#next week i want to do a video for to sleep in a sea of stars by christopher paolini

[wkdwtchoftheest]

I released my book review for The Road by Cormac McCarthy!

I think I did better in this video than the last (meaning I actually wrote a script, lol).

#you can see me looking at my script occasionally #and then often #im sure ill get better as i do this more #but ive been having fun doing this so far #next week i want to do a video for to sleep in a sea of stars by christopher paolini #ill try to get that done this week #if not itll have to wait for next week and this week ill do a wrapup and october tbr

[girlactionfigure]

AFFECT OF HAMAS FOOTAGE ON ME

LEE KERN

NOV 8

Only woke up from nightmares twice last night. I’m getting better…

Last week I attended a private press screening of footage from the Hamas atrocities. It was 47 minutes of footage recorded by Hamas themselves and captured on CCTV. You can read an account of it here. Attendees weren’t allowed to take phones or recording equipment into the screening. I had a notepad and pen. I sat down in my seat. The entire wall in front of me was a screen.

The film started. The footage was objectively distressing - but I was surprised and impressed with myself that I was immediately okay watching it. I was focused so hard on writing down what I saw that I wasn’t emotionally connecting with the footage. I didn’t have time. I had a job to do. I didn’t gaze too deeply at the HD quality images onscreen as I had to look down at my notepad to scribble notes. I felt like crying a couple of times - when they did something to a baby - or when they did something to a child - but I pushed that down to continue the job - and I was impressively okay. 

I left the screening not really remembering much of what I’d seen. I thought, “Oh wow - I got away with that okay. I can’t even picture anything I saw.”

Later I had a pizza and a walk along the sea front. I made a guy in a shop laugh. 

That night I burst into tears. 

The next day I had to go get a sim card for my phone and I pulled my hat low over my eyes as I burst into uncontrollable sobs while walking the streets. There was sunshine and people sat outside cafes and I was just unable to stop myself sobbing. Deep sobs coming from my chest and my eyes streaming. I sniffled like a child while walking down the street. I couldn’t make it go away. I thought one good cry would get it out my system, but more whimpers and tears just came out of my chest. I was whimpering. And there were images in my mind now. I remembered everything. I saw things Hamas did. Things I don’t have the language or life experience to compute. I was baffled. I don’t understand what I saw. But every part of my body on a cellular level was rejecting it as the most wrong thing that could happen under the sun. It was an accumulaton of every piece of evil since Cane killed Abel. Hamas had mastered the art of sin. And they had conquered morality. They stood in a place where humans were not meant to stand. Where they are no longer human. They were free of all human shackles. They had achieved a power that transcended human frailty but became monstrous in the process. 

Things went like this for the next few days. I’d break into an instantaneous sob. I often didn’t even have an image in my mind when I burst into tears. The screening would be mentioned and something in me happened that bypassed any kind of thought. My head would just bow in tears. I went to stay with some family. They picked me up and within ten seconds of being in the car I burst into tears when asked what I’d been up to. Being in a family home and around normal things was a useful antidote. But I’d still break into debilitating sobs when I recalled what Hamas did or if someone tried to speak to me about it. 

It was also confusing and annoying. I wasn’t depressed! But yet I’d break into tears. I didn’t understand it. I wasn’t depressed but I’d cry like a broken man.

I’d had no sleep since I got to Israel. That obviously didn’t help. I’d visited a kibbutz that had experienced a massacre. That didn’t help. But still I thought I’d be okay. 

The video fucked me up against me will. 

The human brain has built no immunity against the things Hamas filmed. 

It put some kind of splinter in my head. But simply being aware of that and wanting it to be out didn’t mean it would come out. 

I thought I’d improve as days went by but my outbursts seemed to be just as intense. I worried if things continued like this I’d have some kind of mental breakdown. 

I didn’t want to keep seeing what they did to that man.

I was also frustrated because I’d come to Israel to help and I didn’t want to be taken out of the fight with a mental injury. The particular skillset I have means I have to stay immersed in all the ugly shit. I wish I could just pack food for soldiers. If I can communicate well it’s because I’m sensitive and stuff flows into me. I become what I see. People have been demanding my time and I’m trying to help as much as possible but it was getting difficult to be useful to them or myself. In this spirit I didn’t have any macho pride. I’d openly tell people I wasn’t feeling great and didn’t feel shy if I cried in front of them. I didn’t really have a choice. I just wanted to try and find a way to temporarily shovel shit out of my head so I can keep being of service.

The other night I had to move accommodation. I hired an airbnb but then a friend of a friend offered for me to stay at their place whilst they were away. I cancelled the airbnb and I arrived at the accommodation. It was night and I met a neighbour who had the key. We went up the dark stairwell and everything felt off. It was a world of flickering lights and mosquitos. We stood outside the apartment as she searched for the key. There was this terrible noise above us. “What’s that?” “That’s the arabs upstairs drilling.” We went inside and the occupants had left the house a total mess. It all felt grim to me. And the sound of drilling continued upstairs. And the world felt like cockroaches. And I knew once the door shut behind me this would be the most awful night alone. So I plucked up the courage and overcame my politeness and said I can’t stay there. I called a friend and asked them to find me a hotel.

Whilst that was being arranged I waited in the apartment of the woman with the keys and her baby. Toys were everywhere. I was trying to politely respond to her conversation as a cartoon about trains was playing, but I was quietly managing a panic attack as I saw in my mind dead people on her floor amongst her baby’s toys and lying by the fluttering curtains. 

Arranging the hotel was taking time and it was getting late. 

In that time a family friend phoned and I started crying to them. Their daughter then messaged and said I could stay with them so I stayed at hers for the night, cried a few times in conversation, and had my first rocket experience - going into a safe room twice. I got about one hours sleep after trying to kill some mosquitos at four am.

The next afternoon I got a bit better because I tried not to talk about war things with people. I tried to give more territory in my mind to healthy things. I got an hours sleep in the day. I felt better when I transitioned from fear to healthy anger in a video - which was a relief because I was pushing my feelings outwards rather than crumbling inwards. I spoke to a lawyer friend who has worked on cases involving war crimes and has seen things. I got a good night’s sleep and felt good in the morning. I had a few moments of anxiety overcome me during the day. But it feels like they’re becoming less frequent and less powerful. I did cry again after speaking to a pair of siblings whose sister has been kidnapped and who asked me if I’d seen the video. When we hugged goodbye in tears it felt like the first real hug I’ve had since I’ve been here. 

A trauma therapist kindly arranged to see me for free. And time passing seems to be helping. I’m glad I reacted badly because it means I’m a normal healthy human being. A healthy person should be horrified. Only an insane or wicked person could be comfortable with the crimes Hamas committed. 

I don’t know what the language is yet to describe what I saw. I’m not sure what the vocabulary is. They did things that I don’t understand. I don’t understand how they did the things they did. I saw them do things and I don’t understand how they did it. To be able to do what they did is almost a superpower. It’s a superpower I don’t want. To be able to do they things they did and feel nothing but happiness. To be able to inflict that level of cruelty and be utterly indifferent to the people crying.

This is an account of how I’ve been affected. I wasn’t even there. I’m not even a family member of someone taken hostage. I wasn’t on a kibbutz hiding. I haven’t had to bury someone. 

God only knows how the victims will get through this. I can only hope He does know and He doesn’t keep it to Himself. 

We need to help the victims. There has to be an international coalition of love to help them through this. 

As for the terrorists?

I don’t believe in the death penalty, but I believe those Hamas involved in the atrocities have to die. I hope the IDF kill them all. I hope they die in the sun or underground in darkness. I hope they die awake or asleep. I hope they die by bullets or bombs. They cannot be allowed to infect the world with their actions or words. I still don’t understand what I saw in the footage Hamas shot. I can only repeat myself: there is no vocabulary for it. It is almost a superpower to be able to behave the way they did. A superpower I don’t want. To commit such acts of evil - such inventive cruelty - and to have no pangs of empathy or conscience. They look like us and they have hands and legs - but they’re not us. They have eyes but the windows into their souls go into a charnel house where they wash themselves with skulls. We can’t share this world with whatever they are or whatever is inside them. They didn’t open a gate to hell. They are hell. And hell smiled to see its work. They want to devour anything that is not them. Which is any human incapable of doing what they did to women, children and babies for thirty six hours.

They mastered the art of sin and it is something no human should have ever learned to do, because now there are monsters among us. We cannot share the planet with them.

#Israel #October 7 #hamas Massacre #Lee Kern

[stardustluvs]

Hi, I loved your writing for Nolan✨️✨️

Is your order open? If not, you can disregard this ask

my idea: after recording "7 days drifting at sea" Nolan arriving home and just wanting to rest his girlfriend. I need more Nolan stuff! he is so funny and cute

Fighting Sleep - Nolan X Reader

Word Count: 838

Pairing: Nolan Hansen x fem!Reader

Summary: What the req says

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: Am I the Nolan blog yet?

Requests are open! || masterlist

It had already been nearly an hour since Nolan’s been home, and he was visibly exhausted. You couldn’t really blame him either. He had been gone a whole week on a raft in the middle of the sea, and you hadn’t really had a way to keep in contact with him.

He hugged you for what felt like ten years, not that you were complaining, the second he saw you.

It was probably the longest you two had been apart since you started going out, and it was only for a week, which really spoke volumes. Who was to blame you though? You were basically attached at the hip. You had been invited to nearly every video set, and it was very rare that you declined, just because you wanted to be near Nolan.

You did however, decline the offer for this video. It didn’t appeal to you at all and you had no desire to drift at sea for a week, not when you had your own things to tend to here at home. You didn’t even really want Nolan to go, but for whatever reason, he accepted Jimmy’s offer.

Currently it was going on eight pm, and the house fell silent as you laid cuddled up with Nolan in your shared bedroom. A movie played softly on the TV, but you were positive neither of you were paying attention. He was too busy running a hand through your hair gently, or whispering to you about how much he missed you.

“I wish you were there, but I’m also glad you weren’t,” He laughed softly.

You tilted your head up a little to look at him. You moved up slightly to kiss his cheek.

“I’m glad I wasn’t there either,” You responded, poking fun at the fact that you knew it could not have been enjoyable, judging by the fact that Nolan just seemed so drained.

“Why don’t you sleep, you’re tired,” You told him.

He just shook his head, “I just want to lay here with you,” He replied, trying to hide the fact that he yawned almost immediately after.

You gave him a knowing look but decided to not push, knowing that he’d be out like a light soon enough. You were just waiting for it to happen.

He kissed the top of your head before you snuggled back up to his chest. You wished he never left, and you were just so glad to have him back in your space.

His arms which had been wrapped around your body squeezed you lightly. If you hadn't known that he was tired before, you would have figured he was exhausted by now.

You glanced up at him again, watching him fight sleep. You noticed the way his eyes would shut for a few moments before he would open them again, over and over.

"Sleep, Nol..." You whispered, "I'll still be here in the morning," You reassured.

"No, I'm fine, I wanna stay up with you for a bit longer," He insisted, shifting a little as a way to try to keep himself awake.

"From what I heard, you barely slept at all this week, don't keep yourself exhausted," You said, offering a slight laugh at the end of your sentence, trying to prove how ridiculous he was being.

He just shook his head and you rolled your eyes, "Tell me about your week," He said.

"Just hung around, missing you. Wondering why on Earth you wanted to do this video," You teased.

He knew it definitely was not a video for everyone, but he appreciated the challenge and knew it couldn't be so bad as long as his friends had been there with him. He did feel a little iffy about drifting at sea with no way to expect what would happen next, but Jimmy had reassured him at least twenty times that everything would be completely under control.

Well, everything but the weather.

The weather was the worst part, and he's surprised he didn't end up sick from being out in the rain like that, or even the heat.

"I missed you too, a lot," He replied, "I'm glad I get to be home now."

You were glad too. If you could, you'd never let him leave your side, but that was unrealistic, and you refused to be that kind of girlfriend. He reminded you of how he appreciated you nearly every day.

