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megalony · 3 months

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My Little Man

This is an Eddie Diaz imagine, based on a lovely anon request which I thought was very sweet. I hope you all like it, feedback always makes my day.

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: Chris finds a memento that brings back a lot of memories for (Y/n) and Eddie from when he was born.

Enjoy.

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"What have you got there, baby?" (Y/n) looked over her shoulder and smiled when Chris toddled into her and Eddie's room.

He had a familiar smile on his face as he made a beeline for the bed and flopped down on (Y/n)'s vacant side of the bed on his stomach. His legs kicked happily against the duvet and he started tapping whatever he had in his hands that he had brought through to show them.

Finishing typing up her hair, (Y/n) looked away from the mirror and walked across to the bed. She slowly crawled over the end of the bed and worked her way up towards Eddie. He was laid on his left side, one arm propping his head up against the pillow and his right arm moved out to let (Y/n) worm her way against him.

She sat down and crossed her legs beneath her as she leaned her back into Eddie's torso, feeling his arm curve around her waist so his hand could splay out on her front. He leaned across to press a chaste kiss to her arm and diverted his attention from the tv over to Chris to see what he was up to.

It would be his bath time soon and then they would watch a movie before bed, but Chris had been doing some crafts and colouring in the dining room for the last half an hour. Clearly he had found something of interest that he wanted to show them.

(Y/n) leaned further back into Eddie and reached her hand down to hold his wrist when she realised what the small red book was that Chris had found.

"My book."

"Your book- oh, your record book… God I haven't seen that in a while." Eddie skimmed his fingers across the leather cover and found himself smiling.

It was the health record book they got when Chris was born. It contained all his information from when he was born up until he was three years old. Of course, all of Chris's records were on file at the hospital and had been transferred here when they moved up from Texas. But this was the book they had to take with them to each appointment when Chris was little, showing his progress and achievements and any changes.

When Chris opened the first page of the book, he skimmed his finger across his name and started to laugh. It always tickled him to see his middle name. Edmundo. He thought it was so funny to know Eddie's full name and know that it was his middle name, after his dad.

A smile danced across (Y/n)'s lips as she held Eddie's hand tighter and nuzzled her face against his shoulder to try and get a better look at the book. Chris must have been snooping through the box in the dining room where (Y/n) kept all their scrapbooks over the years. When she didn't need the baby book anymore, she kept it safe with all their family pictures and albums.

Chris dragged his finger over the chart on the left page which showed milestones and his age progression. He didn't quite understand the chart but he traced it anyway before looking onto the next page.

"What's that mean?" He slid the book to the left so it was level with Eddie's arm, allowing both parents to look over the next page.

"That's how big you were when you were born. Four pounds, see." It made Eddie's chest tighten to think that Chris was that small when he was born. It brought back memories that plagued Eddie in the dead of night. And it hurt knowing his son was that small when he was born, knowing he would of barely fit in Eddie's hands when he was a newborn.

Chris flicked across a few pages to the developmental pages but he didn't understand what they meant. There were doctors notes, saying his speech was delayed, he could hold himself up but couldn't walk yet. But he was engaged in conversation and seemed to understand everything around him.

"What about that?" He tapped his finger against the two words that stuck out to him which appeared on the page before and the next few pages in the book.

Correct age.

"That means your development age… you were doing good for your proper age." Eddie ran his hand across his chin and scratched up the side of his jaw. He couldn't think how to word it in a way that Chris would understand.

"Proper?"

"Your birthday's in November, yeah?" (Y/n) waited until Chris nodded, suddenly alert at the mention of his birthday. "Well, you should have been born in February, baby. So every February, that's when you hit your correct age… it's just something the doctor uses to make sure you progress properly, that's all."

It always irritated (Y/n) that Chris was three months ahead of where he should be. When he had his first birthday, it was clear he technically looked like a nine-month old and then he didn't look two, or three. He never looked his age because he had been born far too early.

And in terms of progression, the doctors used his due date to give his correct age. So it didn't matter if Chris didn't hit his milestones on or around his birthday, they used his correct age to guess where he was at and track how he was getting along. His speech was behind but he had done so well in getting back on track. His walking was different and couldn't be judged because of his Cerebral Palsy.

But things like sitting up and following conversations and interacting and playing and socialising, they could all be tracked. And Chris hit every milestone in those areas as he should have near his correct age.

"I was small?"

"You were tiny,"

Chris made a small whine like he was disagreeing and before Eddie could move, Chris leaned over him. Eddie gruffed and rolled onto his back so it was easier for Chris to lay on his chest and reach across for his chest of drawers beside the bed.

His nimble fingers moved into the top drawer and he scoured around until he found the silver photo frame he knew was tucked away in there.

"I wasn't tiny, see." Chris put the photo frame down on the bed next to the book and pointed.

(Y/n) felt the way Eddie tensed behind her and he leaned back up and smothered his lips against her bare arm. She felt his hand tighten over her stomach and his arm tensed and bulged at her side when he looked down at the picture.

It was the first time Eddie held Chris.

The photo stayed on Eddie's bedside table since the moment it was taken and now Chris was a bit older, Eddie swapped the picture for an updated photo. But he kept this first memory in his drawer, close by for whenever he felt the urge to look at it.

Eddie was still in his uniform in the photo, he had raced down to the hospital from the moment his feet hit solid ground back in Texas. It hurt Eddie more than anyone could ever comprehend to not have been there when Chris was born.

They had it planned out, he would finish his tour in the army two weeks before Chris's due date and be home in time to be there with his wife when she gave birth. Eddie hadn't expected to be told while he was out in the army that his wife had already given birth prematurely, without him there beside her.

He had to deal with pictures and video calls of his son, seeing him progress over a dodgy internet connection for the first three months of his life. Eddie never got to hold his son when he weighed four pounds. By the time he came home, Chris had bulked up to seven pounds and was finally able to leave the hospital and go home.

Eddie had lost even more sleep in the army, fretting that he wouldn't be there if something happened to his baby and he lost his son. He couldn't stand the thought of losing Chris without ever seeing or holding him first.

"No, bud… I wasn't here when you were born. I was away in the army." Eddie perched his chin on (Y/n)'s shoulder and managed a smile when she brushed her hand across his cheek to wipe away a tear.

"You were being brave."

"No, not as brave as you and mum."

***

"There's my girl- you're gonna have to speak up mi amor, it's fucking loud over here."

Eddie held the Ipad in both hands and grinned when the screen finally lit up and he was faced with a blurred pixelated image of his wife. Three months out here was starting to feel like three years with how long Eddie had been separated from her.

He knew it would be hard when he signed up. Being away from his family wasn't as much of a burden as being kept away from his wife. Letters were good, they were a physical keepsake he could hold close to his heart when he thought of (Y/n). Pictures were even better, they reminded him that he was never going to forget what she looked like and that he would be home soon to hold her in his arms.

Talking to her like this was the best out of everything. Seeing her on the screen and hearing her voice kept Eddie going and gave him something he could think back on and listen to in the dead of night.

He hadn't been excited to leave for the army while (Y/n) was pregnant, though. He was missing everything. The appointments, the sonograms, the pictures. And worst of all, he was missing out on watching the way (Y/n)'s body was growing and changing while he wasn't there. But he would be home soon. Just less than three months and Eddie would be home to hold his wife in his arms and see how much she had changed and hold her stomach before she gave birth.

"How are you, mi amor?" Eddie tangled a hand in his hair and ruffled it further back and away from his eyes. He didn't want anything to obscure the vision he now had in front of him.

He was glad the tent was empty. There was nothing Eddie hated more than having to talk to (Y/n) with people watching and listening. He couldn't ask her to stand up and strip for him or let him see how much her stomach had changed if he had others in the room.

Panic struck Eddie in the heart and wiped the smile from his face when the image on his screen cleared and started to move.

Within seconds, the signal improved enough for Eddie to see his wife. Tears stained her face, her eyes were red and puffy and her hair was falling out of a loose bun at the back of her head. Her body looked to be trembling and Eddie could see her chest quaking as she struggled to take proper breaths.

"Baby what's the matter?" Eddie squinted at the screen before another realisation hit him like a truck and sent his heart reeling in his chest. "Where are you?"

"The hospital," (Y/n) finally dragged her eyes up from her hands to stare at the screen and the moment she saw Eddie, a floodwave of tears drenched her face and a horrible sob bubbled past her lips.

For the last two days she had been crying and screaming his name like it was the only thing she could understand. To finally have him on screen in front of her, able to talk to her was too much to handle. She just wanted him home, and there was no way to get that wish and have her husband's arms wrapped around her or his voice in her ear or his lips on her burning skin.

She couldn't have any of it.

"Why, what's happened?" Eddie had spoken to her only a few days ago and she had been fine. A little under the weather, but nothing to warrant going to the hospital. They had moved location and now they were set up here, Eddie had been able to schedule another video call today. "Is it the baby?"

He didn't want to ask. He didn't want to ask that question in case the answer was yes and he wasn't mentally prepared for the outcome.

"I… oh Eddie… I've had the baby." (Y/n) swiped her sleeve along her eyes and beneath her nose, but it didn't help the sob she let out.

She hated the way Eddie paled like all the colour was being drained from him and he started to shake his head in denial.

She couldn't have.

How could she of had their baby now- already? She was twenty-eight weeks pregnant. Not thirty-eight or forty. She was six months along, nowhere near ready to give birth or be at risk of labour. Eddie had told her he would be home before she went into labour. He promised to be there to hold her hand and coax her through it and hold their baby when they were born.

"You, no. No- how? What happened?!"

"My water broke w-when I was with your mum… they tried to stop it, but… but, I had him last night."

(Y/n) didn't have all the answers Eddie wanted. She didn't know why it happened or exactly how it happened. One moment she was feeling sick while at his parent's house, then the next, her stomach clenched and she realised she was sat in a pool of water.

She was given medication and put on observation to see if labour would stop, but it only held off for one day. She went back into labour yesterday afternoon and by eight o'clock in the evening, she had a baby boy snatched from her arms and taken away from her. And all (Y/n) could do was scream out for Eddie throughout it all until she passed out.

It would have been some sort of comfort to have Eddie on the laptop like this, just to have him aware and somewhat present was all (Y/n) wanted. But she couldn't have him in any sense of the word.

"Him? It's a boy?" Tears pooled in Eddie's eyes and began to fall down his face as he held the Ipad closer as if it would help him inspect his wife. "Is… is he okay?"

A quiet noise vibrated at the back of Eddie's throat when (Y/n) moved the laptop further back so she wasn't as close to the screen. She could see Eddie's eyes zoom in on her stomach and his lips curled down at the corners like he was going to howl when he saw the change in shape. She still has something of a bump, but it was different now. And with (Y/n)'s arms wrapped around her waist, it cemented the fact that Eddie had missed it.

He missed the birth of his son. He missed being there for his wife when she was in agony and needed comfort and reassurance. Eddie missed everything.

"We have a boy. He's in the neonatal ward… but I can't hold him. H-he's only four pounds." She could see the relief in Eddie's eyes and it made her cry harder.

He dreaded the thought that their baby didn't make it.

"Oh God. Mi amor, I'm so sorry… I- fuck I can't even come home and hold you. I'll try and video every day I swear. Will they let you stay with him? Is someone there with you, has ma stayed with you?" The thought of (Y/n) being there on her own sent Eddie reeling.

If she was alone he would go mad. He would message both his sisters and his mum and demand someone go down and stay with his wife. He wouldn't have her being on her own for a minute when she's just had the most stressful event of her life.

"Your mum's sitting with him, she won't leave me." (Y/n) was relieved to have Eddie's family right around the corner. She was grateful to have been with his parents when this happened and for his mum never leaving her side.

She took (Y/n)'s hand, she let her scream and cry and say Eddie's name until she was blue in the face. She had done everything she could, and now she was watching over her grandson while (Y/n) had a moment alone to explain everything to Eddie.

"Good."

"Eddie, t-they couldn't find a vein, God his skin… skin is like paper. The canula is, is in his head."

(Y/n) watched the way Eddie grimaced and almost gagged at the thought.

Their boy was so small that they couldn't find a vein anywhere to give him his fluids and medication. His skin was as thin and fragile as paper and they couldn't put the canula in his hand, his arm, his leg or even his foot. They had managed to find a vein on the top of his head that was prominent enough to push the needle into and it made (Y/n) want to scream.

She had never seen one in a newborn's head before.

"Ooh, baby." Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose but it didn't stop the tears from falling. "I'll be home with you soon, you'll see. I swear, I'm never leaving either of you again."

***

Eddie tipped his head forward and let the water trickle through his hair and hit the back of his neck. He could feel his skin shivering and prickling at the lukewarm water draining down over his back and pooling around his feet.

He leaned his head down a little further until his lips were smothering the top of Chris's head.

He had his son curled up against his chest, his small head resting just below Eddie's neck against his collar bone. He had one arm across Chris's legs and the other curled around the back of his neck with his fingers spread across Chris's back to keep his son steady and stable on his chest.

