#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

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#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now.

bitemegamer · 2 months

Text

Log 01: A Note and Meeting Qiu and Tamarack (Long Post)

Something about this intro... It makes my heart ache in the best way possible. It's the start, the start to a new section of a new life. It is the Fall, the air is cooling down and I can feel it hitting my nose.

*Forgive me, I shall be using MC thoughts as that of my own and basing things off of how I would react, I shall be using first person writing

I decided, since my MC is 10 and I was a little bit of a nut at this time, I would have him believe that it was a ghost that poked him instead of him being rational about it.

He gets greeted with this paper, and... Honestly, how WOULD your little kid thoughts (esp that of someone who did believe in ghosts) think this meant?

*I blurred the last name for my own reasons, thank you very much*

I really, truly wished to be Nancy Drew or one of the Hardy Boys. I spend so much time watching mysteries with my mom. Probably way too much time.

Too bad I am going to break those rules, Mother! Muahahaha! I am a little troublemaker. Just kidding. However, it's okay. I have a way to bend the rules... Just a little bit ;)

*Proceeds to go to the woods, which to me feels like straying even further??? tbh, knowing myself as a kid, I would have done this without thinking too deeply*

Oh where shall I be going? On a cool quest! Off I go to the amazing and great unknown!

WHAT??? Man... :( I know for a fact I would have been so upset, yet a little relieved. Had I gone further into the forest, I might have freaked out just a little bit.

The ghost inhabits this building.

Also, random thought/feeling/vibe that I am feeling... This reminds me so much of when I was a little kid doing my own thing, just wandering about and feeling like the whole world was amazing and whimsical. As a kid, I would always go out of my way to have some sort of fun and adventure... Even if that meant getting lost or making something out of nothing.

A RACCOON!

If I end up dying, let it be known that I met the end of my life with the coolest animal ever.

I'm sure said kid feels very different about a total stranger being in their backyard climbing up their fort.

lol, he thinks I'm quirky...

I mean... You were the one who sent the note... Right? Right? Oh God, never mind--

Don't look at me like that *SOB SOB* I'm trembling over here as if I am some sort of scared little grey hound!

Nice to meet you as well, Qiu!

*Snorts*

OCD Autism meeting and seeing someone with ADHD for the first time be like (joking):

I decided to be a little more nicer to him and politely just point it out to him:

This honestly does beg the question for me... How often has Qiu lost something simply from people just not telling him that he dropped his pages.

That's it, Bud. You. Me. We're going to be in it together. You're never going to lose something like that again while I'm around you.

He'll listen to me, but he will have no idea what I am talking about. At least he tries.

Making art out of trash... I see.

Yeah... Maybe my joke about ADHD might not be as much of a joke as I thought it was.. Hm...

Oh... OH... She's so cute, she makes me wanna cry..

Tamarack really went: 'Wow, okay, *bye*.

Well... Since I have exceeded my image limit for this post, I do believe that I can have this a closing moment... As of now, my MC has met both of the wonderful romantic/friend interests and I think they're both so wonderful!

I know that I am currently playing the Demo at the moment, but goodness this is so cute. This reminds me so much of my days after school and spending time with my friends around this time period.

I can't wait to finish this intro out and write more about my silly little thoughts... Until then, I hope you guys have enjoyed my little comments. I love doing that when I play games.

#our life #gb patch games #our life now and forever #olnf #game logging #qiu lin #our life qiu #our life tamarack #tamarack baumann

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simplepotatofarmer · 5 months

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saw your reply to the ask about black dog/rivals, so here's some questions! i'm not the person who sent the ask, but i have a bunch of questions anyways. sorry if you've answered them before

general:

what are their favorite forms of affection?

favorite plants, if any

who gets nightmares more (and how they help each other!!)

how do you think they'd react to the other betraying them

black dog:

(i haven't read that much of the stuff about your black dog au so sorry if some of this is just flat out wrong)

does anyone figure it out before techno

does punz know beforehand (assuming staged duo are still allies in this)

is...is there a grave for dream?? a pyre? a funeral? something of that nature??

do dream's former friends miss him at all. sapnap, george, anyone

does dream get any pets as laelaps

okay that's it

hope you are well! and good luck with nano!

(ps what does auhdh4auhdh mean? for a completely unrelated post. i know t4t is trans4trans but what does the acronym auhdh stand for. i have been wracking my brain to figure it out and....i just cant)

sorry this took so long for me to answer!! <3 <3

for general:

techno is pretty affectionate with his friends! he loves to hug them and sniff them and snorf them. he's a cuddle person. he loves to nap and hold onto his friends. he does try to play it cool sometimes but techno is a dork and he loves his friends. he loves to make grand gestures of gifts or declarations of friendship. dream isn't as obvious with affection. but he sometimes leans against techno or rests his head on techno's shoulder for a second. mostly though it's just the fact he's there and he'll always be there, y'know?

dandelions for techno, roses for dream!

dream. they're not very vivid, it's more like bits and pieces that makes it hard for him to sleep in the first place. he's a very light sleeper because of that. but the upside to having a large piglin friend is that he can basically act as a weighted blanket (phil also learned this, back in the day). having techno there helps.

this one is really hard for me because a main part of rivals duo is that they haven't betrayed each other. like, that is a key point. dream and techno both mention it, more than once. so if either of them ever did? i think it'd be a lot of complete denial. i think they'd try to come up with a reason as to why the other betrayed them. then techno would just. be sad. how did it end up like this? while dream would probably try to hide his sadness by saying he should've seen it coming.

okay, black dog questions!

techno is the first one to figure it out. he spends the most time around laelaps and he was also the one to spent the most time around dream out of all the people who are in consistent contact with laelaps.

punz doesn't know. that was kind of the whole point. no one knew dream wouldn't come back except dream. and dream wasn't planning on ever coming back. he wanted his death to be permanent but his limbo got to him after awhile.

there is! techno and punz bury him. only they know where it is. it's small. it doesn't have a name (they were afraid if anyone found it, they'd vandalize it). but it's there.

yeah, they do. but in the sense they've mourned him before this. to them, they've already lost him. they lost him before the prison, really. or at least during the prison arc.

he doesn't. or i'm not sure yet! but he's really focused on his job and he just doesn't have the time. i might give him something, though. i think he deserves to have a cat.

oh! and auhdh is just a shorthand way of saying that someone has both autism and adhd! both techno and dream canonically have adhd but i also headcanon them as being autistic. i just get that vibe from them!

#loyal answers things #long post #black dog au #the fic is very rough draft so i haven't ironed everything out yet

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prosciuttulipa · 8 days

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RAAAAAAH i want a match ngl LMAO

Jjk match because Im a fucking simp, and a guy bcs I am in fact a straight woman thanks

I'm a big nerd. Like, a very big nerd. I do math for fun and I am not ashamed at all when I interrupt someone to correct them (I have autism and ADHD, how could you tell?)

I'm relatively closed off, and most of the time, insecure. I'm shy and I barely ever make the first move (unless I've had a couple of drinks or a lot of eyeliner). I think what people most define me as is the "old soul, young body). I'm like the mom of the group, though I am absolutely reckless when there's another mom in the group, since it takes the responsibility away from me.

I hate going out, and it's really hard to get me to go to the beach, for example. I think my best quality personality-wise is that I'm down to earth and realistic about my goals. A problem is probably how much self-doubt I have, since people constantly tell me I am capable of achieving more than I think I can. I don't settle for seconds, but I'm not too excited when I rech first, because there's always a new competition.

Oh yeah, I'm competitive. Very.

I'm a pessimist, though I like to say it's realism, because why be positive, hype myself up, only for it to go wrong and the disappointment hurt me? As I said, emotionally closed off.

My personality is the infamous black cat, and I think (though I'm not sure), that a golden retriever boy is what would fit me best. (even though I simp for other black cat guys)

For hobbies, I'm boring, though I do have many. I play the guitar, do martial arts (krav maga), draw, sing, write absolutely filthy smut, and, most important of all: do math and study. Yeah, my main hobby is studying.

I'm not sure how I show my love? I don't, usually. I can love someone unconditionally and be absolutely lovesick, but only after a very heavy emotional session, may it be a fight or drinks, will I tell soemone how much they mean to me. I spent the last four years with my best friend, and only after a day's worth of drinking and crying did I tell her how much she meant to me.

I'm a bit icky with physical touch, but if I trust them, I'll let them cling to me. Initially push people away and only after knowing them do I let them hug me, kiss me, cuddle me. I am awful when dealing with compliments, and I cannot take a gift. So probably quality time is my love-receiving language when generally speaking. A boyfriend/husband would probably work with physical touch and words of affirmation, though.

I dont think there's any big turn-off or turn-on in relationships? Maybe not giving me enough attention and helping me emotionally, because I'm easily falling into insecurity, feeling like I'm not enough.

I have like medium curly dark hair and dark eyes. Eyebags, and a lot of moles all over my face. My body is relatively fit? I have a bit of fat ngl but I also have muscles. A bit of a tummy and thicc thighs (they do, in fact, save lives) that double the size when I sit (insecurity alert!) I'm pale, though I am a mixed baby. I dress in all-black most of the time, and all the color variations are like red or dark blue. (I AM NOT EMO). I wear eyeliner from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep and I have pierced ears. I also plan on getting nip piercings and plan on getting

I think i need more songs to listen to, so I'm going with the three songs he associates wit me.

Congratulations! You have been matched with...

Choso Kamo

When people see you and Choso together, they immediately assume that you're just another average emo couple, quick to place stereotypes. But under the heavy eyeliner and dark clothes, are two people who are just trying to figure out life in their own way.

Choso is fascinated by your contradictions: insecure yet quick to correct others, pessimistic but burning with a competitive drive for more. Where some people may see indecision, he sees something much more real and human in comparison to the single-minded characters he's met during his time alive. Living is hard, has experienced it for himself, so he doesn't shun you for your contrasting perspectives. Instead, he wants to learn about the world alongside you, unpicking the way you think, wondering about your insecurities. Although he's been through a lot, there's something inherently innocent and simplistic in the way Choso sees the world. If you're an old soul in a young body, then he's a young soul in an old one. Perhaps by meeting somewhere in the middle, the two of you will get closer to unravelling the mystery that is life.

Choso doesn't mind that you don't like going out, but you often find yourself tagging along as he explores the world in small ways. A trip to the convenience store may as well be a museum visit, with the way he asks you about the products, eyeing them with confusion. He also admires the fact that you study math—to dedicate yourself to understanding anything in such depth is no small feat—and he's happy to sit next to you while you work, occasionally asking questions about your interest in the subject. His most common form of affection is just leaning his head against your shoulder, watching silently as you work.

Dates with Choso are pretty laid back, since he's happy to take the lead on whatever makes you comfortable. It doesn't matter to him where you two are. For him, understanding your mind (and falling in love with the way you think, the way you are) is what matters to him the most.

The Matchmaker's Gift:

Contrary to popular belief, Choso's music taste is rather soft. This song reminds him of the inherent dependence that comes with being connected.

Offering you this song with a curious tilt of his head, Choso asks you if this is how your pessimism feels like.

This is the song Choso uses to confess to you. His feelings are one of the few things he has to his name, and he wants to share them with you.

#—playing matchmaker!#—prosciuttulipa events.#jjk #jujtusu kaisen #jjk matchup #jjk matchups

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sadsoftserve · 4 months

Text

-Rebellion- An EE 'mini'-fic

(This is 10,506 words long, not mini at all. This is the fanfic I've been working on for the past couple days. Mainly Parker and Percy centric. The Fruit Basket quintuplet (yes that's what they're called) is in here too. My Google doc made this look way better, I was going to properly fix the spaces in-between each paragraph but Tumblr was lagging and I'm lazy. Inspired slightly by the twolooween stream.)

Halloween was the holiday Parker hated the most. Not because she was scared or didn't have friends, she had plenty of those. It was the fact she wasn't able to participate in it. The last time she went trick-or-treating, she was eight. Ever since the diagnosis, she’d been living with her aunt. Percy. Parker didn't understand her aunt. Sure, the ADHD and autism solidarity was there, but Percy was strange with how she dealt with children. Most holidays, besides Christmas and Thanksgiving, weren't celebrated. And Halloween was the one Percy forbade Parker from participating in. It bothered her. No matter how much Parker tried to persuade Percy, the answer was always:

“No.” Percy's voice was deadpan as usual. She crossed her arms as Parker fell to her knees and clasped her hands together like some pathetic guy begging a girl to go out with him.

