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#like get off my account im serious
proxythe · 2 months
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defending kotone shiomi on the internet isnt enough. i need a gun
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waterbottlqueen · 10 months
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my repost policy is: no reposts. except if youre me LMAO 
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possiblytracker · 11 months
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sighs. i need to reopen commissions
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angry-geese · 1 year
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Me when the HBO max account I've been mooching off of for almost a year and haven't contributed a single cent towards paying for doesn't renew for the month of February:
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castielfucks · 9 months
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not sure how to feel about this new brand of comedy where you have to buy tickets to watch someone read memes/comics from a screen. am I missing something. am I an old man yelling at cloud. being gen.
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zemnarihah · 9 months
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i got pulled over and i have to go to court i think
#she came up and i was shitting myself and then she was like just letting you know you have a tail light out:) and i was so relieved and then#she asked for my license and then she came back and was like so your registration is super expired and im giving you a citation. and you#have to call this number#and theres no fine listed but like. i think i literally have to go to court. and theyre definitely giving me a fine there right? idk i#looked it up and i think the lowest i could possibly get is 200 dollars but it could be like a thousand.#it literally says that if i dont call they will issue a warrant for my arrest how fucking insane is that#the cop had a tattoo on her arm that said 'ill keep you safe' keep me safe from what my big bad expired registration#keep me safe from having a good day. or having a savings account. cool thanks#do you think if i like. fake my death and name her in a suicide note and like put in it that my last wish is for someone to tell her it was#her fault. that would probably sufficiently emotionally scar her right#also im kind of worried abt my job i think they did background checks when i got hired and idk if this is smth that would effect it but lik#its not just a ticket i think its literally a crime. like i think i have a record now and i dont know if im allowed to HAVE that at my job#im probably just doom spiraling ik but like.#i just feel so STUPID like i knew it was expired i just keep forgetting and putting it off and oh ill try and do it in the next couple week#and ive been doing that for MONTHS#but also WHY is it that serious who CARES if a vehicle is registered. does it literally matter at all like genuinely how could it effect ou#society. like how am i harming anyone.#whatever. im an outlaw. ive been watching cowboy movies and romanticizing outlaws so i guess this is what i get. im an outlaw and i am goin#to go register my car.
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pierregazly · 2 months
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the bookworm ꨄ george russell smau
george russell x bookworm/writer!reader
the one where george couldn't be prouder to call you his, even if it seems like the whole world hates you just for doing what you love... even if they don't know the whole truth.
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georgerussell63
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tagged yourusername
liked by yourusername, alex_albon, f1wags, and others
georgerussell63 enjoyed the time off! would never complain about spending time with my best friend, time to get back into things 💪🏎
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username gotta go check off 'george posts shirtless pics during off szn' on my bingo card
username gotta go check off 'yn cares more about her own hobby than her bf' on my bingo card
username girl you got issues with books? can't read?
alex_albon bad hair day? or are hats your new thing
yourusername tried to convince him to go with the bucket hat, but he claims 'all the kids are wearing caps babe'
username girlypop can't even enjoy a holiday with george without being focused on anything other than him??
username he's literally NECKING her in one of the photos?????? do you want her to koala hold him everywhere???
username future wdc russell george and his future writer wife frfr
username 1/2 of these things are probably true and we both know it's not the second lol
yourusername spoiling me always, my handsome handsome man 💗
georgerussell63 wouldn't have spent the last few weeks with anyone else (even if you kick me in your sleep nightly)
username do you think yourusername pictures george as the main male character in any of the books she reads???
username if i can picture him in fanfiction, im sure she pictures him in everything else???
gisèlerosebooks
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liked by yourusername, lilymhe, username, and others
gisèlerosebooks first time being on any device since my trip with my favourite person ended. the love on collided continues to amaze me, and i'm so extremely honoured to continuously receive so much love from not only the reading community, but many of the formula 1 faithful as well. this is NOT the end of the journey, either. for now, let the formula 1 season begin... and maybe find me at a race or two? 🤭
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gisèlerosebooks oh and to my incredible, amazing, handsome boyfriend, thank you so much for always proofreading my formula 1 terminology and understanding. i promise i'll give you real credit one day.
username god adrien is so charles leclerc coded, he's all i could think about this entire book
lilymhe 🏎🫶🏻
username the fact i literally could've cared less about the lil zoom zoom cars before the dirty air series dropped and now im eager for the new season.... gisèle baby why u do this to me
username miss girl???? how are we supposed to find you at any races when we don't even know what you look like!!!
username jealous of gisèle's bf is!!! his gf is too talented for the world
username not throttled being the book to get me back into reading and now i'm blessed wth a second book??? mother is mothering real hard
username this is the type of book series i'd totally read at the track and imagine an f1 driver as my husband sry
username 10/10 book!!! dying!!!
yourusername has posted a story
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liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe, bestfrienduser, and others
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georgerussell63 wow we're so lucious and hot
yourusername luscious sweetie
georgerussell63 god i love having a hot, smart, book-writer gf. write a book about me and use that word
yourusername they're all already about you??? (handsome)
username you showed up to a race?????? shocking
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gisèlerosebooks has posted a story
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liked by georgerussell63, username, username, and others
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username omg!!!! where are you!!! dying to meet you omfg
username YOU WERE SERIOUS
georgerussell63 i saw u slip up and post this on the og account loser
georgerussell63 can i have my scooter back ya nerd
gisèlerosebooks no sorry </3 i own it now
georgerussell63 no creds in the books and now my scooter stolen???? you hate the british
gisèlerosebooks my pseudonym is an ODE to you PAL
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georgerussell63
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tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks
liked by yourusername, gisèlerosebooks, lilymhe, and others
georgerussell63 a shame that this weekend didn't go the way we all wanted it to go, i know for a fact we'll be coming out on top soon! i also know yourusername or as most of you seem to prefer (for no valid reason at all) gisèlerosebooks is pretty deep in finishing book 3 and apparently this weekend was super influential??? go me (give me book creds)
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yourusername george!!! lmao!!!
yourusername a heads up next time??? maybe?!?
username 'for no valid reason at all' so SASSY oh boy
username everyone on twitter the other day calling yourusername a freeloader is soooo not doing well rn
lilymhe the secret's out!!!! (shocked, baffled, wild, can i get my books signed now)
username (G)isèle (R)ose... (G)eorge (R)ussell... dare i say... deliberately done
yourusername 🤭
username amazing race this weekend!!! can't wait to see you on top
username no one talking about book 3 almost being done??? or the fact george proofreads all her writing??? so cute
charles_leclerc so collided... is not about me?
georgerussell63 get lost mate
yourusername has posted a story
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georgerussell63 you think im a gentleman??? love you
yourusername the BIGGEST gentleman, i love you
username god this is so cute
georgerussell63
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tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, username and others
georgerussell63 that's my little freeloading, best-selling author and future wife!
