#maybe i'll re-make it much bigger sometime

[scmoobly]

T.V | David Shaw

I'll be in denial at least for a little while, what about the plans we made?

Warning: [cheating] [language]

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO @mileysmileysstuff FOR GIVING ME THE IDEA TO WRITE ABOUT DAVID VOTED LEAST LIKELY TO CHEAT. I was listening to TV by Billie eillish and was so sad so everyone else must be sad too 🫶

Something had changed in your relationship with David. You couldn't pinpoint to one thing specifically because sometimes it felt like everything was a mess.

You hadn't seen much of him the past few days and when you brought up the subject he'd always brush it off as being busy with pack stuff.

You knew in your heart that it wasn't the reason. He used to carve out time for you, do whatever he could to always have you in his line of sight. But lately he seemed to be doing the exact opposite.

"David are you going to be home late again?" You asked even though you already knew the answer. "Likely, have dinner without me."

And that's it. He was already out the door and gone before you could say anything else. Something inside you was breaking in half and you didn't know how to make it stop. You wanted to talk through this but he never seemed to listen anymore. Or even be around.

A solitary tear ran down your cheek as you abandoned the work you were doing on your laptop.

You needed a breather and you needed it that minute. While rummaging through the closet you heard the familiar notification ping of David's phone. He must've left it in a hurry. You picked up the device and noticed the text message from Arden, one of his pack members that you had met at the solstice party.

Are you here yet?

Since it was a text from Arden you assumed David was on his way to the pack house. Another meeting perhaps? He used to tell you when he would go to pack meetings and even asked if you wanted to tag along, fully aware that you loved meeting Milo and Ashers mates.

You decided that you'd bring his phone and go about your day. If he didn't tell you about the meeting maybe it didn't involve you and you were okay with that. You just wished he didn't completely leave you in the dark.

Regardless of all the mixed feelings in your chest you thought you'd do something nice for him and it would give you an excuse to go see him.

It was cold outside so you grabbed one of David's jackets to keep you warm. It was a lot bigger and thicker then your jackets. And it smelled like him. Another thing you missed.

You drove down to the pack house and parked your car where you always did. Right next to David's. It was one of your inside jokes with him.

"You need to re-learn your parking skills." He says matter of fact-ly as you lay on his chest with his arms around you, the free one messing with your hair. "Why do you say that?"

He scoffed and pulled on your cheek gently. "Because you blocked my car in. It took forever to get it out of the garage."

You tightened your grip around his body and hid your face in his shirt. "Who cares, I'll park next to you forever." He tickled your waist knowing that was your weakest spot and you melted like ice on a sunny day, giggling and kicking your feet. "Oh is that right you little snot-"

You were infront of the double doors leading into the house. You hesitated for a second, wondering if it was rude of you to be intruding on a private pack meeting.

You made up your mind to at least hand him his phone before you left since you had already come all that way.

The halls were silent, much to your surprise. You expected the booming voices of the loud pack members to travel through walls. That's when you heard it. David. He was inside the meeting room.

"David."

With someone else?

The door was conveniently a crack open, giving you the chance to assess your environment before you went in.

But you wished you hadn't, you wished you had never gone there. You wished you had never gotten in your car. You wished you had never found his phone.

Arden was sitting on the table and infront of her was David, holding her face in his hands and kissing her. You held your hands to your mouth, afraid of letting out even a single noise, the tears infiltrating your eyes finally. You were holding your breath as if the only way for you to live was by staying as quiet as possible.

Backing away you crept away from the door, from the house and back into your car where you finally started to cry once you were safe inside the walls that would muffle your voice. You didn't hold back anymore. You were screaming and letting out all the tears that had been building up inside you.

How could he? Why? Fuck WHY???

You started the engine, still bawling your eyes out but trying your best to keep you tears at bay enough to drive away from there.

You went back home. That's not right. It wasn't home anymore. It was just a skeleton of a house made of cement and bricks.

You pulled out all your clothes from the closet, all your books and DVD's from the shelfs and all the gifts he'd given you over time. Instead of putting those in the suitcase you had prepared, you put them in the trash can.

You made sure to wipe away every reminder of you from that house. As if you never existed in his life in the first place.

Before leaving you made sure to leave his jacket neatly folded on the bed and his phone on top of it.

You put your belongings in your car and called Milos Mate, asking them if they could let you stay over for awhile. They didn't hesitate to agree and you were on your way over when you started to cry again. Everything was sinking in.

Everything was making sense and you hated to imagine it but it kept popping in your head. The way he held her close. The way he used to hold you.

"FUCK!!" You screamed

When you reached their house they welcomed you with a hug, helping you carry your bags in. It wasn't long before you spilled your guts to them and they comforted you the best they could.

That night when David got back home he was shocked to say the least. It was like everything related to you had just disappeared. He called you throughout the night which you didn't answer of course. Why should you?

"Angel where are you?"

"Please answer me, tell me you're okay." His voice mails would read.

He sent texts upon texts.

Angel. Please answer my call just once.

I just want to know you're okay.

He didn't seem to care as much the weeks leading up to everything. Why was he bothering now. You thought to yourself as you tucked yourself deeper into the bed, crying yourself to sleep again.

It had been weeks since you last talked to David and you weren't doing very well but you promised yourself you'd hold out. The image of David kissing someone else was what motivated you.

Needless to say, Milo's mate was extremely worried about you. You weren't eating well. You weren't doing anything except sleeping. You called a few days off work and had stayed cooped up in your room.

Out of concern they told Milo that you had been staying at their house. Milo not knowing the full story, ended up telling David where you were and that night when you were stepping out to get rid of the trash in your room there he was infront of you.

"Angel-"

Your jaw clenched.

"Don't you dare call me that.."

You hadn't been talking to anyone so your voice came out hoarse and quiet.

"Angel I-"

"I said don't fucking call me that David-!!" You yelled.

You were seeing red. Seeing him infront of you acting like he didn't completely fuck you over.

"Why the fuck are you here?? What do you fucking want from me??" You tried you hardest not to but the tears started streaming down your cheeks. "Do you want to gloat in my face? Is that what will satisfy you?!" You were screaming and crying all at the same time and it felt like you would pass out any second.

"Listen to me please, I can explain- please Angel just let me-" He tried to get closer to you but you found the nearest object to throw at him, stopping him in his tracks but unfortunately missing.

"How long?"

"What-?"

"HOW FUCKING LONG DAVID-"

"A month.."

Shit- You wished you didn't ask.

"I'm not your little fucking Angel anymore David." You cried, clutching onto your chest. "Why did you do this to me?... what did I do to deserve this?" You whimpered, barely able to keep yourself up.

"You didn't do anything and You didn't deserve any of what I did. It was a stupid mistake- she meant nothing to me!"

Ofcourse you didn't deserve this.

"I loved you so much David. So fucking much. And everyday I went to bed thinking what did I do wrong. Was it my fault? Did you just not love me anymore?"

"Angel please.."

"Shut up-"

You pointed to the door. "And get out of here."

David looked at you with a grief struck expression on his face. "No.."

"I don't ever want to see your face again."

"No please- please don't do this-" he begged.

"Angel I love you so much please don't leave me-"

That was when Milo and his mate intercepted the situation, finally aware of what he had done to you.

"David, just leave" Milo looked disappointed in his Alpha while his mate helped you back into your room.

"No I can't leave- angel don't do this I can't live without you-"

You looked back at him.

"I hope you can't, I hope you suffer as much as I did."

#ao3 #fanfic #headcanons #redacted asmr #redacted angel #redacted darlin #redacted davey/angel #redacted david #redacted headcanons #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #redacted shaw pack #david shaw

[siflshonen]

Which aspects of Katsuki's personality are his honne and which are his tatemae? And which traits overlap? Could you elaborate on that?

In my opinion, almost all the things he does are both, but they are also...not. This is kinda what makes it fun, I think.

Maybe somewhere between DvK 1 and the remediation arc, I'm fairly certain his crappiest pettiness has all been absolutely truthful and honest, but the exaggerated application of it to create a specific impression has been a ploy. I'm pretty sure that it's mentioned explicitly that Katsuki likes people to assume he's dumb and brash before doing something clever so he gets them off guard, and this is kind of like that. It's better for him if others think they know his motive and are framing it as totally petty and selfish. It's not untrue, but it's not the whole truth.

Katsuki also prefers to get his point across in as few words as possible, so if you don't catch a second implication or a ham-fisted double-meaning ("I" and "we" can be ambiguous, so any statements by the end of the manga that are, like, "I'm gonna help Deku!" OR "We [as in all of 1-A, of which Bakugo is now comfortable identifying as a part of]'re gonna help Deku!" are both true at the same time), the message probably wasn't meant for you in the first place.

The most consistent trait I'd say Katsuki always has is sensitivity. He's an extremely sensitive little git, so the biggest shows of his true, unfiltered self always get me because it's when his cup runneth over so much that he can’t put any kind of spin on it: His eyes while captured by the sludge villain (upon reflection, this might be the single most important panel of the manga, actually), him totally failing to grapple with and communicate his feelings to Izuku at the end of chapter 1 (this is a bad example - instead of saying thank you or crying like a little twerp, he totally tried to front it like he didn't need Deku's help, which was about as see-through as a piece of cellophane. Idiot. Still a great moment, though), crying outside the school after DvK1 ("I'll beat you all!" Sure, kid), the moment he hits Izuku in the face during their exam against All Might (there's no freaky smile in this moment - he just freezes and hits him in unbridled anger), the end of the Sports Festival when Todoroki is knocked out - he grabs Todoroki's shirt and is about to have a breakdown (did you know this is my second-favorite moment? Did you know that the US fandom's assumptions about Katsuki's motives in this moment made me want to start beating them to death with my bare hands? Did you know I walked away from this series after that because I couldn't stand how little emotional intelligence people have in the US? Were it not for the laws of this land, I would have killed you, western BNHA fandom), DvK2...

Katsuki's emotions are big. They are probably bigger than he is, honestly. Deku's are, too, and so are several other characters, but that doesn't negate my statement.

I'm of the opinion that Katsuki throughout most of the manga, though not so much after these most recent (404 and up) chapters, is actually quite shy about anything that isn't kicking someone's ass or showing off an ability he knows he can perform well. So, sure, he can perform when ass-kicking just fine, but during interviews or simple conversations with his classmates, he clams up and/or just acts like a total bullshitter delinquent as a cover. He's a sensitive little baby and needed to be treated as such just as much as he needed to be told he could be a little shit sometimes and get his ass beat into the dirt! Both were required!

#bakugo katsuki #ask #people who say they don't like how the narrative coddles him never wanted him to do better in the first place #air quotes on coddles #because sometimes that is actually the thing that has to be done #sorry! you have to love the difficult person sometimes #sorry! Izuku loves him! #sorry! katsuki does not actually have all the power in their dynamic #in fact he does not have the power in any dynamic most of the time! #not sorry! I also fucking love him!