“Auntie, Please!” Parker gave her best puppy dog eyes as she begged. “Just this once! All of my friends are going out! Please?” Percy was not swayed. She stood there, her arms still crossed as he exhaled, hard.

“Parker,” Percy said, her authoritative tone frightening Parker. “We go through this every year. And what is my answer every time you ask?” Parker slowly got off of her knees and sighed before she answered.

“No…” Parker mumbled out. As she hung her head, staring at her feet. She sighed again. She was fifteen, not a child, surely she could handle a couple hours out with her friends. But Percy made her stance and wasn't gonna change it. It was like this every year. Parker would beg, Percy would say no, and Bonnie and Sabrina would have to share their candy with her the next day. She just wanted one year, just to revisit and feel how it is.

“Exactly,” Percy answered back. “My answer is always no,” Percy's voice was painfully monotone. At this point, Parker felt like Rapunzel. Trapped in the same boring life with the days blurring together. Even locked in a house. “You never know who, or what may be lurking in the dark. Or the sorts of costumes you will see. Like, sexy mustard.” Percy said with a scornful voice and look in her eyes.

“Yeah... I know.” Parker replied as she rolled her eyes slightly, a detail that did not go unnoticed by Percy.

“Don’t sass me.” Her monotonous voice rang through the room, like a dripped-out truck with speakers that fizzled with every bass drop. Parker didn't even bother arguing, she knew that Percy would find a way to make herself right. Thats what cops do.

“I’m- Nevermind. I’m going to bed.” It was around her ‘bedtime’ anyway. Percy nodded.

“Don’t-” She was cut off by Parker.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth. I know. G’night Auntie.” Parker said as she rounded the corner into the hallway.

“Goodnight, Parker.” Percy responded as Parker went to get ready for ‘bed’. Parker had a wack sleep schedule, but she was normally able to shake off her sleepiness in the morning. She normally stayed up till three on her phone, then went to bed, sure, school started at eight in the morning, but four hours of sleep was better than nothing.

Parker lay in bed, scrolling through her phone, when she got a notification from the group chat. Sabrina and Bonnie were probably arguing about something. When she saw Sabrina’s sugar glider profile picture and Bonnies snake profile picture she figured she’d join the conversation.

Nightmare endurer- And yet YOU think sneaking into a college when they reject you is justified???

The creature-

IS IT NOT THOUGH????

I MEAN

IT MAKES SENSE

NOT LIKE THEYRE GONNA KNOW

@moth bby

BACK ME UP DALIA

Boy kisser- ?????

What are you yapping abt????

Nightmare endurer- Bonnies being an idiot again

Shes the Ramsey of the group

Rat

>:)

Dalia isn't gonna help you

Because unlike us

She has a healthy sleep schedule

The creature- NUH UH

And my uncle is a respectable man

Nightmare endurer- HE EMBEZZLED MONEY???

The creature- Nobody perfect

Boy kisser- my aunt arrested him

He is NOT a good man

The creature- GRRR

Nightmare endurer- Bonnie stfu

Anyway

What’d Percy say?

You allowed to go with us??

Boy kisser- She said no

Like she does every year

Idk why she does this

Nightmare endurer- I think its the autism

Damn

So no parker again this year??

The creature- Damn

Just sneak out???

Its easy

Doubt she’ll notice anyway

I do it all the time

Nightmare endurer- well we don't live with a washed-up felon

Bozo

Its not that easy

Slow one

The creature- Shit

Rat alert

Talk to you later

The creature went offline

Boy Kisser- Damn

Imagine

She probs got her phone taken

Nightmare endurer- nah

Probably for the night

Ramsey’ll give it back

Anyway i should go too

Even though i cant sleep

Boy kisser- goodnight <3

Nightmare endurer went offline

And just like that Parker was left alone. But Bonnie's words hung in her head. Maybe she could sneak out… but how does one sneak out? Bonnie knew all about sneaking out. But did she really want to go through with this? Was she that desperate? Maybe. She would have to ask Bonnie tomorrow if she showed up to school. As the tall, scrawny, blonde girl lay in bed, her frustration grew, as if it were a kettle, on the verge of spilling over. Maybe this is what she needed. A little bit of rebellion never hurt anyone.

The night came and went, as Parker got her dosage of a total of five hours of sleep. For the first time in a while, she was excited to go to school. Today was Halloween, and even though they had school, most of the teachers didn't care about their jobs enough to teach or show up on a holiday. So that meant the quintuplet could goof off as much as they wanted without their grades feeling the punishment.

The ride to school was silent. Parker was in the passenger seat of her auntie's police cruiser, the very same place she had seen multiple people in before. Cops weren't something that scared her necessarily but being incarcerated did. The day Parker would be cuffed and in the backseat of a police vehicle would also be the day Percy lost her shit, either in anger or sadness. The reason she showed no emotion most of the time was that her emotions boiled over the second she got angry or scared. Two emotions Percy never showed often.

The ride’s silence was interrupted by Percy's monotone voice. “Parker, please stop shaking your leg. It's causing the car to shake.” Parker hadn't noticed she’d been shaking her leg. She quickly stopped.

“Sorry…” She mumbled into her hand as she rested her elbow on the car door.

“It's quite alright,” Percy responded back, her signature half smile on her face. “I know you cannot help it. But please do consider I am driving. I want you to arrive safely to school, sweetheart.” Parker smiled a bit at her aunt’s precautions. She understood why she did it, but that was for driving. Not the whole, ‘not being allowed to participate in Halloween’ thing. But maybe Parker could discreetly ask how Percy would feel if someone (hypothetically her) snuck out.

“Auntie, quick question,” Parker spoke. “You know Bonnie right?”

“Yes. I know her, why do you ask?” Percy knew Bonnie alright. From being Ramsey's niece to being in juvie multiple times, Percy knew her well.

“Well I was wondering, do you know that sometimes she sneaks out? I don't think her uncles caught on about it yet. But if you were in Ramsey's position, how would you feel?” Yes. Asking how Percy felt about anything by relating it to someone else always stumped her. And Parker made sure she focused on the Ramsey and Bonnie bit.

“Well. Certainly a good question.” Percy said before she thought about it. “Im not sure how I’d feel. One part of me feels betrayed and the other feels disappointed, or upset. It's hard to word. My apologies.” Percy quickly focused her attention on the road in front of her. “I certainly hope you wouldn't go that far and sneak around behind my back, Parker.” Ouch. That stung Parker straight through the chest. “I'd be disappointed.” Double-whammy, jeez. Parker was feeling really anxious about this whole thing now. The day her aunt was disappointed would be the day Parker’s condemned to hell. Once Percy was disappointed, she was disappointed. She would give you the silent treatment and everything.

“Yeesh. A disappointed auntie is not a happy auntie.” Parker joked trying to hide her anxiety. “Anyway… do you work tonight?”

“Yes, I’m on the schedule. Patrol, 3 pm-12 am.” Percy said as she pulled into the school.

“Oh, okay!” Everything was falling into place, Miraculously Percy's work hours happened to fall in when she planned to sneak out. If she had the balls to do that. Percy pulled into the car-rider line and stopped the car, letting Parker get out.

“Have a good day, Parker. Be safe.” Percy said as Parker grabbed her bag and smiled at Percy’s words.

“You too auntie.” She flung her bag over her shoulder as she shut the car door, and ran to the front of the school. The quintuplet was always here 15 minutes before the bell rang, so they could talk before class started. Dalia, Bonnie, and Sabrina were already there. Bonnie was perched sitting on the metal bar fence, while Dalia and Sabrina stood next to her.

“Im just saying hypothetically, if the world was flat, do you think the water would spill off the sides and go into space?” Bonnie was back to asking nonsensical questions. Parker was walking up to the group as she heard the conversation going on.

“The world is round,” Sabrina stated as she whacked Bonnie upside the head with a peice of paper. “Dumbass.” Sabrina looked at Parker as she was walking up to them. “Will you tell this simple-minded weasel right here that the earth is round?”

“Bonnie,” Parker said with a twinge of cringe. “What are you on about?”

“Coke probably,” Bonnie replied with a shit-eating grin as the three girls in front of her mentally facepalmed. “Anyway, why are we talking about me, when we need to be talking about Parker? Her aunt is holding her hostage!”

“Hostage is certainly a descriptive word. I don't think its hostage.” Dalia inquired. “Besides, Percy isn't that strict… right?”

“You’d be surprised,” Sabrina replied. “The first time Parker had Wendy’s is when my dad took us after colorguard a month ago.” Both Dalia and Bonnie looked at Parker with a surprised look. Was Percy really that strict?

Bonnie got off the blue metal bar fence put her hands on Parker's shoulder, and shook her. “You have got to rebel. Do something about this! You're a prisoner in your own life! Percy is holding you hostage!”

Parker rolled her eyes. “She’s just… Protective. It's nothing… really!”

Dalia and Sabrina exchanged glances before Dalia spoke. “She's… kinda a helicopter parent… and she's not even your mom. Doesn't it get old?”

Sabrina’s eyes widened. “Helicopter parent? More like an authoritative parent, she wants Parker to be like her… monotone… and bland. No offense. You aren’t able to have caffeine. Or fun...” Sabrina said her voice feeling bad for Parker, which was rare, she hardly felt bad for anyone.

“She's a cop… she means well.” Parker tried to defend her aunt's parenting style, but she knew that it was useless to do so.

“Cop or not, you're in a prison! And I know a lot about prison.” Bonnie replied as she shook Parker again. “Yknow what, meet me at our spot at lunch, we're gonna get you freedom, by any means necessary.” Bonnie looked Parker in the eyes, the same look an army general would give his men before battle. Parker admired her friends, especially Bonnie for her candid ‘we're gonna do this no matter the consequences’ attitude. And right on cue the bell rang, and the girls went their separate ways. Bonnie to Science, Dalia to Math, Sabrina to History, and Parker to P.E.

The Periods blurred together, it was the same thing every day. But 4th period was Parker's favorite, Art. It was a class she shared with Sabrina, besides 8th period. The art classroom with Ms. Wade. She was an eccentric individual, and one Parker trusted with anything (besides Mrs.Cox, she’s the nicest teacher at SJHS). Ms.Wade’s flowy blue hair and silver round-rimmed glasses made her quite the person. Not to mention her small stature. Sabrina was barely shorter than her.

“Parker…? Something wrong?” Ms. Wade asked as Parker snapped out of her daze, unaware she was staring directly at the boy across the room.

“Ah- !” Parker snapped back to reality as Ms. Wade's high-pitched voice rang through her ears. “I’m fi-”

“Then why were you staring at Micah?” Sabrina cut Parker off, as she moved to take one of her black colored pencils.

“I was zoned out, Sabrina!” Parker spoke through her teeth in an annoyed manner. Parker huffed as she turned around in her seat to speak to Ms.Wade. “As I was saying before I was rudely cut off. Im fine. I zoned out.” Parker picked up her pencil again as she stared at the blank paper in front of her.

“You don't seem alright.” Ms.Wade stated as she leaned over and looked at Parker's blank page. “Having trouble with the prompt?”

“You could say that. How do I take an insecurity and draw it? Arent those just thoughts?” Parker asked. Sure she had insecurities, everybody did, but how does one translate that onto paper? It seemed impossible.

“Well, you think of something you're insecure about, like me, im insecure about my height. You take that, and you imagine a picture that speaks without speaking. Like a picture with meaning.” Ms.Wade did her best to explain, but she had no idea how to describe the prompt.

“Is being afraid people will be disappointed in you an insecurity?” Parker asked ideas slowly coming back to her.

“Sure, you can do that. I look forward to seeing what you create.” Ms. Wade gave Parker a gentle shoulder pat, as Parker resumed looking at the paper. As Ms.Wade walked away, slowly Parker began to run her colored pencil across the page, drawing a large silhouette of a woman with one hand holding a smaller sadder girl, and the other hand on her hip. She flipped over the page and quickly scribbled some writing in her chicken-scratch handwriting. The most notable thing about the drawing was the fact that the large woman had a striking resemblance to Percy, and the smaller girl looked like Parker, even though they were blacked-out silhouettes.

