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lightpost · 2 years

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When a woman is silent she is slowly dying inside.

I've been silent for far to long I need to break this wall down and start a new love life

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lightpost · 2 years

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I think I'm going through shock from all that's happened to me the past 10 months have been brutally hell from almost dying in nashville to being abused in MI and now today I really don't think i am okay just shaking when i'm not even cold i went for about 3 walks today and just kept busy tried not to think of the things men have put me though almost getting killed to a baseball bat being slammed on the bed to being told none of it was true how I am so fed up with abuse I really need to see some heaven on earth and to hear a voice that my heart craves

Can I just daydream about being in his arms can I lay there all day and be at peace while he reads to me and brings me tea can I be by a fire and lay in his lap curled up with a blanket him rubbing my back can I run to him after work and jump in his arms while he carries me to bed can I just lay next to him warm and at peace knowing he's finally in my life and I feel safe

really need something good in my life after all this bullshit I was just put though I wish I could scream where the fuck are you.. but I know he won't hear me and the world will just ignore me what's the point to this anymore?

I miss someone who has no idea about this. I'm being ripped apart daily.

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lightpost · 2 years

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I need someone new

Someone who I won't have to give a million chances too

Someone who won't force sex the first day meeting

Someone who won't take a baseball bat to the bed when I'm sleeping

Someone who will cook with me

Someone who will massage me and take care of me when I'm sick

Someone who will be there through it all fights and all

hell and back someone who won't stop fighting for me when things get hard

I need someone healing

Someone worthy of having children with

Someone whose got me from day one and we build trust and respect and honor one another

Whose words of love ring through my head more than hurt

I want no I NEED someone new

#I need someone #I need him #lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #lifetimefitness #his voice #december #sunday night #saint louis park #minneapolis #2012 #hisvoice #grey beanie #i need a miracle #lifetime fitness folding towels on fitness floor

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lightpost · 2 years

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Forgive me?

Will you forgive me? I tried searching for you, for wanting to feel. For wanting to feel a voice I tried wanting a better life a healthy way to be. I fought the darkness and the demons won. I tried. for 3,455 days I battled and lost all alone by myself trusted no one and got abused the damage done will take lifetimes to heal I'm in a place I don't belong will you forgive me? Do you forgive me? All I wanted was your voice, hearing it over the phone or in the next room, I just wanted to be around you, wanted to feel a voice and I wanted it to be yours, I wanted to give you all of me, every dark spot every lightening rod every thunder and every calm shore, I wanted it to be you. Will you please forgive me? I tried going to headquarters seeking you that was a mistake I tried denying and lying to myself that destroyed me more I tried moving on and I tried staying calm I tried writing and I've tried forgetting I've tried moving and the wrong guys I tried sleep for days and months on end. I've tried seeking and prayers and I've tried sleepless nights.. What more can I do? What more? How much more can I take? What will become? I've tried.. now this person is threatening to lock me away so I can't reach you or be with you

I'm trying so hard my brain hurts

Please forgive me.

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lightpost · 2 years

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ATTENTION: SEEKING LOST LOVE

There is this man who was at lifetime time fitness in Saint louis park on Sunday night on December 9, 2012 while I was folding towels on fitness floor he spoke to me his voice at that moment gave me fireworks I had an out of body experience when his voice hit my heart it went straight to my soul he was wearing a grey beanie, basketball shorts and a blank tank top he is taller than me and that must mean roughly around 6'0" though he was with a blonde woman wearing pink and purple and her hair was up in a ponytail they were walking up the stairs she followed a bit behind enough to lift her leg and make it look like she was about to kick him but missed I watched him go up the second set of stairs to the men's locker room and she went off to the lady's near the left where all the glass windows are. I was stunned and amazed by that man he is the reason I am alive today and I need him to know a few things I need him to know the truth I didn't want to file sexual harassment charge on him like Lifetime did and I need him to know a few more things I can only truly tell him he has been my heart's desire for a truly long time. My life hurts without him I miss him everyday just to be at waterfalls together or going food shopping I think of him everyday every hour every second he's wrapped so tightly in my soul I have a hard time breathing..

If anyone is willing to help us come back together out of the goodness of hearts and doing karma some happiness the world needs more good deeds and things so please help me find him he means everything to me.

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lightpost · 2 years

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The devil lives in Nashville

I almost died I was raped and followed by 5 guys one even followed me in his car I ran up the hill into a parking lot and away from the street he followed me pulled over opened the front side door and told me to get in I ran back to the hotel and called my friend I was staying with all he did was laugh

I broke down crying at the door his dog came up to give me a kiss I changed my clothes and slept the day away after that

I lost all respect for this "friend" after he offered me coke (drug) I denied it and just wanted to go home

I wish I never went to MI after that I wish none of this had happened

I wish to be with the man whose voice is huge apart of me

I wish to be free of this hell forever I wish some light and a miracle would get here

I wish the next car that comes down my street is his so I can run into his arms and be home and safe.

I wish.

But be careful for those in Nashville demons and the devil lives there.

