#maybe i can write something about star wars almost parodies...

[frc-ambaradan]

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY! 🌌

Unfortunately, given Disney's ban of parodies of inner material, we'll probably never see a new, real parody of Lucas' epic but let's revel in this illustration by Andrea Freccero for an Egmont story that will never see publication:

#have a wonderful day #may the force be with you #star wars day #star wars #andrea freccero #disney gang #disney parodies #egmont #maybe i can write something about star wars almost parodies... #i can prepare it for revenge of the fifth ;)

[mywifeleftme]

363: R.E.M. // Murmur

Murmur R.E.M. 1983, IRS

Some Short, Disconnected Statements on the Matter of Murmur

1. Insert the following into Waring blender

The Velvet Underground, Pylon, the Byrds, Gang of Four, Patti Smith, the Feelies, Joy Division, the Method Actors, Big Star, the dB’s, the Monkees. Press “Blend” button. (I’ve never owned a blender; I don’t know what the buttons say.)

2. Easy formula for a great band

Having one temperamental genius songwriter guy sounds kind of hard to maintain. Have you considered simply getting four people who are really excellent and distinctive at the respective things they do (at least three of them great singers), who all write well, get along, lack substance abuse issues, have good taste, and modest egos? Why don’t more bands do this?

3. Notes on the early discourse

A lot of the things people wrote back in the early ‘80s to champion this band were dumb as hell. R.E.M. weren’t good because they didn’t use keyboards or synths; pop music didn’t need to be returned to its "honest" folk-rock roots; giving them a thumbs up for not wearing flashy clothes and makeup is dork behaviour.

They were good because they made weird music that derived organically from their time (early ‘80s), place (a college town in the South), and selves (bright, independent, adventurous, sincere, ¼ gay).

Anyone who listened to Chronic Town or Murmur, with their post-punky murk and lyrical references to Laocoön and Marat, and thought to themselves, “As yes, the second coming of Roger McGuinn, this will put those effete new wavers to flight,” was an idiot.

4. Veteran of the psychic war

Somewhere around age 22, R.E.M. took over the mantle Metallica had held as My Favourite Band in the World Forever and Ever, and I proceeded to be almost as annoying about them as I had been Hetfield and the boys. I posted a lot about them; rigged “best music” polls on random message boards I didn’t even post on in their favour; cornered people at parties; crowbarred them into playlists; grumpily chose to dislike bands I saw as stealing their shine; etc. etc. Some (some) of this is maybe cute in retrospect, but really: don’t be like this about music. If you love a band this much, learn how to play their songs on an instrument; write a few poems; paint something. Worst case: review them.

5. Learning nothing, 2024

6. Athens: Lyrics & Enunciation

The matter of what exactly Stipe was singing on the early R.E.M. records was a subject of intense speculation, and eventually, parody. Some of the mystery’s in the mixing, some’s in his Georgian accent, and some’s in his enunciation (never quite as mushy as people claimed, but not exactly Ella Fitzgerald either). But most of it’s in the arbitrary decisions he makes with regard to syntax that cause even accurate transcriptions to seem implausible. Stipe is probably a little bit autistic, which goes some way to explaining the impressionistic intuitiveness of his words, and also went to art school, which fetishizes that sort of thing, but he was always shy of people seeing the words to something like “Sitting Still” on the page because he thought he might be exposed as a nincompoop. “Up to par and Katie bars / The kitchen side, but not me in / Sitting top of the big hill / Waste of time sitting still,” goes the chorus, according to at least one gnostic sect, but the important passage is the one everyone agrees on, when the stream of impassioned babble releases into a howled “I can hear you / Can you hear me?”

Later on, when he would sing more clearly over airy arrangements, with the lyrics neatly printed in the booklet, he’d occasionally try one of those old sound-over-sense moves and embarrass himself (“Leaving New York was never my proud” still rankles). But Murmur’s eternal elusiveness is in the way fragments of sense catch your ear from out of its sleeptalk glossolalia:

“The pilgrimage has gained momentum” “Conversation fear” “Lighted, lighted / Laughing in tune” “Hear the howl of the rope / A question” “A perfect circle of acquaintances and friends / Drink another, coin a phrase” “Shaking through / Opportune” “Take oasis” “Heaven assumes / Shoulders high in the room” “Did we miss anything?”

7. Permission to be arbitrary

I remember sitting in the basement of my college house with my old hometown buddy Brad (mostly a metal/classic rock guy), playing him “Shaking Through” and explaining one of the things I love about old R.E.M. is that it’s great music to yell to. I don’t know how much he really got it, but we were drunk and it’s a catchy song, so we howled and made keening, wordless, Stipean noises along with it and the next few until one of my roommates came and asked us to keep it down.

Also: one theory for why cats purr when they’re injured is that the vibrations somehow reduce pain and encourage healing. From many experiences humming these songs while wrapped up in headphones and bedsheets in the middle of a day that’s passing like a kidney stone, I can confirm.

8. Note on the modern discourse: Influence?

Black Francis, Kurt Cobain, Bob Mould, Steve Malkmus, Bob Pollard, and Thom Yorke loved R.E.M. So did, to his own apparent consternation, Metallica’s Cliff Burton. Still, you sit down with someone and listen to those musicians with the goal of showing them the R.E.M. influence (don’t do this, why would you do this?) and it’s honestly pretty oblique. Most of the bands who directly aped aspects of R.E.M.'s early sound were at best pleasantly minor (see Captured Tracks’ Strum & Thrum comp), and the ones who seemed to be listening most closely to their ‘90s efforts were not who you want.

Their ultimate influence was probably simply showing what an art-first, indie-adjacent rock band could accomplish by sticking to their guns and bending the system to their desires instead of being bent by it. They were like a Velvet Underground for the college rock era, except everyone talented who heard them was inspired to start a band that didn’t sound much like them. They always used their spotlight to introduce people to other bands and, when they really got huge, they modeled how to deal with success. There don’t seem to be many R.E.M. stories, Peter Buck’s airplane incident aside, about them being anything other than kind. That’s a fundamentally less exciting type of influence than most other “great” bands have. But I do think it’s kinda cool they were the wise old heads for an entire national movement of alternative music.

8b.

Of course, it still bugs me people don’t think they’re cool. Murmur at least, should be considered cool. And Reckoning, mostly. Chronic Town for sure. Some of Fables. Am I crazy for saying some of Monster and New Adventures even? I’ll stop. I’ll go on.

9(-9). The music

They were a pop band, they were an art band; they sounded like children, and like craggy old men buried in kudzu weed; natural and pretentious; date-stamped and timeless. Decide yourself. Happy 41st birthday Murmur.

363/365

#r.e.m. #rem #michael stipe #peter buck #bill berry #mike mills #murmur #mitch easter #jangle pop #athens music #athens #'80s music #college rock #alternative rock #indie rock #perfect circle #self indulgence #music review #vinyl record

[runninguplenorahills]

Hi!! I was wondering, if you could hang out with any Stranger Things character for a day who would it be and what would you do? I hope you have an awesome day!!!

Ohhh, thank you so much for this ask <3🌟

This is such a tricky question because:

Will

Will and I would probably paint together. It’d be all nice and quiet and relaxing because I literally cannot multitask hahah. I’m too distracted to talk. But we’d listen to music for sure! Anything Will likes because his taste in music is elite! And afterwards we’d tell each other more about our paintings, read comics, play a board game together and maybe also catch a movie.

Mike

Mike and I would definitely write something together! He loves writing fantastical dnd campaigns and I love to write silly fairytale parodies with my friends as the main characters so this is the perfect activity for us! We could maybe write two separate stories and read them to each other afterwards which will probably be hilarious! We’d have a sleepover so after our story writing session we would play super mario (I’m gonna lose so bad) together and watch Star Wars.

Dustin

Dustin and I would 100% go on a curiosity voyage together! We’d get hooked on a topic and race our bikes to the library to get all the books we need to learn absolutely everything about that topic! We’d also make a detour to the grocery store to buy anything nougat and then we’d literally spend the whole day researching stuff. As a reward for our hard work we’d go get ice cream afterwards.

Lucas

Lucas and I would without a doubt play basketball together! I always loved basketball and I’m pretty good at it too, still I wouldn’t stand a chance against Lucas hahaha. We’d also play different variations of the game and come up with our own games. Afterwards we’d go to the arcade together and basically spend all our money.

Max

Max and I would probably go to a skate park together. I’m really good on inline skates, good on roller skates and ok on the actual skateboard so I’d have some options to choose from haha. I’ll probably go with the inline skates. And we’d skate around Hawkins as if we’re going for a walk (only definitely faster) until we arrive at the skate park. Max would be doing some tricks while I’d almost die on the half pipe but yeah, it’ll be fun! And we can switch too so Max helps me with getting more confident on the skateboard and I help her with the inline skates. Afterwards we’d 100% have a sleepover together! Play boardgames, talk about comics and watch some movie that Max would never admit she likes.

El

El and I would have a self care day together. We’d make our hair, paint our nails, go shopping, pick out weird outfits for each other and have a blast bothering every other customer with being too loud, go get milkshakes, go get smoothies, go for a walk, rent a movie, eat triple decker eggo extravaganzas, watch tv, read magazines, take those quizzes in magazines, and that’d conclude the day.

I’m only putting the party as options for this one but even with only the six of them it’s difficult to decide!! I think I’ll choose Max or Mike though tbh!👀

#mail to lenora hills

[spongebob-connoisseur]

what if looney toons peter lorre met slappy

Oh that's easy! I'd simply pass way

Jk jk but ohhhh!! Finally! I can use my book of notes for this! Because as of late I've been blowing off energy writing about slappy and where specifically other peter lorre parodies in cartoons came from + roles he played that contributed most to the typical lorre caricature we have in mind that so often shows up in media. Also because slappy only has small cameos and stuff and this is how I get more content lol *snorts some slapcrack*

Okay! But there is noticeable differences between the typical looney tunes lorre characters. There's 5 looney tunes shorts I've seen so far with some type of lorre character. Two with a mad scientist-esque character and one with a gangster, some with some dude Mr. Greenstreet (ha get it? Get it?) who's obsessed with new tastes (get this man some 🐔), and one where it's just himself along with other parodies of Hollywood stars. There's also his appearence in tinytoons where he was an evil train conductor named boxcars. There's more but that's all I've seen so far.

Though I think we'll stick with mad scientist lorre because he appeared twice in the original plus had a little comeback in the movie looney tunes back in action. Also they've got an official name! Dr. Lorre 👀

I know for SURE they would've wanted experimented on my boy slappy. A talking fish? How could they resist? Maybe they'll finally find his wishbone?

Of course they wouldn't be getting it easy. While I don't see slappy really fighting. He has his way of getting around (his mysterious transportation onto that stunt ride mobility scooter in Pat-a-thon or him just there watching pat through the window in lost in couch) he just shows up and disappears. Not to mention, in actual trouble. He can manage via unorthodox methods (stair wars) Ngl I wish I could settle all feuds like this lol

Also slappy seems to have a very small (but very much there) awareness that he's a weirdo/people find him creepy. He doesn't seem to mind. But can also easily do what he can to make people further repulsed by him. (I assumed so from his first episode and lost in couch but now I am certain in the halloween special)

Who would win? Will it be a battle to the death? Err no. The scientist ones has one detail that Slappy doesn't have. The thing about how a lot of peter lorre characters are depressed and tortured. Dealing with inner demons ans suffering from loneliness and thus are unable to control their actions. Which sounds dramatic but a staple trait to add to any of your Lorre inspired characters 👀 (like for an example, I just finished watching The Stranger On the Third Floor. Peter Lorre plays a criminal, in the final scene talking to a lady and said the only one who's ever been nice to him was a lady, and that he doesn't have any friends. He's clearly sad. But he's a killer who's been slashing people's throats. It should've been obvious. Still I think it was mcstinking cute!)

Anyways they don't get why people turn away from them while doing horrible things that make people run away in fear.

Which is something the looneytunes lorre characters have that slappy doesn't. Slappy is pretty happy go lucky. He's certainly weird but doesn't mind it at all. He enjoys things his own way and is friendly (to the best of his abilities) I mean look how Unbothered he is!!

I can see slappy befriending the looneytunes lorre characters. He's the only one I can see that wouldn't judge them for their heinous actions and would probably be the most understanding. Eh, knowing them, they'd still probably try to steal his wishbone but it wouldn't bother him much.

Now I can really see them having almost like a group session where they're talking about their feelings and slappy is just there listening xD slappy is the least likeliest to make a therapist but also probably the best..?

Why do I kinda feel like he'd find their heinous acts amusing? He loves a good failure after all. Probably listening to how they let people come to their untimely demise is to him like listening to how people failed to keep their lives? Perhaps for his own macarbe amusement? Or maybe it's just innocent curiousity? Or maybe he genuinely wants to help? Who knows.

Thank you so so much for this ask! It was such a joy to answer! I really enjoyed it since I got to infodump about slappy/lorre!! Which is always such a treat. But fr I mean it! I'd ramble on and on if ya didn't stop me so it's nice to know someone enjoys listening about it!!☺💖💖

#Ask #This was so much fun! Made my day erm.. I mean night #It is pretty late #But still ya get what i mean!! #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #sb #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebon squarepants #spongebob meme #the patrick star show #Slappy laszlo #Slappy spongebob #Laszlo spongebob #Peter Lorre fish #Looneytunes #Dr. Lorre #The patrick show

[rantaire]

i’ve watched approximately 4 episodes of supernatural but when you live on tumblr for years you are always spn-adjacent. we have no choice but to absorb it by osmosis because it’s just that massive. i feel like i know a lot about the show from fandom, and many of my fandom friends were in it at some point. i also work in entertainment media so i’ve been tracking all the updates in its final year. and i have to say that even after years of disappointments from movies and tv, this one seems particularly egregious? 

here’s the thing. there’s so often a divide between the fever-dream of shipping and what we actually get in canon. and we know this. we’re not stupid, or gullible. people in fandom engage with the narrative on a level most critics could never dream.

even though many of us recognize that our beloved ships from giant properties won’t go canon because they are embedded in giant global blockbusters created by megacorporations, in recent years there seems to also be a trend of bad endings that not only work to crush these ships but make for awful storytelling and act dismissive of their own canon. and I’m tired of it.

maybe steve/bucky would never happen, but steve abandoning his traumatized best friend that he’d fought actual wars for in order to go back in time for a woman who moved on with her life without him? crap. star wars not even attempting finnpoe despite the actors’ encouragement, and giving poe a random half-assed love interest because, oh look, a girl? we can be angry about these things, and we can and should demand better and broader representation. if nothing else, at least tell a better story.

why spn’s finale feels so unsettling to me as a non-fan is that even i came to believe the tide might be turning, just a little bit. fandom is more mainstream and recognized than ever. our ships and our transformative works are discussed in big media outlets. actors and creatives acknowledge fic and retweet fanart. actors and creatives acknowledge how vital it is for people to see themselves reflected and represented in media. and it seemed to me, as a sideline observer, that supernatural appreciated its fanbase and understood how important dean and castiel’s relationship was, and how beloved castiel was as a character on his own. to have him not appear in the last episode at all is unconscionable to me, and i have never seen him in an episode! this is how much impact the character had that’s filtered down.

i watched the reactions a few weeks ago of mixed euphoria and dismay after castiel’s love confession and subsequent disappearance into “super hell.” that didn’t seem great, message-wise, but it was a step that felt significant, it meant a lot to many people, and it probably would not have happened without fandom and their tireless cheerleading and enthusiasm. it seemed like maybe they were really building to something.

and so even though i knew in my dead withered critic’s heart of hearts that we wouldn’t be getting a destiel kiss, i thought that spn might be brave enough to give their fans a final gift—a thanks for everything. have dean and cas drive off in that damned car whose name i know because i live on tumblr. end with them smiling at each other. something. i know the pandemic came into play, but other actors appeared, and even castiel’s voice could have been literally phoned in.

instead, from the anger and pain and incredulous memes i’m seeing from people across social media, it appears that what the show delivered was an ending so unfitting it was like a parody of an end. they threw the baby out with the bathwater. it’s incredibly disappointing, and it feels cowardly to me. you don’t have to make a ship canon just to appease fandom. but your fans deserve a better story for their characters after fifteen years. 

spn was uniquely positioned because it’s old as balls. most of the people still watching have seen it all and would have been up for anything good. the creatives could have done pretty much whatever they wanted. this isn’t a case of disney or international censors breathing down their neck. instead, they appear to have taken the easy way out of a lackluster finale written by folks who probably high-fived themselves for poignancy and half-assed twists and got paid more money than any of us will ever see for it. that’s boring, and it’s passé, and it didn’t have to be this way.

sometimes a property like she-ra can swoop in and save the day by delivering what fans want most. but she-ra was also made by people who came out of and understood fandom culture and just how much representation means to people. how much emotional investment and time and energy we’ve put into characters and their lives. why they matter. and it should stand as an example of what to do next.

if there’s a takeaway for all of this, it’s that we can’t and shouldn’t trust “mainstream” productions to do anything that we want in terms of representation. even if they’re uniquely positioned. even if they tease. even if they say they understand. even if they say they’ll do better next time. they’ll keep throwing pieces of bones, but they will almost always keep disappointing us. and they’re not even creating good art along the way. i know a dozen spn fic writers who could’ve written a vastly better ending to the show and i’m sure there are thousands. 

we need to create the stories we want to see. in fic and fanart and transformative works, yes, but also (and i say this to myself as well), write that book. write that script. draw your graphic novel. film a movie in your backyard tomorrow because it sounds like anything we produce right now will be more inspired and more important to each other than the scraps we get from distant studios who are only vaguely aware that we’re alive and buying their merchandise. and i want to buy your books, watch your scripts, frame your art. i want to be able to invest in the stories we want to see told.

i love what we make for each other, and we should keep doing that, more furiously than ever. and if you want to, if you dream of it, you should push to create on a broader scale. you already know that you’re a better creative than a lot of people who are generating the “hits.” i can’t wait to see what you make. and fuck supernatural’s finale.