Droplets splashed up against Eddie's shoulder and the bottom of his chin when Chris began bashing his fist down against Eddie's chest and making little gurgling sounds.

"Is that better?" He murmured quietly against the top of Chris's head while he began swaying from left to right. Moving the stream of water over each shoulder while he kept his head leant forward so the water didn't pelt down on Chris too much and overpower him.

It was strange to think that Chris was three months old when he was the exact look, size and weight of a baby that could have been born yesterday.

Eddie didn't like it.

He didn't like looking down at his son and knowing that he had missed the first three months of his life. Eddie didn't like the thought of people coming up to him, asking how old his son was and having to explain he was already three months old. It wasn't right. Chris shouldn't have been born so soon.

He shouldn't still be struggling to breathe and coughing into Eddie's neck like this after recovering from an infection. He was too small and fragile for any of this.

"Come on then little man, back to bed." Eddie turned off the shower and shook the water free from his hair before he stepped out the shower.

He hadn't planned on getting a wash this late into the night, but when he went to settle Chris and found him coughing, Eddie figured it might help. The warm water and condensed steam might help settle Chris and make him breathe easier and it seemed to have worked.

It had tired Eddie out too and he felt like he might be able to get a proper night's sleep now.

Eddie had been home three days before the hospital said Chris could come home. Part of him was pleased he was home before Chris was discharged from the hospital, it meant the first night having him home, Eddie was here. He could help (Y/n) waking up in the night with Chris and seeing him in his cot and giving him his bottles.

But he knew it had been a struggle for (Y/n), she had been living down at the hospital while Eddie had been praying for time to speed up so his tour could end and he could go home.

"Let's find mummy."

He began to hum quietly as he tilted Chris down so he could wrap a towel around him and settle him in the crook of his left arm. He kept his arm moving up and down to rock Chris while he quickly dried his hair and ran the towel briefly over his frame. It took some effort to wiggle his way into his boxers with one hand and drag them up over his hips, but he managed it.

A soft smile pulled at Eddie's lips when he headed into his and (Y/n)'s room and his eyes found his wife. She was asleep. Just where Eddie had left her when he went to settle Chris and subsequently get a shower with him.

He eased Chris down on the bed and moved to find a nappy and onesie. His tongue poked between his teeth as he carefully wiggled Chris's legs and arms into the onesie and buttoned it up the middle. Eddie wasn't the best at getting him dressed, but he was certainly starting to get better.

He was happy to be doing this now, with Chris grown to be the normal, perfect size for a newborn. Eddie wouldn't want to of been a nurse changing the tinny, obscure size nappies when Chris had been born. He had seen Chris plenty of times over zoom calls with (Y/n) and the photos she had taken for him. It was strange to think such a small, fragile, wrinkled infant was the boy who was now in his arms.

"Okay, there we go." Eddie loved the tired yawn Chris made and the way it crinkled his button nose.

When he carefully picked Chris up, Eddie held him close and looked over to (Y/n)'s side of the bed.

Suddenly, he didn't want to put Chris down in the cot near (Y/n).

He wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to. Eddie shook his head and carefully sat down in bed. He shuffled the pillow higher behind him and reclined down until he was slanted at an angle and drew the cover over his lower half.

He eased Chris up and snuggled him onto his chest, watching the way Chris coiled his arms up to his chest and his knees pulled up near his tummy as he laid on his front on Eddie's chest. The weight was comforting. The slight compression down on his ribs and the strain it put on his lungs to try and take deeper breaths. It made Eddie's mind settle and did something to relax him.

He wound his arms over his chest, resting one hand on the back of Chris's head and the other hand on his lower back, snuggling close. He kissed the top of his head before he leaned back into his pillow and started to glide his thumb up and down the back of Chris's head.

Eddie couldn't find the will to turn the lamp off or close his eyes yet, so he focused on trailing his thumb up and down the back of Chris's head and watching his boy take big, snuffly breaths.

Something shuddered down Eddie's spine and made his chest quiver when he glided his thumb across the left side of Chris's temple.

His scar.

By the time Eddie came home, the canula had been removed from Chris's head, much to (Y/n)'s relief. But Eddie had seen it on video calls and in pictures. It had been a horrid sight. A needle right into his skin, kept in place with tape and pinned to the side of his temple so he couldn't scratch it or pull it out.

"I'm here now. I've got you."

Eddie groggily opened his eyes when he felt something tickle across his chin and glide up the side of his jaw. His eyes couldn't focus for a second or two when they opened, but when his vision focused, his sights set on (Y/n).

Her lips pressed against his bare shoulder and her fingers dragged along his jaw before she laid her arm over his collar bone. He could feel her shuffling up and gluing her front against his left side.

(Y/n) winced when Eddie lifted his upper chest and shoulders up from the bed and his spine made a loud crack as it slotted back into place.

"How long have you held him?" Her voice was quiet against his shoulder and her hand reached to cup the side of his neck.

She could see Chris settled comfortably in the middle of Eddie's chest and both his hands tightened around Chris as if to make sure he was still safe and settled.

"A while."

All night.

He had been laid on his back, slightly propped up against the pillows, all night. With his baby boy right on his chest where he should be.

***

A smile graced (Y/n)'s lips when she walked into the living room and looked over at the sofa. Placing her drink down on the side table, she tiptoed to the sofa and slowly perched down beside Eddie.

He was slouched in the corner, both knees bent out to the sides with his legs spread wide. His right elbow was propped up on the armrest with his hand curled into a fist and his cheek smushed up against his fist, stopping his head from flopping down and hurting his neck. His shoulders were slumped down, his left arm was laid on his thigh and his eyes were closed.

He hadn't been asleep for long, but he had managed to nod off despite the noise circulating through his parent's house.

His parents were making a ruckus in the kitchen trying to prepare dinner, both his sisters and their partners were moving inside and out into the garden and music was playing in the background. And yet, Eddie still managed to fall asleep.

(Y/n) slowly curled her hands around Eddie's bicep and leaned her head against his shoulder while she looked to see what was on tv. She heard Eddie mumble something and groan, but he didn't move.

She leaned her chest up against his arm and slung her left leg over Eddie's thigh until she was practically lying on top of him.

A round of coughing caught (Y/n)'s attention and her eyes darted to the right and locked on Chris.

He had been suffering with a chest infection for over two weeks now, and he was still croaky. Antibiotics took the edge off and an inhaler helped to get him breathing properly for a while, but then the coughing came back. (Y/n) had been giving him two baths a day with salts and vapour drops in the water to try and get the steam into his lungs to clear them.

Her eyes followed Chris as he toddled over, his glasses almost falling off the edge of his nose. His arms were stretched out in front of him and he planted his hands down on Eddie's thighs the moment he reached him.

The four-year-old whacked his hands against Eddie's inner thighs enough to make him groan and stir him awake.

Eddie blinked slowly and huffed, lifting his head off his hand just as Chris used his upper strength to pull himself up onto his dad's lap. Once he was up, Chris scraped his hands against Eddie's arms and flopped forward onto Eddie's chest causing him to grunt.

"Hi buddy." Leaning his head back on the sofa, Eddie closed his eyes again while he moved his hands under Chris's arms and pulled him up higher. He settled Chris down on his chest, with his head on Eddie's shoulder and his arms loosely draped around his neck.

When Chris started to cough, he pressed his lips into Eddie's shirt, over his chest and closed his eyes tight. He felt Eddie's hand rub up and down his back and his lips pressing to the top of his head.

"Deep breaths, that's it." Eddie opened his eyes and glanced down at the watch on his wrist. "Let's get you some medicine… do you want a drink?" His head turned towards (Y/n) and he pecked her lips when she nodded. It was about time for Chris to have some more medicine and Eddie knew his parents would be done with dinner soon.

His hand cradled the back of Chris's neck, and his other arm curved around the back of his legs to keep him in place before he slowly stood to his feet.

He felt Chris nuzzle into his neck and begin taking deeper breaths while he tried to hum into his dad's neck. Eddie kept his lips pressed into Chris's temple, nudging his nose into his boy's curls as he trailed through the living room and made his way into the kitchen.

"Okay, here we go." Lifting his arms, Eddie tried to shift Chris onto his hip but the toddler wouldn't have it. His arms deadlocked around Eddie's neck and his chest glued down against Eddie's with his knees jabbed into his lower abdomen. Chris didn't want to sit on his hip, he wanted to stay curled up against Eddie's chest.

This was how his dad always held him and he wanted to stay like this. Eddie held Chris with one arm and reached out to grab the Calpol, struggling to get the medicine in the syringe with one hand so he didn't have to put Chris down.

"Take this, buddy."

Chris didn't object and took the medicine gladly before Eddie started to pour two glasses of wine.

He felt his mother's hand on his back and Eddie smiled, trying to liven himself up a bit more. His head turned to the right to watch his mother move round and stand beside him, but he watched her narrow her eyes when she noticed Chris curled up in his arms.

"He can walk on his own, Eddie." Her voice was soft but her words and her tone was chiding. It was as if she thought Eddie was doing something wrong by carrying Chris like this.

"I know."

Eddie nodded nonchalantly and took a large swig of wine before he curled his fingers around the stems of both glasses. He turned to face his mother, his son in one arm and the glasses in his other hand. He wasn't stopping Chris from walking. He and (Y/n) had been trying hard to get Chris walking on his own, especially when it was such a struggle to get him standing on his own two feet and able to shuffle around.

Since he was two, Chris had mostly been crawling and shuffling on his bum rather than walking. His cerebral palsy made it harder for him to hold his balance and standing was a struggle.

Eddie didn't want to stop his progress or carry him everywhere, but he was sick. And if Chris wanted to be carried or cuddled or lay on Eddie's chest, then Eddie certainly wasn't going to object.

"He's a bit big to be carrying around." She rested her hand on Eddie's arm but he shook his head and pulled away.

"No he's not." His shoulders shrugged and he pursed his lips as he looked down from his mother to his son. "He's my little man, I can carry him anywhere if he wants me to."

Spinning on his heels, Eddie passed back down through the hall and back into the living room where (Y/n) was sat just as he'd left her. He let her take both glasses from his hand before he turned and slowly eased back down beside her, trying not to jostle Chris too much on his chest.

He felt Chris shimmy on his chest again, curling up with his knees into his chest and his arms left Eddie's neck to wrap around his chest instead. Eddie pressed his hand down on Chris's back before he curled his left arm out and wrapped it around (Y/n). He reeled her into his side with her head on his shoulder so his lips could attach to the top of her head.

His son would never be too old to be carried or to lay on Eddie's chest.

#eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz imagine #eddie diaz #eddie x reader #imagine #911 imagine

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sun-and-moon-mushroom · 3 months

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Ok so — Luo Binghe is happily living his life with his husband, all their problems have been sorted out, the human and demon realms are at peace… and then one morning he wakes back up at the base of Cang Qiong, a child again, on the day he was first accepted as a disciple by Shen Qingqiu. He doesn’t know how to get back to his original timeline, or even if it’s possible, but while he’s here… maybe he can make sure things between him and Shen Qingqiu go better this time around?

SQQ doesn’t like him initially, something he’s sort of forgotten over the years, preferring to think of happier times instead. He doesn’t get tea poured on him though, which is his first improvement, and he isn’t kicked out of the disciple dormitories either. Even his first cultivation manual is a copy that’s less damaged than he originally got!

(SJ still doesn’t like LBH much, but unlike the first time around, he doesn’t have a reason to specifically hate him. Instead, he just sees him as something of a sycophant, at least at first — cunning and ambitious, but loyal enough).

LBH manages to get the job of making food for SQQ again, which means he’s spending a lot more time around the bamboo house than he ever did before his shizun had that strange qi deviation, and it’s giving him the chance to see a side of SQQ he never saw before. He can still see the similarities between this one and his husband — they share a tendency for cutting critique, embarrassment over being seen enjoying something outside their role as Peak Lord, and a fondness for sweet snacks. They’re still very different though, and LBH slowly finds himself falling in love with this version of SQQ as well.

Being closer to SQQ also lets him see his interactions with the other peak lords — especially YQY and LQG, and their relationships are so different from what he’s become used to. He knows that SQQ apparently lost some memories during that qi deviation, since he apparently forgot whatever caused him to hate LBH in the first place, since he’s never been able to explain why to him — but he really must have lost a lot to forgive people that he so clearly doesn’t get along with. Sure, part of LBH is glad that LQG isn’t a romantic competitor any more, but that’s no excuse to be rude to his shizun!

Keeping this in mind, LBH decides to try and avoid that qi deviation that changed SQQ so much. The first time it happened, it was a blessing, but this time, it would erase this other version of SQQ that he’s only just getting to know. So he manages to convince SQQ to teach him how to treat qi deviations.

(SJ goes along with it, because it seems more convenient for him, even if he has to read up on some of the theory in order to teach it).

