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fuck-customers · 5 months

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I wish there was a way I could convince my boss to get on board with the idea of a suggestion box, so that all of us employees could anonymously write suggestions for how to improve the store + things we'd like that might make us more productive, feel more appreciated, etc. But there's no way for me to bring it up without making it seem like the reason for the box is because she's such a fuckup as a manager. (Because that is the real reason lmao) She's also the type who would read a legitimate constructive criticism and scoff and wave it off as us asking for something extremely unreasonable or make up some bullshit about how xyz can't be done to improve the store because there's not enough hours, or crew, or money in the budget, whatever. I can actually picture her doing that.

The past few days I've been obsessed with this idea (mostly because I had a nightmare shift that would've easily been avoided had she done her job and managed correctly and assigned people to do the setup work beforehand) but I can't think of a way to get her on board. I've considered just making a box myself and putting it in the breakroom with some pens and paper scraps, but I predict it wouldn't even be a full day before she tosses it out.

So, just to get some off my chest, I'm going to put some of the suggestions I WOULD'VE written here.

•Either bring back the stocking crew that came in at 5:00 a.m. before the store opened or schedule extra people on delivery days to stay in the stockroom and unbox all products and sort them by department/aisle BEFORE putting product out on the sales floor.

(This one is a direct reference to the stocking shift I recently had that was a nightmare because none of the stock had been pre-sorted by department, which was done in the past by the stocking crew, so we had to open boxes and sort them on the sales floor while simultaneously stocking items, while the store was open and we were constantly interrupted by customers. This made stocking take at least double, if not triple the time it would've taken. That delivery was a week ago, and the boxes are STILL sitting on the sales floor, half-stocked)

•While stocking, have each employee price tag each individual item, as our stock does not arrive pre-tagged, so that customers are not confused about the prices, since upper management removed the store scanners.

•Assign the ASM or a lead to exclusively do the schedule so that the schedule is regularly posted the 3 weeks out, as required, not 3 days out.

•Assign a lead or promote a non-management employee to be a trainer to correctly train the new hires.

(As of right now, new hires are hired and then basically thrown on the floor and told to figure it out and fend for themselves, obviously leading to many mistakes that need to be unfucked by the rest of the crew, they'll ask other employees for help, but most of those employees were "trained" in the same method, so they'll show the new hires the wrong way, the blind leading the blind, essentially)

•Schedule more than 1 person per department, this way there is adequate coverage in the event of a rush, plus in downtime, one employee can assist customers while the other does go-backs/recovery and makes the department look neat and presentable.

(The store looks like a tornado hit it currently) (I also know this one is probably a union-busting thing, but honestly? Remember KM@rts and how messy they always looked? My store makes KM@rt look like a model store)

•Do some morale boosters. Every employee in the store looks like they're in prison. (We kinda are) We literally got an online review (that SHE HERSELF PRINTED OUT) that stated that we all looked miserable and looked like we needed a moral boost. We desperately do. The real solution would be better pay and hours, but we know you, the SM don't have that much control over that. You could do small things, though. The previous ASM would regularly bring in snacks for the breakroom for us, would regularly have potlucks on holidays that brought us all together, she would also make sure to regularly tell each of us that we were appreciated and would recognize our hard work. Even if it was bs, it still raised morale.

ANYWAY, thank you for letting me rant. ✨️🙌

P.S. I know obviously none of you know my boss, since I'm anonymous and didn't specify where I work (for obvious reasons) but do any of you think the suggestions box thing has even a slim chance of working? In my head, I wasn't going to tell her it was my idea or ask permission, I was just going to set up the box in the breakroom and throw in a few of my own suggestions and see if any of my coworkers add their own. Because I felt if I asked permission or told my boss my idea, she'd take offense that I was indirectly calling her a fuckup (she is) and undermining her authority or some bullshit like that. Or do you guys think if I just do it without telling anyone, she might be curious and at least look at a few suggestions? Or should I ask her to set one up? I really don't think that would go well, personally.

Posted by admin Rodney.

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riacte · 1 year

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Blue30 semi-serious analysis post (or something) yay~

I know what everyone’s thinking: “Omg the fusion of Blue9 and Aqua29”. Yeah, it does vibe like that. This team is undoubtedly strong, but the teams for MCC30 as a whole are ridiculously strong, so like MCC29, it’s difficult to predict and depends on game order + morale / performances of players on that day.

As we learned from Aqua29, overall team synergy/ performance can be more important than individual performances. That’s how Aqua29 pushed themselves up to 2nd despite no one in top 10.

MCC30 Blue Bats actually has pretty damn good chemistry?? I think everyone knows each other. And we’ve got three MCC winning duos: False + Fruit (9), Dave + False (29), Fruit + Shubble (26), so if they win again, their win count will be lowkey ridiculous lol. Dave and False can possibly get a DOUBLE back-to-back, which is amazing.

One major reason for my confidence in Aqua29 was the presence of HBomb. The H factor worked for both Blue9 and Aqua29, but in this case, Shelby is fantastic at team games. She’s a great communicator and boosts morale, plus she’s teamed with Fruit and Dave before. The only person she hasn’t teamed with is False, but they’ve got Empires so they’re friends. Once I saw Shubble in this team, I was like “ohhhhh Scott made an excellent choice here” :))) Shelby can definitely make up for the weaknesses of the two PvPers.

The question of leadership pops up again, and personally I’m leaning towards Dave, although I think the four of them can vibe and communicate at the same time (seeing as they know each other more than Aqua29/Blue9 knew each other at the time). One thing I’m excited to see is Dave-False again so soon, because False made amazing call-outs last time (I don’t think she’s ever spoken that much in a MCC). I think Dave misheard False’s comms in BB and apologised, so he might pay more attention to her comms this time lol. Also wdym Fruit and False’s last MCC was ALL STARS??? Anyways False also girlbossed her way through All Stars’ Grid Runners while the men were being himbos, so maybe they’ll listen to her this time fhejfjjdcjjd.

And because I’m biased, here’s a whole paragraph dedicated to False. Blue30 is False’s FIRST team without a hermit (!!! She’s graduated!!), but she’s with an Empires buddy and she knows everyone on the team (much like Ren’s first non-hermit team Yellow21, which also had Fruit plus Joel and Fwhip from Empires). I said pre and post 29 that False can be a good leader if she feels comfortable in a team, and she definitely felt comfortable with Aqua29 (possibly because it’s 3/4 of Yellow28, another MCC she spoke quite a lot in). Now, Blue30 can absolutely be such a team, especially after her recent win in 29 which can boost confidence. I don’t know much about False-Shubble being competitive together, but I watched the Minecraft Legends stream yesterday and everyone was vibing and communicating well (although everyone in that stream was from Traffichermitempires). Basically I think this could be another team in which False speaks up and offers valuable input (because sometimes people just forgor the border in SkB and take a lot of damage 💀)

I compared Aqua29 to a better Yellow20. I can see Blue30 following a Yellow21ish trajectory unfortunately because Yellow21 got third and I’m still sad. Blue30 will likely be good at SG (like Yellow21) and PvP in general. Hopefully they won’t do what Yellow21 did at BB lmao <3

This team is strong, well rounded, and has good chemistry. It’s just that other teams are also strong 💀 but if Aqua29 can get a legendary win, why not continue that legacy? ;)

#mcc #ria.txt #not maintagging bc im a coward #not maintagging cc tags i mean #blue30 #yellow20 yellow21 are both babygirl teams that hurt me. i do not rewatch those povs 🥲#long post

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fluorescentbrains · 2 years

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Honestly I think it's just one of those things that isn't as deep as people make it. It hurts when something you've spent a long time on gets ignored, and It's easy to feel upset when you see people reblogging text posts that took 5 seconds to write and not your art which took 5 hours. But it isn't really a moral or social issue that people make it out to be, nobody is "killing fandom" or being entitled because they don't reblog every piece of art they see on the dash.

word. i would also add that i’m not going to, for example, reblog people’s fanfiction the same way i reblog 2 sentence shitposts… because i want to actually read the entire fanfic before i plug it lmao. there might be something in the fic i really disagree with and don’t want to boost!! and not just petty stuff like i didnt like the sex position or something but last year spn fandom had a whole Situation with someone posting a fanfic that turned out to be pretty offensive but people were passing it around without paying close attention

#anonymous

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lovestuckyhatemarvel · 7 months

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Fair warning: I’m watching this in bits and pieces because TWO HOURS AND TWENTY TWO MINUTES AND 24 SECONDS FOR A SEASON FINALE IS BONKERS STUPID.

Putting a read more because this episode is long and therefore this post is super long.

1.) Yuri just removed something from the helicopter, which is extremely rude and potentially stupid.

2.) I’ve decided I hate Yuri.

3.) the audio balancing of this show is garbage.

4.) Hey, did we need this Joyce and Hopper changing simultaneously scene???? Like at all??? It’s not very good filmmaking and this season finale is OVER TWO HOURS LONG.

5.) Also I know they think it’s funny to have Joyce be in a Hulk Hogan shirt during the scene, but I think it just is off.

6.) This flirting session would be better if this finale WAS NOT OVER TWO HOURS LONG. And the reason it’s happening is because Netflix is avoiding syndication.

7.) Robin knelt to boost Nancy lmao.

8.) I still stand by the ‘Make him pay’ moment mirroring Han and Luke’s interaction. Anyway, I want Steve and Eddie to smooch.

9.) Yeah I’m skipping the intro. Chop chop. We’ve got 2 hours left.

10.) Would have been fun for Kali and her group to show up for the finale.

11.) Mind Fight.

12.) Argyle was cryptic.

13.) Did we actually need a scene of Max, Lucas, and Erica searching for Vecna? We know what they’re doing and what their plan is. We don’t actually need to have our hands held this fucking much. Fourteen year olds don’t either. I promise high schoolers can follow context clues sometimes.

14.) Oh come the fuck on. A guy just HAPPENS to be walking his dog past the abandoned goddamn Creel house so that their location is compromised????????

15.) Oh, Hopper knows El is fighting a monster in Hawkins with Joyce’s kids.

16.) Oh my god, the particles are just in Russia just for this bullshit so they can fight it.

17.) are all surfer boy employees stoners????

18.) Metal concert ahoy. I’m taking a break.

19.) okay session number two. Eddie’s putting sweetheart on. Also I’m realizing that people who have someone bring Sweetheart back from the upside down are wicked overthinking things. He’s playing the upside down version.

20.) Steve crawled. backward as a baby and I can’t focus on that because Im’ realizing the LIGHTING AND THE AUDIO BALANCING ON THIS SHOW ARE GARBAGE.

21.) Steve suffered head trauma as a baby that could have killed him. Isn’t that funny?

22.) I love Nancy and Steve being friends but acting like Nancy and Steve did each other favors at the end of their relationship is stupid.

23.) Ugh, the confession. I DON’T WANT THEM TOGETHER. STEVE DOESN’T WANT THEM TOGETHER. HE SAID HE WASN’T INLOVE WITH HER LAST SEASON UNER TRUTH SERUM. I have a conspiracy theory that the Duffers saw people shipping Steve/Eddie and went, “Fuck, gotta try to force Stancy.” But also I don’t remember nor do I care to check when part 1 and part 2 of this simultaneously short and abysmally long season aired.

24.) why did Erica need to signal the group outside? Was it just to give a rando a chance to spot Erica?

25.) IDK how Hopper, Joyce, and Murray didn’t anticipate that maybe the demogorgon they helped get out might have killed a fuckload of people.

26.) “I was told the Peanut Butter Smuggler was once a great man.” HEY DUFFERS, DID FUCKING NONE OF YOU REALIZE THIS LINE IS GODDAMN STUPID? Like and I know it’s not supposed to be a joke! The framing is serious! The performance is serious! The music is damn near inspirational! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. And all this happened because you guys just had to advertise fucking JIF of all goddamn things. JIF Peanut Butter, something I don’t even think would be popular in the 80s in Russia in the fucking first place!!!!!!!!

27.) The very blue lighting of this scene fro Max and Lucas is bad.

28.) Can we talk about the Duffers’ love of having a straight couple promise each other a future Friday date only for the season finale to fuck with it? I Haven’t seen this episode, but I know it happens. That’s two seasons in a goddamn row, you dipshits.

29.) Vecna has been hiding out in the attic all goddamn season long. Why is he suddenly downstairs for the finale? Oh right, it’s to make the plan easier to screw with.

30.) My roommate asked me why I wasn’t watching this on 1.5 speed during my last viewing and I’m wondering the same.

31.) Mike in the sunglasses is being pretty cute.

32.) Of course Mike gets interrupted. Because Duffers haven’t met a cliche they didn’t wanna fuck.

33.) LMAO WHAT? Wait, that lego up the nose story was just to be like ‘YOU USED TO COME TO ME FOR HELP?’ How is Jonathan suddenly so shit at talking to Will???

34.) oh my god stop mentioning the lego up the nose. I cannot stand that this ‘you can come out to me’ speech has legos up the nose.

35.) Time to go into Max’s brain.

36.) Oh now they’re going into the attic.

37.) Of course Max’s plan isn’t working. The Duffers hate it when a plan comes together.

38.) I hate this blue lighting. It’s digital and it sucks.

39.) I still think a much more interesting storyline would be these kids forgiving themselves for human emotions, even ugly ones. Especially because this puritanical ‘thought crimes are real and bad’ schtick is stupid.

40.) lmao what is the point of going back to Will, Mike, and Jonathan just to show them react to what El is saying????

41.) These pizzeria shots could have been cut.