“Is that supposed to be Percy?” Sabrina leaned over and asked Parker, as the girls put down their pencils. Parker picked up her drawing and held it up tilting her head to look at it at another angle.

“Huh, it does kinda look like her… thats weird,” Parker stated as she put the drawing back down on the table.

“I’d say. Wanna see mine?” Sabrina asked. Parker nodded. Sabrina held up her drawing. It was two people both that looked like her, but one was blacked out and looked like something from a horror movie. “Cool right?”

“Thats creepy. What even is that?” Parker asked her face turning into one of slight disgust.

“It's my nightmares... OooOOOhhHHh… spooky… isn't it?” Sabrina asked with a sly grin on her constantly tired face.

“Jesus… how do you function?”

“I don't,” Sabrina replied. “Im constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown.” Even when saying something like that, her grin never wavered. Parker was slightly concerned but knew Sabrina was just like that, so she let it slide. “What’s that supposed to represent anyway?” Sabrina pointed to Parker’s drawing.

“Uh, disappointment? Im insecure about people being disappointed?” She said with uncertainty. Parker wasn't sure what it conveyed exactly, but she knew it conveyed something. Sabrina raised an eyebrow and playfully punched Parker.

“You need therapy.” Sabrina jabbed.

“I'll get it when you do,” Parker responded. Soon enough, the lunch bell rang, and Parker shoved the drawing into her bag. She and Sabrina hurried from the art room in the 400 hall to outside underneath the bleachers in the football field. It was a colder day, rounding out at about 50-ish degrees. The chill hit the duo as soon as they walked outside and to the football field, where Bonnie and Dalia already were. Bonnie had a paper in front of her along with a poorly drawn blueprint map of Parker's home. And a neighborhood it looked like. Dalia was munching on the expensive school Snickers from the vending machines.

“About time y’all showed up.” Bonnie crossed her arms, as the two climbed under the bleachers sitting around the paper.

“Bonnie, maybe don't be mean-” Dalia went to say but was quickly cut off by Bonnie, who quite frankly does not give a shit.

“Hush, lemme speak.” Bonnie playfully slapped the side of Dalia’s arm. “Okay. Now you may be wondering why I have all this paper spread out.”

“We aren’t,” Sabrina said.

“Hush Dumbass,” Bonnie said glaring at Sabrina, who was now on her phone. “As I was saying, the reason we have all this paper is because we are gonna help goody-to-shoes here gain her freedom.” She held up the poorly drawn map of Parker's house. “And I have the blueprints to help.”

Sabrina looked up from her phone at the blueprints. “Those look like a four-year-old drew them.” She said mocking Bonnie's terrible art skills. “Isn't your uncle an online artist? I thought you could do better than that.”

“Kill yourself and let me speak, dickhead.” Bonnie retorted. “If you would let me speak, I would tell you what the plan is.” Parker and the rest of the girls sent their attention to Bonnie. “Finally, now here's what's goin’ down. Whenever Percy leaves the house, you're gonna make a fake you out of pillows and stick it underneath your blanket. Then all you gotta do is walk out of the house and meet us at Greengage Gated Community.”

“It’s that easy?” Parker asked as she fiddled with the hem of her black denim shorts. She honestly thought it was gonna be much harder, but the way Bonnie was describing it made it sound so easy. “I thought it was gonna be harder.”

“It is that easy. Plus you live in a one-story house, so it'll be even easier.” Bonnie spoke cockily. The girls murmured and mumbled to one another before all collectively agreeing on something. Sabrina spoke up.

“I live in GreenGage, you can meet us there Parker. And if push comes to shove, I'll throw myself under the bus and say it was my idea.” The girls all nodded in response.

“Really? Wow, I didn't expect you all to be so… open to this. Are you sure though, im sure my aunt, if she found out, she would chew all of you and your parents out.” Parker said, her voice full of slight guilt and embarrassment, like a child confessing to breaking something.

“Nah, it'll be fine, my uncle knows how Percy is.” Bonnie shrugged off Parker's worries and gave her a pat on the back.

“Yeah, my dad and Sabrina’s are pretty lenient. I’m sure it'll be alright.” Dalia added, trying to soothe Parker's worries rather than brush them off like Bonnie just did. The four girls looked at each other, and all grinned.

“Last one to the lunch line is a rotten egg!” Bonnie said quickly before dashing back into the school building. The other three girls quickly ran after her, Sabrina being able to catch up with almost no difficulty, Dalia and Parker following close after.

(insert break line here)

Percy had a few hours to spare before needing to even leave for work. She sat at the empty kitchen island in the empty kitchen. Normally she didn't mind being alone, but today something was eating at her. She clutched her glass of butter water and sighed. She could not place it but an empty pit of dread was in her stomach. Why? She couldn’t explain.

“Maybe I’m being too harsh on her…” Percy had a knack of talking to herself when she was alone. “She's growing she needs to learn… but what if im stunting her social-emotional growth…? I don't want her to end up like me… a social recluse…” Percy sighed. She was probably just overthinking things again. Seems like thinking as all she ever did. Percy was awoken from her overthinking state when she heard a knock and a shout from her door.

“Per-CY!” Ah, Rose, right on cue. If it wasn't for that ungodly voice crack, Rose would've felt confident right about now. But in returning Percy's badge that she had accidentally left over at her place, she had forgotten what Percy did to her. At this point, she wouldn't have been surprised if Parker started calling her “Auntie’. At this point, she hung around Percy so much that the girls even started to suspect something was going on. At this point, Rose couldnt deny it.

Percy quickly answered the door. “Rose?” Percy opened the door and stepped out on the porch. “What brings you here?”

“Oh- ! Uh, right…” Rose fiddled inside her cargo pants pockets, trying to find Percy's badge. When she found it she held it out, letting Percy take it back. “You left that at my place. I figured you would need it, for your job. Not like you don't have like three spares but, I figured I might as well return it.”

Percy looked at the badge before softly smiling at Rose. “Thank you. I was wondering where this went. I was afraid I was going to have to wear my spare.” Percy said as she swapped this badge with the one she was currently wearing.

“It's no problem really… I pass this way while going to work so I figured I might as well return it.” That was a lie, she took a fifteen-minute detour to get here, she just wanted to see Percy, hopefully, that would give her some motivation for the shift upcoming. Hopefully the same could be said about Percy.

“Well thank you. I appreciate it.” Percy gave her small half smile to the tan woman in front of her. Before it dawned on her. Rose had siblings, multiple actually. “Rose, may i ask you something?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead,” Rose responded as she shifted her position to lean against the column on the porch.

“Is it wrong to shield a child from the outside world?” Percy asked as she crossed her arms, trying to comfort herself. Rose thought about it for a moment before responding.

“Not wrong, but it's not good either. The more you shield a child from the world, the more curious they get, and the more likely they are to rebel.” Rose said giving the best answer she could. “Kids need some form of freedom, keeping them shielded, while it is safe, it's also a recipe for disaster.” Percy took this into account. Parker would go that far. She was a good kid, she wouldn't rebel… right?

“Hm, I’ll take that into account. Thank you.” Percy said uncrossing her arms and fixing her rigid posture.

“No problem, I’m always-”

BEEP BEEP

Roses pager was going crazy. She quickly took a look at it before chuckling to herself. “I guess thats my cue to leave. See you around?” Rose returned around as she walked down the steps of the porch.

“See you around Rose.” Percy waved back to the tanned woman who was now walking to her car. She waved one last time before getting in and pulling away. Rose's answer only brought up more questions for Percy.

It was safe yes, but what did Rose mean by ‘recipe for disaster’? Surely Parker wouldn't do anything that drastic. Percy began thinking again as she walked back inside. She looked at her watch. Still, an hour to kill. She sat back at the kitchen island thinking again. She’d been doing a lot of that lately. Thinking. Mostly about Parker. The very child she was sworn to protect. Thats what she told her brother. She would take care of his daughter, no matter what. But lately, she’s been more protective.

Maybe it's been the string of kidnapping cases thats been going around the police station. Parker was a young, blonde, blue-eyed, and as much as Percy hated to admit it, a curvy young girl. She was also a mundie, if she were to be abducted, she’d have no means to defend herself. The subject matter was important to Percy, she would defend, protect, and ensure Parker's safety, even if that meant keeping her inside. Percy didn't feel much remorse for saying no to Parker's pleas to go out, she knew it was for the best.

‘It was for the best’, was what Percy kept saying to herself. She didn't want Parker to end up like Bonnie, poor girl. Why was she comparing her niece to a girl who has gone through more than her? She was trying to prevent what happened to Bonnie, from happening to her. She needed to get her mind off of this subject. She decided to bite the bullet and go to work early, maybe that would help her get her mind off of this. So much for taking Roses advice.

(Insert another line break)

When Parker arrived home Percy was already gone. Perfect. This was the most opportune time for her to be gone, it's like the gods responded to her multiple prayers about being stuck inside with the same boring life. It felt good. Around 6-ish Parker left, in an old Hyena hoodie she had. It had a few loose stitches, and a couple of stains on the back, but the hoodie combined with her black leggings made the last-minute costume come together. At the end of the road was Sabrina, Bonnie and Dalia, all waiting for her. Upon seeing them she picked up the pace, and walked faster meeting up with them.

“Y'know, for someone who doesn't celebrate Halloween normally, you look like you've done this multiple times before.” Sabrina said with sarcasm. She was talking about Parkers costume. Out of the four of them, hers was the most last minute looking. Sabrinas looked the most put together, she had face paint and everything. “I'm a skeleton, spooky, right? I plan to scare some children and take their candy.”

“That’s kinda mean Sabrina. They worked hard for that candy.” Dalia spoke, fiddling with her hands a bit. Sabrina looked at her as they all walked to GreenGage Gated Community. “What if we get in trouble?”

“Dalia, you sensitive soul. I'm not taking just any children's candy. I'm aiming for Stink and Stonk. They're the ones who avidly look to steal candy. I'm simply helping.” Sabrina tried to justify her actions.

“The seventh graders? Why waste your time on those guys? They're probably still believing in cooties.” Bonnie said, adjusting the headband to her rat costume. Fitting, especially for her. Sure it was a gray t-shirt and jeans with a headband, but it got the job done.

“Are cooties still a thing?” Parker asked.

“Yeah. I heard that last year one of the Roughhouse twins sold a jar of their ‘thooties’ to Stink and Stonk at the Halloween store. They got 50 bucks.” Dalia responded to Parker's question as she twisted her wand in her hand. Dalia was a wizard, she had on a black shirt and pants, along with a cartoony purple cape with silver stars on it. All equipped with a pointy wizard hat.

“Sounds like something me and my uncle would do.” Bonnie responded. The girls had walked a good distance now, as the arrived at the gates of GreenGage. The place was really nice actually, to most of the girls surprise. “Did you take us to a neighborhood with full size candy bars? Because that's what it looks like”

“Of course I did.” Sabrina smiled. “My friends deserve nothing less.” She was full of herself. Sabrina took them here to flex on Sylvie that she has friends. Unlike him. “And my dad just so happens to be giving out said full size candy bars.”

“No shit.” Parker replied as the girls started running into the neighborhood.

“H-Hey! Wait for me!” Sabrina shouted as the girls nearly knocked her over. She ran behind them as they walked into the nice neighborhood. Lights from all the identical suburban houses, and the bustling sounds coming from children and adults alike rang throughout the place. It was beautiful.

“I was missing out on all this?!” Parker exclaimed as she threw her hands up.

“Yup. Aren't you glad your friends talked you into this?” Bonnie said as the group began walking through the road.

Sabrina and Dalia were having a conversation about smart people things, talk that Parker and Bonnie wouldn't and didn't want to understand. “Hey Parker, I know a cooler place than this.” Bonnie said to Parker as the two were walking down the road. Bonnie's grin was mischievous, and Sabrina and Dalia would shut down any idea she had. But they weren't here right now. And Parker was gullible.

“Really?”Parker asked falling for whatever Bonnie was planning.

“Mhm hmm. Yup.”

“What is it?”

