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unhingedgirlythings · 2 months

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FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

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You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader

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sturnioloarchive · 3 months

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"𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑺𝑻 𝑻𝑶𝑼𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑺" 𝑴.𝑺 :

❥ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 : 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒇, 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒓��𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒊𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈.

❥ 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 : 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒔 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕, 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅, 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒃𝒗, 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌 + 𝒅𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒕 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒚 𝒂𝒔𝒇, 𝒋𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒚, 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈(?), 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒚/𝒏, 𝒊𝒅𝒌 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒇 𝒊 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 :3

❥ 𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 : 𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒚𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒔𝒐 𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒋𝒇 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆-𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈.

༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻

You and Matt have been dating for almost 5 months, the most far you two had gone, was making out and grinding into each other, never anything else

You are staying over Matt's, of course he doesn't live alone, his brothers and he live together. But they don't mind your presence, so youre generally staying at theirs

The three of them were done with filming a video for their YouTube channel, it was night and while they were out filming you decided to take a shower then made them something to eat, almost 2 hours later Matt and his brothers got back, you were sitting in the couch, in the living room.

Matt immediately came to you "Hi" he said smiling

"Hi to you too" you answered shyly "I made you guys something to eat by the way.."

"You didn't had to baby, but thank you" he leaned in, to kiss you in the forehead

"Yeah y/n/n thank you" Nick and Chris said at the same time

"Chris let's eat" Nick said, both of them leading into the kitchen.

"Matt go eat" you said, smiling up at your boyfriend

"We actually ate, but they are hungry again..not me tho"

"You sure babe?"

"Yes my love" he replied honestly "do you wanna come upstairs, I need to take a shower then we can watch a movie or something?" He asked you

"Oh sure, alright." You nodded slightly, with a smile.

"Come on-" he took your hand, and you stood up from the couch. "Let's go" he continued, leading you to his room.

After you two got to his room, he closed the door behind him, and starting to pick up some pajamas "you can choose a movie if you want baby" Matt said, while coming to you so he can kiss you quickly..

"Okay" you nodded, after he got in the bathroom, and after you heard the water turning on. You started wondering if you should choose a movie or stick with your plan

You're 19 and still virgin, its not embarrassing for you but you wanted to finally do it, with your boyfriend. You trust him more than anyone else.

After 20 minutes of wondering, you decided that you want to do it, of course only if he wants to. You'll not force him if he's not in the mood for it.

After 10 more minutes you heard the shower turning off, moments later Matt came inside the room. Only in a pair of shorts, his hair still wet

"Hi baby..did you choose or?"

"No Matt..I uh-i don't know how to tell you but-"

"Did I do something? If I did I'm so sorr-" asked worried

"No-no matt! You haven't done anything baby..I-"

"Spit it out angel" he demanded you.

"You-you know I'm a..I'm a virgin" you said, blushing feeling embarrassed now "if you're in the mood, I want you..to take my virginity.." you continued, fidgeting with your fingers and not daring to look up at Matt

"Are you sure sweet girl?" He asked you, coming closer to you, and sitting on the bed. "You really want me to?"

"Yeah Matty..but only if you want-" you said looking up at him quickly

"Of course I want to, I want to make you feel good." He said quietly but his voice full of lust.

"Well..uh, when and how should we s-start?" You said, breathing shakily

"Take off your shirt and lay down." You did as he told you to, taking off your shirt and laying down on his bed.

"N-now?" You asked curiously.

"Shh, let me lead now..is it okay if I took these off?-" he pulled the waistband of your shorts "hm pretty?" He continued

"Y-yeah, please do." You nodded, faster than you intended to, which Matt chuckled at.

He started pulling down your shorts, you lifted up your hips to help him, after he was done he tossed them on the floor. Leaning down between your thighs, hooking his arms between your plush thighs and spreading your legs, he looked up at you for permission

You nodded at that, whispering an "yes"

After your answer, he looked at your covered pussy, he kissed your clit through your lace panties, you shuddered at the feeling. And then he suddenly ripped them out and throwing them behind him, and on the floor.

"Can I continue baby hm?" You nodded at that "Please matt.."

He leaned down to your now fully exposed cunt, he runned his middle finger through your embarrassingly wet folds

"So wet, that all for me hmm?" He asked teasingly

"A-all for you Matty.." He chuckled at that, and suddenly licked a stripe from down to your hole and up to your clit, you moaned out from that. Which made Matt to pull back

"Shh pretty, after all Chris and Nick are still here. Yeah?" You nodded at that, putting your hand over your mouth

"Good fucking girl" he groaned close to your pussy, and started licking again, you whimpered

Your mouth still covered by your hand, you suddenly let out a cry when he sucked on your clit, out of the blue.

"M-matt!!" You moaned out, which made Matt to pull back and slap your clit "be quite..for now"

You whined slightly at this action, Matt started suckling on your clit hard which made you cry out, but you quickly covered your mouth with your hand.

You felt the mattress below you, starting to move, you looked down. And saw Matt humping the mattress

Eating you out gave him more pleasure, than it did to you, he then moved his tongue to your hole. Pushing it inside and starting to tongue fuck you

You tried not to moan loudly, for the sake of his brothers, you felt your stomach tightening and you know what it was

After all you did touched yourself, "M-matt! I'm gonna-" you whimpered, which made him to pull his tongue out and lick over your slick slit

And he started shaking his head, the action making you moan out, "Matt! Oh fu-" you suddenly came, hard. But he continued

You whined from the stimulation

"Sens-sensetive matt..no more" you whimpered

He pulled back, looking up at you from between your thighs, the sight making you blush hardly

"Too sensitive huh?" He asked, his voice slightly raspy.

"Uhhuh" you nodded

He licked his lips, and went over you. Grabbing you by your face, and kissing you

You moaned at the taste of your juices from his mouth

He pulled away slightly and whispered

"Open" he demanded, and you opened your mouth

Then he spat on your tongue, you made a sound at that

"Swallow" you obeyed, swallowing his saliva.

"Good girl, baby, you're so good to me." He smiled at you

You felt your heart going warm at his praises

"I-im ready.." You said, blushing.

"Good baby, don't worry I'll go slow" he said, then kicking his pants and boxers away

He grabbed you by your cheeks, kissing you hungrily.

You whimpered into his mouth

"I'll push now, okay? I'll go nice and slow baby, I promise you." He calmed you down

And you nodded "please Matty.. I need to feel you"

"You will angel, don't worry" he said, then he grabbed his dick, he didn't needed to jerk of so he can get fully hard

He was already, painfully hard. He started rubbing his dick up and down to your slit

You whined from the feeling

"Pl-please matt!" You begged him

"Shh, I said nice and slow y/n, don't be a needy slut."

The way he degraded and praised you at the same time, made you feel tingly.

He continued rubbing his dick up and down, collecting your wetness and slick cum from your previous climax, after he made sure you were wet enough from his pre-cum and your juices

He looked at you "I'll push now."

"Please.." You nodded

He looked down, and spread your legs further. Pushing inside of you slowly

You whined from the stretch, he then pushed in his whole tip at once, which made you close your eyes and hiss

"You good baby?" He asked you, slightly worried.

"Y-yeah..keep going please"

He waited a little bit, then started pushing his whole dick inside. After he finally bottomed out be groaned at you tightness

"F-fuck, so tight and warm baby" he moaned slightly

"Oh M-matt" you whined from the feeling

He waited for five seconds then pulled out, but his tip still inside of you.

He looked down, watching the blood from your broken hymen coating his shaft. He groaned at the sight

"Pl-please move Matt!" You whined out, needing to feel his dick inside you

"Greedy whore" he spanked your ass slightly

Then he started to push inside of your gummy walls, once again, this time harsher.

"Oh g-god" you moaned softly, closing your eyes

"Eyes open bitch" he grabbed your face with one hand, squeezing so he can push your cheeks together

You opened your eyes, looking at his blue ones, now almost completely black from the lust

He sucked in his cheeks slightly, as to collect saliva

Then he suddenly spat on your face

The action making you whimper

"Good girl baby" he praised you after his "dirty" action

He started snapping his hips faster into yours

"Can you take it, if I move faster huh?" He asked you

"Y-yeah, please move" you looked at him, eyes glossy from the tears from pleasure

"Good" he then started pushing in and out harder and faster, only his tip inside of you.

He grabbed your plush thighs, pushing your legs to your ears.

He fucked his hard dick into your slick walls with an almost, animalistic force now

"Ma-nghh Matt!" The sounds you let out were so unholy, at thus point you didn't tried to stay quiet

"Such a slut, screaming like a whore while my brothers are here huh? Gonna make Chris jealous baby"

You whined at that, now trying to stay quiet.

"Bet you want him too huh? The way he looks at you, he. wants. you." The last three words were said while he was thrusting into your tight cunt

"N-no matt" you shaked your head

"No? You sure"

"I do-dont want him" you struggled to talk, his dick making you dumb and cock drunk

"Who makes you feel good? Is it Chris?" He asked while snapping his hips into yours roughly

"Y-you! Not fuck-not Chris!!" You said, a little too loud, you wouldn't be surprised if his brothers heard you.

"That's right baby, me, only me!" His thrusts getting sloppy, which means he's close

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your mouth open with your tongue out, Matt enjoyed your fucked-out expression.

"C-nghhh cumming!" You moaned out loudly

"Go on, cream on my cock," and you did, your warm juices gushing out of you and into his cock and on the ruined bed sheets.

"Fuck! That's right baby, good girl, gonna cum deep into you"

You panted like a dog in heat, nodding your head.

"Gonna give you my baby, you will take my cum like a good little whore, right?"

"Y-yess matt please!" You whimpered, too sensitive and fucked out to think of the consequences

"F-fuck I'm cumming baby" Matt groaned, thrusting into you five more times before filling you up, with his warm cum.

You moaned out from the feeling, never felt this, it made you tingly.

He stayed inside a few minutes, before pulling out slowly, you and him both, whimpered when he did it.

"Are you okay babe?" Matt asked you, standing up going to the bathroom to take a wet wash cloth, cleaning himself and then coming to clean you up.

Your hips jerked when he started cleaning you

"Sensitive baby?" He teased you

"Mhm" you nodded, not being able to say something.

After he was done cleaning you, he dressed you with new pair of panties and some shorts of his

After you were done, he dressed himself too, still shirtless.

"Wanna sleep" you whispered

"Okay baby, we will." He chuckled slightly

༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻

GUYS, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, SORRY IF ITS BAD, ALSO SORRY IF ITS TOO DISGUSTING LOL. 🤍❕

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #female reader #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x fem reader #matt sturniolo smut

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boydepartment · 7 months

Text

three strikes - nishimura riki x fem! reader

a/n: HIIIIII this was a request from my 🧈 anon :3 i hope you love it my dear

warnings- jealousy! nothing insane tho, mostly fluff 😋 i added a small inside joke that riki would call ricky from zb1 “discount ricky” all jokes tho (pls don’t kill me)

wc- honestly over 750

MASTERLIST

“here.” you looked over to riki setting your drink down on the table, you looked up at him and smiled as he sat down across from you at the cafe table.

“did you-“

“ask for extra peppermint? yes. even though it’s gross..” riki mumbled, you giggled and sipped your hot coco. it was freezing cold at least to you and so the coco helped a lot.

“when is your project partner arriving?” riki mumbled, sipping his coffee.

you shrugged, “any minute.” setting your coco down riki watched you, he wasn’t necessarily happy over this whole project partner thing. riki knew your project partner, and safe to say he was just irritated by his presence. he didn’t know why, but he was just irked.

so when the OTHER ricky walked in, he just waved and watched as the other boy sat next to you.

“hey y/n!” he smiled, you grinned back at him.

“hey! it’s cold outside are you sure you’re bundled up enough?” you asked, grabbing your books. riki just decided to go on his phone to pass time.

“yeah! it’s crazy how quickly the weather changed huh? are you warm enough?”

you and ricky made small talk which didn’t bother your best friend. that was until one sentence.

“your hands are freezing y/n!”

riki’s eyes shot up to see the discount ricky’s hands on yours. if stares could kill a man, discount ricky would be six feet under.

“oh! yeah that’s why riki, well, my riki got me hot coco.” you let go of his hand and turned to your hot beverage.

nishimura riki would be lying if he said some pride didn’t bubble up inside him, which didn’t go unnoticed by the boy sitting next to you.

riki didn’t take notice and he went back on his phone, he just wanted your project to be over so he could walk back to the car with you and just be away from people. by people he meant discount ricky. this was strike one for his patience.

“i think we should work more on the details of the piece of art itself. like things that normal people look past in monet’s art. there’s a story everywhere.” you suggested, this art project was pretty big for your grade. and you were just relieved that your project partner agreed to do monet.

“that’s such a good idea y/n.” ricky smiled.

oh please riki thought to himself, at that point discount ricky should just get on his hands and knees and beg for your attention. that’d be way less embarrassing than kissing your ass at every little- wait what the hell

to riki’s horror, discount ricky, was readjusting your beanie so your hair didn’t get in your face. this pissed him off, strike two of his patience gone. riki was the one who spent HOURS trying to crochet you that beanie last year and now he’s going to have to make you another one because discount ricky’s grimy hands touched it! riki felt his eye twitch, he ended up making eye contact with the boy next to you. a smirk ghosting his features.

riki wanted to kick his shin under the table or maybe throw his hot coffee-

“i think we should also choose one of monet’s less known works aswe- oh ouch…” you mumbled rubbing your hands, whenever you wrote or sketched too long your hands would hurt. riki always took notice of this so he looked up proper hand massages- safe to say he could be certified- WHAT THE SHIT?

discount ricky grabbed your hands and started massaging them.

strike three

“can you get your hands off her?!” riki finally snapped, “god at this point it’s revolting! i’m right in front of both of you!”

your eyes widened as you watched you best friend actually lose his temper, yeah you’d seen him bicker but this was different.

“what are you two dating?” ricky asked, if you were in a tv show you’d see the angry lightening bolt hit both of them. this was not good, you quickly packed your bags and grabbed your best friend. apologizing to your project partner.

“what’s his fucking problem?!” riki stomped through the fresh snow to your car.

“what’s his problem?! what’s your problem? what the hell was that?! are you okay?!” you had a million questions. and they were flying out.

“i- what- how is this my fault!? he had his grimy discount ricky hands all over you! only i’m allowed to do that as your best friend!”

it was really hard to take him seriously as you finally got to the car laughing. you leaned against the hood trying to catch your breath.

“y/n this isn’t funny!” he stood right next to you.

you finally caught your breath, “i’m sorry where did the nickname discount ricky come from?”

“well obviously i’m the better one way more deserving of, um hello, touching your hair, massaging your hands because im youtube certified, AND THE COLD HANDS THING?! he was flirting with you shamelessly in front of me!” riki swung his arms around like a crazy person trying to explain that the end was near.

your hat fell slightly as you laughed again which riki fixed gently before speaking again, “then he’d smirk at me like he knew he was getting on my nerves! like that discount version of ME KNEW HE WAS MAKING ME ANGRY!”