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username someone come get this chronically online man rn!!
yourusername can i be your freeloader forever??? spending my own money sucks
georgerussell63 my money's your money always my little freeloader
alex_albon emphasis on the best-selling author and future wife part
georgerussell63 you're right mate
username re-reading dirty air and knowing fully the entire book series is about george makes me so happy omg
username proud to admit i loved yourusername before AND after she was revealed as everyone's fav author (and it's not just a hobby losers)
username george doesn't get book creds until he wins a race again :)
yourusername i love this stipulation!!! georgerussell63 thoughts?
georgerussell63 you hate the british.
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i had SO much fun writing this!!! i picked george after going down a george rabbit hole again (of course), so i hope you all love it!! thanks for all the love always.
i'm not necessarily taking requests right now, but if you have suggestions please feel free to send them my way.
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laaailuh · 9 months
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hiii, i love your stuff! I was wondering if you can do a fic about miles getting upset because reader is getting too much attention from other guys on a post 😺
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"Delete it."🕸️🕷️
pairing: e!42 miles x black!reader
warnings: light swearing, argument, possessiveness
Summary:  Miles gets upset because you're receiving too much attention from other guys on a bikini post.
a/n: im trying to get these requests done
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I saw it, you can delete it now
???
your new post
hell nah 💀
Seen
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Incoming facetime call from Miles💕
“So you gon' delete it or not?"
“Why would I do that?”
“Cause niggas are commenting some crazy shit and ion like dat.”
“I can't tell if you’re actually being serious right now.”
“Dead ass.”
“Well, I’m not deleting it.”
He rubbed his face in frustration. “I'm not tryna argue with you baby.”
“Then don't?”
“Look, the way these guys are talking under there is making it seem like they don't know you wit' someone."
“I'm sure they do, I tagged your account on my boobs.”
He scrunched his face and then opened up your post again.
“Oh shit, you did.”
You rolled your eyes, "Yeah dumbass."
“Ight, what if you disable the comments?”
“Bye Miles.” You said and hung up the call.
This nigga really don't give up.
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As you were wiping off your makeup, you heard your bedroom door open.
"Yo."
Turning your head towards the voice, you saw your boyfriend standing next to the doorway.
"Who let you in?"
"Your mamma did."
You turned your head back around, facing your vanity.
He sat on the edge of your bed. "I'm sorry about earlier, I realized I was being possessive and controlling."
"Damn right."
He turned your chair sideways, "It’s hard to apologize if you're not looking at me Ma."
You sighed and put your wipes down.
"I bought your shein and sephora cart, should be coming in two weeks or so."
A genuine smile spread across your lips, "You did?"
"Wow, look who's smilin'? Hopefully you can drop this little attitude f'me then."
"You know I was gonna forgive you either way? Kinda just played your self right there."
Miles grinned and pulled you onto his lap.
"Mhm...did I mention how sexy you looked in those photos?"
You shook your head.
He took your hand and kissed your knuckles. "Bueno, te lo digo ahora, princesa." (Well i'm telling you now, princess.")
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suiana · 3 months
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(yandere! pathetic simp x gn! asshole reader) (i love asshole reader sm like...)
SUIANA: WHERES MY HUSBAND
YNMYBELOVED: SHUT UP NO ONE CARES!!!
YOU: both of yall shut up wtf
YOU: noisy 💀
YNMYBELOVED: sorry babe 😞
you scoff at your group chat, rolling your eyes before proceeding to message something that will break your lover's heart.
YOU: im not ur babe anymore
YOU: go fidn another
SUIANA: find*
*YOU HAVE KICKED SUIANA OUT OF THE CHAT!*
YNMYBELOVED: wait what
YNMYBELOVED: are u serious
hell yeah you were serious. i mean, he was fun for a bit but then he got too clingy and annoying. sure his wallet was fat but still. it did NOT outweigh the fact that he literally broke into your apartment because you joked about finding someone else.
you couldn't allow him to get any closer. he's too dangerous for just a bit of casual fun. you had to prioritize yourself! that's why you were breaking things off with him...
through text of all things. how considerate.
YOU: yeah i dont like u anymore
YOU: bye
you then turn off your phone, cackling as you scroll through your discord messages for another victim. hm... this one's cute. maybe you'll-
what?
you can't message them?
you squint at your phone, still attempting to message your next victim. why's it not working? everything was fine just a few minutes ago... so why did it stop working now? did you get banned?
no way... you adhered to all the rules and regulations. there's no way you could've been banned!
...
then it all clicks to you, your ex boyfriend. of course he would do something like this.
you sigh, slumping back in your seat as you stare at your phone screen that slowly gets covered in texts full of desperate messages. damn it, why'd he have to be so gifted in technology?
'pls take me back'
'i'll change i swear'
'just don't leave me'
you roll your eyes at his texts, hoping it would end sooner rather than later. geez, this is more of an annoyance than a scare. you seriously thought your account was banned for a second.
you turn on your laptop, deciding to scroll reddit to pass time when all of a sudden, a hand wraps around your mouth, pinning you to your chair. a familiar and pathetic voice floods your ears as you try to squirm out of his grip.
"d-darling please... don't leave... I'll die without you!"
shit, you knew you should've moved away after the first time he broke into your house.