Bonnie looked around a couple times, as if she was looking for any sign of an adult. She grabbed Parker's hand and led her out of the community. The border between the community and the other neighborhoods was unclear. So Bonnie could be leading her anywhere. Soon enough she led her to another Neighborhood, one that wasn't as nice. In fact it kinda looked like the ghetto. But the nice part of the ghetto. “I don't do all that Richie stuff. Sure, I like the large amounts of candy, but it's the experience that counts.” Bonnie said as she led Parker through ‘her part of town’. All sorts of people were there, along with all sorts of food, and smells. It was almost homey.

“I like it. It smells nice.” Parker said as the two walked.

“It does, doesn't it? Oooh! Just wait till we get to Mama’s food stand. She makes the best food.” Bonnie said enthusiastically.

“Okay! You have money, right?”

“Duh! I may be a delinquent, but I'm not a criminal.” Bonnie rolled her eyes. “You wait here, I'm gonna find Mama.” And Bonnie was off. Parker leaned up against the wall of one of the buildings. She pulled out her phone, and started to play an offline mobile game, not paying much attention to her surroundings.

Before long, a lanky man leaned up against the wall next to her. He was wearing a stained wife beater, and a pair of jeans that were a weird tan color with stains around the hem. “What's a lady like ya’ doin' out here?” The man had a breathy raspy voice and weird stubble across his pale face.

“I-I’m not alone… I’m here with a friend.” Parker responded as politely as possible but found it a little unnerving a man like him was talking to her, a teenager. The man let out a small grunt of acknowledgement.

“Where is them?” The man's lack of grammatical correctness, also through Parker off.

“Getting… food.” Parker responded with a bit of hesitancy. He let out another noise of acknowledgement. The man glanced at Parker, his brown eyes staring into her skin. His whole vibe was off. Really off.

Parker tried to ignore him, by continuing to play her mobile game. But the man scooted closer to her. She scooted farther, trying to maintain the distance between her and this man. “Why ya’ runnin’?” The man said as the shink of a pocket knife was heard. Before Parker could react, the knife was up to her neck.

“AH-!” The man quickly covered her mouth with his grody hands.

“Don't make this any harder than it has to be.” He said as Parker started to cry and try to squirm herself away from this man. “You know what I want.”

No she didn't. What did he want? What did it have to do with her? Where's Bonnie? Sabrina? Dalia? Anybody? She felt hopeless. She should've stayed home, she wanted to be anywhere other than the grips of this man. She shook her head, she didn't know what he wanted. The man took the hand that had the knife and gently ran it down Parker's face, and slowly down to her torso leaving small holes in her Hyena hoodie. That's what he wanted. Her. No. Tears started spilling from her eyes as she tried to scream and squirm her way out. It was all in vain. The street was so crowded, but no one was helping, and the few who did notice were too scared to help or didn't care enough.

“Hey Parker! I got some-!” Bonnie stopped dead in her tracks. The food that was in her hand dropped to the ground as she looked at the man and Parker, who was trying to free herself. So Bonnie did what she does best. Scream. She screamed loudly, loud enough to be heard from a good half mile. Her own experiences would not let this happen to her best friend. She'd been in Parker's position before, but she didn't have anyone to save her. So, she did what baby Bonnie would've wanted. She was going to fight.

Bonnie, after her lengthy scream, moved quickly. She didn't have an Epithet either, but she did have pure will and fists. And to her that's all you needed to fight. The teenager lunged at the man, giving a good punch to his gut. He didn't barrel over in pain like she hoped he would. Instead he used the pocket knife and slashed her cheek. Thankfully It wasn't her eye.

Bonnie doubled back in pain as she winced uncomfortably. “Dammit…” She touched her cheek, the blood trickled down her face, dripping onto her gray shirt. She delivered another punch, but he quickly deflected it. He sent a punch to Bonnie's nose, sending her backwards and onto the concrete.

By now the authorities were called. People were recording, but not doing anything to actively help. Most of them were cowering in fear walking as fast as they could away from the scene and the more braver ones were recording.

“Attention all units, attention all units. We have a possible 240 and a possible 261A in progress. All units in the area of Armen Avenue and Outland Road please report immediately.” Percy’s radio went off. She quickly picked it up and answered it as her police cruiser sped up slightly to get to the named location.

“This is Officer P. King reporting in, what exactly is the situation?” Percy's monotonous voice was heard over the radio.

“Two female teenagers in the hands of a dangerous man. Multiple witnesses have called in about the disturbance. Man seems to be armed with a pocket knife.”

“10-4.” Percy quickly responded as her cruiser turned onto Armen Avenue. The shrieking wails could be heard through her car, even with the windows up. With her sirens blaring the crowd around the man and Parker quickly aired out, leaving Bonnie and the man to their own devices, not far from them Was Ramsey. Trying to desperately get through the crowd to his niece and Parker.

Percy's eyes widened as she saw just who exactly was in the arms of the dangerous man. Part of her wanted to freeze in place, the other wanted to beat the man until he was dead. Percy, instead of reaching for her sword, reached for her gun. Her Glock 19 was firm in her hands as she hissed. “Put the child down! I will open fire!” Parker was still crying In the man's grasp. This was the worst possible outcome. Not only was she being held hostage by a man, but the cop who had to stop this situation was her aunt. And Parker could see Percy's anger plastered on her face.

A familiar voice rang from the crowd behind them.“Damnit..! Move!” Ramsey was shoving his way through the crowd, pushing anyone that was in his way. He must've heard Bonnie's scream from that dingy apartment not far from here. “Bonnie!” Bonnie was trying to hold her own. Out of all the fights she’d been in, this one was the hardest one. She should've expected it, she was picking a fight with a man who belonged in prison.

“Put the weapon down!” Percy gripped her gun harder. Her arms were flexing so much to the point of shaking. “I will open fire! This is your final warning!” Her usual monotonous voice was full of emotion. Anger and fear. Her gloved finger was on the trigger, ready to pull. The man simply gave a twisted smile. He lifted Parker up by the collar of her hoodie.

“Ya’ wouldn't shoot a kid, right officer?” The man adjusted his position to be holding Parker up in front of him, still by the collar. Her hoodie was slightly small on her and this action caused the hoodie to start choking her slightly. She let out a gasp for air. “Not especially yer daughter… right?”

Percy out of instinct lowered her gun. “Put her down. Now.” Her voice was still stern as ever but it held a great amount of fear. The man simply put his pocket knife up to Parker's neck.

“An’ if I don't?” The man asked with his twisted grin. Percy couldn't respond. Her mouth went dry. She looked around. No other officer was here. She was the only one. She felt hopeless. If her niece were to die she would never forgive herself.

The red-headed rat man came barreling out of the crowd. “Listen to the damn cop, jackass!” He stumbled out of the crowd and next to Percy, who was surprised by his sudden entrance. “Put the kid down, an’ you'll leave with your face still intact.” Ramsey raised his arms, and got into a fighting stance, his arms were made entirely of gold. Bonnie was on the verge of passing out. She stood next to Percy as well.

“Put my best friend down. You have no business with her.” Bonnie said her voice filled with resentment and anger. The man was outnumbered, three to one.

The man gave a laugh, an unnervingly hearty one. “This girls comin’ with me. She's too purtty to be left out here… alone.” The man gave a weirdly unnerving smile. Percy has just about had it. Her gloves came off and her sleeves went up.

“You'll find that my daughter is coming with me.” Her voice hissed. Ramsey and Bonnie exchanged glances but didn't think much of the statement. “As a police officer, I have full jurisdiction to use force if I'm forced to. And you'll find I am an excellent boxer.” Percy got into a fighting stance, throwing all weapons to the side. No sword or gun. She had her fists and pure will.

Thean gave another unnervingly hearty laugh. “I'd like to see ya try.” As soon as the man finished his sentence, Percy swung. She delivered a swift yet powerful punch at the man's jaw, sending him backwards. He dropped the pocket knife, moving both of his hands to his jaw. “What the hell!” He let out a long wince. Before he was able to recover Percy kneed him in the gut. He barrelled over in pain. The pocket knife that was on the ground he picked back up. And lunged at Percy. Percy caught the man's arm before it stabbed her, but the lanky man was surprisingly strong. She wouldn't be able to hold it forever.

“L-Leave her alone!” Parker's heart wrenching cries rang out as she tried to attack the man who was currently trying to stab her aunt. “Stop it! Please!” Parker tried her best to fight the guy off of her aunt. The man threw her off of him, and sent her stumbling backwards onto the ground.

That distracted the man long enough for Percy to knee him in the jaw. His jaw made a loud popping noise. She dislocated it. The man grabbed his jaw, clenching it in pain. “You whore! God damnit!” He winced out. He turned away about to book it out of there, before his ankle was grabbed. The grip was as strong as it could be from Parker. Her tear stained face, and her pitiful voice didn't sway the man, it only agitated him more.

“No… you're not going anywhere…” Parker said as she gripped the man's ankle.

“Let go of me, bitch!” The man tried shaking her off, but quickly realized that wasn't going to happen. In a last ditch effort to get away he kicked Parker in the face, knocking her unconscious. Her grip loosened as she passed out, leaving the man to be able to run away. Percy wasn't letting that happen. Quickly summoning a wizard tower to paralyze the man.

The lighting sprung out of the tower and electrocuted him. Making him black out. Percy threw the eraser cuffs to Ramsey and shouted. “Deal with the man, I'm getting Parker!” Ramsey, noticing the shocking amount of worry on her face agreed. He ran over to the man, quickly cuffing him, as Percy ran to the unconscious teenager, laying face first on the concrete. Shouting her name as she ran, Percy felt herself grow more worried. Tears were forming in her eyes as she crouched to Parker's level. “Parker…? Sweetheart please, don't do this. Parker?” Percy felt her throat closing up as she tried to shake Parker awake. She was out cold. Percy checked for a pulse, out of worry. Thankfully one was still present. “Parker, love, you gotta wake up. Please.” Percy was begging for her to get up, give her a sign she was alright. Before Percy knew it tears were streaming down her face. There was no stopping her emotions, she was already melting down.

Ramsey handed the guy over to the other officers who finally arrived at the scene. He quickly ran over to Percy who was bawling now. “Aye, Percy. You alright?” He asked crouching down next to her, he put a caring hand on her back.

She shook her head no. How could she be alright? She let her niece get hurt, if she hadn't got there sooner it would've been worse. Percy knew this was her fault. “No…” She sobbed out. Ramsey really didn't know what to do in this situation. He'd never seen Percy so distraught. Ramsey quickly called Bonnie over, to see if she could do anything about the situation. The two brought Percy over to the other officers, handing her over so they could hopefully do something about her state.

Soon enough the scene was filled with ambulances, cop cars and news anchors. Percy wanted nothing to do with them. She wanted to crawl under a rock and die. She wanted to be away and just cry. She knew this was her fault and she was responsible for Parker getting hurt. No matter how much Ramsey and Meryl tried to soothe her.

“Percy, it'll be alright. She's in good hands. Please calm down.” Meryl said as she stroked Percy's hair. The two were crowded around Percy, who was sitting in the open back of Meryl's police cruiser.

Percy kept crying. “I-I failed… I didn't make sure she was safe… it's all my fault…” She wiped her face, smearing her mascara across her face.

“It ain't your fault Percy. You didn't know this would happen.” Ramsey tried to soothe her now. He knew that Parker wasn't able to go out at night, let alone Halloween night. So he knew who's fault it was, but he wasn't going to bring it up. Not now at least. “Like Meryl said, she's in the hands of the hospital. That's the safest place she can be right now.” Percy cried into Meryl's shoulder, getting wet mascara all over her white coat.

“I'm… I'm supposed to be the safest person for her… I failed…” Percy’s cries dissolved into soft sobs as she spoke.

“Why was she out alone anyway?” Meryl asked as she continued stroking Percy’s, now messy blonde hair.

“I don't know… she was supposed to be at home…” She responded.

“I think I know what happened.” Ramsey glared over to Bonnie who was currently giving her statement to an officer. “Parker most likely snuck out. With the help of Bonnie…” He pinched his nose bridge.

“W-what..?”

“You heard me Percy.” He responded. “I took Bonnie's phone last night, all the girls, except Dalia, were online talking about Parker and how they wanted her to come with ‘em tonight.” He sighed as he looked over at Bonnie. “I can't believe she'd go this far.”

