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lovingmattysposts · 4 months

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You don’t know me 13

P1 P2 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P31 P32

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you and chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.

warnings: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING! Mentions of self-harm marks, doesn’t go into detail just mentions them being seen and noticed, if that part bothers you please skip and take care of yourselves love u all deeply, SMUT, cheating, smoking

the slow burn you guys have been waiting 12 parts for, xoxo- autumn

I stepped back slightly from the impact of his embrace against me. I let out a breath through my nose, as If I was taking an actual breath for the first time. I melted against his touch, his lips, as his mouth overtook mine moving his lips against mine in not a fast pace, but not a slow one either. Just a mix of both, an amazing mix of both.

Then It was gone.

I blinked my eyes open, his hands still pressed against my face as he looked down at me. "Was that okay?" He whispered. I just blinked at him, my cheeks a fiery pink shade.

"We-We can talk about this because I know last night at the pool you-" He stuttered, his eyes worried as he stared down at me. I pulled his arm, pulling him forwards all the way into my room before reaching over and shutting and locking the balcony doors.

I turned seeing him just looking at me for a brief second before I was on my toes, pulling him back down to me, back down to my lips. He responded immediately bending down and hooking his arms under my legs and picking me up effortlessly and wrapping my legs around his torso as we kissed. One hand pressed against my face, smiling through the kiss, the other placed under me, holding me up.

I smiled as I chased his kiss, both my hands pressed against his face as my lips came over his again, again, and again.

Like I couldn't get enough of his face. He turned before lowering me back onto my bed and hovering over me, pushing my arms up over my head and running his cold fingers over my arms, making me sheiver beneath him.

He pulled back.

"I don't want you to be Rose" He whispered pressing his nose to mine. I just watched him as his blue eyes looked down at me. "I never wanted you to be Rose" He shook his head softly. "I'm so sorry that I ever made you feel that way" He whispered leaning down and pressing his lips down to mine hard, but only for a moment and then pulled away again.

"I like you, y/n. I wouldn't like you if you were anyone else" He stated. I blinked up at him. "Yeah?" I whispered. He nodded before a smile fell across his face. "Yeah" He smiled pushing his lips back onto mine.

I smiled against his lips as he smiled against mine. He moved completely over top of me as I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

I tugged on his lip ring with my teeth, teasingly pulling his mouth with me. He whined into my mouth, making goosebumps fill my skin from the noise. The noise I wanted on repeat on my sound machine to fall asleep to. Once I let go he stuck his tonuge into my mouth.

Our tongues moved together into a rhythm, like they knew how to move together without ever being told. Like our mouths were made to kiss one another.

He moved from my mouth before kissing the corner of my mouth with passion making me smile, and then my cheek, down to my neck, then right below my ear. I whined tugging on the strands of his brown hair, breathing in.

He smiled against my neck as I leaned back so he had more access. His hands came down to my waist, pushing the tank top I had on, up slightly as his fingers pressed against my bare skin. I wrapped my legs back around his waist, pulling him closer to me.

He kissed down my neck, down to my chest right above where the low neckline of my top ended. I swallowed before grabbing his face and pulling his face up to mine. He looked down at me, opening his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.

"Chris" I breathed. "Yeah" He answered quickly his eyes glossed over. "I don't wanna-"

"We can do whatever you want to do and don't have to do whatever don't" he whispered pressing his forehead to mine. I swallowed nodded. "I want you" I breathed looking at him. He raised his head and nodded, running his hand over my cheek.

"But I-" I swallowed. I closed my eyes feeling tears come to my eyes. "I'm scared---for you to see me" I said shaking my head looking up at him. He furrowed his eyebrows as confusion crossed over his face. "Why?" He whispered peering down at me. I swallowed looking away from him.

I'm scared because I know what he'll see.

That, and I'm so used to everyone objectifying me. Looking at my body, imagining what was underneath. Kissing me and groping my chest like I wasn't a person with thoughts or feelings. Like Max always did.

I shook my head and shrugged. He took a breath in, pushing his finger under my chin making me look up at him. He pressed his nose against mine. "Y/n, your body is the least interesting thing about you" He whispered looking at me, making me smile.

"Now tell me what you want from me, and what you don't" He stated looking down at me. I nodded swallowing. "We don't have to do anything tonight Y/n. If you're worried about being uncomfortable or--or--" he said shaking his head. I smiled pulling him back towards me, making his blue eyes snap back to me.

"I want to know what It feels like to be touched by someone who cares about me" I whispered looking at him. He smiled looking down at me and nodded. "I can make that happen" He smiled sheepishly down at me. I chuckled looking up at him, leaning up on my elbows. "Oh yeah?" I smiled, laughing lightly.

"Yeah" He smiled pressing his lips against mine once more. I breathed in as he pushed the hair in my face back behind my shoulders and then pulled my arm, leaning me back down underneath him. He kissed me slowly as his hands came over my curves slowly. I swallowed the nerves in my chest.

"Do you want my hands?" He said pressing his mouth against my ear, his breath heavy. “My mouth?” He whispered in a way that I felt in my soul, kissing right below the ear. I let out a hard breath clenching around nothing just from his voice, my heart beating so fast I thought it was gonna stop.

“I wanna make you feel good” He stated looking down at me. I blinked up at him, just looking at him made me want to moan. I nodded and he smiled.

"Can I keep my shirt on?" I whispered hesitantly. He nodded quickly. "Yes, of course you can" He smiled shaking his head and pressing his lips to mine again.

My favorite thing about Chris now were his lips. Well they were before I knew him. Just one look at his angry demanor, and that lip ring on those pink lips of his and they would be a by-passer's favorite thing about the tattooed boy on top of me too.

But the way he kissed me, like he's be waiting for it, was something I'd never experienced before. I could kiss him forever. His hands moved over my shorts running his fingers over the waistband.

"Can I take these off?" He whispered against my lips. I hesitated for a second, but nothing was stopping me. Not even the fear in my chest of what he would think when he saw what he saw.

He smiled before looking me dead in the eyes, his lips hovering over mine as he hooked his fingers under my shorts and pulled them down off my body, never breaking eye contact with me. I swallowed feeling the intensity of his gaze as I lifted my knees so he could pull them off me completely.

He smiled down at me, still looking down at my eyes as he hands came over my thighs and then to my hipbones.

His face turned as he paused his movements. I swallowed feeling the weight of my chest.

He glanced down to where his hands were and my eyes shot up to the ceiling. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see his face, because I knew he had noticed.

He pushed my leg to the side and the blankets off of me as I felt his fingers graze over the marks that I had put on my body, slowly.

I stared straight up at the ceiling, trying to breathe and trying not to imagine the the thoughts running through his mind in this very moment as he stared down at the marks deep within my skin on my hips down to the top of my thighs.

The girl who had everything, cut herself.

I was embarrassed. No, I was mortified. I felt him look up at me. I didn't look down at him, because I knew he was looking up at me for answers.

My face shaking, my eyes starting to gloss over as the silence in the room was killing me. So I just didn't look down at him.

He glanced back down to his hands before shifting down me. My first thought to get a closer look at them, which made my stomach clench, but that feeling in my stomach was gone once I felt him press his lips against the inside of my thigh where the marks laid. I looked down at him, but he didn't look up at me as his lips trailed from the bottom ones all the way to the ones up my hipbone.

Pressing his lips to every, single, one.

I smiled down at him as my lips quivered. "You're so beautiful" He mumbled against my skin. I swallowed as I took a breath in and his head lifted looking back up at me with a small smile. "You're absolutely beautiful" He whispered coming back up to me and pressing his lips that were once on my skin back against my lips.

I smiled as he smiled against me. A sudden wave of peace washed over me. I wasn't embarrassed. He didn't make me feel small. He made me feel loved. Even though he had just seen the darkest part of me. He still wanted to do this.

He moved his hand right above the top of my underwear and parted our lips.

"Can I--"

"Touch me Chris" I breathed looking at him. I swear I saw his eyes glisten before two of his fingers ran over me, over my underwear.

I furrowed my eyebrows from the new pressure his fingers held against me and let my chest rise and fall with his movements, my breath audible heard now. And he was staring down at me, as he moved his finger slowly back and forth over me his eyes pouring into mine.

I shifted my hips, closing my eyes as I felt him stop and press his fingers to the top of my lace underwear before slowly moving his fingers underneath them. I blinked at him, trying to calm my heartbeat but it was no use as his fingers slid into me and moved them back and forth like he was before, but this time inside me.

He glanced down between us, then back up at me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back as he moved over the place I wanted his fingers most, hitting it with every other movement, making me flinch. I looked down at him as I saw him staring back at me, just watching me react to everything he was doing.

It would have freak anyone out, but the way his face was slightly lit up made me so warm inside. I swallowed getting tired of him hitting my clit but not giving it any attention. I let out a hard breath. Maybe he didn't know.

"Chris it's right-"

My mouth snapped closed when I felt him press two fingers hard against it. "I know where it is" He chuckled leaning down to me and kissing me breifly.

I felt my cheeks burn red as he lifted his lips away. I smiled and closed my eyes before he moved back and forth, slow circles around me. My knees snapped up slightly and I lifted forwards slightly from the perfect amount of pressure.

I lied. His fingers were my favorite part about him because they moved in a way where I couldn’t breathe.

I let out a pretty loud whine as I flinched before laying back down. He smiled down at me before moving faster and pressing his face into my neck. "Your noises are insane" He whispered against me. I couldn't even really pay attention to what he was saying, my face twisted trying to contain the amount of pressure.

I arched against his touch pressing our bodies together, pressing my face into his shoulder trying to contain my moans. God, I was so sensitive. He was barely touching me and I was jolting.

He moved faster.

"Chris" I breathed grabbing a fist full of my sheets next to me. He lifted his head and watched me as I squirmed beneath him. Just looking at me, eyes slightly wide as his eyes followed me.

He stopped his motions making me still and fall slightly under him, catching my breath. I felt his fingers move down before dipping into me completely.

"Fuck" My voice broke, squeezing my eyes shut. He moved his fingers in and out of me. "Does this feel good?" He whispered. I didn’t know if he was genuinely asking, but the smirk on his face and the way he bit down on his lip ring, made me think he wasn’t asking.

I didn't respond and my mouth fell open as I moved against his fingers and turned my head into my pillow, my body tensing up.

"Chris--Chris--" I said breathless. "I'm here, I'm right here princess" He whispered against the side of my face. I moaned and clenched against his fingers from the almost forgotten nickname.

I already knew I was close. I could tell from the pulsing in my abdomen. But I didn't want this to end, I never wanted this to be over. But I couldn't focus on not coming, I could only focus on the fact that he was curling his fingers inside of me at a rapid pace.

I shook my head as I moved beneath him, trying to fight the feeling but I couldn't. "Open your eyes Y/n, please" He whispered. His voice ringing through my ears. "Are you close?" He asked his eyes studying my face. I whined and nodded. He just looked at me as he moved faster. I hung my head and moaned.

“Can I taste you?” He whispered. I nodded not being able to form any words as he looked down at me. He smiled before pausing his hands making me whine and shift under him as he pulled them out. I could feel myself clenching from where his fingers once were. The lost of them made my body crumbled.

He pushed my knees apart before kissing down my stomach. This wasn’t real. I had to be dreaming. Just the sight of the boy below me kissing me so slowly down towards where I needed him most made me almost finish.

He glanced up at me his eyes full of lust. I looked down at him. “Chris” I whined. He smiled before dipping his head down and licking a stripe across me.

I immediately arched into his face, making his nose hit me in just the right spot. He smiled against me before his tongue moved fast and then latched his tounge directly onto my bundle of nerves sucking, harshly. I felt everything, every breath he made every moment.

The damn lip. ring.

Nope lips were definitely my favorite part, definitely my favorite.

The coldness of it, made me clench again. I didn’t mean to but I grabbed his hair pulling it, making him hum against me. So cold, oh my god. I flinch under him. I couldn’t take much more. I was right at the edge.

“Chris, I-I can’t-“ I cried shaking my head. The overstimulated pushing right over me, I thought I was gonna explode.

"---t-take it" I said scrunching my face. He pushed his fingers back inside me and lifted his head to look at me. "You're right there, I can feel you" He whispered. I whined pushing against his fingers.

I felt myself start to fall over as my body tense up and I felt myself release all over his fingers. I sighed before falling lifeless against my pillows. I felt him pull his fingers out of me and fall against me before pressing his lips against my face.

"You are crazy beautiful" He whispered up at me. I opened my eyes and looked down at him before smiling and shaking my head. "That part is so embarrassing" I mumbled shaking my head. His eyes went wide and he sat up.

"Are you kidding?" He said shaking his head. I laughed and nodded before pulling him down and pressing his lips against mine. I parted as he looked down smiling at me. I looked down between us. "What do you want?" I whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" He whispered back. I just stared at him. "Like what do you want me to give you?" I asked back. I felt like we were in our own literally world sitting here this close, only whispering back and forth, like no one else existed but us. And I loved it.

He smiled and raised his eyebrows at me. “Give yourself a second to breathe alright?” He chuckled down at me running his hands down my arms as I tried to return my breath to normal, still trying to regain my strength from the world crushing orgasm he just gave me.

“No but-but” I shook my head. He pressed his lips against mine to keep me from talking. I just blinked up at him as he parted from me. My cheeks red.

He shook his head. "I don't want anything" He said back at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?" I asked this conversation being foregin to me. "Did you think I was gonna expect something in return?" He smiled running his hands over my face. I nodded. He shook his head.

"Isn't this how this works?" I whispered. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "That might be how your dickhead of a boyfriend works" He said staring down at me.

Fuck Max. My face fell. I closed my eyes, taking in a breath.

"Fuck, Y/n. I'm sorry I didn't-" He shook his head. I opened my eyes and looked at him. "It's okay" I whispered shaking my head. He blinked down at me, like he was trying to read how I was feeling.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to mention him” He whispered. I shook my head. “It’s okay Chris” I whispered back. He sighed.

“He found your cigarettes you know” I stated. He furrowed his eyebrows. “The ones I took, the ones in my bag” I explained. He smiled before chuckling and hanging his head, making me chuckle under him.

Was it so wrong that we were laughing at this? I was naked and he was on top of me. Laughing about my boyfriend. “Can I have those back?” He smiled lifting his head.

I shook my head leaning up and kissing him slowly, like I couldn’t get enough. He pulled back and looked down at me. His smile slightly falling.

“I have so many questions for you” he whispered his eyes scanning my face as he traced my jaw with his finger. I just blinked at him and swallowed.

I knew what he was mentioning but I didn’t want to talk about them, not right now at least. Not right now. “Will you still have those questions tomorrow?” I whispered. He nodded as he looked down at me.

“Let’s just leave them be for now then huh?” I smiled up at him. He nodded closing his eyes and falling against me.

I smiled as he fell against me and I wrapped my arm around him and his arms wrapped around me. We just laid there for a second just laying against one another, matching our breaths.

"I really like you Chris" I admitted. He tilted his head up at me. "I like you more" He whispered back. I took in a breath as I lifted his shirt and ran my hands under his shirt running my fingers over his back soothingly. He hummed against me. I smiled.

"You're sure you don't want anything from me?" I whispered. He sighed before glancing up at me. "If I'm honest, I already finished" He mumbled. I chuckled against him and he laughed. "Chris" I groaned pushing him off me.

He leaned up. "What? You expected me to not? Your face and the sounds you-" He started but I shook my head and covered my ears. He pulled my hands off of me and kissed the side of my face. "I also haven't got off in months so I was overly senestive" He stated.

"If I'm being honest" I stated looking at him. "Me too" I whispered. He sighed looking down at me. "I'm obsessed with you" He whispered against my ear and gripping my sides making me laugh and pushing his hands away as he tried to kiss me again.