42.) Initiating Phase 3.

43.) Eddie’s fantastic performance.

44.) The song choice is great but I also still fucking hate that Jason got told how to find Erica, Max, and Lucas at all. Like, this is just fucking annoying.

45.) All these images are happening way too rapidly to be anything other than chaotic noise. Like, nothing has room to breathe.

46.) You two idiots, stop screaming about most metal ever. You’re hiding from things that are attracted by sound.

47.) oh no. Everything escaped. Whoever would have guessed that everything escaped in the Russian prison?

48.) Of course the guy died before he could answer who the shadow went into.

49.) Steve’s very good at hopping around shitty CGI vines.

50.) It’s super jarring going from a memory where there’s ALL THE LIGHTING to scenes where it’s all digitally dark and blue BACK TO BRIGHT MEMORIES.

51.) Balloons popping into blood? Someone’s seen IT.

52.) WE DID NOT NEED THIS MUCH BUILD UP TO EL AND MAX GETTING TO THE SAME DREAM. THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY TOO FUCKING LONG. TRIM SHIT. Have it be easier for El to get to Max in her mind BECAUSE THEY’RE ACTUALLY FRIENDS, YOU DUMB PIECES OF SHIT.

53.) I hate Jason Carver so fucking much. Like I hated BIlly and wasn’t sad when he died, but I didn’t actively want him to die, tbh. Just didn’t wanna save him. Jason, I wanna push through a wood chipper.

54.) Hopper is bait.

55.) “This time, it’s gonna be different.” God, I wish, but no, this show is still shit. Actually, wait, no, this show did get somehow SHOCKINGLY worse.

56.) Back to back. Eddie and Dustin. Bros bros bros.

57.) oh suddenly Eddie knows to be quiet.

58.) Vent. All the vents in this show are so huge. And also the bats got smaller because they needed to fit in. The bats from previous scenes didn’t look like they’d fit.

59.) EARTHQUAKE. Because we have time for this shit. JUST GET THIS TRIO TO VECNA. OH MY GOD. Oh wait, Robin’s against a a wall. Steve’s against a wall. RObin’s on the floor and now on a wall. Nothing is going right.

60.) Joyce seems actively stressed out by Hopper heading down a flickering corridor. I’m actively stressed out by how badly paced this all is.

61.) here here doggy doggy doggy. Brennan Lee Mulligan voice: I’m gonna kill that dog.

62.) Blocked one vent. Took the bats exactly 2 seconds to find another vent????? Somewhere?????? Impossible to see in this shitty digital lighting.

63.) Did not know that Eddie starts to climb before he realizes the door is about to burst. Ah, I can see him having a big damn hero realization before he cuts it. RACING AWAY ON A BIKE. Goodbye new lovable character that was doomed by the narrative because Duffers hate new people.

64.) hey why has El not actually gotten to Max yet? It’s been so fucking long.

65.) Vecna is boring.

66.) Oh, Max is pinned to the wall like Vecna was.

67.) God, Jason Carver is so fucking pathetic.

68.) “Normal’s just.a raging psychopath.” No, that’s not true either, Lucas. The duffers just are still really mad no one wanted to date them in high school. And no one wanted to date them in high school because they’re stupid sexist creeps with no real grasp on narrative structure.

69.) “But in the end” - Vecna. Me “IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER, HUH?” I mean, that’s not the words he said, but he might as well have.

70.) oh hi El, nice of you to finally fucking join.

71.) goddamn it just let El be powerful enough to beat Vecna. Have this goddamn show end in season 4.

72.) more biking. Dustin’s about to fall from a ceiling. Yeah, that was a bone crunch sound effect.

73.) Eddie stopped running and I don’t know why. He could have just kept drawing them away.

74.) Hopper’s running from a demodog.

75.) Erica’s running to the house as Jason Carver tries to kill Lucas. HE HIT LUCAS WITH A GODDAMN VASE.

76.) I think I ship Mike/Will and El/Max/Lucas.

77.) Vecna is so raspy. Drink some tea, bud.

78.) IF YOU TOUCH HER AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU AGAIN. Okay that loses its bite at the end.

79.) And immediately El is losing. LMAO DID WE NEED TO CUT TO MIKE GOING, ‘SHE’S FIGHTING HIM’??? LIKE YEAH, BITCH, WE KNOW. WE CAN FUCKING SEE IT.

80.) Should have rally given Eddie and Dustin some fire.

81.) why is Vecna so overpowered??? EL HAS KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE TOO. THIS WHOLE POWER JUSTIFICATION THING IS SO STU PID.

82.) can Max get knocked out inside her own head?????

83.) El got sent into Vecna’s mind and dragged up. I literally hate this scene so much and have no respect for it.

84.) Max is being carried into Vecna’s mind. Glad we’re all here. Also yeah, somehow Max’s mind is knocked out?????????????

85.) It’d be fucking hilarious if ‘Papa is dead’ had stopped Vecna.

86.) And by hilarious, I mean it would make more sense than all this shit. “He is the monster, Henry, not you.” Babe that ship sailed after he murdered a ton of children.

87.) I STILL HAVE AN HOUR LEFT. Vecna is blaming EL for doing this??????????????????????? FUCK HENRY. THAT’S SO GODDAMN STUPID.

88.) there’s literally no reason for Henry to have survived getting struck by lightning a bunch in the upside down.

89.) ‘unspooled by mankind’. Both you and Thanos can take your bullshit and jump off a cliff. Neither of you understand shit about fuck.

90.) LMAO WHAT? HENRY MADE THE MIND FLAYER LOOK LIKE THAT BECAUSE HE’S INTO SPIDERS? GO FUCK Y OURSELVES. GO FUCK YOURSELVES. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

91.) If Vecna is so powerful, it’s stupid that he would need El’s powers and kill 4 teens to get out.

92.) Montage of everyone getting their shit handed to them over Vecna’s annoying speech.

93.) Jason is fucking strangling Lucas. What the fuck?

94.) how is there still 52 minutes left and why did the vine that wrapped around El’s neck look particularly stupid? God, I’m taking a break.

95.) Okay it went back to showing me the vine going around El’s neck again so I need to note how bad it looks. Again.

96.) “Don’t be afraid.” THAT’S NEVER WORKED.

97.) Why HAND SO BIG? Like HOW DID BEING IN THE UPSIDE DOWN MAKE HIS HAND SO BIG? Oh also his head is smooth like an egg.

98.) I’m fine with being shown the pizza crew pulling El out of the bath. That makes sense to show.

99.) ????? Hey Will??? Since fucking when is Mike the goddamn heart?????

100.) Listen, as sweet as this Mike speech is, I kind of wish El had believed in herself without her boyfriend giving her a pep talk about believing in her.

101.) Lucas starts getting the upper hand in this fucking blue lit room just as El gets free.

102. Goofy fucking limb breaks.

103.) Henry flying back is hilarious.

104.) Joyce using the fucking stun thing was neat.

105.) Seriously, how did the Russians have so many goddamn creatures???????

106.) Things are turning around. Sort of. Thanks for burning the fucking monsters.

107.) why the fuck is there a sword in this Russian prison?????????????????????? LIKE WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?

108.) Can y’all stop making a meal out of killing Vecna and just fucking do it already?

109.) LMAO (epic synth arrangement of Running Up That Hill) Thanks subtitles for telling me that. For the record, it’s not as good as the original or most covers.

110.) Vecna burning again.

111.) So, Max is awake in Lucas’ arms and the teen trio is attacking Vecna. This should feel epic to watch them fight Vecna while Hopper sword fights a demogorgon but it’s….so boring. So stupid. And honestly super fucking unearned. I’m also, even with breaks, fucking exhausted of this show. Fucking end already.

112.) Hopper and Joyce are hugging as a helicopter arrives from Yuri, who I guess had a change of heart offscreen. The place all the interesting things happen.

113.) Eddie is dying because he was too good for this story. Actually, why the fuck is he dying???? This doesn’t actually make any fucking sense. Like I’m so baffled that I can’t actually be sad. Anyway, I feel less bad for not mentioning basically any of this shit in my fanfic.

114.) The duffers can bring him back. Especially since straight up, his dying makes no goddamn sense. He was injured, yeah. He was having a very bad time. BUT NOTHING HE WENT THROUGH LOOKED FUCKING FATAL BITCH GOT KILLED BY THE PLOT, NOT ANYTHING IN IT.

115.) Lucas tells Erica to get an ambulance.

116.) Hey why the fuck is Max doing so badly???? None of this makes any goddamn sense.

117.) This blue light is impeding my ability to care and that says a lot since I cry over butter commercials.

118.) The clock chiming to let the teens know Max died was interesting at least.

119.) JASON CARVER FULLY GOT CUT IN HALF. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE HIM BE ALIVE????

120.) I am glad Jason Carver got cut in half.

121.) Can we talk about how there’s definitely been 4 gates open at one time before and it didn’t do shit? Why do these 4 suddenly matter?

122.) Damn, everyone’s commutes are gonna suck in the morning. Town got an x through it.

123.) Everyone waiting for El to wait up so she can be like, “Max beefed it because she read the script.”

124.) El touches Max and ??????????? Max reads the script again and okay finally I’m getting emotional and it’s over flashbacks to seasons that sucked less, Yeah, I ship El/Max/Lucas. Fight me.

125.) lmao fucking what? TWO DAYS LATER. God this show is so badly made.

126.) Droves of people leaving Hawkins as a pizza van arrives.

127.) 7.4 earthquake. Hold on, gotta google something. 7.4 is major but not the highest level. I don’t know why I think it’s so fucking funny that it doesn’t beat the highest on record. The highest is 9.5 in 1960 Chile, btw.

128.) ‘A natural disaster of near-unprecedented scale’. It’s literally not in the top 10 of actual history you dumb fucks. ALSO THERE ARE ONLY 22 DEAD. NO OFFENSE BUT THIS IS NOT UNPRECEDENTED. IT’S PRECEDENTED. THERE’S A SCALE. 22 IS SAD, BUT IT’S NOT, PARDON THE PUN, GROUNDBREAKING.

129.) Also the satanic cult shit is still so stupid. Satanic panic was fake. Even Criminal Minds knows that.

130.) WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO DESERVE SO MUCH SUFFERING? HOLY SHIT, WHAT REPORTER TALKS LIKE THAT?

131.) Reunion.

132.) ???? Why would El need to ask why Lucas is at the hospital?????? She literally knows what happened to Max????? WHO EDITED THIS EPISODE?????

133.) Max is in a hospital bed.

134.) “Her heart stopped for over a minute.” She probably could be fine.

135.) Why is El not admitting she did this?

136.) How is there 20 minutes left???? Why do we need to see Steve, Robin, and Dustin taking donations to the high school???? Do we need to watch them do volunteer work?

137.) Vickie is cute but because they’ve like, not at all interacted, I don’t actually care if her and Robin get together. Also they are kind of two samesies.

138.) Steve is such a proud best friend though.

139.) Dustin talking to Wayne and having to tell that sad old man that Eddie was killed by the Duffers for no good reason.

140.) Duffers, people did love him. This speech is just annoying because it was unnecessary.

141.) Jesus Christ, this episode is STILL GOING?????????????????

142.) The cabin needs more than the cleaning supplies that Nancy has. Also, Steve Harrington’s parents still like, don’t exist, so why doesn’t El just hide out with him?

143.) Hey, Jonathan, don’t be a dick to Steve.

144.) Will really does have spidey senses.

145.) HOOOOOOW ISSSSSS VECNA ALIVEEEEEEEEE?

146.) Black car approaches while El has emotions over a coke bottle that she played games with Max with. Stop using Coca Cola as emotional beats.

147.) Hopper and El reunion. What the fuck is Hopper wearing???????

148.) Matching father daughter hairdos.

149.) Joyce and El are so cute.

150.) Mike and Hopper were kind of cute.

151.) The amount I’ve seen the back of Will’s neck is weird.

152.) Sky darkening. Shit drifting from teh sky. Uh oh. Upside down is here.

153.) We get everyone’s reaction shots to it. THIS EPISODE IS TOO FUCKING LONG.

154.) I’m gonna buy the Duffers an intro to storytelling book or something. This is garbage.

155.) THe ash kills plants, I guess.

156.) If the Duffers have it so that this is actually a big loop and the upside down is actually Hawkins in the future, I’m gonna hunt them for sport.

Do I actually need to spell out I hated this season? It’s bad. The writing is bad, the characterization is weird, the plot is convoluted, the pacing is worse, the lighting is fucking atrocious, the CGI is hideous, and I DO NOT CARE ABOUT VECNA. VECNA IS SO BOOOOOOOOOOORING. Like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THIS EVIL CHILD OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS SHIT. MAYBE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING TO ME WHEN I WAS 8 BUT THERE’S NOTHING EVIL ABOUT SPIDERS. They’re important part of the ecosystem, but they also are a lesson, if you actually pay attention, IN EVERYTHING HAVING ITS PLACE. HENRY CREEL IS A SHIT EDGELORD WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND SPIDERS OR FUCKING ANYTHING ELSE.

That was a goddamn waste of time. Definitely not watching season 5.

#stranger things #stranger things rewatch #s4e9 #season 4 episode 9 #stranger things s4e9

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unforth · 3 years

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So, English-Speaking Danmei Fandom... (Part 2!)

...you saw my post yesterday and you’re like, “okay, I made a JJWXC account and now I know how much the thing I want to support costs, how do I do the actual money thing?”

