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#like she was like “oh yeah i got to this specific state...”
lyrashifts · 1 month
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on a random note my mother one time brought up that she's gone into the void state like it was normal??? then i tried to ask more about and she was just like "yeah, it was cool, yk, i was thoughtless, couldn't hear a whole lot..." so anyway if she can do it so can all of us
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arklay · 1 year
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did not just think about diana finding al just sitting on their bed holding their wedding photo in his hands after she brings him back, and he's just looking at it, visibly distressed, and the moment she touches his shoulder he starts crying and buries his face against her chest because he thinks he really ruined their relationship. good lord
#leah.txt#pair: ewskers#baby boy she would not have spent years regenerating your body if she hated you i am going to disintegrate i can't do this#i think when his viruses are stable his emotions are very much Not. i think the mutant strain changed specific brain chemistry and he lost#a lot of empathy and just the ability to really feel emotions. he was very numb. he knew he should feel a certain way and emulated that but#he didn't really *feel* and after everything is stable he's feeling things he hasn't in over 10 years and he's also in a very bad state of#mind from everything that's happened so oh boy things aren't going great for them#also numb except like anger. and hatred. he was being turned into a literal killing machine after all. notice how blood thirsty he got?#i have so much post volcano lore for them i can't do this i need to just. explodes. and like they are still working through things ofc (it#takes years) when diana is alerted of activity with the company and even though they go and do all of that like he is still trying to find#himself again and decondition everything spencer and umbrella drilled into his head. they are still evil and scheming don't worry there#besties. and they still think they are better than everyone else. this is fact in their minds. but like. there's a lot going on for him#i put him through a lot of pain and as much as i joke that i want to put him through a blender it actually makes me really sad. he doesn't#need more trauma lmao. yeah he is evil and fucked up but no child deserves what spencer did to him#fictional man making me really sad. i need to wrap him in a blanket#sir why did you have to go and try and kill everyone on the planet whadda hell is wrong with you i'm holding your hand#maybe if your wife was there kissing you then you'd calm down a little bit and not throw yourself into a volcano#not unfolding time coming on shuffle as i type this what is wrong with you spotify i can't go through this right now#i like to see powerful men weak and cry but also he is a ball of trauma and it hurts me#i have Many thoughts about why he did what he did in 5 cause yeah it's out of character for him to follow through with spencer's vision#but i don't think that's what he was doing. kinda hinted a bit at this with that one fight fic but also i have a whole essay somewhere
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capslocked · 6 months
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KINKVEMBER DAY: 8
[prompt: phone sex]
male reader x shin ryujin
16k words
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The phone rings one too many times, and Ryujin is in the middle of scrunching up the paper slip that Chaeryeong handed her earlier that afternoon when she hears your voice.
The sounds of her scrambling for the receiver and her head smacking against the headboard come through in pretty good quality.
That never gets old.
"Stimulating conversations," you offer smoothly, like it isn't a euphemism and instead some high-brow intellectual pursuit. "How can I help you?"
Ryujin is speechless for an unbearable five, ten seconds until she lets out the kind of low chuckle that probably sounds better than it looks. "Hi," she says, "hello, I, uh- I don't know how all of this works."
"Why don't we start with who you're looking to speak with tonight?" you ask.
Ryujin sighs. She runs a hand through her hair, looking at the messy tangle of clothes on her bedroom floor with mild resentment. She’ll take her chances, figuring a direct approach is the best route when she doesn't really know where any of the lines get drawn or who is allowed to say what and who isn't.
"Um. Okay. Who you got?"
"We have a large variety of operators to suit any taste," you explain kindly. She appreciates that. "Do you have someone specific in mind? A gender perhaps, to start?"
"Well," Ryujin starts, running her tongue along the edges of her teeth. Lia has this thing she constantly says, that there's always a thousand and one reasons not to do something, and Ryujin is the first person to make fun of her for it - but here she is, finally putting that adage to use.
"I was actually calling to, um," she exhales loudly. "A guy? I mean look - girls. Girls are great, but if you - mmm." She clears her throat. Because she knows how she wants to do this, and it's most definitely: "A man."
You wait for a second before replying, and Ryujin allows the stillness to expand over and fill out every corner of her bedroom before a bright, "Alrighty, well," comes filtering out her phone, tinny but as enticing as ever. "That would be me."
"Oh."
"Yeah," you reply, easy and unhurried. You sound exactly like the kind of person whose company people pay handsomely to be around; the professionalism is undeniable, but there's something to be said for your tone. The softness to the vowels, the almost imperceptible upward lilt to the words - Ryujin gets that, maybe.
You're pretty confident in the answer, but you ask anyway, "have you ever done anything like this?"
Ryujin opens her mouth and hesitates for a brief moment.
"Well," she muses. She's tried porn, she's tried her own fantasies, she's tried cranking up the hot water and touching herself with the head of the shower aimed somewhere she's told by other girls: it's there, free of charge. "I haven't."
"But you have a boyfriend," you state. "You have a man, who you enjoy things with?"
Ryujin laughs nervously. "It's...it's been a little while. Not recently. Sorry. I know you don't-"
"No, no, not at all, you're doing fine, it's just that you sound very attractive over the phone. Excuse the assumption."
Ryujin laughs and rakes her fingers through her fringe. She knows it's a line, but she laughs anyway. She could - if she was looking for the deranged fulfillment of it - pore through a billion comments on instagram, on twitter that call her a lot of things: gorgeous, beautiful, hot. The last comment she read before almost deleting her app entirely was someone who decided to textually imitate a dog barking to a picture Yeji had taken of her in a coffee shop. There's a novelty, she thinks, in being charmed by someone who has no idea who she is.
"You have good ears then," she says, smirking into the receiver. "So do you normally do, what, ask questions? I have no idea."
"Yeah, it helps me build a profile," you reply, "but if you had something else in mind-"
"No, please, shoot." She grabs the pillow from behind her back and flops against the mattress, staring up into the ceiling fan.
"Do you feel comfortable sharing your age with me?"
"Twenty," she answers without missing a beat, even though that isn't right. It's weirdly important to her, keeping it private, and she isn't sure why - but then you say something pleasant and complimentary about college and new experiences that she's unable to register, and you ask her for her name so quick she just blurts it out:
"Ryujin."
"Pretty."
"Fuck," Ryujin grins, immediately chewing on her knuckle to bite back a gasp. "Sorry. The name is cute or, whatever. Whatever. Sorry for the curse. God, I don't really have a filter - what about you? Do you have a name, Mr. Operator?"
"I do."
Ryujin lifts a leg up and puts it down again. She doesn't know if she should already have taken off her pajamas or if that's weird. Or if the fact that it doesn't bother her means this is more or less wholesome. She turns over onto her stomach, humming into the phone and now she doesn't know why she's thinking about your face. You could be- well, fuck, you could be anyone, but there's this gnawing compulsion to put something together.
You tell her your name and she scoffs for a second, before quieting down and returning you a, "pretty."
"Ryujin, tell me." There's probably a slightly too long pause from your end of the line before you get on with asking her, "when was your last orgasm?"
She drops the phone right in her face. It bounces off the bridge of her nose before landing in bedsheets beside her and her eyes are welling with tears while she scrambles blindly across her bed, cursing into the receiver and squirming. She pulls the phone to her ear and catches the last couple seconds of you reassuring her that it's okay, that it's completely fine if she's hung up or gone.
"Actually, I have," and she curls her fingers into a fist, "never came in my whole life."
You clear your throat to keep a less than professional sound from coming out. A quiet space she feels necessary to fill: “Not even once.”
"Really?"
"I know. And I've only recently realized that's, uh - er- a pretty un-normal thing." Ryujin makes a waving motion with her hand even though you can't see it, trailing off into silence and blushing furiously. "Sorry," she apologizes. She doesn't know what she’s apologizing for, but she does it again. "Sorry about that."
"I should be the one feeling sorry for you," you rib.
"Fucking tell me about it."
"Hey, this reminds me, would you be averse to the idea of touching yourself?"
The question stutters Ryujin in her tracks, and she doesn't even say no but a drawn-out "nngh" leaks out before she can stumble into something more intelligible. "Isn't that, like, what you're supposed to do on these calls?"
"Every call is different, Ryujin."
She chews on her lower lip, rolling it under her front teeth. You say her name like you know her, and it's throwing her for a loop. The comfort you have with the whole situation - asking her a million questions and not demanding answers, taking cues and reassurances in stride and turning everything into some sort of ploy for getting her naked. Fuck, she'll take a bit of a plunge:
"Should I be touching myself?"
"It's not my place to say."
"Okay, well that's kind of a frustrating answer."
"So you're saying you like being told what to do," you tell her, and you hear the sharp inhale in reply.
"If I knew what I liked, you think I'd be calling a sex hotline and hoping some stranger might take pity on me?"
You laugh out loud, and her response is the quickest, the cutest little, "seriously!" before she chuckles too.
"Ryujin?" you ask.
"Yeah?"
"Are you straight?"
She nearly chokes - because it's like you're able to just read her mind - and if you can do that then there's nothing you can't do, maybe. And here, excitement feels a lot like apprehension. She twists and curls in on herself, thighs rubbing together, the flat of her hand traveling across her stomach.
"I'm-"
"Because no one should have to pretend that they're interested in guys," you interrupt her and, god, for as much time as she's spent dwelling on that, she wishes it were that simple. 
It would be a hell of a lot easier if she knew why she wanted to get her face between Yeji's thighs and drag her tongue all over her clit until that prettier-than-perfect face of hers cinches up in a pleasure that comes with just the right amount of agony - or if she knew why she didn't feel anything like remorse or guilt or envy when her boyfriend came around instead of wanting, you know, to get on her knees with her mouth around his cock too -
Fuck, it's all very complicated.
"Straight," she answers. She likes cock, as much as anyone realistically can, and she knows the body on a man can get her dripping and easy in all the right ways. So, she just swallows. Says, "straight enough."
"If you were to touch yourself, right now, and someone - say, a man - were telling you exactly what to do: what would spring to mind, if anything."
"Mmm. Is this you asking me to touch myself?"
"Again. That's up to you."
Your voice is light. Very pleasant. Very male, Ryujin realizes. She gulps.
"Can you, I mean," she says, running a hand down the length of her thigh, pressing down at the hollow.
"Ryujin,” you say, letting her mull over how it sounds in your mouth. “Take a breath for me, please."
Her exhale leaves her with a heavy push and she tries not to laugh. Nervous tic. She's getting goosebumps, but she feels warmer than before.
"We could say this isn't the first time, you and me, in some very broad and abstract sense. How does that make you feel?"
"Strange." She touches her outer thighs again and arches her back. "Kind of horny," she admits. And it is odd - your words, the things you say - and maybe it's her nerves because the experience is new, and so are you, and so are her feelings, all wrapped in one.
"Do you want to do something about that?"
There's silence between you for what seems like a very long time, your breathing quiet but apparent - a signal you haven't abandoned her in some state of vulnerability. Ryujin inhales deeply. She's shaking in her fingertips. The tension has her taut and waiting, and that's funny, really, because it's what she's been doing for years. The rubbing. The touching.
Her hips rock forward gently and she answers the unasked question with a sweetly husked, "uh-huh."
"What are you wearing?"
"Ah, really?" Ryujin laughs. Her fingers pause at her waistline. "That old, bad porn trope."
"I like hearing about people's clothes, is all," you excuse yourself lightly. "Helps me get a sense of things."
"Yeah, alright. Sweats. Baggy ones." Her lips fall apart. "Shirt."
"Is that all? Nothing sexy."
"What's sexy?"
"Sexy is…"
She listens to you mull it over, listening for a ruffling or two. "For a girl with a nice body - some body - some curves," you continue, and Ryujin has to drop another finger to the hot line of her thigh, her lower belly. "You need lace. Silk. You've gotta leave the best bits a little hidden, at least for a while longer."
"Wow. You sound a hell of a lot like you'd enjoy taking someone's pants off," she half-teases. "Do you make all your calls like this? One sordid fantasy at a time, huh?"
"Something like that," you reply. And then, as if reading her mind, "are you doing anything, right now?"
"I'm touching myself," she exhales. "Are you?"
"Ryujin, not yet. Please be patient."
She makes a face even though you can't see it or taunt her. That's an unfair request - you have an unfair request.
"Just, wait," you tell her. She's drawing lazy, winding circles across her thigh. "Let me show you something, will you do that for me?"
"But, what."
"Tell me everything. All the things you're thinking. Things you want to do."
"Everything?"
"Yes."
She blinks away her initial disbelief and reaches around for her lamp to switch it off. Until it's just the hallway light peeking in through the crack between her door and the door jamb and you, a stranger who won't be seeing her face or hearing her say anything stupid. She shakes out a few more breaths, shuffles against the sheets, and glides her fingertips past her belly button.
Her hand rises up her stomach in one decisive movement, until her fingers curl beneath the bottoms of her bra, trapped in its underwire. "I'm thinking - unh - about, ah. My friend?"
You're quiet and let the silence linger, until she seems like she might not find her way; so you repeat, "Go ahead."
"And a guy she used to like, fuck, she'd show up here, drunk on, ah. A weeknight. Somewhere, fuck, around midnight. Walk past me into the kitchen where we had the - the light. God." Her hips stutter and she grits out the rest through her teeth. "In the refrigerator. Ah, yeah, a midnight snack. Always looked way too fucking good for, um, oh, for a casual booty-call."
"Does your friend have a name?"
"Yuna," she practically pants, and immediately realizes she shouldn't have said that either.
"Did you always know what was going on? Between Yuna and her-"
"Boy-toy, yes - it was so obvious, I always knew, yeah," she said, clumsily grabbing the sheets with one hand as she drifts further between the peaks. "Just - fuck - he'd be picking at, ah, something with chopsticks."
"In your kitchen?"
"My, uh, table. And I'd be working up the nerve to ask."
You sigh over the phone, "ask him what?"
"What it was, like, I knew she was only- shit." She keens high in her throat. "What it was like, fucking taking that cock of his, and bending Yuna's tight little, ah, ass over and, mm, railing her on the side of her fucking bed - and just pumping her full of cum just like that until- Jesus, she would walk around after and sometimes-"
You groan softly. This encouraging little sound.
"-fuck - sorry, I mean. Yeah, he, sometimes he'd make her walk around with his, ah, stuff inside. Down her fucking pants and, it's like, fucking disgusting, I swear-"
"And?" You breathe a heavy edged noise over the line.
Actually okay, so maybe this was more than she bargained for, maybe she bit off more than she can chew - maybe, she feels like her insides are collapsing; all the fire pooling around in her stomach and gathering into a melting sort of weightlessness.
"And it makes me feel fucking-"
"Fucking what."
"Why am I talking about this, why-"
"Talking to me? Fucking wet, Ryujin, answer the question."
She pants down at her phone and then turns her face into her forearm, rubbing and making sounds. She thinks about, oh, fucking Yuna and how she showed up to hang out once, with cum leaking down the crease of her inner thigh, smearing against her skin and down between her legs.
"Wet." She swallows. "How do I-"
"Say that you wish it was you," you tell her. "That you wanted that, to be fucked. To feel a cock inside."
Her head falls back. "That," she manages, "fucking, that."
You drawl so that the question might roll off, easy: "Is that the kind of girl you are? Told not to curse, not supposed to let anyone else play with you - you just need it, don't you? Do you need someone's cum? Just tell me."
"I think so, ah," and she stops moving her hand. "I think I'm gonna go now. This is fucking embarrassing, like. Okay, sorry."
"Don't hang up," you tell her, and the soft edge to it is one she really wants to indulge. "Don't," you repeat, a little louder.
You start talking, about the same sorts of things she's imagined herself: the sex and the sounds and what he can do to her. You build a slow and aching heat between her thighs that has her dripping through her underwear and grinding against her fingers. Telling her how she's the one that needs to be filled, needs a man who can wrap her legs around his waist, get to the deepest parts of her, the parts untouched and willing.
Ryujin gets that - she wonders, half out of it and stroking faster than she usually would be, how much of it has anything to do with who the voice is on the other end of the receiver, and how it could be what a desperate, pathetic, tired part of her has always wanted.
"Are you?" she asks, panting over the phone.
"Am I what?" you whisper back to her.
"Are you," and you hear how she inhales sharply through her nose, a desperate gasp leaving her lips on the exhale, "going to, um. Are you touching yourself right now?"
Your reply is immediate, and her eyes flutter and close the second you tell her exactly what she wants to hear:
"God, yes."
She drags her hand up the center of her body, runs her fingertips over her jaw and presses the heel of her wrist to her neck to feel her pulse slamming hard.
"I'm fucking throbbing, Ryujin; you sound gorgeous like this, like nothing I've ever heard, I'm stroking my cock just picturing you, please-"
"Tell me." She's mouthing into the center of her palm, saying the words, tasting salt and musk. "Fuck, ah," she babbles, "tell me what you would do with me."
"I'd get you on your knees," you tell her without hesitating for a beat.
"Fuck."
"I'd come up behind you and tell you not to be scared, baby. I wouldn't hurt you, I'd just touch you real gentle. Push my fingers past your tongue, slide a little down your throat."
"Uh huh," she moans, her head falling back and rolling, rocking against the mattress.
"Want you sucking on my fingers. Need your hands around my cock, or better, my balls, play with them. You're going to take those fingers - every finger I got, all five, yeah?- all ten of them," you joke, "and open up your tight cunt - like you are now, like such a good fucking girl-"
The girl fucking yelps. Just this honest sound of depravity; it's what she's paying you for. It's a silly line of bullshit, but it makes her bite hard and ache a little around her own knuckles and moan in her palm and dig her nails hard into her flesh. Her thumb fumbles across the top edge of her underwear and you pant again into her ear as if on cue, giving her a small bit of guidance that has her jolting in pleasure. She didn't know that was there, fuck, fuck-
"Like that, Ryujin. Breathe," and she does.
"Please," she whines, trying to find somewhere for her arm to settle, resting finally in her hair - setting the phone to speaker in a foolish moment of lapsed-judgment, just before it nearly clatters off the side of her bed.
Keep going - she's telling you over and over - keep going, and you’re picturing her there: eyes closed, legs spread wide, bent knees quivering and toes curling into the sheets. It doesn’t sound fake - you've heard a million of them, you've learned them in their different tones and accents and you can spot a faker a mile away. And the girl on the phone right now isn't pretending or thinking about whatever's happening somewhere else.
(You don't join in for everyone. You can't. It's an asinine consideration that you'd be rubbing your fist up and down your cock while it's sore and wanting - aching from the neglect or lack of rhythm. You have to remind yourself it's just a job, that the logistics just can't support such selflessness.
But then there's the very fucking premise.
That the girl on the other end of the line is inches from the goalposts, fingering her cunt and sighing into the throes of her first orgasm - first ever, because you did this, you brought her this far - you're the fucking culprit, and no matter how many girls, or boys-pretending-to-be-girls, how many people have gotten off with the help of your voice, your instruction, this one sets a different fucking precedent.
You're not lying when you say, "I'm rock fucking hard, Ryujin," or "there's precum all over my knuckles, baby."
Because there is, and the poor thing chokes out another desperate sound when you tell her.)
"I'm right there, ah, fuck, keep going-"
"I've got my hand around my shaft, just enough that I can fuck it, can't I? The head is getting slick - baby - and my palm is gliding nice and easy. Are you cumming, Ryujin? You better be, you better be cumming right now."
There's a heaving gasp and she calls out for you, babbling curses and "please" and "fuck" in alternating succession, with enough punctuation for you to have to let your lip slip under the hard bite of your front teeth. "Don't stop," she tells you, voice thready.
"You need this so bad."
"Yes," she gasps. "How would you-"
"How would I fuck you?" you finish her thought.
She waits a moment, sucking in shallow breaths and then replying weakly, "I really like... I like doggy."
"On your knees?"
"Yeah," she stammers, "I like when, like- ah, like, pulling my hair."
"Fuck, I love that," you say into her mewling. "Splayed out with your tits against a pillow and getting your pretty, little pussy pounded? I bet that'd feel so good, huh? Hands so rough on your hips, on your throat, squeezing your neck so you'll turn pink. Just to see you smile, I'd probably fucking let you take whatever you want."
You're met with a broken moan, a long string of syllables ending on a note that has your shoulders clenching and cock jumping in your grip.
Tense over the things you can't see: Ryujin biting down into the side of her hand, the other knocking painfully against the wooden side rail on her mattress, her thighs tightening and screaming and clamping around her wrist as she pulls weaker, wilder whimpers out of her chest each time her fingers drag across her slit and the sensitive curve of her swollen clit. She's dying, she thinks, she's going to fucking die - the in and out of her soaked pussy, through all that sticky, satiny skin, slick fingers diving in, twisting until there's nowhere for them to go.
No other recourse than to fuck in, fuck, fuck, like that, fucking god.
There's heavy silence on the line for god knows how long - well, you have to check the log. But for her, it feels like fucking forever. That was - that was it. It's so fucking mind-wracking how good it was, she can't quite wrap her brain around it. Nowhere near. She thinks she'll have a better idea after two rounds, definitely by four. She'll buy something, use the discount, go shopping - an orgasm just to make sure she's not bullshitting herself.
