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#my cute pathetic meow meow
nari-nterest · 1 year
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compilation of juwon having a rough first day at work : pt 1
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discount-kirishima · 4 months
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guys i think we're sleeping on the best choso panels
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necrominn · 7 days
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👉👈 politely begging you to draw more levi he's adorable in your style
ofc!! he's my fav muse hehe 😼
and thank you so much 😭
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i drew him in a swimming costume as well but that'll be for another day probably
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tigerr-cherry · 4 months
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we're ignoring canon in favor of a more dramatic ending d(>_・ )
Narinder isn't dead but he is very pissed lol
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ghoulgirly · 1 year
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i (like many others) am not a fan of g3 toralei being an anti-human antagonist. if they weren't cowards they would make her and clawdeen girlfriends because obviously they are meant to be together
however. the enemies to lovers potential.
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nvllcrowley · 1 year
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My baby my mipy my bae my little meow meow my
I will throw several rocks at him
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I present you-
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✨him✨💕
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brighteyedspitz · 2 years
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shrimpy says wet beast wednesday is the WORST
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sugaryspirits · 1 year
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Doodle Page of how the Oneshot’s going!
Laz got in big trouble cause she was antagonizing a certain someone LOL
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lo-cinno · 6 months
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No I do not like ‘soft boys’. I just like pathetic men.
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kobaenii-a · 2 years
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yes i want kobeni to be protected but i also want her to be rattled so hard her brain turns to mush
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luvlyhyunjin · 3 months
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Carousel┃H.HJ SMAU
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・❥・Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Female Reader ・❥・Genre: Kind of (?) Villainous FL , angst, romance, smut , college au, enemies to lovers, very minor love triangle, slow burn, social media au (with written parts) ・❥・Synopsis: It girl, Queen Bee the most popular girl around campus Song Y/N was envied by everyone. She has it all, money, the looks and brains. After making a bet with her bestfriend Yeosang her life takes a turn to the worse, seeming to lose everyone around her she doesn't expect the only person to stick by her side to be her Ex-first love and long time enemy - Hwang Hyunjin. (The bet part is inspired by the k-drama tempted however nothing else is the same) ・❥・Warnings: contains mature themes minors dni, heavy angst, Vulgar language, swearing, kys jokes etc. Mentions of weight and disordered eating. Sexual themes and talks. FL is really mean and malicious at times (will get better ofc) , eventual smut. {will add more later if needed}. ・❥・Status: completed. TW = TRIGGER WARNING. W = WRITTEN PART. ・❥・ spotify playlist:
Profiles (Y/N's Friends) | Profiles (Hyunjin's Friends) | Profiles (Notable Cast)
⇀ One - Cheating Again.
⇀ Two - New Girl.
⇀ Three - I hate Her.
⇀ Four - The Beast Is Out.
⇀ Five - Early Birdies.
⇀ Six - What’s Your Problem?
⇀ Seven - Talking In Circles.
⇀ Eight - Just One Meow (TW).
⇀ Nine - Give Us A Chance.
⇀ Ten - Operation : Hwang's Pet.
⇀ Eleven - Why Is It Always Her? (TW) (W)
⇀ Twelve - Lock Me Up.
⇀ Thirteen - The Bet.
⇀ Fourteen - A little Too Silly.
⇀ Fifteen - I'm A Fuck Up
⇀ Sixteen - Wrapped In Regret (W)
⇀ Seventeen - On Some Me Shit.
⇀ Eighteen - Pink Flowers.
⇀ Nineteen - My One And Only.
⇀ Twenty - Make It Up To Me.
⇀ Twenty-One - Furry Convention.
⇀ Twenty -Two - Hello Kitty Can Get It.
⇀ Twenty-Three - I'm Human Too.
⇀ Twenty-Four - If Poetry Was A Person. (W)
⇀ Twenty-Five - You Got Me.
⇀ Twenty-Six - I Want To See You.
⇀ Twenty-Seven - It's A Wife Thing.
⇀ Twenty-Eight - Forever And Ever.
⇀ Twenty-Nine - Alpha Pheromones.