Here, I’m figuring it out right now, let’s do it together. I AM STILL RELYING ON THE GUIDE BY SHOKO TRANSLATES. YOU SHOULD USE IT TOO. I have only the most basic idea wtf I’m talking about, and I only have that much because of this guide. That said, it seems to focus more on mobile, and I’m using desktop, so if you’re also on desktop my thing here might help you?

One, go to the payments page. Fortunately, they’ve made it pretty easy to find...

...by making it the one on that list that’s in RED. Handy, right? No, I don’t know what it actually says. Again, I don’t speak a lick of Chinese. I have some Japanese so sometimes I recognize characters but that doesn’t get me far, ha.

Once you click that (you have to be logged in, of course!) it’ll open up a new screen, with a list of payment options on the right. As far as I can tell, this is what the choices are:

I’m gonna take a stab at international credit card, since that’s...the only one of these I have??? I tried to figure out what the “shenzhouxing” prepaid card is but basically got no where.The Shoko Translates guide does NOT have instructions on this part, at least not for desktop? And the pages look pretty differently on desktop. Anyway. Here goes nothing...I’m mostly relying on C&P and Google translate. *sweatdrop*

So, there are two tabs, but I can’t C&P them and I have no idea what they say. However, the one on the right doesn’t have any boxes for entering stuff?? So I’m gonna stick with the left...OH. It’s a page for doing security questions. Oh god, um.

Alright. So. Put your password in the top box. For the security questions, what they say is basically irrelevant, except it’s worth noting that the default option is apparently not a question - it’s just “select one.” If, like me, you don’t know Chinese...just pick whichever questions, and put in answers you’ll remember. It doesn’t give a damn if your answers are correlated (though, the first one on the list has something to do with dad, and the second on the list has something to do with mom, I recognize those characters, ha. It doesn’t let you pick the same questions twice...and there are two near the bottom that I THINK might be “father’s birthday” and “mother’s birthday.” And one about elementary school. Sorry, I’m distractable. The point is, the questions don’t matter as long as they accept your answers! Yes, it accepts English ones, and no it doesn’t have anyway of knowing if your answers correlate to the questions at all. TAKE A SCREENCAP OF YOUR CHOSEN QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS AND SAVE IT BECAUSE YOU’LL NEED THEM AGAIN!!! Do your pattern match thingy, then click the green button, and there’s another page which looks like it’s asking me to re-enter the same answers.

Click the green button on that second page, and there’s a new page with a single line of Chinese text:

“恭喜你，密保设置成功，点击此处跳转到用户基本信息页面”

which, according to google translate, is

“Congratulations, the secret security setting is successful, click here to jump to the user basic information page.”

Guess I’ll click the thing.

ALRIGHT. So, after doing all that, it takes me back to a home page? Awesome. Whatever. As long as it worked. Click on that red one in the navigation bar again, and NOW when you go to the “international credit card payment” one...

AHA THIS IS VERY PROMISING, lol. So, based on Shoko Translate’s guide, that place drop down menu with “17″ written says “USD” after it, and that it’ll get me 10,000 points. It looks like it processes payments through Paypal; based on my experience with Paypal, that means you may not need an actual Paypal account? But I’m honestly not sure, and I’ve had a Paypal account for 20 years, so I’m just gonna, ya know, use that.

A little window pops up that I’m assuming (blind guessing) is a “this will take you to another page/open a new window, is that a thing you want?” and I clicked the option on the right, and yep, it opened my Paypal. I’ve got a card on file, so...I’m just doing that. (I’d...better make sure I actually have $17 in my account... *another sweat drop*...okay yes I have like $80, wooo...oh, crap, I accidentally paid from my business account, sigh...well, there was def money in there but I’d better pay myself back...ANYWAY.)

Do the payment thing!

It redirects back to JJWXC!

It says something in big bold letters and I have absolutely no idea what! But then it loads, and it’s all the Chinese that I now recognize as my personal account page, and when I scroll to the bottom and...

...well I have no idea what any of that says but it sure as hell LOOKS like victory. Now to see if I can actually, ya know, buy a thing! I can’t afford to get everything I’d like to at once - I’m pretty broke - so I’m going to start with Tian Guan Ci Fu. It’s my favorite danmei novel, and one of my favorite books of all time, AND it’s by MXTX so even though I can’t buy MDZS on here, I can still support her. I linked to it yesterday in my previous post (which, again, is here).

Author: 墨香铜臭

Title: 天官赐福

Direct Link:

https://href.li/?http://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=3200611

Now...

1. scroll down to the chapter list and click on the first one that says [VIP] next to it. Click the chapter title.

2. the circled button is “select all”

3. a pop up checks if you actually meant to do that. click the one on the left to confirm.

4. scroll to the bottom, and...

5. ignore those two check boxes, you might think they’re a ToS confirmation or a “are you sure” but they’re actually about subscribing to the book (which is pointless, since it’s finished) at least according to google.

6. ...uh...shit...now I have to figure out which of these buttons actually does the thing...um...oh thank God, it’s in the Shoko Translates Guide. So, there are five buttons right below the line saying how many points I have. The first is “confirm purchase” so, ya know, just ignore the other ones and click it.

7. A dialog box popped up! It says how many I spent and how many I have left and a bunch of Chinese and two mystery buttons...thank God, again, for Shoko translates, apparently they’re “read now” on the left and “read later” on the right. I’m gonna “read now” just to see if it worked...

8. Well...it sure looks like a book??? I have the PDF translations (a copy from before it was removed, and no, I won’t share it), and, um...okay, so the first unlocked chapter is 21...oh hey, I see San Lang (三郎)! That’s, like, the only thing on this whole page I can read! lmao. Anyway, comparing, like, pagination, and the placement of the exactly one thing I can read, YES, this definitely worked!

SO.

This has been your second installment of “disaster dumb white person who speaks no Chinese liveblogs their way through figuring out how the HELL to buy danmei on JJWXC.” If this has been helpful to you, please REBLOG, SIGNAL BOOST, and more importantly, SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE DANMEI AUTHORS!!!!!!

(I own TGCF. I’m so happy omfg. 😭 😭 😭 😭 )

(and as a reminder: I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. If you have a question that requires that someone know what they’re doing, DON’T ASK ME. Instead, try the Shoko Translates guide I linked at the beginning!!! Here, I’ll even link it again. USE IT. DO THE THING.)

#unforth rambles #tgcf #mdzs #svsss #2ha #erha #guardian #hell if remember what else i tagged yesterday #here guys i did the thing #now it's your turn #and now i've gotta go do my actual job

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dakt37 · 3 years

Text

Avengers Assemble - Feral Outlaw Stony

So I've been expanding on this concept I doodled before Christmas, where Steve goes with Tony into the no-tech dimension at the end of season 3. Probably a lot of stuff isn't canon-compliant (beyond the obvious change that is), but "It's an AU so I do what I want" rules apply. Anyway.

The tl;dr is: The two of them spend a little time puttering around the weird no-tech dimension, and then get absorbed into Battleworld. They become explorers, helping people out and falling in love along the way.

(Once again, I feel like someone must have had this idea already, but I’ve never looked.)