Percy hung her head. She knew this would happen. “I- I figured…” she sniffled. “I'm too hard on her, I- this I didn't want this to happen.”

“None of us did Percy.” Meryl comforted. “It'll be okay though, just keep your head held high.” She placed a caring hand on Percy's shoulder. She looked at her watch. “Let's get you out of here. Your shifts about over anyway.” Meryl helped Percy up, and led her to her police cruiser. She held out her hands for the keys, which Percy willingly gave. Meryl started up the police cruiser and drove away, leaving Ramsey and Bonnie at the scene, they lived close by, they'd be able to get him easily.

“Bonnie Lynn, get your ass over here!” Ramsey shouted as she gently tapped his foot against the ground. Bonnie heard his call, and heard her middle name. It was serious, but not as serious as her full name. Bonnie walked over, her hands in her pants pockets. “Just what the hell were you thinking?!” Ramsey spoke. Whenever he started a lecture like that, Bonnie knew it was going to br ranty and lengthy. “I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and assumed that those texts were just jokes, but no. You deliberately go behind not only my back, but Percy’s as well. Tell me Bonnie, what the hell was going through your mind when you decided to help Parker sneak out?”

Bonnie hesitated. “I thought I was helping. She always seems so sad she never gets to do stuff with us. I'm sorry.” She hung her head, as her uncle continued his rant.

“Bonnie, look at me.” He paused letting Bonnie lift her head to look up at him. “Percy does that for a reason. She doesn't want Parker to get hurt, like I do with you, she does with Parker. Yes I'm aware I'm not a perfect figure, but I'm better than a lot of people out there. But the point is, that was dangerous, dangerously stupid as well.” He paused, catching his breath slightly. “Bonnie, you're a good kid. You mean well, but when it comes to people's lives, you gotta let stuff happen. If Percy says no to something, either let it slide or come to me. Okay?”

Bonnie nodded. She looked up at Ramsey. “Is Percy mad at me?”

“Percy doesn't do mad, disappointed, yes. But she'll never be angry at you.” He reassured. As he looked at Bonnie he noticed the cut she had gotten from the fight. “That's a nasty scar, hey, you match your old man.” He pointed to his own eye scar.

“I guess.” Bonnie sighed. “I just really didn't want Parker to- y'know.” Bonnie's voice held a bit of guilt. Ramsey knew exactly what she was referring to, and found it admirable Bonnie was trying to save Parker from that.

“I know, kid.” He pat her back with affection. “You did good tonight. But don't let it happen again.” He warned.

“I won't, old man.”

“Good. C’mon, let's go home, the police have a lot of work to do.” Ramsey wrapped his arm around Bonnie's shoulder and led her away. The walk back to their dingy apartment was mostly silent, the two walked side by side, all was silent for most of the walk, but then Bonnie's standard ringtone went off. She was ignoring the first time, but they kept calling and calling, to the point she had to answer it. The caller ID was Sabrina. She answered it and was met with the loud sounds of the tired girl's voice.

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??? IS PARKER OKAY???” Sabrina shouted from her line of the phone.

“Parker's fine. She's in the hospital right now, but she's fine. Why?” Bonnie asked.

“The news dumbass! It's all over. ‘Local teen fights of creep, authorities get involved.’ WHERE DID YOU TWO EVEN GO ANYWAY?” Sabrina shouted through the phone. She was clearly concerned, and her volume was starting to make Bonnie cringe.

“We went to Armen Avenue.-”

“ARMEN AVENUE??! ARE YOU INSANE?!” Sabrina shouted. Murmurs of Dalia and Mr.Ashling could be heard in the background. Before Bonnie knew it, Dalia took Sabrina's phone and started speaking.

“Is Parker okay? We heard she took a good kick to the face. What about Percy, is she okay too?” Dalia asked, her volume much more manageable than Sabrina’s.

“Yes, Parker should be fine. Percy was crying a river though.” Bonnie replied. The other line was silent for a good moment before Sabrina shouted again.

“PERCY WAS CRYING?!?! WHAT DID YOU-”

Click.

Bonnie hung up and put her phone on silent. She already had to speak about the situation to the police. She didn't want to do the same thing with her friends. She sighed. She wasn't gonna hear the end of it for a while.

Percy and Meryl were in a silent car ride. Originally Meryl wanted to take Percy straight home, but Percy voiced that she wanted to get the statement and paperwork out of the way. Percy was fiddling with her gloves the entire ride, her leg bouncing as she did so. Meryl noticed Percy's state of anxiety. She knew it was from the previous situation but she felt the need to ask anyway. “Percy, are you alright?”

Percy shrugged. “I'm not sure. I'm conflicted. And worried. Half the police force saw my meltdown, they're gonna put me in mandated therapy before I'm able to work again.” She sighed. Talking about feelings were hard for Percy, and with a stranger it was even harder.

“That's okay. Maybe it'll help.” Meryl tried to make light of the situation. “I'm sure the therapy will help you get rid of feelings you've been avoiding.”

“Avoiding? I don't avoid my feelings.” Percy said, defending her way of feeling.

“Yes, you do. Ramsey told me you called Parker your daughter, despite the fact you know she's your niece.” Meryl said. “You don't just do that. If you say something it has meaning. With that, I think that you're avoiding the fact you think of Parker more than just your niece. She gives you a maternal feeling, doesn't she?”

Percy went silent. “What does that feel like?”

“Well. It varies, I'd assume.” Meryl started. “It's like when you really want to be there for someone, and look over them like they’re family. Which Parker is, but, I think you see a part of yourself in her.” Meryl said as she looked directly at the road in front of them.

Percy thought for a moment, thinking about what Meryl said. “I'm not sure if I do. We're two different people. How can we be alike?” Percy asked.

“I'm sure you'll figure that out. You always do.” Meryl smiled. The drive went silent again. Maybe Meryl was right. But how? Percy thought about it and just couldn't find an answer. The car pulled into the police station, and the women got out. Heading inside. Percy knew she didn't want to be here, she wanted to be with her niece, even if it was in a hospital.

The cadets stared at Percy as she walked through the police station. She was disheveled, her hair awry, her mascara smeared across her cheeks, and her uniform wrinkled and dirty. Percy immediately got to her paperwork. The statement was the most daunting part. Her penmanship, which was mostly neat, was barely readable. The pen ink smeared as she moved her hand across the page. Her leg bounced underneath the desk. Her breathing was uneven, and her eyebrows were furrowed the entire time. Minutes turned into hours as she did the paperwork. It was almost three in the morning when she finished, and she had been up since 6 yesterday. She had been awake for almost 21 hours. She felt like passing out. She turned in her paperwork and left the station, walking out into her police cruiser, and getting in. She sat in the driver's side seat, just sitting. She was in no state to drive right now and she knew that. She sat there, for a good minute. Before resting her head on the wheel. She sighed. “What is wrong with me?” She asked herself out loud. She felt like crawling under a rock and dying.

After a good minute, she finally started the car. She was in no state to drive right now, but she didn't care. She started to drive, following all the proper road laws and obeying every light and sign. She drove a good twenty five minutes to the hospital, and parked. She knew visitor hours were over. Even so she still stayed in her car, to tired to drive home now. She leaned the seat back the farthest it could go and laid back. Sure it was uncomfortable and the bright lights from the hospital and lights from the parking lot were unbearable, but being at least this close to her niece made her feel at ease. She moved her arm to cover her eyes, hoping to block out some of the lights that were coming from the parking lot. Percy's thoughts spiraled as she sat there, each thought different and contradicting one another. She blocked them all out. Soon enough she fell asleep.

Hours passed and the sun started Percy in the face as she woke up. As she sat up from her uncomfortable position in the seat her back cracked. The car clock read 9:12. Five hours of lousy sleep that she didn't even count as comfortable. “Damn.” She winced as she fixed her seat to be in the upright position. She stretched the best she could, given the small space she was in. Visitor hours were from 10am-10pm. She had a little over half an hour to kill. Though she didn't feel like killing it. Percy, even though she knew the hospital wouldn't do anything about letting her in, decided to start walking up to the hospital anyway. As she was walking through the parking lot she pulled out her phone. It was almost dead, not having been on the charger for almost a day. There were a couple of texts, ones of which she was too tired to answer right now. Walking into the hospital she was met with the sounds of a man panicking, however, this wasn't just any man. This was her brother.

“Who cares if I'm early! My daughter is in there, injured! I swear to God I will sue!” He threatened.

“Daniel. Put the empty threats away.” Percy commanded in a tired tone. Daniel turned around at the sound of Percy’s voice.

“Percy? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I was going to make sure my niece is alright. Now move.” Percy's tone was cold. Colder than normal.

“I-Im sorry to intrude but visitor hours aren't until ten…” the small older receptionist lady behind the desk stated with a wavering voice.

“I am aware. I was going to wait.”

“Wait?! Percy! Parker is in there!” Daniel shouted. “She could be dead!”

“She's not dead. I know that, because I was there.” Percy’s tone got colder. Her brother's lack of common sense always bothered her.

“Oh, if you were there why the hell didn't you do something?!” He said back, his voice getting louder. He widened his stance, his six-foot frame trying to intimidate Percy. She was tired, anxious and upset. She didn't have the time or the patience for his shit today.

“For your information, I did. I was there, I fought him off, and I did my job as an officer and a caregiver. Something you wouldn't know about because, for the last seven years, you and Harper have been in Glassport doing God knows what.” Percy snapped. Her tone didn't raise, but it got cold and harsh. “And only when it's convenient for you is when you do anything for Parker. When was the last time you spoke to her?” Daniel didn't reply, he stood there. His arms crossed. “Exactly. I didn't think so. I have done my damnedest for this girl, trying to do everything in my might to understand and connect to her. The only reason you sent her with me is because of her neurodiversity damnit. God forbid anybody in this family be different.” Percy was surprisingly gentle with her rant.

“So I'm not allowed to make sure my daughter is alright?” Daniel retorted.

“She's not your daughter anymore when your sister has been her goddamn caregiver for seven years!” Percy was getting loud. She felt slightly bad that she was arguing in a hospital, but she needed to tell her brother her thoughts. “Tell whoever the hell you want, but Parker is my daughter! I've fed her, clothed her and put a roof over her head for the last seven years! And I've done all that while still maintaining my job, my social life and my own neurological condition!” She breathed heavily. “So no, you have no right to call her your daughter.”

Daniel scoffed. “What the fuck ever Percival. That damn autism still making you a stubborn little shit.” He rolled his eyes and left the hospital. He wasn't gonna deal with her shit, to him she was still a child, one who couldn't do anything on their own. She was viewed like that by all the King men in the family. Percy being left standing there, breathing heavily, looked at the clock on the wall, 9:44.

The older receptionist lady behind the desk quickly scribbled on a pink piece of paper and handed it to Percy. “Here, love. If anyone asks, tell them you've been waiting for a while and I let you in early.” The piece of paper had the receptionist's name on it, a time, and the room number for Parker.

Percy nodded. “Thank you.” Percy took the paper and held it in between her index and middle fingers. She wasn't expecting to argue with her brother this early in the morning, hell she wasn't even expecting him to be here at all. But she meant every word she said to him. Percy walked through the quiet, cold halls of the hospital. The smell of stagnant death in the air. The smell was off-putting, so much so that she resorted to mouth breathing.

Parker's room wasn't much different, the smell and vibes were the same. Percy didn't bother knocking or anything. Parker was seen on the bed tapping her fingers together. She noticed Percy walk in and went to speak, but before she could Percy walked up and hugged her. This hug held more meaning than the other hugs they had shared in the past. This one was tighter, and full of protective love. When Percy pulled away she placed a gentle hand on Parker's cheek and spoke. “Are you alright?” Parker nodded.

“Yeah, I'm okay, Auntie. You look tired… Are you okay?” Parker asked back as Percy held her hands.

“I'll be fine. Just a little shocked is all.” Percy responded.

“I'm sorry. About everything… I should've-”

“No, don't say anything.” Percy hushed her. “I know what happened. And I was expecting it. You're a stubborn girl, and you're a problem solver. You sneaking out wasn't as much of an issue as it was what happened last night.” Percy squeezed her hands in her own. “I know you weren't expecting it, but you did well holding your own.”

