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#mostly ‘what are you feeding her’
proxycrit · 3 months
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(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:
Your honor the horses are now lesbians
(Anyways here’s the designs)
#mlp#based off my mlp redesigns (no i will not be taking criticism)#mlp redesign#fluttershy is now a giant jacked carnivorous shire horse with anxiety#rarity is a trans queen and she’s carrying the plot on her back#applejack’s been bequeethed the oldest child syndrome after the traumatic death of her parents and learned to do taxes at the tender age of#13?? how do horses age#and rainbow dash is both loved and reviled by her pegasi foundry because she has ‘too much gryphon in her’#(but she FAST AS FUC BOI.)#anyways pinky’s my favorite. we don’t know whats up with pinky but she smiles a lot and the world distorts around her at exactly 1014 am.#twilight is celestia’s favored pupil prophet and is trying her best to figure out what the hell is up with pinkie and failing spectacularly#twilight also hatched a dragon from an inert stone and people have opinions about that#mostly ‘what are you feeding her’#(holds rarity and applejack) i think they’re neat together#they bond over growing up too quickly and have a vi-caitlynn thing goin on#(squints) didnt draw the cute mark crusaders but they’d be like. the batmen of the town. and it was fun and games until twilight heard#and gave them ACTUAL weapons#rarity#applejack#rainbow dash#twilight sparkle#fluttershy#pinkie pie#spike the dragon#I FORGOT SPIKE#spike’s a stone dragon that hatched from a stone egg. he is not meant to exist. he’s an elderitch horror and a baby boy and we love#and cherish his adorable little face#art#critdraws#Rest your Weary Hooves in our New Found Home
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That cute bunny girl is called Noisette.Can you please tell me what you cooked besides pizza?
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Pep: "...!"
Pep: "Si! Noisette was her name! Grazie friends! And grazie for Poco Noisette!"
Pep: "…Reh ot yrros yas ot deen I... Niaga reh ees nac I epoh I…"
Pep: "Bocnroc etalocohc ekil! Wonk I sepicer rehto eht fo emos em thguat ehs! Ssendnik reh rof reh knaht ot deen osla I tub."
Pep: "Enoyreve deef ot dah I tahw htiw dluoc I revetahw gnikam yltsom saw ti. Oot gnikab fo stol dna atsap fo stol saw ereht, azzip sediseb dekooc I tahw rof sa."
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Pep: "Niaga yrt ot ecin eb dluow ti os, elihw a ni nevo gnikrow a dah t'nevah I. Noos gnikooc emos uoy wohs nac I ebyam!"
Pep: "Yrros... Naem uoy ohw wonk I kniht t'nod I... 'Sessob niam'...? Noitseuq rehto eht dna..."
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Trans girl Kazuichi x trans boy Gundham
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and then Gundham had to get Kazuichi to pull over (I mean they weren't driving that fast and it was the middle of nowhere but you get the idea).
the car is a Datsun 510.
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wayward-wren · 1 month
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Classic Who explores ideas, New Who explores morals
classic who is like 'i see this trend, lets explore what might happen if that trend continues and let the audience figure out what it's talking about and come to their own conclusions.'
new who is like 'this trend is BAD and i'm going to PREACH A SPEECH about why it's going to RUIN EVERYTHING' and it's so much more exhausting
#wren rambles#doctor who#this brought on by me watching orphan 55#which had SUCH a fun concept#and then absolutely FACEPLANTED with the doctor moralizing at the end#like yes doctor who has ALWAYS explored topical and political issues#but never is there a definitive I Am Telling You This Is Right message#whereas now I just had to sit here and watch 13 preaching at me?#ughghg#explore the idea but don't shove it down my throat#classic who had an episode (Ice Warriors) exploring climate change as one aspect of the story#talking about how all the plants were removed and that messed with the atmosphere etc.#but that was just a SMALL PART of the whole episode and it was never outright condemned (it was made clear it was BAD and the root problems#but that was never the BIG ISSUE the Doctor Lectured His Companions about) (not that victoria or jamie could do anything lol)#plus this feeds into my issues with 13's run (which started during 12's somewhat but less so)#where the Doctor is painted as the Narratively Right one#where when she says something that's what the narrative wants you to BELIEVE#which coming from Two and Three's run is WILD#because Two is chaotic and murderous when he thinks he's right#and he's manipulative and deceptive at times#and Three is selfish and pouty and rude#and don't get me wrong Thirteen has her issues and I lvoe them#HOWEVER. she's pretty much always RIGHT she's the Word Of God when it comes to moral things#and this more than anything is my biggest issues with Modern Who#mostly 12 and 13's eras#so i hope we move out of that somewhat in the new era but i'm not super holding up hopes (especially after star beast)#maybe one day i'll write a proper full article about it but GOSH#i don't watch this show to be preached at. I watch it for a fun/tragic scifi romp and also to see interesting ideas explored#and reflect the climate of the world and how society influences media#explore the idea of climate change turning the world into a post apocalypse! that's such a fun idea and topical!