Cut for excessive rambling.

~~~

Not all the areas we see in the show are present in Battleworld when Steve and Tony first arrive, so the boys spend most of their time traveling around, mapping the place out as it expands. A lot of my ideas rely on them still having little-to-no access to modern conveniences. Obviously someplace modern has to show up for them to get their hands on a pickup truck and a motorcycle, but I’m picturing a post-apocalyptic junkyard that’s been picked clean of anything obviously useful. They get the vehicles working by sheer force of “I’m Tony-fucking-Stark.” But like that fully functional NYC area is way too convenient, so it’s not around yet. (tbh I’m not even sure if it’s an alternate NYC or theirs, in which case it wouldn’t show up until the other Avengers do anyway)

They get the low-down on the "Battleworld" concept by eavesdropping on one of Beyonder's* welcome speeches. They realize that they are uniquely off the grid, because Beyonder didn't know they were in the no-tech dimension when he added it to Battleworld. They decide it's advantageous to maintain this secret status, but they're still Avengers™️ so they can't NOT help out wherever they can. But they don’t stick around any one place for long. Basically, they become vagrant vigilantes in addition to surveyors. They get a lot of their “stuff” (clothes, tools, toiletries, etc) as payment for odd jobs, or gifts from grateful locals they rescue. They get some food from populated areas as well, but also rely on foraging and hunting while on the lam. They have definitely eaten dinosaur at some point.

(*He doesn't get the nickname "Beyonder" until the other Avengers show up. In this AU Steve and Tony refer to him as "The Entity" or "Suspenders." You can probably guess who tends to use which.)

On top of the survival story, it's also a getting-together story. Steve and Tony flirt and pine and bicker and flirt some more, until a squabble turns into a confession and they finally start kissing. There’s plenty of time for “it’s cold in this wasteland and we only have one blanket, oh no,” but they’re firmly established as romantically involved by the time the other Avengers show up and they have the final showdown with Beyonder.

Anyway a lot of the AU notes I've been making are about the functional side of their Big Camping Adventure. So here's a bunch of lists about vehicles, gadgets, and navigation.

Vehicle stuff:

If Tony is riding passenger on the motorcycle, he can clip his repulsor boots into special footrests that reroute the energy and give the bike a speed boost.

The bike has a tow cable. Steve can harpoon things using a spring-action firing mechanism, including cliff faces to help him scale steep terrain. The cable can also be uncoiled manually, like when Tony takes flight while holding the end so he and Steve can clothesline hostiles.

Steve can stick his shield several places on the bike depending on what’s convenient. On the front as a windscreen/battering ram, on one side for easy grabbing, and even on Tony’s backpack so Tony can snuggle in properly while riding passenger and keep both their backs protected.

They probably don’t even need a ramp to get the bike into the bed of the pickup. Steve just picks it up and puts it there.

The evolution of Marsha (the truck) into a full Hulkbuster-style mech takes a long time. For the majority of their time in Battleworld, it’s just a truck with an ever-increasing number of weird add-ons.

Marsha can function as a tiny camper home. The cargo bed liner is a false bottom, which can be pulled up and rearranged to form a cover/roof. Underneath the liner, the actual truck bed is about a foot deeper, with most of that storage space taken up by a mattress and bedding.

Tony can pull a cable out of Marsha’s steering column and plug it directly into his arc reactor. This unlocks extra features and weapons. He generally has things balanced so that Marsha drawing power doesn't affect him any more than his armor drawing power would. But on rare and desperate occasions, he can overclock and hurt himself. Steve of course hates when he does this.

Turnabout is fair play though: at least once, something else damaged the arc reactor, so Tony plugged into Marsha to draw power from the battery for his electromagnet while he repaired the arc.

Gasoline can be difficult to procure, so both vehicles are hybrids. Tony just keeps adding new power conversion elements as they go along, based on what they can find.

F in chat for Tony’s armor:

Tony dismantles the armor he’d been wearing when they first went into the no-tech dimension.

Obviously he keeps skeletal versions of the repulsor boots and gloves in-tact enough to function.

He also keeps most of the helmet, for when he’s riding with Steve on the motorcycle. Mostly because Steve insisted. It's gutted of tech though, so if the faceplate stays as part of the design, the eyes are just holes (like in the classic comics).

The rest of the pieces are kept in a large packing trunk.

Tony repurposes some parts into useful gadgets for himself and Cap, plus the odd toy for other Avengers (like Widow’s new stinger gauntlets) because he’s optimistic like that.

Electronics use precious metals like gold and copper, so Tony scrapes some out to pay for things in certain areas of Battleworld, like the cowboy town or the pirate area. He might also barter with other general bits like wires and screws, but he avoids parting with any actual full tech.

Plug-n-play Gadgets

Since the power draw for Tony's electromagnet is actually fairly minimal, Tony makes use of the arc reactor as a charging station, mostly when he sleeps. It's not like there's a corner store they can drop by to get a pack of batteries. Things he charges include (but are not limited to):

Flashlight for Steve. The bulbs for it came from the eyes in the Iron Man helmet. Note: Tony doesn't need a flashlight himself because he can turn up his arc brightness apparently, lmao.

Camp stove. Steve questioned Tony building one for a hot second because hello we can build campfires to cook over? But then it’s raining and they're in a cave and Tony is like, "if you fill this space with smoke I will divorce you before we're even married." And Steve is like "camp stove wow yes okay." Also they had camp stoves in WW2 so honestly it was simply a Himbo Moment to disregard the virtues of one in the first place.

Walkie talkies. I know they had Avengers comms but I like the aesthetic of walkie talkies more. Maybe the comms relied on satellites that they obviously don't have anymore or something.

Navigation:

Speaking of a lack of satellites, the GPS in Tony’s armor is rendered useless. Steve is real smug about it and pulls out his old-fashioned compass. But Battleworld also doesn’t have proper poles, so it just spins wildly for a few seconds and then points at Tony’s electromagnet. Not to be deterred, Steve declares, “Well, you’re never lost if you can find Polaris.” They look up and realize that the night sky, despite having stars and a moon, is not at all arranged the way it is on Earth.

Tony takes this as a Challenge. He builds a sextant, then spends the next several nights in a row muttering math under his breath as he painstakingly creates a hand-drawn star chart. This, combined with landmarks, becomes the primary way they orient themselves as they roam around Battleworld.

Many nights, Steve and Tony lie in the bed of the pickup together and make up constellations named after other Avengers and friends. Steve makes a copy of Tony’s star chart and sketches artistic renditions of the constellations on top. To close this post with an interesting visual, here’s an example of what Tony’s star map might look like vs what Steve’s would more resemble:

#avengers assemble #avengers assemble AU #battleworld AU #Feral Outlaw Stony AU #stevetony #dakity yaks #Dakt rambles about Avengers stuff #long post

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aceofshitposts · 3 years

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I saw that you like CATS the musical. What are your thoughts on the movie?

AAAAH AHHAHA oh man oh boy y'all should BUCKLE IN cuz it's a ride

my simple thoughts? it's entertaining if only because it butchered the stage show so badly in an attempt to idk modernize it? Well, modernization is one part of it I think. The other part I'll go into below lol. I don't necessarily hate some of the more modern renditions of the songs (mostly the ensemble sets like Jellicle Song for Jellicle Cats) but then others are just... so poorly done it's insulting.

I've said this at the end of this whole rant too but I'm gonna put it up here in case people don't (justifiably) wanna see me go on and on about it:

The movie wasn't made for fans of the musical. It was made to make money and I believe they choose, at least partially, to do that through making it the weirdest and worst possible adaptation they could so that people would want to go see the train wreck. Which, really, worked! It was all people could talk about for a good while so like... Goal achieved, I guess.

A MUCH MORE COMPREHENSIVE ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT cuz i don't wanna. flood your dash with... this

ALRIGHT SO. Most of my friends know I'm actually a huge fan of new adaptations of things. I love remakes (provided the people making it are coming at it with some form of heart and not just... cash grabbing which is more often the case) I love seeing other peoples interpretations of characters, or changing settings. It's one of the reasons I like American comics so much, getting to see different writers takes is fascinating.

I think musical movies can be wonderful ways to introduce people to a stage show that might have been unavailable to them otherwise! Chicago, for example, is one of the BEST musical to movie adaptations in my opinion. It kept the heart of the show, it's funny and the song numbers are done really well.

There are of course other famous examples, such as Grease or Bye Bye Birdie. Hairspray was also a wonderful take. These are simply off the top of my head, there are of course more.

CATS in particular has a history. If you go through my CATS tag you may see a few posts from @catsnonreplica which posts photos from non broadway productions of CATS! It's a fascinating read and I love, love, love looking at the other interpretations of the characters! CATS is a musical full of fun and wonderful characters if you take the time to see past the ridiculousness haha and the Korean and Japanese runs of CATS especially have some of my favourites.

How does this relate to the movie, I hear you say well. As you might has noticed the movie's interpretations of the characters is........ lackluster at best and downright uncanny valley at best.

CATS is, at its core, a ridiculous thing. I will fully admit that! But it's fun, it's entertaining and if you pay a little attention you can actually get the plot. (Honestly I don't understand when people complain it has no plot but that's a whole other rant for another day)

The movie was... obsessed with this idea of like... semi realism? Like obviously, as a fan, I think they should have leaned into the over the top character designs but instead we got...w ell:

Bombalurina:

Demeter left and Bomba right. Demeter was actually cut! From the movie which is. upsetting lmao.

Macavity is one of the worst offenders for me:

Macavity was... I wish I could know what the hell they were thinking there cuz it's even in his song? Ginger cat??? THAT IS NOT... A GINGER CAT...... but I digress. I would show more examples but I think you get the point.

So. We've butchered the characters appearances. Okay that's fine but what about their personalities?

ALSO BUTCHERED.

There's... there's a lot to unpack here. Just for context: the Jellicle Ball happens once a year and the Jellicle leader chooses a single cat to be reborn into a new life. In the stage play all the cats who are nominated for this honour are on the older side (Jenny-Any-Dots, Bustopher Jones, Skimbleshanks, Gus The Theatre Cat, and eventually Grizzabella) AND are always nominated by another cat. Not themself, unlike the movie where they all seem to nominate themselves.

Jenny-Any-Dots went from a doting grandmother figure who's celebrated for her selfless volunteering and tireless work into a conceited, vain younger cat who is obsessed with fame.

It's an incredibly strange dichotomy. I don't doubt some of it isn't the result of the uh people playing the characters honestly. I do think some of them did the best they could! I don't really blame Jason Derulo, for example, for Tugger. And honestly, Tugger was probably closest to his stage version (while being a trouble maker, he's shown to show Deuteronomy an immense amount of respect)

Speaking of Tugger! This will bring us to one of the biggest grievances with the movie and that is how they handled Mr Mistoffelees.

So... Ugh. So. We have Victoria as the pov character, which imo is like whatever in the grand scheme of things, and then we have Misto who they have decided will be get live interest cuz... Of course. Misto is shown throughout the musical to be awkward, unsure of himself and well. Really, kinda incompetent. Which is Wild cuz in the stage show he might be aloof but he's fairly confident in his powers.

So, Old Deuts gets kidnapped. In the stage show Tugger is the one to bring Misto forward! It's really quite sweet, imo, and I'm showing myself as a Tuggoffelees shipper here, but again Tugger is previously shown to be pretty conceited but then here he is boosting and hyping up Misto to bring Deuteronomy back. My friends and I have lovingly dubbed this the boyfriend hype song.

SOMEHOW. The movie manages to make this, easily, the MOST BORING number in the whole thing. Which, again, WILD. Misto awkwardly stumbles through his whole song, which again is... Boasting of his supreme magical powers which movie Misto clearly. Does not have or believe to have. The song, to me, feels super awkward and unnecessarily drawn out in the movie which sucks cuz it's one of my favourites in the show.

The declawing (heh) of Mr Mistoffelees actually reminds me strongly of how they changed Gaston in the live action Beauty and the Beast movie. He's gone from a beloved figure in the animated movie to someone so disliked in the town that Le Fou has to pay people off to say nice things about him. It's just. Wild character choices were made!!

Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat is probably my favourite in movie non ensemble number. It feels the most... Genuine? Compared to the other nomination songs.

Other problems include but are not limited to:

The inconsistent size scale of the CATS which throws me off constantly.

The weirdly overt sexual overtones added to MANY of the songs (Jenny and Bustopher being the worst)

This is just a personal gripe and opinion but I don't like that they used the UK version of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. The American version is both better known and tbh way more fun. Teazer's giggle? Adds ten years to my life every time.

Victoria's added solo song, Beautiful Ghosts, while I like the song as a song it doesn't fit the style of message of the musical. In the movie she's singing directly to Grizzabella who's being an outcast for years that she should be grateful she even has memories of being part of the tribe?? What?? But I know they had to add an original song to be able to be nominated for awards in like the Grammys n shit (which is why all musical movies will have an original song, fun fact!!) kinda funny they went to the effort though considering........... I don't think anyone could have genuinely believed CATS 2019 was gonna win anything but golden rhaspberries.

Movie Mr Mistoffelees has made repeated appearances as my sleep paralysis demon

The various cut characters, shout outs to Jemima, Demeter and Jellylorum especially

Bombalurina being a henchman to Macavity rubs me the wrong way

God I've written... So much. You probably get it by now haha. Like I said at the beginning, I try to go into any adaptation with an open mind but... Let's be honest, this movie wasn't marketed to people who are fans of the musical.

It was marketed, and made, to make money. And they choose to do that through, I think, intentionally making the worst possible version ever. Bad press is still press and the more outrageous people said the movie was the more people wanted to go see exactly what kind of train wreck it was.

Which is a disservice to the stage show, honestly, and all the people who've worked on it over the years.

But what can we do, right?

And besides all that, I do... Still own the movie version and I do still rewatch it on occasion. It is entertaining even if it's in a train wreck kind of way. I usually end up watching the 1998 version, then 2019 and then various tour runs that are on YouTube. (I highly recommend the 2016 tour, it's very good)

So in conclusion. It's fun (?) to watch. I enjoy picking things apart and doing analysis (if you couldn't tell!) so like... I don't hate it?

It did what it set out to do, I guess, and I can't fault it for that but. It's not a fair metre with which to judge the stage show imo. But I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, haha.

Jazz hands. I'm more than happy to elaborate or just chat about CATS if anyone wants! I grew up listening to the Broadway CD since I was a toddler so it's been! A very long standing obsession haha. Probably the only other thing on par with CATS is my obsession with Jurassic Park which I've also been a fan of since I was 3 (but that's a whole story in and of itself)

#astrix thoughts #cats the musical #Thanks for the opportunity to talk about one of my hyperfixations anon!#And to anyone who reads this whole mess lmao

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jrueships · 3 years

Note

What wips do you have rn 👀 elaborate pspspspsp

Too many wips.. thats what I have rn.. too many...

