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lanaevyssmoved · 7 months

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i hope this doesn't come across as an attack, i'm genuinely just curious. on the one hand you say that a fictional character and headcanons for that character or actions/attractions towards that character is never cause for being mean to anyone, but also that people who headcanon astarion to be mentally young and still fuck him are weirdos. i just don't see how it's less 'problematic' to say that you find astarion sexier as an unhealed abuse victim/abuser so you're going to go the ascendant route than it is to say you find astarion sexier when he's mentally underage. both of those things are bad in that they'd be shitty to do to real people, but in the context of fiction i don't understand how one is fine and the other is weird or evil.

for what it's worth i agree with your astarion age opinions! i absolutely think it is weird to be attracted to someone you view as a child! it just feels incongruous with your other takes on fiction.

i think people romancing and sleeping with a character they are viewing as a child/teenager is strange, that's all. i didn't even say 'don't do this!' i just said it's "weird and sus", because i want to help people realise how they are sounding to others, who may instinctively judge them and possibly attack them. at the end of the day, i can't stop people for going against d&d lore for their own preferred headcanon, but what if they're misunderstanding? what if they don't know lore? what if they're just explaining themselves poorly? what if they're just not aware they're making themselves sound this way?

i don't put this on the same level as telling someone they are a terrible person because they say, ascend astarion or keep astarion as a spawn, since we're talking about him, and saying "bit weird you wanna sleep with someone you think is akin to a child". one of these could have dangerous connotations to real life, it could genuinely paint someone has a dangerous person.

i am victim of a romantic relationship where someone picked me because of my vulnerability. to share a bit about myself, i have abusive parents who purposely sheltered me from the world to control me. they did not even allow me to get a job, or to go out and meet people. i was told, from a very young age, that the world will hurt me and they won't understand me (because of disorders i have) and they will keep me safe. they never want me to leave. and thus i have mentally aged 'slower' than i should have. i shan't say more than that, but this person i met, and became aware of this, immediately sought a romantic relationship with me, which led to them using my lack of experience in life and lack of know to also control me, and continue to infantilise me and keep me as 'young' as they could. control my entire life, my money, what i do, where i go, what i dress, everything about me. i know how terrifying it is to be chosen by someone because of 'mental immature', being 'under developed'.

when i think of this, and think of people who choose astarion while viewing him the same way- do you know what i think? "do you realise how much of an abuser you sound like?" you are those people who choose someone due to how easy it would be to abuse them. so yes, i worry these people just aren't aware of how dangerous they sound. i word it like 'weird' and 'sus' because i would never target them with such harsh and powerful language, but i think that alone is enough to make someone think about it, maybe enough to realise they need to change how they talk about astarion, or adjust their pov.

i've had friends come to me in tears because someone attacked them viciously for a choice they made in the game, a choice available to everyone, a choice there because you are allowed to pick it. that they are legit a bad person to their core because they picked something in a damn game. this is no where near the same to me as wanting a sexual relationship with someone you think is mentally underdeveloped. they cannot be compared.

i hope this all makes sense and i didn't miss one of your points, admittedly i don't want to look at this any longer.

#ask #Anonymous #tw abuse #i feel quite embarrassed sharing this about myself #but i feel its important #because maybe youll see where i am coming from easier #and why this is so important to me #what if someone who thinks this way about astarion is someone who would do this to a real life person #it is a scary thought #but i would never assume that of them - instead of i want to help stop this from potentially happening by sharing my pov

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james-vi-stan-blog · 2 months

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why do I feel like the previous anon was a dig at me for asking questions about the kind of people James and George were😃I could be wrong though.

my only thing about why I’m hoping all of them in the show will show their flaws or how much of a bad person they can be is because I know it’ll be so much easier for people to understand or even sympathize with George simply because Nicholas is playing him. I’ve probably mentioned this before but I fully believe it has something to do with looks.

Nicholas is incredibly attractive so a lot of people feel more inclined or gravitate towards his character to feel sympathy, maybe defend, or ‘babygirl’ George even through problematic issues he’s had (that might be in the show but idk what they’ll include) but compared to Tony portraying James? I don’t think he’s going to get that same energy or thought process because his character might be criticized more simply because some people don’t find Tony/James attractive. I’ve seen this happen many times and it’s just odd people haven’t picked up on that.

I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to make up their own opinions about how they perceive the the characters or force my opinions onto others. I honestly can say that I feel sympathy for George and James (even Mary) but I think a lot of people aren’t going to realize how much looks would come into play when their formulating their opinions about the characters.

I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense, I have a hard time writing my thoughts! also I’m not trying to start anything so I hope this doesn’t come across as rude or anything😭

-✨

I don't think asking "good or bad" type questions is necessarily pointless… after all, people do have vices and virtues, and they can make good, bad, or downright evil decisions. I think we can even evaluate relative badness to some extent (like the 5th Earl of Bothwell, there's a phenomenally shitty person). Rather, it's a binary vision of good and bad guys that's toxic for the study of history. I think it's also limiting for media. If you (general you, not you, ✨) are going into Mary & George just looking to be entertained, there's no need to have several essays cited that George Villiers Is A Good Person™ Actually before you've even sat down. Not every story is meant to be didactical. What is about to unfold in front of you could be a villain's tale, some complex shade of tragedy, etc.

But to the main thrust of your ask, honestly… I too worry about this. The halo effect and lookism are well-documented phenomena (known and understood even in the period itself… I mean… why was short, stuttering, shy Baby Charles so invested in his iconography, but to depict himself as strong, masculine, handsome, and therefore virtuous and deserving to rule!!!) and also applies to media depictions of historical figures. It's totally a real thing that when a historical figure gets played by a popular actor, people will tend to be softer on that character, not even purely due to "beauty = goodness", but also because the pleasure of the visual spectacle inclines us to excuse what we're seeing. (Actually, even outside the appearance of the actors, people tend enormously to excuse the actions of a protagonist. It's just sort of an effect of the medium.)

That said, I believe the vast majority of people who say "I support George's rights and George's wrongs!" are just being silly and having fun and are perfectly capable of rationally judging what they're watching. You guys are great, please have a great time, tell your friends about the show so that more people learn about James VI and the Villiers family!!

But yeah, rarely there's… I don't go on Shitter but saw a screenshot of someone saying they hoped Somerset/Buckingham would be the main ship because Laurie Davidson is hotter and they don't want to watch an "ugly" (??) "old man fuck" and that just disheartened and disgusted me. You know, gayness doesn't exist to be hot and entertaining. Queer stories serve more purposes than fetish fuel for oglers. And this story is about real people who actually existed…

Also, I've got thoughts about people who think it's wrong and disgusting for James to have fallen in love with handsome George Villiers but also vociferously and openly thirst over Nicholas Galitzine and want to see him naked in queer roles. 😑

Anyway I'm happy to see these figures in almost any interpretation but I really hope George Villiers will be allowed to be magnificently terrible because… c'mon… it's George Villiers. The icon. The legend. The Duke of Buckingham himself. I feel like watering down his character would be cheating him of the glory he's due.

#mary & george #james's weird stan rambles again

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beevean · 7 months

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Hey it’s so called this morning’s anon back with more things to say I suppose…

I supposed I wanted to elaborate on some things, I know you said you didn’t wanna start discourse but I really wanted to elaborate on what I meant by that proshipping comment. The term proship, from what I heard, has gone from let people ship what they want and if you don’t like don’t look to… This person is a disgustingly vile subhuman and their death should be celebrated.

Funnily enough I openly ship problematic stuff, but I constantly over complicate things to prove that I’m still better than ‘those guys’, to say that I have morality and ‘they’ don’t… But it’s so fucking exhausted. My life wasn’t good and moral and pure so why does my art have to be?

I’m sick of fearing I’ll have someone genuinely threaten my life because I cope differently than them. Ironically I used to get mad when people say it was their coping mechanism, calling it a shitty excuse to be a whatever [You can insert all kinds of fun and degrading terms there] and yet… I was doing the same thing.

So yeah… I don’t like everything but I’m realizing that everything has its place and if that makes me a proshipper then fuck it I guess I’m a proshipper

[After reading all those kind messages I wanted some way to reveal myself because surprise you actually know who I am! But I wasn’t sure how to do that without outing myself so openly… I read your Hevor fic and told you about it on Discord, it’s the only thing we ever discussed. So yeah if you manage to figure me out based on that alone then congratulations! Purity culture is ruining my life so bad I can’t even say my own name! ;3]

fdjskfksdngksjdhk talk about efficient secret codes lmao. Yes I understand now 😄

That's pretty much what happened. "Proship" started as a countermovement to the "anti" culture budding around 2016 who were all like "Sheith is actually incest because they're like brothers and that's gross guys!!!!", and at first it meant simply "ship and let ship", but then it got twisted into meaning "someone who enjoys problematic ships/ships with incest, pedophilia and/or abuse", which inevitably leads to "this person has Something Wrong with them and they're a Bad Person who Hurts people like me with their Degenerate Art! Pedo alert pedo alert! PUNISHMENT FOR A THOUSAND YEARS".