You clear your throat.
She moves sluggishly, away from the side and against the headboard - the heat still unbearably oppressive, her t-shirt clinging and sticking. "That," she stumbles through the afterglow.
"Do I need to apologize to you?" you ask lightly.
"What? Oh god, no - no way. No way. I just."
"Yes?"
"Like I didn't know it was this-"
"Did you just cum, Ryujin?"
She's laying there with the phone pressed to her brow. A hand palmed over her own racing pulse. The faint smell of her own cunt lingering around her face.
"I don't know," she tells you, and promptly hangs up.
-
The darkness in Ryujin's bedroom is punctuated only by the faint, hazy light streaming in from the hall, and her bedroom fan making its creaking little circles, as she waits in her post-nut-high for her breathing to normalize. Her mind is buzzing, and out of all this, she has a hell of a bill and a couple conclusions:
She's a coward and a pervert, but definitely, definitely bisexual.
Or, like. She's in some weird gray area between not liking whenever anyone buys her drinks, but also the girls at least let her dance a little close. That's a strange thing, isn't it? For how often her mouth does stupid shit - you think at least someone would figure it out for her.
But you, oh fuck. You-
She's fucking shaken up, for sure.
-
(It's a home office set-up, actually.
Your desk isn't organized; you're sure the photos on the wall are askew and the paint looks slightly worse for wear if you were to turn the lights on - which you never really do. There's an aging lamp tucked into the back corner, a bottle of scotch next to your handset that's closer to halfway empty than halfway full, and you can't stop imagining it.
Promise, This never happens.
You've got the name stuck to the roof of your mouth even though you know it's fake. Stuck with something so painfully abstract. Imagining this girl that is probably as brash and bawdy as her voice, or more exciting than either - maybe her hair is long enough to brush along her breasts. Or maybe it hangs just over her shoulders. God knows just how that would frame her features.
You can see it, really. You pump a handful of coconut oil into your palm and the details solidify so easily in your head: her pretty mouth, nose, the dimples in her cheeks - eyes glazed and sultry and gazing at you.
Smelling sweet, all the places you need, skin hot, clit swollen-
Just- fuck. Fuck.
Ryujin, huh, imagine that.
Ryujin.
And you jerk off right into the soft embrace of a tissue.)
-
A little more than a week later:
Ryujin's all wrapped up on the couch, with an arm cushioning her head and watching TV when there's a sudden commotion from the front door. Yuna - her friend, her very nice, very male friend who never shows up after midnight unless there's a promise of sex - comes bumbling into the room.
He has no regard for boundaries.
So,
Yuna starts to say, smug, from where the hallway becomes the living room, "Ryujin - look at us. Stuck on a Friday night. You gotta boyfriend or something?"
She's completely unfazed by this interaction. She's pretty sure he has his own key, so like, he should be used to it by now too.
"Kind of." She shuts off the TV to turn her attention towards the topic at hand. "Why?"
Yuna runs a hand through all her long, silky hair and gestures her cock-du-jour on over to the door of her room. "Waiting for a call, maybe." She waggles her eyebrows. "Are you any good, I mean, you never seem to..."
Annoying brat. 
Ryujin smacks the back of her neck and interrupts, "you gonna fuck him? Go ahead and fuck him, Yuna." She checks the lock. The kitchen. Gets up and tries to ignore the heat flaring behind her ears.
"We could pretend," Yuna muses, tugging the waistband of Ryujin's shorts around her fingers before she's out of arm's reach. The elastic flips back into her waist with a dull snap.
"Dumb idea. That's a dumb, dumb idea," she reasons, because she knows Yuna has no self control. None, and it's showing; the second her shoulders sag forward and her eyes dart, craving, Ryujin steps back in. "Don't be stupid."
Yuna's lips are tilted, playful. Ryujin wants to smack that look right off her face. Like she fucking deserves any kind of victory just because she found out she can fuck anyone she wants while lacking the self-awareness to somehow be contented with anyone. She's not going to call her a slut - out of a matter of principle - but god, does she fucking want to.
"Gotta get ready, is what you should do," Ryujin mumbles under her breath.
"Fine." Yuna shrugs and pecks an annoying kiss to Ryujin's temple on her way to the shower, waving a hand over her head with a casual, "If you want something, you've only got a half-hour."
Ryujin pushes her hair out of her face and does what she does best: overanalyze and overthink the situation.
Whatever. Yuna won't give it up regardless, not in any way she'd actually be able to enjoy. Her cheeks go a little redder while she pretends to not be considering it.
God, a threesome in total functional harmony however: her working her mouth on Yeji (Ryujin doesn't know why she's thinking about Yeji, but she is), Yeji working her mouth on her boyfriend, her boyfriend working his mouth on her -
That'd be something, she thinks. Like one of those Escher diagrams, but one where everyone cums at the end.
The thought makes Ryujin wet enough to squeeze her thighs together and stand up a little straighter.
Then she hears the showerhead turn on, and she wonders just why, exactly, Yuna is such a spoiled asshole.
-
Turns out,
The universe just has this habit of providing Ryujin with what she wants right alongside everything she doesn't.
She’s stretched out in her sweats, sat up at the top of her bed again and touching herself beneath the sheet in a pointless attempt to contain the mess. Fucking horny - it's honestly unbelievable - and her left hand's making lecherous, slick noises until it's absolutely gross. Until Ryujin's gasping and panting and sweating from the nape of her neck and the back of her knees.
All because Yuna's the loudest little-fucking-whore of a roommate anyone has ever heard.
She's moaning like she's getting fucking plowed into the next life. And apparently, the cock she's got in her cunt is fucking huge if those little murmuring whimpers are anything to go on. She keeps begging the guy, coy, for a kiss while she's probably folded up like a lawn chair in there, getting railed, and the fact that the boy keeps obliging is as admirable as it is kind of insulting.
"Goddamn," she thinks out loud, because the walls are paper-fucking-thin. The apartments in the area are built in an earthquake-safe way, which in reality, means they can either withstand a magnitude 6.0 and come out without any severe structural damages - or that it's so cheaply constructed the building will go down like a matchbox house before it stands a chance against a tremor of any significance.
They're easier to replace that way she’s told. And Ryujin's apartment is definitely of the latter; she can hear everything.
The skin on skin, their bodies sliding together in the slippery sheets. Her mouth smacking wet around his tongue as he bucks forward and asks her to do a hundred filthy things, asking her where it feels best - that sort of thing, which gets her wound and agitated and frustrated, and fucking horny as fuck. Ryujin's bent-inward and panting when he really gets to work - the creaks and groans, their mingled pants and the constant thudding and swaying of the headboard smacking into the wall.
She doesn't even need to put her ear to the partition like she's sixteen years old all over again, hoping to catch her old brother going at it while her mom was out. Trying to figure out this whole sex thing - what all the fuss was about.
Just the way Ryujin sighs is nothing short of despondent. Slightly pitiful.
And every tight circle she's running over clit feels so fucking good, until she realizes the room goes real quiet for a bit. The stillness - no slapping, no movement, just wet, panted-breaths and muffled speech. She nearly asks aloud what's wrong - but she hears it: Yuna's hushed but totally undeniable,
"Been so long- don't, don't- hold up," she croons in these high, sing-song little huffs. "That - uhn, ah - that's my - that's my good spot, there, keep - yes, harder!"
Ryujin slams her eyes closed, dropping down onto the mattress and wishing she'd slipped her hands into her sweats sooner. Fuck. And as Yuna's back starts banging against the wall - so rhythmic and fucking thorough - Ryujin can feel the heat curling behind the backs of her knees, radiating along her calf and reaching into the smalls of her feet. Fuck. Fuck, she doesn't even get to watch.
Right there. So good, please, so fucking good, is what Ryujin can’t not hear coming right through the drywall.
She’s three knuckles deep in her pussy, all stretched out, and she's practically drooling - "spread me, baby. Hold the, fuck, spread my lips open. See me- unh. Ah - see me? Please, do it-" - the boy groaning about it as he fucks her, and then, Yuna, needling him with a quiet, breathy, "harder, can't you?"
The answer seems to make Yuna squirm and scream.
And Ryujin's nearly rolling - rocking, fucking humping her own fingers because it's starting to ache a little, a cramping in her wrist and arm and jaw that she's trying really hard to ignore, rubbing and fingering and fucking herself closer, the heels of her feet sinking hard against the sheets, throbbing and aching around the flicks of her knuckles, harder, faster - faster -
"Fucking hell-" she seethes and stops moving all at once - because god, Yuna is un-fucking-believable.
The absolute bitch, she's doing it again: squealing and cursing and calling his name into her orgasm and just basking, it sounds like, right in it. Because she always does this, every single fucking time, she acts like it's the best feeling in the fucking world and she fucking loves everything, and that shit just - Ryujin grits her teeth and grimaces and pulls her slick fingers from her body - that just ruins it.
All that build-up and for what?
Fuck, Yuna really has the nerve to go there too. She's talking about sucking her own damn cunt or some bullshit-
Yeah, it's not fucking fair, Ryujin concedes.
Or maybe she's being punished. She could live with that, but god. The unfairness of it all. She tries, for a half a minute, to let her throbbing stop being a goddamn nuisance. But the noises coming from the other room are making her crankier, more angry, more irate - and definitely hornier than she ever really intended, even though she knows Yuna is thoroughly distracted in there.
Ryujin sits up a little straighter. Squares her shoulders, steadies herself and fishes around in her pockets with her uncoordinated, cum-coated hands until she finds her wallet, a credit card, her cell -
And there's an aching, a sore pulse of neglect between her legs; that's all too much. A quick peek down confirms that, yep, she's practically dripped right out of her shorts and even gotten a dark spot in the front of them. How great is that.
Yuna is over there, all, "thank you - ah - can you please do me a favor and fuck my mouth with your big, big, huge, fucking cock-" and this guy, he sounds so patient, telling her how he wants to do exactly that, but he wants to fill her tiny pussy up first, fuck her here, fuck her there, fuck a baby right into her. Wants to get his cum all over her face, smear her mouth and her throat and her cheeks - 
Ryujin inhales through her nose and holds, eyes falling closed in something between misery and anguish.
He's telling her, yeah, of course he'll fill up her throat - give her so much it's leaking out of her fucking nose - and Yuna sounds like she's moaning and garbling an objection to that last part - but it doesn't actually fucking matter.
"Geez," is Ryujin's quiet, little gasped-out response. He just fucking pounds her right back into place; her next orgasm. Fuck-
And there it is: the slew of moans that start back up and just keep on keeping on.
Shin Ryujin is going to lose her fucking mind.
-
Ryujin only lasts a handful more days before she calls again.
It’s another Wednesday night, if only to increase the odds that you’re working. Yeah, she could go with another guy, but another guy might not do everything you did, talking quietly and calmly - so composed while Ryujin was losing some part of her sanity to the thumb she pressed on her clit. 
No, it has to be you.
That's what Ryujin makes herself say when the operator apologizes and explains you're busy.
"Will he be working much longer? Please, I, um-"
"If you give me your number," the operator tells her, "I can add him as a preferred associate. You'll get him next time instead of going to the line."
Ryujin pauses, finger held to her chin. Will he know that? There's all this implication isn't there, that maybe he won't. Maybe you're popular - are you? It's a lot like texting someone for the very first time. And if you did - know, she means - would she be acting like a stalker? It would feel weird, probably, but no worse than some people do it already.
Oh god, this is kind of fucked up.
Maybe a little. Maybe.
Ryujin pauses, finger to her chin. Will he know that? There's all this implication, isn't there, or maybe he won't. Maybe you're popular - are you? It's a lot like texting someone you like-like for the very first time. And if you did - know, she means - would she be acting like a stalker? It would feel weird, probably, but no worse than some of things other people are undoubtedly doing with this service, Ryujin decides, and rattles off the digits so fast the operator asks for clarification.
"If your schedule doesn't open," the line says, "call back and leave a message with when."
Ryujin shrugs and says, "yeah, okay."
-
You make Ryujin sit through forty-five-fucking minutes of on-hold music - this barely audible synthetic noise that signals a connection is still there, truly a genre for no one - all before she just cuts the fucking line and lays down on the couch.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
Whatever.
-
(You are… going through the motions.
Some girl on the other line is barely holding it together; you can hear her thighs making slick noises. God. She sounds desperate, she's holding the phone all tight and saying your name. She's fucking babbling; it's not attractive, not while you're tilted back as far as your office chair will go and staring up in the ceiling.
You're bored, mostly.
"Please, please, I'm-"
"Going to cum, I know, princess." She asked you to call her that. "Mouth all open? Can't help it? Just need to lick it nice and fast?"
The answer comes all choppy: "I can't, ah, a-ah-nymore, no, I, can't, need-"
"Do you have any idea? How hard I'm fucking stroking my cock right now? Sitting right in my lap. Jerking it right for you," you say, and then she makes an embarrassingly wet noise, gasping through a choked whine, "so I'm ready to give you what you really fucking need."
"Yes," she chokes. "There - um, please, I just-"
"The biggest fucking load," you tell her. She has no idea, really, that you've got one hand on the receiver, the other just pinching the bridge of your nose - neither of which are you jerking the cum out of your cock and balls like a fucking hydrant as you’d described. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, and you keep your face turned to the side as she starts screaming. As it starts running into one noise that lasts forever - so unbearable that, this time, you consider going out to the bathroom to grab a glass of water and a handful of painkillers. "Need it deep. Let me pour it in, yeah?"
"Yes," she gasps again, heard on this distant frequency because, yes, yes, you've plugged your ear with a finger.
"That'll satisfy you. C'mon, now, princess - give it right up," you tell her, but your eyes are a little dull when her moan turns out all-gagging and twitchy and spasming through it, until finally:
"Ugh."
You wait a moment for the gasping and hitching to finish.
"Good girl," is your distant reply, followed by a polite, perfunctory, "call back anytime.")
-
Ryujin feels like she's in grade eleven again as she stares at her phone. Boys. Drama. Girls. The drama.
The overanalyzing, the wondering, the hesitating. Fuck. She wishes she knew a way to change this, because she doesn't feel particularly mature and is somehow reduced to this girl, this idiot sitting here all embarrassed and staring and moping about a thousand different calamities at once.
She's looking right at the lock screen: the wallpaper of her and Yeji and Chaeryeong out getting coffee on a random Sunday, all bundled up. Winter. Like three, four years ago, maybe.
Ryujin looks like shit, it's funny.
But Yeji -
How she can make the winter pallor look good is beyond Ryujin's understanding. It's unfair. All the things are. Her brain is back and forth and spinning, spinning like the hands on the old clock hung up on the wall in the kitchen. So stuck on what's not quite normal. Stuck on what doesn't fucking matter - who even fucking cares who the fuck she's attracted to?
She feels it between her legs.
Has been for like a month, or longer, without an outlet. Without anything to give her the hint that maybe she can get back to it - the right it.
She doesn't need to call, she tells herself. She's not some weirdo who's sitting on this for days just in the hopes that her boyfriend is having a bad week with work or whatever. It's only Wednesday, technically. Still way early. Just another few days, she reasons, another few hours - what does it matter?
Wednesday. She can feel the word settle inside of her.
Though only once her bottom lip is chewed to hell, does she pick up her phone and decide she will.
-
(You're in your bedroom this time around, finishing up your own weekday workout - on the bike, fifteen-second sprints - when your phone goes off. A simple dinging. Very unassuming.
The operator comes in with a cool, level, "line two, callback."
Then there's nothing but silence for a few beats.
You towel some of the sweat off your face. It's warm - your skin, flushed. Bouncing your phone in your palm. The same feeling that's been tugging at your throat for the past two weeks starts to flare and swell.
Not quite a hope, not quite expectation: just something close.
"Are they still there?"
The operator confirms. "Shall I put them through?")
-
Ryujin fumbles in her own rush of bravado, hands pressing against the fronts of her thighs in an unflattering, nervous little gesture as the connection clicks and picks up.
"This is him," comes your voice, a little husky and raspy from all the day-to-day talk, but even and easygoing and maybe - just maybe - something she can hang on to. Ryujin gives an acknowledging "Mmmn," like the phone call isn't causing her major inner-turmoil.
"Right, ah." You sound kind of, dare she say, nervous yourself. You clear your throat into the line and ask, "what brings you here, stranger?"
Ryujin pauses at this; the red in her ears reaches her fucking jaw. Stranger. Jesus christ, okay, okay-
She laughs. Stops immediately at how self-conscious she sounds. Clears her throat and tucks some of her hair back - settles herself into it like her life hangs in the balance. "I'm here to get my rocks off."
"It's not usually my place to say," you begin in earnest, "but if you're anything like me, and this is gonna sound completely off-the-cusp, but those two weeks really seem to build up, don't they?"
God.
She pulls her sock off her ankle. There's eczema on her heel, and it's the kind of thing she can imagine Yeji telling her to not scratch - that she's going to fuck up her skin. It's funny the stupid fucking things she can remember and all the things she forgets. Like just now, with your voice in her ear, a little unsure in a way that says you've got other, much more important things you should be doing. But you're here with her.
With Ryujin.
God. She might hate herself a little.
"Um," is how she finds her bearings. "Actually."
"It's a joke. Not that- I mean." She hears some rustling - assumes it's coming through the ear piece. There's an abrupt slamming on her side of the line and it seems like the worst kind of deja-fucking-vu. Her neighbors. She forgets it's even this late into the evening. That other people don't have to work so hard in their free-time.
"Maybe this isn't a good night," she says, not so much as thinking the words.
"What?" you ask. Then it dawns on you. "No, no. If you're there, I'm here." You clear your throat. "Besides, there's nobody I'd rather hear from than a woman so desperate she's signed onto my frequent flier's club."
She stops chewing the insides of her cheeks long enough to give you a tired, irritated sound. "Whatever."
And you nearly choke trying not to laugh.
"I don't, um-"
"What, do I have a nice voice?" You laugh quietly.
Under normal circumstances, that wry edge, the bit of try-hard-humor would have her rolling her fucking eyes clean out of their sockets. So when instead she opens her mouth and a fatal-fucked-flirty-feminine, stop, comes out, the vowel pulled long like a plea or a request - well, Ryujin's forehead drops against her bedspread in immediate regret.
You seem startled by it too, going quiet for a second.
"I-I'm-"
"Cute," you decide.
Her ears are red-hot and her cheeks have to be pinking and god, she hates this. That she's hearing this so soon, and it's making her brain hazy and soft and stuttering through, um's and yeah, well, um's. A part of her can't believe she's paying for this, and then, at the same time, she can't believe she's not actually putting cash down for more right this second.
Because it feels -
Like maybe -
Her shoulders rise. She wants this to be quick; she hates this feeling of embarrassment creeping its way in and grabbing onto her with both hands, like this weird, pseudo-affection. She's a grown fucking woman and here she is, letting all her guard down for someone she doesn't even fucking know.
You can feel the tension, hear it. Your lips purse. You try for something easy.
"Go on and give me the details, Ryujin."
Before you'd even picked up, she'd already half-undone her shirt, the flaps of the collar hanging loose with her hands gently petting her ribcage - so easily giving and pliant that there's a good portion of her, in spite of the doubt, in spite of what seems completely illogical about all this, that has her realizing maybe she wants this more than she can possibly understand.
God, she feels like a fucking fool.
"It's pretty boring."
"Not to me. I've spent the last few weeks talking to a bunch of assholes who don't appreciate what they got in the first place," you reply. She imagines you're a little playful about it. Wonders, momentarily, how good that smirk looks - if your eyebrows are lifting like you've been teasing her since day one. Fuck. 
“Your operator is a total asshole too, by the way."
"Don't say that," is Ryujin's shy reply, practically moaned out. "You sound like someone I'd absolutely fucking hate, jesus, stop that."
"Just because you don't get on with someone, doesn't mean they can't get you off."
"Smooth, or something."
"I'm taking a break, relaxing a little, enjoying an overrated TV show or whatever this is - not really minding my business," you say, but your smile is so audible it's fucking offensive. And she's - she's maybe, definitely into that. Like the fucking embarrassment in this is turning her on. Ryujin puts the tip of her finger in the waist of her shorts, experimentally, gently, this small brush and press to her sensitive lower stomach. And it's true. All she hears is her own breathing in the receiver, a bit labored over the slightest, least indecent touch. It's amazing, how much her body can want even when her head can't seem to catch up.
"What do you like?" she asks. “You’re a person, working bits and all, something’s gotta get you all worked up and flustered, no?”
"Will you believe me if I tell you this is my absolute favorite?"
"Do you always dodge the question?"
"It's just like a courtesy," you clarify, "it's not personal."
"Now I sound like a desperate pervert."
"On the contrary," is your warm, buttery reply, and it is fucking aggravating just how well this works on her. "I think there are much better things people can say about you."