#thinking thoughts #supernatural

[smolbeandrabbles]

Common Threads - An Orson Krennic AU (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story)

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

This will be a short series set across a number of parts.

Author’s Note: All credit, and I mean ALL credit, to Harry & Rob @ Stop Making Sense Podcast. They’re real ones!  REAL ones. Thank you both for letting me write such a genius idea!

Basically this all started here on Instagram. And if you want to see where it’s going you’ll want 54:33-61:20 of this! Also please support these guys, they’re so great and so funny! Highly recommended!  While we’ll have no central romance, we know how Krennic is so... there’ll be fleeting mentions of goings on.

Also it wouldn’t be my writing if I didn’t almost lose half of it due to microsoft word complications, would it?

Disclaimer: Star Wars & Rogue One characters places etc all not mine / There’s some call backs to Catalyst but they’re rather small / The idea certainly isn’t mine either in this case / lyrics not mine / I did bring my OCs into this.

Premise: When Krennic is attacked by a band of rebel insurgents and they get away with vital information, the Empire devise a rather unusual punishment...

Words: 3547

Warnings: Slight sexual references / Please don’t look at the timelines too closely / AU

_____ I know what I want And I'ma go and get it, I'm a number one, I know you won't forget it Keep my eyes on the prize, no surprise that I'm lit I be cruisin', you be snoozin' That's why you losin', I'm oozin' Confidence is boomin', boomin'

I ain't worried 'bout nada 'Less it Gucci, 'less it Prada 'Less it Dolce and Gabbana 'Less a trip to the Bahamas I wanna feel like I'm way up Stay lit every single day I wake up I ain't worried 'bout shit, you a parody Ain't no wonder why they all so scared of me I'm a rarity, I got clarity

---

Part 1: Stitched Up. 

The communications device rumbled across the table again, begging to be picked up. This time it annoyed her; she’d managed to ignore it up to now but if it interrupted the meeting one more time she was in danger of being thrown out. She pulled it from the table, glaring. The person on the other end of the line, who clearly needed her desperately, could have only been one of two people – and due to the frequency, she could easily narrow it down to one. Krennic. And if it was her boss, she’d find that highly ironic, considering he’d been the one to tell her how imperative it was she took note of every little thing said here. ‘I don’t want a single detail missed Lieutenant; do you understand me!?’   It continued to buzz on and off feebly in her lap as she listened to the group of commanders drone on and on… but at least it wasn’t disturbing anyone but her anymore. Upon exiting the meeting it rang again, probably for the billionth time, and she answered: “Director.” He seemed a little taken aback that she knew it was definitely him, “What took you so long to pick up!?” “I was in a briefing you told me to go to! And yes, before you ask, I made all your notes. I’ll send you a copy of them right away.” “Well forget about that, I have something far more urgent for you to attend to!” “Sir?” She stilled in the corridor, ready to run in whichever direction he commanded. Krennic’s voice lowered to a hiss, “This is very embarrassing Lieutenant, and I would prefer you kept it discreet. Can you get yourself to my place?” “Yes, Sir.” She waited for a further instruction, yet upon receiving none but “Good, and make it quick, Suraya.” and the click of a terminated communication, she supposed that the only thing to do was board a shuttle to his apartment and pray that his version of urgent was not ‘I need a suit for a ball tonight, and your help to pick one!’ …again. ***

Nothing appeared out of the ordinary when she stepped off the ship, smoothing out her uniform as she did so. Krennic was waiting for her by the door and ushered her in quickly – what could this have been about? Suraya’s question was answered before he’d even closed the door, “Oh… my…” Her eyes traced slowly from floor to wall to ceiling, but there wasn’t a part of his apartment that wasn’t ransacked. “…word.” She finished, not able to think of something better to say. Krennic stepped forward into the room, arms crossed and staring hard at everything before turning to her. “Rebels!” “…Rebels?” Suraya immediately questioned, “In your house? ON Coruscant?” That didn’t make any sense, “They wouldn’t dare!” “Well they did!” He indicated around, then waved her forward, implying she should join him. “How?” “That’s what you’re here for.” “I’m hardly a detective, Director… where were you?” His blue eyes lowered to the floor and he chewed his lip, face a little flushed – she could bet from embarrassment and anger. Therefore his answer was a little mumbled, “Not conscious.” Suraya couldn’t help stifle a laugh which turned his steely gaze on her, “The rebels knocked you out?” She scanned the room again, “Well did they break in, there’s no broken glass or forced entry?” “...No.” Krennic was hesitant, and the lieutenant knew she’d missed something, turning in a complete circle on the balls of her feet, she stopped as she eyed the bed. Bed sheets rumpled and his clothes strewn nonchalantly around, there was no evidence that he’d been with anyone, but Suraya knew better. “Where’s the woman?” “What woman!?” Although there was hesitation in Krennic’s voice again. She quirked an eyebrow as she looked back at him; there wasn’t a planet in the Galaxy that didn’t know about his reputation. Her look was enough to get him to confess. “She was here when I was blindsided, when I came to, nothing!” She doubted this account by the fact that, although Krennic looked fairly unscathed, there was a mark above his eye. He’d likely let them in and would never admit it. He grumbled again, “What kind of woman would just answer the door to the rebellion!?” Or maybe that was it, but Suraya doubted Krennic would have just let anyone else answer his door for him without express permission or command. “Did it occur to you she was a rebel?” The Director nearly laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, then composed himself. “Nah. I would have known. Anyway, why would she?!” Suraya let her eyes linger on him a little longer than she perhaps ought to; “I dunno, if I got the opportunity to say I’d slept with you, I would. Your reputation does precede you, Director Krennic. Why not take the opportunity to see if the rumours are true?” Krennic flushed but automatically dismissed it, “No. There’s no way. Self-respecting rebels would never-! And I---” She kept her mouth shut for now, and pushed a scoff and a taunt back down where they belonged. “---No. No.” As he began walking across the floor, musing to himself, Suraya traced his footsteps. “Well, what did they take?” “Hm?” “If they’ve overturned everything here, then they were looking for something Director, what have they found? What was here?” “Most of my research is back with Galen at the Eadu facility. I suppose there are a few data packs… but that’s general Weapons Division stuff. And-” Krennic turned quickly, trying to figure out where he’d last seen his personal data pad. He wasn’t about to outwardly look flustered about this though, he’d been in little mishaps before and he’d always come out of them on the right side of things. This was just another one of those, Krennic told himself he had nothing to worry about. Something else was pressing on the lieutenant’s mind as she watched him move around, and Suraya wasn’t thinking as she interrupted him to voice it. “Where’s your cape?” Suraya wasn’t sure he wore it all the time. Did he wear it when he relaxed? There weren’t so many times she’d seen Krennic in civvies or ever had a reason to come over here, unless it was for an early morning pre-meeting briefing; by which time he was usually up and dressed. But he was certainly in his uniform right now – so, where was the most iconic piece of it? Then Krennic really did go red and in his attempt to stutter through a sentence, couldn’t, and had to sit down, running his hands over his face. Then it all clicked; this was what was so urgent. It wasn’t that the rebels had come here, upturned his place, perhaps stolen documents – Krennic was annoyed about that but he wasn’t bothered by it. The information he was about to impart to her was his top concern. “It’s gone.” He managed, muffled slightly behind his hands. Okay, but he had more, right? Krennic wasn’t the type of man to keep one copy of a uniform around, especially when he was so picky about tailoring. Those poor imperial tailors were yelled at if there was even so much as a stitch wrong. She was pretty sure that he’d even stood over their shoulders to watch them remake it after he’d sent it back. “There’s more than just one, isn’t there?” If there wasn’t, he at least had a rainwear version he could substitute until they made him another. Krennic just shook his head, but still wasn’t looking up. Suraya crossed to his wardrobe, pulling it open and immediately seeing the problem. She stepped back with a gasp. By ‘it’s gone’ Krennic didn’t just mean the cape, he meant his entire closet was empty. No uniforms, no finely tailored suits (that he spent who knows how many credits on just so he was on trend), nothing. There was a single note stuck to the inside of the door, which upon reading Suraya found was indeed from the rebellion – but also fairly unrepeatable. She untacked it and walked back to him. “…Well, that’s a story you’ll have to tell Uniform.” “They’ll make my life hell.” He protested, suddenly regretting all the times he’d had them redo his clothing over one stitch, finally taking his head out of his hands and looking up at her, “I can’t leave my house like this!” “At least you have a uniform, Sir.” Was the best she could do, and by the looks of it Krennic also had whatever he’d been wearing last night, so not all was lost. Still, Suraya knew why she’d been called here, “I’ll put an expedited request in for you.” He nodded, and opened his mouth to verbally agree, when there was another sharp knock at his door that demanded both of their attention. “Director Krennic! Open this door at once!” Her heart dropped and Krennic groaned, “This is just what I need!” He stood, turning back to his assistant, “I TOLD you not to say anything.” “I didn’t! It’s not like I knew this had anything to do with the rebels before I got here-!” Suraya would have hit him with her data pad if she thought it would get her anywhere. Krennic swivelled from the door to her and then back to the door, “Then how the hell does Tarkin know!?” Forced to play defensive she held her hands up, and said her next sentence almost hopefully, “We don’t know he does, maybe that’s not what he’s here for!” ***  Krennic took the deepest of deep breaths as he cracked the door open, leaving Suraya to stand to attention on one side of the room, data pad behind her back keeping it dead straight, a trick she’d learned was pretty useful as a cadet. “Governor Tarkin, how may I assist you?” “Let us in, Director, my day is very busy and I don’t have time for this, particularly.” Tarkin was curt as ever, it didn’t help Orson’s mood. “Time for what?” Clearly Krennic’s feign of ignorance wasn’t making him friends. “Oh, out of the way, Krennic! We spotted some Rebel insurgents leaving atmosphere and on breaking down the contrails of their craft and fuel particles in the atmosphere, it appears they came from your apartment. Now I don’t wish to accuse you of treason, but if you want to confess it might make things easier.” The lieutenant found herself suddenly wishing Krennic hadn’t dragged her into this first, so she could be saved from watching these two argue again. The Director scowled as he was forced to open his door wider on the chaos of his apartment.  “Oh dear!” Although as Tarkin waltzed in it was clearly only said as a formality, and the sharp smile on his face let Suraya know he was about to lord this over her boss. He was followed in by no less than five other imperials, all young looking protégés, eager to survey the scene for themselves. She would suppose even if they found forensic evidence, Krennic wasn’t about to be told of it, and it also didn’t look like they were about to be too careful with his remaining things. Once Tarkin had acknowledged her presence at the scene and turned back to Krennic, still scowling, Suraya made her way quickly across the room to kick Krennic’s discarded clothing under the bed. Maybe the kids wouldn’t put two and two together, but Tarkin certainly would. Rebels were scandals themselves without a potential sleeping-with-the-enemy situation. “It seems to be a bit of a mess you find yourself in, Director.” “It’s hardly of my own doing.” Krennic straightened, defensive, “There were far more of them than I, I fought back but was unfortunately blindsided.” “I see no evidence of force entry.” Suraya shook her head subtly as Krennic’s eyes flicked momentarily to her; if he wanted to go that way, he probably should have opened a window or the balcony doors or… something. “Well, no, as it turns out I let them in.” She couldn’t see Tarkin’s face, but his movement and the freeze of the others in the room said everything. Krennic’s eyes momentarily flickered in panic but he controlled it, “I expected to see my assistant returning to de-brief me on the meeting I sent her to this morning.” Suraya did everything in her power not to look pissed that he’d just thrown her to the wolves instead, with Tarkin immediately turning, but it was not her he addressed, “I believe I know the briefing the lieutenant attended, which you also therefore would have known did not finish until after the incident took place. Why would you expect her so early?” Krennic shrugged coolly, “Sometimes they end early.” This wasn’t untrue, of course, but it was a big bluff. It didn’t explain why Krennic wouldn’t have checked who was knocking. Also if Tarkin had the inclination to check the call log, it would show that the Director also began his tirade of calls after the rebels had left. Krennic, having become suddenly useless, was dismissed, for Tarkin to turn back to her. “Lieutenant. When you arrived did you notice anything out of the ordinary?” Suraya could see Krennic gesturing out of the corner of her eye but ignored him. “Besides the whole place being over turned, nothing Sir.” Although she tilted her head, before pausing, immediately thinking better of it. “Lieutenant?” It didn’t get passed Tarkin. “I just don’t understand why they would take the Director’s wardrobe, Sir.” The word ‘take’ obviously alerted Tarkin to something else, and his eyes darted around the room again, Krennic walked forward, clearly bumping Tarkin’s arm on purpose as he strolled to the closet to present evidence. You watched the Governor’s little smile widen in amusement, before he became serious again, “Well, well, Director. You better check they’ve not stolen anything important. Especially with the project you’re working on.” “Anything of significance is with Galen.” Krennic disliked how quick he was to address that point, he didn’t want Tarkin to know how irked he was. “Still, it would be best to check. I believe that your personal data pad will have been here along with some files. Something as significant as those would not have escaped the rebels notice.” Krennic’s teeth gritted, as he indicated back to the closet; “My WARDROBE is gone!!” Suraya was right, that was the most important thing to him. Tarkin’s eyes flicked to hers, and they shared the same exchange of exasperation, unable to quite comprehend why clothing was at the forefront of Krennic’s mind. “As I was saying…” She almost chuckled as Tarkin made it clear on what he perceived as important and it was not Krennic’s lack of uniform, “There’ll be consequences if anything is missing, Director! This is already a dire security breach.” Ironically Krennic thought that was a little dramatic, but simply grumbled to himself as Tarkin took his forensics team back and exited the apartment. The Director was just glad to get them out of his hair. “Security breach.” He muttered, “You’d think I handed them the whole damn Project Stardust!” Suraya sighed gently as she made her way back over to him, “For now, Sir, I believe we should figure out exactly what data has been taken. And report it up the chain as soon as possible, less Tarkin find a reason to return. Then we can get your uniform re-ordered.” He turned those blue eyes back on her, at least a little brighter at that idea than they had looked when she arrived, “Yes. Let’s… let’s do that.” *** It took a couple of days to overturn the damage that the rebels had done and take stock of what was actually missing. Krennic had retrieved his personal data pad, and they hadn’t managed to gain access to the most important discs in his desk. Nor his own weapon, thankfully. That didn’t mean data packs and other things of value weren’t looted. Krennic had to go through the ordeal of cancelling a lot of his access pips and cards – but they arrived fairly quickly from the Intelligence Bureau, reset. Suraya remained with him to assist the clean-up operation and order his uniform; this took a little longer to arrive and by the end of the second day Krennic was starting to get antsy. “What takes them so long!?” “Well you do have very exacting standards, Sir!” “Exactly! So they should know how to do it by now. Did I not specify clearly enough!?” She wasn’t about to answer that question. If his previous interactions with them were anything to go by the urgent note she’d placed on it was being wholly ignored and the Director would be constantly bumped to the back of the queue. She couldn’t say she’d blame them, either. On the morning of the third day, as they both anxiously awaited the results of their carefully worded email detailing exactly what documentation the rebels had stolen, Krennic received another knock at the door. “If this is Tarkin-” Suraya wasn’t about to tell him to keep a level head, but she did give him a look to tell him not to blow up. He opened the door to a woman dressed in civilian clothing, even though it appeared that she possessed rank pins. She had bright pink hair and light eyes and as she moved her hair flew as if she was starring in some kind of commercial. “Director Krennic? My name is Kora, I’m here about your uniform.” “About time it turned up!” He took a pace back in order for her to walk in, “Are you from Uniform? Next time you ought to tell them that when I say urgent, I mean same day-” Kora wasn’t done talking, and she turned back to him, saying rather bluntly, “Request denied. For letting the rebellion enter and steal documentation of the upmost importance to the Empire, YOU are going to star in a documentary about Empire approved businesses.” There was silence in the room for a moment and Krennic wore a half smile as he tried to work out if she was serious. Kora simply stared him down, and as the Director’s face fell, Suraya once again wished she wasn’t in the room. “No.” Suraya couldn’t tell if that was Krennic refusing or his own disbelief. Kora knew which way she was taking it. “Well it better be a yes before I go back, Director, or you’ll be in hot lava.” Krennic’s eyes widened and no one was under any illusions as to what he was thinking; “Not Mustafar again-!” There had to be a way out, he wasn’t about to waste his time on this! “This documentary will be of the upmost importance Director. Lord Vader and the Governor only hope that you will take it seriously.” Suraya couldn’t help giggling behind her hand at this. It wasn’t the being in front of a camera, it wasn’t the thought of doing a documentary on business – or fashion - it was that Krennic was being forced into this by a man he hated. Krennic cleared his throat, once more folding his arms as he looked back to Kora, giving her a single nod. “Very well, but there is nothing in my wardrobe that isn’t tailored to within an inch of its life and most of it is from high end shops, some of which are on Lexrul.” Krennic was a very big advocate of his home planet after all, so he’d expect at least one part of this documentary to take place there, “So you better have budget!” Instead of agreeing Kora simply smiled, in the same way that Tarkin had a habit of, “Oh no, Director, we’re highlighting small businesses that scrape by for a living, right here on Coruscant, to show our support and cater to all audiences.” Suraya thought that his face fell even faster than it had with Tarkin around, and she also didn’t think that livid covered it. “WHAT!?” “That’s the deal Director.” “It’s not much of a DEAL!” “It’s the one I’m giving you, I can take it elsewhere… and I’m sure that Lord Vader and Governor Tarkin would love to hear why you couldn’t do it.” The Director looked desperately to Suraya, but she wasn’t sure what she could say. How could, at her position, she possibly rescue him from what Tarkin wanted?