“should i take my hat off and give you sanitizer? since you touched my discount ricky infected beanie?” you asked, unlocking the car and throwing your backpack in the back. you turned around and bumped into riki.

“actually yeah take off that hat. i will sanitize it and crochet you a new one.” riki grabbed the hat off your head and gave you his own beanie.

“should i sanitize my hands too?” you asked giggling, going to open your door but slipping on black ice.

riki immediately caught you, “um guess who couldn’t catch you- discount ricky. i’m clearly better for you so.”

you started laughing again, hitting his chest playfully, “you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend.”

“is that a bad thing?” riki asked quickly, suddenly unsure of himself.

you shook your head no, “it’s cute.”

riki smiled down at you; it was obvious he was at least a little smug.

“you know what he didn’t contaminate?” you asked, still giggling, your eyes flickered from riki’s eyes to his lips. immediately he got the hint and took his chance.

discount ricky is out and nishimura riki hit a home run

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hannieehaee · 6 months

Text

18 + / mdi

content: idol!mingyu x idol!reader, established relationship, jealousy, possessiveness, afab reader, smut, semi-public sex, penetrative sex, creampie, etc.

part 1

wc: 2410

a/n: ppl rlly liked my first gyu x idol!reader fic so i decided to make a pt. 2! im working on a long fic for idol!gyu x idol!reader rn (its a diff universe from this one tho hehe) which should be out this month <3

masterlist

it's been a bit hard.

dating an idol as an idol would really seem like the ideal situation, except when it wasn't.

yeah, you had been absolutely ecstatic upon finding out mingyu had been carrying a torch for you for years. you had felt the same, only ever entertaining your other friends' flirting out of mere desperation for the man to finally notice you. after he suddenly blew up, declaring his love for you, you thought it'd just be smooth sailing from here, except you hadn't really thought much past that.

maybe you were being unreasonable. i mean, you had never dated a fellow idol before! maybe it was all in your head. or maybe you just weren't too used to the dynamic just yet. you weren't too sure. but you had no idea how much longer you could take watching mingyu flirt his way through life anymore.

fans, staff, other idols, male or female, you name it. mingyu simply had an overly flirtatious demeanor towards absolutely everyone. you, personally, always kept a very clear line in fan service, or any other type of flirtatious scenarios (sans your previous attempts to make mingyu jealous). mingyu did not afford you the same courtesy, consistently following requests to call fans his girlfriends and even going as far as initiating the flirting in both fancalls and physical fan meetings. okay, maybe this was something you could put up with. these interactions were very short lived, so they never went too out of hand, but these were not his only offenses.

you looked past the flirting with idols, chalking it up to being played up for the cameras for entertainment purposes. you looked away whenever it went far enough to have fans speculating online. you knew idols were professionals at delivering fan service, always wanting to give people something to talk about. hell, you did it too! this was a bit annoying to watch, but you trusted your boyfriend and your idol colleagues, so you let it slide. it was other things that were harder to look past.

was there any need for him to flirt up a storm among all the female staff members? he was behind the scenes, for fucks sake! there were no cameras nor any benefit from entertaining their giggles and subtle touches of his muscles as they pretended to be interested in what he was saying. you knew your boyfriend probably didn't realize that he was flirting, having simply grown too used to doing it that it was second nature to him by now, but it was still frustrating! specially when no one knew that mingyu was taken. as far as any of his staff members knew, mingyu was still just your best friend, and any sighting of the two of you together (always accompanied by another member of the 97s or a fellow group mate of his to avoid suspicion) was always assumed to be strictly platonic. even now, as you walked into his dressing room, only to find his stylist - and a few of the members' stylists - flocking around him as he told some stupid joke that probably wasn't even funny.

it was sickening, really. the way none of them saw how desperate they came off. how none of them realized that if they all flirted with him at once, it truly had no effect, as he wouldn't pay special attention to any of them in particular. you felt like a hater, but being real, you were starting to become one. you watched him for a good five minutes, wondering if he'd ever notice your presence from across the room. when he did, he immediately went over to you, cutting off any of the girls who had been flirting with him in favor of welcoming you. he was amicable, giving you a simple hug. but his eyes told a different story. anyone who knew mingyu knew those eyes were reserved for his loved ones. that made you calm down a bit, even hugging him back and daring a short peck on the cheek.

today was yet another shoot at the hybe building. you had the fortune of belonging to the same company as your boyfriend, which meant you could stop by whenever you wanted (as long as you kept a low profile). you'd often drag jungkook along with you for appearances' sake, but had decided to go solo today. gyu was clearly happy to see you, interrupting his stylists to take a quick breather with you, heading over to one of the empty changing rooms and finally indulging you with less platonic affection.

"baby! wasn't expecting you today?", despite that, he was clearly enthusiastic to see you, attached to you like a magnet now that he had locked the door behind you, making sure no one was around to see his affections towards you.

"yeah, clearly ..." you couldn't help but grumble, disconnecting yourself from him.

mingyu didnt give you much of a chance to create distance between you, immediately holding onto you again, this time by wrapping his arms around your waist, yours instinctively leaning against his hard chest.

"baby, what's wrong? what do you mean?", a pout made its way to his face. of course he was unsuspecting. the mingyu you knew was far too into you to ever seriously hit on someone else when he had you.

you responded with a sigh, "mingyu, do you have to flirt with every girl you meet?"

"w-what? what are you talking about?"

"did you seriously not notice all those girls giggling at every word you said? they all want you, gyu. and you never put a stop to it."

"i dont .. the stylists? baby, ive never flirted with anyone in our staff, what? i work with them, of course i'm nice, but its always strictly platonic, you know that."

"the fact that you dont even realize it!", you separated yourself from him again, facing away and crossing your arms across your chest like a petulant child.

"baby ..."

"no, gyu. i'm not in the mood. i came to see you, but again, you're hitting on some other girl."

he wrapped his arms around you for the third time now, pulling your back to his chest as he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck. he was trying to break you down before you even managed to get fully angry at him

"princess, i'm sorry. i swear i didnt realize i was doing it. i- im just too friendly, i guess. why would i wanna flirt with anyone when i have you right here, hmm?", the kisses he began leaving along your neck did not help matters. he knew your weak points.

"forgive me, baby? please? don't want any of them. i'll tell them. i'll tell everyone, okay?"

"gyu ..." you whined, but still angled your neck for hin to keep kissing, leaning against his hold.

"yeah, pretty? i'll tell the whole world. it's just you for me," he paused, letting out a quiet chuckle as he shook his head, "it's kinda funny, though. now you know how i felt any time the boys would flirt with you."

"gyu! how is it my fault they liked me? and i only flirted with jungkook one time before we were ever together."

"and? still hated seeing you with anyone else. you're mine. you've always been."

he turned you around then, holding you close to him as he looked into your eyes. he smiled at you, kissing your nose before chuckling at your whines of annoyance at him. even when you wanted to be mad at him you couldnt. he'd always turn the situation around and swoon you somehow.

"let me show you, baby? show you that you're mine? maybe we can show those mean mean stylists too, huh?", okay, he was just teasing you now, lips drawn way too close to yours as he ran his hands up and down your back.

"gyu ..." you whined, making no effort to actually pull away.

"you'll let me. won't you, baby?" his eyes were glued to your lips, in a similar fashion to your own. you knew he could tell how badly you wanted him to close the gap, but you refused to make the first move. then he'd win. he'd be the voice of reason, which was something you just couldn't have.

"c'mon baby, just kiss me. you know you wanna. dont you wanna show them ill all yours? maybe leave your lipstick print all over my face for them to clean up? give me a hickey to- hmph!"

you had to shut him up eventually. he was driving you crazy. but he was also right. knowing you could make a statement about your relationship without actually having to explicitly say anything about it sounded too good to pass up, so you might've gone a little extra nastier with your kissing, running your lips all over his mouth, letting your tongue do all the work for you. mingyu had no complaints, even turning pliant under your touch.

huh.

he wanted you to be jealous, didnt he? he mightve not flirted on purpose, but now that he knew you were jealous he mustve felt some type of ... pride? at knowing how badly you wanted him to be yours and yours only. well. in that case, you were gonna give it to him.

you're not sure how it happened, but you ended up sitting on him, both your shirts thrown off as you ground on his lap as he sat back on the couch. the lower part of his face, along with part of his neck, were covered in lipstick stains, matching the smudged red along your own lips. you had left a few hickeys (okay, maybe five) on his chest area, not wanting to make the stylists work too difficult. the are with most damage, however, had been his hair, as you had messed it up in all directions possible through your incessant pulling. his hairstylists might have had complaints, but mingyu sure didnt have any. he kept moaning and sighing against your lips, hands guiding your hips from the moment you sat down on him.

"baby ... give me more ... please," you didnt blame him for growing frustrated at the lack of action. you yourself felt like you were at the precipice of pleasure, just needing to sit on him to find the way to your climax.

you helped him lower his pants enough to free his cock, playing with it for a bit before allowing it to slip under your skirt, panties shoved to the side in favor of creating a safe passage for his dick. you couldnt help the loud whine of pleasure you let out at the intrusion, feeling accompanied by mingyu and his own groan.

"gyu! shit ... feel so good- so big ..."

"i know, baby ... so pretty n so tight for me ... how could i ever want anyone else when i have my pretty girl so perfect for me. hole so wet and needy ..."

you cried at his words, speeding up as you angled yourself back to allow your clit to grace against him, making your eyes roll back even more.

"that's it, pretty. gonna cum for me? gonna let me fill you up, beautiful? that'll- fuck ... that'll show them who i belong to, huh? all yours, baby. just like y- you're all mine."

"yours! gyu, fuck! y- yours!"

"and im yours, baby. dont forget."

he kept poisoning at you from below, dragging your hips so you'd bounce up and down at a pace that had your toes curling. he always knew how to fuck you in ways that had your mind going completely blank, like right now. neither of you paid mind to the dressing room next door that was full of staff who could likely hear your muffles whines against each other's lips. you relished on it, even, knowing that once you walked back in the room they'd know who mingyu really belonged to.

"cum, baby. need you to cum so i c- shit ... so i can fill you up."

"almost there, gyu, just ... fuck! just like that! i'm cumming! gyu!"

"yeah, shit. gonna fill you up now, okay, baby? want you to keep it all in. show them im yours, yeah?", his hips never slowed down despite being you being on top. you were now just a rag doll he was using for his own pleasure. nothing had ever felt this good.

he filled you up soon after, with most of it spilling out due to the massive size of his load. he used his fingers to push it back in, then lifting them to your lips for you to lick clean, which you did with no complaint.

"oh, baby ... my nasty girl. how could i ever look at anyone else when i have my nasty baby so desperate for me? hmm? you're perfect for me, angel. dont care about any girl that flirts with me. you're all i want," he used his fingers to push down on your tongue as he said this, groaning at the way you sucked and sucked while looking at him with wide eyes.

"gyu ..." you whined as soon as he left your mouth alone.

"but im still sorry, angel. i didnt realize it bothered you. i get it. kinda wanna fight any of ur male fans when they get a little too friendly with you. that rookie at mnet last month? wanted to take him out back for the way he was looking at you when you performed."

"gyu!," you knew your boyfriend had been jealous of your friend group due to their former crushes on you, but he'd never told you that he felt the same way about literally any man you'd come across as an idol.

"what? im just saying, i get it! im also possessive and jealous. thats why we compliment each other. now come on. lets get you dressed, baby. gotta go have a very awkward conversation with my stylist so she can fix everything you just did to me."

"me?! look at me! im covered in cum!"

"hmm yeah. so pretty, angel. you better have it all in you by the time we get home, yeah?"

you huffed, but agreed, rolling your eyes at the innocent peck that landed on your cheek as he helped you look presentable.

you knew things would be awkward around his staff from now on, but it had been worth it.

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen #svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen smut #svt smut #mingyu imagine #mingyu scenarios #mingyu smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu oneshot #mingyu fanfic

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beescake · 5 months

Note

i am in love with your sollux i think

sollux love party :]

if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him.. big warning for the mega long read ahead aye

as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall

as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.

his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.

while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.

his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.

the Bit in question:

his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.

considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.

but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.

but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.

compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.

the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍‍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)

conceptually-speaking,

at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise

thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.

but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures

meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.

those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:

zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)

far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.

which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.

dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3

#ask #anon #sollux captor #homestuck #hs2 spoilers #2023 #vioart #hs2 sollux explaining girls and bitches to john: 🗣️🗣️🗣️#mr foods‚ setting up the visuals: LMAO ok pause. cool story bro theyre all gone its just u n ur sandwich bro.#now that i think abt it sol's kind of a toaster? awkwardly takes up countertop space #lacks the versatility and sociability of an air fryer/pressure cooker. unwashed and littered w crumbs!#but sometimes the clear‚ frank simplicity of the toaster is a temporary lifesaver for ppl who struggle w low appetite / decision fatigue #or ppl who just have a habit of eating toast for breakfast LOL #and eh ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ even if u dont feel like toasting today thats ok he's still gonna be sitting there 👍👍#a funnyman..... i curse him in my pan but root for him in my biscuit 🫶

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nereidprinc3ss · 20 days

Text

do you believe me now? | 5

in which spencer reid and fem!reader are reunited, but the worst kind of sparks are flying. you meet a man named randall. derek morgan buys you a drink (sort of). it seems that some things can't be unsaid.

series masterlist

this series is 18+ warnings/tags: r goes to a bar but doesn't drink alcohol, gets hit on by weird men, dramatic, angst, sorry in advance a/n: surprise! i'll see myself out. love you! lmk your thoughts on this bad boy! i KNOW you'll have some! i'm locking all my doors and the cops are on speed dial after posting this. stay tuned for part six tho

You don’t call Spencer for four days.

Spencer doesn’t call you for four days.

It’s scary.

There’s some texting—mostly him giving you updates on how things are going and when he expects to be back. Mostly you giving the messages a thumbs up and saying nothing else.

Finally, on Thursday afternoon, his ringtone (the Bill Nye theme) makes you jump as you’re sitting on your bed staring into space.

His caller ID photo—which is simply his passport photo, because you’d thought it was adorable—stares at you. You stare back. Contemplate not picking up.

But you’re not quite there yet.

And you cannot keep listening to Bill Nye the Science Guy.

The answer button is cold under your thumb, but not as cold as your greeting.

“Hi.”

You barely recognize your own voice.

It seems to send Spencer for a loop as well, because his reply is halting.

“Hey! Hi, um—how are you? I feel like we’ve barely talked this week.”

That would be because you told me my feelings for you are stronger than your feelings for me and I don’t know how to stop making every single word I say secretly mean I love you. We can’t have a conversation without me loving you. It will always be in the room or on the phone with us. To ignore the presence of it is impossible, and I don’t know if I can ignore the absence of yours, either.

“Uh… yeah. I’m fine. What’s up?”

There’s a pause.