[moongothic]

Remember my first crochet sweater from forever ago? The one that turned out like shit?

Frogged it and now it's a knit 😎

So to recap; I tried making a crochet sweater based on a YouTube tutorial like years ago, and although while making it I could tell it didn't seem... right... I just kept on telling myself to "trust the process" and that "it'd turn out okay in the end"

It did not

The sweater ended up being so square-ish and massive I could've fit three of myself inside of, going well beyond "comfy oversized sweater" straight into "clown clothes" territory. It was bad. On top of that, although I tried to get the same yarn to do the top of the sweater in a pastel purple, I ended up leaning about this thing called "dye lots" the hard way, as the yarn I had needed to finish the sweater ended up being a completely different shade from what I had used for most of the sweater.

So yeah. The sweater turned out like shit, and I wore it maybe once before putting it into my closet and refusing to even look at it for like IDK two years.

Now I have some nicer yarn that I'd like to make something with, something preferably knit because I like knit fabric more than crochet, but I don't want to practise knitting clothes with that nicer yarn. And so I figured, if I frogged this crochet sweater I could then practise knitting sweaters, reuse the old yarn (=don't have to buy jack shit), and maybe remake this failed sweater into something I'll actually wear

And so the sweater was frogged, this being all the usable yarn from the project. Pastel purple dyelot on the left while the more pinkish yarn (the stuff I had originally used while trying to convince myself it wasn't pink)

You can see the difference in the hue better here

So yeah. Now admitedly after frogging the sweater I did lowkey think about just trying to re-crochet the sweater and did kinda start on that, but I very soon realized that I probably wouldn't have enough yarn to remake the sweater the way I wanted to, and just trying to crochet with it made me double down on how much I just I don't like crochet fabric as clothes. It's just so bulky, man

So I got to knitting instead. And because I'm deranged I chose to... mostly wing it. I did look at a few YouTube tutorials for top-down raglan sweaters to get an idea of what I was supposed to be doing, but in the end, I do kinda learn the best by just winging it. But what I did make a big note of while remaking the sweater was just trying it on as often as possible, just to make sure I didn't make it as oversized this time.

I did want to make this process relatively simple though and because I didn't want to risk losing out of yarn at an inconvenient point I chose to skip the stripes of the original sweater and just make it a simple two-color sweater. This also had the added benefit where I was able to use up all of the purple yarn on the yolk and just go as far as I could go with it before switching to black.

But yeah, the end result?

It's decent!

Like let's be real, my raglan increases are an absolute fucking mess and the shaping on the yolk is a little funny, AND I did make the collar too big (I was so worried my giant head wouldn't fit through so I made it way bigger than it needed to be, but honestly it's better that way than it being way too small. It looks a little silly but it's not the end of the world), and the sleeves ended up being like maybe 4-5 centimeters too long they could've been a smidge shorter.

But aside from that?

I'm honestly really happy with it

Because the fabric is super soft and nice, it's not too bulky, and most importantly, it fits me. It's not obscenely massive on me, it's just the right size.

And really, that's all I wanted. A sweater I'd actually USE, and yeah, I'm gonna wear the hell out of this next fall/winter when the weather gets cold again. It's not perfect, but it's more than good enough for me. And most importantly, I now feel infinitely more confident in maybe using that nicer yarn sometime soon to knit something

Now what the fuck am I gonna do with the leftover yarn 'cause boy howdy do I have a ton left

#Moon posting #Yarncraft Diary #Yarnblr #They really weren't joking when they said crochet eats up more yarn than knitting does #Perhaps I will knit a little pink pillow for my cat with the leftovers

[junmoonhui]

Do Re Mi

Pairing: platonic!seungcheol x reader, romantic!dino x reader

Context: the leader feels bittersweet seeing the maknae enjoy the simple little things in life, something that he wished he would have had now that he's almost 30; inspired by dino and scoups' convo in ITS season 2 ep 2; has the same lore/in the same universe as Soulmates Redefined; (wc: 2.1k)

Warnings: alcohol

"This was fun, but I think I'll head to bed now." Seungkwan said as he let out a yawn and stood from the table. After filming the second season of In The Soop and finishing up Be The Sun, the boys agreed to go on a vacation with some other people—no cameras, just friends and loved ones making the most of their youth.

"I'll go with you." Dino said, turning to face you. "Are you coming to bed with me?"

"In a while," you replied.

"Okay, I'll make some space for you on the bed." Dino brought his lips to your temple before following Seungkwan into the cabin.

"Ah, the maknaes are now going to sleep," Seungcheol said, a tipsy smile on his face. "Speaking of maknaes, where's Vernon?"

"He went to bed earlier with his girlfriend," you replied.

Time slowly creeped deeper into the night. Just two hours ago, the picnic area was buzzing with energy. Right now, most of the boys and your other friends had either resigned themselves to their beds or shifted to the karaoke room, leaving you drinking with Seventeen's leader.

"Ah," he said, not a word more. Seungcheol stared longingly at the soju bottle.

"What's wrong, oppa?" you asked.

"Hmm?" The leader seemed out of it, the soju partly to blame.

"You've been quiet tonight," you said. "Well, not quiet quiet, but you've been more solemn tonight. You don't have to tell me anything, though. I know I'm more close with the younger members, but I'm still your friend and I want to make sure all my oppas are okay."

He gave a dry chuckle. "Thank you, y/n. You don't really have to worry about it. It's okay, really."

"I know you don't want me worrying about it, but I'm always here to listen. I may be younger than you oppa, but I'm not a kid anymore. I can't promise that I can make your problems easier, but if you need to vent, I'm always here, just like how you're always there for us." You softly nudged his shoulder on his.

Seungcheol sighed, hands fidgeting with his beanie. "It's just that sometimes I get pressured being the oldest in Seventeen. I grew up in a household where I was the youngest. I hadn't really pressured myself into setting my own goals when I reach certain ages since I always thought, 'Oh, I have an older brother. I'm still young and I have a lot of time ahead of me.' But then being the oldest in this group puts things into perspective.

"Lately I've been thinking about how I'm almost 30. I usually never compare myself to my hyung because we're leading such different lives. In a lot of ways, I felt like I've achieved so much more than him—being an artist, travelling the world, accomplishing so much in my 20s. But in some ways I also feel like I'm getting too caught up in the achievements in my career. I see my hyung with a stable job and a family, and I think to myself, I want that, too. Lately I've been thinking of personal goals, like finding a partner, having a kid, maybe a home in a quieter part of Seoul.

"I know I still have a lot of time, but when I'm so close to my 30s, I also feel like time is running out when I look at the bigger picture. And when I see Vernon and his girlfriend, and you and Dino, I can't help but feel a bit jealous. Of course, I'm happy that my members are happy, and that you're happy, too. You support us in everything we do, and I'm thankful that Chan and Vernon found someone as patient as the two of you. But sometimes I also feel angry about that—or maybe I'm really just angry at myself. When I was your age, Seventeen was still a fairly new group. There really wasn't much time for vacation or dating. And it makes me jealous sometimes that you guys have so much more than I had. It makes me angry at myself because I feel like at this time, I should also be able to have the things I want on top of my career.

"I look at you and Dino and think about how you guys are on your way to building your life together while also still having time, having the chance to take it as slow as you want. And me, when am I even going to find someone?"

He let out an audible sigh and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. After a deep exhale, he looks at you, signaling for a response.

"Wow," was all you could say, eyes wide with the revelation. "I honestly don't know how to respond to that."

Seungcheol pat your shoulder with a small laugh, his smile a bit more genuine this time. "It's okay, it really felt good to just, say that out loud, you know? My chest feels so much lighter now. Thank you, y/n, really. Chan is so lucky to find someone like you, and we're all lucky to have you in our group, too. I'm sorry for dumping this all on you."

"Hey, no apologizing for venting," you giggled. "That's what friends and drinks are for. Your feelings are valid, oppa. I may not be as old as you now, but I can see where you're coming from. How long have you felt this way?"

He looked up with a sharp inhale, as if in thought. "A few weeks maybe? I hadn't had much time to think about it, we were so busy last year. But after the new year, I realized I'm turning another year older. And I guess I just started to sort of... panic. And even though our company's let us have a bit more freedom after the contract renewal, it's not like I can even jump directly into the life I want. We've been busy and I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues last year that I didn't really have the time to work on my personal goals, let alone even start dating. It's a wonder how you and Dino even found each other."

You shrugged. "It wasn't really planned. It all just... sort of happened. I came to Korea as a college exchange student for a semester. I made a few videos and demo tracks and someone from Pledis picked it up. I really was just supposed to meet the vocal team at that time, and I was really excited to meet them. I had been a Carat for a while, back then. And I guess they just enjoyed the time we spent together and they let me meet the rest of you guys, and that's how I first met Dino in person."

"Wait, when we met you, we weren't allowed to date yet," he reminded.

You smiled as you remembered the story. "We weren't officially dating then. We agreed that with our schedules and the different countries, we were better off as friends. Then he showed up a year later to my graduation day, at that time you guys had already renewed your contract. He said he couldn't bring himself to see other people because he still saw me in them. So he flew all the way to my school and said that he'd be willing to try long distance since we were both focusing on our careers, he really just wanted to be able to call me his. And I said yes because we really worked well as friends, even when I wasn't in Korea anymore. And then I got the job offer from Hybe a few months after graduation, and now I'm happy that we're able to spend a lot more time together while still being able to focus on our careers."

"Sure, make me feel more single," he joked.

"It's not like that!" You protested. "My point is that Dino and I happened out of a series of unexpected circumstances. Any minor change in any of those, and we won't be where we are right now. But we still happened, and I'm grateful for that. What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to pressure yourself to actively build the life you want, at least not right away. Things will fall into place in their own time—or maybe I'm wrong, who knows? But it is possible, and maybe blessings would come into your life when you least expect it."

"I just wish I could've still done something, you know?" He said. "I just feel like I've wasted time, and now I'm looking back at my younger self, and I wish I could be that young again, do some things differently."

"Well, I can't turn back time, oppa," you replied. "But I can give you the same advice Seungkwan gave Chan. Even though you're the oldest Seventeen member, you're the maknae of your family. It's okay to take advantage of that sometimes. In that perspective, you're still young. you're not 30 yet. And even if you turn 30 soon, you'll still have a lot of your life ahead of you. I know it's scary sometimes. There are things I definitely wished I did when I was younger, and there are things that I feel like I want to do but it's too late for me to start on it. But I learned that I can't change the past, and I don't really want to spend every waking moment worrying about the future. I'm slowly learning to let go of things I can't change so that I can ground myself and be able to enjoy the present. A college professor once told me that age is a gift. I may think that getting older means I'm running out of time to start something new, but I'm starting to let myself learn that getting older just means I'm gaining more experience and opportunities to learn about myself and continue to build on what I have. I don't want to force my advice on you, oppa, and I can't guarantee you that things will come into place eventually, but I do hope that you let yourself breathe and have peace of mind. You've come a long way, and I know you still have so much more to achieve."