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hysteria-things · 3 months
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hi! i recently found your account, and i js wanna say omg ur so talented, like ur fr my new fav writer. could u maybe write something about a virgin reader, whos only ever fingered herself, and so when matt (or chris but im a matt girl and im being self indulgent about this), and she squirts, and is super embarrassed about it and he comforts her about it? u dont have to, but idk i js think u could do this idea rlly well:)
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FIRST TIME
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: soft dom!matt x virgin!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and matt have been together for quite sometime, but never had sex. he knows you’re a virgin and he’s so patient with you, but now you think you’re ready
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT but fluff!, making out, mini panic attack, praising, p in v, squirting
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,066
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: for anon and @mattsleftnipple03
these were pretty much the same so i combined them! hope you like :)
thank you and love you guys🫶
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the pen in your hand scribbles on the piece of paper in front of you as you ponder. you’re in art class and your best friend sits across from you at the big table.
art class is basically a free period because let’s face it, you guys don’t do anything except gossip and draw for fun.
you’ve been asking your friend a series of questions about what losing your virginity is like since she has experience. the only experience you’ve ever gotten was your fingers, and to be honest, it gets old after a while.
you’re not embarrassed about being a senior in high school and still a virgin, but your boyfriend who graduated last year lost his with his ex a while back. you guys have talked about having sex for the first time for quite some time, but you were never ready.
no words can describe how grateful you are for matt. he’s been super patient and understanding with you.
but now, you think you’re ready.
“is there a reason you are asking me these questions?” your best friend asks, raising a brow.
you shrug, your hand still having a mind of its own with the pen. “i’m thinking about going all the way with matt.”
she smiles, genuinely looking happy for you. “oh my god! when?”
“i told him i plan on this weekend.”
“that’s so exciting!”
“yeah, but,” you pause to take a deep breath. “i feel nervous.”
she reaches over to stop your drawing hand. “it’s totally normal to feel nervous. matt’s such a sweet guy. i’m sure if you feel the slightest bit of discomfort, he’ll stop immediately.”
you smile at the mention of your boyfriend. she’s not wrong. matt will do anything to make you feel comfortable. he’s not one to force anything on someone. “you’re right.”
she gives your hand a light squeeze. “let me know how it goes.” she winks just as the bell rings for dismissal.
the rain outside is pattering on the window, you and matt cuddling comfortably on his bed. you guys just woke up from the best nap of your life.
you nibble on the inside of your mouth. “matt?”
“hm?” he hums, picking up his head that was resting on your chest.
“i want to do it.”
he beams at you. “positive?”
you bite your lip in excitement and nod. matt lifts himself to get more serious. “don’t be afraid to tell me to stop, okay?”
“i know,” you reply. he leans in and kisses you passionately with a hint of hunger. he breaks the kiss to take off his and your shirt but goes back at it to unclip your bra.
the skin-to-skin contact felt warm and comforting, but your anxiety is starting to take over.
you try to brush it off until matt reaches for your pants. yanking his hands away, you cover your top half with the comforter as you feel tears start to form.
matt freezes, a hint of guilt on his face. you try your best to take as many deep breaths as possible. “i’m so sorry, y/n.”
he carefully places his hand on your arm and rubs soothingly to calm you down. “n-no it’s not you.” you take three deep breaths before continuing. “it’s silly. the thought of a penis about to be inside of me freaks me out.”
you chuckle along with him, the humor helping you relax. “we don’t have—”
“i want to.” you say truthfully. “i just need a second.”
he goes through different breathing techniques with you until you calm down from your mini panic attack. he asks if you're okay at least a hundred times before you shut him up by kissing him again.
he hesitates with your pants not wanting to trigger you again, but after a beat, he pulls them down with your underwear.
his pajama pants soon end up on the floor with the rest of your clothes. he comes under the blanket with you and pecks you on the temple, grabbing a condom from the nightstand. “so proud of you.” he starts, making you blush. “you ready?”
you give him the okay, and he slowly starts pushing into you. the stretch makes you cringe and hiss, causing him to halt. “hurts?”
you shake your head. “pressure… keep going.”
dampening your lips by licking them, he continues to move. his eyes are dead set on your face to sense any discomfort. you let out a ‘mmph’ when he’s all the way in.
when he doesn’t see any bad signs, he starts moving his hips. you moan softly, the pain turning into pleasure.
“you can go faster,” you whisper, and he does. your nails leave crescent marks on his shoulders as he peppers kisses on your chest, neck, and face.
you squeeze your eyes closed, the softest of sounds leaving your lips. then, your legs twitch, and a watery liquid squirts out of you. your eyes widen, and matt stops the second he notices. “what’s wrong? need me to stop?”
“no. i think i…” your cheeks burn, too embarrassed to admit what you’re thinking.
“that’s okay. it’s completely natural.” he reassures, grabbing one of your hands to interlock with his above your head. “you’re doing so well, y/n. so fucking proud of you.”
he continues to rock his hips, this time pulling out more and thrusting back in a smidge harder. “oh.” you moan, arching your back when he starts hitting a certain spot. “oh shit, matt. just like that.”
he tries his best not to pick up speed to scare you, so instead he keeps the rhythm you’re comfortable with. he grunts, taking the hand that’s not holding yours and placing it on your hip.
the grip you have on his hand tightens, indicating that you’re close when his tip keeps abusing your g-spot.
you whimper, your legs starting to quiver from pleasure. “i’m close.”
“cum, baby. you’re doing such a good job.”
you sigh of relief when your cum slowly starts to ooze around him. matt’s right there with you with just a few more thrusts before spilling into the condom.
the feeling of him pulling out of you makes you wince, but then you two giggle. “i did it!” you say proudly, holding up your hand to give him a high five.
he laughs. “damn right you did.” he takes your high five, followed by a handhold.
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72
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judithhhh · 2 months
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playing a prank where you refuse to hold Judes hand and he gets soo frustrated and confused and its just cute
prank (one-shot)
jude x reader
summary : read the request :)
( whoever wrote the request, hope you like it!)
