#look at that proud nervous energy i wanna squeeze his face and kiss his nose

[crawley-fell]

The farthing...has vanished.

#he's so cute im going to eat my own hands #look at that proud nervous energy i wanna squeeze his face and kiss his nose #good omens #gomens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #aziraphale fell #mr fell #michael sheen #my gifs

[xiaomomowrites]

marcid

Haikyuu | Sakuatsu

marcid (adj) incredibly exhausted, withered

Summary:  It’s interesting how far they’ve come, Kiyoomi assesses. Touching used to make Kiyoomi feel like a wall had been breached, and the slightest amount of contact would make the alarm bells in his head ring until his ears bled. Now, it brings him comfort. Now, every touch (only) from Atsumu brings him back down to Earth when it felt like he had wandered in his head for too long. It brings warmth back to his fingertips and makes his entire body blush.

I really wanna post this on ao3 but,,,,I have no idea how it works :o but it will be up!! I’ll update this once it’s settled hehe~

But you can find it here!

A/N: I missed writing SO MUCH. I took a long time off to focus on a lot of other things like school and my career choices, and once I got that more or less figured out, I took even more time rediscovering my writing voice. As you know, I’ve fallen deep into the Haikyuu fandom and now, I am nothing but a mere sakuatsu bot. Seriously I can feel them rotting my brain. It’s all I think about. This is a cry for help

This is also WAY fluffier content than I usually write, and when I wrote this, it was my first time characterizing either of them so please bear with me if you disagree with any of it. Feel free to let me know what you think! But of course any kind of abrasive negativity will be blocked ;) no one needs that energy haha. That being said, I honestly really liked writing this and I hope you enjoy a little too~ -u.n.

--

“Omi-omi,” Atsumu drawls, flopping onto his bed donned in fresh clothes after a long-awaited shower. The game against the Adlers had been a long and incredibly grueling battle, but thankfully it wasn’t for naught. It was by the grace of God alone, and maybe Bokuto’s final blow, that they managed to pull themselves to victory. Regardless, Atsumu’s shoulders and neck throbbed from the countless sets he had performed today, and even the slightest movement had him groaning in discomfort to his roommate.

“What,” Kiyoomi responds flatly. 

“Shoulders hurt,” he pouts up to the ceiling, “I could use one of yer killer massages.” The blond cranes his neck to look back at his spiker, sending one of his signature give-me-what-I-want grins his way. He sticks his tongue out for good measure. Kiyoomi only narrows his eyes at him for interrupting his reading.

“I’m tired, too, Miya.” Kiyoomi turned his attention back to the book in his lap and desperately tried to find the words he dropped off before Atsumu started talking again. 

“Pleaseee Omi-kun,” Atsumu drags out the rancid nickname even longer this time in a futile attempt to make it sound cute. The raven does not budge, and Atsumu simply pouts with even more vigor. He huffs, being one of the only few people who explicitly know of Kiyoomi’s stubbornness. But alas, Atsumu was just as stubborn. It’s what made them such a great couple. Kinda.

Atsumu hauls himself up from the plush comforters the hotel so kindly provides and pads over- not forgetting to slide his feet into his slippers first- to Kiyoomi’s bed before starfishing in the same manner he had done before. Except this time, his head lands directly in Kiyoomi’s lap so the spiker has no choice but to look down at him. Bingo. He looks at him with hazy eyes laced with exhaustion. But then Kiyoomi looks down at him with the same expression, and Atsumu begins to reconsider bothering him in the first place. 

Much to Atsumu’s surprise, Kiyoomi closes his book quietly and places it on the bedside table. He leans down to press a chaste kiss to Atsumu’s forehead before nudging him to sit. “Up,” is all he says. 

Atsumu complies, shocked. “Wait, really?”

Kiyoomi does not look amused. “You’ve been pestering me for the past fifteen minutes, are you just now deciding to back down?”

“No, please, I feel like my arms are gonna fall off,” he rushes to explain, “I just, y’know. Ya look tired, didn’t expect ya to agree.”

Kiyoomi sighs. “I can spare five minutes. Now turn around before I change my mind.” Atsumu obeys. 

The raven brings his hands up to his shoulders, gliding up and squeezing lightly before resting at the junction between his neck and shoulder. It’s interesting how far they’ve come, Kiyoomi assesses. Touching used to be his trigger, the one of many things that would make his skin crawl and break out into hives, and suddenly make it feel like the walls were closing in at an alarming speed. Touching used to make Kiyoomi feel like a wall had been breached, and the slightest amount of contact would make the alarm bells in his head ring until his ears bled. 

Now, it brings him comfort. Now, every touch (only) from Atsumu brings him back down to Earth when it felt like he had wandered in his head for too long. It brings warmth back to his fingertips and makes his entire body blush. The slightest touch of skin to skin will make his heart pound a little faster in a way that Kiyoomi never thought would be good, and it never fails to remind him of the times they would spend together when not a single inch of skin wasn’t in contact with the other. During those times, Kiyoomi remembers vividly, it was hard to tell when one stopped and the other began. He didn't mind it one bit.

That being said, Kiyoomi digs his thumbs into the muscle and listens carefully to how his setter reacts. As he expected, Atsumu groans loudly and flinches slightly at the first squeeze, but relaxes almost instantly when he remembers this is supposed to feel good. Kiyoomi releases his grip, moves his hands down further, and squeezes again. Rinse and repeat. 

In a matter of seconds, Atsumu is putty in his hands. His head rolls back to rest on his boyfriend’s shoulder and shivers when Kiyoomi bows at the neck to nuzzle his face into his throat. He noses up behind the hook of Atsumu’s jaw and presses a feather-light kiss there. He squeezes again, then releases. His hands move on their own down to his deltoids and squeezes this time with the entirety of his palm instead of just his fingers.

Atsumu lets out a noise that could easily be mistaken for a moan. Kiyoomi rolls his eyes and ignores the sudden curl of heat in his abdomen, but it seems as though the blond had already picked up on the change in atmosphere. 

“Kiyoomi,” he calls out, voice raspy.

“Hm?” he responds lazily, still nosing at his neck. 

“I love you.”

Kiyoomi stills. 

Six months into their relationship and Atsumu had beaten him to it first. Just as he did with confessing, just as he did with taking them on a first date, and just as he did initiating skinship first. Kiyoomi tuts, tired of losing.

“Don’t just say things like that, idiot.” Kiyoomi does his best to scowl and appear angry, but the bright red that had spread across his face and down to his neck said otherwise. He releases Atsumu from his grip and lets them fall to his side, watching as the blond hauls himself up and turns around. Kiyoomi frowns. “Go back to your bed, heathen.”

Atsumu grins, teasing. “Aw, ya don’t love me back, Omi-omi? Yer words hurt, they really do. How could ya leave a man like this, huh? After I bare my heart to ya-”

“I love you, too.” Kiyoomi wills himself to say. This time, it’s Atsumu’s turn to freeze up. Serves him right for being such a smug bastard. 

“Wait, really?”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that.”

“Omi-kun!” Atsumu suddenly yells, making Kiyoomi scowl further, “Ya love me too!” 

His boyfriend definitely looks unimpressed. “Yes. Lower your voice.”

“This is a big deal!” he hollers.

“Did you really not expect me to feel the same way?” Kiyoomi raises one eyebrow, suddenly doubtful of himself. 

“Well,” Atsumu quickly looks abashed, “I just didn’t think ya would say it outright like that, y’know? Figured ya would say somethin’ more like ‘shut up, asshole’ and it would be up to me to translate that to an ‘I love ya, too, ‘Tsumu’.”

“I will, if that’s what you want.” he teases.

“No! I like it when ya say it outright. It suits ya.” Atsumu grins, falling forward a bit and feeling proud that Kiyoomi doesn’t lean back or flinch. 

“It suits me to say that I love you directly?” Kiyoomi deadpans. Atsumu blushes a bright red at the words again. 

“Yeah, it’s… nice ta hear.”

Silence falls over the duo and suddenly, Atsumu doesn’t really know what to do with his hands. He settles on shuffling with his fingers, picking at his nails and pushing at his cuticles. A nervous tick that Kiyoomi had picked up on during their time together. It’s Kiyoomi who breaks the silence first with a snort.

“Charming,” he starts, and covers Atsumu’s hands with his own. “But I’ll be sure to say it more often, then.”

“Omiii,” he whines, clearly red and embarrassed at the sudden display of affection, “ya can’t keep being this nice, yer gonna make me love you even more and that’s unfair.”

“I can stop.” There he goes again with his deadpanning. Atsumu opens his mouth most likely to complain or whine once again, but Kiyoomi decides that they’ve done enough talking. He leans in slightly and uses the hold he has on his boyfriend’s hands to pull him the rest of the way and have their lips meet in the middle. Kiyoomi smiles into the kiss. He loves him endlessly.

Atsumu lurches into the kiss so much so that Kiyoomi has to catch him as he falls backwards, getting straddled by six feet and eighty kilograms of pure enthusiasm. Kiyoomi breaks the kiss, laughing lightly. “Oh my god, calm down.”

“Can’t,” he rushes to kiss him again, “M’too excited now.”

He closes the distance between them once again with the same level of enthusiasm as Hinata and Bokuto talking about volleyball. Any lesser man would have crumpled with the amount of force he used, but this was Kiyoomi he was with. This was the only other man in the world other than Miya Osamu himself that could contain Atsumu. He kisses back with the same level of ferocity and grips firmly at the meat on Atsumu’s hip, tugging him forward and impossibly closer. The blond lets out a desperate kind of noise before rocking his hips forward, wringing out a noise from Kiyoomi not even he was sure he could make. The raven broke the kiss in favor of oxygen, but the blond was relentless. He dipped down and trailed his lips down his neck, across his Adam's apple, and to the patch of skin right underneath the hook of Kiyoomi’s jaw. Atsumu laps at his skin with his tongue before sucking a harsh hickey into it. Kiyoomi gasps and can only tip his head back to give Atsumu more space to work. They’re not sure how long they stay like that, or how long they’re rocking against each other until they’re both half-hard, but it’s only when Atsumu demands another kiss with too much tongue that Kiyoomi pulls away. He doesn’t grimace at the string of saliva that falls between them.

Atsumu falls back down to his neck and Kiyoomi groans, aroused, but so incredibly tired he just can’t do anything about it. 

“‘Tsumu,” he breathes. Atsumu, predictably, doesn’t listen. He keeps pressing kisses and lapping at his neck like his life depended on it. “Baby, god, give me a sec.” 

“Sorry,” the blond mutters, and presses a final kiss to his cheek before pressing his face in his neck and nuzzling. Atsumu’s arms come to wind around Kiyoomi’s neck, who eagerly reciprocates by placing a  hand on the small of his back, a reassuring pressure to remind him he’s there. 

“I would,” Kiyoomi begins to explain, “trust me, I would, but I’m so fucking tired.”

“I know, me too.” Atsumu agrees, and slides off his boyfriend in favor of the space next to him. “You love me,” he suddenly remembers, smiling so wide he has to turn away lest he embarrass himself any further. “You love me.”

“Yeah,” Kiyoomi sighs, but it’s nothing like his usual exasperated sigh. It’s more content, satisfied. “I do.”

#haikyuu #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #msby #black jackals #schweiden adlers #jackals v schweiden #atsusaku #all the possible ship names for these two assholes #ive seen their ship name be MASK lmao #its their initials #i thought it was really clever #fanfiction #haikyuufanficiton #sakuatsu brainrot

[kim-seungmine]

dream the night away

title: dream the night away

characters: (fem) reader x hwang hyunjin of stray kids

genre: slice-of-life, romance, angst, best friends to lovers au, idol au, idol!hyunjin, hyunjin centric, inspired by 3racha’s cloud 9 but not really?

warnings: minor character death, sometimes heavy, slow burn (aka i wanted it to be but i wasn’t patient enough), i tried to proofread, i gave up trying to format text convo on tumblr, i think they kiss a lot.

word count: 11.6k i’m so sorry

synopsis: one night, hyunjin wonders how he long can stay floating on cloud 9 before he loses his balance and falls all the way down to the pits of hell. After that, nothing feels right.

disclaimer: this is idol!hyunjin so i just wanna say that this is not how hyunjin is in real life and im not trying to convince you that he feels the things in the story. some parts are inspired by the things they’ve said but everything that happens here is pure fiction... which actually goes without saying since this is a fanfic, but i just feel the need to say it. for my personal long ass author’s note, you can read it below.

Hyunjin is met with darkness when he steps into the dorm. It used to be more packed, it used to be messier, and it used to be really loud. Now he only shares the dorm with the 00z who are surprisingly quiet if you think about it. Seungmin sleeps early, Felix has his headphones stuck to his ears and plays games until the sun rises, and Jisung is snugged somewhere watching movies. On busier days, Seungmin and Felix are at the company for lessons and Jisung spends the night at the studio with Chan and Changbin. Hyunjin, meanwhile, usually has some photoshoots.

However, tonight feels unnaturally quiet, especially since Hyunjin has just won his first Bonsang as a solo artist. He switches the lights on, and his friends are soundlessly huddled together by the fridge, Jisung holding a small cake.

“Surprise!” Seungmin exclaims rather flatly as Hyunjin drops to the floor out of shock, shouting profanities. Felix proceeds to grab some candles from the kitchen counter and lights them up. “Come on, blow the candles."

Hyunjin lets out an amused sigh, rising to his feet before blowing all the candles out. “Please tell me these aren’t those candles that stay lit n—what the hell.”

He continues blowing, his friends giggling while Seungmin groans. “Why did you have to curse? I was about to post that on Instagram Story!”

“Why are we doing this anyways? We’re not 18 anymore,” Hyunjin protests half-heartedly. He can’t really remember the last time they gave each other a proper surprise. It feels like ages ago. Jisung scoffs, searching for a knife inside one of the kitchen drawers. Slicing the cake, he retorts, “Your dramatic ass loves surprises, stop denying it.”

“Anyone has anything to do tonight? The hyungs want to come over,” Felix informs while typing on his phone. Hyunjin’s vibrates after a few seconds; everyone on the Stray Kids group chat must be congratulating him.

Seungmin opens the chat, frowning. “Where’s Jeongin?”

“He hasn’t been replying since hours ago. That brat probably fell asleep. Just ask his bro if he’s home,” Hyunjin suggests, about to reply to Chan’s message when another message pops up.

y/n: sorry i couldnt watch the show

y/n: but i saw the news! congratulations!!

y/n: so proud of you, as always!

Hyunjin’s eyes light up at your messages. It’s been months since he saw you; he’s been busy with his solo debut and you’ve been busy with school. When both of you were children, you often pictured how life would be. Hyunjin would be a famous soccer player for Manchester United and the captain of South Korea national team. You would be studying to become a doctor.

He finds it funny that you’re doing the exact same thing while he’s doing something he never even imagined before. Hyunjin is always amazed at how well you planned your whole life and executed every single plan, albeit not always instantly.

After all these years, though, he dares to say that both of you turned out okay. Amazing, even.

“Order whatever you want. I’m eating outside but I’ll be back soon,” Hyunjin tells his friends, bombarding you with messages before you turn your phone off, the thing you always do when you’re about to cram.

Seungmin arches an eyebrow. “Y/N?”

“Yeah. I asked whether she wants to eat gopchang with me.”

“You should really be careful.”

“Everyone knows we’re best friends. No one will make a weird rumor or anything.”

Jisung clicks his tongue. “Well, do you?”

Whenever someone talks about you, it always leads to this very conversation. Hyunjin decides to let Jisung’s question (sarcasm) hang in the air, but he knows the answer. Yes, he knows you and him are just best friends. Does he like it that way?

Hyunjin knows the answer to that too. He only pretends that he doesn’t.

You’re already slurping your soup when Hyunjin says hi to the restaurant owners, Mr and Mrs. Jang. “Oh Hyunjinnie, I just watched you on TV. You won something, right?” he asks. His wife ushers him to sit down, putting extra servings of kimchi on the table.

“Why didn’t I get extra kimchi?” You pout, shooting a jealous glare at Hyunjin who’s busy explaining what a Bonsang is to the owners.

“You did a good job, then,” Mrs. Jang coos. “You don’t need to pay today. It’s on us!”

You quickly put your spoon down. “What about me? I barely sleep thesedays, and I’m not as rich as Hyunjin!”

“Aigoo, you started eating before your friend came then demand for free food. You’re lucky we love you as much as we love Hyunjin.”

The couple laugh at your reaction, jokingly scolding you for being whinier than Hyunjin when it used to be the other way around. He smiles, remembering all the times he forced you to eat his eggplants for him and the times when he begged you to help him study because he needed to beat all of his friends.

“Eat,” you scowl. “You only have half an hour to brag. I have a night shift.”

Out of the times you’re being petty towards him, you were only seriously petty once: when he beat your English score in ninth grade although you were the one teaching him. He had to bribe you with a week’s worth of Haribo jellies before you stopped ignoring him.

Hyunjin giggles. “When’s your exam? Tomorrow?”

“Next week,” you whine. “But I have so many things to do! And I think someone stole my notes, I can’t seem to find them anywhere. Do you even understand half the pain I’m going through right now? All I need is one solid hour of sleep.”

“Hmm,” he hums. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

You widen your eyes, eyeing Hyunjin from head to toe. “Sometimes I forget you’re Stray Kids’ Hyunjin.”

He pretends to stab himself on the chest. “That h-hurts,” he fake-groans. “Then who do you think I am?”

“My neighbor,” you answer. “—who doesn’t even live at home anymore.”

“To be fair, you’re practically holed in hospital now.”

“Yeah but I go home every two weeks? You go home twice a year.”

“Excuse me?! I went home on your birthday… in the middle of a tour! I could’ve been sleeping or practicing, but I came home!”

He always “argues” with you until both of you are out of breath, clutching your chests because it somehow feels hilarious. You drink the last few drops of the soup right from your bowl, setting it back on the table and empty your glass in one go.

“I don’t have enough energy for this,” you sigh dreamily, prepping your head on your arm. “Tell me about everything. Your first Bonsang.”

Hyunjin can still hear his fans’ voices chanting his name and cheering for him as he delivered his speech while sobbing (this is what he hates from solo promotions, nobody else is there to stop him from crying or taking over the mic from him so he could calm himself down). He remembers every single word he said and the proud faces of his fellow artists. The thrill, the triumph, the satisfaction, the love… it’s making him emotional all over again.

He grabs a tissue to blow his nose. “I was surprised when the company said that I was invited. Our group hasn’t made a comeback this year, and although my song did chart quite well, I never expected they would even invite me.”

“They gave me a 5-minute stage! I was so happy, I sent you my rehearsal videos, right?”

You nod, imitating one of the moves in his dance break.

“Everything was even more amazing on stage, with Stays watching me. I think I was possessed during the performance… I was goddamn nervous though.”

“Yeah, I watched it on the way here. You kept licking your lip, I don’t care if your fans think that’s hot. To me you’re just a nervous mess…”

Hyunjin has started to pout when you add, “… who did a very great job nevertheless! It’s just that I’ve known you so long. You can’t hide anything from me.”