Seungcheol smiled wider, with true sincerity this time. "Now I'm the one who doesn't know how to respond, except maybe with a thank you. Really, y/n, I'm happy that you're our friend. And I'll try to lighten up on myself. Maybe I've been focusing too much on external things I feel like I should be in control of instead of focusing on myself and my well-being. That really puts things into perspective. And while I still hope to have the life I want someday, I really do hope that I'll get to have some peace of mind and enjoy the life I already have. Thank you."

You smiled at him. "Anytime, oppa."

Later, you snuck into your and Dino's room, hoping not to wake him. He lay on his side of the mattress, one arm on his face and one arm sprawled out on your side, inviting you in. You carefully lifted the sheets and lay your head gently on his arm. Once you were settled, he shifted so that his chest was pressed against your back, his other arm draped over your waist.

"I heard what you said to Coups hyung," he whispered against your hair. "Thank you for taking care of us y/n. Sometimes we lose sense of ourselves and forget how young we still really are."

"You all grew up too fast," you whispered back, thinking of how young they were when they debuted. You took his hand around your waist and raised it to your lips, pressing soft kisses on his knuckles. In return, Dino pressed soft kisses on the back of neck.

"Coups hyung was right," he said. "We're all lucky to have you, not just me. But I'm the luckiest out of all of them, because I get to have you, and build my life together with you."

You giggled softly. "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"All of it," you can practically hear him smirking. "Our room is just beside the picnic area."

You turned to face him, meeting his eyes in the moonlit room. "I meant it all, you know."

He softly pressed his lips to yours, his free hand cupping your face with his thumb caressing your cheek. The arm under your head curved to wrap around your shoulders. He pulled away and looked into your eyes, smiling that small smile of his, revealing the tiny dimples in the corners of his mouth.

"I love you, y/n," he whispered, his warm breath fanning against your lips. His fingers played with your hair. "Always and forever."

"I love you too, Chan-ah. Always and forever."

Tagging: @ontowanderlust @bitchlessdino

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen lee chan #seventeen dino #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #dino x reader #lee chan x reader #dino imagines #lee chan imagines #dino fluff #lee chan fluff #dino drabbles #lee chan drabbles #junmoonhui fics #lee chan #dino #seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #seungcheol fluff #scoups fluff

[punch-love]

12, 19, 21, 25, 27, 28, 29 (real curious about this one), 31, 34, 37,

OKAY fuck that's a lot of questions ik. But like if it's too much ya can answer whichever the ones ya want. Also the <<<40>>>> this question deserves a special place cause I AM FERAL AND BAT SHIT CRAZY TO ANYTHING RELATED TO LOVE-PUNCH.

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

I really enjoy the (singular) episode we've gotten for these two. In the context of the comics, one of my favorites is the one where Wade has to talk Peter out of going too dark-sided, which was a really fun contrast and something that Peter ended up thanking him for which is pretty rare for him.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

I'm very much my own muse, and I mean that in the vainest and most honest way possible.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I can't even begin to count this number. It's a lot. It's like - it's a lot. I really won't post something until I can read through it and not feel the urge to adjust or change anything. I'm a picky reader, so that - is not an easy thing to accomplish. I also have a great beta who will sometimes rewrite portions, reorganize my flow, or pick specific sections that should be rewritten or re-evaluated, and so I'll send a couple of drafts over in that case so - yeah, the number is high. I take the editing stage very seriously.

25. What do you look for in a beta?

I was very lucky to have my beta @maybe-haunted ask to work with me on chapter one of my first posted work, so I've never necessarily looked for one. I've just been very fortunate to have the perfect one find me. I don't ask for creative help often, so the thing I appreciate about my beta (one of many) is that they make me feel very safe sharing something in a very raw, very imperfect state. I only publish polished works, but they've seen my writing at it's roughest and most incomprehensible, and they're always able to be very direct about what does/doesn't work while making me feel comfortable in that experience. I love knowing what's going on in the reader's mind, and they're a very good audience for getting that type of feedback. They also individually comment on all the sections/moments they like or hit really well for them, and that is just - let me tell you. The best part of the editing process is getting to read what they thought about it and getting to experience in real-time how my writing is being ingested by another person weeks before it's ever shown to my bigger audience. I really appreciate them a lot.

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

I don't enjoy them! I really like being the only guy steering the ship. I have never enjoyed collaborative projects. I have talked about writing something with @periodically-puzzled, and they're probably the only person I'd do it with. That being said, I love collaboration within idea sharing and editing, and I've taken a lot of ideas/feedback/snippets from my writing friends and beta before, and I love seeing how the hand of another person influences and changes my writing. I also enjoy seeing my hand in other people's work, but it's the difference between adding spice to the soup and making a soup with someone else. I much prefer adding spice/having spice added then having to share kitchen space.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@periodically-puzzled: funny and immensely clever, such a clear narrative voice, and very intentional with the stories they like to tell. the first time I read their work, I felt like I had found a pearl in a sea of rocks. there's just something very individualistic about how they write. you can see the person behind the wheel and it makes it all that more interesting. also one of the few people to actually trigger me with their writing.

@primewritessmut: gnarly and so violent in a way that actually makes their writing almost bleed with it. there are writers who are like "wow I'm such a psychopath for writing this there must be something wrong with me" but they are literally babies in the face of whatever is happening inside prime's mind. her writing makes me flinch and I really enjoy that experience of not being able to look away. also just, the ability to finish so many interesting and complex stories is always something that impresses me.

@x-gon-give-it: really, immensely obsessed with their current WIP with a mercenary spider-man. the writing is just - incredible. there are passages and bits from it that cycle around my head in a loop. really just cracked peter parker on the sidewalk and made us all look at the inside of his fucked up brain. really very talented at writing violence and like, razor sharp intimacy. I take notes whenever I read one of the new chapters, honestly.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I know you were interested in this answer specifically, but I honestly would not do write a sequel or prequel for anyone else's work. that's just not how my brain works. part of that comes from the fact that I have a complicated, often negative relationship with people creating works inspired from my own, so it's not something I would do to another writer.

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I take liberties by claiming everything I write is inspired by canon even which it's in direct opposition of it.

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

I love it a lot. I read a lot of it. I write a lot of it. I think it's a safe space for people to explore something complicated and/or objectively horrible that is often inspired by real world experiences and fears. I used to say that I wouldn't write non-con, and I still stand by the fact that I probably wouldn't write sexual non-con for my own mental health, but I am exploring a technically not sexual non-con scenario in a one-shot right now.

37. Talk about your current wips.

The not sexual non-con scenario I'm working on is one where Spider-Man goes feral and Wade keeps him in a cage and starves him on purpose to see if he can get Spider-Man to cannibalize him.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

I'm going to be so real, I almost didn't answer this one because I don't like to talk about my endings (even their direct opposites) before I write them, but I did end up thinking about this enough to probably warrant an answer. I think that if (redacted) didn't happen, then they would remain enemies who absolutely hate everything about each other in the way that only bitter ex's really can.

I think that they would know too much about each other and that they would intentionally make each other's lives miserable because of it. They're both very vindictive people who love to hold a grudge, and both of them would feel victimized by how (redacted) went down and would feel like the other person was their personal villain.

I think Wade wouldn't kill Spider-Man, not out of love, but because he'd enjoy hurting him too much, and I think that Spider-Man would break his no-kill rule specifically to shut Wade up sometimes. I think Wade would bring the worst out of Peter, and Peter would make Wade want to destroy the best inside himself. It would be a 24/7 divorce court, but the court is the city and neither party is happy with the verdict and keep on trying to hurt each other to make up for it. I think eventually one of them would leave the city, and they would never see each other again, but the hate would never fully go away - and if they made their way back to each other, it would burn twice as hot. It would be like a full circle moment, then ending with how they started but this time with twice the amount of knowledge and the hate would be actually personal this time. That would be the alternative ending.

#mailbox #ask game #oh the alternative ending to love-punch would be so fun to write but it would end SOOOOO poorly #it's a miracle it ends well at all. is what I'm saying #thanks for the questions some of these were hard to answer but for sure made me think #not sure if that's the alternate ending you wanted to hear about. honestly it surprised me it didn't end with wade killing peter #but like. I don't think he could. by the end. not because he's a good person but because peter wouldn't let him

[iamthecomet]

So we had a massive storm last night and I passed out as soon as I heard the first drop of rain lol, but I didn’t get the chance yesterday to say thank you for your kinda words and caring about the situation. I truly appreciate it🖤

And that it is awesome that you’re going to be writing a book?!? Like insane, I would never be able to, I don’t have the patience or big brain for that. And my school is also doing something for the solar eclipse since it’ll pass right over us for a total of 4 mins lol, and as much as I’d like to see it, I’ll be at a game which is righttt outside the line to see it:(

Also I’m high key jealous that you can crochet, I’ve been dying to learn how, but again I don’t have the patience to do something that would take me forever, but maybe I’ll try who knowss:))

♥♥♥♥ I hope today was a better day, and I'm here if you ever need to talk. I've written book length things before too! I have one that I've re-written about a hundred times that is basically my child, my pride and joy, but I haven't figured out what to do with it yet because I don't particularly want to sell it to a major publisher anymore--but I also don't want it to get lost in the ocean of self-published stuff. It's a story that's really special to me for lots of reasons. Maybe I'll figure out how to put it out there someday, and it will see the light of day. I've never wanted to be anything except a writer (or a rock star, but that's not really in the cards). Really cool that you're getting an actual eclipse. We're really just using it as an excuse to get people to come to the library for a second because we're getting this tiny little sliver of an eclipse. But it'll be fun either way. Bummed that you won't get to experience it though. Sports are fun but at what cost! (joking, of course). Crochet is not my favorite craft to do, I get very easily frustrated with bigger projects for some reason. I grew up knitting. So whenever I crochet I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and things never come out as perfectly as I want them to. (I want to be as good at crochet as I am at knitting but I've been knitting for like 15 more years than I've crocheted, so it's not happening). But! It isn't super hard to learn and you can ABSOLUTELY do it. There are also lots of crochet projects that don't take long at all, so you can make little things really quickly and feel that fun sense of "I finished something!" accomplishment. You should definitely try it out sometime!

#comet comments #mo

[flambeaufelid]

Warrior Cats Chronological Liveblogging Masterpost

Hello, and welcome to my attempt to read through all of Erin Hunter's "Warrior's" (AKA "Warrior Cats") books, in the order shown here. I've previously read basically everything released before the third Dawn of the Clans book, so ~half of these wont be blind reactions, though it's been so long since I read these that I don't remember a lot of them well. Still, understand that this blog will often contain spoilers for books other than the one a post is about, as I reference future material!