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daisychainsandbowties · 8 months
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hi is that you holding your cat :(
this is so flattering did you SEE that person’s arms because i will admit. that i did.
but no that was not me or my cat (tragic)
most pictures of me with my cats are either me with my smol boi william (aka bastard) where he doesn’t want to be in the photo
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or me swamped by my enormous 4.5kg spotted blue tabby, Katniss (she’s blind that’s why she’s staring in a random direction)
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non-un-topo · 4 months
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Have to thank my partner for realizing before I did that talking about kids with people makes me extremely dysphoric --- whereas I thought I just had a problem and hated children or something lol
#you can't really start a sentence with 'i don't hate children--' though.#do i... like them..? ehh they're fine on their own. i just don't like to be around them for very long. they freak me out.#but mostly it's parents who freak me out. or people who aren't parents yet but kids are all they talk about#(cough) my sister-in-law.#it's not ALL she talks about but she does happen to bring children up an awful lot around me. and uhh i have bad news for her.#anyway i feel like the worst person on earth but my gut reaction when i hear people talking about kids is to just get pissed off#or roll my eyes or want to leave the conversation STAT. like my flight instinct takes over.#so it was my partner who figured out that these conversations activate my dysphoria like a nuclear bomb.#dysphoria has manifested in the form of irritation for me this year. same with depression. i just feel angry and annoyed all the time#plus a bit of despair. and it gets more intense with every passing month.#my sister has decided to work in childcare and is doing a placement. she also updates me on every single thing she does in a day -#- down to how many times she shits. i wish i was kidding.#so i get a constant feed of what these random children did in a day (yesterday a girl showed my sister her poop lol)#and it would be funny and fine if it didn't make me want to jump out of my gd skin.#happens all the time at school too.#'whaaaaaaaat you don't want BAABIIEEES?? but you'd make such a good mom!!!'#ahaha No i would not thank you. jesus christ please no thank you. please.#i'm a father figure to a few of my friends and it's the best feeling in the world. that's all i need.#conversations like that always trap me. i feel like a fucking rabbit. stuck with all the aunties in the kitchen.#so i have to be a dick and not offer to clear the plates because none of the men are clearing the plates.#just........ Gender. UGH!!
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magistralucis · 1 year
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they’re piper and his dad yes, piper and his dad one is a baby, the other’s a cad
( @absolut--kurant )
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saprophetic · 2 years
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(in the tag of a minor character in a game that hasnt been relevant in like a decade) why isnt there good content here
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arthur-r · 2 years
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progress on my painting from a while ago
#it’s still just very base layers but i hadn’t got a chance to do anything to it since that first day#(i’m borrowing my older sisters canvasses and she’s the one who has all the paints too these days which used to be mine#so she’s keeping my work in progress canvas with all her painting stuff and it only comes out of the whole family is ready to paint#which mostly just means us kids but only happens if my littlest sister is interested and today she was)#anyway im very excited to have a painting to put up on my wall of a bear playing cello#the end pin is gonna be stuck out real long too look at how far it is to where his lower foot is at#cause usually you don’t play the cello when you’re standing and if you do you often have a strap or something similar#but i don’t use a strap (mainly because i only play sitting down but like. if i stood i would use the end pin)#and so neither does he. one real self insert of an imaginary cellist bear he must be#also one thing i’m gonna struggle with is differentiating the cello from the bear in color. like yeah they’re different shades of brown but#i only have so much different colors of paint to mix together#but yknow what. things happen and that’s all they ever do and if it doesn’t look good then i’ll figure something else out#maybe it’ll have to be an orange cello. these kinds of things are unpredictable shdhdf#anyway i hope you think of me like i think of this painting (as a grizzly bear playing a cello or as a thing you like and are proud of)#but yeah hi im at the house of some cats right now. feeding them and such. but there’s this other unafilliated cat who belongs to their#roommate josh. and his cat is named bear so you’d think we’d get along but he’s scratched me in six different spots today#he always wants to eat the other cats food so i have to pick him up and carry him to another room and that makes him very upset with me#anyway the cats take a long time to eat and i can’t leave until they’re done so that i can let out bear when he no longer poses a threat#which means im just kind of chilling in a friends empty house (josh is gone for the moment) with nothing much to do except wait#and i’m sure hoping to walk home before it’s pitch dark out but that would probably mean giving up and letting bear out to steal their food#so good luck to me on that front. anyway im rambling a little i was just trying to post this picture shdhdhdf#so. i hope to work on it again soon in not very long. and i just really like painting things with a paintbrush it makes me feel less bad#when i mess up in whatever ways. because everyone always complains about traditional art so it’s more universal. i like it better though too#anyway i’ll be here for the next while just hoping to head home before 9:30. let me know if you need anything though#me. my post. mine.#delete later
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antennatoheaven · 7 months
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thinking about the teacher i had when i was like 5 that had beef with me for no reason
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seawispdenizen · 8 months
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I am always getting jumpscared by drawings of suggestive shirtless men and then I remember I follow the Hades tag like ah yes my much needed daily dose.