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as any girlfriend would, when you saw this tiktok prank you just knew you had to do it with jude. of course you didn't want to drag out too far in fear of really upsetting the man but refusing to hold his hand a few times wouldn't hurt anyone right?
first time you did it, you had settled the camera on a piece of furniture facing the couch and had settled in it. you knew jude would come join you and would try to hold your hand any time soon. as you expected, the boy was by your side not even a minute later, his hand naturally falling into yours as it always did. expect this time, you quickly removed it and reached for the remote. you tried to ignore his offended eyes flashing towards you and his huff as you searched for something to watch. you were only in the fifteen first minutes of the movie and you had already avoided his hand a good ten times, each time angering more and more jude. he had enough when he pulled you in his lap and tried to hold your hand resulting in you literally jumping off the couch to avoid it.
"baby, what the fuck is wrong with my hand" he exclaimed in pure confusion
"i don't know what you're talking about jude, im just watching the movie?"
you saw in his eyes that he did not believe your statement but he chose not to say anything else. for the rest of the movie, he was petty and sat at the other end of the couch avoiding your touch and your eyes. you subtly removed your phone halfway through the movie and was now giggling at judes reactions you had caught on camera. the man was flabbergasted everytime you did it and even ended up rolling his eyes sassily at you a few times. you posted the video on your tiktok account and laughed when you imaged his reaction when he was going to watch it.
"what you're giggling for bro?
"bro? im not your mate jude"
"you've been acting like one though" he mumbled thinking you wouldn't hear him, which you did
his sentence made you feel a bit bad for him but you decided to continue your prank until he saw your tiktok. jude wasn't a big social media person so the prank was dragged out a lot more than you expected. you avoided holding his hand when you two went to talk a walk, telling him that you supposedly had to hold your water bottle. then you refused to take his hand when you cuddled in bed, pretending that you just painted your nails.
jude wasn't that dumb. he knew you didn't paint your nails and he knew you didn't drink that much water at all. he started to get worried that maybe he had sweaty hands or even smelly ones. he must have went to wash his hands a good four times per hour since the beginning of the day, and he was getting sick of it. the petty side of him took over when you, almost violently, ripped your hand away from his in the car. that wasn't normal, it was always the same thing when he drove with you by his side. he would put his hand on your thigh and you would laced you fingers between his. he got tired of it so he just didn't make the first move for the rest of the day, only touching you when you initiated the contact. the lack of interactions with you made him scroll on social media a lot more than usual, until quite late when you two were getting ready for bed. that's when he stumbled your tiktok and then rushed to see you in the bathroom.
"you're a prankster now huh?" he said in a serious tone
your eyes flashed towards his as you felt like you were getting scolded by a teacher or something.
"sooo, you saw the video"
"that was honestly so immature"
you giggled when the words escaped from your boyfriend, probably the most immature person you knew.
"it was just a prank baby, you gotta admit it was funny"
"funny?? my love i almost died today" he said in a dramatic tone
"awww, you just can't stand being away from me can't you?" you said, mocking him a bit
"nevermind leave me alone"
jude grumbled as he walked back into your room, murmuring things like he wouldn't talk to you again or that you didn't deserve him. you followed him and wrapped your arms around his back as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"judeee don't be mad come on"
he didn't say anything but you felt him melt under your touch. he hesitantly reached for your hand and sighed when you held it back.
"yeah you better hold my hand you witch"
"don't call me that you twat"
"don't prank me you fool"
you untagged your arms from him but was quickly pulled back into him.
"you think you're getting away from me after what you pulled today?"
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junglemindless · 10 months
Text
okay, so. i have loved pjo since i was 12 and this can definitely be explained also by the fact percy is so freaking hot. this days i was thinking about our boy and just have to share some of the stuff i thought about him in all this years. here we go with some headcanons of bf percy and percy in general;;
• i have a thing for silver chain necklaces. you know, one of this things every hot guy has? yeah. percy does wears one. his mother give it to him probably. and he never takes it off. it reflects the sun when he's surfing, stands out on his tanned skin, touches your face when he's on top of you kissing you or whatever else
• percy IS an nba obsessed. he will invite you to watch the games with him and will give you his personal opinion about the players, the moves, even the uniforms if you want to know.
• he secretly is zodiac guy. like, in front of his friends or any public conversation he will deny it. but if you're into it, and just says something like "our zodiact signs are compatible!" he'll be happy about it and feel like he's part of something magical, you know? like he's known all along that you're supposed to be together.
• talking about interests: he definitely will listen with heart eyes whatever you talk about. books? shows? basketball or another sport? celebrities drama? taylor swift folklore's love triangle? he's here for it. laying on his bed with you sitting by his side telling him about it, and he's just staring at your beautiful eyes and playing with your hair
• he also love movies. he has an letterboxd account which he is religiously active on. also, he give extra stars to the movies you watch togheter just because he is on a good mood.
• btw, when he's calling you to watch a movie, it is to watch a movie. boy take the movies thing really serious.
• he will be watching barbie AND oppenheimer. and he will take you to both.
• percy can't sleep without being tangled with you. he's an huge touchy guy, bear hugs, forehead kisses, hands on your waist, head laying down on your chest. he just loves the feeling of your body with him
• bro is an biology princess. is the only thing he really found interesting. he loves nature, the sea, the animals.... everybody knows he's going to do marine biology. he's not an working-on-office-all-day type of person so 99% of chance of him working saving marine animals on an research group.
• his instagram profile would totally be about animals he saved. him just doing ✌️🤘👉👍with some type of turtle or an aquarium of clown fishes
• you gave him different marine stuffed animals and he keeps it on his shelf, right on the side of a picture of you and him on a beach day.
• as soon as he gets money, he will take you to a summer on greece.
• he is so fucking loyal. he CAN'T like anyone else. he just thinks about you. in a way that is almoust obsessive.
• also, kind jealous. okay, im trying to be nice with him, he's very very jealousy guy. not because he doesn't trust you or your love for him, but because he doesn't trust other people. at least, thats what he says everytime he sees this one friend of yours
• percy is a tattoo guy. he will have symbols, greek words, abstract stuff, strong animals.... and your initials on his chest once he knows for sure you're here to stay.