“If I did well, why am I in a hospital?” Parker asked. “And if you're not bothered by it, why do you look so stressed?”

“I'm stressed because I'm worried. About you. And the way I handle things…” Percy admitted as she sighed. “I know I'm not perfect, I'm far from it. But I try. And what happened last night scared me. And I'm sure it scared you just as much.” Parker nodded. It gave her one hell of a scare.

“It did.” Parker said. “Why do people like that exist? I was minding my own business.”

“I'm not sure, sweetheart. Just know he's behind bars now.” Percy softly smiled as she moved a strand of Parker's hair from her face. “Did the police come speak to you?”

“Yes ma'am. They did. I gave them my statement and everything.”

“Good girl.” Percy smiled. “I'm glad you're alright. I don't know what I would do without you.”

“Die?”

“Who knows? Glad I won't have to find out.” Percy laughed a bit. As she gave Parker a side hug. The two went on, carrying on conversation for a while. Soon enough a doctor came in.

“Ms. King?” He said. Both girls perked their heads up. The doctor looked at the two and asked Percy, “You're Parker's mother, correct?” Percy was going to correct him, she was her aunt, but figured she might as well just accept it.

“Yes.” Parker gave Percy a confused look.

“Here's her discharge papers. Fill these out, give them to the front desk and she's able to leave.” He handed her a clipboard, then promptly left the room.

As Percy was filling out the paperwork she could sense Parker's look of confusion. “Parker? What's with the look?”

“Why didn't you correct him? You always correct people.” Parker asked as Percy continued the paperwork.

“Simple. Didn't need to.” The confused Parker more. Percy went on to explain. “If I take the role of a mother, I might as well accept it, right?”

“I assume?” Parker said. “So… I'm your daughter…?”

“Not biologically. But yes.” Parker let out a noise of acknowledgment and happiness. Percy wasn't usually this open with how she felt. But she wasn't objecting to it. “Paperworks done, grab your stuff.”

“Yes mom” Parker said jokingly as she grabbed what few things she needed to.

“Let's not go that far.” Percy responded.

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adelle-ein · 6 months

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rambling about the ocd

so yeah yesterday not only did my ocd therapist tell me i have the highest ocd score she's ever seen (and like, she is not a new or inexperienced practitioner by any means) she told me that apparently a lot of my thought and behavior patterns are obsessive-compulsive. and a lot of them tie back to really extreme morality ocd, which actually explains a lot about the ways i've acted my entire life that were just brushed off as weird/quirky/generically anxious. even my other ocd "types" (contamination, etc) are all manifestations of severe morality ocd (i fear various forms of contamination because it makes me immoral, essentially) (that's fun).

i really didn't think it was that bad. i didn't think it was especially bad at all, truth be told, just one of the many diagnoses that make up my weirdness. but actually it's probably been the root cause for everything all along, including stuff i dismissed as just my own weirdness, like the extreme sensory processing stuff that's developed lately (fwiw i bought some new water bottles and significantly improved my hydration so working towards recovery on that). but since i don't have any compulsions that cause myself visible physical harm i didn't think it could be Real ocd. like i don't handwash to a dangerous level or self harm or starve myself, so i thought it was okay (nvm that i have caused myself extreme and permanent-feeling mental damage lol)

i've been perpetually exhausted, 24/7, since i was fourteen. because my brain's been at constant war with itself and still is and inhibits everything i do. because every single action i take is like moving through a molasses of obsessive thoughts and finishing compulsive rituals. my self esteem is somewhere in the marianas trench bc i feel like i'm constantly violating moral norms 24/7. the drugs that allow me even basic function worsen the fatigue and the brain fog and the weakness, but i need them or i literally can't stop doing compulsions. like if they stop making it or something i would need 24/7 care from my parents again bc i wouldn't be able to feed myself or shower or sleep.

i had been wondering a lot the last couple of years if i was autistic, especially with the sensory stuff, but it's now dawning on me that i just have the absolute worst fucking ocd that manifests itself in literally every aspect of my behavior and thought patterns. it looks very autistic on a surface level and gets me a high raads-r score, but probably isn't. like i could still be autistic, sure, but it's most likely that i just have incredibly severe ocd with every "less common" side effect known to man - sensory issues, routine and planning, social anxiety, stimming, etc etc. i did know that ocd/autism/adhd symptom overlap is huge but not that it was this huge.

none of this really changes anything, like i still need treatment, she's still gonna see me, but like, fucking hell. even i had been downplaying how sick i was, and probably still am, like even now i'm like well it can't be THAT bad i'm not dead :) but it is that bad. it's insanely bad. it's far worse than the "well everyone's kinda anxious and depressed right?" standard i keep tricking myself into believing i am. even now i'm STILL fucking questioning it bc i see people with ocd who seem so much worse than me but really i think that's more about what people are willing to put on the internet....i do not share my worst obsessions and compulsions generally and even when speaking privately to people i still downplay things heavily, i just can't do it. i'm extremely good at masking and hiding and downplaying because i've been doing it my whole life and a lot of my compulsive behaviors look pretty normal from the outside...but they're still very bad and the obsession levels are out of control high. and i've been doing so badly lately that i've had to step back from social media a lot because literally everything is a severe trigger at this point, from fandom drama to serious political stuff, because i get caught in a severe mental morality feedback loop every time i see something that can trigger it which is now a lot of things. but the stepping back also triggers a morality loop wheeeeeee (i see a ukraine flag emoji and have to sit there processing extremely distressing Moral Thoughts about ukraine and the war, for like...a while. to give you an idea of how severe it's gotten and why i've absolutely had to go quiet and careful with how i interact with pretty much everything, esp online where extreme positions are really common. i'm also really prone to picking up other people's anxieties and compulsions rn so again have to be SUPER careful what i look at - a tumblr poll about cleaning habits or similar can trigger compulsive behavior...)

it would be super cool if the ssa had cared about any of this but that ship's long sailed and they don't believe in or speak with therapists anyway (at least not in my state, they refused to even contact my therapist for the review they kicked me out over. even MD mental health practitioners aren't really exempt, they treated my psychiatrist incredibly rudely...)

but yeah no wonder i'm so dysfunctional and struggling so badly if i'm this abnormally ill ig

#this isn't very coherent i'm just...processing #txt #lacevent

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cheemerthelizard · 1 year

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after watching half of MP100 season 1 in about two (2) days, I think I can definitively say that Mob is definitely autistic-coded, and that his psychic powers are an allegory for romanticized mental illnesses/disorders.

Mob being autistic coded is pretty obvious to anyone who knows the littlest bit about autism. I'm sure if I watched it in 4th grade, I would say that Mob kind of reminded me of some of my autistic friends, and maybe even a little bit about myself (I would probably also say that watching it in 4th grade would've scarred me for life, but that's not the point). His inability to "get a clue", his uptight keeping with the rules, his utmost trust in whatever anyone says, and many other traits are very reminiscent of traits found in autistic people.

Of course, Mob's personality isn't the main spotlight I wanted to shine on this post, but rather his psychic powers. Now, I personally think that his powers were specifically designed to be an allegory for autistic people who mask certain traits of theirs, but seeing as there are a lot of connections I could make with my undesirable ADHD traits, I believe these powers could be an allegory with just about any romanticized mental illness or disorder.

You may have noticed that I opted to exclude Mob's difficulty to express his emotions in my paragraph listing his autistic traits. Well, this is because that specific trait is linked to him repressing his emotions so that his powers don't leak out and potentially cause harm. Now, in the case of autism, this could be a metaphor for any number of autistic tendencies (stimming, infodumping, etc.) but it could easily serve as a metaphor for tendencies in other disabilities and illnesses, such as the inability to control one's voice with ADHD. They're traits that others consider weird and annoying, which sometimes makes it hard to make friends.

Of course, there's also the "percent till Mob explodes", which can so easily be a metaphor for meltdowns. Now, I'm not sure if it's from the autism or from some unknown mental illness of mine, but I personally tend to bottle things up until they burst, going into a fit of despair and self loathing, accompanied by loud crying that embarrasses me to no end. However, I don't think those are the type of meltdowns that the show meant to portray. I think it was specifically going for the meltdowns that autistic people feel when they reach a level of overstimulation that pushes them past what they can handle.

And, of course, there's a reason I said Mob's psychic powers were an allegory for romanticized mental illnesses. That's because of the usage of psychic powers in the first place. Everyone wants psychic powers. I mean, imagine all of the things we could accomplish if we could use telekinesis or see ghosts! This same mentality is used to tell people of any neurodivergency that they should stop taking their "cool superpowers" for granted. People with ADHD can get into the zone when they really like something and get so much done (and absolutely zero done on things they don't like)! People with OCD can always live in a clean space (and compulsively pick/scratch at their skin, leaving permanent scars)! People with autism can see the world in a different way than everyone else (and can become ostracized from that world because they see it differently)! These things are similar to what Mob has to deal with regarding psychic powers.

tldr yeah Mob is the autistic icon the anime community needs. him and jotaro are besties and hang out together not talking the entire time

#oops didn't mean to write an entire fucking essay on MP100 and its autistic allegories at twelve in the morning #it's the autism or adhd probably lmao #Mob Psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama

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haejjoon · 1 year

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BARKBARK I LOVE TRANS HCS im not trans myself but when i see how happy they make my trans friends & my partner???? TOSSES THEM AROUND LIKE CANDY u get a trans hc! u get a trans hc! WE ALL GET TRANS HCS

also may i say. adhd/autistic phantoms ? good shit

also ur mention of how trans goro is more common than trans akiren makes me wanna pop off about infantilization in fandoms and how it ties into misogyny, trans-misogyny and nsfw content and its characterizations and just fjbvkfnb. im a social sciences major and i LOVE discussing infantilization in the context of sex and gender and disability i love that shit. anyway idk where i was going with this but tldr i love ur characterization of goro <3

OHHHHH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST STARTED.....

prefacing this by saying: i have adhd. although i haven't been able to be properly diagnosed (with the things hooked up to my head etc etc) thanks to america's stunning healthcare, i am like.. 99.999999% sure i have it. my therapist, who i used to see regularly, agrees that i probably have it.

NOW. i'm sure we all know that futaba sakura our favorite gremlin girl ever exhibits some clear symptoms of autism. i don't need to get into it because there's a million and one analyses out there about her behavior, but i will say that i both love/hate how atlus depicted her. on one hand i love that the group just.. accepts her for who she is, i love that they don't try to change her, i love that they don't fall into the "ooh you're so smart though so your disability MUST be a superpower!" trap, and that they mold around her to suit her, and not the other way around.

THAT BEING SAID.....

i have SUCH a bone to pick with how they decided to go about her 'healing' arc. the phantom thieves give her a week--a WEEK--to readjust to society. and yeah i guess that while you could argue that she's just had her trauma supernaturally lobotomized out of her, it doesn't change the fact that she's... still gone through it, you know? just because she learned to stop hating herself for things out of her control doesn't mean her social anxiety disappears in a snap. she turns out alright by the end but the extremely pushy nature of the thieves to get her out of her shell ALWAYS rubbed me wrong. taking things slow and one step at a time is wonderful, and i'm glad they decided to go about that approach instead of just throwing her to the beach like they originally wanted, but they still should have taken it... slower. one week is HARDLY enough.

also, i fucking hate how they constantly talk about her while she's in the same room as them, as if she can't hear what they're saying. they said things like, "oh she's pretty normal, huh" and "she can hold a conversation just fine!" and while their behavior isn't one completely out of the ordinary for dumb teenagers to exhibit, it still really, really pisses me off that they do it wiht her in the SAME ROOM. im sure it wasn't meant to come off this way, but i always got the feeling that they attributed her 'quirkiness' to her not understanding how groups worked at all, which is why they were so open about discussing HER MENTAL HEALTH without including her in the conversation.

okay i'm done with futaba--quick hcs im throwing out there: ryuji has adhd, yusuke also has autism, mishima has autism, goro has ocd. boom bam bop, you've been hit by the 'tism beam.