God, that - the thought, the possibility of something about her that has nothing to do with how 'thick' or 'thin' her thighs are, or the silhouette of her ass in safety shorts, or how her voice makes guys want to ask if they can take her home and fuck the answers from her, or any of that; it's kind of liberating, just a tiny bit. That it can be a good thing for some reason. God.
Ryujin rubs herself. "Yeah, well."
She wants it all the same and says nothing, shifting a little until her hips tilt slightly upwards, letting her pull at the drawstring of her shorts, loosening the grip. She's already kind of feeling woozy in all the best ways, soft and feminine in how she slides her hand underneath her shorts. Over panties first, with no clear idea if you can tell and honestly, too distracted to wonder about that, if she should care or not, too caught up with her fingertips over the raised seam in her underwear - where the fabric's wet from her.
A shush comes into the line when Ryujin swallows.
The ache between her legs grows louder.
"You still there, Ryujin?"
"Of course," and then, she finds a little more reassured finality: "fuck, yeah, fuck. Please, I..."
"Ryujin," you say with all the calm and control in the world, "talk to me."
-
(So - truthfully, honestly, factually - you are a total wreck.
You're sitting there in a heap of bedsheets and a cold sweat when Ryujin finally mutters into the silence, "thanks, for that, I, uh- that felt really good, exactly what I needed," and hangs up before you can ask about her day or comment on the weather or suggest calling back tomorrow.
She is just perfect, the way she lets a small "I..." slip when she's close. Perfect, how she groans her little broken, satisfied sigh of a yes, her last, fleeting exhale just a sweet, high, barely there please, her body tensing with every little shudder and moan and pant. How the pace goes fast and then slow - like she's gotta think it out a second, her own fingers bringing her closer and closer until there's nothing but a flurry of movement and ragged breaths - an enthusiastic little mmph noise - followed by Ryujin's wet and slick little laugh that sounds like relief.
Like you did something to help, like she needed you and wanted you.
There's cum sticking all up your torso and along your wrist, the inside of your thigh - everywhere you could manage, frankly - and, shit, it's not fair, you realize:
She can find you, whenever she needs you.
And you -
You're just sitting here. Nowhere near sure she'll even call again.)
-
There's a sizable difference between being lonely and being alone, Ryujin thinks, running the cloth under the stream of the shower and then pressing it damp against her throat, wiping at the backs of her knees.
Lonely means that something's missing - it's something she feels when she catches a glance at the handsome arm reached around Chaeryeong's waist, the way she dances so close to someone she just met, or whenever she tells her that she's thinking about, maybe, probably, definitely, absolutely going home with him if her friends don't stop her from leaving. God, her smile is always so cute when he's near. When someone's calling her over for drinks - hips sashaying like she doesn't know the whole bar is staring at the creases where her thighs flare into her ass - because he gave her a look from across the room, and she's swaying from drink to drink.
Like, of course, they're fucking; it's a known, unsaid thing.
She knows it, he knows it. Chaeryeong fucking owns it.
Alone however, is just what it says on the tin.
That's something else Ryujin has yet to learn - that everyone loves differently, cares for different things. Yuna is still single after all, and she can never shake the feeling that it's simply to spite her for some perceived slight or another; Yuna can't live without company, no matter how brief or short or meaningless, so perhaps it's better she never catches on or finds anyone worth keeping around.
And Yeji?
Ryujin sighs, rakes the comb through her wet hair.
The showerhead is running hot between Ryujin's fingers, and the water coming off of her skin turns to steam instantly, filling the bathroom with a permanent cloud, stuck in flux - rising towards the ceiling. She passes her fingers under it, watches the flow, a quiet hm escaping the back of her throat - and she considers the way it feels beating against her throat and chest.
Down the concave curve of her stomach. How it burns red right over her thighs. The pressure slips and sinks low, lower - and when she puts a palm out for a little stability, her left leg can't help but buckle just so, lifting itself out and off to the side. So she stands, toes pointing against the shower floor, face first into her arm against the cool tile.
Ryujin sees where the rivulets of water have gathered above her clavicle - feels them trail down over the tightness in her breasts and between. A couple images pass through her mind at once - thoughts of fingers trailing a line back up the center of her body and a gentle tap against her chin, turning her face to some perfect all-consuming kiss - a hand squeezing at her calf, rubbing her muscles gently - Yeji smiling into the crook of her neck, the grasp on her hip, wrist flexing. Her back bowed and fingers, broad and experienced -
"Don't need you," Ryujin quietly says to nobody, which -
You're doing so well, Ryujin hears back in her imagination, you're so beautiful, you can keep this up, I know you can. I bet it feels good, doesn't it? Just let go and I'll...
Ryujin whimpers out. She can feel that line deep inside her going taut, buckling in her core, the reverberations down to her wrists and fingertips and toes. If she didn't have the wall in front of her, she knows she'd be on her knees - kneeling to the hot water pulsing around the knots of nerves right behind her clit. The pressure hitting her like the crack of a whip.
"Fuck me," she says to no one, gasping in that way you only can when no one is listening.
Yeji's smile is what's gotten her this close so many times, the smell of the ends of her hair tickling Ryujin's nose. Hell, she can't stop thinking about the way her nose crinkles or her dimples flare just when she finds Ryujin's name in her mouth.
It's not fair.
She's so close to cumming and letting whatever happens happen. The slick of her release pouring right out into the drain of the shower, washed away with the excess. So when her whole hand shifts and catches in just the right, delicious, frustrating way, Ryujin inhales so deep through the end of the sentence that, as a result, her knees wobble.
She feels like fucking crying.
It's that sweet little lilt in Yeji's voice, saying things like: "It's alright. I promise you can keep this up a little longer." And "Oh, god, baby." And, at worst, the way her voice shakes with a "come here, honey. Let me-"
Ryujin has to catch herself when her footing slips a little from under her. Then, your voice, coming in distant at first, grows louder, clearer. Into something catastrophic, right against her throat, like it knows the very inside-and-out of her, "go on. Fuck, please, cum all over me, baby - show me a face no one else gets to see."
And for the first time,
Ryujin gets herself off. Alone.
She moans and sighs out. Gasps, "there you go-" and whispers an, "ah, jesus." She manages the most silent, the least decipherable, fuck, as it leaves her mouth like a prayer. Her left knee twitches, body curling into itself, and her hand moves - fingers closing and her eyes clenched shut, a wave, cresting - she just-
Collapses.
Wanting: Yeji, sure - and she came - but the only thing she can really wrap her head around is the truth that she's so, utterly fucked.
-
"Are you sure there's no one you can bring?" Yeji asks in the middle of slapping the ever-loving shit out of a coffee maker that has, for as far as anyone can remember, never worked.
"Uh," is Ryujin's inconvenienced reaction, the tips of her fingers idly sorting through her credit card statements, which a more-sober, less-horny version of herself is a little out of sorts over. "I'm not sure there's anyone I'd want to bring."
"Uh huh," Yeji replies.
She pauses and rests the bottom edge of the coffee maker on the edge of the kitchen counter, stopping herself mid-smack - leaning away to try and give the stupid thing a once-over.
"Who the hell says it's got to be someone you wanna make babies with? Maybe it's just someone you'd think would look good beside you, smiling at the cameras with. Or."
"Or."
Yeji's lips tilt. "Or someone you wouldn't mind screwing in the bathroom."
Ryujin spins the pen in her fingers and gives Yeji a look that says back off and can you chill out already, in the sort of way it takes years to ferment - the silent understandings, the good-natured naggings, the good-fucking-luck-with-that-buddy's. Yeji knows she's getting on Ryujin's nerves. Knows that has never stopped her before.
"In my defense," Yeji clarifies, "I can count at least a hundred people that would crawl over broken glass to sleep with you and, uh-" She knocks the coffee maker off of its stand and holds it gingerly to her chest like some child, motherly. "-I don't wanna take a bullet for your unintentional chastity, Shin Ryujin."
"First of all, don’t pretend you’re doing me a favor here," she replies. "Second-"
"Can't hurt just asking, right? I could set you up, you know, someone you've never even met - no pre-burnt bridges to maneuver."
There’s a world, and Ryujin imagines it for all of a second, where she stands up and grabs hold of Yeji by her cute little ponytail - if nothing else, just to stop the way it bounces every time she steps - and maybe, she also kisses her on the mouth so hard she stumbles. Or perhaps she could pull that ribbon free of its holdings and unravel it down against Yeji's jaw. Pull a whimper, a tiny little ah that says this was inevitable. Maybe they crash onto her bed. Maybe she gets her fingers sticky with how soaked through the cotton of Yeji's shorts have gotten in those short, heated moments - what a world that would be.
"One of what's-his-name's friends? I’m assuming."
Yeji looks annoyed and proud and beautiful; all at once.
"Yes, and what's-his-name's pillow talk is exceedingly whiny about how my best friend is so incredibly standoffish and abrasive and-"
"Okay. I'll go." Anything to stop the image of Yeji with the comforter pulled up to her tits and hair splayed all over the place; red and flushed. Her lips curling with the curve of the sheets and god -
"Just for an hour?" Ryujin asks.
Yeji finally places the coffee maker back onto its stand.
"I mean, nothing much happens an hour into a birthday party," Yeji reassures. "It'll be fun."
"Uh-huh."
"Trust me."
Ryujin wonders just how far Yeji could go - if she knows that she can snap her fingers together, and Ryujin will be there: ready to do anything.
-
Ryujin is trying to go to sleep, is how she'll explain it if anyone asks. Though she prays to god no one ever will.
She tries books. And she tries scrolling aimlessly through Instagram. And there's this one guy she kinda-sorta-dated's updates: photos of a vacation to Boracay, which seems nice; his chest is a little more defined, more chiseled than when she was seventeen and kind of fumbling her way around a college boy and his stupid fucking preoccupation with who should be paying for drinks at whatever run down establishment was his pick of the night. Ryujin makes a face at the screen, pursing her lips; there's a girl in the photo - she looks too young for how her ass is falling out the one-piece. To the extent that she makes sure to send an unsolicited meme she's tagged herself in - like "here is my past and here are his balls", and gets a block and a report as a thank you.
It makes her feel good. That's what's most important.
And then, with little other distraction and a decent lack of luck, she picks up the phone.
It rings for a while before the operator comes in and says, "You're at number nine."
"What?"
"The queue. This call has you at number nine."
Ryujin slowly leans up from the pillows and squints into her bedroom.
"Huh."
"Would you still like to be connected, miss?
Ryujin thinks it over for a moment. Of course you're popular, a part of her mind comments, because you've got a voice like gravel-slung honey-gold. She's imagining eight other girls just like her, laying in their bed, panties on their ankles and thumbs covered with spit. All desperate for you. All curled up - one right after the other - with no fucking idea.
"Miss," the operator comes back with.
The line goes quiet - a few beats, but not too uncomfortable a silence. Then she gets a soft little exhale out, saying, "can I leave a callback number?"
"If you like." The operator considers the idea. "I can’t promise whether he’ll call you.”
“No, yeah.” Ryujin curls an arm under her chest and plays a finger against the swell of her breast through her night shirt. Gets lost in her own consideration. “Don't think he would anyway."
-
A new day is defined by new possibilities, or something or another you read once stitched into a frame; Something you muse over the rim of your coffee, nose-deep in the laptop at the kitchen counter top.
Last night ended a bit unexpectedly - this not considering the couple's awkward fight which took up two-thirds of the evening. Or the girlfriend-slash-fiancée of that guy, which somehow led you to wonder just how old was too old. But as you were logging your final client session of the night a ping came through the employee portal and let you know that someone had left their number with the operator in the hopes you'd call.
You swig back the rest of your coffee, roll your shoulders and shrug. Oh, there are at least a million reasons not to call a number that randomly, offhandedly arrives in the middle of the night and gets patched through a phonesex hot line under the cover of darkness.
The same number could be out there, defacing the wall of a truck stop bathroom, or inked into the skin of a squat prison convict who's got a brow like the horizon. Maybe, it belongs to that married business man that took your personal phone number as his private line and spent all the time bragging how he was going to quit his wife and make a run for it with you - just you - even though you'd rather stab him with a fork than be involved with that kind of psychopathy and are honestly just looking for that extra bump in commissions every time his wife calls to ask the exact same thing.
Your clients call. You talk.
You take the cash.
The point is: there's more fucking deviants out there than there are stars in the sky. You would know; you talk to a new handful every goddamn day.
Yet it doesn't really matter. You're gonna do it. Because you're feeling restless. Because - and it sounds insane - there's at least some probability, no matter how remote, that you will pick up that receiver and punch in a number and the line will connect with the girl who's been on your mind almost constantly for the better half of two months. That you might listen to the dial tone turn into her answering with a genuinely indifferent, "this is Ryujin," or whatever her name actually is -
You're living in a pipe dream. You're probably reaching, actually. And all you know about this woman, is, what? What does it really, factually, truly amount to, the amount you feel you've come to know about her.
You know more about how she prefers to methodically, meticulously begin, then draw out, and finally end a blowjob to someone that ain't you than you do about any detail in her life story, frankly. You're reaching, and you know it.
You pick up the phone and dial.
-
(It goes straight to voicemail, and get this: that’s her real fucking name.)
-
Yuna has the audacity to ask, as she slides into the booth, "who do you keep texting?"
Ryujin's eyebrow arches.
The younger girl nods towards where Ryujin's thumbs are practically flying over the keyboard.
"No one." Ryujin puts the phone on her lap and crosses her arms over her chest. Then the words seem to echo through the inside of her skull, so she shakes her head a little, in emphasis. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."
She's right though - and maybe that's the problem. Maybe that's why it's hard to answer.
Chaeryeong washes the shot of whisky down with a swallow of lemon-lime. Her eyes slide open to Ryujin as she wipes at her bottom lip. Then she spikes a finger into Ryujin's ribs.
"Spill."
It's a dangerous order, and she doesn't realize it at first. Chaeryeong's bad ideas have an annoying habit of flinging themselves on Ryujin, like a bomb dropped at low altitude - sudden, quick, and more than enough to shake everything up. Chaeryeong will make Ryujin go out dancing - and then she'll lose her clutch purse. Chaeryeong will remember she started the evening with a scarf - so they need to walk out a whole block or two to find it.
More importantly: Chaeryeong is not a great drunk.
So, of course she spills. She relays her findings, carefully and as deliberately as she can muster.
"Does he have a nice voice?" Chaeryeong asks.
"It's kind of deep?”
Chaeryeong snorts. Apologizes immediately.
"Not... deep. Sultry. I guess. Smooth, easy to hear." Ryujin tells the two across the table.
Yuna whistles low. "Romantic as shit."
“Fuck, I don’t know. In, like a sexy sort of way." Ryujin raises both palms in a vague gesture. She clears her throat at the two pairs of eyes staring back at her as though the words coming out of her mouth belonged to a foreign language. "Uh. Sort of raspy, or something, sometimes, like he's... on the phone a lot, and you know," Ryujin flushes, suddenly caught and wondering where all the confidence went, "yeah."
Yuna's leaning forward, chin in her palm. "I'm having a hard time believing texting is a sort of standard operating procedure."
"Well try a little harder," Ryujin snaps, eyes finding Yuna's and making herself fucking clear.
Chaeryeong has this look about her, she's trying to keep it all in, but then there's her eyes, cinched at the corners and dead-fucking-giveaways. She puts an arm against the table and points at Ryujin with an up-reaching thumb. "This is the cutest shit, like ever, and you two are texting like actual lovers instead of two, apparently rando-stranger fuck buddies, or whatever."
Yuna - for whatever reason - feels at liberty to throw gasoline on the fire. "Does that mean you think he's going to get jealous if you bring some dude along to Lia's birthday?"
Ryujin sucks in a breath; the fact that he'd never - well.
"Ryujin's in love," Yuna adds for dramatic effect, for the sake of being the worst fucking person. She can be so fucking petty. It's a side of her no one ever sees, because she's just so sweet all the time. Like right now, she's doing that smile-smirk thing that gets Chaeryeong giggling against her hand and then coughing into it a second later.
"Jesus christ," Ryujin starts gathering her jacket and purse. "He's- not- this is- God, I'm done." She slips her shoulder under the strap. "Thanks for listening to me sound like a teenager."
"Isn't that just normal for you," Yuna quips back, pulling at her straw until there's only air rushing through the bend of it. "Where are you going?"
"I can't stay here," Ryujin says as if it's obvious, as well as her point, the argument she's trying to make. "Besides, Yeji is gonna want me to get my dress and shit all sorted out."
"Don't fall in love with one of the robot voices at the cross-walk on your way home, or anything!" Yuna laughs out, giving a flippant wave goodbye.
Ryujin lets her eyes roll because sometimes, she hates her friends.
-
It still throws you for a loop whenever Ryujin pings your phone with a text that says something like:
have you jerked yourself off to exhaustion or is there one more in you for someone like me?
Or,
my roommate is getting pounded through the springs of her mattress, wanna see if you can hear it?
Or,
are you free? I really fucking need to cum. bad.
Each text is something you tuck into yourself. Save and mark and spend all your time in those long-form responses imagining how her face looked when her brain typed out the words for you. You wonder if she's sighing through her fingers or hiding her lips behind a pillow while the heat coils in the pits of her hips.
As time goes by, Ryujin slips a little more. From one text about whatever book or series she was rereading last and another about the sadism of politicians and how people are more likely to agree with what they've heard someone else say than the facts of a given subject, to texts with a few scattered thoughts to strings of sexting that has you cumming into the palm of your hand and through your sheets and in the middle of a dream in which there's no clothes and a pretty fucking filthy proposition.
"How have you been lately," you decide, and consider, briefly, the very strong likelihood this call is gonna send her right through the goddamn roof.
When Ryujin eventually finds herself able to get out: "fine," there's a tell-tale pause, then an even longer pause, that implies she'd definitely rather say anything else. Then she kind of stutters a, "pretty good. Not too bad. All that stuff, I suppose."
And not to say any part of this has felt like routine. Both of you breathing into the end of a telephone and letting your eyes clench tight while you cum all over yourself - imagining everything she told you she wanted you to do to her, how it'd all go: "fucking with my arms grappled behind my back," she'd hum, "head pushed into the bedsheets, you're smothering me, ah- I'd let you cum wherever the fuck you like, but please-" or maybe a bit simpler: "so my thighs are straddling your face?" is about the gist.
A second goes by, another, a third.
"Hang on," you end up having to tell her sometimes, "I need a fucking towel-"
"You really are, huh, jerking off with me- I get you that hot, is what you're telling me? Or is just too much imagining how you'd fuck your way right into my guts through my pretty little pussy? Ah, jesus," the cadence of her voice climbs high before ending up back where it belongs, "Jesus, fuck."
"Can you imagine," is how it'd start, "how good it'd feel? My pussy, or- anywhere, everywhere. I think you'd ruin me for anyone else - you- with how, god-"
You can hear Ryujin shift on the sheets, licking at her bottom lip. Silently cumming. Cumming for you.
"Okay."
"Okay what," Ryujin quietly says back.
The gears turning.
You press your hand into the side of your neck. "Fuck me. Now, in a second. Tell me the last fucking thing in the world you want me to be or do and-"
"Wait."
There's this half-breath. This hmm that almost trips off Ryujin's tongue. Her eyes squinting open to a new thought. You think she's about to be sly. About to surprise you with an offhand fuck yes I'd ride that face like a bus seat; that she might come back with, yes I'll put you right in the middle of the best part of me, god you'll love it, and I promise not to make you cum if you're nice enough not to let your hands wander. But.
It's funny how things are -
"I have a confession," she says, matter-of-factly.
That's not entirely unusual. You've had more of those come through your line in a year than a confessional grate might get in a lifetime. So it doesn't sound like something special to you; Ryujin and you are in this candid don't-ask-don't-tell in regards to payments and the exchange of goods and services, but here you are, still using lines and bits. Practiced.
"In the name of the father, and of the son, and-"
"Funny." Ryujin gets the hint to backtrack. "Uhm, I mean. Remember the roommate I was telling you about?"
You hum a, "maybe."
"Uh," and now the hushed voice from her throat sounds distant, suddenly out of the scope of the receiver, "can I be totally, honestly- just really, extremely honest here, are you- or?"
You stop thinking about the ebbs and flows of her voice, how it dips down then arches up a little. Because now her voice has become something that is nervous, bordering on uneasy. So you stop, take stock and hold on. You weren't expecting a voice of worry or tension, or not at least while she wasn't thrown back into her bed and rubbing furiously at the ache between her legs.
"Yeah, of course," you offer her up.
"This is so embarrassing," she's saying, and some part of you feels ready to sink - you haven't the faintest idea for what, but there is something. Your chest clenches.
You can't help the worry and reply: "Okay, um. I mean- yeah. Me too, I can admit I feel a bit- and you can, y'know, be a little-"
"I'm not straight," she says finally, with a little quiver of her voice right at the tail end.
A blink comes, another - there's nothing coming out of you and you have no idea why that should be at all difficult, so the silence grows long. A new sort of awkward; the kind that you find out isn't just the rush of cum cooling in a pair of sweat-damp underwear. No - this is embarrassment, the kind that taints you.