“We wrapped up this morning. We’re getting on the jet here in a few minutes, and, um—I know it’s not ideal, but we missed Derek’s birthday and Penelope is insisting we all go to his favorite bar tonight. And he told me that for his birthday he wants to meet you. So… would you be up for that?”

“You want… to take me to a bar?”

“No. I mean—I know it’s not really your thing, but we missed Derek’s birthday three years in a row, and—and I understand if you don’t want to meet him tonight, but we wouldn’t have to stay very long and I really, really shouldn’t skip it. Derek has saved my life on more than one occasion.”

“You could go without me.”

More silence. Every second hurts, but you don’t understand why he wants you to come meet his best friend if he thinks the two of you are in different places emotionally.

But maybe he’s not going to break up with you just yet. Maybe he’s going to keep inviting you to bars and foreign film festivals and bookshops. Maybe he’s going to treat you exactly the same as he always has but with this new added layer of knowledge that the way he treats you isn’t actually love, and it never was, and you’re not sure if it has the potential to ever become love. Because if it did—wouldn’t it have already? What more do you have to offer than what you’ve already given him?

Breakup or no breakup, you feel sick.

When he speaks his tone is similarly chilly. It’s welcome. You want him mad. If he can’t reciprocate your adoration, then the very least he can do is have the decency to reciprocate your reproach.

“I could. Is that what you want?”

No. I don’t want any of this. I need you to know me well enough to know that. And if you can’t love me then at least get angry. At least show me you feel something other than passive contentment.

“Yeah. Sure. I don’t know.”

A pause stretches so long your heart pounds. You watch the elapsed time of the call tick by, second by second, and you wait for the anticipation to crack under the weight of silence, to give way to some terrible jump scare or to give way at all.

But the words that end the conversation (if you can even call it that) aren’t any great relief. They’re just sad, and chalk full of defeat.

“Alright. I’ll… I’ll call you later.”

You feel like you’ve swallowed an ice cube. All the words you’d like to say are frozen in your stinging throat.

“Okay. Um… I’ll let you board now.”

“The jet’s not…” but he trails off. When he speaks again he sounds just as hurt as you’d wanted—and it doesn’t make you feel better at all. “Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The line goes dead, and your face is burning as tears fill your eyes for the hundredth time this week. That call was terrible and poisonous and you don’t feel like yourself.

Things have gone so wrong so quickly, and all you know how to do is ice him out so he can’t do it to you first. But it’s not going to make this better. No matter how mean you are to him, at the root of it all you feel unloved and scared and alone and Spencer knows things about love and relationships that you don’t. He’s confusing you with all this talk of feeling differently about each other and I’ll be home tomorrow I miss you and things get complicated when one person likes the other more and let’s talk in person and will you come meet my best friend tonight. All of it leaves you motion sick and ugly crying in the fetal position.

All you have to get through this is who you’ve always been, a little of the person you’ve become, and the love you harbor for Spencer which rattles around in your chest like a nail in an empty toolbox. At the moment it hardly seems helpful. It mocks you, pointing out the pathetic hilarity of your paradox. The only person who can comfort you, the person you want more than anything, is the reason you’re so upset in the first place. But you can’t help being drawn to him.

Maybe the love you have for Spencer is more like a magnet in a compass.

Even if he doesn’t feel it for you, you do love Spencer. And that goes beyond just loving the parts of him that like you. To hide from that love would be a gross disservice to yourself and all the work you’ve done to get here. It’s not as if you suddenly know exactly what the answer is—but you’re sure that hiding is the most childish, cowardly thing you could do and the furthest you could get from a resolution. Even if you can’t make him love you back, you refuse to allow yourself to fizzle quietly out of his life. This relationship deserves something more than that.

So maybe you don’t have a plan when you wipe your eyes and pick up your phone. Maybe there’s no strategy behind your actions as you text Garcia for the bar location. But if you keep running from everything you’ll never get anywhere. All you can do is show up. It seems like the next best step.

------

The pub isn’t too crowded—but for a Thursday night, you suppose it’s a bit busy.

Boot heels hooked onto the metal foot-beam of the stool you’re sitting on, elbows resting on the polished mahogany surface of the bar, you’re staring into an untouched mixed drink. Then you glance down the bar to your right, at the man who’d bought it for you.

Maybe your ensemble gave him the wrong idea.

Coming to this gathering had required bravery, and you came armored. Your ensemble projects significantly more confidence than you’re currently feeling. It was intentional, a form of self-protection—but now you’re wondering if it’s projecting a little too much confidence.

All done up, clearly still a little rough around the edges, and sitting alone at a bar was bound to draw the wrong pairs of eyes.

“Hey, darlin’,” the gruff man says, approaching when you inadvertently catch his gaze. “Are you gonna drink that, or should I? Otherwise I’m lookin’ at eleven dollars right down the drain.”

You avert your eyes, scanning the groups dotted here and there.

“I’m waiting for friends.”

“Does that make a free drink less appealing?”

He takes the stool next to you, off-gassing the scent of cigarettes and leather.

“I’m not drinking.”

“Really? I’ve never seen a girl who looks as sad as you do come sit at the bar to stay sober.”

You frown, looking back up at the man next to you. He seems like the Hell’s Angels type—tattooed knuckles, leather jacket, grey beard, and a weathered face that’s clearly spent decades with the sun. Fifties, maybe younger and just looks more rugged. What does it say about how I look tonight that this is the kind of man I’m attracting, you wonder. Maybe you look desperate and just as lonely as you feel. As he claims you do.

“I’m not sad.”

“Alright. I’ll take your word for it. But a happier girl wouldn’t be all alone.”

“I’m waiting for friends,” you repeat, letting the words drip like venom from your tongue.

“I’m Randall. See? Now we're friends.”

“I don’t need more friends. I like the ones I have.”

Something catches Randall’s attention long enough to catch yours. He raises his bottle vaguely, gesturing beyond your shoulder.

“Are those angry lookin’ guys in the suits marching right over here the friends you’re talking about?”

You turn your head, brows furrowed, and immediately see the gentlemen to whom your new pal is pointing out.

Spencer is storming across the bar looking close to furious (which for him, means an expression so placid it gives you chills) followed by Derek Morgan—a man who you’ve only seen pictures of and is even more impressive in person.

You hate how your breath catches, how your heart is already beating a little faster than usual at the sight of him even though you’re not exactly pleased with each other right now.

Suddenly the bubbles in your cocktail are once again fascinating.

“Those are the ones.”

“And why are they dressed for church?”

Church?

“They’re FBI.”

“Ah. My lucky fuckin’ day.”

You almost snort.

“Hey,” Spencer says sternly, hand settling on your back as he partially fills the small space between you and the strange man. “Who’s this?”

You shrug, sit up a little straighter, and take a shallow breath—not because you’re scared of this man but because Spencer is suddenly so close to you and you can feel his warmth and the air bending around him and the scent of him is genuinely dizzying to you.

“Randall,” you exhale unenthusiastically. But the odd thing is that you’re rather grateful for Randall’s presence. Because now Spencer is here and you have no idea what you’re going to say to him.

“Oh,” Randall says, sipping his beer unhurriedly before using it to gesture to Spencer. “You’re the boyfriend. You know, that’s funny, because she didn’t mention a boyfriend.”

“I didn’t mention anything. We weren’t having a real conversation.”

Randy holds his hands up defensively, fingers still wrapped around the neck of a sweating bottle.

“I’m just saying it’s in-ter-esting. Not trying to start anything.” He stands, pauses for another sip—Spencer obviously isn’t sure what to make of this man because he says nothing. “But listen, man to man—you better buy her some flowers or a real pretty fuckin’ necklace or somethin’ because a happy girl in a happy relationship does not come pout at the bar all by herself.”

“Get out of here, man,” Derek finally speaks up.

“Yeah, yeah.” He sets his empty bottle down and fishes in his pocket for a cigarette, sticking it between his lips. “But—just for the record—I have a wife. I wasn’t gonna do anything weird. Sometimes when you’re my age you just gotta live a little. Buy a pretty girl a drink. Piss off some Mormons, or whatever the fuck you are.”

This guy sounds like a bad Bruce Springsteen song. But part of you would almost rather hang out with Randall than be forced into a conversation you’re not prepared for with Spencer.

And whose fault is that, you remind yourself. You decided to come be mature. Suck it up.

“Goodnight,” Derek emphasizes.

Spencer doesn’t say a word. You can feel his eyes boring smoking holes into the side of your face, and you look anywhere else.

“I’ll be here next week after physical therapy like clockwork,” the stranger waves as he ambles away—but not before pointing at you. “You enjoy that drink, friend. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

What a weird man.

There’s silence for a moment—in which Spencer refuses to stop watching you and you refuse to acknowledge that.

“And here I was thinking Spencer made you up.” Derek has a beautiful smile and a warm, charming cadence as he holds out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Derek.”

You take the proffered hand and shake, offering him a shy smile and introducing yourself in kind.

“Happy birthday, by the way. Sorry for crashing your party.”

Really, he’s stunning.

“Thank you, sweetheart. And you’re not crashing anything. I told pretty boy here I wanted to meet you the second he started talking about a friend. But nah, he just wanted to talk and talk and talk about you—”

“Alright,” Spencer mumbles, blushing, eyes finally torn from your profile. You smile slightly, brows knitting as Derek magically melts some of the terrible tension.

“Pretty boy?”

Before either of them can explain, someone shrieks in your general direction. You startle backward in your seat, and Spencer steps closer, hand sliding up your back as Penelope, JJ, and Emily join your little huddle. For only a second you allow yourself to shrink into him—before you’re straightening your posture like your spine is a metal rod and his touch burns. It’s a knee-jerk defensive reaction for which you have no explanation. You can’t see him, but you don’t feel his hand on you again.

“Oh my god! Look at this beautiful person who I love!” Penelope exclaims, pushing past Derek to grab your face and kiss both of your cheeks. “Oh my god,” she says again, wiping sticky lipgloss away with her thumbs, “I totally meant to ask before I did that. But your face is just so kissable. I’m so glad you decided to come!”

“Hi, Penelope,” you smile half-heartedly, incapable of reciprocating her cheery mood. Fortunately, she’s cheery enough for a standard commercial flight’s worth of people, and probably thinks of Derek’s birthday as a national holiday—so she doesn’t pick up on this.

Emily and JJ offer you tamer although perfectly kind greetings.

“Ooh, what are you drinking?” Emily asks, leaning closer to examine the forgotten beverage in front of you.

“Not that,” Spencer mutters, grabbing the glass and sliding it away from you. You give him an affronted look—and immediately wish you hadn’t, since you’re meeting his eyes for the first time since he left. His words stall for just a moment as his eyes dart between yours before he’s saying, “you shouldn’t accept a drink if you didn’t watch someone make it.”

The audacity of him to be acting protective makes you scoff.

“That guy didn’t spike my drink. He was harmless.”

“People thought Ted Bundy was harmless, too.”

It’s such a ridiculous thing to say that you don’t even have a response—your eyes simply narrow and you shake your head. A claustrophobic silence falls over the small group.

“Okay…” JJ murmurs. “Um, do you guys want to go check out the jukebox with me? We have to play all of the birthday boy’s favorites.”

Several enthusiastic yeses go around, but you’re too busy having a stand off with your boyfriend to take much notice.

Soon, it’s just the two of you.

“Controlling isn’t a good look for you,” you finally say, spinning to rest your elbows on the bar once more and studying the bottles of liquor on the shelves beyond.

“Evasive and avoidant isn’t particularly flattering, either. I was under the impression that you had no intention of coming after that phone call earlier.”

You scoff again as your blood heats. Already the conversation is going worse than you’d expected—and your expectations were not high.

“Do you think the cab driver was a serial killer, too? Or maybe the bartender?”

He’s still behind you and slightly to the side—but he leans down, resting his own fists on the bar right next to you and speaking lowly, directly over your shoulder.

“Why don’t you try speaking to me like we’re adults instead of starting meaningless arguments in order to get under my skin?”

From him, that hurts.

It’s a branch on the tree of your greatest insecurity—the fear that you’re too inexperienced with relationships and that makes you too immature and he’s been lying every time he says it’s not an issue. Because of course it’s an issue. It’s why you fell in love with him, it’s why you don’t know how to fix it, and it’s why you’re incapable of actually expressing any of your feelings to him.

“Why do you think I’m here right now?” you whisper—as sharp and stinging as a poison dart. “I’m trying to be a fucking adult. I don’t want to be here.”

Silence.

“Then why did you come?”

His voice is so calm it burns like dry ice.

“Because! Because you asked me to, because—”

You can’t bring yourself to say it aloud.

Because I’m obviously still in love with you and I can’t just turn that off. I tried to do the right thing.

Instead you bury your face in your hands and let it hang in the air, unspoken. You know he knows. You just don’t know why he’s acting like you’re so unreasonable for being upset.

“Let me make this very clear to you,” Spencer murmurs, brushing your hair away from your ear so tenderly, speaking so softly you could convince yourself that he’ll say something kind. It’s the closest he’s been in days and now that he’s here you feel how much you missed him in your bones. And even though you sense a trap, you can’t help but sit up straighter. You’ll be complicit in your own undoing if it means you can have him close. His breath shakes slightly as he inhales and you brace as best you can. “Nobody is forcing you to be here. You told me you weren’t coming and then you decided to show up. I was ready to give you the space that you were too scared to ask me for. But I can only take responsibility for so much of what is ultimately your bad behavior and your adolescent volatility. You can only blame so much of your bad behavior on inexperience before I run out of patience because I don’t find thoughtlessness and emotional immaturity compelling. I told you that if there is a disparity in the way we feel for each other, that was fine, and I meant it. But if you can’t cope with how I feel about you then don’t let me hold you back. I am not holding you hostage. You can leave whenever you want. So don’t waste your time punishing me because you don’t want to be here. And if you do want to be here, good. I want that too. But act like an adult and make a decision. My leniency has limits, even for you. I am asking that you do not push it any further than you already have.”

You don’t know how long it’s been since your last breath by the time he finishes his address.

Long enough that you’re dizzy when you push away from the bar and shoulder through the throng of patrons as quickly as you reasonably can without outright running.

Long enough that when you burst out the door into the biting-cold night air, and finally take a deep, gasping breath, it burns and stings and aches and so does your head and your eyes as they well with hot, furious, heartbroken tears.

You speed-walk to the end of the block, hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your cries and all the curse words you’d love to scream.

Part of you knows you walked away from the bar in case he decided to try and follow you—but when you look over your shoulder the sidewalk is empty. You should’ve known better than to think he’d follow you after that. But at least it means you can have your breakdown by the relative safety of the bar, leaning your back against the dirty brick facade next to the entrance alcove and sliding down until your butt hits the cold concrete and you don’t even care.