When Sha Hualing invades, LBH is ready — and when SQQ shows up with injuries he didn’t have the first time, LBH is willing to stand up and take on the first fight against the one-armed demon. Instead, SQQ fights the demon who covered his armour in Without-A-Cure, winning easily. Liu Qingge shows up, just as he did the first time, and that’s where things go wrong — when everyone is distracted by his appearance, the defeated demon charges at SQQ, almost getting him poisoned, if LBH hadn’t thrown himself between them.

(SJ was only just able to save LQG due to his better knowledge of qi deviation treatment, but he still ended up getting injuries in the process, and they hadn’t fully healed yet).

LBH wakes up a day later, in the side room of the bamboo house again, still dusty and filled with storage boxes. He’s met by a Qian Cao disciple who explains that, even though the poison ended up not being Without-A-Cure, he still needed time to fight it off, and qi infusions from a stronger cultivator — like his shizun. After they leave, SQQ comes in and asks if LBH knew he was part demon.

(SJ grew suspicious when LBH was so willing to sacrifice himself, and investigated, confirming the poison was actually Without-A-Cure, but he didn’t tell Qian Cao that. From the way he just fell ill from it, he knows that LBH must be only part-demon, although he doesn’t know how much, or if he knew if the poison would affect him or not).

LBH pretends he didn’t, drawing on his memories of the first time he learnt about his heritage, and it seems to convince SQQ. He tells him that he can stay in the sect, but only as long as he can hide his heritage — and if he decides to learn demonic cultivation, he should come to SQQ instead of seeking out any strange old masters who claim they’ll show him the route to power.

(SJ rationalises this as just a way to pay back the debt for LBH saving him from Without-A-Cure, and also a potential way to test out some of the theories about demonic cultivation. Over the next few days, he doesn’t get the chance to sleep, between the chaos resulting from the demon invasion, and the presence of LBH so close to where he sleeps. One day, just before LBH is meant to go back to the dorms, he finds himself collapsing onto his bed out of exhaustion. Rather than the nightmares he’s become used to, all his dreams are peaceful.)

Sleeping closer to him, LBH can now slip into SQQs dreamscape to take a look. The SQQ he married had strange dreams, absurd really, that mix things he’s never heard of with reality (what is a ‘microwave’ and what is it doing in his kitchen???), but this one has nightmares. Even from just a few glimpses, he can tell why SQQ might have wanted to forget those memories, to pretend they didn’t exist, so he pushes them away and replaces them with happier memories instead. A few days of peaceful dreams later, SQQ tells him he can stay in the side room, because ‘it will make cooking easier’.

(SJ still isn’t really sure what to think of LBH although he’s slowly starting to care about him — very against his will)

The Immortal Alliance Conference is coming up, and LBH has a difficult decision to make. He doesn’t exactly want to go back to the Abyss but… if Tianlang-jun gets free again, won’t his plan to unite the realms be the same? If he can find his way into the Abyss and claim Xin Mo before LBH does… no, it’s better for him to take it, to hide it away somewhere. Xin Mo may be considered lost, but there are still stories about where it could be found, some of which he knows to be accurate.

(SJ isn’t sure why his new head disciple seems so worried about the Conference, he’s sure he’ll do fine — he’ll even bet on it, and get some money out of all that work training him that he put in. It’s just a simple competition — what could go wrong?)

#svsss #svsss au #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #shen jiu #bingjiu #but it’s bingmei #scum villains self saving system #scum villain self saving system #scum villain

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fbfh · 11 months

Text

curiosity is a wonderful thing - chapter 1

wc: 2k

genre: slice of life, slow burn, best friends to lovers

pairing: slowburn best friend ben! x fem daughter of alice!reader, current audrey x ben

warnings: audrey being a bitch, unnecessary amounts of tea, ben being ben, mildly implied nd reader

summary: after a junior royal council meeting, you hype up your best friend Ben to tell his parents about his plans for his first proclaimation as king.

song recs: main titles 1 2 & 3 - descendants score/david lawrence, cheshire kitten (we're all mad here) - sj tucker

a/n: THE NEW SERIES IS HERE!!!! I am so excited for this, it's been one of my comfort indulgence daydreams for the longest time so I'm really elated to share it with y'all. BIG FAT FANGZ TO CICI FOR BETA READING!!!!!! and fangz to you guys for reading!!!!! I hope you enjoy lol <333 have an optional outfit. as a treat.

tags @dustyinkpages @demirunner @strawberry-cake1 @kiara7777 @yesv01 @magcon7280

Audrey was shocked when Ben had first told her that you and he weren't dating. She knew that you were friends, best friends at that. Everyone in Auradon did. Everyone also knew that what you had between you couldn't possibly be just platonic, not with the way you look at each other, how much time you spend together, or how intimately you speak to each other. It’s like you have your own language.

Everyone in Auradon knows this, with the exception of you and Ben, apparently. Even now, in the middle of a junior royal council meeting, Aziz shares a pitying look with Herkie at the way Audrey holds onto Ben’s arm while he goes over the agenda. Neither of them miss the way her gaze flicks between you two, trying to see if you’re stealing glances. You’re seated at his right hand side, like you usually are, as he goes over the last few items on the agenda for the meeting today and try to pay as much attention as you can. You scribble in your notebook as he does, nibbling at a tea biscuit and trying not to miss any of the important bits.

“...Facing a longstanding struggle to keep up with the increased demand of the textile industry,” Ben says, skimming through his papers. He glances up, and he knows no one is really paying attention except for you. “Looking to open up a- a more collaborative process of dialog with key workers in the textile industry, and unified front between all the major groups who paved the way to textiles as we know them today, while also compensating for the rise in automation.”

Across the table, Chad yawns. Lonnie and Melody pass notes between them, at least attempting to be subtle about it. You listen to Ben continue to update everyone on the ongoing current events in Auradon, and your pen drifts away from taking notes as you do, and begins to scribble little shapes in the margins of your well loved notebook. Your other hand moves down under the table, adjusting your pale blue skirt and tugging at the elastic of your black and white striped stockings. Ben’s gaze flicks over to you as you adjust in your seat, tugging at the puffy sleeves of your white blouse a moment later. He can tell you’re starting to get fidgety, which means it’s about time to wrap all this up. Plus, he has a suit fitting in ten minutes that he can’t be late for, or else Lumier will probably char something by accident.

“Negotiations are still in progress, and of course, we’re looking for any way possible to avoid an embargo. I think that’s the last thing anyone needs…” Ben trails off with a chuckle, only to be met with silence. He looks back at his paper, trying to find his place before the silence gets anymore awkward. Before he can, he hears you let out a puff of air in agreement.

“That’s quite an understatement.” You smile up at him, catching his eye before you each return to your respective papers. Your Wonderlandian accent is comforting, like a familiar friend in a tough crowd. People have described your accent many ways, most concluding it’s somewhere between british and transatlantic, but you don’t think you have much of an accent at all. Ben says you do, and you trust his judgment on the topic. Audrey maintains a tight smile on her face as Ben gently frees his arm from her to look through his papers in more detail. Once he’s sure he’s not missing anything, he goes through the usual motions of wrapping up a junior council meeting.

“All party planning committee members are welcome to hang back, the floor is yours,” He says to Audrey, gathering up all his papers with a smile. “Everyone else, thank you for your time as always, and have a good evening.”

Ben heads to the door as people start to funnel out and make conversation. Audrey waits as the other people on the party planning committee move up the table to sit closer to her, glancing at you as you put your notebook, pens, notes, and teacup back into that teapot shaped bag you always carry. It’s enchanted with Wonderland magic, and it makes her uneasy. She thinks you should just get a tote bag, or backpack, like a normal person.

“Bunny,” Ben calls from the doorway, getting your attention with the nickname he’s had for you for years. Her train of thought quickly turns away from bags as you look over, noticing it’s time to go and scurrying over to him. She watches you both talk quietly and head to wherever you’re going next, trying to ignore the quiet, burning jealousy seeping up into her. It’s nothing new, she reminds herself. She knew you two were best friends when she got together with her Bennyboo, so she knew what she was signing herself up for.

“Are we ready?” She asks curtly, turning towards Jane. She refuses to spend another second worrying about you, and instead, she channels all her energy into sifting through streamer sample colors. Whatever you two are doing can’t be as important as this. She’s sure whatever you’re discussing right now during Ben’s suit fitting is just meaningless small talk. Nothing of any importance.

“I… truly don’t think you could have picked a better, more impactful first proclamation, Ben.” You conclude with a sip of raspberry tea. A wave of relief washes through him as he pulls on the blue suit jacket for Lumier to tailor.

“You think so? Because, I-I’m only going to get to do this once, and-”

He’s cut off by you nodding solemnly.

“What better way to pave the way to the future than mending rifts of the past?” You ask rhetorically.

“Yes!” Ben exclaims, letting his hands fall to his sides with a smile, a gesture you mirror. “You get it…”

“Of course.” You smile at him, and it’s quiet for a moment as you take another sip of your tea. “You know your parents will…” You begin, but Ben is already nodding.

“Oh yeah.” He agrees. “I wrote down everything from the pros column, and ideas for everything in the cons.”

“Good,” you say, encouragingly.

“And I have a great mission statement.” He adds, and you can see him getting fired up. You know how much this means to him, how much of his heart he’s putting into helping as many people as possible and being a good king to everyone, even the citizens on the Isle. If you know Ben - and you’re sure you do by now - you know how he can start to overthink things right before a presentation, even an informal one. He’s as prepared as he’ll ever be, and you have his back. He knows this.

“Oh, I meant to ask,” you say breezily as Lumier enters, “how are things going with Audrey?”

You wiggle your eyebrows at him, sending him a comically scandalous look. He laughs as you wave hello to Lumier, and you think it’s the first time he’s relaxed in the last 30 hours or so. You flip through your journal, selecting a few pictures you took recently of flora in Wonderland, doodling their leaves and stalks on a mostly blank page. He laughs, hanging his head at the unexpected nature of the question, and Lumier pulls out a tape measure to begin the alterations of Ben’s suit.

“You’re really- we’re really going to go there?” He asks through a smile. You look up at him, nodding.

“Mhm.” You confirm. He can’t say no to you, he never can.

“Okay. Uh, yeah things are good. With me and Audrey.”

“Good,” you smile, looking up from your paper. He wonders what you’re working on, and always looks forward to seeing your little drawings. Even the ones you dislike, he finds beautiful. He tries to think of what else is going on with Audrey.

“We, uh… we have a date later this week.”

“Sleeve.” Lumier interjects, moving Ben’s arm.

“Oh, how fun!” You smile.

“Head.” Lumier turns Ben to look out the large windows. He thinks for another moment, struggling to find anything else Audrey related to talk about as you distract yourself with the expression of a pouting mushroom you’d gotten a good picture of last time you were in Wonderland. Before he can think of anything else his eyes land on the Isle. His mind wanders toward how forgotten everyone out there must feel. You look up at him, following his gaze.

“I know.” You say softly. You’ve discussed the Isle and its’ residents at great lengths, both finding a greater deal of compassion for them than most people seem to have.

“How is it possible that you’re going to be crowned king next month?” Comes King Adam’s booming voice as he and Belle enter from the patio doors.

“Hello, dear,” Belle smiles at you, resting a hand on your shoulder as they pass, approaching Ben, and you smile a greeting back up at her, and begin putting away your notebook. As close as you two are, you can’t expect anyone but the royal family to be in the room during discussions of Ben’s first proclamation. Both you and Ben knew this had to be a conversation between him and his parents, and as much as you both might like it to be, it’s not really something he can do with you by his side. You scurry past him, sending him an encouraging look.

“You’ll do great.” You say, your voice just low enough for him to hear it. You touch his arm encouragingly until Lumier shoos you away, not wanting anything to jeopardize the way he finally got Ben’s shoulder to lay on that side. Ben locks eyes with you as you leave. It’s only a moment, but those three words, that one little gesture from you have him more ready than ever. He prepares himself with a breath.

You’ll probably sneak off to Wonderland for a while, like you usually do with any pockets of spare time you find, so you’ll get to update him on the feud going on between the bluebirds and inchworms by the time he’s done. He takes comfort in that, knowing that even in the worst case scenario, even if everything goes horribly wrong, you’ll still have some fascinating Wonderland stories for him, just like you always do. He finds great comfort in the thought as his parents approach, and knows two things; it’s time for him to begin stepping up, and that you have his back all the way.

You close the heavy wooden door behind you, walking a few feet down the hall so you don’t accidentally eavesdrop. You sit down against the wall to wait for Ben, and your mind drifts to Wonderland, as it so often does. There’s a peace there, something you’ve never been able to find overland. It calls to you, like a sailor’s heart calls to the sea. You wonder if you have time for a quick trip, just a few minutes in paradise, but you know it’s never really just a few minutes. Time works differently in Wonderland than it does in overland, and it’s unpredictable. The last thing you want is not to be here when Ben is done talking to his parents.