Fuck. I was falling in love with him and I knew it.

ahhhh this felt good to write

tag list:

@matthewsturnioloswifey @alexb25598 @stvrnioloa @letstripsturniolo @amberjpx @karlybbx @idontevenknowwhatthisis9933

@rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey @d3adlyclassrat @iammattsturniolo @1201pm @urfavstromboli @that-chris-girl01 @lovingsturniolo @aoxash

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader

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povlnfour · 6 months

Text

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 8

series masterlist | previous part

lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 207,567 others

landonorris 100th race, p2, and a nice little call with my girl to show off her flexibility. thank you austin

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user3 ‘MY GIRL’🥹🥹🥹

user7 I KNEWWW EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY

user9 lando have you seen what she’s done?

landonorris have friends? yeah pretty happy for her tbh

charles_leclerc p2 because the fia hates lewis and me*

user2 see everyone the boys are fine

landonorris keep crying mate

yourusername i actually hate you so bad rn

yourusername @/charles_leclerc SURE you don’t wanna date me instead?

user1 HELP Y/N AJDJDJSJ

user6 she said i’ve had ENOUGH

charles_leclerc make me that rice dish again and i’ll consider it

landonorris @/charles_leclerc you don’t even know what tteokbokki is called you don’t deserve her😤

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, lilymhe and 200,087 others

yourusername from monaco with love

👤 tagged alex_albon, lilymhe, charles_leclerc

only people yourusername follows can comment

alex_albon we need to have a serious conversation about how cute lily always looks in the photos you take and yet…. me…

lilymhe that’s just your face baby

charles_leclerc he’s not gonna know what hit him🤫

yourusername you could not have made this sound worse

charles_leclerc i’m quite enjoying being an accessory to internet drama

lilymhe do you know what’s rude? you spend one (1) second with a man and get a dating rumour… yet NOTHING when you hang w me!

yourusername FR we’ve been married for two years atp🙄

landonorris i know a Better place in monaco you can visit🧡

yourusername get your cute butt home and show me then

texts with charles ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris and 10,397 others

y/nupdates y/n at the airport today!! it seems she’s flying out to mexico for the upcoming grand prix 🩷

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user9 seriously? has everyone just forgotten she’s a cheater?

user3 and yet you follow fan accounts of her??? get a life

user7 ur actually miserable. lando hates u.

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y/nupdates any unnecessary hate comments will be deleted and you will be blocked🩷

user8 she’s so pretty even in the rain :( and she stopped to take photos with fans

user1 apparently someone gave her a necklace with an L on it and she put it straight on🥹

user8 @/user1 YOURE KIDDING THATS SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY

user1 THEY GAVE HER A MATCHING BRACELET FOR LANDO WITH HER INITIALS ON AS WELL!!!!

landonorris thank you admin for giving me a new lockscreen

user2 OH MY GOD ADMIN

y/nupdates 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 YOU ARE SO WELCOME

landonorris just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

tweet 4 should finish: hate towards those close to me*

tweet 6 should finish: blocked by my team**

twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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mclaren from p17-p5. not the start to the weekend he wanted but he only went and turned it around🙌🏻

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user2 SO PROUDDDS

user9 all because of her….

user3 HAVE FUN GETTING BLOCKED LMAO

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user6 GUYS I THINK MCLAREN ACTUALLY BLOCKED THEM THE COMMENT ISNT SHOWING UP FOR ME LMAOOO

yourusername that’s my boy

mclaren we heard it had something to do with his lucky charm😉

user3 this isn’t taking a week off ma’am

yourusername had to support the boy. it starts now <3

y/nupdates just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n:

OKAY this part was boring i am very sorry BUT there is onE OFFICIAL PART LEFT. it’ll be a long one i warn now but then there may be a mini epilogue of stuff i fully made up for next summer xxxx

thank you all for coming on this crazy ride with me — sorry it’s aLL OVER THE PLACE atm but it makes sense in my head ok

charles au is also otw next week and a one shot lando smau

taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicoranorca @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris au #lando norris imagine #mclaren #lando norris blurb #lando norris scenario #lando norris smau

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tastesousweet · 14 days

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⭒ the girl with the tattoo (x) - pt 1 pt 2 p3 p4 p5 p6 p7 p8 p9

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : after three resentful weeks apart, only matt and y/n could find themselves more fond of each other.

warnings : angst, fluffy, mentions of alcohol and weed, sort of proofread

mickey speaks : THANK U FOR UR PATIENCE SWEET ANGELS HERE’S THE 10TH PART FOR YOU!!! tgwtt is already in double digits 🥹 only like 8 more parts to go

THIS IS PART TEN GO READ THE OTHERS FIRST PLEASE!!!

"COME on y/n we'll have so much fun!"

you haven't had a night out in weeks.

following matt's party, you swore off alcohol until your own birthday in mid-september, afraid of the amount you'd allow yourself to consume now that you're feelings are supremely hurt and bitterness coated your tongue.

it was difficult to turn down the first week, despite the smell and taste of any drink making your stomach turn you craved the drunken effect and secretly wanted to run into matt- just to see what he'd have the nerve to say to you. but the mature, wiser part of your brain knows there is nothing good to come from spiteful drinking. so you've declined every weekend.

you know in your heart that your friends only want you to feel good and have fun with them. it's the only reason you've tolerated this current conversation for so long.

"i believe you! but i'm just saying i'll have just as much fun with this bowl of strawberries and my bed," you reach into a cabinet for one of the many off-white glass bowls.

"baby you haven't been out with us in so long, we miss you!" remi beams kicking her legs as she sits atop your counter, fully dressed and decorated for her night out (contrasting the bare face, oversized tee, and panties you wear).

you sigh and look over to the three girls huddled in your kitchen, "no, you guys know 'm not drinking right now," you shake your head and push off of the counter heading towards the fridge in search of your berries.

"i'm just confused on why you're suddenly so strict on drinking? and regardless of the drinking you could have fun without it if you loosen up a bit..." erin replies while resting her body against the wall next to remi's spot.

you roll your eyes while your face is still in your fridge before shutting it back, "i don't understand what's not clicking erin, i don't want to go out at all! i want to stay at home and be away from drunk people and watch something brainless and then i wanna go take a fucking bath. i'm so tired of having to explain and repeat myself. please go, please have a good time, and please- respectfully, mind your business."

you run water over your strawberries and andrea's eyes widen as she turns back towards the counter to pour herself another shot.

"alright, whatever.” erin shakes her head, “dre, remi, i'm gonna go wait outside this is annoying. she can stay bitter," she walks out and whispers, "bitch," under her breath before shutting the door.

it's silent for a second as you begin to harshly cut the stems off of the fruit, remi comes behind you and wraps a caring arm over your shoulder for a hug, "are you okay?"

"yes, i'm fine, you can go have fun..." you turn to face her and offer a strawberry.

"i really do miss you,” you kisses your shoulder and bites into the strawberry, “love you," she reminds you as she grabs her bag and dismisses herself to check with erin. you nod your head and continue to stare blankly as you repeatedly cut.

andrea speaks up after hearing the door fully shut. she breathes heavily as she stares down at her hands on the counter, "cariña ("honey"), you’re not a bitch.”

“i know…” your voice is small.

“i know you do. i also know something’s hurting you badly right now and i selfishly wish you’d fucking tell me so i could help.” she licks her glossed lips, “but as long as you’re being kind to yourself, i can deal with you keeping this to yourself.”

your eyes brim with salty tears and when you let out a broken sniffle she's immediately by your side. "nooo don’t cry, i’m already pre-drunk! you know i will too!" you try to continue preparing your fruit but andrea turns your body to make room for a warm hug. you're quick to tuck your face into her perfumed neck and let out your feelings through cry's.

you had always thought that what andrea (or anyone) didn't know about your sex life with matt wouldn't kill her, but quite frankly it's killing you. you want to tell her everything he’s ever made you feel- for all andrea knows matt was once a silly crush and currently a little less than a friend to you.

but at the same time you just know she would tell you to stop seeing him if she knew everything. she would remind you that at your core you are far too caring and attached to handle recurring casual sex with him in the first place.

"i'm so sorry, drea. i really wanna tell you but i’m not ready." you croak pitifully.

not ready to accept the embarrassment of wanting him to like you this bad.

and for someone as willingly vulnerable as you, you’re especially not ready to hear her scold you a little for somehow hurting your own feelings and putting your friendship with erin on a thin line over some guy.

your words only confuse her brain more, but she can only continue to rub circles into your back and silently pray you didn’t do something illegal or, like, morally cruel.

౨ৎ

matt would love to say he hasn’t thought about you since you bitched out on him the night of his birthday, but he could never just blatantly lie.

he can say he has gone the past few weeks without reaching out to you- which mostly speaks to both of your stubbornness and pride.

in fact, you’re part of his reason for having his own night in tonight- though it’s far less sadistic of a reason than yours. he’s simply grown bored of the repetitive night life he and his friends have.

you were always there for him to tease and secretly fuck around with whenever your friend groups would combine for the night. but as of late he’s left sitting at the bar swigging down beers and scrolling on his phone (sometimes he’d get irrationally irritated at you for not posting on your instagram or snapchat stories, feeling a as if it was a direct punishment to remove him from knowing any details about your life) or until the rest of the group throw the towel in.

on the worst and most irritating of nights he’ll take an uber home by himself. and those were the nights he would get so close to being irrational- showing up to your house and confronting you was oh so enticing. but he’d talk himself out of it and go home to fuck his fist like you’d probably tell him to do.

and on the most horny and pathetic of nights he'd end up in the backseat of his car finger-fucking erin with her tongue in his mouth. it ended at that though, matt's skin started to crawl thinking of when you rode him in the front seat not too long ago. he had pinched his eyes shut and pulled erin's hands away from his zipper, swaying her with some sweet "i just wanted to make you feel good s’all" and a kiss before she left and he awkwardly drove himself home- pondering how little self control he had to be desperate enough to do even get that far.

so, he didn’t even bother to go out tonight. when chris and nick asked him through his closed door, he told them he’ll stay in for some “peace and quiet.” really, he just couldn’t stand to be disappointed by the guaranteed lack of you being there.

he sits in his desk chair, legs spread casually, and sketchbook held against his thigh as he scribbles around to formulate a few rough outlines for upcoming clients. somewhere in the mix he begins to sketch out a familiar cartoon cat, which only irritates him and makes him close the book abruptly, shoving it into his desk’s drawer.

matt rubs his hands over his face a few times and lifts himself from the chair, heading straight for his bedside table. he bites at his lips while digging through the drawer, eventually finding the pretty red hot blunt you rolled and gifted him.

he makes his way out to the patio, not bothering to turn the outdoor lights on; blunt, lighter, and phone in tow. he slouches into one of the many chairs near the glass door and places the blunt between his lips, shuffling as he digs in his back pocket for his lighter.

the spark of the bright flame highlights his focused face for only a few seconds while he pricks the end of the misshapen yet smoothly rolled blunt. he breathes in the smoke immediately, throwing the lighter onto a table nearby. he tilts his backwards to blow out swirls of smoke above him.

matt initially wants to wait to call you until he feels high enough, mostly to give him an excuse for calling in the first place because he knows you’ll be expecting one. but he can't fucking wait, he wants to know what you're doing right now.

matt continues to effortlessly inhale and exhale several hits as he searches his phone for your contact.

his thumb hovers over the dull button that would change a lot for him. calling you means looking like a dumbass, as if he can't handle not knowing you (apparently he can’t but he wouldn’t admit to it). calling you means he’s breaking this implied break up- for complete lack of better terms.

but who’s to say you’ll even answer and give him a chance to do any of that? and suddenly his phone is vibrating in his hand as he raises it to his ear.

it takes four rings for you to answer, though you're completely silent on the other end. he waits and you wait. he truly didn’t think this far ahead. you only give him a few extra seconds to be silent before you hang up all together.

matt kisses his teeth and redials. when you eventually answer again he speaks through the smoke in his lungs, "hi. why'd you hang up?"

"matt, don't call my phone and expect me to speak to you first." your voice has a bite to it that still surprises matt a little. it's so infrequent for you to be harsh or upset (as long as matt has known you, you've been nothing but cheerful and well… sunny) that it's oddly pleasant to see how you handle negative emotions- it reminds him that you’re not always good, something he’d always weirdly envied about you.

he releases more smoke in the air around him, "my bad, sweetheart."

"just tell me why you’re calling. are you drunk or ...?"

"no. i just wanted to know what you're doing."

you sigh heavily, "why does that concern you...?"

his eyes pinch as he stares out into the dark backyard, "why're you bein' so difficult? 'm just trying t-"

"matt. get there, please." you rush, though you secretly are enjoying hearing his voice and the romanticized idea that he must care a little if he’s reaching out again.

“yeah.” he takes a breath, “i don’t know. i’m just, like, here…by myself, and i wanted to remember what you sounded like.”

you smirk to yourself but drop it immediately, “okay…well, this is what i sound like.”

“yes, so soothing, i could fall asleep right here,” you can hear him audibly stretch.

“oh, i’m putting you to sleep?” you tease.

“yeah, i need you to come over and wake me up,” he inhales once more.

you’re silent and he breathes out again, “fuck was that too much- i’m sorry.”

“definitely. i need you to calm down, sir.”

“oh i’m so calm, baby,” he moans out playfully.

“matt, i’ll hang up-”

“woah! let’s not make such rash decisions?!”

“okay then.”

“thank you for answering,” his voice is muffled, “you could’ve blocked me- i talked to you so crazy that night and i do feel bad about, i want you to know.” he pauses and you silently process as he continues to compliment you, “you’re the only woman besides, like, my mother, who is just classy as fuck and way too kind to everyone whether they deserve it or not.”

you could never have expected to hear any words of admiration from matt in regards to you. “oh my god, are you near a couple of trees right now? how’d you get so sappy all of a sudden?”

matt takes a second to register your joke before his entire face crinkles and he shakes his head, giggling, “bad joke. such a bad joke.”

you let yourself laugh a little as well before pulling together, “thank you for apologizing, i honestly didn’t expect that from you.”

“well i don’t hand them out like that so i guess you’re lucky or something.”

“i guess i am…” you smile into your words a little.

“what have you been doing?”

“like the past few weeks or right now?”

“i was talking about right now but you can say both.”

“just was checking! i don’t want to talk to much, i know you’d hate to listen to it.”

“heyyy! really? throwin’ some shit i just told you i didn’t mean right in my face like that?”

“i’m sorry i had to!”

“you were holding on to that one, huh?”

“just a little.”

“okay, tell me everything and i’ll listen.”

“i know i made it seem like i’ve been doing a lot but i’ve honestly just been working a bunch. it’s not as much of a nightmare as it sounds though- working long shifts has helped me fall asleep quicker. i’ve also started cooking a lot more whenever im bored which andrea looooves. and… um, right now i’m taking a bath.”

matt’s eyes widen and he chuckles, “dammit! i knew i should’ve facetimed instead!”

you bite your lip to hold back a laugh yourself, “what are you doing, matt?”

“guess.”

“i mean, i know you’re smoking but you could be in a random bedroom at a party or like, at some other bitch’s house…i don’t know, i’m just guessing!”

“never that,” he laughs- which you can’t decipher as a sarcastic or genuine one -and explains further, “‘m at home, outside with that perfect little blunt you made.”

“oh, for real?”

“uh huh, she’s treating me real good.”

“i’m glad. can you finish telling me how you’ve been?”

“yeah, um-”

“mattttt!” a very drunk nick suddenly yells while sliding open the glass door.

matt literally jumps and is immediately annoyed, you can hear it in his voice despite it being muffled now, “dude, you scared the shit out of me! what do you need?”

“hello to you too, ugh, i forgot you’re all moody right now. what are you even doing it’s all dark and shit?” nick hangs on the door has he peeks outside.

matt gets up to close the door again, “mind your business, nick. move, you’re in the way.”

“hmm, you are so weird.” nick squints his eyes and turns away yelling chris’ name in a blood curdling scream (for absolutely no reason besides the fact that he thought it’d be funny to see chris drunkenly run into the living room).

“hey, you still there?”

“mhm, yes”

“nick and chris just got back from the bar so i’ll have to help them chill out, um, yeah. i wanna hang out again. not even just to fuck if you aren’t cool with that yet, if we can be friends around our friends we can be friends by ourselves.”

friends? you and matt? hm. “that’d be nice, do you wanna just come over like usual?”

“i mean i could but we can do whatever you want, seems like you’ve been home a lot so, you know.” his voice gets more distracted as he speaks

“okay, i’ll let you know. good night.”

“sounds good, sweetheart.”

౨ৎ

MATT - 6:30 PM

Are you done yet?

Y/N - 6:52 PM

yes i’m coming now

“i’m sorry again for keeping you so late y/n, you really didn’t have to stay and help me close!” your coworker, angela, beams as she follows you out of the back door with a trash bag.