Who the fuck was that man in the bar who looked like Spencer and sounded like Spencer but spoke to you like this is all your fault, like it’s your fault you love him and he doesn’t love you back, like it’s ridiculous that you’d be upset, like you’re cruel and petty for having feelings about it, about him—for having any fucking feelings at all? And to think that was the man who you let know you more intimately than anyone ever has. Every insecurity you’d ever admitted to him was hurled back in your face like it was nothing. Hell—he even handed you the ones you’d never mentioned. He proved every terrible thought you’ve been having about yourself right.

How could he be so unabashedly mean to you?

Spencer doesn’t have to love you. It seems clearer now than ever that he doesn’t. But part of you wonders if he suffered some sort of traumatic brain injury because that’s the only explanation for why he could go from treating you how he did before to treating you like he doesn’t even like you.

You feel like you might throw up.

“Called it,” a rasping, grumbling voice says from a few feet away.

You look up, and spot fucking Randall standing under a street light ten feet away, still smoking.

You go back to studying the tar spots on the sidewalk through bleary eyes. Pebbles sting as they press into your palms. Another one of the universe’s terrible jokes, you suppose. Just earlier you’d thought that you’d rather talk to Randall than Spencer and now here you are and here he is.

“That kid as much of a dipshit punk as I thought he was?”

Hearing Spencer described as a kid and a dipshit punk is so jarring you almost stop crying.

“He’s not a dipshit,” you sniff, voice thick with tears as you find yourself explaining Spencer Reid to this stranger for no reason at all. “He has an IQ of 187. He’s a genius.”

“Ah,” he scoffs dismissively, flicking ash from his cigarette. “Dipshit-ism don’t discriminate. Anyone can be one. Even your genius punk boyfriend. As a recovering dipshit myself I know what the work of a fellow dipshit looks like. And this has dipshit written all over it.”

You sob harder.

Randall speaks calmly around his cigarette.

“You know, I’m sorry for whatever you got goin’ on. But I’ve never not been the asshole when I got a hysterical woman in front of me. It’s nice that I can confidently say this time it is not my fault.”

The bar door opens, letting a warm burst of jovial music and chatter into the otherwise still night. Steps that are too heavy to be Spencer’s hit the concrete next to you—you look to your left and see Derek Morgan before he looks down and sees you.

“Hey—you okay out here?”

“Why don’t you go ask your Jehovah’s Witness buddy? He did this.”

Derek makes a face, locating the source of this interjection.

“Sir, I asked you to leave her alone once and I don’t appreciate being made to repeat myself. Are we clear?”

“Yeah, whatever. Fuck me for making friendly conversation, I guess. Gonna have to call my wife and tell her to pick me up down the street. I don’t want her on the damn phone while she’s driving.”

Randall wanders away again, still muttering to himself and smoking. Derek watches him go, staring daggers into his back until he turns his gaze to you.

Goodbye, Randall, you think. Great. Now I have neither of them.

“Hey,” he softens, crouching down to your level. “You okay?”

You sniff, wiping your cheeks and attempting not to smudge your makeup. It’s impossible not to feel awkward—you just met this guy and now he’s here trying to do emotional labor for you on his birthday.

“Yeah, I’m fine. This is embarrassing.”

“You don’t look fine. Can I do anything for you? Do you want some food? A drink?”

“You really don’t have to—”

“I know, I know. But look—Reid is always talking about you. You’re important to him, and he’s important to me. I’ve never seen him this happy and I’ve known that kid a long time. It is in my best interest that someone maintain you, and if it’s not him, it’ll be me. Call it a favor to him, if that makes you feel better.” Derek is sporting a slightly more modest Cheshire grin again by the end of his sentence. Listening to him speak that way about Spencer speaking about you, it’s impossible not to feel a teeny bit lighter. Even if you’re not entirely sure where you stand on all things Spencer related at the moment. “So I’ll ask you again. Is there anything I can do for you?”

You sniff again.

“Sure. A ginger ale or something might be good.”

“Got it. I’ll be back. And come inside if Randall tries to run up on you again, okay?”

Despite yourself you manage a laugh at the way he says the name. His warm smile flickers warmer at this.

“Will do.”

When Derek returns a few minutes later, the plastic cup he’s holding looks decidedly not like ginger ale.

“Penelope insisted that this is what you would want. I don’t even know.”

You smile slightly as you take the cup, full to the brim with bubbles and thick red syrup. A cherry bobs underneath the layer of cubed ice.

“Shirley temple,” you chuckle. “I’ll take it. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” he says, flashing that brilliant smile again, and you look into your cup as you drink. Maybe your face warms just a bit. You’re still shy around men, you realize. Especially attractive ones. And Derek Morgan definitely qualifies as attractive.

“So,” he begins, and to your surprise, crouches down in front of you. “I have to be honest—I came out here in the first place because Reid sent me to check on you. But now I’m wondering what the hell he did.”

Spencer sent him. A considerate action that would theoretically signal his care for your feelings. You take another sip, staring into space and trying to digest this information, but it only jumbles with the rest to confuse you more.

Of course, you don’t know how to convey this to Derek in a way that’s not overly-familiar for just having met the man, so you go with an old standby.

“I’m probably just overreacting.”

“Uh-huh. I have sisters. I know what an overreaction looks like and if you were overreacting you wouldn’t be out here hiding. What’d he do?”

You can only keep up the facade of emotional stability for so long. Your chin wobbles in a horribly embarrassing way and you look down again.

“I’m not sure—I’m not sure if he really did anything or if I’m just being dramatic and I don’t want to make him seem—”

“Why don’t you stop defending him and just tell me what he did?” Derek urges. “Trust me—I love that kid to death. But I also know he can be a dick sometimes. You don’t need to worry about making him look bad in front of me.”

Part of you is glad Spencer has such a good friend on his side. And Derek is right—Spencer is an adult. You don’t need to worry about besmirching his reputation. So you take a shuddering sigh, staring into the red of your drink.

“He just doesn’t like me as much as I like him. Which isn’t his fault, like I said, but—he’s being such an asshole about it.”

Derek pulls a face, strong eyebrows making an impression as they knit.

“Did he tell you that?”

“Over the phone,” you nod emphatically. “And just now he gave me this whole fucking speech about how immature and horrible I am for not being 100% happy about it. And maybe he’s partially right, I mean—I know people feel things differently and maybe he just was asking for more time. I worry I fucked it up so bad because I couldn’t handle that—but at the same time he didn’t say he wanted more time. He was really fucking unclear and vague about what he wanted, and he asked me to come to this bar like it was nothing when I’ve been worried he was going to break up with me all week. So yeah, I guess he’s right and I have been a bitch about it because I was upset that he didn’t… like me as much. And I wanted him to feel bad because I was so embarrassed, and I also didn’t want to act like everything was normal if he was just going to dump me, I…” you realize you’ve been hardcore rambling and your face heats. “I don’t know.”

There’s a pause, and you worry you’ve done exactly the thing you didn’t want to, which was overshare to this man who seems like he’s significantly more normal and well-adjusted than you. You drink deeply, swallowing sugar and the rest of your words.

“That’s… bizarre. I don’t mean to invalidate your feelings, but… that just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yeah,” you scoff, projecting annoyance so you won’t start crying again. “I was confused too. I thought he really liked me.”

“No, sweetheart, I’m saying—that doesn’t make sense because he does really like you. Really, really likes you, more than I’ve ever seen him like someone before. I mean, last week I finally finished that Tesla biography he’s been on my ass about for months and when I told him, all he wanted to do was talk about your thoughts on it. And then it wasn’t even about the book anymore. I have never, ever seen Reid pass up an opportunity to talk about Nikola Tesla. I’m talking never in my life. He finds a way to make every conversation about you. I can’t even follow the connections sometimes but he always finds a way.”

Your nose wrinkles.

“Sorry you’ve had to hear so much about me,” you mumble. Though you’re not really sorry. It feels good. A twinge of joy in all the murk.

“I’m not. Like I said, I’ve known Spencer for a long time and I’ve never seen him this happy. I’m not about to let him fuck it up.”

“If I make him so happy then why did he tell me we don’t feel the same?” you whisper, reaching into the puddle of syrup and ice at the bottom of your now empty cup.

“Is that exactly what he said?” Derek asks, after a long pause. You bite the maraschino cherry off the stem and nod morosely, grinding a long-gone stranger’s cigarette butt with your boot just to crush something. There’s another beat of silence. “Alright. You know what I think?”

You raise your head to meet his gaze, your own wide-eyed and expectant.

“I think you two need to have an honest conversation. You’re both confused and hurting—I promise Spencer is feeling it too. If you talk to him he won’t be unkind to you.”

“He already was,” you admit.

“I apologize if I’m out of line here, but you just told me you’ve been icing him out all week because you want him to feel bad. I’m willing to bet you don’t realize how sharp these claws are.” Derek grabs your hand as he says it and you marvel at how much he is the opposite of you. Everything he does and says seems so natural and reasonable and charming even if it would piss you off from anyone else—and you just met the guy. You can see why Spencer and Penelope speak so highly of him. “I think you’ve probably both had your moments these past few days. But that doesn’t mean neither of you deserve any more chances.”

He puts your hand back on your knee and pats it.

“Besides, Spencer‘s not good at mean. I bet he’s inside worrying himself sick over whatever dumb shit he said to you. He’s probably hyperventilating as we speak.”

“It was really out of character for him,” you concede.

“Yeah. He’ll be apologizing for a long while. It will get annoying. But he sure as hell won’t be doing it again, I can tell you that much. If he does, let me know. Emily and I will whoop his ass and call it a fitness evaluation.”

“I think that’ll be unnecessary,” you laugh thickly, pulling your sleeve over your hand and wiping away the few tears that haven’t quite dried. “But thank you.”

“Anytime. Now, it’s my birthday, and as a grown man I should not be getting involved in someone else’s relationship drama. I was supposed to be on the dance floor a while ago.” His tone is so warm and sugary by the time he finishes it could rot his perfect grin. It’s futile to hide the way your mouth twists into a reluctant smile as you look down and fix your hair—praying he can’t tell how fazed you are by his kindness. “You’re going to talk to him, right?”

“I’ll—yeah. Right,” you say quietly. But the sinking feeling in your stomach knows it’s a thing easier said than done.

“Good,” Derek grunts, taking your empty cup before pushing himself back up to his feet and offering you a hand. “Do you want me to send him out here or do you want to come find him inside?”

You balk.

“Like—right now? I have to talk to him now?”

Before he can give you an answer you think you’d rather not have, the bar door is opening. From your spot you can’t see who it is right away, but Derek turns over his shoulder and does a double take before looking back at you.

Spencer steps out onto the sidewalk, eyes scanning for until he realizes you’re a few feet shorter than usual. Sitting on a filthy public walkway is probably his worst nightmare, you realize, as you scramble to your feet and dust the crumbs of concrete from your palms against the back of your cold jeans. He begins to say your name, and it sounds like relief and regret, but you stop him.

“I have to go wash my hands.”

It’s monotonous and mumbled and comes out too quickly but you don’t have time to worry about that as you brush past both of the men on your way back into the bar, making an immediate beeline for the bathroom.

Your face burns with anxiety as you shut the door behind you, immediately drowning in the yellowish lighting which is so harsh but seems to illuminate almost nothing. Who paints a bathroom red? It’s suffocating. You feel like you’re inside an aorta.

Water runs cool over your hands as you sniffle, rinsing the bits of dirt from red indents made by pebbles and things, and the soap is too floral and powdery but you wash twice anyway. Maybe you’ll just stay in here and wash your hands forever.

There’s a light knock on the shiny wooden door and it makes you jump. Your name is muffled from the other side.

“You in there?”

Quickly you wipe under your reddened eyes in the mirror, trying to fix the slightly smudged makeup.

The door opens when you don’t respond, and there’s Spencer, looking weary and tense all at once. Is that your fault?

“Hey,” you sniff, trying to effect casualness, but it comes out too quickly and your posture is too stiff. Under his all-seeing gaze you cross and uncross your arms, look at him and look away. Your hands end up in your pockets. He’d say crossed arms are a sign of self-soothing.

“Hey.” His is more measured, and of course makes you feel embarrassed in comparison. The door swings shut behind him as he enters the small room and makes it feel that much smaller. “Are you… hiding from me in here?”

Yes.

The graffitied toilet stalls to your left suddenly look fascinating.

“Nope. Just washing my hands.”

This is not what Derek told you to do, you scold yourself internally. Stop being so scared. Be honest with him.

Silence rings. All the brutally honest things you’d like to say choke you until your throat hurts and your eyes get hot. Yet again you feel like a stupid little girl who’s too emotional to communicate.

You cross your arms. It’s an indulgence you feel you’re owed.

Spencer says your name again and it’s too much. He never says it this often. When he does it feels good but now it’s too formal, makes you too aware of your own inadequacy, and how he must be seeing you—a wraith of a girl in a dingy bar bathroom with clammy hands and smudged eyeliner, practically shaking with fear under an unforgiving light. Someone who is too scared and much too sensitive.

Spencer attempts to speak again.

“What I said before, it was—”

“Can you just take me home?”

It comes out on one exhalation and seems to stall him with all the effectiveness of a slap to the face.

You don’t know where it comes from, either.

Easier said than done, you’d thought a few moments ago. All the bravery Derek had tried to instill in you is gone, swallowed down the drain like soap scum. And now you’re choosing to let your fear win—because at least that’s a known quantity. The fear will never reject you. It will always be waiting with open arms.

Too scared.

The end feels imminent. You try to press yourself back together, fingernails biting into palms, trying to make something feel more tangible than the terrible knowingness that you’re careening toward an end which was supposed to be a beginning. It’s stifling and you wonder if Spencer is breathing it too.

You can’t look at his face, but you watch him pocket his hands in his pants and there is so much impossible space between you in such a tiny room.

“Yeah. I can.”

Something breaks. It’s small, and without fanfare. But it feels final.

It’s just a ride home. Just a ride home.

That’s all you have left, and you don’t know how you know it but you do.

Something so important is being left in this stupid, dingy bathroom. Something that was at one point beautiful and shiny and so arrogant in its newness that it seemed it would never become ugly. And now you’re abandoning it without dignity on the chipped tile floor and in the cobwebs on the walls. It was bigger than you, it was you—and now it’s going to be nothing.

A vehicle honks on the street. A boisterous group laugh explodes somewhere beyond the door. Water drips from a faucet.

“I’ll… I’ll bring my car around.”

“Okay.”

But he just stands there for another moment. Like he can’t get himself to move.

If only time would freeze before he could walk away.

But it doesn’t.

He sucks in a decisive breath.

“Okay,” he murmurs.

It’s that fucking phone call all over again.

Then he spins on his heels and leaves you there.

