#like my faith should not be my biggest stressor right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queerprayers · 3 years

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Advice for someone who's only a Christian because they know what's supposed to happen to people who aren't Christian? Like I got baptized again in my late twenties after going through a breakup and then a subsequent religion-induced freakout, and when the nice pastor asked me why I was there I just lied (I know you're super not supposed to do that in a church but panicked) and said "Just uh--felt right!" But in reality I was just like "Do--do you not know what happens to people who don't do this?" There are a million rules here, I feel resentful and burdened and terrified constantly, but at the same time, I want God to be closer to me as validation He wasn't given up on me and maybe won't set me on fire when I die. (And also because despite the fact that I am scared of God more than ANYTHING, He also brings comfort that nobody else can.) My faith is my life's biggest stressor. I don't think it's supposed to be like this. Or does God want me to be meek and quiet and so scared of Him that I don't do anything, because hey, I'm not sinning then, which is what He wants. Like He gets His way regardless so maybe my motives don't matter, if the end result is the same, which is Him getting His way, because that's most important.

Hello, beloved!

I have no doubt that you're not alone in this—so many Christians preach fear as a tactic of conversion, and the obvious result of this is that people end up Christians out of fear. This preaching is extremely unhealthy, but it exists, and so Christians need to welcome people who convert for these reasons, while helping find healthier ways to be religious! So I'll start by saying welcome, I'm glad you're here, but I'm so sorry that you're here out of fear, and hopefully something I say here or another resource can help you follow God in a healthier way, one fueled by passion instead of stress.

The Bible and many writers over the years have used phrases like "the fear of God," and this can make us think that we're supposed to sit around and be terrified of God and Their wrath. And "fear" as in a healthy knowledge of our place in the universe and remembering that God is greater than anything we could ever imagine? Yeah, I'm down with that. But so many people turn that healthy awareness into being scared, and I think that's something completely different. Proverbs 1:7 states, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge." Fear is not a place we should live, scared and alone. Fear is a beginning, a place to start, a place to meditate on. Another way to look at it: "John Mallon writes that the 'fear' in 'fear of the LORD' is often misinterpreted as 'servile fear' (the fear of getting in trouble) when it should be understood as 'filial fear' (the fear of offending someone whom one loves)." (x)

Two asks that might be of interest to you: this one from last week about only being religious because of fear of death, and this one from ages ago about whether only Christians will be saved.

God's way is the most important, for sure! But God's way isn't fear and inaction, I promise. I talked in the first ask above about how Christianity isn't just something you think; it's something you do. There is action involved in truly serving God and loving your neighbor.

You mention not doing anything just so you won't sin. And I get where you're coming from, but I think going out and trying your best to serve God and your neighbor, and then making a mistake, is infinitely better than never trying it at all. There is risk in action, yes. And it takes bravery and passion to do the things God asks of us. But They do ask us to do things, not just sit around and theoretically believe, or point to a baptism/conversion as proof that we're a "real Christian." I firmly believe that some of the people who follow God most reverently have never stepped foot in a church. (And there are also those who go to church every Sunday and have never truly followed God.)

You're right—it's not supposed to be like this. Faith shouldn't be our life's biggest stressor. There are other ways to exist as a person of faith, and I pray that you find one. I'm glad that you've found comfort and validation in God as well, and I hope you can let those parts of your faith grow.

I don't know what your church/local community situation is, but if you're feeling like there's a million rules and you don't have the space to explore faith healthily and question things, then I would suggest thinking about whether that has something to do with it. Your denomination/church may not be right for you, and there may be another place where you don't feel like you have to lie or just follow rules all the time! Everyone deserves a denomination/house of worship where they feel welcomed just as they are/where they are in their faith journey. (Check out this ask about choosing a denomination.)

Resources/Further Reading:

"We must fear God from love, not love God from fear," Carl E. Olson, Catholic World Report

"Loving and Fearing God," Rabbi Louis Jacobs, My Jewish Learning

"How to Follow Jesus," Jesus Without Baggage

"More than by fear of going astray, my hope is that we will be moved by the fear of remaining shut up within structures which give us a false sense of security, within rules which make us harsh judges, within habits which make us feel safe, while at our door people are starving and Jesus does not tire of saying to us, 'Give them something to eat.' —Pope Francis." —Rachel Held Evans, Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church

I pray that you find the strength and passion to follow Jesus without all the baggage. May you find a place to put your burdens down and find peace.

<3 Johanna

#asks

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chris-evanslover · 4 years

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Captain Patrotic: Part 2

Summary: Chris and OFC Samara go on their breakfast date:)

Requested by @thatoneperson5000

Word Count: 1.8K

Read Part 1 in my Masterlist!

I always found the expression ‘Running around like a chicken without a head’ funny, yet that was the perfect way to describe my frantic state. I glance at the alarm clock on my bedside table which is flashing the time ‘9:49’ in bright red block numbers. I had rolled out of bed just 15 minutes ago, after accidentally snoozing my alarm one too many times. Shit I cannot be late for this. Chris was gonna be here any minute to get me for breakfast.

In record time I threw my curly hair into a somewhat decent looking low bun with a few loose strands shaping my face, some light makeup to conceal the under-eye bags I was sporting. I grabbed my bag threw my wallet and phone in before heading downstairs to look for a jacket and some shoes.

