#like 90% of that poll said to post now... so here it is! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hopefulromances · 10 months

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I Can See You - Jamie Tartt Smut

I think I only had to post like 120 lines or whatever according to that writers poll (tagged by @whimsical-roasting and @sokkigarden ) but I decided to just go ahead and post the whole thing.

edit: I was actually tagged by @alwritey-aphrodite SORRY

Warnings: Minors DNI (18+ ONLY), sex, pnv, fingering, cunnilinugs mentioned, I'm acespec so give me a break with this

Summary: Roy's sister comes back to town.

Words: 4.1K

Exploring the halls of Nelson Road by yourself wasn’t something you’d thought you’d be doing. It was kinda insane that you hadn’t been here before but I guess there’s a first time for everything. The walls were filled with history and memorabilia of the teams long history in the Premier league.

“You lost, love?” You looked over for the source of the voice. Jamie Tartt. You knew who he was, how could you not.

“Uh, a bit, yeah,” You smiled back at him. “I’m looking for the coach’s office.”

Jamie walked over to lean against the wall in front of you. His eyes were downright devilish as her smirked at you.

“The coaches are in a meeting right now. You’ll have to wait,” he explained. “But don’t worry, I’ll keep you company.

You quirked an eyebrow at him. “Oh, how kind of you.”

“It’s one of my charms, kindness,” he drawled. “Amongst other things.”

You liked this game. You liked his face, actually, a lot. No one could deny that Jamie Tartt was an attractive person, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t stared at him as he played the game. Watching his strong legs and arms float him around the pitch, sweating and jeering for 90 minutes. He was good. Really good. And it was enchanting to watch.

“Other things?” you questioned, tapping your chin. “You must be referring to your excellent football skills.”

Jamie chuckled, his eyes not-so-subtlety moving down and up over your body. “My football skills are quite good, I know. But, eh, that’s not what I was talking about.”

Despite your confident nature, Jamie was making you blush. You looked down, trying to hide the redness in your cheeks but glanced up through your eyelashes. But before you could respond, you spied your brother coming up behind Jamie.

“Roy!” you called out. Jamie flinched, turning over his shoulder to see Roy approaching them. “I got lost, Jamie here was keeping me company.”

Roy glared at Jamie. “Was he now?”

“You’re here to see Roy?” Jamie questioned, looking over at me.

“Course, I am!” I smiled giving Roy a friendly punch on the shoulder. “He’s my brother.”

Jamie’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. “Wait! But you’re not Phoebe’s mum.”

I rolled my eyes. “No, I’m not, I’m Roy’s other sister.” I turned to Roy. ‘You don’t talk about me?”

“Fuck no! Why would I?” Roy grunted, shrugging. “Not their fucking business.”

That last comment seemed very pointed towards Jamie. I nudged Roy sending him a look that said, ‘back off’. Jamie looked wildly, back and forth between you and your brother.

“Anyways, you ready to go Roy?” I asked, trying to release the tension between the two men.

Roy just growled in response before hooking his arm with yours and starting to drag you away. You yelped and smiled, before turning over your shoulder and waving goodbye to Jamie.

“Wait! I didn’t get your name,” he shouted out at you.

“Fuck no!” Roy barked back.

I giggled and shrugged at Jamie, but not before sending him a smile as Roy walked me out the door.

The next time you came to pick up Roy, you waited in the parking lot. But Jamie emerged first, and you couldn’t help yourself.

“Hi, Jamie,” you greeted from your space against the car.

He looked over at you and his eyes lit up. As much as you tried not to let it affect you, seeing him light up at the sight of you made you smile.

“Roy Kent’s sister,” he replied, putting his phone away. “Good to see you.”

“Good to see you too, Tartt,” Your eyes moved of their own accord as they looked down and up his body. He was wearing a denim shirt with the word ICON written across it and a single earring that was driving you mad. “Good game today?”

“Sure, we won” his hands came to rest on his cross-body bag. “You here to pick up granddad are ya?”

You raised your keys in the air. “Got me. Goin’ to Sam’s restaurant thing tonight.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jamie’s eyebrows went up with interest. “You’ll be there?”

“Come now, Jamie,” I hummed, “Aren’t you afraid of my brother?”

Jamie scoffed. “I ain’t scared of nobody. ‘Specially not that hairy bastard.”

You widened your eyes, looking over Jamie’s shoulder. “Hey Roy!”

Jamie jumped, turning around quickly, an excuse already bubbling past his lips. When he turned and saw no one there he looked over his shoulder, frowning. “That’s not funny.”

“I actually found it quite amusing,” you retorted, unable to hold you laugh back. When Jamie turned back around, he was much closer to you. You felt your breathing hitch and stood up straighter, so you were eye-to-eye.

“Did you?” Jamie murmured, much too quietly, much too intimately for the conversation.

But you didn’t back down, despite your shaking breath. “I did, Tartt.”

You and Jamie stared at each other. Jamie’s eyes glanced down at your lips before meeting your eyes again. God, he looked so good. His hair dangling in his face just begging for you to run your hands through it. You see it. Teeth clashing, lips gnawing, hands wandering. All you needed to do was reach forward for him.

You could feel yourself leaning forward when the door to the club slammed open. You and Jamie flew apart, putting a good amount of distance between the two of you. As you suspected, Roy came walking over to the two of you. He looked back and forth at the space between the two of you and the innocent looks on both of your faces.

Finally, he turned to Jamie, and poked his chest, hard. “If you touch her, Tartt. I will rip you limb from limb.”

“I didn’t do nothin’!” Jamie protested. “Was just saying hi, you dusty dirtbag.”

“Hey, hey!” You rushed forward getting between the two of them. “That’s enough alright, both of you. Roy, let’s go.” You grabbed Roy’s arm and started dragging him away from Jamie.

“I’m serious, Tartt! Don’t even think about it!” Roy growled, even as he let you take him away.

“Roy, stop it.”

The restaurant was great, it was beautiful. All the boys from the team were there and the food was delicious. Since moving back to Richmond, you’d been feeling a little lonely and were glad to finally find some people you could hang out with.

Roy introduced you to Rebecca, the owner of the team, and Keeley the PR manager for the team. Both of them were excited to meet you, welcoming you with open arms and a very filled champagne glass.

“So, tell us,” Rebecca started, filling up your glass. “What do you do?”

“Of course, Roy has told you nothing about me,” I laughed, taking a sip. “I’m a marketing consultant for major athletic wear brands. Nike, Adidas, you know.”

Keeley gaped at you. “Babes, that’s so cool, how have we not worked together?”

“I don’t do brand deals, I do more… corporate stuff,” I explained. “Much less fun.”

As they continued to question me, I found my eyes wandering over to Jamie who was sitting, or brooding more like, in the corner. I tried to stay focus on the conversation, but my eyes kept drifting over to him. Was it possible that he was more attractive as moody as he was?”

“What’s his deal?” I asked, nodding towards. Rebecca and Keeley shared a look, both taking long sips of their drinks. “What? Is he like… off limits?”

“No… well, you for maybe?” Keeley responded. “He’s a sweet guy.”

“Keeley and Jamie used to date,” Rebecca interrupted.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” you said, quickly, trying to cover.

Keeley waved you off. “Don’t even worry about it, I don’t care. I don’t know how Roy would feel about it.”

“Fuck if I care what Roy thinks,” I shrugged, downing the rest of my drink.

Rebecca and Keeley laughed.

“Yep, you are definitely Roy’s sister,” Keeley observed, filling your drink up again.

You managed to keep your mind off of Jamie for the majority of the night. That was until he got up and walked into the kitchen, where the bathrooms were. I waited a minute before excusing myself to follow. I found him leaning against the wall, staring at his phone outside the bathroom.

“Well, you’ve been moping all night,” I came over and leaned against the wall across from him. The hallway was pretty narrow, not a lot of space for the both of us but we made it work.

He looked up at me, his face lighting up once again at the sight, but not much. “Yeah, well, it’s Zava, innit? He’s more than enough for that lot.”

I hummed, nodding. “Well, Zava’s not the one I’ve been staring at all night.”

“Oh, really?” He pushed himself off the wall. “Who you been looking at?”

Now we truly were inches apart. Our eyes matched, as he stared at me. I felt my face flush as he boxed me into the wall behind me. I bit my lip, practically salivating as I looked at him.

“I was looking at you, Jamie.”

He pressed you up against the wall, his lips covering yours in a deep kiss. One that took your breath away and left your mind completely blank. So blank that you didn’t think about the rest of the club just a wall away, chatting and eating. So blank, that the fact that your brother would kill both of you if he found out about this didn’t even cross your mind. All you could think about was Jamie’s lips against yours, and the way his tongue was shoving its way down your throat.

His hands gripped into your hips, surely leaving bruises in the shape of his fingerprints for you to find tomorrow. He moved his lips, leaving sloppy kisses down your jaw to your neck where he began to suck a mark right behind your ear. A broken moan slipped past your lips, involuntarily, and Jamie’s lips left your neck. You whined at the sudden lack of touch from Jamie, but he just raised his head to meet your eyes.

“You gotta be quiet, love,” he murmured, bringing a finger up to his lips. “Can’t make a sound.” He brought his hand to your face, tracing your lips delicately, before pulling them away once again. “Can you do that for me?”

You nodded hastily. Anything to get him to touch you again. He smirked before returning his lips to yours in a sloppy, heated kiss. You reciprocated, your hands flying up to tangle in his hair, pushing him even closer into you. Jamie’s hands slipped further and further down your back going down to cup your ass in his hands. The gasp that left your mouth was swallowed by Jamie as he kneaded your skin in his hands. Every part of him was touching every part of you, his hands pushing you into him.