Your time is up.

part 5.5

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine

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greatgatsbyhateblog · 2 years

Text

i was cleaning the litterboxes today, and while i was cleaning the one that my cat who passed away a year or so ago used, he came over and said hi to me :)<3

#personal log #when ur cat dies but he still shits in the litterbox </3 #alrighty yeah no further explanation needed post now xoxo #fr tho it was sweet bc its been a bit since ive rlly felt him so clearly even tho he meows all the time #also it was so definitively a Hi >^-w-^< I Am Here Now Hello I Am Doing Good #and it was the first time in a while (if ever) that he's actually *talked* to me and not just made his presence known #it was so vivid and i swear he felt almost tangible for a sec #ty christopher i love u bud<33 #cats

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soobinologisttt · 15 days

Text

playing with fire - yang jungwon

pairing ☆ jungwon x f. reader

warnings ☆ dom!jungwon, (im a sucker for doms), sub!reader, cunnilingus, cheating (reader and reader's exbf), in exbf's bed (lolol), praise (!!!), jungwon is a sweetheart, ft. ryujin of itzy and jaemin of nct

word count ☆ 4k

a/n: summer break !!! i can finally post more :) i am taking summer courses which sucks tho :(

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

usually, you love a good party. the drinks, the way drunk girls unite while in line for the bathroom. it became one of your favorite things about college.

but it wasn't always this way.

during your first year, you absolutely despised parties. opting out to curl up with a good book or tv show.

it was your second year when you found your love for parties.

your roommates begged you to go to a "beginning of the school year" party. then they dressed you like you were their doll.

3 shots later, you were all ready to go. (you wanted to pregame in fear of getting spiked at the party)

when you saw yourself in the mirror, you could not see the nerdy girl underneath.

short black skirt, tight white corset, boots that gave you at least two inches of height, and smoky makeup up with lashes.

your breast sat pretty, your ass was basically out, and your hair was straightened. straying away from the normal curls.

this was way out of your comfort zone but you liked it. feeling, for once in your life, hot.

of course, once you were actually at the party the confidence you had dissipated. you felt self-conscious, as you stood in the corner of the room.

you watched as people danced with friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, sneaky links. seeing them dance so openly and freely made you feel like an imposter.

you looked down into your red cup full of sprite. it wasn't even halfway finished.

you frowned as you looked back up. scanning the room for your roomates, you saw them having a good time.

sipping drinks and flirting with a group of guys that you've never seen.

that's when a pair of eyes found yours.

your eyes met his dark eyes and you felt your heart flutter.

your eyes dart to the floor in a panic as your cheeks heated up.

you never had gotten attention from boys, especially guys that were as hot as him.

he was tall, a good 5'10, lean, pretty face, dark eyes, jet black hair that looked soft to the touch and full lips that curve up into a cupids bow.

you could only imagine how they would feel.

you pulled yourself out of your thoughts and raced to pull out your phone.

focusing intently on your phone, you pull up your shared groupchat and start to type.

you only got to third word when you saw a body enter your eye sight.

you looked up to see who it is and it's the guy that was staring at you.

your heart was beating out of your chest. you've only ever read about guys this beautiful. but now you were in the presence of one.

you were awestruck like you just saw god.

he was dressed in the most basic fit, a backwards hat, a white tee, black adidias pants with stripes, and a white pair of adidas.

"hey, i've never seen you hear before." he gave you the most gut churning smile.

his long dimples catched your eyes like a moth to a flame.

"yeah, my roommate dragged me here and then disappeared." you bit your bottom lip.

"well, i can keep you company for the time being," he took your empty hand into his, leading you to the kitchen.

"what are we doing?" you question as you see where he is leading you.

"to get a drink." he smiled.

"what's your name?" you asked as he pulls you along.

"i'm na jaemin," he smirked.

that's when you knew you were in deep shit.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

now, your stood across the room from him just like how it started. glaring at him as if you were a hunter stalking its prey.

you know he feels your gaze. choosing to ignore it instead for some girl. the girl being one of your ex-roommates. the same one that brought you to a party in the first place.

you weren't surprised at this revelation. you knew she was known for being a homewrecker.

even going as far as sleeping with a professor. leading to his divorce with his wife.

so when you found the sext's between your boyfriend and ex-roommate, you didn't even flinch. she's known for this.

but, jaemin doesn't know that you know. all day you've been going around like everything is okay between you two.

just like is started, you plan to end it that way too.

he wants to play, you can play too.

while dressing up, you made sure to put on something that would turn heads.

dressing yourself in a tiny black skirt, red corset, and your favorite black heeled boots.

wearing the most dramatic makeup, a smokey red look with eyeliner that could cut.

nevertheless he doesn't even give you a second look. instead his focus is on the girl in front of him. looking her up and down while smirking.

you feel your face get hot, the anger has you crushing the red cup in your hand. nearing spilling all of you're sprite and vodka.

your hands releases before anything can spill.

instead you take a big gulp, nearly draining your cup.

you continue watching as the alcohol runs down, basking in the feeling of the warm substance reaching your stomach.

the feeling calms you. taking your mind away from the breaking heart in your chest.

you close your eyes and take a deep breath. containing the tears that you've been holding back.

when you open your eyes, you see him flashing his gummy smile at the women in front of him.

you are so over it. you are so ready to go over there and talk your shit.

not only to him, but to her too.

just as you were getting ready to stalk towards them, you feel a pair of hands on your waist.

you yelp as you jump to turn around.

"oh i didn't mean to scare you," your best friend, ryujin apologizes.

"it's okay," you turn back around as you feel your eyes start to water.

she quickly follows your gaze to where your almost ex-boyfriend is flirting with your ex-roommate.

she knows everything. as soon as your found out, she was there. threatening to cut his dick off and shove it down his throat.

at the time that made you laugh, but now it makes you want to cry. you wish she could do it without getting charged, but unfortunately that is frowned upon.

you put your head down to shield the forming tears from your best friend.

"forget about him," she makes her way to your front.

"i am trying," you pull your head up to look her in the eyes.

her hands make their way to your shoulders, shaking you lightly.

when you see her soften smile, you nearly break down.

"we are going to dance." she pulls you into a hug before pulling back and grabbing your wrist.

you hurry to gulp down your drink as she pulls you along.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

you end up between ryujin and a random guy.

your back is to him as you scan the room to find your cheating boyfriend.

you didn't realize how close you were until he leans over you and whispers into your ear.

"what are you looking at?" he follows your eyes to were you have been looking, "you've been staring over there all night."

you roll your eyes, "my boyfriend is cheating on me with my ex roommate."

you turn around to face him, faced with on of the most beautiful boys you have ever seen.

you thought the same about jaemin, but this guy topped him by a lot.

as tall (maybe taller) than jaemin, wide cat light eyes, that gleam a

you couldn't help but notice how pretty his eyes are. a dark chocolate color that has you buckling at the knees just looking at them.

you immediately freeze, face turning red for the second time tonight.

"i'm sorry for throwing that all on you,"

"no, it's okay. i'm jungwon," he greets you.

that name sounds so familiar but you can't put your finger on it. you crinkle your face as you attempt to recall.

"jungwon... i know that name from somewhere,"

"we had a project together last year. over the pros of solar power." he tilts his head slightly and smiles, his dimple on full display.

his smile caused the butterfiles to unleash from their cage in your chest. you attempt to lock them back up, but instead they make their way down to your cunt.

you slightly rub your thighs together as you feel your underwear dampen.

"oh yeah," you smile back.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

during the night, you dance with ryujin and jungwon. even going as far as to grind on the both of them.

hoping to get a reaction for your cheating boyfriend but instead getting the attention of his friends. glaring at you like you were in the wrong.

you couldn't care less, flipping them off multiple times as you grind your ass on the two people surrounding you.

as the night goes on you start to forget about jaemin. enjoying your time with jungwon and ryunjin, laughing and dancing to the music.

sometime around 1am, ryujin excuses you and her to go to the bathroom.

while standing in line you catch a glimpse of jaemin leaving his room with your ex-roommate, attempting to hide her behind him.

"where have you been all night?" he questions accusingly, as the girl sneaks past you both.

"i don't know, where have you been all night?" you scolf, crossing your arms.

"looking for you," he rolls his eyes.

"i was so easy to spot, ask your friends," you smirk, "or maybe ask your little fuck buddy," you nearly laugh.

"what?" jaemin squints his eyes are he plays dumb.

"oh you thought you were being sneaky?" you laugh this time, "might want to tell her that, she has been eyeing me the whole night. i think she wants me next. too bad i don't want your sloppy seconds." you wink.

you watch as his face turns a deep red. making you want to laugh even more. as he opens his mouth to respond, you hear the bathroom door open.

it is your turn for the bathroom.

"come on y/n," ryujin pulls you into the bathroom with her before you could finish going off on him.

"thank you," you hug her.

you probably would of pushed him down the flight of stairs next to you guys if she didn't pull you into the bathroom.

"no problem," she smiles at you as she pulls back.

after you both pee, you decide to go to check jaemin's room. sepecting that they were fucking while you were dancing.

you know that is it going to hurt you but you just need to prove it. your noisy personailty getting ahold of you.

when you both exit the bathroom, you top her. stepping off the side so the line can keep going.

"you can go down first," you tell her, "i have something i have to do." you nod to the room jaemin and his mistress came out of.

"okay, call me if you need me," she smiles, "the offer still stands, i can cut it off and stick it down her month instead."

you shake your head with a chuckle.

"i need you out of jail, who else is gonna threaten people for me."

she rolls her eyes, "fine, well text me. i'll be downstairs."

you give her a tiny nod before turning to walk down the dark hall.

when you get closer to jaemin's room, you see jungwon enter it.

you feel your stomach flip.

"why is he in there?" you question.

you conutine to stalk towards the room and with one step at a time, you feel your heart drop.

by the time you open the door, your heart is in your stomach.

the light on jaemin's desk is the only light on in the room. casting a orangish yellow color within the room.

"what are you doing in here?" you ask the boy that is leaning on jaemin's desk. the very same desk that you do homework on. or atleast did.

you shake the thought out of your head.

"waiting for you," jungwon smiles.

"how did you know i was.... you know what nevermind, you can you help?"

"sure, what do you need me to do?"

you look down at your shoes that are killing your feet.

"i'm looking for anything that proves that they were.. having sex." you wince at the heartbreaking thought.

he quickly moves to look around the bed as you rummage through jaemin's drawers.

knowing him, you thought he would hide it somewhere.

just like how he hide his secret side piece.

"like this?"

you turn around in a flash and to see jungwon holding the evidence.

a ripped condom packet.

you feel the tears form.

"fuck." you quickly wipe the few tears that are rolling down your cheeks.

he looks at you with pure eyes. watching as you wipe your tears.

he starts to walk towards you, "y/n, you know that he -"

he stops as you dash to the bathroom, feeling bile rise from your stomach.

you dry heave into the trash, only to find the final conformation that he indeed slept with her.

the condom, lazily tied and tossed for the world to see.

you feel your world crash down around you. you back up to the wall behind you. sliding down it as the tears slide down your face.

"he doesn't deserve you, y/n." jungwon sits down next to you.

"i know, jungwon. but it still hurts," you pull your knees to your chest and put your head on them.

jungwon takes this chance to move in front of you. pulling your head up to look into your eyes.

his brown eyes matching his dark brown hair, both glimmering in the bathroom light.

"can i take your mind off of it?" he wipes your tears.

"how?" you search his eyes for a clue to why he is being so nice to you.

"like this," he leans foward and smashes his lips onto yours.

you kiss back, feeling his warm lips against yours. not in lust but in want, need, yearning.

placing his hands on your cheeks he pulls you into a deeper kiss.

he pushes his tongue lightly against your lips. asking for entrance. you slightly part your lips and he pushes his tongue in.

he tastes like cranberry, probably from the cranberry vodka he was drinking.

you moan at the taste, sending a shock to your now aching cunt.

you took this time to push your tongue into his mouth, exploring it, memorizing, and craving more of it.

you don't even know how long you have been kissing when he pulls back.

you could care less as he rest his forehead on yours.

"fuck, you have no idea how long i've wanted to do that." his dimples reval themselves as he smiles..

"really?" you look down at your shoes.

"yes," brings his pointer fingers to your chin and lifts up your head.

"jungwon?" you question as your eyes flicker from one eye to the other.

"yes gorgeous?"

"can we get off the floor? my heels are hurting my feet." you chuckle.

"oh yeah," he moves quickly to get up.

once he is on his two feet, he holds out his hand to help you up.

thinking that he is just gonna help you up, you take it. but instead you end up around him.

legs circling him and arms incasing his neck.

your faces are inches apart when he utters.

"is this okay?" jungwon asks, pulling his face back a little to watch you answer.

you feel youself blush at the way his breath tickled your lips.

"yes, this is okay." you smile up at him.

he takes this as a okay to walk you out of thr bathroom. sitting you on jaemin's desk, he quickly makes his way to look the door.

"if you want to stop at any time, tell me okay?" he states as he takes big strides towards you.

you nod with a little smile. already feeling a little daze from the way he is talking to you.

"baby, use your words. i need to know that you understand," he reaches you and pulls you to the edge of the desk. pulling you closer to him.

"i understand jungwon," as soon as the words left your mouth, he lunges at your neck. soft lips leaving a trail of soft kissed and love bites.

"atta girl." jungwon praises you.

you feel the ache between your thighs worsen as he speaks.

"if i was your man, i would treat you better." he mutters on your neck.

"jungwon," you moan as he places one hand on your waist and the other on your left tit. pulling roughly on your corset, letting your breasts out of the tight garment.

"you like that? my hands all over you in his bedroom?" jungwon teases.

"mhm, i like it so much," you throw your head back in bliss.

his fingers pinch and squeezes your nipple making you jump and whimper.

"fuck y/n, you're so amazing." he grunts.

you close your thighs around jungwon, core aching in need as he continues talking.

"i would make you so happy y/n," jungwon starts, "baby, you would never feel the way he makes you feel,"

he brings his hand down from your tit to your clit. outlining the little bead as you arch into his hand.

you throw you head back, making it easier for him to have access to your neck.

he sucks roughly at your soft spot.

between the feeling of his lips on you and the noises that are filling the room, you could no longer hold back.

"fuck, jungwon." you moan loudly.

"you're so perfect y/n." he groans.

your fingers claw at his clothed back, wanting more.

"can i leave a mark?" he asks against your neck.

you nod as he starts to suck and nip at your skin savagely.

the sensation of his lips against your neck and his fingers circling you clit but not touching, you feel like you were going to combust of need.

"jungwon," you try to move your neck.

but, he doesn't let you move instead he places the hand from you waist on the back of your neck.

"please, please," you grind into his finger, finally getting it to touch your clit.

you roll your eyes in pleassure.

"what do you need baby?" he mumbles against your neck.

"i need you."

he pulls back and brings his hand from your clit to your chin. admirring his work before looking into your eyes.

"are you sure?" his bright brown eyes look at your wereily.

"please, i really want this," you smash your lips onto his.

you feel his arms embrace you before picking you up and making way to jaemin's bed.

you know this is wrong but you couldn't care less. jaemin cheated on you... and you want this.

jungwon lays you on your back on the edge of jaemin's bed.

"god, you're so gorgeous," he pulls back to look at you.

you blush and shy away, turning your head.

he pulls your head back to look at him.