Realising indeed that his assistant wouldn’t be much aid to him, Krennic’s eyes fell back to Kora and he swallowed hard, smile feigning confidence - but also a little nervous. “Well then, I suppose I will accept your offer.” This time Kora’s returned smile was warm and sweet, “That’s great news, Director Krennic.” She took a step forward and extended her hand to him, “Well, as series producer and director, I’m very much looking forward to working with you. Welcome to the team.” Suraya bit her lip as she watched him step down to shake Kora’s hand, hoping he wasn’t crossing his fingers behind his back: this could be huge for Krennic if he used this opportunity wisely. Things were about to get interesting around here...

---

Thank you for reading! 😘😘

I really am SO excited to bring you the rest of this

#Director Krennic #Director Orson Krennic #Orson Krennic #Rogue One #rogue one a star wars story #188 #Ben Mendelsohn #You have NO idea how long it took me to name this damn thing! #I just have a list of fashion related things that I'm going to use as titles now. #I don't know if I'm 100% happy with this I think it reads as if she's the main character so I'll have to work on that in the next few parts #But also as she's the audience's character maybe I don't? Idk... #Remember when I talked about Sway 5 consisting of having a full on breakdown over losing the whole damn thing? #Well the same thing almost happened here - luckily word managed to eventually recover it #but I'm talking like almost breaking down in my kitchen over thinking so many classic lines were lost #honestly you just can't get an energy back when you write something all in one go and have that energy #So if this was a reader - you'd be Suraya obviously #But Kora is back! #And technically so is Suraya this is just a different version of her #And... well... it wouldn't be Krennic if I didn't attempt to bring Lorena into this later right

[irhinoceri]

I’ve seen a lot of fanfiction vs original fiction discourse in the past couple months on tumblr and I feel like there’s a lot of talk about fanfiction as a starting point, or the be-all-end-all, but no one talks about it as something to get into after having  already written original fiction. I know I’m not the only one who has done this... but it’s strange that it’s almost never talked about in these discussions.

I read voraciously and wrote avidly as a child/teenager and while my writing was undoubtedly derivative of whatever I was reading at the time, none of it was actually fanfiction. It was squarely in the realm of original work. I’ve had a fraught relationship with writing since, but have managed to complete at least first drafts of several novel length works, and in my early twenties (mid 2000s) I was highkey into “web fiction” which is just making a blog (usually a wordpress site) to post original work online, a la fanfiction. I went so far as to self-publish a novel via Lulu so that anyone who wanted to read it in a traditional way (paperback book) rather than via chapters posted via wordpress could do so.

I didn’t have any self-delusion that this made me a legitimate published author, but I still never wrote fanfiction and I looked down on it. I looked down on it far more harshly than a lot of harshest fanfic-critical posts I’ve seen on tumblr lately. The only thing close to fanfiction I would write was parody, because I’d never write anything serious that wasn’t original and that I couldn’t claim total ownership over. The idea of anyone in the hypothetical future writing fanfic of MY characters was awful to me and I would have wholeheartedly agreed with George R.R. Martin’s anti-fanfic stance, if I knew who GRRM was at the time.

In short, I was proud of my originality even though I knew nothing I had written was good enough to pursue traditional publication. I took inspiration from others, as I was aware no man is an island and there’s nothing truly new under the sun, etc. etc. etc. but I firmly believed that you should at least file off the serial numbers so you’re not insulting original creators by going against their intentions for their creative work to change or “fix” it. The popular fandom attitude that fanon can improve upon original work was just ridiculous to me. You either liked a work or you didn’t, there was no in between where you liked bits and pieces of canon and threw out the rest.

It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I set aside my pride enough to try writing a serious work of fanfiction, to engage with the idea that you could love a thing and still want to imagine it a different way, and to actually look into reading what other people were publishing on fanfiction.net and Ao3, rather than treating fanfic as an untouchable thing that would forever tarnish me.

The catalyst for this was that I wanted to read and write Padme Lives! fiction that imagined Star Wars without having to knock Padme off at the end of RotS. I’d seen RotS four times in theatres and many more times since, but always hated that Padme had to die at the end, and after TFA came out and there was a Star Wars revival, it rekindled my SW love that began with Attack of the Clones in 2002.

That’s it. I finally decided that I wanted Padme to live enough to write fic where she was alive or seek out other fic people had written about her being alive, despite everything. I was delighted to find entire novels set in a world where Anakin didn’t fall to the Dark Side at all, or repented in the nick of time, or other different ways for the story to unfold. I discovered that Vaderdala was an actual thing people thought was at all theoretically possible. I finally understood why people wrote fanfic. I was 31 years old.

I’ve written maybe about 500k words of fanfiction since 2016 but I’m still pretty sure the collective word count of all my original fiction since childhood still vastly eclipses that. I wrote a lot, guys. I was a homeschooled child who was largely left to my own devices (i.e. self-taught) and I had nothing in the world to do except milk goats, play in the woods, and read/write. You can get a lot of writing done when you’ve got nothing else.

So anyway.

I see people talking about this in reverse, how so many authors use fanfic and as a stepping stone towards originality, but I rarely see anyone talk about discovering the merit of fanfiction and the joy of writing it later on.

I had my reasons for starting to write fanfic after roughly 25 years of only writing original fiction, besides just wanting Padme to live. I won’t get into all of it here, but I graduated from college at the end of 2015 with a creative writing degree and haven’t written any original fiction since.

Suffice it is to say that I really admire people who brave the traditional publishing world and go out there and try to get published, get paid, to be a legitimate Author of Original Published Works. It takes a certain kind of courage to do that. The world would be a worse place if all writers just wrote fanfic. More people should be discovering new authors and stories, and consuming media that isn’t made by committee under the watchful eye of a corporation. People who have new ideas, who have something to say to the world that is totally original and isn’t just a revamp of licensed work should absolutely be doing that. And we should be celebrating and supporting them.

But if that’s not in the cards for you, fanfic can be very important. Fanfiction can be a life-saver.

I’m glad that fanfiction gives me a way to still write. I already know what it’s like to write original fiction. I don’t need to use fanfic as a stepping stone to anything, but that doesn’t mean I’m not serious about it in my own way. Letting go of the need to be profound and original (or publishable) is behind me, personally, but I still do care about the quality of the work I put out.

I just wonder how many other writers who have chosen fanfic as their main outlet feel that way? I.E. it’s not a vehicle to one day write your own original work because you’ve Been There and Done That.

#i suppose this is fairly personal #though it was meant as more of an observation #on the fact that not all fanfiction authors come to it from the same place #and not everyone writes for the same reasons #writing meta

[bongalways]

Tintinizing India - A story of life

If you are a Bengali who thrived when a misguided economic well-being did not threaten your mother tongue to its core, there is absolutely no chance that you have not been a part of the love that we always showed for detectives. We had our own Byomkesh, Feluda, Kiriti Roy, we had Sherlock and his overtly British demeanour. All of them possessed certain traits that were either something we had or something we desired. But among them, was an intrepid reporter from Brussels, who, without being something resembling our desires, burst into fame and remained famous ever since. The impact was so huge that it startled the creator of the character itself. He, always proclaiming that Tintin was his soul and that the character will cease to exist after him, was shocked by the love Tintin received from this tiny part of the world.

"I receive a lot of mail from India. Here, in my office, are two letters from Calcutta. Now, what can there be in common between a boy in Calcutta and myself?"

Why or how this tryst with Tintin started, is still a mystery to me.

In fact, the whole of India has always been a big admirer of Tintin. So much so, it has been such a crowd puller that Sony decided to release Spielberg’s Adventures of Tintin (2011) in India six weeks before it’s official release in USA. The movie still stands to be the highest grossing animated film in the country and also the animated feature film to receive the biggest opening ever. The comic books, adapted in Hindi around 2010, became and instant success and still remains to be one of the most sold comic series of all time.

However, that has not been the first time when Tintin spoke an Indian Language. Thirty years before it’s Hindi translation, Tintin was translated in a Bengali magazine, called Anandamela, for the first time. Aveek Sarkar, the same person who recently became famous through the comments made by our honourable CM, was the person who travelled the distance to meet Herge and ask for the rights to translate Tintin in Bengali. Till today, all the 23 translated versions released by Ananda Publishers remains to be an essential part of a Bengali childhood. Coincidentally, the first time I came to know about Tintin was not from one his stories or any news article. It was through one of my childhood heroes, the detective I have mentioned previously, Satyajit Ray’s Feluda. Ray, one of the biggest representatives of Bengali mindset, was a huge admirer of Tintin himself. His wonderfully woven brainchild Feluda, not only speaks about Tintin in several occasions, but somehow loosely resembles him in a lot of ways.

But why has Tintin always been so impactful? To answer that, we must know who Herge was, in what period was Tintin created and what were the stories trying to tell. Being born on 1907 in Belgium, George Remi a.k.a Herge was always destined to be living in midst of everything the three unimaginable decades presented the world with. Yes, Herge was there all through the world wars and was allegedly arrested for being a Nazi collaborator. Tintin was first published in 1929, but his story starts before that, when Herge started creating illustrations for the first time. Sources state Herge started creating illustrations during his school days as a protest against the German troops who occupied Belgium back then, during the First World War. However, the first notable published illustrations of Herge was about a boy-scout named Totor, who was inspired from his teen days as a boy scout. We can, therefore, safely assume that Totor, was the stepping stone that eventually lead to creation of Tintin. But that is not the same version of Tintin we all love and admire. The first three books (Tintin in the Land of Soviets (1930), Tintin in Congo (1931) and Tintin in America (1932)) were created with the initial beliefs that Herge possessed. Land of Soviets was about the ills of communism whereas Tintin in Congo, a brilliant portrayal of the diamond mining in Africa, was in itself way too racist than what is acceptable today. Tintin in America was a masterpiece though, and it was the one that perhaps cemented Tintin’s position in the world on Comics. The books portrayal of Native Americans, the Al Capone resemblances along with the attention to details makes it the most selling telling book till date.

Then, in 1934, came Cigars of Pharaoh. For the world, it introduced Rastapopoulos, Tintin’s nemesis and who’s similarity with stereotypical anti-Semitic portrayals will be talked about for a few decades. For us, it introduced India through Tintin’s eyes when the reporter’s plane crashed in a deep forest and he had to find his way out by becoming the official doctor of an elephant herd. The caricatures were what you can expect from a European of that time. The main villain is half-naked Fakir who throws darts mixed in a poison called Rajaija and makes the victim mad. The king of Gaipajama opposes opium trade and almost dies, Snowy is almost killed for abusing a holy cow. Not the ideal eh? So, anyone with the slightest idea of the rift between India and China can understand what comes next when the poppies are mentioned. But that was never the case. Why? Because in order to study the Orient, Herge was introduced to a Chinese named Zhang, the man who later became his best mate and can be credited for helping Tintin find his way.

The Blue Lotus (1936) starts where Cigars of Pharaoh ended and talks about the real China that was never talked about. Starting with the opium trade, Herge slowly shifts away to talk about Japans invasion of Manchuria and eventually, the second world war. The portrayal in so overwhelmingly wonderful, specially from an outsider, that it can be categorised as masterpiece similar to Spielberg-Christian Bale’s magnificent storytelling of Empires of the Sun.

Before WWII started and Belgium surrendered to German invasion, Herge wrote two more books (The Broken Ear and The Black Island) where the narrative primarily focused on adventure rather than politics. In 1939, just when the world prepared for WWII, Tintin saves Syldavia from a fascist leader in King Ottokar’s Sceptre. But the war meant Herge would eventually work under Nazi supervision and that was the case. Tintin goes up against a rich American Jewish man in The Shooting Star (1942). However, the books that followed this, namely The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham’s Treasure (1943-44), are considered to be his best works. Soon, WWII ended and Herge became a free man of the free world. Only, he was barred from creating Tintin because of his status as a Nazi collaborator.

Have you heard of a parody called Tintin in the Land of Nazis?

Fortunately, though, the world was lenient on Herge. After few years, he was allowed to write. Then came the Seven Crystal Balls (1948) and Prisoners of the Sun (1949), where Tintin meets the Incas. Land of the Black Gold (1951) talked about oil crisis way before it’s time, Destination Moon and Explorers on the Moon (1953-54) made Tintin walk on moon way before Armstrong, Calculus Affair(1956) showed us cold war and Tintin in Tibet (1960) was all about finding a lost friend Chang (or, should we say Zhang from China?). Herge was so magnificent with his imagination as well as realisation of the world, the none of these stories fall out of place when compared with real history. Here, in Tintin in Tibet, we see a picturization of a New Delhi bazaar, so accurate and mesmerising, that you can almost forget the pent-up anger from what you read about India previously.  

So, after all this, why do we Indians still love Tintin when we are so bored to talk about the World Wars? 

Maybe it is because of how we have lived over the years. 

We, the modern Indians, are descendants of countless wars that waged within our boundaries for centuries and still, our recent history is all about the 200 years of colonialism and small battles for the sake of independence. In that time, towards the end of the British rule, the world wars waged from America to Turkey to Japan. We were the biggest army of WWII and yet none of the folklore reeks of India. So, like Eve’s never-ending quench for the forbidden fruit, we have always been attracted to the politics around the world that never affected our daily lives. Be it the world wars, the oil crisis or the cold war. Heck Armstrong is perhaps more popular than Rakesh Sharma today. That is what precisely Herge did to us. He talked about the biggest crisis in simplest of way. It was a mixture of satire, truth, fantasy and romanticism. We drank it all.

Or maybe it is because of what Tintin resembled. 

He was not a superhero. He was a decent looking reporter from somewhere beyond kaalapani, who has no ill vices, does the right thing, dresses neatly and most importantly wander in the land of unknown without any fear. He has a job for which he earns enough money to sponsor his trips, without a father asking him about his goals in life and a mother asking him to tie the knot. Plus, he does not talk about romance, neither mentally nor physically. Isn’t he the perfect gateway to the dreams we have always dreamt for ourselves? In Bengal, he came early with the taste of wanderlust, mystery and subtle remarks about politics. The three things that catches our imagination within a second. Moreover, being an ideal representation of a Bengali mother’s perfect child helped him fly into a little child’s bookshelf. From where he never disappeared, just got passed down from one generation to the other.