On my way down the stairs I noticed my keys sitting on the kitchen counter, Imagine I forgot those, would’ve been pretty hard to get your car from the stadium huh Samara. As I threw them in my bag I heard a knock at the door and froze. Get it together, Samara! It’s just a date.

“Coming! One Sec!”

I slipped on a pair of adidas sneakers and a jacket and opened the front door ushering Chris inside. “Sorry for the mess, I woke up late and i’m a little all over the place and I almost forgot to grab my keys and I am rambling i’m so sorry” I sighed and looked at him, and I mean really looked at him. It blew my mind how someone could look this good at this hour. Dressed in a grey sweater and jeans he still managed to look straight out of a Vogue shoot. When my eyes finally wandered up to his face I noticed he was smirking at me.

“Are you ready for the best breakfast of your life”

“I sure am” we laughed and made our way to his car after I locked up my house. Ever the gentleman, Chris opened the passenger side door for me, Thanking him I got in and bucked my seatbelt and then we were off.

“Are you gonna tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope” he smiled at me

“Not even a hint” I put on my sweetest smile and the best puppy dog eyes I could muster but I’m willing to bet it didn’t look nearly as cute as I hoped it did. He laughed and said “it’s a surprise, I really think you will like it”

After making light conversation for 20 minutes, the car came to a stop outside an adorable cafe on the water, It was quiet and dainty and secluded yet perfect. “Wow this is-an amazing view Chris, how'd you find this place?” “I’m glad you like it, Scott and I found it a couple years ago just driving around the area, I come here pretty often when I’m in Boston i’m kind of a regular” he laughs, a little nervously “I’ve never brought someone here though, besides Scott but we can pretend he doesn’t count”.

He’s never brought someone here? Clearly he likes it if he considers himself to be a regular. He also seems a little nervous, maybe it’s not just me then.

“Come on, let’s sit, they have everything you could want here” “Well it’s no iHop but it’ll do” i smiled at him to make sure he knew I was playing around. He scratched the back of his neck, “Yeah I wanted to take you there but the only one around here is in the city and I was worried I would get recognized too much, I didn’t want that to ruin this” The Lizzie McGuire in me swooned at his answer. “That’s very thoughtful of you, I’m excited to eat here, now cmon I’m hungry” taking a little leap of faith I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me to the entrance.

We were seated right away, the hostess recognizing Chris, she brought us to a secluded corner table with a fantastic view of the water. She gave us each a menu with a “Your server will be with you shortly” and went back to the front counter. I opened the menu which could’ve been mistaken for a book, it had so many options.

I decided on getting the French Toast with a side of Bacon and a cup of coffee, Chris ordered an omelet with a side of bacon and a coffee. The waiter took our orders and menu’s and was off to the kitchen.

“I see why you love it here so much, it’s lovely but not too over the top” “It’s my favorite place to come when I’m feeling overwhelmed or need to clear my head. The view, the atmosphere and the food just makes for a prefect de-stressor” he laughed. I nodded my head and looked around the room at the decor, the restaurant had an indoor-outdoor design with tones of orange, gold and brown throughout. The huge doors opened completely out to a beige stone terrace that wrapped around the building, looking out onto the ocean. If the harbor water was a bit bluer I would’ve mistaken this place for the South of France.

“So tell me about how you became the worlds biggest patriots fan” Chris dived into his upbringing and how his father used to bring them to games and just being from Boston forced him to love the sport and the team. He also talked about how when he was in high school he tried playing football but he deemed he enjoyed it better as a spectator. I found myself getting lost in his blue eyes, which lit up as he talked about his favorite sport, hours could’ve passed and I wouldn’t have had any idea.

“Enough about the pats, what about you? What’s something you’re so passionate about you can’t contain yourself when talking about it?”

“Would have to be writing, I became a teacher because I love kids but I’ve always had a passion for writing and the escapism it brings. I think some of the most powerful stuff is written down in a good book and there’s no better feeling than hours of time passing while you’re getting lost in a novel.” I smiled shyly realizing how big of a nerd I must’ve sounded like.

“I completely agree with you” wait what? “Reading a good book is the best medicine to anything, I have a library room in my house and it’s probably my favorite part of the house, besides the kitchen, I love to eat as well”

I stared at him shamelessly “y-you have a library? in your house? are you serious that’s only like my dream” I stuttered out of complete shock. “I do, you’d love it it’s got all the classics. Maybe sometime next week you can come over and check it out? I could make us dinner if you would be up to that?” “Name a day and I’ll be there” we laughed.

Our food arrived and it was downright the best breakfast i’ve had in ages. The food was absolutely intoxicating and mouthwatering I didn’t want to finish it because it tasted so perfect. However, We scarfed down the food and asked for the bill. Chris insisted on paying but I wasn’t gonna let that happen, between taking me home yesterday and taking me out for breakfast paying for the meal was the least I could do.

When the waiter brought the check I quickly swiped it out of his hand before Chris could react, put my card in and gave it back to the waiter, smiling at Chris the whole time.