He notices how you’re holding your breath, waiting for him to respond. After years, Hyunjin thought he would take negative comments much less seriously, but apparently it didn’t become easier. It became harder, so hard that he had to take a 3-month hiatus last year.

With you, everything is different. You can tell him that he sucks big time and he’ll take it seriously, but he never gets offended. There are a lot of times when people treat him like he’s made of glass (or a snowflake, Seungmin once said), but you treat him the way you’ve always treated him and he loves it. None of his other friends understands, but your honesty is priceless. It’s what keeps him going; he knows you’ll never cherish him less no matter what you say about the way he dances and raps, or the way he looks and behaves. And he’s sure that his honesty also means the world to you. You are each other’s toughest critic, but it will never change anything.

“Hyunjin.” You place your hand over his, eyes wide. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out of my mouth.”

He chuckles, flipping his palm to squeeze your hand. “You idiot. You just stated the facts.”

You squeeze his hand back before pulling away. “I’m looking at Hwang Hyunjin of Stray Kids who sold over 100.000 copies of his first solo album, who won Bonsang for the first time, who gets worshiped by everyone he locks eyes with—except for me of course. I’m a very proud friend.”

“Stop it.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, but unable to hide his smile once he sees you grinning like a happy child. “How much time do we have left?”

You glance at your phone, sighing when a reminder for you to study pops up. “5 minutes. I have to go back to the hospital soon.”

“Can you even study during your shift?”

“I have to,” you mumble. “Anyways, thanks for dragging me out. I did miss you after all.”

“I missed you too,” Hyunjin says, probably too quick for his own good but he doesn’t regret it.

“I’ll be going now.” You stretch your limbs, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. “Any last words before I go to war?”

“I should be the one asking you that.”

“Oh, right.”

Chan is the only one awake by the time Hyunjin gets back home. He huffs in regret, knowing that the hyungs decided to stay over to celebrate his Bonsang win. The leader greets him with a bear hug, carefully avoiding Felix and Minho who are fast asleep on the floor. “We’re so happy for you!” he whisper-yells. “How was Y/N?”

Hyunjin returns his hug with an even tighter one. “Thanks hyung. You composed the song after all! And sorry I came back too late.”

Chan shakes his head. “Nah, it’s fine. At some point we forgot why we were here and just started playing mafia.”

“Y/N is fine, anyways, just tired.”

“She’s always tired, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. It turns out that medical students are probably more tired than us.”

Hyunjin leads Chan to his bedroom. Each of the 00z has their own bedroom now. It’s much more convenient and they can arrange their stuff however they want to (they avoid entering Jisung’s room as much as possible), but Hyunjin misses the mess at times. The old dorm was cramped, either too hot or too cold, and way too noisy, but it was home for quite a long time.

Chan seems to be having the same thought. “We miss you kiddos sometimes,” he laughs. “But we fixed that sliding door. It closes properly now.”

“As long as Changbin hyung keeps opening it with too much force it will be broken again in no time. Trust me.”

Both of them are lying on Hyunjin’s king size bed, staring at the sideboard table he dedicates for his music show—and now, music award—trophies. “The kids don’t really say it but they’re all so proud of you. I’m proud of you. I raised you well, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you kinda did.”

“Kinda?!”

“I’m joking.” Hyunjin scrunches his nose. “You raised all of us. We raised Jeongin. And we raised each other.”

“3racha are almost finished choosing the final songs, you have 2 weeks to relax then we’ll start production right away. Our next tour won’t start until May, so we have plenty of time to prepare everything.”

“Ohhhhh I can feel my bones breaking already. We’re getting old,” Hyunjin whines.

Chan pats his thighs, cracking his knuckles before jumping out of bed. “You’re getting old,” he teases.

“I’m glad, though. Everything finally works out the way we wanted to. I guess we can say that we’re doing well now, right?”

Chan doesn’t wait for Hyunjin to answer and leaves the room right away. The latter ponders the rhetorical question for a while, recalling the goals they have reached for the past few years. Entering the Melon chart (and staying on Top 20 for a week), having one of the most successful world tour, winning prestigious awards at prestigious music awards, 3racha getting acknowledged as the industry’s top composers, 00z winning music shows for their unit debut last year, Jeongin getting drama roles, and last but not least, Hyunjin’s successful solo debut.

Feeling nostalgic, he scrolls through his phone, looking at old photos and silly videos. Looking at the lyrics he wrote on his note app. Then he goes through @realstraykids’ posts on Instagram, from when Jeongin still had braces until tonight. The latest selcas on his own official account are still getting likes, the fans showering him with praises.

Hyunjin has ticked off everything from his wish list. He has reached every goal he set a few years ago. They are doing well. He’s doing well.

He looks at his surroundings, immersing himself in the space and peace of his room that he once craved desperately. He’s supposed to be at peace now, but his mind won’t stop buzzing, asking himself what to do next.

For the very first time, Hyunjin realizes that he’s now floating on Cloud 9. Everything is perfect, he’s living his dream life. But at the back of his head, he can hear the clock ticking, ready to push him over the edge the moment he loses his balance, watching him fall all the way to the pits of hell.

Everything is perfect, but why does his heart feel so empty?

Hyunjin’s brows furrow as he tries to catch some comments the fans are posting. When he was a rookie he couldn’t get used to how fast the comments come in, and it’s something that doesn’t quite change. Probably he got used to it at some point, but they kept gaining fans that the comment section is always extremely active.

“Hyunjin oppa,” he pronounces the words slowly. ”Spo-spoiler please!”

He lifts his head to give the viewers a secretive smile. “Nope.” He wiggles his forefinger. “You have to wait for the teasers!”

“Ohhh the comments! You guys are so excited I can’t keep up!”

More comments flood in, and Hyunjin has to press his phone screen in order to read the one comment he’s been trying to read. “Recommend me a song, please!”

“Uhhh—” He takes some time to think of the songs he’s been listening to, tapping his fingers against the surface of the table while the comments keep coming in, but this time he spots words that stab him right on his gut. With trembling hands, he lifts his phone, clicking the report button as subtle as possible. His vision grows blurry as he reports every single comment that has the word “fuck you”, “die” or “talentless” in it.

The pause has become too long and too awkward, so he stops himself from reporting more and stares at the lens. “Ah, song recommendation!” he exclaims. “I have quite a lot but thesedays I’ve been listening to 00z songs a lot. We had so much fun promoting together.”

Hyunjin feels his other phone vibrating in his pocket, probably his mother checking in. It gives him a boost of energy, and he tells his fans he’ll stay with them for 10 more minutes. “When we’re just talking like this, I’m always reminded that we’ve come so far,” Hyunjin says, a smile on his face. “It feels good to know that all of you are making time for us, for me, after your busy day. And no, I’m not sleepy. Don’t worry, everyone!”

He reads some more comments, mostly cheesy pickup lines to cheer himself up as his brain is still trying to get all the hurtful words out of his system. “Ah, I think I have to go now,” Hyunjin announces lowly. “I have to go back to practice, if not Chan hyung will barge in and drag me back to the practice room.”

“What? You want me to get scolded by Chan hyung? Why are you so mean?!”

Hyunjin ends up staying for 20 more minutes before finally ending the broadcast. Conversation with his fans is something he values a lot; it gives him strength and makes him laugh. It makes him feel loved and he wants his fans to feel the same.

But it’s equally tiring. He has to brace himself for some less-than-nice comments, sometimes they are way too severe for him to handle that the company sues all the commenters. You’ve told him over and over again that those people aren’t his fans.

Everything could’ve been worse. Hyunjin still considers himself very lucky that he has much more fans than haters. Still, he often imagines how it will feel if he has no hater at all, since he does have some friends who seem to only hear pretty words.

Hyunjin stays inside the room for a few more minutes, replying to Seungmin’s messages and assures him that he’ll be back soon. He idly plays one of their songs he hasn’t heard for years, the song that was always included in their setlist before being replaced by some other songs. Hyunjin initially thought he wouldn’t need that song anymore, but tonight, he needs it. Maybe he needs it more now than before.

After making a mental note to ask the other boys to add the song back to the concert’s setlist, Hyunjin leaves, cursing himself for taking too much time to regain his composure.

Should I stop or not? Should I give up or not?

“Hwang Hyunjin, stop coming into my room without my permission! You literally trespassed into someone else’s property!”

Hyunjin groans into his pillow, instantly regretting his decision to pick up your call at midnight. “I didn’t!”

“Don’t lie to me. You took Gureum with you!”

He takes a quick glance at the rabbit plushie he placed on top of his pillow. Last night, he did go home because Kkami (everyone calls him old man now) got a little sick. “I miiiiight have made a quick detour next door when I was about to leave.”

“You’re pathetic. You got soooooo many plushies and toys and cute headbands from fansigns and you stole my Gureum.”

“Stop guilt tripping me! I missed Gureum, okay? Why didn’t you take him to your dorm?”

Hyunjin senses your hesitation as you clear your throat. “Well, sometimes seeing Gureum only makes me miss everyone more, so I just left him at home.”

Now he feels guilty. Your parents are currently staying overseas to take care of your sick little sister. He pictures you coming to an empty home every two weeks, exhausted and not having anyone to welcome you.

“Do you want me to come over?”

“Our superstar isn’t busy?”

“I am, but I’m willing to sacrifice my precious time for my best friend.”

You scoff over the phone, but telling him to hurry up before ending the call. Hyunjin packs his clothes and toiletries, along with Gureum—his birthday present for your 11th birthday. You almost never sleep without it, yet the plushie still looks brand new.

Unable to hide his smitten smile, Hyunjin grabs his keys.

The apartment complex where Hyunjin lives has changed a lot over the years. The soccer field he used to play at is now a playground. The little bookstore you loved so much is now a bakery. Now there’s a big shopping mall right across the building. After saving up for a while, Hyunjin asked his parents whether they wanted to move to a bigger place. He kind of hoped that they wouldn’t want it because he wanted to stay close to you (although coming home is a real challenge for him). Luckily, his parents said no.

He enters your door password leisurely, recalling the time when your parents told him to take care of you.

So far, you’ve been the one taking care of him.

Hyunjin heads straight to your bedroom, opening the door and sees you curling on your bed. The mattress he sleeps on whenever he stays over is already laid on the floor.

“Gureum!” you yell when he throws the squishy rabbit to you. Hyunjin drops his bag and settles himself on the mattress, staring up at you.

“How’s your sis?”

You scoot towards the end of the bed, showing him a photo on your phone. Your sister is smiling; she looks much better than before, but still very pale and thin. “I haven’t called her,” Hyunjin admits. “But she got the albums I sent to her. Sent the ones signed by the others too. That kid loves Jisung, do you know that?”

“I got her into Jisung.”

He sits up, looking almost offended. “Your bias is Han Jisung?”

“This world doesn’t revolve around you, superstar.” You flash him a cheeky grin. “I wanted to ask you to let me go to the backstage again last tour, but I restrained myself. As your kind best friend, I shouldn’t abuse my privilege.”

“You know that he never cleans his room, right?”

You hum, “Nobody’s perfect, Jinnie.”

“Oh come on!” Hyunjin protests. “If it’s Jeongin I understand although he also never cleans his room. But Jisung? And you’re calling yourself my best friend!”

“He’s funny!” you argue. ”He has a nice voice—it’s really sexy when he raps, he dances well, he wrote all my favorite Stray Kids songs, and he actually had the balls to fight you. A real champ.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, making a gesture to snatch Gureum away from you. “And at the end of the day, you love him,” you add. “He makes you laugh too.”

Well, it’s a fact he can’t refute. You ask, “Do you think I should hit on him or something? Will people call me out? Does he have someone?”

“We are not having this conversation Y/N. I don’t care if both of you are my best friends, you’re not dating Han Jisung. What happened to that ‘hot senior’ Jung Jaehyun? The last time we called, you were so in love with him.”

The mention of Jaehyun’s name causes you to slump into your bed, covering yourself with your thick blanket. “I sort of blew it up,” you mumble. “He asked me on a real date and I said no.”

You seem to hit realization that’s way too late, and now you’re hollering, “I said no to Jung Jaehyun! Oh my God Hyunjin… I’m such an idiot!”

Hyunjin can’t contain his giggles. Relief washes over him; you and Jaehyun seemed rather serious and while he wished you well, the thought of you being with someone else always pains him. He knows he’s not allowed to feel that way just because you’re best friends.

Most of the times, he can’t help it.

“He’s a real gentleman and he said he was into me. ME. Everyone would throw themselves at him but he came up to me and I flat out rejected him. What the hell is wrong with me?!”

You’re rolling on your bed, whining and kicking at the air. “I tried not to think about it but… it was just a date? Even if I didn’t end up dating him at least I could tell my grandchildren that I went on a date with Jung Jaehyun!”

“Is he really that great?” Hyunjin asks, out of curiosity but laced with jealousy he hopes you can’t see. His words sound distant to his own ears, triggering his fear of losing you.

“Yeah, I guess?”

You nudge his legs when he doesn’t respond. “How about you? Everything’s fine? You don’t look happy thesedays.”

Hyunjin never lies to you. You have a full access to his heart; he lets you in on his happiest days when life feels like the shiniest summer. He also lets you in even after the messiest thunderstorm when he feels that everything is fucked up. This time, he wants to lock you out. There’s nothing to see, there’s nothing to fix.

His heart is empty—he is empty, and he wants to protect you from the bleakness of it.

“I’m fine, just been arguing with Felix and Minho hyung over the song we’ll perform. It feels too monotone for me, but they think it’s perfect,” he explains, not completely lying. “I don’t know if I’m being selfish but somehow I just can’t let it go.”

“Have you tried explaining to them? Not how you feel, but how the song is. You can always go technical, you don’t need to worry just because Minho is more experienced.”

Hyunjin sighs. “I did, but probably it’s just me.”

“Do you wanna talk things out?” You yawn, squishing Gureum into your chest. “Or do you want to just sleep?”

He glances at the clock. “We both need sleep. It’s almost 3A.M.”

“Alright. Good night—I mean good morning!”

Hyunjin stretches his neck to look at you, your eyes are already closed. He relaxes his body and tries to sleep, but his jumbled mind keeps him awake. Hyunjin waits until you’re fast asleep before scooting closer, softly taking your hand in his before closing his eyes once again. He did it a lot when he was younger, holding your hand until he fell asleep. You nagged at him because it woke you up, but you never told him to stop doing it.

Tonight is no different.

“Hyunjin?”

“Sorry.”

You turn to him, “It’s okay.”

He mumbles a thank you, ready to go to sleep when you move to the mattress. Hyunjin gulps at the close proximity, it’s been too long since you slept on the same bed as him.

“Hyunjin, I missed you.”

Hyunjin heard a theory somewhere: 3.A.M-conversations are the most honest. It’s a little over 3A.M now, and he doesn’t how much of that theory is true, but your words fuel something deep within him. The feeling so strong he has to tear his gaze away from you. Hyunjin slowly pulls you into his arms, patting your back in rhythm with the clock.

He grazes his lips on your shoulder, mouthing his reply quietly, “I missed you too.”

You nod against his chest, pulling your hand out of his grasp so you could circle your arms around his torso.

Hyunjin falls asleep almost immediately, succumbing to the warmth and comfort you radiate.

He’s going to be alright.

“Do you think I’ll ever debut?”

Hyunjin takes off his SOPA jacket, plopping onto the bed while you’re munching on a pack of jelly. “Let me sleep for 10 minutes. I have to go to the company after this.”

You slap his thigh. “Why do you always sleep in my room? If I got a dollar everytime you sabotage my bed I’d be really rich now. Get out, you have practice!”

He reaches for your knee, using it as a pillow. Hyunjin feels you soften as you card your hand through his hair. “Is it hard? Are those mean hyungs still bothering you?”

Hyunjin shakes his head. “Changbin hyung told those motherfuckers to mind their own business.”

“Stop cursing!” you hiss. “It’s not cool, and what if you accidentally curse on broadcast later? You have so much to learn…”

Hyunjin opens his eyes and smiles when he meets your gaze. “Do you think I’ll ever debut?” he repeats his question.

“Have you seen yourself dancing? You’re better than most of the trainees I saw at the open showcase. Plus you have so many girls screaming your name. No offense, but that is definitely a plus point.”

You give his head a little smack when you notice doubt flashing through his orbs. “I believe in you, Hyunjin. Don’t doubt yourself,” you tell him softly. “And if you need someone to give those ‘motherfuckers’ a lesson, just call me. I know some people who can shut them up.”

He lets out an obnoxious gasp. “Are you a gangster now?! Your parents are going to be so disappointed in you. Looks like you have to say goodbye to medical school now…”

You sigh, now it’s your turn to look at Hyunjin with doubt in your eyes. “I’ll get in, right? What if I flunk my results later?”

“This is why I hate smart people,” he bemoans. “You rank first in the whole school, stop saying nonsense.”

Both of you a few more minutes lying in silence. When he waves you goodbye, Hyunjin feels like he can soar.

He’s safe with you, and you’re safe with him.

“Hwang Hyunjin, get off me!”

Hyunjin wakes up to you trying to untangle your legs from his. He catches your flailing legs, removing his before examining your face. “It’s almost noon. Aren’t you running late?” you pester, pointing at the clock.

“Lunch?” he asks.

This is supposed to be awkward. Hyunjin can’t recall what happened a few hours ago before blushing—he’s never been that intimate with you before. You two have had a fair share of platonic cuddle sessions, but last night felt different.

“Not yet,” you mutter. “I just woke up. Oh God my back hurts.”

He wants to know whether you feel the same, but you’ve made your way to the bathroom before he could ask anything. “What do you want to eat?” you yell, almost incoherently due to the toothpaste in your mouth.

“You’re not going to shower?” Hyunjin playfully shrieks.

“It’s my day off!”

“My mom must’ve cooked something. Gimme 10 minutes.”

Although he’s done this at least a hundred times, it’s still hard for Hyunjin to leave home. Seeing his he’s never able to stop his heart getting heavier at the sight of bidding his family goodbye until God knows when.

“Please come home more Y/N,” his mother asks you, raising her eyebrow. “Hyunjin seems to randomly pop up whenever you’re here, so please, come home more.”

You smack his back loudly, causing him to let out a choked groan. “I’ll teach him a lesson, don’t worry.”

Hyunjin gives his mother a sheepish smile, knowing all too well what she meant. He pulls you out before she starts grilling him for information, yelling one last goodbye before closing the door. You search for something inside your bag, stopping him from pressing the elevator button.

“You left something?”

“My dorm key,” you answer, walking back to your own unit. “You should just go,” you say. “It’s in the middle of the day anyways, we shouldn’t be seen together.”

Hyunjin follows you inside, watching you rummage through one of the buffet drawers. He notices how your shoulders are slumped and the way your eyebrows furrow. As his mind wanders to last night once again, you jab at his stomach lightly. “Hey, you’re spacing out.”

“Oh,” is all Hyunjin can say. He takes a good look of you, something he always does before he parts ways with you. Before he can stop himself, Hyunjin has wrapped his arms around you, letting you hear his erratic heartbeat. He still misses you, even after spending the whole night together.

Eventually, you pull away. “I’ll go first.” You ruffle his head. “See you when I see you?”

“See you soon,” he corrects you.