"you don't have to cover up for me," he smiles at you.

"okay," you look into his big brown eyes.

he makes his hands down to your skirt.

"can i leave it on?"

fuck.

"yes," you whine.

he moves to his knees and kisses up your thighs to your underwear.

you gasp as jungwon's teeth latch onto the thin fabic of your underwear. you sit up on your elbows to watch him drag them off of you with his teeth.

you can feel the smooth surface of his teeth as he slowly drags them against your skin.

his hands are on the side of both of your thighs as he looks up at you with dark, lustful eyes.

once your underwear are past your thighs, jungwon finishes pulling them down quickly.

"lay just like that baby." jungwon mumbles as he lightly pushes you back down.

when you're back down, he starts to kiss up your thighs.

his hands return to the side of you as he continues to kiss up your thighs slowly until he makes it to your stomach.

"you're so pretty," he growls onto your stomach.

"jungwon, please." you arch.

he slides his right hand up your thigh to your wet heat.

you shudder at the feeling, feeling the sensation of your pulsating cunt.

the soft tips of his fingers prodding at your entrance.

"please what?" he smirks against your stomach.

"touch me," you moan as he slides his finger in.

"that's all you had to say y/n," he slides back onto his knees.

before you could even think of something to say, his mouth connects with your clit. sucking harshly as you whimper.

"fuck jungwon," he slides another finger into your wet pussy.

fingers pumping into you as he sucks on your numb clit.

"jungwon," you heave as he speads up his pace.

his tongue swirls around your clit as he continues to finger you.

"i am going to cum," you moan, "please keep going, just like that." you run your hands through his hair.

he doesn't stop as you grip his hair tightly.

you start to feel that build up of pleasure that jaemin could never bring to you.

"fuck, i am so so so close,"

jungwon moans against your clit and you break.

arching you back as you chant his name.

he slows down his motions and lifts off of you, quickly coming up to check on you.

"are you okay?" jungwon smiles with his red lips and puffy lips.

"yes, i am more than okay." you smile at him in a daze, "this is the first time in awhile that a guy has made me cum." you blush.

"glad i could help," he smiles again before going down to pick up your underwear.

"what are you doing?" you sit up on your elbows.

"dressing you. i don't want your roommate to worry." he helps you to pull up your underwear.

"she'll be okay," you smile as he stands.

"i want it to be special." he looks down at you.

"what?" you look back up at him.

"I want my first time with you to be special." he explains.

"why?"

"because, this is something i've been dreaming about. i do not want it to be in the same room that you're cheating ex lives in. you deserve so much better." he pulls you up and looks into your eyes.

you blush as you look down at the floor.

"is that okay with you?" jungwon brings his hand to your chin and guides it so that you are looking at him.

his eyes as wide as a full moon. glaring at you with a sparkle that has you wanting to drop to your knees.

"yes," you kiss him, jungwon kissing you back with more passion than you thought a human could ever have.

he pulls back after about a minute, "let's get you home."

you nod as he grabs your hand and leads you to the door.

as soon as you open it, your ex is standing there.

"what the fuck are you doing with my girlfriend?" he nearly screams.

"doing what you couldn't," jungwon smiles innocently, "making her cum."

you chuckle as jungwon pulls you though the party.

eyes are all on you both but you couldn't care less. for the first time in a long time you feel wanted. cherished.

you look around for your bestfriend but don't see her. pulling out your phone you see her text.

i went home, text me (jungwon texted me ;))

"i can drive you home." he says as you both step out into the cold.

"i would love that," you smile up at him from his right side.

"alright," he slings his arm around you and kisses your forehead, "let's go."

#jungwon x reader #jungwon imagines #jungwon fluff #jungwon smut #jungwon hard hours #yang jungwon #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen smut

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songbirdseung · 2 months

Text

young love / nishimura riki

synopsis: she fell first but he fell harder type of scenario. slow burn romance??? wc: 7k??

pairing: childhood friends riki x reader (riki dislikes reader at first tho) fluff??? if you squint, ANGSTYY

warnings: rejection, mean riki, jealousy

note: povs change midway / part 2

people would say you were far too young to say you were in love at the age of 8 years old. your mom definitely laughed at you in a loving supportive mom way, your dad immediately told you to stay away from boys and your brother teased you till the ends of the earth. unfortunately for you, your young heart had so much love to give, and your mind however decided that love was to be given to nishimura riki.

it started when you were in preschool, you were three years old. doodling on your hello kitty notebook, you notice that there was writing on the bottom on every page. "I like you", you may have bothered everyone in the class trying to figure out who it was, not knowing it was a little prank by your best friend. the prank escalated to where they blamed or pointed fingers at the innocent little riki who was quiet in the back. (he didn't do it) since then, you stuck with him.

despite his initial reluctance and occasional irritation at your constant presence, you stick by his side like glue. you're always there to defend him when others try to pick on him.

there are moments when riki pushes you away, seeking solitude and space. but you refuse to give up, always finding a way to insert yourself back into his life, whether he likes it or not.

throughout the friendship, yours and riki's bond has been a constant source of support and companionship. you have always been there for riki, offering unwavering loyalty and understanding, even when he seemed indifferent or distant. the friendship, though built on your persistent efforts, has always felt one-sided, with you giving much more than you receives.

yet, despite this imbalance, you never expected to develop romantic feelings for riki. it's a typical afternoon, and you're on your way to riki's house, as you've done countless times before. as you approach his street, you catch sight of him walking ahead, hand in hand with a girl you don't recognize. they're chatting and laughing, completely oblivious to your presence.

your heart sinks as a pang of jealousy surges through you. you stop in your tracks, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. for the first time, you allow yourself to acknowledge the truth – perhaps your feelings for Riki run deeper than mere friendship.

watching them together, you feel a sense of longing wash over you, a longing to be the one walking beside him, holding his hand.

you're sitting in the school's cafeteria with your friends sunoo and yuna. you've been lost in thought ever since you saw riki with that girl earlier. sunoo nudges you, snapping you out of your reverie. "hey, yn, you've been quiet all morning. what's up?" you hesitate for a moment before finally blurting out what you saw.

yuna gasps in surprise, while sunoo's eyebrows shoot up. "are you giving up on riki then?" sunoo asks, concern evident in his voice. you shake your head slowly. "i don't know… i didn't realize i felt this way until today." yuna leans in, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "so, what are you gonna do about it?" you bite your lip, feeling a mix of nerves and determination bubbling inside you. "i don't know yet, but i can't just ignore these feelings."

as you speak, a surge of determination fills you. "i think i need to talk to riki," you say, surprising yourself with the decisiveness in your tone. sunoo and yuna exchange glances, nodding in agreement.

"yeah, you should," sunoo says, his voice supportive. "you've been there for him all this time, it's only fair that you're honest with him about how you feel." yuna reaches out and squeezes your hand gently. "we'll be here for you no matter what happens," she reassures you with a warm smile.

with your friends by your side, you feel a newfound sense of courage and resolve. you know that confronting your feelings for riki won't be easy, but you also know that it's a conversation you need to have. taking a deep breath, you steel yourself for the conversation that lies ahead.

as you go about your day, your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. you can't shake the image of Riki holding hands with that girl, and the realization that you might have deeper feelings for him consumes your thoughts. every interaction with your classmates feels like a blur as you try to focus on the task at hand, but your mind keeps drifting back to riki.

in class, you find it difficult to concentrate, your thoughts constantly wandering to what you'll say when you finally talk to riki. the minutes drag on as you anxiously wait for the final bell to ring, signaling the end of the school day.

when the bell finally does ring, you feel a surge of nervous energy coursing through you. with determination, you make your way to riki's locker, where you know you'll find him. as you approach, you spot him chatting with a group of friends, laughter ringing in the air.

taking a deep breath, you steel yourself for what's to come. you walk up to him, heart pounding in your chest, and tap him on the shoulder. he turns to face you, surprise evident in his eyes.

"hey, riki," you say, your voice wavering slightly. "can we talk?"

riki's expression shifts from surprise to confusion as he looks at you, his brows furrowed slightly. "sure, what's up?" he responds, his tone polite but guarded.

you swallow hard, the words suddenly feeling stuck in your throat. how do you even begin to explain the swirling mess of emotions inside you? you take a moment to gather your thoughts before plunging ahead.

"i… um, i saw you with that girl earlier," you start, your voice barely above a whisper. "and… it made me realize something."

riki's expression remains unreadable as he waits for you to continue. you take a deep breath, steeling yourself for what's to come.

"i think… i think i might have feelings for you," you finally confess, your heart pounding in your chest. "i know it's probably… unexpected, but… i just had to tell you."

for a moment, there's silence as riki processes your words. then, to your dismay, his expression shifts from confusion to something akin to pity.

"yn, i… i never saw you that way," he says gently, his voice tinged with sympathy. "i mean, you're a great friend and all, but… i just don't feel the same."

you feel a pang of disappointment and embarrassment wash over you, your cheeks burning with humiliation. you had hoped for a different outcome, but deep down, you knew that this was a possibility.

"i understand," you manage to choke out, forcing a tight smile onto your face. "i just… needed to get that off my chest."

riki nods, his eyes filled with a mixture of sympathy and discomfort. "i'm sorry, you. i hope we can still be friends."

you nod numbly, feeling a lump form in your throat. "yeah, of course," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

as riki walks away, leaving you standing there alone, you can't help but feel a sense of emptiness wash over you. you had braced yourself for rejection, but it still stings nonetheless. with a heavy heart, you turn and make your way out of the school, trying to push aside the feelings of disappointment and heartache that threaten to overwhelm you.

in the days following riki's rejection, everything feels different. your once-familiar routine now feels like a minefield, every corner a potential reminder of the pain you're trying so desperately to push aside.

where once you eagerly sought out opportunities to spend time with riki, now you find yourself actively avoiding him. you no longer linger by his locker between classes or seek him out during lunch. instead, you take alternate routes through the school, hoping to avoid any chance encounters.

your daily routine undergoes a significant shift. the time you used to spend thinking about ways to interact with riki is now filled with distractions – anything to keep your mind from dwelling on the hurt and rejection you feel.

you throw yourself into your studies, burying yourself in textbooks and assignments in a desperate attempt to escape the painful thoughts swirling inside your head. you immerse yourself in extracurricular activities, joining clubs and sports teams to fill the void left by Riki's absence.

but no matter how busy you keep yourself, his presence – or rather, his absence – is a constant weight on your mind. you find yourself replaying the conversation over and over again, analyzing every word, every expression, searching for some clue as to what went wrong.

"yn, are you okay?" sunoo asks, his voice filled with genuine concern as he takes in your somber expression.

you offer a weak smile, grateful for his concern but unsure of how to put your feelings into words. yuna reaches out and squeezes your hand gently, offering a silent gesture of support.

"we're here for you, yn," she says softly. "whatever you need, we'll help you through this."

sunoo nods in agreement. "yeah, and maybe we can come up with a plan to prove riki wrong! show him what he's missing out on."

you shake your head, the thought of confronting riki again filling you with dread. "i appreciate it, but I don't think that's such a good idea," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

sunoo and yuna exchange glances, concern evident in their eyes. "but you, you deserve to be happy," sunoo insists. "and if riki can't see that, then he doesn't deserve you."

you know they mean well, but the thought of confronting riki again feels like reopening a wound that's only just begun to heal. "i just need some time to figure things out," you say, your voice tinged with sadness. "but thank you, both of you, for being here for me."

throughout the week, riki couldn't shake the strange feeling that something was off. your absence felt like a gaping hole in his routine, a void he hadn't realized was there until it was gone. it was unsettling, to say the least, not having you constantly around him, your presence a constant in his life.

as he made his way through the crowded hallways between classes, riki couldn't help but notice how you seemed to be actively avoiding him. every time their eyes met, you would quickly turn away or your footsteps quickening as you hurried past him. it was a stark contrast to the way things used to be, and riki couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt tug at his heartstrings.

turning around, he found himself face to face with the girl he had been holding hands with earlier.

"hey, riki, are you okay?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.

forced a tight smile onto his face, trying to push aside the unease that gnawed at him. "yeah, i'm fine, just… tired," he replied, his voice lacking its usual warmth.

she studied him for a moment, her eyes searching his face for any signs of distress. "are you sure?" she pressed, her concern deepening.

riki nodded quickly, eager to end the conversation before it went any further. "yeah, really, it's nothing," he insisted, his tone firm.

as the girl finally relented and walked away, riki couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt tug at his conscience. he knew he had brushed her off, but he couldn't bring himself to confide in her about the turmoil swirling inside him.

turning away, riki's gaze drifted across the crowded hallway, and his heart skipped a beat as he locked eyes with you. In that moment, he realized that you had seen them together, and a wave of regret washed over him. he had hurt you, and there was no denying the hurt reflected in your eyes as you turned away and disappeared into the crowd.

the next few days were a whirlwind of rumors and whispers that seemed to follow you everywhere you went. the whole school was abuzz with talk of riki and the girl he had been seen with, speculating about their newfound relationship.

everywhere you turned, you were met with curious glances and hushed conversations that seemed to stop abruptly as soon as you approached. it felt like the entire school was talking about riki and the girl, and you couldn't escape the constant reminders of what had happened.

even in class, the chatter seemed to revolve around riki and his supposed new girlfriend, the topic dominating every conversation and leaving you feeling more isolated than ever. it was like being trapped in a bubble of gossip and speculation, with no way to escape.

the days dragged on, the weight of it all became almost unbearable. you couldn't escape the constant reminders of what had happened, and with each passing day, it felt like the walls were closing in around you. all you wanted was to find a way to escape the suffocating atmosphere that seemed to surround you at every turn.

you find yourself sitting across from your mom, the weight of your recent heartache heavy on your shoulders. with a sigh, you let out a torrent of words, pouring out all the feelings you've been keeping bottled up inside.

"mom, I messed up. I should've kept my feelings to myself, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to be close to him." you confess, your voice tinged with regret.

"i thought i was doing okay, but I'm not coping," you continue, your words coming out in a rush. "and now I feel like i've lost everything."

you pause, feeling the weight of your words hanging in the air. "i know i wasn't thinking clearly," you admit, your voice faltering.

as you speak, you can see the concern in your mom's eyes, her brow furrowing with worry. she reaches out and takes your hand in hers, offering you a comforting squeeze.

your mom's words of comfort offer a moment of solace, but you still feel a heavy weight pressing down on you. sensing your need for guidance, she takes a deep breath before offering you some motherly advice.