He sighed and shook his head “I said I would pay for it” “Gotta be quick around here Mr. Evans. It’s the least I could do for you” “Sam, I asked you out to breakfast” “Yes, which I thoroughly enjoyed, you also gave me a ride home yesterday and are taking me to my car so think of this as a thank you” “You really didn’t have to” “Yes I did” the waiter returned with my card and a receipt which I signed, leaving a tip. Standing up, I ushered Chris to follow me as we walked back to his car.

We pulled up to the stadium laughing about how I nearly face planted in the parking lot yesterday after the game. He pulled up next to my car and parked, ever the gentleman he opened my door for me, walking with me to my car, i unlocked it and threw my bag in before turning to him.

“I had a great time today, seriously thank you for bringing me there I can tell that place means a lot to you and I appreciated you-” Chris cuts me off with a kiss and before i know it I’m kissing him back. We pull away for air and he says “You’re cute when you ramble” I blushed hard and looked at my feet not knowing what to say, all my thoughts in overdrive by the kiss. He lifts my chin with his finger and looks down at my lips as if to ask permission to kiss me again. I slowly nod my head and his lips are on mine once again.

I swear my knees would’ve given out on me if I wasn’t being held up between my drivers side door and Chris’ body. The kiss turned a bit heated before he pulled away and smiled at me. He backed up a couple of steps before taking out a small piece of paper from his pocket and slipping it into my hand, closing my fist around the paper.

“Thank you for breakfast, text me about our library dinner date next week. Get home safe, Samara” “But I don’t have your number!”

“Yes you do” he winked before getting in his car. Opening the crumpled piece of paper in my hand was a 9 digit phone number. Chuckling I waved at him and got in my car. As soon as I arrived home I put his number in my phone so I wouldn’t lose it. Debating if I should text him now or wait. If I text him now, I don’t want to look desperate, we just said bye like a half hour ago, But at the same time I didn’t want to wait.

‘Hey it’s Samara, Just letting you know I got home safely, hope you did too!’

‘Who?”

Shit. Did he give me the right number? What if he thinks I don’t want to see him again because I don’t have the right number? Should I text Carly?

‘i’m messing with you, I did get home safely and I’m glad to hear you did as well. How’s Wednesday night for dinner?:)”

‘You asshole!!!!! My stomach dropped, but yes, Wednesday’s perfect’

‘Hahah! I couldn’t help myself I’m sorry, I can’t wait for Wednesday’

Chris and I texted sporadically throughout the rest of the day, Once again a smile never leaving my face.

A/N: I had so much fun writing this, maybe I’ll make it into a short series who knows. Gimme your thoughts💓💓

Join my Taglist!

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagine #chris evans one shot #chris evans x reader #chris evans gifs

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pacegerld1989 · 4 years

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Save One To Many Relationship Unbelievable Tips

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Can You Save A Toxic Relationship

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Dua To Stop Divorce In Islam

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#Save One To Many Relationship Unbelievable Tips #How To Save My Relationship With My Girlfriend

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suriel · 6 years

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so at some point I decided that 2 etsy shops are not enough; clearly I should have four. I'm justifying the 3rd one with the fact that it's a de-stash shop to help me clear out shit I'll never use. the fourth one, though. the fourth one is the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken. I signed up, on a whim, for a silversmithing class 3 months ago, and it has taken over my very soul. I don't know if I'm any good. I don't know if people will buy my things. I don't know if this was a great idea, or a really expensive failure. all I know is I can't stop thinking about rings and stones and tools and styles and aesthetics and I have taken to carrying a SKETCHBOOK -- y'all, I suck at STICK FIGURES and I am SKETCHING RING DESIGNS. I've created an Instagram where I've posted a couple works in progress, but I'm not telling anyone the name, I'm just tagging the pics with the sorts of styles I'm thinking they fall into, and seeing what reactions they get. so far it's not awful, but this is baby steps still.

so the reason for my disquiet today is, I bought some time in the studio I learned at, and I'm going tonight. but of course, overnight I got largeish orders for buttons & toffee & I'll have to delay shipment by 24 hours, minimum, because I can't make them before I leave for the studio tonight, and that right there is a huge stressor for me. not to mention, if I had all the tools at home, I could squeeze smithing into the random minutes I find along the day. using the studio means a 44-mile round-trip journey from the burbs to downtown -- gridlock central -- and back again, and UGH.

I”m just like, who am I, that people would pay to wear things I make? or, more to the point, pay more than the buck and change that I charge for a cute button? what hubris! what was I thinking?!

#silversmithing #self-doubt #impostor syndrome #and of course at the same time I'm thinking of more things I need to buy to make the jewelry no one will buy from me because I'm nobody #thank you stupid brain

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soldmymoralstothedevil · 6 years

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Super Detailed Character Sheet

I had a need for a super long and detailed character sheet so I decided to combine a lot of different sheets I found and add my own questions. There are a lot of questions relating to contemporary things (ex. character’s favourite avenger) these can either be ignored or answered as if the character fits to the question. It is mainly meant for original characters in a non-high-fantasy setting but can still be used for such, I would just advise to find a small character sheet for more detailed questions about their high-fantasy deviations from reality.

Use as you want, but please like or reblog if you do.

I apologise for any mistakes, this took forever and I did not read it all through once more.