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lightpost · 2 years

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Good evening

I miss you more than you'll ever know

I'm craving your presences more too

Just to be around you

To be at peace

To know the truth because truth eventually will come to light

Truth can never be hidden no matter the form

Truth will be revealed and truth will be known

You will know the truth

I will tell you the truth

and in the end we will collide once again. I will hear your voice this is my will and my choice.

Is it yours too?

#truth #lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #lifetimefitness #his voice #december #minneapolis #sunday night #saint louis park #i need a miracle #grey beanie #hisvoice #2012 #he will find me #he deserves to know #we need to talk #come to light

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lightpost · 2 years

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You are so cute I wanna throw a rainbow at you

I miss you! You're voice and the way it feels on my heart, will you come back into my life and make my day? Will you be the best masterpiece of art with me? I wanna know you, I want to talk with you. Today would be the perfect day for a hike at the waterfalls..will you come with me? Do you even know where to find me? I want to tell you what happened and explain it all in more detail you deserve to know the truth and the truth will be told. Can I come home to you everyday after activities throughout the day and unwind in your arms? I'd like to know a little bit about you before I start asking and telling the bigger things of life and all I know is that I need you more than ever in this life.

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lightpost · 2 years

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I wish you were here

I really do.

And maybe I'm a fool

But I need to write before I cry How much it hurts to miss him all of my today's and all the nights All these years does he have his own family? Me over her yeah right life goes on and life taught me to okay whatever it takes for me to move on maybe he's better off never knowing maybe its better to never know. I don't know.

#lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #lifetimefitness #his voice #minneapolis #saint louis park #sunday night #2012 #hisvoice #grey beanie #i need a miracle #overcome #december #12912 #decisions

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lightpost · 2 years

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Into the storm peaceful warrior

For someone who never had a chance too someone who never took there chances.

#lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #lifetime of lessons #december #lifetimefitness #saint louis park #sunday night #minneapolis #hisvoice #2012 #grey beanie #i need a miracle #his voice #john's small #lifetime fitness folding towels on fitness floor

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lightpost · 2 years

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I love a man more than anything in the world and I can't have him

I want to give up.

#lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #lifetimefitness #saint louis park #sunday night #minneapolis #december #his voice #grey beanie #hisvoice #2012 #12912 #heartbreak #i need a miracle #i need a minute

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lightpost · 2 years

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She needs to hear your voice

She needs to hear his voice.

This is ripping her soul apart

Her whole life is up in smoke

Everyone thinks she's a joke

Her heart is broke

Today she almost choked

She needs to know happiness is real and its a no longer choice the second she hear his voice.

#lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #lifetime #lifetimefitness #his voice #december #minneapolis #sunday night #saint louis park #2012 #hisvoice #grey beanie #12912 #heartbreak #she needs to hear his voice #her choice #i need a miracle #i need a prayer #I need him

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lightpost · 2 years

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Bittersweet Dreams

I keep having dreams about you three nights in a row

its blissful and makes me just want to keep sleeping so I can see you but in the end it feels like a nightmare because you aren't here and my heart hurts because I miss you my heart is crying for you

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lightpost · 2 years

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Goddess moon and stars above

Rewind time and heal some space

let a lost love come back to me

Goddess moon and stars above let this love be a blessing

Change my ways and thinking

Send him messages I need him today

Let us find our way.

Goddess moon and stars above bring a lost love back to me.

#lost love #lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #his voice #lifetimefitness #minneapolis #december #saint louis park #2012 #grey beanie #sunday night #lifetime fitness folding towels on fitness floor #he touched me with sound #he is the one #the one #i need a miracle #i need a minute #send him back to me #please find me

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lightpost · 2 years

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I will rip this world apart from its roots to find you before time runs out. Now do you take me seriously?

I need to hear his voice! I need to know! He's the one who holds my key, he's my end game. He's my final heart he's the one who has and holds it all for me. He's the one who is truly healthy for me he's the one I seek he's the one I'm after the one I am consumed by he is the one I need he is my desire he is the reason for my fire he is the one I felt he is the one I still feel He is the one for me and I am the one for him He's the one whose voice my heart needs to feel. He's the one I want to have. The one I want to hold. He's the one

#lifetime fitness saint louis park minneapolis minnesota #take me seriously #serously #minneapolis #december #his voice #hisvoice #saint louis park #sunday night #lifetimefitness #grey beanie #lifetime fitness folding towels on fitness floor #he is the one #tall dark and handsome #2012 #12912

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lightpost · 2 years

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What pulls you back and pulls you back and back and back till the point of this isn't my dream anymore.

I want to be able to call you,

I want to be able to knock on your door

I need to keep your key and give you mine

I want to make meals with you

I want to go shopping with you

I need to know nothing come between us not even each other

I want to sit on the edge of our bed while you have breakfast

I want to Laugh with you

I want to be incredibly silly with you

and have our children with

I need to be happy I want you to be happy

I want to kiss you more than anything in this world

But once you bring me breakfast in bed you'll have to bring it forever or otherwise you'll be accused of betrayal and loveless

I want to sit in my kitchen waiting for my lover to return with lettuce tomatoes rum wine and bread

and knowing it will not last long is all the reason to enjoy it now.

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