You smile, taking your bag from the floor and when he blinks, you’re gone.

Hyunjin still misses you now, even when you were just in his embrace a few minutes ago, burying your head into the crook of his neck. The empty space in his heart seems to expand whenever he thinks about you.

It hurts.

Minho ends the dance practice and everyone collapses on the floor the moment the music stops playing. Hyunjin immediately restarts the discussion they had before practice started.

“We used to sing both Grow Up and You Can Stay, why do we have to choose one now?” he demands while all of them are sprawled on the floor. “Our fans miss it too, I think it’s the perfect chance to bring it back.”

Chan takes a deep breath, nodding at Hyunjin. “I can’t see why not,” he says with a chuckle. “I don’t even remember why we abandoned it in the first place.”

Hyunjin does, and he knows Chan does too. It was simple, really. The song that once gave them comfort turned into this big monster made out of their worst nightmares. Each member had cried to the song during some of their concerts, and now performing it in front of everyone always brings back the painful memories.

“Yeah, we should sing it again,” Felix adds, kicking Jisung’s leg so the latter would sit up and voice out his opinion. “Well.” Jisung scratches the back of his head, “I’m cool with it.”

The rest of the group mumbles similar answers and Chan claps, giving Hyunjin a thumbs up. “Hyunjinnie is all grown up,” he praises before gathering his things and leaves. Hyunjin snorts at the leader’s compliment, but his sparkly eyes can’t fool anyone.

He pulls out his phone to relay the happy news to you, but the sparks in his eyes quickly fade when his messages from hours ago are still unread.

“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” he asks.

Seungmin checks his phone. “5A.M.”

Hyunjin wipes his sweat, chugging his water. Their American tour starts in a few days, and while he’s ecstatic because they’ll be performing at LA Staples Center for the first time, he also feels uneasy.

He takes out his phone, opening his contacts and stops when he sees your name. He stares at the number he remembers by heart.

“You okay?” Seungmin asks. “If you’re worried about District 9’s formation change, don’t. You nailed it today.”

“District 9…” Hyunjin trails off. “We’re getting too old for District 9.”

Jeongin grunts in agreement. “Whenever we finish my head always spins for like a minute. It’s been too long.”

“Yah,” Seungmin scolds him. “You need to get it checked. What if there’s something wrong with your head?”

The youngest does an exaggerated head banging, earning a kick from the puppy-like boy. Hyunjin chuckles at the two’s antics; some things never really change, and he’s grateful that this is one of those things.

Seungmin throws a playful punch at Jeongin’s stomach one last time before focusing his gaze back on Hyunjin. “Seriously though, did something happen?”

Hyunjin’s brain has a lot of template answers to questions like this, but the cliché words on tip of his tongue feel burning. His friends wait patiently as he fumbles for words, blinking his tears away when he fails to find the right words.

“I don’t even know if there’s anything,” he finally concludes. “It’s just—ever since Bonsang, it’s been hard. It’s been… nothing. Empty.”

Seungmin and Jeongin only nod, as if they understand how he feels. They probably do, Hyunjin thinks. Maybe he’s not the only one. Maybe all of his members have experienced it at some point, although at different times. Hyunjin feels slightly relieved at the thought. I’m not insane.

When he was a trainee, he thought everything would be fine once he debuted. It was, to some extent. But he was young and naïve, and when things beyond his control happened, Hyunjin barely managed to stay afloat. People told him how to handle stress, how to voice out his concerns, how to manage his body, mind and soul. He knew how to survive, theoretically.

No one actually taught him nor the other boys, and for an 18 year-old boy, feelings got intense quickly. After some trials and errors, everyone figured that it was best not to bottle up their feelings. Once again, it sounded easy in theory. In reality, with so many things happening at once, most of them eventually created a space in their own heads to seal everything in. They endured.

Jeongin looks at him with hesitation, rubbing his hands together. “It happens,” he reassures him. “It’s okay to worry about it, hyung. But worry about it with me, please!” Jeongin raises his tone. “You can barge into my room anytime. You can annoy the hell out of me, but stop suffering alone, will you?!”

Seungmin can’t miss the chance to tease the maknae. “Says the one who cried alone all night long in the bathtub after losing his voice.”

“If I hadn’t found you, you would’ve passed out,” Hyunjin adds. Jeongin lifts his hands in defeat. “Whatever. But I meant what I said.”

“Our Jeongin is so dependable,” Hyunjin coos.

“You say that all the time.” Jeongin rolls his eyes. “And then still baby me.”

Seungmin takes Hyunjin’s phone from the floor, passing it to the owner. “Call Y/N.”

Hyunjin panics a little. “Why?”

Seungmin shrugs. “Better days start after meeting the person you want to see the most!”

“Speaking of you and Y/N,” Jeongin quips. “You guys aren’t in high school anymore, stop flirting with each other and date already.”

Hyunjin gets a surge of bravery and dials your number, but immediately regrets his decision with each passing minute. He almost ends the call when you finally answer. “Hyunjin?”

“H-hi,” he stammers. “Busy?”

“Kind of... What? What happened?”

“Can we meet? I only need a couple of minutes. You’re in Seoul, right?”

“I am. Hyunjin, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

It’s scaring me too.

“I want to tell you in person. Where are you? I’ll come to you.”

Hyunjin isn’t sure when the lines between best friends and something more started to get blurry. The worse thing is, he realized it way too late and things got complicated before he could do anything about it.

“It’s too late to back out,” he mouths to himself while opening the stairwell door in the hospital you’re currently at. You’re sitting on one of the steps, dozing off as your head hits the wall every now and then.

Hyunjin runs his hand through his hair, guilt consuming him. He sits beside you, pulling your head to his right shoulder. The two of you always attended the same school until high school, when he decided to enroll in SOPA instead of a regular school. Since then, he never really knows what’s going on in your life. You told him about your close friends, the small fights, medical students’ inside jokes, the good looking boys, all the knowledge and experiences you’re grateful for despite the never-ending suffering and constant lack of sleep. You told him everything, but he’s never actually seen you in your world.

You’ve seen enough of his world—you’ve gone to his concerts, awards shows, even fansigns (as a prank because you wanted to see him getting all flustered while pretending not to know you). Hyunjin never has the time or makes an effort to do the same, and while it’s completely understandable due to the nature of his job, he feels like he’s going to lose you.

As he brushes your hair out of your face, Hyunjin asks himself whether he’s good enough for you.

“Whoa,” you suddenly whisper, straightening your body. “Did I fall asleep?”

Hyunjin stops you from getting up. “You must be tired.”

“So are you.” You remove his hand from your head. “So tell me. What’s going on?”

You’re here, sitting beside him, only wanting truth to come out of his mouth. Hyunjin bites his lip, the urge to just let go is eating him up, his soul begging him to get some answers. The familiar hollowness is back, and tears start to roll down his cheeks.

This isn’t the first time he cries in front of you, so you just pat his head, waiting for the tears to stop. “I’m sorry,” he groans. “I’m so sorry Y/N.”

You lift his head, eyes looking straight into his. “What for?” you mutter. “Hyunjin, please tell me.”

Hyunjin makes a silent plead at himself to toughen up, but it’s hard when you’re staring at him like this, wide eyes filled with raw concern and sincerity that never fail to touch the deepest part of his heart. “Hmm?” you prompt, still patting his head ever so softly.

“It’s been hard,” Hyunjin sniffles. “It’s hard to look forward to the future. I feel restless all the time. I have nothing to fight for. It’s…,” He makes gestures with his hand in attempt to explain it better. “… empty.”

You wipe his tears with the sleeve of your white coat. “Do you know why you feel that way?”

Hyunjin nods. “We’re doing well, we really are… and that’s probably why. Everything is going too well I don’t know what thrills me anymore. I thought I’d feel content once I reached all of my dreams, but that’s not the case.”

He examines your face, rehearsing the next lines in his head again and again. You cock an eyebrow, encouraging him to continue. And the last bit of Hyunjin’s defense crumbles with every blink of your pretty eyes.

“And you… I miss you all the time. Even when you’re right here with me, I still miss you. I have to hold back whenever I’m with you because I don’t want you to run away from me. I love you, Y/N. I don’t know when it all started but maybe I’ve always loved you and it hurts me not being able to tell you that. The emptiness… it gets worse whenever you tell me we shouldn’t be seen together or that you have to go or when you have other boys like Jaehyun who are clearly better for you than I am because they can be there for you. I love you so bad you don’t know how hard it is to go through days without you, without kissing you good night, without hearing you laugh for me. I keep thinking, ‘what if you’re suddenly gone?’ Maybe you’ll leave me someday, maybe you’ll tell me that you can’t be my friend anymore, but I need you, Y/N. I love you and I need you here with me to keep going. I—”

Hyunjin watches you slowly—very slowly—retract your hand from his head as words fail him, and he feels as if his guts are being hammered to pieces. He can’t read your eyes, can’t even try to define what your gaze means.

You eventually stand up, pulling him up with you. “I’m not the answer, Hyunjin,” you mutter. “You can’t expect that you’ll never feel empty again once I say that I accept your feelings. It’s just—it’s not fair. This isn’t just about us not being together.”

“But—”

“I know,” you cut him off, your body start shaking due to all the tension. “I know. That’s how you feel, and I can’t dictate you what to feel and not to feel. Think about it like this…”

You pause to check if he’s still listening to you. He nods, weakly.

“… you spent years working your ass off to get recognition from everyone, and you did it. Don’t ever forget that, I’m begging you. So all of your dreams have come true and you feel lost now… it’s okay. You have a lot of time, Hyunjin. You can always have a new dream, you can have a thousand more. Don’t make me the answer to everything just because you haven’t found any other answer.”

You wait for him to respond, but Hyunjin is frozen to his spot. His world is now upside down, and he doesn’t know how long it will take to fix everything.

Your phone rings, snapping him out of his trance. You look at him apologetically. “I have to go.” Those damn words again. “Ask Seungmin to help you ice your face, you don’t want to show up at the airport with swollen eyes, do you? Call me before you take off, okay? Hyunjin?”

He can only nod, trying his best to give you the most reassuring smile. He feels everything all at once: shock, shame, sadness… but mostly regret because you’re right.

You always are.

“Have fun on tour! Send me all the photos you take!”

Now it’s turn for Hyunjin’s phone to ring as you make your way out, leaving him alone. He’s about to press the green button when the door opens once again. Hyunjin lets his phone ring, watching you fidget with your hands.

He’s still pretty much tongue-tied, but forces himself to ask, “Did you ever… love me? As more than friends?”

To his surprise, you take quick steps towards him, tiptoeing to press your lips on his. Your eyes are closed, your hands are tied to your sides and it takes Hyunjin his whole willpower to refrain himself from pulling your body closer, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the life out of you. He closes his eyes and just stands there, accepting whatever you’re willing to give him because there’s nothing he yearns more than your love and trust.

Hyunjin almost whines when you pull away with red cheeks and teary eyes. “Come back to me when you’re ready. I’ll wait for you. Only you.”

It’s Hyunjin’s 10th (or 11th? He can’t really remember) visit to New York, but he’s still as excited as a kid with his lollipop. After years of traveling from country to country, Hyunjin realizes that he just doesn’t get bored, ever. Each place holds a special memory he keeps close to his heart, something sentimental that motivates him to go back every chance he gets.

“Stand there,” he motions at Seungmin—the only one who’s willing to accompany him walking around the Empire State Building for the nth time—to stand at the spot he points at. Seungmin follows his instruction, smiling when Hyunjin starts counting. They examine the result and Seungmin shoves his leg. “I guess you finally learned something.”

Hyunjin feigns hurt, setting his camera’s focus on a group of kids, holding his breath before pressing the shutter. “As if you taught me anything.”

He glances at his bandmate who’s busy taking photos with his own camera. Photo hunting with Seungmin is always in Hyunjin’s “limited free time” itinerary. They’ve strolled around so many cities together, sometimes it takes the whole day if time allows them. Strangely, Seungmin never gets bored of it either and although it’s no surprise since he loves photography more than anything else, Hyunjin is grateful.

“You never say no whenever I ask you to take photos with me,” Hyunjin states. “Why?”

Seungmin frowns. “What kind of question is that?”

“Just wondering,” Hyunjin mumbles. “We do pretty much the same thing everytime. Sometimes I force you to go to the places we’ve been to… don’t you get bored?”

“It’s always different everytime, I thought that’s why sometimes you take photos at the same place? It’s never exactly the same, don’t you think?”

Hyunjin goes through the photos he took in New York last year, smiling at some of them as he recalls the funny anecdotes behind them. When he slips his phone back into his jeans pocket and lets his eyes wander… yes, nothing is exactly the same.

“You truly are a photographer. When’s your next exhibition, Photographer Kim?”

Seungmin snaps his finger. “Ah! Exhibition! I forgot to ask you, why don’t we held a joint exhibition this time?”

“You want to show your photos along with my photos?”

“Why not? Yours are amazing too! And you’re my best friend, it’ll be fun.”

Hyunjin imagines having his photo framed on the wall. Small placards pinned underneath, containing the words he constructs to explain each of them. The fans will come to feel how it feels like to be here behind the lens. Maybe people who don’t even know him will come too, and get a chance to actually know him.

He reaches his phone to relay the idea to you, smiling to himself when he finds messages from you instead.

y/n: [sends a picture]

y/n: ahreum finally woke up today! isnt she pretty?

me: everyone is prettier than you

me: you must be happy!!

y/n: ??????

y/n: oh. she asked me to recommend boygroup songs

y/n: i made her listen to every single skz song

y/n: and your solo songs!!!!

me: awwwwwww

me: and you cant be doing this for free right?

“Is that your best friend slash girlfriend?” Seungmin is suddenly standing behind him, reading over his shoulder. “You guys are so cute it’s making me feel sick.”

Hyunjin sighs, gazing at the busy street upon him. “We’re not dating. At least not yet.”

“What happened? Just realized that I never really asked.”

“She asked me to come to her when I’m ready.”

Seungmin looks at him quizzically, but decides not to press him further. “Are you ready now?”

They’re flying back to Seoul next week, and while he thought he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the tour, he truly did. He thinks of all the good things that have happened: the sold out shows, the happy tears, his improvement, the upcoming exhibition with Seungmin, and lastly, you—the one who’s patiently waiting for him.

There have been a lot of times when Hyunjin feels like he’s everywhere but nowhere at the same time. It sounds scary, but now he realizes that he only needs to admit that he’s indeed everywhere, but never nowhere.

“Almost.”

The instrumental of Grow Up starts to play and all the boys rush back to their designated positions. The atmosphere turns a bit more sentimental as the bridge approaches, they’re just looking at each other while Minho is singing his part. In the past, they often teased each other during this very part, afraid that they would break down if they let their emotions overtake them. Hyunjin averts his gaze to the audience, watching the beautiful color of their lightsticks light up the huge stadium. As he gestures at some of the fans to stop crying, Hyunjin thanks himself for convincing the others to add the song back to their setlist.

The song comes to an end, and Chan gathers everyone to make a circle. Hyunjin feels pats on his head and back, Chan’s voice drowned by the fans who are still singing. He can’t resist the urge to turn around, so he does just that, and what he won’t trade what he sees for anything.

Their fans are standing there, eyes focused on everyone on stage as they sing each syllable perfectly. Changbin follows his gaze, and soon all of them are facing the audience again, listening to every wish, every hope, and every message relayed through the lyrics of the song.

Hyunjin lifts his mic, eyes darting to Chan who gives him a nod of approval. “Thank you,” he begins. “This is our last stop for this tour, and I can’t be any prouder and thankful to all of you.”

He lets the translator translate his speech before continuing, “I had a lot of worries before the tour started. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to go through everything.”

“You made our dreams come true,” Hyunjin continues. “You made my dreams come true and I naively thought that was the end of everything. But I learned a lot during this tour, and once again, you made this happen. All the pretty words you told us, they mean a lot. They always will. I realized that this will always be my dream, no matter how many times this has come true. I want to make you, who stay with us throughout everything, happy. I want to be here for a very long time. I want to be with you, to be with the members and our family, for a very long time.”

He stops when he feels he can’t continue anymore, letting the others take the spotlight. He gives each of his bandmates with a loving gaze, stopping at Minho who lets tears roll down his cheeks this time. Jeongin is giggling beside him, walking over to wrap the tsundere hyung in a firm hug.

Hyunjin thinks they’ve really come a long way.

Being back home usually gives Hyunjin a peace of mind, but when he sees no notification on his phone, he feels weird. He dials his mother’s number, his heart grows even more anxious when she picks up.

“Oh Hyunjin-ah, did you just land?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you come over here? Or do you have an important schedule?”

“No, we get 2 days off. What’s going on?”

“Y/N’s sister passed away. Sorry we didn’t tell you sooner, we didn’t want you to panic.”

“Eomma! How could you?”

“I’m sorry. This is Y/N’s request as well. She’s been here for 2 days and no one can make her eat anything. Can you take her home?”

“I’ll be there soon.”

“You’re going to live in Germany! You’re such a lucky kid!”

The little girl smiles bashfully as you pout at her. “The luckiest girl on Earth,” you add, fixing her messy hair.

“If you’re so jealous of me, why don’t you come along?”

“Are you kidding?” you exclaim. “I’m on my way to be the greatest doctor in this country. You can’t change my mind.”

“Alright, it’s time to go,” your father interrupts, giving you one last hug before whispering things into your ear. Hyunjin steps back to allow you say goodbye to your family, tearing up at the painful sight. Your father, a doctor, accepts an offer to work in a hospital in Germany and takes the whole family with him since your sick little sister needs more intensive treatment.

But you’re staying to become a great doctor like your father, hoping you’ll get a chance to cure your sister later.

“Please take care of her, Hyunjin. We trust you,” your mother tells him. Hyunjin nods, enveloping your hand in his. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here monitoring her every move and drag her back home whenever she spends too much time at the academy.”

Your sister laughs, bowing to Hyunjin. “I also want a boyfriend like Hyunjinoppa! Please take care of our unnie.”

You yank your hand away from him. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

Hyunjin seems unbothered by your statement, bowing to your family to annoy you more. “Our family will take care of her, you can trust us.”

Your sister’s smiling face greets Hyunjin as he enters the funeral home. He stares at the photo then closes his eyes to pray, whispering strings of apologies that’s always too late. I’m sorry I never visited you. I’m sorry I failed to take care of your sister. I’m sorry I didn’t call you enough.

He bows to your family, the first bow since years ago, and he wishes he could turn back time. Hyunjin turns to you, gazing into your tired eyes. Your mother pulls him towards you. “She hasn’t eaten at all. Can you please bring her home, Hyunjin? I hope you’re not too busy. I’m sorry that we meet like this.”

“Hyunjin just landed in Seoul. How could you force him to come here?” you snap, returning his gaze. “Go home. I’ll call you later.”

Hyunjin almost yells in frustration, but swallows everything before dragging you out, only tightening his grip on your wrist when you try to pry his hand off of you. You keep shouting at him, yelling at him to stop, but Hyunjin doesn’t budge. He drags you all the way to his car, opening the passenger door for you.

“Get in the car, Y/N.”