⇀ Thirty- Such A Waste.
⇀ Thirty-One - Wish you could stay. (W)
⇀ Thirty-Two - Yeji Come Home.
⇀ Thirty-Three - I'm Pathetic.
⇀ Thirty-Four - Drown me in your feelings.
⇀ Thirty-Five - Flickers Of The Past I (W)(TW)
⇀ Thirty-Six - Why Am I Always Thirdwheeling?
⇀ Thirty-Seven - Jin Is Missing !
⇀ Thirty-Eight - Only A Warning.
⇀ Thirty-Nine - I Need Him.
⇀ Forty- Permanently Scowling.
⇀ Forty-One - stupidly crazy about you.
⇀ Forty-Two - You're My Biggest Wish. (W)
⇀ Forty-Three - You're A Cute Slut.
⇀ Forty-Four - Because I Love You.
⇀ Forty-Five - Light Of My Life.
⇀ Forty-Six - Out Of Time. (W)
⇀ Forty-Seven - Everything Sucks.
⇀ Forty-Eight - Wifey Night.
⇀ Forty-Nine - I'm Sorry I Love You.
⇀ Fifty - Flickers Of The Past II (TW)(W)
⇀ Fifty-One - Long Lonely Dream.
⇀ Fifty-Two - you're so edgy and cool
⇀ Fifty-Three - I was made for loving you (TW)(W)
⇀ Fifty-Four - I believe in you.
⇀ Fifty-Five - i want to die next to you.
⇀ Fifty-Six - new adventures with friends.
⇀ Fifty-Seven - Who The Fuck Is They.
⇀ Fifty-Eight - i feel like a monstrous creature.
⇀ Fifty-Nine - this happens once every few lifetimes (w)
⇀ Sixty - Epilogue.
⇀ Things you might have missed..
・❥・Taglist: Closed.
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error707-thatdude · 2 years
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Day I don't even know at this point of attempting to draw Phoenix
All I can manage are tiny chibis and Beanix
Desperately trying to figure out how to draw this man how do other artists do it
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hussyknee · 1 month
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Was woken up this morning when this barrelled off my headboard, ricocheted over my face and bolted. Was yelling and bleeding before I woke all the way up. Didn't even give them pause while they crashed into the rest of the furniture and upended the waste basket.
I'm going to sell these yahoos to the mole people.
Méka ignored them to pad after me while I treated my face with Dettol, twining herself about my ankles and meowing with what seemed like concern. But turned out she just wanted her breakfast. Or was concerned about both me and breakfast. They might not be mutually exclusive to a cat.
Otoh, they have zoomies because the morning is blessedly cool for the first time in weeks. I'm so glad not to wake up already overheated and sweating that I'm full of magnanimity and goodwill even with half my face stinging. Not that they weren't forgiven pathetically quickly. Mfers are infuriatingly cute even when they're wreaking havoc and mayhem.
(I'm okay. It was only a little scratch but ears really do bleed a lot)
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let-the-sunset-rise · 4 months
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I love the concept of russingon where Fingon is being like "hi guys look at my husband he's a pethetic wet man I love him so much he's my pathetic little meow meow he's so soft and cute and imperfect ❤️🥰 He's so babygirl you'll love him he's so handsome and hot and strong 😳😻😘 I rescue him all the time he's my princess bride 🥰"And then the camero zomes in a white ginger lanky nine feet tall dude who's drenched in orc blood, has a haunted look in his face and stares at you with the light of the trees shining through his grey eyes. Like sure man whatever
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darlingofvalyria · 9 months
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❝—Aemond, just shove your fist up my skirt!❞
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part 02 | baby, all you gotta do is trust me
chapter summary:
[ Cregan is a menace in bed (sexily), Aemond is a menace on social media (derogatory), Helaena is a menace (lovingly). ]
[ 4,715 ] [ series masterlist ] | best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,
contains— smutty beginnings, a bit angsty, mostly fluff - nsfw: p & v sex, orgasm denial, degradation kink, mating press - lemme just introduce you to firefighter!cregan stark ahe - toxic alysmond but both of them are at fault, fwb situations, fake dating, slow-ish burn - sad sack aemy is a pathetic meow meow - viserys i has a spank kink, no i will not elaborate further - no use of y/n - no gods, no kings, no betas.
a/n— it's entirely my fault, i know. i made cregan too hot. aemond might be a bit op w/ his relationship with reader, but he & her have a comfortable past...soz. comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡
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There's this thing that Cregan does with his hips.
