“Self Portrait as I” by Ae Hee Lee, published in The New England Review Volume 41, No. 4 (2020)
Ae Hee Lee was born in South Korea and raised in Peru. She received her MFA from the University of Notre Dame and is a PhD candidate in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Her poetry has been published or is forthcoming in the Georgia Review, Southeast Review, Poetry, Pleiades, Denver Quarterly, and the Adroit Journal, among others. She is the author of two chapbooks: Bedtime // Riverbed (Compound Press, 2017) and Dear Bear (Platypus Press, 2021).
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Open Water
It does no good to trick and weave and lose
the other ghosts, to shove the buried deeper
into the sandy loam, the riverine silt, still you come,
my faithful one, the sound of a body so persistent
in water I cannot tell if it is a wave or you
moving through waves. A month before you died
you wrote a letter to old friends saying you swam
with a pod of dolphins in open water, saying goodbye,
but what you told me most about was the eye.
That enormous reckoning eye of an unknown fish
that passed you during that last–ditch defiant swim.
On the shore, you described the fish as nothing
you’d seen before, a blue–gray behemoth moving slowly
and enduringly through its deep fathomless
North Pacific waters. That night, I heard more
about that fish and that eye than anything else.
I don’t know why it has come to me this morning.
Warm rain and landlocked, I don’t deserve the image.
But I keep thinking how something saw you, something
was bearing witness to you out there in the ocean
where you were no one’s mother, and no one’s wife,
but you in your original skin, right before you died,
you were beheld, and today in my kitchen with you
now ten years gone, I was so happy for you.
- Ada Limón
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Rebecca van Laer
Les Chats
Fiction from NER 44.1 (2023)
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No one knows how to hurt you if you always play the fool. No one can be truly disappointed in you if they don’t expect any better.
ig: homewardnotes
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Adult nonfiction
Follows journalist Samantha Allen on a cross-country road trip through red states in America to explore queer community and activism, visiting drag shows, rallies, queer bars, and more
Also reflects on her experiences as an ex-Mormon trans woman now married to another woman
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Review: Off Balance - Carl Green In Particular
Following the quintessentially quirky Off Guard, Carl Green has released his final EP of 2023: Off Balance. With a vocal likeness to Paul Heaton, Carl proclaims messages of love, bitterness and anger; a wonderfully eclectic mix of tales. Opening with The Union Hotel, a dreamy vibe creates a feeling of far-off, protected memories. Carl professes the importance of living in the moment as events are occurring, romanticising a relationship and the world of the Union Hotel. Arguably the best track of the whole ensemble is Algorithm and Blues: a critique of social media algorithms and how we are conditioned to feel as a result of the gaze of society. The track as a whole has an electronic and distorted feel to it - as though trapped within a computer screen - just out of reach from the rest of the world. Good Job You Screamed contains fast-paced strings and sparse piano notes which create an unsettling feeling of pressure. Tension builds up throughout the track as Carl describes the anger involved during a break-up, especially with the other person lashing out and victimizing themself. The closing track, Fine Arts Student, discusses the nature of an artist parting ways with the world of art due to society's now normalised standard of what 'art' must be. It questions why we must put 'art' into boxes of good and bad allowing it to lose all sense of creativity and freedom of expression. Once again, Carl has created a beautiful collection of songs, though all with a similar, quirky style unlike his usual genre-defying creations.
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Station Identification Time
Who Am I?
I’m a writer originally from Falmouth, MA who now lives in Oxford, MA with my awesome wife Veronica and four cats who don’t like to let us sleep in.
After 15 years with the Falmouth Enterprise, where I worked as a general and political reporter, blogger, and editor, I left the news industry to focus on my creative writing.
In addition to my novels (more on that in a minute) I’m a…
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October Special Edition: The Edgewater Chronicles by Paul Deady
October Special Edition: The Edgewater Chronicles by Paul Deady
I was lucky enough to snag an ARC of The Edgewater Chronicles by Tom Deady from Crossroad Press. I read it during my bout of Covid-19 (after two years, six months, three vaccinations, and gallons of hand sanitizer, it finally got me…). Covid sucks, but it gave me a good excuse to catch up on media I’d been neglecting.
So, what are we working with here? I’ll start with the spoiler-free basics and…
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