After a few beats of silence, you noticed the way his breathing slowed. You felt his arms loosen around your body, and you smiled to yourself.

You smiled softly at him before reaching down and pulling the blankets over the two of you a little higher. You shifted slightly, getting comfy before shutting your eyes.

Honestly, you hoped he'd never leave for something like that again, but you knew it was inevitable, and as long as was enjoying himself. Though, you didn't quite see the appeal in drifting in open water for a week straight, but to each their own.

"Goodnight, Nolan."

#mcyt #x reader #mcyt x reader #mrbeast crew #mrbeast crew x reader #mrbeast crew fluff #nolan hansen #nolan hansen fluff #nolan hansen x reaeder #nolan hansen x reader fluff #drabble #blurb #fluff #fluff blurb #fluff drabble #x reader fluff #kit’s requests

[thegoldenphig]

Next to me

for smosh amangela week @zillaphoneswag

day 6: cute jealousy

You're not supposed to fall in love with your soulmate co-worker best friend. But then again, this was Smosh.

read on ao3

"Hey Amanda," Courtney sang in a character voice.

It was 7:15 am on a shooting day. Nobody else but Ian and Tommy were at the office yet, but they were watching stuff on Ian's phone and didn't pay attention. Amanda was making coffee, but now she turned her attention to Courtney.

"Oh, hello! Who have we here?"

"Tis I, the bringer of hot, scorching tea." Courtney did a little ballet dance around Amanda. She wore baggy clothes today, with her short haircut and glasses.

"Okay, okay, spill?"

"Well, have you noticed you always sit next to Angela in videos lately? There hasn't been a single one where there was someone in between you the last month."

Amanda actually didn't know. Or she hadn't noticed at least. It was so natural to have Angela at her side. They would always be joking, touching, hugging... it was great to have her 'soulmate' next to her, as Angela had declared "a soulmate can be a friend!"

"Is that the tea you're spilling, then?"

"No, it's just that there was someone who requested you always sit next to each other. Do you want to know who it is?"

"Is it... Is it Ian? No? Spencer? Kiana?"

Courtney kept shaking their head.

Tommy yelled, "Oh my god Ian, that's the worst thing I've ever seen! Please just... pour bleech in my eyes or something..."

Ian laughed and continued to show him whatever horrors he had on his phone this time.

Amanda ignored them.

"Then who?"

Courtney had that look in their eyes they usually reserved for when they were with Ian and Anthony.

"Angela requested it herself! She just always wants to sit next to you, she said!"

"Awwe, that's so cute! Oh my god, I'm gonna cry that's so sweet! I want to co-request it if you don't mind! Can we just always sit next to each other in every video?"

"Sure thing, honey."

Courtney tiptoed away again.

Amanda was genuinely moved. What a cute thing to request. She smiled and chuckled inwardly. She fondly remembered Angela clinging on to her, eyes closed as she loudly guessed the answers in a gaming video. She remembered snuggling on the couch together while Shayne read Reddit stories. And when they had fake-kissed in the Love is Blind episode. She swallowed, but kept smiling and just took a deep breath. Yeah, all better. You're not supposed to fall in love with your soulmate co-worker best friend. But then again this was Smosh.

Amanda continued to make coffee. It was Ian's "my favorite coffee" and it was delicious. She just took a sip, when Angela entered the room. She was beautiful in a black sweater and baggy jeans. She greeted Courtney and Ian and Tommy and Spencer, who also had just gotten there. But all the while, she looked at Amanda, smiling back at her.

"Amanda! How was your weekend?"

Amanda put her coffee on the counter and hugged Angela.

"It was great, I went to the beach with my sister."

"Your hair still smells like the sea."

"What, like rotting seaweed?"

"No! I mean like a... a fresh sea breeze."

"You're cute. What did you do?"

"I just slept. Gotta save my strength for this week, right!"

"Oh, sleep is the best thing to do on the weekends! Nothing beats it, really."

Amanda went to make coffee for Angela. When she gave her a cup, she decided to tell her she knew.

"So, you requested we sit next to each other, huh?"

"What? I, uh, I don't know! Maybe?"

Angela blushed.

"Ow!"

She had spilled some of her coffee.

"Oh nooo you just got your arm out of the sling! Be careful, babe!"

"Okay, I guess I'll put my hand under the faucet now," Angela grumbled, still blushing.

"It's just, I want to be the one next to you. If you sit next to someone else, I get kinda jealous? I know, it's weird. But yeah. I love it when you sit next to me."

"Ang! That's so cute I can't deal. Don't worry, I've doubled down your request to Courtney. From now on, we sit together, always!"

"Really? You don't find it weird?"

"Not weirder than I already think you are, you little freak!"

"Shut up."

It was time to film their first video of the day. They walked into the studio together, hand in hand.

#amangela #smosh #amangela week #I know I keep posting these at midnight but that's the only time I am free lmao

[harrylovesteas]

xoxo , little bird .ᐟ ( modern hotd )

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ the end of a chapter.

summery : you and your two best friends are preparing to move to king’s landing for the summer. as always , helaena is always right.

rating : mature , this chapter will include drug use and mature language.

hello , my little birds , i know , i have been silent for sometime now. i’ve seen your messages that have piled up over the last few months , and i can promise i have not abandoned you. i’m sure our lovely nobles have been praying to the seven that i would not return. but , alas , i am not here for them. of course , i take pride in exposing their affairs and showing all of their nasty flaws. but i’m the pride of smallfolk , i live to show you all that all of your ‘idols’ are nothing more than the worst of the seven kingdoms.

now , that is is summer and all of our favorites are swarming the capital once again , what can we expect this summer , i wonder? i’ve seen several questions whether i suspected that our favorite mysterious prince would reunite with the baratheon sisters after their orgy , but i do not think this will happen. several little birds in storm’s end informed me that floris and cassandra have not gotten along since they shared our prince. aegon , on the other hand , i’ve seen he’s already started his partying along the streets of silk with some of the locals’ favorite dancers. i’m sure our lovely queen will be paying off the tabloids to make sure all the videos and photos do not leak into the media , but do not fear , the green queen cannot buy my silence and you shall find them linked in his album like always. i’ve also heard that our dreamy helaena will be returning this summer now that she has graduated citadel university this year. i suspect she will be returning within a few days with our daring daeron and baela who also attends the oldtown university.

in other news , we have heard that princess rhaenyra and prince daemon have returned with their children from their quick family vacation in pentos. jacaerys seems to have gotten a tan , joffrey has apparently gotten past his biting habit , rhaena has been charming all the elites across the narrow sea , the two youngest princes have been sleeping , and lastly , i’ve heard the whispers that our young lucerys has been an absolute menace to society.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ as always , my little birds , send me photos , videos and all the dirty details that you have heard and witnessed.

until next time ,

xoxo

your favorite little bird. 

Boxes lay scattered around the house you had shared with Helaena and Baela. Now that your final semester closed behind you, and graduation passed, your university home showed the close of your academic career. For weeks now, you and the eldest Targaryen girl remained close to campus as your rental agreement had not ended until now. If the three of you had been mildly responsible you would have started packing as soon as the semester had ended as Helaena had suggested, but instead, the three of you manage to push off packing until only two nights before the end of your lease. Of course, the trio had deep cleaned their humble abode before packing, but it was not until the night before the move-out day that everything had been packed into a mountainous amount of boxes. 

Your body officially ached with the amount of of packing you had done, and all you wanted to do at this point was take a hot shower and wash away the dried sweat that surely covered every inch of your body. Letting out an exasperated sigh, your legs lay spread out along the cherry hardwood floor of the dining room and you began to lay back on the ground. With your eyes closed, your back cracked as it realigned itself. If you knew that the movers would not be knocking at the front door at any moment, you probably could have drifted off into a somewhat needed slumber.

Somewhere in the kitchen, by your guess, by the island came a loud crash. A groan passed through your lips, but your eyes remained shut.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ shit,❞ Baela hissed as footsteps coming from Helaena’s former bedroom flooded your ears.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝What happened?❞ the blonde questioned finding you unmoving able Baela bent picking up the large box once again.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝Our snack box scared the shit out of me, that’s what happened,❞ Baela remarked with slight annoyance. ❝ do we even need all of this for our ride to King’s Landing?❞ 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝We are not throwing it all out,❞ the eldest female argued for the fifth time since she instructed that you and Baela pack it all up earlier that day. ❝ besides, if we don’t eat it all, I’m sure Daeron will eat most of it.❞

While Baela began to argue with her cousin, you could feel your eyes roll, all you wanted was some sort of peace and clearly, that was not going to happen any time soon. Part of you wanted to know how you got yourself in such a predicament. If you would have told yourself that you would be spending your last summer of freedom with your roommate and her family, you would have laughed. Of course, when you and Helaena had been fast friends in your freshman year of university and moved in together, you knew that you two would be inseparable. But, what you didn’t count on was how it felt wrong when the two of you were apart. Then, when Baela had started hanging around the two of you so much that she lived at your place, it only made sense to add her to the lease and make it official. Now, the three of you felt more like sisters than roommates, and you knew that the three of you were the lucky ones. Especially when you heard all of the horror stories of bad roommates. 

But that did not mean that the three of you did not have your issues as well. Baela was a wild child, the very definition of the life of the party. She was beyond gorgeous, had a huge heart, and had the loudest laugh. When Baela was around there was little doubt of not having a good time. Helaena was artistic, divine beauty, quiet, and like you indulged in marijuana.  Where you fit between the two of them you weren’t certain, you had been more reserved and less trusting of the two of them combined. Where you loved music as much as both of them, you would rather stay at home with a good book or movie rather than go out. You were no saint, but the idea of being caught up in some sort of trouble made you more reserved than the two of them. While royalty flowed in their blood; family, duty, and honor ran through yours, and due to that you feared that your actions would reflect poorly on your family. Arguably,  that made you the 'good girl’ of the group, but even that did not seem right. It was well known that you had the worst temper out of the trio. Each moment it was as though you were one inch from letting go and saying every harsh thing on your mind, Helaena always said it had to do with the fact that you were a March Pisces, but since you did not know much about the zodiac signs, you did not know if this was true or not. 

Feeling someone standing over you, your eyes reluctantly flew open to see Helaena smiling down at you. Her smile was so genuine that you wondered if you had missed something. Did you manage to doze off with no knowledge?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ Comfortable?❞ Hel questioned.

Just as you opened your mouth to answer the Targaryen, there was a knock at the front door.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ I got it,❞ Baela exclaimed unnecessarily loud making her way to the front door, while Helena offered you her hand.

Accepting her soft hand you stood and readjusted your black spandex shorts that kept creeping up your stomach to meet your red crop top. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ I can’t wait to sleep,❞ you admitted with a small yawn.

A small tsk came from the blonde girl. ❝ you’ll have plenty of time for sleep on the drive. Baela can handle making sure the movers put all of our stuff in the moving truck since we already packed a our essentials in the car for the drive.❞ 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ And what are we going to do, hm? Hide in the car and sleep?❞ you questioned somewhat hopefully.

For a moment you noticed a trace of mischief swirling in the lilac hues that were watching you closely.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ No, I have a much better idea, just help me with the box of snacks❞ she promised.

Knowing that it was futile to argue, you followed the girl into the kitchen. Though the snack box was large, you knew that it was not a two-person carrying job.

With both of you holding one handle, the two of you made for the front door as Baela and four movers entered. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ Bae, can you help walk them through our stack of boxes, while Butterfly and I finish some last-minute things?❞ Helaena stated more than asked.

As if no was not an option the two of you made your way to the trunk of the black Escalade. Effortlessly, Helaena opened the passenger’s backseat door and you sat the box down on the floor of the car. Questionably, you watched the girl dig through her sports bag. You almost asked what she was looking for, but before you could voice your question the mischievous look was back before she showed you a joint rolled in her pink paper and a lighter in her hand. Now, you had a smile of your own tugging at your features.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ We are ending our life here just like we started.❞ Helaena commented as light as air.