WJBFJEBF so the ones I'm most focusing on rn is the spiderman! Donovan/royce au!! So far I wrote the whole exposition and I'm working on the 'enticing incident' LMFAO it's upgraded from my last summary so I have more to write because I'm insane but yeah! It's the one I want done the most but I'm also gonna go on a trip with my buds to this place without wifi for like? Four days so 😭 I might have to finish it there and wait forever until I can post it! And I'm still unsure about the ending!!! THE STRUGGLE

a shorter fic I have in mind still is the russell waiting for kd at a table for two but he never shows up fic! I just really like writing russell widjsbf but not much action happens there! Many just dialogue and a lot of pg fashion/life roasting from Russell's inner dialogue. He's very judgemental of people who give off douchebag frat bro vibes but can't help but feel intrigued by them JABFJWB oh and he makes fun of pg simping for gold diggers

The fics I have written partly but put back in the burner are my donovan/jaylen fic, marcus/giannis, pg/kawhi jealousy fic, pg/kawhi sm*t fic, pg/kawhi space au, and john/trae patroclus and Achilles au! Mainly because they're super long and I get nervous about writing them too much and wasting all my muse on one thing, so I get scared and back off 😭 but I'll tell u the basic summary of them!!

💙 donovan/jaylen fic is based off the idea of donovan going grocery shopping and getting all mad at the thought of the clippers LMFAO. Basically he's at a grocery store getting flowers for his sports medicine doctor for always putting up with his bullshit (never wanting to sit down and relax so he can actually heal. Playing through the pain). But as he shops, he keeps finding the simplest shit that reminds him of the clippers. Like he sees a claw machine and thinks about Kawhi and how collected that guy is, just chillin in the upper stands, while his team is facing a possible defeat. Donny gets all frustrated because like?? He can't just do that? Just sit back and chill while his team is playing without him? Donny HAS to help, has to GET OUT THERE!! kawhi Doesn't... but kawhi is the one who won a championship. And donovan starts doubting his leadership skills and if he's really good for his team.. if he let them down by being Too pushy and Too in their faces.

+ and then when he's getting a cute card to go with the flowers, he spots one that says "you're the man!!" And he thinks about terance Mann and his great game against them, how proud pg, basically his mentor, was of him. And it makes donovan think about his loss and how he couldn't get that same pride out of Dwyane Wade.

Overall, everything makes him feel useless af and he almost kicks a shelf out of anger. But he calms himself down and goes back to the flowers because he actually only got this little dinky green plant still struggling to bloom? He got it for himself because he felt bad for it LMAO but he still needs to get flowers for his sports medicine doctor. He's goes back to the flower section and who does he see? JAYLEN BROWN all gussied up in his depression fit LMFAO.. but they both are. Jaylen and him try to joke but they're both tired and awkward so it sucks IABDKSBD they basically just ask what the other is doing there. Jaylen is just traveling rn because he got nothin else to do IWBDKS but he bought Deuce a souvenir gift! And he asks Donovan if he can help him put it in his trunk (but really he doesn't need donovan's help. He can pick the toy up himself. He just knows that Donovan is too stubborn to accept help when he needs it but he'll always try helping others out! So he wants donny to think he's helping jaylen but in reality jaylen is trying to help HIm because at the car he invites Donovan to go meet up at a hotel with him where they kiss and have sad *** to make themselves feel better WKBFKSBX) that's basically it!!!! I have literally everything written but the *** scene they're literally my weakness.. I love the emotions they make but I hate.. describing the actions it takes to make them?? Idk I just feel cheesy writing it? It's very tedious and boring to actually crank my brain for a synonym to 'moan' because I'm tired of using that word but it's the only word that really applies to that situation without sounding weird, yknow?? Just very tedious

💙💙💙 OK so marcus/giannis idk bro like... it's just taking so long IWBKENF idk what to say except giannis makes a ton of small jokes at marcus

💙💙 OK so pg/kawhi jealousy fic... BASICALLY the plot is LeBron hosts some big rich guy party for the NBA because I need a reason to write all these people that live far apart interacting together OKAY??? But anyways it takes place after 2020 lakers winning the championship! Pg convince the clippers to come or else they'll look bad for being the only team not coming and they media will have a field day with them, so the clippers join the party. Basically everyone who later team up in 2021 are talking to eachother LMFAO like James hardon+kyrie+kd are talking while russell westbrook and beal are bonding over dance moves with a jealous John wall pouting in the corner. Obligatory Marcus and giannis interactions because I can. Kyle and demar are laughing together. It's all goood until LeBron waltzes over with his weird ass feet and starts talking to kawhi. Hes being all Handsome and Strong and lowkey flexing his win. Its starting to make pg suspicious so he keeps intruding upon the conversation. His inner dialogue is basically a ton of lebron hate KABFKWB. LeBron sometimes comments back to pg but ends up kinda tuning him outta the conversation and sly dissing him to kawhi like "how does it feel talking to someone who doesn't hit the side of the backboard lol"

Pg is starting to get nervous because he's trying to compete against LEBRON over who's the better teammate for kawhi.. and with his current playoff history.. he's not gonna win. He keeps trying to get kawhi out of the conversation, but lebron keeps drawing him back in and pg ends up giving up or he risks looking like an overbearing girlfriend.. So he slinks off in hopes of distracting himself. Originally, pg thought KAWHI would be the one standing all alone awkwardly in the room with no one to talk to, but it's slowly becoming HIM who's the lonely one LMFAO. He tries joining in bradley and Russ's conversation because HEY!! Everybody leaves russ! Russ must be SUUUPER lonely and DESPERATE for someone to talk to him‼ especially when his old ex durant is out there plotting with his two hydra heads!! paul thought, anyways, but finds out russ is actually having the time of his life clowning around with beal !! That just makes pg even more envious and he walks away with zero satisfaction of feeling superior JABDJSB he tries talking to John wall like "this party fuckin sucks bro" but John kinda barks at him and pg gives up. He tries talking to marcus and giannis but that was a mistake because the two smartiest smartasses in the room start roasting him together so he's shunned back to pretending like he's getting 700 thirsty women in his dms, AKA pretending like he got a text on his phone while he leans alone on a wall LMFAO. After glancing up periodically (and casually) to see if kawhi is still talking to lebron, he later gives up on playing popular and goes to hide in the bathroom like a fucking loser WHDJBFJEBD in summary he kinda broods and steams about how much he hates lebron and how he's 'so much better than him' and he's just thinking of petty insults against him to try and convince the kawhi in his mind not to leave him for lebron. He gets really mad and punches a mirror, but thank God lebron is playing bass boosted music so no one at the party hears it.

But, demar ends up knocking on the door. He needs to shit. So pg is like.. what do I do with this broken mirror and my bleeding hand.. so he tries to keep demar out and they banter and eventually demar notices its kinda weird for pg to be huddled up in the bathroom instead of partying.. he must be getting high or smthin. So he's like "that's fucking stupid. He can go get high in one of lebrons 700 rooms. Why The bathroom." So he just opens the door LANKDN and sees The Scene.

At first he's like "are u paying for that.." to which pg responds with "uhhh. I tripped and hit my head on it" (while clutching a bleeding fist) but then he realizes OHHH pg must be ... OH is he.. no.. he can't be limp wristed... blah blah they end up bonding over their funny situations: demar being jealous of kawhi and feeling like kyle thinks he sucks because of him. Pg being jealous of lebron and feeling like kawhi thinks he sucks because of him. Blah blah it's a bittersweet ending pg becomes a little less of a jerk blah blah I haven't finished it because I'm stupid and WEAK

💙💙💙💙 pg/kawhi space au is just too long I have to be in the mood to write it or I end up dismissing good details I could have included if i wasn't in such a burnt out mind!

💙💙💙 pg/kawhi sm*t fic I gotta be in the mood to detail the h*rny right 😭😭

💙💙💙 john/trae patroclus and Achilles is mainly just an idea but with no plot!

But yeah!!! Those are SOME of my wips!! This post is really long tho so I'll just shout out those!!!@ thank u for the interest tho that's so cute 😭😭😭 it helps me write more when I have a plot lined up to look off of and remember ideas so this is really helpful to me too!!! I'll be shocked if u read this far tbh!! But anyways THANK U ALWAYS FOR THE ASKS, ANON!!!!!

#ted asks #this one is so long #ted drabbles

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savoryscribbles · 4 years

Text

Kaminari Relizes He Might Be Bisexual

Main masterlist

Bnha masterlist

So I love Kaminari, Shinsou, Bakugo, and Kirishima, and I ship them all with myself. But subversive that’ll never happen I also ship them with other characters, I love Kiribaku, Tododeku, and and Shinkami, because I’m a sucker for the grumpy/rude x ball of sunshine trope, it’s my favorite ever. So here have this drabble I have made up which is based on this post here by the lovely @paunchsalazar specifically the first panel. I hope I did it justice. :;(∩^﹏^∩);:

Also, haha, Sweater Weather played while writing this, completely by accident, I just put my playlist on shuffle, and I have over 1,000 songs on there so it was like over a 1/1000(probably less than that? Idk how shuffling works on spotify) that it would play and it did lmao.

Warnings: Angst(I guess it is considering the kind of stuff I write), boi questioning his sexuality, fluff, platonic comfort(I guess)????, swearing, Kirishima being the best gay bff everrrrr, Shinsou being lowkey heteronormative(even tho he’s big gay), teeny tiny manga spoilers(only about the stuff right after where the anime leaves off), Shinsou being oblivious(surprising I know)

Another thing I’d like to say, this isn’t my usual content, I usually only post x reader stuff, but I hope you all enjoy nevertheless. Without farther a due...

⊱ ❀ ✿ ꕥ ✿ ❀ ⊰

Kaminari knew he liked girls since he was younger. Sure he had gay friends, and sure he might have thought once or twice ‘do I like boys?’ ‘Am I gay?’ But he always shot down these questions quickly, because he liked girls, he can’t be gay if he liked girls, right?

Then why did he feel this way? Why was his heart racing whoever Shisou walked by? He thought this feeling was solely reserved for girls, at least for him. Need less to say he was confused. And scared, what if he wasn’t straight? He knew he had no reason to be scared, and there was nothing wrong with not being straight.

Shinsou knew he was gay. He never likes girls as more than a friend, and when he started his teen years and looked at yah know... porn. He always found himself to be the most turned on by the male, even when he first started, and watched the most basic boring ass porn ever, he’d always focus on the man more.

So while it was a surprise that he found himself staring longingly at the blond fuckboy, it was not because he was a boy. His suprise had was more because Kaminari was not his type, at all. His type were the most stereotypical ‘bad boys’ or people who were openly gay. He liked to say he didn’t have time for people questioning themselves.

Both of them on the outside acted unfased by their realizations. Well, Kaminari tried, he failed though. Shinsou didn’t though, which made Kaminari more worried. Because what if Shinsou doesn’t like him?

All of these thoughts about his sexuality ran through his head nonstop, ever since Shinsou had done the joint training with classes 1-A and 1-B. And he tried to push them down, and hope they went away, but they didn’t. And they got worse when Shinsou joined 1-A. And one day Kaminari was just so sick of being confused, and had the courage to actually talk about his thoughts, so he brought it up to Kirishima. ‘He’s gay, so he would know stuff, right?’

“Hey. Um Kirishima?” Kaminari started in shire of where to begin.

“What’s up bro?” Kirishima responded.

“Nothing. Not nothing though, there’s something I need to ask you.”

“Well shoot bro, anything you need you can tell me.” Kirishima said, and luckily his encouraging words helped boost Kaminari confidence.

“How do you know if your gay?” Kaminari asked quickly.

“Hmm, well that’s kind of difficult, I guess I didn’t know if I was gay, I kind of just didn’t like girls, and found boys more attractive.” Kirishima answered, tapping his chin.

“Why do you ask? Do you think your gay?” Kirishima asked.

“Well no, because I like girls, I know I like girls, I like them a lot, but there’s a boy, and he makes me feel how I feel when I see a really cute girl.” Kaminari said nervously, finding it difficult to actually put his feelings to words.

“So you think you like boys and girls?” Kirishima questioned, trying to understand the situation at hand. Kaminari nodded, saying silent.

“Well to me it sounds like your bisexual, if you want a label for it, you don’t need a label if you don’t want to though.” Kirishima deduced, trying time help his friend the best he could. But Kaminari nodded and said a simple ‘thanks’ before walking away.

‘Bisexual huh? Bisexual, I like girls and boys, I am bisexual’ Kaminari said inside his head over and over again, testing how it sounded. He liked it, it brought him peace he hasn’t felt in a while. ‘I am bisexual. I AM BISEXUAL!!!!!’

But just because he knew his sexuality doesn’t mean that he has the confidence to tell the guy he fell for. But it’s a start and he’s happy.

Shinsou found it increasingly harder to ignore his feelings towards Kaminari. Especially when they sat right next to each other, or when they trained together, or when Kaminari invited him to a study session with Kirishima and Bakugo, or when Kaminari would sit next to him at lunch.

His schedule consisted of, wakings up, think about Kaminari, get read for school while thinking about Kaminari, go to school while thinking about Kaminari, pay attention in school but inevitably getting distracted by Kaminari, go back the dorms and in his room, study while thinking about Kaminari, stay up late while thinking about Kaminari, go to bed, and repeat. This annoyed him to no end. ‘Why wont that straight fuckboy get out of my head?!’

He always did this whoever he fell for a staight boy, he’d push all the feelings down until they were gone, and it worked, so why they fuck wouldn’t it work this time? Whatever was happening, he was not having it, he was fucking done with these feelings, and one solution he never did was confess. But that was the only solution he had left.

Kaminari was ready. He was ready to tell Shinsou his feelings, he wasn’t ready for rejection but that’s not something he wanted to think about. He had just came back from the nearest floral shop, and was making his way to his dorm room, when he ran into Shinsou. He almost dropped the flowers he got. Which was something he didn’t want, he had to pay extra to get it custom made with the flowers he wanted. The bouquet consisted of blue, purple, yellow and black flowers, all colors he knew Shinsou liked, but they also represented both of them, the blue and purples for Shinsou, and black and yellow for him.

‘Oh he must be on his way to ask out a girl.’ Shinsou noticed. He hated the sting he felt in his chest, but that’s why he was here.

“I need to tell you something-“

“I need to tell you something-“ They both said at the same time.

“You can go first.” Kaminari said, as Shinsou went silent.

‘Why did he need talk to me?’ ‘There’s now way right?’ ‘No no no.’ ‘I couldn’t even date him if he did.’ ‘I don’t date people like him.’ He was to distracted by his thoughts to hear Kaminari speak.

“Hello? Earth to Shinsou?” Kaminari said waving his hand in front of him.

“Oh sorry, what did you say?” Shinsou respinded snapping back to reality.

Kaminari laughed “I just said you can go first.”

‘I love his laugh.’ ‘No bad Shinsou! No feelings no feelings for straight dudes!’

“Okay. Well I wanted to tell you... I find you attractive, like really attractive, like in the gay kind of way. But I know you’re straight, which is fine, I just need to tell you so I can get over you and move on with my life.” Shinsou said with a straight face.

Kaminari stood in shock at what he had said, happy the he felt the same. However Shinsou took this shock as the ‘suprised a gay guy likes me, a straight guy.’ Kind of suprise, so he nodded and started to walk away, which made Kaminari come out of his shock.

“Wait! That’s what I wanted to talk about though!” Kaminari said running after him. Shinsou was taken aback as he heard Kaminari’s words. He turned around to face him.

“I like you too. I find you attractive too.” He explained

“Oh and these are for you, I’ve never dated a guy before, but whenever I go out on a date with a girl a bring her flowers.” Kaminari nervously put his hand with the bouquet out, while the other found the back of his neck.

Shinsou was confused, Kaminari liked him, but he mentioned girls. He had no problem dating bisexual guys, but he had one to many experiences where they would say they’re bisexual, but end of being straight and breaking his heart.

He took the flowers “uh, thanks I guess? I’ve never gotten flower before.”