Dawn of the clans:

The Sun Trail:

Prologue and chapter 1

...And that's all for now. Hit keep reading if you wanna hear why I'm doing any of this though.

Warrior cats means a lot to me.

Growing up, I had a strange relationship with reading. Until I turned about five and really tried to read a book for the first time, I was convinced that I hated reading. Then once I'd tried it, I loved it, but was convinced that I'd only be able to understand kids books or manga.

Of course, I was wrong. I was more capable than I thought. But bigger, more serious books... they were strangely intimidating to me.

So. One day, me and my sister are at swimming lessons, but there's enough of an age gap that we weren't in the same class. We'd both have to wait like half an hour for each other to be done.

I had made the mistake of not bringing anything to do. But my sister had.

Warriors books. But specifically, the manga.

Warriors having manga spinoffs is one of the weirdest marketing gimmicks ever, but it worked very well on me. A more traditional book might have scared me off.

With no other options, I picked up- if I remember correctly- Tigerstar Sasha book three.

For the record, this is an absolutely CURSED way to get into these books. It was so far disconnected from the main series that it was practically it's own thing. Not to mention it was the finale of this little spin-off.

Still, it was mildly entertaining.

And then a kitten fucking drowns.

That's fine. After all, there's no way they would really kill off a literal kitten. I continued reading.

But it never showed up again.

I reached the end of the book. Kitten still dead.

I leaned back on the uncomfortable poolside bench, mind fucking reeling. It was the most brutal thing I'd ever read. I felt a little sick to my stomach.

But, oh how I wanted more.

I proceeded to read every Warriors manga my sister had brought. Then every manga my library had.

This continued to be a cursed way to read this stuff. The clans are portrayed as distant, ambiguously villainous, and almost irrelevant. The characters the manga feature are fucking bizarre. They occasionally do weird things to the cannon.

But I loved it all. I wanted more.

But I didn't get more. I ran out.

There was no other option. If I wanted to read more Warriors, I'd have to read the books.

...I didn't start with the first one. But I got to it eventually. I got to them all.

I credit Warriors with making me truly love reading. It's a debt I cannot repay. The Erins are responsible for making me the person that I am today.

So it's a shame that. Uh. The books are...

....................not always very good.

In fact, Warriors kinda sucks sometimes. It's worldbuilding is nonsense, it's characters are idiots, and the books are so repetitive that there are tons of scenes you could take out of context, remove the names from, and then show me... And I'd have trouble telling you what arc they were from, much less what specific book.

I've tried to do this whole "read Warriors chronologically" like five times. I don't think I've ever gotten past sun trail.

The hope is that if I make this blog, maybe I'll be able to keep with it enough to get properly re-invested. Not to mention that one of my motivations for wanting to get back into the series is the distant idea that I'll write some fanfic- so, these posts can act as notes about things I found interesting, that I can possibly refer back to.

Also, I've heard some fucking crazy shit about the newer books I've not read. I so desperately want to know the details.

It's a long road I walk now.

#spoilers #warriors #warrior cats #liveblog #masterpost #warriors spoilers #warrior cats spoilers

[coricomile]

I don't follow the cast, promo team, and crew of Stranger Things on anything because anything other than Tumblr on the social media front makes me go "no thank you", so I don't have the frame of reference of those places re: queerbaiting. I've heard that there was promotion of Will/Mike through June and retweets of fanart, but I like the show enough to get excited to watch it, not enough to follow the BTS stuff.

Do I think Will's "coming out" speech in the van to Mike via his relationship with El was mishandled? Yes. (Noah did great. It's just sort of a bad handling of the situation.) Did I think the way Jonathan was looking back at him in the rearview mirror and connecting the dots and then later meeting Will (who still isn't comfortable saying "I'm gay" or whatever form he's decided on- HE'S YOUNG. They're teens, still figuring themselves out, including the labels they pick) where he is and saying "You're my brother and no matter what I will have your back and love you" was important for both of them? Absolutely.

Do I think the fandom expectation that Mike and Will would suddenly become boyfriends is realistic? No. Absolutely not. Mike has had a great big crush on El since day one. His friends are important to him, but as you get older you fumble through balancing friendships with romantic relationships, and sometimes your friends fall to the wayside as you go through that very first love.

Mike got some cardboard development in S4, I'll give it that. But at no point did he show the same development of queer feelings the way Will does. He has been obsessed with El from day one, and Will's crush on Mike has been developed over several seasons. A crush on a straight best friend isn't unheard of. Especially for Will, when that straight best friend has literally helped save his life multiple times.

Is it tired? Yes. There could have been something with Will realizing he needed to move on from those feelings for Mike, and maybe even an incredibly uncomfortable "I love you, but not like that" conversation instead of the "El (I) need/s you" one? Yes.

But it's being put into the same category with Steve and Eddie- both who have only ever shown interest in women- and Robin and Nancy. Robin knows who she wants. She is solid in that. (Yeah, we didn't need the boyfriend bit, but Robin was also looking outside of the personal angst she and Steve had been feeling for their relationships and to the bigger picture and becoming a hero for people that might hate her if they knew her real self, much like Eddie.) And Nancy has never once shown interest in women. She's perpetually been the top point of a het love triangle since day one, and will (and should) probably drop all the boys for her journalism career.

Some of it was handled sloppy re: Will. But expecting all the canonically straight characters to go "lol, psych, super gay" is unrealistic and bad writing. Yeah, Will deserved a love interest that loves him back, but he's been in love with Mike for most of his adolescence and that takes time to move on from.

#hot take #stranger things spoilers #stranger things #will byers #also hi yes bi #don't come at me for hating on my own folk

[sadlittlestray]

health vent

i'm very lucky i found a good PT literally 60 seconds from where i live who understands and respects CFS and is willing to learn about hEDS and help me with increasing my joint stability so i don't constantly pull things out of place standing stock still and maybe reduce my hip/knee pain etc. etc. but at the same time we still haven't found a good balance between making progress vs. triggering PEM and my health in general is taking a very bad turn since starting PT :( my POTS symptoms are a lot worse than they were before even though i'm working to increase my cardio endurance (verrry slowly... there will be someone three times my age just flyin by on the elliptical next to me without much perceived trouble meanwhile i can't go above 3 MPH (average walking speed for adults) without my heart rate exceeding 200 BPM right away and triggering my asthma and it still gets that high by the time i've done 5 minutes at that speed lol). in general my fatigue is the worst it's been in years. i've had to start using more aids to get anything done (cane, shower chair, impact mats, ergonomic kitchen tools, using chairs more often) and lately i can't even eat the few things i keep in the house that i can a) afford b) tolerate and c) prepare reliably. i've always had to eat slow but lately i've had to take several hours to eat meals that i used to take maybe 30 minutes to eat before (and those are the things that are most agreeable to my stomach) because my motility issues are so much worse than they ever have been, eating more than a couple bites makes me feel fucking awful but i also feel worse when i haven't eaten obviously. and i've started noticing that sometimes meals will cause my heart to start racing, though i haven't been able to pin down a pattern so i'm not sure what the cause is yet or if it's even anything i can control. my sensory issues are so much worse, too - it's gotten better with age to an extent, but i've also worked really hard to challenge myself to periodically try things i've not liked in the past and i've expanded my horizons quite a bit. but lately i've been averse to foods that are normally fine so much that it causes me full-body pain until it's out of my mouth so a lot of times i've gone to prepare something i normally eat and not only does it hurt digestive-ways but also sensory-ways so i can't eat it at all (or have to spend even more time picking out whatever is causing the problem and be on edge the whole time that i missed something). i had overwhelming sensory issues as a kid but i think i forgot just how viscerally bad it was lol. re: the motility issues i need to start eating smaller meals more frequently but that's even more time preparing things and i can't currently realistically afford many ready-to-eat foods that i can actually tolerate, everything i can scrape together needs to be prepared in some way (even if with just microwaving or boiling water or chucking it in a rice cooker). i can't even go to the store by myself anymore and i know i'll figure it out but with the few hours and little energy i have to do anything and the unreliability of whether or not i can drive anywhere myself (used to be like two or three times a month i would spend my best energy days to drive to the store, i've gone to the store one (1) time since starting PT in december) this is a bigger task than it should be and with everything else going on i feel like i'm in freefall... i'm very grateful i finally have a foothold to get into a doctor's office much less get them to maybe listen a little sometimes if they're nice and they feel like it. but it's been 13 years since i've been saying something's *really* wrong and while i've done my best to make peace with my body and health it's still just a lot to deal with sometimes

#crow.txt #medical mention / #food mention / #negative / #ask to tag / #i'm tired so sorry for the stream-of-consciousness wall of text. such is the way #cfs tag #eds tag #pots tag

[dwynwenscottage]

I did complete my assignment. I was in bed for 3am. I felt so happy that I pushed myself to complete it after I had been in and out of sleep for the last 48 hours after a very intense autistic... I'm going to call it overload rather than a 'meltdown' because a meltdown doesn't really encapsulate what it is for me and, in my opinion, sounds too childish and 'blame-y'. Overload is what it is to me. It's a complete 'too much' of everything at once that makes me have to sit on the floor and scratch at the floor and try to hold on for dear life as all my muscles tense and the world goes red like a big blister in my brain. Then, it's like 1 minute of complete silence and peace, then deep depression and non-stop sleeping. No one sees this, so it's much easier to think that Mask Me can not possibly be disabled. Don't worry, we're all a little on the spectrum : ) you're not alone, sometimes, I'm a bit anxious too and I have a cup of tea and I feel better ! : ) maybe try it! : )

Anyway, I did my assignment. Then, as my report said, my memory issues are a bitch and they're shot to SHIT (they genuinely said that Drs are real potty mouths these days) I forgot to save the document with my entire assignment on it. I went to bed, and Windows decided to force an update and completely wipe the assignment so that it's unrecoverable. Cue; 'why are you so fucking stupid' trauma, and voila, you have overload attack number 3 of the week.

Luckily my lecturers were nice as my report had my back (thanks buddy for telling people the ways in which I actually am, under the Equality Act 2010, actually disabled and not just a little quirky on the spectrum we are all on). I have an extension, and I'll write the whole thing again.

In a way, I'm incredibly thankful for the diagnosis, but living a life of being told you're ditsy, stupid, careless, and irresponsible is one heck of a hard thing to unlearn even if you have a medical report stating significant memory problems. It's so hard to accept. I can remember my favorite velcro pink shoes at 4, and what the tomatoes that my neighbors grew in their garden tasted like as a toddler. But yesterday, I forgot where to put the plates. I dropped another glass. I didn't know which tap was the cold one. I forgot to save the assignment I had worked on all week, and now it's gone. I've lost the belief that if I just fixed my trauma, it would be all healed and my memory would come back, but you know what, maybe it's ok to accept this is how I am and it's part of a bigger whole that I need to re-learn to love. I want to love my autistic self whilst also recognising that I am disabled, and that's ok. It's going to take time.