The problem is that "enjoys" means a lot of things :^) there is a difference between "aww they're so cute <3", "welp this is a kink now", and "wow this would be incredibly fucked up but I am intrigued to explore this story". But nuance is not allowed, apparently.

(fun fact: I don't really go through proship blogs because I swear they all ship sibling incest. I hate sibling ships lmao, especially when they're wholesome. But of course they're all in the "will accept anything" community, after being pretty much shunned and painted as horrible abusers who deserve to be hurt and worse - and just because I don't want to see those ships, that doesn't mean I think they're bad people who condone real-life abuse. So yeah, proship is not about having all the grossest ships in the world, you can be exclusively into the most vanilla M/F ships ever and still think "yo do what you want I'll respect you from a distance")

I also hear similar stories like yours, of people who twist themselves into pretending to be antis and be morally "purer" than others when in private they were doing the same things they were insulting others for, just with tons of shame and denial. Not judging you and I'm happy when people realize that this behavior is harmful, definitely more than being into the Problematic lol... I'm just disappointed and frustrated that the internet culture has come to this. I reiterate my points about surrounding yourself with friends who don't make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells.

Also real talk: you don't really have to psychoanalyze yourself. Maybe your tastes are tied to an easily identifiable reason, or maybe they aren't or the reason goes too deep to explore without outside help. In any case, it doesn't matter. You don't have to justify yourself in any way, let alone showing to everyone the "I'm Coping With Trauma" badge in the hopes they will forgive you - because it doesn't work. It's never about the mental health of victims, it's about "i feel icky and i don't want to :("

Disgust is not harm. You (general) have every right to be disgusted by something - I myself am not above it :P But it's not a personal attack against you, and it's your responsibility to walk away and coping with your feelings in private.

#important #proship #again the discourse can get way too complicated and nuanced #and these may feel like milquetoast stances lol #but... guess they're not and some people really have to be told 'please don't suicide bait someone because they ship a 17 yo and a 19 yo'#something something funny how antis will scream about the normalization of abuse and incest #when they have normalized threatening real people with real harm in a quirky way

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missnight0wl · 2 years

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Your post reminded me of something: In y6ch45, Merula said she was ready for R to become her "real family". So maybe at least writers thought out about this arc, right? I mean, family was always the thing going on with her. At least this kinda makes sense, unlike with Peregrine

Oh, I remember about this line. And generally speaking, Merula working with R is an excellent proof that Jam City does think about what they’re writing. This arc adds up beautifully all the way back to the very beginning. I love the fact that Merula is the mole. The only problem is that they decided to involve an Unbreakable Vow in this. And let me explain why it’s VERY problematic.

Alright, here’s what I was always thinking about Merula’s involvement with R, more or less: they approached her in Y1-Y2 and promised everything she ever wanted, she was a stupid kid, so she believed that, and then, it was too late to quit because that’s how things are with R. It was kind of the same with Jacob, too, after all: they blackmailed him. Let’s say that Merula started to have some doubts in Y5. After the Portrait Vault, she concluded that Rakepick tortured her as a punishment for even thinking of being disobedient. And so, she was scared that she might be punished again. Then, she saw Rowan’s death, and she got really scared that R might kill her as well. Because those people clearly have no limits, right?

Seriously, if Merula was working for R simply because she was scared of them, I absolutely wouldn’t hold it against her. And I mean it. I would totally get it. And you could argue that an Unbreakable Vow didn’t make things that much different – but it made it drastically different. Because JC basically said:

“Oh, look at poor little Merula! She was literally risking HER LIFE every time she was trying to warn MC about R! Isn’t she wonderful? So brave! So caring! What an amazing redemption arc!”

That's what's problematic with this solution. JC forces us to feel bad for Merula because her life was at stake. They did exactly the same with the Portrait Vault. Because let me ask you something: would Rakepick torturing ANY teenager be a terrible scene to witness? Yes, it would be. But JC knows they fucked up with Merula, so they had to dedicate the whole chapter to her very sad, very tragic backstory, just to make it absolutely certain that you feel bad for her later in the Vault. Because how could you not, right? That poor baby was neglected by her terrible parents and whatnot. Her mother dared to do other things than singing with her before bed every single night! How could you not feel sorry for her?!

Sadly, using an Unbreakable Vow also shows that JC totally doesn’t understand why people don’t like Merula. Because an Unbreakable Vow doesn’t explain why Merula:

turned one of Ben’s first experiences with the wizarding world into a nightmare and convinced him he didn’t belong there,

bullied Rowan,

bullied countless other students and basically terrorised the whole school,

called the Weasley brothers “filthy”,

joked about Jacob being dead on multiple occasions,

was a shitty friend to Ismelda,

blamed MC for Rowan’s death,

never apologised for anything listed above.

Or you’re gonna tell me Verucca told her to do all of that, so Merula had to be a terrible person, just to be “loyal to her true family”?

It’s just such a fucking lazy writing. It always has to be super dramatic and super tragic with Merula because it’s easier than actually giving her a redemption arc. The Unbreakable Vow is totally unnecessary to justify Merula working for R. And it’s so obviously a preparation for the reveal that MC and friends are actually Merula’s “true family”. How fucking adorable.

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm spoilers #hphm datamine #merula snyde #anti merula #verucca buckthorn #hphm r #ask #anonymous

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hoardofhyperfixations · 2 years

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//cw dsmp

hey btw Mexican Dream was played by Quackity (someone who IS mexican), not Dream. The basic lack of fact checking on something like that makes it clear you did little to no research on your own and for me, makes the rest of the doc unreliable. (/neu I’m not trying to yell at u or say ur wrong or that’s a bad stance to have. trying to say this like factually without implying that you’re a bad person for not knowing or you purposely lied, maybe you saw it elsewhere + assumed they were right!)

Also is it only Dream and Techno that are bad people? And everyone else in/associated with the DSMP is just as bad because they associate(d) with them? What about like Lil Nas X who played on the DSMP- should I DNI if I like his music?

all /gen btw! Like I will DNI because I like Lil Nas, if that makes you uncomfortable. I’m just interested in your reasoning for the rest of the like 30+ player server based on a few screenshots accusing 2 of them. I hope I’m not coming across aggressive- i struggle with tone and i *really* want this to not sound like invasive or “explain yourself to me right now or your wrong” or anything!!

Hi! I know Mexican Dream was played by Quackity and I did do my own fact checking. When I mentioned it and asked if it should be included on the doc because of that, several Mexican people said they were uncomfortable with it and wanted it on the doc anyway because it still rubbed them the wrong way and felt distasteful. I don't think it's "problematic" on Quackity's end or anything, but I've been asked to include it. I'll add that disclaimer to the document, though.

The thing about the DSMP and the people involved is that it's so popular and a lot of people are uninformed on everything, so I don't think everyone who associates with them is bad. I mostly mean people who are regularly part of it and especially those who will continue to defend the shitty actions of other people in it. I don't think everyone involved are bad people, I just think a lot of them are either far too complicit or far too willing to defend and excuse their friends' bad actions.

If you read the whole thing, you'll notice that while it is mostly Dream and Techno, but not completely. Wilbur and Quackity's actions are also mentioned, so no, it's not just everyone associated. They've done their own things or they're close friends with those who have and are too complicit in stuff.

I did just wake up recently so this might be a little confusing. I hope this makes sense.

#ask #anti dsmp #dsmp mention

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musical-chick-13 · 2 years

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Control Z: the Final Episode™

-Well folks, it’s been a hell of a journey. Thank you to the two people who enjoy hearing me ramble about this show.

-How did it take everyone so long to realize that the art had a QR code?

-Not the point, but Samantha Acuña (Alex) is beautiful. I wish more gay women watched this show. Maybe we’d have an army of Alex apologists instead of Raúl apologists, I’m sorry, I’ll stop mentioning Raúl. Or maybe gay women do watch this show and I’m just weird or something. Wouldn’t be the first time.

-The third or so post down on the forum (because yes, I paused to read the messages) says “Jails are full of people who don’t have money” which...yes, but we do not have time to unpack that here. Because I don’t think this show is the one to tackle classism and the prison-industrial complex through the lens of a trashy teen drama.

-Honestly? So many of these actors are good. Alex, Gerry, Sofía, Javier, Natalia, Isa (moment of silence for the best character to ever grace the show). I hope they get really good work after this; they deserve it.

-”You’re pathetic as a liar” less than a year after he (nearly successfully) lied to her about fucking up the lives of her and her friends and tried to pin the blame on Javier. How is this the Official Ship™ again??

-...Would you look at that. Raúl....APOLOGIZED????!!!!!!!! AND ADMITTED THAT EVERYTHING IS IN SOME WAY HIS FAULT!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!??!!!!!!

-Like, this is the barest of bare minimum but. WOW FINALLY IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

-IF WE HAD GOTTEN THIS IN LIKE. IDK. SEASON 1, MAYBE THE SHOW WOULD BE DIFFERENT. BUT I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW.