“I’d better not…” you sigh. Being here for Ben is more important right now. He’s your best friend. So you settle into your little spot in the hallway, smoothing out your blue skirt around you. You reach into your teapot shaped bag, pulling out a small white porcelain teacup with little violets on it, and a matching saucer. You think for a moment about what kind of tea you want right now. Hibiscus, you decide, with a touch of honey. You tilt the spout of your bag, letting the perfectly brewed cup of tea fall from the spout. You take a sip, leafing through your homework to see what you can bore yourself with to pass the time. You don’t know how long Ben will be in there, and you don’t care too much. You’re sure he’ll do wonderfully, and that’s really all you care about right now.

#descendants #descendants fanfiction #descendants x reader #ben florian #ben florian x reader #ben florian fanfiction #daughter of alice!reader #it's gonna get so good #I love me a good canon compliant fic lmao #curiosity is a wonderful thing

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saintone · 10 months

Text

So, recently, I received the last book of SVSSS saga, and I instantly jumped to read, once again, Shen Jiu’s story chapter. And, oh boy. I’ve got things to say.

Spoiler’s ahead!!!!

Something I notice about MXTX’s writing is that, in a very subtle manner, their narrator's way of telling the story changes based on whose character's pov it is, so we can guess that the book’s narrator isn’t omniscient, but it’s actually a character’s inner voice. which isn’t anything new, as many users have pointed out that Shen Yuan isn’t a very reliable narrator, and some things of the books that are told from his pov don’t match with reality (the easiest example I can say is when sy and lgh reencounter after the eternal abyss. sy interpret’s lbg’s ‘dark gaze’ as his vengeful desire when actually half of the time he’s just being horny lol).

Something else I’ve noticed repeatedly, and kinda made me uncomfortable is sy’s portrayal of female disciples. Based on his belief that og!sqq preyed on his disciples, sy takes the liberty to make very perverted assertions that stay on the fictional side due to his fear of facing a similar ending as the one of the original goods. quoting some real phrases from the book:

“This was because he had designs on Ning Yingying—ah, no, more like the original Shen Qingqiu had designs on Ning Yingying!” (p. 34, first book).

“One can, however, imagine the result of daring to try to get a taste of the male lead’s woman!” (p. 35).

Or his description of the fight between Liu Mignyan and Sha Hualing:

“Every man dreamed of being caught between an angel and a devil. To watch them jealously vile for each other over him one moment, then risk life and limb for his sake in the next — that was the highest, most sacred, perverted fantasy of every male organism” (p. 112).

These aren’t the words of a neutral, omniscient narrator: these are Shen Yuan’s own thoughts. And he is a very perverted guy: it makes sense, as he was an avid reader of PIDW.

Following the conclusion that the narrator varies on the character’s pov, Shen Jiu’s story takes on a new meaning. Because all of the words in Chapter 24 are Shen Jiu’s own.

The Part 1 of the story starts with Shen Jiu on the streets, until Shiwu goes missing, and Yue Qi goes searching for him, with Sj following. The change to Part 2, which starts directly in the Qi mansions, is kinda abrupt. There are many reasons for something like this.

On one side, we can interpret that the story starts with Sj in the Qi mansions, and he was reflecting on his life to gauge how he ended up there. The sudden jump of events, which leaves us with a gap in information, can be due to trauma, or confusion: Sj isn’t entirely sure of what happened. That’s why this chapter is wholly written as a recount of events, from a man who, perhaps, needed to learn how to write and read to be able to put words to his life and story.

Shen Jiu’s reflections are born from his pain. At the end of Part 2, we get an explanation of how he ended in the Qi mansion:

“Shiwu should have been trampled to death, trampled into minced meat for thousands to spit upon. Qi-ge should have never gone back to save him [...]

As Shen Jiu suffered through day after day of torment, he turned those sweet yet futile thoughts over and over again in his mind, drawing strength and comfort from them” (p. 90, fourth book).

This phrase is very powerful. I think that, as Shen Jiu suffers, he reflects more on his life until now, on the reasons that guided him there, on the actions of those around him, and on the path they should’ve followed.

He wasn’t like that in Part 1. Even as a slave, he doesn't reflect on his pain or suffering because he was pretty much the top game among slave boys, and as Yue Qi says, “the other party would be the one to end up suffering and bawling in terror” (p. 82).

It’s also very meaningful how Part 3 starts:

“Shen Jiu thought a lot about why Yue Qi never returned to look for him” (p. 90).

Yess, right after Sj thinks that Yq should never’ve returned to look for Shiwu. Coincidence? I don’t think so!

Sj says “go back to save him”, but the one who actually saves them both, Shiwu and Yq, is Sj.

The question here is, does Shen jiu regret saving yue qi? Or is he afraid, as we see at the beginning of Part 3, that yue qi learned his lesson, and won’t come back to save a kid that could betray him at the end? Do you think that, after being imprisoned at the water prison, Shen Jiu considers himself a Shiwu too, betraying Yue Qingyuan and guiding the fall of the Cang Qiong Sect?

How do you think it felt for Sj to never get those answers either?

Before going foward, something very meaningful from Part 2 is Qi Jianluo’s reflections around Shen Jiu.

“As long as the boy remained obedient and honest, there would be no issues” (p. 88).

And “Humans must understand and repay kindness. Our family gave you the chance to play human, so even if it means repaying us with your life, that’s just how it should be.” (p. 89).

Who could you remember was obedient and honest? And wasn’t human?

Isn’t it awfully coincidental that the despicable way in which Qi Jianluo viewed Shen Jiu, is exactly what he tries to destroy in Luo Binghe? His honesty and obedience, his human side?

I’m not saying Sj did it intentionally, he clearly hated the boy, as stated in this chapter. But he made him the opposite of the weak, scorned version of himself.

And this is exactly what he says at the end of the chapter:

“Luo Binghe, everything you have today you owe to taking me as your master, so shouldn’t you thank me? Instead, you’re wholly unable to tell what’s good for yourself. As expected, you’re an ungrateful bastard” (p. 116).

Going forward, Part 3! Right off the bat, we have this beautiful phrase that just makes me go aghh:

“Shen Jiu even imagined walking to the ends of the earth looking for Yue Qi’s remains, and how, after finding them, he would dig him a grave with his own two hands. Perhaps he would even do his best to shed a tear” (p 90).

Let me remind you, that this is the only, single mention of crying in the whole chapter. From everything that Shen QingQiu has gone through, he has only thought of crying in the face of Yue Qi’s potential death.

He doesn’t cry when he receives the remains of Xuan Su, though. Because “This was not Yue Qi but Yue Qingyuan (p. 94).

Then, Shen Jiu puts it into words:

“Some people were rotten from birth. Shen Jiu thought of himself in exactly this way — someone vile and poisonous [ejem, like Shiwu, whose presence brought misfortune to his literal savior] from the start. Because, at that instant, he came to a crystal-clear realization:

That he’d rather have met a Yue Qi who’d died in some unknown corner, his remains unsightly and forgotten, than a Yue Qingyuan who was elegant and powerful, his prospects and future boundless” (p. 95).

This is exactly what I said before when I mention that Sj reflection’s starts from his pain, and his pain is born in the Qi household. Before, as a slave boy, Shen Jiu was actually the happiest. And that’s why he’d rather have a dead Yue Qi than an alive Yue Qingyuan: because he was still Shen Jiu, and he would be Shen Jiu until his death.

It’s right then and there, that Shen Jiu decides there’s something inevitably wrong in him, that he’s poisonous, scornful, and hateful.

And that word marks his future in Cang Qiong:

Part 4: “Shen Jiu hated far too many and far too many things” (p. 95).

But then, we get this phrase:

“I may be a hateful thing for most people, but luckily the Qing Jing Peak Lord doesn't despise me” (p. 99)

Is Shen QingQiu hateful, or is he hated?

Also, “thing”. He’s a hateful thing. So he’s still not human.

Changing topics, on page 100, we get to see a new side of Shen Jiu: his reflection on the women of the Red Pavilion. I think it’s very interesting to compare it with Sy’s considerations of women.

“Liking women wasn’t the least shameful, but treating women like saviors, cowering within their embrace and seeking courage from them... even without anyone saying it, Shen Qingqiu knew that was horrendously shameful”

From his wording, I don’t think Sj thinks badly of women: he thinks badly of himself. He considers that a man should be able to protect others, not be protected. The “horrendously shameful” thing is himself, and his pain.

And what’s really meaningful is when he says: “even without anyone saying it”. Because it shows us that many things Shen Jiu knows were taught by others' words. Because he was a slave boy, with no education of the noble, or even human ways (as slaves aren’t considered people), and everything he gathers of life he is constantly learning from others.

So of course he is hateful, and of course, he doesn’t get along with others: he hasn’t learned how to (and how big of a coincidence is it that Shen Yuan, who’s from a wealthy family, is able to get along with his Martial siblings just fine?).

Shen Qingqiu also knows that the only reason he was able to become a Peak Lord, is thanks to Qiu Jianluo’s teachings:

“In the past, Qiu Jianluo had forced Shen Jiu to learn how to read and write. Shen Jiu had been unwilling to learn, had detested it to the point of madness, yet now it was only through his abilities in reading and studying—through being smarter than his peers—that he’d been able to earn the Qing Jing Peak’s lord's favor. To make it even more laughable, of the thousands of possible names in this world, the peak lord had just happened to name him Qingqiu” (p. 101).

Doesn’t this remind you of something? I’m going to write this quote once again:

Just like Luo Binghe, Sj is where he is thanks to his abusive master. But never once does Sj regret his past:

“But no matter how laughable, no matter how it made him gnash his teeth, Shen Qingqiu still wanted that name, for this name represented that from now onward, a shining new life was his” (p. 116).

Notice the change of preposition, from “that” to “this”? That name is the Qiu name, and this name is the QingQiu name.

He is no Shen QingQiu, and no longer Shen Jiu.

“‘That name irritates me whenever I hear it. I’ve long forgotten it. So please, Zhangmen-shixiong, you should also discard it.’

[...] ‘ Then, the day you responder to it would be the day it no longer irritates you?’

[...] ‘ That would never happen’” (p. 101-102).

Shen Wingqiu wholeheartedly accepts his new name.

No matter what happened, we never see Shen QingQiu regretting his actions, neither cursing his fate. He accepts what life gives him, and he accepts his punishments.

“What’s happened has happened! I’ve already ‘considered’ it hundreds and thousands of times! There is no ‘if’, no ‘in the beginning’—, there was never any chance of redemption!” (p. 111).

And you know why that is? Because he already considered it a lot after Shiwu’s betrayal.

Shiwu should have been trampled, Yue Qi shouldn’t have gone to save him (should’ve come to save Shen Jiu). But after that experience, Shen Jiu learns that should’ve and could’ve, and would’s aren’t worth anything, because, at the end of the day, his life never goes the way it should.

And he just accepts it: “Only when I see other people unhappy can I be happy myself” (p. 112).

This quote was very strange to me because it didn’t really match Shen Jiu’s actions. We don’t see him going out of his way to make others unhappy. (Except Luo Binghe lol. He openly admits to trying to murder him).

I think the situation was quite the opposite: It was when Shen Qingqiu was happy, that others were unhappy: when he was in the Warm Red Pavillion, others were unhappy. When he was with his female disciples, others were unhappy. When he succeeded as a disciple and became Peak Lord, others were unhappy. And when he was a slave, living alongside Yue Qi in the streets, he now believes Yue Qingyuan was unhappy too.

Shen QingQiu’s happiness came with the price of others’ happiness, and that’s why he comes to accept that he prefers others’ suffering, he accepts other’s hate.

The first time Shen Qingqiu is in the Linxhi Caves alongside Yue Qingyuan, he notices the crude markings on the walls, and asks him about it. What’s relevant of this scene is that it’s the first time Shen QingQiu is the one starting a conversation.

Before that, we always see Yue Qingyuan looking for Shen Qingqiu, talking to him, interrogating him, and a Shen Qingqiu reluctant to talk. In this scene, the opposite happens: Shen Qingqiu asks, and Yue Qingqiu ignores him.

Here we see, that in those fundamental moments that Shen Qingqiu is the one interested in something, others (Yue Qingyuan) are distant.

Last but not least, I’d like to bring some of the last lines of the chapter to light:

“He had singlehandedly created the Luo Binghe of today, but who had singlehandedly wrought this ending of Shen Qingqiu’s?

Yue Qingyuan shouldn't have met this kind of fate” (p. 117).

THIS

THIS PHRASE

Made me go ughrr oh my god.

First of all, the acceptance: like yeah, I made the devil. It came to bite me in the ass. Okey.

But does he regret that? NO! He regrets being who he is. What he is. He regrets what he became: he regrets being hated, being unhappy, he regrets being mean, not because of what it caused him, but because of the person he became.

Shen Qingqiu never, not even once feels pity for his ending, for being tortured and mutilated. He only regrets being unhappy.

And also, he blames Yue Qingyuan for it.

Because it isn’t a coincidence that after that question, he mentions Yue Qingyuan’s name. First of all is a literary resource. Second, it’s the clear association of the narrator’s mind as he builds a sequence.

