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unabashednightmarepizza · 9 months

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Merula snyde x M/C (no gender)

Soulmate

It is impossible to lie to your destined soulmate.

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼𝑠 𝑁𝑜 𝑈𝑠𝑒 𝐼𝑛 𝐿𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔

Warning: Spoilers for the "Conjure a Patronus" and "Letter from Hogwarts" quests.

A/N: Damn, this took a long time for me to write for some reasons... Perhaps I have a difficult relationship with Merula, not knowing whether to love her or strangle her.

Prompts: I don't care what they say about me, loving you was really hard, I need somebody to hold me, and it's all for you from this

As little kids, people often thought about having their other half. Someone that was destined to be their one and only, decided by some higher power or whatever. Maybe the idea of someone being created just for them amazed them with the metaphysics of the whole system, or not having to seek love and fail over and over benefited them maybe.

Whatever the reason was, in a magical world like yours, it wasn't so unusual to hear such thing.

Most witches and wizards had their soulmate when they start the school, or work, since they spent most of their childhood and teenagehood in the school.

But you? No luck as of late.

It wasn't like you were actively seeking out to find whoever your soulmate was. All your focus was either on Quidditch, the Vaults and your brother, or...

The task given to you, right now.

There was already so much going on in your life, and you were just a teen, so many things that it made you often loose your appetite and just hang your head low while your head pounded.

Adding finding your soulmate and bringing whoever that person down with you into this shithole didn't seem fair to either one of you.

You just wanted... some peace of mind.

" What's that troubled look, Y/L/N? Spit it out."

You lifted your head to see Merula, your kind of enemy, looking at you with her usual snarky and mischievous eyes as a scoff left you. "Nothing, Merula. Why do you care?"

Merula smirked as she sat down in front of you, leaning the upper half of her body on the table as she looked at you with unreadable eyes.

At least for you.

If she wanted to be honest, Merula was in a very big dilemna. On one hand, you have been her enemy ever since you started school. She always bullied you and your friends, constantly duelled you only to be the one who was defeated... But none of them were what disturbed her, no.

It was the fact that they all made her left awestruck at your elegance, power and strength. And as if it wasn't enough, it also changed the beating of her heart too.

Soon, after she begrudginly accepted that "admiration" as the blonde Hufflepuff said, she had come to a frightening realization soon after you helped her with the whole Dementor case.

She couldn't lie to you, no matter how much she wanted or tried.

"You know how the saying that only those who are pure of heart can cast Patronuses?"

This was utterly so stupid and humiliating. At least for Merula. Her? The strongest witch admitting weakness? And as if it wasn't bad already, she couldn't lie to save her dignity?

To you, out of everyone?

Someone she bullied for as long as she could remember? Someone who probably hated her guts and might just do everything she did to them to her in return, and Merlin forbade it, much worse?

Yeah, that was the kind of luck she had.

You, a literal prodigy and the hero of Hogwarts, as her soulmate?

Fucking wild.

" I thought learning the Patronus Charm would let me prove that I'm not the same as my parents... But now that I'm close to achieving my goal, I'm not so sure if I want to know..." she continued and sighed out, relaxed a bit more now. She didn't lift her head to look at you or Tonks, she could already feel the shocked states you were giving her.

And suddenly, she felt like crying because one, you were her soulmate and two, she was being emotional in front of you and wanted you to hug her thightly.

And after the whole mess was over and she was looking at your expecting eyes, shining with a playfull beam, she considered to be... nicer to you, and get to know you better until she was ready to tell you that you were soulmates.

In her own special way.

"Thanks for saving me... both from the Dementor and from an answer I'm not ready for."

You gave her a soft, understanding smile. Hope for becoming friends blossoming in you for the first time.

"You are welcome, Merula.

Back to the present time, she looked at you shaken after you clicked your fingers before her eyes, worriedly looking at her since she never was this much silent. Because your sour expression is making me loose my appetite, that's why.... She wanted to say, snarky just like she normally was but instead...

" I saw that gloomy look on your face from across the hall and could tell you were wigging out about something..." was what left her mouth. It wasn't like her words wasn't sarcastic still, but considering the fact that she "hated" you, it was a shock to hear that the Merula Snyde was worried about you.

You eyed her curiously while gaping at her, completely surprised how she showed... care? Merula Snyde, the ever crude enemy of yours, being soft? Because of you?

You adjusted on your seat, shuffling a bit at your slightly faster heart. You couldn't lie that since the day you two met, she changed both physically and obviously, emotionally. She was much stronger than she was once, definetly had gotten taller and... more pretty.

At first, when you realized that she could be your potential soulmate, you flipped. Literally. Cursing at Merlin and the universe for suddenly throwing you in a cliché "enemies to lovers" trope while the Vaults and your brother was still a huge problem. The girl literally tried to kill you many times, though it might have not been her intention really, and more often than not, looked down at you or what you did. She was always so against you and what you did so why?

Why did she have to be your soulmate?

Merula looked at you anxiously when your eyes hardened, feeling uneasy for the first time like ever. Every minute you spent not answering her and looking into her eyes directly, she got even more anxious and also curious about what was going on through your head.