"What?" You exhale a strained laugh, almost too-bright. "Are you- is this some sort of-?"
"Nope, no, this is crazy, sorry." She laughs. "Sorry."
"You certainly had me fooled." You sit up straighter in your bed, resting elbows on your knees. The moon is filtering through the windowsill and bathing the room in blue - casting light all the wrong ways. Making your own heart beat just a little too fast. "Fuck, um. Can I ask a personal question?"
"Sure." Her voice sounds uncharacteristically soft.
"What are you into?" and you as soon as you ask, you're laughing - because you've heard Ryujin wax lyrical for weeks, pontificate about every manner and way she'd take a cock between her hands, lips, fingers. Every. Single. Place, she wants one in - and now you can't believe this is what you went with: "I mean, like girls?"
"It's probably safe to assume I have some, y'know- degree of- yeah."
You chuckle a bit. The stiffness in your shoulders settling out.
"I've been in love, I realize - boy, with my roommate - for a while."
It's said with a sad laugh - as if this were a little shameful. Some deep, dark secret no one could ever be privy to; some stain on her soul that might wash out only after one final scrubbing with dish detergent and the cruelest bristles. A thing that keeps her up at night -
“Not the roommate, by the way, who we listen to get fucking railed like she’s on-demand pornography every weekend. Just to be clear."
"Good, jesus, that'd be fucking something."
Ryujin sounds more cheerful when her voice comes back through the line, "right?"
You wipe the perspiration of your top lip. You laugh nervously at this girl admitting to being in love over the phone - a stranger, truly, in all ways - to some fucked up audio-fetish sex line personality. And now - the fuck's wrong with you?
"Are you mad?" she asks, and some part of you is wrung. A small string of tension twisting so hard inside your gut, you're losing touch.
"No," you let her know. "No, not at all."
And that is honest. This is honest. There's this itching little scratch all over the insides of your skin that seems intent on driving a fucking wedge. Right at the center of your chest, tearing you apart. It feels as you've lost - not an object, not a material. Not an idea, nor a concept - but a feeling, that for once, was distinctly, overwhelmingly yours, without your wanting, or permission, or comprehension.
Ryujin sighs, this elongated relief coming in. She sinks back against the headboard.
She tells you everything. How Yeji smiles, and it's like the whole fucking room has gone up in lights, just from her and her alone. How there is nothing that she'd rather spend all her days around. She talks and you sit there, silent and listening. She talks about her. Her name and everything Yeji does and everything she wants.
The more you listen, you realize it's all real; she's not confused, or mistaken, or out to play a game or convince herself of something she believes is inherently untrue. She's not frustrated, or longing. She doesn't have this stomach-rolling pit of anxiety digging a cavern at her center because she just can't go through the rest of her life, living a life like everyone else. Not ever.
Because, all you really notice is-
She loves Yeji. The quiet kind. And she's sitting there, legs curled under her ass, crying. Not sad, or frightened, or wounded, just this beautiful sort of awed: it's the kind that only someone who is too inexperienced at crying should have. Where you just-
Look away.
"I'm not taking my phone into the bath with me," is the last thing she says to you, tears flooding out in her last couple words, before you can only offer her a meek: "anytime, Ryujin, I'm here."
-
(Four, five weeks go by in the blink of an eye. A month where you figure it's best to let her text or call or make it clear she wants your voice.
She never does.)
-
Lia is taking her sweet time to apply concealer over the cut Ryujin earned herself trying to get a stupid thing off a shelf - that's how low and unreasonable her tolerance for anything mildly inconvenient is.
"That fucking hurts," Ryujin tells her, wincing.
Lia ignores her.
She keeps on dabbing at the spot on her temple with the makeup brush until there isn't any trace of bruising, or where the jagged scar of a cut ends and skin begins, not anymore. At this point, she has gotten better, has developed a kind of surgeon's eye: zeroing in and unblinking, until every inch of damage is looking like Ryujin did when she was brought into this world -
(which is not perfect, but what it ought to look like, all things considered.)
Lia holds her hands in place on either side of Ryujin's head. "Stay."
It takes less than five minutes, and during those, Yuna just offers from around the bathroom door, "Ryujin, sweetheart, you’re looking hot tonight."
There's nothing more Ryujin wants to do than set the girl straight - the girl can't not keep a chirp to herself, for once in her fucking life. Because this flimsy slip of a dress around her middle feels too tight, the air choked out of her lungs if she shifts her weight onto the wrong foot. The hem rides way too fucking high up her thighs. So, if anyone didn't want a good long look at her ass tonight, they better come up with a plan B if she has to so much as approach a staircase.
"Have I ever not," she bites.
Yuna snorts.
And luckily for Ryujin, Lia feels the same way:
"Yuna, would it kill you to find something productive to do with your time?"
Yuna opens her mouth like she has something to say (she usually does) before retreating further away, the edge of her hair disappearing around the doorway. Then Ryujin's grinning - eyes taking in how Lia glowers a bit back, silently judging the stupidity in Ryujin's expression and also, admiring how good the girl looks. "Not bad, though, really."
Lia tells her with an underhanded wave of the brush and a wink: "historically, you do always get laid on my birthday, remember?"
Ryujin jerks a little, and the scar above her eye throbs into Lia's thumb. "Thanks?"
-
The party is miserable, but it's not Lia's fault. It's not really Yeji's fault either. They tried, that's really all she can say for them - her and her permanent-plus-one whose face Ryujin wants to both claw at and kiss until it’s swollen-
What she really can't wrap her mind around, though, is the guy sitting right fucking beside her. The idiot.
"Really, I'm telling you," her date - who is about 3.5 out of five stars at best and not so much handsome or hot as he is 'okay in a pinch' - grins up at her with the smarmiest of smiles, "if you'd just have taken me up on dinner, I would've spent all our time talking about you. We’d figure out how to enjoy ourselves."
"Likely story."
This fuckwad has the absolute goddamn gall to look wounded when his arm starts circling its way around the space where her dress is suffocating her at the waist, and Ryujin starts to shimmy her way out of hot water - again. God, she thinks, god save me-
"I think," she manages with a stilted grin, "I'm going to make myself useful- drinks, no?"
When he leans forward to grab her hand, it's only so she doesn't leave.
"You're not going to ask for my order?" he presses. The only reason Ryujin hasn't knocked out a couple of his front teeth is because Lia would be the one hearing Yeji whine about cleaning up the fucking mess.
"Just scotch. Neat."
Ryujin's a natural when it comes to smiling fake; it's part of her goddamned job. "Of course," she says, like she's not absolutely loathing him.
"Try the oakier, single-barrel variety, alright," he explains, because what's hotter than a man who's an expert in alcohol and being an insufferable tool? Nothing of course. She hopes he knocks back a few too many and his liver explodes - the painless way out. If god would ever fucking allow it.
She barely manages a half-strangled laugh over the blare of the music before he finally releases her wrist. 
The absolute fucking prick.
-
Here's something Ryujin never thought she'd come to appreciate:
Being alone.
It's just her and the breeze through the open doors of the rooftop garden, which is something every bit as refreshing as it is teeth-chatteringly cold. The wind picks up in gusts and billows, until it starts nipping up the fabric around her knees, like it's any one of the drunk, stumbling guests milling about and looking for a noncommittal lay.
Her left foot slips a step outwards, the uncomfortably tall heel bouncing on the edge of her toe and tapping a tune against the brick. Ryujin slouches on the railing that encapsulates the entire terrace, arms pressed over it, hands folded one-over the other - letting the night sky caress her bare shoulders with its wind-brushed kisses. This, is okay. It's better.
Maybe not ideal, but better.
And all it really took was a few fucking moments where she isn't smiling with pursed, stressed lips; where the pressure in her jaw finally settles out enough for the knot in the back of her teeth to fall loose and for her mouth to actually feel, y'know - good.
Not forced, is what. Not fake, or not real, or whatever-
Ryujin almost fishes her phone from her clutch. Almost. Almost texts to tell you that: this fucking night, like all the others in the past month or two or year, has left her feeling particularly done for, and yeah, no, it isn't helping that she'd take whatever would be the alternative if it meant a face like yours came in handy to lean against, or your shoulder or thigh to use. Like some pillow - that's all.
And you are, like. An option. But not, she sighs out, exactly the right one.
An errant chill shudders through her and down her spine.
"Shin Ryujin."
She'd recognize the tilt of that voice anywhere; even if her ears were pounding and her head filled with static and noise, she'd be able to place Yeji at the end of the world. The truth is easy to see, if only Yeji knew where to look: the corners of Ryujin's eyes screw up tight for a second, an immeasurably long time, in order to not do what they wanted. What it would mean.
She does anyway. "I'd hug you," Ryujin throws behind her with an airy sigh, "but I know where you've been."
Yeji's jaw has set at this point; a twist is still in her lip and she lets out this dry, half-laugh, half-not sound - which is the thing that drives Ryujin a little crazy. Yeji turns her attention from the concrete ground, to Ryujin's profile, her body leaning forward, toes tipping in: "sometimes I wonder if my partner in crime can breathe without saying something incendiary."
"Nope." Ryujin offers no further response or follow-up. Instead, the quiet gush of air makes itself the center of attention and a victim of silence.
"Sorry about-"
"Don't be. Don't give it a second thought." Ryujin stretches, leaning a little over the railing. Her fingers arch before her. Her words sounding the slightest bit cold, "can't win 'em all, right?"
Yeji's eyebrows pull together. "That's not how this was supposed-"
"God, Yeji." Ryujin smiles. Yeji hates that she never knows what that means. "I'm trying, really, I am, but you know - I really, I have tried my best, so can we just lay it to rest?"
Yeji leans over the railing - the fucking moon reflecting in these lustrous pools where her eyes go darker than night - and doesn't say anything for the longest moment. Ryujin chews her tongue, and tries to look as interested in the void of stars and night clouds as possible.
"Fuck's going on with you, lately?"
Ryujin just laughs back.
"Really," and the last word dips in a groan. It's almost childishly tragic how petulantly she insists, "talk to me."
But Ryujin has nothing else to say - no witty, scathing remarks. No deadpan observations or funny asides, not even a morose comment to throw back. There are times and moments and fucking periods of her day where she'd happily chew glass if it meant that Yeji would sit there a second longer, be beside her for a while and smile, just smile at only her, once - for once.
Her only response is the worst kind of lie, this soft: "really nothing."
The moment where it slips and hangs between them, when it lingers the longest -
She could reach out, a hand on her thigh, the small of her back, if she could only reach. And Yeji, she'd listen to her, for once. She'd really, genuinely hear what Ryujin says; like she can see it, plain as day, everything there's in Ryujin's eyes, the thoughts inside her head, written on her goddamn face and across the open night air in neon:
I love you. I'm in love with you, you're too close to me.
The seconds pass. They tick, they stretch and grow thin. Yeji looks at Ryujin expectantly, and Ryujin knows. It is something like being put on the spot and called in. Something like a long, pained whimper caught somewhere in her throat.
She is very much still, unmoving, and feeling nothing at all.
Maybe she can blame the alcohol, the dark, the series of events that saw her hiding away behind a bunch of decorative trees and fighting for breath where the wind blows a little cooler. She can pretend like the stars aren't absent above her, and it doesn't hurt a goddamn bit.
“Yeji, I-” She licks at her lip, ready, willing-
Ryujin grabs at her waist with a hand. Her knuckles white around the black of the railing. And with no further fanfare, she spits it out like venom, with no small measure of shame or guilt or worry for how Yeji will take it - or worse: how she herself would react in the wake of admitting it aloud -
“I love you,” Ryujin says, and it pops out of her mouth as neatly as it had the first thousand times practicing alone in her car.
A blink, and another. The look on Yeji's face is hard and blank, as if she'd understood every syllable, but didn't hear it at all - maybe. Her gaze drops, it trails a path along the long line of Ryujin's pale neck. Of the two ways it could ever go in her head, stuck on loop for as long as she can remember, Ryujin had never considered that Yeji might turn this still and vacant. A sudden feeling, a pull or a grip, starts in the lowest part of Ryujin's guts.
"And not-," she hears her own voice falter, "like-"
Then - it's on the back of Ryujin's head and in her hair, a hand curled at the base of her skull and pulling her head a little downward and her, until their foreheads meet. And before she has a chance to walk it back - to stuff it down where it came from and seal the bottle tight - before she can clench her eyes, shake her head, and spit out anything else like the fact that there was not much that had to change, between them -
Yeji just says plainly: "Yeah, hun. Love you too."
And it's shockingly, the most painful thing - that she just squeezes her hand and pats her back like it's all they could ever be. Without even the wherewithal to reject her properly; to tell her something like "don't ever say that again, god," or "oh shit- Ryujin. Sorry. So, no," or at least to spit back with a scathing laugh: "welcome to the fucking party," like what she always does.
"Yeah." Yeji clears her throat quietly and starts retreating back from the brink - with no apparent aim but to pull away as she draws herself away from the warmth of Ryujin's space, "uh, don't forget to say hello to some of the staffers before they go home, okay?"
Ryujin is left with nothing but the air that follows Yeji's outline; left with her heart sinking into the depths of the night; left trying to make sense of the bitter sting ripping her chest in two.
Left with her own hopelessness - the pining - when Yeji walks away.
To be lonely, to be alone; neither are the same. 
And she hates knowing she is so incredibly both.
-
The worst part is she knows how it looks.
Her pace just on the verge of unsteady, the way her feet come up from the ground: Left foot, the right. The other. Back and back and forth again, faster and then slower and- fuck.
A damsel, severely distressed.
She sits down on the curb. She wants to cry, but even just the way she looks, carrying her heels and struggling with this fucking dress she wishes she'd never bothered with at all - oh, the tabloids would be sure every detail gets pinned under all the wrong lights. A breakdown would only serve to confirm all the right things; it would paint a story for anyone who cares enough to glean from her crestfallen posture and red cheeks that she is yes, a little broken, and that everyone wants to be loved and she's no different - and -
She sucks a breath. This time, when her tears fall, it's a quick, perfunctory action, no show in it.
Her palms rub her face - and she wipes, and wipes, and wipes - smearing at the foundation under her eyes before she takes a long drag of night air. Deep from her core, filling up her lungs until she can't hold anymore. Until it hurts and stings the backs of her ribs - it's enough for a single, fleeting moment. The street is mostly empty; an occasional car will speed by every now and then and it's those few and far between intervals that hurt most, that nearly shatter her: if she can barely do this, alone, how can she possibly be enough for anyone?
Ryujin’s smiling only to hold back her tears, and it fucking stings. She flicks hurriedly past the lock screen of her phone and swipes through the message stream with blurry eyes - there’s a whole host of people that want to know where the fuck she went, if she's safe, why she up and vanished the moment Yeji couldn't keep an eye on her. And well. The girl sighs.
Finds your name in her contacts and puts her thumb right beside it.
It rings exactly three times, and she hates the number. She hates how many things can be associated with that number in those seconds alone.
Four, the pause where you must have had the opportunity, but didn't decide to pick up - just leave it be. Then five - Ryujin is definitely no longer looking forward to any of this.
Six: it stops.
There's this crackle, and through the night -
"Just what brings you here, stranger?"
For an indistinct amount of time, Ryujin drifts in the whirlpool current of that question; it sinks her deeper, into the currents of your voice and the tone and what it's suggesting and demanding from her. All the things your voice is giving her permission to ask of and with and-
Until finally she answers back: "do you ever just, like, wish," a shallow pause for the hitch in her breath, "something, someone was a little more for you- or to- with you-"
The swell of a smile through the receiver; and you can't help your laugh, soft.
"Sometimes," is what you say, "that's just human, don't you think?"
She doesn't understand how something like love or life or desire should be a universal trait.
"Uh, maybe," she shrugs out, and thinks.
"It's pretty normal," you tell her.
Quiet, as if you were right in front of her.
"Look," you start, and you can hear how she sniffs her nose and swipes the pad of her hand right along the side of it, to catch anything stupid and stupid sounding leaking down to her upper lip. "You don't have to. Let's just hang out. Tell me anything."
And for once, she does.
She talks.
-
(The whole story.
From the first time Ryujin realizes the world is never going to be fair - that she shouldn't have to look at herself like she's unlovable because she's seen her friends be held as though they are - or at Yeji like she's completely unattainable or somehow, unlovable, and that someone as amazing as Yeji should have been loved from the moment she was born.
The rest comes through as fragments: the truth of her career. Yeji.
The balcony, the breeze, the bitter-fucking-disappointment.
And what came of that -
When Ryujin isn't a million and one words per minute, it feels, almost, it feels - she'd swear there was less noise in her own head: this thrumming in her brain has settled out; the walls around her and the echo coming off of them - the booming and pulsing - it's, gone.
Because even though there was an indistinct shape for where she had landed, in the aftermath, and nothing much had changed - all that did. You listen, and that alone makes it so you're both exactly where you’re supposed to be, even if this, tonight - you are unsure, if it will actually fix anything - if anything needs fixing at all.)
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openupforme · 2 months
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ꪖꪻ ꪗꪮꪊ᥅ ꪑꫀ᥅ᥴꪗ - E.W.
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*pics from pinterest, i don’t own these.
[] Pairing : soft!rough!dom!ellie x needy!reader
[] Synopsis : Twice out of the year you both take the [] day off. One of you needs to relieve your stress and [] one of you needs to blow off steam. One out of the [] two of you does all the hard work, while one of you [] is incapable of moving or doing anything at all.
[] Warnings : 18+, MDNI, swearing, teasing, HEAVY SMUT, bondage, HEAVY overstimulation, PRAISING, ellie refers to the reader as baby and angel, dom!ellie, bottom!reader, face fucking (r! receiving), oral sex, strap on fucking {lmk if i missed anything please 🦦}
[] Authors Note : Digital footprint? we don’t know [] them. BUT ANYWAYS, i hope you enjoy. let me [] know if any of you have anything specific you [] might want to read next? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE [] TEACH ME HOW TO DO THE REQUEST THINGY [] FOR THE BIO? oh yeah this is a modern!AU
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The soft pillow that is nestled under your neck turns cold, and your body shivers due to your naked state. Due to how smoldering Boston’s weather is in the summer, the AC unit thats connected to the window adjacent to your bed is blowing at high speed. Even after the sun goes down, your two bedroom apartment sometimes still feels like a sauna if it's not put to use.
The once forgotten chilling air pulls you out of your thoughts, making you shiver again. You slide your leg across the bed to try and locate your blanket, only to remember the words your girlfriend muttered to you thar morning. "I want nothing getting in the way when I'm fucking you as many times as I want later", she said even though she was sleep disoriented.
Your eyes are covered, your hands are tied, your bodies shivering, and Ellie is still nowhere to be found. The green eyed girl whispered dirty things in your ear, fingered you until your toes curled, just to get off the bed with a "You're probably hungry, I'll be back baby". You’re immensely lucky to call her yours, but now it's her fault you’re freezing.
You laid there for what felt like eternity under the blistering air until you hear the bedroom door open. Your head tilts towards the direction of the door. Well where you assume the door is. The soft patter of feet comes closer and you feel the bed sink under your girlfriends weight.
“Hi Angel are you awake?" Ellie says before dragging her finger softly across your jawline.
"I'm awake, but I'm fucking freezing. Can you please turn the air conditioner down?" You say in a small voice.
"Of course I will, it's my fault you're freezing anyway. I also stopped by Salvador's and got your favorite." she stated cutely as yoi waited for her to return to the bed.
The buzzing caused by the AC stops as Ellie resumes her position next to you. Silence engulfs the room and you feel her hand start to softly caress your stomach making you sigh. "I don't want the food to get cold. I'm going to feed you, not like you have another choice anyways," she said as you giggled at her reference to the ropes around your wrists and blindfold over your eyes.
"That's fine baby, I love when you take care of me" You smile and wait for her retrieve the food out of the bag. Soon you felt a styrofoam container being sat on your stomach, and as soon as Ellie opened it you moaned at the smell.
"Baby no more moaning please. For the foods sake, one more of those and I might throw this food and my control out of the window." she said with what you know is a smile on her face, that tone always indicated playfulness. "Open up" she says before the taco is placed in your mouth, and an unintended groan rumbles from your throat.
You hear a whimper come from Ellie who is sitting beside you, as the taco is being taken away from your mouth so you can chew. You hear Ellie begin to woof down her portion of the Taco's, moaning with each bite. While the two of you were eating you could feel her eyes trailing across your naked chest. You could physically feel her eating you alive with just her gaze alone. The thought alone making your legs try to clench together.
After many bites and groans the once chilly room was becoming warm and lust filled. The sexual tension was rising by the second and the thought of being thoroughly fucked for the fifth time today made your legs clench shut. “Already ready for more? Your last orgasm wasn't even an hour ago," Ellie said picking up on your body language.
“You're moaning and I can practically hear your loud filthy thoughts. Might I add that you're teasing me and I don't appreciate it." You sigh out. It's normal for you to get turned on quickly when you’re with your girl, her presence alone made your body want to heat up.