"sweetheart, i know it hurts right now, but sometimes the hardest lessons teach us the most important things," she begins, her voice gentle yet firm. "it's okay to let your feelings out, but it's also important to remember to take care of yourself."

she reaches out and brushes a strand of hair from your face, her gaze filled with warmth and understanding. "you're strong, and you'll get through this," she assures you. "but don't be afraid to lean on those who love you for support. and remember, sometimes the best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and use them to grow."

in the days that follow, you find yourself gradually adapting to the new normal without riki. you focus on your studies, throw yourself into your hobbies, and spend more time with friends, trying to fill the void left by his absence.

but no matter how busy you keep yourself, there are moments when the memories come flooding back – the inside jokes, the shared laughter, the moments of quiet understanding. it's in those moments that you feel the pang of loss most acutely, a reminder of what could have been.

as riki lounges in his family house with his two closest friends, jungwon and jake, the topic of his new relationship naturally arises. they chat about how things are going, sharing anecdotes and laughter as they recount the early stages of romance.

eventually, jake steers the conversation in a different direction, broaching the topic of yn and her absence from riki's life. "hey, man, have you noticed how yn's been pretty much out of the picture lately?" he asks, his tone casual but probing.

riki's smile fades slightly as he considers jake's words. he hadn't realized just how much yn's presence had shaped his daily life until now. "yeah, i guess so," he replies, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "it's… different without her around."

jungwon nods in agreement, his expression thoughtful. "maybe you should reach out to her, see how she's doing," he suggests gently. "it might do both of you some good to talk things out."

riki considers jungwon's words for a moment, the weight of yn's absence weighing heavily on his mind. maybe it was time to confront the elephant in the room and address the rift that had formed between them.

riki nods slowly, a sense of determination settling in his chest. "yeah, maybe you're right," he agrees, his voice quiet but resolute. "i'll reach out to her and see if we can talk things through."

jake and jungwon offer him reassuring nods, their support evident in their expressions. "we've got your back, man," jake says, clapping riki on the shoulder. "just remember to be honest and open with her."

lying in bed later that night, riki can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at him. the conversation with jungwon and jake weighs heavily on his mind, their words echoing in his ears. he knows that reaching out to yn is the right thing to do, but the thought of confronting the situation fills him with apprehension.

slowly, he reaches for his phone, his fingers hovering over the screen as he contemplates what to say. he wants to text you, to bridge the gap that has formed between them, but the words elude him.

"hey yn," he types out tentatively, his heart pounding in his chest. "i hope you're doing okay. can we talk?"

he stares at the message for a moment, uncertainty coursing through him. but then, with a deep breath, he hits send, knowing that no matter what happens, it's a step in the right direction. he doesn't receive a reply back, which is expected. so, he texts one more time, a simple message asking if they could talk, and then heads to bed.

the next morning, you wake up to a text from riki, asking if you could talk. you read the message over and over again, the words weighing heavily on your mind. throughout the day, you can't shake the feeling of uncertainty, wondering if it's a good idea to respond.

you replay the conversation in your head, trying to anticipate what riki might say. part of you wants to reach out and talk things out, to clear the air and find closure. but another part of you is afraid – afraid of reopening old wounds, afraid of getting hurt all over again.

as the day wears on, the internal debate rages on, leaving you feeling torn and conflicted. you know that you can't avoid the conversation forever, but you also know that once you open that door, there's no turning back.

you're not sure what to do. should you respond to riki's message and face whatever comes next, or should you continue to avoid the conversation and the potential pain that it might bring?

finally, after much deliberation, you decide to reply. you type out a message, keeping it simple yet sincere. "hey riki, i'm willing to talk. when are you free?" you hit send, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety.

you wait anxiously for a response, unsure of what to expect. part of you hopes for a positive outcome, a chance to heal old wounds and move forward. but another part of you fears the worst, worried that this conversation will only bring more pain.

finally, a response comes. "hey, thanks for being willing to talk. how about we meet up tomorrow afternoon?" you agree, and the two of you set a time and place to meet.

as the meeting approaches, you feel a mix of emotions – nervousness, hope, and fear. you know that whatever happens, this conversation will be an important step towards closure, towards healing.

you arrive at the cafe a few minutes early, your heart pounding with anticipation. you take a seat at a table near the window and wait for riki to arrive.

when they finally walk in, you can't help but notice how tense they look. you exchange awkward greetings before diving into the conversation.

riki starts by apologizing, their words hesitant and unsure. they admit to their mistakes, to the pain they caused you. you listen quietly, feeling a mix of anger and sadness bubbling inside you.

but as they continue to speak, you start to sense a genuine remorse in their words. they explain how they've reflected on their actions, how they've grown and changed since then.

slowly, the walls you've built around your heart begin to crumble. you find yourself opening up, sharing your own thoughts and feelings, your own mistakes and regrets.

the conversation is raw and emotional, but also cathartic. by the end of it, you both feel a sense of closure, a weight lifted off your shoulders.

as you part ways, you realize that while the wounds may never fully heal, you've taken a step towards forgiveness, towards letting go of the past and embracing the future.

in the days that follow, you start to notice a change in the air at school. the tension that once hung heavy between you and riki begins to dissipate, replaced by a newfound sense of peace.

your friends, sunoo and yuna, notice the difference too. they smile at you more often, sensing that a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. their support helps you to feel stronger, more confident in your decision to forgive and move forward.

even riki's friends, jungwon and jake, seem to be more at ease around you. they offer you friendly nods and smiles in the hallway, a silent acknowledgment of the healing that has taken place between you and riki.

as for riki himself, he seems happier too. you catch glimpses of him laughing and joking with his friends, his girlfriend by his side. while seeing them together still stings a little, you can't help but feel happy for him, happy that he's found someone who makes him smile.

despite the lingering scars of the past, life at school starts to feel better, brighter. you focus on your studies, on spending time with your friends, on building a future for yourself.

and as you do, you realize that while forgiveness may not erase the pain of the past, it has the power to heal and to bring about a sense of peace. you take comfort in knowing that you've chosen to let go of bitterness and resentment, to embrace love and forgiveness instead.

one day, a few weeks after your conversation at the cafe, riki approaches you at school. he asks if you'd be willing to hang out, just the two of you, to catch up and chat.

you're hesitant at first, unsure if you're ready for such an intimate encounter. but after some thought, you agree, figuring that it could be a chance to further mend the rift between you.

you decide to meet at a nearby park, a place that holds fond memories from your childhood. as you sit on a bench, you both take a moment to soak in the peaceful surroundings.

"so, how have you been?" riki asks, breaking the silence.

"i've been okay," you reply, trying to sound casual. "it's been a journey, but i think i'm getting there."

"i'm glad to hear that," riki says sincerely. "i've been doing a lot of thinking since we last talked, and i just want you to know that i'm truly sorry for everything."

you nod, appreciating his honesty. "thank you. i've been trying to move past it all, and i think i'm getting there too."

the two of you continue to talk, reminiscing about old times and sharing updates about your lives. slowly but surely, the awkwardness fades away, replaced by a sense of ease and familiarity.

as the sun begins to set, you both realize that it's time to head home. but instead of feeling sad, you feel hopeful – hopeful for the future, and for the possibility of rebuilding your friendship with riki.

"it's nice to finally talk without all the tension," riki says, breaking the ice.

"yeah, it really is," you reply, feeling a sense of relief.

you spend the afternoon talking and laughing, reminiscing about old times and sharing stories about what's been happening in your lives. as the sun begins to set, you both realize how much you've missed each other's company.

"we should do this more often," riki says, and you nod in agreement.

A few weeks later, your friend group and riki's friend group decide to have lunch together at a local café. the atmosphere is light and friendly, with everyone chatting and laughing.

sunoo and yuna are their usual bubbly selves, striking up conversations with riki's friends jungwon and jake. even riki's girlfriend joins in, adding to the lively banter.

you find yourself enjoying the moment, surrounded by friends old and new. you share jokes and stories, feeling grateful for the sense of community and connection.

as the lunch comes to an end, you realize how much things have changed since that text from riki. while the past will always be a part of your story, you're grateful for the healing and growth that has taken place, both individually and as a group.

you leave the café feeling lighter, knowing that no matter what the future holds, you have a strong support system by your side.

a month later, life has settled into a comfortable rhythm. you and riki have continued to hang out occasionally, building a friendship based on mutual respect and understanding.

your friend groups have also grown closer, often spending weekends together hiking, watching movies, or just hanging out at someone's house. the divide that once existed between your groups has faded, replaced by a sense of camaraderie and friendship.

yuna and you find yourselves in your bedroom, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light. you've been talking about life, love, and everything in between when yuna brings up a question that catches you off guard.

"are you really over riki and his girlfriend?" yuna asks, her eyes searching yours.

you pause, taking a moment to consider her question. after a moment of reflection, you nod, a sense of certainty settling over you.

"I think I am," you say, surprised by the truth of your words.

yuna smiles, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "well, if that's the case, how about we spice things up a bit? I know someone who's perfect for you."

you raise an eyebrow, intrigued. "oh? and who might that be?"

"that's a secret," yuna replies, a playful smile playing on her lips.

"are you serious?" you ask, "absolutely," yuna replies, her smile widening. "it'll be fun, trust me."

after a moment of contemplation, you nod, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Okay, let's do it." yuna claps her hands together, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "great! i'll set everything up. this is going to be so much fun!"

the next day at school, you and yuna find yourselves in class, whispering excitedly about the upcoming blind date. yuna fills you in on the details, her eyes sparkling with anticipation, unaware that riki is listening in from the desk behind you.

"so, his name is sunghoon," yuna whispers, her voice barely above a whisper. "he's really sweet and funny, and I think you'll really like him."

you nod, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement swirling in your stomach. the thought of meeting someone new is both thrilling and terrifying, but you trust yuna's judgment and know that she wouldn't set you up with just anyone.

as you and yuna continue to talk, riki can't help but overhear snippets of your conversation. he leans in closer, his curiosity piqued by the mention of a blind date.

"hey, sorry to eavesdrop, but did I hear you two talking about a blind date?" riki interjects, his voice hesitant.

you and yuna turn to face him, surprised by his sudden interest. you exchange a glance before nodding in unison.

"yeah, yuna set me up with someone," you reply, trying to sound nonchalant.

riki smiles, a hint of warmth in his eyes. "that's great! I hope it goes well for you, yn."

you're taken aback by his genuine well wishes, a pang of gratitude swelling in your chest. despite the ups and downs of your past, it's moments like these that remind you of the bond you once shared with riki.

"thanks, riki," you say, offering him a small smile. "I appreciate it."

as the bell rings, signaling the start of class, you can't help but feel a sense of excitement building inside you. the prospect of meeting someone new fills you with hope and anticipation, and you can't wait to see where this blind date will lead.

later that day, as the sun begins to set, you find yourself getting ready for the blind date. yuna, sunoo, and even riki are at your house, helping you choose the perfect outfit and giving you pep talks to calm your nerves.

yuna rummages through your closet, pulling out various dresses and tops, while sunoo raids your makeup bag, expertly applying just the right amount of eyeliner and lip gloss. riki, ever the supportive friend, offers words of encouragement, his reassuring presence helping to ease your jitters.

as you make your way downstairs, yuna calls out to you, her voice tinged with excitement. you take a deep breath and step into view, your heart pounding in your chest.

for a moment, everything seems to slow down as you catch riki's gaze. you notice the way his eyes widen in surprise, his breath catching in his throat. but just as quickly as it happened, he blinks, a mask of neutrality settling over his features.

you tear your gaze away from him, feeling a twinge of disappointment in your chest. you remind yourself that tonight is about you and your blind date, not about riki and his reaction.

"you look amazing, yn," yuna says, her eyes shining with pride.

"thanks, yuna," you reply, forcing a smile.

sunoo chimes in with a whistle, his grin widening. "yeah, you're going to knock his socks off."

you laugh nervously, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering at their words. you take a deep breath, pushing aside any lingering doubts or insecurities.

"thanks, guys," you say, your voice filled with gratitude. "wish me luck."

you hear the doorbell ring, signaling the arrival of your blind date, sunghoon. your heart skips a beat as you make your way to the door, nerves and excitement mingling inside you.

yuna bursts out in excitement, practically bouncing with joy. "he's here!" she exclaims, rushing past you to open the door.

sunoo follows closely behind, his excitement palpable. "can't wait to meet this guy!" he says, flashing you a thumbs up.

as yuna opens the door, you catch your first glimpse of sunghoon. he stands there, a shy smile on his face, looking just as nervous as you feel. but there's something about his demeanor that puts you at ease, and you can't help but return his smile.

"hi, I'm sunghoon," he says, extending his hand towards you.

"hi, I'm yn," you reply, shaking his hand.

yuna practically squeals with delight, ushering sunghoon inside. "come in, come in! we're so excited to have you here."

sunoo joins in, greeting sunghoon with a warm smile. "hey, man, nice to meet you. hope you're ready for a fun night."

as everyone gathers in the living room, you don't notice riki's subdued demeanor. there's a hint of something in his eyes. but he says nothing, keeping his feelings to himself as he watches you and sunghoon interact.

the evening flies by in a blur of laughter and conversation. yn and sunghoon find themselves lost in each other's company, their initial nerves melting away as they bond over shared interests and experiences.

yn and sunghoon's date unfolds like a scene from a romantic movie. they share stories and jokes, finding an instant connection that makes time fly by.

as they walk through the park, yn stumbles over a rock, nearly falling. sunghoon catches her by the arm, his touch sending a shiver down her spine.

"careful there," he says with a chuckle, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

yn blushes, grateful for his quick reflexes. "thanks for saving me," she replies, her cheeks flushing pink.

they find a cozy spot under a tree, the sunlight filtering through the leaves above them. sunghoon pulls out a blanket, spreading it out on the grass before sitting down beside yn.

"here, let's sit," he says, patting the space next to him.

yn smiles, joining him on the blanket. they sit close together, their shoulders brushing as they talk about their favorite books and movies.

as the sun begins to set, yn reaches into her bag and pulls out a small picnic she prepared earlier. sunghoon's eyes light up at the sight of the food, and he eagerly digs in.

"this is delicious," he says between bites, his mouth full of food.

yn laughs, handing him a napkin. "glad you like it. i wasn't sure what you'd enjoy, so i made a little bit of everything."

after they finish eating, yn pulls out her phone and starts playing some music. sunghoon smiles when he recognizes one of his favorite songs, and he grabs yn's hand, pulling her up to dance with him.

they sway to the music, their movements perfectly in sync. yn can't help but feel a rush of happiness as she twirls around with sunghoon, their laughter filling the air.

as the night draws to a close, sunghoon walks yn to her doorstep, a shy smile playing on his lips. he hesitates for a moment before speaking up.

"yn, tonight has been amazing," he says, his voice soft and sincere. "I feel like I've known you for much longer than just a few hours."

yn's heart flutters at his words, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. "I feel the same way, sunghoon," she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.

sunghoon takes a step closer, his eyes locking with yn's. "there's something I've been wanting to do all night," he says, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink.

yn's breath catches in her throat as she waits for him to continue. she can feel the anticipation building between them, the air crackling with tension.

"can I kiss you?" sunghoon asks, his voice barely a whisper.

yn's heart races at his question, her cheeks flushing with warmth. she nods, her lips curving into a shy smile.

sunghoon leans in slowly, his hand coming up to gently cup yn's cheek. their lips meet in a soft, tentative kiss, the world around them fading away as they lose themselves in the moment.