“don’t worry about it,” you smile to her as you walk with her to the large dumpster on the side of the building.

she throws a bag the size of her torso into the bin with a mumble of ‘ew’ before turning to you, “don’t say that! i know you have that date thing tonight, i don’t want you to be late.”

“i told you it’s not a date! we’re hanging out as friends.”

she rolls her eyes while putting her travel sized hand sanitizer back into her purse, “y/n don’t start with that…it’s totally a date from what you’ve told me.”

you both continue to walk towards the back parking lot,“trust me, he’s made it clear he’s not that kind of guy.”

“then why waste your time?”

right when you go to defend yourself you hear a car door shut, drawing your attention to the man of the hour, who’s locking the doors of his sleek black suv as his jaw works a minty piece of gum.

his black tee exposes his tattoos and his jean shorts are held up with his favorite black belt. you can see his light eyes are squinted due to the sun’s undying brightness from where you stand.

angela turns to you with a full smirk and softly slaps your arm, whispering and giggling, “girl, he’s hot!”

“oh my god!” you have an uncontrollable smile as you look at her, “stop it!” you look over again and this time matt is leaning against his car, ready to catch your eye and send you a wave of his fingers with his eyebrows raised.

you wave back then turn away once more, “‘kay i should probably go but i’ll see you wednesday, right?” you lean in for a hug.

“yes i’ll be here,” she smiles into the embrace as you kiss into the air to the side of her head, “you’ll have to give me all the deets!”

“mhm,” you hum as you both part ways, “bye ang!”

you approach matt without any rush and he takes the time to gaze over your complexion (far more radiant than the last time he’d seen you) and the way your mini jean skirt compliments the blushed red top you’re wearing. “hi sunny,” he grins and reaches a hand out to bring you into a hug, only for you to set the handle of your small purse in it. he kisses his teeth playfully, “it’s still like that, huh?”

“like what?” you condescendingly look up at him.

“alright, girl,” he dismisses, “where are we goin?“

“it’s a surprise for a reason matt!”

“okay… then i’m assuming you’ll drive?”

“not exactly..” you spin on your heel and walk away from him as a hint to follow you.

he wraps an arm around your shoulder as the two of you walk down the busy sidewalk, he gives a couple of glances down at your phone while also navigating the two of you. “metro?” he reads aloud.

“mhm,” you reply and smile to yourself while adding the tickets to your apple wallet.

“wow, you really planned this shit out.”

“i’ve never half-assed something in my life,” you say as you both stop at a cross walk.

“never? you have a brother, right?” he asks and you nod, “i’m sure he’d be able to come up with something.”

“probably,” you shrug and grab his wrist when the walking sign lights. “we’re gonna make it just in time, the bus comes at 7:10.”

౨ৎ

the seating on the bus is comfortably squished; you sit in the window seat and matt next to you, moving his limbs inward to give room to those walking in the isle.

you reapply a faded shade of red, black cherry to your lips while using your phone camera. matt watches with his lips pursed in awe. “that shade looks nice on you,” he says softly.

you’re already feeling giddy internally and he’s forcing you to blow your unbothered cover at this point, “thank you,” you smile and turn to see him already close to your face, looking at your eyes then lips. you just have to close the space by giving him a small kiss, mumbling, “it looks good on you too, see,” you move your phone so that he can see his lips outlined with the stain of you.

he laughs and pouts his lips while checking himself out in your camera, making the risky move to take a photo of himself, before giving your cheek a kiss.

౨ৎ

“jesus, for forty fucking minutes you better have brought me to an all inclusive resort!” matt complains while dramatically stretching his back.

the sun was now peeking down and the flashing lights of santa monica pier were extra enticing. “stop, we’re gonna have so much fun! look!” you point at the energetic strip with a childish grin.

“alright, let’s go then,” he tilts his head towards the fair.

౨ৎ

“definitely could have gone without that last ride- wayyy too many dips,” matt holds his stomach dramatically.

“i could tell, you were screamin’ like crazy,” you smirk as the two of you stand in the line at one of the many food trucks. two hours into being there and you’ve rode almost all of the rides, it was expected for matt to ask to stop for some sort of food eventually.

“barely.” he rolls his eyes, “what do you want?”

“i’ll have a water and one of those bomb pops,” you tell him.

“that’s not really food, are you gonna be good with that for right now?” he clarifies.

“yes, matt. thank you,” you smile and matt waves you off as he approaches the tall window to order.

“hey, what’s up man? i’ll just have a water, one of those fourth of july a bomb pops, medium fry and a modelo in a can please,” he flashes a smile and pays quickly.

you thank him and the cashier as you take hold of the items you asked for. “can we go walk on the beach?” you ask him.

“yeah, it’ll be dark as shit, but yeah,” he responds lightly and shoves a few fries into his mouth.

౨ৎ

“when i was younger my mom would bring me and my brother to the pier every summer since i was seven maybe?” the waves crash softly in the background as matt lays between your legs, despite the scratchy denim of your skirt. “when i was eleven my brother would want to go off with his friends in high school and my mom wasn’t a fan of the rides, so she would bring me to walk on the beach with her instead.” you recall out loud after matt had asked what made you want to come here today.

“mmm, reminds me of east coast beaches when i was a kid. we’d make a whole day out of it and pack up my mom’s minivan.” you stretch his scalp hypnotically, “just being rowdy and annoying as hell on the ride there and sleeping on the way back. being a kid is, like, the best and we never realize it when we’re there.”

“isn’t it kind of sweet that we don’t? kids don’t even understand the concept of missing childhood or being nostalgic until they’re older. if eight year old me were constantly dwelling on what’s passed i know she’d go insane. i mean, even now, everyone is always chasing previous feelings and never fully in tune with the one present.” you look out at the waves that softly build up and crash repeatedly.

matt licks his lips and opens his eyes, sitting up from your lap, “holy shit, sunny,” he kisses you and pulls away to laugh, “you just made me sound like a dumbass.”

he keeps a hold of your face, “matt you’re not dumb, everyone is nostalgic for something,” you kiss him again to seal your words.

matt pulls away and you stands up and begin to remove your shirt leaving you in a lacy bra, “come on,” you tilt your head and matt immediately stands up to cover you.

“the fuck do you mean, ‘come on’?” he starts to laugh while looking around for anyone around.

you roll your eyes at his protection and unbutton your skirt, “take a dip with me.”

“no?! y/n, that water is freezing...”

you pull down your pants to reveal a small pair of matching lacy panties that matt can barely see in the dark but he just knows would send him over the edge.

“matttt,” you pout and bring his hands to your exposed ass, lifting his chin to capture his lips in your own, “please?” you look up at him.

he pinched his eyes shut, “baby, put your clothes back on…”

“alright be lame,” you take his hands off of you and run into the empty beach with a freeing laugh.

matt stands there, not wanting to yell and draw attention to you both, but also not wanting to freeze to death.

“matt! the water’s not even that cold, come here!” you exclaim, wading in the shallow water.

“no, i’ll just wait here until you’re done cooling off…”

“matt, please! what if i-” you pretend to fall backwards and start to fake a drowning scene that has him undressing to his boxers quickly.

he ignores the rush in his blood from the surprise of the water’s temperature in favor of getting you out of there. he calls your name over and over, the pitch black look of the ocean doing absolutely nothing to help.

he’s pretty freaked out when you come back up and jump on his back yelling, “you saved me! you saved me!” with a cackle.

matt immediately groans and slaps the water, “fuck you, why would you ever do some shit like that?!”

you giggle and he throws you off his back easily, turning around to be face to face with you as you wipe your eyes, “oh my god matt, my mascara’s gonna run!”

“maybe we should think of these things before running into the ocean?”

you stop wiping underneath your eyes to forcefully push him under the water, giggling at the sound of the crash and his “don’t-!” right before.

“no more,” he spits out water and scolds you when he comes back up, inching closer to you and holding you by your hips as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“okay,” you agree and go to kiss his wet face just as he quickly unhooks you and throws you back under.

“matt!” you squeal as you resurface to hear him laughing, ��dude, i’m gonna kill you.”

“truce, truce, truce!” he repeats and backs away from you.

“yeah, you better run,” you threaten.

౨ৎ

“your eyelashes are like sooo long when they’re wet,” you compliment as you stare at matt under the moon’s light.

he pulls you closer him to stop his mouth from chattering due to the cold, “i’ll give you my lash routine,” he jokes.

“i realized something when we got off the phone the other day,” you bring up, as your eyes run over each of his facial features.

“tell me,” he rolls his icy lips into his mouth.

“i never said sorry for being nasty to you on your birthday.”

matt’s eyes squint, “it’s fine, i’m not hung up on that shit. we said we’re good, right?”

“yes, but-”

“alright then,” he shrugs and squeezes your ass in reassurance.

a smile graces your face and and you let your head fall to his shoulder, whispering, “matt…i’m cold now.”

“i’ve been waiting for you to say that, oh my god!”

౨ৎ

you both suffer as you put your clothes back on over your wet skin. you’re both chattering messes and simply cannot stop laughing about it as you make your way back to the boardwalk’s strip of raging bright lights.

you don’t get far before you’re begging matt to win you an oversized faux fur leopard print coat, “it’s just what i need, please!”

and he’s spent almost two twenties replaying this stupid game over and over again. you’re a pretty good cheerleader though.

“come on matt, you got it this time! no pressure! it’s only like i’m dying of hypothermia!” he deadpans as he looks over to you, “what?”

it was a simple game of ring toss- that was most definitely rigged, but besides you reminding him this and saying you didn’t need the coat that much, the stand runner’s comments doubting matt was enough to fuel him to continue playing until he wins.

and somehow he tosses the perfect ring, watching it land and swivel around the bottle in victory. you both outwardly celebrate with screams and a very public kiss, that the two of you just can’t stop sharing today.

“congratulations,” the employee boredly says.

“thank you sir, thank you.” matt then obnoxiously turns around and yells out a speech to the random passersby “i wanna thank my mother, my grandmother, brothers, dog, and you people for giving me this opportunity to win something so grand for my sweet sunshine!” you stop giggling to give a royal wave to the many people judging the two of you, “thank you santa monica!” he blows a kiss and you both spin around to claim your prize.

“you two are like cartoon characters,” the stand runner says. and as soon as you start to grin at him he corrects, “that wasn’t a compliment.”

“whatever man, just give the pretty girl the fucking coat,” matt blinks at him. as the man walks away to grab the fluff off of the rack a few people stop by the table and matt warns them, “if i were you i’d keep walkin’, this guy’s a first-class hater.”

you drag matt by his arm back over to you, “did you take your socially-overbearing pills today?!”

“i have no clue, i think im too cold for my brain to process embarrassment anymore.”

“here’s that coat,” the man hands you it with a shake of his head.

“thank you, sir!” you exclaim and immediately fit your arms from the sleeves, “this is everything i’ve ever wanted!” you say as your jaw goes slack.

“you look good,” matt agrees, “you also look warm, so now i’m jealous.”

“let’s go get you something warm, baby.”

౨ৎ

after a trip to a random gift shop for a hoodie, matt whined about needing real food so bad.

so the two of you stand at the hostess stand in a small mexican restaurant on the strip.

“for two?”

“yes, thank you.”

“i’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay?” matt speaks close to your ear and you simply nod and watch him walk off.

you wait a few moments before the hostess offers to take you to your table, “did you want to go sit now or wait for your boyfriend?” she asks kindly.

you try not to make it so apparent that you enjoy the idea of you being matt’s girlfriend, “yeah, i can sit now, he’ll find me.”

౨ৎ

“i’ll have the chicken burrito please with extra rice,” matt orders as he sits across from you.

“and i’ll have the four birria tacos please,” you hand her the menu kindly.

you both are bundled up ridiculously with frizzy hair and barely-dry clothes, you’re surprised anyone agreed to serve you.

“alright, that should be out shortly!”

when she walks away matt asks, “why didn’t you get a drink? i’m just curious.”

“i swore off drinking until my birthday,” you shrug and fall back into the plush of the booth.

“mm, not smoking either?” he sips his water.

“i mean i haven’t smoked since early august but no i didn’t purposely stop.”

matt nods, “well if you were to drink, what are you ordering? i usually go for a corona but i wanna try something different.”

“oh strawberry margarita, a hundred percent. hits everytime.”

“i’ve never had a margarita so i’ll try it.”

your jaw drops, “hell yeah you’re gonna try it, i can’t believe you!”

“what can i say?” matt shrugs.

౨ৎ

matt plays with the toothpick in his mouth as you both sit in your spots for the bus ride home. he got to enjoy his first margarita and you took multiple pictures to document it, he bought you churros to go, and now you both are the most tired you’ve been in a while.

you quietly respond to texts that andrea sent you hours ago, asking what you’re doing and if you’ll be home soon, while matt lays his head on your shoulder sleepily.

eventually you shut your phone off and calmly rest your head against the chilled window for the rest of the ride.

•

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets fan fiction #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets smut #matt sturniolo x black!reader #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo

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gabigabigabby · 6 months

Text

least you've got points | l. norris

lando norris x sainz!reader

part one / two / three

the landosainz saga

a/n: p17 to p5 😭😭😭 that's the a/n. also kika is so mother in this, get ready to watch her boss lando and pierre

synopsis: lando gains 12 positions in the mexico grand prix. aka ln4 masterclass

face claim: sophia weber

ynsainzzz

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 937,664 others

ynsainzzz ig grid full of lando is kinda too fangirl of me so my fit today !!!! BUT LANDO P17 TO P5 HOW COULD I NOT BE PROUD OF MY POOKIE TODAY 🧡🧡🧡

tagged: landonorris

view all 92,733 comments

landonorris I love you princess 😆😆🧡

ynsainzzz landonorris i luh youuuu

francisca.cgomes LAAAANDOOOOOOO

ynsainzzz francisca.cgomes 😆😆😆

landonorris francisca.cgomes KI KI KI AYEEE

francisca.cgomes could swear i thought u said rookie 😭😭

ynsainzzz francisca.cgomes that's my oscarpiastri 😂

oscarpiastri ynsainzzz proud to be your rookie Y/N 😅

pierregasly Don't really care about seeing Lando on your Insta grid 24/7, just please shut up about stroopwafels

ynsainzzz pierregasly but... but they're good 🥺

landonorris pierregasly are you shaming my girlfriend for having a stroopwafel addiction?! You and me outside Gasman 😡

pierregasly landonorris aight bet you muppet 😡

francisca.cgomes pierregasly landonorris sit down you two 🙄

landonorris francisca.cgomes okay sry Kika 😔

pierregasly francisca.cgomes sorry Kika ):

username francisca.cgomes damn you've got them in a chokehold bestie 😳

francisca.cgomes username 😭😭 god i am not your strongest soldier

username2 i knew you were one of us miss y/n 😆😆

username3 I missed seeing you on your own grid 😭 she really is one of us

ynsainzzz's story

ynsainzzz

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55 and 993,197 others

ynsainzzz mexico dump is here!!!! + since you all love when i explain each pic...

