Hello! As per request, here is my full analysis on Cellbit and his turn to cannibalism!
Before you read, here are some things to keep in mind!
This is only my interpretation, you're allowed to disagree. If you do, I'd really be happy if you, respectfully, added to the post! I want to hear your thoughts and analysis. Or you can DM me! Let me say it again, you will respectfully disagree with me. If you're rude, I'll ignore and or block ^^
I am just some guy, I don't have all of the answers. I'm only a casual watcher of Cellbit and only know his lore from what I've read! I may be wrong! However, I have taken a lot of time reading up on him and watching as many videos and clips as I can hehe
This dives into some heavy shit., such as Cellbit's negative feelings about himself, delusions, and unhealthy relationships. You need to be aware while reading this!
It's written a bit like a fic, because I can't help but be dramatic
Enjoy!
An exploration of Cellbit, violence, cannibalism, and love.
The first we know of Cellbit is the Hunger Games event, made canon by his conversations with Bad.
Cellbit was young, a child soldier thrown into these harsh games for the pleasure of faceless watchers because it was either die in the streets or die trying to get some quick cash and possibly win.
The whole situation is fully out of his control; this is the beginning of his spiral.
Keep in mind that he's a child. These conditions are not what he should be dealing with. His mind is forced into a survival mode where he has to do whatever he can to stay alive.
He has to kill people to survive, and then when things get bad, he has to eat people to survive. It's what he has to do. He has Bad, the first person he’s ever looked up to and has wanted to make proud, showing him how to butcher a body and what parts taste the best.
Cellbit has to do this, or he'll die.
It's out of his control.
To deal with the disgust, the fear, the self-loathing, and the trauma. His brain forces him to convince himself to like it. It's easier to enjoy the things that scare you than to be constantly disgusted and afraid by them. He convinces himself he likes it all, the blood, the killing, the cannibalism. It still makes him sick; deep down, a part of him knows he's wrong. He hates these acts and feels disgusted; he manages to drown it out with the screams of the people he has to kill.
When they win, and he looks over to see Bad smiling tiredly at him, ragged and flushed with victory and pride, it solidifies that enjoyment in his head. He won, he did everything he had to, and he feels good right now, and that means that everything he had to do to get here is good as well.
He's a child, remember that.
Next, he's in prison.
Another situation where he has no control other than what he can force himself to have.
The phone becomes a comfort, a lifeline he uses to force the people around him into respecting and fearing him.
People being scared of him feels good, incredible.
No one has ever really been afraid of Cellbit before. If they're scared of him, they can't hurt him. He learns to manipulate people, and he garners the respect and control he’s been grappling for. He becomes some twisted form of friends with Felps, someone who respects and fears and helps him. It's good, he's settled.
He keeps trying to escape because that's just another thing he can control.
Then he meets Pac, and maybe he falls in love, but at this point, he is an amalgamation of trauma and violence. He has never been in love or been loved, not by anything but the hilt of his knife. Pac is like him; he can see it in how he throws himself at situations that scare him. Cell can see the flash of interest in his eyes when they look at each other. Cell wants to have him. He makes Pac afraid of him; he controls him because if Cell can control him, maybe he can keep him. It’s what he’s learned to be true of himself.
They plan to escape, and they try to leave him alone. Cell's control on the situation slips, and he lashes out against the people trying to take it away. He feels nothing when he kills JV other than rage and his blood on his hands.
He needs to restate his control over Pac. He needs Pac to be his forever, in some way. So he eats his leg.
He likes eating people, and he likes Pac. These wires are crossed in his head. All Cell has ever known is violence; every time he's cared about someone, it's always ended in pain. He doesn't know any other way to be. He hurts Pac, and he eats his leg so that Pac will bear that mark forever. He will never exist without the mark of what Cell did to him. He will never escape from Cell’s love, and Cell will always hold that over him. It makes Cell so happy; he thinks he loves Pac, and now Pac will always know how Cell feels about him.
He kills Felps. It hurts. He doesn't want to, but he can't leave any ties to be found; if Felps hates him, it's easier.
They escape, and he gets left behind. He does what he needs to do to survive; finally, his life is his.
He gets "better," goes to therapy, and tries to fix himself. He learns that he is fundamentally wrong and that his brain doesn't work as it should. He understands that he is a monster, and Cell can't look at himself in the mirror for a long time. He stays away from people, mostly.
He goes to Quesadilla Island, and for a while, things are okay.