Without waiting for you to move, he lifts your body and sits you down, fastening your seatbelt. “Please don’t push me away,” he pleads. “Why do you always tell me go home, go back to practice, to leave… why?! I promised your parents to take care of you. I promised your sister, why aren’t you letting me do that?!”

“I never asked you to do that,” you mutter through gritted teeth, causing Hyunjin to grip your shoulders.

“You only said that to hurt me,” he replies. “Even now you’re still trying to push me away. I want to be here Y/N. Don’t you want me here?”

You avoid his eyes, keeping your gaze on your clasped hands. “Tell me,” Hyunjin challenges. “Tell me that you don’t want me to stay with you, and I’ll leave.”

He waits for you to respond, letting out a relieved sigh he doesn’t bother hiding when you shake your head. “Want you here. Thank you.”

“Have you cried?”

After your sister was born, you were told not to shed tears in front of her. Your parents always scolded you if you started crying when you saw her in pain, and after some time, it became a habit. A habit that Hyunjin absolutely despises since it makes you suppress your feelings, as if punishing you for having feelings.

“I don’t know… maybe I haven’t.”

“You lost your sister, you can cry. Your parents cried a lot too, it’s fine.”

You nod, resting your head in the crook of his neck when tears start to well up. Hyunjin presses a kiss on your temple, finding himself tearing up the moment you start sobbing, something he has never witnessed although he’s known you for almost his whole life.

“Is this your Armani suit?” you manage to voice in the middle of sobs and snorts. He takes you into his embrace, chuckling, “Yes, but you can ruin it however you want. Another privilege as my best friend.”

“Can I abuse this privilege?”

“Ruining my expensive suits?”

“No,” you laugh airily. “Crying when you’re with me.”

Hyunjin cups your wet cheeks, gently pushing your hands away when you want to wipe your tears away. “Anytime. You can cry, laugh, curse, get angry, get drunk… you can do anything when you’re with me.”

And that’s all it takes before you start sobbing into his suit again. Hyunjin is standing there for the longest time, sandwiched by the passenger seat and door of his car with you in his arms. He doesn’t care, he will do it all over again, and he will do much more. For you, and only you.

“Where are you? It’s past midnight already!”

“Hwang Hyunjin, you’re lucky I’m willing to go home when I have a morning shift tomorrow,” you scold him over the phone.

“It’s my birthday! Wait, it isn’t even my birthday anymore!” he whines in an obnoxious tone that never fails to upset you. He giggles when he hears you huff, the sound of the elevator signaling that you’ve already arrived.

“You asked me to buy you a cake right before I left,” you hiss. “Now open the door, I’m outside.”

The call ends and Hyunjin rushes to the door. You’re carrying the red velvet cake he requested, the candles already lit and Hyunjin tries not to melt at the way you look at him. He did ask you to buy him a cake and “surprise” him at your apartment, but he is nowhere near ready to see you like this: all smiley and cheery for him despite sounding annoyed over the phone.

“Happy birthday,” you sing song, your smile growing wider as he blows the candle. Hyunjin returns your smile before taking the cake from you, pulling you towards your room. “Go get changed, I’ll slice the cake for you.”

A few minutes later, both of you are seated on your couch, talking about every little thing while enjoying the cake. Hyunjin tells you about Stray Kids’ upcoming comeback, a very special one since Minho choreographed the title track. You tell him about various cases that happened in the hospital while wondering if you’ll ever finish medical school and actually be a doctor.

Everything feels the way Hyunjin expects it to be, until you put your empty plate on the table and look at him straight in the eyes. “Hyunjin…”

He quickly swallows and places his plate on the table as well, never breaking eye contact with you. “What?”

You gulp. “Do you remember when I asked you to come find me when you’re ready?”

“Feels like yesterday.”

“Well,” you murmur. “I’m just wondering if you’re… ready.”

Fire lights up in his stomach, and before you can continue, Hyunjin is already trapping you between his body and the couch. “I am,” he says. “Are you?”

You brush his fringe with your fingers. “You were waiting for me?”

“You told me to start dreaming again, so I did,” Hyunjin recalls. “And I realized that all of my dreams are right in front of me—you, my family, the hyungs, Jeongin, the fans… keeping you guys with me is something I’ll always dream of although all of you are already here.”

You pout at him, but Hyunjin doesn’t miss the proud gleam in your eyes. “Then what’s taking you so long?”

He pinches your nose. “I waited for you to be ready, as you said before, it wasn’t just about us being together. I don’t want you to choose me only because you feel like you need me. I want you to… want me… to love me with a clear head. Just like what you wanted me to do. I want to give you the world, but only if you allow me to.”

You circle your arms around his neck, sighing happily, “You gave me the world, Hyunjin. You listen to me, you console me, you give me a shoulder to cry on. You’re the only one I’ve ever waited for, and I’m so glad that you came back to me.”

Hyunjin is sure that his whole system has stopped working, the words you just uttered feel like the strongest, yet the sweetest liquor he’s ever tasted. He is drunk on the love you offer; he’s drunk on your touch, your smile and everything you want to give him. You’re driving him nuts, completely nuts, but it’s the only thing he wants to feel. You are the only one he yearns to feel.

You seem to sense his burning gaze and start nibbling on your bottom lip. “So this is the part where you kiss me…”

“This is the part where I kiss you…”

You shake your head. “This feels weird. You’re my best friend.”

“You kissed me,” Hyunjin reminds you. “It’s not like we’ve never done it before.”

“No, but—” You pause to let yourself breathe. “I kissed you. This is different, I’m not going to survive you kissing me.”

“For the love of God Y/N, just—”

You point at your lips. “And I still have my lipgloss on!”

Hyunjin is caressing your reddening cheek now, trying to destroy the last bit of your defense. “And what’s wrong with that?” he asks softly.

“It’s sticky! Our lips will get stuck and it won’t be romantic.”

“So what do you want to do? Go into your room and wipe it off with a cotton pad or something?”

“Yeah, let’s do—”

Hyunjin doesn’t let you finish as he finally dives in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that set both of you on fire. He hums when he feels your body relax in his hold, allowing him to savor you with so much longing and want. Hyunjin lets his heart take the lead, kissing you harder whenever you tug the ends of his hair and making him putty under your touch. It never feels enough, it feels like he only gets hungrier everytime you return his kiss, the feeling of your lips moving against his almost destroys him.

Nothing is stopping him now, he came back to you and you welcomed him with open arms. Hyunjin leaves one more open mouthed kiss on your lips before pulling away with a loud pop, taking in the sight of you trying to breathe. You slowly meet his eyes with flushed cheeks, eyes mirroring his own and Hyunjin tries to remember every single detail. “God I love you so much,” he hears himself whisper.

You smile, lifting your hand to trace his face delicately. “I love you.”

“Are you mine now?” Hyunjin knows this is childish, but he wants to hear it. He longs to hear it.

Thankfully, you’re willing to play his game tonight. “Only yours.”

“No more mourning over Jung Jaehyun?”

“Jesus Christ, do you need to stoop that low.”

“Yes.” Hyunjin pecks your nose. “He doesn’t listen to K-pop, right? Introduce him to me.”

You roll your eyes. “I love you, why the hell are we talking about Jaehyun now?”

“Then what should we talk about?”

“Since we’re on a competition to ruin the mood, lemme burst your bubble: my parents are moving back in next week so we need another place to do... this.”

“Okay,” Hyunjin answers. “What are we gonna do now?”

You wrap your legs around his torso, making him gasp. “I don’t know, kiss me again? I’m gonna tell you this just once, but I, along with thousands of other people, have always wanted to kiss you. It made me feel pathetic, but it is what it is.”

Hyunjin blushes, but refuses to lose to you. “You tried to make me not kiss you a few minutes ago and now you’re desperate to kiss me. Was I that good?”

“Hmmm I guess so,” you hum.

He swiftly lifts your body, grinning when you tighten your hold around his neck. “Well, I’m yours to kiss now,” he teases, trying to walk into room without knocking into things. You leave soft kisses all over his face, prompting Hyunjin to walk faster so he could just kiss you already.

When your back hit your bed, Hyunjin stops to admire your face. “I kissed you a long time ago, don’t you remember?”

Your eyes widen. “You? Kissed me? With those plush lips? When?!”

“You don’t remember? But it was our first kiss!”

You spend the next few minutes racking your brain before nodding. “Ah, it did happen a long time ago.”

“It’s okay, maybe you wanted to forget that moment. It was your darkest time, and I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

Shaking your head, you run your thumb along his lip. “Thank you for staying with me all these years.”

Hyunjin closes the gap between you once again, hoping to chase away all the sorrow inside your soul. You pull him closer, making him practically lying on top of you, feeling your chest rise with each touch of his lips on your skin. “Thank you,” a kiss on each of your eye, “for,” a kiss on the tip of your nose, “making me,” a kiss on your lips—this time he lets it linger, “dream,” a kiss on your chin, “again,” and a kiss on your neck.

It took Hyunjin so long to understand the world, and now he still hasn’t understood even half of it. But in the middle of his journey, he met you. He learned to dream, he learned to love you.

And he learned to love himself.

The door opens with a bang, revealing an incredibly panicked Hyunjin. He just finished training when he received a call from you, who said nothing but, “I won’t let you walk home alone.” You wouldn’t end the call throughout his way home, but refused to say anything else and almost making Hyunjin dash to the police station.

Hyunjin sees your shadow, letting out a small scream when he spots you lying on the floor in the dark. He runs to you, about to carry you back into your room when you stop him. “I feel like crying,” you rasp, choking on your saliva. “I can’t stop it.”

It’s been a month since your family left, and while you’re trying your best to be a big girl and live the way you always do, it’s not easy. Hyunjin lies beside you, eyes locked on the tears rolling down your cheeks. You never cry loudly. You never sob nor wail. You just cry silently, mostly in the dark so you can’t see yourself crying.

Hyunjin takes your hand in his, hovering over you before tracing your tears with his lips as if it can stop them. He pecks every wet spot, slowly getting to your lips. He leaves a chaste, barely-there kiss before wrapping his arms around you, whispering comforting things until you start falling asleep on the hard floor.

Hyunjin hopes you’ll allow yourself to cry however you wish to someday.

a/n: i was so happy writing this that i almost cried when i finished because i know i’m going to miss writing this one. this story feels so sentimental, happy and sad at the same time and probably that’s why i feel so attached to it. ive wanted to write this since last year, even before “give my heart a chance”. i always wondered what would happen after we reach our dreams and i hope you’ll feel a little better after reading this (especially if you’re experiencing the same thing). this story is a long journey, but i hope you’ll enjoy it. 

#stray kids scenarios #stayshub #kwritersworldnet #hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #skz #skz scenarios #skz scenario #hyunjin scenario #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfics #hwang hyunjin fanfics #hyunjin x reader #reader x hyunjin #stray kids hwang hyunjin #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfics

[need-a-fugue]

We Grow Together (5)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

Summary: Relationships can be tough, especially when one person is a recovering-from-being-brainwashed-and-tortured former assassin and the other is an overworked mutant scientist. But hey, every couple has their struggles. Right?

Warning(s): some angst, some emotional and mental turmoil… some bad language words… much fluff

Chapter Summary: The team heads home after their short - and mostly successful - mission, only to be confronted with a new threat heading their way.

The extraction ends up taking almost eight minutes instead of the intended five. But all three hostages are safely evacuated, and aside from some bumps and bruises – and a broken nose and near heart attack – the team is no worse for the wear. “Let’s call that a success,” Steve says as he peels off his helmet and heads for the cockpit.

Tessa’s bent over in the back, digging through the medical supplies as Bucky comes up behind her. He hands his packed-up rifles off to Sam, who takes them without objection and goes to put them away in the lockers at the front of the jet. Bucky doesn’t say a word as he kneels down next to her, laying his palm on her shoulder.

“There’s morphine, but no fucking ice packs,” she mutters. “Who put this kit together?”

He reaches around behind the box that she’s digging through and opens a small freezer, pulls out a soft, blue ice pack. “Here,” he says, leaning back on his heels as he hands it to her.

She turns to him, brow furrowed both in confusion and frustration. It takes her a second to even recognize what he’s offering. She reaches out with a shaky hand and cautiously takes the pack from him. He leans across her and starts piling the medical supplies back into the box, keeping out some gauze and tape. When he turns back to her she’s leaning with her back against the wall, eyes are closed with the ice pack covering most of her face.

“Need any help?” he offers shyly.

She drops the pack and blinks at him. “It’s broken,” she says, staring at him with puffy, red-rimmed eyes.

He gives her a pained smile. “Yeah, looks like.” He holds up the gauze and tape for her to see and she shrugs her shoulders and leans forward.

“Don’t use too much tape,” she tells him as he gently lays a folded square of gauze below her still-seeping nostrils. “I’m just going to have to redo it when we get back.”

He presses the tape into either side of her nose and cringes when she flinches in pain. “I hope you know you’re not redressing this when we get back.” He folds over another square of gauze and gently pats at the thick split in the skin at the bridge of her nose. “You’re gonna need a few stitches,” he tells her.

“And you think I can’t do my own stitches?”

“Baby,” he breathes out, “after tonight I’m not sure that there’s anything you can’t do.”

She lets out a long, deep sigh. “I’ll have Caroline take care of it,” she says, referring to the PA on the med team. She sets the pack back in place and lets her eyes fall shut again.

He moves around so that he’s by her side, leaning against the wall with her. His gloved metal hand lays on her knee and gives a little squeeze. “I’m proud of you,” he whispers to her. Then, smiling to himself, “I really didn’t know what to expect. And when you were out there with that…” He stops and shakes his head. “It scared me to death. But you more than held your own.”

“Held my own,” she repeats, her voice both nasal and a little sharp. She doesn’t move her head off the wall, doesn’t remove the ice pack, doesn’t open her eyes. “I killed a man.”

Bucky’s fingers tense on her knee and he turns to look at her. “You defended yourself,” he says simply, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Another sigh, this one cracking at the end. “I didn’t need to kill him.”

Steve’s voice sounds from the cockpit, “You guys good?” And Tessa drags herself up from her spot against the wall and over into a seat near the middle of the plane. Sam crosses over to her and reaches around to help buckle her in.

“Thanks,” she mutters through the ice pack.

He gives her a sad sort of smile. “You did good tonight,” he intones. “I know it can be hard, but –”

She throws up a silencing hand. “It’s not the first time I killed someone, Sam.” Her words are clipped and harsh, and he can tell immediately that they’re marking the end to a conversation, certainly not the beginning to one. So he gives her a soft pat on the shoulder and quietly moves up front with Steve.

Moments later she can feel Bucky’s presence next to her as they prepare to take off. But he says nothing. She can sense his nervous energy. “I’m fine,” she mutters.

“That was convincing.”

She reaches her hand out next to her, blindly patting around the seat, then his thigh, in search of his hand. He lets out a small smile as he takes hold of her fingertips, and she twists her hand around in his grip to give him a firm squeeze. “I just need to… decompress,” she tells him.

He brings her hand up to his lips and lays a soft kiss on her fingertips. They smell like copper and when he looks down he sees that they’re stained a deep red and brown from pinching her nose for the last half-hour trying to stanch the flow of blood. It sends a chill down his spine. “You’re shaking,” he utters absently, noticing how her fingers tremble in his grasp.

“Yeah,” she replies, leaning her head onto his shoulder. “I’m buzzing.”

His brow furrows. “Buzzing?”

“In the beginning… when we first jumped the wall… I dropped a guy.” She slowly removes the ice pack and blinks heavily a few times before gingerly touching the dressing on the bridge of her nose.

“Stop it,” he says, batting her hand away as she tugs at the tape. She frowns like a small chided child. “What does buzzing mean?” he asks her again.

“I took on his energy. Basically. And that doesn’t really go anywhere. So when I do that… I feel like I’m buzzing. I just need some time to come down.”

He nods. “Okay.”

She turns to face him, looks him directly in the eye. “I really didn’t need to kill him,” she says suddenly. “The other guy… I could’ve dropped him like the first. I just… didn’t.” She closes her eyes again, leans back, and pulls her hand from his grasp. “I just didn’t,” she repeats solemnly, wringing her fingers together in her lap.

He’s silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. Then, “Redirecting bullets, though…” He lets out a small chuckle. “That is pretty…”

“Jealous?” she asks with a lilt.

He nods, not that she can see him, the ice pack laying over her eyes. “Very.” He reaches into her lap and lays his hand over both of hers, forcing her to stop worrying her fingers. It takes a moment, but he can feel her body begin to relax next to him. “That extra energy,” he starts, heady whisper in her ear. “We could maybe put it to good use…”

She barks out a laugh, the ice pack dropping from her face as she sits upright. “Right now?” she asks turning to him. He raises a single brow at her and quirks his head in the direction of the bathroom at the rear of the plane. “You wanna join the mile high club with this?” She indicates her bloody face, bruised and swollen eyes, nose packed down with gauze.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll focus on the rest of you,” he says, eyes falling down to grace her body. “For the record, that suit is definitely too tight. And I like it.”

She laughs once more, deep and hearty, before curling into him. He smiles as she lays her head on his chest. “Maybe I’ll let you peel it off of me when we get home.”

“If you’re gonna make me wait that long, I won’t care if you let me or not,” he says, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer.

The flight home is fast and uneventful. Every once and a while, they hear some laughter coming from up front as Steve and Sam shoot the shit. They seem to be in a relatively good mood, and that beaming sort of energy helps calms her. As does Bucky’s sense of relief and accomplishment… and peace. By the time they arrive back at the tower, the buzzing has all but left her system.

“It’s late,” Steve says as they file out of the hangar and into the long hall. “Let’s debrief tomorrow.”

“Read my mind,” Sam says with a yawn. “Can I crash at your place?”

Steve looks to Bucky, who’s got himself draped over Tessa, his arms wrapped tightly around her from behind. She giggles as he tightens his grip and tells his friend, “Do what you want, I’m not coming home tonight.”

Steve rolls his eyes and chuckles as Sam lets out an “ooooo.”

“First thing.” He points sternly at the couple, his words strict despite the light smile on his face. “Be in the conference room at 0700.”

“Stop talking military,” Tessa complains as she manages to pull out of Bucky’s grasp. She turns around and walks backwards so she can face the men as she says, “I’m going to the med floor to get some rhinoplasty.” The moment she swings back around, she nearly collides with a giant who turns the corner a bit too fast. “Ooomph,” she breathes out as her hands brace herself on his broad chest.

“Hello friends!”

The men all stop short as they take in the scene before them. “Thor?” Steve asks, surprised.

“Lady Doctor,” the blonde god exclaims, his huge hands coming to rest over hers as they sit on his pecks. “What has happened to you?!”

As he speaks, Clint and Natasha saunter in as well. “Had some fun, I see?” Clint intones.

Natasha comes around the other side of Thor and gently peels Tessa off of the man. “Did you seriously go on a mission without me?” she asks, taking the brunette’s chin in her hand and turning her face to inspect the damage.

Tessa shakes her off and looks back up at Thor, whose handsome face is still showing enough concern to send a shot of electricity through her. A god indeed, she thinks to herself as she connects with his deep blue eyes. “Steve threw me against a wall,” she tells him with an exaggerated frown.