He blames Yue Qingyuan for the person he became, and also blames Yue Qingyuan for not being able to avoid the person he became: he denies his cruel destiny.

Yue Qingyuan shouldn't have met this kind of fate.

Because Shen Qingqiu only ever wished for the death of Yue Qi.

This chapter’s narrator is a very sharp, and concise one. He goes from scene to scene, from thought to thought, abandoning fluency and just concentrating on a list of events. This is a reflection of Shen Jiu’s mind: a recollection of traumatic events that brutally shaped him into the man he became.

We see very little emotion, very short pieces of a sentimental being that laze themselves as puzzle pieces trying to make the shape of a deeply traumatized man.

I said it before, and I say it again: SVSSS is a masterpiece, is a book that will become a classic and be analyzed by literary critics in universities (or it should become. we can only hope).

And MXTX is one of the best current fiction writers in the world.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

#svsss #svsss novel #shen jiu #Shen Yuan #shen qingqiu #bingiu #liu qingge #liu mingyan #sha hualing #mxtx #mxtx books #mxtx characters #yue qingyuan #im not crying you are

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joys-of-everyday · 10 months

Text

The more I think about it, the cultivation world and academia are similar. High drop out rates? Reverence towards the people who 'make it to the end'? Meritocracy but not really? Age old 'talent' vs 'hard work' vs 'privilege'? Possibly just side effects of being learning institutions but yeah. Anyway, headcanons for peak lords as professors.

SQQ (SY) The chill professor everyone loves. Is often absent for months at a time doing field studies but comes back with loads of cool stories. Has a tendency to veer off course and everyone's grades may suffer because of how little time is actually spent on examinable material, but at least you'll enjoy yourself. He says he's only there for the fun and doesn't do much research, but you've spied a number of very big names going to him for advice. If you manage to make him drunk, his personality does a 180 and he complains extensively about everything, including his latest webnovel obsession.

og!SQQ (SJ) The salty professor everyone hates. Obsessed with rankings and citation counts, has a constant rivalry with LQG, and does the absolute minimum when it comes to undergrad teaching because he thinks it's a waste of time. He's convinced there's an agenda against him because he didn't get funding for the third time in a row and takes it out on the students. But damn does he know what he's talking about, and you've heard he's actually a genius, albeit one with complicated background. The few phd students he has are utterly enamored with him.

SQH Everyone forgets that he's not a student, including himself. When he teaches, it feels like he's giving a presentation and waiting for feedback. He answers questions with questions. Nobody knows what research he's doing, including the other members of department. Both Shens and LQG alike think he's a waste of space. But he seems to have some mysterious connections to a very fancy research facility up north.

LQG Absent professor. Literally cannot teach. Reads off last year's notes (written by other people) and calls it a lecture. But he's got many fancy awards under his belt for his research and the rest of the department talk about him with awe in their voice. If you take work to him, he will undoubtedly rip it to shreds, but not in a mean way. Half the students hate him. Half the students make him a meme. A few of them worship him like a god.

YQY The nice one. He teaches amazingly, heads a healthy research team, and has some banging papers under his name. The students know him as the best teacher, but behind the scenes he is literally keeping the department together. Wrangles with management and does a lot of outreach stuff on top of all of this. The students are convinced he literally lives on site because they keep seeing him at weird hours of the day. This is half true.

MQF The Professor. When you say 'professor', MQF is the person who comes to mind. The students think he is actually a robot, because they've never seen him do anything other than his job. His teaching is adequate but without personality, and he is extremely mild mannered. Unbeknownst to them, he is known as the 'mad scientist' of the department - he has a bizarre attitude to safety and often goes utterly crazy with experiments which are only just toeing regulations. A pioneer of his (somewhat niche) field.

QQQ Social justice warrior. The one who actually strikes when there's a strike on, and organises all of the diversity events. The student have mixed views on her. She struggled against a very sexist department back in her day and still gets a lot of hateful feedback, so she's learnt to take zero fucks. Which is cool but also means a lot of valid criticism gets taken as personal attacks. With all the drama, everyone seems to forget that she's actually a really big name in the field, receiving some fancy awards around the same time as LQG. Her phd group is surprisingly chill.

#svsss #svsss ideas #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #original shen qingqiu #shen jiu #shang qinghua #liu qingge #yue qingyuan #mu qingfang #qi qingqi #cang qiong mountain sect #i like to think they head different research teams in the same department so they can interact more #for funny reasons

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danmeiconfession · 5 months

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Luo Binghe is a scary motherfucker. Shen jiu could have treated this man kindly and he'd get be chased down obsessively he treated him canonically like scum and yet he can't get his shizun out of his head. Bro... I know many say it's because he's got grievances against his Shizun becauses of the mistreatment and abuse he experienced at the peak but Bingge goes way to far to even count as a victim because at the extent of the torture he did it's beyond a victim wanting justice but a maniac it's goes way past that. Who craves their teacher affection if they had Shen jiu as their instructor most would stop but he still wanted it. It can't be anyone affection it's why SY being in the original host body makes sense because it kind of traces back to a lot of issues and Shen jiu the center of that. If the system is there to grant happiness for Binghe I think lol then his desires are in SQQ. Like i've seen stories of Shen Yuan being in other character bodies but like ultimately it's not really SY kindness to the MC that sets him apart because we have countless wife characters that already fulfill the role like Ning Yingying it's not really the lack of love but really the love he wanted from the original host and Shen jiu got the boot.

Logically, Binghe is a scary dude. A whole yandere that desires his shizun like no other. I don't think Shen jiu was that dumb he's probably aware if the taunts he makes to him got his tongue ripped off. I don't think it's the abuse that made him go haywire but the fact he was always rejected by Shen jiu himself. Like the difference between SY and SJ was one accepted the affection and the other didn't.

Like people could say oh if only SJ could have treated this boy sweetly but bro he wouldn't let the dude go ever. Whether he treated this dude as scum below his feet or treated him lovingly in his arms his fate is tied to this dude because in either situation he's end up in Binghe hands regardless. Shen jiu experiences a lot of shit in the manor he was enslaved at and was sexually implied to be abused by Qiu Jian Luo who hated his disobedience. Who's to say he wasn't aware of the child attention on him and he wanted to quell that shit down.

Even when confronted with someone like Shizun, he shouldn't be overly concerned about finding a replacement, especially considering the negative memories associated with it, particularly with SQQ. If he truly harbored hatred and contempt, he wouldn't desire someone similar to take his place. However, it's possible that in the past, he admired Shizun and believed they could start anew. Typically, intense emotions like rage and revenge preclude the possibility of reconciliation, as one is repulsed by their adversary. Yet, it's conceivable that he didn't truly despise Shizun, and perhaps never harbored genuine hatred. Instead, he sought revenge against the person he loved, who had rejected him, aiming to maintain exclusive attention post-Abyss through various nefarious means. It's feasible for someone to be consumed by revenge while still harboring love for the individual, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. I wonder if the act of reducing Shizun to a mere figure might not only be to prevent escape but also to ensure he never leaves Bingge's side again.

#svsss #scumbag self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #luo binghe #scum villian self saving system #scum villain

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buckyandgeraltsupremacy · 1 year

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Not Alone Part 2 (Joel Miller x Fem!Reader)

joel miller x fem!reader

when you find yourself completely alone, you might just have to look up to realize you aren't.

warnings: mentioned death of family members; injuries; joel being mean (soft); probably typos lol

author: sj

masterlist

part one / part three

another part in the works :)

---

After your painful wonderful shower for the first time in forever, you found new clothes on the bed and went down to the kitchen to try to find something to eat. And as Maria promised, there was some food that looked like it would last you the day sitting on the counter. Your self control was ripped from you and you ended up eating the whole thing sitting on the floor.

Once the last bite of food was gone, it was then realized how utterly alone you were. You tried to take a deep breath, but couldn't seem to get your lungs to be able to work. You let yourself think about your brother for the first time. Luke wasn't supposed to go like that. Your baby brother. The only one you had left. You weren't a spring chicken any more, but you still felt like he was still a kid. You were five years older than him and he was your best friend. Not once, did you ever think he would leave your side. Much less, get bit. It all happened so fast. And all you could think about was having to shoot him with your last two bullets.

The tears streamed down your face and you got up and stumbled through the back door to get outside. The walls were closing in and you needed to get out. Ironic that the past few weeks, all you wanted was real shelter, and now that you had it, you couldn't stand it. You burst out of the back door and quickly stumble down the steps to the grass. The sobs racking your body as you mourn your life long best friend.

You don't know how long you laid there. All you know is that when the sun went down, your cheeks were dry and tight with the dried tears. You couldn't move but as you watched the sunset and the stars start to shine, you felt your lungs start to rise up and down again. You would be okay. You would have to be. You'd have to pull your weight. Even if it meant with a broken arm. It was okay that you were all alone. Others had done it, and if it was Luke, you would've wanted him to go on. He deserved to live a normal life and you would live it for him if you had to.

You sighed and rolled to your side to get up, freezing when you saw the little girl from next door sitting in a chair at the back of her house yards away from you. You mustered a smile, cheeks heating with the thought of her witnessing your grief. You waved and she waved you over. You swallowed your pride and slowly walked towards her and sat in the chair that she pointed to. What you didn't see was the man in the kitchen a few feet from the open back door that was one hundred percent eavesdropping.

"I don't think I've ever seen so many tears from one person." She said quietly, obviously trying to lighten the awkwardness.

"Well. I've been holding it in for a while, guess it was bound to come out at some point." You shrugged with one shoulder.

"What really happened to your arm?"

"Um... My brother broke it. He got infected and... yeah, just got broken in the struggle." You said, voice scratchy from your crying.

"Oh shit. Sorry. Thats... tough." Ellie said, earnestly trying to give you comfort. You nodded, grateful for her comfort, but not wanting to say it was okay, because truthfully, it wasn't.

"Ellie. Come eat." Joel yelled as he stuck his head out the back door. You jumped at the loud voice, his eyes latching onto the jumpy form.

"You can eat with us. Right Joel?" Ellie looked to Joel and she asked again, more forcefully this time. "Right Joel?"

"Yes." He said, softer, tone still hard as a rock.

"He's not as much of an asshole as he sounds. He just genuinely has an assholey voice." You smiled at her side comment to you and looked to Joel.

"If you're sure. I've already ran out of food. I won't each much I promise. Ate plenty for lunch, for the first time in... a long time." You said to him, getting up out of your chair and following Ellie into the kitchen.

Dinner went quietly, mostly filled with the sounds of silverware and Ellie asking you if you knew any puns. You quickly went home after dinner and Joel went to bed thinking about how your sobs sounded as you laid in the grass.

---

The next morning, Joel went to the stables to see if there was anything he could do around the barn. He wasn't scheduled for patrol until the next day, but needed something to do. He didn't like being home alone when Ellie was off at school learning god knows what. He knew he had to stay busy to keep his thoughts from spiraling.

As he walked into the stables and passed some of the stalls, he heard soft grunting. He slowed to a stop and peeked into the open stall the someone seemed to be in. Only to find you shoveling or attempting to shovel horse shit into a wheelbarrow. He watched as you tried to pick up the shovel that was loaded with one arm as you guided to help yourself pick it up with the arm that was not supposed to be in use. You grunted and then huffed out a frustrated sigh when it tipped and you dumped it, missing the wheelbarrow. The wheel barrowthat you wouldn't be able to carry with one arm. He wasn't quite sure why but it made him angry.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked sharply. He watched you jump and then sigh a small smile gracing your face as a greeting.

"Shoveling horse poop." You replied with a tired smile, immediately going back to trying to pick up the pile that you dumped.

"No shit sherlock." No pun intended. My god he was becoming Ellie. "I mean, why the hell are you shoveling with a broken arm? You're going to hurt yourself more." He said, walking in the stall and grabbing the shovel from your hands quickly.

"I'm trying to pull my weight. There weren't any shifts left any where and I have to get food some how. I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of starving." You said, the smile leaving your face, and being replaced by a frown, looking at the shovel in his hands. He sighed and brushed a hand down his face in what seemed like frustration.

"Look. I'll finish up for you and then we can go to the hall and grab you some breakfast, yeah? If Ellie hears that I didn't feed ya, she'll feed me my hands for dinner. And don't worry about this shit until you're better. You're not gonna get better if you don't rest it." He demanded, not looking at your face as he finished shoveling the horse feces in the stall. Your wrist giving a nice dull throb that sent you grabbing your sling from your bag and putting it back on.

You watched as he lifted up the wheelbarrow and drove it past you towards the pile, muttering to himself about how you 'couldn't even fucking lift it if ya tried'.

The next thing you knew, you were sitting in the hall with a meal in front of you, eating like you were starved. Cause you basically were. After this mornings out burst, he hadn't said much to you and had just watched you with his brown eyes studying you, creases deep on his face.