-NO DON’T TELL ME SOFÍA REJECTS HIS DESIRE TO APOLOGIZE AND THEN JOKES THAT IT’S HER FAULT BECAUSE HE DID IT TO GET CLOSE TO HER. NO. NONONONONONONONONONO. I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I. HATE. IT. HERE.

-*sigh* Okay, I know everyone’s tired of me hating on this ship, but NO TRAUMATIZED MENTALLY ILL PERSON WOULD ACT LIKE THIS. “Easy things are not worth it” sorry, literally every mentally ill person I’ve ever meant would love for ONE THING in their life to be easy. If there’s an aversion to things that come easily, it’s in the sense of “this seems too good to be true” or “I don’t deserve it.” NO. MENTALLY ILL. PERSON. Would earnestly, uncomplicatedly see prolonged struggle (interpersonal-relationship or otherwise) as an intrinsically good thing. PLEASE TALK TO A MENTALLY ILL PERSON IF YOU’RE GOING TO WRITE ONE IN YOUR STORY.

-Like, honestly, I don’t think I would hate this ship so much if Sofía was not written to be mentally ill. If she were a neurotypical character, it would just be another run-of-the-mill poorly-written m/f romance with a shitty guy, but there’s that dimension there that makes this relationship just...particularly gross. And for those people who have said that Sofía’s mental illness makes her inherently “just as crazy as Raúl is” and that “she’s never going to want to be/is not capable of being in a ‘normal’ or healthy relationship” .....know that I see your ableism and also I hate you. You owe me and every neurodivergent person $100. Just admit you like a “problematic” ship instead of trying to moralize it. It’s fine. You won’t explode.

-And it’s so weird because, despite being a queer girl who wants more non-violent queer characters and has MANY issues with the “closeted bully” archetype, I’ve come to the conclusion that character-arc-wise I do like Gerry. He did the soul-searching, he felt the guilt, he made consistent efforts to curtail his bad behavior, and he took explicit responsibility for what he did. I can tell that he is doing his best to honor Luis’s memory. And even when he was faced with a situation where being outed would put him in danger, he made a different decision. He didn’t go after Bernardo; he went about his life and dedicated himself to moving on. As much as I HATE what Gerry did (and believe me, I hate it a lot), I do genuinely believe he wants to be better, and that he will continue putting in the effort to do so. He’s atoning for his wrongs, rather than just...whatever the fuck the writers are doing with Raúl.

-It’s...the writers and characters seem to understand the seriousness of what Gerry and Natalia and Javier and Alex have done. They punish the characters for it. Their actions have long-term consequences. WHY IS RAÚL THE EXCEPTION TO THIS. I’M SORRY I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

-It’s so important to me that Javier is the one who believes Gerry that something is up.

-It’s also important to me that Natalia, while a much better person, is still kind of a bitch (affectionate) sometimes.

-Tbh, I appreciate the fact that people don’t trust Sofía due to her continued association with Raúl. I hate that there’s ableism wrapped up in there, which. Again. They should have just...made Sofía a neurotypical person who’s a loner.......

-Okay, Quintanilla turning to Rosita to stall for Sofía’s speech is hilarious.

-”Javier, don’t you care about your cars?” “...They’re my dad’s.” This show is a comedy.

-Ohhh, so the plan is that Susana’s husband will see the video about what happened and attack the kids in retribution. That’s...that’s a lot.

-I’m not sure if the car ride and subsequent rescue attempt were supposed to be funny, but they sure were, lmao.

-(Also: this is the first episode where I felt like all the characters actually acted like teenagers? Their plans were mostly improvised, there was an authentic immaturity to the dialogue, the excuses were half baked, most of them went with the most easily-available solution rather than perhaps the most logical one, I wish we’d had more of this over the course of the show because I really like this.)

-NATALIA WHACKING A GUY OVER THE HEAD TO DEFEND HER BOYFRIEND FROM DEADLY PHYSICAL VIOLENCE THAT’S MY DAUGHTER GOOD FOR HER

-Also, that happening while Javier’s dad was giving a speech about “not letting anything get in the way of you and your dreams.” Like...is the implication that Javier’s and Natalia’s “dream” is being with each other? Because that’s kind of stupid but also. Awwww.

-Just following a Head Person, huh? IS IT MARÍA. IS IT HER. THAT’S BEEN MY CRACK THEORY THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE NO BODY MEANS SHE’S NOT DEAD RIGHT. SHE GOT DRAGGED DOWN BY GUILT AND GRIEF AND DID ALL THIS RIGHT. SHE’S NOT DEAD RIGHT. RIGHT.

-...Oh, it was just Bruno lying about not having control over the group the whole time. That’s disappointing.

-Sofía talking about love while a scene of Javier and Natalia is happening, I Am Not Immune To Teen Drama Romance.

-OOH, THAT SHOT OF SUSANA’S BLOOD TURNING INTO THE BEACH WHERE MARÍA WAS, THAT WAS GOOD CAMERA WORK

-I...wait. Is...Is the show going to end with them all going to law enforcement and turning themselves in for Susana’s death???

-That’s...that’s a bold move. (Complimentary.) Like. I feel so many shows just...have this idea that “Oh, even though the protagonist(s) did this horrible thing, it’s not actually horrible because it was done by the protagonist(s).” These kids fucked up. I love (most of) them, but they fucked up. And they need to be held accountable for fucking up. I...genuinely cannot believe the narrative is acknowledging that.

-Sofía straight up told the truth DURING HER GRADUATION SPEECH, honestly, good for you show. I support that writing decision.

-And Natalia reaching for Alex’s hand, to signify that she’s part of the team again, FINALLY SOME SYMPATHY FOR MY GIRL.

-JAVIER’S DAD IN JAIL JAVIER’S DAD IN JAIL JAVIER’S DAD IN JAIL OH, LIFE IS GOOD

-So did they all have a few months of community service? Because they were all minors at the time and it was an accident and we don’t actually know who was responsible to what degree? I don’t know enough about law to say for sure, but that sounds fairly realistic? And I think the point is to show that however terrible you think facing up to your own misdeeds is, it will never be as bad as you think it will. Because even if you avoid punishment, the worst-case scenario is avoiding your mistakes and not allowing yourself to grow because they take over you. Which, again, is kind of an uncommon message for shows like this, so genuine kudos them for that.

-Aww, Sofía and Javier are still friends!! I’m glad to see it. Their relationship was an integral part of the show, and although I agree they shouldn’t be together romantically, it would have been a shame for that to drop off completely.

-(EDIT: I realized that Sofía never says she loves Raúl onscreen, or vice versa. Gerry never expresses a statement romantic love, Luis is mentioned as being in love with Gerry, but never actually says it, and Javier and Natalia, though a scene of them plays while Sofía is talking about love, they never actually say it. (I know Natalia says “Te quiero,” which the subtitles translate as “I love you” but it has a different meaning than “Te amo,” which is more in line with what the English equivalent of a declaration of romantic love is.) I can’t remember if Alex ever says she loves Gaby, and I don’t care enough to go back and look. Claudia says she and her theatre teacher are “in love,” but she never tells him that she loves him. The only direct, face-to-face declarations of love we get are platonic: Darío and Ernesto at the beginning of season 2, and Sofía and Javier-who have settled into a completely platonic relationship-at the end of the show. Friendships are the only love between the teens that get expressed specifically, and I think that’s neat.)

-JOURNALIST SOFÍA!!!!

-WAIT WAS IT ACTUALLY RAÚL THE WHOLE TIME LIKE I SAID EARLIER I PROMISE I WILL GIVE THIS SHOW ALL MY MONEY IF IT IS

-.......dang it. Why can’t I have nice things. *sigh* I hate it here. Would have been a much better ending if Javier’s conclusion was actually right and Sofía was like “wtf Raúl, die in a ditch.”

-I do appreciate platonic declarations of love, though. And obviously Natalia and Raúl (wow, his one redeeming quality) aren’t jealous of Sofía and Javier getting coffee to catch up.

-*a million disgruntled sighs* Sofía/Raúl endgame -_- Which, yeah, I expected, but I’m still mad. I just...I don’t get this relationship. If she doesn’t care what he did, then why did she expose him in season 1 in the first place? Either she thinks his behavior is despicable or she doesn’t.

-So I guess María really is dead. :/ That’s horrible, actually. If you wanted an ACTUAL corruption arc involving a depressed girl, the potential for one was RIGHT THERE. But alas.

-Maybe I should just write my own teen drama show, lmao.

-Tbh, though. I am glad that this season was mainly about all the shit the main cast has pulled coming back to haunt them, and for the main conflict arising from the fact that they never actually got held accountable due to Main Character Syndrome. Although I do think Raúl still suffers from Too Easily Forgiven Because Conventionally Attractive Pale-Skinned Bad Boy Archetype.

-I like the ending song. Going to add it to a playlist. I did that more than once this season, whoever was in charge of the season 3 soundtrack popped off.