It's always that sweet spot when your legs are either over his shoulders or haphazardly splayed against his waist, wide open as he drilled into you like a miner trying to find gold (and he would argue that in fact, your orgasms are gold to him)—
There's that moment when he feels you clenching, when you're so close to the precipice of seeing heaven that the motherfucker of the North slows down, sweat-slicked and breathing hard, he slows down enough at the haze of you reaching orgasm where he just.
Produces waves across his body, keeping a slow, toe-curling momentum with his hips, body-waving his dick in and out of you in a slow but purposeful movement— and he's smirking down atyou're fucked out state growing irritated doing something for him.
And before you're truly out of that orgasmic state, about to curse his entire bloodline of ruined orgasms forever or push him off his own godsdamned bed and break his stupidly good penis, he's bracing himself against the side of your head, laughing— not meanly, just amused, the asshole —and asks, almost like he's just asking you for the weather, "Does the pretty little slut want to cum?"
And he's not really asking, because he's grasped your thighs, shoving you into a mating press, and having you see stars in seconds.
"You think my neighbours called 911?" he muses, fixing his hair while in front of the floor length mirror in his room as you lounge about lazily on his bed, already washed and dressed for your own shift at Meleys, sans your pants. That's still in the living room from where Cregan yanked it.
"Hm?" you ask idly, not really focused on the conversation as you scrolled through IG, rolling your eyes at Aegon's post; Hel's big brother was in Ibiza getting sun-tanned in the morning (as much as his pale as fuck skin could tan) and getting it down at clubs at night, liking it nevertheless.
"Your scream at the end there was so loud, I'm pretty sure you broke Mrs. Beesbury out of her coma." You look up at Cregan's menace of a grin, playful and goofy in his tight shirt and thick work pants for his shift at the fire station. "I might be expecting five jars of honey from Mr. Beesbury as thanks."
You roll your eyes at him, laughing. He always got like this post-orgasm; loose and goofy and prone to making the dumbest jokes. It's cute, and on a good day, it does it for you.
It's not like you don't find Cregan attractive. It's how you got into this FWB situation with him in the first place; the dark hair, the scruff on his face, the firefighter bod— and by the Seven, what. A. Bod — when he and his co-workers stumbled into Meleys two months back, seeing your former high school crush aged up and hot had you on your knees for him in the back alley faster than he can hold you from the roots of your hair and grunt.
On a good day, it's easy to see getting past the easy arrangement of sending emojis to alert you wanna get dicked down and him sending a tongue and a heart, sending memes just for the hell of it at random parts of the day— breaking the easy friendship, the nice arrangement, and see where it gets you two, with Stark. On a good day, you can be submerge in the what-if, cute couple-y scenarios and giggle.
But despite the orgasm that could shatter a septa's vows quicker than you can say 'Oh holy Mother', your good day was tentative, broken with a click.
Aemond had made his first social media post since breaking up (the latest one) with Alys.
A darkened bathroom with explicit, orange-glowed lights that covered most of his person but not the slick show of water, freshly showered, against his torso, his chest, his abs. Droplets clung in places one would imagine licking him all over.
You know that bathroom to be the one in his high class gym, one of his favourite places. Since the toxic cycle with Alys started, he frequented it more. Aemond Targaryen was a man of routines and sharp o'clocks, so you know this isn't particularly off-key for him. But the posing (mostly) completely bare with water on his wiry muscles?
"Oh, this whore." You can't help it, as much as it irritated you— because it is clearly a means to get it across that he is newly single without actually saying anything, you can just imagine his DMs firing up with notifs — you couldn't help but giggle at the absurdity.
Aemond Targaryen. Publicly posting a thirstrap.
As public as his social media can get, it's a private account with less than 200 people.