THIS HOLDS 430+ QUESTIONS IN VARIOUS SUBJECTS WITH A MISCELLANEOUS PART IN THE END WITH RANDOM/FUNNY QUESTIONS.

Basics/General:

Name: Origin of name: Nickname: Origin of nickname: Does character like nickname?: Birth Date: Place of Birth: Ethnic Background: Citizenship status: Socioeconomic Background: Different from childhood?:

Birth date: Time of day (either exact or morning/evening etc.) Western sign: Traits associated with this: Chinese sign: Traits associated with this:

Current Address: Renting place or owning place?: Apartment, house, trailer, castle etc.?: What floor / how many floors (attic / basement?): How big: Live alone or with someone?: Area where they live (city, town, rural, other?): How close to the neighbours: Do they have a garden: How does it look: (Flower garden, pool, unkempt, paved, terrace, fields etc.) Is this ideal home type/location?: If not; what would be?: Why not live there: Home decor: (Carefully planned, comfortable, fashionable etc.) Expensive OR inexpensive: Neat OR Cluttered: What are the walls decorated with: (Wallpaper, art, photos, newspaper clippings etc.) What type of curtains: (Frilly, lacy, venetian blinds, pull down shades etc.) Is their house clean: Do they clean it themselves: What’s a visitors first impression: How does their workspace look like: (Small and cramped, huge and expansive, covered in books and papers, neatly organised, they don’t have any, all on a computer, artsy with colourful folders and small baskets etc.) What colour are their sheets: What material:

Does character have pets: How many: What kind: If no; why: How important are they: How well treated:

Sexuality: Marital status: With whom: For how long (dating + marriage): Children: (Names, ages, other parents—basics)

Three words to describe character:

Physical Appearance:

Age: Appear as: Gender: Species / Race: Signs of this (compared to humans): Signs of this (compared to other creatures in world): Height: (Cm + inches/feet) Weight: (Kg, lbs, stone) Bodytype: (Skinny, slim, athletic, curvy, overweight, muscular etc.) Eye colour: Glasses, contacts, hearing aids: Grooming: Very neat / average / clean but sloppy / unkempt Why: Facial hair: Hair: Style: (Long, short, crewcut, locs, bangs, side-part etc.) Texture: (Thick, thin, wiry, smooth, wavy, curly, nappy etc.) Colour (natural & current): Skin tone: (Pale, ivory, ruddy, tan, olive, brown, black etc.) Prominent features (+ location): (Freckles, moles, scars, tattoos, birthmarks, others) Story behind those: Most distinguishing feature: Face shape: (Round, oval, chubby, thin, long, square, heart shaped etc.) Looks most like: (Eg. Famous person, family member) General level of attractiveness:

Describe character in a paragraph (around 100 words):

Handedness: Left / Right General health: Chronic conditions: Current health problems: Allergies: Any visible signs of these:

How does character dress: Expensive / Average / Inexpensive / Cheap Haute Couture / Conservative / Trendy / Eclectic / Business / Sexy / Gaudy / Casual / Sloppy General size for Shirts: Skirts: Socks/Shoes: (Different sizes for different types eg. Rollerblades, stilettos, ski boots etc.) Dresses to be noticed: YES or NO Jewellery: Anything special: Make-up: (Casual, fancy, colourful, smokey, blending, noticeable, to hide something etc.) Other accessories:

Habits, Lifestyle and Emotional Characteristics:

Does character drive: What vehicle (make, model, colour, age etc.): Pace:

Accent / Dialect: Voice Tone: (Shrill, high, average, deep, squeaky, hoarse, harsh, authoritative, cultured etc.) Favourite / habitual: Word: Phrase: Curse word: General vocabulary / speech pattern: (Educated, precise, pretentious, average, childish, uneducated, vulgar etc.)

Mannerisms / Demeanour: Cool & Confident / Volatile & Moody / Nervous & Fidgety & Shy / Other Typical Posture: Stiff & Rigid / Straight not stiff / average OR varies w/mood / slumped & defeated / slouchy & careless / relaxed / Other Gestures: Not much / deliberate & controlled / Only when excited OR upset / Often / Wildly OR Weirdly Common gestures/habits: (Nail-biting, hair patting, drumming fingers, clenched fists, hands in pockets etc.) (Smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling) Are these addictions:

Finances: (Prudent/cautious, average w/some debt, lives paycheque to paycheque, deep in debt, criminal etc.) How do they act with their money: (Misery, generous, helpful etc.)