• i saw that jeremy allen white keeps a letter of his wife with him to read when he's missing home and i just can't get it out of my mind. percy will totaly take a small peace of paper with something you wrote to him when he's traveling to research or smth and read it before going to sleep 😫😫😫
humm alright. i think that's it for today. i love percy he's so fucking sweet. also, english is not my first language and i had never write for tumblr before soooooo sorry for anything.
hope you enjoyed and stuff 💪
HEY! we have a part. 2 :)
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satoruyes · 3 months
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co-parent bakugou
katsuki bakugou x reader (part two)
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   fwb! bakugou who often came by your dorm during college to drop off school work when you missed lectures and loads when you missed him.
fwb! bakugou who came by before bed to fuck you into your pillow and listen to your hushed moans, hushed so your roommates wouldn’t hear. (they did)
fwb! bakugou who’s scared of committing because he “couldn’t see you in his future” and was too focused on his.
fwb! bakugou who’s late night visits became more and more scarce.
fwb! bakugou who months later soft launches his new partner on his story after telling you he’s not ready for a relationship.
fwb! bakugou who stops breathing at the sight of your name popping up on his phone as he cuddles his partner while watching movies, and nearly has a stroke at the “Im pregnant.” text. 
_____
“well are ya sure it’s mine?” he asks, not daring to look away from you. you break eye contact and look outside the coffee shops’ window to focus on anything other than this conversation you’ve been dreading. “are you serious? you should know i’m not exactly one to sleep around,” you say to the man. he nods and his grip on his mug gets tighter, knuckles visibly whiter. “well, are ya keepin’ it,” he asks, “i don’t think  that’d be a bright idea for either of us.” you kind of glare but think over his words. “you know how my parents feel about abortion kats.. i’d be disowned. the second the press found out about it, my family would be done for,” your eyes start to water and a tear threatens to fall, you pause “.. i thought you said you don’t do relationships?”
katsuki stares at you and shakes his head, “those fuckin’ hormones already getting to your brain or somethin?“ he sighs, “you know i can’t do this *nickname*. i’m in a committed relationship with raya, we’re getting engaged next month. on top of that, i can’t be number one with a baby leechin’ of me.” your heart drops, “you’re.. getting engaged? i.. um.. well, congratulations. i’m sorry to burden you with all of this… and i can’t abort it anyway.. i.. i’m too far along.. and i cant do this.” you finish & get up from the table and leave.
________
baby daddy! bakugou who ends up losing contact with you for months after you block him on everything a refuse to meet up per your family’s request.
baby daddy! bakugou who nearly forgets about you years later til kirishima brings you up and shows him your instagram.
baby daddy! bakugou who gets home and stalks you from a burner account, finds out you still talk to everyone from college but him.
baby daddy! bakugou who sees a pretty little ruby-eyed girl down your timeline, her resemblance to him uncanny.
baby daddy! bakugou who pulls some strings and texts your number asking to meet his daughter, hana. 
___________
hana is 2 years old by now, forming choppy sentences and now waddling on her feet. after a week of texting, you finally fold and let him come over to meet his daughter. when you open the door to let him in he nearly finds himself choking on his spit at how beautiful you are. you looked even better than your posts, if that’s possible. you greeted him with a nod and invited him in. he takes his shoes off and head to the living room you led him to. you exchange stale pleasantries and small talk til you decide to go get your baby girl. “her name is ‘hana lei bakugou,’ as much as i wanted her to have my last name.”
you walk over to him and hand her to him, noticing the wedding band resting around his ring finger. you scoff, “wow so you two actually got married?” he nods and analyzes his daughters’ features. “shes so pretty, just like ‘er momma,” he half smiles and look up at you. “so i’ll have her back later tonight, gonna take ‘er home to meet the wife and all of that.” he goes to get off the couch. “woah, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to come back back after all this time like nothing happened.” he looks frustrated for a second, “you can’t just- … yea yer right, ‘m sorry.’’
you nod, “how about we go up to her room and play?” he agrees and follows you into his daughter’s bedroom while carrying her.
“So.. how long have you two been in the area?” he asks, scanning his daughter's room. “I never really left, just moved closer to the city i guess,” you reply; putting hana down to the floor. She waddles over to katsuki. “hana, baby this is your father,” you look down at the little girl. At first she looks up at you with her glowing beady eyes then she looks over to Katsuki sitting over on a couch. “papa?” she asks and she points her dainty finger at him. you nod and smile. “yes baby, that's your papa.” 
katsuki looks at the little girl and she reaches up for him. “up.” she says, and he obliges. you two talk and rekindle for what seemed to be days. In reality it was just about 4 hours. “*name* it was really nice to see you again, let's go out for dinner sometime. with hana of course.” you lead him downstairs while he says his goodbyes to hana. 
-- 
“I told ya about this years ago raya, you can't be mad about this. What did you expect? for them to disappear?” bakugou yells at his wife. “well i didnt fucking expect you to go out of your way to to reach out either!” she pouts, anger and jealousy laced in her tone. “I have to own up to this responsibility now whether you like it or not, stop fuckin’ cursin’ at me. ‘m already stressed as is; ‘ion need yer bitchin’.” 
“oh so now i'm bitching because you went out and got some slut pregnant.. you're just full of it katsuki.” raya says, glaring at him now. “ya cant get mad at me because I wanna be a father, ‘nd not just leave some kid stranded out here.” 
“it's not just about the kid is it? do you miss the bitch or something? do you miss the sex? did she give you better head than I do?” raya accuses, bakugou sighs and goes to leave the room, “‘nd yea- she did give better head.” as he walks to their shared room he can hear her still yelling in the distance.
katsuki bakugou goes to sleep confused tonight. He wonders why was he such a prick. he wonders why did his heart pound so fast- why were his hands so sweaty when he saw you.
he couldn't do this. he has a wife. hes happily married, regardless of any arguments. his wife was the mayors daughter and promised him various things, she promised him glory. of course he didn't need her but it's definitely more helpful to have more "support." plus you hated him, only putting up with him for the sake of his daughter. no, it wasn't attraction- it was just nervousness. he loved his wife.
katsuki woke up to his wife, raya in his arms. she looked so pretty and peaceful like this. he snapped out of his daze and got out of bed to catch a shower. he couldn't help but find his hand reaching down to take care of himself. usually when he finds himself touching himself; its of thoughts of his wife from the night prior. but today it was you. he felt shameful but he just couldnt help it. he couldn't stop himself from thinking about you. hes only human.    