Like the two of you did many times before you found yourselves sitting next to an old oak tree in the front yard. Your head rested against the bark of the tree as you watched the blonde light the joint between her lips. When it finally became light, the potent scent of the weed flooded your senses. When the girl passed it to you wordlessly, you graciously accepted and took a long puff. It wasn’t long before your senses grew dull and you felt yourself relax. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ My uncle and his family should be asleep by the time we reach their place, but Daeron will be awake since he is finishing packing. He said he will let us in so we don’t wake anyone, and that will give us enough time to shower before sleep. I’ll wake you and Baela in the morning and then we will officially start our road trip.❞

Though you heard this plan a thousand times, you simply nodded.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝Are you sure that your parent won’t mind you bringing me? Baela has been trying to get me to stay with her on Driftmark for the last couple of days. Or I could go back to Riverrun for a couple of weeks. Besides, I know their nerves must be shot with having the four of you home for the summer anyway.❞

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ Absolutely not,❞ Helaena began. Her voice was strong and laced with what you could only assume was offense at the notion, ❝ you hate Riverrun, first of all. Second of all, my parents adore you and I have been your best friend longer than Baela. She can suck my dick if she thinks you’d be staying on the island rather than with me. Besides, I don’t know what I’d do without you.❞

As if on cue you passed the joint over to the blonde after taking several puffs.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ Aren’t you sick of me yet,❞ you questioned playfully.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝Hell no, you’ve been my constant for six years now. I think you’ve seen me at my worst and my best more than my own family. Plus, what we do if we didn’t live with each other? FaceTime constantly?❞ She laughed lightly at the thought, ❝ we would be on the phone more than enjoying the moments as they came. This is better, trust me. Plus, now you’ll finally meet my siblings in the flesh.❞ 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ And what will you do if they all hate me?❞ You asked a little more worried than you cared to admit.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ They’ll love you as much as I do. I just know it.❞ she promised.

The pair sat smoking until they had finished the joint and noticed the movers pulling out of the driver. The atmosphere was filled with silence other than the faintest sounds of summer night’s around them. Down the road, they could hear music coming from one of the frat houses and bugs buzzing around in the sky. Entering the house for the last time, you mentally said the final goodbye to your home and all the memories echoing around the walls. Your eyes burned from the smoke that you had been welcoming into your lungs, but what you handed expected was for your eyes to do was begin tearing up.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ Just like that, we’re starting all over. ❞ you murmured to Helaena who pulled you into a hug. 

Feeling left out, you felt Baela’s arms wrap around the two of you.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❝ C’mon you old ladies, we should head out.❞ Baela stated pulling you from the ghosts of the years prior.

Grabbing your three keys from the countertop, you follow the three of them from the home before flicking off the lights for the last time. Locking the door from behind you hand the keys to Baela, who tucks them under the rug as the landlord would be swinging by after dinner with his wife.

It felt like your schooling had ended in a blink of an eye. Sitting in the backseat, Helena sat in the front with Baela who drove. As the three of you abandoned the house your eyes locked on the house from the backseat until it was no longer insight.

Closing your eyes you sent a small prayer that this summer would be as memorable as your university years.

#aemond fic #aemond targaryen #aemond x fem!reader #hotd aemond #prince aemond #aemond the kinslayer #aemond x reader #aemond the one eye #hotd modern au #modern!aemond #house of the dragon #fire and blood #aemond targaryen x reader

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Runaway - Chapter Twelve.

You guys! You’re really loving this, aren’t you? That makes me so happy! If you ever want to slow the note count down, that’s absolutely fine. The story will end on chapter twenty four, so there’s your end point to keep in mind. Thank you so much for your continued interest, you’re all so lovely! 

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 2,490

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“Little mamas, what’s the beef now, huh?”

Reaching down, Manny lifted his howling daughter into his arms, bouncing her gently as her mother had said often worked in placating her. No such luck that night, Lola adamant that she was not to be soothed for more than half an hour as a time. “Imma need to get mommy to spray her perfume on a toy or blanket, aren’t I? Because I think that’s the issue, you miss her, don’t you?”

It was bound to be a little bewildering for her, Lola suddenly being in a new place with new people, her very tired daddy someone she’d only spent time with twice before staying there. Manny understood it, but god, it was hard, having his sleep broken every half hour or so by a crying baby. Taking her out to the lounge and closing the door to try and put a buffer between the noise and Carmen, he wondered how the hell Hannah had coped, doing this all by herself for the first three months of Lola’s life.  

Of course, she’d had the help of her parents here and there, so she’d revealed, but mostly it had just been her. He really wished she’d told him sooner, as soon as the DNA test proved Michael not to be Lola’s father. He would have been there in a heartbeat, but lord, he wouldn’t try and deny it. Parenting was tough, especially when there was no real reason for a baby to be squealing loudly at 3am, Manny feeling himself becoming a little stressed out by it.  

Nobody said fatherhood would be easy, though.  

“Come on, baby cakes. You’re just gonna be a cute little husk soon, all these tears you’re crying,” he spoke softly, kissing her cheek and resting her to his chest, the living room door suddenly flung open.  

“Manny, I have to be up for work in three hours. You’ve gotta stop that baby from crying!” Carmen fumed, folding her arms after storming over to stand in front of him.  

He looked up at her incredulously. “Wanna keep it down? She don’t need your shouting adding to the fact she’s stressing without her mama here. I’m trying to soothe her, but god damnit, she’s fourteen weeks old. It’s to be expected.” He had thought she might’ve gentled to the idea, actually saying hello to Lola when he’d brought her in that afternoon, saying she was very cute and agreeing how much she resembled him, Manny breathing a sigh of relief. Her thaw had not lasted, though, it seemed.

He was met with a huff and a snort at his request for her to hush, his fiancée turning and storming out. “Try harder!”

“Oh yeah, she saltier than the dead sea, ain’t she?” he complained lightly, picking up his phone and doing a little research for anything he could try out to soothe a howling baby, since he was all out of ideas. Cuddles didn’t work, neither did her favourite blanket or cuddly elephant that she’d fallen in love with since he placed it in her hands the week before.  

Reading through a few parenting forums, he found there were a large number of formerly sleep deprived parents all advising using sounds of nature to calm their little ones, one mommy listing a few links to the YouTube playlists that worked for her baby in calming him down, Manny clicking on the first to be taken to an eight hour long video of night ambience music, that particular one listed as enchanted forest.  

Pressing play, he rested his cell against his chest next to Lola, and after a few minutes, as if by magic, he had an enchanted baby.  

“Would you look at that? Daddy is a damned genius.” He whispered softly, Lola settling, the sounds of her sleepy snuffles replacing the screaming. He waited until he was sure she was deeply asleep before taking her back to her room, resting her down in her crib and stopping the video. As soon as he did, though...

“Oh, lord have fucking mercy.” He didn’t have Google home or Amazon Alexa (although made a mental note to get one of them in light of this) so instead, switched calls to silent, cancelled his alarm and left his phone on the dresser, luckily the sounds settling his screaming daughter once the video had been resumed, Manny leaving her to sleep, heading back into bed with Carmen. He got a whole two hours before Lola made her demands known again, this time because she was hungry.  

While he was dealing with daddy duties on two and a half hours of sleep, a well-rested Hannah was meeting with Shonda for breakfast before they both began their working days, Shonda at the insurance firm she was an underwriter for, and Hannah back at home in her office area. Since Lola’s arrival, she no longer had a room to sit within and work, but luckily her spacious lounge had meant she could easily shift her desk out there and work facing the window. Manny would be dropping Lola back at midday, so she’d get at least three hours in completely undisturbed.

“Pumpkin, you’re looking fresh!” Shonda greeted her with, rising from her seat to kiss her cheek, Hannah taking a seat and a grateful swig of the coffee waiting for her.

“Yeah, I slept for a blissful seven hours last night, with Lola over at her daddy’s place,” she revealed, pulling up the sleeves on her light sweater and getting comfortable. “Poor Manny, he texted me this morning to say that she howled most of last night, but he found an ambient music playlist or something that seemed to settle her down.”

“I was just about to ask how he coped with her first stop over! Man, that’s a good guy right there, living up to his word and being a hands-on daddy. You got so lucky, sugar.”

Boy, how Hannah knew that. She counted her blessings daily that it wasn’t Michael who had fathered her child.  

“I really did. He’s just been so good about it all. I think it stems from the fact his own dad walked out on him when he was five, it’s stuck with him as something that he’d never do to a child of his own,” she shared, Shonda nodding.  

“I wanna meet this man! When can I? I feel like I should, you know, being the auntie of his child!”  

Hannah laughed softly, casting her eyes down at the menu before her. “Soon, I’ll arrange a meet up or something. He’s quite busy and his hours aren’t regular.” She excused herself then when her phone chimed, taking a look to see she’d received yet another reply to her post on a parenting forum, one she sighed over. “And with that, I’m deleting my fucking account.”

Shonda’s confused face prompted her further explanation. “So, you know how I mentioned that I stopped breastfeeding, because of the nipple issue? Well, I posted about it on the mommy forum, and so many women were supportive and said they did exactly the same, that the pain of cracked nipples and no longer enjoying the bonding experience because of such made them choose the formula route too. But then, oh my god, the barrage of hatred I’ve been getting! I swear, new mothers are some of the most judgmental people on earth!”

“Oh, don’t even listen to them, pumpkin. I mean, I know I’ve decided that my ovaries are only ever gonna be purely ornamental, but for real, it’s your choice and she’s your child. You decide what’s best. These forums, as I can guess are likely a good resource, but with that comes the judgement you mention, so yeah. I think you’re best ignoring them and letting your poor little nips heal up all nice!” She paused then, sipping her coffee as their server arrived with them, giving their order. “Besides, isn’t formula just as good in this day and age?”

“Yeah, the better-quality ones are, and yes, you’re correct, too. Account now deleted, and nipples healing nicely under a slather of cocoa butter. All nice and soft again, and no one other than me to appreciate them!”

Shonda snorted softly with laughter. “Still horny as hell?”

“Oh, god!” Hannah exclaimed, the look on her face hysterical. “Since I healed and started getting a little more sleep, it has not gone away! If anything, it’s gotten worse!”

“So, do you think you might be dipping your toe into the dating pool again soon?”

Hannah was thoughtful for a few moments before shaking her head. “I don’t really want to just yet, not with Lola so little. It’s just something else I have to put energy I don’t have into, but a fuck buddy might be nice.”

Shonda’s eyes widened a fraction as her shoulders bobbed in a half-shrug. “Shame baby daddy is off the market. You could have hopped on any time you liked.”

“Don’t remind me!” she wailed quietly, covering her face with her hands. “That man is entirely too attractive for his own good.”  

She was reminded of such later that morning, Manny texting to say he’d be a little late to drop her back if that was okay with Hannah, taking Lola to meet her granny Val. It was just coming up to 2pm when they arrived, Hannah piling the pasta she’d cooked for lunch into a bowl, of which she’d made entirely too much of.  

“What the hell smells so amazing, and please can I have some?” Manny announced, passing Lola in her car seat to Hannah, who placed it down and fetched her out, beaming widely at her happy looking baby.  

“That is blackened Cajun chicken pasta, and yes you may. I made too much as usual, but I can freeze what we don’t eat,” she spoke, following him into the kitchen area and pulling another bowl from the cupboard. “Here,” she spoke, passing him the bowl, “help yourself.”  

He peered into the pot; the smell heavenly. “Hannah banana, do I see actual vegetables in here?”

“You do,” she confirmed, adding black pepper to her own bowl. “Zucchini, green peppers and sweetcorn. I had to be somewhat healthy while I was pregnant, rather living on junk food. Vegetables aren’t too bad either, I have to somewhat concede.”  

She gestured with the pepper grinder, Manny holding his bowl forward before taking a huge first mouthful. “How is it?”

