the guys on heists. I didn't pay enough attention once and the opponent took advantage of it. That's it. It hasn't happened again ever since, I made sure of it." She swallowed, her eyes still fixated on the light streak on his pale skin. "Is this why you insisted on Cassandra taking care of my wound?"

He folded his lips, biting down on them when remembering that day. It felt like an eternity ago when he had found her in that restroom stall covered by cuts and bruises. A hot range rushing down his veins at the memory. "I didn't want you to get such a scar as well.." She subconsciously touched the skin under her bangs. Not really able feeling anything, but she knew it was there. The light streak, smaller but similar to his. "Did you also get stitches?" He laughed dryly. "Yeah, but only after a day. Cas was so pissed I didn't tell her earlier. Perhaps if I did it wouldn't have been as visible.." Soyeon hummed. Cassandra's words back then finally making sense to her now.

He felt her arms wrapping around his torso then, holding him tight as her cheek pressed against his spine. And he smiled at her warmth, covering her hands with his. "It's fine. I forgot about it anyway." She quietly let go again. Ready to go back to her tangerines when he suddenly pointed at something in the corner of the room. "Why you got a microphone?" Her eyes followed the direction his finger was pointing at, seeing her little set-up in the corner. He was changing topics, shifting the attention to her. She knew that and still played along. "Ah, to record demos after writing the lyrics." He turned around, shooting her an inquiring glance. "So you can also sing?" "A little bit, maybe," she shrugged, "Just enough for demos."

Yoongi pulled the shirt over his head, slipping it over his torso. Pushing back the strands of black hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. "If you can sing, why didn't you become a singer then?" he wondered out loud, not hiding the genuine curiosity. And it only grew when he saw her acting weird. Her eyes avoiding his as she let out a forced laugh. "Guess I just wasn't pretty enough to become one." Yoongi's brows furrowed at this, lips slightly parting since only more questions arose from her words. "Said who?" Clear irriation in his voice. Soyeon shrugged, pretending being nonchalant about it as she quickly turned around and headed to the door before he could manage looking through her facade. "People, I guess. It really doesn't matter anymore."

And a lump formed in her throat when she sat down at the kitchen table and she grabbed another tangerine. Unpeeling and shoving it between her lips in an attempt to swollow that lump. Although she had overcome it by now and knew the opinions and comments of those people back then didn't matter, it still hurt whenever she was reminded of those times.

She didn't need to look to know Yoongi came closer, eventually taking out a chair and sitting down beside her. The two remaining silent as she passed him a tangerine. Him wordlessly accepting it. He knew he must've hit a nerve when making her bring up this old story. But what upset him more was the thought how it seemed to still trigger something in her. He could tell by her usually sparkly eyes staring dully ahead.

"You know.." he slowly began then, peeking at her before focusing back on his tangerine, "That night back then, the night we met for the second time.." The girl perked up at this and she looked at him, questioning why he'd bring this up now. Watching him slide a wedge between his lips, waiting for him to continue. "You had that black dress on and then you turned around and you looked at me with this intense glare. You know what I thought?" The ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. Feeling warm at that memory. "What?" "That you looked quite different from what I remembered you from our first encounter." She laughed under her breath, shaking her head when remembering her running through the streets of Tainan in 40°C in nothing but her pyjama shorts and shirt. She must've looked insane. "That's what make-up and different clothes do, you know? Make you look different."

The guy huffed a smile at her smartass remark. Glancing at her side-profile then, he took in her every feature that was peeking behind black strands of hair falling onto her pixie-like face. The big brown eyes that resembled those of a curious cat, the cute straight nose that got hidden behind her hands whenever she got shy, the plum pouty lips where she'd stick her tongue out by habit.. How'd anyone think of her of not pretty enough? "You know what else I thought though?" She hummed, munching on the last piece of tangerine. "I thought you looked insanely beautiful." Soyeon almost choked on the fruit in her mouth, coughing frantically. And he patted her back to help her before she eventually managed swallowing it down. Taking a deep breath then, she shot him a lopsided smirk. "You really liked that dress, huh?" "It haunts me in my dreams." His serious tone followed by a wide cheeky grin made her fall into a fit of giggles.

She completely forgot about her gloomy mood, not able to contain her bubbly laugh and he laughed along with her. It had seemed worth confessing this little secret after all, she was smiling again.