"I didn't mean to tease you, Sal's infamous tacos are just too fucking good. Plus baby, you know all you have to do is ask if you want something. Remember what I told you the other week?" she asked as her hand began to trail down your stomach.
"You've told me many things the other week. Please elabora-" you were cut short when her slender fingers began to rub your clit, making your back arch off of the bed.
"I told you that I am yours. Anything you wish is my command, because you are my everything. I also said that I love to please you, it's my favorite thing and an honor to have the privilege of worshipping you. You are my drug. You'll get anything you want, as long as I'm able to please you and call you mine." she said before removing her gifts from god from your nerve bundle. Butterflies and a series of whines erupt from your throat at her words and the loss of contact.
"You show me everyday baby, would you mind showing me just how addicted you are?" you say in a breathy tone, already dripping onto your shared black sheets once again.
"Anything for you angel, I was going show you whether you asked or not." The horn dog said moving the empty food carton from my stomach, and tossing it onto our bedside table.
You hear the rustling of clothes, and knew they were being thrown recklessly on the floor of your bedroom. The bed then dips and you feel soft and warm hands spread my thighs gently. Then you hear her soft voice cut through the silent air, "What do you want baby? Whatever it is i'll give it you". you moan at her low tone and start to thrust your hips into the air, becoming impatient due to your turned on state.
"I want you to do what you always do. Make me feel good. Put your tongue in my pussy please” you moan out desperately.
Before you knew it her long slender tongue was deep inside your tight hole. Ellie instantly starts moving her head back and forth, while she kept a strong grip on your thighs. You try to run away due to the pleasure being to immense, but your restraints keep you secure. She temporarily pulls away to sexily whisper to you.
“Why’re you running baby? This is what you wanted yeah? Then stop squirming and let me fuck you with my tongue. I know you want it”
She dives back in and soon sounds start emitting from between your legs that make you want to cover your mouth in embarrassment, but you physically can’t. Wet slurping and Ellie’s moans are booming off of the walls, as she continues to plunge her long muscle inside of you.
You can feel the tongue inside of you curling upwards and moving backwards. You realized Ellie was quite literally swallowing your cum, drinking from you like you held the fountain of youth between your thighs.
“Fuck baby please p-please, stop it feels too good” You say trying but failing to shy away from her quick thrusting tongue.
Ellie comes up for air to quickly say “You know your safe word baby, and unless you use it i’m not fucking stopping. So be quiet and take it like a good girl okay?” The auburn haired girl says before her tongue is once again quickly dragging along your walls. Making white lightning shoot up your spine. The noises coming from your mouth sound downright pornographic. Who can blame you? This is what you wanted right?
You feel her slender fingers glide up your thigh to your stomach and they end up harshly tugging at your nipples. The pain of that mixed with the wet sucking noises your pussy makes as it’s being rammed into you has you beginning to sob. It was too much. She was too much.
Seconds felt like hours. You could do nothing but lay there like a good girl and succumb to her torture. That tongue was relentless and it’s goal was to LITERALLY fuck the life straight from your body.
You could only imagine what Ellie looked like in this moment. Eyes closed in bliss, loose hair sticking to her forehead, while you could feel her whimpers of satisfaction vibrating inside of your walls. The thought alone has you approaching your orgasm with the speed of light.
The blindfold covering your eyes doesn’t help with your sensitivity. As soon as your vision was engulfed in darkness your other senses skyrocketed, and that was before Ellie even started fucking you. Now there’s a flame roaring between your thighs.
Her nose is pressing against your clit with every jerk of her head between your legs. They started to shake under her palms as you cried for mercy. “Good girl, it’s okay good girl” she’d mutter to you every once in a while when she came up for air.
Suddenly she pulls away from your pussy causing you to cry out. You start to wail out and beg for her to let you cum, but your admissions are being ignored.
“Baby calm down it’s okay. I’m just going to grab something, I’ll be right back okay” She whispering softly, to which you respond with a tear filled voice “N-no! Baby please just fuck me, fuck-fuck me please I need you”.
“So needy, behave for me please? Just wait a minute angel, I promise to fill you up again” She said as you felt her weight lift off of the bed, making you sob harder.
You hear the closet door open with a *click* and you instantly quiet for a second. “Hm what happened baby? I thought you wanted me to fill you up” she says with that fucking stupid smirk on her face. You can’t see her but you know it’s etched on her lips.
“E-ellie wait, I don’t know if I can take that right now. I f-feel like i’m going to pass out any second now” You whisper shakily, knowing damn well you want her cock to stretch your tight pussy open.
“You know you can always safe word if you want to. I’d never do something you’re unsure about, but something tells me that your neglected hole wants to squeeze me” Ellie says now on her knees staring down at your pussy from above.
The tip is pressed on your clit, making your back painfully arch as far as it could. A moan so loud it shook the ceiling escaped your mouth. “You want me baby? Beg me” She said repeating the movement making a squeal rush out of your mouth. All Ellie could do was coo at you and laugh at your overstimulation.
“In-Inside please” You beg like a bitch in heat. You try to rut your hips up enough to force the tip to slip inside, which earns you a blistering slap to your thigh. “Stop fucking squirming, ask me properly” Ellie was growing impatient, she wanted nothing more than for you finally beg so she could fuck you into your shared bed.
“Y-your cock, please put it in my pussy. I need y-you so bad so fucking bad. I-I’ll do anything, just PLEASE” you blabber making Ellie look down at you in pity.
“Okay baby, okay I got you.” She whispers thinking that she’s tortured you enough.
After Ellie’s statement you felt the fat head of the silicon toy push inside of you. This caused the loudest whimper yet the leave your tight throat. “Oh fuck well would you look at that, you’re trying to pull me in deeper already.” She mutters through a groan.
You feel the toy slowly gliding along your gummy walls, making it harder to breathe. The thick girth of the toy is causing your pussy to stretch. It’s a big step up from Ellie’s lengthy tongue but it feels deliciously painful. The toy is only half way inside of you now, but that doesn’t stop you from crying out “O-oh god fuck, it’s too much” to the girl above you. The toy is sliding in deeper, massaging the nerve endings in your channel perfectly, and all you wish you could do was put your hand on Ellie’s stomach to stop her from going any deeper.
Before the strap on can bottom out within your pussy you feel Ellie drag it out of you slowly. Squelching noises follow due to the vast amount of wetness that surrounds the toy. The sound makes Ellie moan out and then push back in slowly.
You think she’s trying to tease you but deep down Ellie just doesn’t want to hurt you. She’s trying to allow your pussy to accommodate to the large size. As much as she’d like to rip you in half, she still feels like being gentle is needed right now. Especially because of how sensitive she knows you are right now.
You cant stop the moans from pouring out of you at her slow pace, in and out in and out. It’s that mouthwatering torture you crave but fuck you wish she’d go faster.
You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice that the toy was now snug against your sensitive cervix. You yelp out loudly like a dog that just got it’s paw stepped on, because fuck it’s big. The toy she picked out of your combined collection makes few appearances. But when it does, you know you’re going to end up fucked out and gasping for air.
“Oh angel it’s okay, I know you can handle it. You’ll tell me if you can’t won’t you? Yeah I know you will. I just want you to give me one more okay? Just one more.” Ellie says wanting to coax a 6th orgasm out of your tired pussy.
Ellie on the other hand is so drunk off the sight of your puffy pussy lips stretching to accommodate her length that her mouth bobs open and closed like a gaping fish out of water. This is what she lives for. This is what keeps the breath in her lungs. Being able to make you feel the pleasure you deserve.
Ellie’s waited too long, and before you know it she’s pistoning inside your pussy with immense speed. All you can do is cry and try to squirm away, but still to no avail the ropes remind you that you can’t. Gut wrenching sobs burst past your lips as your tears soak the material of the thin mask. Ellie notices this, and she halts her movements while the toy is pushed as deep as it can go inside of you. She leans forward and gently pulls the soaking material away from your eyes.
“Agh there you are angel, you know the deal. Keep your eyes on me or I swear on all I love that I’ll stop. Do you understand me?” She says menacingly. You wouldn’t dare disobey her. But before you can even respond that you “understand” she’s already moving her hips back and forth.
The look on Ellie’s face right now can only be described as ravenous. You made the mistake of catching her eyes with yours, and she can see the submission pouring out of your irises. She bites her lip, grips your thighs, and starts fucking into you like it’s the last time she’ll be able to. You didn’t even think it was possible for her to move faster but she managed to.
Your eyes cross towards your nose at the newfound pace. This makes Ellie let out a cute giggle, you look so fucking pathetic. The toy mixed with the look of hunger on Ellie’s face has you back on the edge again.
The long cock is reaching so far inside of you that you can feel it nudging against your stomach. You can physically see your stomach bulging up and down from each of her harsh thrusts.
You cant fucking take it anymore. Ellie’s groans, the pleasure, the sight of your stomach popping up and down has you ready to explode. But Ellie knows that.
“I know you want to cum, beg me angel, or I’ll stop right now” That threat has you panicking.
“P-please can I come? Please m-make me come. I need it, please fuck I-I need it. Just want to come for you, be your good girl.” you cry out and babble in despair.
“Okay okay, shhhh I got you, I got you. Let go for me. You did so good” Ellie says lifting a purple remote. She then presses down and you hear a click. Oh fuck.
As soon as her finger lifted off of the device intense vibrations are being soaked up by your walls. The pleasurable hum touches that spot deep inside of you. You’re a goner.
The orgasm you finally get the chance to experience takes you out of your fucking body. Screams and wails flood out of your mouth. At this point your neighbors probably think you’re being murdered. But the thought doesn’t stop the white creamy liquid that’s shooting out of your hole. Not only does it cover the whole of Ellie’s thighs and stomach but is also soaks the bed under your ass too.
Ellie simply just stares at you in awe, still buried to the hilt letting the vibrations work you through the comedown. The aftershocks of your intense orgasm still have you shaking, they still have you crying, and fuck it won’t stop.
“O-out please, it’s too much. I’m so f-fucking sensitive. Ellie please” you cry out still feeling little tears slide down your cheeks.
Ellie finally breaks from her trance and clicks the button causing the sensation to finally stop. She slowly slides out of you making you whine at the loss, but cry out from joy. You pussy is completely wrecked and all you want is that sweet aftercare.
Ellie unstraps the toy and gives you a hasty but soft “Ill be right back, okay?” And after hearing the running water shut off she emerges with a wash cloth. The warm cotton glides against your thighs, and moves gently along your outer lips. She straightens her back and stands back up.
“What do you say pretty?” Ellie says her voice filled with love. But you’re still too stuck in a trace to answer. The crying has subsided but you’re still shaking. So she asks you again.
“What do you say? Don’t test my fucking patience.” Ellie now speaks with that dominant tone you adore.
“Th-thank you, fuck thank you” You whimper out pathetically, trying to think of how she could possibly assume you’re in any position to form words right now.
“Thank you for what angel?” The soft tilt to her voice returns.
“For making me cum, for calling me your good girl.” You say calming down slowly as each second passes by.
“Good girl, you did so good. I’m so proud of you. Thank you for letting me please you. I’m going to untie you now okay?” Ellie says already making her way towards the binds around your left wrist.
One by one each knot comes undone, and after each one you’re slipping closer and closer to sleep. Before your brain that’s been turned to mush can comprehend what’s happening you’re pulled onto Ellie’s strong chest.
The last thing you say to Ellie before you fall asleep is the soft admission of “You had your fun today, but next time it’s you that’s going to be in that position.”
Ending AN: So yeah that happened.
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stevesbipanic · 2 months
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For the lovely @withacapitalp happy birthday Liam hope you have the best day today!!!!
Steve had been pacing around the apartment all morning. Well, pacing wasn't really the right word, Eddie would describe it more like having the same zoomies their cat Toothpaste has at 3am.
You see today was–"It's Robin Day, Eds!" As his lovely boyfriend had practically screamed in his ear at 5am. "And it will still be Robin day when you return from your job at a normal waking hour, babe."
Eddie had hoped the jog would've gotten some of the energy out of Steve's system but he seemed more hyper on his return, at least he'd brought Eddie coffee.
"Love, Robin isn't even on the plane yet."
"I know, but it's today, Eds."
Steve looked so bright it made all of Eddie's sleepiness fade away. It had been hard, living away from Robin. They'd all shared an apartment when she went away for college but by the time she got a job in New York, Steve and Eddie were not only dating finally but settled into Chicago life.
They spoke every day of course, Robin and Steve never missed a nightly catch up of the day's events, Eddie didn't even know what they'd talk about once they were in the same state again. Eddie knew Robin would always be Steve's number one and he loved that about him.
There was one other thing about today though. "Sweetheart, you know it's not just Robin Day, right?"
Steve looked confused at his boyfriend, kind of like the way a puppy looks when you move his toy.
"What could be more important about today than that."
Eddie began humming a specific tune wrapping his arms around Steve's waist. "Oh, right, my birthday, 24 isn't exactly a big deal Eds," Steve said rolling his eyes.
Eddie laughed, "Your birthday is the reason Robin's coming, sunshine, plus after the number of times we've both almost died I think every birthday is a big deal."
Steve nodded his head and returned the embrace Eddie had been giving him, "True, you think you're gonna have a quarter life crisis in August, Mr 25?"
Eddie grinned, "Oh yeah, I think imma buy a guitar and start a band." Steve laughed, while Corroded Coffin never got famous they got relatively well known in the local scene, Tuesdays were now a regular gig at The Squire downtown.
"Four hours til she lands," Steve said kissing Eddie's cheek and running upstairs to make sure the guest room was ready for the tenth time. "Still not on the plane yet!" Eddie called up laughing.
Four and a half hours later their loving room was filled with laughter and joy once more. "And then the guy asked the flight attendant for another ginger ale and Steve this man was looking green and you know how I don't deal with sick people well I'm surprised I survived the flight at all," Robin rambled filling Steve in on her flight from hell.
"Honestly, you should just move back here, save yourself the flight," Steve joked. Robin glanced at Eddie, one little birthday surprise they hadn't told Steve yet.
"Actually, my contract is ending in two weeks, and um, they offered to extend it at...their Chicago office."
Steve was frozen, if Eddie didn't know better he'd think Vecna had returned from the dead to finish them off after all these years. Then the screaming started.
"YOU'RE MOVING BACK TO CHICAGO!"
"I'M MOVING BACK TO CHICAGO!"
Pretty soon everyday would be Robin Day and with his boy looking that happy Eddie wouldn't want it any other way.
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samandcolbyownme · 2 months
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Credit to the edit creator on TikTok for the Johnnie pictures!
This one shot is going to have reader being choked with a chain necklace, PLEASE DONT READ IF YOURE UNCOMFORTABLE!
Summary: anon request - "begging anyone that will listen to make sumthing based off this necklace bc the way he pulled it is rlly doing something to me"
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, choking will be a big part of this, hair pulling, unprotected sex, creampie, filth
I'm also going to be writing this my own way, so if you've seen the actual video it isn't going to be accurate.
Word count: 2.5k | not edited
TikTok I'm writing for specifically
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
You walk up to the front door of the house, giggling drunkly to yourself as you fish for your keys inside your purse.
You're just getting home from your night out with Tara, so Johnnie expect you to come home at least, somewhat drunk.
You push the door open, seeing the empty scene as you think, he must be streaming.
He was. As you walked back the hall, you heard the faint sound of him strumming his guitar from behind the door.
The closer you get, you can hear him faintly singing. You smile as you rest your head on the door, waiting for him to finish before you gently knock and open the door.
"Uh oh. Look who it is!" He smiles at you and leans his guitar against the desk, "Guy, y/n just got home from being with Tara. Should she come say hi?"
You roll your eyes, giggling as you shake your head. He holds his hand out, "Come hither. They want to say hi."
You sigh, pushing your body off the door frame as you walk over. You lean down, waving into the camera, "Hi guys!"
"Yeah, her outfit does look phenomenal tonight." Johnnie leans back, "She always looks good, to me anyway."
You look at him and stand up, "Thank you." He lays his hands on your hips, pulling you onto his lap, "You're going to finish this stream with me."
"No." You whine lightly with a laugh, "I need a shower."
"You can get one after. Guys. I've been teaching her how to play the guitar." Johnnie smiles and you look at the screen, "No. I'm not going to embarrass myself like that." You laugh, "No way!"
Johnnie lays his hand on your leg, weaving his fingers through the openings in your fishnet stockings, "Don't worry. I'll get her to open up and play for you."
You roll your eyes, moving to snake your arm around his neck, "Maybe." You smile down at him, "I'm going to get a water, do you want anything?"
He shakes his head, letting you stand up before he places his guitar back onto his lap. You leave, quickly making your way back after going to the fridge.
You slip in, sitting on the chair off to the side and in your still, slightly drunk state, Johnnie tugging on the metal chain around his neck starts to get your mind racing with such dirty thoughts.
You bite down on the inside of your lip, adjusting how you're sitting. Johnnie glances over at you, pulling the chain to adjust it and your eyes stay fixated on it.
He smirks slightly, looking back to the screen as he leans back, sliding his hand up his arm to push his sleeve up.
He looks so good tonight.
The combination of his hair, makeup, and outfit were all the absolute perfect combination.
You were secretly hoping his stream would be done soon, you didn't know how much longer you could take without his hands on your body.
"I'll play a snippet from my new song then I think I'm going to get off for tonight."
His words caused your excitement to grow.
You couldn't wait much longer for him to finally fulfill those words.
You sat there, elbow digging into the spot above your knee as your hand rests under your chin. Your eyes stay fixated on him and he knows you're watching.
He smirks at you, pushing up his sleeves as his guitar rests in his lap. Your lip pulls between your teeth as your head slightly tilts to the side.
You need him. Bad.
After a little bit more of listening to Johnnie sing, he finally ends the live and turns to you as he sets his guitar down.
"Get over here."
His words have you up on your feet with in a second after rolling off of his tongue. You walk over, straddling his lap and running your hands over the sides of his neck.
His hands slide over your hips and you whimper out a quiet, "Need you."
"I know." He smirks, "I could tell since you came home." He bites down on his lip ring and nods towards the door, "Come on."
You get up, taking his hand as he leads you to his room. He pulls you in front of him, hands on your waist as he guides you backwards into the room.
He reaches back, pushing the door shut before laying his hand on your neck, "You look so good." He leans in, connecting his lips to yours.
"I can say the same about you." You gently bite his lip, pulling it as you tilt your head back. A quiet gasp leaves his throat and his hand squeezes your hip, "Get these clothes off. Now."
You step back, turning to face him as he walks over to the bed. You bend down, unzipping your black boots so you can stand up and kick them off.
Your hands move to your belt, undoing it as your eyes fixate on the metal change wrapped around Johnnie's thumb, "That outfit is crazy hot."
You smile at his words, "I figured you'd like it." You throw your belt on the floor and slip your fingers into the hem of your red, lace crop bralette top.
Johnnie watches as you lift it up over your head, shaking your hair slightly as you toss it to the ground with your boots.
You lock eyes with Johnnie as you push your skirt down, leaving you in nothing but your black lace panties.
He holds his hands out, indicating he wants you to come to him, and you comply. You walk over to him, straddling his lap again. His hand slips down between your thighs and he smirks, "What's got you this turned on, sweetheart?"
"You want me to be honest?" You smirk slightly as Johnnie nods, "Always, baby."
Your hand drags up his chest, tangling the metal chain around your finger, "This. How fucking hot you looked while playing with it."
He licks his lips, "What do you want me to do with it?" He tilts his head, "Actually. Don't tell me, I'll just.." he trails off, lifting it up over his head and placing it around your neck.
His eyes scan over the chain hanging down between your boobs, "mm. I see what you mean." He smirks and grabs the chain, pulling you in to kiss him.
The kiss quickly turns heated, grinding down on him, moaning out as he bites down on your lip.
"P-please." You whimper out, desperate for his cock at this point, "Johnnie.”
He leans back, brushing hair from your face, "Hands and knees baby." You move off of him, crawling up the bed to hold your weight up with your hands pressed firmly into the bed.
You can hear Johnnie get undressed, but your mind is racing about one thing.
That chain tightening around your neck.
The bed dips down behind you and Johnnie slides your panties down, letting them drop to your knees, causing your heart rate to pick up.
It picks up drastically, when he slides a hand up your back and moves it under your hair to grab the chain.
He slowly and teasingly pulls it back, dragging it over your shoulders until it's pulled tight against your neck.
You gulp with excitement, knowing why Johnnie’s necklace was around your neck was exhilarating.
There’s just enough pressure, you can still breathe normal, but you can tell with one yank, your air supply will be cut well in half.
“Bring your ass up, baby.” Johnnie lays a hand on your hip and you drop your shoulders to the bed, the chain pulling tighter the further you move down towards the bed.
“You are so fucking sexy.” Johnnie says lowly as he admires the position you’re in. He grabs his cock, stroking it a few times before tapping the head of it against your wet slit.
You bite your lip, gripping the blanket below you as you feel him slowly push his cock into you.
You let out a moan, pushing your hips back to gain more of him.
He pulls the chain, causing it to grow tighter.