A call rings in your phone, Helaena's face flashing, and you're still giggling when she half-shrieks, "DID YOU SEE HIS IG STORY OH MY GOD."
Your gaze meets Cregan, his bushy, dark eyebrows firing upward upon being able to hear Hel's voice while you winced. You put her on speaker as Cregan giddily comes closer to the phone.
"Good evening to you too, Helaena," you say warmly, giving Cregan's arm a light kick, mouthing, 'Don't you have work?'
Stark had the audacity to shush you, pressing a finger against his lips. You mouth, 'Gossip.' In a mature response, he stuck his tongue out.
Truly a wonder that not twenty minutes ago, this man had you keening over an orgasm.
Helaena continues on, "— I've had enough of this. I already have one slutty brother, I cannot have another one. There can only be two sluts in this family and no more. And that backlit? Seven hells, the whorishness."
"Hel, babe, you are not a slut." You meet eyes with Cregan who waggles his eyebrows, pursing his lips in an air kiss. "Trust me."
Hel snorts. "I know that, I meant my father. The whore of Babylon got nothing on Viserys first of his name, spank king extraordinaire."
If you could simultaneously choke on air and saliva, you would. "Helaena Targaryen!"
Cregan smacked his entire face down on his bed and ate his covers to muffle his laughter, his body shuddering as he did his best. His ass did look good in this view.
"What? Stranger may have mercy on me, but I tell you, before he died and before their marriage imploded, and at times traumatically problematic, they sure did get it freaky when they could. They gave it a good run and traumatised me in the process. I shouldn't have insisted my room was that close to them, maybe I would have ended up being an upstanding citizen of the community."
Cregan flips up, giggles spilling him as he muffled it with his hands. You kicked him again, trying to keep him away from your phone lest Hel figure out where you were again.
"Helaena, my love, compared to your brothers, you are such an upstanding person of the citizenry, the mayor should be giving you an award at this point."
"Right? Maiden have mercy, how busy do you think your shift is going to be tonight?"
You bit your lip guiltily while Cregan smirked, standing up as he finished lacing his boots. Hel thought you had gone straight to work, making up excuses about trying out a new recipe for next month. "Um. Not sure? Probably not by much, it's a weekday."
You don't lie, not really. Cregan mouths 'liar' and throw a pillow at him.
"Good, I'll send Aemond to you tonight. I already told him yesterday and he kind of just made a noncommittal hum— praise hands for another traumatised child of Alicent Hightower who has his own brand of communications issues —" You can just see Helaena's hard eye roll, and you massaged your lips to keep your laughter. The first time you met Hel, you never would have thought she slapped-back self-deprecating jokes out of her pockets faster than you can think a response to the last one. She was sweet, kind, a floral, bohemian girl with her pastel lavender pants and daisy flower clips.
And then you met her, vibed, and there was a dark funny humour to Helaena Targaryen that you always fought just bursting out laughter at the most inopportune of moments.
As sweet and floaty as she appeared, she was a menace.
"— anyway, Mr. Social Whore is going there later tonight, I made him promise. I said if you don't tell me he didn't come, I'm posting every photo I have of him from his naked baby pics to pre-pubescent Teen Teeny-Weeny Aemond, I do not care."
You whistle. "Damn, Hel, okay, I'll tell you when he comes."
"Good. OPLAN Get Aemond Out of This Bad Track Before He Fully Becomes Aegon 2.0 has now commenced. I love my brothers, I truly do, but I can only handle one Aegon at a time. I cannot be scrolling through social media in fear for my life times two, bestie, I refuse." Hel's voice pitches. "I'll talk to you later, bye, babe."
"Bye, Hel!"
Before you could put the phone down, she calls out, teasing, "BYE CREGAN!"
Silence. Then Cregan laughs, calling out, "Bye, Hel!"
The last thing either of you heard is her tinkling giggle before she drops the call.
"Fuck," you mutter, call finished.
Cregan wolf-whistles. "She's good."
You throw another pillow. "It's because you kept giggling like a schoolgirl!"