Morning routine: Alone or with someone in bed: Time to wake: Number of alarms (or other means of waking): Cheerful or loathsome: Normal breakfast: Breakfast activity: (Read, tv, feed pets etc.) Afternoon/Workday routine: Work home or out or not: How do they get to work: Like/hate work: Just their work or all work: Good at their job/enthusiastic: Length of workday: Number of workdays per week: Vacations, sickness, social security and other perks: Where/how do they get lunch: Dinner routine: Eat at home or out: Favourite restaurant: Favourite meal to make: Hated restaurant: Hated meal: What happens during dinner: (Tv, conversation, fighting, reading etc.) Who cleans/makes food: Food life style: (Healthy, fast food, mix, paleo, vegan, vegetarian etc.) Evening routine: What do they do in evening: Where: With whom: What is ideal evening: Bedtime routine: Normal bedtime (if any): Fall asleep right away or lie awake: Sleeps well or poorly: Dream activity: (A lot, never, little, in bursts) (Pleasant, sexual, scary, imaginative) Reoccurring dreams:

Hobbies: (Sports, arts, collecting, gaming etc.) Means of exercising (if any): What does the character do for relaxation: For inspiration: Does character read the newspaper: What part of it:

Personality, Mentality and Personal Beliefs:

Psychological issues: (Phobias, depression, paranoia, narcissism etc.) Pessimist or optimist: MBTI personality type:

Most comfortable when: (Alone, with friends, drinking, outside, inside etc.) Most uncomfortable when: (In a crowd, alone, speaking in public, taking exam etc.)

Approach to life: Cautious / Brave / Reckless Compassionate & sensitive / self-involved & selfish / Oblivious Personal philosophy: Reaction in a crisis: Usual areas of problems: (Romance, finances, friends, colleagues, personal flaws, health etc.) Reaction to change: What are their greatest stressors: What could the character be blackmailed due to: Would they let themselves be blackmailed:

What does character value / prioritise most: (Family, money, religion, success etc.) Why is it not the same thing: Characters greatest strength: Greatest flaw: Other strengths: Other flaws: What does the character like most/least about themselves: What do they think others think of them: Are they correct: What would they like to change about themselves: How confident are they:

Willing to die for: Has the character written a will: Willing to kill for: Biggest embarrassment: Greatest wish: Biggest regret: Other regrets: Proudest accomplishment: Other accomplishments: Biggest secret(s): Does anybody else know those: Does character know that those people know: How were they revealed: Is it okay they know: How far will character go to protect their secret(s): What does the character work to gain / keep / protect: Biggest fear:

Quirks: Seven things characters hate about others: (Physical appearance, behaviour, opinion etc.) Characters greatest virtue: Characters greatest vice: What vice and virtue does character like least in others: What is the worst crime anyone can commit according to character: What is a crime but should not be (if any) according to character: What are their pet peeves:

Prejudice: (Race, culture, sexuality, religion, alignment, class, profession etc.) Are they aware: Do they care:

Monogamous or uncommitted: If latter, honest with partner: Sexual behaviour: (Inhibited, average, experimental, reckless) Has this changed over the years: Why:

Political party / beliefs: What kind of government would they rather follow: Democracy / Monarchy / Anarchy / Aristocratic rule / Oligarchy / Matriarchy / Patriarchy Believe in fate / destiny: Any superstitions: Believe in magic, myth and the supernatural: Religion: Degree of commitment: Visibly religious or only personally: Defensive of faith/religion: Is/Was it the typical religion where they grew up/live: How did/does this affect them:

Does character know their family history: Their country’s history: Did they participate / shape / witness any of this: Any other interesting histories: (The church around the corner of their childhood home, their school, their current home etc.) Is character patriotic:

History:

Home town (and country if it differs from current): Stayed in one place or move around: What place did character like the most and why: The least: Childhood: (Happy, troubled, dull) Is it an accurate memory:

Earliest memory: Saddest memory: Happiest memory: Clearest memory: Not sure if true memory: Scariest memory: Most significant childhood event/memory: Other significant events/memories:

Have they committed a(several) crime(s): What did they do: Punishment: Falsely accused or not: Would they be capable of killing a person:

First crush: First sexual experience: Positive or negative: With another gender: Positive or negative: Other first sexual experiences: Positive or negative:

Major accidents or traumas: Still affected: How:

Family, Origin and Other Relations:

Mother: Full name + maidens name: Current status + age: Occupation (prior): Relation with character: Do they feel the same way: Prior marriages if any: Children from here: Socioeconomic background as a child:

Father: Full name: Current status + age: Occupation (prior): Relation with character: Do they feel the same way: Prior marriages if any: Children from here: Socioeconomic background as child:

Step-/foster-/birthparents: Character adopted (or otherwise did not live with their birth parents): Why: Do they know: Siblings: (Name, age, birth order, relation with each) Nieces / Nephews: In-Laws: Children: (Name, age, birth order, relation with each) Other important family: (Cousins, aunts/uncles, grandparents etc.) Ideal family (either future family or current):

Is there a black/white sheep of the family: Who: How did they end up like that: Does the character agree with this position: Is there a notorious or celebrated ancestor in the family: Do people’s opinion of the character change when they learn of their ancestry:

If married: Describe proposal: Describe meeting: Happy marriage: Nicknames for spouse: Prior romantic partners:

Best / closest friend: Same as in childhood: When did they meet: How did they become friends: Other close friends:

How is character perceived by / react to..: Friends: Strangers: Spouse / Lover: Past spouse / lovers: Children: Their children: Other family members: The opposite sex: Superiors: Inferiors: Service workers: Competitors: Authority: (Police, IRS, politicians, attorneys, doctors etc.) People who challenge them: People who anger them: People who ask for help: Most likeable trait: Biggest flaw:

Who do they dislike the most: Why: Do they have enemies: Like the most: Why: Most important person in their life: Why: Has it been others: Will it be others in the story:

