#mothering while mentally ill

[hylialeia]

you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.

#I feel like the tragedy of viserys and dany is they really might have been close and loved each other normally of they'd been allowed to #barristan says viserys always seemed aerys's son but when has westeros had any sort of developed understanding of mental illness #dany knew him best and she said the last kindness left him when he sold their mother's crown #it begs the question how much kindness there would have been if they hadn't been children forced out on the streets #a brother dany says never forgave her for their mother's death giving her birth. #but who told her stories and brought her up while his own mental faculties were wearing thin #it doesn't feel like tywin keeping tyrion based on lannister name and blood alone #she loved him once. #that viserys had some inherent lecherous evil in him doesn't feel in line with that to me #it doesn't feel in line with dany please #if ned is the good guardian to tywin's bad one viserys was just a boy who found himself in that role under the worst possible circumstances #and who under duress of those awful circumstances and his own undiagnosed mental illness #(for which he never got any help or support) #failed his sister very very badly #leaving daenerys to feel the hole of his absence even when he was still alive #because she loved him. once #lol anyway! #asoiaf #daenerys targaryen #viserys targaryen

[queencaramilflinda]

Listen I understand why some people disagree bc I love them as characters but personally I don’t particularly want another full season with the Bad Kids. I will watch it if they do one, but I feel like not only have the characters reached the natural conclusions of their arcs, the Intrepid Heroes have all grown so much as players from when Fantasy High came out like 5 years ago that I think it would feel a bit disingenuous. Like Ally had never played D&D before Fantasy High, and Kristen was played accordingly. Ally even said in Starstruck “no more bumbling Kristen shit”

All that being said I wouldn’t mind a short season (up to 10 eps) for junior/senior year or for the IH to do live shows of the characters. I would love a cross over season between Fantasy High and the Seven or even PirOL, I think that could be fun.

#Riz found his babysitter made a bunch of friends became a liscensed PI and resolved stuff with his dad #Fabian learned to be his own personal outside of his fathers shadow disavowed toxic masculinity and embraced his elven heritage #Fig went from not knowing her bio dad and having a bad relationship with her mom and adoptive dad to having good relationships will all of #them and she became a famous rockstar and got a gf #Gorgug found his dad got a girlfriend and faced his fears about not being smart while becoming closer to his adoptive parents #he managed to learn about communication and friendship and himself #Adaine went from having a shitty relationship with her abusive parents and sister to killing her dad driving her mother to insanity to #die in a magic forest and befriended her sister. she got adopted by a better dad and got her mental illness diagnosed and treated #Kristen is the only one who I think has some growth left in terms of no longer being a jokester sex obsessed teen with unresolved parental #trauma. that being said Kristen did get deprogrammed from her church realize she’s a lesbian move out and found her own church and discover #a whole ass god #I love all those characters. I don’t think another season is what they need #cienna talks #fantasy high

[hxhhasmysoul]

wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

#vent #for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode #like constantly #from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived #to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week #and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally #not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic #and now someone died in my family #not someone very close but i liked them #and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing #because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter #so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with #because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter.. #i'd just want a week where nothing happens #and like the writing is weighing heavy on me #because i miss it #also i wish i could finish something #i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off #also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit #i bought new furniture #because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly #which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself #just because i was too burnt out to write #and i wanted something nice to happen to me #like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice #and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns #and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken #because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid #yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job #long pathetic whine and overshare over

[fated-normal-767]

I love Rose . Father’s skill but mother’s love for the game

she was so real for literally all of that. the grind ❗️🔥❗️❗️❗️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

#while Corvus is like father’s MENTAL ILLNESS mother’s DIFFERENT MENTAL ILLNESS #theproject.

[dennisboobs]

i'm. i can't do proper metas until i actually have the time to do them. but i will eventually dig further into charlie and bonnie's relationship and mac and his mom's. its stewing.