-All in all: Season 1 was the show at it’s best, but season 3 was pretty great, too. Season 2 was in many ways trash aside from giving me Javier/Natalia. Team Javier/Natalia. Team Raúl/death. Gerry grew on me, so good for him. María being Dead For Real is bullshit, actually. I’m not going to say I recommend this show, exactly, but I sure as hell do enjoy it.

-I guess I have to find something else to liveblog about for my Brand™, now. I can’t believe it’s over! Don’t forget to drink your daily dose of Hating Raúl Juice! If I leave one legacy during my life, let it be that. :)

#I realized I never posted this lol #everything on my computer went to draft mode because I had to go get it repaired lmao #mc13 watches ctrlz #thinking of filling the new void of Problematic Teen Drama with the pll reboot/sequel/whatever it is #but I'm not sure I want to do that to myself

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dapperinsanity · 13 days

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Sometimes I oddly feel bad for enjoying a fanon version of a character, everytime I see someone complain about it. Like I understand that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but some of the complaints I’ve seen in general, act like it’s a sin. As if to make someone feel bad for portraying said character, out of character ya know?

Of course, this doesn’t apply to extreme situations like fans forcing a creator to make fanon, canon for example. I’m just talking about the harmless stuff where fans are just doing their own thing and still respect canon, the creator, and etc. If it’s not your cup of tea then that’s fine and even complaining is fine, just don’t act like someone writing a character OOC, is the worst possible thing and making them feel bad. It’s just harmless fun, why don’t we all calm down.

I don’t know if I’m being dramatic as well but it just rubs me the wrong way you know? Usually, I’m not the type of person to be bothered by something like this. I can handle people hating on stuff I highly enjoy and not bat an eye but there’s just something about this that gets to me a little. You could say my special interest is the suckiest thing ever and that it’s shitty and boring and I’ll be like “you’re valid” because it’s just an opinion. Not everyone is going to like the same things.

Maybe it has something to do with living through the years where cringe was big thing. Back when Mary sue’s/Gary Stu’s were a thing. OC or S/I x canon was considered cringe and something that should be stopped. That and being constantly shit on for the things I enjoyed and being the weird kid.

Again, if you don’t like it that’s fine but this person is just having fun you know? I’m surprised that after all these years that there’s such thing as anti-cringe because the internet in my younger years, was BRUTAL. Also,this doesn’t apply to genuine educational criticism by the way. Criticism can help an individual improve and it isn’t an attack. I’m sure you all get what I mean by complaints rather than criticism.

But yeah, I think I’m just tired of some people still complaining as we’re somewhat at a time where cringe is culture is dead or at least dying in some way. Oh and most people know how to ignore a thing they don’t like instead of giving fans of that thing hate. I mean complaints are even fine, it just gets bad when those complaints start shaming people and commanding others to stop having their harmless fun. Again, this doesn’t apply to the problematic fans. More so, just a general fan or even a casual fan having harmless fun.

Like who cares if they portray a character as OOC just because fans want to self indulge in said character? Ie. said character who is portrayed as more romantic and flirtatious than they actually are or making hot human versions of non human characters. Those are two common things that come to mind. Theres a lot more but you get it. Obviously I’m not talking about the problematic portrayals and stereotypes, btw. If that’s how someone interprets a character, then so be it. Not everyone interprets media in the same way.

Note: This is where I go off topic and end up ranting about a childhood experience I had that is (sorta?) related to this topic.

Again, could just be a me thing. I grew up on people shitting on my interests for many years in childhood to the point where I’d get rid of an interest because someone else found out it to be cringey. I did it to fit in and make friends and wanted to avoid getting bullied (both by peers and adults *cough* family members). Also, to avoid being “annoying” somehow. I was ashamed of my interests. Like yeah, I could give less of a shit now if someone finds me annoying, as we all know people that can be annoying at times.

I admit I know for a fact I had my moments growing up but that was mainly due to my undiagnosed adhd. Despite that, I always tried not be “annoying” and would genuinely “dial back” about my interests. Then I became genuinely confused when I thought I was not being annoying and on my best behavior. Turns out my peers just didn’t like me because I was the weird kid and could care less about me but you get my point right?

I’ll never forget a moment where another student in my elementary years told me (in response to me asking if he knew about a movie I love) that “yeah I know about that movie. You never shut up about it”. Mind you this was a peer I hardly talked too so the only way he knew I wouldn’t “shut up” about it was because he overheard my conversations with my friends who also enjoyed the same movie and didn’t mind talking about it with me.

And most of the time, I only brought up my interests as an absolute last resort topic of conversation and made sure to keep myself in check most of the time. Other than that, I preferred to talk about other things my friends wanted to talk about and to listen to them. I have more fun with that than me just infodumping about my interests. I’ve always been that way. If my interests come up in a conversation that usually means that me and my friends have nothing else to talk about. Silence usually meant a bad thing and I didn’t want people to feel like I was ignoring them. If I didn’t know what else to say, I chose a topic I found engaging rather than engaging in small talk.

Basically it can all be summed up as “why can’t people let me enjoy the things I like in peace?” Cause good grief, am I all too familiar with that chaos.

But yeah, rant over.

#op rambles #tagging as vent just in case #vent #rant #can you tell I’ve been having a lot of things on my mind lately?#I’ll make a tag for those who want me to stfu lol #op please stfu #there’s the tag there ya go yall

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sloptime · 5 months

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Ok but the thing is the thing is, you're kinda misrepresenting the game

(incoming long post)

Tl;Dr: To me, someone familiar with HtR, it seems you have a fundamental misunderstanding about what the game is all about. I urge you to give it another chance and reconsider your opinion.

HtR isn't about playing superheroes or holy warriors and it's not a game about playing the oppressor if anything it's the opposite. On a meta level I would say one of its major themes is empathy, considering how callously, cruelly even, humans are treated by the other splats. It's about putting yourself in the shoes of a normal person finding out they live in the world of darkness

You might say the imbued aren't normal people. They aren't crusaders on a mission from God to purge the world. They aren't angelic warriors or battle priests or tier one operators or government spooks. They're bus drivers, garbage men, plumbers, lawyers, doctors, cops, firefighters, paramedics, sons, daughters, wives, husbands, human beings who've had their eyes forced open by something utterly beyond their comprehension and forced to act.

Sure they have extraordinary abilities but they also have friends, a family, a dog, a shitty job that they need to make rent on their shitty apartment, they're still entirely normal people. The powers themselves aren't even that good and only serve to turn the tide in a pivotal moment (hence the name, edges. An edge up on the supernatural), a hunter couldn't get by just using the powers because they A. Are limited by conviction, basically the fuel for the powers, B. Terrifying and slowly drive you insane, C. Won't be able to stop a pissed off vampire from ripping you in half. The game gives many options for approaching the supernatural, whether you want to kill the monsters, save them from themselves, find common ground and maybe even peace, or just protect you and yours, there's an archetype for that.

Considering that you said you only skimmed it, I highly recommend giving it another shot. HtR has stellar writing, it's honestly a great read. The characters are varied, down to earth, and compelling and the tone is so oppressive and conspiratorial, the horror works in my honest opinion. Besides some mildly problematic writing (I chalk it up to it being a product of it's time) I really have no problem with it. I think it would be worth your while.

By superhero I mean someone who has power without also being a monster. I did read about the messengers, and while they leave things up to interpretation, I think their choice of imagry and their name 'the reckoning' makes it pretty obvious what they're alluding to. Of course, all white wolf games need a degree of positive interpretation and erasing of some lines to enjoy, but I am just not the kind of player who's gonna enjoy it. I don't really like playing Mages, Mummies or sorcerers either for the same reason, power without enough consequences. You're not a monster unless you choose to be one, it's just not what I go to World of Darkness for.

I do appreciate WoD characters who are normal people, I admit I find it a lot more compelling when Janet the Secretary is forced to become a Ventrue than when Janet the Secretary gets some superpowers and realizes there are monsters to fight. I'm sure it's full of some compelling writing, these games always are, but if you're not tainted by the power you've been given, I just don't see the point in making it a Gothic Horror game. I'd rather play those kinds of characters in more straightforward fantasy or sci Fi adventure games, and if I am gonna be not a tainted monster, I want to be a completely normal person with no supernatural powers at all.

While I do feel compelled to criticize what I see as reactionary tendencies inside these games, I'm not calling you a bad person for liking them, I'm just posting my feelings on my blog here. So by all means, enjoy your taste, it's just not what I'm interested in..

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snekdood · 3 years

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i feel like we gotta stop this whole thing where people think others are just so easily discardable bc its really strange imo. like as soon as they’re different ppl lose all empathy and i dont think thats normal.

#i mean its understandable if that person is like an actual nazi or something but #yknow #like what that person was saying-- maybe your friend said something shitty or like problematic or whatever #ppl are so quick to dump those people instead of like explain why its bad??#do you even care about helping your friends be the best versions of themselves or do you just want a cult of people exactly like you

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mishafletcher · 4 years

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Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

So I got this ask a while ago, and I've been lowkey thinking about it ever since.

