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thiswaytwoinfinity · 8 months

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Emma’s Epic Bday Multi-Fandom Rec List: Stranger Things Edition

(yes, there will be many parts because oh my god I read waaaay too much fic)

Since it was my birthday recently (and around the 1-year anniversary of when I started actually using Tumblr again after a years-long break) I figured it was only fitting to do a giant master list of all of the amazing fanfics that I have read (and reread) in the past year.

I do my best to reblog as much as possible but sometimes with work and life I miss it so this is my attempt to make up for that and give all of the amazing creators on here the credit they deserve. Thank you all so much for sharing all of your work with us. This year has been a long and difficult one for me, especially mental health wise, and being able to escape into these stories has been so valuable and important to me.

If you read anything on here that you like, please reblog and/or comment on these fics to show the creators some love!

AN IMPORTANT NOTE: While not everything listed here will include smut, many of these authors have 18+ blogs. Please, please, please respect their boundaries and DO NOT INTERACT WITH THEM/THEIR CONTENT IF YOU ARE A MINOR.

Stories marked with ❤️‍🔥 contain NSFW content

Stranger Things:

colors (series) ❤️‍🔥by @loveshotzz — this was my introduction to ST fanfic and hooooo boy what an intro it was. what i wouldn’t give for a steamy, forbidden romance with best friend’s dad!Steve —sorry, Jenny, but he was just too hot to resist — it’s hot and emotional and basically the stuff that fantasies are made of. loveshotzzz is also the creator of the Foxy Lounge series, featuring flirty bartender Eddie and bad-at-fighting bouncer Steve which is also *chef’s kiss*

Time to giddy up, yeah? ❤️‍🔥by @loveshotzz — two words: pornstache Steve. Two more words: mustache ride. Two more? You’re welcome.

As You Wish (series) ❤️‍🔥 by @corroded-hellfire — my all time favorite Eddie series! Ryan and Luke are the most adorable, hilarious kids (i loved their little “scheme” to set their dad up with their babysitter) and the little family that Eddie and his sons form with the reader has just been so delightful to read. (also, for the record, it’s on sight with brittany)

put me through it, baby ❤️‍🔥 by @agentmarvel — PINING EDDIE MY BELOVED! Ugh I loved the slow building of the friendship between Eddie and reader, the angst of him knowing that her boyfriend was trash but not wanting to cross a line, the passion between them. As i wrote when i reblogged it, “Screaming, crying, laughing, smiling, CRYING 😍🥹😭🥵 “

take me higher ❤️‍🔥 by @munson-blurbs — i will never get enough Argyle stories, and bug has written some of my favorites. this is one i reread all the time (i’m clearly a sucker for a good babysitter fic) because i love the way Argyle feels so real in it. The flirtation, the banter, those sweet little moments of awkwardness, it’s all truly 10/10. A special runner-up mention goes to this blurb which features best friend! Argyle and hair pulling and is just … just a dream.

bad idea ❤️‍🔥 by @abibliophobiaa — if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a million times: Steve Harrington is a menace. Best friend!Steve gets his hands on the romance novel you’re reading and decides to tease you with all of the flirty things he picked up from it. Steve is at peak menace in this, which means i fell hard and fast.

this is gonna sting by @lovebugism — this one was written so, so beautifully. Sweet, lovestruck Eddie afraid to open up and confess his feelings always hits me hard and the imagery in this was just so stunning that i think about it a lot. I aspire to write a sentence as beautiful as “he leaks a bright red truth right across from you and carries everything he feels about you in raging scarlet scrapes.”

Steve Harrington Boat Smut ❤️‍🔥 by @lovebugism — God, what a glorious day it was when those pictures of Joe Keery on a boat in Italy made their way online. Anyway, this is exactly what is says on the tin and exactly what we all needed in that moment.

This story by @pouringmyheartoutforpaper — sweet, sweet lovesick Stevie who is determined that things will be different in this relationship meets reader who has some insecurities about how slow their relationship is progressing. Gorgeous, sweet, fluff that will give you the warm fuzzies.