Moving out of the literature, let us talk about the technicalities. With his brilliant brush and realisation of perspective, Herge talks about the society at large, it’s functions, barriers and all those hard terms an economist use in a such a simple words and pictures that makes you feel at ease while brushing through them. You don’t realise, but your subconscious does and stores it, and redirects you to that same picture over and over again. Remember the brilliant picturization of Moon, the detailed underwater see through the shark-shaped submarine, or, my favourite, the wonderfully detailed picturization of a make-believe Inca King’s Diwan-e-Aam when Tintin and co. accidentally barges in. The side characters did their part as well. Haddock was as funny as he was serious. He was honest, comical, painfully drunkard, yet something about him made you follow his footsteps. Or else, billions of blistering barnacles will head your way. Calculus was genius lost in his own life. Bianca was ever-reliable, Thompson twins were the ever-humorous.

Tintin was a mixture of everything. 

He taught us politics, he taught us history, he taught us science, astronomy as well as companionship. Personally, he taught me what quarantine stands for, where llamas are found, why an elephant trumpets, why glasses break when Bianca Sings. He was also my primer to calculus.

For nation that has always aspired more than it could grasp, a small Polynesian boy became the ray of hope and continues to do so, with flying colours. For the young kids who either loved or hated to read, Tintin gave their imaginations the fuel it required.

So, as an ode to the millions who tread this path before me, and to the billions to follow after, I hereby raise my toast to celebrate yet another product of the war-stricken days. The one which made us believe.

Credits :

1. India's undying love affair with Tintin - Soutik Biswas, BBC(2011)

https://www.bbc.com/news/15680397

 2. India first for Spielberg - Robin Bansal, Hindustan Times(2011)

https://www.hindustantimes.com/hollywood/india-first-for-spielberg/story-IrjJzfKtVzn53XCfC5URAL.html

 3. [VoxSpace Selects] The Boy In Blue – 90 Years Of Hergé’s Tintin - Puja Sinha(2019)

https://www.voxspace.in/2019/01/30/tintin/

4. Tintin in India: The epic that wasn't - Atul Sethi, TOI(2007)

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Tintin-in-India-The-epic-that-wasnt/articleshow/2094744.cms

 5. All Wiki Links.

Rastapopoulos : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rastapopoulos

List of Tintin media : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Tintin_media

The Adventures of Tintin : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Tintin

Tintin(character) : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tintin_(character)

 6. Basic Information Help : http://en.tintin.com/

 7. A Tintin timeline: https://nationalpost.com/afterword/a-tintin-timeline

 8. Dark Secrets Behind the Creator of Tintin : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUvxC8Qf3Bw

#tintin #herge #comics #comic #india #world #world war 2

[blapisblogs]

So the idea behind this “review” is that Corey Taylor is to look back and judge the film adaptation of Pink Floyd’s The Wall while Doug Walker sings parody songs about it. Allegedly. I guess. I don’t know.

Something I should probably bring up now instead of later: Corey Taylor hasn’t said or sung anything yet despite being a notable guest star in this “review”, just Doug Walker. If you've seen the film, then you know that at the beginning of this “review” Corey Taylor is supposed to be standing in for the character of Pink Floyd. You’d think that this would mean that at least some of the parody songs would be sung by him at some point since Bob Geldof (the actor who played Pink) did get to sing for a bit in the film, but, well, spoilers: he doesn’t. Worse still, this means that Doug is also playing the role of Pink for this “review” (and at one point he’s also arguably Roger Waters, which is even more confusing since Waters never appeared in the film, let alone as himself) since he’s the one doing not just all the singing but also some other things we’ll talk about later. It might be some kind of reference to how the songs in the film are sometimes sung by Geldof and sometimes aren’t, or maybe even how the songs in the original album were usually sung by Roger Waters and sometimes by David Gilmour, but even still that’s not a good direction to take this in since this will make people who know the movie scratch their heads and go “Which one’s Pink?”

The next song is a continuation of “When the Tigers Broke Free” parody (which, I remind you, is a song about how someone found out his father died in World War II while he was a child). Look, Doug, I get what you’re trying to say about how Roger Waters had a massive ego behind the scenes of this project (I don’t know what he’s like now so I can’t say if that’s still true or not), but that doesn’t make it okay to mock the trauma he went through. Then again, Doug Walker has a track record of having unhealthy views on abuse both in fiction and reality, doesn’t he?

[Lyrics (and snark) below the cut]

Good old Pink Floyd Made a movie devoid Of even the slightest bit of subtlety

[And you’d know all about not being subtle at all, wouldn’t you?]

The production was fancy

[Because heaven forbid a movie put any effort into its sets, design, and aesthetics! Sarcasm aside though, isn’t having a good set, you know, a good thing? I don’t even understand what criticism he’s trying to make here or even agree with it since the film isn’t really what I’d consider “fancy”. Maybe if he actually explained why he thinks it’s “fancy” I’d at least understand it better, but spoilers: he never does.]

Way too damn angsty For adults to take seriously

[I don’t know, Doug, I think more adults take what Roger Waters had to say in this album and film more seriously than they would with a majority of your work. I mean, there’s an entire website dedicated to analyzing The Wall and I’ve seen Wikipedia give more details about most if not all of the songs for this album (and Pink Floyd’s music in general) than I have for almost any other songs, so clearly somebody takes them seriously.]

But I found it one day Behind dad’s porno stash hidden away

[So you decided to parody the scene where young Pink finds the scroll from King George saying his father died in the Battle of Anzio, something clearly inspired by how Waters’s father actually died... by comparing it to a teenager finding The Wall in his dad’s porn stash. Wow, just... wow. That’s pretty damn tasteless of you. I expected better from someone who brags about how their father was in the military and has stated how much he personally hates when the military’s portrayed in a particularly bad way in films (and this is coming from someone who hates the military and is the child of an ex-Marine).]

And my eyes still grew big at the feelings he felt And discovered I felt the same thing Kids’ emotions are flawed But they’re nevertheless raw Felt when The Wall broke free

[The fuck does that even mean? That kids are unable to comprehend how they feel about something or why? Are you making fun of teenagers, or are you trying to work words you know the kids these days use into your lyrics so maybe you can get their attention and get a laugh? Both? Neither? What are you even trying to do here?]

Every rock star that’s wild Was a rage-driven child Like in this movie

[Do you yourself understand why a number of them - including Waters - had so much anger that they felt they needed to express? Because I know some of the lyrics for the next song, and I really don’t think you do.]

They will drink just like Floyd Most of them falling Into the void

[Are you... trying to imply that this movie is propaganda to turn everyone into someone like Pink Floyd? Is... Is that what you got from this film? Because if so, then I’m baffled as to how you even came to that conclusion, especially considering the ending of both the album and film make it more clear that what Pink’s been doing to himself throughout most of the album/film isn’t good for himself or those around him.]

And that’s why I watch Despite it being so whiny Y’see

[No, actually, I don’t see. You’re calling Waters bringing up some serious issues with his life in song form “whiny” without explaining why. It’d be one thing if you maybe said this about the songs based on how one of his ex-girlfriends cheated on him, but as we’ll see later you give him the same crap for writing things based on his other, much more serious problems. In fact, I’d say you somehow give him more crap for the songs about his more serious problems than you do for his arguably petty ones. This seems poorly thought out at best and cruel at worst.]

#Blapis tears down NC's The Wall #death mention // #long post #bold text warning

[ginnyzero]

Retelling Old Stories

I've written a book based on old fairy tales and legends and am currently reviewing the Shrek movies in Action Movie Friday. (Shrek 2 post coming next, I hope.) I thought I'd talk about retelling fairy tales, myths and legends.

Myths, fairytales, legends, these are the stories that are near and dear to our hearts. And let's face it, they're familiar, comforting and popular. Fairy tales such as The Sleeping Princess, The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast have been told over and over to young children for generations. These stories are oral traditions passed down from generation to generation and have strayed quite a bit from their horrific and sexist roots. So much, that outside of a few key points their original creators may not recognize them anymore.

These oral traditions form the basis of the hero's journey which can be found in high fantasy stories such as Lord of the Rings and Science Fiction stories, such as Star Wars. They've been satirized (Ella Enchanted, the movie), parodied (Shrek) and outright made fun of (Mirror, Mirror) and also taken far too seriously (Snow White & The Huntsman.) Just as much as they've been played straight (see the Elemental Master Series of Mercedes Lackey.) And they've been mixed together until almost unrecognizable. (The Princess & The Frog, Frozen, Once Upon a Time, the 500 Kingdoms also by Mercedes Lackey.)

The great thing about fairy tales and myths and legends is that they have a very low risk level. People are far more likely to pick up something to read of watch that is relatively familiar to them and that they know they already enjoy rather than a brand new concept they don't understand and aren't sure they'll like. Fairy tales are comfort food. People know they like them. And given a choice between a concept they aren't sure of and a fairy tale based media, they're more than likely to choose a fairy tale based media.

So, how do you go about retelling these fairy tales and making them fresh and new for your audience? This was a question I (sort of) asked myself when I started to write the Dawn Warrior. (Available in Ebook & Paperback.) How do I take Sleeping Beauty and make her different without relying on, say, what we know of her through Disney or from Grimm, not the TV Show. (Which honestly, isn't much in either case.) And make them partly relevant without losing making a good story?

Change the Roles:

What if the Princess really isn't the Princess? What if she's the bodyguard in disguise that's protecting the real princess from assassins? (The Decoy Princess, Dawn Cook) What if the Princess is also a spy? (The Princess Series Jim C. Hines) Maybe Prince Charming is actually an actor!

I mean, come on, in real life unless your Prince William and Harry and work for the British Royal Navy, royals don't really have adventures. (I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of Queen Elizabeth either.)

Or, maybe the Princess and Prince aren't really the good guys after all. Maybe it's the Big Bad Wolf or the evil stepmother or even the sea witch. (Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, Gregory Maguire) Or, to borrow from Hoodwinked, the Big Bad Wolf is really an investigative reporter trying to do an expose on Red Riding Hood. (I mean, she can't be all that sweet and innocent.)

A good example of this was a recent Sleeping Beauty movie that was in the horror genre. (Unfortunately I heard it was a really bad horror movie.) The Sleeping Beauty in the movie was supposed to be the damsel in distress and ended up being both the trap and the villain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdEo_t-iVbM

(I'll just leave this here.)

Change the Setting:

Fairy tales in SPACE!!! (Lunar Chronicles, Marissa Meyer) Okay, there aren't a lot of fairy tales in space. I think I saw another example on instafreebie the other day. In fact, there aren't many romances in space either. (I was listening to a podcast about an indie author who was doing this and she was the first writing romances set in the backdrops of aliens?) But, this is like Star Wars. Greek Myths in SPACE!!!! (Seriously, Star Wars is built around the classical hero's journey. The franchise even freely admits it in their authorized literature. I've got a book by Bantam called Star Wars: The Magic of Myth that goes through it step by step.)

This is one of the easier ways to make fairy tales seem more relevant and seems to be currently the most popular. Grimm the TV Show, Once Upon a Time (in Wonderland), The Harry Dresden Files, and Fables, all take fairy tales and legends and drop them into the middle of the modern world. I include Harry Dresden, not because he's playing out a fairy tale so to speak, but he's some sort of misguided Prince Charming type on his own hero's journey. The book Charming by James  Eliot, takes the character of "Prince Charming" plays it straight, and makes it a bloodline that is involved in some sort of knighthood charged with keeping the mundane world safe from the evil things that go bump in the night set in modern times.

Mercedes Lackey took a slightly different approach with her Elemental Masters series. She took fairy tales, played them straight, but set them in Edwardian times right up through the First World War. By doing so, she was able to show how the beginnings of the modern world like industrialization and rail roads and wars fought with machine guns instead of swords were effecting the world of magic and the magical creatures. (For instance, all the pollution made it easier for evil or nasty type elementals and creatures to thrive and good elementals and creatures that couldn't abide cold iron were dying off or going into hiding.)

Change the Genders:

Let's face it. Fairy tales are pretty sexist, no matter what your gender is. I had in the first draft of the Dawn Princess an entire rant by Roxana, who is a 'Beauty Asleep' about the differences between how a female Princess who is cursed to sleep and a male Prince is cursed to sleep and how neither tale does royalty any justice whatsoever.(Seriously, in the male version, when the Princess who had been sitting by his bedside took a nap, the clock should have reset, the Prince shouldn't still have sneezed and been woken by the maid.)

Maybe it's really Prince Charming asleep in the Castle and well, Beauty has to belt on her sword and gird her courage to get through the hedge and kill the dragon. Or, the tower bound male Rapunzel is intruded upon by a Pirate Princess who is looking for gold, not love. Maybe it isn't a brave little tailor but a brave seamstress! Or it is a male who is captured by a bunch of cannibalistic female bandits.

...

Okay, there is taking some things too far. (That story is terrible no matter what.)

Apply some Common Sense:

In fairy tales, things don't always make sense. I read them and go "why? why would they do that?" A lot of times Princes don't get punished for their ill deeds. Another Prince comes along, "saves" them and they go about their adventures without showing any sort of remorse for what they did in the first place. Princes don't become goose boys or shepherds or kitchen tweenies.(Or at least, not very often, I think Faithful John/Hans is about the only one I can think of.)

No, those punishments are reserved for Princesses who have been tricked into changing places with their maids and end up being goose girls or in the kitchen. (I can think of half a dozen variations of that tale.) And the Princess, instead of finding a nice baker or farmer to settle down with who appreciates her, instead figures out how to reveal her plight to the Prince who actually married her uppity maid/sister and seems happy with the maid/sister and once the maid/sister is out of the way, marries the Prince. (The Prince was tricked, happy to be tricked and the Princess took him anyways? That makes no sense.)

A really good example of this is the original and horrific Beauty Asleep tale. In the original tale, the King comes upon Beauty Asleep in her tower and rapes her, while she's asleep, repeatedly. In fact, he gets her pregnant with twins. The babes are born and he doesn't even take them with him! No. He leaves them with their sleeping mother. One of the babes gets hungry, as babies do! And sucks the thorn out of her finger that was keeping her asleep. Beauty wakes up. The Queen finds out about her existence. Tries to kill her. The King kills the Queen in turn and ends up marrying Beauty and bringing her and his twins to the castle.

Just what the ever loving hell?

It's good to be king?

No, really, the Queen should have taken Beauty's side. They could have killed the King for being an adulterer and ruled the kingdom together setting up the twins as the heirs. Female solidarity. Because the story as written is insane.

There's a post wandering about tumblr about swan maidens and selkies. And how awful the stories are about the men who take the swan maiden's cloaks and the selkies' skins to force these women to be their brides. One of the reblogs adds the caveat that it feels like these stories don't take into account the actual nature of swans and seals. Swans are pretty. They look graceful.

Swans are mean, they hiss, they bite, they're incredibly aggressive and they can break bones. Approach with caution. Don't try to steal from them. Don't try to pet them. Aggressive swan is aggressive. Okay. Anyone who steals a swan maiden's cloak deserves the punch in the face!

And seals, seals aren't all that nice either! Zefrank1 hasn't done a true facts about seals, but maybe he should. Male seals are called bulls for a reason! Elephant Seal bulls charge at each other when they fight. Leopard Seals are considered one of the ocean's more dangerous predators and take on whales and sharks. Seals train well to do tricks. Look,  just, don't mess with them because not only are they cute and have sharp teeth and claws, they're smart. Do you really want to mess with the woman who can steal all your nets and drive the fish away and beat you to a bloody pulp? Seal fights involve mud wrestling.

Add some reality to the stories. Give the actions of those involved real consequences. Change the personalities to actually reflect the animals they are sharing their bodies with.

Mash things together:

This is another popular tactic and TV Tropes calls it the "Fractured" Fairy Tale. Think how in Once Upon a Time, (spoiler alert) Rumpelstiltskin is also the Beast of Beauty and the  Beast and his father is Peter Pan. And he's the grandfather of the Truest Believer and thus the "father in law" of Emma Swan the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. And that barely dips a toe into the confusing of Once Upon a Time Family relationships.

Mercedes Lackey also did a version of mixing up of fairy tales in her 500 Kingdoms. In the 500 Kingdoms, The Tradition is a form of magic that ties to make fairy tales happen no matter what type of tale they are and no matter if all the pieces are actually 100% correct. Fairy Godmothers are there to steer the tradition so that disaster doesn't strike constantly. (Because what if the Prince of the Cinderella tale was actually a Princess or well, a Prince who was too young, too old, or just liked other Princes.)

Fables does this as well. Prince Charming is the same Prince across Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. Sleeping Beauty ends up marrying the Beast in her second marriage. (Prince Charming is good at wooing, not staying.) The Gingerbread witch of Hansel and Gretel ends up being the witch who puts most of the tales in action across the Enchanted Forest. The last arc I read, Rose Red was making her own version of Camelot (and there was much trepidation about how that was going to turn out, probably badly.)

Grab a bunch of different stories that seem to work well together, stitch them together in a way that makes sense or seems fun. It's okay not to always tell the exact same tale.