Then, Jamie’s hand was slipping under your skirt. He rubbed you over your undergarments, feeling the dampness that had formed.

“God,” He grunted, leaning his forehead against yours. His hand made tight circles over your most sensitive area, expertly teasing you through your clothes. “You’re so fucking wet already. Is this all for me?”

“All for you, Jamie,” you whimpered back, leaning your head against the wall.

“Mm, let’s take care of you, shall we?” he mumbled, pushing aside your panties.

His callused fingers ran through your slick, before landing on your clit. You couldn’t help but yelp at the surge of pleasure that shot through you. Just as quickly as it was there, the touch was gone in a second. You wanted to cry but Jamie just shushed you.

“If you can’t be quiet, we have to stop.” He brought his free hand up to cover your mouth. “Are you ready?”

You nodded and his fingers were back on you in a second. Keeping one hand on your mouth, he continued kissing your jaw and neck while his fingers explored your pussy. Trying to stay quiet was excruciating, every flick of his wrist sent your reeling as you closed your eyes and tried to quiet your mind. Without warning, two of Jamie’s fingers entered you down to the knuckle. You bit your lip, trying to dampen the wail that was trying to make its way through your lips.

You could feel his grin against your neck as he began to pump his fingers in and out in and out over and over. Stroking your insides just the right way to buckle your knees. But Jamie kept you propped up against the wall. His thumb found your clit pressing against it in rhythm with his fingers. He added a third finger into your pussy, stretching you just enough to drive you crazy.

You felt it building in your lower stomach. The warm pressure building as he pressed his nose into your check, his forehead sweaty against your temple as he focused on building your pleasure.

“You close, baby?” He grunted against your cheek. You nodded again, not able to form words in your mind. All you could feel was Jamie’s body against yours and his fingers knuckle deep inside you. “That’s it, babe, go ahead and cum. Cum for me.”

Then Jamie pressed his thumb against your clit and moved his fingers in a ‘come here’ motion inside you. Like a breaking of a rope, your body snapped as you came. Your head flew back against the wall as your mouth hung open in a silent scream. Jamie smiled as he pressed a few kisses to your exposed neck, working you through the length of your orgasm. Once you stopped convulsing long enough to see again, Jamie removed his fingers from inside you, bringing them up to his lips to suck into his mouth. That alone made you want to cum all over again.

You brought a hand up and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him into searing kiss. You moved your hand down to pull at his belt, but he stopped you, pulling your hands to wrap around his neck instead.

“Fuck,” you breathed out against his lips. You still felt the aftershocks pulsing through you as he continued to kiss your jaw. They weren’t as sloppy anymore, more purposeful as he kissed your skin. “That was good.”

“Yeah?” Jamie hummed, pulling back to look at you.

You nodded at him, sucking your swollen lips into your mouth. “Yeah.”

You wished you could say that was the last time you and Jamie sneaked away for a heated make out session. You started coming even earlier to pick up Roy from work, so that Jamie could whisk you into the boot room and make you see heaven.

He was an addiction. You were his secret mission. The two of you unable to stay away from each other. If Roy ever found out about it you would be done, for sure. But Jamie made you feel things that no one else ever had. He was giving and generous with what he gave, never once asking for anything in return.

But it became a real problem the first time you brought him over to your house. You were lonely, and desperate and Jamie texted you at just the right moment of weakness for you to cave instantly.

He’d barely made it two steps in the door when you attacked him with your lips. He was quick to reciprocate, kicking the door closed behind him.

“Mm, someone’s missed me,” he murmured against your lips.

“Shut up,” you breathed out, dragging him to your room.

He made quick work of you, making you cum in record time against his mouth. He smiled up at you from between your legs, wiping your slick off his mouth. You laid back against the table, your limbs going limp. He crawled up your body, caging you in between his arms.

You looked up at him, head still a little foggy as he leaned down to kiss you. You hummed against his lips, feeling very content in his arms. He moved down your jaw, back to his favorite part to suck behind your ear.

“You wanna let me help you out, Jaim?” You asked, your hands going down to his belt.

He took your hand in his, pinning it above your head. “Don’t worry about it.”

He returned to your neck, sending a shiver down your back. You couldn’t help but frown though, feeling like you owed him something. He’d never once let you give him even so much as a hand job. For the number of orgasms, he’d given you, it was the least you could do. Reluctantly, you pushed his face away from your neck with your free hand.

“Why won’t you let me touch you, hm?” you asked, your thumb rubbing over his bottom lip.

He leaned down to kiss you again, softly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You said that, now tell me why,” you shot back, looking at him seriously. “Why won’t you let me make you feel good, Jamie?”

He cocked his head as he looked down at you, studying your features. “I don’t want you to think you owe me anything.” He leaned down again, his lips hovering right over yours. “I do this because I think you’re fucking gorgeous.” He kissed the corner of your lips. “I do this cause you deserve to feel so good, baby girl.”

You shivered again; he was really good at making you do that. But of all the men you’d dated, all the women you’d seen, no one had ever said anything so beautiful to you before.

“Jamie,” you said softly. “I want you to feel good.” You pushed your hands into his back, pulling him flush against you. “I want you to fuck me, Jamie.”

Now it was Jamie’s turn to shutter. You could feel his hardon beneath his pants. He let out a shaky breath as he struggled to keep his hips still.

“You don’t understand, (Y/N)” He nearly growled. “The things I see in my head… I can see you under me all night.”

“Then make me stay here, baby.”

He didn’t need any more encouragement. His lips attacked yours, kissing you in a heated embraced as his hips ground down into yours. Your hands flew up around his shoulders, his large broad shoulders, before tangling in his hair.

You took control, wrapping your legs around his waist and rolling the two of you over so you were on top. Jamie grinned up at you as you took your shirt off, followed by your bra. He let out a content sigh as he looked up at you, his hands sliding up your back before finding your breasts. He licked his lips as he rubbed over your nipples with his thumbs. You shuddered covering his hands with yours as he held your boobs.

“Alright,” you took his hands off of you. “You are far too clothed.”

He laughed and reached down to grab his shirt, struggling to pull it off over his head. You giggled going to help him as he tried to tug it off. You finally managed to get it over his head and off his hands, balling it up and throwing it across the room. You both laughed as you leaned down to kiss him again.

You began leading your trail of kisses down his torso to his happy trail before finally making it to the top of his pants. You took his belt off, before yanking down his pants. He lifted his hips to help you as you fell back on the bed, tugging his pants off. You laughed again as you fell back on the bed.

Jamie, however, took advantage of your fall to grab you by your foot and tug you back towards him. He sat up and moved you, so you were resting on the pillows, back beneath him as he promised.

“Look at you,” he groaned, looking down at your body as he rolled a condom on over his dick. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” He attacked your neck, like he loved doing. “Underneath me.”

“Jamie!” You cried out as he bit your collarbone.

“Oohh, calling my name,” He chuckled, moving down to kiss the valley between your breasts. “This is what you were made for.” He came back up to your lips, kissing you slowly, tugging on your lip with his teeth as he pulled back.

“Please, Jamie,” You begged, pulling his face back down towards you. “Please.”

He didn’t answer, just kissed you again. But his legs slotted between yours before pushing them apart with his thighs. When he pushed into you, you couldn’t breathe, breaking your kiss with Jamie as you threw your head back. Jamie didn’t miss a beat, following your lips with his own, covering them to swallow and noises that escaped your throat.

He rocked into you, slow and deep, rocking you back and forth with each movement. This was more than just fucking; this was church, and Jamie was your god. You moaned in a high pitch breath resting your forehead on Jamie’s as you wrapped your arms around him.

“Look at me, baby, just me,” he instructed.

You managed to open your eyes to look at him. His eyes were beautiful. A stormy shade of blue and gray that captured you immediately. You rolled over again, forcing him underneath you. You sat back on his thighs, pumping him in your hand a few times before sliding him back between your slick thighs. You let out a breath as he bottomed out inside you. You looked up at Jamie who had a lazy smile on his face as he watched you.

You grabbed his hands and placed them on your breast, helping him to massage them in his hands. You bounced your hips against his, finding a steady rhythm. You adjusted your hips to hit that spot inside you that felt just right. You nearly collapsed against him as you felt him twitch inside you, getting close to the edge. He brought his hands between you to find your clit, rubbing quick tight circles.

“Ahh, Jamie,” You croaked out, falling flush against his chest.

“That’s it baby, keep it going,” He grunted, his snapping his hips up to meet yours.

It was too much. His arm keeping you wrapped against his chest, his other hand pressing onto your clit, his cock filling you just the right way, it was so warm and the warmth spread to all your limps.

“Jamie, I’m gonna-“

“I know, I got you, go on and cum.”

That was all the permission you needed as you mouth fell open and the cord inside you snapped and you stilled on top of him. No sound left your mouth as you stiffened in Jamie’s grasp, static shock filling your lungs as pleasure overtook your senses. Jamie let out a strangled groan as his hips began to stutter and he finally stilled as he came.

Your breath finally caught up to you and you fell off him onto the bed next to him. Your legs were still tangled causing you to face him as you did. Your chest heaved as you worked on regulating your breathing. Jamie turned on his side and pulled you towards him.

You rested your head on the same pillow as him looking up as he propped himself up on his shoulder.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, smiling up at him. “That was good.”

Jamie chuckled as he moved some loose hairs out of face. “You said that the first time… do you remember?”