Thor’s stare levels Steve. “You harmed this lady?” he asks, disbelieving.

“I… That’s not…” he stutters out as Sam snickers next to him. “She slipped.”

Nat cocks an eyebrow at him. “That’s right up there with, she walked into a door.”

He gives her a terribly unamused look. “What are all of you doing here?”

“The captain did not harm you?” Thor asks in a low tone meant only for Tessa.

“Of course I didn’t harm her,” Steve says with more than a little irritation. Then, again, “What are you doing here?”

Nat turns to face him, hands on her hips. “We’re here to suit up.” Then, turning back to Tessa, she asks, “Wanna have some more fun?”

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x oc #bucky barnes fanfic #marvel fanfic #bucky imagine #marvelau #avengersau #avengers fanfiction #bucky barnes au #Supernova

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 80

Once the adrenaline faded, the last shock of the night- Rhodey walking up with a nervous President Ellis- was enough to spike what was left in your system. You practically collapsed in his arms as you hugged him tight. Glad to see him. Happy to know he’d been with Tony through most of this. And then that glow that had been consuming you from the start seemed to burst, and with it went most of your energy. 

Things became a little bit of a blur after that. You just remembered feeling hot. Too hot. Sweating profusely. Rooms shaking. A whisper of a cold breeze that left too soon. Too many voices speaking just above you. Hands touching you. Poking. Prodding. Lovingly caressing- 

Ah, that was always Tony. Even in your hazy state, you felt him. And more than once you heard him, not just speaking to you, but speaking to you. In that way only he could. You’re alright honey. You’re gonna be alright. I love you… 

His voice reassuring you, hypothetically holding your hand until the next time consciousness actually returned. The room was soothingly dark, not overly so. And you weren’t alone. Turning your head, the first thing you saw was an IV in your arm, steady drip- a spike of panic touched your awareness- because the last time you’d been hooked up to something like that-

“Hey, there she is.” A warmly familiar voice put your fears at bay, and you looked up to see Bruce, turning half away from a screen, tablet in hand. He slipped his glasses off his nose, putting them in his shirt pocket. “How are you feeling?” 

For a moment you had no idea how to answer that. “I’m okay… I think…” Sure, why not. You didn’t currently feel like you were in immediate danger- or pain, which was nice. “What are you doing?” 

“Checking your levels. Most of it is out of your system by now, I was just making sure things are on the straight and narrow.” Moving, he took a seat on the side of your bed. Lifting his hand, he placed the back of it gingerly on your forehead. 

You gave him a curious look. “As far as I know you aren’t that kind of doctor.” Smiling lightly at him.

He took the jab with relative ease, smiling right on back. “I’m not. But I can make do.” Patting your forehead once, he returned his attention back to his tablet, making a few scribbles on it with his pointer finger. “You’ve had a hell of a fever for the past couple of weeks… spiked more than once... but I think you’re out of the woods now.” 

“Weeks?” You felt your voice weakening at that. “But… I’m fixed now, right?”

“I told you.” Tony’s voice entered the room as the door opened. He came in, rolling up his sleeves, dressed in a handsome white button up shirt and black vest complimented with a purple tie. “That’s what I do.” Bruce moved to allow him to sit next to you on the bed, setting a hand on the back of your head and easing you closer to press a kiss to your forehead. “How are you feeling, honey? All good news, I’m sure.” 

You practically melted into him, eyes closing. “You look so nice… dressing up just for me?” Unintentionally avoiding his question. 

He sat back, hand sliding to cup your cheek in his palm. His grin was sure. “Not entirely. Somebody’s gotta do work around here.” 

“Usually that’s me.” Teasing right on back. 

“Yeah. Well, I guess I don’t mind, while you’re still under the weather. We have a new initiative going on.” 

Shifting, you rested your head against his shoulder. “Tell me about it…” 

His arm came around your shoulder, and you noticed Bruce slipping out of the room to give the both of you some privacy. Tony’s hand spread out as he labeled his proud moment, “It’s called Maimed by AIM- with a question mark.” 

A dissatisfied noise escaped you. “Maybe you should have waited for me to come to…” 

“Don’t like it? I thought it was catchy.” 

“Are there still people left? That Killian hurt?” Used. Abused. Maybe there were some out there… that hadn’t bought in to the Mandarin nonsense. Maya had been talking about that. Briefly, in the time that you knew her…

“Yeah…” His voice got quieter. “Seems Maya had a dead-man’s switch in the event of her death. All her research, all the information of their test subjects, the families… it all got transferred to the Stark Industries’ servers a week back. I thought I may as well try and clean up where I can. Now that I have the answer they were so desperately looking for.” 

“Maya is-” 

“Yeah.” The arm around you squeezed you tighter. “I watched Killian put a bullet through her. When she decided she’d seen enough.” 

Though it was small, the bloom of sorrow was impossible to miss. You moved your hand up over his chest, and snuggled closer. “I’m sorry, Tony.” 

“Couldn’t do anything about it.” His free hand rose, holding over yours. “Doesn’t matter now. All I can do is try to fix what she wanted me to fix.” 

“Did she have family?”

“I already made arrangements. Funeral was a few days ago. There was uh… a lot of red tape.” 

You felt like you were so far behind. “Did you go?”

“Not invited. As I’m sure you can imagine.” He didn’t allow a lot of time to marinate in this. Clearly wanting to move past it. He drew a quick breath in. “Anyway. Tell me. Honestly. How are you feeling?” 

“I don’t know…” Murmuring, as you closed your eyes. Almost like one of his machines, initiating a self check of some kind. How did you feel? “Tired, I guess. Groggy, but… I think everything’s okay.” It should be, right? If you’d spent two solid weeks in bed sweating out this stuff? 

“You’re really sure?” But him asking this again made you wonder. Were you okay? 

It occurred to you what he may have been getting at. Maybe he could fix regular people that had been injected with this stuff. But hadn’t Killian been going on and on and on about something… you dropped down into that space that should have been dark. Because that’s how you always remembered it. But now… it was still alight. Aglow. Orange sky above you. 

Instantly you knew. You were in one of the upper levels of Stark Tower. There were currently two thousand or so people in the building- and… so many… in New York City… for a moment almost a million voices rushed by your ears, causing you to sit away, put your hands over them, and force your eyes open. The calming low-light of your room found you again. “I’m not- ...I thought you said you-” No, no. This wasn’t his fault. You couldn’t blame him. He was standing again, when you looked at him, standing where Bruce had been at that screen by your bedside. “That stuff is still in me?” That had to be it, right? 

His hands were a flurry of motion, opening windows, typing things. “No- ...by all accounts you’re completely flush. ...there were- ...Maya’s notes, on you… pretty sensitive stuff. I can account for the physical reaction, for the most part. But…” 

But there was something about you that he just couldn’t fix. Because how could you fix a-... “You can’t fix the thing.” Eyes lowering. 

“That’s what’s wrong?” He took a seat by your side again. “Talk to me.” 

Did it matter? He couldn’t fix it. It was going to be like this forever now. But, when he put his hand over yours… you remembered you were not so alone. And keeping all of this bottled up, hadn’t that been what had gotten the two of you in trouble in the first place? “When I want to… I guess- like- super concentrate the thing- I go to this space. I don’t know how to describe it. But the floor is covered in water. And usually- usually I could only see one person. The person I was concentrating on. And it was dark in there. Just me. And them. And whatever they were feeling. But now… now it’s like it’s supercharged. I can see too many people. And it’s not dark anymore. It’s so bright.” Oddly finding some catharsis to letting yourself talk. 

So when he didn’t interrupt, you continued, laying your head on his shoulder. Closing your eyes, but not going. Basking in the darkness behind your lids. “When he put that stuff in me- Extremis- I think I really did burn up… and I tried to drop into that space to- I don’t know- make the guards help me or something- but it just all lit up. Like it was on fire, too. And now it’s still that way. And I’m sorry- this probably isn’t making any sense.” 

You felt him shrug. “Makes sense to you.” Then he drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Superpowers are not really my forte. Not those kinds. I wouldn’t even know where to begin- doesn’t mean I wouldn’t try- but…” But how on earth could he even begin to imagine cooking up a solution to a problem he couldn’t physically understand? Literally. So far beyond him. Something science couldn’t make sense of. Injecting a super serum into someone’s body? Great. He could work with that. 

Talking about warping emotions and some dark-bright space where somebody’s- … essence? - wandered around? Yeah. He had no idea what to do with that. And you couldn’t fault him for it. So, you decided, “I’ll be okay.” And when you heard the murmur of discouragement from him, you cut him off, shifting to just look at him. “Really, Tony. I’ll figure it out. It’s not life threatening- that I know of- don’t make that face at me-” Because he was giving you one hell of a dry look. “I just have to get used to it, I guess.” You didn’t always even have that space. Coulson helped you unlock it. Maybe you should talk to him about it… 

“I have to take your word on this one. But. If it gets better or worse. Both. Either. Neither. I wanna know about it.” Because he wanted to keep track. Check up on you. Make sure you were doing okay. And after having communication shut down for so long… what a relief that thought was. 

Leaning in again, you rested your forehead against his, and lifted your hand to his chest. Although his current clothes were killing the light from the Arc Reactor, you felt its faint shape underneath. “No surgery yet?” 

“Like I was gonna go have- let’s be honest- pretty intense open heart surgery while you were laid up. Please. I have more courtesy than that.” His smile was wry. “One of us needs to be full capacity at a time to take care of the other.” Duh. 

At this, and the teasing after thought, you couldn’t help a little giggle. But it died down, and you found yourself just looking at him. “When, then?” 

“Whenever I’m ready. Doctor I met at- wouldn’t you know it- that same science convention in Switzerland. Seems like everybody I met that one night is suddenly important. You believe in coincidences?” Among the massive amount of sarcasm, there was a flutter of sorrow here. And you waited for him to continue. “Friend of Yinsen’s, actually. Took a few days to put a name to that blurry face.” Quieter still, “And realized I’d even met him that night.” He sniffed a breath in, moving past it. “Luckily for me, turns out he called the house. Before it blew up.” 

While just about every part of you wanted to ask what that was about- you didn’t want to give him too much opportunity to slip away. The fact was, they’d connected. And apparently now whenever he decided the time was right… “Are you ready?” Asking him as gently as possible, hand reaching up to touch over the side of his face. 

“Tech’s there. I developed a high powered energy magnetizer that’ll assist with the removal and keep the shrapnel at bay while the Arc’s not in my chest and I’m under.” But he was nervous and scared. Because that’s how a reasonable person would feel. If the surgeon didn’t perform right, or he missed a one or a zero somewhere, or … or anything-

“It’s okay if you’re not ready, Tony. It’s not now or never. This can wait.” Trying to just let him know that you understood. You very much understood his fear. 

“I’m done waiting.” It surprised you, how strong he said this, paired with the determined look in his eyes. His hand rose up, holding yours over his cheek. “I’m ready to move on.” 

So this this, you could only step beside him, and follow him wherever this led. “Okay. So we’ll move on.” Together. “What’s the recovery time look like?” 

Finally he smiled again. “I think, all things considered, I should be fine to take you on a date for Valentine’s.” 

“You’re thinking about that now?” He was such a goof sometimes. But that did pose an interesting question. “What day is it even?” How long did they say you were out again? 

His arms came around you then, with an appropriately tight squeeze. “January seventh. Honey, I’m sorry to say, the new year came and went without you. I promise I did very little partying to start 2013 off.” 

Your arms wrapped around his middle, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “What a change for you.” 

“Which is why I’m looking forward to Valentine’s.” 

“We’ll see.” 

                                                    --------

Things happened almost too fast after that. The rest of the night you drifted in the comfortable presence of Tony, who had settled on the bed with you, although his fingers seemed to never stop moving atop his laptop keyboard. The next morning, as he confirmed appointment after appointment, you worried he was speeding along this process for fear if he put a stop to it in any way now, he may never do it. 

It was hard to know what to make of that. But that very next afternoon you were shaking hands with Dr. Wu and his assistant Jiayi. Fine people, really. You didn’t get any terrible feelings from either of them. Which was important, for sure, but… 

This done waiting attitude may have been more harmful than helpful. But if he wanted to go then what choice did you have but to follow him? So, the appointment was made. And it was a done deal. You put your current energies into make sure he was comfortable, that his room was secure, air tight, and private. And that none of this leaked to the press. This was not meant for them. Not yet. If ever. 

Rhodey met up with you that evening, and you spent perhaps too long a time giving him a squeezing hug. And also apologizing for practically- probably- scaring the living daylights out of him the last time the two of you were together. And while the room was being prepped for surgery- same as Tony- you and Rhodey stood outside, gazing in the observation window. You weren’t exactly sure you were strong enough for this, to watch this- but… 

“He’s ready to go, huh?” Rhodey crossed his arms. 

You gave a weak shrug, as they wheeled him in and started wiring him up to machines. “He said he didn’t want to wait any longer.” 

“I’ll say. Twenty seconds after you return to the land of the living- no offense-” Holding a hand up briefly to you before recrossing his arms, “-he’s going under. Was this something you two talked about before?” 

He was probing. Looking for something. It put an unease in your heart. “You worried?” 

“When am I not? Who knows with him. He acts out when he’s stressed. I just wanna make sure a life changing surgery isn’t gonna be a major regret.” As always, heart in the right place. 

You lowered your eyes as they brought in the anesthesia. “We talked about it. Very briefly. He made consultation appointments for himself. But it all kinda got put on the backburner.” 

“Yeah. I get it. Seems like we’re forefront now, though.” 

In the room, Tony gave you a thumbs up, and you put your hands to the glass in the shape of a heart. Perhaps a little too cliche, considering what was about to happen. But you were sure you saw the corners of his lips lift up around the mask. You felt Rhodey put his arm around you, and only realized then you were shivering. “We’re gonna be okay.” Even your voice was wobbly. 

There just wasn’t enough time to process this. Rhodey pulled you closer to him. “We’ll be okay.” 

The surgery took a grueling five and a half hours. Dr. Wu was probably the best- and only- person for the job. He was careful. Meticulous. Each piece of shrapnel extracted took a long time, as you were sure he was making sure he did everything precisely. Some of it was hard to watch. Like the beginning. And somewhere in the middle you were glad there were just too many doctors in the room standing on the side of his table blocking your view. 

Rhodey took to pacing, but never left. Which was good. It was very nice to have a shoulder to literally lean on every now and again. But where you thought five and a half hours was the longest amount of time you’d ever spent doing anything in your life, it then seemed all too short as Dr. Wu starting sewing him up. It was over? Just like that? Just like that. 

Just like that. You were almost left in a state of shock as they wheeled him out of the room. Rhodey had to shake you a little. “You okay?” 

“He’s lived with that shit in his chest for almost five years- I think-” Time was a little beyond you at the moment. “And now it’s just- gone. Done. Finished. Over.” 

“And this is… a good thing, right?” He had his arms half crossed, one hand sitting just over his mouth as he watched you. “Are we on the same page here?” 

“I just… can’t believe it. It’s hard to believe. You understand, right?” Turning away from the window, the now empty room, looking back at him. 

You found relief when he nodded. “Yeah. I get it. I think we’ll all have to work on believing it together.” 

His hand reached out to take hold of yours, leading you finally out of that wing and upstairs into the room where Tony was getting situated. Still out cold. Probably would be for a while. And, in fact, was. So long a time that eventually Rhodey gave you a pat on the shoulder and told you he needed to head out. That was fine. He had other things to do. You understood. 

So you waited. And tried not to look at the bandages peeking out beyond the neck of the hospital gown he was wearing. Though you did. More than once. Dr. Wu came in eventually to debrief you. You took everything to heart. All his instructions. The details. The important things. And then… he got a hug, too. Even though he didn’t seem like he enjoyed it that much. But that was okay. 

It was when he left, and that you sat down again, that you saw Tony groggily opening his eyes. Leaning over, you brushed some of the stray bangs away from his forehead. “Hey, handsome…” 

His smile was one of relief. “Hey yourself…” Voice a low murmur. “Still here?” 

Laying your hand over his on the bed, “You’re still with us. Everything went perfect.” 

Closing his eyes, he huffed out a noise. “I meant you… if you’ve got other things to do…” 

“Nothing more important than you.” 

“Can’t argue with you there.” It was easy to tell how foggy he was. Not up to his normal speed. Which you imagined must have been frustrating for him. Because in the next breath, “When we gettin’ outta here?” 

“Give yourself a little while, Tony. You just had serious surgery. And, by the way, even when we go home, you’re not allowed to like- even put your arms above your head for the next four-to-six weeks.” Already starting in with the list of important things to know from the doctor. 

He scoffed. “Back in that cave I was building a suit almost immediately after-” 

“Well I don’t care about what went on in strange caves after forced surgery and while you were under duress. Here and now you’re taking it easy. Got it?” Laying down the law. And that was that.

He stared at you, eyes a little glassy, half-lidded. And then a beautiful loopy grin appeared on his face as his eyes closed all the way again. “Yes, ma’am… your way or the highway…” He sounded like he was drifting, as he let his head fall to the side. You sat forward to brush his hair back again and he murmured out a soft pleased noise. His hand turned over, taking hold of yours. “Thanks… for staying…” 

Leaning in, you pressed a delicate lingering kiss to his temple. “Just relax, Tony. Rest. I’m here. I’ve got you.” 

“Got you first.” Through his daze, he got this out pretty quick. 

You smiled, nuzzling that spot at his temple. “We can debate about it later.” 

“I love you.” He was on his way out. I love you, too. 

                                                    ----

You really did make sure to law down the law and make sure he took his time with recover. When he was ready to go home- ...well… not home, which was already a pain, but the Avengers Tower would do, as the penthouse basically acted as your second home- now primary- but, when he was ready, you made sure to take him yourself. Loaded him into the car yourself. Drove him yourself. Took him upstairs yourself- and put him to bed, yourself. 

There was a lot of that, in the coming weeks. But you didn’t mind. It was easy work. Making sure he rested, and when he was back on his feet, making sure he didn’t do anything crazy. “I’ll do all the heavy lifting. Literally, lifting of heavy things.” Unable to help getting in a few sassy snarks here and there. He seemed to appreciate them, anyway. 

In true Tony fashion, he was unable to sit still. And even doing normal things was taking a toll on him. It eventually led to the both of you heading down to the labs. But you made sure to be his hands and arms, and found some strange pleasure as he guided you through building what were essentially non-essential things. Not that he didn’t trust you, you were sure. But probably just getting the tizzy out of his brain by going from one easy thing to the next to the next to the next… 

As February rolled in, he really did seem to be doing much better. And the few check-ins from Dr. Wu suggested he was making excellent progress. And as the second week dawned, you caught Tony more than once giving you thoughtful glances, that eventually turned into, “So. Valentine’s?” 

An offer you were having trouble refusing. Even if you made a show of being slightly off put by the idea, a small sigh escaping you. Aside taking him, there of course was always work to do. “You really have something in mind?” 

“I do. So I’d appreciate it if you could just take one night off. I don’t think I’m asking too much, really.” Playing at being offended as much as you were playing unsure. He came around your desk as you were humming in long mock thought, putting his arms around your shoulders from behind. “You’re gonna make me beg? I’m not above begging. Just say the word.” 