Soyeon bit down her lips then, her laughs simmering down. Giggling lightly to herself then, she stretched her hands over the white table top. "You know what I thought when seeing you that night?" "No, what?" "Well, first of all I thought 'fck, I hope this guy doesn't plan to mug me'." It was his turn to burst out laughing and she smiled widely at this. Enjoying the sound of his laughter and the way his eyes formed crescends before he'd screw them shut. When he wasn't this serious and concerned guy, but just normal and carefree Yoongi. "And what was your second thought?" he asked with amusement. "'Fck, he's hot'." And an anew fit of laughter errupted from his lips and he threw his head back as he held his stomach. And Soyeon playfully hit his arm, stifling a laugh. "I mean it!" "I know, I know," he said in between as the chuckles became deeper and quieter. Pinching his nose they eventually dyed down and he held her gaze with a gentle smile then. "And I meant what I said as well." Nodding, she gave him a smile as well. Thankful of him reminding her again that those comments from back then didn't matter anymore and perhaps never had. "I know."

And for the rest of the day, they did what they had intended to. Spending the day together, just like normal people would. They played cards, arguing over who won as he kept winning. Making Soyeon complain that he'd be card counting to which Yoongi promised he didn't, although he could. Mentioning the countless times the gang had gambled in casinos around the world. And she'd listen to his stories in awe, asking for more. And they cooked or rather he did and she was just assisting. And they watched a film cuddled on the couch. And they kissed. And they laughed some more. And they kissed some more. And they made out. And eventually, they fell asleep in each other's arms only to wake up again from the nap and do it all over again.

They did everything two lovers would. But they weren't lovers. It hurt. But that was how things were. For the moment, at least. So they were happy about having that one day, where they could at least pretend.

And at the end of the day they laid in bed and he held her in his arms, fingers dancing over her smooth skin in an attempt to sooth his thoughts running wild. Pensive eyes resting at the dark ceiling above them and focusing on the warmth her body was providing under the covers. Feeling her heavy eyes fluttering close with her cheek pressed against his chest.His heartbeat in her ears lulling her. And as she drifted off to sleep, her smaller hand subconsciously gripped his shirt to prevent him from disappearing the next morning, although she knew he would.

"Goodnight, Yoongi." "Goodnight, angel."

»»»

When Soyeon's alarm went off on monday morning she woke up to an empty bed. Only now she knew he wouldn't appear with nothing but a towel and a polaroid camera again. She knew he had indeed left this time. And her chest ached, despite her knowing he had to.

The only evidence of the past weekend not having been a delusional dream was a piece of paper from her notepad she found on the nightstand. Her lips curled into a sad smile when picking it up. Heart full and yet so empty.

"I'll come back, I promise."

»»»

Kyoto, Japan

Jimin opened the door with a beaming face when seeing Yoongi standing there in front of their hide-out. A known tired look on the older guy's face after hours on the road and that in disguise. Even after so many years he still despised it because of how warm it could be under those masks. And then having to take the plane to Osaka and from Osaka the train to Kyoto. And on top of that he had to leavd Soyeon behind.

Naturally, he wasn't on his best mood. And Jimin could tell but that didn't keep him from giving him a welcoming hug and pulling him inside where Taehyung was currently slurping on a big portion of instant ramen. Brows raising from over the cup when seeing their friend.

He quickly stuffed the last noodles inside his mouth before swallowing and throwing him a wide grin. "Took you long enough, how was it at your parents'?" "Good," Yoongi simply nodded, letting his bag and katana slide from his shoulders he left them aside before joining him on the couch. He didn't feel like going too much into detail but overall it had been good. The whole weekend, in fact. And he had to bite back a smile. "So what's the plan?"

"Well," Jimin appeared from behind them, jumping over the couch's back and landing next to him in a swift move, "We already checked out that dude's mansion last night." "Quite the fancy place," Taehyung mused nodding, "Newest security systems and stuff." Yoongi hummed, tapping his finger on his knee. Nothing that they hadn't expected already. "I'll go check it out tonight as well. You guys got the blueprints?" "Not yet, I'll get them by tonight though," Jimin assured him while picking up his own cup of warm noodles that he had left on the table. Digging into it. "You know I ain't going there on Friday if I don't memorise every corner." Yoongi's gaze wandered between his two friends for a moment, dragging a sigh then. Maybe it was simply his mind being tired, but from the information they had gathered on the men inviting them, this might be a whole different level of their previous adventures. "You think we can make it?"

Jimin and Taehyung simultaneously paused eating, frowning at him. "We always make it." "And besides, we got an advantage." The older guy arched a curious brow at this. "Which is?" Jimin smirked with a wink. "They only know of me and Tae since we were the ones crashing the party." The noodles slid from his chopsticks as he pointed them at Yoongi. "They don't know about you." Taehyung leaned forward, joining in with a smir. "So we still got an ace up our sleeve."