“Fuuuck.” He breathes out, fingers digging into your skin harder as he slides in more, “Shit.” You whimper at both the feeling of his cock and the chain tightening around your neck.
He wraps the chain around his hand, “Sit up a little for me.”
You rise up, holding your self up with your forearms on the bed. You tilt your head back and Johnnie leans forward to look down at you.
Your eyes lock with his, a strangled moan leaving your lips as he slowly pulls his cock out and slowly slides back in.
He bites his lip, watching your face twist with pleasure, “Does that feel good?”
You nod as best as you can, “Mm.”
“Is this what you wanted?” He asks and you open your eyes, whimpering out a small, “Y-yes.”
He smirks, leaning back, chain still wrapped around his hand, “I wanted to do this before you left, that little outfit you had on, fuck. It was so fucking sexy.”
He keeps the chain tight against your neck as he picks up his thrusts. It’s soon a punishing pace, the chain tightening more and more with each time his body connects with yours.
You try to moan, but you can’t.
Strangled noises leave your lips at random times.
Between the chain and Johnnie’s thrusts bringing you closer and closer to orgasm, your vision starts to go spotty.
You reach up, scratching at the chain and Jonnie loosens it. You take a deep breath as he leans forward, “You good?”
You nod, looking up at him weakly with a smile, “Uh huh. Keep going.”
He smirks, leaning back to resume his thrusts. He waits to tighten the chain, “I wanna hear ya.”
You let out a loud moan, pushing your hips back to meet his, “F-fuck.” You whine, “S-so close.” He lets go of the chain, gripping your hips to pull you back to him, slamming your body into his, “Shit.”
You drop your head down, moaning loudly as you clench around his cock, pulling the blankets as you finally hit that point.
“that’s it, baby.” Johnnie groans, “feels so good.”
Johnnie continues to fuck you, guiding you through your high before pulling out and rolling you over. Your eyes meet his as he leans down, grabbing the chain and wrapping it around his hand.
He pins it down beside your head, it tight against your neck.
He groans as he slips back into you, bringing your one leg up. His fingers dig into the outside of your thigh.
You whimper, eyes rolling back as his thrusts resume to being punishing. He leans down, crashing his lips onto yours.
You reach up, tangling your fingers into his hair, pulling, which earns a groan from him.
You loved hearing him, too.
“You’re so fucking good to me.” He whispers against your lips, “So fucking good.”
Your lips part as you watch him lean back, the chain loosening just enough for your moans to come out full volume.
He smirks, biting onto his lip as he closes his eyes. He tilts his head back, thrusts growing sloppy, “Fuck. Fuck.” He leans back down, tightening the chain once again as he rails into you.
The chain dulls your screamed moans as you drag your nails down his back. He groans loudly, “Fuckin hell.”
He dips his head down, lips attaching to yours as he pushes in, his cock twitching to coat your walls white.
He keeps his lips on yours, moving them in a slow rhythm with yours as he lets go of the chain. You take a deep breath as he moves to plant kisses on your cheek.
“You sure you’re okay?” He whispers as he brushes his finger over your neck. You turn your head to face him, “I’m good, baby.”
He picks your lips, sitting up to pull out and stand up.
He grabs his shirt and wipes off your thighs, “I really hope that wasn’t too hard.” He glances up at you as you sit up and you shrug, “Aw well.”
You laugh slightly which causes him to laugh, “I can’t believe you talked me into that.”
“I didn’t talk you into anything.” You stand up, “But I will talk you into going for a shower with me.”
“If I ever say no to that, use that chain and choke me out until I’m dead.” He walks over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he leads you to the bathroom.
The next morning, you wake up, sitting up to stretch as you look over at Johnnie, who’s still sleeping.
He was up late last night editing a video, so you decided to let him sleep in. You go out and start to make some breakfast before the curiosity of whether or not the chain left a mark gets the best of you.
You set down your mug and make your way to the bathroom. You flick on the light and as soon as your eyes meet your neck in the mirror, they grow wide and your mouth drops open.
“Oh fuck.” You cover your mouth, leaning in to drag your fingers down over the chain like bruise that circles around your neck, “Fuck.”
You laugh slightly, shaking your head. You look towards the open doorway as you hear Johnnie’s door open, “y/n.”
“Bathroom, babe.” You call out, leaning against the counter to wait for him. He walks around the corner, hand ruffling his hair, “What are ya doing?”
You bite your lip, “Um. I was just-“
“Holy fuck!” Johnnie drops his hands and move towards you, placing them on the sides of your neck.
His thumbs trace over the mark, “What the fuck.” He looks up at you and you can’t help but laugh, “I know. That’s why I came in here.”
Johnnie laughs in shock, “Jesus Christ.”
“It could be worse.” You shrug and Johnnie looks at you. You lean in, “I liked it. I promise. I’ll just cover it up with necklaces and stuff. No worries.”
“You are one freaky slut, you know that?” Johnnie slides his hands down to your hips and you pull him closer to you, “Those sound like fighting words.”
“Maybe they are.” He raises his brows and tilts his head, “what do ya say? Hmm. Wanna go a few rounds?”
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Thank you guys for being patient and thank you for reading! I truly appreciate and love you all so much! I hope you enjoyed this! 🖤
Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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Hi, I saw a note that you are accepting requests and if you aren’t totally ignore this
But could you write something with Theo nott, where she speaks a different language and her English isn’t perfect so she makes a mistake instead of saying she’s going to meet someone she says she’s going on a date and he gets all upset and jealous, maybe angst to fluff or something <3 I think it would be cute
- Thanks 🪐🪐
It's A Date (Theodore Nott x F!Reader)
warning- she/her pronouns, google translated french, i changed it a little from the request but it's basically the same.
a/n- I am in a very Theo Nott mood if you can't tell.
word count- 721
“I don’t know, I just really like her,” Theo says, his cheeks slightly rosy due to Pansy’s prying.
“Oh come on! There’s got to be something specific you like about her,” Pansy says, giggling at the tall boy’s embarrassed state, “Just give me three things you like!”
“I like her french accent, I guess,” He answers after a small pause, “She’s also pretty and so sweet. I’ve got no Idea how she was ever sorted into Slytherin.”
“I think you should ask her out. She would definitely say yes, you’re an absolute catch!” Pansy says, getting more excited about Theodores crush.
“I’ll think about it. Let’s get going for breakfast,” He answers, grabbing his satchel and walking out of the common room.
Not soon after the two get settled down at the Slytherin table, the lovely smell of your vanilla perfume fills Theo’s nose. “Bonjour Theo!”
“Good morning,” He replies, giving you a small smile and scooting over to give you some room.
“How has your morning been?” You ask, he blushes slightly at your strong accent. His Italian accent was never that strong, he only ever spoke Italian around his mom and her family. You however spoke it all the time, you and Draco had a plethora of conversations in French.
“Better now that you’re here,” after a small pause he gains a slight amount of confidence, “I was wondering if maybe-”
“Hi, (Y/n),” a boy from Ravenclaw says, cutting off Theodore before continuing, “Would you want to accompany me to our next Hogsmead weekend?”
“Yes,” You say with a smile, “It’s a date!” You didn’t really mean that it was a date at all, it was simply just an expression you’d heard. However it broke all of Theos confidence he previously had.
“De toute façon, what were you saying Theo?” You ask, turning back to the pretty boy with hopeful eyes. Unknown to anyone, you also fancied Theo.
“I was um- just wondering if you got the paper on alhistoy?” Theo says, ending his sentence with a large gulp of orange juice.
Your smile deflates a little bit, “Oh, yeah I did.” You pull out your paper and hand it to him. Theo had already gotten the paper finished, so he just silently stared at the prettily written page for a few seconds before handing it back.
Theodore didn’t talk to you very much for the next few days, he spent a majority of his time alone talking to Pansy about his heartbreak.
Theo didn’t plan on talking to you until after your trip with the boy, and even then he wanted to wait a while.
“Hé! How have you been Theo? I’ve missed you!” You say, finally getting to see him.
“How was your date?” He asks, angry, not looking at you.
“I didn’t go on a date?” You reply, puzzled.
“Did you end up not going then?” He asks again, looking up at you.
“I went to hang out with a friend, but I didn’t see it as a date,” You answer, taken aback.
“You didn’t?” He asks, standing up and walking towards you.
“Non, we’re just friends,” You answer with a smile, now looking up at the boy.
“But you said it was a date,” He says, with a flat face.
“Isn’t that just an expression you English people use?” You reply, laughing slightly at the boy.
“Okay,” He replies, slowly.
“Are you okay Teddy?” You ask, stepping closer to him.
“Yeah,” He says, absentmindedly, “I think I’m in love with you.”
“What?” You reply, looking at him with wide eyes.
“Teddy, are you sure?” You ask, sucking in a breath, waiting for his response.
“I was a little heartbroken when you said it was a date,” He breathes, pulling you into a hug, “Now I would like to do what I was too scared to do. Would you like to go on a date with me?” He asks after pulling away from the hug slightly.
“I would more than love to go on a date with you, Teddy,” You say, giving him a smile and pulling him back into a hug, smiling even wider when you feel him smile into your neck.
“It’s a date then? For real this time?” He says, muffled by your neck.
“Obviously,” You say, laughing at his lame joke.
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rapunzelbro · 3 months
Text
Imagine Lucifer and Adam fighting over you
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I would like to start off by saying sorry in advance. I have no clue about religion, if purgatory is the right term or if I’m understanding this correctly. This was what term showed when I asked in between hell and heaven. If I am not accurate please please correct me. Request: would u do a adam x reader x lucifer where basically there fighting over the reader to try and win them over to be in hell or heaven
Master list Tag request
When you died you never thought you’d end up in fucking purgatory of all things
You did you not want to deal with any of that shit? You just died and now this?
You had the option to follow through on correcting your small sins you had left, or honestly say fuck it and go live your life in hell.
You couldn’t give one less of a fuck but two specific people did and it confused the fuck out of you
Lucifer and Adam
Adam was the first to meet you since you were technically one step in the door but also at the same time not. You appeared at his doorstep practically
He explained a lot of what happened, and why you couldn’t exactly stay in heaven or hell.
He shared the remaining sins that remained for you, and how to get them forgiven,
Bud actually was willing to help someone for once?
Wtf did you do get him to help someone who is not himself? Holy shit
You only had a 4 or so left by the time you found the Hazbin hotel..
Now Lucifer was intrigued by your situation. Not many people got to that state, to his knowledge
He knew a lot about you already to begin with he totally didn’t stalk you and was pissed about the time you spent with Adam
Found out you ended up at the Hazbin hotel, since you had no real space to stay since you could go to heaven if you pleased, but not looked well upon
Charlie told him about the whole situation to try and get his advice on it all since she really didn’t know how to go about it but she desperately wanted to help you
He didn’t want to help you with your final sins though, he wanted you to stay for himself. He would never let his daughter know that.
He spent time with you often encouraging your ass to do stuff that sinners would do but you’re just so stuck on what to do so you often don’t do the things.
Lucifer and you bonded more than you and Adam
Dude just told you constantly about how horrible it sucks down there in hell
Annoyed you even more since he didn’t let you stay in heaven after saying that?
But oh yeah it’s fine because he goes down to see you🥰
What the fuck man
If you ever needed a place to stay Lucifer was always there. Even if you didn’t feel like staying at the hotel
If wanted to talk about the shit you have left to do to get into heaven he will listen
While he didn’t agree with your initial decision to finish your sins, that doesn’t mean he didn’t still care about you regardless of what you end up doing
When you got to your final sin to pass through the gates of heaven, that’s when Lucifer stepped in
“What the actual FUCK are you doing here sinner?”
“Bitch you know why I’m here”
Lucifer and then arguing over your ass while you’re just there chilling like wtf?
“Y/n do you really want to be stuck up there with this douchebag”
“Do you really wanna be with The Most Hated Being in All of Creation!”
Those two screaming at each other while you are just watching the two trying to debate on what you should do
The people of heaven who knew of you, didn’t like you in the slightest because you were never going to be a true angel in their eyes
The people in Hell couldn’t give one less fuck about your situation. You had so many friends down there who you considered practically family now.
Both giving you the most desperate looks both wanting you to go with them
“Lucifer.. I’m going with you”
The second you say that your appearance goes from the weird hybrid you were stuck in to being a full blown demon.
Adam is fucking crushed and pissed sending you two the fuck out insantly
Lucifer is so happy
“Wow you must be a mega turnoff since even all girls like what have to offer more than you~”
Gladly takes you back to his place, he has yet to explain to Charlie that you gave up on redemption.
He doesn’t want to break it to her but knows he will have to soon
But for now you picked him over that bitch and that’s honestly worth it.
Lucifer/All Taglist: @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @katshyperfixations
@aphestina @satansmanager @irethepotato @mixplara
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astrophileous · 6 months
Note
In honor of Hotch’s birthday (November 2nd), can I please request a NSFW scenario where he gets spoiled rotten by his girlfriend and finds out that she’s a nymphomaniac which she tries to hide because she’s scared of rejection and being ostracized?
IK IK I'm technically late to this but HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BOSS MAN!!! ty sooo much for the request hun and so sorry for the delay ❤️ I did as much research abt nymphomania as I could, and I apologize if I didn't do a good enough job representing the condition. pls feel free to correct me abt anything in the comment section if you want to. oh and I wasn't sure if you specifically wanted for the plot to go from spoiling hotch to him finding out, bcs I kinda switched it the other way around 😭 still hope you'll like it thoo 💞✨️
Warning(s): fem!reader, nymphomania, 18+ content minors dni, fem masturbation, use of sex toys, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (p in v), alcoholic consumption, past relationships trauma
This blurb was written as a part of the "Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K" celebration.
Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist
Aaron was adamant that you had been hiding something from him.
The signs started out small. They always did. In this case, Aaron first noted it during one of the rare nights out that the BAU somehow managed to have amidst their ruthless schedule. The booth that the whole team was at could barely fit everyone who showed up that day, and thus, Aaron found you sitting with almost your entire body pressing against his side. He didn't mind the tight fit one bit. In fact, he'd do just about anything to have you that close to him at all times.
As the night grew older, your sobriety began to recede as well. Aaron didn't initially notice what you were trying to do until he felt your hand sliding up his knee and towards his thigh. He sucked a sharp breath when the same hand began to palm him through the slacks he was wearing, suddenly thankful that Spencer Reid—who had been talking with him for the past ten minutes—had his attention stolen by something on the dance floor.
Aaron's fingers circled your wrist. "What are you doing, sweetheart?"
"I wanna play," you said in a slight whine. Your forehead dropped to Aaron's shoulder before you left a kiss on his jawline. "Want you so bad right now, baby."
"Seriously? Right here, right now?" he asked. It wasn't because he had any impartiality to your suggestion. Aaron was merely perplexed by this foreign behavior you were suddenly dispaying.
But between your state of inebriation and Aaron's general stoic nature, something must have gotten lost in translation. Before he knew it, you suddenly pulled away from him as if it burned you to have mere contact with his skin. Just as he was about to ask what was going on, you got out from the booth and teetered faraway from his reach.
"I'm gonna dance with Emily. I'll be right back!"
Following that night, Aaron began observing you with a closer eye. This led him to detect the differences between how you acted around him when your inhibitions were low and when they weren't.
Just like the other day, for example, when you and Aaron were lounging on the couch during one of your routine movie nights at your apartment. In your sleepy haze, you had shuffled your body closer towards Aaron, to the point where you eventually found yourself sprawled across his lap. Aaron's eyes were still on the TV when you started to kiss and suck on his pulse point, your hand slipping inside his shirt to find the hard panes of muscles on his abdomen.
"Sweetheart." Aaron pulled back once your fingers strayed towards the hem of his shorts. "Don't you wanna watch the movie?"
You blinked blatantly at him for a minute, before you yanked your fingers away and pressed yourself to the other end of the couch. "Yeah, yeah. Of course I wanna watch the movie. Sorry, shouldn't have done that. You know what? Actually, I think I'd like to go to sleep now."
Aaron frowned in confusion. "I'll come with you."
"No! No, it's okay. You don't have to. Just finish the movie, handsome. Join me when you're done, alright?"
After movie night, Aaron was determined to confront you about it. About why you seemed to love gluing yourself to him one second, only to recoil as if he just electrocuted you by the next. It was as though you kept prohibiting yourself to touch him, because of what, Aaron wasn't sure. All he knew was that he didn't like the thought of you being reluctant to be with him in any capacity at all.
The day Aaron sat you down with him, he swore he could smell your trepidation from miles away.
Choosing not to beat around the bush, Aaron decided to dive in head first and ask you the question that had been bothering him, "Is there something you're not telling me?"
Despite your immediate denial of his accusation, your body language told a completely different story. Aaron continued to press on, demanding you to tell the truth and promising you that whatever you were going to say, nothing could ever change how he felt about you.
After minutes that seemed like decades, you finally turned to him and exclaimed, "Fine! You wanna know what's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. I'm a fucking nymphomaniac. Happy now?"
Aaron faltered upon hearing your admission.
The sound of your heart shattering was deafening to your ears. Aaron's reaction hurt, no matter how many times you had imagined it in the past. This was the reason why you never said anything. You loved Aaron too much, valued your relationship so severely to the point that you couldn't let anything jeopardizing its future.
Not even the truth about your hidden addiction.
Your entire world collapsed on top of your shoulders, pinning you down as a sigh fell from your lips. "I know this isn't what you signed up for. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I just—I couldn't fathom the thought of you leaving me once you hear the truth. Because you will leave me, I know, you don't even need to say it. I just wanted to be able to love you a little while longer."
"You think I'm gonna leave you?"
Your confused gaze slithered his way. "Why wouldn't you? Everybody else has. I don't blame them. I mean, who wants to be with somebody like me? Sure, society has their own fetish over us. But most people, once they experience being with a nymph for themselves, always end up running away. That's how it's always been."
Silence setlled in the room soon afterward. You hid your head in your palm to evade the shame that clouded over your entire being. You had never wanted to disappear so badly in your entire life as you did in that moment. The longer you waited for Aaron's response, the deeper the blade pierced through the beating organ in your chest.
But where you expected expulsion to rain down from your boyfriend, all you could find in the next second was a pair of gentle hands tugging at your wrists. Your eyes opened once more to see Aaron staring back at you ardently.
"No one is going anywhere, sweetheart. I love you. Nothing is ever gonna change that, not even this."
"But any other person—"
"I'm not any other person. I'm yours." The promise was accentuated with a kiss to your knuckles. "And you need to know that there's nothing to be ashamed for about this. We all have demons we battle with every single day. This just happens to be yours. Are you getting the help you need?"
You nodded meekly. "I started going to therapy a year ago, right after I, uh, got fired from my last job. I was falling behind on deadlines because of my addiction. That's when I knew I needed help."
"That's good." Aaron's praise made you preen. "That's amazing, sweetheart. First step to overcome any addiction is to admit that you need help and to seek it. I'm proud of you."
"Really?"
"With my whole heart," he vowed. "You must have been holding back a lot from me these past few months."
"It wasn't easy at first. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how you were going to react, so I just made sure to minimize the chances of you ever finding out about this."
"Is that why you've only ever wanted to have a quickie with me?"
The question caught you off guard. You pressed your face to your boyfriend's shoulder to hide your fluster. "Aaron—"
"It's just a question." He chuckled. "But I'm gonna take that as a yes. How else have you been trying to cope?"
More heat traveled to your face. You felt lewd even thinking about replying honestly to Aaron's question, but the longer you stayed in his arms, the more you realized that there was nothing to be scared about. This was Aaron, after all; loving, compassionate, and understanding in ways that you thought weren't even possible. If there was ever anyone who would understand your struggles instead of judging you for it, that person would be him.
So, with a deep breath, you opted to lay down your book as open as possible. "I usually just... watch porn and masturbate. Toys help a lot. I used to go numerous times a day, but now I can sometimes survive with doing it just once a day. It's convenient that my current job is freelancing as well. And my therapist has also encouraged me to explore new hobbies whenever I can. I just tried crocheting last week."
"How was it?"
"Crocheting? Absolutely terrible. I don't think these fingers were made to crochet." You frowned, chastising the digits in your hands with your judgemental eyes.
Aaron's whole body shook when he laughed, sending vibrations right into your bloodstream. He pulled back to look straight into your eyes, smiling when he saw the adorable pout on your lips.
"Will you show me?" he suddenly asked.
"Show you what?"
"Who you are. What you like. I want you to show me what happens when you don't hold back."
"I don't think that's a good idea—"
"I'm not saying you need to throw away all the progress you've made so far, sweetheart. I just wanna understand you better. I wanna know how I can help you. Please?"
And that was exactly how Aaron found himself sitting on the love seat in your bedroom that night, gripping the armrests as he watched you spread out on the bed like the best last meal of a man's filthiest fantasy.
You were laid down on the mattress, writhing in pleasure from the vibrator shoved deep inside your weeping cunt. You had cummed twice before this, the first time from your fingers and the second from a dildo without Aaron ever touching you, and you were still going as if your stamina hadn't depleted in the slightest.