1. me in the ferrari garage since mr. carlossainz55 practically dragged me by the ear to come watch him during quali (dw landonorris i was watching you the whole time😉)

2. dinner w carlitos that night. again, dragged me by the ear

3. the amazing amazing mclaren pit crew. srsly i love you guys thank you for all your hard work 🙏🏽

4. landoscar. need i say more

5. me fangirling outside lewis' garage bc yes he's my friend but he is STILL lewis hamilton 😳

6. lewis. i caught a meme of lewis. am i lucky or am i lucky

tagged: scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55, mclaren, landonorris, oscarpiastri, mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton

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landonorris Baby I live for your dumps. And I mean every kind of dump.

ynsainzzz landonorris wow you really love me

landonorris ynsainzzz word. take that Y/N's exes

ynsainzzz landonorris okay yeah don't do that.

carlossainz55 I did not drag you by the ear, stop being so dramatic. Can't a brother just feel like having his sister's support right then and there for a while?

ynsainzzz carlossainz55 okay big man, no need to write a whole ass essay in my comments 💀

carlossainz55 Also I paid for dinner stop whining

ynsainzzz carlossainz55 obviously, you know i'd never go on a sibling date with you if you're not paying

francisca.cgomes ynsainzzz that's a W sister right there

carlosainz55 francisca.cgomes come on Kika, on my side for once

francisca.cgomes carlossainz55 nah. the y/n side is the better side. sry carlos

lewishamilton Did me dirty in the last pic Y/N 😅 you promised you wouldn't post it tho

ynsainzzz lewishamilton sorry lew it's too funny not to!!! 💜

pierregasly It's nice to see red on your grid ❤️

ynsainzzz pierregasly leave me alone im still mad at your stroopwafel comment

pierregasly ynsainzzz come on Y/N, I already said sorry 😭😭 come on I'll buy you all the stroopwafels you want and I'll never say another word about it ever

carlandoooo ynsainzzz if it's any consolation, i love your obsession with stroopwafels Y/N

ynsainzzz carlandoooo you're my best friend. i'll tell kika to add you in the grp chat

carlandoooo ynsainzzz love you 😘 see pierregasly it's not hard to embrace the stroop

francisca.cgomes carlandoooo on god

717 notes · View notes

pepsiboyy · 1 month

Text

beyond the contract - part 6

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8

pairing: matt sturniolo x reader summary: where the sturniolo triplets are part of an organization known as the eclipse alliance, matt has constantly failed to pull through with pulling the trigger on a target. fed up, their boss gives matt one last chance, where he is sent to northside high school to get some answers out of a girl. warnings: just some fluff gaurr author's note: HI GUYS!! this chapter is good compared to the last one imo but it is gonna get CRAYYY i love u guys <3 WC: 1730 lowercase intentional !!

"come on matt," i giggled and lightly hit his shoulder.

"all i'm saying is you're being corny by doing all this," he stated matter-of-factly, but a warm smile remained on his face that reminded me that he meant no harm.

i chuckled and shrugged as i looked down at the notes app on my phone.

COLOR IDEAS FOR PROM: pink purple blue green

"does it matter that much?" matt questioned, peering over to look at my phone screen. i scoffed and shook my head in disbelief, looking at the clock that read 5:47pm.

matt and i had been hanging out in my room most of the day, waiting for night to roll around to go and look at the stars as promised.

"yes it matters, matt! all the couples match and stuff!" i chuckled as i kept looking through pinterest.

matt reached forward and gently picked up my phone, taking it and setting it face down between us. "no need for that, y/n. i promise we will look great. i'll make sure of it." he smiled warmly.

i couldn't help but feel my face heat up as i nodded and gently moved to take his hand in mine, holding it softly. matt ran his thumb over my knuckles before he sighed and stood up.

"do you wanna go get food? we can bring it tonight," matt stated as he lifted his arms in the air and arched his back, stretching carefully.

i nodded eagerly and began to walk towards the door, but my eyes widened when i felt matt hold my wrist and turn me around, placing his lips on mine for a brief moment. he pulled away and smiled warmly at me, and with his hand encapsulating mine, we walked together to the front door.

my eyes traced the stars as i lifted a hand and connected them each like a child with a coloring page.

the empty container with crumbs laid between matt and i as we looked at the sky like corny teenagers.

matt wanted it, i keep telling myself. but i loved it so much.

matt was sitting up, sitting with his legs crossed and his hand gently caressing my hair.

i turned to him and smiled softly, which resulted in matt letting out a deep sigh.

he removed the container from between us and laid down beside me, gently holding my hand and allowing the sides of our heads to touch gently.

a comfortable silence emerged from between us, and i turned to face matt after a few minutes.

"what are your brothers like? i'd love to meet them," i breathed with a soft hum, and matt just smiled softly, a soft laugh escaping his lips.

"um.. well," he started with a deep sigh, exhaling with another laugh. "i love them more than life itself. but they're my brothers. we're bound to have arguments and whatnot." he rambled, before he sighed and turned to me.

i was just looking at him and nodding, a soft smile remaining on my face. "i love that."

we sat in silence for a few more moments before i decided to speak up again.

"i wish i knew more about my family backstory.. my mom and why she left, my dad.." i emphasized, a soft sigh leaving me.

matt kept looking at me, his blue eyes serious as he nodded along with my words. "maybe you can try asking him?" he pitched, but i chuckled.

"no no, trust me. i've tried it all." i stared at the sky before i turned to matt and smiled. "i'll figure something out.. don't worry."

matt gave me a soft nod before he moved to wrap his arms around me, planting a soft kiss to my forehead. "you'll figure it out. i know you will."

a loud laugh emerged from me as i booked it out of matt's car, holding myself. "stop tickling me!" i giggled.

matt left his car and followed after me with a bright smile, his arms opening. "what are you talking about?" he questioned innocently as he followed behind me.

i was so caught up in laughing that i didn't even realize his movements stop and his expression fall until i felt my body collide with a much larger one behind me.

i froze and slowly turned around, smiling softly. "hey dad!" i mumbled and chuckled nervously.

"who is this?"

i blinked a few times and turned to matt, then back to my dad. "this is matt!" i smiled.

"who's matt?"

my face fell. i realized that since my dad was hardly home, i never really got around to telling him much about matt.

"he's... my boyfriend," i trailed off, and carefully moved to matt to hold his hand softly. "we started dating a little bit ago, but i never really got around to telling you.."

matt looked like he had just seen a ghost, and my dad was examining the entirety of his features before a soft smile spread across his lips. "come in, matt." he stated softly before going inside.

we both followed closely behind him, matt shooting me an expression that i couldn't exactly read.

"take a seat, i'll make some tea." he stated softly as he gestured towards the dining room table and left towards the kitchen.

matt sat beside me and gently tugged on my hand in his lap, looking into my eyes. "you didn't tell me your dad was going to be home tonight," he stated quietly to me, and i shrugged softly back.

"i had no idea, matt," i defended, and he shot me a sarcastic smile.

"here you go, matt, and here, y/n." my dad placed two cups of tea down in front of us.

matt smiled warmly as he took a sip of the tea. there was an uncomfortable silence before my dad cleared his throat and decided to speak up.

"so matt, what're your intentions with my daughter?"

"dad-" i interrupted, and matt just chuckled softly, waving me off.

"i just want to make her happy, sir, nothing else." he stated.

i smiled softly at matt and he gently took my hand, squeezing it.

my dad let out a soft hum as he sipped his own cup of tea and shrugged. "i see." he stated.

i looked between the two as i blinked a few times, watching as the two seemed to have practically a stare-down. i didn't really get it.

"well i should probably get going," matt started as he stood up and held out his hand for my dad, a soft smile on his face. "it was great meeting you, sir."

i watched as my dad firmly shook his hand and smiled, waving him off.

i quickly stood up and walked matt out, smiling softly as him as i stepped out front. "sorry for the sudden meeting parents thing," i mumbled breathily, biting my lip as i looked at my feet.

matt shook his head and took me into a tight hug, kissing the top of my head gently as he hummed and swayed us softly. "it's okay. it had to happen eventually." he gently rubbed my back as he closed his eyes. "i had fun with you today." he stated softly.

i nodded and smiled softly, leaning into his embrace and hugging his waist softly.

once pulling away, i pressed my lips to his softly. we both smiled against one another, and once i began to pull away, matt leaned closer to keep our lips attached for a little longer before finally pulling away. "text me before you sleep?" he asked, and i nodded eagerly in response.

"text me when you get home." i whispered, gently letting go of his hand.

i watched as matt went to his car and started it, driving off before i made my way back inside. i looked at my dad and sighed softly. "sorry that was so sudden. you just haven't been home." i mumbled, but stopped when i noticed him frantically looking for something. "what are you looking for?"

he didn't turn to me, but instead kept searching under things in the kitchen. "my ring." he stated.

i furrowed my eyebrows. "the really big one that i hate?" i questioned, and he turned to me with an annoyed expression, making my own expression falter. "sorry."

"yes, that one." he stated.

i blinked a few times as i looked around. "you probably just left it somewhere or dropped it. it's okay." i smiled reassuringly, but he just rubbed his forehead and sighed.

"i'm going to go to bed now. goodnight, y/n. your boyfriend was nice." he stated and placed a soft kiss on my forehead before he walked to his room.

i blinked as i stared at him, looking down. i was so confused. but instead of pushing further or pondering harder on it, i shrugged it off and went to my room.

"a ring?"

chris and nick looked at matt with a confused expression, but matt bit his lip and set it down on the counter.

it was a large black ring, a little uncomfortably large, and it resembled a woman in a veil. "he's the leader." he stated firmly.

"where did you get this, matt?" nick stated, carefully picking up the ring and inspecting it.

"y/n's dad. he's the leader of black veil operations." matt stated, biting his lip.

nick and chris seemed to connect the dots.

"they want us to kill y/n just to get under his skin," chris thought out loud, looking between the two.

matt just rubbed his forehead and nodded, looking at them with a determined expression. "i won't let anything happen to her, i don't care what i have to do." matt stated firmly. "i really like her."

nick and chris looked at each other with a bit of sympathy as they nodded.

"we'll make sure nothing bad happens to her too, matt." nick stated firmly, a soft smile on his face.

y/n - just now hey matt, just got in bed. did you get home safe?

i carefully covered myself in my blanket and smiled at the response that popped up on my screen.

matt - just now got home a little bit ago, sleep well ok?

i smiled softly and hearted the message before typing a response and going to bed.

y/n - just now you too <3

taglist;; @star-saturn-xx @sturniolo-girl @p1xieswrld @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @sweetbabydoe @iloveneilperry @matty-bear @sillysillygyal (comment to be added !!)

#sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #matt x reader #matthew x reader

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mbappebby · 8 months

Text

Little Leclerc || Eight

Ollie Bearman x Madelyn Leclerc (OC)

Summary: Madelyn gets her first podium in F1, the same weekend Ollie gets his first win in F2. They really are THE racing couple..

Requested: Yes, by anonymous: Hey!! Can I request something where Ollie won his first race in F2, then he goes to watch Madelyn race and she gets on the podium for the first time? He’s very proud of her as well had all the other drivers!! Thank you, loving the series can’t believe it’s coming to an end :(

Words: 1.8K +

Series

Taglist: @christianpulisic10 @callsignwidow @honethatty12 @lorarri @shamelesspotatos @formulas-bitch @topguncultleader @meabhcavanagh @eugene-emt-roe @eutrizbea

a/n: Been awhile, I hoped you guys like it though! If you want to be added to the taglist let me know by messaging me or commenting! Thanks for all the support on this series, it’s crazy!!

The whole Prema garage filled with cheers when Ollie crossed the line first place. His first win for the team, his first win in F2.

Madelyn was stood by Charles behind the barrier to see with three cars pull up. Arthur had got P3, when he got out the car he instantly ran to his siblings.

“First podium! Proud of you!” Madelyn told him as Arthur hugged her tightly. “Thank you Mads, I’m sure you are proud of Ollie as well” Arthur added.

Madelyn saw Ollie running to his team and family and started to celebrate his first win in F2 with them. Ollie took off his helmet and locked eyes with his girlfriend.

The Prema driver had a big smile on his face when he ran over to her and they hugged tightly. “I’m so proud of you, your first win baby!!” Madelyn exclaimed as they kissed.

“I love you,” Ollie mumbled and kissed her forehead. “I love you too Oll, I’ll catch up with you later okay? Now go and collect that trophy and celebrate” Madelyn told him.

“I sure will!” Ollie added as he walked away towards the podium. Madelyn smile brightly seeing her boyfriend and brother on the podium together.

Madelyn hid behind Charles as Arthur and Ollie sprayed a bit of their champagne over them. “Hey! I’m not a shield!” Charles told her.

“Well, you are now” Madelyn said as Charles rolled his eyes at his sister. Madelyn made a hear shape with her hands to Ollie, he replied with a wink.

“Awh look at you two, disgusting” Charles mumbled. “Shut up, this is why I like your girlfriend better than you” Madelyn added which made Charles nudged her slightly.

“Rude” Charles replied. “Just the truth, Charlie” Madelyn told him.

@ madelynleclerc

Liked by prema_racing, arthur_leclerc and 716,915 others

madelynleclerc: So proud of you, mon amour❤️🐻

view all 18,628 comments

username Awhh, you guys are so cute!!

username You guys are THE racing couple🤩

username Awhhh! Congrats Ollie!!

username So cute!!!

username 🤩🤩🤩

olliebearman Love you Lynnie❤️

madelyn.leclerc I love u moree❤️

username They’re actually so cuteeee🥰

username Congrats Ollie!!

username Ollie is like the only person who calls her Lyn/Lynnie🥹

username Mads and Ollie >>

username 😍😍😍

username I need Maddie to get on the podium now!!

username So cutee🥹

username Cutest couple😍

“Max Verstappen wins the Azerbaijan Grand Prix! Charles Leclerc, comes home second place in his Ferrari but the car behind it going to make the most headlines today—

—the rookie driver Madelyn Leclerc finishes P3!! What a result for her and what a way to make her name in Formula 1! First podium for the rookie, we can’t wait to see what’s in the future for her!” Crofty exclaimed.

“P3 Mads!! What a drive, congratulations, you deserve this so much. Zhou P5, a brilliant result for the team!” Her race engineer called as he could hear the team celebrating in the background.

“Wooo!! Let’s go!! First podium babyyyy!! What a result for the team, c’mon let’s keep it going!!” Madelyn said with a big smile on her face, even though no one could see it.

Madelyn parked her car in the P3 spot, she instantly got out and ran to her crew. She then took her helmet off and ran to her brothers.

“So proud of you Mads,” Lorenzo said after pulling away from the hug. “Thanks Enzo,” Madelyn replied as Arthur pulled her into a tight hug.

“First podium for both of us this weekend, so proud of you!” Arthur told her. “Thank you!!” Madelyn replied as she felt two arms pick her up from behind.

“P3 Mads?! So proud of you, sis!” Charles exclaimed as he put her down and kissed her forehead. “Thank you Char, congrats on P2” Madelyn added.

Madelyn went over and drank some water before she was lifted up once again. “Congrats lil sis!” Max exclaimed and put her down.

Madelyn turned around and hugged him. “Thank you Max” Madelyn said with a smile. “You deserve it so much!” Max added. “Maddie!!” Pierre called.

Madelyn ran over to him and they hugged tightly. “So proud of you!! P3 in your rookie year?!” Pierre added. “Thank you, it’s crazy” Madelyn said.

After the interview, Madelyn made her way into the cool-down room. Charles and Max were already there, the three started to talk about the car while watching the replays before they were called for the podium.

Madelyn had a big smile on her face as she lifted the trophy up, she pointed to her team who cheered for her loudly.

Once it was time for the champagne, Max and Charles had teamed up against Madelyn. The young girl was drenched but she didn’t care at that moment.

She had just gotten her podium in formula 1 in her rookie year.

Madelyn had changed into new clothes after all the celebrations had finished. There wasn’t many people left in the paddock, Madelyn got all her things and made her way out of the garage.

When she did that, she finally saw the one person she wanted to see as soon as she crossed the line. Madelyn ran and jumped in Ollie’s arms.

“I’m so proud of you, Lyn!! You got a fucking podium in your rookie year in f1!!” Ollie exclaimed as they were hugging tightly.

“Thank you Oll,” Madelyn added as they kissed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there at the podium” Ollie replied as they pulled away. “It’s okay, you’re here now” Madelyn mumbled.

“What a weekend for us, eh?” Ollie added. “What a weekend, indeed..” Madelyn said with a smile. “I love you so much” Ollie told her.

“I love you too Ol, c’mon race you to the entrance!” Madelyn said as she took off running. “Lynnie! That isn’t fair!!” Ollie shouted and ran after her.

The couple laughs could be heard by everyone who was still in the paddock, many crew members smiled at the young pair.

Two drivers who were still in the paddock, was Madelyn’s brother and teammate. The two Ferrari drivers watched the couple as they were also making their way towards the entrance.

“They are made for each other, I’m glad we both told you and Arthur off that day” Carlos said. “Glad you guys did that, I can see how much they belong together” Charles added with a smile.