Yoongi's eyes widened, not having thought about that. "You sure about this? They might know about me after all?" "I'm always sure about the things I say," Jimin huffed with mock-offence. Redirecting his attention to his ramen.

And Yoongi smiled with a nod. His eyes falling on the polaroid photo he slid out from his pocket.

Perhaps he'd be able keeping his promise after all.

»»»

next chapter: 1.8 here

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback! ♡ It motivates me to keep writing :)

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knickynoo · 1 year

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hi, i love your posts a lot and hope you're doing well!

you may have covered it before, but do you have any headcanons about the early years of doc and marty's friendship? i always find myself wondering how they went from a awkward employer and employee relationship, to the close bond we see them share in the films. i would love to know your thoughts!

Hello! Thank you; I hope you're also doing well :)

This kind of connects to an ask I had gotten a while ago about how long I thought it took Marty to fully trust Doc. My answer was: immediately, lol.

Basically, I don't think there was much (if any!) of an awkward period between them. In my head, it essentially went like this:

Doc *upon finding 14-year-old Marty had broken into his garage*: "Um. Hello, there. My name is Doctor Emmett Brown."

Marty: "Hey, I'm Marty."

Doc and Marty: *exchanging friendship bracelets*

I mean, in the comic book depiction of their initial meeting, Marty doesn't even care about discussing the pay Doc offers him. He says, "I'll be happy just to be the guy who knows Doctor Emmett L. Brown!" And. And! Doc's journals in the DeLorean Time Machine manual contain an entry written the day he meets Marty, where he writes, "I have a good feeling about the lad, and feel confident I can trust him." They are literally only hours post-meeting, and Doc has already put his full trust into this kid who snuck in through his window earlier that afternoon. Love it. Now for headcanons.

Obviously, Marty likes Doc from the get-go simply because he thinks he's really interesting and cool and smart, but I think--for Twin Pines Marty, at least--a lot of that initial connection comes from him being sort of starved for attention from a caring, adult figure. Every grown-up around Marty is dysfunctional. His father is oblivious and discouraging, his mother is a sad alcoholic, Biff is an abusive bully, and Strickland thinks Marty is a punk kid destined for a life of failure.

^^ I feel like this meme is fitting

Anyway, Marty then suddenly has this adult in his life who...likes him? Thinks he's smart and has potential? Doesn't talk to him like he's an idiot? I absolutely think that Marty was instantly like, "I am going to spend every possible waking moment here." Doc goes ahead and slaps the Flex Tape right over Marty's damaged self-esteem.

Those early first few months are filled with Doc slipping mini science lessons into all the time they spend together. Marty goes into the whole assistant gig with very limited knowledge, but he's eager to learn. Doc quickly figures out the best way Marty learns and absorbs information, and he gives him a lot of the basic facts and skills that he needs to be able to help around the lab.

I think it actually takes a while for Marty to open up about his family life. Doc has an inkling that home isn't such a great place, but he has no clue how to approach the subject and wonders if it's even appropriate to do so. They both dance around the topic for a long while until it all comes tumbling out of Marty one evening. Doc, having had his own unhappy relationship with his father, empathizes with his new friend, though I don't see Doc as being quick to share any stories of his own. He mostly avoids the subject when Marty tries to ask about his childhood (maybe just sharing stories of his mother). He does eventually talk about his father, but it's a tough thing to do.

Related to the above, I think Marty's little cot was an addition to the lab in those early few months of friendship. There were nights they were either working late, or Marty just didn't seem to want to go home, and Doc didn't want him having to sleep slouched in a chair or on top of a table. Marty walked into the garage one day, and there was suddenly a bed for him.

Contrary to the comics, I DO NOT headcanon that Doc gave that nickname to himself. Marty did, and it probably happened on day one or two of them knowing each other. He just went, "Yo, Doc," and Doc momentarily paused in brief confusion before going, "Huh, guess that's my name now." But Doc loves it because it's the first kind nickname he's ever been given.

From the moment Doc finds out Marty's a musician, he tells Marty he'd like to hear him play. Marty wants to be able to share his music with his new friend, but he's also really nervous. What if Doc thinks he stinks? Eventually, he builds up the courage and brings his guitar to the garage one night. He has Doc (and Einie's) full attention, and they both love his music. Doc is quite impressed with Marty's talent and encourages him to continue to build those skills and share his songs. Sometimes, Doc requests a certain song, and Marty does his best to learn to play it.

That's all I can think of at the moment! Thanks for the ask!