"Aaron... fuck. I'm so, oohhhh, s-so close."
"I know, sweetheart. I can see the way your hole grips that toy. Do you wanna cum?"
You nodded your head frantically. "Please! Please, I need to cum!"
"Turn the setting higher, princess, and press the shorter handle to your clit."
You followed his instructions, turning the vibrator to its maximum setting and touched the smaller simulator to your engorged clit. A euphoric scream fell from your lips at the overwhelming sensation, and before long, the coil in your belly finally snapped into pieces.
"I'm—oh, I'm cumming so much, Aaron! Ah! Ah! Yeesss, 'm making such a mess, mmmhhh."
You kept the vibrator on until the last ripples of your orgasm subsided. Once you tossed the toy aside, you crawled off the bed and sauntered towards where Aaron was sitting.
Your state of undress was a contrast to Aaron, who was still clad in his buttoned-up shirt and slacks. You threw your legs on either side of his thighs to straddle him, pressing your bare core directly on top of his nether region. Without wasting a breath, you began to move your hips against the tent in his boxers, smearing juices and cum on Aaron's pants as you ground your pussy against his clothed erection.
"Sweetheart." Aaron's hands went to your hips. "Not tired yet?"
"Never for you, Aaron."
You leaned down to claim his lips, kissing him fervently like he was the singular source of oxygen you breathed. Your kisses soon trailed down his body as you made quick work unbuttoning his shirt and pants. When you suddenly got up from his lap to kneel on the ground, Aaron studied you in wonder.
"What are you doing, angel?"
"Wanna taste you, Aaron. Wanna make you feel so good. Please?"
Who would ever say no to that?
In a flash, the two of you freed Aaron from the confinement of his pants and briefs. His erection sprung free once his clothes were out of the way, standing proud and tall against the muscles of his abdomen.
You licked your lips at the sight of his beautiful cock. Before tonight, you never allowed yourself to stare directly too long at it in fear of the repercussions it might bring due to your addiction. But as you knelt there, arousal dripping between your thighs like waterfall, you couldn't help but curse your past self for denying you such pleasure. Aaron's cock was beautiful, moderate in length but gifted in girth, leaking pre-cum from the tip, making the head red and shiny.
You wrapped your hand around his shaft, giving a few lazy tugs to smear the pre-cum around before intensifying your ministrations. At the first touch of your lips on the tip of his cock, Aaron couldn't stop the hiss from escaping his throat.
"Fuck. Feels so good, princess. You're making me feel so good."
Aaron's praises only spurred you on even further. You began bobbing your head up and down his cock, matching the rhythm with your hand's movements around Aaron's girth. The moans that tumbled free from your boyfriend's chest were music to your ears. You had even started to rib your thighs against one another, desperate to create any level of friction that would alleviate the throbbing need in your pussy, a fact that didn't escape Aaron's notice as he watched you with lust-lidded eyes.
"You're getting yourself off, sweetheart? Does sucking my cock get you all hot and bothered?"
Aaron's words went straight to your core, making you whine around Aaron's cock. The vibrations Aaron felt from your mouth made him groan loudly.
"Fuck. I'm so close, princess."
You released him with a pop at the new information. Your lazy eyes took in the sight of Aaron's face that had seemingly been taken over by euphoria.
"Use me, Aaron."
Aaron's eyes fell wide open at the request.
"Go and use my mouth for your pleasure. Wanna make you feel so good, handsome."
With that, you wrapped your mouth once more around his girth. Aaron's fingers instantly went to your head, holding you in place as he began fucking your mouth as if it was his personal fleshlight. In a way, it probably was. You could've smiled at Aaron's dominance if you weren't so busy trying to control your breathing.
"You feel like heaven, sweetheart. Holy shit. So warm and wet. I'm gonna cum down your throat, 's that what you want?"
You nodded your head frantically, feeling tears already starting to pool around your waterlines.
"Go on, then. Take it all, goregous. Swallow all of it—every. single. drop."
One last thrust into you, and Aaron was emptying himself down your throat. You swallowed every single drop you could while the rest was left to drip down your chin. You withdrew at last only to clean up the residual cum along Aaron's shaft, grinning in pride when he hissed at the feeling of your tongue running along his protruding veins.
Your kisses eventually wandered upward, towards Aaron's awaiting lips that welcomed you eagerly when you pressed against them in a kiss. Aaron's hands instinctively gripped your hips when you settled back on his lap, your fingers rushing to peel the loosely hanging shirt completely off his back.
When your hand flew down to wrap around his still half-hardened cock, Aaron's entire body shuddered in reflex.
"Sweetheart—"
"Please, Aaron. Need to have you inside me. Hm? We'll go slow, I promise."
There was no way he could have such a beautiful and tantalizing woman such as yourself, begging to fuck him, only for him to say no. Aaron would be the most idiotic man in the world if he let that happen.
So, he rested his head back against the seat as he watched you pepper a million tiny kisses across his chest, all the while never diminishing the ministrations on his cock. It didn't take long for Aaron to get hard again, and when he did, you wasted no time in pressing his swollen red tip against your puffy pussy.
When you finally slid him inside your throbbing walls, Aaron thought he was going to pass out.
"Ohhhh, Aaron," you mewled once he was fully seathed inside. "You're filling me so good, baby. You're so fucking big."
Aaron was sure words would fail him miserably at that moment, so he settled with planting his hands on your hips instead of a verbal response.
In no time at all, you began moving above him. Slowly, at first, but then the rhythm found you almost immediately. You were warm and wet from the previous orgasms you had, and the amount of juices leaking out of your cunt only amplified the obscene sound of your lovemaking within the four walls of the bedroom. Aaron watched in awe at the sight of you on top of him; so lost in pleasure and visibly free for the first time in what felt like a long time. You caught his stare when you looked down, leaning closer to kiss him between the gasps tumbling past your lips.
"Shit, princess. You're gripping me so good. I can smell you, sweetheart."
Your responding moan was the most melodic thing that ever graced Aaron's ears. "Yeesss, Aaron, you're so fucking deep in my pussy—ohhh. Can feel you all the way inside, baby."
Your lips strayed towards the column of Aaron's neck, where you trailed wet kisses all the way across his collarbones. The movements of your hips only became that much more frantic with every second that ticked by.
"You're so beautiful, Aaron. I love you so much." You sobbed against his chest. Aaron instantaneously circled his arms around your torso. "You're the only one who makes me feel good like this, baby—mmphh."
"Yeah? I'm the only one?"
"Just you. No one else."
You gasped out of the blue in the next second, your mind going hazy when the head of Aaron's cock punched the erogenous spot inside your cunt right at its center. Your hips grew even more erratic. Aaron could feel your walls gripping him tighter, and knowing what was certainly about to come, he brought his hand down and started drawing circular patterns over your sensitive clit.
"Aahhh! Aaron! I'm s-so close, mmhh. I'm cumming! I'm cumming!"
Aaron continued fucking up into you as your climax washed your entire being like a tsunami. The constant stimulation in your pussy, along with the one administered to your clit, prolonged the orgasmic bliss until you couldn't sit upright anymore. With a few more powerful thrusts, Aaron came shortly behind you, shooting loads and loads of cum into your womb until your insides were flooded with warmth.
In the aftermath of both of your pinnacles, you and Aaron clung to each other as if it was your last day together on earth.
"So—" Aaron's voice aroused in the otherwise silent bedroom.
"So—" you parroted, glancing up at your boyfriend who was already looking down towards your face, "—how was it? Too much?"
Aaron shrugged. The smile on his face was the perfect picture of smugness. "I think I can keep up."
You punched him lightly on his shoulder. "You say that now. You're gonna be thinking differently when sex doesn't become exciting anymore since I ask for it every single hour of every day. You'll look at me differently."
"Hey. I told you, that's not gonna happen." Aaron slid his hand against your cheek, keeping your head in place so he could stare directly into your eyes. "I'll help you with your needs to the best of my capacity, and I promise to tell you whenever I feel like I need a break. It's a compromise. You have me, sweetheart. And you're still going to therapy as well, so you're gonna be fine. Trust me."
Aaron secured his declaration with a sweet kiss to your forehead. As you lay there in his arms, you couldn't help but thank the stars for sending someone who was willing to try to understand you better despite what society would expect him to. You knew that in a few hours, your condition would cause the raging arousal to burn once more in the pit of your belly. But at that specific moment in time, you were quite pleased to just rest in the safety of Aaron's embrace, where being yourself finally didn't feel like a crime that could potentially sentence you to a lifetime of imprisonment.
In the safety of Aaron's embrace, you were finally free.
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biibini · 3 months
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Its okay if you dont wanna do this but i really wanna know what you think mizu would do when reader gets her period
modern!mizu x reader gets her period (request)
tags: period, cuddling, fluff, kissing, modern au, modern mizu, mizu being best girl
a/n: ok midterms r coming up so soon HAHAHAHAH (im so nervous)
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modern!mizu would def have the supplies
but i’d feel like she’d carry the lighter, smaller pads
but on most days, mizu would be a tampon used
to ur surprise, she typically uses panty liners for the majority of her period
and even if she does get a heavy period, she can handle it on most days
(yeah im fucking jealous i wish that was me)
like perfect silky hair and thin pads???
mizu my girl
hand those genes over
anyways
she would have aspirin and a hot pack on hand if u need it
when she was growing up, they used to be super heavy but now they've become lighter
if ur a heavy flow typa gal,
oh lord its extra packs for mizu to buy
at first, she would be rlly confused at the sizing and the number of flaps/extensions the pads would have
and what specific color to buy
(iykyk my heavy flow girls will know)
but she doesnt mind, u need them
as long as her girl is covered and safe and sound
if ur a tampon girl, mizu would double check to make sure she got ur brand when she goes shopping
modern!mizu would notice ur cycles, especially the week beforehand when ur rlly moody
whether its u being acting more impatient or upset than usual
she checks and makes sure that she has the necessities at hand
if she doesnt, she’ll say she’s just gonna run some errands
technically its not a lie
she does go to the closest convenience store
but the errands in question: pads/tampons and something sweet
(personally im a chocolate sweets girlie)
she’ll get u a lil sweet treat that’ll last u for a week or two
modern!mizu would also pour an extra cup of tea for u before bed
she just wants u to be as comfortable as u can be during ur period
and if u guys are cuddling and watching something before bed
she’ll make sure to keep u comfortable
“Mizu, pleaseeee. Just one more episode?”, you plead. You guys had just finished the second to last episode of the show. Sure, you felt a little tired. But the thought of moving and crawling off of Mizu’s chest didn’t outweigh the comfort of the couch.
Mizu sighs.
“You always do this and then you end up falling asleep.”, Mizu states as she grabs the remote control.
“Not necessarily-“, you rebute. Technically, she wasn’t wrong with your history of falling asleep. But not this time.
“Mmhmm. Right…”, she responds, a little sass in her tone.
You pout. “Please. I promise, I’ll stay up.”
You place your warm cup of tea aside, allowing you to wrap your arms around Mizu’s neck. You feel the heat of her neck against your forearms.
“Besides, it’s the final episode.”, you smile. You look at Mizu for sign of defeat.
“Ok fineeee,” she clicks on the next episode button, “Stay awake now. I’m not summarizing it this time.”
You plant a kiss on her cheek, pulling her closer to your body. She places her mug next to yours and letting her arms wrap around your body. You feel the warmth of her hands press against your body, almost burning from the hot tea.
“I promise I won’t.”, you assure as you sit back against Mizu’s chest again. You feel Mizu’s arms relax and allow you to prep yourself before watching the finale.
Mizu smiles as she felt your body lay back on hers. Your weight alongside the blanket you’re sharing relaxes her. You feel her arms gently wrap around you again as you hear the intro to the episode play.
Her hands start to drag along your sides to your stomach. You feel her burning palm place itself on the top of your lower stomach. Its presence shared a similarity to a heat pad.
You hum in response. While her right hand is busy drawing attention to your lower stomach, you feel her other hand wrap around you and pull you closer. You feel her lips lightly graze your shoulder.
“Mizu, it feels good but-”, you say as her right hand starts to gently massage your stomach.
Fuck. That feels so nice.
You hold back a groan. “Not here, hon.”, you say as you nod your head towards Ringo’s bedroom door.
“I know, don’t worry.”, Mizu responds as she places a soft kiss near your neck. “I just want you to feel comfortable now. You’re on your period, right?”
You nod in response.
“So c’mere. I’ll keep you nice and warm.”
modern!mizu would put ur towel in the dryer while u shower
ik its oddly specific
but i feel like she would make sure to make u feel warm in any way possible
with or without heat pad
same concept applies for the blanket
shes always so thankful her and ringo got an apartment with an in-unit washer dryer
when ur washing up, she’ll typically be doing some light studying with some tea before bed
a break inbetween would be the pop the towel in the dryer
next break is swapping out the towel for the blanket
final break is bringing back the blanket right before u get into bed
its a strange strategy but it helps her stay focused and paces herself while synonymously taking care of u
modern!mizu would make sure she’s wrapping her arms around ur lower stomach when ur cuddling at night
the heating pad gets annoying to sleep with
especially if u tend to toss and turn at night
but having her hands warm u helps u relax at night
when ur trying to sleep, she’ll gently caress and massage ur stomach to help release any tension
at first, u thought it wouldnt have an effect on u
but the more she did it, the more relieved u felt at night
mizu would also feel relaxed knowing that u r relaxed as well
when she heard ur snores, she knows shes done a job well done
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jtkys · 7 months
Text
Random headcanon post
silly habits I think crp characters would have!!
Jeff-
leaves things everywhere (by accident). Whether it be random items, clothes, etc. he’ll go in one room and put an item down, intending to pick it back up again when he leaves the room, and then will just completely forget it was there and leave to do another thing. People have grown accustomed to just assuming whatever has been left alone is Jeff’s, and usually leave it outside his door or in his room. He’s caught onto this, and has just accepted that whatever is left out in the open now belongs to him. Finders keepers.
Toby-
Doesn’t chew his food enough. I know it sounds silly, but most of the time when he’s eating he just zones out or has his attention on another thing (video, book, game, whatever) , so he doesn’t chew his food enough and swallows pieces that are too big. He doesn’t choke he just sits there like 👁️👁️, and it looks like he’s absolutely out of it, but he’s actually just trying to swallow the food. Will probably just silently stand up and grab a drink to try and wash it down, and then act as if nothing happened. Tim witnessed him doing it once and genuinely thought he had been possessed, now everyone knows to just grab him some water instead of calling for an exorcist.
BEN-
Forgets to take cans/plates/cups out of his room. I’m also guilty of this habit so it’s ok, but honestly I see BEN as quite the introvert, usually hiding away in his room for comfort. He doesn’t really like to eat with other people and is an absolute iPad kid to he’s got to be watching something while eating, so he usually goes up to his room. also, probably drinks atleast 15 energy drinks a day (yeah me too) and simply forgets to throw away the cans, or to bring the plates/bowls that he’s eaten out of downstairs. He intends to do it and then forgets to do it and then just decides he doesn’t wanna make the trip downstairs again to do it. So oh well. Either someone sees the state of his room and does it for him or he very slowly accumulates all of the manor’s plates and glasses, until literally nobody has anything to eat or drink out of.
EJ-
Hits his head on things/bumps into things. Already said in a previous post, but I hc this motherfucker to be TALL. As in he towers over everyone. This, unfortunately, leads to him bashing his head on the doorframes of almost every room, as the massive manor they live in wasn’t designed to home demons that tall, or demons at all, for a matter of fact, which leads me to the next thing. He bumps into things all the time, and has probably broken some things over the years (which he’s profusely apologised for every time) because he’s just so big- also, that tail of his doesn’t help. He tries his best to be a careful gentle giant, he really does, but who can blame him for some slip ups when you’re that size? The others would tease him for it, but he gets embarrassed and insecure about the fact he’s so tall and big compared to everyone else, so they bite their tongues.
Jane-
Leaves lipstick stains on everything. No glass, cup, mug or piece of cutlery in the manor is safe from her various shades of lipstick in red and black. When they host events, when they have a girls night out, or when it’s just a casual night of the adults drinking in the mansion, you can always tell which wine glass belongs to Jane because of the lipstick stain. (On the note of wine, she very specifically will only drink expensive red wine. Love her for that 🗣️🗣️)
Nina-
Doodles on everything. She gets bored super easily, and hates having to sit still for more than five minutes. She usually carries a marker or one of those scented pencils around with her, just so she can doodle on whatever surface she’s forced to sit at. Sometimes, even if she’s standing, she might just draw some silly things on the walls or wherever she can get her hands on. Very often, you’ll find drawings of cats, random squiggles, love hearts, or random notes about or to the residents. It can range from “you owe me $20!!” To “I really liked the way your hair looked today <3” and it makes people happy when they pass by and see what she’s scribbled on the dining room table or hallway wall for them today. She’s so silly how can anyone hate her
clockwork-
Talks in her sleep. This is super random, but I think it’s kinda silly for her. Sometimes, she goes out drinking with some guy friends of hers and come home at like 2 in the morning. Someone, probably BEN, comes downstairs intending to get a snack (because you know damn well his sleep schedule is fucked up as hell) and witnesses her fast asleep on the sofa, mumbling away. He finds it incredibly funny ofcourse and decides to record it, as she mutters away about whatever is going on in her dream. Ofcourse when she wakes up, hungover and grouchy enough as it is, and BEN teases her for it, well. You best believe that he’s already deleted the video and is undoubtedly sworn to secrecy after the threatening look she gives him. (He still tells Jeff though)
EXTRA (cuz I felt like it)
Shut up I know they aren’t technically crp but it’s for the sake of writing. Hush up and sit down 🗣️
Tim-
always leaves the lights on after leaving a room. He hates it when other people do it, and will always lecture someone about wasting electricity and blah blah blah, but he’s just as guilty. He’s usually rushing around with his billions of tasks to do, and forgets to switch off the lights after he exits a room. Truthfully, he feels a bit bad about being so hypocritical sometimes, lecturing everyone else despite the fact he does it himself, but he always claims that “it’s different!!” And he does it because he’s rushing around, everyone else does it cause they’re forgetful (he’s literally just as forgetful, but for the sake of his sanity, indulge in these thoughts and accept the lectures.)
Brian-
Taps on surfaces constantly. This is actually a habit he picked up from Toby, who at first just did it as a stim, but once Brian picked it up, they just randomly began to tap out random made up melodies together for fun. Nobody else gets it, and really, neither do they: it’s their little thing. Sometimes, they’ll silently agree to play a game of trying to guess the song the other person is trying to tap, and if they pick up on it, it’s always a fun little bonding moment of them just tapping on different surfaces together to make said song. They look absolutely crazy doing it, grinning at eachother and tapping away, but they’re happy and having fun, so that’s all that matters. Sometimes, the others catch on and join in, but most of the time it’s their little secret.
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what-if-i-just-did · 11 months
Text
What about.. aliens and neurodivergents?
Like, they find out about body language, and facial expressions, and sayings, and all of that stuff. And the amount of poisons we drink for fun. And they're weirded out. And the humans don't know how to explain it, because they don't know any other.
Then the aliens meet neurodivergents. And at first they're like, wtf there are humans who don't understand humans? But then they realise, oh wait, these 'weird' humans can explain the 'normal' ones. And they start calling the neurodivergents 'h-w', 'humans weird'. So they talk about neurotypicals. And someone bring up how we poison ourselves for fun. And the neurodivergent is like, "Oh yeah, caffeine doesn't work on me, and I need like a whole wine bottle to get even tipsy and like six sigarettes for the nicotine to work but I had weed once and I got like wicked high instantly" and the alien is like wtf you're h-w you're supposed to be normal by galactic standards???
And say, the Kgrifu ship Hashalaiy has eight humans, which is almost the permitted maximum of ten, and only one of the eight are neurodivergent, and they tend to mask in public, even if the other humans aren't around. They usually turn down human applications but then they get one that states 'h-w, strong by human standards, frequently non-verbal' and they decide yes, let's hire this one, they're h-w, and if they're strong by human standards, they must be wicked-strong by galactic standards.
And this human, Bridge they call themself, introduces themselves to the other humans. The aliens look on with intrigue. Bridge keeps their eyes on the ground, talks softly, and fidgets with their sleeves. Seven of the other humans look them up and down, frown, and don't give them a second thought. The other h-w, though. Earth, her name is. She looks at them with curiousity, and exitement. When Bridge is done talking, Earth slowly walked towards them. She doesn't make eye-contact, like she usually does. "Autistic?" She asks in a soft voice. Bridge looks up, nods enthusiastically. Earth breaks out in a large grin. "ADHD with a side of OCD, on my side." The aliens don't know what those words mean. Then Bridge's expression changes slightly, and it isn't an expression any of the Kgrifu's know, but Earth immediatly replies verbally by saying "It's Earth."