#autism #autism diagnosis #autism diary #scream into the void

[pop-punklouis]

Hi babe 💞

When we first introduced our cats we were scared my oldest would attack my younger one. Simply bc my oldest is bigger and moodier. We were shocked to see it's the younger one recklessly being a bully like maybe she's trying to defend herself by making it seem like she's tough 😭 I'll definitely send you pics of them when we get properly introduced!!

Attachment theory kinda can be connected to SO MANY other aspects of you and your mind I half feel like you can trace almost every little issue/personality trait back to it.

Nooo why are you literally me I get stressed if I'm not at least somewhat good at something like I'm embarrassed to NOT be good at it or look like I'm failing 💀 not even gonna start on the structure thing I deadass would be an unmoving blob on my couch if external pressure and structure didn't exist.

Yes yes yes! Some of my best memories are connected with the fandom and fandom friends who are like family to me. I hope I'll be able to see some other fandom friends at some point in my life too 💓

No please I'm always excited to hear about people's favorite shows! I love sci Fi and psych thrillers too! I'm gonna take all those shows as recs. I've been meaning to watch midnight mass in particular. Though I think I kinda end up watching more sitcoms? I'm drawn to mystery and sci Fi for sure but most times find that I don't have the mental energy to invest in them? So in that sense, my fav shows include The good place, stranger things, supernatural (I deserve jail for that one but unfortunately I got attached over time) black mirror (I've no excuse).

For today's question: what's your favorite food?

Have a wonderful sunday love xx

~🌱

hiiiii love 🤍

yeah younger cats can be ruthless!! my older cat hissed at my younger cat when he was a kitten and it scared him pretty badly. ever since then i joke that he’s paying him back lmao

i’ve never delved super deep into attachment theory, but it doesn’t surprise me that it’s so intertwined with our lives and who we are/how we act. i need to look into it moreeee

djdkdklf love how we both get anxiety just thinking of not being good at something right away 💀 it’s so stressful bc i’m such a perfectionist on top of it rippp i don’t know how people just pick up instruments and teach themselves. my brain could never. my anxiety could never. and my structured ass (like yourself) could never lmao.

i hope you’ll be able to see other fandom friends as well 💕 it’s always so worth the wait imo bc it’s just such a special time finally meeting in person and experiencing things irl together x

oooo i get that re: sitcoms. sometimes my brain cannot absorb any real information so watching something light and funny allows me to turn my mind off for a little while. but most times i’m a masochist and will force myself to watch like three complex shows at once. like right now i’m still trying to finish all of Lost and Dexter while starting 1899. why don’t i do it one at a time? beats me! but here i am 💀 i wish i loved stranger things the same way i did the first two seasons. it’s just frustrated me so much with how they’ve crafted the story in later seasons rip but supernatural pls djdkdkdkf i never got into supernatural but sometimes i wish i did for the memes. black mirror used to be one of my favs but again!! they just!! did it so dirty!! what’s one of your fav black mirror episodes? i think white bear and white christmas are two that’s always stuck with me. and YES midnight mass is one of the best shows i’ve watched in recent years. i beg you to watch it 🧎🏼‍♀️ the dialogue by itself is gorgeous x

def think my favorite food is mac and cheese. i can have that anytime anywhere. i never get tired of it. if it’s on a restaurant menu? bet your ass i’m ordering it even if it’s an extra side. i also love chinese food. could eat that every day as well i think. what about youuuu? 🤍

hope you had a great monday, babe!! x

#holiday pal 1 #grey

[devilfic]

Oh right!!! I vaguely remember the zack thing being a meme or something like that. When i saw it i was like... okay?? Why is this suddenly becoming a thing?? But yeah it was pretty nice.

I have listened to stray kids, yeah. I think back door is a pretty cool song, and i've heard little bits of god's menu. I haven't listened to any of their other songs though, but i'll try and let you know.

I totally understand what you mean by being a bit too animated but if you don't like his gaming stuff, then i really have to recommend you his bigger projects! Like his latest "in space with markiplier" is pretty cool. It's basically a dating game with the choose-your-own-adventure kind of a deal, except it's not a dating game (unless we're talking about his other project called "a date with markiplier" in which the scenario really is a date). Personally, i think they are very fun. If you're not into it, that's fine tho!

Hmmm.... i think i've been drawing for like... 8 years now? It started with anime, as with many people. And i used to draw like, every day, but these days i don't draw that much. It's nice to see how much i've improved over the years though, i'm sure you know that feeling!!

Honestly, i don't feel okay. Have you ever just... made a decision out of kindness and over-confidence, then later regretting it? Even though you had good intentions?? Yeah, that's basically what happened. But i have to go through with this particular decision until october, and it's draining me. Hhhhhh sorry if i'm bothering you with my problems....

Anyway, WHAT. I cannot believe i accidentally gave you the idea to write those headcanons?? Oh my god. Okay. Uhhhhhh now i guess i'm gonna put my stranger things request ideas for another time. I'm still gonna send you a request of a different fandom in another ask. It's... well... i'm pretty sure it's something that'll make you go like "Yep.. i thought so..."

Ya know, i recently finished "our flag means death" which you probably have heard of, or even watched already. And it made me realize that maybe i have a type when it comes to fictional characters. A lot of characters i like (in a kinda romantic way) are long-haired men, sometimes with a dark colored aesthetic, as seen from stranger things's eddie, my hero academia's aizawa, and our flag means death's blackbeard. Now... i dont know what to do with this information haha.. but oh well, do you have a type for fictional people??

-cain

(also, i'm glad you don't mind long asks! i just find it nice, like writing a letter to someone, so yeah)

those were good times, I'm telling ya ^^

and please do, they've got some bangers I will say

actually you know what,,, I'd been intending to watch those big projects of his at some point because the amount of effort and quality it looks like he put into them is WILD. my friend was really pumped about in space with markiplier earlier this year because she's been a fan of his for years, and it looks really fun. should I start with the older ones and work my way up or does it not really matter (I'm thinking about easter eggs and such)?

oh wow that's impressive!! and drawing everyday, I bet you've got tons of your old stuff around to look at and reminisce over ^^ but I super get ya, I'm a big advocator for keeping ur old art no matter if you think it's cringe or not because one day you'll really want to look back on it. I've still got old fics from when I was younger that I look at to see how much I've improved

you're not bothering me at all! I asked cause I wanted to know, and yeah ;-; I've been in your place before. committing to something out of kindness is always a great idea until you realize,,, some days will be more difficult to show up for than others. I commend you for doing your best to try and see it through, and if it really gets too much, please don't force yourself to keep going. I dunno your exact situation but nothing is worth sacrificing your own physical/mental health over

no you don't have to!! honestly, request whatever you like. you just inspired me to do that one because I hadn't thought of doing group headcanons for them yet. but also I did see your request and think exactly that asjksjfsf I'm excited though. any reason to dig that story up is a good one

I GET WHAT YOU MEAN. the dark-haired brooders have taken several generations of simps by storm, I being one of them. my type isn't too different from you. I actually made a comprehensive list of characters I like (most I simp for, some I just admire) and most of them are either people with anger issues/murderous tendencies or sarcastic charmers. the odd sunshine is thrown in there every once in a while *cough cough* legoshi *cough cough* noe archiviste *cough cough* prompto. man, woman, whatever you are... ur not safe from me if u fall into one of these categories. according to my friends, I also just straight up have a thing for blonds. it's not intentional O.o

#cainsau #I've been meaning to watch our flag means death but I'm catching up on what we do in the shadows rn! #I have seen that scene where blackbeard goes 'oh no. I'm blackbeard' and then shushes the other guy and WHEW! #I AM PERCEIVING #mjanswers

[cajuice]

a letter, an apology and an excuse.

Dear old love,

please be happy. Happy people usually don't come back at decisions and you have already decided I no longer serve you. For a while, this won't be totally fine be me, but I'll survive, I promise. Be happy because I need you to not need me anymore; I need help keeping away from you because love sometimes doesn't work out - but it survives deep inside - and within I still feel a dying flame aching for you. And you're sad and think about coming back, my heart probably will take you.

Be happy in an unnerving way, the happy kind happiness that bothers and is loud and is brave and is absurd and obscene! Be obscene as you always wanted. Public small sexual acts, grab your next girlfriend's boob if she allows, but don't forget to hold her hand. Do those things you did to me - but not all of them. Don't hurt her. Please. Be happy!

Find a cat that loves you like you wanted to. I've always been "a dog kinda gal", kinda sappy and energetic all around yet lazy and hungry when there's time for lacking. Buy that horrible couch you wanted and I didn't, paint that wall red with gold stamps. Dye your hair again. Lately, I saw you just got your eyebrows pierced like you would when I told you it was not the greatest idea. You kinda look good and, don't forget, be happy.

I've always been happy - even in our bad days - I just guess I grew tired of fitting in little pots when I actually am a bigger plant. A rose tree trying to spread my branches all over your garden. Those little ceramic pots of yours used to suffocate me and I went rebel. I went rebel and I went cold and I started to slowly die. I'm alive now, if you mind to mind. I'm beginning to feel happy again after we spread apart and you left.

The apartment is not the same. I'm thinking of painting the walls blue like I told you I wanted. I bought a couch, a chair, a table, some plants, a new TV and still there's so much left to buy! The dog misses you but every day a little less. We go for daily walks, she gets tired easily and not as easy as before now! She never not sleep with me, it's kinda funny sometimes how she spasms softy, her little feet napping against my back as she hastily cuddles me - like you used to. Sometimes she has nightmares and so do I, but we're here for each other and we're always by each other's side.

I go to the gym and it's tiring but I'm happy. I'm happy because of the hormones, I went back to the meds, they're not as strong as they were before but here we are again! Sometimes I sleep with the lights on but I'm happy. I'm on my med, gym and therapy in check and I'm growing happy.

The dying rose tree is coming slowly back to life. Day to day life can often be hard and tiring and I'm aware I have to make time to have time to time. I'm thinking about starting to paint again and maybe do some hiking like I always told you! I'm re-discovering myself like I would, like I always should when you were suffocating me. Like I said, love sometimes doesn't work out - but it doesn't mean it's dead. The day I chose to love me than loving you I realized I should be doing this for a while. It wasn't completely your fault, I made some terrible mistakes either and for that, I am sorry.

Anyway, I hope you're happy. Happy people usually don't come back at decisions and I have already decided that you no longer serve me! You don't fit in my life, you don't match my expectations and certainly you're not into putting as much work as I am mentally and physically in the relationship and in myself. Well, yourself! I hope you're happy being you and I am starting to feel happy being me again.