Her question was met by a blissful face and hummed noise of approval, Manny planting a huge kiss on her cheek. “Amazing, HB.”

“Oh, I’m abbreviated now?” she teased, moving to the couch with him, placing her bowl down and putting Lola beneath her baby gym before settling beside him.  

“You are when I have too much food in my mouth to call you Hannah banana.”  

While they ate, they mainly discussed the baby before moving on to catch up with one another, Manny revealing that Carmen was still being quite difficult about it all, Hannah sympathising. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit that the thought of discontent in their relationship didn’t give her a little bit of a happy flutter within, internally scolding herself that it was awful, to feel that when Manny was obviously pissed off about it.

“I mean, I dunno what I can do to make it better for her, you know? It almost feels like if I said I’d decided to have nothing to do with Lola, then she’d be perfectly fine with it. She can be selfish and bad tempered, but before all of this, she was sweet, you know? That’s why I got with her, because she was a nice girl, fun to be around, made me laugh.”

He paused for a moment, his frown deepening. “She’s been more tense with the wedding organising, and to begin with I was really involved in it all with her. I wanted to be, it’s my wedding too. However, if I inputted any ideas she didn’t like, I just got stonewalled, so I left the choices to her. Apparently now that means I ain’t interested, so I’m stuck and she’s mad when she don’t need to be. It’s amped up triple fold since Lola arrived in our lives,” he continued, sighing. “You got any advice for me there?”

Hannah liked that, that she was a person he felt he could share with intimately. Then again, back when they’d first met, it had been frighteningly easy between them. They were very much in tune.  

“Other than offer her the reassurance that Lola being in your life doesn’t change how you feel about her, then you’re doing all you can already, Manny. It’s up to Carmen to get her head around now,” she advised. “I should think that when the wedding has happened, and she’s had all those months to get used to Lola being around, then she’ll settle more. Weddings are stressful things; I remember from organising my own. I’m sure she’ll calm down again eventually.”

Manny bit the inside of his cheek, but not enough to prevent the noise of doubt that sounded deep in his throat. “Hm, yeah.”

“You don’t sound so sure there,” she observed, forking the last pieces of pasta from the bowl and shovelling them into her mouth.  

“Truth?”

She reached to pat his thigh supportively. “Yeah, go on.”

“I’m wondering if she ever will, with how she’s acting. I mean, I get that this landed on us out of the blue, but if she’s still at the same level of annoyed over it as she was when she found out, and she’s had just shy of three weeks to deal with this, then I gotta wonder if she’ll ever accept it.”

“Ahh, give her time! Like you say, it’s only been three weeks. I mean, if you’re comparing her to you, then of course you’ll settle faster, since Lola is your blood. Carmen doesn’t have a link to her like that. All she sees is the fact that suddenly, there’s a little less room for her, even though I know you told me you’re reassuring her that’s not the case.”  

He rested his empty bowl down on the table, turning to her. “You’re fucking awesome, you know that? I swear, I wish everyone was as easy to talk things over with as you are. You’re all chill and reasonable.”  

“I try.” she shrugged.  

He left her to it shortly after, kissing Lola goodbye and being glad to receive some big, happy smiles, Hannah walking him to the door.  

“Thanks for the eats, and the chat. See you Thursday, HB.” Reaching for her, his thumb skimmed a soft circle at the apple of her cheek, Hannah smiling, the action making her heart flutter. What she had no way of knowing, of course, was that as he walked away from her door, so did his.

#manny mayans mc #manny mayans mc fanfiction #manny mayans mc imagine #manny mayans mc smut #manny mayans mc x ofc #manny montana #manny montana fanfiction #manny montana imagine #manny montana smut #manny montana x ofc #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc smut #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic

[we-are-the-memers-mr]

neurodivergent-friendly advice on forming habits for creatives (& anyone, really) - with photos

Habits marked with ⭐ are the most important ones, imo.

A good way to build habits that you don't read in books is to make the habit desirable. You can look up the other methods (Atomic Habits and other similar books are great).

But for this one, if you're anything like my neurodivergent mentally ill butt you need things to be desirable in some way to get you to do them.

So what does desirability mean?

It means that it makes you want to do it, with energy and enthusiasm! Or at least not hate the task and yourself and everyone and everything! Something desirable for a habit may include:

Organized

Goblin tools link - https://goblin.tools

The best way to ensure you can perform a habit is to make it EASY. The best way to make it easy is to be organized. Yes this is difficult but you'll get better over time and it'll pay off with dividends of you being very likely to Do The Thing (tm) if you combine this with a few other things on this list (plus the normal habit formation stuff, but honestly loving what you do will make you way more likely to do it than tying it to another habit!).

⭐Put it somewhere easy to access that you can get to EASILY every day, preferably something you already have a habit of going to, e.g. your desk or your lounge room.

⭐Organize your digital files! Here's an example:

^ art (main folder)

^^ (subfolder, 1 folder deep) anatomy

^^^ (subfolder, 2 folders deep) female anatomy

^^^^ (subfolder, 3 folders deep) female torso...

^^^ (subfolder, 2 folders deep) male anatomy

^^^^ (subfolder, 3 folders deep) male torso...

Etc, etc.

Tl;dr (non technical speak): make a folder within a folder for each aspect of your project/task.

📂Every once in a while (can be weekly, monthly, 6 monthly, etc.) sort out your digital files. If you're no longer using that folder, put it in either a "not currently in use" folder to use again later, or if you're done with it, put it in an archive, on either your computer or (preferably) on a hard drive for safe keeping.

📂I have a "quick access" folder with all the folders I'm currently using in it. This is so all I need to do is find the quick access folder and this way I don't have to sort through a sea of dozens of random folders to find the useful ones. This is also good because there are some windows folders you can't relocate and they sit there taking up space and making it visually more cluttered. Note: Be sure to back up your important folders once every week to 3 months.

📂If you want to go super advanced, there are desktop folder kits on Etsy (and perhaps some free ones? though be careful with downloading random things, you may get a virus). They make the folders look aesthetic.

📂Personally, I use either Obsidian or Notion, depending on what I'm doing (usually Obsidian). I recently installed Askify, which can connect to both. Cool thing about it is that you can add notes from any site on the net including YouTube, it takes screenshots for you, and grabs a timestamp as well as being able to summarise the past 15 seconds of the video for you (though it usually just types what the person said, but this can be helpful). It's $3.50 AUD a month, but Obsidian and Notion are free so you can just use those if you can't afford it.

📂⭐Keep the space you're working in as tidy as you can manage. Try to make a habit of every night taking all dishes and empty drinks into the kitchen before you go to sleep.

📂⭐If you have your own space, don't be afraid to rearrange it! I recently rearranged my entire apartment and using my own cleaning advice - if you haven't used it in the past 6 months, consider chucking it out (if it's not expensive), if it doesn't make you happy, earn you money, and isn't useful regularly in some way, chuck it out - and now I'm 100x more physically comfortable, especially because I have an air conditioner next to me now near where I both work and sleep. If you have trouble visualising, try using a website to do so or draw it on paper until it feels right. Pro tip: you don't have to throw away everything, you can also donate it to an op shop/charity/homeless shelter that accepts donations if it's still usable, or you can sell it if it's high-ish quality and worth something.

📂⭐*If you can't do it today, then put it on your to-do list for tomorrow. Keep transferring unfinished tasks to tomorrow until your list is free from tasks.

📂⭐Generally good advice, especially for neurodivergents (but everyone needs to know!): take a dang break every once in a while! If you find yourself getting frustrated with something, take a break, possibly until tomorrow.

... If you have to do it today, do something to break it up, e.g. a nap or a shower. After this, give it a little while to keep cooling off if you still feel bad, then go back to the task.

... If it's something you have more time to do, stop doing it when it stops being fun/enjoyable. If you don't get fun/enjoyment out of it to begin with, stop when it's no longer interesting. Stop BEFORE you get to the point where you're pushing yourself. That is how you make yourself hate whatever you're doing and get a massive block from doing the task. Trust me, I didn't write a story for over 3 years after writing every single day because I pushed myself to the point it was frustrating to do and forced myself to keep going. Not worth it, wish I hadn't.

Sight

⭐Especially good for creative and visual types, like people who like art, design, front-end web devs, game devs, animators, writers etc.⭐

🎨Aesthetically pleasing - e.g. plugins that can change the aesthetic of programs. A good example is the extremely extensive library of plugins and themes available for Obsidian, all free to install. You can also get aesthetic Notion templates, too, but they often cost money (though you can find free ones on the official Notion template website!).

🎨Some aesthetic program add-ons include: the extensive free plugin/theme library for Obsidian (you can even connect it to back up to GitHub for free, though it's very technical) and aesthetic Notion templates - here's a link to where you can find free ones (there are other categories, too, not just for productivity) - https://www.notion.so/templates/category/personal-productivity?paid=free -------- If you want a link to my Etsy store to buy a nice looking aesthetic Notion template for university students (or a different special one just for design students!) for cheap that has better features than the free ones, go here: https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/PointyBirdDesigns?ref=seller-platform-mcnav§ion_id=47390214

🎨Nice colours that you like.

🎨Nice shapes - e.g. your office has a circular painting that you love the shape of (and it makes you happy to look at it).

🎨Nice visual texture - e.g. you're writing a book - consider doing it in a program that has unlimited pages and has a paper texture in the background with no ads or distractions (and can go full screen).

Smell

👃If you're not sensitive to perfumes, spraying a nice scent whenever you do the habit could make you feel happier. You may even start to associate the task with that nice smell.

👃Make sure the area you're working in smells nice. Bad smells can be major subconscious distractions.

Sound

🙉The object associated with your habit makes a satisfying sound, e.g. for writing you might want a certain type of keyboard, like a mechanical keyboard that makes a satisfying "thunk" with each key press and makes you feel like a professional writer. Some browsers like Opera GX (not sponsored) also allow you to add typing sounds directly to the browser, so if you can't afford a nice keyboard but still want a satisfying sound you might want to try that if you're doing a lot in your browser. Otherwise, iirc, there are also writing programs that might do something similar (you'll have to look for them yourself, I can't remember sorry).

🙉⭐You can use things for background noise while you're doing the task if you either have it down really low or you don't need to hear your recordings for it. E.g. for editing a video you can play very soft instrumental music (I don't recommend anything with words, it'll confuse you when they mix with your audio), or if you're doing something like sorting through paperwork you can put on whatever type of music you like or even a twitch or youtube vod/stream on while you're doing it. It sacrifices a tiny bit of optimal brainpower, but you'll likely be less bored and be able to do the task for longer so it'll likely even out, and if you're concerned, you can often do polishing touches at the end to make sure your work is good.

🙉Headphones can go a long way for focus in busy places. Noise cancelling ones can help a lot if you have the cash.

Tactile

🤗*Generally you want to be physically comfortable when performing your habit. If you can afford it/can save up and it's causing you discomfort, try to replace it. A good place to find quality furniture for cheap is your local tender centre. Sometimes op shops are good options, but they're usually more expensive. I found an amazing ergonomic chair for $100 that was worth about $500 - $600. Good things come along sometimes, just keep looking.

🤗If it's something that requires you to go outside and you can afford it, try investing in a few nice outfits to make yourself feel more confident for days when you're feeling less motivated.

🤗⭐If you're neurodivergent or sensitive to textures, make sure before you buy something that you can run your hand along it many times and not feel awful. Honestly, everyone should do this. We all have preferences.

🤗⭐Don't ignore things that make you feel uncomfortable! Why? Because in my experience it's a bit like in video games - these things stack up like debuffs. What I'm saying is, it may not be a big thing to have bright lights hurting your eyes, but if you have bright lights, an uncomfortable chair, and your environment isn't clean, this can be sensory hell, especially for neurodivergents. Write down the things that make you uncomfortable and fix as many as possible, one by one. Don't end up like your neglected sims who are very talented but are completely and utterly miserable because you don't fix the things that are bothering them and don't fulfil their basic needs!