Add Real People's stories:

Look, if you're going for a more empowered woman in your stories. There are plenty of women in history that were actually pretty awesome. And I'm not just talking about Esther from the Bible or Rahab. (Both pretty awesome ladies.) There were female pirates and female queens who outwitted and beat their male counterparts to be on the throne and to keep themselves out of jail. There are female scientists, female snipers and well, I'm sure if you look hard enough you can find something a woman did in real life that men get praised for more often.

In fact, one person go so fed up with the way fairy tale princesses are praised at places such as Disney, they created a site/book for girls about such heroines at Rejectedprincesses.com.

Youtube has videos labelled things like Top Ten Badass women from History you probably don't know about. (But if you'd read Rejected Princesses you actually might!)

So, don't be afraid to use some real world inspiration to give you ideas about how awesome your female characters can be.

And these are just a few ideas on how to take something old and make it something "new."

In the Dawn Warrior, I took a bunch of these. I applied some common sense. Changed the Princess' role. And really mashed some things together. But, I kept a medieval fairy tale like setting because I wanted to keep this series different from my other series, Heaven's Heathens MC, which is a light science fantasy that could read urban fantasy if you squint at it. (Or maybe it's the other way around.) Two series set in the modern/future world seemed a bit silly to me.

Mostly, my advice is if you want to retell a fairy tale or myth or legend, have fun with it. Take your ingredients, mix them up as needed and don't sacrifice your story for message. (Because really, that gets old very quickly.)

Whelp, now if you like fairy tales there are plenty of pieces of media in this post to check out. Happy reading/watching/researching!

#writblr #wrtblr #writing advice #writing tips #fairy tales #myths

[winterknight1087]

Science Songs for Their Sunlight

Summary:  Logan and Virgil are science YouTubers; Roman and Patton are dealing with these introverted scientists. Lo and Vee write two songs for their boyfriends.

Word Count: 4,988

Warnings: food mention, two small kissed on forehead and cheek, small amount of angst

Pairings: Romantic LAMP

AO3 Link    My Writing

This is a random idea I had while watching AsapScience so made a small AU out of it, I guess. The two songs are from AsapScience. Highly recommended to watch the videos before reading, or not, whatever I guess :) Science STYLE Cover - Taylor Swift Acapella Parody

The Science Love Song

“What are you doing, Vee?” Logan slumped into the seat next to the man.

Virgil glanced at his boyfriend, deciding if he wanted to address the issue immediately or let it sit a little, before letting out a sigh. “I’m taking a small break from working on a possible new video to look through our YouTube comments for future experiments.”

“Hmm…” Logan was trying to be interested, but nothing really mattered compared to what was on his mind. “What is the video idea? Another lab?”

Virgil nervously shifted. “No, it’s a song. People liked the “Science Wars” one, so I figured that I could be petty back- I mean people would like another song?”

That caught Logan’s attention. “Why do you need a means to be petty and what has Princey done this time?”

Virgil went red as he started playing with his mouse. “I… well… Ro was just being Ro and probably doesn’t mean it. It’s just that it felt a little too personal and I didn’t tell him to stop because we were just poking fun at each other but it just kind of stuck with me so I figured that a passive-aggressive science song would make me feel a bit better about the whole thing. Now that I’m saying it all aloud though, I’m realizing how stupid all of it is and I am now just wasting your time and have already wasted a bit of my own time working on it…”

Logan gently moved Virgil’s hand away from the mouse and set it on his chest. “Virgil, breathe with me. We can discuss the cognitive distortions you are experiencing once you are breathing properly.”

Logan quietly worked the man through the breathing exercises, relieved to have a real distraction from his own issues with their other partners. Finally, Virgil was breathing properly and sat back, looking awkward, but otherwise better.

“Now, let’s talk this through. You are welcome to feel whatever you felt regarding Roman’s… comments. Would you be willing to tell me about them?”

Virgil sighed. “It was just passive things like ‘you nerds are so interested in something so out of style’ and that we aren’t even doing anything fun like making iPhone apps or whatever.”

Logan nodded, shoving his own irritation at Roman’s comments aside. “So, you are working on some song to help you achieve what?”

The man’s head hid behind his hands as his voice squirmed out of his fingers. “It’s a Taylor Swift parody of her song ‘Style’ but about science.”

“May I see what you have so far?”

Against what was probably Virgil’s better judgment, he switched to the video ‘script’. Logan scrolled through the work Virgil had already put into this. It was just as dramatic as ‘Science Wars’ had been.

When did he do all of this work? Logan couldn’t help but wonder.

“If it is any consolation to you, Virgil. I believe this would be incredibly well received by our fans. I also believe it is a fair… what is the term?... oh clapback at the science haters.”

“Yeah?”

Logan nodded. “Yes. You have my full support and willingness to participate in this parody for our channel. Please inform me when you wish me to set up our cameras and sound equipment for the recording.”

“Heh. Thanks, Lo.” Virgil had a small grin now, but it quickly vanished. “OK, so my problem has been addressed. What’s got you all weird?”

It was Logan’s turn to sigh. “I may have overheard our partners discussing how my attempts at showing affection are sublime.”

“I don’t see Patton ever saying something like that,” Virgil stated.

Logan nodded. “He wasn’t openly saying it, but he had been with Roman discussing ways to explain what love was because, and I quote, ‘Logan just doesn’t seem to understand’.”

Virgil thought that over before carefully answering. “That still doesn’t feel like something Pat would say or do, Lo. I have a feeling that you are missing a bit of information from what happened.”

He nodded. “That is what I assume as well, but it is still hard to not worry about. I don’t wish to bring this up with Patton as I am sure it was supposed to be a private conversation, but I wish to do something.”

“Huh, same solution for different issues.” Virgil huffed with amusement.

“What do you mean?”

“A science love song,” Virgil answered. “You can show Patton that your understanding of what love is may not be the same as his, but you do understand, and you can fill it with cute little lines that Patton will love.”

Logan thought about it. “I… believe that may work. One issue though, I do not write the songs we perform. You do. I am not well-versed in song-making.”

Virgil smiled at the poor nerd. “You write a bunch of lines about love and science, all your own words, and I can arrange it into a song. I should be finished with my petty revenge by the time you are done.”

“But lines like what? That ‘the chemical formula for love is C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2’?”

“‘…and you make my brain the chemist who produces it.’ There you go. One line of science love.” Virgil commented. “Wait, do you really have the formula for love in your memory?”

Logan wasn’t sure he had ever blushed as deep red as he was right then. “I will plead the Fifth before returning to my study to consider what you have proposed.”

“Nerd.” Virgil laughed as he returned to his own work.

 *     *     *     *

 “RoRo, I’m starting to get worried about those two. Neither of them has shown up longer than a few minutes to get more coffee or a snack from the fridge since yesterday morning.”

Roman’s eyebrow shot up. “Well, I figured Vee would be off hiding but Lo is too?”

Patton gave the other a questioning look. “And why do you figure VeeVee?”

“I…Well… We were having some of our normal banter and I think one or two of my comments shook him more than normal. I tried to talk to him about it, but he said that he was fine.”

“Roman, what did you say to our poor anxious babe?”

“It was just normal banter stuff! We were poking fun at each other’s views of Disney, music, YouTube preferences, that sort of thing. I think one just got under his skin this time.”

“And what about Logan?”

“I didn’t say anything to him! Other than my normal morning and proclamations of love for our dear nerd!” Roman threw a hand over his chest, pretending to be offended that Pat would suggest he hurt two of his loves in the same day. “Maybe he’s helping Vee with whatever I said that set him off.”

Pat leaned against the counter thinking. “I don’t know, Ro. I’m just getting worried about the two of them. Normally, they would at least have a meal with us if they were doing stuff.”

“It is nothing to be concerned about, Patton.” Logan’s voice appeared before the man himself. “We are merely working on some interesting video ideas for our channel.”

Roman raised an eyebrow at him. “You almost sound excited, Lo.”

Logan rolled his eyes but didn’t respond to the prince. “Were you requiring us for something, Patton?”

“No, but I can just miss seeing my two favorite science nerds!” Patton answered, cheerfully, desperately trying to keep his concern to a minimum.

Logan started preparing a couple of sandwiches. “Both of us have made sure to seek you out and show you that we are fine, Patton. There is no need to be concerned about Virgil and me. Our video is just very special to the two of us, so we are focused on that right now.”

“What’s the video about, our amazing northern star?” Roman asked.

Logan paused for a moment, which made the sunshine half of the relationship worry even more. “We will show the two of you once we are finished. It’s merely a video about an important formula: C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2.”

“And how you have that entire thing memorized is still beyond me!” Virgil stated, making the three men jump, not having noticed him join them.

“I thought you were deep in the middle of the composition, Virge.”

The anxious man grinned as he raised a very familiar item up. “I was, but we ran out of coffee.”

Logan grinned. “Oh, the beloved C25H28N6O7.”

“I guess the nerds aren’t making a video on coffee then?” Roman sounded like he was trying to state it, but his lack of chemical formulas made it into a question.

Patton took the coffee pot from Virgil. “Just how much coffee have you two consumed since yesterday?”

The starlight half glanced at each other before Logan answered. “Together? I want to say about six pots? I assure you that we have also had water and tea intermixed with the coffee.”

Patton’s finger tapped the side of the empty pot. “Before I let you two have another, I would like to ask that you two show up for dinner tonight, alright? Yes, Logan, I can see that you are making Virgil and yourself sandwiches. I still wish to have a proper dinner with all three of my boyfriends!”

Once again, the starlight half looked at each other. This time, the looks were clearly fond and amused, which ease something in Patton.

“Only if we might request that we have the house to ourselves tomorrow. We have quite a bit of recording to accomplish and would like the assurance that we aren’t bothering the two of you.” Logan answered.

“Bothering us? With what? You two rarely make enough noise that it passes through the walls.” Roman commented.

“What is this, 20-questions? Can we just make this request without having to explain everything?” Virgil asked.

Patton sighed. “Alright, but more secrets? I’m starting to become really worried about the two of you. Did we do something wrong? Please, just assure me of that. Did we do or say something wrong to either of you?”

“What?” Logan sounded surprised. “No, of course not, Patton.”

“Well, Ro has said plenty, but nothing is wrong, Pat. We are just excited about what we’re working on and we want to have it finished quickly. The two of you will be the first to see the finished product, Lo and I promise! You’ll understand once you see the video!”

“Alright,” Pat sighed. “I’m not sure what Ro and I will do, but we’ll let you two do your thing tomorrow.”

Logan smiled at him. “Why don’t you leave that to me? This part of the video process is pretty much Virgil’s job anyway. It’ll be a way for us to apologize for worrying you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to! We can figure something out.”

“Have and want are two different things.”

Roman, being the dramatic prince he was, pretended to crumple under the table. “Such horror! Lo-berry using Patty-Cake’s own ideas against him!”

“Perish then,” Virgil stated, taking the coffee pot from Patton and setting the machine up.

 *     *     *     *

 What the sunshine gays wouldn’t find out until dinner was that Logan set them up for a day of their favorite activities, ones that the starlight gays had no interest in participating in. He explained it away to Virgil that Roman wouldn’t be able to complain about never getting to go dancing for at least a month after tomorrow.

Virgil nodded along, knowing that whatever Patton and Roman had actually been discussing, they would understand just how much Logan loved both of them after tomorrow. A full day of things both of them loved and enjoyed? With nothing close to an ‘I’ll do it because someone else loves it’ option? Virgil was watching the planning masterpiece of a man truly in love.

 *     *     *     *

 The next morning, the four boyfriends enjoyed a sleepy breakfast together. Virgil had spent almost an hour making sure everything was perfect before Patton and Roman sat at the table. Logan came down a full ten minutes later but still appreciated the effort Virgil put in, though he was mildly concerned about whether Virgil had actually gone to sleep or not.

Once breakfast was finished, Logan presented Patton and Roman copies of their itinerary. He had already placed an extra in the car and sent a photo of it into their group chat, knowing that the two were probably going to somehow lose the paper copies and, if he were a betting man, one of their phones.

Patton was pulling on his shoes as Virgil started dumping some of their recording stuff on the living room couch. He could see how excited the normally anxiety-ridden man was. Virgil was humming a song, Patton wasn’t sure but it sounded like Taylor Swift, as he worked. The sight was enough to finally get rid of the worry Patton had been feeling and fill him with his own excitement.

Upstairs, Roman was starting to become more confused, rather than relaxed. Logan was acting very… un-Logan-like. He had a small, shy smile as he went about gathering things. Roman was also certain he could hear the normally stoic man muttering science stuff under his breath about atoms, balancing equations, and another chemical formula. Logan even went as far as to compliment Roman’s outfit!

“What is up with you, Calculator Watch!” Roman finally demanded.

Logan looked shocked as his body took an automatic step back. “What are you talking about, Roman?”

“You are acting weirder than normal!”

“Do I not normally compliment your choice of outfit when you dress up?” Logan asked, confused.

“I…Well… Yes, you do… But?”

Logan glanced at his watch. “Patton and you should be leaving fairly soon if you wish to make the movie.”

“Uh… Yeah, right. Off I go, I guess?”

Logan kissed his cheek before returning to whatever it was he had been doing. Roman was feeling even more off now but didn’t say anything else. Downstairs was almost normal if the Emo ever actually listened to pop music. The comment slipped from Roman’s lips before he’d actually thought about it.

“Not my fault that you are constantly getting weird songs stuck in my head. I have to listen to some pop songs in order to finally have at least the full song in my head when one of your random bursts gets a single line stuck.” Virgil answered.

“Oh, just let them be, RoRo. They’re excited about their video, so let them be excited. It’s a nice change compared to their usual show of interest.” Patton said as they got into the car.

“Which is little to none! It’s strange!” he answered.

Patton slipped his hand into Roman’s as he backed out of their driveway. “Put it aside and let’s enjoy our day out. Logan put a lot of thought into it, so let’s make sure we enjoy it!”

“True, alright, Padre, let’s see!” Roman reached into his pocket for his copy of the schedule, only to find it wasn’t there.

“Logan really does know us.” He commented, grabbing the car copy.

 *     *     *     *

 “So, you’re telling me that this song is designed as a simple thing because it’s Logan’s song?”

“Yeah, I figured simpler would be better for him.”

“Gurl, if those two sunshine and rainbow gays do not love this, I say the two of you dump them and let me join. I’ll even bring my own sunshine.”

“Remy, it is not considerate to drag Emile into a polyamorous relationship without consulting with them about it first.”

“Gurl, you are lucky those two will absolutely love this then.”

Virgil rolled his eyes before looking at all the friends who had agreed to help them on such short notice. “Thank you all so much for helping us with this. We have a lot to do, and little time so let’s get this long day of filming over with!”

The team decided to conquer the Science Style video first as there were a lot of working parts to it compared to the Science Love Song. Did everyone in the room know it was insane to try and record two full songs in one day? Yes. Were they determined to beat some imaginary record on video making skills? Absolutely.

As Logan checked in with everyone, he felt relief fill him that Pat and Ro were out for the day. The team had split into different groups: filming, animation and drawing, editing, and sound, each taking up a room of their own. Filming had the living and dining room. The art group had the kitchen, which had the most light as they screamed, kicking out any and everyone trying to take their lighting away. Editing sat in their bedroom, taking advantage of all comfortable spots as they worked. Sound sat in the house’s converted studio. Logan was shocked at the amount of work they were all placing into this video, and he was suddenly struck with something as he knew he couldn’t have ever made better friends.

With his small break, Virgil made everyone sandwiches for lunch. They’d all agreed on pizza for dinner as a reward for all the stuff they had accomplished today, but Virgil figured that sandwiches were a safe enough option for lunch. People would be able to eat them as they wished when they weren’t solely focused on their task. Once that was done, and as he was called back to recording, he sent off the pizza order so that the store had time to make the ten pizzas. Thank goodness for coupons, Virgil couldn’t help but think as he was maneuvered to his spot.

 *     *     *     *

 “RoRo! Look!”

Roman turned and saw a little pottery painting shop. “Lo’s schedule says we’re supposed to be having lunch, Pat.”

“But we’re going to a buffet later! Let’s go make something for our precious scientists! We can make them new coffee mugs!”

Roman pretended to think about it as Patton put up his greatest attack. “Oh no! Patty-dog eyes! One of my three weaknesses! Right up there with Lo’s pleased smirk and Virge’s giggles! I shall never recover from this great defeat! What shall we put on these mugs of those nerds?”

“Well, they are super into whatever science video they are making today, so why don’t we make it something about science for them? LoLo has been super interested in chemistry and those long formula things, so we could put like different ones on it with like the weird drawings that go with them! It’s a simpler idea, but he enjoys the smaller details and we could draw the formulas for happiness, love, interest, that sort of thing. For VeeVee we could do little science images like lab coats, little goggles, and a flask thingy or the Mars rover with the 1s and 0s spelling out ‘we love you’! It’ll be still science-y but full of images of science things he likes!”