First: No. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping.

Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don't even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you're somehow owed information about my sexual history. You're not! No one—and I can't reiterate this enough, but no one—owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don't feel like sharing with you.

The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you're traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can't sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can't talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life.

This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that's good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now— You don't have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but—

You don't owe anyone these pieces of yourself. They're yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they're probably not someone you should trust.

Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. This is bullshit on all counts.

There's a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it. Bisexual women aren't failed lesbians. They're not somehow less good or less valid because they're attracted to [checks notes] people. Do you think that having sex with a man somehow changes them? What are you so worried about it for? I've checked, and having sex with a man does not, in fact, make your vagina grow teeth or tentacles. Does that make you feel better? Why is what other people are doing so threatening to you?

Discussions of gold star lesbians are often filled with tittering about hehe penises, which is unfortunate, since I know a fair few lesbians who have penises, and even more lesbians who've had sex with people, men and women alike, who have penises. I'm sorry to report that "I'm disgusted by a standard-issue human body part" is neither a personality nor anything to be proud of. I'm a dyke and I don't especially like men, but dicks are just dicks. You don't have to be interested in them, but a lot of people have them, and it doesn't make you less of a lesbian to have sex with someone who has a dick.

There's so much garbage happening in the world—maybe you haven't noticed, but things are kind of Not Great in a lot of places, and there's a whole pandemic thing that's been sort of a major buzzkill? How is this something that you're worried about? Make a tea, remind yourself that other people's genitalia and sexual history are none of your business, maybe go watch a video about a cute animal or something.

Fourth: The idea of gold star lesbians is a shitty premise that argues that sexuality is better if it's always been clear-cut and straightforward—but it rarely is. We live in a very, very heterosexist culture. I didn’t have a word for lesbian until many years after I knew that I was one. How can you say that you are something when your mouth can’t even make the shape of it? The person you are at 24 is different to the person you are at 14, and 34, and 74. You change. You get braver. The world gets wider. You learn to see possibilities in the shadows you used to overlook. Of course people learn more about themselves as they age.

Also, many of us, especially those of us who grew up in smaller towns, or who are over the age of, say, 25, grew up in times and places where our sexuality was literally criminal.

Shortly after I graduated high school, a gay man in my state was sentenced to six months in jail. Why? Well, he’d hit on someone, and it was a misdemeanor to "solicit homosexual or lesbian activity", which included expressing romantic or sexual interest in someone who didn’t reciprocate. You might think, then, that I am in fact quite old, but you would be mistaken. The conviction was in 1999; it was overturned in 2002.

I grew up knowing this: the wrong thing said to the wrong person would be sufficient reason to charge me with a crime.

In the United States, the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 1996, clarifying that according to the federal government, marriage could only ever be between one man and one woman. It also promised that even if a state were to legalize same-sex unions, other states wouldn't have to recognize them if they didn't want to. And wow, they super did not want to, because between 1998 and 2012, a whopping thirty states had approved some sort of amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Every queer person who's older than about 25 watched this, knowing that this was aimed at people like them. Knowing that these votes were cast by their friends and their families and their teachers and their employers.

Some states were worse than others. Ohio passed their bill in 2004 with 62% approval. Mississippi passed theirs the same year with 86% approval. Imagine sitting in a classroom, or at work, or in a church, or at a family dinner, and knowing that statistically, at least two out of every three people in that room felt you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone you loved.

Matthew Shepard was tortured to death in October of 1998. For being gay, for (maybe) hitting on one of the men who had planned to merely rob him. Instead, he was tortured and left to die, tied to a barbed wire fence. His murderers were both sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison. This was controversial, because a nonzero number of people felt that Shepard had brought it upon himself.

Many of us sat at dinner tables and listened to this discussion, one that told us, over and over, that we were fundamentally wrong, fundamentally undeserving of love or sympathy or of life itself.

This is a tiny, tiny sliver of history—a staggeringly incomplete overview of what happened in the US over about ten years. Even if this tiny sliver is all that there were, looking at this, how could you blame someone for wanting to try being not Like This? How can you fault someone who had sex, maybe even had a bunch of sex, hoping desperately that maybe they could be normal enough to be loved if they just tried harder? How can you say that someone who found themself an uninteresting but inoffensive boyfriend and went on dates and had sex and said that it was fine is somehow less valuable or less queer or less of a lesbian for doing so? For many people, even now, passing as straight, as problematic as that term is, is a survival skill. How dare you imply that the things that someone did to protect themself make them worth less? They survived, and that's worth literally everything.

Fifth, finally: What is a gold star, anyhow? You've capitalized it, like it's Weighty and Important, but it's not. Gold stars were what your most generous grade school teacher put on spelling tests that you did really well on. But ultimately, gold stars are just shiny scraps of paper. They don't have any inherent value: I can buy a thousand of them for five bucks and have them at my door tomorrow. They have only the meaning that we give them, only the importance that we give them. We’re not children desperately scrabbling for a teacher’s approval anymore, though. We understand that good and bad are more of a spectrum than a binary, and that a gold star is a simplification. We understand that no number of gold stars will make us feel like we’re special enough or good enough or important enough, or fix the broken places we can still feel inside ourselves. Only we can do that.

The stars are only shiny scraps of paper. They offer us nothing; we don’t need them. I hope that someday, you see that, too.

#queer stuff #lgbtq #gold star lesbians #long post #sorry #Anonymous

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hamliet · 2 years

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I don't know if you're willing to open up this can of worms again, but aren't Isayama's infamous tweet and blog post at this point like 8/12 years old?

I'm saying this because people *still* consistently bring them up.

And as far as I know nothing else has been dug up? (I've been really looking for stuff and nobody really seems to be able to bring up anything else.)

Not that them being old makes them okay, but I feel like consistency is the key to understanding 'problematic' people.

J. K. Rowling just can't seem to shut the fuck up, your average creepy and wierd streamer dude just can't seem to shut the fuck up.

Companies with shitty work environments and their presidents just can't seem to be able to shut the fuck up.

I think I get the feeling Isayama can at least shut the fuck up.

Idk maybe we get some big crazy news tomorrow about how he's put all of his money into right wing shit or something, but as far as I know he's just planning to build a spa and maybe never draw manga again, right?

He did some philantrophy by auctioning off a sketch for AIDS orphans, I believe?

He also clarified Eren's genocide is supposed to be wrong?

I mean that's what I've found, I'm not even sure how many of these are true.

I'm just curious if anything else has cropped up/if you know.

But I also want to be careful about unnecessary praise.

So I am gonna answer this, but then don't really want more arguments, so asks arguing will be deleted (not on you Anon! This ask is fine, I just don't wanna get into it today).

Here's the thing about the internet: things never go away, and because things are still up, they're timeless. Ish. Even if they have been deleted.

Yeah, these comments are very old. I do genuinely get, however, because of what Japan did in WWII, why people who are directly affected in terms of their families (colonization like... doesn't just end) are not able to move past that. They don't have to. The effects are still felt today. No one has to forgive or move beyond it. I caution against telling people they need to move on from a comment supporting one of the men who participating in the abuse, even if the comment was not about the abuse. People are allowed to talk about their hurt and suspicion. I'll never say they can't.

That said, yes, it's entirely possible Isayama has learned more and realized by now. I hope he has. My guess would be that he has.

And that said, I would like to see each and every westerner who screams about the blog post specifically take a good long look at whether they've ever said good things about any of the founding fathers of America, who like owned slaves, or about other people revered in their country because I sure as hell want to tell you that none of us are innocent in this. None. Zero.

People are raised with different perspectives, and part of growing up means reexamining them. People, even historical people, are complex, and can have done great good and great evil (not saying this dude did any good; I don't know much about him).

Actually, y'know what, Americans should take a damn good look at Unit 731, and maybe have a "hmm" moment about why we as Americans never learn about Unit 731 in school. Like, it's not in any US textbooks. Could it be because the US, as much as we held the Nuremberg Trials for justice for the Holocaust, actually helped Japan get away with Unit 731 and the abuses in Manchuria because we got something out of it? (Spoilers: yes. We helped them get away with it in exchange for information gained from horrific human experiments.)

Maybe even take a look at Winston Churchill, a figure I've always had positive feelings about in history, been raised to revere, and then when once conversing with a Japanese friend, I told a funny story about how someone in my office used a lot of quotes from Churchill to encourage us during the pandemic. My friend, who is a wonderfully kind person, gave me a strange look, and then I realized that someone from a country that had been hit with two nuclear bombs might have a slightly different perspective on officials who authorized it.

The Holocaust allusion is the other Big Thing in SnK and is indefensible. The funny thing is I always get accused of defending this when I've always said it's indefensible and a terrible oversight, just because I don't believe the story is fascist and think it was unconscious rather than an act of conscious bigotry. Not that that makes it excusable or better, because it doesn't, and people can hate the work for that and talk about their hurt all they want. But enjoying the story doesn't inherently make someone bigoted (many Jewish people have spoken out about their love of it; they are just as valid as those offended). Yes, it's privilege sometimes to be able to ignore some things and not others, but... what goes into that is complicated.