"Excuse me, that was a manly schoolgirl giggle, I'll have you know." He picks up his keys, winking. "Come on, I'll drop you off at the bar before I pole dance the night away to my job."
You cracked, snorting through the mental image of Cregan Stark, Lead Firefighter of the Ice Wolves Division, shaking his ass on the pole. You pad to the living room. "I'll give you a dollar for your troubles."
"Cheap ass!" he shouts after you.
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Aemond arrives two hours into your shift, a little awkward— no doubt remembering your silent judgment of him the morning of his post-break up affair as that has also been the last interaction you've had with him before this, almost a week ago, and now here, meeting you at the insistence (and plotting) of his sister.
Your eyes meet ice water blue. He freezes, then straightens up, giving you a shrewd tilt forward. A nod. It's jerky, mechanical. You roll your eyes, mouth twitching, before you motion him over.
You are already making his favoured drink starter, Sazerac, when he slides into an empty seat on the bar. Your back is to him, refusing anymore interaction, and you know the usual comfort he finds in the eased silence you provide is nonexistent.
Out of all of Helaena's brothers, you've always liked Aemond the most. You teased him it was because the others are Aegon, duh, and Daeron, still in high school and never really around you "old people", but it's also because it's so easy to be around Aemond. When Helaena introduced you to the tall, lithe man who hummed politely at his sister's introduction of you, you found him intriguing.
It's not just the scarred eye, or the pretty, almost marble-statue visage (because by gods, seriously. The Mother took her sweet, loving time crafting the fourth Targaryen, bloody hell— like those cheekbones? With that cupid's bow lip? Okay, Mother, you have your favourites, we get it), or that he tended to keep himself in the background, let everyone else stretch into the conversation.
He often dipped in and out of the social pool like a mirage; a trick of the eye. A nod, a hum— almost, always an answer to someone else's direct question or someone— usually Aegon — dragging him into the conversation with an anecdote needing an input, not matter how inane.
And it intrigued you.
You took yourself and your drink of choice at the time— a Shirley Temple — and sat right beside him. He looked up at you, that one eye of violet widening slightly because you had just. Plopped beside him, thighs touching, before he smoothens out his expression, shifting at your direct eye contact and small smile.
"Can I... help you?" he finally asks, thoroughly waylaid but trying not to appear so.
"The scar." You nodded to his face as he froze. "Tell me about it."
His face had been so controlled, so guarded, when he tersely said, "My sister didn't tell you?"
"Nope. It's not something for her to tell me, isn't it? It's a personal thing. Most scars are." You shrugged. "Even if they aren't, I'd prefer if you tell me. It's your body. Your body your story."
He stared at you for a quarter of a minute before he asked, "Are you drunk?"
"No, why?"
"You're too... forward."
You smirked. "I've been told. So are you telling me or nah, pretty boy?"
And he stared at you for a minute longer, or two, or three— the stare flickers to emotions so fast; shock, confusion, flatter, his own intrigue — before he told you about a stupid fight between children, about a stupid reason par another, and though his words had been concise, obviously keeping a hell of a lot more between vowels and tightened jaw, you don't press him. You let him talk.
At the end, you said, "Badass. Definitely less of a lame reason than what I was imagining, but 9/10 story. Your voice really sold most of it. It's good for telling stories."
In his brain, you could just see the click when his eyes flicked to his sister and back to you. Ah, so that's how they're friends. And he hums, truly, more than anything, stumped by you. And you smiled.
"You're definitely going to be my favourite Targaryen Brother."
It's no wonder then, that you two had gotten close. You had forced a friendship out of him, and the very unattached guy to literally anything new— suspicious of offerings, angry at pity, wary of kindness — had taken into it with a white flag.
So when the whole Alys situation happened, things shifted.
"Sazerac," you announce finally, placing the drink in front of him. He thanks you with a quiet hum, having stopped fidgeting now that you've acknowledged his existence. You raise your eyebrow as his sips turns to gulp, crossing your arms.
Just because you had promised Hel you were going to help him, doesn't mean you were going to make it easy for him. He knows you're pissed; despite the calm structure he had composed himself in, you can see the twitch in his fingers, the way his eye turned away from you the moment you refused to project your normal, warm aura with him.