“But about the like me and girls, are you just questioning? Are you bisexual? What’s going on there?” Shinsou asked.

“Oh, umm. Well I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual, I talked to Kirishima, and he suggested it to me and I liked it, so yeah.” Kaminari shrugged.

“You don’t just ‘like’ a sexuality, it’s not something you choose.” Shinsou responds, starting to get angry, ‘so he might be messing with me huh?’

“No no it’s not like that! The label felt comfortable, like more right I guess? Than straight?” Kaminari rushed, trying to explain himself.

“Look I get that you like me, and I may like you too, but I don’t date guys who are still trying to figure their sexuality out.” Shinsou responded, and started to walk away again, he might not stay true to his words if he didn’t.

‘He’s to cute. Why does he have to be cute? He’s probably just straight.’

“Wait!!!” Kaminari cried, he wasn’t just going to let him get away, not when he knew Shinsou liked him too.

Shinsou didn’t stop this time, he kept going. ‘Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around. You don’t date straight boys. You told him, these feelings should be gone!!!!’

“Please!!!” Kaminari said, his voice getting closer to Shinsou. “Please wait let me explain! I’m not confused about my sexuality, I figured it out I’m just having a hard time putting it into words!”

‘Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.’ ‘Fuck it.’ Shinsou turned around to find Kaminari right behind him, and he did something he’s never done. He grabbed Kaminari’s shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. ‘His lips they’re soft, so soft.’

Kaminari stood still for a moment before he started to kiss back. Snaking his hands around Shinsous neck.

“Was that as good as kissing a girl?” Shinsou asked after pulling away.

“Honestly? It was better, way better.” Kaminari reponded before kissing him again.

And it would be one of many kisses they would share.

#kaminari x shinsou #kamishin #shinkami #shindenki #shinsou hitoshi #bnha shinsou #bnha #bnha kaminari #bnha denki #shinsou x denki #denki kaminari imagine

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tomoonine · 4 years

Text

[reaction] ateez having a little sister who is a successful idol

Can you do an ATEEZ reaction to their little sister being a successful idol? 💕 Thank you!

☽. a cute request!! thank you for sending this in, i had fun doing this (❁´◡`❁) if you enjoyed reading this, please check out more in my masterlist! requested: yes; anon word count: 1.5k words

[Hongjoong] —

It felt surreal to him, because Hongjoong could remember as if it were yesterday when you and him talked about what success meant for the both of you

He’d probably cry of happiness when you joyfully tell him that you’ve finally reached your dreams of success (and you’ll have to be the one to hold and comfort him at this point,,,)

Hongjoong would hug you tight and be so giddy, he’d be jumping in joy and even clapping his hands as he speaks to you

He’d tell you how happy he is, how proud he is, and how much he really wanted this for you

It made him remember all the struggles he faced as a trainee, especially when he was one of the only few KQ trainees back then; he never wanted you to go through too much of a difficult time

Hongjoong can find parallels of his life to yours, and seeing how successful you are now puts him at ease

It’s surreal, nostalgic even, but your happiness is enough to keep him happy and that’s all that matters

[Seonghwa] —

Seonghwa is a subtle fan, he would like to claim

Even if he’s updated with your group’s activities and on what the media says about you

Seonghwa thinks he’s subtle because he doesn’t always bring you up when he’s in public

And because he doesn’t talk about it often, it sometimes escapes Seonghwa’s mind that his younger sibling is actually a relatively successful idol

So much that he’ll still be shocked when he sees an article praising your skills and abilities

He isn’t surprised though, he knows you’re excellent it runs in your blood

Seonghwa as your proud brother, would always show you any articles that he comes across so he could boost your morale !!

He lets everyone’s testimonies convince that you’re doing well and that you’re a very capable person because he is a subtle fan

Even if he practically knows all your choreo, and is always the first to rush front when your songs play for a random dance

[Yunho] —

Yunho could vividly recall that, in your opinion, the peak of success would occur when other groups would begin to make covers of your songs

Since then, he’d constantly keep an eye out for any groups who would make covers of any kind; let it be dancing, singing, rapping, literally any of its kind

So on the day he chances upon a rookie group doing a dance cover of one of your more popular title track, he wastes no time to send a chat to you to share the news

You probably won’t reply immediately though, unless you’re sending keyboard smash because you can’t believe it????

You’re busy sharing the news to everyone around you in the dorm and Yunho is also busy sharing the news to everyone in ATEEZ, and everyone else can tell how happy he is by the way his eyes practically glimmer under the light

If you don’t reply soon though he’s going to be sad that you ignored your Big Bro but he doesn’t mind, he’s sharing the joy with you as you achieved such a big milestone uwu

You’ll see him post a dance cover of your song to celebrate, except he’ll post it without context and ATINYs will be left confused lmao

[Yeosang] —

Yeosang, throughout time, kept his family life relatively private so not a lot of people actually realized that you two were siblings

When both of you were training, he kept his distance so he could let you focus on your career (and so that he could focus as well)

Because of that, a lot of people believed that it might have been cold of him to do that as your older brother, but you digress

He was a silent caregiver, just by intuition he could sense when you were in distress and would send a text just as you were going to crumble under pressure and insecurity

Calls were always dedicated for times of vulnerability, and those were times where Yeosang can truly shine as the older brother you needed

Except this time, when you called him, it was to thank him for being with you until your current success, and it took Yeosang by surprise

It only dawns on him that you’ve actually reached greater heights, and he feels a bit sad that he was too busy to see that

Yeosang was always there during dark times, but seeing you touching the sky at the height of success makes him feel like all the times he spent guiding you in the dark were all worth it

[San] —

San?? He’s your number one hype man, and your biggest fan

I feel that out of 8 of them, he’d be the most vocal about your relationship as siblings

And he’d use every opportunity available to promote you, and with much more intensity compared to Yunho, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung

He always has selcas with you whenever you’re both at the same location

He’d share small stories about you and him during vlives, whether or not it was asked for in the chats

Maybe even play your songs in the live, both titles and b-sides

He’d tweet dance covers, and if there are dance challenges being promoted for your comeback, he’ll definitely post one as soon as he’s free

And if you think that that’s a lot, wait until special events like your birthday and siblings’ day

He’s going to treat you to food and he’ll pay, whether you like it or not

And aside from that, he’ll be ready with a special message for you: both on social media and on private messaging

He’s very affectionate as an older brother, but all that is love is to show you how proud he is

[Mingi] —

Mingi never forgets your schedules, especially your solo schedules

As your older brother, there really are times where he feels like he should worry more about you, but he can’t help but leave you to your own devices

He trusts you a lot, and he knows that you’re very capable on your own, especially if you’ve reached this far in your idol career

Regardless, it’s a worry that has plagued him often

But it didn’t stay that way for long, especially as he continues to watch the broadcast of the reality show you’re guesting in

You’re on your own in this reality show, and your solo appearance on this intelligence-related show was highly anticipated by everyone

Mingi watches you carry yourself with so much confidence, and even make witty remarks that elicits a laugh from every other host around you

And when he sees you meekly smile as the other guests compliment you, it makes him realize that you’re doing alright

He realizes that he has nothing to worry about, and he can’t help but feel that he’s been a good brother to you all these years

Especially when he sees you following his advice about showing aegyo when he continues watching the show

[Wooyoung] —

On the day you received your first music show win, Wooyoung was completely elated, head in the clouds, absolutely overjoyed

So much that he actually yelled so loudly that everyone from outside the practice hall could hear him

He was quite loud, but no one could stop a stage brother like him,,,

Practically everyone knows that you two are related, especially because with every waking moment he’d do his best to promote your group and it’s super endearing

In fact, if someone asked him what his favorite song was at the moment, he’d usually reply with the most recent title track you released

For every achievement you attain, and every milestone you and your group reach, he’s always there to congratulate you and remind you how proud he is uwu

This is no different, achieving your first win is a big success, so you’re definitely going to expect another call from him once your activities for the day are over

And it will begin with a shrill shriek from his side of the line, as his calls were always like (loud, endearingly loud, and filled with love)

[Jongho] —

When you tell Jongho your recent achievements, he’d be just as proud of you as everyone else!!

Although, unlike the others, I think he would feel a bit guilty for all the times he would discourage you from joining the idol industry

Hearing you talk reminded him so much about those times where he would watch over your actions, and he understands that it must have been a bad move for him to that

More so when he would discourage you from achieving your dreams to be a successful idol

But don’t get him wrong, it’s because he knows what it’s like to be training at such a young age

And being the youngest member of ATEEZ made him realize how difficult it must be for people much younger than him to be undegoing such pressures

At the height of your success, he’d apologize for his earlier remarks, especially if they hurt you and actually made you unhappy

Regardless of your response to his apology, he’ll show a better side of him; one that would support you and your endeavors

All so he could make up for all the times he worried and doubted you at the beginning

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isolctions · 3 years

Text

...........so let’s finally talk abt what the actual fucking fuck is wrong with ai’rina rue castillo, huh gang? :-)

(everyone go thank @armsdealing & @durcgs beating the anxiety out of me in order to post this info-dump.)

...before we get into things, now’s the part where i establish a warning for triggers to be discussed in this lengthy headcanon post. there’s gonna be some talks of mental illness, slight alcohol abuse, & breaking down topics of familial abuse, mental abuse, religious abuse, emotional manipulation, and elements of non-con. be warned.

a’ight, so look. i’ve hinted in between threads & development that rue had a not-so-fantastic upbringing that impacted how she perceives herself, how she interacts with others, (in terms of her career, at least) and how she views personal relationships, but i didn’t realize how........severely her upbringing messed with her mental health until i started working through how i wanted to plot out rue’s behavior for her next album release. at first, i had the idea that she decided to take more time for herself & sort of distance herself from the public / media circus plaguing her life so that she can create much more authentic music. then i actually listened to the EP that i’m basing her album off of and thought “...oh.” THEN, i looked over old meme responses & old threads / mentions of her family and how she grew up and thought, not for the last time since piecing everything together: “....oh. oh fucking boy.”

so, that horrible realization dawning on me, let’s talk about rue’s childhood.

i wrote a thing like, two years ago almost (that upon looking for last night, i realized i didn’t actually share it w/ anyone but alex in our discord server & only mentioned a portion of it in rue’s moodboard that i made) that talked vaguely about how rue felt growing up. and it’s worth noting that...she’s the middle of ten fucking siblings. and that’s just the brothers & sisters she knew of that stayed with their mother. and on top of that, not all of those siblings are the product of rue’s father, or even rue’s mother for that matter. and it’s also worth noting that rue not only grew up in poverty, but she grew up never having any actual space that had solely been her own, or even an article of clothing that had belonged entirely to her. so naturally, as a young child, rue sort of became torn between starved for attention & wanting someone to pay attention to her (whether that be her older siblings including her in something, whatever teacher they had for the next six months to call on her for something, for her mother to miraculously show up with her unknown father in tow one day, & for literally anyone to be her friend, pls god Notice her!!!) and for people to simply leave her the hell alone. obviously, this carried into adulthood.

and branching off from the whole “lack of space” point i made, rue wound up growing up to become increasingly more private as time went on because she literally cannot remember a single moment where she wasn’t squished between a bunch of people. driving around in their minivan? rue’s packed in the middle of the second row. nowhere to sleep while on the road? rue’s smacked between gigantic older brothers & clingy little siblings. need to use to bathroom? lmao, she better off going outside!!! gotta change clothes? yeah, good luck with that. it was to the point where, when rue got her first period, she was humiliated by it — not because ‘omg, am i a woman now?? wtf is this???’, but because she ruined the one good sheet that she slept on with her sisters & they were super pissed at her and her mother withheld pay from her for weeks. >:/

already, rue grew up never having shit to herself until the record deal. but she also dealt with literally...so much abuse from her mother. rue thought this was the norm growing up, because all of her siblings faced their mother’s wrath at some point & all of them eventually learned to just deal with the shit and do what she says if they wanted to avoid it. they all compartmentalized and repressed to varying degrees. there’s a lot in which rue has repressed so deeply, she doesn’t even remember if it seriously happened or if she was just making it up bc it was so fucking bizarre for a parent to act that way towards their child, lol?? (and this behavior of “i’m just going to do what you say bc i don’t want to deal with whatever bullshit you’re up to if i say no” also carried into business / personal relationships, which is...very Yikes it’s amazing she didn’t get scammed or worse!)

so sure, people have complimented her for her exceptional manners & her cleanliness & how quiet / polite she is & how amazing her posture is, bc seriously, this girl will never experience back problems in her life bc her posture is so on par. but where rue typically smiles / responds bashfully, she can’t exactly just up and say: “oh, yeah, my mom used to slap the shit out of me ‘til i bruised if i spoke out of turn or talked back, and if i reached for anything in the store or put my elbows on the table she’d slap a ruler against my palms ‘til i got welts, and she’d make me read verses all night without sleep if i did anything wrong and make me straighten up and kneel on rice if i slouched or took a nap in church and humiliated me in public if i so much as looked at someone of the opposite sex on the street n oh, did i mention i also cleaned houses for rich millionaire snobs from ages twelve to sixteen and if they said or did literally anything to me i wasn’t allowed to defend myself?? ya i’m real proper :)”

(and normal ppl will go: “...................what the FUCK is WRONG with you????”)

but oh man, babe, we’re not done yet!!! rue, being the product of both a highly religious and a highly exploitative household...had difficulty when she started reaching puberty & noticing her classmates. plural, because it wasn’t just boys that she began to secretly have crushes on / fantasize abt, sexually or domestically. she also realized, oh shit, that she started looking at girls differently too. and that literally put the fear of god into her heart, bc if her mother ever found out that she was having non-platonic feelings for the girls in her classrooms, she wasn’t going to be pissed. her mom might have actually tried to kill her. or have her exorcised or something. she knew the shit would be severe, and she wanted no fucking parts of her mother or her siblings inserting the church into her personal life, thank u very much! so rue started suppressing her romantic feelings for people to the point where if adult rue receives intimacy, she’s like “...is this allowed? is this not illegal??????” while simultaneously being like “i will be a slut. just this once. as a Treat to teenage me. :>” regardless, rue learned to molotov cocktail literally any emotion or thought she had, bc she was paranoid that it would give her mother a vision.