The Tune-Up ❤️‍🔥 by @roanniom — Issa, queen of smut! This mechanic Eddie story is so hot that it will have you contemplating whether or not you should mess with a few things on your car, just for an excuse to come visit him in the shop. (Also just read all of her stuff. It’s so, so good.)

Happy Mother’s Day, Steve Harrington ❤️‍🔥 by @roanniom — STEVE. HARRINGTON. BREEDING. KINK. WILL MAKE BRAIN GO BRRRRRRR. I rest my case.

The Riddles Three ❤️‍🔥by @blueywrites — You cannot convince me that Eddie “Dungeon Master” “Lord of the Rings nerd” Munson would not try and do a Gollum impression in bed. As a firm believer in goofy, weird bedroom antics, this story is canon and I will hear nothing else about it.

Smoke and Cherry Pop Rocks ❤️‍🔥 by @somnambulic-thing — want to have your heart broken in the best way possible? HERE YOU GO. A gorgeous, tender, emotional story about regrets and moving on and finding the courage to open up, even if it’s a little too late.

Classified ❤️‍🔥by @pullhisteeth — considering the slightly absurd premise — putting an ad in the paper to lose your virginity — this was gorgeously grounded and real. Eddie is so lovely and gentle in this and it was just a treat to read.

monster under the bed ❤️‍🔥by @eddiemunsons-missingnipple — i’m going to be honest: this is monsterfucking. But if that’s something you’re into, you *need* to read this. It will make you go feral.

River Monster! Eddie ❤️‍🔥by @courtingchaos — brb, wandering along the banks of all the rivers near me in an attempt to lure River Monster!Eddie to come out and mate with me. Again, it is monsterfucking, but … come on. It’s so good. (Meg also has some of the best Gator Tillman fics out there. They’re hot and weird and wild in all of the best ways.

My Goyle Fiend ❤️‍🔥by @bettyfrommars — You want monsters? You go to Betty. Trust me on this. Her gargoyle series was the first that I read from her and I was hooked instantly. She’s written werewolves, vampires and is currently working on a brilliant series where Eddie works at the Nightmare Factory and appears in your dreams as all kinds of different ghosts and ghouls. If things that go bump in the night aren’t your taste, her biker! Eddie and Steve series are also great, as well as her beautiful gigalo!Eddie story.

I Can See You ❤️‍🔥by @fairyysoup — I don’t know that there are enough words to express how much I loved this story, The not-so-unrequited affection, the building tension, the way Steve and the reader keep coming together over the years, Steve’s big grand gesture at the end … just so beautiful and moving and steamy. I’ve already reread it like 4 times.

Stranger Things Adjacent a.k.a. Joseph Quinn characters

The Hat Shop Girl (Ralph from Timewasters) ❤️‍🔥by @rehfan — Y’all this story is *so* good. It packs so much into this love story — issues of class, grief, sexuality, power dynamics — in a way that just makes their journey so much richer and more interesting. This version of Ralph is perfect, soft and sweet and well-meaning but also the way his confidence builds throughout the story is delightful and the smut between them is so delicious and delightful. 10/10.

Knight in Shining Armor (Billy Knight) ❤️‍🔥by @rehfan — I’m gonna say it: This is my favorite Billy Knight fanfic of all time. So soft and tender, it handles Billy’s mental health in a way that feels really empathetic and realistic while also letting the audience indulge in the thing everyone really wants: to give sweet Billy all the love in the world.

This Billy Knight Masterlist ❤️‍🔥by @pollenallergie — I could not pick just one of these amazing Billy fics. pollenallergie is, in my mind, *the* authority on all things Billy Knight and she’s got it all. Her writing is soft and steamy and touching all at the same time and I love it all.

Worth It (Ralph from Timewasters) by @wheels-of-despair — Do you want to feel *all* of the delightful warm fuzzies as you daydream about the perfect life with sweet Ralph? This is the story for you. Every chapter is delightful and touching and will make you feel *all* of the feelings. I love it so much.

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bippot · 1 year

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Summary: Billy's on the mend. It's a process with a lot of ups and downs, but his friend is more than willing to help him out. Whether it's comforting him after therapy or picking out new clothes, the pair are always together and trying their best to build up his psyche and teach him what it feels like to be loved.

Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Caretaking, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut

Song Recommendation: As Long As You Care by Ruel

Full Masterlist - here

After Billy's mental health improved enough that he was allowed home, his childhood friend Y/N 'forced' him to move in with her as her roomate had just moved out and she knew, for a fact, that her presence would encourage him to take care of himself.

And, if he was ever in a position where he couldn't take care of himself, she could and would do it for him. She wanted him back in her life more than anything, and after the traumatic events that had happened, he needed those who would be patient and kind around him. His family definitely wouldn't provide that, so she made it her mission to do so.

Plus, since she worked from home, she was always there for whatever he needed. Panic attack? He'd knock on her door and sit on her bed as she calmed him down. Meds? She set multiple alarms and reminded him whenever they went off. Nightmares? They'd watch an episode or two of Bob's Burgers with his head in her lap until he fell back asleep.

One night as he was looking up at her, his eyes all big and dreamy, she brushed her hand through his newly washed hair gently and began smiling when he didn't flinch away from the contact. He seemed completely at ease, which was rare, so she continued her task before speaking softly, "You look so nice with your hair like this, Bill."

"I do?"

He averted his gaze shyly, fidgeting lightly with one of the curls hanging out in front of his eye. It was a bit messy and she smiled, reaching out to fix it, tucking the loose strands behind his ear. His face turned slightly pink and he looked up at her again, his expression softening, but not fully trusting yet.

"You do," she said simply.

It wasn't much, but it was one of the nicest words anyone had said to him in a while. He felt warm inside at her kindness and that sensation would pop up again and again and again since she continued to compliment and praise him at every given chance she got.

Before, she was focused on helping him stay healthy and now he'd reached somewhat of a normal state, his mind no longer racing with anxiety and fear 24/7, she was planning on building his confidence. Which was something that he'd never really had before so she had to build it from the bottom up; step by step. She assumed, based on everything else about him, that the kind words needed to start slow. Coming out of the gate with "You're literally the most handsome man I've ever met" was doomed to make him uncomfortable, so she started small and simple.

At first she started with things he could change. Hair. Clothes. Shoes. Accessories. Compliments that would reinforce his choices instead of hinder them. She needed to make sure he was comfortable with what he liked and didn't like before she moved onto aspects that he couldn't alter, just in case she pointed out something that he permanently didn't like and caused him to spiral into a spout of self hate. He didn't need that.

For a bit of fun, they went out clothes shopping for him. It had been so long since he went out to buy things for himself and it felt foreign to him, but she encouraged him to keep going. There were times he almost panicked, but then she took his hand and squeezed gently, reminding him that she was there to help him through. If nothing else, he thought he could use a little guidance, and she was willing to give it to him.

They found him a few good pairs of jeans, some t-shirts that fit well, a jacket and some jumpers that didn't activate his stims. Some fabrics were repulsive to his touch and he couldn't even think about putting them anywhere near his body without feeling nauseous.

Overall, she was proud of him for being able to make decisions about such things for himself. It was a big step. It was as if he finally had control over one aspect of his life - how he dressed. It was simple, but it gave him hope. So they continued, slowly, to build him up, until it became apparent that he actually enjoyed doing things for himself and not just to try and please others or satisfy their needs, but to satisfy his own.

"Oh Bill, that shirt is definitely a keeper," she cooed when he showed her another new possible purchase. She ran her fingers over his shoulder affectionately, brushing her thumb against the material and making a soft noise as she admired his appearance. He stood awkwardly in place, unsure of what to say or do. He liked her support and attention - he really, really did - but he still had no clue how to react. She let out a quiet laugh and pulled away from him as soon as she noticed how bashful he seemed.

"Sorry, sorry," she apologised, shaking her head and smiling to herself as she glanced at the clock, "How about we go pay for this then grab a quick lunch before we get to your appointment? Sound like a plan?"

"Sounds good."

Recently, his therapy sessions had lessened in frequency. It had gone from daily house visits to every other day and now it was every three days at his therapist's office, which was proof that even his doctors thought he was getting better. Although, a few hours after each session he still would be a little tender around the edges and in need of support, especially if they had spoken in depth about some of the more traumatic parts of his life.