He settles his drink down, watching the rim of the glass for a minute before he speaks, low and steady. "You're angry with me."
You snort softly. "Wonder why you think so?"
He sighs. "I didn't mean to. To let it get this... messy." He winces at the word, hating it.
You sigh. "Aemy." He comes alive at the familiar nickname, sitting straighter, a relief on the edge of a cliff. "Honestly, I don't give a shit. You want to be trapped in this mess? You don't want to listen to other people tellign you, 'hey dude, maybe no?'"
He winces, remembering the third time he and Alys had broken up. The police car, Aegon vomitting, Hel crying. It makes you roll your eyes.
"Sure, have at it. Have fun, in fact. There's only so much sympathy I can give you for seeking out the problem that you know is a problem before I get tired. Before I stop giving a shit, because there's someone else I love that is starting to get hurt by it. I can only love you enough as much as you are willing to help yourself." Your eyes then narrow, half-glaring into him. "But what I'm truly getting angry about is how much this is affecting Helaena."
"I understand." He sighs again, calling your name but you raise a hand.
"Hold on, I have a bone to pick with you."
"Okay."
You look at him. A second. He waits. And waits.
He speaks up. "Yes?"
You sigh. It's hard to stay mad at him, you've always found so. "I don't know. I had paragraphs to say to you in front of a mirror, but now that it's you I'm looking at, everything just went away." Under your breath, you mutter, "stupid pathetic meow, meow face."
His mouth twitch. Ah. The familiar Targaryen smugness. Pinch Cocky Aemond is back. "Did my face distract you too much, ñuha riña my lady?"
You roll your eyes, unable to hide your own smile. If you called him Aemy, he called you the High Valyrian, his ancestral tongue, my lady. To tease, to establish comfort. You've always liked this better, being closer to Aemond than despising him for his stupid choices and big feelings he has a hard time unraveling, so he makes said stupid choices.
It's ease, it's familiarity, and you both fall into a high step.
"Okay, nerd, so what did Hel—" A customer calls you. "—One sec. Sorry about that, what can I get you? Ooh, nice choice, alright give me a minute." As you pulled a measuring cup and gin, you nod back to Aemond. "What did Hel tell you we're doing exactly?"
"That you're helping me... with Alys." A hesitance. "I know you don't like her—"
"— whoa, hold up, Aemy, I like her. I like her very much. I think she's a bad bitch, absolutely sexy, and clearly, she has good tastes which I respect her for." He had the good graces to blush, still sort of unused by the compliments you so freely give him. "What I don't like is how your relationship with her— here, hey, you're welcome! — has evolved. You were so good with each other, Aemy. And then..."
You mimic a sound of a crash and burn, and a tiny person screaming. He huffs out a laugh before sobering.
"I know." He sighs. "I don't... I don't understand it myself. There's a part of me that recognises I should walk away. And then there's another part that is just... it's Alys."
His palms, open and upturned, falls on the counter. Pensive. Begging. A confused, wanting penitent looking up at a god asking for direction. "I've loved her for so long." His voice quiets, like the words are sacred.
"I've loved her for so long," he repeats as if the words have worn itself out on his tongue, "it's hard to see past her. Ñuha riña, she has always been my future. It's all her. I don't know anything else outside of her."
You pour an Arbor Gold in a stemmed glass and pushes it to him. It's his favourite drink and he smiles at you, at the care, at the memories.
"I understand that," you say carefully. "And I already promised Hel I'd do it, whatever you need of me, to make her see you. But you should know that I'm doing this more for her than for you because... Aems, I believe you deserve so much more. A love that's exciting without it being harmful. A love that's pretty, as easy as breathing. One that doesn't hurt at the edges and pinches like a barbed wire."
"Is that possible for me?" he asks ironically, trying for a joke but you catch that lilt at the end. At that exhale. So much of his history had been broached by pain, borne from it. There are injuries that run so deep, they continue to bleed.
"Honestly?"
He places the wineglass down. "Yes."
You smile. "Yes."