#ada speaks #i need more than a couple hour set aside for it and i want to do some research so that i can properly examine what's going on #i'm very familiar with den's brand of parental trauma because i lived it but charlie and mac's arent entirely my wheelhouse #but fuck if i don't know exactly how that shit feels #mac's mom being like. authoritarian and completely uninterested in giving mac love or affection #expecting him to shut up as soon as she quietly raises her finger and then burning him when he doesn't obey #mac's been scared and threatened into being well behaved #charlie on the other hand had no supervision and was left to grow up alone #while also coming to terms with the fact that despite what bonnie says. her love for him is obsessive and smothering and extremely unhealth #charlie is aware of this and takes steps to separate from her but he still feels that responsibility #while mac tries his fucking hardest to get his mom to love him back #charlie wishes his mom loved him less #she's definitely got several mental illnesses and i don't think its her fault but she did NOT raise charlie adequately (or really at all) #but this is why charlie was so angry at his dad for not being there for him. both parents neglected him. #all he got was a pen pal when what he needed was a father to be there for him when his mother wasn't

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#i was so happy today... #i got up so excited because it's sherlock & co day #because i get to listen to it while i work #when i finishe actual work i get to draw some cool fanart i'm planning #it was all so fucking great #and not even 3 hours later i'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and pain in my chest... #remind me to never discuss my mental health with my mother never fucking again #i forgot about her WONDERFUL take of ''everyone is a little bit autistic'' #and her AMAZING ''people shouldn't give name to the way people is'' (aka sexuality and how the brain works (aka being gay or being autistic #it's insane to think i come from this woman #now her FANTASTIC take that autism and adhd are diseases or illnesses #i just want to die #how the fuck could i ever possibly talk to this woman about my feelings or thoughts when this is what i'm up against #and yeah sure you could say ''educate her'' i can't! Everything i say #based on fact or sience or research or anything gets met with ''well that's your opinion. my opinion is the opposite'' #and i never get to drill it into her brain that her OPINION doesn't fucking matter when there are FACTS! #she's the embodiment of the ''that's my oPiNiOn'' vine #and i fucking hate it here!!! #and maybe its true that people who say ''we're all a little bit autistic'' is because they actually ARE autistic. maybe that's true #but i fear she'll never believe it the same way she doesn't fucking believe ME #i hate this #i want to fucking die and never have to speak to another human ever again #fuck working happily while listening to sherlock & co am i right? #angel talks #personal

[mars-ipan]

so fucking annoying having a “common” disorder sometimes i’m sick of being fucking dismissed

#marzivents #<- preemptive bc i’m bitter abt it #i made a joke abt trying to get every accomodation for my anxiety that i can #and my own mother. who HAS THE SAME FUCKING ILLNESS. compared me to fucking eric cartman???? #for making a silly about my mental illness? and saying ‘i have anxiety so u need to be nice to me’ for a LAUGH???? #like 1- i’m not fucking lying when i say i need extra help for my anxiety shit #and 2- do not compare me to a fucking south park character because he faked an anxiety disorder for a couple of episodes #like fuck you. what the fuck is wrong with you #‘half the world has anxiety marley’ 1- not true like statistically 2- while anxiety is relatively common that doesn’t mean i don’t need #extra help because of it???? hello????? what the shit #and EVERY time i try to say something about how it makes me feel she pulls the experience card and patronizes me!!! #i get it i’m 18 i don’t know everything. but i fucking know myself!!! #sometimes i just feel like my family thinks i’m looking for excuses to feel bad. which is so FRUSTRATING #because EVERY DAY of my life i am trying to improve and make my mindset healthier and work hard to be the best happiest me i can be #it’s just that sometimes doing my best is feeding myself and brushing my teeth #it bugs me so much coming from her because i know she has it too #like. i know you had to spend the first 30 years of your life denying your mental health to get out of hell #but i don’t. your whole goal in life was to make sure that your kids didn’t have to do that to succeed #so when i tell you i’m struggling or dare to crack a fucking joke about it once in awhile #why is it that suddenly i’m the bad guy or trying to make myself a victim #can i just need fucking help??? in peace??? does it have to be a whole fucking thing #like sorry do i not deserve it? am i not sick enough? god #and this is all IGNORING the fact that it is highly likely i have something else too #i’ve had depressive episodes since middle school. i have many adhd symptoms #fuck man! maybe ur kid who’s been an expert at masking since fucking elementary school is going through a bit more than they look to be! #almost like it’s a subconscious impulse for them to look better than they feel! #and i’m not even doing that bad right now! #i’m super burnt out but i’m coping really well! i’m getting shit done i’m working hard i’m still taking care of myself!! #i’ve managed to still laugh and love and feel joy despite despite despite #and all i want is some goddamn recognition once in a while. i am so SICK of being overlooked. fuck