🤗⭐If it bothers you, fix it as soon as you can. It's easy to let little annoyances pass, but just like when a sim does something they dislike, your tolerance for it will be grated until you feel absolutely awful and/or snap. This goes for things as little as your room being too cold (get a blanket or if you can afford it and have one, put the heater on!) or too hot. Do NOT screw around with things you can fix in under 2-30 minutes. If you can fix it in under 2 minutes, do it right now. If you can fix it in under 10 minutes, write it down and do it today. For the rest, add it to either a weekly, monthly, or some day to-do list. Scheduling it for a certain period of time makes it more likely to get done, though. If you're like me and can't do something when you force yourself to or are told you have to, just schedule it to be done within a certain week or month. No pressure.

Feeling

💜⭐A good rule of thumb is that you've achieved desirability when you feel excited to do the habit. If this excitement ever wears off, try mixing and matching other ways of building desirability or changing something about the habit, e.g. the prompt (see habit building books or summaries for more info). Keep it fresh! Whenever you get bored, change things around.

💜⭐Listen to your emotions. Emotions are the body's way of communicating things with you, whether it be about your environment or about your body or mental state. Sure, some are irrational, but every emotion has a story to tell. Try listening. Don't push your emotions down, learn to process them. If you don't know how, a therapist can help.

Bonus note:

Don't spend beyond your means! If you can't afford it, don't buy it! I am not telling you to go out and spend as much as you can on these things. Mid-range is usually the best bang for your buck, and can often be found for cheap in op shops and tender centres, as I said.

Good luck! If you have any bonus tips feel free to reblog this post or comment and add them!

#habits #self help #neurodivergent #self improvement #personal development #self care #creatives #creative work #writing #art #creativity #habit building #tips #self improvement tips

[pixeldistractions]

San Sequoia, California. He had succeeded in his task of driving her all the way to the ocean, even if they meandered along the way.

“Well, there you go. Now you’ve seen the Pacific Ocean. Is it everything you ever dreamed of?”

“Yes,” she said. “It really is.”

“So, then…”

“Stay a minute?”

“I can’t,” he said. “Climb classes start next week. I kind of wanted to head up the coast for a bit first.”

“Can I come?”

“Sorry, no, it’s a one-man show from this point on,” he said.

“Aw, it’s my birthday.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“It really is.” She dug out her ID and showed him.

“Huh, well, happy birthday. But still, I need to do this by myself. You need your rebounds, I need to be deeply alone, just for a little while. That’s my rebound.”

“Can I have a birthday kiss?”

“No, but you can have this organic sea kelp granola bar.”

“I’ll cherish it,” she said, taking the granola bar and stowing it in her pocket.

“Where will you stay?” he asked.

“Couch surf, my man. Hostels. I’ll sleep on the beach maybe. The world is my bed. Boxes are for squares.”

“Ha, alright, have a time, I guess.”

“See ‘ya around?”

“I don’t doubt it. Stay cool, Ingrid.”

She finger-gunned at him. He waved. She pulled out her camera, watching him go. She got him on film for a shot, walking off across the pavement, never looking back until the moment he rounded the corner, when he waved once more, shortly. Then he was gone. In the caption for her video, she wrote a little story about short summer flings, the fleeting intensity, the eternal disappointment of unfulfilled yearning, and the freedom of finally letting it all go.

But that story wasn’t about Jordan.

— from “boxes and squares #2: this is not that story again” (10/10)

Next ->

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #sims story #ingrid #jordan

[aprillikesthings]

I lead part of EfM thing today (see earlier posts) and it went well ahhhhh thank God

and I've made my lunches for the next week!

and I'm munching on a salad

and all day I was looking forward to this, the moment I can (re)watch MORE SHE-RA

I've barely worked on my longer fic this weekend (other than copy/pasting a bunch of things Nate said after the show ended into the notes section of the doc) and tbh rewatching the ACTUAL SHOW is hella distracting bc with twenty eps left we're going to start getting into more of the really high-stakes stuff

Also, true story: I originally watched, like, the second half of season 4 and all of season 5 in two days of marathoning with Daci. So quite frankly? The last, like, third of the show is just kind of a blur to me now.

SO LET'S GO

s4 ep7 Mer-Mysteries

A mission in Dryl went badly, they've figured out someone's telling the Horde what they're doing, they're not tracking Adora because she wasn't even there--

YES

plz enjoy Sea Hawk's faces

Bow's sudden nervousness reminds me of when I was in line at the TSA in Dulles airport and was weirdly nervous. I had no reason to be nervous. AND YET. I'm usually totally fine at TSA? But the people at Dulles were scary!!!

(I was way less nervous coming back from Iceland, despite knowing I had Kinder Surprise Eggs in my suitcase. Which are actually illegal to bring into the USA. You can buy "Kinder Joy Eggs" in the USA, which do not have the toy, but the ones with the toys are against the law! Anyway I bought them for Daci. I was only nervous for a split second at customs in the USA bc they asked me what I'd brought home from Iceland and I was like...wool yarn. books. sweets (I'd also bought licorice and chocolate). But he just waved me through. WHEW.)

she's still big mad about this lolol

BUT she's right a spy IS the only thing that makes sense (but also the audience knows shit they don't)

Pearl?? A Pearl who knows too much?????

c'mon I had to

lolol they lampshaded the way lightning keeps striking when Mermista says something

to be fair she IS the most recent addition and the one they know the least

oh hey I also write everything in purple (or lavender) ink

lol

oh, shut up

well not this episode, specifically

LOLLLLL

honestly this is a lot like the DnD episode

so on the one hand, I know Flutterina is doing this to make them fight, but on the other hand Glimmer is right; on the other OTHER hand, I also would prefer a warning before being forced to see my abusive parent having free range of the castle I live in

BAHAHAHA I read Nate saying these two were interrupted on a date night, but also plz notice the colors of the flowers, it's literally most of the lesbian pride flag, they were SO unsubtle

The Ken from Plumeria is talking to the pastry chef from Dryl with the super cute outfit, and she looks bashful for a second after this screenshot; I am now shipping this and no one can stop me

speaking of ships (yes I know this isn't meant to be shippy lol)

a youtube video titled "it's raining on your window and you live in Bright Moon Castle ASMR for sleep 4 hours"

(....I'd listen to that)

(On a related note, mynoise dot net has a bunch of rain sounds on the website, and it also has an app--it's seriously the BEST website/app for ambient sounds because they're so adjustable and never repeat, and I just want everyone to know about them. The rain and ocean sounds are great on earbuds to cover up snoring so you can sleep!!! Worked better than my fancy earplugs while I was on the Camino and sleeping in all those hostels)

And back to the cartoon, where there's obviously suspicious shit happening because people seem to be in two places at once and their communications thing got shattered

oh so her name IS just The General

Flutterina (aka Double Trouble) has got to be like "oh my god wtf is up with this dude I cannot handle this bullshit"

Once again Glimmer proves that her and Catra are actually very, very alike

BUSTED

OOHHHHH they set up a trap I forgot, this is amazing

Adora: "we created a diversion :)" Glimmer: "You were a really good actress. For once."

pfft

Anyway Double Trouble is confessing the whole plan

:(

poor Mermista :(

there's a creepy-ass moment of seeing part of Horde Prime's face as he smiles, roll credits

#april rewatches spop #mer-mysteries

[darkfromday]

game. of. the. year.

okay so highlights from my eleven-days-and-counting playthrough of tears of the kingdom so far:

“DID HE JUST TAKE 27 OF MY HEARTS IN 3 SECONDS???”

yelling “YOU CAN REWIND TIME???” on day 1 and making my mom laugh while she was next to me on the couch

catching a star fragment out of the sky while diving, not once but twice

taking either five minutes or an hour to figure out any given shrine

related to this, either saying “I am a genius” or “...I went to an Ivy” (derogatory) depending on how long it took

saying “holy damn you can go through solid walls?? neat” in ascend tutorial and then forgetting that was a solution to early game problems for the next ten hours

“damn I wish your botw horses transferred” *later* “wait, THEY DID????”

“how thE FUCK do you kill these creepy hands omg stop murdering me I just want the underground shrine!!”

“I’m not smart enough to build shit in this game tbh” *builds a rocket raft for a korok*

the rocket raft breaks apart and the korok falls back down the mountain and into the sea, forcing me to start all over

“where is my house WHERE is Hateno Village was it this far away before???”

(I have made it to Hateno Village. I still have not reached my house)

either curbstomping black bokoblins or being curbstomped by them, with no in-between

*for three real days* “I MUST return to Tarrey Town!! I want to see what’s happening there!!” *finally makes it there and only stays 20 minutes before swanning off somewhere else*

“I think I’m watching these Zelda memories in the wrong order”

having my first Zelda Theory and having to keep it to myself

staying off twitter to keep from being spoiled... only to get lured into a false sense of security since people kept only sharing korok videos, and get spoiled for something I haven’t reached yet anyway

saying “what the fuck is THAT, NOPE” every time I see what looks like a giant elemental dragon in the distance, starting with the first lightning one in an old castle ruin

making so many cold resistance meals, only to not even use most of them for their intended purpose because I already bought all the cold resistance armor before meeting Tulin

trying to dive down from a glide and kill a construct enemy only to miss and fall to the earth below

saying “yeah I’m going to Kakariko” five times a day and not going

getting lost in the Lost Woods again bc WHAT THE FUCK YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TAKE ONE STEP WITHOUT HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG. (please do not tell me)

finding the underground tunnel to Hyrule Castle and wandering around murdering an obscene amount of Like Like enemies

“oh look, this is where the Hylian Shield was in botw, maybe it will be here again--I can’t open this door--NO FUCK NOT THE GLOOM HANDS AGAIN”

...wait. I can’t get in the room which means the gloom hands can’t get to me. But I can hit them with arrows through the bars. Advantage: me

Tulin’s avatar and I defeat the hands, finally, proof that they can be fucking beaten, I can turn my attention back to getting in that room--no. Phantom Ganon boss appears. Immovable gates do not stop him

the reward I receive for beating Phantom Ganon, sacrificing many good weapons and a shield in the process, is not worth the scare to my heart, because it is not the Hylian Shield

that time I went to sleep peacefully in a stable and the Blood Moon cutscene smacked me immediately in the face

trying to get to a shrine sitting on top of solid ice in the dumbest ways for an hour, before realizing that I could just rewind time on some of the falling stones in the area to get high enough in the air to float down to it

“I have so many bomb arrows!” “...now I don’t”

saying “why can’t we have remote bombs, stasis or cryonis back” at least once a week mid-puzzle

“whisper to me, horse god”

“THERE’S A MEAL LIMIT??”

“THERE’S SHRINES IN THE SKY???”

“THERE’S SHRINES UNDERGROUND????”

living out my dream of being a journalist even though I have the wrong degree IRL (thanks Lucky Clover Gazette)

“There’s how many wells?”

seeing a black boss bokoblin in Hyrule Castle and just going “NO.” and turning around

two Lynels have seen me. neither have engaged

living in fear of the day Hestu gets bored and leaves Lookout Landing

“are my other botw friends besides Teba okay... I’m scared to check”

“you know, Rauru’s kinda.... nevermind”

holding in my trauma because I’ve been poor in video games before even when others were rich, but this is the first time I really feel poor (and so do other people apparently)

Beedle is my best friend

“cool, pirates in Lurelin”! *doesn’t go to investigate*

performs most haphazard tower-and-shrine-collection methods of all time

dying a billion times in the first few days. and still dying. died today in fact

“you know, Ganon’s kinda... NEVERMIND”

having either 100 brightbloom flowers ready for the depths or 17

wondering when I will feel strong enough to fight a Hinox, Stalnox or other big boi

*first Talus-riding Bokoblin encounter* “WHEN I SAW THIS IN THE TRAILER I DIDN’T THINK THIS WOULD BE REAL”

having to almost bite my tongue to keep from calling the “ultrahand” ability “godhand” in the first few days for some reason idk why

“I will reunite you!! I must get you to your friend! This is so exciting!” <- me about the first korok-friend-reuniting mission......