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𝕾𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖌𝖌𝖑𝖊𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓
pairing: Alastor x fem!doe Reader
summary: Mating season has it’s struggles and it affects Y/N the most.
warning: no smut yet(sorryyy), talks of sex and heat, mostly fluff and Alastor being a sweetie
It has a part 2 :)
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Everyone, except one person from the Hotel, was in the parlor, having coffee and just eating breakfast.
Y/N had locked herself in her room, only coming out for a few minutes to gather herself food for the whole day and to let everyone know that she was okay.
“No, but really… What the fuck is up with her?” Asked Angel.
“It’s that time of the year for deers, it’s called mating season, I looked it up.” Charlie said, before, she was worried about her so she found a book about it and learnt about it.
“Oohhh, so our doe is horny? It’s a mood, honestly.” Angel instantly got into his flirty voice and he turned to Husk “Don’t whiskers gets heats? Mmmh… We could satisfy it together!” He leaned more into him, but he only got shoved off.
“Fuck off!”
For the first time that morning, Alastor decided to speak. “It’s more than sexual feelings.” All heads turned to him in question, so he continued. “Female deers are overwhelmed by their maternal instincts, their whole bodies are aching to take care of their own little fawns.”
Vaggie spoke. “So, she is pregnant?”
“AWWW—-“ Charlie’s eyes turned big and teary.
Alastor chuckled in response. “Heavens no! This is where the sexual instincts slip in—“
“Slip in?” Angel raised his brow suggestively, but got a flick to the head, by Husk again.
“Ha.ha.ha. No. Whether she mates or not, her body still feels the need to mother.”
“That’s why she is curled up all day in that big pile of blankets?” Vaggie asked and both Charlie and Alastor nodded in unison.
“She also put on some weight too? Don’t get me wrong, it’s sexy. Her thighs are so plushy and her ass and ti—-“
“Yes, she gains weight in case she needs to feed a fawn and keep it warm during the cold season.”
There was a bit of comfortable silence before… guess who spoke up again.
“Hold on a second.” Angel perked his head up. “Aren’t you supposed to be in heat too? You’re a deer, too.”
All heads turned to Alastor, who didn’t show how uncomfortable he felt. He only chuckled with a wide smile, but before he could have brushed it off, the missing doe entered the parlor.
“Good morning!” All kinds of greetings were heard. She sat down on the couch.
“How are you today?” Husk asked her.
She smiled. “I’m okay, thank you. I am just going out, I have to stock up on my sweets, I’ve ran out. Anyway… I’m just goi—“ She started to make her way to the door, but Alastor appeared in front of her.
“Like hell you are! It’s dangerous out there for you.” He leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear. “You wouldn’t want any bucks catching your scent and doing… heaven knows what.”
“B-but I need my sweets.” She huffed.
Alastor just stroked her ears. “Don’t you worry, doe, I’ll go out and get them for you.”
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask that.” Their faces were inches away, completely oblivious that all eyes were on them and all lips were smirking their way.
“Nonsense! You just go back to your nest, lock the door and I will be there in a bit, with all you could need.” When he finished his sentence, he was already out the door.
She turned around, she needed to get back, every nerve in her body was on the edge.
When both deers were gone, Angel spoke again.
“What the fuck did I just witness?!”
“Her body acknowledged that a buck gave her commands, so she must comply.” Charlie said, with a smug undertone in her voice.
Everyone scaterred after that, only Husk and Angel were at the bar, sipping on their usual strong liquor.
“So… Creepy face is in heat too.”