“Course, I do,” I replied, resting my hand on his waist. “I remember everytime. But this.” I nodded in contentment. “This was better.”

Jamie stared down at you, his hand sliding up and down the thigh that still rested on his hip. It was an intimate movement, but one you welcomed. He got a faraway look on his face as he looked at you.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked.

“Just how Roy really is gonna kill me,” he told you, pulling you even closer to him by your thigh.

“I think we’re long past that stage,” you admitted, shifting to be on your side.

“Yeah, but now I’m proper into you,” Jamie said. “Might even love you.”

And he meant it. You looked between his eyes looking for any ounce of disingenuity but there was none. You lifted your head and kissed him again, softly.

“Well, then he better not find out that I love you, too.”

And you meant it.

#jamie tartt #ted lasso #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso show #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt smut

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azuremist · 10 months

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Alterhumanity and Autism (Script)

During my panel at this year's Othercon, I said that I would publicly post my panel's script, and my survey's results onto my tumblr, for easy archival purposes! (There is no way to submit Google Docs to archive.org that I'm aware of...)

This is the panel's script! What I said before the QnA part of the panel. Once the panel recording is uploaded, I'll reblog with the link to it, as well! The results for the survey will also be posted to this account shortly.

Here is the blurb that I originally wrote for the panel, on the schedule:

"This panel aims to explore the relationship between autism and alterhumanity, by looking at the history, the modern autistic community and what real alterhumans have to say on the topic. Why it is that neurodivergency is seemingly so common in the alterhuman community? Is it correlation, causation, or perhaps something in between?"

And, below is the script itself!

Hi, everyone! I am so excited to be speaking at Othercon this year and I hope everyone else is enjoying the 'con so far. My name is Azure! You may also call me Bede, as I answer to both. I like he/him, she/her and bun/buns pronouns, and I am a multitude of things! I am a demon (a fallen angel if you wanna get technical), and my main fictotype is, you'll never guess who based off my names, Bede from Pokemon. Shoutout to any Pokemonkin listening. I've been active in the alterhuman community for around 5 years now, and was the head and sole mod of ‘From Fictionkind’, which is a zine released in 2022, aiming to explore the experiences of those who have a fiction-based identity. If you are interested, you can download it here. (Send link)

I am a grab bag of disorders and disabilities, most of which I won't list, but what is relevant to this panel is that I am, in fact, autistic. Not only that, but I have done, by all metrics, way too much research into autism, and I am an autistic activist!

To preface: although this panel is going to specifically namedrop and talk about autism a lot, I am sure that a lot of different beings can relate to what I am going to talk about today. Not just other neurodivergencies and disabilities, either. Much of what I am going to be talking about today could resonate with any oppressed being's experiences. I welcome all discussion about the similarities of different experiences with open arms!

But, for the sake of transparency, I am not very good at talking off the cuff. So I am going to spend the bulk of this panel reading from a pre-prepared script. If anyone is interested in a transcript, it is available on Google Docs for viewing! I will send it in the panel chat right now, so that anyone who needs to may read along, for word-processing purposes. (Send link) This also means that I am not going to be looking at the chat a whole lot, so if there's something you'd particularly like for me to see, I encourage you to hold it until the end so that I can be sure to see it and give it the thought and recognition that it deserves. All this being said, I still will be looking at the chat occasionally.

To prepare for this panel, I took a survey polling autistic alterhumans, which was taking responses from March 7th to July 1st, so around 4 months. I was hoping for about maybe 90 participants, but that number was blown out of the water with over 500 responses!! I will be going over those results later on in the panel, and will also be referencing the anonymous freeform responses.

The very last point of my preamble here is to warn that this panel may not be suitable for all audiences. This lecture contains extended discussion of ableism, and, while I try to keep the mentions brief, there will be specific talk of disabled folks, including children, being hurt. If you're unable to handle that at this time, that is absolutely fine. Take care of yourself and have a great con!

This panel aims to explore the relationship between autism and alterhumanity, by looking at the history, the modern autistic community and what real alterhumans have to say on the topic. I hope to, perhaps not explain, but look into why it is that neurodivergency is seemingly so common in the alterhuman community, and whether it's because of correlation, causation, or perhaps something in between.

Now, let's start off with a question and feel free to try and guess: What do fairies, aliens, and crystals all have in common? Do we have any guesses?

The correct answer is that all 3 of these things have been used to try and claim autistic children are nonhuman!

Let's get into the specifics, starting from the top with fairies.

The changeling is a form of fairy found in European folklore. Also referred to as an "oaf" historically, a changeling is a fairy that is left in the place of an identical human child, when they are stolen away by other fairies. This is to say, parents believed that their human child was being replaced by an identical fairy child. There were multiple tricks that were thought to fend this off. When you believe you already have a changeling, though... There were less ways to go about that. Historical records and tales about changelings unfortunately imply that the solution chosen for a changeling child was often times infanticide.

Many modern psychologists now believe that most tales of changelings developed in an attempt to explain disabled children. This includes, but is not limited to, deformities, Down syndrome, Williams syndrome, cerebral palsy, and, of course, autism. The fact that boys are more often born with birth defects lines up with the touted belief that boys were more likely to be taken by fairies.

Furthermore, see "regressive autism". This so-called phenomena occurs when a child appears to develop, quote-unquote, "normally", until they start showing symptoms of autism in their later years. Now, what actually happens in these cases is that they never noticed their child's autistic traits until those later years. But the fact that there is still a name for this sudden perceived shift in an autistic child shows the sheer amount of cases there are like this, even today. Now, imagine how bad it was hundreds of years ago, before we even had a word for autism. This "sudden shift" perspective very much parallels the supposed markings of your child being replaced by a changeling.

Second verse, same as the first: aliens. Although the term "starseed" has been picked up in the alterhuman community as a way to describe one's self as an alien, "starseeds", or "star children", didn't originate in the alterhuman community. Their existence is a theory put forth by Brad Seiger in his 1976 book, titled "Gods of Aquarius". It posits that some humans originated as extraterrestrials, and arrived on Earth through either birth or by taking over an existent human body.

Generally agreed-upon signs that you or someone you love is a starseed, according to believers, include that person feeling like they don't belong, being hyperempathetic (which is a sign of autism, despite what the stereotypes would have you believe), introversion, and... Actually, I'm going to quote this in its entirety. In "What Is A Starseed & 50 Clear Signs You Are One", published by The Spirit Nomad, the first listed sign is, quote, "You are highly sensitive. You easily feel overwhelmed and drained when you are in a place with many people and with intense stimuli – like shopping malls, clubs, and networking events. You might also be sensitive to stimulants like coffee, alcohol and even dark chocolate." Endquote.

You think I'm joking about these things just listing autism symptoms. I'm not!

Finally... Crystals. Crystal children and indigo children are both believed to be sort of the next step in scientific evolution, according to New Age circles. More specifically, crystal children are the newest generation, while indigo children were the first wave, from around the 70s to the 90s. I'll just be calling both of these 'waves' crystal children for the sake of simplicity, but know that they are just two waves of the same thing. Crystal children are believed to possess special or supernatural abilities, such as telepathy. Autistic children having telepathy, as we all know, is the plot of Mob Psycho 100.

Signs that your child is a crystal child include high empathy, being perceived as 'strange' by others or intelligent for their age (see the autistic gifted kid phenomenon), and being sensitive to the point of fussing in crowded spaces. It's also said that crystal children may struggle in socially conventional schools, because of their dislike of rigid authority, being smarter than their teachers, and their lack of response to guilt, fear, or manipulation-based discipline. (Read: indirect communication.)

It is actually a noted phenomenon that many parents, when confronted with a diagnosis like a learning disability, ADHD, or autism, will alternatively label their child as a crystal child. Autism researcher Mitzi Waltz noted this phenomenon, and spoke about it in a 2009 issue of The Journal of Religion, Disability & Health. He suggests that parents recategorize autistic symptoms as telepathic powers to attempt to reconceptualize these autistic traits as a part of a more conventionally positive identity. He also puts into words why this can be harmful, stating that parents could refuse to acknowledge their child's impairments, refuse accommodations, and, quote, "transmit belief systems to the child that are self-aggrandizing, confusing, or potentially frightening." Endquote.

Believe it or not, there are actually MORE examples of myths or conspiracy theories that attempt to explain autistic children as nonhuman. But, I will leave it at those three.

Let's take a brief look into modern media now. Specifically, the "autistic-coded robot" trope. A lot of times, when humans try to write robots, or AI or such, they think that they can just take all essential things that make humanity what it is, and take away a few things. Make them not express empathy, they don't get nonliteral phrases, they obviously speak in monotone. We could sprinkle in a little bit of feeling out of place with humanity for flavor aaaand it's autistic. Your robot is autistic. To name some examples of this trope, think Data from Star Trek, or Zane from Ninjago.

This trope is more or less echoed, beat for beat, with the autistic-coded alien trope. Examples of this flavor of the trope include Peridot from Steven Universe, Spock from Star Trek, or, and I'm sorry for anyone who I'm about to violently throw back into 2016 with this, Keith from Voltron.

Because nonhumanity is so often linked to autistic beings by the culture around us, desiring to be nonhuman or connecting with nonhumanity is now a recognized part of autistic culture. We often feel out of place in neurotypical society. Join autistic spaces, and you’ll see jokes like, “What kind of nonhuman did you think you were as a kid?” (In case you’re wondering, the answer is werewolf for me.) Growing up thinking that the reason behind your autistic traits is because you are secretly nonhuman is a common experience. Jokes about desiring a tail and to purr often go viral within autistic spaces, because they are forms of natural and nonverbal communication that shows those around us that we are happy. The topic of nonhumanity within autistic culture is also talked about within professional settings, such as in Kim Duff’s speech, “The Role of Changeling Lore in Autistic Culture”, at the 1999 Autreat conference of Autism Network International.