We are all limited by our perspectives. If people who say you can't enjoy Harry Potter nowadays because you're financially benefitting Rowling have never or will never again buy chocolate from Nestle or Hershey (which use child slaves), then they can talk. Until then, focus on the planks in your own eyes (I completely get why many people will never enjoy HP again and support them in doing so, even if I continue to derive hope from the stories while acknowledging critique, and I know trans people on both perspectives who are all valid). Everyone has their own limits and compromises. It's important to be aware of them, yes, and to keep pushing for a better world and growing, but no one's getting through this earth pure. It's hard to say this without it sounding like an excuse. Maybe it is. I don't mean it to be. I don't know. I just know that I've never read another story that captures the grief of losing a parent in a way that speaks to me with such comfort like HP did.

Ideals and practice are not always the same thing; we're stumbling through a broken world on broken legs with a broken map. Let's look at the lighthouse (ideals) to chart our courses, and use our broken tools to haul ourselves forward, not focus on telling others their tools are bad. People screaming "you're a bad person if you ignore X!" are in sore need of a mirror. We should all work on ourselves.

#ask hamliet #snk #discourse #isayama hajime #tw #i want to use specific tw but tumblr won't let me will it

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xaibaugrove · 3 years

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Everyone in the Krew is Problematic

I was inspired to go on this rant by someone who recently brought up a question in a server I’m in, asking why so many people in the fandom seem to hate Mako and Makorra and why. This wouldn’t be the first time I defend Mako and it most likely won’t be the last, but it might be the first time I tear him and everyone else in the Krew down in the process, only to bring them back up. Hear me out though.

I think I’ve totally accepted that a lot of people in this fandom will always hate Mako and that I will have to perpetually defend him, I understand that this is the relationship I’ve chosen with this world. But what I still will never understand are the reasons why people hate/dislike him because compared to how much they love other characters in the Krew who honestly aren’t that much better than him (in some cases, even worse!), it doesn’t make any sense.

Let me also preface this by saying, I love these characters with all my heart and soul, probably more than I should love fictional characters, but this is the life I live and with that being said, I am going to tear them apart just to prove a point. Okay, here we go.

MAKO

Most of his detractors list the usual criticisms, which are valid when isolated. He cheated on Asami, he lied to Korra, he was a terrible boyfriend and essentially he treated the women he claimed to love or care about horribly. Gee, it’s almost like the man was a teenager with no experience in having long-lasting, healthy relationships and was raised in the streets by gangmembers while doing anything to survive and provide for his younger sibling after seeing his parents killed right in front of him and suddenly being orphaned…

I think Mako has been torn down enough, so I won’t get too deep into the tearing down part for him. It really does baffle me how someone can claim to be woke and not comprehend how someone coming from poverty could possibly be a product of their environment. Like, does everyone think that poor people automatically have hearts of gold and turn out like Little Orphan Annie? Why are people surprised that when someone has a shitty life, they might do shitty things?

Also, sooo many people love Zuko, who actively tried to cause harm to Aang, Katara and Sokka numerous times, and sympathize with his troubled past. But like, sure Zuko had an abusive father and his mother peaced out of his life for whatever reasons but at least he had his uncle. Mako had his parents for maybe 8 years before they were murdered in front of him and then had...no one for the next 10 years? Except for Bolin, sure, but no other parental figure in his life. Dude literally had to become him and his brother’s own parent and joined a gang to survive, and after all that, the worst he does is acts as a bad boyfriend toward Korra and Asami and he is instantly thrown to the wolves. Something doesn’t add up. It’s just...I don’t get it.

Yes, the way he treated people was bad, but people can grow? That’s a thing humans can do. And he was a teenager, my god. No, we cannot allow our past to be an excuse for how we treat others, but we have to be aware that there is a growth process to being human. And being human in and of itself, isn’t pretty. You think Mako is problematic? Don’t get me started on your fave.

KORRA

Ok, I love this woman to death but she is ridiculously problematic. She pursued someone in a relationship and essentially forced Mako to cheat on Asami by kissing him against his will, that’s already pretty awful and shows a lack of empathy on her part, also kissing people without their consent is no bueno. But also I just have to say it for the people who might not know this. One of the fundamental reasons why Makorra didn’t work was because KORRA WAS ABUSIVE. Okay? It wasn’t just that Mako was inadequate at relationships and didn’t know how to people, it wasn’t that she was secretly confused and wanting Asami the entire time (biphobia at it’s best) one of the main problems in the pairing was that Korra was crazy abusive towards Mako. Seriously, why don’t I see this more often in those discussions??

If we need examples, I have dozens. Honestly, it’s really easy to see how terrible Korra was to Mako, I’d actually argue that she treated him worse than he treated her. I mean, they were both terrible to one another, but in Korra’s case she went through the motions of being completely infatuated with your first teenage crush, getting with said crush, then crashing and burning once you realize that you have no idea how to treat a romantic partner so after the butterflies wear off you subject them to all the wonderful aspects of your anger issues. Not only did she scream at Mako during every argument they had, she also threatened him with bodily harm if she got really angry. Remember how their relationship crashed and burned in Book 2? Here are the things that Korra did during that time. Let me reiterate, this was not okay.

Mako is visibly shaken by this!

This woman burst into her boyfriend’s place of work and violently kicked his desk out from in front of him with all his coworkers present. That is not normal behavior. That is a red flag. And after she came back, had amnesia or whatever and forgot they broke up after that scene, let’s not forget that Mako was legitimately Afraid to break up with her again. Korra made her partner frightened that they might suffer bodily harm if they upset her. Again, and I can’t stress this enough, this is not okay!

The little scene in Book 3 when Korra is lifting Mako like 100 feet off the ground with airbending while he’s screaming in fear just to make Asami laugh is cute, right? I’ll admit, I loved that little moment too, it’s one of the only instances of Korrasami development that we got, but also, there were sooo many things wrong with that scene lol. Not only does Korra terrify Mako for literally no reason, it’s also sort of just her continuing to exercise some degree of power over him for her own amusement. Almost like a subtle reminder to him saying, “I am stronger than you in every way and I can break your femur like a twig if I wanted to… but I won’t, so look how much fun we’re having!”

Now of course, there are reasons why Korra acts like this. She was isolated for almost her entire life and never learned how to treat people and be around people. The Avatar is human because they must live amongst the people they protect and that helps them develop empathy and cherish life. The White Lotus deprived her of that fundamental aspect of her duty as the Avatar and it showed throughout the beginning of the series. Clearly, she was young, didn’t see how her actions could negatively affect others and hurt the feelings of not just her partner but also friends and family (she was really awful towards a lot of people in her life!). But as the series went on, we see her having less outbursts and learning to control her temper more.

One can only assume that she does not have the same behavior with Asami because for one, I don’t think Asami would play that shit, she seems like she would electrocute a bitch in a heartbeat and not hesitate if needed, but also Korra is not the same shitty partner she used to be as a teenager. Again, kids do stupid things. Adults do stupid things. And we learn and we grow. Korra will probably make some more mistakes in her relationship with Asami. I don't think anyone can have one bad relationship and suddenly learn all the lessons they can from it and have a perfect one the next go around. I can totally picture Korra losing her temper and raising her voice at Asami if she gets frustrated and forgets who she’s dealing with. Managing anger issues is hard, I know this from experience, and it doesn’t magically get easier. Of course, if Korra does pop off, Asami would definitely put her in her place because she’s a bad bitch who doesn’t take anyone’s shit, next character.

ASAMI

You know her, you love her, you fantasize about her and you probably have her on your list of fictional characters you would totally bang if you had the chance (I know I do), yes, even your best girl is problematic. It’s interesting to me that a lot of people sympathize with Asami and very few openly criticize her (so few that I’ve never seen anyone say a bad thing about her). What’s there to criticize though? The poor girl was cheated on by Mako, had her feelings disregarded by Korra, who claimed to be her friend but pursued her then-boyfriend behind her back and then made up for it by simping for her for the rest of her life? Also her mom was murdered when she was just 6 years old, her father threatened to kill her once and physically abused her, then died right after they started repairing their relationship, essentially making her an orphan at the ripe age of 22. Suffice it to say, Asami has been through it.

So, how could she be problematic, you ask? Why, of course, through the classic Bryke technique of romance progression in storylines called Kissing People Without Their Consent

To be honest, I did gloss over this with Korra, simply because there were sooo many other issues with that woman and I just couldn’t go through every single one in as much detail but that doesn’t negate how serious this whole sneak attack kissing thing is. Sure, Asami is very emotional and lonely and sort of desperate too, (it's a little sad, really) but Mako is clearly uncomfortable and completely caught off guard by the kiss. This is also the second time this happens to him in the series! There are a couple factors that might contribute to why Asami does this and acts this way, maybe Korra’s general awfulness rubbed off on her (don’t make a dirty joke) but this is still wrong.