Roman nodded as he opened the door for his heart. “How about you work on Lo’s and I do Vee’s? I think I have an idea for his.”

Patton nodded. “Alright, but we are signing both of them with lots of love, OK?”

Roman placed a kiss on the other’s forehead, as a worker came over to help them. “Of course!”

 *     *     *     *

 “OK, Patton just texted saying that they are leaving the swing dance club–which I still do not believe exists, for your information,” Virgil commented to Logan.

Emile giggled. “Guess it’s time for all of us to skedaddle outta here if we want to be One Jump ahead of your SO’s!”

Talyn glanced up from their laptop. “There is still so much editing to do.”

Logan chuckled. “We can explain to those two why you and Joan are on our couch. It means so much that all of you helped us do the impossible. Thank you!”

“Gurl, I think Lo needs to go to bed if he’s getting sentimental. Well, see you ladies and non-binary gentlefolk tomorrow for the adorable reveal!” Remy announced as Emile dragged him out the door.

Logan and Virgil got to cleaning up once everyone but Joan and Talyn was gone. Thankfully, their friends had been neat, so it was mostly straightening things and taking out the trash. The two boyfriends grinned at each other before plopping onto the couch with the last two.

Almost half an hour later, Patton and Roman walked through the door, talking about something they’d seen earlier. They were mildly startled to see two extra people in their living room, but Patton let out a squeal before tackling Talyn in a hug. After some chitchat, Joan suggested they head to the studio to continue working on the edits. Virgil went with them, after telling Patton that Logan was to go to bed. The man did not appreciate it but did as he was told.

Three of the four boyfriends curled up in their bed, unfortunately, used to the forth not being there. Pat pouted at that thought, wishing Vee would go to bed more often, but if Joan and Talyn were going to work through the night on the video edits, Virgil was going to be there as well. Patton didn’t know that the other two in the bed were also thinking the same thing.

 *     *     *     *

 “RoRo and I need to go pick something up. Did you two want us out for longer?”

“Nah, I think we are good to go. Would you mind if some more of our friends came over later though?”

“Our dark prince wanting to throw a party? Who are you and what have you done to our beloved introvert!”

Joan grinned. “Exhaustion has finally claimed the boi!”

“I’m not the one who couldn’t say Viking metal at least.”

“What?”

The two sleepy ones started to giggle while Talyn looked ready to shove them into a fiery pit. “They kept saying Vetal Miking.”

“How the three of you ended up discussing that is beyond me,” Roman commented. “But I have no issue with a friendly get together! How about you, Patty?”

“I’ll be sure to pick up some more snacks! We seemed to have run out.”

Logan snorted which sent all three sleepy ones into a fit of exhausted giggles. He rolled his eyes at them, which made them giggle even harder. Pat and Ro went to pick up their mugs while Logan made Vee, Joan, and Talyn take a nap. Not too long afterwards, Roman and Patton returned with bags, chatting, but were quickly silenced by Lo, who waved at the sleeping figures on the couch. After a quiet lunch, Logan texted their friends that they were welcome to return for the reveal.

It was approximately two hours after lunch, Logan surmised, by the time everyone arrived, each ready to watch the final product of their extensive effort yesterday. He was a bit nervous to see what it looked like as only Virgil, Joan, and Talyn saw what was finished. Finally, Virgil pulled up the first video and told their sunshine half that this was the first of two videos. He started with the Science parody of Style.

Roman instantly knew this was what became of Virgil’s unease with his comments. Not that Virgil would ever know, but Roman tucked away the thought ‘avoid making fun of science videos’ into his list of things not to poke fun at. Despite this, he was laughing with everyone else at the two nerds trying to be cool and just being their nerdy selves.

“I guess I now know why you were humming Taylor Swift yesterday.” He joked once the video was finished.

“You were still the reason I even knew of that song’s existence. So, it’s still your fault.” Virgil laughed. “So, is science out of style?”

Roman laughed as he yanked the nerd into a hug. “I guess not, but you two pretending to have style is so out of style. I love it and I love you dorks.”

“Alright, so next song is quite a bit of a change in tempo from that, so you two enjoy!”

By the point the song got to the line ‘I’ll be your star if you’ll be my space’, Patton was sobbing and clinging to Logan. Lo was adorably shy and smiley and Patton just couldn’t help but cling to the stoic nerd. He didn’t fully understand some of the more specific scientific parts but it was a love song and his two favorite nerds wrote it and like it was perfect!

“Alright, so I understand the first video, but what was up with the second?” Roman asked.

Logan awkwardly cleared his throat. “I may have overheard you and Patton discussing how I don’t seem to understand love, so Virgil proposed that we make a scientific love song.”

“Oh no no no no!” Patton pulled him in even tighter. “I was saying that you didn’t seem to understand what I was doing to show you affection! That wasn’t about you, Logibear! You show love in small things. I wanted to know what I could do to show my love to you, in ways you would be comfortable with!”

“See, there was more that you didn’t know, Lo,” Virgil commented.

“Wait, then what was that formula you were sprouting out then?” Roman asked.

Virgil huffed. “He has the formula for love memorized and tricked me into realizing what it was too! Blasted chemicals for dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin! He tricked me into memorizing the formula as well! He didn’t even use the cute line that started the entire song idea! Like, come on! You’d have been a puddle for ‘the chemical formula for love is C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2, and you make my brain the chemist who produces it’.”

“Gurl, I almost want to see you try and shove that line into the song,” Remy commented.

“Actually, that reminds me! RoRo, this is the perfect time to give them their presents!” Patton giggled.

“If our beloved heart says so, then so shall it be!” Roman announced before picking up two bags, one purple, and the other navy.

“GAAAAAAY!” one of their friends called, causing an amused chuckle to ripple through the group.

Logan and Virgil accepted their bags with confusion. Logan pulled his mug out first and looked over the various chemicals and their structural formula designed on the mug. Each was in one of their favorite colors. Dopamine was in red. Oxytocin was in a navy blue whereas Serotonin was in a lighter blue. The final formula was endorphins, which were in purple. Logan bit his tongue as he began to pick out the minor errors in the structural formulae. He would probably end up taking a Sharpie or something and carefully fixing the errors later, but for now, he vocally praised the mug, knowing that Pat and Ro designed it with him in mind, which was more worthy of his attention than some small errors.

Virgil pulled his mug out to find the word STEAM on it. Behind each letter was a cartoon of something related to it. The ‘S’ had a lab coat, goggles and a beaker like a scientist. The ‘T’ had an iPhone with little apps that Roman has suggested Virgil attempt to make. ‘E’ had a computer screen on it with a bunch of 0s and 1s on the screen (which Roman would later tell him was binary code for ‘we love you’ and Virgil did not tear up at that, no siree). ‘A’ was the props from their Science Wars video. ‘M’ had a coordinate plane with the shape and equation of a heart on it. It was so extra and so obviously Princey and Patton that Virgil couldn’t help but love the mug, even if it were a bit more eccentric than his normal style.

“Wow, you two are just as nerdy as we are.” Virgil commented, before yanking the other three into a tight hug.

“Well, we do happen to have two brilliant scientists as our boyfriends, so it was bound to happen that we would pick up some nerdy things.” Patton giggled.

The group hung out for a bit before people had to get going. Logan stopped Remy and Emile before insisting that they ensure Joan and Talyn got home safely. The non-binary pals tried to fight it, but Mama Remy was already in full swing, so they accepted their fate. Virgil watched, knowing that they had it lucky, especially when Mama Lo turned on him.

Half an hour later, Virgil was cocooned in blankets with his boyfriends surrounding him on their bed, ensuring that he wouldn’t make a bid for freedom. He had a fat smile on his face as Pat and Ro gushed over the videos and Lo explained some of the finer points to them.

How two scientists managed to fall in love with these two rays of sunlight, Logan could only theorize. He did know that they were the loves of his life. He watched as his starlight fell asleep to the sunshine’s chatter, finding his eyes getting heavy as well.

Patton was unsurprisingly the next one to fall into the realms of sleep. While he loved the videos equally, the love song was soft and specifically for them. His mind couldn’t help but replay every word from it, softly singing him to sleep with the insanely intelligent men around him.

Roman was the last to give in. He carefully set aside Lo and Pat’s glasses so that they didn’t accidentally break them. Roman smiled, staring at his three loves: Logan, his stars; Virgil, his moon; and Patton, his sun. He gave an amused huff as he shut his eyes. Maybe Lo and Vee did rub some of their nerdiness on him, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

#LAMP #CALM #tw: food #Science songs #Sage writes #Fanfic

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 4 Review

Hit-or-miss introduction makes way for some golden moments.

The opening skit for Snakeway to Heaven has a satisfactory comedic weight to it, though upon re-watching it for this review, I noticed an editing mistake I had never noticed before, despite becoming a fan of the series in 2012. When Goku falls off Snake Way, the scene actually freezes on that frame. It wouldn't be noticeable if the truck itself hadn't frozen as well. Small gripe but I thought it was an interesting observation to share.

[Title Sequence]

Goku's scream carries over into the first few seconds of the intro and resumes near the last few seconds, which I found to be a well played editing decision.

Once Goku has stopped falling, we're treated to an amusing take on the filler ogres from hell. The blue one is given the Swedish Hansel-und-Gretel accent while the red one speaks like a German or Austrian. And puritan as ever, KaiserNeko made sure to use the original, unedited footage. It would’ve been funny to see them maybe have a scene or two with the ogres wearing their different HFIL shirts, or maybe a bit more fun poked at the Ocean Dub, but no such luck in this scene.

TFS doesn't spend too much time on this scene at all, really. It’s filler, and so nothing here really matters to the story aside from laugh-factor. The comedic nature of this first scene is that it’s rushed. Goku swindles the two ogres out of a fight, like he’s trying to swindle the show into skipping this filler arc, as he immediately guns it for the exit... and then stops?

It would've been a much more emphatic punchline if the scene had changed right here. Instead we have an awkward stop-and-go motion to the scene they're trying to orchestrate and it feels stilted. A lot of this scene after Goku finds the exit I find to be entirely unneeded. Raditz has already been established as being in Other World so the callback here wasn't necessary, the special King Yemma fruit could be argued for having no plot relevance as it never existed in the manga, and we didn't really need that post-Goku scene to get the hint that these ogres were very chummy with each other when it came to subjects like oil wrestling and speedos.

But then, where would they put that great joke about the Blood Fountain? And the small dialogue about Dabura I did find risible as a fan of the original DBZ, despite my usual curmudgeonly take on yet-to-be-established jokes. Like many things, this does get much better as the series continues, eventually turning some moments of sequence-breaking into moments of well-crafted foreshadowing. This is just a funny pointless joke, and a nod to fans of DBZ, that has no impact on the actual story of DBZA itself.

Again, this isn't too much of a big deal. Just a whole work-with-what-you've-got bizarre scenario likely due to bizarre source material. Yet this was all deemed funny enough to edit, voice and keep in the episode instead of trimming it out like the other 90% of this mini-arc. I'm not convinced the presentation was done to par, but I do feel that the inclusion of "Goku in Hell" is necessary for the sake of tying loose ends together. Also, it would've been a far more egregious decision to have that cold open end in a do-nothing cliff hanger. So, a goofy scene and perhaps iffy writing, but not terrible.

We then return to the person who has so far been the breadwinner of the series, and Piccolo hasn't let up on either the humor or Gohan. Kind of a contrast to how somber he is in the show. It's not whack-a-doodle humor, it's exaggerated frustration and exasperation, which lands almost dead-center on my humor nexus.

But even better than Piccolo has to be this next scene - Debatably the first "meme" or seriously quotable moment in the show's history: Popo's Pecking Order.

On paper this doesn't look like it'd be necessarily funny, but when you attach to it a very do-nothing character like Mr Popo and turn him into a sadistic dictator, combined with the special emphasis and excellent delivery of the line, it's simply outstanding, and raises the bar for this entire episode.

Now I've said before that the source material of Z shouldn't factor into the end product that is DBZA. If I were to show this episode to my mother, I shouldn't have to show her all 291 episodes of Z so she can understand it. The show should be able stand on its own. That's not to say parody should have zero factor in the writing of this, or that there should be zero references at all, ever. By god what a silly thing to imply. But people can still enjoy Spaceballs even if they haven't seen Star Wars.

However, in the case of Mr Popo, DBZA does a good job of setting up Popo in the same way Z does. He initially speaks in a low, subdued tone, and is spoken of by Kami as some kind of adviser, or perhaps a respected peer, but as someone who is indirectly and respectfully implied to be below him. After all, it's called Kami's Lookout, not Popo's Lookout, and Kami is literally regarded as "The Guardian of Earth" while Popo just appears to be... there.

That all changes the second Kami leaves the outdoor area and Popo is entrusted with the reigns of the new Z Fighters. LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS!

The Krillin Owned Count also chimes three in this scene, and shows its first signs of picking up momentum.

Back on Snake Way, Goku gets eaten by the head of snake way, which leads into Jadoshin's palace. This is such a quick, cheesy, quirky but funny edit that I'm not sure what to say beyond I enjoyed it. It just hits you and then boom, you're in her castle.

The joke of Jadoshin being voiced by Solid Snake (Princess Snake, Solid Snake, on Snake Way) seems like a bold strategy but I think it's one of the better jokes they've committed to that ended up being really good, at least this early on. The voice even lends itself to the awkward dialogue that would've simply lost its charm or fallen flat otherwise.

Unrelated, but one of my favorite lines from the dub happens in this scene, where Jadoshin's attendant simply says "I've got something to show you. And it's my gun.", and then kills herself with it. I didn't expect to see that in this scene, but a small part of me did hope.

When Goku finishes up in the hot springs (with a Metal Gear Solid box gag to boot) and tries to leave, Jadoshin then states that she wants Goku inside her. Goku is confused, of course, and smash cut to Goku flying for his life from a massive green fire-breathing snake trying to eat him.

Jadoshin however still has the voice of Solid Snake even in this form, complete with periodic grunts as they maneuver through the air. This eventually transitions into Jadoshin saying waka-waka, and the backdrop changes into a Pac-Man map. The Pac-Man skit was perhaps a bit overdone, with Goku finding meat instead of the normal fruit, but on the whole this was a very "solid" scene.

During the Ozaru scene, I feel like Piccolo just screaming "MOOOOOOOON!" in the DBZA Kai version is funnier than the "Stop mocking me!" we got in DBZA proper. Also, donkey kong barrel, really? It's not bad, but it's an "oh, brother" moment, like hearing a very bad pun.

When Gohan transforms back into his human (or Half-Saiyan technically) form, his junk is censored with a Dragon Ball. This is an interesting contrast in philosophy over the years, as KaiserNeko explained the decision "to not censor baby dicks" in a Episode Breakdown livestream on the Broly Abdridged movie, where Broly's baby wiener can be seen uncensored in a few scenes of that movie.

The episode ends with Goku continuing down Snake Way, having tied Jadoshin up into a tangled ball, prompted the GAME OVER screen and someone yelling "Princess Snaaaaaake!"

Conclusion

Despite my lackluster thoughts on how Hell was handled, this episode had a lot going for it compared to it's predecessors! Most of the episode was spent on two strong scenes, and while I didn't think the Ozaru scene was anything special, it didn't feel out of place or off-kilter, but provided more insight and I suppose world-building into the relationship between Piccolo and Gohan and the constant reminder that they're training to eventually face off against the Saiyans. This is further reinforced by Stinger #2 with Nappa and Vegeta en route to Earth.

This was almost opposite to Episode 3, which I felt had strong bookends. While I didn't find the end of this episode to be bad, it was simply "alright" when compared to the Popo and Jadoshin scenes. Characters are starting to have stronger internal identities instead of simply being parodies of their original counterparts. Though it is noteworthy, and rather obvious, that this only applies to characters with speaking lines. Tien, Yamcha and Chiaotzu made their first appearances but had nothing to say. Maybe it would have been cluttered or detracted from the pacing of the Popo scene, but it may prove challenging to properly attach sentimentality to these characters in the short few episodes they have before the inevitable happens. 

Because y'know, nobody watched Dragon Ball.

Score: 73

Passing Thoughts

I liked that Stinger #1 dealt with the actual ramifications of DESTROYING THE MOON unlike the series proper did. I guess it was just no diff for the Dragon Ball world?

"He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain." "Looks fine to me." "IT USED TO BE WATER!"

"I killed everything here with my bare hands. Including the bear hands." -Pictured in the top left of the frame are actual bear hands.

"Stop grunting, it's creepy!"

"CLOTHES BEAM!" and “That is easily my most metro attack.”