#asks #back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #doc brown

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friezagirl · 2 years

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I'm going back now to talk about Jake. :3 Since the first episode three reflections, three mirrors, and so on are shown, which therefore is a clear and tangible proof, signs that immediately show that there were three; I think Jake is shown a lot here. Which becomes obvious when Steven meets a museum tour guide who reminds him of their appointment the next day, Friday. It becomes obvious that it is Jake's work because: Marc is married, he loves Layla and then he didn't want to interfere in Steven's life so as not to arouse suspicion; and Steven was confused by the date, not to mention that he is vegan and instead the dinner was organized in a steakhouse. But this is a wonderful detail, because it immediately shows us a human side of Jake, for the rest he was shown to us more as a crazy psychopath eager to kill everyone, but, if he has made an appointment with a girl it means that he has had a love interest, or that in any case all that interests him is not just killing. Which makes me breathe a sigh of relief, I don't want them to make Jake a heartless monster, because he's not. Another interesting detail is the village in the first episode, Steven does not have a license, Marc we never see him driving (not even in episode 3 where Layla drives the van in the desert, it can also be plausible, more or less, but it is also a which got me thinking: Why don't we see Marc driving? Maybe the series wants to tell us something with this detail. Yes, okay, he was changing his clothes, but Layla says that Marc always acts like he's the leader, that he's always in charge, so either he doesn't drive because he was tired or because he's not very good at it? These are only hypotheses of course. Maybe there is nothing to explain and Marc and Layla then worked a lot of time together, so it is normal that they know how to play in a team.); ergo, was it Jake driving the cupcake van? I mean, we know he has a limo (even though the license plate has Spector lettering, which yes it's a comic book quote but which I can't fully understand: Marc has a limo or Jake prefers to use Marc's name even when it's him who's in control? However, I'm indulging in too much and maybe I'll talk about this later.) Okay, anyway, we don't know if Marc has a driver's license or not, just as we don't know if he has cars, but Jake does, and given his strong experience behind the wheel, I really hope and believe it was him in the first episode driving the cupcake van, and a couple of clues prove it that I will now list: Khonshu talking to Steven tells Marc to wake up, because here we are at the beginning, where their barrier worked, it was thick and separated them, and therefore he had control of the body who was awake, if Steven was awake Marc was asleep, or at least Marc said that you had to concentrate a lot to be able to stay awake and be able to watch what the other was doing and intervene. Then there is also the fact that Steven, first, when he tries to give the scarab to Harrow is attacked by his followers and has a blackout, when he wakes up there are dead people around him and covered in blood. And that doesn't make sense, because in episode 5, Marc, in the psychiatric room full of dead people, says he only killed the worst of the worst; and those Harrow followers were just fanatics but not criminals; so it is likely that Jake took action to protect the system. I keep thinking that, in the first episode, Marc got the beetle but falling off the tower he fell asleep because of the fall and from then on we could see mostly Steven and Jake collaborating and taking turns for as long as necessary. Maybe Marc only wakes up during a small scene, where he checks Steven's arms and legs and walks away because he doesn't want to deliver the beetle, I think (Or maybe it was Khonshu's magic that made Steven move like that, or maybe Khonshu himself trying to own Steven? Anyway ��).

Or maybe he also takes control while driving the van, but I don't know, I think it's more like Jake to be able to fight and drive at the same time given his experience, and then again, I highly doubt he killed those Harrow fanatics. It's not a Marc thing, but more of a Jake thing.

By the way, in the first episode we see that they don't use the costume, nor Marc and Steven, and some thought, I read, that it was because it was daytime, but it doesn't make sense, because in the comics and also in the last episode of the series, we see that they wear it even when it's sunny, so Marc doesn't use it at first because he probably didn't want Harrow to find out that they were Khonshu's avatar. I would say that I have said everything and maybe too much? Maybe I rambled elsewhere towards the end, boh, but I like to talk about Moon Knight so maybe I'll continue. And if you think I said something that you don't think is correct then please tell me, I love this show and I want to know as much as possible about anything that I left out. XD

#Moon Knight #Spoiler #Jake Lockley #Steven Grant #Marc Spector #Khonshu

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absainte · 2 months

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dear internet,

today i did work.

cleared out a server full of old projects that will never be finished. started on a new one and had a deep think on what to do with all those random websites that i have: i'm still undecided if to redo them as they are or archivise and make new ones. it depends on what ends up being more convenient. unfortunately, i broke the aws instance when updating it (due to me not doing it for a very long while) ... oops.