Important people they lost contact with: Why: Worst end of relationship: Who do they rely on for practical advise: For emotional advise / support: Whom do they support:

Whom do they most admire: Biggest influence:

Career and Training:

Current occupation: Time employed: Location: Job title: Job satisfaction: Income Level: Education: Significant past jobs: Time in school: Type of school: Does character like school: Were they good in school: (GPA) Best subjects: Worst subjects: Did the character choose their own line of occupation or were they pushed by parents:

Skills: Intelligence level: Talents: What do they suck at:

Miscellaneous and Character Development:

Favourites and Least favourites: Food: Drink: Colour: Book: Movie: Music/song: TV: Sport: Motto/Quote: Hangouts: Possession: Smell: Taste: Sound: Animal:

Make your character choose / what fits the character best: Tear down / Build up Deliberate / Spontaneous Town / Country Deaf / Blind Logic / Emotion Greedy / Generous Humble / Obnoxiously proud Eat fast / savour Sweet / savoury Spicy / Bland Black-White reality / nuanced reality Leader / Follower Explain any/all of the above answers

What music do they listen to: When they are sad: When they work out: When in love: When cooking: On Public transport: What books do they like reading: Do they read the newspaper: What section:

What Hogwarts House would they be sorted into: If they committed a crime, what would it be (ignore if they have committed a crime): Which Avenger is their favourite: If they entered Hunger Games, what would be their strategy: Which FRIENDS character.. Are they: Do they want to be: Do they hate the most: It is movie-/TV-show marathon night, what do they watch: Who is their celebrity and fictional crush: What starter Pokemon would they choose: Does the type change with different gens: If they got a time machine, where would they travel first: Within their own life: If they could not visit their own life (would they visit past or future): What house would they belong to in A Song of Ice and Fire:

What can they not live without: Favourite Halloween costume: Favourite holiday: Best thing to do on a rainy day: How is their handwriting: Do they get motion sick, air sick, sea sick: Do they keep journals:

What is in their: Fridge: Purse / bag Backpack Wallet Medicine Cabinet Glove compartment Junk Drawer Locker Desk Pockets

What would be their 3 wishes from a genie: What is the top item on their bucket list: Imagine the character looking down at their feet, describe what they see: (What do they wear, where are they, what do they notice, what would other notice, does their neck hurt, do they like/dislike what they see etc.) If they had 24 hours to live, what would their last day consist of (alternatively, choose 5 things they would do before they die): How do they determine their passwords: Are they easy to figure out for other people:

Long term goals: Does character plan to achieve those: How: Why not: Will others be affected and does it matter to character: What is stopping character from reaching those goals: Do they achieve those goals: How does it change them: Was it as satisfying as they imagined: Short term goals: Does character plan to achieve those: How: Why not: Will others be affected and does it matter to character: What is stopping character from reaching those goals: Do they achieve those goals: How does it change them: Was it as satisfying as they imagined:

#this is based on various other character sheets #and my own questions #I hope this helps somebody #please reblog if using #or like #writing help #writer's block #character development #character template #character sheet #character help #writing #character building #original character #original writing #writers #write #writeblr

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sepickard · 4 years

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Isn’t It Ironic?

Isn’t It Ironic...

That one year ago I wrote my last post about choosing happiness and here I am wondering if I’m truly happy on my own. This time last year I thought I had met the man of my dreams and boy was I so wrong.

Christopher Henry Boboc or that asshole as I like to remember him by made me experience the worst heartbreak I had ever felt before from someone I truly believed was my soulmate. He had what I thought was everything I possibly needed or wanted in a man, I thanked god that someone like him loved me and I truly felt like he was my person. I filled my dreams with thoughts of us together, he told me he loved me and wanted to have my children. Unfortunately I believed him, but what hurt me most was my own failure to see who he was and that I had been tricked into there so called signs from God that we were soulmates. He ghosted me in the worst possible way and I was left clutching the broken pieces of my heart. It took me far longer to move on than I care to admit and I went through several hook-ups and relationships trying to numbing the pain all while telling myself I was okay.

Now here I am asking myself a year later if I have remembered to choose happiness. In all honesty I’m not sure I have and apparently giving myself grace is not something I’m very good at apparently. I am with a new man who is wildly different but also similar and so much better. Yet I’m questioning things, is it because I’m in a funk today, or that I’m comparing him to Christopher, or he isn’t the one, or perhaps I haven't quite learned true self love like I thought I had?

This morning I had therapy and mostly just cried for reasons I’m not entirely sure of, I mentioned problems with Zach but even in talking to her about them they all seemed insignificant as soon as the words escaped my mouth. I’m having problems trusting him even though he’s given me no reason not to yet my insecurities come crawling in that all men are liars and damn good ones at that. I went through his phone the other night and it cause an anxiety attack perhaps? If so mine aren’t the normal can’t catch your breath but instead the intense shaking as if I was sitting in an igloo in Alaska without a coat. There was really nothing there other than a girl who messaged him on instagram and he clearly wasn’t interested for he said he was too busy with work to be with her yet she kept coming back. Was it the girl or the fact that he had never mentioned her before? Perhaps it’s because he had told me he hadn't dated anyone in over a year and hadn’t even slept with anyone which only confuses me more and I pray that he told the truth because why lie? He knows everything I’ve done and even while we had started seeing each other.