now, onto the perils of exploitation...she should’ve been used to it really, what with her mother forcing herself & siblings to lure customers into their shop with promises of visions and palm readings and the wonders of the cards and overexerting their abilities. same with housekeeping, like being of service to people was normal! but when seventeen year old rue decided to sign a record deal and break from home, she wasn’t thinking critically about what the fuck all of this would entail. and as described in this headcanon post abt her discography, her early music was the product of allowing people much older & powerful than you to influence your work & manipulate your values. so rue was very much parading around as someone she wasn’t, someone much more confident and badass and self-assured than she really was, and she was so impressionable back then that it literally makes her sick to think back on it now. she calls it her puppy phase and phrases the eagerness to please execs as ‘tongue wagging’. homegirl hardly even knew her name anymore, bc all she was and all she would ever be was rue, the star, the vocal temptress. not ai’rina, the help or ai’rina, the seer, ai’rina, the weak little nobody. but later on, the subtle manipulation was less about decision making & how they wanted her to sound, and more about how they wanted to present the latest trophy star — because after all, she was pretty. people liked her. she sung really well. suitors weren’t too far off into the distant future. so why not kill two birds with one stone by having a high ranking label artist keep tabloids talking by being seen in public with a few heart throbs? surely, there’s no harm in manipulating an eighteen/nineteen year old’s love life! under the guise of improving her social skills & relations with fellow artists and the media and the like, rue gave into the pressures and let herself be taken out on dates & seen at awards shows with a few guys. no big deal. it was only for a night or so, she could handle the attention. then, one night appearances turned into week long appearances. pretending to date for only a month! completely innocent, positive exposure. :)

(adult rue, looking back @ younger rue: you stupid fucking BITCH-)

yeah, so once her label/management realized that she was turning into a hot commodity, they lost no sleep at allowing their nineteen year old artist to be seen ‘dating’ 20-24+ year old men occasionally. and whatever happened after their public appearances were none of their business. plus, she was good at pretending and being arm candy — so rue experienced her first kiss, her first dates, and her first times with people who she’s almost certain hardly remember their time with her, and really only got involved with her for a mutual career boost. very few of them does she actually remember in a positive light, and the ones that were positive, still depress her bc lmao all of it was fake, even if they were really nice & made it less like a chore and more like they actually wanted to be with her!! even fewer of them were actual relationships. meaning, said person asked her out of their own volition, not bc their managers thought it’d be a decent match on camera. it was evil, really, what her old label made of her. (like, she makes funny jokes that her first time having sex was awkward bc she had a vision halfway through that bummed her out but in reality it was just...really more of a transaction that made her feel icky n progressively worse abt herself until it happened more often and now she just doesn’t care anymore. sex is just sex, u know?? everything’s fake. why you gotta make it personal.) this whole fiasco took over the larger part of rue’s career from like, age nineteen to age twenty-two or so, and she suffered dramatically from this because what is even a genuine, authentic relationship at this point? what do u mean you want to get to know me? did ur manager tell you to ask so many damn questions & try to get to know me? obviously you want something from me bc that’s why everyone gets into a relationship or has sex with me, stop confessing feelings for me u fucking loser. >:/

like...rue doesn’t even have friends. outside of her relationship with marcelo / @armsdealing (which, AGAIN, i think was initially arranged to promote her song be honest, how fucking IRONIC), rue does not have any personal relationships with anyone. i mean, she likes her latest management team since switching labels...her hair stylist is rly cool & her make up artist is fun to vacation with...she met a few other celebrities at events that she occasionally texts & has dinner with...yeah, she’s basically a pretty hermit. her family is more or less out of the question — the few brothers & sisters she does still have a positive relationship with (like, four of them lol), they don’t see each other in person often / mainly communicate via groupchat and facetime calls when all of them have time. she tried visiting with her mother over the years, but the verbal & emotional abuse/curses placed on her/accusations of being an imp of satan for singing to the public/memories of being forced to perform psychic shows & clean for chump change keeps her from trying to mend that relationship. like, being gaslit by ur mother isn’t really the vibe, u know? and bottom line, rue simply is a very shy and socially stunted individual who does not know how to communicate like a normal human being anymore. hell, her life revolves around pretending for strangers at this point!

now, onto how...all of That ties into her behavior / state of mind during this next album. so, after riding the wave of success from her third album & the circus that came with that. rue sort of had a fucking existential crisis. came out of absolutely nowhere. (not nowhere — one of her brothers called her out of the blue and called her ai’rina and she literally went “who the fuck is that?”) told her label that she was taking some time in between albums bc she was creatively zapped or whatever bullshit excuse she came up with that somehow worked bc this new label was a little more understanding than the last. vacationed for a little, did some hot girl shit, bought a house, tried to see her mother again for whatever reason then got the shit slapped out of her and finally screamed at her to never touch her again unless she wanted to Throw Hands. cried and got drunk abt it. that took six months. bullshat to her label again, dropped like two songs to smooth things over, decided to focus on magic for a little to ground her, started partying with label mates then going home shitfaced & hungover every other morning. that took eight months. dropped one last song, promptly deleted her twitter, tried to write songs again, got a call from her mother and panicked and got drunk. that took a year. vacationed some more, got even drunker, was bed ridden for like three months because holy shit i’m having so many visions and if i see One More Thing my brain is going to explode, couldn’t separate the present from the future for weeks after that, told absolutely no one about that, cried every day & had an identity crisis, dyed her hair to appease the identity crisis goblins. that took a year and a half.

now, she just chilling. dyed her hair again. scaring her siblings halfway to death bc she keeps going on benders & sending cryptic texts abt the visions she’s getting but they’re so incomprehensible that they’re seriously considering moving in to get her fucking shit together. had a vision that she was married with kids and had a two week identity crisis appeased only by moving houses. (she was in a neighborhood with families...too much Drama and visions. turned into a really cool song tho.) started calling herself by her birth name of ai’rina in private. reactivated twitter to send cryptic tweets that her album is coming. working on said album. trying to drink less but kinda failing bc how is one simply supposed to make a highly personal dual album without alcohol??? prbly somewhere crying in marcelo’s lap or smthn. just vibes.

like...i feel like, in my head, the Theme of her project is wrapped up in identity. her relationship with fame and whatnot. trying to coax her childhood self out of its’ shell so that she can function like a normal goddamn person for once and re-establish her values. like, if someone went to any of rue’s residences right now, it’s just songbooks everywhere and wine glasses and her crystals and shit, bc she still has people’s futures to read for money. (yes, she never really got out of that portion of her childhood, but hey it pays.) it was all very confusing to experience at once while in bed at four in the morning & even though i tried organizing and debated on this, it’s still a Lot. which is why i am once again asking for plots that would allow her to dissect all these Things

so yeah. album four otw, with a side of confronting our childhood & facing our traumas!

#rue — facts #imagine me making a cohesive hc post #it wont happen but like imagine how sexy that would be #anyway this is long and me thinks stream of conscious hc posting is both therapeutic and Exhausting #but i had a lot of thots abt her that needed to be shared to...yeah #abuse tw #alcoholism tw #long post tw #i feel like that its always sunny meme??? yall know which one #but anyways this is somehow overwhelming n embarrassing that i typed so much so i am going to hiding!#UNLESS!...........u want to plot with this Disaster of a woman :eyes:

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15megapixels · 3 years

Photo

🥚2020 Art Summary, here we go!

(some reflections and story time about this year’s art journey is under the cut)

Despite of how hellish this year is, this year gave me a lot of opportunities. An opportunity to step back from the fast-pacing world of my day-to-day job, reflect life’s impermanence, long term plans, an opportunity to save financially (due to the lockdown as it lessened unnecessary expenditures and focused solely on the needs)*, spend more time with my family (and dog), and most important of all, the opportunity to “take the leap” from the things I’m afraid of doing.

* I can’t still believe how you guys helped me at that point where my dog Max needed surgery. I can’t thank everyone enough ❤

I was full of uncertainty and fear if I plan to make my art a career, specifically opening my art commissions. Questions such as “what if no one wants to commission me?”, “what if my paypal got hacked because of online hackers and stuff?”, “what if my works are not enough?”, “how do you do pricing? i might be over-selling. i might be cutting myself short”, “what if I can’t commit my time and my clients will get angry at me?”, help

As the saying goes, sometimes the best way to solve a problem, is through it.

I took the time to ask my artist friends, consulted & watched videos for tips and advice, and thankfully, I got there :)

First time posting an art commission service felt like I was selling some lemonades in outer space and waiting for someone to buy one. AT LEAST ONE. EVEN IF ITS AN UKNOWN LIFE FORM. Kidding aside, I was surprised at one point i got two consecutive orders, I was glad but sweating (because i dunno how to start). Fortunately, I was able to apply my job’s skill into practice (in terms of dealing customers), I was able to give them updates from time to time (i feel like its the best I should do if I cant finish one work in a day– because like any other people paying for a product and waiting for it to be shipped; we want to know what’s happening to the product/ service we paid for in advance)

Aside from being able to open up commissions and making profit from what I do and love, I also tried to be mindful how to spend that extra income to upgrade my work’s quality - I was able to also buy a decent pc set-up & an art program that really suits my needs (shout out to Clip Studio Paint- and this isn’t sponsored lmao). But I do keep going back to traditional art every now and then.

–

Isn’t it wonderful how people’s trust in your work can actually turn into self-trust and [a boost of] self-confidence? My (irl/ online) peers, family, co-workers, and even people silently going through my works always gives me hope to continue what I do, in spite of the frequent art blocks and busy work schedule. Thank you.

Party-pooper side story (major news): I filed my resignation in my full-time job because of toxic overwork culture, which led to me having more depressive episodes, and I really plan to re-align my career path towards the creative industry :) My last day will be end of January next year.

In the direction I’m going, I can see that the work resignation decision will cause me impracticality (financially) as the pandemic is still there and unemployment numbers are staggering. At some point my full-time work was bearable, but for the company to ask too much from me is just unnecessary (plus I’m not even properly compensated or allowed to take vacation leaves)

I’ll try my best from thereon to brave the storm.

Here is for this year 🥂 , and I’m looking forward to finding the “me” in my craft in the year(s) to come.

-jv🥚

#art summary calendar #jv's thoughts #my art #personal #long post

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i-am-parsec · 4 years

Text

The tour, you said, was an excellent opportunity. You would have the chance to make important business connections, boost your career, learn from far more experienced entertainers and so much more. You held my hands and looked me in the eyes and somehow tricked me into wholeheartedly agreeing with you; suddenly I was telling everyone who would listen about the shows you had planned with all these actors and comedians, about how magnificent it would be for you to experience this and how proud of my husband I was.

Someone, doesn’t matter who now, asked me where it ended and I smiled.

“In LA! They decided to have the last show close to home so Esperanza and I could actually go.”

They shot me a dirty look. A knowing, “oh, you poor, dumb thing” kind of look.

“He might like it there better than Sacramento, you know, Los Angeles is where everybody who’s somebody wants to be at.”

I shrugged it off. In my head, there was no better place in the entire world than the house we built for ourselves with pain, patience and hard work We belonged among those walls we had forged ourselves, nowhere else. The idea moving seemed ridiculous: possible, yes, maybe even sensible, but not right for us, not for the family we had started.

Oh, you poor, dumb thing.

It’s been weeks since our last proper conversation on the phone. All I have nowadays are half-assed texted expressions of love and the occasional selfie you send me after posting it all over social media. I keep reminding myself that you’re either on the road or busy performing, with little to no free time, that there’s nothing worth worrying about here. However, today I really need to talk: I’ve had a hard week, one of those weeks that makes you take a bath regardless of you never really taking baths and observe a diminutive brown stain on the ceiling for almost an hour, door locked, lukewarm water, because you really can’t take this anymore, and more importantly because you don’t know what “this” is - is it just one thing you can’t pinpoint or it is a clump of things? Is it all in your head or is it an actual problem? You can’t tell, your brain has given up and your heart is just about to, so when I’m done with my eternal, unnerving bath and I’m sure our daughter sleeps, I ask you, one more time, to give me a call whenever you get a chance.

Unsurprisingly, I get left on read for a couple hours. I remember you mentioned that today would be a day of “relaxation and reorganization with the guys”, most of whom I’ve never meet, so I try to not let this bother me, you have some hours to spare but you’re using them productively, so it’s fine. I’m fine. Well, no, I’m everything but fine, but this isn’t on you, right?

I don’t let myself answer that.

When I’m almost about to doze off, after successfully numbing my mind with some thoughtless reality TV, I hear my phone ringing.

I know from the moment you hit me with a very slurred “hi, baby!”, loud and riveting, that you’re drunk. I still allow the boring, usual questions to go on for a few minutes before I state the obvious and when you finally process the rather accusatory words, you laugh like a small, sick dog. Lord, are your sticky chuckles unwelcomed, unfunny and unnerving.

You let me know you have been drinking since way before the sun went down, as if I couldn’t tell that myself. I remain quiet. There are tears, silent and plenty that you don’t notice because you’re not paying attention because you didn’t call to find out why I have been so unhappy since you left, no, you called because you’re drunk and noisy and exuberant and you want to broadcast your enthusiasm even if only to the pathetic audience that is your wife. I bite my inner cheek until it bleeds and at no point during this whole ordeal you shut up.

You rant about how excited you are to see us again soon and apologize for being drunk way more times than I can handle so I let out a defeated:

“It’s okay. Go have fun, babe, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

I am now again alone, with my quietness and my drying tears. If I’m being honest, if I have to be honest...I felt the beginning of the end the moment you announced this fucking tour and, like the idiot, pleasing wife I have somehow managed to become, all I’ve been doing since then is smile and nod for you and the cameras only to run home and scream and cry in my pillow.

I am so awfully tired. I don’t think I can carry you much further than this, Chase. I’m not that strong, or that stupid.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, so, I’m not dead. That’s nice. Also, me posting and taggin y’all is absolutely ridiculous, I know, trust me, I do but hey, I’ve done way dumber shit since the las time I updated this fanfic so...yeah. Most of you are probably inactive anyways! what am i doing with my life ahaha