But she was Merula, and she couldn't show... care and worry. "So? What is it this time? Is there a dragon on loose in the castle and you haven't been able to duel it yet?"

A snort left you at her question, though you didn't hold back from rolling your eyes at her. "Well... It's not like that, obviously. Though it would be fun to see it and have you fight it just to prove me." You smiled softly at her as she widened her eyes at the burning feeling on her cheeks, and looked down shyly. Your heart stopped for a second at the bashfull girl that was sitting in front of you and not the "enemy" you had been dealing with for the past years. Your cheeks flushed and you looked around to see if anyone was watching you two, because Merlin knew it was near impossible for you two to sit still peacefully.

"I just..." you sighed tiredly and leaned back on your seat, taking the sight of Merula, your soulmate, with a heavy heart as you recalled your memories, or at least... tried to.

"I just try to remember my first magical moment, the first time I used magic... I know Jacob was there, we never were apart from each other." Your eyes glazed over, the missing feeling of your brother's disappearance still heavy on your heart.

Amd Merula, for the first time at seeing your face, felt bad about bullying you about him and his "potential death".

Everyone has been telling you to stop, before you also went mad like your brother, especially your parents. They didn't want their only child left to be striken with the same thing as their eldest, they didn't want to loose you too.

But... What if he was just waiting for you to help him? What if only you could help him?

" I know it's locked away somewhere in my head but I can't seem to recall it. I have been asking my friends about their own first time in hopes that it will shake something loose... But so far? Nothing..."

Well, the sight of the usual cheerful and happy you, being all sad... Didn't sit right with Merula and it definetly wasn't because her heart squeezed painfully in her chest as if she felt your pain as her own. What was this feeling of making you smile and annoy her at the same time? Why didn't she like that feeling on your face? Was she getting soft over you already? Did it... annoy her, being soft and loving and considerate, when it was you who she was involved with?

Nope, not at all.

She gulped her nerves down and looked at you for a second. They aren't some Dementor, they aren't gonna suck the life out of you.

"I... remember the first time I used magic."

Wait... Was she helping you?

You lifted your head slowly to look at her, watching as she was looking behind you to avoid your eyes.

" It left quite an impression on everyone involved." You gaped at her, shocked with your hand up in the air with the fork you held, surprised at her... words.

"Merula... Are you trying to help me?"

That made the red alarms go off in Merula's mind as her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed in a deep red color.

Oops, she caught me!

"O-Of course! I'm the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts, after all! And you wouldn't be able to get the job done, like... at all! And it's also natural that my origin story is something impressive!"

"And how do I know that you aren't lying?" You couldn't help but question, your words leaving your lips without your control. But you regretted them just the same when Merula's face fell and her eyes looked at you through her lashes sadly.

A sight that you never dreamed even in your wildest dream.

Just when she was opening up to you slowly, you had to go and ruin it, right Y/N?

"Why the hell would I lie to you?"

No, it was your imagination... Merula's voice didn't shake with disbelief at your question.

You shook your head in confusion, everything becoming overwhelming suddenly. "I don't know, Merula. When it comes to you, I don't know anything except you wanting to destroy me... I mean you lied to me when I was just 11 and made me a food for the Devil's Snare... You can't-"

"No matter how much I want to, I can't lie to you... Trust me, I tried."

That... was the bomb only she could drop. A bomb that threatened to ruin everything, one that could destroy whatever nice things she could do or say.

And though she hoped you didn't understand the heavy meaning behind her words, you did...

"You?"

One word, three letters, and the coldest rone you ever had... And soon, Merula's face twisted in anger and she bolted out of Hall, leaving you in shock as you tried to hold onto her shirt with your heart being dropped to your stomach.

"Merula, wait! I didn't mean to-"

But it was too late.

"What do you want, Y/L/N? I'm studying." You winced at the cold tone she used towards you, her eyes never leaving the page before her at the empty potions classroom. You didn't mean to sound so cold back then, in the Great Hall, but... you were just surprised.

Her? Your soulmate?

What kind of a romcom was this?

Besides, you thought she would never care about such thing, yet alone getting emotional over them...

Maybe you were more of a bad person for assuming so...

"You have been reading the same page for 5 minutes already... Do you think I'm deft enough to believe in that?" You leant over the pillar of the class with your arms crossed in front of your chest, with a soft yet sad smile on your face as she buried her face deeper into her book that she definetly wasn't reading anymore.

"Are you sure you want me to answer that question?" She slapped the book close as she teasingly, yet with a hint of anger which was justifiable, looked at you. You sighed guiltily as your arms fell and rubbed your temples with thight circles. You were already done with blaming yourself, you already felt like a total jackass for what you said, but Merula wasn't helping you fixing it either.

"Why are you so annoying... Merula, I'm trying to fix what I-"

"Then, don't bother! You made it pretty clear then how you saw it... saw me."

You sighed heavily as you sat down next to her, already feeling another headache coming. But you didn't care, if this was the last chance you had to have somewhat a happy future...

You had to fix this mess, the mess you created... Especially after witnessing how much this meant to her, how important it was for her to see you accept her.