@ madelyn.leclerc

⚫️⚪️

⚪️⚫️

Liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 2,527,971 others

madelyn.leclerc To all the people who said I don’t belong in this sport, this podium was for you😌

On a serious note, what a weekend for us!! P3 and P5, this was for you team!! I still can’t believe in my rookie year I got on the podium, it’s crazy and I cannot thank the team and everyone else who is involved enough. Also happy to share the podium with Charlie & Maxie, it’s only upwards from here❤️

tagged: zhouguanyu24 alfaromeoorlen

view all 21,260 comments

username Let’s go Maddie!!!!

username P3 in an Alfa Romeo🤩

username Best rookie🥰

alfaromeoorlen Maddie🤩

madelyn.leclerc Teamm❤️

username You deserve this so much!!!

username 🤩🤩🤩

arthur_leclerc Tellement fier de toi❤️ (so proud of you)

lorenzotl Petite sœur, fier❤️ (little sister, proud)

madelyn.leclerc Je t’aime❤️ (Love you)

username Leclerc’s >>>

username When Maddie ran to her brothers🥹

username 🔥🔥🔥

username Maddie deserves to be in the sport, end of.

charles_leclerc Fier de ma petite sœur❤️ (Proud of my little sister)

madelyn.leclerc Merci, Char❤️ (thank you)

username Charles🥰

username Charles looked so proud of Mads when she lifted her trophy🥹

username Queennn😍

maxverstappen1 Nice sharing with you lil sis❤️

madelyn.leclerc ❤️🤝

username I love their friendship!!

username Max and Charles teaming up and drenching Maddie is champagne🥰

@ olliebearman

Liked by charles_leclerc, prema_racing and 883,624 others

olliebearman: Proud of you Lynnie❤️

tagged: madelyn.leclerc

view all 14,825 comments

username What a weekend for you guys!!🤩

username Yeah, you guys are THE racing couple😍

username Maddie got a podium, woo!!!

username 🤩🤩🤩

madelyn.leclerc I love u Ol, what a weekend❤️

olliebearman ❤️

username You guys are so cute!!

username What a beautiful weekend🥰

username 🔥🔥🔥

username Ollie and Maddie >>>

username I love you guys so much!!

username 😍❤️

#f1 #f1 imagines #formula 1 #charles leclerc x sister #charlesleclerc #arthur leclerc x sister #charles leclerc imagine #arthur leclerc #arthur leclerc imagine #ollie bearman x leclerc!sister #leclerc brothers #leclerc!sister #leclerc!reader

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cinnbar-bun · 1 year

Text

Unrefined

Pairing: P5 Protag x GN!Reader (Ren Amamiya is used as his name)

Summary: Ren is happy to see you again after being separated from you for many years since you two were children. However, he knows he's not exactly the best choice for a boyfriend. In order to look cool, he tries to approach you as Joker.

Of course, reality isn't always that easy and he learns that looking cool isn't the most important thing when it comes to love and friendships.

Rating: G

A/n: Ahhhh I'm loving P5R and I'm loving Ren very much!

Ren was many things growing up. He was rather lackadaisical, unsure of himself, and oftentimes, just plain messy. He was caring and sweet, but his airheadedness had, on multiple occasions, led to some awkward encounters with other people. It was mostly through growing up together that you had understood what he really meant, but not everyone was willing to make the time.

You two had been inseparable as kids, always doing everything with one another. You had seen each other at your most awkward and weirdest- like when you got braces or when he broke his arm trying to do cool moves on the jungle gym. You dressed up in matching costumes and outfits for all sorts of events. He even took you to the middle school dance when no one else bothered with you two. You shared your dreams, worst nightmares, struggles- everything.

Yet, that connection had to be strained when your parents were relocated to Tokyo for work.

His home just wasn’t the same without you. So you two tried to keep contact with each other every day. Texting, calling, sending emails or doing video calls together was such a normal part of his routine.

He told you about how your old home was doing, anything new that was going (there was rarely anything new, though) so a majority of it was spent discussing Tokyo.

“You’d never believe all the lights! It’s crazy bright over here.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can. Sounds like a hassle, though. Aren’t all those people and lights annoying?”

You only laughed at his response- of course shy and withdrawn Ren would never love a city like this.

Years passed and you two did your best to continue talking, but slowly every day became every other day, to maybe once a week, to sporadically whenever. There was just a lot to deal with, and life at Shujin Academy was anything but easy. He just had to settle for brief text messages and possible calls and gifts for things like birthdays and holidays.

He was stressed after his hearing, so he broke his personal rule of trying to leave you some space to send a message.

Hey it’s kinda urgent do you have time to call?

“Hey, Ren, what’s u-,” you gasped. You looked at him like he was an alien from outer space, and he figured it must be because of how awful he looked right now.

“Something wrong? You just stopped talking,” he commented.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. What’s up? You said it was urgent. Are you doing okay?” You sent a barrage of questions his way and Ren slid a hand through his hair.

“Want the good news or bad news first?” He responded, ignoring your questions.

“Um…” you rose an eyebrow at what he could have possibly done to warrant this question. “Bad first?”

“I’m on probation.”

“WHAT?” You screamed, yet Ren didn’t flinch. “What do you mean probation? What the hell did you do?”

“Some asshole framed me for assault when I was protecting a woman,” he casually answered, as if it was just a normal occurrence for him.

“Seriously? And you still got in trouble?”

“Yeah. It sucks, honestly,” he sighed.

“Jeez I’m…” You looked crestfallen at his explanation and he felt bad he made you feel so glum. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. Besides, there’s some good news.”

“What’s the good news? Please don’t give me another heart attack.”

“I’m moving to Tokyo. Some guy my parents are friends with is taking me in while I’m on probation. And I’m going to that Sunshine Academy you go to.”

“It’s Shujin, for one thing,” you corrected him. “But you’re really coming to Tokyo? Oh my gosh, it’s gonna be like the old times again! I have so many places to show you and take you! You’re gonna love it, I promise.”

“Eh, I dunno. I’m just gonna try and avoid those places. Sorry, I know you probably wanted it to be super fun and all, but I don’t wanna go to jail. It’s a miracle they even left me with only probation. I’m even donning a disguise.”

“A disguise? What do you mean?”

He pulled up a pair of black, thick-framed glasses.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and shook your head.

“That’s not a disguise. Come on, Ren, you can’t be serious.”

“I am. Look,” he put the glasses on and you stared at him deeply. You looked deep in thought and he wondered what was crossing your mind. “See? No one would punch a guy with glasses.”

“You’re hopeless,” you chuckled at his antics.

“But you still love me, right?” He whined, pouting like a child.

“Of course,” you said, the words slipping right out of you. A warm smile crept on your lips as you gazed at him. “So… when you come to Tokyo, I’ll make sure you have the best probation ever. You can even visit my house. It’s got a nice view of the city and we have a great diner nearby.”

He smiled for what felt like the first time in a while since this miserable incident.

“Thanks, (Y/n), I know I can always count on you.”

A few more pleasantries were exchanged and you two logged off, leaving him staring alone at his own reflection from his computer. He looked down at himself and frowned.

Great, he was going to see his best friend (and crush) for the first time in years, and it’s because he was accused of committing a crime. In some ways, though, he felt safe with you and could put his probation aside.

He hoped you would continue to be his friend in Tokyo. It was probably going to be a long year there, and he wasn’t looking forward to all the judgmental people. So much for being a guy you could depend on. Just like always, you were the one who would have to help him and accept him. He wished he was not this lame dude who couldn’t even handle a few rumors, but this isolation was killing him.

----

Ren always knew he wasn’t the most attractive guy ever. Or the smartest. Or the most courageous or confident. Barely had any talents or future aspirations beyond “just make it to the weekend”. He was pretty below-average, all things considered. And he was honest about that, like he was with pretty much everything else. He didn’t like beating around the bush or lying to others.

Sadly, his big mouth got him into this probation (he still didn’t regret it) but man, it was exhausting to try and bite his tongue back at every opportunity.

He couldn’t fight back or argue when the people made audacious claims about him. Couldn’t say a thing when people purposefully riled him up to get him to act out. Ren couldn’t even properly ask out the best friend he had loved since they were kids. Nor could he defend them whenever someone tried to spread rumors about them because of their association with him.

But, that was Ren.

Joker, however, was a completely different story. Joker was cool, suave, elegant- everything the clumsy second-year wasn’t. He could flirt with monsters and defeat evil while looking completely badass doing it.

But it’s not like he could be Joker all the time, not with the Phantom Thieves working in the shadows and him still being under the watchful eye of almost everyone in society. He had to keep it quiet.

Joker was Ren’s safe space to act out and be the man he wished to be. No one knew who he was, no one held any expectations for him- they just knew he was there to get the job done. And he did it, flawlessly, every time.

Which is why it was frustrating Ren would get so tongue-tied the minute he wished to talk to you.

The years were kind to you- very kind to you, actually- and he marveled at how you grew to be more confident and proud than when you were younger. You had a steady head on your shoulders, leading you to be the secretary of the student council and great in your club activities.

He wished he could spill everything to you, everything about the Phantom Thieves, the Metaverse, personas- it would be so much easier if you knew. But he knew that if he bothered, you would simply laugh and say he probably was pounding too many energy drinks. None of it was believable, even to his own self.

He hated lying to you, he despised it so much, but you were too understanding to call him out on his bullshit. You knew he was lying through his teeth about being ‘busy’, and he knew you were lying when you would smile and say you were ‘fine’ when he would miss out on another outing.

He didn’t know how to make it up to you or truly admit he was the Phantom Thief that had grown so popular.

He had brought this question up to his team members, and frankly, all of them were sending mixed signals.

“Do not reveal your identity to them! They could be a traitor and rat us all out! Or worse, they could try and use you!” Makoto would say.

“You should totally reveal it! And you love them a lot, right? Maybe you can make it up to them by taking them to an all-you-can-eat buffet with extra dessert!” Ann squealed.

“No, make it meat! They gotta love that, right?” Ryuji would add.

“I would say a buffet is not classy enough. You wish to showcase your heart’s true intentions to them, no? You should whisk them away to a beautiful resort and craft a gorgeous jewel that they can wear to remind them of you and-”

“Yusuke… you do recognize Ren is a poor high school kid, right?” Futaba raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think he even has a dollar to his name, right now.”

“I have twenty dollars to my name, thank you very much,” Ren corrected. “Wait- no- that’s not the point.”

And then he was back to square one. Sure, he read Reckless Casanova and The Art of Charm, and it did help as Joker, but he was helpless when it came to you.

There’s no way you’d like whimpering, pathetic Ren, especially when compared to the city boys of Tokyo, who were way flashier, energetic, and could treat you right. Unlike him, who couldn’t even say a word when people smeared your name.

That’s when a thought came to mind- he should confess to you as Joker! Joker was everything Ren was not, and you’d surely fall for him, right? All he’d have to do is play it cool as Joker, and you’d be swooning for him in no time!

He imagined the scenario in his head.

You were there, sitting in your dark room with your balcony window open. He would jump through the buildings and smoothly glide to your balcony. You would be breathless at the sight of this handsome phantom thief, who looked so similar to someone you knew, but unlike him, this man was cooler. Better. Smarter. He was the entire package.

You would be crying over that lame good-for-nothing boy who gave you nothing but trouble, and Joker would wipe your tears away.

Perhaps he’d say a really nice line in French to really hammer in the ‘phantom thief’ act. You’d embrace him and he’d confess your undying love to him, and you would accept it in a heartbeat.

Yeah, this plan had zero chance of failing.

----

Ren, donning his disguise and mask, descended upon your rooftop. He made sure to be as quiet as possible, hoping to fulfill the dream movie scenario he had planned up. It was foolproof, he’d smugly thought.

As he was preparing to jump down to your balcony, he noticed something shuffling near him.

Was it someone watching him? He turned back to see a group of rats in the darkness, watching him.

“Shoo! Go away!” He swatted at them. Some went scrambling and he thought he was in the clear. That was until he heard their chittering and squeaking. The group had ran back to him and were hissing at him, and he brought out his dagger. “Shit-!”

The rats lunged at him and he quickly jumped down on your balcony to avoid getting bitten by one of them. He crashed onto the floor and groaned in pain, cursing the rats and the concrete of the balcony.

He heard some shuffling and the balcony door swung open, revealing a very angry you with your cellphone at your side.

“Wonder what-” you screamed as you locked eyes with him, and slammed the door shut. “Who the hell are you?! Get the hell out of here or I’m calling the police!”

You typed something on your phone and Ren was panicking. Shit, he couldn’t mess up or get caught by the police. That would ruin his life and everyone else in the Phantom Thieves’s life.

“W-wait! S’il vous plait!” He screeched one of the few phrases of French he knew. He slapped himself internally at the fact he even used French when you were trying to call the cops.

Great job, brainiac.

You seemed taken aback by him until you put your phone down and raised a knowing eyebrow at him.

“Ren? What are you doing?” You asked.

Now he was in deep shit. He quickly stood up and posed by the balcony, as if he was just casually strolling by.

“I don’t know who-” Crap, I can’t use my voice. He cleared his throat and tried to make it deeper. “Uh, I mean, I don’t know who this ‘Ren’ person is.”

You looked unimpressed, and he knew his cover was blown.

“Ren, what’s with the get up and trying to break into my house?”

“I assure you, (Y/n), I was not trying to break into your house!” He answered in his fake, deep voice.

You strode over to him, and he leaned back into the balcony ledge, trying to avoid touching you.

Too close! Too fast! Shit! Abort! Abort! Abort mission! We’ll get them next time!

“So, mysterious stranger who is not Ren,” you sarcastically began, “what are you doing here?”

You stepped closer and he leaned closer against the edge. He peered down and saw how far below the sidewalk was and gulped.

“I-I am- gah!” He felt his body slip over the ledge after he tried to lean against it. He yelped and quickly brought out his grappling hook and shot it to your balcony, before slinging himself back up.

He sat on the ledge, crossing his leg over the other and running a hand through his hair as if he wasn’t about to fall to his death just seconds before.

“I couldn’t help but um, couldn’t help but be taken aback with your beauty, mon amour!” He dramatically stated, winking at you and handing you a (crumpled) rose he had picked out earlier for this very moment.

Unlike in the dream sequence he conjured up, you were not breathless or swooning- instead, you were laughing.

“Oh my gosh, Ren, what the hell is all this?” You said in between bouts of laughter.

Normally, he loved your laugh, but in this situation, he felt his pride crumble to dust.

“I… I, uh…” Not even Joker could save him. He could practically hear Arsene in the back of his head howling in laughter at the way he messed up.

Ren sighed and took off the mask.

“Yeah, okay, you figured it out, it’s me,” he said, defeated and exhausted. You wiped the tears out of your eyes and examined him.

“Wait, no way! You’re part of the Phantom Thieves-” you loudly exclaimed, and Ren shushed you quickly.

“You can’t reveal it out loud! I’m not even supposed to be here!”

“Sorry,” you complied, whispering to him. “You’re part of the Phantom Thieves?”

He nodded.

“Yes, you’re looking at the leader of them.”

“No way…” You stared, gobsmacked.

“Listen, I get it, it’s hard to believe and you may think I’m crazy but-”

“Huh? This explains everything!” You grinned. “I just… I just thought you were avoiding me and didn’t wanna see me again. You avoided me for so long and always hung out with the others, I assumed you got tired of me! But really, you were a part of the Ph-”

“Shhhh! Not so loud!” He whisper-shouted.

You fanned yourself and he noticed your eyes were becoming wet with tears. Your face was turning red and you were straining yourself to not cry.

“Crap, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he apologized. “This wasn’t how I wanted this to go…”

“Well, you idiot, of course you make me cry. We were best friends and this whole time I thought you hated me. Why didn’t you just tell me sooner? Why didn’t you trust me? Did you think I would have told on you? And now you’re coming here randomly at night and pretending you’re not even you! Don’t you know how that looks to me?”

“I know, I know I…” he shamefully looked at the ground. “I know. I messed up. I messed up really bad but that’s why I came. I didn’t know who to trust, and I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me. And I see that I was the fool for not believing in you to begin with. You were always too good for me, (Y/n). So I wanted to be upfront with you and give you this.”

Ren extended his hand to show the broken rose again as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m not perfect. I’m not as handsome, or as rich, or as cool as the other guys and I am a huge coward. I run at every opportunity. But I wanted to have you see me as… you know… someone better than me. Someone who could treat you right, defend you, and not have you always try to care for them. I know I’ve been an asshole, and I wanted to fix it. I wanted to just be someone you could rely on for a moment. Because you mean the world to me. Always have.”