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povlnfour · 6 months
Text
ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 8
series masterlist | previous part
lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader
landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 207,567 others
landonorris 100th race, p2, and a nice little call with my girl to show off her flexibility. thank you austin
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user3 ‘MY GIRL’🥹🥹🥹
user7 I KNEWWW EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY
user9 lando have you seen what she’s done?
landonorris have friends? yeah pretty happy for her tbh
charles_leclerc p2 because the fia hates lewis and me*
user2 see everyone the boys are fine
landonorris keep crying mate
yourusername i actually hate you so bad rn
yourusername @/charles_leclerc SURE you don’t wanna date me instead?
user1 HELP Y/N AJDJDJSJ
user6 she said i’ve had ENOUGH
charles_leclerc make me that rice dish again and i’ll consider it
landonorris @/charles_leclerc you don’t even know what tteokbokki is called you don’t deserve her😤
yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by landonorris, lilymhe and 200,087 others
yourusername from monaco with love
👤 tagged alex_albon, lilymhe, charles_leclerc
only people yourusername follows can comment
alex_albon we need to have a serious conversation about how cute lily always looks in the photos you take and yet…. me…
lilymhe that’s just your face baby
charles_leclerc he’s not gonna know what hit him🤫
yourusername you could not have made this sound worse
charles_leclerc i’m quite enjoying being an accessory to internet drama
lilymhe do you know what’s rude? you spend one (1) second with a man and get a dating rumour… yet NOTHING when you hang w me!
yourusername FR we’ve been married for two years atp🙄
landonorris i know a Better place in monaco you can visit🧡
yourusername get your cute butt home and show me then
texts with charles ੈ✩‧₊˚
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y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by landonorris and 10,397 others
y/nupdates y/n at the airport today!! it seems she’s flying out to mexico for the upcoming grand prix 🩷
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user9 seriously? has everyone just forgotten she’s a cheater?
user3 and yet you follow fan accounts of her??? get a life
user7 ur actually miserable. lando hates u.
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y/nupdates any unnecessary hate comments will be deleted and you will be blocked🩷
user8 she’s so pretty even in the rain :( and she stopped to take photos with fans
user1 apparently someone gave her a necklace with an L on it and she put it straight on🥹
user8 @/user1 YOURE KIDDING THATS SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY
user1 THEY GAVE HER A MATCHING BRACELET FOR LANDO WITH HER INITIALS ON AS WELL!!!!
landonorris thank you admin for giving me a new lockscreen
user2 OH MY GOD ADMIN
y/nupdates 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 YOU ARE SO WELCOME
landonorris just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚
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tweet 4 should finish: hate towards those close to me*
tweet 6 should finish: blocked by my team**
twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚
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mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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mclaren from p17-p5. not the start to the weekend he wanted but he only went and turned it around🙌🏻
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user2 SO PROUDDDS
user9 all because of her….
user3 HAVE FUN GETTING BLOCKED LMAO
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user6 GUYS I THINK MCLAREN ACTUALLY BLOCKED THEM THE COMMENT ISNT SHOWING UP FOR ME LMAOOO
yourusername that’s my boy
mclaren we heard it had something to do with his lucky charm😉
user3 this isn’t taking a week off ma’am
yourusername had to support the boy. it starts now <3
y/nupdates just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚
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a/n:
OKAY this part was boring i am very sorry BUT there is onE OFFICIAL PART LEFT. it’ll be a long one i warn now but then there may be a mini epilogue of stuff i fully made up for next summer xxxx
thank you all for coming on this crazy ride with me — sorry it’s aLL OVER THE PLACE atm but it makes sense in my head ok
charles au is also otw next week and a one shot lando smau
taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicoranorca @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call
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banggyu0308 · 10 months
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genre: internet strangers to lovers, idol au, smut
warnings: nsfw under the cut, not very coherent, slutty yeonjun, dom!yeonjun, sexting, choking kink, pet names (baby), praise, drinking (they don't get THAT drunk, alright guys?), one night stand-ish, degradation, unprotected sex, breeding kink, handholding, cursing, dacryphilia, yeonjun lurks on social media TT, reader is bold ASF, not proofread
wc: 2.5k+
an: tysm for the username help @itgirlgyu TT + this is just for the delulus + @beomsl MEL YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE TALKED ABT PART OF THIS???? + i might title this later but who knows!!
taglist: @full-sunnies , @agustdiv1ne
yeonjun who likes to wear his tank tops to show off, loves heading onto moa twitter and tumblr after lives just to see the fandom having a meltdown... especially hard stan social media, watching all the comments and photos of himself show up. he likes being in control like this, having the power to make everyone else go crazy just by wearing something else that day.
he scrolls and scrolls and one specific post pops up, it's community labeled and when he clicks 'keep reading', he can see why; pretty tits on display from the original poster, comments in the tags all about how she's all his, and he's not very surprised to feel himself growing hard in his pants. yeonjun eyes the username, ready to click the blue-fonted 'follow' button, but it's already gone, and his eyes widen to see that it's an account he's been following and interacting with for a while. that fact only makes it better, and he's clicking to his chat with you before he can even think it through what he's about to do.
yawnchoi you look really pretty in that new post...
yn what can i say? yeonjun brings out a special part of me 😭
yawnchoi im very sure he feels the exact same
yn in my dreams 😭 don't fuel my deluluness
yawnchoi i'm being very serious right now
yn mhm mhm sureeee and how would YOU know? 😑
yawnchoi ajksdbwsjdhbw maybe this wasn't a good idea
yn WHAT wasn't a good idea, hm? 🤨
yawnchoi baby all i'm trying to do is figure out how to word that i'm yeonjun 😭
yn i do not believe you for one moment
yawnchoi i'll send a pic that i would never, ever post and you can even reverse image search it or whatever or i could send a video, im not messing around baby
yn go ahead then ;-;
yawnchoi [sent a photo]
yn alright so yeonjun would definitely never post a photo of him in his boxers in bed so imma need that video 🙏
yawnchoi [sent a video]
yn oh. oh holy shit choi yeonjun has seen my tits- NOT ONLY HAS HE SEEN MY TITS HE LIKES THEM- one sec imma need to process haha im totally not hyperventilating haha
yn alright im back hi haha
yawnchoi helloooo 👋
yn wow. alright. so. uh. how do i ask this- you wanna see more tit pics?