“please tell me there’s not 900 more koroks in this game, I didn’t even get them all in the last one”

searching for an outfit that isn’t weaksauce in defense but lets Link have his hair down because....~

dying several times on the tutorial sky island because I needed to get down to a lower platform and I forgot that diving into water is a safe activity

RIP to my fire fruit stash

“I SUCK AT SHIELD SURFING NOW :’(”

...and I’ve only done a little of the game.

#the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #Darkday plays games #personal

[machifuwa]

- Sunshine - Sunny Side Episode 4

On the same evening, Seisoukan Theatre Room

Ritsu: Heyya~

Oh, it's just you? Where are the others?

Tsukasa: Leo-san and Narukami-senpai are not here yet. Sena-senpai is lying on the sofa over there.

Ritsu: You're right. Falling asleep where ever you go is supposed to be my character though. Hooow annoying♪

Izumi: ーKuma-kun, don't imitate me. Hooow annoying.

Ritsu: Ooh, it's the original. You're awake, already?

Izumi: Yeah. I was tired because of the time difference, so I rested for a bit. If I sleep longer now, I won't be able to sleep later.

Staying up late is bad for the skin and personally I'd rather go to bed early. But I have to anyway, since someone had to call a meeting.

Tsukasa: Uuu... Please be patient a little longer. We will finish this as soon as possible.

...Ah, they've arrived.

Arashi: Sorry for the wait. Looks like everyone's getting along, no?

Leo: Ooh, it's Sena. You're back in Japan? Welcome back!

Izumi: Yeah, yeah, I'm home. I thought I already mentioned it in the "Knights" group chat though? I guess you didn't see it.

Leo: Yep, I didn't ☆

Izumi: Don't be arrogant. O~i, Kasa-kun. Now that everyone's here, get on with it. Finish as soon as possible, right?

Tsukasa: Ah, right. Everyone, thank you for coming even though it's already late at night.

About Leo-san's reckless request... we have found a job where we can make money while having fun.

First of all, please watch this video.

Leo: Ooh, it's an island! There's also the mountains and the sea, how amazing!

What's next, an outdoor festival? Nice, nice, looks like fun!

Tsukasa: This is the [Sunnyside Festival], abbreviated as [SSF], a famous music festival that brings together artists from all over the world.

The event will be held on an island near the equator. There are no direct flights from Japan, so we will have to enter the area by connecting airplanes and ships.

The event will last for three days. We will probably perform on the last day of the event, so the first and second days are free. What do you think, Leo-san?

Leo: It's great! I want to participate! I've always wanted to perform in a festival~

I'll give you a perfect score for your "ideal way to spend your summer vacation" ☆ What do you think, Naru?

Arashi: It's really great. I think a vacation on a southern island is a luxurious and nice thing to do.

Leo: Right, right~! And Rittsu?

Ritsu: Hmm~ Japan and the tropics, both have hot weather. Anything's fine.

If everyone else is going, I'm going too. It would be weird if I was the only one who wasn't there.

Leo: Okay, then. I guess we're going!

Tsukasa: Wait, please. Can you not make a decision when the two of us haven't shared our opinions yet?

Leo: Hmm? I don't really have to ask. You two are the type who just "tags along with everything", right?

Tsukasa: No, we are rather the ones who are "against" the idea.

Leo: Eeh!? Why's that!? You two are the ones who brought this to our attention!

Tsukasa: We have a big problem on our hands when it comes to participation.

Leo: What? What is it? Just spill the tea!

Tsukasa: If we stay for three nights and four days, we should have about a week to spare, including the time it takes to travel.

But we have already taken some work in the relevant period.

Ritsu: So, we can't participate? If we neglect work in favour of holiday, we'll just lose credibility, and we won't be able to face the newcomers, will we?

What a pity, Tsukipi~

Leo: Uu~ not you, too...

Whatever! Just me and Naru's fine!

Arashi: I don't know about that. We have to work without exception, don't we? We can't just skip work.

Leo: How dare you!? You've made me so excited, and now you're making me feel like a fool! You're an ogre! Devil!

Ritsu: By the way, Su~chan. Can't we just move our work during that time?

Tsukasa: I'll look into it. Please wait a moment.

..........

Photoshoots, magazine interviews... I think we can adjust our schedule in a way that it can be brought forward instead.

As for the PV shooting, it's a temporary hold. If it proceeds without delay, we can just withdraw from it.

Ritsu: Hoho, I see, I see.

In other words, if we do our jobs well, we can still join this [SSF], right?

Tsukasa: That seems to be the case.

Izumi: So? Can you promise us that, Leo-kun?

Leo: I promise! I'll do my best in every job, and I'll even write a song for [SSF]! So, please!

Tsukasa: Thank you, I was waiting for you to say those words.

Izumi: No take backs, alright? Let's do our jobs properly, 'kay?

Leo: Yep, understood!

Wahaha! I can't wait~ White sand! Blue sea! Three days and three nights of music festivals...☆

...Hmm, wait a sec. Isn't this story going too smoothly!

You guys set me up, didn't you? Naru and Rittsu, are you two in this as well?

Arashi: How rude. I was not informed of any of this, you know?

Ritsu: Same. But somehow, I knew what they were trying to do, so I tried to help.

I can't believe those two worked together just to outsmart him. Su~chan can be really sneaky sometimes too, huh...♪

< EPISODE 4 END >

Story: "Summer Breeze!" [Sunshine Shimmering in a Foreign Land]

Story by: ゆーます

Collaborator: 日日日

Season: Summer

Characters in this Episode: Leo, Tsukasa, Izumi, Ritsu, Arashi

Reminder: I did not create this story, but I translated it, so please refrain from reposting my translation on other social media platforms.

I apologize if there are any mistakes as well.

(Prev - All - Next) Thank you for reading!

#ensemble stars #enstars #leo tsukinaga #tsukasa suou #izumi sena #ritsu sakuma #arashi narukami

[born-to-lose]

can u go thru when i dont have u line by line please ... so interested 2 hear the choices behind each bit

Full heartbreaking analysis under the cut

What will I do

When your scent on your shirt disappears

For Valentine's Day, my love gave me a sleeveless shirt he's had for years so it smells like him a lot. It feels like home and good memories because the sheets of the holiday home where I spent my summers at the North Sea as a child smelled the same. Since I got it, I've been smelling it every night before going to sleep in an attempt to memorize the scent and when it's not too cold, I sleep in it. But I've also been worried about the scent fading over time and about me forgetting how he smelled at some point.

When your lipstick's all used up

For my birthday, he gave me a dark pink/red lipstick, which has sort of become my signature shade when I go out. I can't get this brand and exact lipstick in my country, so I would have to get it imported from the UK when it's used up (it also accidentally melted a bit and broke off after a while ago and I somehow fixed it but the cute little pattern isn't there anymore). Even if I did get a new lipstick in that shade, it would still not be the same as applying the one that was hand-picked by the love of my life.

When I want new pictures of you

Because I've looked at the old ones a million times

I still keep a framed photo of him on my bedside table because I can't bring myself to put it away in a box or even just my desk or shelf. In addition to that, my usual way of coping with missing him was (and still is) looking at the pictures I have of him on my phone, but after a while you want new ones because you just miss their face so much, you know?

What will I do

When I don't have you anymore

The main question of this whole poem, and also of this whole week. Actually, what will I do now? I'm still trying to figure that out.

When I can't call you every week

We used to have weekly video calls and every week without a date (because one of us was busy or didn't feel well) was rough for me and the thought of them never happening at all kills me.

When I can't hear you laugh and sing

I'm absolutely in love with his singing voice. He used to sing a few songs on request for me and even recorded some so I can listen to them whenever I want. His laugh is my favourite sound in the world and I was always so happy when I could make him laugh.

When we don't stay up late talking about everything

Especially in the first months and on weekends, we stayed up really late on some nights to talk about all kinds of things and I enjoyed those conversations more than I can say.

What will I do

When you're not in my arms

Sadly, I never got the chance to have him in my arms, but I literally dreamed of that and still crave it so much. If I could hold him just for a moment, I would never let go.

When I miss your face next to mine

As we were long distance, I didn't actually have his face next to mine, but sometimes when we nearly fell asleep on video call, both of us wrapped in blankets, it just felt so nice and cozy.

When I don't feel your hands on me

Again, I never really did and this is too intimate to discuss, but a single touch from him, no matter in what context and with what intention, would make me melt.

When I can't play with your hair as you lay on my chest

Another thing I really wish I could do. He has beautiful hair and I've always wanted to play with it or braid it while we're cuddling.

What will I do

When your tapes are worn out

He made two mixtapes for me, which I think is the most romantic thing ever, especially because he used actual cassettes and didn't just create a playlist (although he also did that and it's almost 9 hours long). The parts where he talks in between the songs to explain why he added them or what we were talking about at the moment always make me smile, and I keep rewinding to the parts where he sings along so they're ingrained in my mind forever. He told me several times not to wear them out, but I'm afraid they will be eventually, so I'll need to get them digitalized just in case.

When the ink on your letters fades

We wrote each other letters and cards and I love rereading the ones he sent me. They still have their place in a letter rack on my desk and at some point in the future I'll put them in a box and keep them until I die, hoping they'll still be legible decades from now.

When your scented candle stops burning

For Christmas, he gave me a white pear and patchouli scented candle. Sometimes I light it so my room smells like him and it always makes me feel better when I do. It's a jar candle and I really hope it will last for a long time because like with the shirt, I have a thing for scents and associating them with people I love and if there's nothing like that left of him, I'll be devastated.

When the blood in your vial necklace turns brown

He made a blood vial necklace for me and I tried to make one too, but I couldn't get enough blood out without actually relapsing into cutting. I never leave the house without it because I want to carry part of him with me at all times and show him off a bit. The fact that it's his own blood and that we had a thing for blood and talked about literally giving each other our hearts makes it even deeper and more intimate to me. When it arrived by mail, the blood had already clotted a little and by now it's turned into a very dark, almost black, shade of red, which looks really pretty in sunlight.

What will I do

When you're gone and all I have

Even if for now, he isn't actually gone and still in my life, and most importantly not dead, it's still hard to shift from the blissful life together I've gotten so used to in the last 7 months to the situation I'm in now.

Are the things you've sent me

I'm scared of the day when he's not with me in any way and literally all I have are his gifts he sent me.

Your soft voice and pretty face in my head

As mentioned above, I adore his voice and he's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. I'll never get that out of my head; even when I'm old and can't remember anything about myself, I hope he will always be in my memory.

And the memory of you and our time together

Over the course of our relationship, we made quite a few amazing memories (as far as possible when you live two countries apart) that I'll never forget, even if we had so many more plans for the future. Our time together was the best time of my life and he's by far my most important relationship I've ever had and ever will have. I'm pretty sure he's the love of my life and I will never be able or want to call anybody else than him "my love" because he will always be that to me. Honestly, I don't think I could ever love as deeply again as I love him.

#sorry this took so long but god i really put everything into this and now i'm crying #ask #zigmentality #barbi

[dvstybuns]

WHO: Dustin Henderson

WHAT: He’s Valedictorian, baby!

WHERE: Hawkins High Football Field

Dustin Henderson was sweating, and the ceremony hadn’t even started yet. 

It wasn’t the public speaking that was making him nervous. He’d gotten over his shyness after meeting the boys in elementary school, unable to shut up by the time they’d reached sixth grade. Standing up in front of the audience wasn’t something he was scared of, necessarily, it was just... this was a pretty personal speech. He was kind of baring his soul for people, in a way. Standing before them and listing all of the people who had made him who he was, thanking each of his friends for the things they had taught him. And while that was sweet, it was also a bit nerve-wracking. 