Husk stopped the cleaning of the glasses to laugh.
“Exactly.”
“So, a fawn running around the hotel is not too far way in time, is it?” His fingers glided around the rim of the glass.
“If it’s up to Alastor, it will be even sooner.”
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evilminji · 7 months
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Ya'll remember Ace? Bat-hound?
No WAY Cujo became a Ghost and He did not.
Is he a little lost? Maybe. This is not his beautiful home. This is not his beautiful, maladjusted, Bat Family. Who are you people!? Where IS he!? This place is FAR to cheerful and green to be Gotham!
But he is Bat-Hound. A PROFESSIONAL. A HERO. He can handle this. He just has to track his humans down... through... whatever this is. If Krypto can fly, bless his mostly empty, hyperactive head, then so could he! It can't be THAT har-*Thwonk!*
.....no one saw that.
But what's this? A helpful young pup? Cujo you say. Ah, he too, was once a gaurd dog. Cujo, lad, he seems to be lost. Could you...? You WILL! Fantastic. But wait? You're worried about your Young Human?
*Bat Concern Rising* *Doggy eye squint*
WHY?
*cujo spills the frankly horrifying beans about Danny's home life*
.........ha ha, NOPE! We can be having THAT! He's coming too! Bruce LOVES young humans! Especially sassy ones. He'll adopt him in no time! You grab the older one's, I'll grab the baby. Then we can head home, yes? You'll love gotham! Plenty of scoundrels to chase!
Cut to the Bat family. Damian is training Titus in the yard. Rare sun-ish day. It's a cook out. The Kent's are over. When?
Titus and the Supers both perk up. You hear that? Somethings about to-
*reality RIPS* *Ace the Bat Hound, dead for over a decade, jumps through... THE SIZE OF A HORSE. He is holding a struggling small preteen girl in his mouth* *Splat*
He dropped her. Eeeeeeew! She is loudly protesting. There is a SECOND dog. Green. Two more teens, clearly related to the first. Dumped on Bruce's lawn.
Ace looks proud of himself. Shrinks to normal size and pads over. Plops down in front of Bruce like he'd never left, tail wagging. Still in costume. He's glowing.
The burgers burn on the grill. No one can bring themselves to notice or care. Damian is elated. Krypto is fly wrestling is bestest buddy. Bruce is having a nervous breakdown over his dead dog.
Clark is calling their co-workers and trying to STOP the nervous break down.
Lois is just feeding the strage kids the dogs brought. Asking some casual "I'm totally not an investigative reporter" type questions. Who wants chips? Have a towel.
Ace? Is a Good Boy. 🐶
@hypewinter @hdgnj @nerdpoe @ailithnight
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sistertotheknowitall · 2 months
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Some Guy on Fear Gas (can apparently turn invisible)
Masterpost
“Danny was supposed to be in class today.”
There was a round of sighs in the coms. See Danny didn’t react in the same manner as the rest of the population when exposed to fear toxin (or in general, but they were mostly used to that). See Danny didn’t scream, he didn’t cry, he didn’t get violent. He got unnervingly paranoid.
He got so unnervingly paranoid about being watched, specifically by the government if the muttered and whispered words were to be believed. His eyes tracked nothing while he slowly moved around invisible people. It wasn't like dealing with someone in an active hallucination experiencing a psychotic break. It was like dealing with someone in a paranoid delusion. He wouldn't let any of the bats near him and often took off, disappearing into the chaos.
Four months into seeing this kid everywhere and their suspicions were confirmed when he literally disappeared after the second time being poisoned.
Danny was a meta and he was afraid.
That’s not the reason for the exasperation felt by this family though. It was what always happened after. The first time he ignored every vigilantly when they tried to bring it up. After the second time he attempted to avoid everyone, extended family included.
(He had asked Kate if she was also Batman’s kid. “More like their aunt.” “Oh okay so it really is a family business. Like that show Unnatural. You don't happen to have also lost your parents at a relatively young age and now go on to fight a dark presence in their honor, do you?.” Kate had stared passively at him, the others had warned her. “….. okay… are you more of a Zuko honor type?”)
However, it was like the universe conspired against Danny. Even Bruce agreed that there had to be some god or being doing this (nothing is ever a coincidence). They kinda felt bad for him. He was very obviously trying to avoid them and he was either really bad at being evasive or a deity was laugh at him. Once he had thrown himself behind a lamp pole smaller than himself and closed his eyes to avoid Stephanie.
(It was very awkward. He could turn invisible and knew they knew so why…..? She had politely continued past so not to embarrass the poor guy further. Cause this was embarrassing and they both knew it.)