You gasped and he looked at you to see your reaction. A few tears had fallen down your cheek and you covered your mouth in shock.

“Sorry, I know you’re probably upset so I’ll leave-” he began, putting a leg over the ledge to jump down when you grabbed him.

“D-don’t walk away, idiot! You didn’t even let me respond!” You shouted tearfully. He settled back onto the balcony and you threw your arms around him. “You’re really dense. You’re not a bother to me and I don’t want anyone but you. I don’t want this Joker guy, or those other people in our school. I just want you, Ren. Did you really think I would continue hoping for you to see me more if I didn’t care for you? Did you really think I would wait around for just about anybody?”

Now he felt his face heat up.

“Wait, you mean it? You like me too?” His gray eyes sparkled under the moonlight and his smile was wide. He must have looked so stupid, but he didn’t care at this moment. He was just happy you didn’t hate him and actually liked him!

“Yes, but if you wanna make it up to me, you have to promise something.” You pushed yourself off of him for a brief moment and had a serious look on your face.

“Anything.”

“No more lying to me like that. Please don’t hide things from me.”

“I promise.”

“Good. Don’t underestimate the both of us together. I rely on you just as much as you rely on me, silly. You don’t have to be anything other than you. I like how dorky and lame you are sometimes.”

Ren let out an offended gasp.

“I’m not dorky!” You smirked and pulled him down by the collar. He felt his heart race a mile a minute and he was curious what you were going to do next.

“Shut up and kiss me already, Ren,” you laughed, and he felt himself melt at the sound of your voice.

“Of course, my treasure,” he grinned as he tried to go through every tip those romantic books wrote in his head.

He pressed his lips against yours gently, almost unsure if he should even go through with it. You kissed him back and he felt himself slowly let go of his insecurities and enjoy your presence like this.

The need for air arose so he (unfortunately) separated himself from you. You laughed quietly as you stared into his eyes, and he wanted to memorize every detail about you.

“You kiss a bit too well, Ren, don’t tell me you practiced with someone else?” You teased.

“N-no I just… read a lot of books.” You snorted at his response and pressed a kiss to his nose.

“Gosh, you’re the best. Don’t tell me you also learned your terrible French from those books too?”

“Maybe…”

Sure he wasn’t perfect, but in this moment. There was nobody he’d rather be than himself in all his imperfect glory.

#persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #persona 5 protagonist #persona 5 protagonist x reader #ren amamiya x reader #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #akira kurusu x reader #my writing

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samarecharm · 21 days

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i love makoto so much but fanon does her so much better (the good parts of the fandom) because in the game her character is so lack luster. they butchered her confidant it is so borning and not even about her. they made her a cop. A COP. they pushed this "canon waifu" role onto her (before sumire came along and did it Even Worse). and it SUCKS because SHE IS SO MUCH MORE!!! SHE IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! SHE COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER!!! the way i feel about canon makoto is the same way i feel about the canon ryuji events post komoshida where he's horribly mistreated and used purely as comic relief: i ignore them <3 my game now <3 never happened <3 my ocs <3

You are so right. I generally apply this to all characters in p5 bc the game does such a shit job of staying consistent with character arcs and personalities. Theres a desperate need to throw in perverse jokes at the expense of female characters and a need to show that the police (as a whole) are reliable people who are not influenced by things like money and power; only the BAD cops do that. Not to mention this obvious fatphobia and homophobia but i feel likes thats a given.

But back to Makoto. Shes a victim of bad writing just like everyone else. Ryuji during the kamoshida arc was fighting with self loathing and genuine anxiety, and aside from the like. One comment on Panthers outfit in the metaverse, hes more than well behaved. All of that is shelved as soon as Kamoshida is gone and replaced with him being weird comic relief (and the focus of alot of sexual jokes that were nonexistent in the beginning of the game). Anns arc about self love and empowerment is completely dropped as soon as the nasty bad guy is put away (so that its good to be weird about her w the Good Guys). Makoto loses her a chunk of her personality to be the mature waifu which is INSANE to me bc shes like. Not okay or normal at all 😭😭😭 she THINKS shes responsible and so does everyone else on her team, but its an act! She doesnt know shit! And she doesnt know that she doesnt know shit bc shes respectful and adults dont care about anything as long as u respect them!

Its very telling that for literally every single thief (and goro), you can see the exact moment the writers gave up on adding anything of worth to their characters outside of the social links. Its like they didnt know what to even do w the characters at their disposal after their main arcs were complete. No mention of friends hanging out without you, no mention of having group hangouts. Everyone is treated as a core, important member of the friend group DURING their arc, but outside of it, they are acquaintances at best. Theres nothing in the game that convinces you that these guys are legitimately friends who care for each other and do Friend Things. And i describe it like that bc there IS a game that treats them all as friends, and its strikers! Strikers/Scramble genuinely feels like the game p5 wanted to be; a road trip w your team where they stay up at night talking to each other and hanging out and doing things together that dont necessarily include you, the player. Its refreshing and lovely but it sucks that u get that kind of attention to detail in a ‘spinoff’ title

#chattin #i hesitate to use spinoff bc its a pretty big game #and theres an amazing plot with wonderful characterization #and their handling of jails and jail owners is LEAGUES better than the bs they tried to make up w palace users #and all the thieves feel like family. and not in the annoying fandom way; like #were family in the same way a family is forged and tended to. i love you. no one is left behind. no one is made to feel inferior another #its really good and honestly if u want more interactions between everyone i really recommend a playthrough #but yeah #p5 sucks #i love it but i love the version of it i made in my head LMAO #maybe p5r did a better job w the dialogue and some questionable scenes #(i wouldnt know. i didnt play it lol)#so maybe thats what people need to be using as a point of reference #but i only plyed p5 so this is what i have; a group of people who show up for meetings and then go about their life #and that kinda sucks. why make this wholly unique experience in which these teens can only relate to each other #make them bonded over their shared experience w this unbelievable world #and then not only make them NOT interact; but have the end be ‘okay by akira.’ and leave it at that #they just. didnt know what to do w anyone #they needed their girls to be waifubait and the boys to be an afterthought #they needed a buffet of older woman for pathetic men to fuck through their self insert #and they needed a story convoluted enough to keep people stuck trying to figure it out themselves #its bad. its so bad. its so fucking bad. but i have to be here. WE have to be here.#bc who else is going to take these characters out of hell and treat them right ??!!!

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intertexts · 28 days

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OK OK SINCE U ARE PRETTY FAR INTO PD NOW. I NEED TO ASK. DO U HAVE A FAVORITE CHARACTER. do u have a favorite moment. whos backstory are u the most interested in seeing. what are u excited to learn about the world . I AM PUTTING UR BRAIN UNDER A MICROSCOPE AND DISSECTING IT IVE GOTTA KNOW. what villains are u most afraid of. write me an essay on ur feelings about mark winters. etc etc etc etc WHATEVER U WANNA TALK ABT RN im standing in the middle of a field like a scarecrow and just SCREAMING at the sky

OHHHHHH MAN DUDE LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE A FAVORITE OF ANYONE. FUCKK. GOD.

ok putting all of this under a cut because its so fucking long???

ok ok ok. lets see. they r all so so so good it's impossible 2 choose but also iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii really fucking like dakota dude..... i like him so much. so much. i will admit. i am a massive fucking fan of a character who stays silly. massive fucking fan of the emotional king dedede hammer that comes down when the silly guy drops the silliness. i love it when characters literally r incapable of processing their emotions. gebuinely i don't know what he put in that guy but it is cartoonish the way my neurons light up at him its not quite akechi from p5 levels of FUCKKK YEAH THIS GUY MY FUCKED UP LITTLE GUY!! but it is Getting Close!!!

whose backstory.... fuck. okay. Most interested in wiwi's backstory. of course. i AM really interested in vyncent's whole deal but i feel like his fucked up knife that possesses him (?????????) is slightly more of a specific thing than backstory. and i DO wanna know howww the jrpg protag isekai'd here but also like. consider... wiwi. also i wanna know if im right & ashe/ashes fucked up demon grimoire r responsible for his mom's death. ALSO I WANNA KNOW WHY MARK'S A LIZARD GUY.

FAVORITE MOMENTS SO FAR.... i LOVED the spirit world shit it was all so cinematic it was so lovely. usually im dogshit at like, visualizing descriptions in my head? but all of that was very much oh, yeah for sure, ive seen this cartoon! i know whats happening! that whole episode went hard as fuck. can't believe we got vyncent with a gun ashe going holy shit why am i fucking doing this imgonnadie william having a horrifying crisis over eating a fucking soul & dakota getting murked in one episode. & mal is just. on just. such a different level such a different world from Anything else they've experienced. its so good.

also i still really love the winding-down end of that amalgam island ep (5?) where they r exhausted & coming off so many huge emotions & stress & stuff & tide arrives.... that's really the scene that fucking hooked me i think. going ohhh yeah theyre just fucking kids and everyone at this table Knows theyre kids in a world where people will just fucking kill you. like,, yeah, it WOULD be fucked up if you were seventeen and ran into an island full of horrifying human and animal experimentation & abuse!! and theyre not playing it as a motw adventure where its just sillygoofy? ok. ok!! maybe these guys know where theyre taking it. like i can count on one hand maybe the amount of times ive been like "yeah im sure whatever the creators do will be good they've always done good & thoughtful work. i don't have to continually be delegating brain space to how im dissatisfied with this story." so i guess. i just like the show a lot!!

what am i most interested in about the world... ohhh man i love cape worldbuilding it's maybe like one of my favorite things. so i guess i'm interested in All of It?? in an overall probably-wont-be-answered-because-its-not-that-genre way i'd love 2 know what religion looks like in a world where JESUS IS A TRADEMARKED SUPERHERO & kids can come back from the dead. id love 2 know more ab the dynamic btwn politics & the cape world here thats always interesting? i really enjoy the approach they took 2 the kid heroes in the beginning, as in: these guys are literally still students they are not Supposed to be doing big hero shit. theyre not supposed to be doing teen titans or x-men shit & it is in fact a massive massive fuckup on their guardian's part when they Are in those positions. i'm a big fan of that i like it a lot more than the alternative. (unless yr like in a world like parahumans where there Is a narrative & in-universe reason why child & teen cape teams exist)

what villains am i most afraid of....... ok i kind of feel like being afraid of mal is like, being afraid of hurricanes or something. like sure i can be nervous about him but i can't fucking do anything if he's coming this way. so it's better i think to not think about it until it comes up & then pray. so i guess i AM really concerned about the overlord stuff. i dont know where it's gonna go but i know it'll be nowhere good & i know it'll end up getting people hurt. so.!!!!!!

#ahhghghgbhhgghhh. ok. ok this is it for now i think believe me i COULD write a whole essay on mark winters & my feelings on the Winters #Family Shit. maybe i will do that later today actually. god. really good show i havent felt normal since i started it!!!#pd lb #mac tag!

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haejjoon · 1 year

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Recently I was brain-rotting with someone about Joker's sexuality and we both concluded that... He seems kinda uncomfortable in the game. Mostly because of the "There's no turning back..." Msg afterward. Like, Atlus? Why is this so menacing and dreadful? And then you have these several moments of Akira jokingly flirting/or openly flirting with his Bros (gobro included<3)

It's just that nothing happens in relationships... I know you can interpret anything as you want *ahem* Curse Atlus for making silent Protagonists. But I couldn't feel like Akira enjoys it. It is as if he felt that he has to be in relationships with women (I forgot the term name but it's like when you question your sexuality because of heteronormative everywhere)

Of course, it may be just because romance is purely optional so there is no need to write it that in deep. But some romance routes are showing disapproval through Sojiro or Akira's face in model change.

It's just... Seeing Akira smiling after the friendship route with Futaba was such a whiplash for me. He doesn't do it when saying he loves her. I never even KNEW he CAN change his face on a model!!! That made me so curious if his face changes with others by he always facing away from the camera</3

Let me study you, Jokerrrr

(if someone is curious about Futaba, you can find screenshots on @/leonawriter's blog)

So uhh... I am really curious what are your thoughts on Romance in P5 :D

Because there are several posts about some translation misses in Persona for a variety of reasons as well as THESE. DAMN. FLOWER. KEYCHAINS.

Atlus can "queerbait" me as much as Capcom(Ace Attorney) but it is not my fault they have written these characters with homoerotic tension!!!

...or maybe I am just deluded AroAce V.V

So, yeah, sorry for my rant about not well-written romance :'D

HOL ON LETTER COOK???? U HAVE A POINT.

i always saw the romance options as... you know, options, which was why i always took them with a grain of salt. like its kind of ridiculous how little romancing anyone affects the overall plot. i romanced haru my first run through because i thought it'd somehow give her more screentime via plot (jun hhaeyeun u poor, poor fool.)

but you're so right??? whats the in lore reason as to why joker seems so aloof?? from his various options in main plot we know that hes pretty memey, cares a lot for his friends, etc etc. but when u have the option to romance the Girl Of Your Dreams you're suddenly about as emotional as a rock? i think ur onto smth...

not to mention he DOES seem to be super uncomfortable with the options... idk he always seemed like he was just going along with whatever the girl wanted to make her happy, bc he was her friend. one thing in particular that i wanted to point out was ann's romance route, where ur choices are either "you can rely on me" or "you can rely on the others" .... WHAT. like obviously you'd say "i'm here for you", right?? obviously akiren would say that he's here for ann, right?????? personally i think that akiren doesnt even know when hes dating a girl. the horde of girls who castrate him on valentine's day absolutely took him by surprise. he was just being a homie.

(which i think is prettu sad if you think about it... half of the dialogue options to toggle the romance route just sounds like akiren's trying to be friendly. "you can rely on me" "i came here to see you" "you've got me" arent romantic in the slightest. these poor fucking girls... a guy is decent to them One Time and they're over the moon .......... pls u all deserve better)

#character study #persona 5 protagonist

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lovingmattysposts · 4 months

Text

Best Friend’s Brother 10

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12

summary: you just moved into the sturniolo’s home after some family issues and you’re starting to become attracted to your best friend’s brother and you hated yourself for it. But how could you resist?

warnings: there is a scene where a guy tries to come onto y/n, but it is not in descriptive detail there is no sexual indication in the scene he just trying to kiss her, alcohol, cursing, sad, angst

the long awaited bfb 10....this one is a long one so here you go my loves

xoxo, autumn

chris pov

I felt like absolute shit. I’m a horrible person. A horrible selfish person. All my life I’ve allowed myself to pull away from my wants, her. And it worked. It’s worked for the last four years.

One slip up and now I’ve got bloody hands and no one gets what they want. Even caving into my selfish wants, I didn’t think about how it would effect her. Until it was too late.

She probably thinks the worst of me. I would tell her that I loved her too, but she didn’t deserve that. It would rip her apart. She didn’t understand, how could she?

What was I suppose to say? I’ve been dreaming about the night we had when I kissed you for the past four years? She would look at my like I was crazy.

It was better this way. It was better that she didn’t know. I would die with the secret that I loved her too, even if it ate me alive. She wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t understand if I had admitted that I love her too. She would question me. She wouldn’t understand that I loved her so much that I let her go.

Love was suppose to be the most powerful thing in the word. Nothing else was suppose to matter if you had love. But this was far from the truth. Love meant sacrifice. Sacrificing my wants for what she needed. She didn’t need me. I knew she didn’t need me.

I suck. I’m nothing special. I’m afraid if I tried I would fail and she would end up with no one. I’m not good at acting on love. Hell, I wasn’t even good at feeling it.

I slipped up. I got selfish. This was me redeeming myself. She just didn’t know it. She would get over me. She would fall in love and she would forget about that boy who broke her heart on the roof.

Even if I never will.

I’ve been staying at Elmer's house for a few days now. I didn’t want to see her. I never wanted to go back to that house. I was scared. I was scared to face her. I was scared I would take it all back. I was scared I would tell her how long I’ve loved her.

That I would fall to my knees begging her to pick me and that I would never hurt her ever again. But I didn’t know that. I would try, but love was never promised.

She could change her mind.

After this I’m not sure she would even take me back. But I wasn’t going to do that to Nick, and she wasn't either no matter if she thought she wanted to.

Her heart was too big for her body. I wished I could explain it to her, but I couldn’t.