You don't know if he believes you, or if he just indulges in your starry-eyed view of his future, but he smiles nevertheless, as best as he can and murmurs a gratitude.
It's pacifying, insecurity. You let it go for now because there's nothing you can say to a person truly down to trust your words.
"You're going to do this, then?" he asks. "For Alys and I?"
You shake your head. "I'm doing this for Hel and no chores for a month." And you, to show you that there's more past a future that you and I both know doesn't exist anymore. That if you prolong it, ignore how deep the barbed wire has gotten into your skin, it'll be too hard to untangle it when you realised you've bled out enough.
So will you just wear the pain proudly after that?
You shake another order in place, pulling ice and mint. You raise an eyebrow. "I've always known I was going to help. Are you willing to do this? Honestly Aemy, this can go two ways. One, she'll realise losing you is the worst thing that can ever happen— truly losing you to someone else, or two, she thinks you're truly moving on from her. And that's assuming she even thinks it's real, like I mean come on, it's me and you."
He arches a perfect silver eyebrow. You had already asked him if he gets his eyebrows done, and apart from Helaena messing with him back in high school, has been all natural. You think he's lying.
"And what is me and you?"
"Aemy, come on. I'm your sister's best friend. We're like... I dunno, family? She's always known that."
"Doesn't mean she's never felt jealous of you," he hums, swirling his wine with pinch fingers. It's elegant. Entrancing. The red liquid swirls and there are knots and strain in his hand, going through his arm.
And despite the bags under his eye, he still looks so good. Silvery blond hair wrapped in a low half updo, the shirt that hid nothing of his muscled chest.
His words sink in, breaking you from the hypnotizing reverie of looking at a marbled statue. "What? She felt jealous of me?"
He smiles gently, a little bit cockily. "Ñuha riña. Of course she did. Just because she understood your place in my life, in Hel's, doesn't erase the fact that you're gorgeous and we get along well. She liked you, truly, but she isn't blind. It's nothing that you've done, even she knew that. You're just too perfect."
You blink at him, unable to stop yourself from blushing. He chuckles meanly.
"Shut up."
He exhales a laugh. "I didn't say anything!"
"You know what you did." You give him the stink eye before you serve two more customers, thanking at a pretty hefty tip from one of your regulars, bidding him goodnight as he left. It is a slow night, you didn't lie to Helaena.
You almost don't catch Aemond murmuring, "I've missed this. I've missed you. I never like it when you're pissed at me."
"Good," you joke. "So you can watch yourself better. But yeah, I've missed you too. So how are we doing this?"
"I thought you had an idea, having agreed to Hel's plan before I even knew there was a plan."
You roll your eyes. "Well, I've had a few ideas here and there... it's more your comfort I'm worried about."
He frowns, pouty lips pursing. "My comfort?"
You place your palms behind the bar and hitch yourself up by your physical strength. He leans forward, confused still. You smirk. "Well, Aemy, I'm wearing a skirt."
"I... I don't know what that means, ñuha riña." He blinks his one good eye. "Nice skirt? You look pretty."
You force a pout instead of getting flustered by the compliment out of the blue. "I forgot you weren't all that popular in high school."
"No need for insults," he deadpans.
You laugh. "We're going to make Alys jealous, right? It'll be too much to hard launch my new status of existence in your life when you just broke up... but... if we can allude, at least..."
"I-" His frown deepens, the skin on his other eye, the scar, pinches as you see his mind whirr and whirr where your mind was reaching. "I'm still confused."
"Gods, alright, I'll just show you."
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"Dude, bro, just put your hand under my skirt—"
"Ñuha riña—"
"Yeah, you know what, godsfuckingdamnit, if I alienate you that bad just shove your fist up my skirt, yes, Aemond, just shove your fist up my skirt!"
He calls your name, tips of his ears beet red, as a few patrons turn to you two, bewildered and a little amused. You wave at them but you sigh noisily at him. You're sat beside him on the counter, your phone on one hand with the camera app open, and you're glaring at him.
"Are you seriously telling me you've never placed your hand on Alys' thigh?"
"Of course I have!" He lets out a strangled sigh and groan.