on life front - i have myself a g o a l (tm) a few weeks ago and researched it to death, then moved onto assembling contacts and ... the project is over before it even started. accidentally, comically randomly, managed to accomplish it. i have always overanalysed everything and considered every option and every possibility but it turns out my random impulses are most trustworthy. my g o a l was being worked on by my brain long before i even established it, so all of my radom whims ended up a logical chain of events but everyone is smart in hindsight. not that i ever was clever, just lucky.

i still miss my old life, because habits die hard and i liked long walks by the sea that led me to asda or a very nice café on brighton marina. i wish i could see the dogs and ex's family and to be fair - maybe we all will eventually recover and remain good friends. as for ex himself - i sort of established what happened to him as he was dropping breadcrumbs on the trail - it is still a theory but it seems he ran off with his coworker (considering the man's job was immovable and he did move after raging at me for asking if ex ever made it to work) as a weird glitch via google shown me their calendar ages ago. i was nice and told them that it was unsecure, pretending that i had no clue who i was writing to. it still barely makes any sense but just before everything went down - they all went to a really weird event that was in a private house. the college never did that but back then i barely thought anything of it.

no clue if there even was an event, but i accidentally came across messages sent during it. my brain hardly recall the year before but i remember having had been uneasy without a reason. turns out, there was one that had been impossible to guess for me back then - ex was describing the house they all were in and ... it was literally my old house (forgotten until i had a heart failure). the architecture in south of england might slightly match it but the interior was very museum-like and illogical so nobody sane would have arranged their home this way. ex was really fascinated by a chessboard by the entryway, just at the front of the house and we had it there due to how the spot had the best lighting to play at any time of the day.

the thing is - ex never seen my old house. he had a talent of knowing things about me that i had forgotten and to be fair - i don't want answers to this, because i feel they would suck more than learning about them is worth.

and i'm trying to unsuck everything (erm ... yes ... marvell at my great pun!) which is a slow, weird and unfun process in a world full of misery and horror but i can finally settle and relax. life's never going to be easy nor is the world gonna be great nor but one can make a place for themselves.

poetic, innit?

sidenote: one thing that i'm unsure how to do is updating ex's friends and people that known him, because there no real update besides me learning he is not dead from the bith certificate archives. everything i written about was a theory while the facts are unchanged with him being missing-but-not-really (he did inform the police he is not, like many people that vanish) and nobody being able to reach him. so, i'll leave it as i stewed in all of this for far too long.

#mememe.txt

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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For the most recent post doing my ask about Maui! (5/12/21, or 12/5/21 for the American date system I think)

Yes!! With these types of oc's they are generally parts/all of you and that can help you figure a lot of stuff out, alternatively people make oc's the opposite of themselves because of self esteem issues!! Maui is simultaneously someone I want to be, someone I do not ever want to be, and someone to help me work through my problems efficiently if I remember he exists (kinda)

It's nice being able to imagine yourself in experiences that you will never know, without it being you. I find it quite pleseant, myself.

Yes!! More characters need poor memory!! Like yeah it's more work on the author but still, I find that it'd be much more realistic to have a character forget about the Important Object entirely and make it work with literally everything else and realise hours later that it could've been so much easier

And u don't hold that against you for his name!! A lot of people do!! I just happen to vaguely remember the stories we were told in primary school and remembered this kid in primary (He was kind of a dick but whatever) called Maui. And it depends on the day!! Mostly!! He went through a real rough patch where he was basically drugged up for a while after his wife died and had a general disdain for the law when he was younger (2nd/3rd time, I'm still revising everything with this so it's all subject to change), but he is definitly getting better and going to therapy. He is definitly leaning towards chaos incarnate but full of love (I wouldn't call him stupid but his smart is the hyperfocus kind of smart so he is really only intelligent when it comes to machines and small other things but for the most part there are no thoughts. Like he is absolutly a genius, he could probably cure cancer kind of genius, but he cannot comprehend normal life properly. Everything is too loud and he wants tk do everything at once or nothing at all and sometimes he wants to do something but he can't and either starts things much too early or finishes them right before the deadline, or hyprfocuses on his machines.) But yes!! He would give off big himbo vibes. Like even if he looked all tough and scary it would immediatly be remidied by his almost comical love for his pocket mirror and his general politeness. He thinks he's figured out social situations.

Ok so the mother didn't care about him and that was like. Her big drug rage because he looks quite similar to his dad who called her out on her bullshit and left without another word and was. Not very sane. By the time she was sober enough to realise what she did, Maui had stopped the bleeding with his knowledge of basic first aid and snuck out of the house to the town healer (No emergency services unfortunately, and no growing limbs back, either) and had started to work on his metal arm. Why did he have to go straight to prosthetics? Because he all but ran after his mum did that and has no clue what she did with his arm.