A playful roll of your eyes came next as you gave in. “Oh… alright. Valentine’s. What should I wear?” 

He pressed a kiss to your cheek and, immediately after gaining your approval, seemed to be on his way out. Like he’d completed his mission and risked blowing it by staying any longer. “Something classy. I’m gonna take you out.” 

“Hey- before you go- we have to go back to the… site in Malibu- and collect whatever’s left-” A task you’d been trying to keep him on track for for a little while now. Now that he could handle it. 

But he just waved you off. “We’ll talk about it after.” 

One more thing to put away for now. Couldn’t have everything. 

But a night out? Suddenly seemed like a thing you weren’t sure how you lived without. Something classy really wasn’t saying much. But knowing Tony’s inclinations… you decided on a slinky black dress, which somehow matched his all white suit. It was a good look on him, you had to admit. Really, though, you wondered what had gotten into him. 

The entire night he looked at you like you were the only person on planet earth that mattered, and for one reason or another, it flustered you. He was just emanating love from every pore. So much that you may have been drowning in it. He took you to a fancy restaurant for dinner. And then an even fancier and more exclusive one for dessert. But it wasn’t the food or the locations that were important. 

It was him. And the two of you. And it hardly mattered that paparazzi were being quarantined by Stark security on the opposite side of the street everywhere you two went, or that people around you were looking around and trying to sneak pictures… you understood, really, why he was looking at you the way he had been. It wasn’t because you really were the only person in the universe. 

But to him you were the most important one. For sure. And on a night like tonight, you’d never questioned it less. Maybe near death experiences did that to a person. Maybe he felt more alive than ever. It was hard to say. 

After dessert he strangely took you back to the Tower, and led you hand in hand for a slow dance on the desk, as fireworks bloomed in the night sky behind you. Just as you laid your head on his shoulder, he spoke up. “I uh… at the risk of being overly cheesy, I got you something. I think that’s standard protocol, right. Gift on Valentine’s day.” 

You couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. “I didn’t get you anything.” 

“You’re enough.” Smiling as the two of you gazed at one another. But he seemed a little anxious. “Anyway- here- uh-” Reaching into his suit jacket pocket, he pulled out a long, thin black velvet box. “Turn around.” 

“Jewelry on Valentine’s day. You are going for cheesy.” Teasing him only in the most harmless way possible. Obeying his request after that. You heard the lid creak open, and the tinkly sounds of a chain and some other metal… your eyes closed briefly, lulled by a warm thrum that appeared while his fingers brushed the sides of your neck as he laid the necklace over your skin. Once you heard the clasp close, you reached up to touch your hands over it- feeling a heart pendant, small but no doubt encrusted with something expensive. But on the sides- 

...all along the sides of the chain, there were these… soft yet edged pieces of… something. Something. And almost immediately, for one reason or another, you knew what they were. “Tony-”

His voice was warm in your ear, “Our future started here.” 

As if you needed more confirmation. Half turning to cast quite a look at him- “Tony these are-” 

“Technically speaking- pieces of my heart- yes-” 

“Pieces of shrapnel from a bomb that almost killed you-”

He held a hand up, palming the side of your face. “Now, honey, you can’t say I never gave you anything nice. Or personal.” 

Sitting pretty around your neck were pieces of metal that had been literally sitting in his heart for years- and that had been extracted only five or so weeks ago in a surgery meant to heal him. And now… now he was gifting them to you. Like a sentimental piece of art. How were you supposed to handle that…? 

Evidently, with a crack of a smile, and a reach of your arms up to wrap them loosely around his neck, drawing him closer. “I love it. And you. You’re so weird and dramatic sometimes. You know that?” 

His head craned back, not lulled in, arching a brow. “How is that dramatic?” And at this you mirrored the look he was giving you. The mutual eye brow raising went on for maybe ten seconds more before laughter bubbled up from him, and his hands came to settle on your hips, bringing you in as close as he could get you. “Oh- I’m very sorry- Ms. Our Future Started Here. What was that about glass houses and stones again?” 

Giggles were all too soon leaking out of you. Maybe you two deserved each other. It was right. He was right. Laying your head on his shoulder, as the two of you swayed, “At least I can say I own a Tony Stark original.” 

“I mean. You own a Tony Stark. But if the jewelry thing is what really does it for you…” 

“I own the Tony Stark, thank you.” Only one. Only one man in the world like him. Only one man in the universe that was him. And you were forever grateful. 

His arms lifted, and you felt a slice of worry, but it dissolved as he wound them around your shoulders as yours dropped to wind around his middle, laying his head atop yours. Having no trouble at all. Your eyes closed. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too. Thank you… for the necklace. For tonight. ...for everything.” Was this an appropriate time to start spilling all that out? You were sure he knew, but… it never hurt. 

“If we’re about to start throwing out gratitudes, you’re gonna be out here all night listening to me go on.” Serving it right back to you. “Let’s just keep it simple, shall we?” 

“Mn.” Agreeing in a murmur. “We shall.” 

So, instead, in the way only he and you could, 

I love you. You let him know again. And in a space that contrasted the night you were sharing, bright as you went to him, and sort of just… laid your head on his shoulder there, too. Close as two people could be, you imagined. In whatever that was. You put your hand over his heart, and heard him inhale just somewhere over you. 

His voice returned to you, full, flush, and warm. I love you, too. 

For a brief moment the two of you not only existed together, but all together too fleeting, you seemed to share a space. And his heartbeat fell in line with yours. 

A night had never been so perfect. 

#Tony Stark #Tony Stark x Reader #INY Chapter Eighty

[emeraldwaves]

Title:  #pinkwall Chapter 13 (LAST CHAPTER) Pairing:  Promptis Rating: M Word Count:  1,163 Read on Ao3 Summary: As a last hurrah before graduating college, Prompto suggests he and Noctis take a road trip to L.A during their 2 week spring break. Prompto is desperate to snap pics in front of the infamous Pink Wall of Instagram and Noctis is hoping to finally confess his feelings for his best friend. Will either of them find what they’re looking for on their impromptu cross-country road trip?

Thank you to everyone who read this fic! I really appreciate all the support! Thank you to @liziscribbles for betaing this last chapter!!

Noctis holds the diploma in his hands. The booklet is light and he's surprised by how easily it is to carry.

"I'm proud of you, son." His father places a heavy hand on his shoulder, and Noctis can't help but crack a smile.

"Thanks, Dad," he says, brushing his finger over the name on the paper. His name.

He always imagined this day with a heavy heart; he thought he'd be nervous, uncertain of the future. He could imagine seeing his father, so proud and Noctis being unsure of how to answer. Now, a simple 'thanks' makes the most sense.

Admittedly, he's proud of himself too.

"You've come a long way."

He certainly has.

"I really am looking forward to working with you," Noctis says, and for once he means the words. They escape his lips easily, no hesitation, no reason to hold back.

"I am too. Though, I do want you to enjoy yourself this summer," Regis continues. He's thankful his father is so relaxed about him taking the summer off, before he eventually needs to join the real world.

"I think I will..." Noctis chuckles softly. He glances over to where Prompto stands with his parents. He's got his arms around them, laughing brightly. Though there are plenty of loud people chattering around him. Noctis can imagine the joyous sound and it warms his heart. Prompto pulls his parents in for a selfie and all of them are smiling now.

Prompto is glowing in the summer sun, full of life and energy he now shares with Noctis.

Noctis has never felt so damn lucky.

His father follows Noctis' gaze, and he pats his shoulder letting out a gentle chuckle. "I'll see you and Prompto at dinner, I presume? His parents as well?"

"Ah!" He jumps at the touch, and turns to look at his father with a nod. "Yeah, definitely!"

"Wonderful," Regis smiles. "I am proud of you for graduating, but I think I'm more proud you seem to have found your happiness. I'll have to thank Prompto later." He winks and Noctis feels his heart leap into his throat.

His father knows about the relationship between Noctis and Prompto, it's hard not to when Prompto has plenty of pictures of them plastered all over Instagram. Still, it makes him happy to have his father's support.

"You know, you don't have to thank him, it's fine," Noctis shakes his head.

"No, no, I think I must," Regis teases, nudging his son.

Noctis sighs. He won't ever be able to escape embarrassment, it seems. Though he doesn't mind sporting some flushed cheeks if it means getting to be with Prompto forever.

~~

"Ahhhhh," Prompto lets out a long sigh as he flops down on their couch. "I never wanna look at food again, I'm so stuffed!"

"You say that now, but tomorrow you're gonna be rummaging through the kitchen complaining that we need groceries," Noctis teases.

"I know, I know. But man that restaurant your Dad picked was fancy," he says. "Best food I've ever had hands down."

"Mmm," Noctis hums. He takes a seat on the couch next to Prompto, lacing their fingers together. "It's his favorite. I'm sure we'll go again."

"Yessssss," Prompto hisses, his head flopped back against the back of the couch.

It's only been a few months, but the apartment feels different, more... homey. Though their lives were already so intertwined, it feels like everything mingles together even more now. Shoes were strewn about in random order. Their video games were stacked together, not on separate shelves. Things didn't seem to matter as much after their trip. Already they've changed Noctis' old room into an office with space for photo shoots, both of them now sleeping in Prompto's bed.

All of it feels natural, like it was meant to happen.

Noctis supposes it really was a long time coming.

"I can't believe we graduated," Prompto says softly, looking up at their ceiling. "We have to be real adults now. Gross!" he laughs.

"I can't imagine you ever being a real adult," Noctis teases and gently nudges Prompto, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah, same," Prompto smiles and leans over to kiss Noctis cheek. "I definitely can't imagine us growing up."

"Nope, and hey, my Dad said I could have the summer off to do what I wanted so... I was thinking..." Noctis trails off, turning to look at Prompto. Maybe he'll catch on. He usually does.

His bright eyes seem to glow even more, and his mouth pulls into the widest smile Noctis thinks he's ever seen.

"Does this mean... what I think it means?!" he says and jumps up on the couch, leaning in closer to Noctis.

He chuckles, leaning towards Prompto, their noses just about touching. "What do you think it means?" he grins.

Prompto wiggles his eyebrows. "Europe?" he whispers quietly.

"Europe," Noctis nods.

"YES!" Prompto shouts, thrusting both of his hands up into the air! "I'm gonna go pack right now!"

"Okay, but... we haven't even decided all the places we're going to go!" Noctis laughs. Prompto is so damn cute when he gets so excited like this; it's half the reason he wants to go to Europe with him.

Plus, it'll be fun to be on a trip as a couple, instead of being a pining idiot the whole goddamn time.

"It doesn't matter! We're going together and I love you!" Prompto blurts it out and Noctis feels his face burn red.

"I love you too..."

Prompto smiles. "I gotta say, I'm happy we have longer than two weeks! A whole summer in Europe!"

"Yup! And no car," Noctis sighs. "It'll be nice to not have to drive your ass around everywhere."

"Does this mean you'll be less grouchy?" Prompto teases, nudging Noctis' side.

"Hopefully," he snorts. Not to mention, he won't have years worth of feelings completely bottled up inside.

"I can't wait! It's going to be the best trip ever. Or well... second best trip. I don't know if anything will beat L.A."

"Really? You think Europe won't be as good as L.A?" Noctis asks, raising his eyebrow.

"I mean... L.A. is special," Prompto whispers. "It's where we had our first kiss." He says it so shyly, like it's a secret he shouldn't speak of. His cheeks are flushed red as he thinks back on the moment.

Damn, Noctis loves him so much.

"You're right, it is," Noctis says.

"But hey! We're going to make Europe really special too!" Prompto smiles, lighting up the whole room, making Noctis' heart swell.

Prompto is literally the cutest person Noctis has ever come across and he doesn't truly know how to handle it.

So, Noctis kisses him.

"Hell yeah, we are," Noctis. mutters.

He cups his cheek and brushes his thumb over the freckles on Prompto's skin, pressing their lips together again. Prompto is warm and feels like home.

No matter where they go, Prompto will always to feel like home.

#promptis #prompto argentum #Noctis Lucis Caelum #FFXV #pinkwall

[cassielavery]

Christmas 2019

Christmas is the one day of the year that it isn’t completely odd for Benjy to wake up before Cass. Not completely odd but still a bit jarring for Cass to reach out to his left just as he’s starting to blink awake and not find his husband, snoring quietly into his pillow. But as it is 7:36am on December 25, 2019, according to the digital alarm clock on their dresser, Benjy will most assuredly be in the kitchen, either fussing over the finishing touches to the gifts Cass isn’t allowed to help wrap or frantically putting more easy-bake sugar cookies in the oven because the four dozen they decorated with Luke last night won’t be enough for some reason.

Cass smiles at the memory of last night, their first Christmas Eve with Luke. They’d kept it low-key, of course, staying in pajamas all day, only leaving the house to take Darling and Honey outside. At one point, Luke had insisted that they order pizza and hate-watch The Phantom Menace, which was apparently a tradition he had with his little brother Jake. Of course Cass and Benjy had found that out completely by accident when Luke let it slip when Jar-Jar Binks made his first appearance.

“Jake used to loooove Jar-Jar,” he laughs from where he’s stretched out on the couch before glancing over at Cass watching him and clamping his mouth shut.

Neither of them press, Cass eventually turning from his nephew to face the screen but more focused on tracing Benjy’s fingers when Luke speaks up again.

“We used to watch this every year,” he says quietly, his gaze focused on Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi entering the underwater Gungan city. “Christmas break is the one time I’d watch it with him.”

“That’s cute, Luke,” Cass smiles at him and Luke shrugs but a small grin tugs on his lips as he pets Darling curled next to him. Jake was the youngest of Cyrus and Rebecca’s three children, three years younger than Luke and obviously the one ally he had in that house. He didn’t talk much about any of them but Cass had seen a framed photo on his desk of Luke with his arm slung around a slightly smaller clone of himself who he assumes must be Jake. Both boys are smiling ear to ear with Jake gazing up at his big brother with clear admiration in his eyes.

“Yeah, cute that your brother likes the worst character in the Star Wars franchise,” Benjy pipes up, frowning at the television and interrupting Cass’ train of thought.

Luke sticks out his tongue at him. “This coming from a guy who’s favorite ‘film’ takes about an hour to start.”

And it pretty much went downhill from there.

Eventually, Cass forces himself to get out of bed if not for the need to tend to his bladder but out of curiosity to see what exactly Benjy is up to and whether Luke has even woken up yet. However, the bladder does have to come first. As well as putting on pants and a sweatshirt just in case his nephew is up.

When he makes his way downstairs to the kitchen, he sees them before they see him and the sudden warmth in his chest is overwhelming. His husband, his favorite person in the world leans against the kitchen island, his pink kimono thrown over navy blue pajama pants covered with dogs in Santa hats, frowning slightly as he talks to Luke who laughs and flips more pancakes onto a platter between them. Dark curls peeking out from underneath his hood and perpetual dark circles under his eyes, Cass is once again reminded of himself at that age. Except he didn’t smile nearly as much.

Thankfully, that changed.

Luke is just about to say something else to Benjy when he catches sight of Cass lurking in the doorway and if possible, his smile actually grows wider.

“Morning, Cass!”

At Luke’s greeting, Benjy springs up, followed by Honey who had been apparently just out of sight behind the island, and bounds over to Cass to fling his arms around his neck. He could live a hundred years and still never understand what he did to be the object of Benjy Fenwick’s affections.

“Look up.”

Cass lets out a fake exasperated groan and leans forward to press his forehead to Benjy’s, giggling a little as Honey bites at his sweatpants. “Don’t wanna.” Why look up when those star eyes already have everything he wants to see?

Benjy scrunches up his nose and dodges Cass’ attempt to steal a kiss. “Look up first.”

Cass hums, settling for a kiss on the cheek before finally relenting. “Let me see, it couldn’t possibly be...ah.”

Sure enough, a sprig of mistletoe hangs above them in the kitchen entryway. Identical to every other doorway in the house down to the perfect red bow that secures it in place.

“You’re a menace,” he grins back down at his beaming husband.

“Yes, but I’m your menace.”

“Thank god for that.”

This time, when he dips down for a kiss, Benjy returns it enthusiastically and Cass practically lifts him off the ground. Only to be interrupted by their nephew loudly clearing his throat.

“Just wanted to make sure you remembered I was still here,” he smirks, flipping more pancakes onto the platter.

“Mmm, couldn’t forget you if we tried, Luke,” Cass grins, giving Benjy another peck on the cheek and scooping up Honey for a quick kiss before letting her go off to bother Darling in her bed in the corner. In spite of not being able to spring up with the rest of them anymore, her tail still wags happily when Cass bends over to scratch her ears and whisper a soft Merry Christmas into her fur

“And God knows we have tried.”

“Oh shush, you,” Cass laughs, rolling his eyes at Benjy as he crosses the kitchen to give Luke a one-armed hug and yanks his hood down to kiss his sleep-mussed hair. “Merry Christmas, kid. Pancakes look delicious.”

Even that small praise makes Luke’s cheeks glow red as he works the spatula around the last few rounds of batter speckled with red and green M&M’s. “I think there’s still some coffee on. If Benj didn’t drink all of it.”

“I don’t know whether to be proud or offended that you think I have the capacity to drink two carafes already this morning,” Benjy says, resuming his position at the end of the island. “Even I have limits.”

“Mm sure,” Cass chuckles and gives Luke another squeeze before going off to see if indeed there was any coffee left. “So what were you two talking about all serious just now?”

“Oh I was just telling Luke that all the presents under the tree are actually for another Luke we know,” Benjy shrugs as he snags a pancake and takes a bite. “You know, let him down easy.”

“Ah right, sorry, Luke.”

“Right, and I told Benj that I don’t even mind if I don’t get any presents because that’s not what Christmas is about.”

“And then I called him a liar.”

“You called our nephew a liar?”

Benjy shrugs as he finishes off the pancake in his hand in two bites. “He’s 16. What else could Christmas be about?”

“Goodwill towards men perhaps?” Luke pipes up dryly.

“Oh,” Benjy grins wickedly at Cass. “I know all about goodwill towards men.”

“Benjy!”

This, this is what Cass lives for these days. The playful bickering between his husband and his nephew. Honey climbing on top of Darling only to roll off of her and get up in her face to bump noses as if to check that this is still acceptable before starting the cycle all over again. Even light blue mug in his hands, painted by Zane for his birthday last year. It’s everything.

They soon all go into the living room, each with a plate of their own, and pile onto the couch for presents, the majority of which, of course, are labeled for Luke. The matter of presents actually had been a hot topic of discussion for Cass and Benjy since the beginning of November. They’d missed fifteen Christmases and sixteen birthdays along with countless other milestones that could never be duplicated, but they still wanted to mark their first Christmas together while remembering those moments they’d lost. It was hard to think about that part of all this. Obviously, Cass had figured that Cyrus and Rebecca would have children but had accepted long ago that he and Benjy would never be in their lives. He had been more than happy to just give all the love he could give to the kids whose lives he did get to be a part of.

But now, he gets to grin at his nephew, the son of his brother who told his kids that he was dead, and nods toward the tree.

“Well, go on.”