"What's the difference?"
"I've never done it so publicly," he explains as calmly as possible, as if he's talking to a child. "And with the idea of posting it for everyone else to ogle. I've always just done it... under a table. Or. On her knee..."
"You're blushing so hard, you look like a tomato?" You snort. "I'm your fake Alys now, and we're soft launching an intimate relationship. This is basic."
"You're not my fake Alys. You're not my fake anytihng and you're not Alys." he says seriously, frown sharpening into a point before he exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can't it just be my hand over yours?"
 You frown, forgoing the uncomfortable twinge from not my anything and not Alys. "Is this uncomfortable for you? Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"It's not that, never that." He purses his lip. "It's the opposite. I don't want to make you uncomfortable with my touch."
"Aemy," you say softly, smiling slightly. "I am giving you permission. Wouldn't have suggested it otherwise. And you touching me has never made me uncomfortable. Now, come on. Hand on my thigh, pretty boy, so I can take this pic and get the ball rolling."
There's a second more of restraint, of holding back, and before you sigh and suggest something else— maybe he is truly uncomfortable with you, with you not being anything to him, and not being Alys, but is too polite to say anything — he places his palm, warm and heavy, against your exposed thigh.
It's a... new sensation. You've held hands with Aemond before, smacked it a few times even, but it's different when it's on a more... well, when it's not on a non intimate area of your body. New skin, new nerve endings to his familiar warmth and crease.
It makes you swallow how big his hand is compared to your whole ass thigh. Thumb to pinky and he nearly swallows the gaps.
He really has pretty hands. Knotted veins twisting upward to muscled arms.
Both of you nestle in the quiet, just staring at his hand over your thigh.
"Okay," he says, voice even. He's taller than you, always taller even when you're both sat down, and he's closer to the top of your head at this distance, his breath flutters against your hair. "What now?"
"I... take the picture." You blink, shaking your head slightly, as you take his drink and add your hand within the frame so it looks like you mean to take a photo of your drink and not the glaringly obvious hand on your thigh, before you you angle it. You take one, two, three. A few different angles before you feel you've got a few nice ones. "Okay, done."
It feels cold when he takes his hand away, giving your thigh a soft tap before it's back on the counter. He hums.
You get back on the work, choosing one and posting it promptly on your stories. You place Meleys' location and a kiss mark emoji before you post it.
"It does look intimate," Aemond hums, observing the story from his own phone. "But why did you post it on your account and not mine?"
"She's your ex, Aemy," you say, hopping off the chair and moving back behind the counter. The world re-orbits. Everyone back in their positions, the lines clear. The planets move in their normal trajectory again.
"She'll know it's your hand. And if we post it on mine, it has more of an impact, don't you think? We're friends on IG. She sees it on my stories, a man's hand on her thigh, in a background that's no doubt a bar. The hand is sorta familiar. And you posted that slutty mirror pic earlier tonight."
He blushes, you smirk. Planets and moons orbit back, their pace slow, their lightyears fast. Best friend's sister. Sister's best friend.
"If she doesn't recognise your hand at first, your story will prompt it on her brain. It's not a hard connection, you've been together for years. It's a girl thing. An exes thing. Bingo bango, the brain is running. Surely it isn't Aemond's hand? Even if it is... is it truly romantic?"
He exhales. "You're... kind of an evil genius."
"Just kind of? Damn." And you smile because he laughs, the sound spreading warmth across your chest.
Yeah, this is better. It always feels good when you and Aemond are on the same team, when you're not mad at him and vice versa, no matter how stupid the reason.
Saturn rings snap, black holes sink and swim in galaxies so far, far away.
You put your phone on DND as soon as the first five notifs pop up, prompting a barrage of other notifications. When you took a glance at it, it's all a varying degree of 'WHAT THE FUCK', 'WHO THE FUCK', and 'GO GET THAT DICK, GIRL OMG!!'
Only Helaena's message matters, and it brings a smile on your lips.
 'Noice'.
Another ping.
'Also— what a bunch of harlots'.
You show it to Aemond and both of you burst in stupid laughter.
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