And that's it! Travel safe through this life, I'll always leave a dying spark calling out for our old times...

love always, your little beam of light.

[greenygreenland]

Dream A Little Dream Of Me: Norman x Reader

-MANGA SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! 

-NOTE: YOU’RE BOTH AGED UP SO DON’T START TELLING ME FBI’S GONNA COME TO MY DOOR 😂😂

-THE TIMELINE IS A BIT MESSED UP SO JUST IGNORE IT COMPLETELY AND DON'T ASK ME LOL

-also, is it just me or do thick eyebrows look really cute??? Norman has pretty thick brows compared everyone else and I think they're cute 

WARNINGS: Kissing lol

Summary: You finally see Norman again.

Life had to be the scariest thing you'd ever faced. It threw the bad, the good, the everything your way until you could barely stand. Until you were left broken and mangled and shattered. Life was scary. It was cruel. Yet somehow, today was different.

You thought it was a dream. After all, how could it be reality when the boy in front of you died a year and some months ago? He had been shipped out, left for dead because it was a part of his stupid escape plan.

So how was it he stood before you? Breathing? Smiling? Living?

The office door closed behind you with a soft click. It bathed the room in silence, as if for a moment, the world decided to give you a second to breathe. A second to take in the wonderous sight before you.

The boy's name stuck in your throat. He had changed, not only in height, but stature and appearance. Norman was older, and he grew up to be more handsome than any runway model could ever be.

"(Y/n)," he gently said. "I'm glad you're well."

That was all it took. One sentence and you tackled him in the tightest hug your trembling arms could muster. "Norman...!" To have his arms around you, to hear the beating of his heart--it was a relief. A miracle sent by the gods. "You’re so stupid!"

No, he was more than stupid. He had to be the dumbest boy alive to think that it was okay to sacrifice himself for the sake of your family. You all were supposed to escape together just like Emma said. No one was supposed to be left behind, yet Norman--bless his heart--acted on his own.

You hugged him as if he would disappear if you let go. "We were all supposed to leave together. But you--I thought you--shipped out--and then--!" You chocked on your words. What more could you say anyway?

You buried your face in the crook of his neck. The muffled sob that ripped through your throat was more than Norman could handle. His knees went weak and you both slowly sunk to the floor in a heap. 

"I'm here." he gently said. "I'm not going anywhere (Y/n)."

Despite the steadiness in Norman's voice, his shoulders hitched, and he sniffled. "I'm here." he repeated. "I-I'm here." It sounded like he were reassuring himself that he wouldn't leave you so soon, as if he were scared too. Not for the way you sobbed and sobbed, but for the ache in his heart that seemed to beat in sync with yours.

Slowly, your sobs turned to quiet sniffles, which then silenced into nothing but tiny hiccups. You basked in Norman's warm embrace. He didn't hold you too tightly, as if he were afraid it would shatter you to pieces. Instead, he pulled you close to his side and leaned on his desk behind.

You rested your head on his chest, taking the time to memorise his scent. Parchment, the woods, and old books. You liked that, it was comforting to know he still smelled the same. On the other hand, his voice wasn’t as smooth or rounded as it once was. It was icy. No one seemed to notice that tiny sharpness that hit the end of each note he spoke. You wondered what could've made his kind heart harden.

Sure, Norman was still the same Norman you remembered, but something about the way he acted seemed off. He was clingy, much more than he ever was. Maybe he just missed you? No, that couldn't be right. Norman acted as if he were running out of time. He held you close and gently, as if these would be the last moments you'd see each other again. As if there wouldn't be a tomorrow.

You slowly pulled away to get a good look at Norman's face. His chin was slightly pointier, his cheeks less chubby and full. His lips twitched upwards into a comforting smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes because he looked so overwhelmingly tired. Your poor boy probably worked day and night to keep the hideout on its feet. It must be hard on him, you thought. Especially since he was revered as a god.

Norman's brows raised. "What's wrong?"

You took his thin hands in your own and gave them a good squeeze. "It's nothing. What about you?"

Ah yes, small talk. The perfect way to avoid any question thrown your way. Norman knew you well, sometimes even more than himself. When you asked simple questions such as these, that meant your mind laid elsewhere in a land he could never reach. Norman took that as a hint to drop the subject.

For now.

He wondered what invisible weight laid on your shoulders. Was it something as heavy as his? Perhaps your weight was worse and it ate away at you. Norman wished he could take that weight away and relieve you of that pain. He'd carry it all if he could, and it didn't matter to him if he'd die trying. This was you he was thinking about. He'd do anything for you.

"I've been okay," Norman vaguely responded. "But I have been busy, so I find it difficult to sleep sometimes.”

Norman liked to be honest, but you knew it was because that helped him figure out what was wrong with you. It was a game of tag. In this case being 'it' meant figuring out each others' worries through a back-and-forth match.

"You haven't been sleeping enough?" Your voice came out rather quiet as you traced invisible circles over the back of his hands. "Is that because you have so much work? Or do you refuse to get help?" Norman sat in a still silence and you sighed.

Of course. 

This was your Norman after all. He always shouldered a burden too big for his shoulders to carry. It was always something so heavy, so terribly hard to balance by himself. If that burden grew any bigger, it would collapse, and that would be his downfall. But you wouldn't let that happen to your Norman. No, no, no. You'd take that burden from him, steal it if you had to, and be his crutch.

"What have you been doing here?" you quickly added. "As 'William Minerva', I mean?"

Norman looked unbearably uncomfortable. That little frown tugging at the edge of his lips was a tell-tale sign. “I’ve been getting a lot done." he carefully said. "In fact, I’ve figured out a way to end this. Once and for all.” 

Norman began by explaining the first phase of his plan. The first phase had long been in motion. It started with the indiscriminate burning of cattle facilities, then the gathering of information, and continued on to pave the way for all the other phases you didn’t care to hear about.

The first few steps weren't too bad, but the final act in Norman's plan made your skin crawl. You half-wished you hadn’t asked him anything to begin with. Maybe it would have spared your appetite. Your grip on his thin hands loosened and loosened until your hands rested on your lap.

Norman wasn't so little anymore. He had grown up just a bit, but not in the way you wished to see. How could he think of something so cold-hearted and cruel? The extermination of all demons in Neverland was an act of genocide. If you re-called correctly, it was also considered a war crime.

Norman was smarter than that. He understood the consequence he'd have to face if that were the path he walked right? He understood that there were still other options right? Maybe you heard him wrong.

No.

You had to have heard him wrong. Norman wasn't ruthless like that. He was a ball of sunshine that made you smile whenever you were together.

"I see..." You tightly smiled. "So that's your plan on freeing everyone?" Norman nodded with a seriousness that took you back to the time he left everything to you and Ray and Emma. 

You weren't mistaken then. Norman truly meant everything he said.

"Yes, that is my plan. It's been taking me a little longer than expected to set it in motion. I've decided to officially start tomorrow."

Tomorrow? 

Your breath hitched. "Don't you think that's a bit hasty? What if...what if something goes wrong?" Norman smiled. It was hollow and wry and everything that he wasn't. "Don't worry. Fortunately, I've always been pretty good at getting what I want." You didn't return the smile, and you didn't want to say why.

Norman was quick to catch on. But of course he would catch on so quickly, this was Norman. Your Norman.

"Do you have a problem with my plan?" he inquired. You shook your head. "No, it's...it's not that." Yes, it was that. Your plan is dangerous even if it is good, you thought. Innocent lives wouldn't be spared, and that would spell an unfair fate for the demons who ate to survive.

You wanted to tell Norman why his plan was wrong, and why he didn't have to be so unforgiving about it. But then what? Why would he listen when you didn't have any better ideas? He seemed to have his mind set anyway, so no half-baked ideas would make a difference. And besides, he was the smartest person you knew. Maybe that was the only way out of the terrible fate all you cattle children faced.

"If you're okay with my plan," Norman said, "then what's bothering you (Y/n)?"

"It's still a lot for me to take in," you admitted with a plastic smile. "I guess I'm just shocked that you're, well, here." Norman smiled, this time with a genuine warmth. "I understand." He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. "I'll see you at dinner."

Your cheeks burned. How bold of him. "Y-yeah, I'll see you at dinner." Norman let out a cute little chuckle that made your heart beat a little louder than it was supposed to. You hauled yourself off the floor and made your way to the door. Norman followed.

You flashed him a nervous smile, one that mixed in with your muddled worry and anxiousness. You glanced at his bright eyes. For a moment, they seemed to dim like the setting sun. It reminded you of Mama. When no one looked at her, she didn’t smile. She always looked so sad when she sat by herself, and maybe that was because she was. 

"(Y/n)?"

Your fingers brushed against the doorknob. “Hm?”

"I want nothing more than to protect you and our family. I know you don't fully agree with me," his expression darkened. "But this is the way--the only way we can save everyone without spilling a single drop of blood."

For a moment, you forgot who you were speaking to. This wasn't the same boy you begged to run away with before he got shipped out. This wasn't the same boy who gently tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and sweetly complimented you. This boy--did you truly still know him? Was he still the Norman you grew up with and fell head-over-heels for?

You blinked and that dark look washed itself off his face. He strode up to you and placed a hand on your cheek--just like the day he was supposed to be harvested. Norman’s eyes were soft, softer than any blanket, and his lips pursed into a gentle frown. With his thumb, he wiped a stray tear away. 

Why were you crying?

"Norman..." You couldn’t find the right words. There were none that could explain the suffering you endured in silence. You worried, not only for Norman, but your family and all those other people in the world you didn’t know about. Norman’s plan--oh how stupid it was--had it changed him? Had it forced him to guard his heart to keep a still mind? 

You wondered what he endured while you went on your crazy adventures. At least you had your family, and Yuugo, Lucas, and all your friends. But Norman? He didn’t have anyone but himself. He carried the whole world. Alone. Had he been scared? Worried? Angry that no one came for him? Your heart clenched at the thought. 

"Smile,” Norman said. “It’s okay, I promise. I'm here." He gathered you in his arms and you didn’t have the heart to protest. “How?” you whispered. “How were you able to do all this on your own?” Norman helplessly shrugged. “You could say I have connections, either that or I’m just lucky.”

“What will you do after this is all over?”

Norman went still again, as if he couldn’t answer your question. You heaved in a shaky breath. If Norman wasn’t going to give you a straight answer, then you’d squeeze it out of him. “Did anything else happen to you? I’m sure there’s a catch, isn’t there?” 

It was like someone flipped a switch. One moment, you were a mess of tears, sorrow, and anguish. Now, something menacing laid in your voice. It was almost threatening, as if you were indirectly telling Norman to dare avoid the question. “I don’t want you dying trying to be everything at once,” you said. “Here you’re revered as a god, and if I know you, then it’s plain that you set yourself up like that. Don’t tell me you plan to die on us again.”