The aliens observe Earth and Bridge interact the next few weeks. They're almost always around eachother, and barely talk to communicate. When they do talk, it's usually Earth- Bridge has said maybe a total of 20 sentences while around Earth, and usually they only really use one word. Rather than words, they use the 'body language' Earth claimed not to know, a few words from something called 'sign language' (an entire language of hand-movements!), simple noises such as hums, and, suprisingly.. touch. Earth will tap Bridge's right shoulder twice, or Bridge will run their fingers through Earth's hair (humans only have fur in four or five places on their bodies, and the fur on their heads are ridiculously long), and the both of them will recognise this as communication.
One time, ensign Ririfé sees/overhears (pretty much the same thing for xe's species) one of the 'normal' humans, Pietro, xe thinks his name is, look at such a non-verbal conversation with annoyance. Earth hums a specific melody, something best written as 'hmm-hmm-hmm-hhhhhhhh-hmm?', and then Bridge cocks their head to the left. Earth responds by doing a kind of half-shrug with one shoulder and saying "Tomorrow". Bridge thinks for a second before shrugging. Pietro calls out, saying: "Hey! Talk out loud, would ya!" This gets an identifiably 'angry' look from Earth, pointedly directed at Pietro, whereas Bridge, a large, muscular human, basically shrinks into themselves. Earth angles her head towards the door and looks back at Bridge. Without words exchanged, they leave. Pietro looks even more annoyed and goes over to his 'friends' (a human word for a non-biologically related pack consisting of humans (or other, sometimes!) of the general same age). Ririfé rushes to go tell the captain.
Alternatively, the aliens brand neurodivergents as the normal ones, and neurotypicals as the oddballs. The neurotypicals do not know how to handle this. I don't feel like writing a whole story for that right now but if you like the idea you should tell me.
Feel free to add on to this btw!
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radiant-reid · 2 years
Note
Request: the team finds out that Spencer used to do high fashion modeling when he was younger (like MGG) and they’re just sooo shocked. Extra points if the modeling is also how he met his hot wife
"This is you," Penelope states loudly, dumping a stack of magazines onto Spencer's desk. They're very old issues of Vogue, GQ, Vanity Fair, and Esquire as well as a couple of other catalogs from Hermes, Balenciaga, Ralph Lauren, Yves Saint Laurent, Comme des Garçons, and Dolce & Gabbana. "You're in these." She repeats.
Spencer has already memorized each page of every addition in every language. "Yeah?" He wonders what she's gifting these to him for.
"When, where, why, what, how?" She lists her questions.
"They all have dates on them, Garcia." He deadpans.
"Hey, you never told us about this," Emily says, flipping through the magazine and noticing the young version of Spencer photographed in expensive, designer clothes.
Spencer chooses an edition of Ralph Lauren, turning to a specific page number and pointing out the girl standing next to him in a countryside shoot. "Y/n." He says, labeling his wife.
"No way!" Penelope exclaims, picking it up to examine it closer.
"How did you never find this?" JJ asks her, taking the book after her.
"Baby girl, your skills are slipping." Morgan teases, trying to find both of them in the other catalogs.
Spencer shakes his head. "It's not my name. Well, not technically. It's Spencer L/n. I got into it in college, scouted, I guess. And it's how I met Y/n, who let me use her last name for my shoots. Now, she has mine." He explains, getting surprised looks from his colleagues.
"Oh, that's why you two found it hilarious when Morgan told her she could model," Emily recalls Morgan's flirting when they first met her.
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leeofthevoid · 2 months
Text
Cold-Blooded Beings- Part 1
Farleigh Start x Reader
a/n: Hey guys this is a multi-chapter thing, a little series I suppose and I'm excited to map it out. Hello! Had a few comments that wanted it changed to Y/N and I got you! Please let me know if I missed a few but I tend to not use the assigned name I did before. Just tell me if you guys also want some name specific Fic for you so I can make one shots! Big thanks to the people who pointed good stuff out!
Warnings: Mentions of Alcohol, Strong language
Word Count: 1777
|| Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five
Money Makes The World Go Wild
Oxford was a dream come true. It was so difficult to actually get into the school without the help of your family’s wealth and earn your place, it was rewarding to finally get into it. 
It wasn’t until dinner time when you felt big arms wrap itself around your shoulders while you ate. “Look who we have here. N/N L/N.” What the hell? This voice was unrecognizable. What does this guy want with you? “I’m sorry um…Did I do something wrong?” The man looked confused and chuckled. “Y/N , it’s me Felix? Felix Catton? Cry Baby Fee?” 
You jolted back in surprise and your face turned from a slight scowl to surprise. You didn’t hesitate to jump and wrap your arms around him. “Fee! Holy shit you’re so big now! I barely recognized you!” You both laugh heartily as you pour out your happiness in the embrace. “How I miss you, I miss you so.” You pulled back to pepper his face with kisses and finally sat back down on your seat, huge smiles still plastered on your faces. “You’re so big now Fee! I can’t believe you’re the same little boy I had to carry when you scraped your knees.” Felix cringed slightly at the story but still smiled his heart out. “Well yeah, I’m not the little boy Catton you used to know. It’s so nice to see you N/N. Venetia would be so happy know you go here.” You pause and look around the dining hall looking around for the other Catton sibling. “Speaking of, where is she?” Felix leaned on the table and sighed, “Went to Cambridge in fear that I would ‘ruin’ her university experience.” It was so like Venetia to say that and you admired how they seemed to barely change. 
You ended up talking through dinner time about how you got into Oxford the way your family always went in. Felix teasing you about your strict family. How you both grew through the years and realized how you missed each other’s presence ever since your father threw you to Switzerland to attend boarding school after your last summer in Saltburn. You both exchanged numbers and a promise to Felix that you will for sure hangout with him and his friends. With a goodbye embrace that was too long for other people, you parted ways. 
It was hard being a Teacher’s assistant. When you settled after a few months into your summer term, your professor offered for you to help him tutor his students which you gladly agreed to for extra credit. You were now stuck in the room with Mr. Ware, this shy scholar kid named Oliver Quick, and another empty seat that the other student seemed to miss every session. It’s their fifth absence now. Oliver was in the middle of reading his essay out loud when you decided to take a quick bathroom break, waking up your professor in the process to at least pay attention to the poor guy. After a few minutes out, you’re met with a new person chatting with the tutor and Oliver sits back quietly. You got a better view of the new presence and saw a nice head of curly hair, fashionable clothes, and…No way. “Farleigh?” 
Oliver and Farleigh look up at you from the door and his eyes widen. “ Oh my god N/N!” He stood up and scooped you in a tight hug. Man, these Cattons sure love their hugs. “I thought Felix was fooling us when he mentioned a special childhood friend in Oxford.” He gently puts you down and backs away to sit next to Oliver again. 
“My, my. A L/N and a Catton? Oliver, you have quite the company.” Your Professor stated. You saw Oliver slowly back up in his chair more, feeling a tinge of pity for the guy. “Let’s start over, Sir. I believe we all have limited time.” You chime in. You all sat down and proceeded to listen to the essays Oliver was abruptly cut off. His work was too robotic and a little…Boring? You can’t help but try to wake the other two people up from time to time to at least alleviate the embarrassment Oliver had. When Oliver finally finished, you cleared your throat, signaling for Farleigh and Mr. Ware to at least look alive. Mr. Ware shared his thoughts and you did too, “I believe there was a lack of something in it, Oliver. I’m sure you’ll be able to revise it better so don’t worry too much.” Farleigh snorted at your kindness and blatantly told him the truth. It was a tensioned back and forth that you’d much rather not be apart of but what can you do? Farleigh was right but so was Oliver, you looked at Mr. Ware and he simply shook his head. “So! We had quite the session today, lads. Oliver, please take note of the changes Ms. L/N will send you, and Farleigh please write your essay too. Um…Send anonymous regards to your mum too please?” Farleigh winks at him and gives you a kiss on the cheek before he leaves the room. Oliver soon made a beeline out of the room and you followed after getting a few tasks from Mr. Ware.
After a few days, you came across Oliver walking alone through the courtyard. “Hey, Oliver!” He quickly looked around for the source and saw you waving at him. “Oliver! Fancy meeting you around and not in the office.” You smiled at him as you put out your hands out to shake. He took it and gave you a shy smile, “Ollie is alright. Y/N right?” You nodded. “So sorry about Farleigh, he always had a sharp tongue ever since we were kids, can I buy you a few drinks to apologize?” 
“No, no, c’mon now Y/N it’s not your fault. Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want to. I don’t need a reason to treat a friend out?” You smiled at him as he fiddled with his jacket deep in thought. “I suppose you it wouldn’t be bad…” You smiled again “See you later at the pub then. You know where right? Bring your friends Ollie!” Oliver hurriedly walked away with a small bounce of excitement as you slowly backed away bumping into something…Or someone. “Running a charity case, love?” Farleigh chuckled. You look up at him and roll your eyes with a slight smile. “Don’t be mean Far, I just thought he was a decent person to befriend.” 
“And where is Farleigh’s invite then?” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you both walked. “Since when did you grow so mean? I remember you jumping up and down whenever I complimented you more than Felix.” Farleigh groaned at the memory as you laughed. “You know, being the oldest out of all of us had its perks, such as carrying both you and Fee when you were both so tiny! I felt so big next to you! Now look at you towering over me.”
“N/N, you sound like an old lady reminiscing about her children’s lives, I don’t miss that at all. If you’re coming to the pub with that bore of a person, come by at our table yeah? I’d hate for you to be lonely.” You chuckled as he kissed your cheek to walk off into who knows what. 
The pub had a really good atmosphere for a place swarmed with people in their early twenties dying to have some semblance of relief from school. You would even argue that The King of Arms was a decent place to have a date, even dressed nicely to appease the people you’ll hangout with. One problem is that you never anticipated the fact that Oliver could probably have no friends. Well, he had one, Michael, but the thing about Michael is he seemed to be so absorbed in his genius that he never did care to let you or Oliver talk. As much as you appreciate the boys not ogling at you with the usual stares you get from wearing provocative clothing, it was kind of pathetic that they didn’t at least compliment you perhaps? 
You excused yourself to get another round of drinks, on you of course. It kind of put you in a bit of a damper mood when Michael didn’t even acknowledge it, at least Oliver did but it still sucked. You approached the Barkeeper to bring you three pints of Pale Ale which he kindly nodded to. “What’s a pretty lady like you doing with losers like them?” You chuckled and looked up at the figure slowly sliding their hand on your waist. “Farleigh.” You lightly warned with a smile, “Cut them some slack. It’s probably their first time going out with people. I was like that when I started my summer term.” Farleigh simply rolled his eyes at your kindness thinking it was stupid. You notice how he seemed to still tower over you and that was something since you weren’t exactly short, five foot ten to be exact. You even had heels on for goodness sake! When did this small tiny boy grow so tall? 
You snap out of your trance when the door dings. You turned and saw Michael’s retreating figure, turned and checked the table you were occupying and found no signs of Oliver. Great, you just got ditched. “So…About my offer?” Farleigh’s tone was teasing and you can’t help but give in. With a sigh and a defeated huff you give in. “Fine Far, you win. What about the stuff I ordered?” 
He scoffs, “Thank you for buying me some, you’re a doll.” Farleigh says in a sarcastic manner, picks up the tray and brings it to the table while dragging you with him. You notice Oliver’s shy figure sitting beside Felix as Farleigh pulls a chair out for you. Paying no mind to the boy who just walked out of your table, you greeted everyone with a cheery expression even earning some wolf whistles from the guys sitting with you. “Y/N will apparently buy two rounds of drinks for us.” Farleigh teases. Everyone cheered making you roll your eyes at him. At least you get to use that allowance your dad finally said you earned.
After some time on the table, it still pissed you off that Oliver ditched you, he even avoided eye contact with you while talking to Felix. It’s alright, everything will be okay and you should just let this instance slide, you say to yourself. It was just an apology drink from Farleigh’s mean outburst and the subject of the event was right next to you making out with a girl on his other side. Don’t you just love university?
Next
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steddiealltheway · 2 years
Text
Steve confesses to Robin that he has a crush on Eddie. She has a minor shut down moment and asks under her breath, “Why do all the gays flock together?” - having had both Max and Will come out to her recently.
She’s hesitant about Steve’s crush because… the bandana. And Steve isn’t dumb, he knows when Robin isn’t saying something she wants to. So, when he asks what’s wrong with Eddie, she asks Steve, “Have you heard of the hanky code?”
Steve shakes his head.
“It’s… it’s a gay code. Like people put a certain color handkerchief in a certain back pocket to flag others about what type of sex they want,” Robin explains, knowing her description isn’t as in-depth as the code, but hoping that will make Steve get the point.
“Okay?” Steve says as he doesn’t connect the dots.
“Steve… have you noticed the black bandana in Eddie’s back left pocket?”
“Yeah, of course,” Steve says. Robin gives him a look. “Oh.”
“Yeah, ‘oh’ is right.”
Steve’s eyebrows furrow together. “So what does it mean?”
Robin links her fingers together and takes a deep breath. “I’m not one hundred percent sure. Just about ninety-nine point nine nine percent sure. Plus, I did some research with Nancy who also noticed. And we’ve come to a conclusion. Granted… it may not be the correct one but-”
Steve puts his hand on Robin’s wrist and pleads, “Robin.”
“It’s for sadism and masochism top,” Robin finally blurts out. Steve freezes. “Please tell me you know that means because I really really don’t want to explain it to you.”
Steve scoffs, “Of course I know what that means.” His eyes widen. “Not like… I know it like that,” he clarifies.
Robin nods as Steve processes the information. She hesitates before saying, “I just… thought you should know before you said anything to him. That doesn’t seem like… you. Especially after the whole Russians and getting a plate smashed over your head-”
“Yeah, Rob. I got it,” Steve says. He runs a hand through his hair. “And you’re right. Thank you for telling me.”
“Of course,” Robin replies sincerely before launching into a full monologue about her time spent researching with Nancy.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Steve finds himself staring at Eddie while hanging out with him - specifically at the black bandana. And truly, he can’t see how Eddie could have that side to him. He’s not kink shaming, but Eddie’s just so… sweet and caring.
Plus, when Eddie had been recovering from the bat bites, he had confessed that he felt kind of bad for killing and hurting the bats. Even though they had been eating him alive. “Some metal things we have to leave to the heroes,” Eddie had explained, ignoring when Steve insisted he was a hero too.
Steve snaps out of the memory when Eddie waves his hand in front of his face. “I was starting to worried that maybe Vecna was back,” Eddie jokes. Steve’s learned that’s one of his coping mechanisms as Nancy calls it.
“Just lost in thought,” Steve replies.
“About what?”
Steve stares at Eddie. What an unintentionally loaded question. “You,” he replies without thinking.
“Steve Harrington, what could you possibly be thinking about me? Pray tell,” Eddie says with the widest grin.
Well, he asked for it. So here goes nothing. “I like you,” Steve states, watching Eddie’s eyes go wide. “Like, I really like you. And I was going to tell you, but Robin implied something that I didn’t know how to bring up.”
Eddie nods his head, eyebrows furrowed, but his expression remains frozen, processing what Steve has said. He does this for a few seconds and suddenly snaps out of it. “Wait, what did Robin say?”
Steve swallows. “You know that black bandana you wear?”
Eddie nods in response.
“Well, Robin explained it to me. And while that’s cool and everything. It’s just… not me. You know, after the whole getting tortured by Russians thing-”
“The what?”
“I don’t think I’m ready for any of… that. But hey, it’s cool that you’re so open about that. Plus, it must be fun to talk in code. I mean, who knew a black bandana in your left pocket could mean being a S&M top.”
“It means what?!” Eddie yells, standing up, face in full shock.
“You know, sadism and masochism… but why am I explaining that to you?” Steve says with a huff of laughter.
Eddie stares down at Steve in horror.
“Wait…” Steve trails off. “You didn’t know it meant that?”
Eddie throws his hands up and begins pacing. “I just thought it made me look cool! Jesus H. Christ! I’ve been wearing that bandana for months and-” He abruptly stops and looks at Steve. “Did you say you liked me?”
“Yeah.”
Eddie sits down and puts his head in his hands. “Hold on. Let me process everything you’ve told me.”
Steve patiently waits, staring as Eddie seems to go through a mini crisis for a few minutes. Steve checks his watch a couple of times, wondering if he should ask Eddie if he’s okay or leave him to his inner turmoil.
As Steve checks his watch for the fifteenth time, Eddie sits up and sighs. “I think I’m okay now.” He looks at Steve and says, “Nope, I’m definitely not.”
“What’s wrong?” Steve asks.
Eddie leans forward poking Steve’s chest. “You like me?” Eddie finishes the thought, poking his own chest.
Steve nods.
Eddie continues staring.
Steve offers him an awkward smile.
Eddie stares harder and nods. “Cool. Cool. That’s cool…” he trails off. “And you’re sure about that?”
Steve laughs. “Yes, Eddie.”
A thought crosses Eddie’s mind. He asks, “Will you kiss me, if I promise I’m not a S&M top?”
Steve laughs again and replies, “Yes.”
Eddie dramatically whips the bandana out of his back pocket and drops it on the ground, immediately rushing forward to meet Steve who was already leaning in for a sickeningly sweet kiss.
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noellesturniolo · 6 months
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could u write a smut in Chris or matts pov and loss off their virginity being nervous and y/n is riding them
𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 - 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎
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a/n: okay so two warnings, i’m new to smut and writing in general but like, you could say i’m a smut connoisseur so I think we’ll be okay. another one is that I have no clue if you wanted y/n to be a virgin but in this she will if you want it differently then just lmk. ALSO, if you don’t like sturniolo smut then block me because they have never specifically stated that they don’t want smut written, if they do say they don’t want it I will take it down but for now get the fuck over it and scroll i’m gonna feed the people now
warnings: chris pov, sex, loss of innocence, riding, piv, fingering, unprotected sex (wear a condom bitch)
smut under the cut
y/n has been my best friend since 4th grade and i’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t had sexual thoughts about her, of course i’ve had my fair share of gfs but none of them have interested me sexually.
currently it’s late at night, y/n lays on my bed on her stomach and is scrolling through tiktok’s next to me, when Matt bursts into my room.
“Chris, y/n want anything from McDonald’s? me and nick are going.”
“yeah just get us drinks, what do you want y/n.”
“sprite is fine.”
“alright i’ll be back.”
her head goes back down to her phone. “Chris can I ask you a question?”
“mhmm what is it?”
“are you a virgin?”
“I-uh yeah I am.”
“really?”
“yeah, are you?”
“I mean yeah it’s embarrassing, but it’s whatever.”
“why is embarrassing? hm?” I say lifting her chin and looking at her with a smile.
“my ex, he um broke up with me because I wasn’t ready for it but it’s like I am now.”
“really? do you have anyone in mind you’d want to lose it to?”
“yeah I do” she smiles
“me too, are you thinking what i’m thinking?”
she nods her head before getting on top of me and kissing me, her hips grinding down on my hard dick. little moans escape my mouth as the pleasure increases with the speed of her grinding down. I break away quickly. “are you sure y/n?” she nods again. “words, ma I need words.”
“yes Chris i’m ready.” she says shakily as I flip her over so i’m on top now. “your okay baby i’m nervous too let me make you feel good ma, is it okay if I take these off?” I say tugging at her panties, she nods and I quickly take them off. My heart pounding as I see her wet pussy, i’ve had previous experience with fingering so I knew what to do. “Are you ready ma?”
“Please Chris fuck please touch me.” I rub her clit with my thumb and put one finger into her wet pussy and pump in and out of her pussy. Moans escape her mouth. “yeah that feel good baby?”
“yes chris fuck.”
I feel her pussy start to tighten so I know she’s close and right before she cums I pull away. “Your gonna cum on my dick beautiful.”
I sit on the bed, and I pull my pants down, and my dick springs free. I look at her and smirk before motioning that I'm all hers to do anything to. You can see the nervousness on her face creep up.
“Y/n it's gonna be ok I promise, we both want this and I can promise you I won't leave.”
I hold her waist as she gets on top of me before lowering herself, the grip on my shoulder tightens increasingly the lower she goes. “It's okay ma, it's okay I'm here,” I whisper in her ear before her pussy is at the base of my dick.
“Holy shit it's so fucking big.”
“You got it, baby, you feel so good this pussy is made for me.” she gains more confidence with those words and begins to move up and down more mons escaping both of our mouths and she continues to speed up.
“Fuck I'm so close Chris, fuck baby.”
“O-oh fuck ma this pussy is so good.” she opens her mouth before I feel her pussy clench around me. “Mhm you got it ma, good girl I'm so close.” Her coming down from her high I push her on the back before quickly thrusting into her deeply and harshly.
“Shit, I'm cumming ma.” I pull out and jerk my dick as I release my cum all over her stomach. “Shit baby that was amazing.”
“I know sweetheart let me clean you up.” I place a kiss on her forehead before moving the hair on her face behind her ear and smiling as I walk over to grab a towel and begin to wipe up the mess we made. I lay down beside her and hand her clothes to her as she gets dressed I put my arm around her.
“Pretty girl.”
“CHRISSSSS, Y/NNNNN, WE ARE HOME.”
I smile as I kiss her temple before getting up.
“Let's go pretty.”
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