yawnchoi THAT WAS SO BOLD HELP ME- but yes pleaseeee
yn [sent a photo]
yawnchoi oh baby- holy shit you're so pretty 🥺
yn thanks jjunie kwsnbdwjkd im still like- going crazy rn yawnchoi thats cute baby :((
yn wjhbswhjdhj so- since you've seen my tits i wanna see you again :(( preferably your dick but haha
yawnchoi yeah? pretty baby wants to see my dick?
yn kjwbshwjdbhe yes please?
yawnchoi asking so nicely... alright baby~ [sent a photo]
yn oh 😳 oh fuck alright sjbdsewjh wanna touch :((
yawnchoi me or yourself, baby?
yn well, both, but only one can happen, right? so me-
yawnchoi go ahead, can i see? yn alright 😳 [sent a video]
yawnchoi baby's so pretty :(( wanna see you cum for me <3
yn [sent a video] would be better if you were here :( want you to touch me so bad wjbwjhdbe
yawnchoi can fly you into korea if you want...
yn YOU'RE KISSING *KIDDING
yawnchoi i'm notttttttt dekjbdekj pretty cunt's got me all horny :((
yn i don't even care if it's a one night stand choi fucking yeonjun's gonna fly me out to korea to fuck me heck yeah
---------------------------------
and he does. books a flight last minute for the next day, from your country to seoul, puts on a pair of sunglasses and his least conspicuous outfit, and drives to the airport. he isn't THAT nervous- it's not like he thinks you're gonna murder him.
and when you walk out of the airport building with nothing but a backpack with you, looking around and waving slightly when you see him, his heart quickens just a little. (and NOT just because he's seen you naked).
you decide to sit in the back of his car for no reason other than you want to, and maybe a little bit because you can't exactly handle looking at him straight on quite yet.
to your surprise, there's no awkward small talk, just him getting straight to the point and saying all the members are out of the dorm currently, but, ever the gentleman, he says since you flew a long way, you can sleep a little bit first and he won't bother you.
your whole body is on alert and you find yourself thinking that there's no way you'd be able to sleep now. it's one thing to sext someone knowing they're an idol- another to actually be in the car with them, on your way to where they live, and knowing you're going to actually fuck them.
yeonjun politely takes your bag when you get out of the car, and when his fingers wrap around the strap, his hand brushes yours slightly. you internally feel like you might faint- you hadn't actually prepared yourself for this, and now he was touching you and he feels real and you knew he was real but now it just feels extra.
holding your bag, he opens the door to the dorm, leading you in before following, taking you into his room and placing your bag down on the floor next to his bed. every single action that takes him closer to you makes your face grow hot, the bed dipping slightly under your weight when you sit down. the sheets are soft, but your mind barely registers it, focusing instead on the fact that you are in yeonjun's bed.
he opens his mouth to say something, and you panic, cutting him off quickly with a wry grin and a statement. "i might need some alcohol in my system before we do anything else."
yeonjun raises his eyebrows in the slightest, a little surprised, but he also gets it. he's pretty sure both his body and his mind want you way too much right now, but he's so nervous he might not do anything. his hands are twisted in his lap and he quickly realizes and sits on them instead before standing.
he leads you to the kitchen, getting himself a can of beer and letting you pour yourself a couple shots of vodka. you know your limits- it's just enough for you to get a little tipsy and stop overthinking everything.
knocking one back, you enjoy the burn in your throat before taking the second. the slight buzz under your skin makes you smile slightly, leaning against the counter while he takes long sips of his own drink. it's obvious he wants this to pick up, so you busy yourself messing with his shirt just a little while he drinks. you slip your fingers under his sleeve, mindlessly rubbing your fingertips back and forth over his skin. you can tell he remembered your comments the previous day about his arms, basing his outfit around that.
he has another tank top on today, arms flexing when he brings the can to his lips to take another sip, and you move your hands a little farther down to rest on his chest. this time, when he lowers the can, his lips are a little wet from the drink and you can't help but press a messy kiss to them, licking the liquid off. yeonjun lets out a slight hiss when your tongues meet, left hand reaching behind him to place the can on the counter.
the alcohol must really be working already because you're both stumbling to his room, messily tugging each other's clothes off, and yeonjun leaves a line of wet hickeys up your neck. each and every touch of his skin on yours makes you feel fire burn a trail across your body, but it's in a way that makes you almost absolutely sure that it's not just because he's one of your celebrity crushes, or because you're a little drunk.
yeonjun's movements are so rushed that in seconds he's on top of you, his own shirt off, pants quick to follow once you tug at them. your hands find way to his newly-lightened hair when his lips and tongue meet yours again, a different kind of intoxication weaving itself up and over each of your limbs, the kind of intoxication that makes you want to live and breathe this man.
"want you," he whispers, cheeks pink from the alcohol, his eyes slightly glazed when he looks into yours, and the way he says it makes your cheeks grow hot again.
"go ahead then, 'm all yours," you exhale in response, trying to ignore the way your heart twinges at your own words. this is just a one time thing, you have to remind yourself.
but yeonjun's eyes light up and he presses another kiss to your lower lip, one hand moving between your legs to part them. his eyes lower to your cunt, and you can feel the way your underwear are sticking to your pussy. you'd chosen to wear white underwear today and you're pretty sure they're see-through by now, drenched completely from all the feelings yeonjun's touch is sending through you.
"all mine?" yeonjun mumbles, eyes wide. and when you nod, he smirks slightly. "love your cunt so much, i might just take you right now." your own eyes widen and yeonjun can feel your breath hitch. "but you'd like that, wouldn't you? pretty slut would love her jjunie taking her raw, would love to have me cum inside..."
you suck in a breath through your teeth at his words, nodding quickly, spread out on the bed beneath him. your mouth tastes like alcohol and yeonjun, and your brain tries to forget how he so flippantly called himself your jjunie.