He stiffened.

“I know you Norman, don’t forget that. And because I love you, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself. I admit, I don’t know why you act like you’re going to leave again, but I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.” You pulled away and took his hands in yours. A small smile of reassurance made its way up your lips, but Norman didn’t return it. 

No, he couldn’t. And despite all he did, he couldn’t lie straight to your face. Not like this.

Dinner cheered you up. The smiles and laughter that your family shared with Norman made you feel just a little bit better. But how long would it last? And how long would those smiles stay present? All the questions swarming in your mind made you feel sick to your stomach. There was too much to think about, and too little time to answer them.

You forced down the last of your food with a sigh and brought the plate to its respectful place. Everyone was too busy chatting and catching up to notice, but that was fine. It was better that way. 

You made your way to a secluded walkway. It was in one of the calmer areas of the hideout that overlooked the lower levels. It was quiet, save for the distant chatter of Hayato and his friends. He let out a bright laugh that echoed through the vacant walkways. What a shame it would be to hear that disappear.

“So this is where you went.” 

“I told you she’d be here.”

You whipped around in alarm. “Ray, Emma!” 

Ray sharply looked you up and down. He raised a brow and you squirmed under his gaze. He gently bumped shoulders with you. “What’s wrong with you?” 

You absentmindedly shrugged. “Nothing.” 

“That’s what someone who’s not okay would say.” Emma noted. She settled by your side on the railing and flashed a bright smile. “You were so quiet at dinner today.” 

You shook your head. Que another absentminded shrug and plastic smile. “I guess I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay.” 

Ray sighed. “Everyone but you?” He leaned against the railing next to you. “Did you and Norman talk at all?”

You froze. ‘Yes’, was what you wanted to say, but no sound came out. The image of Norman’s matured face, the way his his soft lips hit your own, and his stupidly tall build crossed your mind. 

Emma let out a gasp and slapped a hand over her mouth. “Ah!” she cried. “You’re all red!” You covered your hands with your face, ignoring Ray’s curious stare.

“What did you two talk about in his office anyway? Or should I say, do?” The glint in Ray’s eyes had subtext you didn’t want to recite out loud. “Rayyyyy,” you grumbled, “shut up.” He sent you a teasing grin as Emma frowned in confusion. “I don’t get it.” 

“You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Yeah, it’s grown up stuff.”

You ignored the warmth spreading to your cheeks and elbowed Ray. “Don’t say it like ‘that’! Now you make it sound like something else!” 

He daringly raised a brow. “Like what?” You ran a hand over your scorching face. It was a miracle you weren’t on fire. “No, no, I’m not answering you!” 

You shared a good laugh and a comfortable silence began to settle, blanketing your shoulders in a lightness that you hadn’t felt in a while. 

Emma softly smiled. “I’m glad we found you.” she admitted. “You looked really sad all by yourself out here.” Ray nodded with a small snort. “Yeah, talk about depressing. But seriously though, did something..?”

Of course these two would see through your façade. Of course they’d understand something was wrong. They were your family, and they didn’t deserve your silence. Your smile shattered. “I don’t know if Norman told you about his plan yet, but it’s...it’s bad. Sure, the demons have done some terrible things to us, but that doesn’t mean all of them are guilty. I want to stop him, but I don’t know how.” 

Emma nodded in agreement. “He told us earlier and I don’t like it either.” she firmly said. “Ray and I talked it over and we have a plan, but it’s risky. Like, really risky. It has to do with the Seven Walls and...” 

You held on to every word Emma and Ray spoke. Risky was your middle name. Well, not actually, but it was something that became your friend. You and your family looked death in the face too many times to count. What would be another?

By the end of it, you were sure this new plan would change Norman’s mind, or at least convince him to give up the whole ‘genocide’ thing. It was decided by Ray that tomorrow, you’d all talk to Norman. Things seemed to be looking up. No, they had to be.

------------

The halls were empty and you were alone. How was it you got lost in the first place? You made sure to have every twist and turn memorised, so why did you end up in the wrong corridor twice? Ray would surely tease you for getting lost. What an absolute--

You slammed into someone’s chest. A yelp escaped your throat as the person in question lost his footing. He sucked in a sharp breath and went tumbling straight into you. Your back hit the ground as the boy threw out his arms on either side of your head to brace himself. You didn’t need a name to know who you had tumbled into. Light hair, soft eyes, fancy waistcoat and suit. 

“Norman?”

He hovered over you with wide eyes. His lips were inches from yours and he was just so, so close. 

Thump, thump, thump.

Your heartbeat was so gosh dang loud. Could he hear it? Could he see the way your face burned red? 

“Uhm--I--I--uh--” 

Why wasn’t he moving? Why weren’t you moving? Why was it so hard to look him in the eyes? A nervous smile broke out across Norman’s lips. He pushed himself off of you and offered out a hand. You gingerly took it.

“Sorry.” Norman said, helping you to your feet. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you okay?” Your gaze darted from his lips to his dazzling eyes and then to his cheeks dusted in red. Your heart wouldn’t stop slamming against your chest. It kept going, and going until you felt like you were about to burst. 

“Sh-shouldn’t I be asking you that?” you retorted. “I’m not the one who--you know...gets sick all the time.” You weren’t sure why you said it like that, or why that made Norman smile so cutely, but he was smiling. That made your heart flutter. You glanced around the corridor a few times, and somehow, you kept finding focus on his lips. 

What was wrong with you?

Norman caught on fast--like he always did. “Oh I see,” he said with a low chuckle. You swallowed. His voice really did deepen (but you kind of liked it). For a moment, you thought he caught onto your staring, but instead of commenting on it, he intertwined his hand with yours and led you through the winding halls. 

“Don’t tell Ray I got lost.” you muttered. Norman laughed and it was like the sound of happiness itself. “I won’t.” 

The halls all looked the exact same: cream coloured paint, nature-like decorations, and numbered wooden doors. You forgot what number your room was, so that was probably why you got lost. Norman took a sharp left where you recalled should be a right instead. “Wait isn’t it that way?”

“I have something to give you, so we’re going to make a quick detour.” Norman’s cheeks dusted pink and he looked the slightest bit nervous. “What is it you want to show me?” He flashed you a contagious smile. “It’s a surprise.” 

“What kind of surprise?”

“I can’t tell you,” he said with a chuckle, “that’s why it’s called a surprise.”

When you got to his office, you were nervous. Surprises were fun, yes, but in a world where nearly getting eaten by wild demons fell into the category of ‘surprise’, you learned not to like them very much.

Norman closed the door behind you and it softly clicked shut. Okay, you thought. So he was locking the door and making his way over to his desk. Okay, that’s fine. Norman shuffled through a cabinet, that nervous look still on his face. Okay, okay, nothing wrong here. He gently shut the drawer, and as he walked out from behind his desk, you took note of the small little box he fiddled with. 

Okay. Okay. Box. Nervous. Locked door. Did he not want anyone to interrupt whatever he was about to do? 

Norman heaved in a deep breath. A really, really, really deep breath. “(Y/n), I have never met anyone else like you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, and you’re beautiful and kind.” He sunk to one knee and opened the little box. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!”

---------

You jolted awake with a start. 

“Sorry,” Norman said. He scribbled a few words down in his notebook. “Did I wake you?” 

Ah, that’s right. After you talked with Emma and Ray, you all met up with Norman and hung out for a bit. But when had you gotten to his office? Much less, fallen asleep? You rubbed your eyes with a shake of your head. Judging by the tired look on Norman’s face, it was way past bedtime.

The heavy cloak around your shoulders offered a welcoming warmth. It smelled like books. It smelled like parchment and ink. It smelled like Norman and it was comforting. 

He glanced up from his notebook and curiously met your gaze. “What are you smiling at?” The dream popped up in your mind and your smile grew. “I had a good dream.” 

“What was it about?” he inquired without looking up.

“You.” 

The scratch of the pencil froze and he met your gaze. “You had a dream about me?” Your cheeks flushed. “Yeah, and you proposed.” Norman’s back went rigid and he turned as red as an apple. “I-I pro--proposed to you?” he stammered. You snickered, a smug smile tugging on your lips. “It was really sweet. And if you’re wondering, I said yes. I was going to kiss you, but then I woke up.” You stood up with a sigh. “It was disappointing, but that’s okay.” 

You let out a small laugh and neatly folded Norman’s cloak. You left it on the couch and made your way across the room. “That’s a nice notebook.” you said. “What’re you writing about?”

Norman stilled and closed the book with a smile. “It’s nothing special.” He put the pencil down ever so quietly and stood. “Do you seek my affections?” he inquired. You settled on the wall. “Don’t you have work to do?” Norman looked down at you. His fringe brushed across his eyelashes, and he loosened his tie. Slowly.

Your heart steadily drummed against your chest. “What are you doing?” The false innocence in your voice caused Norman to chuckle lowly. He caressed your cheek with a feather-light touch. “Well, you did say you were disappointed right? Why don’t I make it up to you?” 

He rested an arm on the wall with a sly smirk. Your lips connected and it made your stomach flip-flop. The kiss was slow, it was sweet. You found yourself pulling him closer, running your hands through his hair and yanking him over. "Norman?" He met your gaze with half-lidded eyes. "Yes (N/n)?"

"Where did you learn how to do that?"

He smirked and it was hot. The fact that he kept his arm braced against the wall didn’t help either. "Why?" he lowly inquired. "Do you like it?" Your breath caught in your throat and you found yourself wanting more. 

Knock, knock!

Norman didn't look too happy about that. He ran a hand over your cheek and gently tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, that half-lidded look of his melting into warmth and love. He made his way to the door, tightening his tie and smoothing out his hair with a quick touch.

"Hello--?" Norman fell short mid-sentence. As soon as your gaze locked with the person on the other side, you understood why. Ray stood in the threshold, just as red-faced as you and Norman, with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll come back later.” he muttered. 

Oh great. Had he been eavesdropping? You glanced at Norman and he glanced at you, then Ray, and back to you. Ray sucked his teeth and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Don’t have too much fun.” he said, a smirk twitching onto his lips.

You made your way to the threshold with a groan. “Rayyyy!” 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.” he coolly replied. “Do whatever, I didn’t see anything.”

PART 2 <--- READ PART 2

NOTE: I spent a WHOLE WEEK writing this. Please reblog so I know you guys like it :)

TIP JAR

#i'm sorry okay #plz reblog #tpn manga #tpn spoilers #norman the promised neverland #emma the promised neverland #ray the promised neverland #the promised neverland #yakusoku no nebārando #ynn #the promised neverland x reader #x reader #anime #manga #ynn norman #tpn norman #norman x reader #don't come for me #fml lmao #why am i posting this

[little-smartass]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT COVER ALBUM - the legendary Vampire Lestat is back and bigger and badder than ever, this time bringing a whole album of song covers ranging from classic bangers to newer fresh takes on chart hits! get your copy now, complete with a transcript of the artist's commentary on each song!