Instead, Luke balks, tapping his fingers against his plate and chewing on his lip before standing back up suddenly and setting his plate of barely touched pancakes on the coffee table. “I uh have to get something.” He gives Cass a nervous smile. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh.” Cass glances at Benjy, who just raises his eyebrows at him, and looks back at Luke. “Okay. Whatever you gotta do.”

They both watch as Luke dashes up the stairs to his room, Cass slumping back into Benjy’s arms the moment he’s out of sight. “He’s okay, right?”

“Baby, he just went to go get something,” Benjy says gently, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I know, I know. I just-I don’t want to miss anything, with it being, you know, the first Christmas...”

“And you’ve literally done everything so we don’t miss anything.”

Cass cranes his neck back to look Benjy in the eye, needing that extra reassurance when it comes to Luke sometimes. That they’re doing everything they can to undo the hurt that seems to come from being a member of the Avery family. “Yeah?”

Benjy smiles and rubs Cass’ shoulder, his voice dropping as they hear Luke on the stairs again. “Yeah.”

Cass tries not to let his surprise show when he comes back into the room with his laptop clutched to his chest, radiating nervous energy as he opens it up on the coffee table.

“I um didn’t wanna wait anymore,” Luke grins at Benjy over Cass’ shoulder.

“Good, because I’ve been barely holding it together over here.”

“What are you-?” Cass sits up to look between Benjy and Luke, nearly giving himself whiplash in the process. “Wait for what?”

Benjy just grins at him while Luke busies himself with pulling up something on his computer before focusing on his uncle.

“I wanted to make sure I said all the things that I wanted to say.”

Cass nods slowly, as if that is supposed to mean something to him. “Right, sure.”

“Because I know I won’t say it right if I say it now,” Luke explains, wringing his hands together, or Cass supposes he would be explaining if he had any clue what was going on here.

“You can tell us anything, Luke,” he replies carefully, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded in front of him. “You know that.”

Luke smiles and sits down on the floor in front of the couch. “I do.”

Before Cass can say anything else, Luke presses the spacebar on the laptop and a sheet of paper with the words “TO CASS LOVE LUKE” written on it in red ink appears on the screen. After a few seconds, the sheet of paper drops away to reveal Luke in a green flannel and black beanie sitting at his desk in his bedroom and smiling at the webcam.

“Um, hey Cass...and Benjy, since I guess you’d be there too,” video Luke chuckles and waves at them. “Um...I’ll try to keep this short so I don’t uh cry or something, but I had a few things that I wanted to say...and then something I wanted to ask you and I wanted to do it right...if I could.”

Video Luke swallows, glancing off-camera, and Cass glances at real Luke, his hands clenched tight together under his chin.

“It’s been kind of a weird year,” video Luke says, this time his laugh an obvious effort to disguise the emotion in his throat. “I suppose that’s putting it lightly, but weird by our standards might be a little different than families that uh aren’t ours. Well...I guess they technically aren’t ours anymore anyway.”

Video Luke shakes his head and quickly swipes at his eyes. “Fuck, what did I literally just say? This is the third time...geez, okay, get it together!”

He scrubs his hands down his face, clears his throat, and stares evenly into the camera.

“I’m just gonna keep that all in there and we don’t have to talk about it,” he huffs a small laugh. “But um, the point is, that’s what I came from...to you. And it could have been, I mean let’s be real, I didn’t really know anything about you, you didn’t know anything about me. This could have been just disaster compounding on disaster. But uh...it wasn’t.” Video Luke looks away from the camera again, shy smile spread across his face with a few lingering tears just barely visible on his cheeks. “It was everything. It is everything.”

“Oh my god, kid.” Cass hears Benjy’s hushed voice and catches him squeeze Luke’s shoulder out of the corner of his eye, but he’s frozen in place, hinged on every word Luke says in the video.

“So, um, you made this a home for me within like, days of me being here,” video Luke continues, “I can’t imagine that was easy...because of all people, you know...you know better than anyone what it could be like so...I guess that leads me to my question.”

He pauses as he reaches for something out of sight, the sound of papers rustling over the speakers, and lifts a sizable stack so Cass can just make out the words in bold across the top of the first page.

STATE OF CALIFORNIA APPLICATION FOR ADOPTION REGISTRATION

When the same stack of papers are set in his lap, Cass finally tears his gaze away from the computer to look at his nephew, only realizing now that he has tears in his eyes and Benjy is gripping his hand in that secure way that always keeps him grounded.

“I know I only have like less than two years until I’m an adult and she already legally emancipated me and whatever but,” Luke shrugs, “I guess I’d rather have a family. With you guys. So...will you adopt me?”

Everything Cass wants say gets stuck in his throat, coming out as a weird strangled noise instead that makes Luke smile.

“Is that okay, Uncle Cass?”

Is that okay? Jesus Christ, what could possibly be more okay? He didn’t think he’d ever feel like this again, after Benjy and he ran off to city hall to get married moments after it was announced on TV that gay marriage was legalized. Another person expressing such unconditional trust in him--it’s too much but Cass wants more than anything to be worthy of it. Not trying to speak this time, he sets the papers aside for now and sinks onto his knees in front of Luke, who is now crying a little bit too. There’s a split moment of recognition between the two of them, even with their vision blurry from tears. He was in this same position once, cease and desist notice wrinkling in his fist, leaning heavily against the counter as his knees threaten to give out tight and dialing the number of the one person who’d given him so much hope in a few short months and now needed him to get him out of his deepest hole yet. Luke’s younger than Cass was, but now he gets to put so much ugly hurt behind him, not forgotten but healing, and Cass and Benjy get to help him start anew.

With a shaky gulp of air, Cass grabs the teenager in a tight hug right there on the floor, cupping the back of his head as he breaks down against his chest. They stay like that for several seconds, Cass rocking Luke side to side and rubbing his back through his sobs, his lips pressed to the side of his head. He glances over at Benjy, tears streaming down his cheeks as well, and reaches for his hand again, only speaking again when Luke has calmed a little against him.

“You knew?” he asks his husband with a watery smile.

“Yeah.” Benjy lets out a choked laugh, his finger tracing over Cass’ wedding ring. “I told him it might be nice to have someone to take care of us when we’re old.”

“I didn’t think that far ahead yet,” Cass chuckles, resituating himself and Luke so Luke can lean against him while Cass gets off his knees that are already starting to ache.

“Yeah, well I’ve had more time to think it over, Cassie,” Benjy grins as he scoots off the couch to join them on the floor. “And I have to tell you that I think the pros greatly outweigh the cons here.”

“Mm, I think you’re right,” Cass smiles and looks down at Luke who is watching both of them, still a little teary-eyed and clutching onto Cass as if Cass had any intention of letting him go anytime soon. “You’re perfect for us.”

“That’s exactly what I said.”

“So Luke?” Cass gently swipes his thumb under his nephew’s right eye.

“Yeah?”

“You wouldn’t by chance happen to have a pen on you, would you?”

#drabble #benjy #luke #christmas 2019

[rfsak2]

Blood

Here ya guys go!! It is a bit short but I’m running low on ideas so don’t forget to leave a suggestion!!

Blood Summary: Not maybe their choice, but definitely their benefit. Jack/Reader Warnings: None

“So Mom…” She took a deep breath and Jack squeezed her hand. “I’m pregnant!”

There was a long pause and then her mom’s voice was tinny as it came through the speakerphone. “Wait… really?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, really.”

“I thought you were taking birth control?”

Her heart froze in her chest. “I was. We decided that we wanted to have a child so I went off of it.”

“Why? You’re so young- Am I on speaker?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” Y/N sighed and squeezed Jack’s hand. “Mom, I’m not that young anymore. We’re both thirty and we’ve both got successful careers and honestly, I didn’t want to want anymore.”

Her mom sighed. “You didn’t want to wait to have a baby but you wanted to wait to get married? That doesn’t make sense.”

“We’re getting married, mom, probably really soon-”

“Without us?” Her mom sounded like she was going to cry.

“No, of course not. We’re settling on when we’re free and then we were going to talk to you and Jack’s folks and see when we could do it. It’s just not going to be too complicated of an affair. We’re thinking just the families, a small group of our friends, a pastor and a photographer. Then we’d go get dinner or something. I just don’t have time to plan a wedding.”

“But you have time for a baby? That doesn’t make sense!”

“It does though. It really does. I make time for family, don’t I? We talk three or four times a week, Jack and I were there for when Emma was born and Thanksgiving every year. I make time for family but neither Jack nor I have the time or energy to put into planning something like that. I’d rather just marry Jack with my family and have an easy night. No muss no fuss.”

There was a long pause and then her mom sighed. “Okay.” She breathed deep. “If this is what you want then we support you, of course… and of course, Jack, we love you so much, you know that.”

Jack smiled, mouth pressed against her shoulder. “I know, Mom. I love ye, too.”

“How far along are you?”

Y/N smiled. “Just a month. We just got back from the doctor’s.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

Her mom laughed. “Yeah, I had pretty bad morning sickness with both you and your brother. Payback’s a bitch.”

**

Her mom fretted over the dress, making sure the bow laid right and the lining wasn’t getting twisted up underneath the lace overlay. Jack’s mum stood just off to the side, already tearing up and holding her flowers.

Y/N smiled brilliantly and grabbed her mom’s hands. “Why are you so nervous, Mom? It’s all okay.”

She nodded. “I know, I know. I’m so happy for you, baby. I just can’t believe my baby is getting married-” She turned to Jack’s mum. “-to your baby!”

“Aye, bu’ they’re a bonnie couple, wouldn’t ye say so? An’ so good to each other.”

Her mom smiled. “I agree. I’m so proud of you and Jack, baby. You’ve both grown up so well.”

Her dad poked her head into the bedroom of the honeymoon cabin. “You ready, pretty girl?” He grinned and sighed. “You look so beautiful, little girl!”

She smiled. “Thank you, daddy.”

He kissed her cheek and Jack’s dad popped his head in. “Och, but yer a gorgeous bride, aren’t ye! Jack is gonna faint on seein’ ye.” He kissed her cheek as well. “I’m here te grab me wife. Gotta go sit, lassie.”

Jack’s mum hugged her, kissed her cheek and then pinched her. “Ye do look a vision, lass. See ye outside.”

“‘Course, mum.” She took her flowers and nearly squealed in excitement. Today was the day! Her mother hugged her and kissed both of her cheeks.

“I love you and I love Jack and I love little baby Lowden.”

“We love you too, Mom.”

Her brother was the next to visit, coming to collect her mother. “Time to go, Momzilla.” He pecked Y/N on the forehead. “Knock ‘em dead, baby girl.” He grinned. “You’re gonna drop out when you see him. Gotta say, I was skeptical about the kilt, but he cuts an impressive figure.”

Her dad came to stand by her side and pulled her into a one-armed hug. “I’m glad you found him, little girl. He’s a good man and he loves you fiercely. I’m glad my baby girl is taken care of.”

She smiled and leaned into her father. “Me too, daddy.”

When she rounded the side of the ruined keep and caught her first glimpse of Jack, she immediately started crying. He grinned broadly at her, dimples on display. He had suggested shaving but she’d nixed the idea. No, just the way he was was what she wanted.

All of it.

Bearded, Scottish and looking so fine in his kilt that she fell in love all over again. She was also extraordinarily glad that they had decided to forego anything crazy and just have a small dinner.

She couldn’t wait to get him alone.

He wiped minutely at his eyes and smiled again at her, mouthing, beautiful.

**

“So Angus, y’ken him. He’s gonna be yer best mate. I bought ‘im fer yer mum when she ferst moved to London ‘cause I didn’t want ‘er in th’flat by ‘erself when I was off filmin’ an’ such.” He looked down at the peacefully sleeping baby wrapped in a tartan baby blanket. “Yer gonna love ‘im and he already loves ye.” Jack chuckled, patting the dog’s head. “He doesn’t sleep in our room like he used te. I find him sleepin’ by yer bassinet e’ery mornin’. He’s a good boy.”

Jack opened the door to the conservatory, letting Angus out first. “This is th’conservatory, yer mum’s favorite room by far. She spends jus’ about e’ery mornin’ in ‘ere drinkin’ her tea an’ readin’. She’s th’only person me age, besides yer Uncle Tom, tha’ actually still prefers te read th’print paper rather than th’online. By th’time yer old enough te read I’m sure they won’t even print it anymore.” He took a seat facing out over the back garden, adjusting the baby against his chest. “Yer th’luckiest boy eva ‘cause yer mum is the sweetest, kindest, smartest person I know. An’ she’s beautiful, so beautiful, I love ‘er so much and e’en more so now that she’s given me ye. I’m a lucky bugger, fer sure.

“Out there is th’back garden. We’ll go out there another time ‘cause it’s a wet day an’ I don’t wanna ge’ ye sick. I reckon, yer mum will be up soon, she never did sleep late. Ye’ll probably laugh in a couple years when we tell ye all th’times yer mum, or even me mum, had te wake me from a dead sleep.” He smiled and the baby kept sleeping, lulled by his father’s deep brogue.

“I’m so ‘appy, ‘appier then I’ve eva been and I love ye, me lad. I dunno if I eva thought it possible te love someone other than yer mum this much. Ye make gettin’ up easy if only te ge’ te spend the quiet mornin’ wit’ ye an’ make yer mum’s day a bit easier. She’s a bluidy superhuman honestly. Did ye ken tha’ th’day she had ye she had made all’a yer uncles breakfast an’ then come up te tell me? Yeah… and then she insisted tha’ it wasn’t time te go te hospital and we stayed a’home fer three more hours. I’m shakin’ like a leaf an’ I’m nervous, sweatin’ an’ she jus’ readin’ her paper an’ drinkin’ water. Yer Uncle Harry drove us te hospital ‘cause there was no way tha’ I was goin’ te be able te focus. Yer mum jus’ held me hand an’ she’d squeeze it jus’ a li’l bit e’ery time she’d have one a’those contractions. No screamin’ like ye see in th’movies. Pure strength. Bluidy Wonder Woman, tha’ woman.”

Family Up Next: Noses

#jack lowden #jack lowden imagines #jack lowden/reader

[bangchansbbg3-blog]

Stray Kids fluff - Chan watches your hockey game

Chan had been pestering you all week, day after day. After finding out that you played competitive hockey, he began questioning you about the sport, eager to learn as much as he could. At first, you found it endearing how excited he was, Apparently, hockey was much less common in Korea, and the fact that he knew someone who played at a high level was a rarity. Eventually, after a week of begging, you gave in to Chan’s request, and allowed him to come watch one of your games. You were nervous, your parents and friends had watched dozens of your games, but Chan? You wanted to impress him, you wanted him to be wowed by the sport and fall in love with it the same way you did.

Sunday rolled around and it was game day. You had woken up to the smell of toast and scrambled eggs, placed by your bedside by none other than Chan himself, who had said that ‘carbs were a great source of energy’ and to ‘eat up’. You giggled at your boyfriends consideration while throwing on a dry fit shirt and track pants, all in your team colours. Chan emerged from the bathroom, ready to go.

“Oh my god Channie, is that face paint?”

He responded with a dimpled smile, red paint smearing slightly.

“I borrowed one of your lipsticks” he laughed, wiping a bit off, only to dot it onto the tip of your nose. “I wanted to show some team spirit”

“You’re the worst and the best”

He broke out into a fit of giggles, before grabbing your bag and stick, opening the door, and lowering himself into a bow.

“Champions first” he said dramatically.

“Why thank you kind sir” you responded, giving a bow of your own.

You arrived at the arena a few minutes early, Chan kissed your forehead good luck and headed for the stands, where he sat down among the tens of spectators here to watch your game.

You jogged to your dressing room and got dressed, chatting with your teammates while tying your skates.

The breeze you felt while skating warmup laps was refreshing and you looked over to Chan, who waved frantically and yelled

“Who’s the spaz?” Asked one of your teammates.

“That’s my boyfriend Chan” you said, waving back. “He’s pretty excited, he doesn’t watch much hockey”

“He’s cute” said another. “You’re lucky, my boyfriend thinks that soccer is the superior sport”

“How dare he” you laughed, before turning to go line up. You looked over at Chan right before the puck dropped and you’d never seen him so focused, his forehead was scrunched in anticipation and his eyes widened when the ref blew the whistle. It was adorable.

The game flew by, it was a rough match, the other team had been pushy, and by the end of the game, you had already received and given few shoves, much to Chan’s concern. Ultimately, your team came out on top, winning by three goals. It had been a good match, and you were proud of how you’d played; you scored two goals, both of which Chan had lost it for.

After the game had ended, you rushed out of the dressing room and ran over to Chan.

Jumping into his arms, you felt his firm grip on your waist as he spun you around, kissing you on the lips as a congratulations. If this was the congrats you would receive everytime you played, Chan could attend as many games as he pleases.

“Chan I’m all sweaty” you laughed, forehead pressed to his.

“That was so cool y/n!” He yelled into your ear, unable to contain his excitement. “The way you skated around that defensemen when you scored and your shot, wow, it was incredible!

Chan was getting out of breath between carrying you and yelling in your ear, so he put you down as he began to walk to the car, continuing his hockey-induced rant.

“You were so fast! I’ve never watched hockey live, only on YouTube, and even then, it doesn’t measure up to you!” He took a breath, turning to stare at you from the drivers seat.

“So you liked it” you said giggling, running a finger through his hair. “I’m glad”

“Liked it? I loved it. But there is one thing.”

His face turned serious.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, ever, that game was pretty rough, and I don’t want my babygirl getting injured or-“

You cut him off with a kiss, causing him to blush. He tried to deepen the kiss, before remembering that you two were still driving, unfortunately.

“Don’t worry Channie, I’ll stay safe just for you” you put a hand on his knee. “But you of all people know, I like it roug-“

“Y/n, I was just trying to talk about safety. Why are you like this.” He laughed, kissing your cheek.

“One more thing babe” he said. “Can you teach me a few tricks or something? I wanna learn how to handle the puck”

“Of course I will Channie, anything for you.” You paused. “But you’ve gotta promise me one thing”

“What’s that?”

“No more using my lipstick as face paint, that stuff is expensive”

He laughed again, this time grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze.

“I won’t”

“I love you Channie”

“I love you more y/n”

(Sorry for the bad grammar and spelling, I wrote this in a car on the way to a tournament)

#stray kids #skz #stray kids blog #skz blog #stray kids chan #skz chan #stray kids bangchan #skz bangchan #stray kids chris #skz chris #stray kids writing #skz writing #stray kids drabbles #skz drabble #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #i love stray kids #stay #stays #stray kids x reader #chan x reader

[autumnpawtribe]

Seeking the Raptorblood - Tiny, Part 3 - May we never meet again

When Vol came in, Xiao had already taken the liberty to clean the gunk off of the newborn and then properly swaddle her. He was now quietly cooing and murmuring to her as he cradled her close. "How is the proud father?" He asked with a smile, blushing a bit at Vol's comment. It was then he noticed the box. "What's in that little box?" Curiosity was obvious in his eyes, that habit certain not having died down.