Dustin had been practicing it all week for anyone who would listen, and even for people who didn’t want to hear it. Suzie had been on the phone with him multiple times to go over her own speech as well, and the more he heard it, the more he was worried his own was too sentimental. Too raw and open. But it was too late to change it now. It was well past memorized, and to the point where he almost thought he could do it in his sleep if he wanted. Maybe he was doing it as he dreamed, honestly; Dustin had a habit of talking in his sleep when he was anxious. 

Claudia had insisted on them getting there early so she could get a good seat close to the front. She’s borrowed someone’s video camera, and planned on filming his speech so they’d always have a copy. That made Dustin nervous too, but he knew his mom meant well. She was so proud of him - he’d heard her gushing to her book club the week before about how smart and talented her baby boy was, and how he was going to do great things once he graduated. 

Great things that didn’t include MIT, but great just the same, Dustin hoped. 

He took his seat next to Principal Higgins, offering the man a tight smile. Dustin didn’t care for him - he’d been shitty towards Eddie and Max, and Dustin couldn’t excuse that - but he wasn’t going to be a complete dick to him before Dustin had even gotten his diploma. 

The first twenty minutes or so of the ceremony went by quickly, with the marching band playing a few songs and the Principal speaking. After he’d been introduced, Dustin stood up, taking a few deep breathes to calm himself. Walking to the podium, Dustin pulled his speech out of his pocket and looked out into the sea of faces before him. 

He could see Will close to the front, Byers being one of the first last names alphabetically. Mike was there, but he couldn’t find Lucas or Max. There were a lot of people all dressed in green, to be fair. Further out, he could see the audience behind the graduates, with his mom front and center. Seeing her and his friends calmed his nerves and gave him the ability to get started.

“Good afternoon fellow graduates, faculty and staff, parents, and distinguished guests and welcome to the graduation ceremony for the Hawkins High School class of 1988,” He began, reading directly from the paper. “My name is Dustin Henderson, and I am honored, but not surprised, to be your valedictorian.” That earned a few chuckles and eye rolls, mostly from his classmates. Dustin, unfortunately, had never become Mr. Popular. What a bummer. 

“I moved to Hawkins when I was in the fourth grade,” Dustin continued, finally glancing back up from his speech. “I had never been to Indiana before, and I had no idea what to expect. Would it be scary having to make new friends? Would I hate it here? Would I miss my old life? In short, the answer was: yes.”

Several adults laughed, whether out of genuinely finding it funny or just to be polite, Dustin couldn’t be sure. Pausing for a moment, Dustin found his mother’s eyes as she filmed him, an encouraging smile on her face. 

“Yes, at first I did hate it here. I missed Minnesota. I ate alone for a full week before anyone asked if I wanted to sit with them. I barely spoke in class, and I struggled to adjust to life here at my new school.” Life had been hard when he’d first moved to Hawkins. Dustin had missed his dad, and he’d missed his home in Minnesota. Nothing had made him feel like this stupid move was worth it, not even the cat his mother had gotten them to try to make things easier. 

“But then, I met three people who changed my life forever.” Dustin continued, eyes searching for Will’s and Mike’s in the audience again as he smiled softly. “I met the best friends I could have ever asked for. A few years later, I made even more friends, and they changed my life too. And if it weren’t for them, I don’t know who I’d be today.” He tried to find Max, but he couldn’t see her section very well. He was sure she’d understand, though. 

“Life can be scary. Oftentimes, we are presented with challenges that we did not ask to face. Sometimes, life can seem like it’s been turned upside down, and like my friends showed me, you have to be willing to rise to the occasion in order to overcome it.” 

That was the understatement of the decade, but Dustin couldn’t just launch into the story of what they had all been through over the years. This was as close as he could get to publicly acknowledging it, slipping the reference to the Upside Down in for those who would know what he meant. They had lived through Hell - but all of them were still standing here today. All of them had made it to graduation, which was a huge milestone for them. And Dustin honestly felt like he was only here because he had had five incredible people helping him along the way. 

“I learned from Mike Wheeler to always jump headfirst into danger if it means rescuing a friend,” Dustin said, smiling at Mike as he remembered the other being willing to jump off a cliff for him. Not many people would consider doing that, and Mike had done it without a second thought. 

“From Lucas Sinclair, I learned that it’s important to be cautious of the situations you encounter, but to not let them keep you from doing what’s right.” Lucas was always their voice of reason, always the one to help them see things that the rest of them couldn’t. At the end of the day, he could see the difficulties that they would have to face, but he never backed down from a challenge. Dustin admired him for that. 

 “Will Byers taught me that in the face of adversity, you have to do what you have to do to survive,” He continued, looking at Will. He saw one of the strongest people he had ever met. Will had been through so much, had fought so hard to be here with them now, and had always been able to do it with kindness. He led with love, and Dustin was a better person for knowing him. 

“Like Max Mayfield, I hope to always embrace every obstacle I face with tenacity and courage.” She was the bravest of them. A warrior through and through, someone who had had so many shitty situations thrown at them in life, but who still found the courage to make friends. To not let herself be controlled by her grief or by her rage, which would have been easy and understandable. Instead, she was a good person, even if Dustin wouldn’t admit that to her face. 

“And like El, I hope to always be there when my friends need me the most.” Eleven might have had to miss milestones with them over the years, but when it counted, she was there. She was a true superhero, Dustin believed that in his core. 

“I don’t know what lies before us today, graduates.” Dustin continued, glancing back up into the audience of parents. “Hawkins has seen many tragedies, but I hope that there is a bright future waiting for each of us. As we leave Hawkins High today, may you take with you all of the skills and life lessons that our teachers imparted on us. May you remember the good times you have had with each other, and not dwell on the bad. Let who you might be in the future shape you just as much as what has happened to you in the past. And always know that you have people willing to help you when things feel impossibly difficult.”

“Before we leave, I would like to thank my friends, my mother, my girlfriend Suzie, and my teachers for always supporting me and being there for me. Each of you has changed my life for the better, and set me on the path I am on currently.” He wished Suzie had been able to make it, just like he wished he’d been able to go to her graduation. It was just too far and the dates were too close together - but they’d call each other later to talk about it, he was sure. And no matter what, Dustin would be there to see her graduate MIT in four years.

As his eyes shifted through the crowd of faces, he finally landed on someone who he wasn’t surprised to see there, but hadn’t necessarily expected either. In the fourth row from the top, Dustin could see Scott Clarke beaming at him. In one hand, he held a camcorder, and the other was waving encouragingly at Dustin, who smiled back sincerely. 

“I want to leave you today with some advice I received shortly after moving to Hawkins,” Dustin said this directly to his former science teacher, hoping the man knew just how much he had shaped Dustin’s middle school years. “Hawkins High Graduating Class of 1988, I hope that you never stop being curious. Always open any curiosity door that you find. Never be afraid to be yourself, because that person is always good enough, even if it may not seem like it at the time.” He watched as Scott wiped a tear with his free hand, continuing to film the speech.

“Congratulations, and go forth into the world ready to take on any challenge, knowing that your party is by your side.” Dustin finished, smiling and nodding at the applause he received. Not everyone would have understood it, and even fewer understood everything he’d meant, but it was clear the love he’d felt for those he had talked about. They truly had shaped Dustin into who he was today. Lucas, Max, Mike, Will, and El. His mother. Steve. Eddie. Nancy. Robin. Mr. Clarke. All of the people who’d come into his life and changed it for the better. 

Dustin was standing here today because they had taken a chance on him, had seen him for who he was and had loved him, not in spite of it, but because of it. And he loved each of them. No matter what happened to them in the future, Dustin would always be grateful for the time he had had with them. 

#( threads. ) #( self-para. ) #dustin henderson you will always be famous #here is the graduation speech in full #rip scott clarke

[queenofdenest]

Title: currently untitled Rating: Teen Fandom: Hetalia Characters: hws nyo!liet. hws nyo!lat. hws nyo!est. tags: human au, inspired by the room (2015), not fully tho,

Summary: "That doesn't make sense – no one borrows others just to be companions." It was like something out of an old fairy tale – or a horror novel.

(or. Viktorija and her cousin, Aija, had been minding their own business at a family get together in the park when they are kidnapped in broad daylight by a crazy man.)

A/N: ack! i'm excited (and scaredandotherweirdemotions!) so it's almost my birthday - literally tomorrow! - and i wanna show you something i'm working on. i'm actually really proud of this au, and of this little snippet! it was the first thing i showed my beta concerning this fic and they were really interested in it, hope you all will be too! it was semi-inspired by the room (2015) movie + book, as well as by several true crime podcasts and my own brain watching The Simpsons videos & theories at 3 am as i attempt to fix my sleep schedule that got ruined by my insomnia several weeks ago!

anyway, this au will be much much larger and (hopefully) be making it's way across your computer screens sometime in the next few months, but until then, please enjoy!

"It's not that bad here," is said so softly that Viktorija felt a bit bad for the girl. Not so bad that she doesn't curse her in her own thoughts, but bad enough that she nodded her head along with the words being said. The other girl had turned her back on them, eyes roaming the hall, before she spoke again, "Really, Father Zima is a kind man and his daughters are kind as well – I think you'll come to like it here, both of you."

Her eyebrows furrow and she reached forward to grab the shoulder of her cousin who seemed to want to follow the other girl as the stranger began walking down the small hallway. "Like it here?" She hissed just as softly as the other had spoke, she didn't know if there were hidden cameras around or not, but she wasn't going to risk being overheard speaking so loudly. "We've been kidnapped!"

The other girl, the one that had helped the man lure them from the park they were at, stopped and faced them. Her eyebrows were lifted in confusion and her lips were down turned, sea colored eyes boring right into Viktorija's own as she walked back towards them. "You shouldn't think of it like that," she replied, shrugging slightly as she came to a stop in front of them. "It's more like you're being borrowed."

"Borrowed?" Her chest filled with anger at the word. They weren't being borrowed; borrowed meant going home, not being held in a strange man's house with some foreign girl and his weird family. It meant other things, things that weren't kidnapping and accessory to kidnapping, and whatever else was going to happen to them!

"Father Zima'll take you back home after the girls grow up, he promised." It was said with a tinge of desperation but still Viktorija didn't care. Her and Aija had thought this girl needed help – which she probably did though more in the way of police and a therapist – and had wandered away from their family to help, only to end up shoved in a strange bearded man's trunk and knocked out somehow.

"I know it's not idea," the girl continued, seemingly ignoring the rising red flush to Viktorija's face, "but the girls need companions and that's more important than anything else."

No, what was most important was Viktorija and Aija going back home – away from crazy blondes who helped creepy men lure other children away from their families; away from what seemed like a cult or some Manson family going ons; away from trouble. Shaking her head, she spoke, "That doesn't make sense – no one borrows others just to be companions." It was like something out of an old fairy tale – or a horror novel. "And who are these girls? Who's Father Zima? Why is your dad doing this?"

The girl sighed lightly. "The girls are Father Zima's daughters, they're not the best at making friends." Her words paused and her arms crossed over her chest, "As for who they are, I was going to wait for introductions until supper but I'll tell you a bit about them as we walk."

"We're not-"

"Okay!" Aija cut in, bright blue eyes shining. "Where are we going?"

Traitor.

"Aija." Viktorija tried her best maternal voice but she fell short; her voice sounding nothing as strong as Aunt Laima's or her mothers. Instead, to her own ears, she sounded tired and scared, her voice shaking on the last syllable of her cousin's name. "What are you doing?"

"We said we'd help." The girl sounded so confused, so earnest. It was upsetting.

About to speak, Viktorija was cut off by the strange girl answering Aija's question. "The bedroom for you two," she said, brightening slightly. "Me and the girls spent all day yesterday making sure the room was very nice. Father Zima bought all brand new sheets and comforters; brand new beds and dresser set – there's even a full length mirror! It's wonderful."