(songs I think Lestat would cover and release as an album in an attempt to re-kickstart his career and/or make some sort of dramatic statement to Louis. tracklist and "artist commentary" under the cut)

Survival - Muse

“And I’ll reveal my strength, to the whole human race, yes I am prepared, to stay alive, and I won’t forgive, and vengeance is mine, and I won’t give in, because I choose to thrive! Yeah I’m gonna win!”

Oh, I wish this song had been around back on that opening night at the Cow Palace - how apt that would have been! What a fucking anthem! They would have been rioting all night. I mean, they already were, but, like, because of the music. Not because vampires were being immolated in the middle of the crowd. Different kind of riot.

The Bitch Is Back - Elton John

“I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch, oh the bitch is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact, I can bitch, I can bitch, ‘cause I’m better than you, it’s the way that I move, the things that I do!”

One day I want to have this play as I walk into Night Island. I’ll time it perfectly so that I throw off my coat - my denim jacket, or- oh, no, a fur! Maximum drama! - just as the chorus starts. Armand will know that I’m coming of course, but I think that’ll just make it even better. And I have good memories to this song... [muffled question] Sorry, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, bébé. [laughter]

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

"Oh my, feels just like I don’t try, look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me, head down, swaying to my own sound, flashes in my face now, all I know is everybody loves me”

Look, do I even need to explain this one? Didn’t think so.

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

"I don't give a damn ‘bout my reputation, I've never been afraid of any deviation, and I don't really care if you think I'm strange, I ain't gonna change - and I'm never gonna care bout my bad reputation"

This one's fairly self-explanatory again. It could have been my personal anthem when I was mortal quite honestly. And it's an awful lot of fun to jump about and headbang to, don't you think? That's a new thing I've found out about, headbanging. People have been hopping about to music looking like fools for centuries but now there's a name for it. Fantastic.

bad guy - Billie Eilish

"I’m that bad type, make your mama sad time, make your girlfriend mad type, might seduce your dad time… I’m the bad guy. Duh.”

Creepy? Check. Sexy? Check. Tongue-in-cheek? Check check. This song was great and a lot of fun to cover.

Lover to Lover - Florence + the Machine

“I believe there’s no salvation for me now, no space among the clouds, and I feel I’m heading down, but that’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright”

I don’t know, this one just felt very relevant. Also the piano was great to do. You might have noticed that I’ve picked a lot of songs with piano, and that’s because I bullied the studio into getting me a goooooorgeous grand piano for the recording space and I wanted to use it as much as possible!

Feeling Good - Muse

“Stars when you shine, you know how I feel, scent of the pine, you know how I feel, oh freedom is mine, and I know how I feel”

I just really like this song - I’ve done a cover of an excellent cover! Can- can you put emojis in this? Do people still use emojis? Well imagine I’ve put the shrug one. Wait, isn’t there- Daniel, Daniel, come here, isn’t there a shrug emoji made up of keyboard- [muffled words] yes! The shrug one! Yes, put that in the transcription. [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] I just like this song.

The Man - The Killers

“I got gas in the tank, I got money in the bank, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man, I got skin in the game, I got a household name, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man”

I feel like this one speaks for itself too. Can you put that shrug emoji thing in here again? [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] Yes!

J'ai Pas Envie - MIKA

J'ai pas envie, de faire comme si, comme les maris, qui disent oui, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie d'te faire plaisir, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, si tu m'aimes viens me le dire"

Look, I'm not going to translate the whole song for you, because it has all this clever wordplay you just totally lose in english… but the gist of it is that these two lovers are… at odds a lot. It's… it's maybe a little spiteful [laughter] but in a fun way! It's a fun song! Louis won't even be mad about it, it's MIKA.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

"When I'm not with you, think of you always (I miss those long hot summer nights), when I'm not with you, think of me always, always"

[Long pause] God, I miss Freddie.

Let 'Em Talk - Kesha

Ah, full disclosure - I put this song in purely because of the expression Louis made when I played it in the car and it got to the line “can suck my dick” and she did that popping noise… it was incredible, and I just knew I had to cover it so I could see his expression when I said that. I can’t wait to play it to him. [laughter]

So What - P!nk

"So so what, I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and I don't need you, and guess what? I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine, (and you're a tool, so)"

I'm actually a big fan of nineties and noughties female stars - all that grrrrrrrl power, it's great fun, you know? I'd say this one is fairly self-explanatory, because I am still a rockstar! This is my new album! Fuck you EMP and your sniffy little article calling me "washed up"!

Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

"But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

This one could be self-deprecating, but it's also very vindictively angry at the same time, and that's a combination I definitely get. Like, oh, it's my fault, isn't it? It's my fucking fault again, what a surprise. Perhaps "learn from your mother or you'll spend your days biting your own neck" is a little on the nose… [muffled words] you've read my books, right? [muffled words] Good, good.

Missy - The Airbourne Toxic Event

"But I swear there's still some good in me, I think if you'd stuck around you'd see, all the botched attempts at integrity I once had"

Oh, I was feeling philosophical when I picked this one. No, philosophical isn't the right word… melancholy? Do people still use that word? "I swear I swear I swear I'll never get sad" is both furiously defiant and yet so self-defeatingly ironic. [Exasperated noise] Enough of that. Next!

Please Don't Leave Me - P!nk

"I don't know if I can yell any louder, how many times have I kicked you out of here, or said something insulting? I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of nearly anything, when my heart is broken… (please, please don't leave me)"

Oh, we’re… we’re getting to this section now. [clearing throat] Well, I have to make up for that sucking dick line, don’t I? Get a bit vulnerable. Oh God, why did I decide to do this bit? [muffled words] [bad chicago accent] But why buy the cow? Because you love him, you really do. [sigh, laughter]

Next To Me - Imagine Dragons

"Oh, I always let you down, shattered on the ground, still I find you there, next to me, and oh, the stupid things I do, I'm far from good it's true, still I find you, next to me"

Why did I- I don’t remember putting so many of these ones in.

Run To You - Pentatonix

"I've been settling scores, I've been fighting so long, but I've lost your war, and our kingdom is gone... how shall I win back your heart which was mine? I have broken bones and tattered clothes, I've run out of time"

[Sigh] [clears throat] Yeah. I think we can move onto the next one.

Love of My Life - Queen

“Love of my life, don't leave me, you've stolen my love, you now desert me, love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me, because you don't know, what it means to me”

I play this one sometimes on my baby grand when we've had a fight, and it's impossible for him to stay angry. He's a sucker for this sort of… formality in romance. God, I wish I'd realised that earlier. If I'd written him a letter in fancy copperplate script with scented paper and enclosed rose petals politely requesting him to bend me over his desk back in the day, it might not have taken two centuries of mutual blue balls for us to figure our shit out. Ah well, live and learn… as it were. [muffled words] Look, I did a whole bunch of vulnerable songs! Now I get to make sex jokes! [laughter] oh fuck off.

#Lestat de lioncourt #loustat #vampire chronicles #dead disasters #my mixes

[thenighttrain]

🐣🐨🦔🐢🐄🐸🐧🦭

DID YOU LIKE MY COUNTDOWN!? That was fun! I had fun. That was actually more fun than I thought it would be! There were too many good posts to name. It was very fun reading all your comments and theories.  Though side note: animal anon has no problem with people joining her BUT it must be animals and it must not mess with my countdown. No statues! Animal anon does animals, not statues. Side side note: can someone settle the debate of if that emoji is a hedgehog or a porcupine? Because I have no idea. Side note side note side note: sorry if you got multiple asks in a day...my system isn't perfected yet so sometimes I send two (or three) because I forgot I sent one and didn't want to accidently miss anyone (also sorry if i did miss you, still perfecting the system, no one has been animal anon blacklisted, i promise!)

Anyway, GUESS WHAT TODAY IS!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 It's been one year since I started animal anon! How exciting is that?! Phew, what a year we've had together! I mean what better way to start this second year than some chaos since that's how animal anon started to begin with! I will admit, it was slightly stressful coming up with something to meet the occasion of this event. I hope the countdown and this post live up to it. No, I'm not going to reveal myself just yet.. maybe that will be for year 2...😏😏. BUT I will give you some fun facts about me! So let's see; first, I'm from the Midwest (so not Canadian, but close so I do have a slight accent), but I currently live in the TriState area. Second, I am a MASSIVE theater nerd. No, seriously I have been to 21 shows since Broadway reopened in September and I'm actually going to my 22nd tonight. I don't know if this makes that fact better or worse, but I've really only been to about 12 different show because out of those 22, 10 of those are one specific show. Third, I am fluent in German and English. Though, I suck at writing in German, I never learned how to, so don't ask me to do that please. Fourth, my favorite color is red, so you can guess my favorite Taylor album (and coincidently also the show I've been to see 10 times on Broadway...). Fifth, I love to talk A LOT if you couldn't tell by the essays I send yall. And lastly, I can also confirm I am not Taylor...but I will say that I do share something very important with her... tell me your guesses down below as to what very important thing you think Taylor and I have in common, and I'll send some extra animals to whomever I see gets it right first!

So contuining on with my dissertation here, this week I have been trying to figure out a prompt to live up to this occasion. As I already mentioned, my system isn't perfect! And I've been thinking a lot about community lately and how that's been lacking for so many because of Covid. So what I want yall to do is if you get this dissertation of mine, please send a message, post, anon, whatever you want to at least 1 other blog (though you can do more), telling them something you like about them and giving them an animal emoji! That way we can keep spreading the love all day long to as many as possible! 🥰

As always, you are all brilliant, kind, worthy, beautiful and as this past week has shown, hilarious and unique human beings. No seriously, some of your posts had me kneeling over in laughter. If you would so like, you can tag #animalanon so I and everyone can read all your lovely posts! IM STARTING EARLY TODAY SO WE CAN PARTY ALL DAY LONG BECAUSE I LOVE YALL SO MUCH 🎊 🦥🦁🐯

U DID IT BEFORE I SLEPT, THANK YOU<3 i'm pretty sure it's a hedgehog, porcupines are bigger (and uglier). happy 1 year of being animal anon 🥺 your asks brighten my day and you've made this fandom so much more fun! i really hope you reveal yourself one day! i looove musicals and i'm so jealous you've seen so many broadway shows wtf TAKE ME WITH YOU 😭😭 and re the important thing you share with taylor - your fave number is 13? you're born on dec 13th? you have a bf called joe? you're a cat person?

ilysm and thank u for all the fun and chaos and positivity you've brought

#ask #animal anon #anonymous