PLEASE DO POP OFF ABOUT THE INFANTILISM it's honestly such a gross sight.... the amount of times ive seen goro depicted as some small, feminine twink is genuinely staggering, and it's always left such a bad taste in my mouth because i KNOW it's because his character, at least for the majority of the plot, is polite and soft spoken.

not to mention how incredibly fetishizing it feels. i won't get too into it, but the amount of shuakeshu ive seen where one is drawn/written as larger than life/confident/suave and the other is meek/skinny/easily embarrassed? ohhh my god. please. akiren isn't some smooth jerk who makes goro blush with a well-placed quip, and goro isn't a crazed yandere who shuts akiren away from the rest of the world. they're both fucking losers who don't know how to process their feelings for the other because of their very, very embarrassing rivalry. stop degrading one to fit your perfect mlm narrative.

sigh i didn't mean for this to become a social commentary or anything, but .. lo and behold... here we are. i'd love to hear your thoughts on my takes, anon, and i'd love to hear the thoughts for anyone who read thru this too! while i do have adhd/am trans i can't speak for those who fall under the autism spectrum or for cis gay men, so if you'd like to correct me in my thinking PLEASE go ahead and do so, i'd love to be educated on topics i don't fully understand. have a good one <3

#character study #persona 5 headcanons #futaba sakura #goro akechi #persona 5 protagonist

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slow-burn-sally · 11 months

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Ok, yeah, so I think I'm autistic, and through studying up on autism traits, I've started looking at the world around me very differently. Which in turn, led me to reevaluate why I like my favorite characters, and so here's a list of my favorite characters that I believe are autistic, and why. This is just my interpretation, and my headcanons, so please don't assume I'm trying to state this as unassailable fact.

ps. I'll totally do an ADHD version of this next.

1 - My precious bean, Thomas Jopson - The Terror AMC

I mean, just look at him. He's so well organized and dedicated to his job. He's riddled with childhood trauma, and this results in him doubling down and trying really really hard to keep history from repeating itself (losing a parental figure or someone deeply important to him to illness and death). He only really makes eye contact comfortably with Crozier, and he's very single minded. Being a steward is his special interest, and he is EXTREMELY INTO IT. He's uncomfortable talking about himself, and once his order and routines are taken away, he pretty much goes off the deep end. My poor bean. Very autistic.

2 - Gilbert Norrell - Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell

Probably the most cut and dry example of an autistic character in entertainment media history. He loathes socializing, hates parties, and just wants to be left alone with his books and his magic (his special interests). He's also ace, so he finds most human beings, with their obsession with sex, and their need to gather and talk loudly together, completely incomprehensible. He's always felt like an alien, and a loner, and struggles to make social connections. When he does, he hangs onto them (namely Childermass). My grumpy, socially inept baby. Ily Gilly, and now I know why I identify so strongly with you.

3 - Sherlock Holmes - All Media Types (but for the purposes of this post, I'll focus on BBC Sherlock).

I almost don't have to say anything else. The whole fandom knows this bad boy is neurodivergent. He's got insane sensory issues, will disappear into his special interests (criminology and deduction) until he literally keels over from lack of food and sleep. He's socially inept, blunt, uncomfortable with touch, and doesn't like anyone but Mrs. Hudson, John, and Detective Inspector Gary Lestrade. He's probably a virgin, and could be ace, depending on how you see him, but as I've written a lot of Johnlock smut, I don't see him that way all the time. He's incredibly intelligent, and knows a lot about the world, but with strange gaps in his knowledge that can only be explained by not at all being able to drag his focus away from his special interests to learn things like basic astronomy, or what to say to people at a party.

4 - Tintin - The Adventures Of Tintin

This boy is very autistic to me. I'm not honestly sure why I feel this about Tintin. Based on the 2011 movie, which I'm the most familiar with, he seems both driven, goal oriented, and socially naive. He stumbles into danger by not reading the situation, and he lives alone with his dog. His best friend is a hyperactive-type ADHD alcoholic, and he strikes me as queer and autistic. If you feel the same way, let me know what you think.

5 - Fitzwilliam Darcey - Pride and Prejudice

I saw this hc in a recent youtube video by Yo Samdy Sam, and I cannot unsee it. Look at this autistic boy. He's grumpy, anti-social, and really into reading, but he also cares deeply about his loved ones, and strives to do what's morally right. He is so socially unaware, that he can't understand why Elizabeth would have rejected his proposal, even though he just totally ripped on her whole family. To be fair, Elizabeth's family are an autistic person's nightmare. All the wild cackling and gossiping, and obsession with who's marrying whom. Four sisters in law, two of whom are inordinately obsessed with ribbons and giggling, and only one of which is also autistic (*cough*Mary*cough*)

6. Bunty Windermere - Father Brown

She has zero filter, and often does not understand why the things she says are hurtful or inappropriate. She's obsessed with fashion, and she's got a keen mind. She could sit around in some posh mansion somewhere, but she chooses to spend all her time with an old priest, and a grumpy church lady, solving crimes and putting herself in danger. She likes fast cars, (and can get under the hood to fix them too) handsome men, and really cute handbags, but is also perpetually single. She doesn't fit in in the world of cocktail parties and society events that surround her, because she's just too blunt, and bucks convention by being independent, unmarried, and slutty).

8. I know this is turning out to be a list of grumpy introverts, and I don't want it to seem like that's all there is to autism, but JUST LOOK AT THIS AUTISTIC BOY - Hermann Gottlieb - Pacific Rim

Hermann is pretty classically autistic. Obsessed with math and numbers. Needs order to feel safe. Is very frustrated with other people's messy, inexact opinions. He only really warms up and comes out of his shell when he falls head over heels for his ADHD-as-fuck cannon boyfriend Newton Geiszler.

9. Last but not least (for this list anyway) DI Richard Poole - Death In Paradise.

Another clear cut case. Tons of sensory issues to light, heat and crowds. Everything must be in its own special place. He's rumored to have never had a girlfriend, and can't understand people's obsession with frivolous things like friendly greetings, small talk, or anything that's not crime solving. He falls madly in love with Camille Bordey, and pretty much flubs any chance he has with her, before dying because he's bad at facial recognition. I love you so much Richard. Never change.

Again, just my opinions. This is helping me figure out my own internal world. There are definitely more than one way to read these characters, but to me, they feel autistic.

#autism #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #autism spectrum #autistic characters #headcanons

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erigold13261 · 1 year

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Do you have neurodivergency HCs for the NSR cast?

Not extensively. Only a few vague ones really. This is gonna be a more messy post with not a lot of organization, so sorry bout that.

I definitely headcanon Papa, Mama, Yinu, 1010, Mayday, and Dodo as some kind of autistic. Though that could go to a lot of the cast actually.

Papa, Eloni, and Dodo are (was in Papa's case) non-verbal. Dodo being fully non-verbal, with Papa and Eloni being selectively mute (Papa being even less verbal than Eloni).

Neon J and Mama have PTSD, Neon from war and Mama from the death of Papa (also a grief disorder, but I see his death being so traumatic that she has similar symptoms to PTSD, especially if she needs to go to a hospital).

I saw a headcanon, or analysis, of Eve once that said she either had Bipolar disorder or BPD (I think it was BPD) so I kinda see her as having that. Maybe autism and trauma as well. She might also have an Avoidant Personality Disorder. So either way I do think she has a personality disorder.

Tila has schizophrenia. Another headcanon I saw someone else had around the start of NSR coming out, which I really liked but just haven't explored more. (Though it is less common for a teenager to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, it is still something that happens. I don't think Tila is fully diagnosed yet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have it).

Purl is definitely something. Autistic is definitely one of them, but I see them as also having some kind of anger issues or personality disorder, I think some of the Cluster B and C personality disorders fit Purl a lot (like the Antisocial and Dependent Personality Disorders).

Oh yeah, Eloni, Purl, Eve, Remi, and Sofa also have sever anxiety. Honestly the whole Sayu Crew has anxiety. (Just figured out that phobias are a type of anxiety disorder so next paragraph will be that).

Zimelu has claustrophobia (small spaces), Haym has acrophobia (heights), and Rin has a pretty strong fear of bugs (not sure if it is on the same level to say it has entomophobia, but it is really bad at times which only gets worse with Eloni's pinned bug collection). Oh yea, Purl has thalassophobia (fear of the sea, which they hate given they are a navy bot, but the war fucked them up with the sea).

For DJ... I don't know, he does have some sort of superiority complex, but I've seen people analyze them and talk about how selfless they actually are in wanting to make sure humanity is remembered (he was just going to be the avatar for Earth). So like, I don't really know. There is the fandom headcanon that he has Narcissism, which I do think about some times. And honestly I remember someone with Narcissism saying the difference between someone with Narcissism and not is that a Narcissist can't be content, they always need that new fix to make them happy because they literally can't be content with life (at least that is how I am remembering it, I really hope I'm not misremembering and thinking of a different mental disorder), and with that i can see DJ as having Narcissism with the way he also acts in game (though it could literally just be a big ego).

He probably also has autism/sensory issues and depression. Actually, speaking of depression, I can see Mama, Zuke, Neon, Purl and Eloni as having depression. Also Dew to an extent.

Rin also has a really terrible memory. Whether that is because of a mental problem or mechanical one is up for debate, but it really doesn't remember things and sometimes that is a huge stressor for it, especially in relationships. Maybe it's ADHD, specifically the Predominantly Inattentive Presentation one/version (is version the right word to use here? idk).

And speaking of ADHD, I think Mayday, West, Remi, and Haym definitely have some form of ADHD. I can also see Zuke, Sofa, Papa, and Maragold as having some ADHD as well.

Carna is a kleptomaniac, or is at least showing early signs of kleptomania. Thankfully fae hasn't stolen anything outside of the mansion right now because fae hasn't been out much, but 1010 and Neon would have to keep a close eye on faer to make sure they either stop faer or pay for whatever is stolen.

Going back a bit, I think Sofa has an eating disorder, so does Purl (which isn't as impactful as they are a robot, but in human AUs Purl still has an eating disorder which gets really bad in their teens).

Kliff might also have some narcissism going on. Maybe some autism as well. I feel like he has something else going on, but I can't think of anything at the moment.

Oh Neon also had/has an addiction problem or a substance use disorder (he had it and have been sober, but it is still something he struggles with daily). Purl also has a drug problem, and I can see Zuke, West, Mayday, and Eve also having mild substance abuse problems. They would not be seen as fully addicted by societal standards (except maybe Purl, they are an addict definitely).

Tatiana, hmmm... I think she has an attachment disorder, or like a fear of abandonment that she copes with by pushing people away. Maybe a bit of depression too.

Also, though it is less a mental disorder and more signs/symptoms of other disorders, I think Mama, Neon, and Tatiana all have anger issues. Whatever it stems from, i don't know, but they have them.

There's probably more, or these will change at some point. But that's what I have for now. Sorry again for it being messy.

#nsr #no straight roads #eritalks #noart #asks #i like how i said i was gonna be vague #and then give this long of an answer #i do it all the time #lol

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desert-bluffs-and-me · 1 year

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Not every autistic person is like Carlos and saying they'd have to be so in order to actually be autistic is really ableist. I was just sharing something I thought you might be interested in you didn't have to be so rude about it. Is it really so hard to just say oh wow yeah that's good evidence he had autism cool or is it too hard to let autistic fans have anything?

I never said Cecil would have to have the same traits as Carlos to be Autistic????? When I mentioned Carlos I meant that it was made really clear to us, as listeners/readers of It Devours!, that they really did mean for him to be Autistic. We went from casual observations of Carlos' social difficulties, SpIn in his work, fave numbers and stimming to additional confirmation that he has trouble telling when somebody is joking, takes things literally sometimes and has sensory needs. That made it very clear that it was Autism and not just that Carlos was quirky/eccentric. For Cecil there's just too much going on (for me) to say yeah it's Autism for absolute sure. He grew up in NV where the social culture/cues are different so might appear odd/incorrect to us but is very typical for NV this includes his stubborn views on things like education. He had a traumatic upbringing which likely stunted his social and maybe developmental growth. He has Depression. He could have whatever mental illness his mother had if you believe in mental illnesses 'running in families'. He has traits of ADHD/ADD (imo and you've seen my post so you know what I mean) which overlap with some Autistic traits people keep saying he has.