I felt my phone buzz. I picked it up looking down at the notification.

mia

now where have you been hiding? :) miss u big

I sighed and turned my phone off. The last thing I needed was to be in contact with her again. Elmer walked in making me look up.

“Alright spill it, why have you been hiding out here?” He sighed sitting down next to be. I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m not hiding” I mumbled. He raised his eyebrows.

“Really?” He asked blinking at me. I just looked at him. “Did your brothers do something?” He asked. I shook my head. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head smiling.

“It’s a girl isn’t it? The one staying with you?” He asked looking at me making me look off to the side. He sighed. “What’d you do?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know. I fucked up I think” I sighed looking at him. “Then fix it” He shrugged. I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that simple” I stated looking at him. He smiled and nodded. “It never is” He stated. I bit my lip and looked to the side.

I walked into the house quietly before walking into the kitchen seeing my mom standing over the stove. She turned at the sound of me walking. "Hey sweetie. How was Elmer's?" She asked turning to look at me. I let out a breath. "Good" I nodded looking down. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"There's something going on isn't there?" She asked looking at me. I looked up at her. "What?" I asked suddenly. She sighed walking over to me. "You think I don't know you? You are my son. I always know when something's wrong" She stated raising her eyebrows at me.

I bit my lip looking off the side. "There's nothing going on" I stated looking at her. She pursed her lips looking at me. She glanced towards the stairs. "Is it something to do with our new guest?" She asked smiling. I let out a breath and looked down.

"You're scared of Nick aren't you?" She asked. I looked up at her. "Okay, that was creepy" I said looking at her, making her smile. "A mother always knows" She said tilting her head at me. I shook my head.

"It's nothing to worry about Mom, It's nothing anymore" I sighed as I walked over to the fridge. She hummed following me. "You're good at hiding your emotions Chris, just don't let that fact kill you" She said rubbing her hand over my back and then walking out of the kitchen.

I sighed as I leaned against the fridge. I wish I could express my emotions as easily as Nick or Matt, but It was hard. I was so scared to get hurt. So badly, that I hurt the one person I cared about in the process.

y/n pov

"Oh, will you go grab a pack of Pepsi? Chris just drank the last one" Nick said rolling his eyes. I felt my chest spike at the name, but I didn't let it show. I never did. I smiled all day long with Nick, laughing pretending everything was normal, then at night I would retreat into my room and cry and cry and cry.

Is it stupid? We weren't even together. It was like a small taste of glory and that was it. The small taste of what love was suppose to feel like and then reality hit and slapped you in the face. It's so weird to think you know someone or think you know how they feel and then to know you just imagined it all.

He hasn't been home these past few days. I think he's hiding from me, which I honestly appreciated. I'm not sure what I was going to do when I saw his face again.

Even his name mad me sick to my stomach.

"Y/n? Did you hear me?" He asked catching my attention. I looked up to see him smiling at me. "Pepsi right" I said shaking my head. "Go please so we can check out" He said shaking his head. I smiled and shook my head as I turned and walked out of the aisle.

I tried to shake the thoughts out of my mind as my eyes scanned the sodas. Don't think about Chris. Don't think about Chris. I spotted the Pepsi.

Chris.

My eyes started to water as I pulled out the pack and held it. I swallowed and pushed back the tears. I never wanted to look at a damn Pepsi can ever again.

I turned to walk out of the aisle to get rid of this out of my hand before I had a meltdown but I paused, seeing a famailar face.

"Mom?"

She turned and looked at me. She smiled walking back over to me. I stood frozen. "Hello" She sighed crossing her arms over her chest. I swallowed as I looked at her. The last time I saw her I told her I wasn't her daughter anymore.

"Glad to see you're alive" She said looking at me and raising an eyebrow. I clenched my jaw and looked to the side, attempting to adjust my grip of the pack of Pepsi.

"I thought I wasn't your mother anymore" She said looking at me. I blinked up at her. "You never acted like one in the first place" I mumbled looking at her. She rolled her eyes.

"So you've got a boyfriend now?" She asked raising her eyebrow. I furrowed my eyebrows looking up at her. "What are you talking about?" I asked shaking my head. She sighed as she shifted on her feet.

"The boy that came storming in my house and packed all of your things wasn't your boyfriend?" She asked shaking her head. My face dropped. Chris. She was talking about Chris. When he went to my house and got my things. My books. He went face to face with my mother just to get my things. My heart clenched.

"Chris?" I asked. She shrugged. "Is that his name?" She asked. I looked to the side clenching my jaw. "We're not together" I mumbled. She sighed. "Shame. He's cute" She said smiling at me. I glared at her for talking about him.

"Reminds me of your father when he was his age" She said making my grip the soda harder. "Chris is nothing like my father" I said through clenched teeth. She rolled her eyes. "From the way he stormed into the house, I didn't see much difference" She said glaring at me. I dropped the soda walking up to her.

"Don't speak about him like that. He's kind, he would never hurt me" I spat in her face. She raised her eyebrows, unfazed by my approach on her. "So defensive" She breathed. "Makes me think he already has" She said blankly. I swallowed feeling tears come to my eyes.

"I don't have time for this" I huffed stepping back and picking up the soda harshly. "He came back" She said making me stop. I turned back to her. "Your father. He's back" She swallowed looking at me. I bit my lip as I looked at her feeling chills run up my spine. Fighting the urge to ask her if she was okay.

"I don't care" I whispered before turning and walking back toward Nick, trying to shake the conversation that just happened. Nick looked up at me. "Where have you been? Did you get lost?" He joked smiling at me. I turned looking back but seeing no sign of my mother.

"No, I'm fine" I said looking back at him smiling attempting to shake all feeling and emotion of knowing my father was back in town.

"So when do I get to meet Holton?" I asked peering over his phone. He pulled his phone to his chest, looking over at me. "Soon" He stated going back to his texts. I rolled my eyes. "I'm starting to think he's not real" I rolled my eyes leaning back against his headboard. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh he's real alright" He smiled. I cringed and pushed him. "Dude, gross" Matt said from across from us, making me laugh. He set his phone down turning it off and turning towards me, smiling. "You really like him" I stated looking at his face. He smiled and looked down.

"Yeah" He breathed. "I thought it would be scary, but it's not" He shook his head. I just watched him as he spoke. "like being in love? It's pretty cool you know?" He smiled up at me. I swallowed and looked down.

"Well I guess you don't, but still you can imagine" He smiled placing his hand on my knee. I smiled softly up at him and nodded looking over at Matt who was now tuned out of the conversation.

"Yeah I can imagine" I said softly. He sighed leaning back and turning on his TV. I leaned back crossing my arms over my chest trying not to let his words effect me.

Suddenly I heard the door open making my heart drop, because I knew before I looked up who it was going to be. He peeked his light brown hair through the door and peered in making Matt and Nick look up. I stared down at my lap, not even letting myself look up at him. I was too scared.

"Hey" Matt said looking up from his phone. I felt Chris look over at me, but I stayed looking at my lap. "Hey, I'm going out. Don't wait up" Chris mumbled. I picked at my nails as a million thoughts ran through my head. Where was he going? Why was he going out? Who was he going with?

"Oh yeah, you're going to that party with Mia right?" Matt said looking up at him. I physcially felt my heart sink into my chest, feeling my emotions rush through me all the way to my fingertips. Like a wave of sadness rushing through me. I looked up catching Chris's eyes. I bit my lip and looked away, pretending it didn't effect me, but I had to forced the tears out of my eyes.

"Yeah I-" He paused. I didn't look up, but I felt my eyes start to sting. Already? He's moved on already? It hasn't even been a week and he was already going out with her? I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

"I won't be long" He mumbled. I took in a breath. I was strong, but I didn't know If I was this strong. "Okay" Nick said looking up at him. Chris looked over at me one last time before sighing and closing the door.

And that was it.

He was gone.

In more ways than one.

There was someone else already. And I told him I loved him. I was heartbroken and he was going out with someone else. I swallowed. Don't think about it. Don't break. Not in front of Nick.

"Hey, can you go get some waters please?" Nick asked after a few seconds looking over at me. I looked over at him. "Seriously?" I asked. He pouted and looked over at me. I sighed before standing up off the bed. "You're the best friend everrr" He sang as I walked toward his door. I turned and looked at him shaking my head. "I know" I laughed as I closed the door.

The hallway was dark and quiet. I swallowed the all familar fear of maybe seeing or running into Chris being in the front of my head. But he wasn't even here. He was already gone. I didn't know where he went, it's not like he would tell me. I tried not to care, I really tried but it's all I could think about.

I started to walk down the hallway, glancing by his door picturing the scene of us kissing agaisnt the wall feeling my stomach clench. His lips were so soft. His eyes were so blue. Best of all he was him. We were together. I shook my head shaking the imagine from my head as I walked down the stairs.

I sighed as I walked into the kitchen, freezing in place seeing Chris standing leaning against the counter scrolling through his phone. He looked up at me before freezing as well. Silence between us. Just looking at each other. I thought he'd be gone by now.

"Sorry, I was just getting some waters" My voice cracked as I walked up to the fridge, he just watched me. I let out a breath as I stared into the fridge, but I couldn't focus knowing his eyes were on me.

My hands shook as I reached for the waters, begging my emotions to stay deep in my chest. I looked up at him, he just looked at me. I closed the fridge looking at him. "So" I breathed looking down. "Where have you been?" I said quietly looking at him. He bit his lip as he looked at me.

"Elmer's" He stated. I nodded looking down. "How have you been?" He swallowed looking at me. I looked down at the waters, as if they were the most interesting thing in the room. "Good" I lied, and I felt the lie so deep in my chest it hurt me to say it. He let out a breath.

"That's good" He breathed. I looked up at him. He glanced at me. "How are you?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded and looked down. "Yeah, good" He whispered. I swallowed. This was hard. Is this how it was always going to be? So painful?

"Thought you had a party to go to" I swallowed looking at him. He looked at me letting out a breath. "I was about to leave" He nodded. I nodded looking at the ground. "So Mia-" I sighed, I couldn't help myself.

"It's not like that. She just needed someone to go with" He said shaking his head. I looked up at him nodding softly. I swallowed looking down at my feet.

"I saw my mom today" I blurted out making him look up at me with a concerned face. "You did? Where?" He asked stepping towards me. I just watched him. "The grocery store" I whispered. He looked down at me. "She said my dad was back" I swallowed. His face dropped.

"A-Are you okay? What else did she say?" He asked suddenly. I licked my lips and looked to the side. I felt his eyes on me burning into me. I sighed and looked down.

"She asked about my boyfriend" I mumbled and looked up at him. His eyes studied mine, confusion on his face. "The one who got all my stuff from her house" I said looking at him. He sighed and looked down. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I felt tears in my eyes.

"I can't go back there Chris" I whispered shaking my head. "I'm so scared that he knows where I am" My voice broke. "I can't see him again I-" I cried. I felt him wrap his arms around me and pull me into his chest. "It's okay y/n, you don't have to go back there." He whispered against the top of my head as I shook against him.

I let out a hard breath, leaning back and wiping my eyes. he placed his hand on my face wiping my tears before pausing and pulling his hand back. I sighed and looked away from him.

"Why did you do this to me Chris?" I whispered looking away from him. He stayed silent next to me. I glanced over at him. "You broke my heart" I whispered shaking my head. He clenched his jaw and looked to the side.

"Did you even like me?" I cried shaking my head. "Was it worth it?" I asked as he looked over at me. "What was the point?" I said loudly shaking my head. He just stared at me.

"Was it just a game to see if i'd fall for it?" I asked unable to control the words coming out of my chest. "Y/n" He sighed. "No i get it" I shook my hands stepping back from him.

"I don't get a happy ending. I get that. I've known that for a long time" I stated looking at him. "The only part that's fucked up Chris, is that you knew that" I shook my head. "I told you everything with my family and you listened" I said clenching my jaw.

"If it was some game then why did you let me talk to you about that? Did you even care?" I cried shaking my head. He stepped towards me. "Of course I cared" He said looking down at me.

"You don't" I shook my head. "You never did" I swallowed. He just looked sadly at me as I stood in front of him, biting my lip. "Chris why did you let me fall in love with you if you knew you were going to take it all away?" I asked shaking my head pleading for answers. He looked down.

"You don't love me" He whispered. I sighed stepping forwards. "Yes I do. Chris I love you" I stated shaking my head. He looked up at me with an expression I couldn't read.

"You what?"

I froze. Chris froze. My eyes went wide as I looked at Chris. He looked behind me, all color draining from his face. I turned and saw Nick standing there staring at us with a confused expression on his face. I felt my heart start to beat out of my chest as I stared at my best friend.

No. No. No. No.

"Nick" I stepped towards him. He stepped back looking between us. I swallowed as he looked over at Chris. "Chris?" Nick whispered. Chris stood frozen. "Nick, I can explain. I'll explain everything just--" I started to say but he just shook his head stepping back.

"Oh my god" He breathed looking down before turning and walking out. Tears poured out of my eyes. "Nick please wait--" I cried but I felt my arm being pulled back. I turned and saw Chris shaking his head.

"Wait y/n" He said. I pulled my arm away from him. "Don't" I swallowed. "Don't touch me" I said shaking my head as I turned and followed Nick outside. I pushed the door open.

"Y/n don't" He stated warningly as he walked down the driveway. "Nick, please just let me explain" I cried as I walked up to him. He shook his head and didn't look at me as he unlocked his car.

"Nick please. It's not what it looks like" I shook my head. He glared over at me. "Really? Because it looks like you were just telling my brother you were in love with him" He spat looking over at me. My lip quivered as I looked at my best friend who looked at me like I was a stranger.

"Please" I whispered. He clenched his jaw. "So what? Were you just using me to get close to Chris?" He asked looking away from him. I shook my head. "What? No Nick. No, you are the most important person in my life. Please just listen to me" I said quickly. He looked down at me.

"I was not using you, you have to believe me. It just happened" I breathed looking at him. "I don't believe anything you say and I never will again" He breathed before opening the car door and closing it. I just watched him, tears streaming down my face as he pulled out of the driveway.

I swallowed turning back towards the house seeing Chris standing in the doorway. He looked down at me, worry plastered all over his face. I just shook my head and looked away from him as a sob escaped my throat. I pushed past him and ran up the stairs, hearing no footsteps following me as I slammed my door and pressed my back against it.

I covered my mouth to cover the noise of my sobs as I fell against the door sliding down it, as the tears poured out of eyes. I shook my head. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. Please let this be a dream. I cried against my hand, the muffled noise of my cries the only thing echoing through the room.

I tried to breathe but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I lost both of them. I was completely and utterly alone.

I don't know how I got here. My feet just led me here. It wasn't hard to find the address. Just one text message now I stood outside of a loud house party. I tilted my head. I stopped crying on my way here. Now I was just numb. Coming into an acceptance of my fate and what I did to get me to this point.

Now I was just here. Looking at all of the people standing outside of the house. Laughing. Smiling. Happy. I swallowed. I could be like them. I could try. Hell, I had nothing left. I could try.

I looked down at my feet and I thought about everywhere I had gone. Everything I had experienced. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Maybe that was true. But if I never loved him, I would still be happy. I would still have my best friend.

So maybe that was all bullshit.

"You just gonna stand there or you walking in?" A guy said walking beside me. I looked up at him. He stopped and smiled at me. His hair was longer, kind of like Chris. But it wasn't Chris. It was just some other kid. I swallowed.

"I haven't decided yet" I stated wrapping my arms around myself. He smiled and shook my head. "Do I know you?" He asked tilting his head at me. I shrugged. "I don't think so" I stated. He smiled and nodded towards the party.

"So I take it you weren't invited?" He asked looking at the house. "What?" I asked looking at him. "This is my house" He said shrugging chuckling slightly. I looked at the house and then towards the boy. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know" I mumbled looking down at my feet. He shook his head stepping towards me.

"You didn't do anything wrong. You can come in if you want" He stated looking at me. I swallowed turning towards the house. The loud music. It was all overwhelming. Maybe this was a bad idea. I should just go home.

But I didn't know if Nick had gone back yet, or if he wanted to see me yet. That scared me more than the party.

I turned back to him. "You left your own house party?" I asked looking back at him. He smiled holding up a black bag. "Just to get more alcohol" He stated looking at the bag. I looked over the bag. "Alcohol?" I asked as I stared at the bag. He moved the bag back down to his side, chuckling slightly.