There is also discussion of how autistic beings oftentimes connect with animals better than with humans. For example, Temple Grandin is an autistic animal behavioralist who has written extensively on how her being autistic helps her understand how animals feel. For example, she speaks in 2004’s, “Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior”, and in 1997’s “Thinking the Way Animals Do: Unique Insights from a Person with a Singular Understanding”.

In more modern times, we have the 2022 article, “How Autism Connects Me With Animals”, in which Emily Moran Barwick, writes, quote, “I knew how profoundly frustrating, isolating and demoralizing it was to be unable to convey what I wanted to convey. I knew how it felt to never be truly understood. And it broke my heart thinking of what non-human animals were experiencing at the hands of humans; that no matter how desperately and clearly they communicated their terror and pain, they were ignored and discounted.” Endquote.

All of these connections have led to the creation of subcultures created in an attempt to reclaim the dehumanization put onto us. To name one example, voidpunk is a subculture created by tumblr user arotaro in the 2010s, and more or less hinges on this idea. Key points of this subculture include the rejection of the norm, embracing nonhumanity, and comfort in the unknown. In the words of it’s creator, quote, “It’s not the same as otherkin because it’s not really like, “Ah yes, I am a cat/dragon/wolf/that one guy from Homestuck/etc.”, it’s not necessarily something specific, and it’s not necessarily literally believing you’re something other than human. It’s, well, punk. Society puts out a lot of messages about What It Means To Be Human (trademark) that can make a lot of people who don’t completely fit the bill feel lost, broken, alone, or like they’re doing something wrong; Voidpunk is about taking that message of “you’re not human”, making it your own, and throwing it back in society’s face. You say I’m not human? Sure, ok. That’s chill. Why does being Human (trademark) have to be a goal to aspire to anyway? What’s so great about humanity?” Endquote. She then goes on to specifically namedrop neurodivergents as one of the target audiences for the subculture, as well. She also later answers an ask to clarify, quote, “Someone who doesn’t face dehumanization cannot be voidpunk.” Endquote.

So, where does all of this information intersect with the notable number of autistic alterhumans? Well, that’s just the question, isn’t it? Is it possible that alterhuman identity may correlate with those who have identities and neurotypes which are demonized by society? After all, queer beings are common within alterhuman spaces, too. And, if there is a correlation, is there causation there, as well? There are already some terms coined to describe when alterhuman identity is caused or influenced by autistic traits; such as ‘otherspin’, a term for when one’s alterhuman identity is caused / influenced by special interests. Furthermore, ‘altervexo’ attempts to describe identifying as alterhuman out of spite for the dehumanization one has faced. However, to my knowledge, no term has been made or extensive talks had about, voluntary or nonvoluntary, alterhuman identity, as possibly having origins within dehumanization.

So, I set out to have that conversation. As stated at the start of this panel, I ran a survey, mostly promoted on tumblr, from March 7th to July 1st, posing questions to the autistic alterhuman community about their personal experiences, which got over 500 responses! 537, to be exact. I’d like to share the results of this survey with you now. The raw data collected is available here. (Send link) I will also be posting both the raw data, and the script for this panel, to my tumblr, @azuremist, but that’s mostly for easy archival purposes. Now, it’s NUMBERS TIME, baby!

I asked everyone to indicate if they agreed or disagreed with the statements I made. For the statement, “I believe that my autism has influenced my alterhumanity in some way, shape, or form,” 92% of those who took my survey agreed, and 8% disagreed, which is a WILD split. Far beyond notable.

For the statement, “I feel like the way that autistic beings are seen by society has influenced my alterhumanity”, the split is a bit more even, with 72.4% agreeing, and 27.6% disagreeing.

This means that, of those who I polled who agreed that autism influenced their alterhumanity, 78.6% (rounding down) also agreed that the way autistic beings are viewed in society influenced their alterhumanity. This is a rate a bit over 3 in every 4.

This next question is one of the things that I asked more out of personal curiosity, which is, whether or not they feel more safe to be openly autistic in alterhuman spaces, when compared to other community spaces. Of those polled, 89.4% agreed, and 10.6% disagreed, which makes me quite happy! One anonymous being commented, quote, “I generally find that most alterhuman spaces are a lot more accepting of autistic beings than wider society if that makes sense? Going into an alterhuman space, I'm never concerned that it may not be safe or accessible for me.” Endquote. Someone else wrote in that they could testify to the opposite being true, as well; autistic spaces, in their experience, had a higher likelihood of being accepting of alterhuman identities. However, one being who answered ‘no’ to this question stated that they avoid alterhuman spaces for things related to this subject. They list as an example, quote, “Like the refusal of tone tags? I understand not wanting them to be used for you but banning them from the space all together? And also a lot of spaces, despite being accepting of autistic beings, still find a way to hate those beings for being autistic.” Making community spaces safe for autistic beings is an ongoing learning process for everyone involved. So please make sure to consult your local autistic advocate to make sure everything is accessible for those of all neurotypes.

For the next questions, I asked about everyone’s specific experience with alterhumanity. Another question that I asked, mostly out of curiosity, is, “Would you consider alterhumanity, as a subject, a special interest?” 64.8% of respondents answered ‘no’, and 35.2% answered ‘yes’.

The next question, though, is really quite interesting to me. It asks, “If you have any kintypes which originate from a piece of media: Would you consider that kintype's source material a special interest?” 69% of respondents (nice) answered ‘yes’, and 31% answered ‘no’. That’s a pretty close percentage to the question about alterhumanity as a special interest, but with the answers flipped. Indeed, many times in the section where I invite others to talk about their experience, there are respondents specifically namedropping that they believe their special interests contribute to their alterhumanity. Some, but not all, of these instances include a space conceptkin who has space as a special interest, two catkin, with one having Warrior Cats as a past special interest, and the other, cats in general as one, and someone who specifically wrote, quote, “I also feel as though my special interests in some medias have influenced the fact that I identify with both real and fictional species. For example, I have a large number of original characters who are demons and I feel like my special interest in them may have led me down the path of discovering myself as demonkin.” When discussing the subject of autism influencing alterhumanity, special interests were easily the thing that came up the most, other than how autistic beings are seen by neurotypical society.

The final multiple choice question I had asked, “If you have a nonhuman kintype of any kind: Do you experience species dysphoria and/or euphoria?” To this, 85.9% answered ‘yes’, and 14.1% answered ‘no’.

We can compare this to a survey not aimed at autistic alterhumans; specifically, the ‘Alterhumanity and Gender Survey’, as conducted by Eli, at pantomorph on tumblr. These results were posted on July 22nd of 2019, and reported that, in response to the question, “Do you experience species dysphoria?”, 4.9% answered ‘I used to,’ 8.9% answered ‘unsure’, 22.7% answered ‘no’, 36% answered ‘sometimes’ and 27.6% answered ‘yes’. Adding up the percentages of ‘I used to’, ‘sometimes’ and ‘yes’, we get 68.5% of respondents who are certain that they have, at some point, experienced species dysphoria.

This means that, according to these surveys, autistic alterhumans appear to have a higher chance of experiencing species dysphoria, with a 17.5% difference. Though, keep in mind, I included euphoria in my question, and Eli did not. This would certainly require more data to confirm, however, this at least would warrant further polling, in my opinion.

All of this talk about autistic beings and species dysphoria may have you thinking about the fact that autistic beings are statistically more likely to identify as transgender, with some estimates stating that transgender individuals are up to 6 times more likely to be autistic than cisgender individuals! This is because gender is stupid, and autistic folks are not. Multiple respondents to the survey brought this point up. One being specifically wrote in, quote, “Statistically, autistic folks are more likely to know they're trans than allistics, and I support the theory that that's got something to do with autistic beings seeing things without the lens of social cues and societal pressures, including more awareness of who we are and how we see ourselves. … Society is like, "You should be like this," and autistics are like, "But why? It doesn't really make sense, plus I don't fit in to those standards anyway, so why not choose my own path in life?"” Endquote. I definitely agree that the reason so many autistic folks identify as transgender may be similar to, or the same, reason that autistic folks seem to be more likely to be alterhuman.

Hello to all trans autistic alterhumans listening! Call that a triple threat.

Now, the final question that I asked. I listed multiple different alterhuman identities, and asked everyone to indicate which, if any, of the provided labels that they identify with. And, indeed, my hypothesis when going into this question was proven correct. Of the terms that I provided, it was “nonhuman” that most autistic alterhumans identified with specifically, with 74.9% of respondents identifying as nonhuman. Other popular answers to this question included ‘therian’, with 57.5%, and fictionkin with a nonhuman fictional character. Indeed, I did put two separate options for fictionkin, where they could indicate if their fictional kintype was human or not. 45.1% of respondents had a nonhuman fictotype, and 41.2% of respondents had a human fictotype. So, autistic fictionkin appear to have around a 9% (rounding down) higher likelihood to identify with nonhuman fictional characters. Unfortunately, I could not find another survey to compare this statistic against, but it is a statistic we have now, nonetheless.