Finally it was Duke who pulled them all out of limbo. He had come across Danny on the roof of another bank. A lesser known capital union closer to crime ally this time.
Danny hadn’t been avoiding Duke in the same manner as everyone else. He still stopped to give Duke food but he never spoke and he ran after. Duke thought it would be weird to chase him but it was also weird to turn around, have an orange shoved into his hands then watch his friend run away.
However, this time Danny didn’t run as Duke approached so Duke sat next to him. Pulling out a granola bar, he handed it to Danny, “that’s why you feed me all the time right? Cause you know how many calories we need as metas.”
Danny had laughed, “no actually, that was a bit that morphed into a habit. I just thought it was funny.”
“….what.”
“Don’t get me wrong, now that we’re friends I am more than happy to feed you but yeah. The first candy bar was a thank you and then the second time I thought ‘I have fruit.’”
“….. wow… okay.” There went his plan of empathizing. They sat in silence as Duke tried to reorganize his thoughts.
“I’m sorry for avoiding you all.” Duke turned his head to face Danny, who kept his eyes forward, “you know no one cares that you’re a meta.” “Obviously. It wasn’t the invisibility that I was upset about," Danny said.
“The muttering. The paranoia.” Danny grimaced and didn’t say anything.
“You don’t have to tell us till you’re ready, man. Just let us know if you need help. Please, are you safe?”
Danny nodded and Duke nodded back and they had both continued to sit. When they parted ways Danny handed Duke a small bag of chips.
Danny had apologized everyone one at a time even though they had heard it from Duke. Danny never explained nor did he want to talk about his it. His power of invisibility was also a subject off limits. All of them were worried but they didn’t want to force him to talk about it. They had to trust that he would one day feel comfortable doing so with any or all of them. (Still, it was hard seeing their friend so paranoid that he flinched back from them. )
Post Six
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fuckaperioddrama · 1 month
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Theodore Nott Headcanons
Warnings: Theodore / Asshole? | Mentions of Oral Sex / (female receiving) | Sex (P in V) | Fingering | Me Ranting | Curse Words | Let me know if I missed something?
Fem!Reader
Author’s Notes: Kinda realistic, but you have to be a little delulu with the Slytherin boys. FIRST POST!
Proofread, but there's probably still mistakes.
Mattheo Riddle Headcanons
Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons
Blaise Zabini Headcanons
Tom Riddle Headcanons
Draco Malfoy Headcanons
Masterlist
Minors DNI | 18+
___
Theodore Nott | Physique
6’5 - 6'6 | Sorry, he’s just super tall in my head. I'm a tall girl so let me have this.
Lean, but lanky? He's in the in-between stage.
He doesn’t have a lot of muscle, but you can still see muscle? 
He's a little insecure about his body, especially since Mattheo and Lorenzo are more on the buff side.
Would never go to the gym though, he only works out during Quidditch. 
Resting bitch face, but I feel like this is established. 
HOT AS FUCK! HOT! I MEAN HOT AS FUCK! | Shameless Theo girl. SHAMELESS! |
Theodore Nott | Personality
He’s an asshole, but he’s funny. He’s more on the quiet side, but once in a while, he’ll say something witty that’ll make everyone in the room laugh. 
Don’t get into an argument with him. He has a comeback for everything. It’s actually really fucking annoying. 
So blunt. He won’t share his opinion unless asked or if it’s important to him but don’t ask him unless you want the complete and total truth. 
Plays the piano and guitar. 
He loves books. He reads a lot of romance, but he would never share that with anyone. 
He’s very smart. He studies a little here and there, but mostly he just understands everything naturally. He doesn’t even really have to pay attention that much in class. Something else that’s really fucking annoying. 
I feel like he's not amazing at DADA. He's not bad at it, but he gets in his head sometimes and will mess up.
He’s a homebody, but he’ll go out to parties every once in a while. Mainly to hang out with his boys and keep up appearances. 
He’s prideful. He comes from a good family and he likes to make his presence known. 
A chaser in Quidditch and is ALWAYS showing off. It pisses Draco off so much. 
He smokes, but not a ton. I’d say a pack every 2-3 days. 
Smokes weed though. He’s not reckless with it, but if he’s at a party or relaxing without shit to do? He’s lighting up.
Eats SO MUCH. Especially when he's high. He is always in the mood for food.
Theodore Nott | Casenova
He does have a lot of sex, but it’s usually one woman for a couple of weeks. He doesn’t talk to her outside of their meetups and will (and has) embarrassed a couple of women who even thought it was okay to approach him. 