As for the world he's in, I'm imagining it's a sort of prehistory thing but all accounts of magic being able to be used have been destroyed and are. Long gone. I'll have to send in another ask explaining what I've done with the world so far but yeah. The short of it is: Magic is the life-force/soul that sustains every living thing and a civilization figured out how to use it to their advantage, either through some being able to use their own life force to create these miracles, or by combing the forces of others into potions and foods. Maui (named Viktor when he was a child the first time round) was born with the ability to do magic and accidently learnt how to make his machines come to life. The full extent of it was lost to him, all he cares about was that he could zap his inanimate bird and then it would fly around and generally live, even if he felt very drained and somewhat naustious afterwards. Maui directly ties into how this civilization fell, but that's for the other post.

And yeah!! Honestly I would love the occasional magic creature. Just animals in general. And yes!! Building your own family is great!! Found family with machines and magical creatures. And yeah, Maui went "Welp, if it's gonna take up all of my thoughts all day every day then I might as well get money from it." and he did. Probably not legally for the first lot of it, but he did. And steampunk is so cool!! I dknt know many punk aesthetics but I like that one a lot. Solarpunk sounds like a vibe, imma go look up what it is real quick after I send in this ask!

And yess, children need to be protected at all costs.

I only vaguely remember that kid now but!! He is so cute!! Also the embodiment of Maui trying to make scones!! He has no clue why, but he just can't make them. If they're underbaked, he puts them in the oven to keep baking, but then they burn. If they aren't underbaked, they're burnt. On the rare occasion they aren't underbaked or burnt, they always taste horrible and that is enough to quell Maui's celebrations. The worst attempt was the time that he basically turned scones into rocks, buried them, came back a few years later and they hadn't decomposed! It's a fun story for him to tell. He keeps them in a glass case in his walk in closet.

And yes, why wouldn't this kid have to microwave them longer, if they're smoking then that means they're close to melting, you should have let him microwave them longer /j

Oh, he's tried being shorter all right! He did not succeed. But he tried! He's gotten so used to it that he barely notices it anymore. He just bonks his head into the door frames and carries on. Obviously he's paid for his doorframe to be taller, but for everywhere else...

I hope it does too! I do want to make it legitimate but still keep it fitted in with everything. I feel like he'd be quite insecure about it and feel a sense of resentment everytime he saw it so he would do everything in his power to forget, but with time he comes to drop all the things he uses to hides it and just accepts his arm. I forgot that researching was a thing that I could do but I will deifnitly do it and his arm will probably be revised somewhat! But for now, whenever he meets friends of friends he has a nice time of shaking their hand and subtly detaching his arm and leaving them holding onto it, he's got a slip that makes it look and feel like a real arm. Or it's magic. I haven't decided.

Ayyy, forgetful buddies! I forgot I even sent in this ask!! Oh, I'm sure he has lost it in the bathroom before. I say lsot but he jsut forgot he left it there. He probably took it off to shower and left it on the sink and walked right passed it once he was finished. He freaked out once he realised, though, and eventually found it.

I don't know what noodle vibes mean but for the rest, absolutly. His favourite places to just flop down and sleep include his couch and outside on the grass. If he is tired and his body let's him sleep, he sleeps. Doesn't matter where.

Pets!! More characters in published media need pets. Like average pets. Like a cat or a bird or something. Like, even of its a magical cat. Cats basically teleport anyway so I don't see the big deal. And yes!! He loves his lizard and cat!! And he often ignores the legality of something, for better or for worse

Aww, so she's like the lizard then. Except the vocal bit. But ahhh she sounds amazing!! I love it!! Bart is purposefully chaotic and is probably the incarnation of evil but is quick to comfort Maui if he's upset and will jump into Hemo's enclosure to drag him over to help.

I will tell him! He would be very happy to teach you and would frantically shove lots of blueprints in your arms and keep blabbering about it and forgetting to pause for a breath, and would try slow down and clarify anything if need be.

Yeah, I think I'm slowly figuring out my style! Writing isn't something I do often so I think it's going a lot slower than drawing, but that's ok! It makes sense! And yeah, I'm almost scared to lock him into a storyline and make things about him 'canon', I like the fluidity I have with him, but I do also want to share an authentic him with the world! But that requires a lot more planning about the type of world he would be in and how he would fit into the story. Maybe I could just write a bunch of au's about him next to the main story. I can be my own fandom.