#slothcritic #dbz #Dragon Ball Z Abridged #tfs #teamfourstar

[aion-rsa]

How Batman Evolved During Tom King's Run

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Bruce Wayne's adoptive father is the key to Tom King's conclusion to his run on Batman.

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This Batman article contains spoilers. 

Tom King did the impossible. In a comics industry founded on the bedrock principle that only the appearance of growth should ever be shown, he’s told a massive, three-year, 85-issue story that has Bruce Wayne actually develop as a character.

With Alfred’s death earlier in the final story arc, "City of Bane," many would have expected Bruce to shun his supporting cast and dedicate himself to revenge, leaving Gotham littered with shattered criminals as he pushed his grief through his fists and his enemies’ faces. But that’s not what happened. 

We got a chance to talk with King about character growth, how his epic tale developed, and what’s next for Batman, Catwoman, and King himself in the DCU. 

Den of Geek: You talk about Vision, Omega Men, and Sheriff of Babylon being a thematic trilogy, right?

Tom King: Yeah.

Can we look at Mister Miracle, Heroes in Crisis, and Batman the same way?

Oh yeah, 100% yeah. That's what I think of it. Yeah. I'm glad someone noticed.

It's about heroes managing trauma, right?

It is. I call it the Trauma Trilogy. That's just too easy, maybe. I feel like the first story about my war experience and [the main characters of each book] were all someone naively going into a situation and finding it much more complicated than they thought. And then these three were all about, I’ve said this publicly a billion times, about this nervous first-season-of-the-Sopranos breakdown I had in 2016 when I first started on Batman, and sort of how I recovered from that. And I sort of wrote it three different ways. Yeah, it's like some fancy dish, you know. The Trauma Trilogy.

Read More: How Batman Will Change in 2020

So the breakdown in 2016 happened after you had already started on Batman. How far is what ended up on the page drifted from what you initially conceived it to be?

I mean it's pretty close. There's some stuff that didn't quite pan out. Batman isn’t like a series like Mister Miracle or our upcoming Strange Adventures that we're doing. You have to write Batman with some degree of compromise because it's a much bigger platform and overlaps a lot of other books. You have a lot more eyes on it in terms of editorial control. And so yeah, it wasn't entirely a straight line, but considering it was 85 issues of DC's best-selling comic, I think it was a lot straighter than I thought it would be in terms of going from one spot to another.

It was always supposed to be about a love story and that was there from day one. I remember talking about that with my first editor, Mark Doyle...being like, “What is this book about?” And me literally just searching and searching until I found an old clip of the Batman ‘66 TV show. It was just like, “Oh man, I love this." The Catwoman, Batman dynamic.

And it hadn't been in the books in a long time. Not since, like, Judd Winnick, New 52 stuff. So that part about it, the fact that it was just one big love story. That was the same and Bane was supposed to be the main bad guy. But the stuff with Flashpoint, Batman evolved as we went along. I'd say that's the thing that's evolved the most.

We talked that second arc, I think, about Bane, Catwoman, and Batman being three sides of the same shitty coin. But now with Thomas included in there, it feels like it's kind of four points on a graph, labeling each axis. You've got like Batman who had privilege but lost everything at a young age. You have Thomas on the other end who had everything for most of his life and then lost everything. You've got Catwoman, who was born into nothing and kind of hangs on to everything but keeps it at arms length. And you've got Bane, who kind of grabs whatever he can and crushes it to death. As Thomas evolved into this, does that sound like what you were thinking at all?

Yeah, I do think they all represent this idea of who's top of the mountain in their own way. I guess you could say who does Gotham belong to? Bane sees Gotham as a prize that he has to win. Thomas sees Gotham as a burden. For Catwoman, Gotham is just who she is and she's sort of queen of that city. And then for Batman, it's ... I mean that's what the whole question is. What does he mean to Gotham? 

With Alfred's death, was it kind of a backdoor way of you taking a look at Bruce's origins? You know, using the death of a father figure to kind of shock him out of being Batman the way that he was shocked into being Batman?

Yeah, but it was also a way to show what the difference is between Bruce losing his parents when he was young and connected to them, and Bruce losing Alfred having been raised by Alfred. To me that was a tribute to sort of Alfred's parentage of Bruce for all these years and him guiding him through that trauma. Because you expect Batman in that moment to bury himself in anger and go insane and do all the things that drove him to be Batman in the first place. But instead of that, he hears Alfred's voice and he composes himself. To me it's sort of about the maturing of the character and maturing of it through the love of Alfred. I know I said this in the book, there are no good deaths. There's a nobility to death if you've treated your children right.

Read More: Batman and Catwoman Face Thomas Wayne in Final Tom King Issue

Well, I would quibble with that only because I think you could have killed Batman at any point in the last 85 issues and whatever was happening would have been a hell of a way to go. Right? Like he has a heart attack on a ferris wheel with Superman. That's a pretty okay way to do it. 

Wait I did kill Batman! I killed him in annual number two.

Oh yeah! Yeah.

I gave him my ideal death. He dies instead as an old man surrounded by his family.

And that's the good death.

That's a good one. That's as best as you can do with no other choices.

After 85, it feels like that's kind of the direction, right? Batman for so long has been that traumatized little boy, to the point where it's almost a parody, and many of your predecessors have done something interesting with that. But it always feels like the traumatized little boy has been the dominant perception of him, at least in my adult life. Is this your way of kind of trying to push him through it? 

The story of Batman is unending conflict. I'm sure whoever comes after me will embrace the Batman of their own and I bless him for doing it. I know James [Tynion IV, the writer taking over Batman with #86]’s stuff is going to be, from what I've seen, amazing. Batman's not a story that I have the power to end. I just kind of come in and take the reins for a while and then pass it onto someone else as brilliant as James and Tony [Daniel, the artist on the first arc].

But I can sort of, I don't know, tell my story. I don’t know, maybe I'm too old to write Batman. Frank was 29 when he wrote The Dark Knight Returns. I'm 41. But it seems like as you get older and you actually see your parents pass, you see your loved ones pass, you realize that everyone has to go through that trauma. Right? You sort of realize that it can become part of you and something you're proud of as well. The grief never leaves you. It never leaves Batman. It's a wonderful metaphor. But also there's a certain joy to that grief because it sort of unites you with your lost ones.

So hopefully, as you go on, you sort of mature into that. I hate to say that the greatest hero America's ever created, which is Batman, never got a chance to mature into it like the rest of us hopefully get to do. Yeah, I mean that's what that's about. He says, when I was a child, I did childish things and now it's time to grow up a little bit.

Read More: Why Tom King Is Leaving Batman

So the action sequences have been phenomenal through the whole thing. There have been some stellar fight sequences, especially Jorge [Fornes'] last ten issues. Every time he comes in it's incredible.

He’s ridiculous.

They've been phenomenal. When I think back on the run, what I think is going to jump out at me are going to be the quiet moments. The double date, 12 Angry Batmen, Bruce and Selina grabbing a beer and watching football at a bar. What do you think was about those quiet moments that let you make them sing?

I mean, the first thing is the art. All three of those things you mentioned, you've got Lee Weeks...there's not a lot of people who can draw a dynamic room with just 12 people talking. Clay Mann doing the double date. Just him elevating himself and becoming the best artist in comics while I was watching. And then Mikel [Janin]. I've been with Mikel for five years now since Grayson. He did the first Batman I did and he’s doing the last.

It's really hard. I mean, as dumb as it sounds, it's probably easier to draw a dynamic fight scene than a dynamic quiet scene. So those guys are doing the heavy lifting.

As far as the other stuff goes. You know, it's ... DC Fontana died yesterday, right? The Star Trek author, and she's famous for saying, “Star Trek is not about objects. It's about characters.” Like, that's her thing. If you're writing an episode of Star Trek, don't make it about the thing. Make it about the people's relationships. So I think that that's what those moments are about is we've had a lot of conflicts. Fantastic, amazing conflicts about things. But I try to make my conflicts about the characters. Just trying to follow what she told me to do. What she said. Not that I ever met her but I remember what she said to do.

So looking back, is there an issue that stands out in your mind as something that you just absolutely nailed? Like, it's the Batman/Elmer Fudd issue, right?

No, I hate it. [laughs] I love that issue, but there's two typos in it. It still drives me crazy. I'll never manage to get them to fix those. When I first got the comp finished, I threw in the trash I was so pissed. "Oh, I ruined this one. Oh well. I'll try again next time." And then I won awards for it, it was ridiculous.

All three of the annuals I really like. I like the dog story that David Finch and I did in the first annual, which was suggested by my daughter when she was like five. 

And I liked the second annual, which has sort of the first dates and the beginning of the end of the Catwoman/Batman relationship. That annual's the jumping off point for the whole Batman/Catwoman series. So that's how much I like it, I'm trying to copy it. 

And I like the fourth annual I did with Jorge, which was just sort of like a chance for me to do a thesis statement on what Batman is. And there was seven days of Batman in seven different genres and then it continued sort of forever. I like those three.

Read More: Why Tom King's Batman #86-106 Would Have Been About

Similarly, is there an issue that you wish you could get another crack at?

Oh man, there's a ton of issues I wish I could ... I mean, I look at the dialogue and I’m like, "Oh, I could have done that better." 

It took me a while to learn how to work with Joelle Jones, who's one of the most talented artists out there right now. And I think, I feel like I did a Wonder Woman issue with her and I feel like I wasted two of them first of all, because the story I wrote turned out to be very similar to a story that Joe Kelly had done. I hadn't read the story but I was very...I would have changed it if I had known. I sort of understood how to write for [Joelle] by Batman #44, which I think is really nice, but I think it's 39 and 40, the two Joelle Jones issues, I wish I could have another shot at doing well.

I really liked those.

TK: They're beautiful! They're drawn beautifully, but I don't know, we could have done something...it was really fine, but I feel like it could have transcended. I missed it.

I guess. The Justice League flirting between the two of them in the cartoon is high on my list of preferred pairings. So like the way that you played with that made me happy. Is there a character you feel particular ownership of now? Like if somebody comes in and changes Kite Man, are you going to throw the issue across the room and scream, "Fuck no, that's not how this is supposed to be done."

No, I think that's kind of silly. It's kind of like when you sign up for this gig, that's part of the agreement and coming into comics is realizing that this is a medium that extends to other people and no one has benefited more from that than me, who's twisted the work of Jack Kirby and Marv Wolfman and Bob Kane and Bill Finger for my own benefits. I feel like denying that to others would be hypocritical. 

Gotham Girl's named after my daughter Claire. Claire Clover is her name. So I do like her. Like I have in my daughter's room a David Finch piece or a page that he did and a page that Clay Mann did they gave to me for her. So I like her because she's named after my daughter.

Wow. That's got to be pretty sweet.

I know. I try to tell her brag, brag to your friends! But does she brag?

Read More: Why Batman Still Matters

She'll get there. As soon as she shows up in a movie, everyone's going to be like, "Oh, you're so cool." Would you do it again? Marvel comes to you tomorrow and says, “We want a hundred issues of Spider-Man. Do whatever the hell you want.” Do you jump at or do you run screaming?

I don't remember anyone ever saying, do whatever you want with Batman.

Well, fair.

It never happened. Would I do it again? I mean I have no regrets about doing it. On many levels, I feel like I'm artistically satisfied with what happened. I feel like I made my career and made my life and I had fun. 

But it's that second thing you said, the control of it. As I move forward, I kind of want to do, I don't know, like, I want to do super ambitious stuff and it's hard to do super ambitious stuff in that environment.

I feel like I got as close as I could get with [Batman]. I had a brilliant editor in Jamie Rich, huge support from Dan DiDio, but I don't know if I'll ever get that much again. Going forward, we'll see. But I just want to do something, I don't know, big and ambitious and literary and I don't know if that's possible anymore. If it is, I'll go.

You did the Sheriff and Omega Men and Vision Trilogy. You did the Heroes in Crisis Trilogy, or the Trauma Trilogy. Where are we going next?

Yeah, something new. I'm trying to move on. I'm trying to move on from fat middle aged men looking out windows, thinking about their lives. I think it'll be like another trilogy of books. It will be Strange Adventures, [Batman/Catwoman], and another book that hasn't been announced yet.

And all of this will be these 12-issue miniseries, like these little novels and they'll all be focused on a new, bigger theme. The way things develop when you're writing, you can write it one way where you're like, "I'm going to write about this theme," then you go write it. But when I do that, it just turns out shitty.

The best way I think to do it is just to write straight through so your unconscious mind brings it to the surface while you fight doing the same thing over and over again. So I'm not 100 percent sure these things are still forming as they form, but it's going to be a lot about all the shit that's in the news every single day. 

As much as Mister Miracle was about sort of the trauma of looking around our current environment, thinking, "My God, this can't be real. I feel like I'm trapped here," Strange Adventures will be about how do we fight back this pernicious stuff that seems to surround us. And I think that's what Batman/Catwoman will sort of be about too.

Read More: The Actors Who Have Played Batman

So hopeful.

Hopeful is the wrong word because some of them are dead dark books. I don't feel hopeful right now. But I feel like, I don't know, it feels like we're in the middle of the war and you don't feel hopeful in the middle of the war, but you still feel like you'd have to fight. You know?

Yeah.

It's more about that feeling, not the feeling that, "Oh God, we're going to win." But the feeling of, "Oh God, we can't lose or else."

And Strange Adventures, I've read the first one and it's ... I couldn't love it more. It's 28 pages. Doc [Shaner] and Mitch [Gerads] are doing crazy new stuff you haven't seen in comics before, which I think is cool in terms of mixing the two arts together. The two, I don't know, styles or whatever.

I couldn't be more proud of it. I remember Garth Ennis famously saying that with The Boys, you out-Preacher Preacher. So we're going to try to out-Mister Miracle Mister Miracle, to steal from Garth.

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Feature Jim Dandy

Dec 18, 2019

DC Entertainment

Tom King

Batman

from Books https://ift.tt/34z0t1B

#aion-rsa #Books

[lace-anne]

Each Season of Horrible Histories as Ranked by Me

Season 1)

The OG of the series

Literally looks like a film project done by high school students who were strapped for time and cash

Hilarious skits, though

My main man Terry Deary makes several guest appearances

Nostalgic for me bc I watched it during it's hey-day in 2010

Still a little bit underdeveloped in writing/acting/filming

Bob Hale performs the Macarena

“ORCHESTRA - PLAY SOMETHING SAD!”

7/10 rating

Season 2)

Better film quality; very nice!

Every song is an instant classic

"All hail the king of bling!"

Memorable sketches that I love, love, love to quote/reference

The debut of the gems that are Historical Masterchef and Historical Come Dine with Me

Mat Baynton in drag on more than one occasion

"Clifffff Whiiiite-Liiiiie!"

Basically everything awesome about Horrible Histories started with this series

9/10 rating

Season 3)

Mat Baynton as Dick Turpin (AKA the first time my ovaries exploded)

This season helped me learn all the kings and queens of England, which I can still recite today over seven years later

Cliff Whiteley continues to be an absolute fucking gem of a skit series

“Noooo... And what did they do with all the jelly??”

Mat Baynton as Emperor Elagabalus (AKA the second time my ovaries exploded)

The English Civil War song has actually helped me with my A-Level History assignments - thanks, HH!

“ONLY IN ZIS WEEK’S DANKE! MAGAZINE”

Admit it - Boast Battle made rap battles cool again

No complaints about this season at all tbh

10/10 rating

Season 4)

Fantastic writing; so many classic quotes that I continue to use almost every single day

"HOLA! INDIA! HOLA! INDIA!"

Thanks, HH, I now have a crush of Cesare Borgia: one of the most evil men in history

THE RETURN OF THE COMEDY QUEEN SARAH HADLAND

"ENGERLAND! ENGERLAAAND!"

The songs are just perfect, hit after hit after hit

Parodies of my favourite artists: The Monkees, David Bowie, Queen, etc.

This show is like wine by Series 4, only getting better with age

The Victoria and Albert song made me ugly cry

Ben WIllbond is just really fucking hot in this season for some reason

9.5/10 rating

Season 5)

The show starts delving into more modern history, which is GREAT!

They cover touchy topics like slavery and civil rights, all in a very mature and factual way

Rosa Parks is a QUEEN and the HH writers MAKE THAT KNOWN

Again, all songs are total bops

Vikingland is such a clever concept (also I'm a sucker for Simon and Garfunkel, so maybe I'm biased)

TERRY DEARY IS BACK FOR ONE LAST CAMEO, MOTHERFUCKERS

The final song made me cry the first time I saw it - so fuck HH for playing with my emotions

My favourite series by far

10/10 rating

Season 6)

Some of the OG actors stayed on for this series (incl. my main men Jim Howick and Simon Farnaby!)