AND that’s...pretty much it. Kissing people without their permission is a big no no, though. Not wanting to gloss over that, but Asami really is a good person who just did a not-so-great thing. Getting burned by Mako twice probably made her a little less inclined to be as forward with anyone though, and it looks like she now takes her time and is patient in her relationship with Korra. It even seems like Asami is the only person Korra is afraid to upset, as Korra does seem more gentle and calm when around her. And who knows? Maybe Asami living a life where a majority of the time she got whatever she wanted when she wanted it might have also influenced her to be more assertive or even imposing within her relationships.

If anything, those three fools getting into relationships with each other just showed how not ready they were to be in relationships in the first place and also how not okay they were.

BOLIN

Originally I titled this as “Everyone in the Krew is problematic (except Bolin)” but then I remembered that Bolin totally kissed a woman without her consent so I deleted the shit out of that!

This asshole looks genuinely pleased with himself after essentially assaulting Ginger. Not a good look.

Sure, Bolin is baby. He will always be baby to me. But that does not erase the fact that he also actively supported a fascist dictator. Not only was the kissing without consent thing bad, but there’s also that. No matter how many times people around him warned him about the fact that he was on the wrong side of things, that he was helping someone who was putting people into concentration camps...Bolin wanted to believe the best of Kuvira. He ignored obvious signs that the woman was a dictator committing human rights violations like crazy and you know, there’s gotta be a reason for that too.

Maybe Bolin wanted to feel like he was doing something good for once. When you think about it, with his role as the comic relief in the Krew, and sort of constantly being infantilized by his older brother, I wouldn’t be surprised if the man developed some insecurity in his ability to do anything good or useful for anyone without screwing it up in some way. In Kuvira’s army, it seemed like he was actually taken seriously, he felt like he was doing something that mattered. Korra had being the Avatar, Asami had her business and mindblowing philanthropy (honestly, her ability to be as charitable as she is profitable is insane) and Mako had his police work (ACAB, tho). Bolin had...the role of being a joke. A superficial actor. A former pro-bending meathead.

Bolin lived his entire life following after his brother that once they were adults and Mako finally decided to live his own life for once, it left Bolin completely lost. And lost young men are perfect recruits for fascists.

So, in conclusion, my whole reasoning behind destroying the integrity of my favorite characters is to prove a huge point. All of these characters are problematic. They have flaws, some bigger than others (looking at you, Korra. Just...wow), but ultimately, even if your fave is problematic... that’s okay. A lot of people, mostly younger people it seems, are really obsessed with being right about everything that they do and stan. And that’s a wonderful thing, so much change has come about by the younger generations calling out people who do fucked up shit, don’t want or try to improve, and get away with it. But it’s also caused a lot of people to be unforgiving and completely unwilling to acknowledge when people do improve and try to be better.

Personally, I love my problematic Krew because having issues that you’re constantly working on internally is human. It’s human to make mistakes, it’s human to grow from those mistakes. And it’s inspiring to me, who is wholly imperfect, to see myself reflected in fictional characters who aren’t perpetuating unrealistic ideals of human nature, characters who are messy, crazy and ultimately human.

As one of my favorite manga artists and queen of impeccable character creation Rumiko Takahashi once said:

“I think that perfect people are not very interesting.”

And I will always wholeheartedly agree.

#long post #rant #tlok #the legend of korra #korra #asami sato #mako #bolin #avatar: the legend of korra #back on my random bullshit i guess

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ceterisparibus116 · 2 years

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I think there's something to be said about how much certain fans villainized Matt throughout the show (especially during S3) in regards to his relationship with Karen... straight up even accuses Matt as "someone who treats women like shit" (esp from ****** shippers) like he was ever the only one who had faults about their relationship not working out when Karen has her fair share of faults too...

Tbh in general the refusal to acknowledge that there are some shortcomings coming from both Karen and Foggy and that it's not just "Matt is a shitty shitty asshole" un-nuanced take. Especially when he has literally shown symptoms of mental illness...

I've been fortunate to not run into too many hostile DD or Punisher fans (perhaps because I joined the fandom a bit late and joined tumblr even later?) but I do definitely see lingering evidences of those takes.

Matt and Karen's issues, in my opinion, could all be worked through if they just communicated better. Both of them need to stop lying; both of them need to learn to assume the best about the other; both of them need to be clearer about their expectations; both of them need to learn to compromise.

And Season 3 showed them going down that path of taking the time to actually speak honestly and listen to the other without pre-judgment! This shows that neither of them should be categorized as "a person who treats their partner badly" because they're both works in progress. They're just two people struggling to figure out a relationship - which is hard enough when you're not also taking down organized crime, dealing with lingering trauma from your past, and oh yeah, dealing with mental illness.

And that actually brings me to one of my biggest frustrations with fandom. And I know people are gonna disagree with me on this, so please, if you (general) are reading this and you feel attacked...I'm not attacking you. I'm just sharing my opinion that certain behavior is problematic.

Put simply, I think it's harmful how often fandom belittles Matt -everything from a vague "I love this character but he's trash" to uncritically saying Matt is a horrible friend, horrible partner, etc. -despite the fact that fandom as a whole is: a) aware of his mental illness, and b) aware of the fact that his most frustrating behavior stems from his mental illness.

And btw, re mental illness: I don't only mean his depression, although obviously that's a Thing. I also mean his collection of dangerous cognitive distortions. (Here's a list of 15 examples if you're interested: https://psychcentral.com/lib/cognitive-distortions-negative-thinking#types.) Yeah, fandom may not know the names of cognitive distortions, but most of us recognize them in him anyway.

And, like, I just don't think it's healthy to refer to mentally ill people as trash, even if they're fictional. The potential harm is that others will internalize that mindset. Maybe they themselves have mental illnesses or similar cognitive distortions that cause them to behave like Matt, and they conclude that they must be trash. Or maybe they know someone who behaves like Matt, and instead of going "Huh, I wonder what leads them to behave that way? I wonder how I can help them?" they go "Geeze this person is a horrible friend/partner." And maybe no one consciously internalizes it like that, but it might still happen unconsciously, and that just decreases the amount of empathy they automatically feel towards the frustrating people in their life. Which, like, if there's one thing the world doesn't need right now, it's less empathy.

And, I mean...what's the benefit? That it's funny? Okay, but there are other ways to be funny? Like, that's just not a valid excuse to me.

(And for the record, I assume that no one is intentionally trying to hurt people with mental illness; I assume most people say stuff like "lol he's trash" without a second thought. I'm just...encouraging people to give it a second thought.)

This probably went beyond the scope of your ask, but when you brought up criticisms of Matt that ignore his mental illness...well, you stumbled over One Of The Things I'm Passionate About, so...whoops.

#matt murdock #karen page #daredevil #asks #ask me things i'm friendly

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years

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I'm curious, what are your thoughts on Canon Harry, Hermione, and Ron?

Given my absolute trashing everyone else and sparse comments on Harry, you can probably guess.

I honestly don’t even know where to start with this.

I guess we’ll start with Harry.

Harry Potter

First, sorry guys, Harry is painfully stupid. It’s not that he doesn’t try hard academically, that he’s not book smart, or that he’s just acting his own age, he is honestly, truly, painfully dumb and is consistently an idiot throughout the entire series.

Let’s take third year as a random example. Harry’s informed there’s a mass murdering Death Eater on the loose that has the country in such a panic that they send dementors to Hogwarts, he is told directly that this guy has motive to come directly after him, he even notices that he’s kept a close eye on that summer in Diagon Alley.

Harry decides that his life is a bottomless pit of despair if he can’t go to Hogsmeade every month with everyone else. Not even if he doesn’t get the candy, Hermione and Ron bring him that afterwards, but not going at all brings him misery. And I get it, it sucks to be stuck in the castle when all your friends get to go on a field trip. BUT HARRY, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHY EVERYONE’S MAKING YOU STAY IN THE CASTLE?! Harry’s response is he isn’t afraid of death because... he isn’t afraid of death. Really, it’s not so much that he’s that brave but more that he hasn’t thought this one through.

Harry finally gets to sneak out to Hogsmeade and is thrilled and it takes Hermione pointing out that Sirius Black may very well know these other entrances (which he does) for Harry to even realize this is a possibility (even though Harry didn’t make the map). His response to Hermione is surprised Pikachu face for two seconds then, “No, there’s no way, Sirius Black could never figure out something as cool as this.” Then, when Harry’s finally caught, it takes both Snape and Lupin calling him a dick who dishonors his parent’s sacrifice and entire nation trying to keep him safe, for Harry to realize that maybe sneaking into Hogsmeade was a pretty shitty thing to do.

We also have the whole firebolt incident in which Harry’s sent a very suspicious package that could very well kill him with no return address. Harry gets unbelievably pissed that Hermione narks on him, even though he does eventually get the broom back. How dare Hermione get in the way of his quidditch!

This is just one book, mind you, we could go through all seven and find equally mind bogglingly dumb moments. Harry’s just not a bright guy (he also is very academically lazy, but that’s not the same thing.)