He’s an ASSHOLE!
The reason why these women keep crawling back? Theodore Nott fucks you like he loves you. He’s so attentive.
A MUNCH! Theodore Nott is a munch, through and through. He's so good at it too.
It's because he speaks Italian. Anyone who speaks the tongue of romance also speaks the tongue of absolutely devouring some pussy. I know that's not true for all, but let me DREAM!
He's also skilled with his fingers. | Piano and guitar player. Duh. |
As previously mentioned, this man is prideful. He will spend hours on a woman pulling out every sound, causing every jolt, and basking in the way they scream his name because it feeds his ego.
He's not doing all of that because he cares, he just likes knowing he's good at what he does. And he is good. 
He’s a dom, and he is ROUGH, but he talks them through it the whole time. SO MUCH PRAISE!
This pussy is mine, toria. All fucking mine. There isn't a single man on this Earth who deserves to feel you like this.
I know, baby. Just cum on my cock one more time. That's all I need. Let me feel you just one more time. 
Fuck, bella, you make me feel so good. 
He'll have them thinking their vag was crafted by Aphrodite herself, meanwhile he's pulling these lines on every woman he fucks.
And when he starts speaking Italian? These women EAT IT UP!
I might be a strong woman, but I'd let this man use me too.
They eat him up too. Not just figuratively. It's become a guessing game for the boys trying to figure out who his hickey came from.
Theo isn't one to kiss and tell. He just smirks and lays his head back, exposing his hickey covered neck as his friends keep asking questions they'll never get the answers to.
And after sex? He’s the perfect, sweet lover. So time after time these women come crawling back despite how he treats them in public and he uses them over and over again. 
Then he gets bored, he moves on to the next woman, and the cycle repeats.
Theodore Nott | Friend
Closest to Mattheo and Blaise 
Talks a lot more around his friends. Jokes left and right. 
Always doing some dumb shit. Pranks with Mattheo? His favorite pastime. 
He likes going out with his boys, being reckless, blowing his money, and just being young. 
He loves his friends because they remind him what it’s like to be free. 
He’d never admit it to any of them, but meeting them was one of the best things that ever happened to him. 
His friends (Aka Draco and Lorenzo) are bullies, but he couldn’t be bothered with that. He’s more of a fuck around a find out type of guy. 
Yes, I believe Lorenzo Berkshire is an asshole. Please don’t come for me. Or do.
He takes care of his friends silently. He won’t ask them how their day is, but he’ll show up with their favorite things whenever he notices them feeling bad. 
Very attentive. He is very in tune with the needs of the group.
Theodore Nott | Boyfriend 
UGH, I LOVE THIS PART
He is used to being an asshole toward women so he’s not sure how to navigate his first relationship 
Gift Giving and Acts of Service
He doesn’t know how to properly express his feelings so he just buys you shit and does stuff for you 
PRINCESS TREATMENT 
I’m talking back rubs, foot rubs, | If you want that. I know some people have a feet thing. | putting on your shoes, zipping up your dress, washing you in the shower or bath, doing your hair, carrying you when your feet hurt. Something broke? He’ll fix it. You need something? Baby, I’ve got it. 
He serves you first in the great hall. He puts your food on your plate first and makes sure you have all of your favorites. He likes to give you food. He likes to eat so he likes it when you eat. 
Buys you flowers. He always keeps a flower from the arrangement so he can tell when yours is about to die. 
Dates 2-3 times a month. 
Always buying you gifts. He will FORCE you to take them. Why should I not spoil you? 
He can be a little misogynistic when it comes to taking care of you.
He's more of a feminist. He doesn't give a shit and thinks women can do whatever they want. However, some gender roles are just ingrained in him.
Do not try to pay for dinner. Don't try to pay for anything while you're out with him. Do you want these people to think I can't take care of my girl?
Will not let you carry anything heavy. In private he might let you get away with it if you argue, but not in public. He's a man and it's his job to act like the man. | I don't mind men like this too much. Like I'm an independent woman, but I'm also a damsel in distress. Please do everything for me.
Anything his baby wants his baby gets. He has a big protector/provider mindset. He will do anything for you because you’re precious and you shouldn’t have to do anything yourself.
Teddy, I’ve got it. 
I know, cara mia, but let me do it. 
His hands are always on you. Physical Touch.
When you first start dating it’s subtle. Hand on your back, hands grazing in the hallways. 
He can be a little possessive. Or a lot. 