Also wow this is so long! I have spent more than 40 minutes on this!! Its truly a feat of mine. And yeah!! You've been busy and have other asks to get to, so that all makes sense! And yay!! Also I have revised the writing I did of Maui from the outside and made it generally more comprehensible but this ask is getting long so I'll just put it in its own ask.

And yes!! It's fun!! I'm someone who grows attached to a character so making more than one meaningful character is hard, but yeah!! I birthed him with my thoughts and words!! My advice would to try do some of those '40 questions for/about my character' if you haven't already! I don't think I've done one for Maui but it would be fun, I think

-Heathen

heathen! hello! It has been a fair amount of time since you sent this in, so thank you for your patience. Also, how dare you put dates on these and reveal to the world just how far in the past some of my asks are /j (this one is my oldest aside from oh shit just remembered two in my drafts. well, aside from those this is my oldest so they're not all this old!!)

(also i'm putting this under a cut to save space)

Honestly I think the best way to write characters is if they are a part of you, regardless of whether you want to be them or not. it helps when writing them so much to be able to understand the reasons they do the things they do, even if it's a part of yourself you don't like very much. People are patterns! People are consistent, even if you can't find the pattern or recognize your own patterns. So even if you don't like it, finding a pattern and creating one to build a character or their traits off of is so helpful, and can even be cathartic, to give your issues to someone who doesn't exist and let them act according to the patterns, and then learn from them without the irl consequences. I could give so many examples but I don't want to take up space.

And it is really nice to imagine people like you in scenarios you won't be in. It's like ah...the possibility. I personally don't like to include myself in my daydreams--it feels wrong--but sprinkling pieces of myself into the world and the characters and their decisions and their interests, it's like I am the daydream. I'm not just a character in it, but everything about that world and the people in it are mine and something about that is very thrilling.

Characters with poor memory my beloved!! there are some situations where it doesn't make sense--like kotlc and Sophie with her photographic memory--but otherwise, people have awful memories a lot of the time and it would be interesting to see how that affects the story when the character can't just suddenly put together the clues at a really dramatic time. Or to see the different ways they work in order to deal with their memory. Just a few hours ago I realized I needed to bring a form to a place tomorrow, and that in order to bring it there it needed to be in my bag. but it was on the desk. So I had to within moments of realizing that take initiative to put it near my bag and on top of objects that are essential for me leaving the house tomorrow so I wouldn't forget it. it all came down to like five seconds, and it would be nice to see characters do that too!!

also wow you threw a lot of information at me right there and I am still processing all that but--he had a wife?? I don't know why that stands out to me so much I guess he seems younger in my brain, but congrats--wait no something bad happened to his wife not congrats. I'm glad he's getting help that works for him, though! "chaos incarnate but full of love" is my brain on a regular basis. I'm sure I'm not nearly as chaotic as Maui, but I will appreciate from afar as he wreaks havoc on the world entirely by accident. And being really smart about really specific things is an entirely vibe and I love it!! Though the trying to do things but brain says you can't is always annoying to deal with, so hopefully he's not suffering too much. You really went "he is incredibly neurodivergent" and I think that's incredible <33 I'm curious what makes him fond of his pocketwatch tho--

his mother is...definitely something! I'm wondering how long that drug induced rage was if he had time to do all that and also literally start building himself a replacement arm before she came down from it. I don't know a lot about recreational (or in this case maybe escapist) drug usage, but I feel like that would be...a very long high. But all that to say that's an intense childhood for Maui, like damn my dude do you need a hug??

and worldbuilding!! yay!! that's one of my favorite things to look at in a story: the world it's set in or has been created for it. From what you're saying so far, it sounds incredible! A world based on magic that can be harnessed and is tied to at least one person if not more. I won't get into all of it as you said you would send another, so I'll save my enthusiasm for there!! I can't remember at the moment if you have sent it, but either way!!

magical creatures are just yes all around. I mean, normal creatures are cool too, but like magic!! I love magic and fantasy and the impossible!! and just all the ways magical creatures can exist is so satisfying and fascinating and I love them,,so much. Found family that includes a magical creature is something that can actually be so personal. I'm glad he was also able to make money do what he enjoys, even illegally! honestly sometimes we all just gotta let loose and commit a few crimes. Petty theft, money laundering, tax evasion, you know (/j). I don't know a lot about punk aesthetics either, but I do know I enjoy them a lot and when looking at all the different kinds I agree with solarpunk ideology the most (and also like the aesthetic). But if I start talking about i'll take up a lot of space and also there are many people with a lot more knowledge than me!! Though I do hope to learn more when I can

characters who had really rough childhoods seeing children and deciding to do what they can to prevent another child from experiencing what they did....oh I love them so much. I have a few ocs like that and it's !! there's something about becoming the person who could've saved you when you were hurting that just so satisfying and evocative. Even when expressed through scones!! I will be honest i never understand the appeal of characters that are bad at cooking/baking because like...follow the recipe? You have a specific set of instructions to follow and then you'll get the result you want how are you messing that up. But you do you!! I hope Maui enjoys his not decomposed scones in a class case in the closet. that's a very specific detail of his character but I love it!!