Otherwise, Harry doesn’t just have a little anger issue, he has a serious problem and I’m convinced he’s a psychopath.

Whoa, you say, hold on! Where does that come from?

Well, not so much the earlier books. While Harry is a dick (and yes, guys, he is) he doesn’t show really worrying tendencies. The worst he gets up to is icing out Hermione when she becomes inconvenient (see Firebolt fiasco), treating Neville like trash (Harry bails on Neville to sneak out to Hogsmeade), and just being generally self-centered.

I’m talking about the Order of the Phoenix onward. First we have HARRY’S RAGING CAPS-LOCKS FOR AN ENTIRE NOVEL. Granted, he’s an angry dude in a stressful situation, but that was... a lot. But it’s really Half-Blood Prince were I start grimacing.

We have his reaction to Ginny. It never really seems like Harry ever likes Ginny, it’s more that he has this green rage monster in his chest that wants to possess her. It is the weirdest thing I’ve ever read in my life. Or, well, one of them. So that’s... a thing.

Then we have the whole Draco thing. Harry becomes obsessed with Draco Malfoy, more so than usual. And yes, Draco was up to no good, and sure we can tilt our heads and say it’s pretext for Draco/Harry. Except guys, Harry’s scary about it. Take out the appeal of the slash for two seconds, Harry stalking Draco is that problematic thing that if Draco were a woman we’d be saying “ABORT ABORT ABORT”. It of course, culminates in the bathroom incident. Now, you say, Harry didn’t know what that spell would do. Well, he knew it was for enemies and even afterwards, though he panics and feels bad, what he really seems to be bad about is the potential consequences to himself not the action. he focuses more on the fact that the beloved Halfblood Prince was Snape than he does the fact that he nearly murdered Malfoy. If I’m remembering correctly, Harry in fact makes out with Ginny not long after, got to set that chest monster loose, y’all.

Then in book seven Harry starts using the unforgivables with absolutely no regret. Torture for you, Bellatrix, I am edgy now. It’s very clear that Harry only cares superficially about morality. He generally follows the rules and various ideals because he likes the idea of being noble and virtuous, he isn’t actually a virtuous guy at all.

I’m not even sure he really understands friendship. Harry’s friends are people who are great and all except when they become inconvenient, then he can treat them like the trash they are until they come back around (if ever).

He’s kind of a monster actually.

He’s also the poster child of why Voldemort may have a teensy-tiny point that the statute of secrecy as it stands around muggle children is not sustainable. Really doesn’t look good for the cause when the most famous child in the wizarding world is raised by extremely abusive muggles and grows up extremely maladjusted because of it.

Hermione Granger

Now, I give Harry a lot of flak for his treatment of Hermione, but Hermione’s not a barrel of roses either. She may be friends with a pair of assholes who don’t really like her all that much, but she kind of dug her own grave.

First, Hermione has a bit of a superiority complex, even when she’s completely friendless. She absolutely looks down on girls like Pavarti and Lavender and part of the reason they hate her so much is because of that. That’s part of Hermione’s issue, she’s too good for everyone, and so she eventually becomes friends with famous Harry Potter and Ron Weasley who barely tolerate her because she was too good to be friends with, say, Neville.

Hermione never realizes this.

She also deeply enjoys, I believe, being the smartest person in the room and much smarter than her friends. Granted, this is what she defines herself as, and it means she’s needed by everyone around her for this reason, but she still does like it just a little too much.

And oh my god is she horrifyingly righteous.

This we see in what happens to Marietta, Umbridge, as well as her own parents. She permanently disfigures a girl for snitching them out to Umbridge, never telling anyone this was the consequence, and is smug when we see what happens to her because “snitches get stitches”. It’s pretty heavily implied by canon that Umbridge was raped by centaurs (first they’re centaurs, that’s what centaurs do, second we next see Umbridge in the hospital wing looking catatonic and the gang laughs and makes horsey noises). Yes, Umbridge is a vile evil woman, but that Hermione’s so proud of her vengeance is.... concerning.

Finally, her parents. Hermione, without asking her parents’ consent, wipes their memories and rewrites their entire lives. Congratulations Hermione, even more than Harry you are the poster child for Voldemort’s cause of “what goes wrong when muggles raise a magical child”. Hermione essentially kills her parents, treating them like no more than dolls, and the most she’s upset about is what it did to her. To Hermione, her parents aren’t people, not really.

People in general aren’t people, or at least, Hermione is more than willing to go to drastic lengths if she feels she has been slighted or betrayed. Never get on Hermione Granger’s bad side.

Ron Weasley

Shockingly, I’m not really a “Ron the Death Eater” kind of person. Ron clearly has an inferiority complex, he sees being friends with Harry as a way to make him special from his brothers, he’s overly ambitious and easily jealous, he’s academically lazy, kind of an ass, and he has many flaws as a person.

That said, he’s not the same level of scary asshole as Hermione and Harry. Ron doesn’t cut up Draco Malfoy in a bathroom or even disfigure the guy. He’s just your more or less normal dude who doesn’t realize he’s friends with lunatics.

TL;DR Harry and Hermione are assholes. Ron’s kind of an asshole too but shockingly less so than the other two.

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thequibblah · 2 years

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Hey, I've been a big fan of you after I foun Come Together, and I've been catching up on some of the craziness that has transpired in this fandom. I just wanna say that I read one of your longer posts and it made me really see how problematic Dark!James is. When some really big authors started writing fics with that trope, I just went along with it, but it really never sat right. I feel kinda shitty that it took a few of you to really come out and say it for me to realize the harm it caused.

Thanks for saying this. I ended up just saying a lot of stuff here because I had thoughts, ha, but they’re not necessarily directed at you — just prompted by all that’s been going on as well as what you bring up.

Honestly this won’t come out very articulate but…there’s a lot to be said yeah for the don’t like, don’t read rhetoric/going along with things being used to dismiss feelings a lot stronger and a lot more complex than, well… “don’t like.” And reducing this to kink-shaming is so wrong it genuinely makes me laugh. What, precisely, is the kink in question?

Something I think about a lot, probably more than I need to, is how and when I offer support to creators on here. There’s no easy answer or solution but I feel like responsibility on the internet can, does, and should coexist with intelligent conversation, disagreement, and the right to curate your own space. I don’t actually have any obligation to boost or share fic because certain people write it. I do this for my friends because I want to support them, and I do so knowing that content that rubs me the wrong way in their work is something I am comfortable approaching them about. And I know I’m a particularly confrontational, firm person (ha!), and that loads of other people made uncomfortable by this trope felt like they “had to” express support because of the way it occupied space in the fandom…which, you don’t! If you’re looking for permission, here it is.

You don’t have to do that, even for the most innocuous of reasons. If you don’t read my fic you are under NO obligation to share or recommend it just because I’m loud on here or you see other people doing so. I am not offended or hurt by the concept, nor do I think anyone should be! Support is lovely, and I appreciate the shares. But for young creators and new fans on here especially — maybe we emphasise sharing bigger name fics to get into the community too much? I don’t know, I’m basically thinking out loud, ha.

And, y’know, I actually don’t think I’ve gone so far as to say stop writing/reading these tropes. I don’t see the appeal…just like I don’t see the appeal in darkficky traumafying Lily’s experience, which I’ve talked about, or (wrongly) sexyfying arranged marriage, which I’ve talked about. In pretty strong terms! What I said was: I think this stuff is distasteful and incompatible with what I write. Please don’t engage with me. Like, this is not even a request I can enforce, so again, seems ridiculous to take issue with it.

I think the reason so many people have become so up in arms about shaming or bashing or what have you is that for a lot of you “stop reading or creating this stuff” is an easy, clear-cut solution. It’s an action you can tell us, the hurt fans, that you’ve taken and feel like you’ve done something. What is more useful — what we have asked and asked for but is harder to give — rather than saying you will or will not consume these tropes, is interrogating why you were able to look past the implications or why your instinct is defence. Why you’re tempted to shield authors first. Like, do you see the point? Not a vague point about hurt feelings or harm — the point, which is that this comes uncomfortably close to romanticised allegorical antisemitism or racism? Can you name the point, thereby assuring us you’ve actually listened and not just gained the sense that you’ve said or done something bad and should be apologising? Especially now, after really, really, really big-name fans have underscored it? Have you listened to us?

So I’ll say it again. Personally I only care whether or not someone reads those works insofar as they read and engage with me. That’s why I said it on MY blog, tagged do not reblog. This is about me, my place in this fandom, and my friends and our feelings (the caveat being that if you say something about my friends or me that blatantly misrepresents us, I have no problem jumping in).

Let me pick an example if that helps concretise things. Not two months ago I published a fic almost entirely based on my experiences navigating unsafe, exclusionary environments. If you were moved by the metaphor there I hope you have some spare feeling for me, a person, not a fictional character, in an environment I am telling you feels unsafe. Or, again, don’t read my work. I don’t want people consuming what I put in my fiction and dismissing my actual feelings in real life.

#ask me #anon

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