"Don't worry about meals until your wrist heals up. You come to us for it, yeah? Ellie likes you and she doesn't get many older women in her life." You nodded, a smile returning to your face. Joel's chest did that weird cracking and blew out a breath. He didn't think he had any room left in there and he had a bad feeling you were going to squeeze in any how.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller hurt/comfort #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x reader fluff #joel miller hbo #joel miller x you #the last of us

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onlymingyus · 2 years

Text

Lavender Tea & Honey

pairing; jeon wonwoo x afab reader

genre; smut (minors dni), fluff, supernatural au

warnings; protected sex, fingering, oral, use of pet names, aftercare, mention/eating food and drink, aftercare, talk of magic, use of magic

request; no

w/c; 8.6k and some change

a/n; this is written for @wonwussy/@librarian-stacks - the wonwoo to my gyu (insert all the others we have) -- happy early birthday sj. i love you very much. you are so important to me and i hope you know that. i hope you have the best day because you deserve the world. i know this isn't much but i hope that it can be a little something to transport you somewhere magical and comforting. special thanks to @junkissed/@junhui-recs, @onlyseokmins/@spookyeomie, @multi-kpop-fanfics, @bitchlessdino/@onlychans for helping me with this one. You all reading, proofreading really made the difference for this one.

divider · divider · last divider made by me · header made by me @chogiwapadada do not use, repost, or remove my watermark

“It’s a lavender tea, a bit of honey for sweetener. I know you don’t like things to be sickeningly sweet.”

You raise your brows as you take the cup and saucer from the man behind the counter, your finger slipping into the delicate handle of the porcelain cup as you palm the small saucer. Dark eyes and a slight smile watch you as you bring the cup to your lips, your expression changing as the warm liquid slides easily down your throat instantly making you feel warmer and calmer.

Wonwoo grins slightly before picking up his towel and wiping the counter as he sees the small smile cross over your lips past the dark lavender print on the cup. He always gave you this cup, it was his favorite and it fit you. You close your eyes for a moment before taking another sip letting out a happy approving sound before sitting the cup back onto the saucer looking at Wonwoo meeting his equally warm eyes that reminded you of the tea.

“It’s so good. I really like it, thank you Wonwoo.” The man watches as you balance the cup starting to take out your wallet when he holds up his hand. “On the house.” You shake your head but feel your cheeks get warm as he looks down with a grin before meeting your eyes again. “Thanks Wonwoo.”

He nods, putting the towel over his shoulder before watching you start to walk away. Swallowing hard he taps his hand on the counter twice before eyeing the old book he had brought with him to work that day before speaking up. “Hey, Y/N. I’m actually about to get off in about an hour. Would you want to get some dinner? I actually have that book I told you about.”

You turn back towards him biting at your lip when he mentions dinner, your eyes searching over his face, the round glasses that sat on his sharp nose, his chiseled jaw, the sharp cupid's bow, before you made it back again to his eyes, those deep brown eyes and you nodded slowly. “I’d like that a lot.”

Wonwoo’s excitement betrays him as you accept his dinner invitation, his smile becoming wider, a bit goofier as he speaks. “Yeah? Awesome.” You laugh and he clears his throat scratching the side of his neck trying to play it a bit cooler. “I mean, that’s really great. I will come meet you at your table once I’m clocked out.”

When Wonwoo takes off his half apron and tosses it off to the side his eyes are fixed on your table as your finger traces over the cup in front of you. He knew you had drank all of the tea, and the refills he had poured for you. So now you were just doing something with your fingers out of habit. Smiling, Wonwoo moves to the counter to pick up the brown book and his brown wool coat slipping it over his arms before putting the book securely in the inside pocket before he makes his way over to you.

You sense him before you even see him, your smile widening as you look up from your own book closing it. “All done?” He smiles and holds up his finger to signal ‘almost’ before he takes your cup making you laugh. “Wonwoo, there are other people who work here.” He laughs under his own breath as he walks away speaking. “I know but this cup…is special.” You shake your head biting down on your bottom lip as you watch him disappear for only a moment before he returns to you and stands almost awkwardly.

“Now, I’m all done.” You laugh again before shaking your head once more leaning to pick up your bag placing your book inside before moving to his side. “Where are we going?” Wonwoo shifts on his feet, his hands sliding into his pockets as he leans towards the door so you both can start walking. “I was actually thinking, are you opposed to going back to my place?”

You pause only for a second as he walks through the door, the bell ringing as he does. You hadn’t expected him to ask that of you but you weren’t opposed. Smiling, you shyly shake your head before walking out into the crisp air with Wonwoo. “Great, I don’t live very far. Just a couple blocks actually. I’ll order some food for us and we can…you know, look at the book.”

Wonwoo dares to glance at you, finding you looking at him which causes him to get shy. He pushes his glasses back up his nose where they had slid down very slightly before he looked back in front of him to focus on where he was walking. “That sounds nice Wonwoo.” You can’t help the small amused sound that falls from your lips at how he is reacting to you.

Normally you were the shy one, but with him it was like he was afraid he was going to say the wrong thing and you’d run in the other direction at any moment. When in reality you were so far from doing that. A gust of wind blows past the two of you making you both shiver, so you step closer to Wonwoo noting his smile out of the corner of your eye. Who said girls couldn’t make the first move?

Wonwoo purses his lips in slight shock when you put your hand on his arm and then into his pocket so you can hold his slightly warmer hand. He was always a bit warmer so he had hot packs in his pockets but when your cold hand hit him he shivered for more than one reason. “Oh, you are so cold Y/N. You should wear a scarf tomorrow. If I had mine today I’d let you wear it now.” You laugh and shake your head looking at how cute his nose was, a very slight tinge of pink to it from the autumn air.

“I’m okay. Your hand is warm, you are smart to have hot packs.” Wonwoo smiles a bit brighter, flexing his hand barely in his pocket before moving to lace his hand with yours letting the hot pack rest between your palms. “I try to think ahead.” You smile nodding, thinking to yourself how true that is, just knowing how he has been with you at the coffee shop.

When the two of you reach a set of brownstone apartment buildings, a set of stairs with an ornate iron handrail, Wonwoo stops taking his other hand from his pocket before leading you up the small staircase. He only lets go of your hand letting it slip from his pocket so he can open the door for you letting you into the building moving in behind you.

“Luckily I’m only on the second floor. No elevator in this old building.” You glance back at him with a laugh before shrugging as he gives you another shy look, taking the lead up the stairs. “And I promise, it’s warmer in my apartment.” You follow the man up the stairs watching him as he stops in front of a door marked 2C before he takes out his keys and pushes the door open.

“Make yourself at home.” Sliding past him you can’t help but to glance up at him in the tight doorway, his warm spicy scent hitting your nose before you look away shyly this time moving past him. You find yourself in a cozy space, something you’d describe perfectly as Wonwoo. Lots of woodsy tones, the smell of spice that matched his cologne, and books stacked almost everywhere. You slip off your shoes and start to move in further to look around when something bumps up against your legs drawing your attention.

Wonwoo watches you as he kicks his own shoes off before putting his jacket on the hook before taking his book out of the pocket holding it in his hand. You looked perfect here, you just matched the space. He wanted you here. You made it feel warmer somehow. He wanted to help you out of your coat and offer you a cup of tea but then you glance down at your feet and he can’t help but to smile into an embarrassed sound as he watches his cat rub around your legs before meowing.

“That’s Ash, he isn’t, uh, usually so friendly with guests. Not that I bring guests over often, or ever really. This is rare if I’m honest. Is he bothering you?” Wonwoo watches as you sit your bag down on the coffee table before moving to sit on your heels, a smile lighting up your face as you run your delicate fingers over the cat's head and down his spine making the sleek black cat purr, his tail flicking eloquently.

“He will never be a bother. I love cats so much. I have one of my own. Her name is Polly…she’s solid white actually. Almost like Ash’s polar opposite. He is stunning.” Wonwoo watches as Ash seems to beam with pride at your compliment as he glances over to his owner with a small meow. “Don’t stroke his ego too much Y/N. He’s very susceptible.”

You laugh and scratch lightly under Ash’s chin before the cat seems to give you and Wonwoo some space trotting off before you stand when Wonwoo moves closer before sitting his book down on the table next to your bag. “Can I help you with your coat?” You smile and bite at your bottom lip before nodding.

“Very gentlemanly of you Wonwoo.” The man laughs as you turn your back to him. His hands sliding up your arms lightly before he moves them around to gently take the collar of your coat and slide it backwards off your shoulders and finally your arms removing it. You turn to watch him as he hangs it up with his own by the door. “I try to be, or at least I want to be with you.”

You can’t help the warmth that floods your cheeks at his words even as you watch him take out his cellphone and his thumb moving over the screen as if he hadn’t said something so impossibly sweet to you. “How does soup sound? There is a little bistro that delivers just down the street. The food is really good.” You sit down on the couch with a small approving sound as Wonwoo looks over at you, a smile crossing his lips as you nod. “Okay, I’ll get us that and make us some tea.”

Watching Wonwoo, you sigh happily as he waves with his phone before disappearing into the kitchen leaving you alone in the living room. Your eyes glancing around, taking in all the things that were even more personal about him. The brown leather bound book on the table catches your eye first but you don’t touch it wanting him to give you permission first, so instead you glance at the shelf lined with books. You read a few titles from your seat before standing again moving to get a closer look.

A Tale of Two Cities, Wuthering Heights, Moby Dick, and the Harry Potter series were just a few things that caught your attention while you ran your fingers over the shelves. A few picture frames adorned the spaces between books and bookends. You were able to pick Wonwoo out in a few of the pictures along with people who were probably relatives just based on similar appearances and others who were friends.

You find yourself smiling as you run your finger over Wonwoo’s face in a picture of him with a group of 3 other men. The smile on his face was so wide and genuine it made your heart feel tight. You had been so caught up looking at the handsome man that when Ash rubs up against your legs again you jump slightly and laugh when you look down at the shocking green eyes of the cat who meows at you curiously.

“Hello handsome.” Your voice is soft and melodic as you speak to the animal as you walk around him and back to the couch. Sitting down you are followed by the cat who jumps up and lays on your lap purring. “You do like me huh? Do I fit the bill for you dad? Is it bad that I hope so?” The cat lets out a small meow and you laugh as you run your fingers over his head with a sigh. “Can I tell you a secret and you keep it?”

Wonwoo balances the tea cups in his hands as he starts back into the living room only to stop when he sees you talking quietly to Ash and hears you mention fitting the bill for him and then asking the cat to keep a secret for you. Wonwoo waits a moment though he feels a pang of guilt at knowing your secret as you speak, “I really hope so because I really like him.”

A breath escapes Wonwoo’s lips as he closes his eyes hearing your confession, the cups shaking in his hands slightly before he steadies himself and moves further into the room as he clears his throat. “Alright, food should be here in less than 20 minutes and I made Earl Grey tea.” You watch as Ash stretches in your lap before he bumps against your arm and jumps down leaving you all to Wonwoo.

You can’t help but wonder if Wonwoo heard you, but he doesn’t seem to give it away if he did. Smiling, you take one of the cups before thanking him as he sits beside you as he sighs softly. “I put a little milk in it and a couple of pieces of sugar. I know you like floral things but you did have a few cups of that today, I thought I’d change it up a little.”

Wonwoo watches as you smile brighter, a piece of your hair falling down in front of your face as you glance down getting ready to lift the teacup to your lips. The urge to touch you, to push that piece of stray hair from your face is too much that he can’t resist so he does it. His fingers brush the tendril back slowly as you glance up before the cup even reaches your lips. Your eyes meet his as he gently places the hair behind your ear before letting his hand trail along the side of your neck as he pulls it away.

“Sorry, I–you might have gotten your hair in your tea.” Wonwoo stumbles over his words, looking away as he sits his cup down as you take a sip of your tea before doing the same. “Wonwoo?” The man sitting beside you makes a questioning sound almost afraid to look at you but when your finger lifts at his chin turning his face towards you, he loses his resolve letting out a breath. “Y/N…”

The electricity seems to ebb and flow between the two of you as Wonwoo says your name, his body closes the space. His lips brushing against yours causes a small sigh to fall from your lips, a smile pulling at his lips as he lifts his hand to brush at your neck again before letting his fingers slide into your hair as his lips seal with your own for the first time. The butterflies in your stomach are in a frenzy at the kiss, the feeling of his touch as he pulls you just slightly closer before gently leaning back to meet your eyes.

“Is this too much? Too fast?” You shake your head, a pout almost forming on your lips as he starts to lean back before he smiles at your reaction. “God, Y/N…I’ve wanted to kiss you for months. Since the first time you walked into the coffee shop. You had on that sundress with the purple flowers. Your hair was in a braid.”