He used to fuck the girlfriends of the guys he didn’t like so he doesn’t like when guys come around you. He keeps you close as a way to claim you. 
Toxic
When he gets more comfortable around you it’s a hand on your waist, arm around your shoulder, occasionally smacking your ass.
He’s a thigh guy, but he appreciates everything. Boobs, butt, thighs, neck, arm, whatever. The female body is beautiful and he loves every inch. 
Greets you in the hallways by putting his arms around you from behind. 
Neck. Kisses. Always kissing your neck. Licking your neck. Biting your neck. 
Kisses you like it’s the last time he’ll ever see you. Sometimes it looks like he's swallowing you, your friends think it's kinda gross.
Walks you to each and every class and makes out with you before them 
He just loves to spend time with you. 
Quality Time 
As I mentioned before, he’s a homebody. He loves just staying in with you. After your last class, he always goes to your dorm or you go to his. Study together. Astronomy Tower dates.
He follows you around like a lost puppy. He’s so lover-boy-coded. 
He didn’t pay attention to the girls before you, but he has no problem giving you his full attention whenever and wherever you need it. Call him a simp? He doesn’t care. That’s his girl. 
He can be a little controlling sometimes. He likes to know where you are, and who you’re with. 
He walks you everywhere. You’re meeting up with your friends after he spent two hours railing you against a wall? He’s walking you the whole way, he can't miss a second of you.
And afterward, he always gives you a kiss and a hug goodbye. I’ll miss you, amore. Like you two won’t see each other in a couple of hours. Then he'll keep pulling you closer to him every time you try to break free because he needs just one more kiss. 
He’ll always make you late. Sometimes it's because he is smothering you in kisses. Other times, he spends a good ten minutes holding you and telling you how much he loves you. Words of Affirmation.
Once Theodore Nott is fully and completely comfortable in his love with you he will NOT shut up. He can be so cheesy too, he comes up with the most eye-roll-inducing stuff.
I know I won't make it to heaven, but at least I was given a taste before I go. 
I think someone might have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes.
Then there's the unhinged cheesy ones.
Why should I waste time studying herbs with the power to heal wounds when the only healing power I need is right in between your legs?
Are you the witch who lost her broom? I couldn't find it, but I have something else long and hard that you can ride. I've heard it can last all. night. long.
ON AND ON. HE WON'T STOP.
Then of course you have his more serious declarations of love. Usually when you're sleeping because whenever he tries to say this stuff when you're awake he feels like his heart is about to backflip into his ass. 
When I look at your face, I feel as if the sun finally rises. My world fades from dark to light and in that moment; and only in that moment, I find happiness. I am not a good man, I don't know what I did in life to deserve you but I promise to spend every second making sure I'm worthy of keeping you.
| Alright, that was a little cute. Maybe a little too cheesy, let’s move on. |
Theodore Not | Committed Lover 
Tongue shoved in between your legs 24/7. On his knees in the closet, with you above him sitting on a desk, laying down between your legs, you sitting on his face. Anytime, anywhere he is tasting you like it’s the last thing he ever could do. 
He is so good with his fingers. | Once again guys, he plays piano and guitar. | Fast fingers working you open every chance he gets. 
Seriously every chance he gets. 
He loves fingering you in the middle of class, by the lake, in the hallways, and anywhere in public. | With your consent of course.
I SAID IT ONCE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN! ROUGH!
He loves doggy. Having you bent over while he smacks your ass raw and dicks you down like a fucking animal.
I mean leg up, holding you back by the ties around your wrist while he thrust his huge ass cock | At least 8 inches and THICK | into your SOAKED and achy cunt because you know he took his TIME getting you ready. 
Literal hours sucking on your clit while he fucked you with his nicely long and thick fingers
Now he’s pounding into you at an unthinkable speed while you’re screaming, tears running down your face, and mind going blank as he fucks you dumb.
He lets you ride him sometimes. He loves seeing you on top, but he still never fully gives you control. He keeps his hands firm on your waist or ass and you can never get away with teasing him for long before he holds you in place and fucks into you like a man possessed.
He likes the soft stuff too. 
Hands holding onto your hips as he grinds his cock into your pussy. 
Head stuffed into your neck as he continuously moans. I could stay here forever. You’re all I need. 
___
A/N: Overall, Theo is a toxic asshole but it’s okay because he magically becomes the perfect gentleman (not really) when we start dating him.
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peachesofteal · 5 months
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Can we please please please get some more Simon x single mother au? Possibly him helping in the garden/ keeping emmaline out of trouble while Mom works in the garden
Light on - single mom/neighbor fic Simon Riley/female reader 18+ mdni / mild sexual content
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“Ow! fuck!”