[tentacle-therapissed]

The more I get into the mental health field and the more my own mental health has worsened the more it astounds me how many people- who 100% believe themselves to be mental health advocates- would rather have a society in which people who are more likely to harm others as a result of untreated mental illness are tortured and/or killed instead of, yknow, treated. Some of yall are so obsessed with dispelling the stigma that mentally ill people are inherently more dangerous, you wrap back around to straight up ignoring that severe untreated mental illnesses can and sometimes do explain awful and often criminal behaviors. You don’t have to have sympathy or compassion for ANYONE who is mentally ill if they’ve done terrible things but if you’re more interested in supporting systems that punish abusers and perpetrators than systems which support the victims— who in our current society are given very minimal resources in comparison to the resources put into our punital systems— maybe you should re-evaluate what your priorities actually are. When all the evidence shows that rehabilitation, reform, and mental health treatment are most notably and consistently effective at lowering crime and re-offence rates, it genuinely baffles me how anyone could actually be against these systems while continuing to believe they’re truly on the side of bettering society and supporting mental health. I’ve seen so many people say ‘yall support mental health symptoms until they’re not palatable’ and ‘abusers deserve to suffer and die’ in the same breath, like where is the self awareness?? I totally understand such extreme emotional responses on a small, personal scale to those who have wronged you but if you’re allowing your own unhealed wounds to inform your genuine beliefs about society and capital punishment as a whole you seriously should work on that.

#and thats not even getting into the people who claim to be woke and intersectional while advocating for capital punishment #and human rights violations or human experimentation #like ermmmm ok so ur telling me u understand our justice system is flawed and racist/sexist/etc but you support that same justice system #being used to decide who gets to have rights or not? yeah maybe think about that one for a hot second #also #this may or may not be inspired by ppl treating gypsy rose like a girlboss icon instead of an abused child driven to matricide #which could’ve and should’ve been avoided if her mother was treated for her severely damaged mental health #and now gypsy rose’s mental health is surely suffering as a result bc woahhh violence doesnt fix everything or stop the cycle #mental health #mental health awareness #mental illness #mental health advocacy #personality disorder #cluster b #actually psychotic #psychotic disorders #capital punishment #actually mentally ill

[cacaitos]

see for the thing ive observed abt the way the female-to-male predation types of portrayals happen to go, that imo for some reason use like extra stablished power dynamics to like. *justify themselves happening in the first place (like ex mothers that are yk. v straighforward menaces in a kid/teen's inmediacy), is that i will give fujimoto the acknowledgement of partially avoiding doing so by virtue of him not having much respect or shame for himself and his story analogues.

#txt #*like whay im trying to say is that i get the feeling that they use like very heightened imbalances more from the getgo to like pose them #as a threat to start as baseline ygwim? #say to continue w the mother bit. too I feel they allow the male character like if just one iota of decency #a certain jenesaisquoi subconscious safeguard that the agressor can be toppled ultimately. that it has a weakness. #like a very subtle security that they can 'be put in their place' #and to be clear im not saying that writing abt abuse has to be an exercise of cruelty or self flagellation #and self debasement regardless of it being lived or not that's not what I'm getting at. #in this mother case ive said before that they tend to make them also mentally ill but lowkey in that #Woman Illness way like yk they're throwing bpd and shit there w/o a fault. like yeah they're abusive but #how come we still get this like freudian-pseudoscience-misogynyesque portrayal like who #does this even benefit (for another post bc I think I left some things out last time). #like this powerful figure over the most weakest stages of a person that's somehow both irremediably #abusive but also by [debilitating female trait weakness here] is pitiable (ie overcome-able. send her ass #to a psychiatric). #like i hope im conveying what I'm trying to say here. #like not all stories abt abuse have to be so graphic in fact some that do can't even carry that #load you're not good or throughout enough for that you don't have that range srry 💀 #and the fujimoto part like while yes [rant here abt femcharacter sexualization relative to mcharacs here] #yes makima is already denji's boss/adult(the power dynamic justification part). it's not like denji #is getting femchara of brsrkTM treatments re: assault n grooming (decency part) (not complaining) #again not everything has to be an exercise of self humiliation etc. #but if the puke kiss said at least one thing it was compromise to the portrayal 💀 #that and makima just being a internally straightforward offender (not bc it makes things simpler it's that #avoids the hashtag girlabuserTM thing). like nah the way out is through on this one sorry :/ #he didn't have to do that but if fujimoto's own personal shortage of self respect nourishes the art well then 💀💀