Pac is there; every time Cellbit looks at Pac, the broken part in him purrs and claws at his throat, and the new parts of himself he's trying to establish shrink away in disgust. He apologizes and makes promises he doesn't know he can keep. Mike glares at him, he’s always been the angry part of Tazercraft. Pac looks at him wearily, leans away when he gets too close. Yet he accepts him without much fight. Cellbit tries not to think about other times he accepted him without a fight.
Cellbit has a fragile control over his life.
He spends many days barely holding himself back from hurting Roier. He loves him, and no matter how many times Cellbit tells himself it's not true, he will always be made of violence. He forcibly files down the parts of himself that he knows hurt people. He tries so hard. He dreams of Roier under him, chest open and heart bared to him. Waking up from those dreams he’s filled with pride and love.
He curls around his husband and sobs into his chest, and Roier tries to reassure him that it's okay; he knows Cellbit would never hurt him. Cellbit keeps himself on the brink of exhaustion; if he's too tired to think, he's too tired to hurt people.
He still tries not to look in the mirror.
He kills the Fed workers when the eggs go missing. He hates them. He eats at the raw flesh like he did so long ago because he needed to do this. He can't control where their children are, but he can control these worker's deaths, make a statement that he knows the Feds will see. Cell and Cellbit are not two separate people. They never have been, they are the same, and Cellbit has never felt more himself than when he ripped into those fucking bears. He goes home, cleans up the blood, vomits, and lays awake, wondering what the fuck is wrong with him.
Cellbit hates himself, Roier kisses his cheek and climbs into bed. Cellbit hates himself. He selfishly clings to Roier and lets himself be loved in a way that doesn't hurt. Cellbit hates himself. He squeezes his eyes closed and thinks about ripping into his husband the way he had those innocent workers.
Cellbit hates himself, and Roier mumbles that he loves him.
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Llegaste cuando no quería nada y me hiciste quererlo todo vivimos cada momento como si fuera el ultimo, cometimos cientos de locuras, lo di todo y hasta un poco más. Amaba mirar cómo se iluminaban tus ojos cuando hablabas de algo que te hacía feliz mientras acariciaba tu cabello. En mi mente vivirá cada recuerdo bonito, aunque no podré olvidar lo malo. Decidí soltarte por qué ya no me hacías bien y lo que un día fue alegría se convirtió en tristeza. A pesar de todo te ame demasiado, Y aunque me costó, al final comprendí que no puedo enseñar a bailar a quien no está a la altura de mi ritmo. Te deseo lo mejor, porque a pesar de todo te he querido como a nadie, porque por ti aprendí lo que es realmente aceptar y querer a alguien tal y como es, me hiciste reír cuando no quería sonreír, porque me enseñaste una forma distinta de ver el mundo, porque me hiciste sentir querida, porque el haberte conocido me cambio la vida y no te culpo por no quererme como me hubiera gustado porque así es la vida y así como no podía obligarme a dejar de quererte, no te podía obligar a que me quisieras, me quedo con saber que hice parte de tu vida, que habrán cosas que te recordaran a mí, que algún día me extrañarás mucho, que tienes buenos recuerdos conmigo, que me viste desarreglada y durmiendo, y me viste arreglada y despierta, que fuiste mi alegría, mi risa, mi sonrisa y mi amor. Por eso te deseo lo mejor, porque para mí, fuiste la primera persona de la que me enamore. Un mal amor te jode la vida... Te persigue, te obliga a hacer una gran estupidez tras una. Pero vi cómo me fui transformando por él, me hundí en él. ¿pero sabes qué significo? que no solo te atrapé me atrapé a mí misma. Tuve que irme antes de que tú lo hicieras, me lastimé antes de que pudieras seguir lastimándome más. Sentía que me ahogaba y quería hacer que funcionara, aunque... no podía seguir luchando contra corriente para salvarte a ti y no a mí. Te extrañé por mucho tiempo y ahora solo guardo los recuerdos, lo que hicimos, lo que compartimos, lo que vivimos, cada momento, aunque ojalá hubieran sido más. Después de muchas noches de insomnio y días llenos de ausencia, por fin ha llegado mi recompensa: Ya no dueles. Te irá muy bien sin mí, lo sé porque no tengo duda de que a mí también me irá muy bien sin ti, un día te prometí que estaría siempre y lo voy a cumplir recuerda: que "en las malas contigo y en las buenas también".
n⊶y⊶x⊶0⊶7
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