Your cheeks burn slightly at the details he remembers but especially when Wonwoo reaches up to tug gently at the end of your hair at the mention of your braided hair. “You were…no, you are so beautiful.” Wonwoo shakes his head before moving his hand to run his thumb under your bottom lip, starting to lean in to kiss you again when there is a knock at the door. You jump and him sighs, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead to yours. “The food…”

Wonwoo’s fingers run over your cheek as the delivery person knocks on the door once again before he sighs and moves from you, speaking, “Coming.” You watch as he slides from the couch and runs his hand through his hair. This was one of the first times you had ever seen him almost frustrated as he opened the door and nodded at the man holding the bags.

Barely able to make out the conversation, you watch Wonwoo take the bags as he nods and the man glances passed him towards you nodding before he turns and leaves. With a sigh Wonwoo smiles, using his foot to kick the door closed before turning back to you when you hear the lock move into place as he moves back into the room. You watch him lift the two bags showing you the food, making you smile as you carefully clear the coffee table taking extra care with his book, putting it in the upper corner of the table away from anything that might spill.

“So their special was their house tomato soup, so I ordered that along with whatever it comes with.” You laugh, nodding at his words as he sits the bags on the table and works to dig through the bags taking out everything making sure he puts things in front of you first. Large containers of soup and enough bread that neither of you could possibly go hungry.

“This looks so good, Wonwoo. Thank you.” The man smiles and bites at his lip when you speak, taking the lids off the containers before offering you a spoon. You watch his hands before you take the spoon letting your fingers slide from his before he finally sits beside you as he simply watches you. A laugh falls from your lips as he doesn’t seem to make a move to pick up his own soup so you gesture towards the food. “We should eat it before it gets cold.”

Wonwoo sighs and nods furrowing his brows. “I know…I just was enjoying things, you know before.” Your cheeks warm at his words as you bring some soup to your lips, swallowing the bite before meeting his eyes again. “I did too.” You laugh softly at his choice of wording as you watch him finally pick up the food dipping his bread into the soup before taking a bite of it following it with a sip of his soup. “I really hope that you will kiss me again later.”

You continue to eat after saying that and Wonwoo can’t seem to understand how. Your words made his stomach flip with nerves and excitement. You watch him smile and glance back down at his food before he lets out a slow breath and shakes his head. “I promise I will. As much as you want, as much as you will let me.”

Wonwoo watches you smile as you eat shyly. The two of you share a casual conversation, him lifting a napkin to brush a crumb from your lips, you returning the favor when you notice a bit of soup in the corner of his lips. Once the two of you have finished you watch him clear the table, though you offer to help but instead he tells you to just stay comfortable and finish your tea. Ever the considerate man.

Inside the kitchen Wonwoo leans his hands on the counter as he takes a breath. He wasn’t sure how he thought this night would go, how he wanted it to turn out, but what he did know was how he felt about you. Glancing down at his feet Wonwoo grins at Ash before leaning down to run his hand along the cat’s back as he meows. “Yeah? Me too bud. So much…”

When Wonwoo moves back into the living room his teeth catch his bottom lip as he watches you holding your teacup as you look out of his living room window. The sun had pretty much set, the light in the room becoming even warmer because of the lamps. Your fingers wrapped around the cup but still under your sleeves much like how he usually had his, sweater paws you usually called them.

“Y/N?” You smile at your name on his lips turning to look at him as he moves to sit back on the couch sliding in closer than he had before. His hand moves to slide your hair behind your ear before he glances at his book on the table and sighs. “I’ve never…shown anyone that book before.” You follow his eyes and then lean to pick up your purse taking out your own book as you cross your legs letting your foot rest against his shin.

Wonwoo watches you carefully as you slide your hand over the leather book with a sigh. “I haven’t shown anyone mine either. “A grimoire is a very personal thing for a witch.” You smile and look at Wonwoo meeting his eyes before you speak again. “Or a warlock.” He nods, his fingers gently running over your cheek before moving to your neck, just barely grazing your skin before he looks down at your lap as you open your grimoire.

“But I trust you Wonwoo. You are so careful.” You laugh again and lean into the man feeling warmer as you do, making him sigh out happily. “Though you did lock the door with a spell after getting our food. I think you did it subconsciously because you were frustrated.” Wonwoo wrinkles his nose and nods. “You noticed?” You nod and smile softly before looking back at your book, flipping through the first few pages showing him some of the spells that had been passed down to you through the years from your family.

“Then I started crafting my own, as I got better. I’m better with runes. Not so much with potions, like you are.” Wonwoo feels his cheeks get warm at your compliment as he shrugs and you feel his fingers gently run along the back of your neck as he speaks. “It was just what my family specialized in. That’s why we have the coffee shop.”

Wonwoo grins as you smile at him again, your warm smile drawing him in closer before he leans to grab his grimoire, opening it, placing it over yours letting you start to look through it. Recipes upon recipes covering the pages. Small drawings of what you could only assume were Ash in the margins. You run your fingers over the words and the drawings with a smile and a shake of your head.

“Your mind is amazing Wonwoo. I wouldn’t think of half of this. Verbena mixed with lavender for protection…” Your brows furrow and you glance over to Wonwoo as he swallows hard at your reaction. “Have you been protecting me?” Wonwoo sighs and tilts his head. “If I say yes, are you going to be upset with me? I haven’t been doing anything that would cause anything negative. Not a true potion. Just…herbs.”

The butterflies in your stomach were in a frenzy again as you closed his grimoire and then yours as Wonwoo watched you nervously as you placed the books on the table. He wasn’t sure what you were doing. Were you going to pack up your things and walk out? Could he blame you? He had been putting the herbs in your tea for a while now without telling you the true purpose.

But instead of doing what Wonwoo had thought you might do, you turn your body towards him. Your hands move to hold his face as you lean in to press your lips to his gently, taking him by surprise. Wonwoo’s eyes widen before he lets them close, his hands moving to slide down your forearms before he moves his hands to your waist pulling you closer as he deepens the kiss.

You smile against his lips before you let his tongue slip along your own. Your hands move to the sides of his neck as you move to your knees before Wonwoo groans softly into the kiss, his fingers tightening against your sides when he guides you over his lap. He grins into the kiss as your nose brushes against his as you sit down on his legs, his hands sliding along your hips to your thighs and back before he moves one of his hands to your jaw pulling your face that much closer.

Wonwoo only breaks the kiss again to groan softly and work his kisses along your cheek before looking up at you as he checks to make sure you are okay with this before he goes any further, but when you bite at your lip and look at his lips he can’t help but to blow out a breath at the vision of you. This beautiful creature sitting on his lap, his hands gracing your body, his lips able to take yours, your skin…it’s almost too much that he can’t help how he is hardening under you.

It isn’t lost on you that Wonwoo is aroused, you are just as aroused but you can see the question in his eyes. The same question was playing in yours but you wanted to see where this could go. You want more of him. His fingers playing at the hem of your shirt was driving you crazy, your skin erupting with goosebumps as you let out a soft sigh of his name making Wonwoo lick his lips and tilt his head. “Just tell me what you want and it’s yours Y/N.”

“Take me to bed Wonwoo?” His eyes close briefly at your request, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat visibly before he nods and looks up at you letting his hands slide under your shirt over your soft skin making you instantly warmer. You wondered how he was able to do that with a simple touch. “God…Y/N.” Your name is almost a whine on his lips before he leans to kiss your throat making you whine this time at how sweet his kisses feel as his hands slide further up your shirt.

Your breath quickens as your own hands move over his sides and up his chest to his shoulders as you roll your hips over Wonwoo for the first time. A groan falls from his lips as he leans his head back from you to lean on the couch, his hands trembling slightly on your back before he opens his eyes to look at you. “I’ll take you to bed.” You smile and slide from his lap before Wonwoo takes your hand bringing it to his lips kissing your fingers. He walks backwards, leading you towards a short hallway and finally an open door to a dark room.

He never lets go of your hand, he only whispers “ignis” on your lips, a latin word you know to mean flame as he pulls you close to him wrapping his other arm around your waist. You watch the room become brighter with candlelight, four candles have come to life at his spoken word.

Wonwoo sighs against your lips before stepping back to finally release your hand as he takes off his sweater tossing it on to a chair as your eyes watch him almost shyly. “If you don’t want the candles…I can put them out. I just wanted to be able to see you, especially the first time.” Wonwoo had a way of making your skin warm, be that with his touch or his words by making your skin feel flushed. You step forward at the sight of his skin, shaking your head as you run your fingers gently over his sides, your eyes following your fingertips as you smile into your words. “The first time?”

A small laugh escapes the man’s lips as he lifts his hand to push your hair behind your ear. He sucks in a breath at your gentle touch over his stomach before your fingers move to his jeans, undoing them before you look up to meet his eyes before he answers you. “I hope this is the beginning of something Y/N. I like you very much. I hope that is obvious.” You smile and nod, meeting his lips in a soft kiss as your fingers work to push down his jeans. His fingers finally move to your shirt once again, gently lifting it at your sides before he pulls back, watching you lift your arms for him.

Wonwoo can’t help but smile in wonder at you, how perfect you are. How you are everything he’s ever wanted. He watches as you shake your hair from your face as he carefully pulls the shirt from you and lays it with his own, his eyes traveling over your skin making him take a shaky breath.

You loved how he watched you, like a man falling in love, or perhaps like a man who had been in love for a while. His adoring eyes travel over your skin, tracing the contours over your figure before he meets your eyes and shakes his head with a goofy grin spreading over his face. “You are so beautiful.” Wonwoo watches your lashes lower as you turn your back to him and he takes in a deep breath before running his finger over your spine watching goosebumps spread over your skin before he reaches the clasp of your bra undoing it.

“It’s been a while since anyone has said things like this to me, Wonwoo, or seen me like this.” Wonwoo wants to say it’s a shame because you deserve to be told how beautiful you are and to be marveled at every day, but at the same time he finds himself happy to know that this is for him. He doesn’t have to share this with anyone, the jealousy would be too much. “I’ll tell you all the time Y/N.”

You close your eyes as you feel his hands slide along your bare back up to your shoulders so he can guide the straps of your bra along your arms before you feel the cups fall from your breasts making you smile. Moving your arms, you let the garment fall to the floor before you feel Wonwoo’s hands slide along your waist and around your body. His fingertips take in the feeling of your soft skin over your stomach before he presses his lips to your shoulder making you shiver.

“Would you like that? For me to be the one to tell you how beautiful you are?” You smile again at his words as you nod and lean back against him as Wonwoo’s hands move to undo your jeans. His nimble fingers work them down your hips, letting the fabric’s weight take care of the rest so his hands can move along your skin, explore more. “Can I?”

Wonwoo’s fingers graze at the top elastic of your panties as his mouth moves along your neck up into your hairline making you whine before you nod and whisper out a yes. He smiles against your skin and uses his thumbs to slide them down slowly as his lips capture your earlobe making you moan his name as you arch against his chest. The colder air of the room hitting between your legs at the loss of the fabric but his warm body pressing against you makes up for it.

You lean your head back on Wonwoo’s shoulder, letting him look down at your body which makes him groan as he runs one hand over your breast, the other sliding over your hip before he dares to let his fingers brush over the top of your slit.

“Y/N…” You let out a soft moan at your name falling from Wonwoo’s lips as his fingers parted your folds. His middle finger grazes over your clit making your knees weak. “Wonwoo…please.” Your voice is more of a whine than you intend but it is enough to make Wonwoo weak. His finger sliding from you before he steps away to lead you to his bed, laying you down.

“I don’t want you to have to want for anything. All that need in your voice, fuck…I can’t stand to hear you so needy without doing something about it baby.” You watch Wonwoo as he speaks, his eyes moving over your body before he moves on to the bed sliding his hands over your legs spreading them so he can lay between them. When he calls you baby for the first time you can’t help the way your heart tightens, those butterflies in your stomach doing flips.

Wonwoo kisses your knee and you moan softly, reaching out a hand to him. He takes it with a free hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he slides in closer looking up at you. “Wonwoo…” You whisper his name, making him groan and squeeze his eyes shut before he presses a kiss to your inner thigh using his free hand to run his fingers through your folds again.

You arch your back, rolling your hips towards his fingers as Wonwoo carefully works his index finger around your entrance before letting you push your hips over it as you lift your free hand to your lips, biting gently at your own finger to quieten your moan. Wonwoo smiles against your skin as he glances at you one more time before his warm breath fans your core for the first time.

“Oh my god…” The words slip around your finger with a moan as Wonwoo’s tongue glides over your clit gently once, twice, before he slips a second finger into your warmth. Wonwoo’s mouth moves over your folds, sucking gently, his tongue parting them carefully so he can wrap his lips around your clit. “Wonwoo! Please…please baby.”

Your cries cause Wonwoo to groan around your clit sending a vibration through you when you call him the pet name. Your toes pointing, your fingers holding tightly to his as your walls clench around his fingers while they curl up against the roof of your pussy against the rough patch of nerves making your thighs quiver.

When you orgasm for the first time, the flames of the candles burn brighter in the room at your moan of Wonwoo’s name. Your head is thrown back against the pillows while you move your free hand to grip the bedding under you until the man between your legs slowly slides his fingers from you with a soft smile on his lips.