"Are you from here?" He asked. I nodded. "I went to Somerville" I stated looking at him. He nodded. "So you aren't from space" He stated making me furrow my eyebrows. "What?" I asked staring at him. He smiled pulling out a bottle.

"You looked at the alcohol like you didn't know what it was" He stated looking at me. I let out a breath. "Yeah, no I know what it is" I nodded swallowing. He smiled.

"I'm Paxton" He said holding out a hand. I looked down at him before shaking it loosely. "Y/n" I stated. He smiled and nodded. "Will you please come into my party y/n?" He asked tilting his head at me making me smile. I let out another hard breath.

"Yeah, I guess" I stated nodding. He smiled and motioned me towards the house. I followed him looking down at my shoes, absolutely terrified to see Chris. I couldn't see Chris. What was I doing here?

We walked into the loud house, the noise overwhemling me. I scanned the room breifly, not seeing any sign of Chris or that Mia girl. Which at this point I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing.

"Hey" I heard his voice again making me look over at him. He motioned me over to him, I hadn't noticed I stopped walking. I moved through the crowd of people before he stopped in front of a counter pulling out bottles of liquor out of the bag and grabbing some cups.

I just watched him, scanning the vodka and jack laid in front of me. My heart beating out of my chest. Visions of a Jack bottle being thrown at the wall beside my head flashing through my mind as he placed a cup out in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked looking up at him. He smiled over at me. "I'm getting you a drink" He stated as if it was the polite thing to do. "Oh I don't know" I said shaking my head. He raised his eyebrows. "You can't come to my party and not drink" He stated looking down at me.

I attempted to move past the cockiness in his voice. I only liked when Chris did that. Chris. I felt my heart clench. No. Numb. Forget. You're fine. You're okay.

He took the vodka and unscrewed it before pouring quite a bit into my cup. I just watched as he poured it. He picked up a sprite bottle before pouring that into my cup as well, just not as much as the vodka.

He did the same in his cup. He picked up both cups before handing me mine. I looked down at the cup and then up at him. He raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I looked down at the cup.

My parents always got angry when they drank, but I looked around and no one looked angry. They all looked happy. They all looked like they were actually happy. Maybe I was missing something. Maybe alcohol wasn't bad, maybe I just programed myself to think that way. Just because of my parents. Maybe It would be different for me. It wouldn't hurt to try it. If I hated it I would stop.

"Fuck it" I said looking up at him. He smiled and nodded. "Fuck it" He agreed as we both lifted the cups to our mouths. At first it tasted like sprite, but as I swallowed and took a breath a horrible taste of hand sanitizer filled my mouth.

I squeezed my eyes shut and coughed, tasting the alcohol. He laughed down at me. "You okay?" He asked placing his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, shaking my head. "That tastes horrible" I shook my head. He shrugged. "It's get better the more you drink it" He said nodding at me. I looked up at him and then back down at the drink.

I drank a bit more slowly trying to get it down. I shivered and looked at him. He laughed lightly. "See you're a natural" He smiled. I smiled and shook my head. "Thanks" I said shaking my head.

"So you've got a boyfriend?" He asked leaning into me. I sighed and looked down. "Not exactly" I said looking up at him. He just looked down at me. His eyes were brown. I didn't like brown eyes. I liked Chris's blue eyes. They were pretty. His were just dark.

"Not exactly?" He question. I rolled my eyes lifting my drink up to my lips again. "No, I don't have a boyfriend" I stated looking up at him. He nodded tilting his cup up and finishing his drink. I just watched him. How did he drink it that fast?

"You gotta catch up love" He smiled pointing down at my drink. I stared at him. Love? Everything about this felt wrong, because it wasn't with Chris. But I knew I would never have this with Chris. Not again. I swallowed.

This wasn't what I was here to do. Mourn over my relationship with Chris. I was here to forget. To be numb. To be normal. For one night.

I nodded before lifting the cup up my lips and drinking the rest of it, trying not to focus on the taste. He cheered next to me as I shook my head. "I'll get you another one" He smiled taking my cup. I just looked up at him. This was going to be a long night.

After he refilled my cup four times, I was drunk. I didn't know I was drunk for a little bit but when I turned and it felt like I was on a carousel, i knew I was. This is what It feels like huh? I giggled to myself leaning over laughing slightly.

The taste did get better the more I drank. And the punch line of Paxton's jokes became funnier. But now I couldn't really stand up straight. It was like I lost the ability to move around with ease. And I lost the abiltiy to take anything seriously. My body felt fuzzy and I hadn't even thought about Chris. It was working.

I reached for the bottle slightly stumbling. "Woah there" Paxton said grabbing my waist. I smiled and shook my head as I pulled the bottle towards me. "I want more" I said closing my eyes. He took the bottle out of my hands.

"You want more? Are you sure?" He asked. I opened my eyes and It was almost like I was looking at Chris. They looked very similar. Except for the eyes. The eyes reminded me that he wasn't him. No one was.

I nodded. "I do" I smiled. He shook his head as he poured more into my cup. I smiled and pulled the cup towards me, lifting it up my mouth. I downed the whole thing putting the cup back down. He raised his eyebrows at me. I smiled loosing my footing slightly stumbling against him. He held me up.

"Have you ever drank before?" He asked looking down at me. I sighed pushing off of him. "No" I smiled. He sighed shaking his head. "But this is fun" I smiled pressing my hands against my face. He shook his head before grabbing my hand and dragging me through the party.

"Where are we going?" I smiled pulling him towards me. He looked back at me. "We're sitting down, you can't stand" He stated as we walked into the living room and sitting down on the couch. I felt the music move through my body, like it was speaking directly to me. I smiled at the feeling.

"I'm doing a great job standing, look" I motioned to myself I stood in front of him spinning around and slightly stumbling into someone. They turned glaring at me. "Sorry" I laughed.

"She's fine Tyler, she's just showing me how good she is at standing" Paxton said looking over at the boy. He turned to me. "Yeah?" He asked looking at me. "I'm doing a great job" I nodded at him. He shook his head.

"How much have you had to drink?" He asked looking down at me. I shurgged looking over at Paxton. "She's had like five drinks" He stated. Tyler looked down at me scanning my figure. "With your body weight? You're fucked" He laughed at me. I glared at him.

"I'm fine" I stated walking over to sit next to Paxton. "Yeah, she's fine" He stated for me. I looked over at him. He put his arm on the back of the couch behind my head. I glanced at him before leaning forward.

I really didn't want him getting the wrong idea. "So what made you show up to my party Y/n?" He asked leaning into me. I shrugged. "Maybe I just wanted to party" I smiled at him. He looked down at my lips. "Yeah?" He whispered. I nodded turning away from him.

"I don't think i've ever seen a girl as pretty as you" He whispered making me look up at him. I just blinked at him. "Yeah? Look around the room" I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling the room start to spin as that last drink began to hit me. Oh no.

I swallowed. The room's not spinning y/n focus. He spoke but I didn't hear him. I looked up at him, my vision going in and out. All I saw was him staring at me.

"I think I drank too much" I breathed, the room beginning to feel stuffy. He smiled and nodded. "I think you drank too much because someone didn't treat you right" I heard him say. I furrowed my eyebrows leaning back against the couch, feeling it took too much energy to sit up anymore.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked looking at him. He shrugged. "You're a pretty girl, and you came here alone" He stated. I looked away from him, realizing just how close he was to me.

I put my hand against his chest pushing him back, moving my face away. He grabbed my hand and leaned into me. "What?" He smiled. I turned my head away as I felt him grip my leg. My heart beat out of my chest.

"I'm not kissing you" I stated quickly, smelling the alcohol on his breath. "Why not? You're pretty" He whispered leaning in towards my neck. I didn't have the mental capacity to push him away. I shook my head, feeling sweat beading at my forehead. Oh god what did i do?

I felt his lips graze my neck before I felt him being pulled off of me completely. I looked up the room spinning but I could make out someone holding the guy by the shirt, he was now standing.

"Get off her" He said clenching his jaw staring at the dude. He pushed the dude back making him stumbling back into some people. I let out a breath when I realized it was Chris. Paxton glared back at him.

"Dude this one is mine, get your own" Paxton yelled back at him. Chris charged up to him, but pushing him back. "That is my own. She's mine" He said hovering over the dude. I've never seen Chris so angry. I felt myself start to breath heavily.

"Chris" I breathed. His head snapped to me before leaning down next to me. "Are you okay?" He asked looking down at me. I smiled from his presence and nodded, laying against him. He froze.

"Are you drunk?" He asked making me giggle against him. He grabbed my arm pulling me to my feet. "Ow" I said holding my arm back. He turned to me. "Why the hell are you drinking?" He asked looking at me. I frowned looking at my shoes.

"Why are you yyyyelling at me?" I said looking up at him. He took in a breath closing his eyes. "Chris? What are you doing? Who is this?" I heard a voice come up to us. I turned seeing the perfect blonde barbie right next to me. I smiled slightly. Mia.

"Y/n don't" I heard Chris's voice.

"You're the girl who he fucks" I said pointing at her. Her eyes went wide. "What? Who the hell are you?" She said crossing her arms over her chest. I looked over at Chris smiling. "Apparently his" I said leaning into his chest. Her face hardened. Chris put his hands on my shoulder pushing me back up.

"What?" Her face turned to Chris. Chris sighed. "Is this why you won't even kiss me?" She tilted her head. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle a laugh. If I was sober, I would not find this siutation funny. But right now it was the funniest thing i've ever seen.

"No--Yes--Kinda. I can't have this conversation right now. I have to get her home" Chris said shaking his head and wrapping his arm under me holding me up. I smiled at her as she glared at me. "She can't handle herself? Chris you came here with me" She said angrily.

"And now he's leaving with me" I smiled. "Stop talking" Chris said looking down at me. I just smiled and looked down at the ground. "Mia, I'm sorry" He shook his head as we turned and moved us through the crowd.

We walked outside the fresh air hitting me. I stumbled over gripping the railing, swallowing back a gag. I didn't know alcohol was suppose to make you lose every sense you had. I couldn't even stand.

"Y/n" Chris sighed as he grabbed my waist, pulling me up. I groaned leaning into his chest. We walked down the steps and I swallowed feeling his hands around me a little too much. I felt my lip quiver.

"Chris get off" I pushed him, stumbling but then straighting out and looking at him. He sighed shaking his head. "What?" I spat shaking my head. "What?" He asked raising his eyebrows. "What? Really? You want to know what?" He asked stepping towards me. I turned my head crossing my arms over my chest.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" He asked stepping up to me. I clenched my jaw and looked away from him. "Getting drunk with a random dude?" He asked shaking his head. I swallowed feeling tears prick at my eyes. "How could you be so irresponsible?" He asked towering over me.

"You can't be that stupid, really. Something bad could have happened. You don't know him, you don't know what he was thinking--" He said shaking his head. "And you do?" I asked shaking my head. "I have a few ideas from the way he was grabbing you" He clenched his jaw. I shook my head.

"Sorry, did you want me to let him continue?" He asked throwing his hands up. "No!" I screamed at him. "Chris I don't want any man to touch me ever again but you!" I screamed at him. "Don't you see how much you destroyed me? And you don't even care!" i yelled at him shaking my head. His angry face softened as I yelled at him.

"You don't even care" I whispered shaking my head feeling tears come to my eyes. He sighed walking up to me and placing his hand on my shoulder. "Y/n, just sit down" He said softly. I pushed his hand off me.

"No" I cried pushing his hand off me. "I'll just go home so you can get back to your girlfriend" I said looking up at him, feeling tears come down my face. "She's not my girlfriend and she's never going to be my girlfriend" He stated calmly. "Yeah and why's that?" I mumbled looking at him. He bit his lip and looked at me.

I shook my head turning my head. "You're right. I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry I ruined your party" I mumbled walking past him. He grabbed my arm. "No" He said pulling me back to him. I looked up at him.

"Don't walk away" He stated. I ripped my arm. "What? You can but I can't?" I asked looking at him. He stepped towards me. "Not while you're this drunk. No you can't" He shook his head at me. I swallowed. "I'm not that drunk" I lied. He raised his eyebrows looking down at me.

"Yeah walk in a straight line" He said pointing to the side. I glared up at him before moving to where he pointed as I put one foot in front of the other. I stared down at my feet as I attempted to walk. I held my hands out for balance, but still stumbled.

"Okay, stop" He said walking up to me, grabbing my arm. I pushed him off me. "No I can do it" I swallowed as I continued to walk. He sighed stepping back, but I still stumbled over.

"Y/n stop" He said again. Tears filled my eyes. "No" I cried. He walked up to me grabbing my waist. "Stop" He whispered looking down at me shaking his head. I looked down as tears ran down my face.

"I lost everyone" I cried shaking my head. He just looked down at me. "I don't have anyone, no one loves me" I cried placing my head against his chest. He bit his lip as he looked down at me.

"I'm so scared Chris" I cried. He held me against him.

"I love you"

My cries stopped as the silence of the air surrounded us. I pulled back looking up at him. He looked down at me, concern all over his face. "I love you, y/n" He said again. I stepped back shaking my head.

"N-No you don't" I said shaking my head. He held his hands up. "Why do you think i'm acting like this?" He asked looking at me. "What like going out with other girls? Is that what you're referring to? You don't love me" I shook my head at him. He stepped towards me.

"I love you so much. It's killing me" He said shaking his head. I just watched him. "I've loved you for so long that i'm afraid if i tell you, i'll scare you. I love you so much, it's killing me" He said shaking his head. I just blinked at him.

I held my arm out, putting my hand to my chest. "Y/n? What's wrong?" He asked grabbing my arm. I pushed him away. "Are you okay?" He asked quickly. I shook my head as I leaned over.

He moved next to quickly grabbing my hair as I puked everything I drank onto the ground next to us. He sighed, rubbing my back as I puked. I groaned as I wiped my mouth.

"Are you okay?" He asked leaning down to me. I sighed and sat down on the ground laying down looking up. He sighed smiling slightly down at me before laying down next to me.

"That was really gross" I mumbled, making him chuckle. "It happens to the best of us" He said turning his head and looking over at me. I looked over at him. He smiled sadly at me.

"Do you really?" I whispered. He nodded. "So badly" He whispered back making me close my eyes. I sighed looking back to the sky. "I get why my parents drink" I stated. He just looked at me.

"I forgot about you for a while" I said turning back to him. Hurt plastered all over his face. "It worked until it didn't" I mumbled. He licked his lips.

"We're you going to kiss that guy if I didn't pull him off of you?" He asked slightly. I sat up, he sat up with me. "No" I said looking down at my lap. "Why not?" He asked looking at me. "He didn't have blue eyes" I said smiling slightly looking up at him. He smiled looking down at me.

"Were you going to kiss that girl?" I asked looking at him. He shook his head. "Why not?" I asked. "She's beautiful" I whispered looking down. "She's not even in the same world as you" He whispered making bit my lip.

I stood up.

"I can't Chris" I shook my head. He stood up quickly. "Why not?" He asked looking down at me. I shook my head. "You've done nothing but hurt me, why should I trust anything you say? All you do is hurt me" I sighed shaking my head. He sighed looking down.

"I'll explain everything when you're sober y/n I promise" He said shaking his head. I swallowed looking away. "Chris I can't" I whispered again. "Y/n please. I'm begging you. I'm so sorry" He said grabbing my hands. I shook my head.

"I'm not doing this again" I swallowed looking up at him. He shook his head. "No" He whispered. I pulled my hands back. "I'm sorry" I whispered stepping back and turning.

"Y/n, wait please don't do this" He said as I walked away. I just looked down. "Y/n, wait I have to tell you something" He said but I didn't stop I just kept walking.

"It's about Nick" He breathed making me stop in my tracks. I turned and looked at him, my heart starting to beat. I just stared at me.

He closed his eyes and turned his head.

"It's Holton" He said. I stepped towards him. "What about Holton?" I asked looking at him. He swallowed. He pointed towards the house.

"He was in there" He stated. I looked towards the house, shaking my head not understanding. "He was kissing someone" He said softly. I felt my heart drop. No. My heart broke for Nick.

"He was kissing a girl"

With that I was completely sober.

woahhh that was a long oneeeee hope u loved it sorry if it was all over the place

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