Furthermore, I specifically listed 3 common kintypes that have been associated with autistic beings, as previously discussed: fairies, aliens, and robots / technology. Of these, techkin was easily the most popular, with 19.9% of respondents identifying as such. Alienkin and fairykin were close in numbers, with 11.2% identifying as alienkin, and 11.9% identifying as fairykin. On the subject of being robotkin, one being wrote, quote, “I do not on a literal, physical level believe I’m a robot, however, tropes related to robots and the way they behave and are treated feel analogous to my own lived experiences, so in some ways it feels as though I experience my life as a robot would.” Endquote.

Which segways nicely into the final question, which is the filled in responses. For this question, I prompted, “If you have anything you'd like to add, please tell me about your experiences involving your alterhumanity and autism.”

Many took the chance to speak on if they felt like their autism and alterhumanity were connected. As previously mentioned, lots of folks mentioned special interests as a factor. Lots of folks also said that they felt the two were connected, but couldn’t explain how, with a common sentiment being that it is a ‘chicken or the egg’ situation. Two different beings whose kintypes are their past lives wrote in, and both said that a hypothetical allistic version of them wouldn’t be able to get memories as easily. Multiple beings also wrote that they felt like the awakening process was made easier due to their autism. They were so used to seeing themselves as different from everybody else, and not understanding social cues, that they were more willing to take on, quote-unquote, “weird” solutions as the source of their feelings. Other commonly-mentioned points include dehumanization as a reason for alterhumanity, autistic traits being seen as similar to animalistic traits, and the possibly-related high rate of autistic pagans and witches.

Something that I didn’t expect going in, but perhaps should have, is the amount of autistic alterbeings who wrote about their struggle to find words to describe themselves. One ghostkin wrote they felt like their nonconformity to their kintype’s typical associated traits (like darkness, doom and gloom, et cetera) was due to their autism, but that they felt they didn’t belong with other ghostkin because of it. And a LOT of folks wrote in saying that they had a lot of trouble figuring out what terminology to use, especially regarding the ever-dreaded ‘identify with’ or ‘identify as’ question. One being wrote in that they see themself as psychological otherkin, but would be more accurately described as having a neurotype-based, or neurology-based, origin, due to their autism. However, this has caused some issues, as it is not seen as a, quote-unquote, ‘valid’ origin. Someone else describes having issues with this because the community does a lot of gatekeeping, and because it is easier to find beings complaining about words being misused than the actual use of words.

Now, there are some responses that I would like to read in full, or mostly in full, for your listening pleasure.

The first one is as follows. Quote. “When I was 6-ish, I started noticing that people treated me a bit like they treated our old Windows ‘98 Dell computer. The computer was inhuman when it worked (and praised for its distance from humanity! “Yes, it can play videos from the internet! Isn’t technology cool?”) and human when it broke down (“He’s getting overwhelmed, give us a sec.” “She’s blinking at me. I have no idea why this is such a difficult task.” “It ate my fucking CD. Stubborn POS.”). It’s a bit frustrating that my autistic traits are only praised when they make me convenient for others to use... I’m self-sufficient, I’m quiet, I’m a fast learner and a thorough researcher, so I rarely need to bother another person to complete the tasks I’m given. But because that’s all anyone ever seems to want me for... It’s a self-fulfilling cycle which is useful for the neurotypicals but exhausting for me, and when it ends in a burnout (inevitable) then I’m finally treated as human, but only because I’ve failed to be the computer they wanted. So I’m a computer when someone’s pleased with me, and I’m human when I’ve disappointed them. You can see why I might like the idea of being a PC more than a person. Also, when something’s wrong, computers’ error messages are both clearer and harder to ignore than a human’s requests for accommodation. This is a bit of a bummer, sorry. The upside is that I’m crazy good at data analysis now.” Endquote. This was excellently put, and I’m sure something that may resonate with autistic techkin.

Another write-in reads, quote, “One does not have to be autistic to be alterhuman or nonhuman, but one does have to be autistic to be my species. My species does not have human neurology, or allistic neurology. To be my species one must be autistic… though it’s more that my species has neurology which allistics will refer to as autism. I could not be my species if I wasn’t autistic.” Endquote. This is a very interesting response, and, to be honest, I sort of wish I knew what this being’s species was so that I could look more into it. It’s almost like a sort of alternate view of autistic nonhumans or autistic aliens, which is just lovely.

Then, there is this submission. Quote, “Diagnosed with autism at 15, explained a lot, I can't help but wonder - if I'd known, would I still dehumanize myself in the way I do? Other kids called me "cat boy" because when they would pick on me, I'd hiss at them. I don't know why. I think I just saw my cats do it and it was the only way I knew how to retaliate. But it just made them laugh. ... I stopped seeing myself as human a long time ago, more of an animal for people's amusement. ... But when I found out about otherkin, it was like suddenly this experience of mine I was certain I was alone in was shared. For some people it's spiritual, but even in our differences, our feelings were the same. The community taught me to love this nonhuman side of me, and they were understanding of my diagnosis. I didn't feel like an outcast there, they made me feel like it was something to cherish, and I do.” Endquote. Again, absolutely very well-said. Reclaiming and celebrating nonhumanity is, from what I’ve gathered, a large part of the autistic alterhuman experience, and this response phrased it just wonderfully.

Lastly, in regards to responses: shoutout to the one guy who said, “I just finished making my first ever tail, isn’t that sick?”, because yes, yes it is.

Thank you so much again to all the respondents to my survey!

And so, we have now reached the discussion section, which will last until my time runs out. This is where I will cease looking at a script, so please send anything you’d particularly like me to see now! Also, feel free to ask me questions, and I will answer to the best of my ability. Alternatively, tell me about your experiences, or just give general comments!

#othercon #othercon 2023 #alterhuman #essays #alterhuman community #autism #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #otherkin #azure does a thing

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raayllum · 5 months

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so i deleted my poll & here's why bc it is both. sad, strange, and a little hilarious. for TLDR, skip all the way to the end

this is what it was gearing towards as of this afternoon & this is why it got weird.

for clarification, the poll was meant to investigate, because i was curious, how many people i had potentially influenced in my writing(s) about callum analysis wise. i actually expected option 2 to be the most common (aka that people already saw him that way) since that's what i've found in my circles; most of the other rayllum writers and shippers i've spoken to reached those conclusions themselves after S2 or S3, if not earlier. so option 1 being the most popular was the first big surprise, as was as many people picking "want to see the results"

here's where things go from surprising to weird. earlier this afternoon, the poll was sitting around 120-ish people and had been in that vein for most of the week since it was published, climbing maybe a few votes every day after the initial boom in a variety of the categories the first like day and a half.

then, steadily, over the course of 5-10 minutes, anywhere from 5 to 15 fresh votes flooded in... all to the same category of "nah i don't see him that way." which wasn't That strange, except

the fandom troll, who is notoriously obnoxiously loud about Not liking this interpretation of callum, also has a tendency of making sock blogs and sending anonymous asks to bait you over and over again, no matter how many times you block them. for Years.

then the number continued to steadily climb solely in that singular category, doubling and then tripling. now, i'm not going to say there couldn't be *check statistics* 50 people who don't see callum as being willing to sacrifice the world for his loved ones/help aaravos if rayla or ezran's lines were quit literally being held at knifepoint, But

When the poll started, I acknowledged the bias the poll would likely be prone to, as my followers - by virtue of following me and seeing and presumably agreeing with what I post - would probably skew in favour of the interpretation, and this was reflected in 6/7 days of the poll's backing, with 60-78% (roughly 70-80 people) of participants leaning towards a shared interpretation. "Nah I don't see him that way" also rose steadily in terms of votes throughout the week day by day, but never cleared more than 8-10 individual people (you're troopers, I respect you, and I hope having the "snake boi Callum" tag makes it easier for you to blacklist accordingly so that you can enjoy your fandom experience)

The Snake Boi Callum interpretation is popular enough in fandom that we actually had a fandom event for it a few months back, plenty of people participated who I felt I wasn't familiar with as well as people I knew I would, and the pieces of art/fic/playlists regularly got 50-150 notes. If there are 50+ people who disagree with said interpretation, they are, generally speaking, not a group who's often actually making things for the fandom at large in terms of fic, fanart, other forms of creation, and not a ton of meta weekly or monthly about the topic and/or outside of that general wheelhouse, either. The 'pro' side is conversely a lot more active; most of the people who have written fic about said topic(s) aren't even me, but other cool lovely talented individuals over the past 3-ish years

The initial wave of votes happened when I posted the poll in the "snake boi Callum," "Rayllum," "tdp," and "the dragon prince" tags to reach a broader audience beyond my more immediate active follower range (as like, 90% of my followers are lurkers, which - respect). This is when it would've made sense if there was going to be an uptick in "nah I don't see him that way" to build

Instead, it happened 6 days into the poll when it was already decently buried by tags, I had recently self-reblogged it back into my accordingly biased circles, and rather than having a general variety, only a singular category went up by close to 40 people in like 3 hours. I tend to gain anywhere from 6-10 followers a week (for example, this week was 6) so that also does not account for the massive leap in a very short amount of time

Therefore, keeping to roughly 125 votes for posterity, and when removing the originally 30-ish or so people who voted for "see results" (significantly less than the first category, but more than the second by a decent margin) as well as the real 10 votes for "nah, I don't see him that way," approximately 85 people voted explicitly in favour of Snake Boi Callum / one of the first two options in general, with my meta being cited as the biggest influence. This is also with me rounding up the numbers of the other categories to likely more than they were, but I want to account for the potential error of my memory, as I wasn't keeping track of where things were super specifically before it started to smell like meddling.