It sounded like a room meant to induce Stockholm Syndrome, Viktorija thought, with all it's fun comforts and brand new shiny items, but her outraged face was ignored by both the strange girl and Aija, who had 'ooh-ed' at the idea. It made sense on why the younger girl would do so; their family wasn't at the place where they could afford brand new versions of all that, instead most of their things were hand-me-downs brought over from family that left their home countries, but it still bugged her. Gaining a fancy new bedroom was nothing in comparison to what they were losing.

"Great." Viktorija huffed out a breath as she felt her cousin begin to walk forwards, the hand that Viktorija had placed on Aija's shoulder tightened. She didn't want to let go, but Aija turned to face her and frowned.

"Trust me?"

Viktorija sighed, and she watched the blonde girl walk a distance away from them slightly. Confused eyes turned on them once the other noticed they weren't following and Viktorija felt her heart stutter. "I trust you," she said softly, "I don't trust her."

"I'm not asking you to," Aija whispered, her hands clutching together as she spoke. "I'm asking you to trust me."

It was tough – Viktorija was the eldest of the two, the more responsible. Or at least, she was supposed to be. Yet, she was the one who had basically led them into the trap set by this girl, truly thinking that the other had needed help finding her little sister. At the same time, Aija was nearly 16, and while she was naive – and overly trusting and kind and easily led – she was also really smart, a budding chess master that had already won some master leveled games.

Did that even matter though, Viktorija wondered, when they were being held by a group of crazy people?

"Are you coming?" The girl asked.

Aija gave her a look and Viktorija nodded, the word coming out of her mouth like sandpaper.

"Yes."

#hws lithuania #hws latvia #hws estonia #hetalia fanfiction #iii. story;; six sentence sunday #more the six sentences #but it is sunday #so i'm on brand for who i am

[alienside]

hi luna vitally important question. for all of your ocs if they were inexplicably youtubers what niche youtube subculture would they be a part of

the way u always ask about ALL my guys. i get to sit here and rant about them for 12 hours straight bc theres so many <3

(also im ASSUMING u mean like. a modern day au. like they live in our world. sorry if that's not the case)

aderyn: fashion vlogger. he'd be so annoying too bc the thing is his goal is to show ppl how to dress for their body type but also their level of comfort w/exposure, the weather, the occasion; like he wants ppl to rly think about what they're putting into a fit instead of just following trends. also he's constantly following keldan around like "let me give you a makeover next time ur in town" and keldan refuses. obviously. they have ongoing twitter beef about it so there's actually a surprising amount of fandom crossover

keldan: travel vlogger. like he lives out of a van/rv so he'd do periodic van tours, show off where he's staying, what he saw, etc. he always posted the videos like two weeks after he was actually there so no one could predict where he was going next. sometimes he does campsite reviews but they're all super vague like "the views were great! bathrooms were kinda gross if ur not a fan of bugs" and everyone's like "what does that mean. how many bugs were there". his viewership is all ppl who romanticize vanlife but would never actually do it.

melati: cafe reviews. luckily she lives in like... nyc or some other large city so there is no shortage of cafes to visit. she'll do repeat visits to cafes if she likes them or if they're the type to do seasonal specials or change their menu a lot. she's also active on tiktok where she does "what to order at starbucks" and it's those insane drink modifications that no reasonable human being would ever actually order. (except if you did for some ungodly reason actually order them, they'd be pretty fuckin good.)

seia: not actually on youtube. he shows up one day on keldan's channel and it's like... kind of extremely obvious that the two of them are traveling together but it's not like he shows up in every single place they visit (is keldan just not filming him? is he really not there? no one knows) and also the two of them never clarify their relationship (also true to canon) so comments are like "theyre dating for sure" "uh you can't just assume that" "theyre sleeping in the same bed tho?" "maybe seia has his own van" "it's homophobic to imply that they're just friends" "can't we just have rep for non-toxic male friendships?" etc etc. seia screenshots the best ones and sends them to the sky sea gang's discord server.

delwyn: daily vlogger, but it's clickbait-y shit like "i almost died doing parkour today" and then u watch it and he actually DID almost die and ur like. how did yt allow this to be uploaded. luckily he doesn't do any of the cringy prank stuff but he doesn't need to bc he's cringy enough on his own. the secondhand embarrassment is so real but he has a ton of followers anyway bc ppl are like "no way how is this guy still alive". it's like watching a train wreck or seeing a car crash. you just HAVE to find out more

chan: chan would have a cooking channel. he'd post recipes and tutorials and stuff and would have a long-running series where he invites other big-name youtubers and tries to teach them how to cook, except theyre always atrociously bad at it and it's funny. 90% of the ppl subbed to him don't cook, don't know how to cook, have never and will never try any of his recipes (even tho he'd make it SOOO easy for beginners) they literally just think he's funny and like to listen to his jokes. there's a small minority of ppl who do try his recipes and post rave reviews on their tumblr blogs about him. he never sees them bc he doesn't use tumblr

junhee: junhee would inexplicably have one of those asmr craft channels. i like to think he's really dedicated to those paper theaters (exhibit a, exhibit b) so most of his content is making those (he does a lot from scratch, zero pattern/template etc, but he also does requests for pokemon cards and stuff like that as well as theme requests. if someone requests like a ghibli movie or maybe a minecraft inspired one he'll take that into account. he's got a whole list he's working through). but he also sometimes does mini diorama stuff (exhibit a, exhibit b). those are extremely rare uploads bc theyre so time and resource intensive but ppl go crazy for them. he's got almost a million subs even tho ppl have never seen his face or heard his voice. he rarely even replies to comments. it's literally like he just logs in to upload a video and leaves again. no one's gonna say he's their fave youtuber or anything but no one hates him that's for sure

sasha: sasha would be a daily vlogger. just like here's my life etc. except they still work in a hospital/medical care so the vlogs are supremely censored bc of hipaa and other privacy policies and also bc some of the stuff they do on the daily is actually gross and would get taken off youtube. they have like max 6k subs but those 6k subs are dedicated. they love sasha's content and are like genuinely invested even tho sasha's extremely vague all the time

hana: hana would literally be one of those tech review vloggers. she gets free stuff and sponsorships etc from cutting edge companies and startups. microsoft sends her care packages. she has like a billion subs. it's like 63% male viewership so she says it's only bc they think she's mildly attractive but all the comments sections are ppl genuinely interested in her reviews and opinions. healthiest yt comment section on the planet no joke

kei: SUPER into astrology. she posts videos like "how to interpret your daily horoscope" and "what mercury in retrograde means for YOU". but she's actually more into tiktok where she does vids like "zodiac signs as vines" and "zodiac songs as hit 1999 singles" etc etc. has a cult following that takes everything she says super seriously even tho she herself is like "guys it's not that serious"

other fun trivia:

junhee has a tumblr that's totally untraceable to his yt account. the last time he reblogged a post was in 2016 and he only uses it to find the recipe reviews ppl post about chan's channel.

the tsh main trio have a weird poly thing going on. they're not out about it but junhee's guested on chan's channel ("this is my bf junhee", zero mention of said bf having a yt channel bc that's how junhee prefers it) and there are brief glimpses of delwyn's filming through the apartment where ppl see the kitchen and are like "isn't that....?" somehow delwyn always sees those comments and replies "idk who this chan guy is :/" and no one can tell if he's being serious

in this universe sasha and hana are madly in love because there's no "you literally killed my brother" "well he came back didn't he?" conflict to tear them apart. they're so gross and mushy about it. sasha catches hana in their vlogs, they do unboxing videos together, and every time they kiss or are generally in love on camera ppl post fan edits on twitter like "omg they're so in love" "get you someone who looks at you like hana looks at sasha" etc.

no one knows hana and kei are friends until they both show up in one of sasha's vlogs. the entire internet explodes bc the whole jokey rivalry their fandoms have built up ("theyre so different they wouldn't get along if they knew each other irl") just crumbles.

if seia DID have a youtube channel it would be asmr bullet journal/calligraphy stuff. also stationery-from-aliexpress unboxing videos. but his current lifestyle (driving across the country in a van with his not-boyfriend) doesn't really suit the stationery hoarding thing. so.

keldan finally agrees to let aderyn give him a makeover and then they DON'T FILM IT. keldan films exactly one video with the Look that aderyn puts together for him and then never does it again. everyone is freaking out about it

#.txt #rabbit-rays #BEN. BENJI. IM OBSESSED #like. genuinely invested in this au now hold on.... hold on. #this is soooooo much fun to think about and genuinely. truly. i love this #i love YOU thank you #i don't think i forgot anything but like.... if i did.... whoops #ttotss #the starless hour #btw there would totally be crossovers #like chan would invite melati to taste test his creations kind of crossovers

[jonquilandlace]

My youtube is currently flooded with videos of either -gen alpha wishing they were teenagers during the pandemic -people roasting gen alpha for wishing they were teenagers during the pandemic

As someone who turned 21 during the pandemic, first off it definitely wasn't as romanticized as the people wishing they were teenagers during it are imagining it was (like. my dad tried making me a whipped coffee one time and failed lmao, it was super sweet but no we did not have whipped coffee daily. I never made sourdough. I was struggling through some of my hardest college classes, just now online, was realizing my career path was about to shift entirely (I wanted to be a doctor, folks! And then the pandemic made me realize I did NOT want to deal with either being in a lab or being someone who had to respond to these situations permanently!) and also would regularly have panic attacks on my mom at about 2 am because circadian rhythm was not a thing that exists when you don't go outside and whoops my anxiety meds wore off and I still am not tired! My grandpa died during COVID in a nursing home. He had dementia and absolutely did not know what was happening, but the last time we got to see him was two days before the lockdown began, and even that was because I had heard of a case in the next city over from us and knew we needed to go see him or else we wouldn't get to. Thankfully (I say somewhat bitterly) he wanted cremated, so we finally were able to have a funeral for him last summer. I was absolutely terrified that if anyone in my family got COVID, we would die. We didn't get it for almost a year and a half, but we were exposed twice, and I legitimately cried myself to sleep over it repeatedly.)

But that said. I also feel like,,, the other side of it isn't quite right, either? Like there are things about the pandemic that I do admit to fucking missing. I miss being able to embroider in class. I miss my mom and I doing donut and coffee runs at least every other day because the drive throughs were safe (PLEASE respect essential workers, yall, they got hit so unfairly by this and the things I miss of the pandemic are heavily based on me being middle class and thus having the privilege to benefit from their work). I miss my cat sitting on my lap during meetings, and staying up until 2 am on the regular listening to soundtracks of musicals I'd never heard of before because there wasn't something to interrupt it. My parents are among the lucky few who still get to work from home, but I miss the even slight relief the stimulus checks gave us. As someone whose closest friends have never lived close to me, who live even further now, I miss Zoom game nights that now no one really wants to do anymore. (I will admit for my friend group there might be other reasons, ha, but the essence remains.) I know aesthetics are still a thing, and still a thing getting roasted, but I even loved that first week back to in-person uni, when "style" was so non-homogenous suddenly, when there wasn't a real "trend" because in lockdown everyone had just... done what they wanted! I came back in full Dark Academia blazers and button downs, and I sat across from someone dressed proto-Y2K and someone in cottagecore in my first class, and the difference was so much bigger than what you'd think if I said the same now! I miss the boy in my virtual creative writing class whose gimmick it was to sit next to a halloween skeleton in a hammock like they were roommates! I miss Among Us and Minecraft nights. I miss the (pre-corporate) Ratatouille the Musical phase of tiktok! I miss the sea shanty era! I miss wildlife coming back through cities they hadn't been in in ages, and pollution fading to where cities could see the stars. I miss just... making the best of it!

And yeah, this is absolutely romanticism! It's absolutely a sign of my privilege! But god, it was wonderful to have all this darkness and to see so many people trying so hard to bring back the light! The pandemic fucking sucked! But the human spirit during it was so beautiful nevertheless!

#jonniejonniejonquil #pandemic #covid 19 #im scared to use the real tags but like. i just. i think this deserves to be out there. #i just. think the truth is somewhere right between.