$5 to whoever can tell me what the fuck this fic was about without rereading it lmao the funny thing is I myself couldn't tell you

❤️Tag list❤️: @amyxmiaplay @beckofthewoods @closedworldofmathiel @darktrash-drash @fanfictionrecommendations-com @flyingfishflopsthings @fruitycasket @happysingingturtles @hiimizzyxoxo @hishex @scarlet-mangata @mcomegalletas @mijako98 @mysterious-cupcake-ninja @mysticalanimallover @novasingalaxies @plutoandpolaris @probablyghosting @randomartdudette @saltyweirdbi @scarlet--raven @septicuniverse @skyewardlight @thevampireauthoress @youllnevertaketheskyfromme @rats-this-username-is-taken

#Chase Brody #Stacy Brody #this one was written so long ago and it still hurts #no one is gonna read this and im not even in this fandom anymore but hey this was in my drafts so there you go #Unaddressed Letters

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ahgastae · 4 years

Text

dimple – namjoon x reader

➥ word count: 1.2k | fluff

➥ m.list

➥ a/n: i’ll be honest: this is 100% self indulgent lmao. i was a teensy bit Stressed bc of my own midterms and,, this little baby was born. it’s the first fully written piece i’ve posted in a while, so go easy on me, loves!! let me know if you’d like to see some kind of part two, and i hope you guys enjoy ♡

He ended his statement with a halfhearted shrug, and you suddenly felt bad for being so aggressive before. There was probably a million other things he could be doing with his night besides dealing with some angry library gremlin. It wasn’t like it was his fault you were having trouble understanding the material, even if you were a little jealous he clearly knew it better than you did.

You were almost positive you were going to die of exhaustion.

Either that, or all the caffeine you ingested in the past seventy-two hours was finally going to make your poor little heart pop like an overinflated water balloon. The cartoonish mental imagery from that macabre thought gave a small spark of joy to your drained system, but it quickly went away when you remembered why you were so tired in the first place.

Midterms. The bane of every college student’s existence.

Okay, maybe that was a bit overdramatic, but you had spent the last three days studying your ass off for the three (yes, three) cumulative exams you had coming up. The field for your degree was highly competitive, one of the most difficult ones to get into on campus, so you really couldn’t afford to be slacking in any of your classes.

Which is why you were in the library for yet another night; the clock reading well past midnight and your hands wringing themselves in frustration.

For whatever reason, you’d decided it would be a great idea to take a higher level calculus course to fulfill some of your math credits. It was way more than what was required for your degree, but you originally thought it would look good on your transcript and hopefully give you a bit of a boost later on. At that moment, though? You were honestly considering chucking your textbook off the third-floor balcony.

An aggravated groan escaped your lips, and you let your head fall onto the table with a gentle thud. Maybe if you sat there long enough, the earth would open up and take you out of this mathematical hell.

“Um...Are you okay?”

The new voice might’ve been a surprise if you weren’t so lost in your own little pity party, but all it got in response was mumbled strings of curses and algebraic equations.

“‘X’ equals negative ‘B’ plus or minus the square root…”

“Oh, geez,” The same person muttered, now much closer than before. “Quadratic formulas really got you down, haven’t they?”

Your head snapped up at lightning speed, startling the spectacled boy that had been glancing down at your opened textbook.

“What did you just say?”

His eyes widened, hands gesturing frantically in front of him, “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude! I just recognized the textbook and figured you must be taking Professor Bang’s class.”

You looked between his flustered face and the tabletop, brows furrowing the longer you stared at the school supplies scattered across it. Glasses opened his mouth to apologize again when you cut him off.

“You knew what I was studying from just a glance at the textbook page?”

“Yeah?” He smiled shyly, scratching at the nape of his neck. “Sorry if that’s weird or something. I just had Professor Bang last year and really liked his class, so, I, uh, yeah.”

A light bulb went off in your head. It might be a little crude considering you almost bit his head off a few minutes ago, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask, right…?

“Hey, I–”

“Do you–”

The two of you began at the same time, and he let out a small chuckle. Your heart sped up a little bit at the sound, and it made you really take a good look at him for the first time.

He was definitely cute. His thick-rimmed glasses rested attractively on his face, deep blond hair swept up and off of his forehead. You had to hold yourself back from reaching out to poke one of the dimples in his cheeks, gaze drifting up to find his warm brown eyes looking at you expectantly.

Oh, shit. Did he just say something and you were too busy checking him out to pay attention? You really wanted to blame it on the sleep deprivation, but you felt like that would be lying to yourself.

You cleared your throat, trying to ignore the heat in your cheeks, “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

As if just to spite you, he smiled again, those goddamn dimples on full display.

“I asked if you wanted some help with your studying.” Without waiting for your answer, he settled himself into the chair across from you. “It looked like you were having some trouble.”

“O-Oh, no, you really don’t have to do that. I’m sure I could figure it out on my own.”

“It’s okay,” He chuckled at your suddenly shy demeanor. “I’m a library aide, it’s kinda in my job description to help out.”

“Library–” You whispered to yourself, eyes widening when you came to a realization. “Does that mean you’ve been watching me the whole time?!”

The thought that this cute guy had been watching you struggle for the past several hours (maybe even more) did nothing to stop the burning in your face. It was one thing to look like you had no idea what you were doing, but you knew for a fact that you’d been grinding your teeth and grumbling under your breath like a cave troll since the clock struck ten. Not exactly the prettiest first impression.

Much to your surprise, however, he only laughed, and for a good moment you forgot about the embarrassment bubbling in your chest.

“I know, I know. Lame, right?” He scratched at the back of his neck, eyes cast down at the table. “You’ve been coming in here for the past three days, and I only just now worked up the courage to talk to you.”

You blinked once. Twice. Then another time to make sure your body hadn’t finally given in to its exhaustion and this wasn’t some kind of dream.

When you opened your eyes again, he was still there, sitting across from you with a small smile on his face. His hands fidgeted nervously on the table, like he was worried he’d somehow said too much or overstepped his boundaries. You didn’t know how to tell him it was the exact opposite.

“You wanted to talk...to me?”

“Ever since the first night you came in,” He answered sheepishly, and your breath caught in your throat. “I didn’t want to bother you while you were working. You just seemed like you were so frustrated tonight that I wanted to help. At least take your mind off things for a while. I know how midterms can be sometimes.”

Again, you fell quiet. This incredibly attractive, adorably dimpled stranger of all people honestly wanted to ease your stressed out mind, even if just a little. Forget being a dream, he had to be an angel sent from above.

“You know what?” You bit your lip, glancing up at him shyly. “I’d actually really like that, um…?”

“It’s Namjoon,” He smiled brightly, and you swore those dimples had to be illegal. “Kim Namjoon.”

#namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts namjoon x reader #namjoon #kim namjoon #bts namjoon #namjoon fic #namjoon fluff #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fic #bts fluff #my writing #i've been on tumblr for idk how long and i still don't know how to tag things

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Text

why do people seem to think i’m a big name blogger

i only have like 1800 followers (or I guess closer to 1900 now?), that’s pocket change compared to some of the people around here

i know there’s people with less, and that doesn’t make you invalid or anything. Because it’s not about size. It’s either about quality or about enjoyment, and really, your latter should come first in fandom. If you have a hobby blog designed to spread enjoyment, then yes, quality. If you positively impact just 5 people’s lives on the regular, you’ve done a good thing.

This falls in line with my “anyone can meta” and moods about who feels comfortable metaing or having those opinions, but it’s become a general sentiment.

And most of all don’t feel like you need to lockstep with me. now, not lockstepping with me doesn’t mean "shit directly on someone’s positive content post like a whole entitled jackass”, but like. I don’t care if you were some little blog with 10 followers that I gave a boost and now you’re kinda popular. you don’t owe me shit.

Because that’s another weird thing and I think people need to practice self-care on this more. Four different people, on four different occasions, that were incensed I wouldn’t fall into borg mind or surrender my opinions, have tried to claim they “made” me. Ironically, none of them did. Like even ignoring my following point, even in the way they meant it -- which is the irony.

When Kelloggs club pounced on my first ever fandom tweet years ago for the sin of having a Cas plushie icon, and I floored them with numbers they had never seen and got blocked by the whole damn hoard in my first hour in fandom like a temporary urban legend, I made me. Sure, they drew attention and made a shitshow. Sure, it led to me being drawn into group chats that expanded my networking and stuff. But I made me. When a big name fan was upset at how much traction I’d gained in a month, because this fandom is obsessed with clout for some goddamn reason, and I stood my ground? They drew attention. But the way I held my ground? I made me.

When TAW went bananas on me for catching him hand in the cookie jar with Misha and my unwillingness to be backed off that turned heads? I made me. Everybody helped with of course blacklisttaw, but I didn’t make blacklisttaw, everyone made blacklisttaw, I just started it. And it worked. Because of everybody. He hasn’t had a non-indie job aside from things being re-re-re-re-reannounced from 2008 plans or things stuck in production purgatory since 2014 releasing late since. That ain’t all my credit. I didn’t MAKE that. I started it, maybe. But you guys made that. I just stood there with a megaphone for those who weren’t positioned to speak, and gave some cornerstones. Everybody else’s work did the rest.

(And ironically, NONE of the people that wanted me to feel like they MADE me were involved in that. I think they all actually came after all of these things.)

The people along the way help. But just because someone helps you doesn’t mean you’re indentured to them, their demands, or even their abuse for life, or touting every single thing they say as truth.

Whatever content you made that got shared? You made that. You made you. Your thoughts, opinions, contributions, choices made you. Someone giving you a digital nickel along the way, or even a digital hundred dolla bill, doesn’t obligate you to them. If they genuinely appreciated your thoughts and content instead of finding it temporarily useful or convenient... then they gained the benefit of your contribution in exchange. If someone had another intent, that’s on them.

(honestly same goes for RL on this point; sure try to repay people but repayment doesn’t mean you’re shackled to them for all eternity and if someone said they wanted to HELP you and then turned around like “ok and the interest accrued is--” or flags it around as some weight? Fuckin’ run. RUN AWAY. “Help” doesn’t come with a leash or a motive. It comes because they want to help. And anyone that spins that around on you -- life lesson -- holy shit. Run. You help people because you care, whether that’s about them as an individual or general human empathy -- not for what you get out of it. And again seriously guys REAL LIFE PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU TAKE NOTHING ELSE FROM ANYTHING I EVER SAID. If someone had told me this when I was younger I would have dodged YEARS of receiving violence. It’s like the shittier, less competent version of mob logic, only at least the mob is honest that they’re gonna break your kneecaps if you fuck up before you get started. Y’know what? I value honesty. If you’re gonna demand something, be honest and threaten my kneecaps up front.)

Nobody made you but you. I helped along the way, or some other people helped. But I’m never going to be like HOW DARE YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION I MADE YOU!!!!!!! because like-- is anybody watching the show right now? Anybody at all? Chuck’s stomping around and throwing hissyfits because hE mAdE thEm AnD hE’Ll ShoW tHEm and like in the end, Chuck didn’t make them. Maybe he influenced things around them. But they’re making themselves.

And I feel like this fandom would do so much better if they abandoned this tribalistic herd mind nonsense for fear of obligation to *whatever* because guys, people who hold you to that? They’re abusers. Like. Literally. No lie. Shit man. Those people online can’t even “make” anyone, because they only make themselves, and then people react to what they’ve made of themselves. Everyone decides they’re too much? Too bitter? Too whatever? Everybody stops spreading their content? Guess what they’ve got. A big ball of Too Much Bitter on their dash and nothing else. But you know what? They made them. They made that. They make that big ball of whatever.

Like congrats guys you temporarily liked my opinions when you liked them and strolled along when I was at like 700 followers already and now that you don’t you’re gonna-- what? Get mad at other opinions? Come on now. People aren’t just tools to be waved around. We’re complex. You’re complex. Hopefully you all treat other people as complex. Never put yourself in a digital collar to jump through digital flaming hoops for fear of some kind of digital retaliation.

Hell, if there’s one moral from How-I-Made-Me in that list above, that’s it, really. Lmao, fuck the borg guys, come on. You do you. My path was essentially “Fuck the bronlies, fuck the extreme con crowd, fuck sexual predators, and fuck extremes of any fandom lane, even if that’s a lane within my own ship.” -- your path doesn’t have to be my path. You make your path. You just share it with people on the way. If they diverge, they don’t get to throw you down whatever hill they’ve declared is the one to go down. And definitely make sure in the land of “all opinions/interpretations are equal” that is said online like a parrot stuck in a loop, you’re not letting them use that to completely ironically steamroll over your own while leaving theirs unchecked of any real compunction.

So no, don’t come shit on my posts directly, don’t come whatever. But don’t ever just lockstep with me, or anyone else, because you feel some weird form of obligation over something as irrelevant as digital clout in the world of a TV fandom that IS ENDING ANYWAY so WHAT THE FUCK. The people you have around you? The views you soak? The follows you have? Good and bad. Those are what are going to paint the rest of your experience for this show you (theoretically) love from here into eternity.

Am I too loud? That’s fine. You do you. Is someone else too perpetually bitter? Don’t tie yourself to them. Pay close attention to what is sculpting your fandom experience in this final hour and into its life beyond. Because that’s gonna be the difference between you keeping love for this show in your heart once it’s off the air or petering off into distressed disfavor for it.

At one point when the show was ending, I thought “I’ma follow every account like in the history of ever” and man was that a bad idea. A few sweeps later and I’ve cleared out bitter bullshit clogging my dash, random cacophony, and have nothing but good shit to reblog again and damn if that isn’t even gonna make the experience of everyone in my proximity better too. Much less my own. And yeah, that matters. It’s called fandom. It’s supposed to be fun. Not obligate chaos.

Either people take you as you are, or they don’t. Fuck the ones that just want parts of you for a time and want to discard the rest. Those people aren’t worth your time. Hell, that even wants to go for people who have dedicated bitter blogs. You wanna be bitter and nasty okay that’s fine, if somebody is just there for some other shit and then gets mad that you’re bitter after goddamn choosing to follow you knowing full god damn and well you’re bitter, they can fuck off too. Stay mad if you want. You do you. I might say it’s probably not the best for mental health and general wellness but in the end that’s still up to you. And put an asterisk that doing shit on tumblr is different than twitter where if you make a bunch of rowdy bitter people in your area and you or they start shit-tagging creatives and doing the above kinda bullshit, no, that doesn’t work the same. Or like the multishipper I saw getting attacked despite making a whole other blogspace to keep their wincest away from impacting other people’s eyes like -- if they’re hunting down that side account just to cause bullshit, fuck them too. Seriously, fuck the borg.

#supernatural #fandom #ethics #honesty #manipulation #independence #group think #free thinkers

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