Your hand jerks, drawing back to your mouth with a hiss. 
“What is it?” He forces himself still, staring daggers at where the tip of your finger has started to leak blood, a thick drop dripping down the side before you bring it to your mouth, lush lips wrapping around your injury. “Are you alright?” His tone is tightly controlled, even keeled, nonchalant, but on the inside, worry gnaws away at his stomach, chewing through the organ until it’s spilling free and running rampant through his body. 
“There’s a piece of glass in here.” In the garden bed? “Some of the other tenants, hang around up here at night. They usually leave bottles or cans behind.” The worry turns to anger, a simple plan slowly taking shape in his mind, a strategy to find the rooftop partiers, and ensure they never leave glass in your garden again. 
Emmaline cries, nose and brows wrinkled in irritation, and you turn to coo at her, finger still half in your mouth. 
“It’s okay, little pea. Just give me a second.” She continues to fuss, and you sigh, wilting like one of your own little flowers, left too long in the sun without water. You blink, and it’s like you’ve shed your sunlit skin for an exhausted shell. Oh, sweetheart. I know it’s hard, but you don’t have to do it on your own anymore. 
I’m here now. 
“Can I?” He asks softly, warming at how your face lights with relief. 
“Yes, please.” You point to the bottle that’s tucked in the side of the backpack, and he unbuckles her from the bouncer that you lugged up the four flights of stairs earlier, even though he had texted you an hour before and politely suggested you wait for him to be finished his phone call, so he could help you. 
You went up anyway, much to his displeasure. Displeasure, that he had to swallow, permanently. 
You’re not his. Not yet. He can’t be disappointed by resistance or refusal when you don’t even know all the ways he can be there for you yet. He knows you’ll learn. You’re a smart girl. His smart girl. 
Emmaline lays nestled in the crook of his elbow, slightly elevated on her back, and he pops the cap of the bottle easily, rubbing his index finger against her cheek to trigger the reflex that will open her mouth. When it does, he keeps it at the right angle to ensure the formula doesn’t flow too fast into her belly. 
“You’ve done this before.” You murmur, reaching into the backpack for a band aid. You’re studying him, tracing over his face, his hands that are nearly the size of your baby, and he can feel the scrutiny, the curious intensity of your gaze. 
“Had a nephew. I was around a lot, when he was this age.” He had a brother too. And a mother. A sister-in-law. A family. 
Emmaline gurgles around the nipple, and he slips it free, sitting her mostly upright, giving her a gentle pat on the back amid her protestations, little grunts that he’s sure she means as ‘feed me’ and ‘more’. He waits for you to ask him the dreaded questions, the focus on the word had, the inevitable conversation about loss and family and pain, guilt and grief that can make a man feel like he’s been buried alive. 
You don’t.
Instead, you simply say, 
“Emmaline had a dad once, too.” 
It’s nearly 2100 when you knock on his door later, baby monitor in one hand, two amber colored bottles in another. 
“Hey. You busy?” His heart does a double tap inside his chest. Bad timing, the worst. Your sweet mouth is slightly open, hopeful, teeth parted just barely to reveal a flash of tongue, and his jaw clenches against the wild need that catapults through his veins to his cock. What do you taste like? What do you feel like? You motion to the monitor. “Just went down. Figure I have about an hour before I pass out myself and could use some adult time.” Shit. The duffel bag next to the door practically speaks for him, irritatingly reminding him he has a plane to catch in less than two hours. 
“I can’t, I’m about to head out.” Your brow furrows, confusion churning into understanding within a moment, disappointment flickering across your expression before it smooths out. 
“Right. Okay.” 
“I want to.” He hurries the words. “But I travel… for work and I have to be on a flight in a few hours.” You’re already half turning away, slinking off to your apartment, giving him a soft agreement as you go. 
“Sure, yeah.” 
“Wait, sweetheart,” You startle at the pet name, eyes going wide at the inferred affection. “when I get back, let’s… have a drink.” You nod, and he smiles a real smile, barely tugging his lips upward, probably hardly visible to you. The kind of smile he’s been wearing around you these past two weeks, the kind of smile he tries to give Emmaline when she stares at him. 
“Alright, sounds good then.” Your key finds your lock, and he steps out into the hallway, trapping your gaze with his own. 
“You girls be good.” He says, a parting instruction, and a bashful, bewildered smile of your own curves across your mouth. 
“We will.”
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