(also the whole house smelled like smoke and that kid was just like ah yes let's do the exact same thing to see if it will solve the problem. I haven't seen those kids in forever but I jokingly told them that birds were their cousins and kept bringing it up and apparently they were repeating that even months later...maybe I shouldn't be around kids)

The benefits of being short: you can always increase your height! The benefits of being tall: ???? bonk. I hope he doesn't bonk his head too often, or that he has like a helmet he can wear when he's in public to absorb the shock of the bonk.

also slipping off his arm so that other people are holding it when they shake hands is incredible. just the absolute power that holds like..I am in awe. I don't know how much if any research you've done since you sent this but!! I hope it goes/is going well! I'm kinda in a similar situation with the wings au because I'm trying to make Dex's wings authentic to how prosthetics work in the human world so as not to erase that, while also acknowledging that his is an entirely different species that does everything different and so things would be different. Either way I wish you luck!

Forgetful buddies!! Sometimes things are super important and you're constantly trying to find ways to remember what they are, while other times it's just *shrug* and wait for it to come back to you. At any given point in time I assume there's something I'm forgetting or supposed to do that I'm not and I've just accepted it at this point. I don't think I've ever forgotten my arm in the bathroom, but I wouldn't put it past myself to do exactly that.

excellent news I also don't know what noodle vibes means. i just know it is correct and that he has them. as for sleeping anywhere...well at least he's sleeping!! that's something. Hopefully he's also well-rested, but he might be too chaotic to be. or, he's the kind of person who has the same amount of energy no matter how long he sleeps and can get through an entire day just fine on 4 hours of energy (though usually it starts to catch up with you towards the end in my experience as one of these people)

pets! more characters need them, and as a cat person I would very much like more characters to have cats whether they're magical or not. Dogs are fine they just...they make a lot of noises that really mess with me and I cannot!! process that!! I really wish I could but the moment a dog starts barking and growling I want to throw them off a cliff or strangle them to get the noise to stop, and since I can't then I just zone out really hard until they're quite. Cats do not make the icky dog sounds though!!

I'm glad you seem to like my cat! I happen to have a fondness for her, and Bart sounds incredible as well. I do not know a lot about Bart but I love him and wish him the best in his endeavors of being Maui's pet. that cannot be an easy task

I may not understand anything Maui says at first or the blueprints but I will listen dutifully along!! as for finding your writing style, that can take a while so the more you write the more opportunities you have to explore the language!! and even though put him to words can feel like locking him down, sometimes it helps to remember that drafts exist and this is just the first time you're writing it. You could write it 50 more times if you needed to! You can always go back and change things in your quest to share him with the world. And nothing is stopping you from writing your own aus!! I've done something kinda similar with an original story of mine where I take different characters and put then in other worlds and stories to experiment with how I want to write them, but it's not canon in the slightest. those two don't belong in space I just put them there temporarily.

and yep this is pretty long!! I've spent about 65 minutes answering it!! though parts of that were me getting distracted and doing other things for a minute or two but!! that's not the longest I've ever spent on an ask but it's up there. and I think I saw that you sent me the writing you mentioned, so I'll answer that later! I don't know exactly when as I'm trying to balance many things and asks at the moment, but I will get to it!

I also get very attached to specific characters and worlds. I have this whole set of like six or seven ocs that I really want to write about but whenever I start to think about them I get drawn back to this otehr group of five and i'm like wait, brain, the other people!! I'll get to them eventually though. And I might look at some of those questionaires!! Those characters are in need of some heavy remodeling, so i'd definitely need some of those basic questions to start over with.

this was a lot of information but thank you for sharing!! it's wonderful to learn more about maui and you at the same time!!

#ocs go brrr #hearing about yours always makes me wanna work on mine #I never do but the desire is there #one day I will get back to them...#I have like over 100.000 words about them and still I know so little #I have vague ideas though #but thank you for all the maui information!!!#you're more than welcome to talk about him and his world anytime #quil's queries #heathen nonsie #other's ocs

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