"Look, Merula, you can keep avoiding the subject all you want," a scoff left her as she shook her head at you, disappointed with angry tears filling her eyes. Were you really going to scold her? Was she that much of not worthy for love?

What was she expecting anyways? That you would fall into her arms? Call her the love of your life? Her, who was the daughter of two death eaters? Who people saw as another potential one?

"But, contrary to what you might think right now, I'm not giving up on you, I'm not leaving you. So you might as well cooperate and talk to me."

Silence scretchted. One minute, two minutes... It was probably right before the third one ended that she spoke, finally gathering her courage.

"Why?"

"Why what?" You tilted your head in confusion, making her shake her head in disbelief at herself for feeling warm at your adorable curiosity.

"Why don't you give up on me? Clearly, I don't mean anything to you by your previous-"

"Merlin, just..! Let me explain myself, okay? No questions until the end. Once in your life, don't throw a snarky comment." You exclaim harshly, your hands flying up to either side of your face with your eyes shut in slight anger. Merula looked at you frozen, suddenly feeling hot all over her body at the intense eyes you were giving to her.

She nodded silently, a first for her, and nodded at you. You sighed nervously, suddenly aware of the weight of your next words would bring.

They would either be the start of something new, or be the reason why everything would go down for good.

You took a deep breath and dived in.

" My reaction from earlier wasn't because of disgust." Another scoff, met with your raised brows as Merula apologized silently. " I know it's hard to believe, especially when I acted like a true bitch. But... What I meant, what I wanted to just say was that..."

Damn, this is harder than I thought...

"Is that there was no possible way that someone like me was your soulmate. That's why I was like that..."

Merula was shocked. Actually that could be a understatement, because she never thought she would see the day that the usual confident you would sound so fragile and insecure of yourself.

Especially because of her... Because, wasn't she supposed to be the one who is insecure? Her parents were Death Eaters, in Azkaban, and pretty much everyone hates her in the school.

Meanwhile you had many friends, was the Quidditch captain and a prefect who was loved by many in the school. There were probably even some guys and girls who would die to be with you...

You had everything to offer to a possible lover, meanwhile she had nothing.

Why were you thinking like that?

Before she could talk and reassure both you and herself, you continued urgently, wanting to let everything go before she threw a "Depulso" or perhaps even more of a dangerous charm at you.

"Loving you was really hard, accepting it after many sleepless nights was even harder. Because I was scared of what others would think, what our families would think. And the fact that you hated me didn't help..."

"I don't care what they say about me, they can throw shit at me for all I care but you... You are the one good thing that might have happened to me in my short years, for now, and I don't want to... loose you."

She held your hand in a thight grasp between hers as she lifted your joined hands to your eyesight, pointing to them. She would show you all those silly worries of yours was pointless, that she was ready to do whatever it took to fight for you, for herself.

She would live for herself.

"This? This means I care about you, not I hate you. Even when we first met, I never hated you... Well, maybe a bit."

You both chuckled at her attempt to be smooth and you squeezed her hand back in response. You really wanted to believe in both of you, that you two could stand together until the very end...

But what if...

"But... How about our families? Continuing the line or whatever? What would others think-"

Merula sighed annoyed before she flicked your forehead almost in affection. That dumb head of yours is gonna be the reason of your end...

"I just need someone to hold me, Y/L/N..." she said sternly. " Love me without any conditions, any expectations. And... If some fate decided that it was you who would do it, I'm fine with it." She looked down to where your hands were resting on the table in deep thoughts before she gingerly smiled after so long.

"I don't need the money, fame or anything... Though I realized it late. I know I'm rough around the edges but all the love, care, softness and tenderness I have left... It's all for you, they are all yours."

Those dumb romance books really worked...

Wow, I... I never thought Merula had such a romantic side... There is no reason to doubt her.

"Okay." You said breathless, nodding in happiness.

"Okay?" Merula asked in confusion at how easily you... accepted her. Maybe, she shouldn't have made fun of you for being so accepting with everyone else.

"Yeah... Sorry for being an arsehole in the Hall."

She laughed freely at your sheepish look, and you basked in it. She is even more pretty when she laughs...

Behind that laugh though, laid Merula's biggest fear. Now that you two clarified everything... There was only one thing left to do.

"Then... Wouldyougooutwithme?" She hurriedly asked, not wanting the embrassment of asking you out take over her completely. At first, you stood shocked at your seat, not expecting her to talk so fast. And Merula thought it meant rejection, that it was too soon, but you understood her perfectly.

Perhaps what others told you was true: You and Merula were much more alike than neither one of you thought.

"Merula..." you smiled softly at her, " I'd love to go out with you." She was finally able to breathe normally as relief took over and then her mind started to wander. Where to take you...

Black Lake? No, too silent. Hogsmeade? You teo could sit at the teashop and then buy candy and eat it later on the train.

Yes, that was okay... What?

In a spur of moment, you shyly kissed her cheek and bolted out of the class, but not before whispering to her "I can't wait, Merula. For whatever you plan."

Huh..? Well, maybe soulmates weren't that overrated after all, if they gave suxh pure happiness to even the coldest looking girl Hogwarts had ever seen.

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