Chatty Death was a pretty good end segment

Skits weren't all that funny

Songs were forgettable (except for Norman Style - always manages to crack me up)

SIMON DIDN'T REPRISE HIS ROLE AS WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR - TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS

Although I love Lawry Lewin to death, his Oliver Cromwell performance wasn't great

A false start as revival series go

4/10 rating

Season 7)

The best "new" cast so far

Ryan Sampson

Great episode topics covered in really fun and engaging ways - almost like the OG series

A fantastic Beach Boys parody

Ryan Sampson

Actually acknowledges LGBT history (namely the Spartan army fighting battles as couples)

TOM STOURTON KISSES HIS MALE CO-STARS IN A SKETCH AND CAUSED EVERY GAY NERVE IN MY BODY TO BE SHOT

Reduced me to tears bc of the Heroes song

The Beatles and Elvis Presley are mentioned. Automatic win.

RYAN. FUCKING. SAMPSON.

9.5/10 rating

#horrible histories #i love horrible histories #macs attack #datgurlmacs #real talk with macs #tv shows #bbc #cbbc

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge - Day #20: Favorite Song/Musical Monster

1.       The Phantom of the Paradise

Phantom of the Opera has spawned plenty of spin-offs and parodies, but none are weirder and cooler than The Phantom of the Paradise. Born in that stage-musical wasteland between the sinking of Hello Dolly and the rise of Lloyd Webber, Phantom of the Paradise was a bizarre rock-opera that was a mixture between the Phantom of the Opera, Faust, and The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Our Phantom this time around is named Winslow; he didn’t start off deformed, but got that way through prison experiments and a record press accident. Winslow just looks and sounds awesome; his teeth are made of iron, and he talks through a voicebox that sounds like a ghost screaming through a CB radio. The entire movie has a bird theme to its characters, so Winslow’s helmet winds up looking like a hawk. In fact, a lot of people probably only know about this musical through the comparison between Winslow and Griffith from Berserk. It doesn’t help that their stories are kind of similar; locked in prison, mutilated, deal with the forces of evil. It’s probably just a coincidence, but I’m not gonna’ lie and say it wouldn’t be a cool reference if it wasn’t. Still, people should give this movie a chance on its own merits, just because of what campy fun it is.

2.       Lilith Immaculate

Cradle of Filth is a symphonic black metal band with a distinct gothic horror bent to their albums. They’ve done several concept albums, including one based around Gille de Rais and another on Elizabeth Bathory, but Darkly Darkly Venus Aversa was an original story. At the center of the album’s story is the monstrous goddess Lilith, trapped by the Knights Templar during the crusades and now possessing a girl sent to a nunnery. It’s all so incredibly gothic; sins of the past, sexual frustration, religious oppression, graveyards, doomed love.

I might not be the best judge of character, but Lilith here hits the nail with the hammer as far as gothic monsters go, reminding me a little of The Great God Pan or Gormenghast. Part of Lilith’s appeal is that, for all intents and purposes, she wins; the album ends with her former lover realizing that he has unleashed something he could never control, and now the world is doomed. Lilith heralds the dawning of a darker age, the antithesis of everything Victorian values holds dear. You can’t help but cheer for her as she readies to make war on the world.

3.       Stanton Cree

Ghoultown is a gothabilly band, which means that it’s like rockabilly but with some Southern rock and it’s about ghosts and vampires and werewolves. Needless to say, they’re pretty great. Their best known song is probably Drink with the Living Dead, which tells the story of a cowboy forced into a drinking match with an undead gunslinger. The ghoul, Stanton Cree, shot a man for his beer and can’t rest until someone beats him in either drinks him under the table or beats him in a duel.

I love ‘Weird West’ songs, and Ghoultown is the epitome of that. Stanton Cree has gone insane from eternal life and is determined to find somebody to beat him, but he won’t go easy on his opponent. It’s the kind of story that belongs in Deadlands or some other cowboy horror setting. It lacks the morality tale aspect of Ghost Riders, but that’s a deliberate decision to emphasize just how bizarre the story is. It’s a perfect mood piece for a dark night out on the Wastes.

4.       The Erlking

Schubert’s Erlking is an old-fashioned fairy, the dangerous and wild kind that need to be feared. As a father rides through the forest at night, his son sees the Elf King trying to seduce him to come away with him. It’s always nice to be reminded that fairies and elves aren’t nice, that they can be as dangerous as any monster or demon. But it needs to be done with a certain degree of subtlety, at least for a while, a delicate touch before the other shoe drops.

The Erlking is of course also a metaphor for death, and the father believe his son is only hallucinating as he dies in his father’s arms. It reminds me of the old medieval stories about how Fairyland was sometimes just a trap made by Hell, or how fairies would appear in afterlife narratives for children. Whether death, fairy, hallucination, or all three, the Erlking is still a chilling figure.

5.       The Phantom of the Opera

I don’t claim to be in the Phandom, I only have a surface knowledge of it, but I feel like the Phantom is still an important monster/horror icon, even before becoming a musical star. The Phantom’s story, even from the beginning, has been about toxic people and learning to grow up. Born deformed, the Phantom embittered himself against the world, becoming a genius at music, engineering, and just about everything else, but a child socially. The lesson he learns is about putting another person’s wants and needs before your own, and that’s still a vital lesson that is incredibly painful to learn. Naturally, I don’t care about that; I just enjoy making fun of Love Never Dies and deciding which Phantom is the best based on grodiness of deformity. Obviously, that’s up to objective taste, but it’s Ramin Karimloo. Karimloo has the most extreme deformities, and is prone to fits of ACTING, so Karimloo takes top spot for musical Phantom. The best non-Musical Phantom is, of course, Lon Chaney, followed by Charles Dance, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Again I’m… I totally don’t care about this musical. I swear.

6.       Mefistofele

I would argue that Boito’s Mephistopheles is the definitive version of the character, even more than Goethe’s. If nothing else, Boito’s Mefistofele defined the look of Mephistopheles, casting him in his famous red cavalier’s outfit. Mephistopheles here is also much more analogous to the Devil than his own separate entity here, since the opera begins with Mephistopheles challenging God to a bet over Faust’s soul. While Mefistofele might not be where the devil started enjoying his work, it’s definitely a far cry from Marlowe’s Mephistopheles urging Faust not to give up Heaven.

Still, despite the loss of complexity, Boito’s Mephistopheles is more personable, more charming, even a bit more human. There are situations he can’t control, and his relationship with Heaven is more casual. In the end, when Faust repents, you get the feeling that Boito’s Mephistopheles was enjoying the ride, and is almost as upset about not being able to have fun anymore as he is about losing his bet with God.

7.       The Water God

Anything by Dethklok kind of feels like cheating, since they were explicitly made to be a parody band of death metal. At the same time, though, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that the entire underwater setting where sea monsters have race wars with mermaids isn’t the dopest shit. And then one of these sea monsters finds a deep sea oracle and they turn into some dark ocean god and it’s all so freaking cool. It is unnecessarily cool for a joke band meant to shill for an Adult Swim show. But the entire epic of the water god here is genuinely more compelling to me than a decent chunk of the fantasy characters I have read about. Maybe I need to read better fantasy stories, or maybe everyone else just needs to get with the program and starting writing Metal epics about killer tritons.

8.       Ghost Riders in the Sky

Now this is the original Weird West song. Demon bulls, undead cowboys, nightmare horses; this song has got it all. And of course, this all goes without saying about how the song is also the unofficial theme song for Ghost Rider, one of my favorite superheroes. The song has that same ‘weird tale’ feel that Drink with the Living Dead has, which is probably because it’s based on an actual Texas folk tale. The image of a special Hell for cowboys is interesting, but I’m more fascinated by the prospect that Satan has livestock. Are all the Devil’s farm animals Metal like his steer? What about his chickens? Does Satan live on a giant dude ranch? Now I want some kind of Western/dark fantasy story where the Devil is a cattle baron all dressed in black and red.

9.       Red

All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 was… God, I’m really putting this on the same list as Mefistofele good lord, but All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 was, well All Dogs go to Heaven 2. I mean it wasn’t the worst direct-to-video cartoon sequel of anything ever, it kind of just drifts there around the middle, but like many DTV cartoon sequels it has, unfortunately, a really great villain with a really great villain song. Designated antagonist Red is a demonic cat who’s after the angel Gabriel’s horn. His design is actually pretty good, and I appreciate the implication that if all dogs are heavenly, then all cats are therefore demonic minions. This is of course a known truth to anybody who has ever had to clean a litterbox, but it’s always nice to be reassured.

However, that alone would not let Red make the list; it takes more than being the redeeming feature of a DTV cartoon sequel to get here. What clenches it is Red’s pedigree; Red is voiced by Broadway musical veteran George Hearn, who has been in everything from Camelot to Wicked, but is most famous for being Sweeney Todd during the musical’s performance in 1970, and stayed with the production through its national tour and its Emmy-winning TV performance. In short, this man was the definitive Sweeney Todd, at least until Johnny Depp. All Dogs 2 even acknowledges it by having an entire sequence set in a demonic barber shop and theater. And I’m just a sucker for that kind of reference, so the evil red cat edges his way in.

10.   The Beast of Pirate’s Bay

There are plenty of Voltaire songs I could have picked, but it figures I would pick the one about a sea monster. A variety of leviathans are conjured up to describe the Beast, without any actual answers given. It figures that like any good tall tale, the Beast changes from teller to teller. The truth is, though, that I find this to be one of Voltaire’s more sympathetic songs, and I can’t help but identify with the ending. Once upon a time there was a little me who loved sea life more than anything else too. The song takes a lower spot because of the actual nature of the monster, but the feeling still shines through.

#30 Day Monster Challenge 2 #30 Day Monster Challenge #Phantom of the Paradise #Cradle of Filth #opera #musical #Phantom of the Opera #long post

[eggheadsguidetorunning]

Top Ten Films I saw in @)!&

10.) Last Jedi/It

                I enjoyed Last Jedi, I think half of you will agree with that statement and another half will not where as the rest will not have even read this. But I did enjoy Last Jedi the use of space battles were awesome, the fight seen with Luke amazing, Lelia surviving in space weird. And that is the kind of problem with this Star Wars movie there are many great scenes but then there is something just off, something that doesn’t work at all. In the end this has just enough great moments to keep me loving it and interested in the next Star Wars, which I was probably already invested in.

                Considering another movie It was a enjoyable movie. It, that being the pronoun not the title although I guess it could still be the title I mean it works both ways NO focus Matt, had some great moments of friendship and development of strikingly relatable characters. At the same time there were for almost every two great moments some moments that were simply off. Like really, why did you decide to give a chain and a wife beater to the abusive dad after he decides to chase his daughter I mean at this point we already no he is bad news and is that also supposed to show that anyone who wears a chain and wife beater is suspicious for being abusive? I mean it is really nitpicking but that one net pick left me confused, I don’t know why it just did, for the rest of the movie which is still enjoyable. And since that is more of a personal scene that isn't right for the rest how about that rock throwing scene wasn't that odd?

In the end both these movies present a similar problem they are both here for nostalgic appeal and while being good enjoyable movies are weighed down by the few poor decisions they make. And if you don’t like a tie the bad news is that Star Wars wins the war of nostalgia for me because I still have memorized the sequence for the battle of yavin IV.

 9.) Captain Underpants

This movie confused me when I first saw it but the good kind of confusion. I was in awe of the fact that this movie, of all the Hollywood movies that were adapted from comics or books, this one this one for some reason decided to follow its source material precisely. Even with what it added seemed like something that could easily be added to and make sense in the source material. Like I could totally see George and Harold doing a parody of Handles Messiah when they found out a villain had a funny name. But this still led me to a question why Captain Underpants? As much as I enjoyed this movie why did this get a proper adaptation? I thought maybe I was reaching when I watched a critic I like talking about this movie and halfway through he stopped talking about Captain Underpants and started talking about the cartoons he drew as a kid. I having no artistic talent and barely even being able to write well, you are probably already tired of all the gramma mistakes I have made through this piece you probably also hate my jokes, didn’t write or make any comics as a kid but I did read many of the comics my friends and siblings wrote. That is when I realized the movie perfectly shows that feeling and care of being young and doodling stories in your notes and I put it here for that, also it is funny movie.

8.) Wonder Woman

This movie is awesome even with the beard helmet I love its use of Christiania to help get across the story of Greek mythology to a wider audience. I love the characteristics of Wonder Woman doing everything to help and the badass fighting scenes I love that the people without super powers help and make a difference. I don’t know what else to say without out spoiling it if you haven’t seen it see it this is the movie that will hopefully lead to more blockbusters with female heroes. Jeeze, it’s almost like if you make the movie more about the hero instead of the gender of the hero then it becomes a better movie who would have thunk it. Talking to you 1990s.

7.) Murder on Orient Express

The thing is these are turning into reviews and the general thought for this top ten should be: DUDE!!! you need to see these movies! And should say only that letting you go in cold I bring that up because putting a mystery on your list is not a good thing because there isn’t much for me to talk about because I don’t want to spoil anything. That being said I can say the portrayal Hercule Pirot is amazing the character is interesting in a manner I haven’t seen in a while. No not Sherlock Holmes interesting his own kind of interesting, I really hope we see more of him in the future.

6.) Disaster Artist

You’re tearing me apart James Franco. I mean this movie is still great despite the character of the actor playing a person with questionable character. In fairness this is a movie that needs to be seen in honor of not the room or tommy but because of Greg Sestero. This guy puts up with so much shit and forgives so much he needs to be a role model. Man he is such a good person just for putting up with this, go see this movie.

5.) Coco

Coco is a story about family and the necessity of letting family be free of family. It is about tradition and about not letting traditions being tie one down and most importantly is about forgiveness. It is a complex use of more contradicting themes that I am not smart enough to notice, but it still feels lacking. I think what weights it down to only number five on this list is that it seems too Disney it seems like the villain is too evil the ending is too happy, even for Pixar which had a string of bitter sweet endings. Of course the sweet ending makes sense I guess since that same problem hit Zootopia last year. In the end many won't care about that as Coco is still a stellar movie and the way it uses Hispanic culture is mesmerizing. 

4.) The Shape of Water

This movie is great. Like it is great fun I can't think of a award chasing movie that is as much fun as this one is. Everything happens in this movie EVERYTHING. Here's a slight list of things that happen in this movie, still trying to keep spoilers to a minimum so bare with the brevity, this movie is a comedy, an intrigue plot movie, a romance, a realism movie, a fantasy, a freaking musical, and a scam artist movie Ocean Eleven style. When I think of this movie I can only think of how fun it is which is why I want this movie to be the movie that wins gold for sucking Hollywoods cock if anything has to win it. I know Post will win but I want this one to.

3.) Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Maybe this should be four but naaahh, with more time to develop and grow the characters we loved from the first Guardians Guardians 2 is able to push  and to develop these characters as well as develop  and add more characters too develop. Plus I’m a complete and total sucker for a movie that provides a awesome soundtrack and then uses that soundtrack. I love this space rock opera I want more.

2.) Detroit

Leaving fun town next stop depression valley. Honestly the only real reason Detroit isn’t number one is because I didn’t see it in theaters I saw it on dvd, speaking of it’s the only reason John Wick 2 isn’t on this list. But Detroit is a horror movie I want to watch again and again because this is the type of movie that keeps me up at night staring at the ceiling hating myself and the world around me. It makes me use my mind to try and justify a world were this could even happen. Secondly this movie forces me to think from a perspective that I literally can never understand and offers a true piece of understanding with it. This is a movie that I can say changed me, maybe only a little, maybe a lot but it did change me.

2b.) Logan

I know I’m cheating but a lot of good movies came out this year so I’m going to cheat just this year. Don’t get confused this is 2b and is under Detroit its more like 3a I guess but still I maybe shouldn’t have put Logan on here because I almost forgot about it. But almost forgetting about it has more to do with it coming out so early in the year. It would be wrong to leave out an adult a truly adult version of wolverine and in many extent the X-men as a whole. This movie is fantastic in everything it does and I want more way more movies in the future to follow its example. We can have more smart adult super hero movies.

1.)Baby Driver

Like I said earlier I’m a sucker for a good soundtrack paired with great action. I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie and left with an adrenaline rush. The idea of making a movie in which one can only hear what the main character hears is extraordinary and someone else must have thought of it and I got to see that whatever it is even if it is bad. This movie is hype this movie is exhilarating this movie is insane. Let me put it this way in the first 6 min if the movie decided to end after this I would have seen everything I needed to see and this movie kept going from there delivering more than that. Baby this is a SWEEET movie!

#top ten #top 10 #movies #baby driver #Star Wars #last jedi #it #Critic #guardians of the galaxy #Captin Underpants #captain underpants #coco #detroit #the disaster artist