I think the biggest problem maybe stems from a fear I had that came from Christopher and that Zach is terrible at texting at work and gets busy and we don’t talk. Do I really need him to keep me entertained? I freak when he’s on social media before messaging me, am I trying to control his time? Or is it really truly just rude? He tends to blow me up no problem but whenever I need to talk he’s busy or I don’t quite get the response that I would have given him. It’s something we’ve talked about constantly and I know he feels like I can be nagging, I hate that about myself too. My biggest fear is that I will constantly have to remind him to make me a priority and I will never feel the relief I need in talking to him about mundane everyday things the way he feels that relief. Unfortunately I haven’t even had that much going on and maybe that’s part of the problem. I am working on real estate classes and working for Brett which is honestly most of the time boring, not something I’m usually excited about. My biggest concern is that Zach will never put me before him that he will always be selfish, but aren’t I selfish for always wanting to be put first? It’s not even first it’s just being shown the same amount of interest.

Is it that I have other fears crowding my ability to look at Zach with fresh eyes or is it that we’re trying to hard for something that’s not right? I looked at Christopher and fell deeper in love with him with everything he did even when he was so weird. I felt it in every bone in my body and swore I knew he was the one. Was it all really just lust? Am I afraid to look at Zach the same way? Is he afraid to let himself fall? I know he cares so very much but I know even he holds back and is slower moving. Are relationships truly more mundane and I’ve been relying on guys to bring me joy instead of finding that joy myself?

So this is where is goes back to me choosing happiness except this time I’m learning to choose happiness for myself. I will do anything for someone else in a relationship and I love to learn and grow and feel adored and loved but maybe I’m putting more of me to the side than I realized. Hell even Zach notices that about me and he does know how to calm me and care for me more than I realize I needed. Is this a journey that has an end or will I always be fighting for it? I want that happiness and contentment and to be okay when I’m alone. Today could just be one of those emotional days but maybe it’s so much more.

I haven't been happy with my body weight even though I work out and try and eat healthy, I can certainly can continue to try harder to eat more protein and veggies as well as changing up my workout. It just seems to be getting to me, the same as it is that I seem to nitpick everything Zach does and get upset over no sex. When did I let it control my life so much? I want to enjoy every minute with Zach and let myself fall because I do have such strong feelings for him. We have the same faith, political views, creative minds, goofy personality, he pushes and challenges me, there are so many good things so why do I always focus on the negative? Why do I try and make him perfect as if that will fix everything, what about myself? What am I doing wrong that’s making me question something so good and so real? I get bored or I don’t hear from him and it’s like I’m ready to throw hands. What’s happened to me? Can I rewrite my definition of true love? I still want those butterflies and laughter and to erase all doubt. Am I protecting myself too much or just forcing him to be something he’s not when he’s shown me so much good in him? I don’t feel like I deserve it sometimes and hell I know he doesn’t deserve half the shit I put him through. I crave the drama and the emotions of life but I want to choose something new. Help me to choose happiness and joy and good stressors in life, not just the ones that are overly emotional. I want to be attached to Zach in a healthy way and if he’s not meant for me then Lord please show him the door. I have so much uncertainty and I wish I felt like I did with Christopher, what I thought true love was meant to be so help me to let that go and learn again.

If Zach isn’t able to give me what I need I need to be happy no matter what and I should figure out a way to get there all on my own. I don’t want that to be the case, I know I’m his best friend I just want him to truly be mine. Lord help me to understand my heart and if I’m pushing him too much or if this is right. I know I ask for so much help and answers and maybe that’s wrong but we’re all just trying to figure it out. How funny that a boy who left me made me think I was the happiest and now a boy who has proven he’s here to stay makes me question it all. It’s time to say goodbye to the drama and figure out how to choose me and my own happiness, I pray Zach stays along for the ride.

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gethealthy18-blog · 6 years

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188: Saunacast: How We Took Control of Our Healthcare and Insurance (& Saved Money)

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/188-saunacast-how-we-took-control-of-our-healthcare-and-insurance-saved-money/

188: Saunacast: How We Took Control of Our Healthcare and Insurance (& Saved Money)

It is no secret that we live in a world where we face a lot of potentially harmful things on a daily basis. From plastic exposure to all of the additives in our food system and even over-exposure to blue-light, our bodies face a lot each day.

These, and many other factors, may help explain why we’re seeing such a drastic rise in so many challenging health conditions that don’t respond to a simple cause>symptom>treatment medical model. In this Saunacast, Katie and Heather Dessinger share how they (and their families) have both faced unconventional health problems and the great lengths (and expense) it took to find results.

The Two Factors That Changed Everything

Katie’s struggle with Hashimoto’s and Heather’s family struggles with other health issues led them to a lot of research. This also set in motion a long process of trying to find doctors and practitioners within the traditional insurance model who understood the complexities of these conditions.

Eventually, frustrated by the inability to work within the system, they both considered an unconventional approach that finally led to answers (and to saving a lot of money in the long run!) Today, they share the system that has worked for both of them and how to customize this system to work for your family.