[whiskeysorrows]

I crown myself in this tragedy

[Text ID:

It’s a marvel in a decade, having made it here —

my fingers having avoided the unravelling

of telomeres, having traced

through thin plastic bags. In the quiet mornings, when

the day’s rise points out my lack

of a sunny disposition, I wonder if it’ll ever stop;

this coming and going, the soft

insurmountable tides of the world dragging

me out & in again. Lulling—

lulling— lulling—

like the calm rocking of a boat before a storm.

I wonder if I’ll ever make it past my 18th

birthday, if I’ll ever forgive my mother, if

I’ll ever taste cherry wine on a lover’s lips.

It’s just hard to say.

It’s just hard to say.

/End ID]

#best poem I've managed so far meethinks #inspired by me staring out the window & rethinking my entire life bc of a sudden nostalgia & melancholia #& based on my depressed ponderings in my diary while I was re-reading it #certainly didn't expect to live this long lmao #& I stole the 'decade' idea from lady lazarus so... #notice the hozier references if you can #& if you do then the abuse reference is intentional #mortem sibi consciscere #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #original poetry #mentally fucked #actually mentally ill #childhood trauma #tw sui implied #original writing #poetry community #mother. can't you see i'm dying? #mine; words and more

[butchtoro]

i was going 2 take a walk but then i remembered there was a person waving a gun around that got arrested on the corner i always take when walking . so i will sit on the floor instead

#if my mother said nothing about the happenstance id be FINE but now im convinced ill die if i go outside if not to immediately go into #a car #it was a nice few years of walking for mental health while it lasted🫶 #blabs

[myhamartiaishubris]

Y'all need to listen up because James from TEOTFW is not your unhinged psycho killer boyfriend. That's the whole point. He starts off his journey thinking he's incapable of love because he'd lost it as a child and thinking there was something wrong with him because he didn't grieve the same way his dad did. The whole point is that he's just a kid who loves so very tentatively but so very brightly and he's scared of that! TEOTFW takes the trappings of an edgy, lone wolf psycho serial killer premise and uses it to to say that ultimately we are all people and people become different things or learn to think they are certain ways because of how the world shapes them.

Even more so in season 2 with Bonnie because she's not an unhinged scorned woman or avenging lover, she is a love-starved girl who was consistently taught growing up that abuse was love and did not know how to process her grief because she never learned how.

I mean, it's in the last episode:

"What can you do?"

"A little more?"

"Yeah."

People are just people, man.

#except for clive koch that mfer can rot #but even the way they wrote his mother in s1? #it's all about the cycle of abuse and trauma and mental illness #but not like in an edgy way #idk how to explain it but teotfw is very dark while also managing to be a comfort show #you know #like it's a show about sickness but it's also a show about healing

[stinkrascal]

hiiiiiii <3 how are we doing? how are the straud kids doing?

hiiiiiiiii im doin ok, how are you bby? <3 the straud kids are great!! idk when im gonna post the straud legacy again, i really really really want to post the vlad/brie backstory reprisal before i pick up the straud legacy so tbh i havent seen them in so long, i miss my pixel people :-( but in my head im certain theyre living their best lives!! i have so many story ideas that i wanna execute it's so crazy my mind is a jumbled mess of silly vampires lol