Again, it's not that there couldn't be 50 people with that opinion, it's just that 40 of them, Realistically, did not suddenly come out of the woodwork in the span of 1-2 hours to consecutively vote in only one (1) category 6 days after that would've actually, marginally, made sense in terms of tagging / seeing it in the main tags.

If you're wondering why I presented all my ~ evidence ~ it's because if not, I'd probably be labelled as a liar and/or dismissed (it's happened before, unfortunately) and honestly, it ended up being a little funny to dig into how presumably nuts this got.

TLDR;

Anyway if you ever feel like you're deeply insecure and worried that you're idiotically clout chasing, remember you will never be as Embarrassing as the guy who made close to 39 sock blogs in one afternoon to try and 'one up' someone over an opinion they have regarding a children's tv show protagonist who's believed biggest flaw is that he Loves His Friends.

better poll that cannot be screwed with will follow

#blog-hordika-us #fandom nonsense #the way i don't mind math as much now bc i spent 3 hours today teaching it lmao #like imagine having the incentive to have that many fake emails and that much free time #i could never #i actually worked on my publishing revisions today and that was so nice #also so much mario kart #the irony of being So Mad that i'm like 'callum is gonna fly too close to the sun'#and then you icarus yourself. it's like titanic all over again

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nekropsii · 6 months

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Okey, this is silly but today (17/12, when you're starting the yuri poll) it's my bithday. So in a way, this is kinda like a birthday gift for me. Thanks, nekro.

Also, I'm really happy you're making this poll and hoping people would talk more about the alpha troll girls in part thanks to this, cause all I see posted about the alpha trolls is usually about the guys (for some fucking reason Cr*nus and Kankri) so it's great seeing more bout the girls! They're all so interesting tbh

Hey, happy birthday, Anon!! Glad this is fun for you!!

No goddamn clue why those two are the most popular, especially in the specific way that they are. I've been here for about a decade and the answer to that question evades me to this day. Like, their characters fascinate me, the text behind them both is genuinely interesting, but... I honestly don't ever see people use that text, and I don't know where people are getting the characterizations they're getting of those guys from. Especially Cronus. People just delete both of their personalities and paste their OCs into their skin, sure, but Kankri tends to at least be vaguely recognizable- the same cannot at all be said for Cronus. When you sand down the points and edges of a dodecahedron, you just get a sphere... Which is a different shape entirely. That's a whole new thing, you know? You can't point at that and say it's a dodecahedron anymore. It's a sphere. The argument of "No, it's still a dodecahedron, I just sanded it down to be easier to hold" does not work, since it's literally not the same shape anymore. Shapes are defined by their points and edges. Characters are defined by their traits and narrative purpose. When you remove these things and replace them with something else entirely, you have a different character.

Anyways, it's really funny to me when people will fixate on the boys and men in Homestuck and completely disregard the women and girls. It's especially funny when people try to say its because "they're boring", as if the guys in Homestuck aren't almost always written to be total weenies... Which is especially true of the Alpha Trolls. The guys in that cast are total fucking weenies and I would rather die than be in a room with most of them- the one exception being Mituna, he's chill. Some people will look you in the eye and tell you that Snowman, PM, Vriska, Terezi, Latula, and Aranea are boring, or not as well written as, like, Dirk or something. Some people will look you in the eye, sincerely, and say that Kankri is just "More Interesting" than Meenah, or Porrim. And I get that sometimes certain themes just tickle your fancy a little bit more, but... Come on now. 90% of the time it's never about themes, and we all know it. There's a reason why so much analysis of them are so woefully... Dry.

This has turned into an overly long ramble... As always, and as expected of me. Lol. Have fun with the Yuri Poll!! In this house, we respect women. 🫡

#homestuck #homestuck fandom #alpha trolls #kankri vantas #cronus ampora #nekro.sms

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vocaloidsongpoll · 7 months

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this blog is for seeing how well-known certain vocaloid songs are! but mostly, it's just for fun :)

song submissions are open!!! if you submit a song, you'll be tagged in the post, but you can submit anonymously if you want!

there's no limit to how many songs you can submit and there's no right or wrong way to submit a song! with that said, i do appreciate direct links to videos and any triggers to look out for in the videos so i can tag them appropriately, but these aren't required for submissions!

at the moment, i'm not looking for any particular vocalists to be submitted, so just submit whatever song(s) you would like to see posted!

polls are posted about 5 times every day now, so if you don't see your submission right away, it's still in the queue!

as of april 16th, there are about 90 songs in the queue (18 days worth of songs), so please be patient if you don't see your submitted song right away! much appreciated!! <3

WARNING!!! my blog has videos with flashing imagery. please take care in browsing! the tags i currently use are:

for general flashing imagery: flashing lights, flashing

for imagery with highly saturated colors: eyestrain

for imagery with glitching effects: glitch

for imagery with shaking effects: shaking images

the tags i use for other sensitive content are:

for suicidal ideation/self harm: suicide, suicidal ideation, suicide mention, self harm, self harm mention

for disturbing content: unsettling, disturbing

my blog also tags for: graphic violence, sexual assault, cannibalism, necrophilism, abuse, child abuse, child death, animal violence, screeching sound, loud noise, drug usage, gender dysphoria

please let me know if i forget to tag something appropriately! i want everyone to have a safe listening experience here!

we now also have a youtube playlist featuring all of the songs posted here!

general content warnings: flashing images, mild nsfw content, themes of self-harm or suicide, and more. basically if you can think of a triggering topic, chances are it is (or eventually will be) on this playlist, so just be aware of that going into it <3

we now also have two spotify playlists!

this first one is for songs that i could find exact matches for. there should only be original vocaloid songs in there, but this does mean that it's missing a good chunk of songs.

this second one is identical to the first one, except i put in the closest match to the missing vocaloid songs that i could find. for instance, since i couldn't find an exact match of "game of life" sung by hatsune miku, i put in a cover sung by sick2. the first playlist doesn't have "game of life" at all, unfortunately, because as far as i can tell it's not on spotify.

unfortunately both playlists are missing 60+ songs because they're either exclusive to youtube or i wasn't able to find it on spotify. if you see a song is missing on there that you know is on spotify, please let me know so i can add it to the playlists!

thanks for the support, y'all! <3

#vocaloid #poll #vocaloid music #hatsune miku #kagamine rin #kagamine len #meiko #kaito #megurine luka #kamui gakupo #megpoid gumi #gumi #music poll #vocaloid poll #not a poll #tumblr poll

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rikerxworf · 11 months

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‧⁺✧ Worfriker Week 2023 ♡°‧

Welcome to Worfriker Week 2023!

The whole week from October 9th to 15th is dedicated to creating fanwork that includes Worf and Will Riker from the Star Trek franchise. There are two prompts to choose from each day. They are as follows:

DAY ONE (October 9th): “I need you by my side.” | Fluff

DAY TWO (October 10th): Missing Scene | Poetry

DAY THREE (October 11th): Hurt/Comfort | Transporter Malfunction

DAY FOUR (October 12th): “You look good in a dress!” | Food

DAY FIVE (October 13th): Holodeck | “I will go with you!”

DAY SIX (October 14th): Alexander | Alternate Universe

DAY SEVEN (October 15th): free choice of your own ♡

Please tag @rikerxworf in your tumblr creations so that I can reblog them. There is also an AO3 collection available to post your work there.

What kind of fanwork can I create?

You can create anything, as long as it includes Worfriker and one or both prompts for the day you’re posting on. That includes fan fiction, fan art, edits, collages, photography, videos, playlists, recipes etc. There is no upper or lower limitation/ wordcount for your work.

Do I have to participate on all days?

No, but you can! This is a very casual event.

What if I can’t post on the day of the prompt I like?

As I said, this is a very casual event. The AO3 collection will stay open for a little longer after October 15th, and I will reblog your tumblr post even if it is late. Real life happens, that’s totally fine!

Must I follow the prompts?

Yes, that is a requirement for this event. You are free to skip a day if you don’t like the prompts. If you like both and can’t decide, no problem! You can just as well create fanwork that fits both prompts for the day you’re posting on or even create two fanworks, one for each prompt.

Must my creation be TNG-related?

No, your work can take place in the timeline of any Star Trek show, book or movie, or even completely outside of established canon. No requirements here, anything goes!

Can I create explicit fanwork for this event?

You can, as long as you are over the age of 18 and tag your post accordingly.

I have another question...

Don’t hesitate to send it to @rikerxworf here on tumblr!

Huge thank you to everyone who voted in the events poll and sent in ideas and votes for prompts! I can’t believe we’re doing a rarepair event for a sci-fi show from the 80s/90s for the third year in a row now... You’re the best! ♡ Qapla’!!

#let's gooo #text post #worfriker week 2023 #worfriker week #worfriker #riker x worf #star trek tng #*#(friday the 13th in the holodeck.... so much could go wrong!!)

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 4 months

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Current WIPs/Current Ideas/Random Update

So there's a lot going on in my brain right now and I dont want to be the asshole who posts a poll after every single time I post a fic, but it has worked for me thus far. And if you know me - I have always had more fic ideas than I have had the ability to make decisions. Even before Tumblr got polls, I used to post polls all the time to help decide my next fic. It works well for me

However, I am conflicted about doing another poll because of the inherent bias of the Criminal Minds fandom.