Concierge Medicine

Using a concierge model for a primary care doctor, both Katie and Heather were able to find a doctor who had the time and expertise to help with their health challenges. The benefits are that these doctors know their entire medical history and have fewer patients and more time for each patient. Having more time means these doctors actually have the bandwidth to research and specialize in specific conditions and challenges.

Thanks to technology, these doctors are available whenever they are needed via email, text, or video chat and can work with specialists in their local area when needed.

They each now pay a small monthly fee to have their doctor available whenever needed, and there are no additional copays, charges for talking to the doctors, or other unusual fees (other than external fees like labs, which are done through inexpensive local options).

Healthcare Sharing

The other piece that made their plan work was switching to health care sharing instead of traditional insurance. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, here’s the basic gist:

Instead of paying money to an insurance company each month, they each now send money directly to a person or family who has a medical need that month. In the event that one of their families has a medical event or bill that meets the criteria, they submit the bill and other members send them checks to cover the bills. This has been really beneficial for several reasons:

This makes them technically “self-pay” in the eyes of most medical establishments. Many places offer a steep self-pay discount (80% in some locations) with an additional discount for paying that day.

Since health care sharing is substantially cheaper than insurance, they put the extra money in a savings account and use it if needed to pay a bill the day the charge is incurred to get the discount.

The entire amount is then reimbursed.

Katie and Heather both use Samaritan Ministries which is a Christian organization (though there are many different options that are reviewed in depth here). If you decide to check out Samaritan Ministries, let them know Heather Dessinger referred you! A new organization called Knew Health is opening soon and is not faith-based but focused on those interested in being healthy (which also reduces health care costs).

But, What About the Costs?

Glad you asked. This was one of the biggest benefits of switching, besides the better health care and actually finding answers. Here’s an example…

Before switching to this system, Katie and her family were paying over $800/mo for insurance. This is when they were newly married and this amount was a large part of their monthly income, but since they were in the phase of life of having kids, they saw it as their only option. But it had a deductible of $5,000 and only covered 80% after that, so in any year with a medical event or a baby born, they came out of pocket over $15,000 (insurance monthly premiums + deductible + percentage they paid). And the insurance often didn’t cover the doctors they wanted to see, the type of birth Katie wanted to have, or many basic labs.

Comparatively, they now pay just under $500/mo for Samaritan, plus about $200/mo for them all to have access to SteadyMD. This works out to around $8,000 a year and they don’t end up paying any more out of pocket when someone breaks a bone, has a baby, or even has major surgery.

As an example, when Katie’s husband’s appendix ruptured years ago, leading to surgery and a long hospital stay the initial bill was over $132,000. The self-pay discount + paying up front got it down to around $12,000 which was entirely reimbursed by Samaritan and they didn’t end up paying out of pocket for it.

Will It Work for Everyone?

Short answer… no. But this combination may be a great option especially for certain types of people:

Entrepreneurs who will pay huge monthly premiums for independent insurance

Those who tend to focus on wellness and preventative care vs. visiting the doctor for everything

Anyone who prefers home birth but it isn’t covered by traditional insurance

Those who don’t use medical care often and prefer to save money

This is definitely an outside-the-box solution though options like this are becoming more available and more common. Anyone considering these should do their research, call, and ask questions and make sure that any plan or program is truly a good fit.

How about you? Do you have any experience with directing your own healthcare in this way? Ever used a healthcare sharing organization or concierge medicine? Please share your tips and experience in the comments!

Please take two minutes to leave a review on iTunes. I value knowing what you think and this helps other moms find the podcast as well!

Special Thanks to Today’s Sponsors

This episode is brought to you by Perfect Keto. I have heard from a lot of you who are trying the keto diet right now. And Perfect Keto has several products that make it so much easier and tastier. They have keto-friendly sports drinks with zero additives, zero carbs, and only high-quality ingredients. And I’ve gotten so many questions about this. They also have exogenous ketones that raise blood ketone levels up to 1.5 millimoles per liter. So that would be simulating a fast. A lot of people use these exogenous ketones to increase mental performance, and energy production, and fat burning without the need to do extended fasting. And Perfect Keto really just helps make ketosis available to everyone, everywhere, all the time without the need to do extended fasting, like I said. You can check out these and all of their other products at perfectketo.com/healthymoms. And if you use the code HEALTHYMOMS, all uppercase, you can save 20% on any order.

This podcast is brought to you by Joovv. This is a super bright red light that I have in my bathroom and that I use daily to help my skin, hair and brain all be their best. Here’s the deal… we’re exposed every day to cellular stressors like blue light, environmental toxins and EMFs that can reduce how efficiently our cells work. Joovv combines red and near infrared light (without the heat of a sauna) in a single product that lets me combat the negative effects of the modern world (and combat wrinkles) in just a few minutes a day. I’ve talked to a ton of people who love this light as much as I do and say it has helped improve their skin and hair, tighten skin and even lead to better sleep and libido. It has a lifespan of 50,000+ hours so it will truly last a lifetime and it is one of the easiest things I do for my health. Joovv is third party tested and FDA approved and you can Check out the many benefits at joovv.com/wellnessmama and get a special gift with any purchase just for being a Wellness Mama podcast listener!

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/saunacast-healthcare/

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