#jade answers #itsmariejanel #oh im about to ramble SO HARD in the tags you dont even know #lucien and bonnie are gonna have a baby very soon i decided because bonnie has been pregnant for TWO REAL LIFE YEARS #even though it's only been a few months for them in the story D: so straud grandbabies soon ahhhh im not ready!! #gen is still a misogynist who's terrified to come out to his parents but they'll come around #carlile is still sick with an Unknown Illness... but he'll feel better one day! he just has to feel worse first :'( #nikolai is studying hard at school! making friends! learning about literature and whatever! #klaus is still struggling to make new friends but he'll make them sooner than he thinks!! all the while developing his musical skills <3 #anastasia is an indecisive queen who cannot decide what aesthetic she likes or who she's into. but that's ok! libra queen! #ilya will explore their identity has they get older! and also steal their mother's lighters and attempt to start fires. arsonist icon <3 #maybe the strauds will have more babies idk i have to decide how bored vlad and brie are #brie wants to GO TO SCHOOL! and be EDUCATED! so idk if she'll wanna have more kids at the moment #maybe afterwards though. she can get her degree and then be like heyyyy vladdyyyyyyy ;)))) #idk i have so many plans for the straud legacy i think it's going in a direction i'm really satisfied with!! #especially regarding anastasia/caspian/vaughn/wolfgang ugh it sounds like a love square but i promise it isn't lol #i'm really satisfied with their arcs. especially caspian and wolfgang. i think it's going to go in a good direction #i can't wait for u guys to see it in a thousand years when i finally start posting again <3 #but first i feel like i need to establish things in the vlad/brie backstory reprisal #mainly having to do with vlad/brie's mental health. bc there are characters with the same diagnoses as them #and they help those characters come to terms with their diagnoses #there's also general worldbuilding stuff that i want to better establish in the reprisal that i feel would be beneficial for my legacy too #there's so many stuff and things to do!! and i only have two hands!!!! #but i promise i am constantly working on new story stuff ok? if you read this far i am very impressed lol ily <3

[lonelyheartsmotel]

do u guys think maybe this whole “everyone has an undiagnosed autistic dad” phenomenon on tunglr is partially explained by the fact that most of us—even tho we’re objectively aware of the background of psychology/medicine being based around white western men and the vast underdiagnosis of stuff like autism/adhd in women/girls/nonwhite children—still struggle to picture things like autism in women much less maternal figures for whom the context where their mental illnesses, disabilities, and neuroses, etc manifest are extremely different from our fathers and we end up ascribing our mothers’ quirks and faults to very different things?

#because i do #why are mentally ill women in stories largely narcissistic monsters? #*mothers #while fathers have range and nuance #i get it. parents hurt us. but they’re not an exception to misogynistic standards and vilification #idk maybe i’m totally off #i’m currently assisting on a research project about maternal rage so i’ve been thinking thru this lens a lot

[pinkfey]

so my mom is in the hospital with pancreatitis + dehydration because she can’t keep fluids down + unbalanced acid levels because acid tablets are the only thing that combat the pain in her chest because her meds don’t work like they should and what do u know !! that all leads to organ failure !!

#but how are they supposed to regulate her diet to treat the pancreatic inflammation when she CANT EAT !!!!!!! #her illness is so rare and times like these it dawns on me how much of a lab rat she’s been the past two decades and how much MORE difficult #it is for us to get treatment for her. no surgeries work. she gets a myriad of health problems like diabetes and pancreatitis as long term #symptoms. absolutely ZERO research goes into her illness because it affects no one compared to something like cancer #it’s so fucking frustrating. it’s destroyed her life and ours and the doctors really don’t do shit for her #she wouldn’t have to take acid tablets if they gave her the proper fucking meds !! #because the acid reflux is just part of her illness so there’s no making that go away #the dehydration is because she literally cannot get food or water down because not only does her esophagus not work due to the disorder #but all of the failed dilations and surgeries have fucked it up beyond repair. the only option for that is to remove it #just like. i’m so upset because only some of this was avoidable. #the dehydration and inflammation was bound to happen because that’s just what happens with her illness. she can barley get liquids down #but the acidity?? she’s been telling them for weeks the meds aren’t working and she’s been taking the tablets to compensate. this is on them #RNRNGNNFNDNG having a member of your family with chronic health problems is hard enough as it is but i can’t stress how much worse it is #when the condition is rare. we have hardly any resources and have to travel to get ‘good’ treatment like the dilations that don’t work #and so much is just fucking troubleshooting because so much is unknown #and she’s only getting worse. she’s literally wasting away physically and mentally because she’s getting no sleep and no nutrients. #AND AAAAAAAAAA i don’t get upset about this often because it’s so normal for me for the past fifteen years #but holy shit i deserve to be angry #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #every once in a while i really comprehend it all. how i had my mother robbed from me. from her own life. it makes me just sob #like i never did as a kid because i didn’t grasp it #if anyone read this far no well wishes please #i have a complicated relationship with her #and if anyone is curious what the disorder is it’s called achalasia and believe me i’m an encyclopedia when it comes to it #anyways.txt