All of these things can be very much seen in canon without having too much doubt cast upon them (imo). You are absolutely free to headcanon him as Autistic, or any combination of ND as you like, or completely NT and just eccentric. I'm just not interested in having differing hc's pushed into my inbox as if I were 'wrong' about my own interpretation (you literally said 'did you know he's actually probably autistic' though I'm paraphrasing). Also yeah hi, Autistic fan here! Not preventing any of us from having anything! I'm sorry if I came off as rude before or now but I'm not replying to anything but an apology from you at this point :)

#anon #cecil palmer #cecil gershwin palmer

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skyllion-uwu · 9 months

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1, 3, 7, 8, 12 and 13 for the disability pride ask game?

1. What disability/ies do you have? (And are they mental, physical, or both?)

*Music starts up*

Physical: Crohn's Disease, Celiac, Scoliosis, AND Kyphosis. My ankle might also have something going on with it but I'm not sure if it's a disability from "this has been left untreated for too long" or something else

Mental: Autism, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, probably more shit if I keep digging but right now I don't think I need to

3. What, if any, disability aids do you use? Do you customize them/their containers/outside?

I have an ileostomy because my large intestine is so fucked up from the Crohn's that I basically can't go to the bathroom normally anymore. I have a cover that a nurse made for me but I always forget to put it on so no customization. I also have some citrus slice chewelry necklaces if those count but I need to order other ones

7. What's a struggle you wish more people talked about?

I think I just wish people talked about ostomies or even just gastro issues in general? Like the most acknowledgement I see are IBS jokes and I can never tell if people are laughing because yeah it is hell or because ha ha poop. I remember when I was first told I'd need an ileostomy that I was like "well this is the end of my social life" because of the stigma around fecal matter. It still gets in the way sometimes but like, my friends don't care. The airplane attendants didn't bat an eye and just helped clean up. My family is constantly trying to help and support in any way they can. Just people acknowledging it as something normal so that when someone does have to get one it's not terrifying to them

8. Does your disability affect how you experience other parts of your life?

Being autistic DEFINITELY plays into me being non-binary. I think my OCD also affects my sexuality like yeah I'm aroace and looking back I've always been like that but my OCD affects how I explore it. Which fucking sucks.

12. What's something people don't realize about your disability?

My parents don't seem to realize that yes I'm autistic and that means sometimes there's more to it than quirky things they like. I've gone non verbal a couple of times and gotten in trouble for trying to communicate in writing, I sometimes have a flat "bitchy" voice because I don't have the energy to emote and that doesn't mean I'm angry at them I just can't be a cartoon character anymore, and I've gotten in trouble for vocal stimming. Also same with ADHD, I get in trouble for not remembering some things over others and not having time awareness. Like sorry my brain latched onto a video game instead of reminding me to grab the cat's dishes because I'm leaving in 10 minutes (this means nothing to me)

13. What's the most Abled Person Thing someone has said to you?

I have TWO things. First one, I used to have this therapist I chose because she said she worked with autistic patients and I was starting to suspect I was autistic. I brought it up at the first meeting, she never really brought it up again except for our second to last meeting. She suggested I was a "highly sensitive person". I looked it up then and

Oh my god it's literally just autism symptoms. I was like "do highly sensitive people tend to be autistic?" and she was like "Erm it's often confused FOR autism". She also specifically said "if" I was autistic that I'm "likely high functioning" and "it wouldn't be worth getting a diagnosis". I don't plan on trying to get diagnosed anymore but at the time it felt like a punch to the gut

The second was also when I was a skeleton (flaring up and losing a shit ton of weight because I couldn't absorb any nutrients) and was being pushed in a wheelchair at Disney World. My mom was pushing me and we were headed to the Nemo ride. The cast member at the line entrance "jokingly" said "Don't think you're the princess for the day" and other stuff after that I blocked out. Sir putting aside the misgendering I am almost quite literally a skeleton and barely have any energy. I do not think I'm the princess I think I am going to die YOU CAN SEE MY BONES-

#asks for sky #nibwhipdragon #ask to tag

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unluckyhoneybee · 11 months

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I need to rant and get this out.

My experience right now on the route to self dx, self discovery and looking for support:

(English is not my first language, maybe there are some terms written wrong or something, I don't plan to offend anyone, I just literally translate a lot of stuff. If it's the case, tell me and I'll correct it)

I think it was around November when I started seeing these tiktoks about adhd. My first thought was to think that it was bullshit and those weren't symptoms, everyone taps their foot when nervous or stims a bit. Right?

Well, it started bugging me a bit when instead of this "cute and quirky" videos, more serious stuff started to shoe up on my time line. It talked about attention and focus issues, about adhd paralysis, sensory issues, executive disfunction, hyperfocus, etc. I related too much to all of this.

I decided to start researching about this. I literally hyperfocused on Adhd. I could only think about it, watch videos, read, follow people, etc. I discovered that no, some of those symptoms I thought were common for everyone were not. I discovered that yes, everyone can tap their foot when they are nervous, but it's something truly common for adhd people. It's a common trait.

Well, I reached the point in which I needed to start talking to someone. My friend as adhd. She is literally my best friend. I wasn't expecting a reaction like this. I told her I believed I had adhd and she said: No you don't, you are really intelligent. You probably have really high IQ. Cool. I felt like shit and tried to explain to her that I had been reading about certain symptoms and that it made sense. She made me list some of them and then told me that it wasn't adhd, it was probably just something else. "I am very sensitive to noises and crouds and going to bars makes me anxious" "You are really introverted" that shit hurt and for a couple of days I felt lost. At that point I was so sure I had adhd and many things had started to make sense.

Then I talked to my sister and she said, it's alright. What do you plan to do now? I don't know. I still don't know. But she stayed with me, she let me rant and understood, she asked questions and listened to me. Also, she had just made a friend who is working on her diagnosis and I'm so thankful because we are always exchanging experiences.

Coming back to my best friend. When the idea that I have sdhd settled back, I realized that it made her insecure. She is really insecure. She is not the best in the class, she had a hard time studying and passing exams. She always said it's the adhd and she truly believes that it makes you stupid or something (no blame to her, her mental health is on the floor and has too many problems to deal with and fix). I get better grades, I know a lot of stuff about nature, animals, etc so for her, if I have adhd and can pass some exams it means that she is a failure and could do better.

Then, after admitting that I have adhd I started talking to my mum and dad because I'm sure it comes from my dad's side of the family and there are many (dad included) that have adhd in there. Okay. My mum has her doubts. Again, I'm intelligent. How am I going to have an attention deficit?

My cousin (5yo) probably has autism. Everyone in the family is worried because he needs to be "fixed". Bullshit. Yeah. But I have felt very misunderstood for my whole life and I'm not going to play that game. I started researching because I read about Audhd and because Im 90% sure that the kid is autistic. I want to be ready if someone brings it up in my family because I know that they won't do it in a good way.

During this austism research, I started doubting. What if? Again the same process. This time I only told my sister. Watching how my best friend reacted and how my family talks about my cousin's "problem" I don't feel ready.

At this point, I'm almost sure I'm autistic. I ve read about masking, about how adhd and austism can hide each other when they come together, late diagnosis, how girls get less diagnosed, more and more symtoms... I've done countless of test for both, autism and adhd, and they all come out as positive.

The thing is I don't feel ready to reach for Profesional help:

I have always known I'm different from the people around me. I wasn't like the other kids, like my friends. I preferred to stay at home than going to the park. I had a room full of Playmobil where I loved to spend time playing, preferably alone because other kids didn't "play well" (they didn't play the way I thought it should be played). This feeling of being different has always been there, it's like feeling misunderstood. It doesn't matter how much you try to explain, they never fully understand.

My dad just thinks it funny. Jajaja, my kid says I have adhd. My mum still doesn't see it. So you have that too? The only person that supports me is my sister.

For ages i have been trying to tell them that I need boundaries, I don't like physical touch, I need a lot of alone time, I have meltdowns and shutdowns and sometimes can't manage my feelings well. Every time I try to stop them they say I'm rude or have the worst moods. Lili is so rude probably the sentence I have been told the most in my whole life.

I've read some stuff about how sometimes an asd dx can close many doors and don't have many benefits for some people.

I don't want to face my family and have to explain but I really want to because of my cousin. I don't want him to grow this confused because now I look back and many things would have been so different if I knew what was going on. I've felt like shit so many times because I couldn't work out stuff and function it like others wanted me to. If I only had an answer...

I fear negative results. If they tell me I don't have any of this disorders, I know I'm gonna break. Plus, I don't have that much money to go from therapist to therapist.

I really fear rejection and people doubting my words. I don't want to have to prove anything to anyone but I know that it can happen.

I'm in a place in which I have settled for this. My personal experience plus what I have learnt, tell me this is true. I have adhd and asd. I'm not in a good place to look for a proper diagnosis yet, so the self dx is the only option. I'm starting to open up and understand many things about myself and how my brain works but still it is so scary to have to tell people. My symptoms are there, they are just masked. But I also fesr that if I start unmasking people will tell me I'm making it up. So stay "hidden" is the only way right now and it's so frustrating and scary. I wanna feel better and I'm slowly working on it. I'm accomodating my whole life to this new view and it feels good. I don't fear noise canceling earplugs now, or staying at home or just moving away if I need alone time. The rest will slowly come as I learn more and more.

If you have reached this, thank you for taking some time. I needed to get all of this out. Another day, I'll talk about my symptoms and traits, I'm still ordering those and trying to see where everything comes from.

#Austism #Adhd #Audhd #Neurodivergent #Honey bee's rants #Rant

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notabled-noodle · 2 years

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ello there, so I have Autism + ADHD (and PTSD idk that might be involved in this) and my mother calls me 'high-functioning' (what she basically means is low support/whatever not needing much help in daily life is) but she really only calls me that because my symptoms are 'less severe' (...yeah that's bullshit she just doesnt see it because she's at work a lot) but in reality I feel as if I do need constant reminders/metaphorical pushes to do basic tasks due to my constant physical and mental exhaustion & neurodiversity and I dont really know what to do: she understands Autism and ADHD (and only assumes I have Autism..yes I'm self-dx sorry) but she doesnt understand how to really help and I'm unsure how to bring it up with her because I feel like my mom's mindset is 'probably Autistic but lets not do anything until we're sure' and I just feel trapped and like a shitty person because I cant really function with my constant exhaustion, Autism & ADHD and even how much my mind thinks about the traumatic events I've been through so like any clue on what to do? (my mom probably wouldnt get mad at me but she'd just be confused likely soo-)

hello! don’t apologise about being self-dx, I understand that lots of people are in lots of different situations and that’s fine.

I think you need to write a list of everything you could benefit from support with, and then find a good moment to take your mum through it. seeing it all written down might help both of you to realise what your needs are, and how much support you really do need.

maybe it’s the autism, but I think a structured and scripted conversation is the easiest way to go about it. yeah, you can’t predict what she’s going to say, but drafting a few conversation starters and making sure you’re ready for the conversation does wonders!

hope this helps, and that your mum comes to understand your needs a little better

#asks #autism

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zeroar · 1 year

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Hello world!

Hi! I'm Zero! they/she pronouns please!

This was meant to be a quick about-me, but I ended up doing something a lot more comprehensive! So yeah, here's that!

I write/work in disability advocacy, social justice, and education. I focus on autism, ADHD, PTSD, cPTSD, and LGBTQIA+.

I am disabled, autistic, dyspraxic, and an ADHDer; I have PTSD—both the acute and cPTSD colors—and prolonged grief disorder; I am nonbinary.

I diagnosed myself with all of these as I grew up and received formal diagnoses for most of them in my 30s. My career in math education mostly ended in 2020 shortly after my love died in the first year of the covid pandemic. Both autistic and career burnout caught up with me; all of these things made continuing being in a classroom untenable.

Although I no longer teach in front of a class, I still write and study on the topics of education, mathematics, and math education.

I have "traits consistent with" being bipolar and having borderline personality disorder (BPD), although I have not been formally diagnosed with those ones. I am probably subclinical for bipolar—"subclinical", as in, a diagnosis would not be appropriate—and I believe that my BPD is better explained through the lens of neurodivergence, PTSD, and cPTSD.

I'm interested in connecting with other advocates, educators, and social-justice-oriented content creators!