"so, how was the date?" yuna asks, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

yn can't help but smile as she recounts the evening's events, from the charming picnic in the park to the impromptu dance under the stars. she can feel her cheeks flushing with warmth as she remembers the way sunghoon's lips felt against hers, sending a flutter of excitement through her.

"and then, at the end of the night, he asked if he could kiss me," yn says, her voice tinged with excitement.

but before anyone can respond, riki suddenly gets up from his seat, his expression unreadable.

"uh, sorry guys, I just remembered that I need to see my girlfriend," he says hastily, his tone clipped.

yn watches in confusion as riki hurries out of the room, leaving the rest of the group exchanging puzzled glances.

"that was strange," sunoo remarks, breaking the awkward silence.

yn furrows her brow, feeling a sense of unease settle over her. she can't shake the feeling that there's something riki isn't telling them, something lurking beneath the surface of his sudden departure.

the group's focus shifts back to school and studies, with exams and assignments looming on the horizon. they spend long hours at the library, poring over textbooks and notes, helping each other understand difficult concepts and prepare for tests.

despite the pressures of school, yn finds herself looking forward to each day, her heart still fluttering from her magical date with sunghoon. she feels grateful for the support of her friends, who are always there to lend a helping hand or a listening ear whenever she needs it.

as the weeks pass, yn's relationship with sunghoon continues to blossom. they go on more dates, exploring new restaurants and attractions in the city, deepening their bond with each passing day.

meanwhile, riki keeps his distance, his interactions with yn becoming more and more rare. yn can't help but feel a pang of sadness at the growing distance between them, but she knows that sometimes, people drift apart, and there's nothing she can do to change that.

yn finally gathers the courage to confront riki about his distance. one afternoon, as they sit together in the cafeteria, she broaches the topic gently.

"hey, riki, i've noticed that we haven't been hanging out as much lately. is everything okay?" yn asks, her tone filled with concern.

riki hesitates for a moment before responding, a forced smile on his face. "oh, yeah, everything's fine. i've just been spending more time with my girlfriend lately, you know how it is."

yn nods, accepting his explanation at face value. she doesn't want to push him if he's not ready to open up, but she can't shake the feeling that there's something he's not telling her.

"of course, i understand," she replies, trying to sound casual.

but deep down, yn can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. she misses the easy camaraderie they used to share, the inside jokes and late-night conversations. she wonders if things will ever go back to how they were, or if their friendship has changed irrevocably.

despite her doubts, yn chooses to believe riki's words, pushing aside her concerns for the sake of their friendship.

riki sat by the window, the soft glow of the evening sun casting warm hues across the room. his mind was anything but peaceful. he couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling that had been gnawing at him for days. it all started innocently, just a casual encounter with yn at a local cafe. but now, it felt like a storm brewing within him.

he had a girlfriend, mina, whom he deeply cared for. they had been together for almost two years now, and she was his rock, his confidante. but lately, whenever he was around yn, something stirred inside him. it was a confusing mix of familiarity and attraction that he couldn't quite comprehend.

yn was an old friend, someone he had known since childhood. they had shared countless memories together, but their relationship had always been platonic. yet, as they caught up over coffee that day, riki couldn't ignore the subtle shifts in their conversation, the lingering gazes that lingered just a tad too long.

as he replayed their encounter in his mind, riki couldn't help but wonder if there was something more between them, something he had been blind to all these years. but the thought of betraying mina filled him with guilt and shame. she trusted him implicitly, and he couldn't bear to hurt her.

lost in his thoughts, riki didn't notice mina enter the room until she spoke his name softly. startled, he turned to face her, forcing a smile to his lips. but mina, ever perceptive, sensed his unease immediately.

"is everything okay, riki?" she asked, concern etched in her voice.

riki hesitated, unsure of how to articulate the turmoil raging inside him. but mina's gentle touch on his hand encouraged him to speak.

"i don't know, mina," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "i feel like… like i'm questioning things, things i thought i was certain of."

mina listened attentively as riki poured out his conflicted feelings, his heart heavy with guilt. when he finally fell silent, she reached out and cupped his face in her hands, her eyes filled with understanding.

"it's okay to have doubts, riki," she said softly. "but remember, what truly matters is how you choose to act on them. you have a choice, and whatever path you take, i'll be here for you."

her words offered him a sliver of solace amidst the chaos of his emotions. with a grateful smile, riki leaned into mina's embrace, feeling the weight of his doubts lift ever so slightly.

one lazy sunday afternoon, as sunghoon and you lounged on the sunlit balcony of your apartment, you suddenly perked up with an idea.

"you know what would be amazing?" you exclaimed, your eyes gleaming with excitement. "why don't we invite all our friends for a trip to the beachside?"

sunghoon's interest was immediately piqued as he turned to you, a grin spreading across his face. "that sounds like a fantastic idea! imagine all of us together, enjoying the sun, sand, and sea."

with your enthusiasm ignited, you wasted no time in gathering your laptops and diving into the task of planning the ultimate beach getaway. you started researching the best beach destinations, while sunghoon focused on finding accommodation options that could accommodate your group.

as you scrolled through countless travel websites and read reviews, you bounced ideas off each other, your excitement growing with each passing minute. you envisioned long days spent lounging on the beach, building sandcastles, and indulging in delicious seafood dinners as the sun dipped below the horizon.

after much deliberation, you finally settled on a picturesque beach resort that offered something for everyone—plenty of water sports for the adventurous, serene beachfront for the relaxation seekers, and vibrant nightlife for those who wanted to dance the night away.

with your destination chosen and accommodation booked, you wasted no time in sending out invitations to your friends. the response was overwhelmingly positive, with everyone eager to escape the hustle and bustle of city life for a few days of sun-soaked bliss.

with your enthusiasm ignited, you wasted no time in grabbing your phones and drafting a group text message to your friends. sunghoon leaned in eagerly, watching as you typed out the invitation.

"hey guys! ☀️🌊 we're planning a beach trip for spring break and would love for all of you to join us! 🏖️ let us know if you're in, and we'll start planning the details! 🎉"

with a tap of the send button, the message was on its way to jake, jungwon, riki, mina, sunoo, and yuna. you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement as you imagined the fun times ahead with your closest friends.

as you waited for their responses, sunghoon wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "this is going to be epic," he said with a grin, and you couldn't agree more.

the day had finally arrived, and the car was packed with excitement as sunghoon revved the engine, ready to hit the road. yn sat beside him in the passenger seat, the wind tousling her hair as she glanced back at their friends piled into the back seats.

"alright, everyone ready?" sunghoon called out, a grin on his face.

"let's do this!" yn cheered, turning up the music.

as they pulled out of the driveway, the convoy of cars behind them, the group erupted into cheers and laughter. jake, sitting in the back, leaned forward, shouting, "sunghoon, don't make this a slow drive! we've got a beach waiting for us!"

sunghoon chuckled, glancing at yn. "you heard him, time to put the pedal to the metal!"

the music blared, and soon everyone was singing along, their voices merging into a cacophony of joy. jungwon, sitting in the back, started a game of "name that tune" with riki, while mina and yuna joined in, trying to guess the songs.

"i bet i can guess the next song within the first three seconds," sunoo declared confidently from the back seat.

"you're on!" yn exclaimed, turning up the volume even more.

as they drove, the banter and laughter continued, filling the car with a sense of camaraderie and adventure. sunghoon couldn't help but steal glances at yn, her smile lighting up her face, and he felt a surge of gratitude for these moments with his friends.

after a while on the road, the chatter in the car had settled into smaller conversations. riki found himself drifting into his own thoughts, his gaze wandering over the passing scenery. but no matter how hard he tried to focus on the conversation with mina, his attention kept being drawn to sunghoon and yn in the front seats.

sunghoon's hand rested casually on yn's knee, and every now and then, they would exchange a glance, a smile passing between them that spoke volumes. riki couldn't help but feel a pang of envy as he watched them, the easy affection between them reminding him of what he wished he had with mina.

shaking off the feeling, riki turned to mina, forcing a smile. "hey, babe, what do you think about stopping for some snacks at the next rest area?"

mina's attention had also been on sunghoon and yn, but she turned to riki with a smile, nodding in agreement. "sure, sounds good. i could go for some chips and soda."

as they continued their journey, riki made a conscious effort to engage more with mina, asking about her day and sharing stories from work. but every now and then, his gaze would drift back to sunghoon and yn, their laughter and whispered conversations a constant reminder of what he longed for.

deep down, riki knew that he needed to focus on his own relationship and cherish what he had with mina. but as they drove on, the lingering feeling of longing tugged at his heart, leaving him wondering if he would ever find the kind of love that sunghoon and yn shared.

at the rest stop, riki stepped out of the car, hoping the fresh air would clear his mind. he knew he needed to shake off the envy he felt towards sunghoon and yn, but it seemed to cling to him like a stubborn shadow.

as they walked towards the convenience store, riki found himself gravitating towards mina, slipping his arm around her waist. he hoped that by showing affection towards her, he could distract himself from the thoughts swirling in his mind.

mina glanced up at riki, surprised by his sudden display of affection, but she smiled warmly and leaned into his embrace. "everything okay, riki?" she asked softly.

"yeah, just wanted to be close to you," riki replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

meanwhile, yn observed the couple with a knowing smile, her eyes meeting sunghoon's briefly before she nudged him playfully. "look at them, aren't they adorable?" she remarked, gesturing towards riki and mina.

sunghoon followed her gaze, his lips curving into a fond smile as he watched riki and mina. "yeah, they really are," he agreed, a hint of amusement in his voice.

as they strolled towards the store, yuna and jake exchanged a glance, both noticing riki's unusual behavior. jake nudged yuna subtly, nodding towards riki and mina.

"do you think riki's okay?" jake whispered, furrowing his brows in concern.

yuna bit her lip, her gaze lingering on riki for a moment before turning back to jake. "i'm not sure. he seems a bit off, doesn't he? do you think he's regretting something?"

jake shrugged, his expression thoughtful. "maybe. remember when riki rejected yn a while back? could be that it's hitting him now."

yuna frowned, her mind racing with possibilities. "but he's with mina now. surely he wouldn't be dwelling on that, right?"

jake shrugged again, uncertainty clouding his features. "who knows? let's keep an eye on him, just in case."

as they browsed the aisles of the store, jake subtly veered towards riki, finding a moment when they were momentarily alone.

"hey, riki," jake began softly, his tone laced with concern. "is everything alright?"

riki glanced up, caught off guard by jake's question. he hesitated for a moment before nodding, a forced smile on his lips. "yeah, everything's fine. just tired from the drive, i guess."

jake studied riki's expression, sensing there was more to it than just fatigue. "are you sure? you seem a bit off today. is there something on your mind?"

riki shifted uncomfortably, his gaze flickering away for a moment before returning to jake. "it's nothing, really. just some stuff i've been thinking about."

jake's concern deepened, but he didn't push further, respecting riki's privacy. instead, he offered a reassuring smile. "well, if you ever want to talk about it, i'm here, okay? we're all here for you."

riki managed a grateful smile, touched by jake's gesture of support. "thanks, jake. i appreciate it."

as the group arrived at the rented beach house, excitement bubbled among them like the waves crashing against the shore. sunghoon and the boys quickly offered to bring in the girls' suitcases, a gesture of chivalry that wasn't lost on anyone.

riki's eyes darted towards yn as he rushed to her side, eager to offer his assistance. but before he could reach her, yn smiled warmly and waved him off, insisting that sunghoon had it covered. sunoo and yuna exchanged knowing glances, sensing the tension in the air, but mina remained oblivious to riki's internal struggle.

"thanks, riki, but sunghoon's got this," yn reassured him, her voice gentle but firm.

riki nodded, his heart sinking slightly at the rejection, but he plastered on a smile and turned towards mina. "no problem, i can help you with yours," he offered, hoping to distract himself from the sting of disappointment.

mina beamed at him, grateful for his offer, and together they headed towards the car to retrieve her suitcase. as they walked, riki couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered within him, wondering why he felt so unsettled by yn's rejection. but for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy their beachside getaway to the fullest.

inside the beach house, the sounds of laughter and excitement filled the air as the group settled in. yn and jake found themselves in the kitchen, working together to prepare lunch while the others explored the house.

as they chopped vegetables and stirred pots on the stove, jake couldn't help but feel the weight of the conversation he wanted to have with yn about riki. he cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully.

"so, um, yn," jake began tentatively, his eyes focused on the cutting board in front of him. "i couldn't help but notice that riki seemed a bit… off earlier. do you think everything's okay with him?"

yn glanced up from her task, pausing for a moment before setting down her knife. she met jake's gaze, her expression thoughtful. "yeah, i noticed that too," she admitted, her voice tinged with concern. "i'm not sure what's going on with him. he seemed fine before, but now…"

jake nodded, relieved that yn shared his observations. "do you think we should talk to him about it? maybe see if he wants to open up?"

yn considered for a moment before nodding in agreement. "yeah, that might be a good idea. it's always good to check in with each other, especially when something seems off."

with a shared sense of determination, yn and jake continued their meal preparations, but their conversation lingered on riki, both of them silently hoping that they could offer him the support he needed.

finding a secluded spot away from the others, sunghoon approached riki with a gentle demeanor, a concerned expression etched on his face. he knew he needed to broach the delicate topic with sensitivity, aware of the potential impact it could have on their friendship.

"hey, riki," sunghoon began softly, his voice carrying the weight of his concern. "i wanted to chat with you for a moment, if that's okay."

riki looked up, surprised by sunghoon's approach, but he nodded, sensing the seriousness in his friend's tone. "yeah, sure. what's on your mind?"

sunghoon took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "i've noticed that you've seemed a bit… preoccupied lately, especially around yn," he started cautiously. "and i just wanted to check in with you, see how you're doing."

riki's expression tensed slightly, a flicker of discomfort crossing his features. "i'm fine, really," he replied quickly, but sunghoon could sense the underlying unease in his friend's voice.

sunghoon sighed softly, his gaze gentle yet firm. "look, riki, i know things might feel a bit complicated, especially with the history between you and yn," he continued, choosing his words carefully. "but you need to know that both of us have girlfriends now, and yn has moved on. she's with me."

riki's shoulders slumped, a mixture of relief and sadness washing over him. "i know," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "i guess… i guess i just needed to hear it."

sunghoon placed a reassuring hand on riki's shoulder, offering him a supportive smile. "it's okay to have feelings, riki. but it's important to respect boundaries and focus on the present. we're all here for you, okay?"

despite sunghoon's compassionate words and riki's own understanding of the situation, the confusion swirling within him refused to dissipate entirely. riki found himself caught in a tumult of emotions, torn between his lingering feelings for yn and the commitment he had to respect the boundaries of her relationship with sunghoon, as well as his own relationship with mina.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #engene #enha #enhypen x reader #nishimura riki #ni ki #riki nishimura x reader #enhypen riki #riki x reader #riki fluff

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