[orcelito]

rereading old thoughts & plans about the Mamakechi Lives au i had going a year ago now & being like "wow this is rly good actually, i should continue this" but knowing i have two other WIPs that i posted a first chapter for but have not touched since bc i am focused on my main thing, discacc, so everything else gets overall neglected

... but also. it's genuinely pretty good

lsdjfslkdfj for the hell of it i'll post the intro i wrote to it here . uh . you're welcome?

Akechi Goro lived by five undeniable truths.  One. The world at large was trash.  Selfishness ran rampant amongst the rich and the poor alike. While the rich hoarded their wealth, laughing at all who dared to be born common, the poor fought tooth and nail for any scrap of affluence they could get their pathetic hands on. Like crabs in a bucket - when one rose up, another would tug them down. Two. Success was everything.  In a society that valued productivity above human lives, to be less than perfect was to commit the worst mortal sin. Those who didn't meet society's expectations were fated to live in poverty and suffering. If one wanted to avoid that fate, they could be nothing less than the best. Three. Friends were useless.  Idealistic stories loved to enthuse about the 'power of friendship', but it was all empty. Pointless. Not once had Goro needed something as pathetic as friends. While others cried at being 'lonely', he spent his time being productive. The idea of friendship was simply a distraction - nothing more and nothing less.  Four. No one would help him. In his nearly 18 years of life, Goro had grown to accept that his life was his responsibility and his alone. Teachers tutted behind his back about how unfortunate he was, while peers mocked him for his ratty clothes. No one ever extended a hand to help him… but it was all the same to him. He didn't need their help. Five. His mother was his reason for living, just as he was hers.  Akechi Shiori was the embodiment of everything that society hated. A single mother, a former sex worker, a sufferer of mental illness and a survivor of attempted suicide. The world did its best to hammer her into the ground, but she never truly gave in. She never would, so long as she had her precious Goro… And she always would. He loved her like he loved no one else. Everything he was, everything he strived for, was for her sake alone. He would capture success so he could give her the life she was denied. He would support her so she could wake up one day after another with a smile.  She was everything to him, just like he was to her. 

#speculation nation #i think i have a tag for this thing. uh #mamakechi lives au #actually i cant find anything for it so slkdjfslkdfj that shall be the tag then i guess #anyways. uhm. #suicide ment/ #this au is just like. me thinking about a no powers au. what it would actually be like if goro managed to save her life #becoming an emotional crutch to her. her reason for living. #growing up with the knowledge that he was the only reason his mother was alive. both from saving her life & stopping her from trying again #working his Ass off since he turned 15 in a job to help support them both. while Also being one of the top students in school #trying to get good grades so he can get into college so he can get a good job so she'll never have to work another day in her life #the ultimate mama's boy. he loves his mom very much. and he would do anything for her. #except it is really So very unhealthy for him. a toxic kind of relationship. where he's largely grown up being the parent to his own mom #he's not quite as mentally ill as akechi in canon. but he's still really not doing great lol. he's just got different complexes #and it... compels me #im incapable of writing anything short so lol if i do write this i gotta be prepared for it being. not short. Lol #ah well. maybe someday. #tho if u did read this snippet & are interested in this au PLS let me know. encouragement could very well allow this to actually exist lol