"jjun, just, just fuck me, please?" you whimper out when he rubs a fingertip over your clothed cunt.
"baby asked so nicely, might as well give her what she wants," he coos, tugging off his boxers only once he slides your underwear down your legs. "promise you'll let me taste you next time?"
you nod, too distracted by the fact that he's already planning a 'next time' in his head to realize that he wants to eat you out, but by the time you understand, he has the tip of his cock pressed to your entrance, other hand holding yours as he slowly pushes in. the gesture feels sweet, romantic even, and you let your eyes fall shut when he pauses his movements.
yeonjun's body is pressed flush to yours in a way that allows him to brush his fingers over your neck, skin smooth against you. his hand wraps loosely around your neck and his breath is hot on your cheek when he whispers, "is this okay?"
you nod once more, only because the combination of the alcohol and his body on you is making your brain so fuzzy you can't think clear enough to speak. yeonjun hums lightly and experiments with his grip, making you gasp a little when he also hits your g-spot. he lets out a hiss when your already-tight walls tighten further around him.
he'd had a feeling that you'd feel like heaven around him, just because of the fact you had stated you were only able to fit two fingers inside yourself, but he had obviously underestimated all the sensations that were going to overwhelm him like they are now. every movement of his hips towards yours makes him fight to control the tremble of his body. your hand is linked with the one he doesn't have around your neck and every time he buries himself completely inside you, your hand tightens just a little around his.
he's losing himself just a little, hand still laced with yours, pace quickening until jolty, broken, high pitched moans are the only sound leaving you. yeonjun can't help but smirk at that, hoisting one leg over his shoulder. "fucking pussy is so perfect, almost like it's made for me, taking me so well... might just keep you here, my personal little cumslut, could bring you on tour with us, fuck you every night in the hotel room, how'd you like that, hm?"
his rhythm is so brutal you're choking on your words by now, broken sobs slipping through your parted lips, tears filling your waterline and then slipping down your cheeks, mixing with the slight mascara you'd put on this morning and making your face a mess. yeonjun likes it too, the way he's so easily able to get you like this, just a few words from his lips and you're crying.
he can't help but tell you this with a mocking pout on his lips that turns into yet another smirk, chuckling when all you can do is whimper incoherently. yeonjun kisses you gentle enough to make up for his harsh words though, he's only trying to make you feel good, and he knows you like it when he talks down to you.
one hand still around your neck, the other moves from your hand to your waist, and he's only fucking into you harder when you whine out that you're close. his lips catch yours again when you gasp out his name, gummy walls fluttering around his dick as your whole body shakes from the force of your orgasm, yeonjun's fingertip rubbing at your clit making you convulse under him.
yeonjun bites back a little moan and lowers his lips to your ear again. "can i cum in you, baby? let me make you mine?"
you can't tell if he's just saying it in the heat of the moment, but you nod, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside you.
he bites his lip slightly, only losing control completely when you lick up the side of his neck and bite a splotchy hickey onto his neck. his warm cum fills you as he mumbles out a string of curses mixed with your name against your neck.
yeonjun practically collapses on you once he pulls out but lets himself take a second to marvel at how pretty you look right now, mascara leaking down your cheeks and neck, his cum and yours leaking from your swollen, abused cunt.
you let him wrap his arms around your form, cheek against his chest, both your bodies hot and sweaty, his bangs plastered to his forehead. there's a question on the tip of your tongue but he answers it for you, mumbling in your ear, "will you stay? for longer than just today?" yeonjun pauses slightly, then continues. "i'm not sure if i want you to be just one time. i know that this part of our relationship is new but we've been talking for so long and yeah, i don't want you to go back home and for this never to happen again."
you purse your lips, alcohol fogging up your brain and making you a little too sleepy to respond. "we'll talk tomorrow, hm? it's late and i had a long flight and i'm tired, jjunie..."
he nods slightly, running a hand through his hair, and presses a kiss to your forehead. "goodnight, yn."
"night night, yeonjun," you exhale.
you're almost half asleep when you hear him whisper, "the others'll be home soon, if they see us like this, i'm blaming you..."
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aropride · 2 years
Text
i miss when people took covid seriously. i miss people making their own masks and the idea of going into a store without one being entirely socially unacceptable. i miss when all the schools were out and no one had anything to do because they were inside staying safe. i miss six-feet-away socially distanced masked picnics in my friend's backyard. i miss the phrase "unprecedented times" & i hate the phrase "the new normal" because none of this should be normal. we shouldn't be going about our days as if it were. i shouldn't be the only person in a walmart with a face covering. how is any of this "normal"? people are still dying, the covid rates are spiking again, people aren't getting boosters and my dad goes to church with two thousand people he doesn't even have a mask with him except for the crumpled-up blue mask in his left front pocket that's gone through the laundry at least twice. people are still dying, especially disabled people are dying, and nobody acts like they care anymore. my family and i used to go for walks around a lake fifteen minutes away and we and whoever passed us would all put on our masks if we got within 15 feet of each other. now my little sister goes to her fifth grade math class and the only person wearing a mask is her friend who had covid three days ago. when my dad got covid he passed out on the floor next to the stairs on his way to the bathroom and when he went to the hospital they ran tests and it was "just covid." when did covid become "just covid"? 284 people in the US died of covid this week. when we locked down 7 people had died that week. and "covid is over," and "this is the new normal," and target doesn't have free disposable masks in the entryway anymore.
EDIT: i had reblogs off on this post, i'm turning them back on now, but please be normal in the notes and in my askbox. do not act as though i'm personally responsible or in favor of your small business failing or your child's stunted social skills, do not get mad at me for having lived in an area that for the most part cared about covid for a couple months, do not traumadump about being held at gunpoint. i cannot account for the enormity of the human experience in my post about my personal experiences with covid. and do not tell me about how covid "isn't that serious." im disabled because of covid. i don't want to hear how you don't care if you spread it because it's "not that bad." be normal. be compassionate. at least pretend to care about disabled people, considering that's what the post is about. yes these are all real things people said to me
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