90% of you guys are Spencer lovers, and if I put an Emily fic on the poll, I feel like it will get outvoted no matter what. But I could also be wrong about that - people could be thirsting for an Emily fic because she is lacking attention and vote it up for that reason. But I just hate the idea of people picking based on the character and not their interest in the concept/what would be written about that character

That being said, here's what we're working with:

I am actively working on the Dad Spencer fic (Dirty Laundry - I am slightly tempted to change the title? Idk). I have the beginning finished, and I would say I am about 20% done overall, which is good considering that it's going to be a longer fic. But I really want to work on something else while I am working on it

I love working on shorter smut fics while working on a long emotional fic

And here are my ideas for that:

A Spencelle x (Fem)Reader smut. (I usually default to Fem reader, but if more people want to see a GN reader fic, then I would definitely do that too.) - I had so much fun writing The Perfect Brat and I fucking love the Spenelle dynamic - I feel like it's absolutely something that I need to revisit again. I have a mental image of Spencer tied to a chair with Elle and the reader taunting him and I feel like I need to bring it to life.

The Spencer Cane Smut that was mentioned in the last poll. I compared this to my Abby fic Love From The Other Side (aka the Golf Club fic) - where Abby fucks the reader's pussy with the golf club that she used to kill Joel. Because this fic would be Spencer fucking the reader with his cane. Because the idea wormed into my brain and I need to get it out at some point 😂

I would also love to write more smut for Emily or JJ (maybe both at the same time 👀 Jemily x reader would be so iconic). I do have some drafts for them, which I could post summaries of so people could pick based on those? Idk.

My only issue with putting these ideas into a poll is that Spencer is a grossly popular character, and I feel like putting anything with him in a poll automatically skews the results. And while I love writing for him, I would like the chance to write for some of the other characters who don't get as much attention in fanfiction. So idk what to do

I am also heavily considering opening general requests for shorter things like headcanons/MLTs/reactions. But idk

#sundrop speaks #fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss x reader #elle greenaway x reader #spencer reid x reader

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generationlosscorkboard · 9 months

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Dream interpretation is certainly something, and it's taking it's time-

So I'm just gonna do a quick side review of current information and my predictions:

So far we have the following characters known to us

- The writer (who I've been calling Chronos)

- Jay (previously assumed she/her but I believe those belong to-)

- Mary (assumably Chronos' therapist)

- Chronos's boss (like, a million years old)

- Chronos' family, and dog

- XXXX (the "<- nevermind" one. I'm assuming that this is a person but who knows)

Stuff we know:

Something happened eight months ago and Chronos is trying their absolute best to ignore it. (I suspect X has something to do with it).

Chronos is having weird dreams, but is purposely ignoring their signicance (linked to right month ago event)

We may be affecting said dreams via the polls

they work at a tech place, one that specifically deals with fixing stuff, like VCR units

they do NOT work 6 jobs (they just had their job starting an hour earlier- 6 jobs would probably be more nightmarish than their dreams)

the year is 19XX, though very likely post-1972, cause of the mention of VCR unit. The fact they call some of the stuff like VCR units as "old" it's been a reasonable time since 1972. Sooo... 90s? Course, time could just be real friggin weird-

The polls has some strange influence over Chrono's reality. Specifically, messages through radios and such. (And a lil bit of dream stuff)

My current predictions of what is and is to come:

Chronos is gonna lose their family and the dog is gonna die (Yeah.....)

Jay may also die, and it will be directly because of Chronos actions. because I predict it so. (and it will be incidentally, but yeah.)

Chronos is gonna have to stop ignoring whatever happened eight months ago, but will in doing so is discover something super f--ed up about their reality (if they haven't seen a glimpse of this already) and how much of a lie it is and it's gonna make them go insane-

Mary and Chrono's boss aren't going to be super important, Mary may be mentioned again, but she won't play a major part.

and this final one is just entirely based off this fact:

I once designed an au world in which people were unaware of the fact they're living in dome cities and outside that is an absolutely apocalyptic world where the sun exploded and it's held together by magic and fantasy duct tape (it's a fantasy world, so ignore those elements) and yeah dome people don't know until one scientist realises the sky is like- super off. doesn't make sense mathematically or astrologically. And they go insane!

so if it turns out that they sky is f-ed and/or they're in a DOME CITY/TOWN (or something similar) I'm going to cry again because this will be the third time Chronos/Ranboo/GenLosers have apparently been on the same wave length as me-

(which is also just kinda the Truman show but I promise it's way more than that)

-----(major timeskip)-----

Oh HI THERE! the prior post was written a while ago, but I ended up taking an impromptu step back from everything whislt it was quiet- sorry about that!

Anyways, here it is for you now. I'd best also finished that third dream theory huh! While it's still qui- AHHAHA you think I'd tempt fate like that? Nooooooo. Noooo thank you.

#gen loss #generation loss #chronicle 0 #generation loss theory #tangled tape #zero thoughts #if anyone's curious as to the first and second time #well the first was the name Zero #the second one was the design (or at least Fanon) bc I did a piccrew early into this account of what GL me looks like and uh #I'll leave it at that #although GLranboo can vouch for me #I showed them and they called me out on actually being Chronos again (with /silly BUT IT'S STILL WEIRD LIKE THAT)

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ask-cueball · 8 months

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Hey...been a while, hasn't it?

So this comic has been at a standstill for a while now. I'd like to have a talk about that, and about how we'll be going forward from here, and I need to ask your opinion on something as well. There's a poll under the cut but I'd appreciate if you could read the rest of my ramble before voting.

So, uh...prepare for a word wall, heh. Sorry.

This year has been slow for Ask Cueball for several reasons. First, Arc 1 ended, and there was a long break because of that. Then physical injuries made me unable to draw for a long time. But neither of those really apply anymore. I've healed from my injury (and learning to help what didn't heal) and if you follow my main art blog you'd know that I've been drawing again for a while.

So I've been thinking lately about why it's been so hard for me to work on Ask Cueball, and I think it comes down to two things - one part of it has to do with my art and how it's grown and changed, and the other is my interests and how THOSE have grown and changed.

I do like Ask Cueball's art style, I like how simple and clean and consistent and expressive it is. I think Ask Cueball is really what helped me start to develop my own personal style. But at the same time...at this point, my style has evolved beyond it. Ask Cueball was drawn with a mouse on an old broken laptop. Since then, everything has updated and changed. It feels counterproductive to go back to my old methods of art, like I'm limiting myself, going backwards.

And then when it comes to interests...once again if you follow my art blog, you've probably noticed I haven't drawn anything Sonic or shapebot related in a long time. Things change, I've discovered new things, found myself in fandoms that are...honestly WAY kinder and chiller than the Sonic fandom (because let's be honest, even in our little corner of shapebot hell with a population of like 20 people there's still been some drama).

But, all that said...I still love this place. I love the story, the characters, all of it. I love my fans, especially those who have stuck around even throughout this slow, uneventful year. I love this comic. Which is why I'm refusing to end it here. I want to keep Ask Cueball going, and I've set a hard deadline for myself to release a comic post in November. After that, well...this is where I need your help.

My thought was that maybe it might be quicker for me to update Ask Cueball if I did it in sketches? But I don't want to lower the visual quality...and then that last legitimate option, the one with the comic being cancelled? I will only do that one if it gets above 90% approval. I don't want to end the comic like that, I want to see it through to completion, but if this is what we think we need to do then we will do it.

So basically, this poll is asking what's more important to you, the speed or the quality:

The first option will likely be slowest, but the comic won't lose ANY of it's quality or polish. This is what I'd like to do but I worry about how long it may be between posts.

The second option should be a little quicker, but the comic will be worse, sloppier with little-to-no color, and will no longer have its clean quality.

The third option (again, only happens if it gets above 90%) will be the quickest, as I will just tell you the remaining story over probably 1-3 posts, with little to no art at all, and then it will be done. The comic is over.

Regardless of what wins, the next post will be coming out in November, and it will be in the old style, as it is partially complete and I don't want to switch styles mid-post. I do not guarantee returning to our old weekly posting schedule, REGARDLESS of which option wins the vote.

I felt guilty that I missed the 3rd Anniversary in September, but I also felt like I hadn't done enough this year to really celebrate the 3rd year as though the blog was still going as strong as it had before. I hope that going forward, we won't have to miss the 4th too.

TL;DR - Ask Cueball hasn't been active much this year for several reasons, but it will be coming back.

#ooc #behind the bots #announcement #blog updates #poll #please read #long post

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dreamwatch · 10 months

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WIP Poll Results

I'm not sure if we're supposed to post the stuff we actually wrote? SO anyway, it's under the cut if you're curious. Thank you so much if you voted! This made me look at all my hips, and I cannot lie, made me pull my hair out at how awful some of the writing and characterisation is, but hey! At least I looked at them.

Like A Stone - 1 sentence:

The water was up to his hips now, but as his body shivered with the cold, his mind stilled, and he let go.

Prison Fic - 1 Sentence:

Eddie knows that Thanksgiving is celebrated in prison, on account of being dragged to visit his father (until he was old enough to say no, at least).

Dustin & Eddie - 1 Sentence:

“Did you come here to catch up or to tell me what an asshole I am? Because if it’s the latter, I’m well aware, thanks.”

Steve & Eddie 90s - 9 Sentences (Ok, I actually ended writing quite a bit for this, and it was such a popular choice, so here's a bit more than 9 sentences):

Some very strange things happened while Eddie was comatose. He was exonerated of all charges of murder, he graduated high school, and Wayne and Steve Harrington bonded on account of Steve saving Eddie’s life and Wayne thinking the sun shone, blinding and bright, from Steve’s ass.

“Really? How’s he doing? He’s in Indy now?”