Wonwoo kisses your wet folds before leaning back to lick his lips, his eyes finally looking up the length of your body again as he grins. “You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my life.” When you smile trying to catch your breath, a laugh falling from your lips, Wonwoo laughs too before leaning to kiss your thigh again. “Come here, Wonwoo.”

He nods, leaning to sit back on his knees before sliding off the bed as you watch him. His hands push his boxers down, causing you to bite your bottom lip when you see his cock for the first time. He was perfect, every part of him. Shaking your head, you reach for him again and Wonwoo laughs, taking your hand as he leans to open his nightstand, taking out a condom before he moves back on the bed.

Your lips find his neck, making Wonwoo moan softly under his breath as he leans back against the headboard. His hand falls from yours so he can tear open the foil packet taking out the condom before he rolls it over his length with a slow steady breath. One of your hands moves down his abs before you wrap your fingers around his cock under his own hand.

Wonwoo groans, leaning his head back at your touch, his tongue darting over his lips as he feels your hand stroke him once as you move your mouth across his jaw. “Y/N…I…” You smile against his skin as he tries to speak only to groan again as you run your thumb over his tip. “Baby, fuck. I’ll let you do whatever you want to me next time but if you do this tonight I’ll cum before…and I…”

You silence him with a kiss as you hold him at his base before moving into his lap, nodding to agree with him. Wonwoo’s hands move to hold your hips as you hover above him before slowly sinking down over his length. Your mouth falls from his as you gasp softly into a moan at the stretch, your hands moving to Wonwoo’s chest as you sit on his lap much like you had on the couch.

Wonwoo’s hands slide up to your ribs as he lets you adjust to him, your legs wrapping around his waist. One of his hands moving up to your neck and resting there, his thumb gently caressing your skin. “God, you feel so good.” You lift your hand running it along his forearm to up his wrist holding it loosely when you roll your hips over Wonwoo letting him know it was ok to start moving.

“Please move Wonwoo. I need you.” Nodding Wonwoo lifts his legs pulling you closer, your breasts pushing against his chest as he holds your hip with the other slowly thrusting up into you. His soft groan, music to your ears as he pulls you closer with his hand around your neck before he speaks against your lips. “So good, my girl.” You smile at the name and the ‘my’ in front of it.

Wonwoo can’t help how he feels, the tightening in his stomach, in his groin, when you let out softly breathy moans of his name every time his cock brushes against your cervix. His hand drops from your throat to move to your hip so he can help you move easier as you wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your lips to his to let him swallow your moans.

You were so close again, your walls tightening around Wonwoo as his fingers pressed into your skin. His fingernails leave shallow divots in your hips as you whine on his lips coming undone for him for the second time that night. Wonwoo groans into your mouth when you roll your hips over him and he feels you cum around him.

The way your body was pulling him in, your warmth, how wet you were, how you were holding him, kissing him…it was all too much for him to hold on for much longer. Wonwoo’s hands move from your hips to your back as a breath gets caught in his throat when his release takes over him and he spills into the condom with a few final thrusts.

You can’t help but to smile against his lips as his hips come to a stop and you simply sit still for a moment feeling him soften inside of you while his fingers run along your back. Wonwoo’s lips moving against yours in a sweet but deep kiss before he pulls back to look at you. His long fingers pushing your hair back as he smiles and shakes his head. “Incredible…you made the candles burn brighter both times.”

Wonwoo watches your lashes lower as you turn your face away, making him laugh before he moves his hand to your cheek feeling how warm your face had gotten from his words. “I think it’s sexy. God you are perfect…I want you to be mine.” You meet his intense gaze as Wonwoo runs his thumb along your bottom lip before you press a kiss to it. “Then I am Wonwoo.”

A grin spreads across his face at your words, Wonwoo pulls you back down to press a kiss to your lips keeping you close for a moment longer before he groans softly into a sigh. His forehead resting on yours as he contemplates his next words making you smile. “We need to get cleaned up, but I’d like for you to stay the night.”

No one had ever asked you to stay afterwards and you can’t think back to a time when you had really asked for someone to stay. Wonwoo’s words make your heart tighten once again and the butterflies in your stomach come alive once again. “I…could stay.” The man under you smiles when you agree, kissing you once more before helping you to move from his lap before sliding from the bed himself to begin cleaning up.

You watch him for a moment, laying on your side as he throws away the condom and the wrapper before he picks up his clothes and yours, putting them all on the chair. A small smile crossing your lips as you bring your thumb to your lips biting at your nail to hide it when he looks back. “What?” You shake your head and Wonwoo narrows his eyes playfully before moving back to the bed to offer you his hand. “I think you’re laughing at me Y/N.”

Taking his hand you sit up and slide out of the bed, moving to your feet before he pulls you into his arms looking down at you. “No, I’m just amused by your habits. I think you are sweet. You picked up our clothes.” Wonwoo glances at the chair then back to you with a shrug and a smirk. “I have to be a gentleman, I can’t leave your clothes on the ground. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am going to be?”

Wonwoo moves back to your side, lacing his fingers with yours as you bite at your lip. His words constantly make your head spin. “I don’t know, I’m ready to find out though.” Wonwoo laughs softly as he leads you out of the room and to his bathroom so he can turn on the shower before he leaves the room, promising to come back and join you.

With a moment alone you can’t help but to turn towards the mirror as it starts to steam up to take a breath. The day begins to catch up with you in your mind. It hadn’t been where you had thought it was going but you were happy with where it was ending. You step into the shower alone, letting the warm water run over you as you lean your head back, closing your eyes enjoying the calming feeling.

Wonwoo returns to the bathroom with fresh towels, his eyes moving to the shower, the shadow of your form behind the curtain making him take a deep breath. Yes, he had just made love to you, but that didn’t stop how you were going to affect him every time. He wasn’t sure that even if he was with you for the rest of his life he wouldn’t have this reaction every single time.

Biting at his lip, Wonwoo takes in a breath of the steamy air before stepping behind the curtain to let his eyes move over your body as the water runs over it. Wonwoo let out that same breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding before taking a step closer letting his fingertips brush over your waist making you jump slightly but a smile forms on your face as you open your eyes to look at him.

“I didn’t even hear you. You are just as quiet as Ash.” Wonwoo smiles, his right hand tracing the contour of your hip before he takes his hand from your body to grab his body wash pouring some on to a washcloth. “Well, he is my familiar.” You watch him, taking in a deep breath of the spicy, warm, woodsy scent of his body wash before he rubs his hand over it making it lather.

“Sorry, you are going to smell like me.” You shake your head and laugh as he starts to run the washcloth over your body beginning with your hip. “Why would you apologize for that?” Wonwoo meets your eyes with a slight smile as he moves the lather along your stomach and your breasts. “You smell like...comfort Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo can’t help but to bite at his lip again as you turn your back to him, letting him wash your back before he lets you take over. “I do?” You nod as Wonwoo watches you finish washing your body, his eyes traveling the length of your legs before he makes it back to your face as you wash out the washcloth and grab the other. “You do, like spices and like a woodsy sort of smell.”

He watches as you move closer to him doing the same he had for you with his body wash, running the washcloth over his body starting at his neck and working your way down as he shivers slightly at your touch. “You have a comforting smell too Y/N.” You laugh and tilt your head as you run the washcloth around his side before sliding it down his v-cut making Wonwoo groan softly.

“Hm, what do I smell like?” Wonwoo sighs, trying not to get aroused so quickly again as he licks his lips, moving towards the water as you guide him towards it, stepping behind him to wash his back. “Like chai tea and lavender.” You smile as the water runs down his back and washes the soap away before you lean to kiss his shoulder, making Wonwoo close his eyes. His hand reaches behind him to rest on your hip as you put the washcloth to the side.

Wonwoo’s eyes close again when he feels you kiss his skin again. Your soft lips make his resolve less each time. You feel his fingers press into your thigh before he turns and guides you to the shower wall leaning in to press his lips to yours. Wonwoo’s hand moving to your jaw tilting your head back slightly, his thumb caressing your skin lightly as he smiles on your lips before his tongue asks for permission against your lips.

When your lips part for him, Wonwoo’s tongue glides along yours like a dance, slow and steady. He was never in a rush, never when it came to you it seemed. He wanted to savor it all. Remember it all. Your hand moves to rest on his forearm, the other his chest as the water gently rains over your bodies for a few minutes longer. Only when you smile does Wonwoo pull back, nudging his nose against yours.

“The water will start running cold if I need you in here too long.” You laugh on his lips furrowing your brows as you press one last kiss to his lips before letting him move from you. He offers you his hand making sure you don’t slip while getting out of the shower before wrapping you in a warm towel, always making sure you are taken care of first before doing anything for himself.

You watch him dry off before wrapping the towel around his waist as he smiles a bit to one side at you as he watches you finish drying off. “What?” The word calling from your lips in a gentle laugh. Wonwoo grins a bit more fully as he leans to kiss your temple shaking his head. “I just love having you here.” You bite at your lip at his words before he slips around you, heading back into his bedroom where you can hear the sound of his dresser being opened.

Your eyes find the mirror in front of you once again as you run your fingers through your hair, considering his words and how those butterflies were seemingly in a race in your stomach when Wonwoo returns in a pair of shorts carrying some clothes. “I hope they will fit you okay and be comfortable. When this happens again…we can prepare better.”

Wonwoo smiles at you in the mirror, his glasses back on his face. You smile as they steam up slightly from just being in the room. “You can come to my place next time, but you will have to bring your own clothes, Wonwoo. I doubt I have anything that will fit you.” He laughs running his fingers over your shoulders before moving his hand to your hair moving it from your neck so he can lean to kiss your skin making you sigh happily before his hands move to take your towel leaving you naked in front of him again.

“If I had my way you’d sleep like this, but I do want you to be comfortable.” You glance up at his eyes again, a small smirk on your lips at his words before you turn in his arms and meet his eyes fully. “I am comfortable...but only if you lose the shorts.” Wonwoo smirks back at you, narrowing his eyes playfully as you feel his hands move around his hips before he pushes his shorts down and steps out of them.

Your laugh is like music and Wonwoo will never get tired of it. His fingers lace with yours as he leads you back to the bedroom, you see the bed turned down with extra blankets that you know he had added in case you wanted them. Shaking your head, you lean your head on his shoulder for a moment before letting go of his hand to climb onto the bed, letting him follow you. Wonwoo pulls a few layers over your body worried you will get cold, making you smile as you move in close to him. “You are a worry wart.”

“I...no, I am just making sure you won’t be cold. I am the reason you are naked and I don’t…” You laugh again before moving over Wonwoo making him groan and smile as you drape your leg over his hip, your leg brushing against him. He just repeats to himself like a mantra, later later later, as he wraps his arm around you. “I’ll be fine Wonwoo, I have you to keep me warm.”

Wonwoo lets out a slow breath and nods, his cheek resting against your forehead as your fingers run over his chest, stomach, and hip under the covers. He can’t help but to laugh sucking in his stomach to how you are making him feel when he has to groan again. “You are killing me Y/N.” You laugh leaning to kiss his neck as you let your fingers finally stay mostly near his hip bone. “I’ll be good.”

You close your eyes not thinking much about what you are doing as you draw shapes on Wonwoo’s skin as he mutters “extinguo”, the candles in the room extinuishing. His soft breath calms you down as you listen to him while you wind down. It isn’t until you draw one last circle that Wonwoo hisses softly and you both notice a faint purple glow under the cover.

Wonwoo moves the sheet and looks where your fingers are, seeing a fading rune where your fingers tremble slightly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think…” His own fingers rub over the symbol, a larger circle, four on the points, a diamond shape connecting them, and a center circle. He had seen this in your grimoire. It was your protection rune. “A protection rune?”

You look as the light fades from the rune completely, the moonlight from the window letting you see the lines that look more like a fading tattoo now. “Yes, but I wasn’t thinking. I can remove it. I crossed a line, I didn’t ask for your permission Wonwoo.” You start to move your hand, a word of latin on your lips when Wonwoo takes your fingers and shushes you.

“Don’t…I want it. It’s a part of you with me now.” You look up to meet Wonwoo’s eyes as he smiles and lifts your hand to kiss your fingers, the same ones that had left the rune, “My little witch.” Your cheeks burn slightly as you smile before leaning up to kiss him gently. “Don’t make me fall in love with you so quickly, Jeon Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo smiles on your lips, his fingers pushing your hair behind your ear as he kisses you before speaking furrowing his brows. “I can’t promise that, when I’m falling in love with you just as quickly Y/N.” You want to whine and tell him how unfair he is for being too unrealistic, too perfect but the feeling of something jumping on the bed draws both you and Wonwoo’s attention as Ash stretches at the end of the bed and curls up against your legs.

“He agrees, you know? From the moment you walked in.” You sigh on Wonwoo’s lips before nuzzling your head under his chin laying on his chest. Wonwoo laughs softly and holds you closer making a silent promise to himself and you to make this last and keep you safe. He had plenty of verbena and you loved lavender tea with honey.

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