"Ah didnt do shit, an ja know et.  She like ja more den me."  The Hunter shrugged, ignoring the box and moving to pick up his mate and the whining little troll in his arms.  "Not know.  Last gift ah be tinkin'."  He moved to seat them all on the bed, not the one that looked up at the stars, but one big enough to hold them all for a cuddle.  The blue skinned hunter curled up around his little family, smiling.  "How da proud ... Ah gonna be Papa.  What she gonna call, Ja?"

Xiao just grinned up at him, offering him the little bundle before crawling into bed beside him. It didn't take more than a moment for him to snuggle up against Vol and kiss at his chest happily, nuzzling against him. "Celestials I have missed you so much..." He murmured before sighing in content. "Hm... what is she going to call me?" He pondered for a moment. "What about Ba? It means father in my language. Well, dad, daddy, dada, father, papa... It is a catch all, but it is different than papa?" He asked hopefully, kissing Vol's chest again before looking down at Tiny and and kissing the top of her little head too.

Vol smirked, laying down to let the whining baby and his mate rest on him.  "Ba et be den.  How da proud new Ba doin', hmm?". He pulled Xiao close and kissed the top of his head.  "She gonna need ta eat soon, an all dat.  Ja an'ah gonna need ta do da same.  Naddja too.  Need energy, an a nap.  Den we talk about tings, hmm?"

Xiao nodded happily. "I am... doing incredible. I have you, I have our beautiful baby girl..." He shook his head as he grinned. "This is everything I had hoped for." He closed his eyes and nuzzled into Vol's neck. "I went around the world to find you... I would do it again a million times if it meant being here with you and our daughter in this moment." His voice was quiet, filled with emotion. It was starkly apparent how much this all meant to him now.

"Ja get ta tell me da story soon enough den.  And she gonna need a sibling.". He was matter of fact about it as the tiny troll whimper and moved her face around.  "Hungry ting."  He spoke a word or two in Zandali, kissed Xiao again and rolled with her to get up.  "Come, we talk, she eat.  Should be goat's milk en da cold box.".  Dutiful father that he was, Vol still pressed a kiss to his mate's nose.  "Need ta check on Naddja too.  Make sure all ok.  Come den.".  The small order was meant for Xaio to follow him. Xiao blushed happily at the mention of a sibling. "A sibling, huh?" He couldn't help but to grin before getting up to follow after his love as he made his way out of the room. "Do you want me to get the milk or check on Naddja? I figure we can divide and conquer." As he was walking behind Vol, uncertain of what was about to come over him, but he did it anyway. He reached out and let that hand squeeze one of those muscular cheeks as Vol walked, having missed even just casual touches with his mate, especially on that lovely ass.

"Ah get da milk, ja get 'er settled, we eat dinnah.   What ah know bout babies, dey eat, sleep, an shit.". The troll felt the touch and growled a bit.   "Ja jus' come home, witness ja daughtah born, now ja teasing me.   Someone gonna get spanked fer dat.".  The troll grabbed what looked like a sling and threw it over his shoulder.   Nestling the girl inside and opening the door, Vol stopped to lift his mate's face to his own.  "She sleep, we gonna talk bout ja punishment fer bein' gone.". With that, he wandered towards the kitchen, leaving Xiao to his task.

Xiao bit back a giggle at Vol's reaction, smiling happily at his mate as his face was lifted to his mate's. The smile faded, however. "Punishment?" He asked a bit sheepishly now, sounding uncertain. He bit his lip. "I... will go tend to Naddja." With that, he slinked off to her room, looking a bit less bouncy now.

When Xiao arrived, the color and energy had returned to Naddja's form.  She was lacing up the last of her armor, stretching out.  She looked as if the day she had met Vol, all traces of recent birth gone and looking the slender masculine troll he had bedded months ago.   Xiao would see how much not she was built like a male.   She was built like an elf but not quite as bulky.  There were no curves, only a straight outline to the form that was his daughter's dam. "Xiao keep secret?  Heard baby need milk.  Goats good for milk.". She smiled, grabbing her ornate staff and slinging it on her back.  "Time for Naddja go home."

Xiao nodded a bit sadly. "Yes, I keep secret... until you leave, like you said." He sighed quietly. "Are you... sure about this? You should at least stay a little longer, until morning. The pressure points are blocked off for now, but once they re-open the muscle pain is going to hit you. You really should be laying down when that pain comes."

"Sure.  Doubts...". She should her head negatively.  "No see Baby.  Want home. Not far.". She lifted a leather string around her neck with her hearthstone on the end.  "No stay Xiao.  Naddja not know why Xiao want Naddja stay.  No understand.".   She stood closer, smiling.  "Naddja help." Doing something neither the hunter nor Monk knew she could do, she knelt and pressed her forehead to Xiao's.  "This is known only by the raptari.  Another secret you must keep.  Your daughter is in safer hands with you and yours.   My mate will kill her, as a lion will do to a cub that is not his.   He and I will never speak on the child again.  To me, she must be dead.  To you, make her your life.  I drugged your mate, I forced a drunk Mon to lie with me and encouraged nature to take hold.  It was wrong of me.  I have a duty to find another, a true Zandalari this time, and have him father a child to begin my own family.  Please, if anything, tell her I died in childbed, giving her life.   I will not forget her.  I will never know her name, nor see her face.  I must be content with that.  Please, understand these things.  I will take the money promised, but expect it back in some way.  I feel wrong about it, but that farseer demanded it so I wouldn't return.  I have no intention of it.  Love your child, for her mother's love is something she will never know." With that she pulled away, smiling as she wiped a tear from her eyes.  "Love Tiny.  Make sure Tiny get good name?"

As she knelt before him, he hugged her gently, nodding once more. "I understand, Naddja... I just want to see you safe. Regardless of what you did, I can see the love for this girl in your eyes. It... is a strength I could never imagine, being as strong as you are being right now. She will get the very best life we can give her, I swear." He held up a finger now. "I have an idea, wait here." With that, he hurried out of the room and grabbed something from his pack before bringing it back in. It was one of his magically sealed jugs of tea, the gentle teal glow coming from it making it obvious it was infused with Chi. "Here, drink this when the pain starts. It will not work as well as the pressure point block did, but... it should help dull the pain and give you strength to, well, not want to collapse. It's the least I can do." Doing as asked, she drink, smiling as her soreness subsided a bit more.  "Naddja thank.  Hope Xiao an Vol'raka be happy with Tiny.".  She stood, gave a sad smile and touched the stone on her neck. With that she was gone.  The sheets still stained and the mattress clawed, she'd left the only remnants of Tiny's birth in three clay jars by the window. "We will, Naddja..." Then she was gone, leaving the Pandaren to sigh quietly and head back out to the kitchen to find his mate. "She left, Vol. It is just the three of us now." He seemed noticeably sad, despite this being one of the happiest days of his life. It'd likely leave Vol with some questions. The hunter turned to his mate, tilting his head as he stopped singing.  He'd been sitting in a chair, the girl happily devouring her first meal as he was letting her get used to his voice in Zandali.  "Gonna teach 'er Zandali, an Pandaren.  Orcish too.  Ah be knowin' she gonna leave soon as she can be.  She not wanna be a ma'da.". The troll smiled, looking down at their daughter.  "Nevah tink ah be a fa'da, but kinda like et.  She cute, even ef she a puffy lil ting.". His face turned up at Xiao's saddened tone.  "Ja ok love?  Ja ...  Subdued.  Et be ovahwhelmin?  Ja not had time ta accept all dis."

Xiao offered a sad smile and shook his head. "No, it is not our beautiful little girl, I love her already. Just..." He sighed now. "We need to talk, Vol. She... made me promise not to tell you until she left, so I guess I should tell you now." He bit his lip, pacing back and forth, obviously nervous now.

"Promise what?". The giant of a troll stood, pointing at a chair as the infant in the sling fell into her first nap.  "Ja sit an hold er.  Mebe she calm ja down.  Ah get dinnah togethah.". He waited for Xiao to sit as he pulled the tiny girl out of the woolen carrier.  "Kit say ef we not calm she be a fussy ting.   Dat what da book be sayin' too.  Ah read a lot of da books on babies en da Cove library." Xiao sat down in the chair, holding his arms out and then cradling her against his chest once Vol gave her to him. "Hm, actually..." He set her down carefully in his lap, making sure to raise his knees a bit so she was at an incline that rolled down toward him rather than way; preventing her from rolling off of his lap. He took his vest off and then pulled her back into his arms again, letting her face rest against his bare furred chest. "I heard skin to skin, or in this case skin to fur contact is also really good. I know more about the care than I do about actual birthing, thankfully." He said with a small nervous chuckle as he looked down to her.

"Vol... this all did not play out as you think it did. Naddja told me, she made me promise not to tell you until she left. " He sighed. "Her not caring, not wanting to be apart of her daughter's life, not wanting to see her... it was all a lie. It... killed her inside. She was sobbing last night, broke down and told me that she couldn't keep it a secret anymore. She drugged you, Vol. She made you more... willing to bed her. That is why when your relative tried to stop you, you were not having it." He shook his head, not being able to look at his mate as if it were somehow his fault. "Her mate cannot make a baby, I don't know if he has... troubles down there or if it is just a fertility issue, she didn't say. You look like him, apparently. She wanted a baby for them, but... her mate, he is Zandalari as well. He considered her a... a mongrel, she wasn't pureblood because you are Darkspear. He said he would kill it if she didn't get rid of it. She... can't be around, she can't have a relationship. It killed her, but... she did it for the safety of our little girl. She did not even want the money, she only took it because of Kit's insistence. She made me promise not to tell you until you left, I tried to make her change her mind, I am sorry..." He cuddled his face against their newborn now, hiding it from his mate to mask his sadness. Xiao's words made Vol stop dishing out the Kimchi and riceballs that had been left for them.  His head slowly turned as he listened, not sure that he was absorbing anything.  He looked back down, eyes trained on the wooden platter of food. "She say 'er mate's name?". The sentence was said with hate and loathing, the troll scowling deeply as their dinner was abandoned.  "Ah knew something be right... Just....".  He didn't seem to know what to say, how to react.  There was anger, sadness, betrayal and sorrow on his face, all shifting slowly through his eyes.  "She make a choice.  Er mate be more important den 'er blood.  Ja be important to me as dat lil girl, an ah die fer both of ja, et come down ta et.".  This why he hated lying, omitting things.  "Ah'd have nevah fucked er.  Touched er...". His head turned back to Xiao, looking between his mate and the little fussy baby who apparently liked to snuggle in fluffy Pandaren fur. "She dead.  Tiny gonna be told she dead.  Cept with one thing,..   ja know da mons name?"

"Aket... His name is Aket. At least that is what she told me." He hugged Tiny closer, cooing to her with bittersweet little noises. "Please don't be mad... I wanted to tell you, I just... I did not know what to do."   "Et good ta tell.   Et good.".  He shook his head.   "Not gonna lie ta ouah baby.  Lie ta covah up lies be bad end da end.  She ask, ja an ah gonna tell er.  Dere no question.  She eva ask bout er ma'da...  We gonna tell da truth.   Ah been lied to bout er conceivin'.  Ah been....  She not mah choice.  But she Mah daughtah.   Ah love er, no mattah how ah made er.  She be loved by er Papa an' er Ba.  Dat all what need sayin'. Not hold a child on account of da sins of dey parents.". The hunter, moving to kneel before his mate and child, smiled with one hand on her head, and the other on his mate's cheek.  "Dese are mine. Da true loves of mah heart, of mah life.  Ah protect Dem both, keep em safe, cared fer.". Blue lips moved to carefully kiss Tiny's forehead, her father massive in comparison, the girl just the same size as most infant Pandaren. "ah love ja, lil girl.". His lips moved up to press against Xiao's, a different kind of love spilling out of the touch.  "An ah love ja, mah lil one.".

Xiao looked at Vol as he knelt, now at eye level with his usually towering mate. He smiled a bittersweet smile and nodded. "It... is not ideal, anything about it. Naddja feeling forced to do what she chose, you... not having a choice." He shook his head. "The end product though, our daughter, this family..." He smiled with love clear in his eyes now. "I wouldn't trade her for the world." He spoke as his mate kissed their baby, then the lips were on his own and his breath was taken away again. He cradled Tiny against his chest with one hand and brought the other up into Vol's hair, pulling him closer and murmuring a quiet 'Mrhhmm...' against that kiss. The moment Vol might try to pull away, he'd lean in and deepen the kiss, parting his lips to let his tongue tease ever so gently along his mate's lower lip, fingers weaving tightly into his hair as his heart raced from the touch. "Vol..." He breathed against his lips, his eyes still shut as he lingered there, his fur nearly standing on as his spine tingled so pleasantly. "Ah know what ja be wanting, lil one.  Ah can smell et.". His hands went to take the now sleeping baby from her father. "Ja gotta take ja punishment firs'.  An'dinnah.  Ja eat dinnah, den ah punish ja...  And den ja reward.". He stood, cuddling Tiny up to his neck.  "Ah got a good name fer ja.  We give it to ja soon.  Lil one...  ". He addressed Xiao now, grinning.  "Eat.". The dominant tone was back and came with a smirk as he headed to the bedroom.

Xiao blushed a bit now, especially that dominant tone. Celestials did it do things to him. He handed over Tiny and squirmed in his seat, looking around now. "I uh..." He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "I did not notice if there was even food, did you make something while I was tending to Naddja?" It was only then he looked around, trying to see if there was indeed any food made yet or not. The Kimchi and rice sat on the counter, Vol wandering back in a few minutes later, putting long silk scarves on an empty chair.  "Ja been traveling, an helpin bringin a lil baby en dis world.  Ah not ate since yesterday.  We gonna eat.". He placed a bowl of rice balls and the sweet spicy vegetable dish in front of the Pandaren.  A blue hand brushed the red fur behind his ear, grinning as he washed up the bottle of milk and brought the juice.  "Ja get ta explain jaself ovah Dinah so ah can decide ja punishment, hmmm?"

Xiao kept himself positioned at the table, squirming occasionally in his chair. His eyes closed and he leaned into the touch as Vol casually brushed his fur in passing. He had to force himself to pay attention to the food, his mind anywhere but a meal in that moment. "It smells good, Vol..." He said with a blushing smile, reaching to nibble at the rice first. "What part do you want explained, my absence more or how I actually found you?" He asked between bites, stopping occasionally to take a bite of the kimchi with it now as well. "why ja gone...  Ja teaching, but we not need money dat bad.  An ja, how da fuck ja figuah out where we be?". The troll, in contrast to his mate was under control.  He was patient and watching, making sure the Pandaren did as he was told.

He shook his head now. "We... did not need it in the moment, no. When I told Kyl to upgrade the house, I told him money wasn't an object, nothing but the best for the man I want to spend my life with. It was a bit more than I expected... okay, a lot more. We would be fine for several years, but... before we had a nest egg that would last us the rest of our lives. I wanted us to have that again. So I put in for as many hours as I possibly could get, try and build back up to where we were. In hindsight, it... well, I know you do not care about money or fancy things, I just... I wanted to provide for you the way you provide for me." He sighed a bit, taking a few moments more to nibble at his food, that distinct 'smell' Vol likely picked up on becoming a bit less noticeable as he saddened himself with the conversation.  

"As for how I found you, I... well, I snooped through everything. I found the note mentioning Admiral Nialo and I figured I would start by asking our known associates. I went to Rhae, he directed me to Jarethius, Jarethius took me to the Cove, a nice Troll woman directed me to find the construction dwarves because they would know where the officer's quarters were to find Reshka. I found the Dwarves, they were mean and ignored me. I tried to... entice them with a drinking bet and they took it the wrong way, I knew it would either go great or horribly. A fight broke out, some creepy old man with his Worgen son broke the fight up by summoning a giant demon and the Dwarves ran off. The creepy old man turned out to be a Forsaken and left me considerably anxious until I got out of there. They gave me the information to find Reshka and I now owe them some undisclosed favor in the future. They promised no harm to my family and no assassinations, but it could be dangerous otherwise. Once I found Reshka she gave me the location of the cabin near the water where Jura was staying. I was going to wait but he said not to get my hopes up since Naddja seemed close, but no one knew where you took her. So... I snooped more, I went through all of your accounting books. You kept meticulous records on, well, everything. Then I noticed you had a book for every single property... except this one. I swear I almost laughed in desperation at the thought you were literally right under my nose this entire time and I went around the entire world. Then I came back here and... well, you walked in shortly after I found Kai's family in our home." He was smiling lightly, perhaps a bit proud of himself for having taken such measures to find his mate and succeeding. Either way, he went back to nibbling at his rice now, seeming to like that the most; but then again he was always fond of rice.  

Vol'raka listened, eating and remaining silent for the most part.  He grinned as Xiao finally figured out how precise he kept those books.  "Da Favah, ah not know a worgen otha den dat Admiral.  Least he smell like a wolf.  Not met many en da Cove yet, save Reshka and a few othas.  An' Ef ja look at mah books, ja KNOW we got no issues wit money.  Ah only left one dere.  Dere Three othah books en da Vale with mah investments.  Ah killed too many not ta know where da money comin' an goin'.  Ja need ta snoop mah office a bit more en da stable et seem, hmm?"  He reached a finger out to poke Xiao in the nose.  "Ja found us, dat what mattah.  Ah not able ta tell ja where da cove be, an ah had ta leave da one we was en.  Safah fer Tar.... Tiny.  Safah fer da family.  An we not stayin' ere aftah tanight.  Gonna head ta Hillsbrad firs' ting en da mornin, once she fed.  Ef dat dat where ja find Jura, dat where her clothes and toys be.  He be bringin' Tavalai's hand me downs.  Dey still good, an she need em on short notice.  May not fit er, she real little fer a troll baby.  Gonna need ta get sumpin ta be able ta hear er, know when she wake or need sumpin.  We arrange et when we pass through da Vale fer tomorrow.  Need ta put mah collah back on." He took a few more bites, smiling as he picked up a rice ball and took a bite to find a bit of fish flakes inside.  "Ja did good, but no moah assumin' tings.  Ja leave ta teach, ja tell me why.  Not be worryin' bout money.  Ja unna stand?"  The words continued  as he served himself  some of the melon juice that he'd grown fond of.  "Punishment easy ta figurah out now."

Xiao did indeed nod. "I did not think to check your investments, I just... well, I wanted to provide. It was silly, in hindsight." He said with a small smile. "Also... Tar-Tiny?" He asked with a quirked brow and then chuckled. "How long do we have to avoid our homes? The place I saw Jura at was nice, but... after I spent all that gold on the Vale home I certainly want to make sure we get the most of it." He grinned now, eyeing Vol curiously as he finally asked. "What uh... what punishment?" He seemed a bit sheepish but still curious, biting his lower lip as he squirmed again in his seat as he reached for a glass of the melon juice for himself as well now that he'd finished most of his food. "Providin’ done by both.  Ah not a kept mon.  we got enough ta survive.  Comfortable.  Ah got flocks an herds, farms now.  We not hurtin.  Xiao, ja tink bout et, we be ownin' a business what be consistin of meat, milk, tings ta feed people.  Ja got employees ere.  Dis a business.  We gonna spend time at all places.  Ah gonna be helpin train raptahs fer someone by name of Draigarth.  Gonna have ta finish one room, nursery."  He grinned.  "We a travelin family.  Dat da way we be."