“Actually, I don’t know. We didn’t get that far, you know? He was there with people, and I was, obviously, and I don’t know exactly who was there, but Mike Wheeler, definitely was, you remember him? Tall kid, skinny, long hair? Anyway, not important. It was dark, so I’m not a hundred percent sure who else was there, but Jesus Christ I was not prepared for that. At all. You know, you can’t just drag me over to a table to say ‘hi’ after eight fucking years, and expect—”

“Eddie! Stop, stop. Take a breath kid, for Christ’s—”

“He’s married,” he blurted out. “Steve, I mean. Two years. Apparently.”

“Oh,” said Wayne, softly.

Recovery & Aftermath - 3 Sentences + a couple extra (This fic is a hot mess and I think I need to start over. It was my first, so I suppose that makes sense. I've added lines to a scene I will definitely be keeping).

“He’s alive,” Powell rushed out. “But he was badly hurt in the earthquake. He’s been flown to a trauma centre in Indianapolis.”

Wayne felt sick.

“I have to warn you, there will be officers from IMPD waiting for him and he’ll be kept under guard until he’s well enough to be charged and taken into custody.”

If you read this far - thank you! :D

#my wips #steddie #because I love them your honour #and of course not forgetting St Wayne

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midori-laboratories · 1 year

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As we already know, I absolutely adore your work with Marigold and Wesker! Could we get some fluff of them just having a moment/break from all of the intensity in their lives?

Remember to take care of yourself!💕

Here we go!

Fluff, SFW, a night in with dinner and a movie.

I kind of assume readers have seen the Godfather part 1, but it's not critical. There's a part two coming up in a day or so that's more angst. Enjoy!

@whateverthefuckyouwantiguess, @mydisenchantedeulogy, @momma-vi, @shions-new-blog-of-stuff, @lottathoughts, @organs-fanfics

Downtime

December 9, 1998: An undisclosed location in the northeastern United States

Marigold passed a dubious look over the spread on the coffee table. “I don’t know what this is.”

Wesker ran a finger along the row of VHS tapes that has collected on the bookshelf. Someone in the facility had put out a poll of the “best movies of the 80s and 90s” and acquired the results, very likely on behalf of the woman standing behind him. Marigold had been going through them with the intensity of an Umbrella intern trying to hit a deadline as a means of filling in the blanks of her time out of the world since “disappearing” back in 1981.

There were a fair number of terrible action films from the eighties, some passable science fiction- he’d seen her watching Gattaca a week ago. Ada Wong had apparently shown up in the breakroom with upscale fashion catalogs and copies of Se7en and The Fifth Element the day after Marigold had met with the member of the HCF board. Three days later, several packages of clothing had appeared at the front desk, with a post/it inscribed in block letters: ‘WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!’

On reflection, the two women were alike enough to either hate each other on sight, or take up a sort of quiet liaison. Given how carefully Marigold was staying out of Ms. Wong’s space while in her company, combined with the easy camaraderie and Ms. Ashford’s known preferences, it was something to watch. But also something to let lie until something actually developed there.

Absently, he responded without turning around. “It’s sushi. There’s a restaurant in the next town over that sometimes does catering.” He smirked a little. He had no idea if Marigold knew how to use chopsticks, but it could go either way. Either way, it would be amusing.

There were several horror films in the stack, which Marigold had made a beeline for initially. “It’s not about the bad dialogue,” she’d explained when he’d held up the third installment of the Body Snatchers series. The ones that get popular tend to be the ones that strike something that gets under the audience’s skin.”

Someone had ignored the parameters of the poll and tossed in the Godfather trilogy. Curious, he tipped the case for the first film out of the shelf and held it up. “It’s it not your timeline, but it’s considered a classic now. Have you seen it?”

Marigold stepped up by his shoulder to peer at the case. After a long moment, she said, “I could watch it again.” Her brows furrowed together. “I liked it a lot at the time. I put off seeing the sequel for some time, though. Not sure why.”

“I haven’t seen it in a while. I wasn’t sure if you knew how to use chopsticks. That didn’t start to become popular until about ten years ago,” he nodded back at the food. Marigold had changed into a black shift dress with long sleeves, falling back into presumably old habits of hiding the lines of her body under the formless draped fabric. Despite the highly physical nature of their relationship, the old customs of holding the world at a distance in deference to her mutation still held. They would work on that. She pinked slightly under his assessing gaze, but held firm.

Pushing through, she grimaced at his comment. “I’ve tried once or twice. It was…interesting.”

“It’s a three-hour film, and the food’s not about to get cold.”

Wesker had taken to removing his glasses while in her living quarters, and she could see the dark lines beginning to form under his eyes. Something was interfering with his ability to sleep again. She could hear his heart speed up as the tension of the hospital scene began to draw tight, though he remained otherwise composed. The body reacts, she thought to herself. Even if the mind shuts something out - grief, fear, trauma - the body remembers.

The film had reached the scene where Sonny Corleone was assassinated in broad daylight. Marigold blinked in sudden clarity- that was what this movie bothered her so much, now. When she had first seen the film, she had likened Vito to her belated father, and Barzini to Spencer. Later she would amend that assessment to Spencer being more of a Hyman Roth - a man scheming for ages to take full power under the guise of a concerned mentor. Years after seeing the film, she had taken their bait and rushed into Arklay, only to be taken out like Sonny. Worse still, her younger brother, Alexander, was no Michael Corleone - and he’d likely gone down (not dead) like Fredo, if anything. He'd already begun to feel the fire of Alexia’s resentment back in 1981, and without the moderating influence her presence might have brought -

She broke through her own thought. “I was supposed to retire after that bloody visit.”

Wesker looked at her sidelong, without turning his head. He’d been mindful to dissociate his presence from the incident as best he could these past few months, but he’d still been the face of it. “How would you have done it?”

She shrugged. On the screen, Vito Corleone was learning about the death of his eldest child. What would have happened had her own father lived? “There was always a strong chance I would have developed post-polio syndrome within the next few years, had I never gone on that trip. I had it when I was young. Frankly, it would have been an easy story to sell. The intermittent invalid story worked for a long time. People wanted to believe that I just lived a little harder because I’d likely die sooner.”

Wesker looked at her as she bent across to try for another piece of sushi. There was a nice mildness to the flavor that allowed for complexity. The unagi - it tasted a little like eel - was particularly good, and she said so. Wesker smirked. “That is eel. Different language. They probably ordered it frozen.”

She looked around the platter and eyed the sashimi. “Is this all raw?”

“It’s supposed to be fresh.”

”Not my question.”

“It’s supposed to be a delicacy…ah.” He’d initially interpreted her question as revulsion. The way she had darted forward with her chopsticks said otherwise. The thin filets were trickier to manage than the cylindrical sushi rolls, and after a moment, he plucked a piece out for himself, letting her see how it was done.

She finally managed a piece of salmon and chewed, thoughtful. “It doesn’t taste raw. Fermented, maybe? It’s a lighter taste than some of the gravlax from back home.” Off Wesker’s look, she said, “Americans have shockingly weak stomachs when it comes to seafood. It’s quite funny.” She plucked up a piece of salmon this time. “And I’m hungry.”

Wesker seemed torn between pursuing the line of questioning or allowing the flow of the conversation to take its own course. Marigold watched as he settled on a third option. “I’m sure your stomach is strong enough to handle that then,” he drawled, indicating a green dollop of…something…next to the delicate pink slices of ginger.

“That looks like a condiment.”

“Are you certain of that?” He plucked the entire thing up with his chopsticks and deposited it on the smaller sushi roll left available.

“Oh, now it doesn’t look like lies and trickery, surely,” Marigold responded with heavy sarcasm. She bit her lip. “This better be a poison-free bite,” she said, almost as an afterthought, as she reached down to take the piece he had tacitly dared her to eat, and began to chew. She swallowed, then made a face at him. “That was a lot of buildup for horseradish.”

“That was wasabi. It’s not the same.”

“It’s horseradish. Is this one of those things where people assume we have no tolerance for spicy food? I do not, in fact, have that problem.”

Wesker looked prepared to argue the point, then paused. “It’s strange that you felt you needed to qualify that it not be poisoned.”

Marigold shrugged, tucking her legs under her to curl up comfortably on the couch. “It’s not, really. I know this company I’ve kept well enough to assume it’s coming. There were a few people in and adjacent the company who were rather prolific with it. Confounding them was a bit of a hobby after a while. I don’t know if that ever changed.”

If we’re thinking of the same person, then no- I imagine not.”

Marigold wrinkled her nose at the thought while Wesker used the distraction to tug her over towards him. She tensed, then allowed herself to mold against his side. Wesker traced light fingers along the curve of her waist before pressing firm, holding her in place. “I can practically hear the gears turning him your head,” he murmured into her hair. “There’s at least another hour left of the film. No interrogation. No tricks. Can you trust that?” His fingers kept up their ministrations at her side with alternating pressure, kneading, stroking, teasing. The other kept a firm grip on her knee. The juxtaposition of the extremely normal evening and the slow intimacy of…whatever this was…wasn’t as jarring as she might have thought.

On the screen, Kay Adams was slowly giving ground to the Corleone heir’s cold overtures. On the couch, Marigold glanced up at Wesker through her lashes, slowly, allowing herself to finally relax into him. She could feel him beginning to relax in turn, like he has been waiting to see if she could take the small step toward him.

An hour of normal, simple intimacy. Surely she could allow that much, for herself.

#calendula chronicles #resident evil fanfiction #albert wesker x oc #midori writes

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