It wasn't unexpected that he'd need a few minutes to calm down as soon as they reached the privacy of her car. Once he was seated in the passenger seat, he buried his face in the fabric of her shoulder and inhaled deeply, trying to steady his staggering breathing and slow his frantic heartbeat. His hands trembled uncontrollably as they grasped tightly at her blouse, wanting, needing something to ground himself - anything.

She rubbed soothing circles on his back, whispering sweet words of comfort in his ear. He tried desperately to focus on the warmth surrounding him rather than the images flashing through his mind. He concentrated on the sound of her gentle voice and her touches, allowing her familiarity and comfort to wash over him once again. The scent of her coconut shampoo mixed with her fruity perfume helped calm his raging emotions.

"Take deep breaths, okay? Take deep breaths..." she murmured, letting her lips brush against the top of his head. He tried to ignore the thoughts in his mind which kept telling him that she wasn't real, that it was all a trick, that someone was pretending to be her. He had to push those thoughts from his mind to keep him grounded. This was real and he didn't want to lose himself any further in his paranoia.

Gradually, his heart rate decreased. The shaking in his hands stopped. The tremors subsided. The memories faded. Slowly, ever so slowly, his breathing evened itself out and he lifted his head to peer up at her. "I'm okay, don't worry. Everything is alright, I promise."

"I'm proud of you. So proud of you, sweetheart," she whispered, leaning forward and pressing a tender kiss to his temple, leaving a red lipstick mark on his pale skin and immediately went to wipe it away for him with a chuckle of "Oh shit." Her lipstick smudged his skin as she wiped it away, but it wasn't the end of the world, and in fact, he loved it.

And over the next few weeks, every time she'd leave the house, she'd give him a quick peck on the cheek and forget that she always wore that same lipstick.

"It's okay, I'll get it off," Billy would reassure, giving her a slight smile which she returned instantly. Yet while she was gone, he didn't wipe away the mark.

No, he liked looking and staring at it like it was some sort of magic spell. It meant that she was real and that she cared for him even when she wasn't physically there to prove it. He'd stand in the bathroom, lightly trailing his finger along the mark as he inspected it for the thousandth time, a grin forming across his features and his heart swelling with an emotion he couldn't quite describe.

Every time he saw her smiling softly, or laughed, or just looked happy, that's all he could feel. Happiness filled his whole entire being and he couldn't wait to see her smile again. To hear her voice. Her laugh. Her smell. Everything was perfect when she was around and, although it was difficult for him, he managed to live a life that felt peaceful.

As soon as he'd hear her returning, he'd hurry to clean the mark away and walk back into the living room and smile at her like nothing had happened, greeting her as she came in with a bright hello and an equally bright smile.

Until one day when she was going out to meet her friend in a nearby coffee shop and, after reminding him a thousand times that if anything happened - and she meant anything at all, no matter how small and insignificant he thought it was - and he needed comforting that she'd be there as soon as she could then she gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek like normal.

What wasn't normal was the fact she hadn't left a print behind. And that was a fact that didn't sit right with him because, like, what if as soon as she went through the door, she never came back and he hadn't got that physical sign that she'd once cared for him pressed upon his skin. What then, huh?

Billy retracted his finger and there was no lipstick there. He looked from his digit to her with a confused expression. She was clearly wearing lipstick, but there was no trace of anything on his cheek. Where was the evidence of her lipstick's existence? He stared at his fingertips for a few seconds longer and then looked up and made eye contact with her.

"Oh, I bought a more expensive one so it doesn't transfer anymore and you don't have to rub it away all the time," she explained, pulling it out of her purse and showing him the new tube.

In a flash, he snatched the lipstick from her hand and threw it to the other side of the room where it hit the wall with a loud thump. Oh shit, as soon as he realised what he'd done, he was apologising, "I'm sorry, don't know what came over me. Really don't want to cause you trouble...I swear I will never touch it ever again. Please don't hate me, I am really sorry."

"Bill, look at me," she told him quietly, tilting his chin up with her fingers and gently forcing him to stop apologising. When he did so, she smiled gently and brushed his hair back away from his forehead, "I'm not mad at you, a little surprised I'll admit, but nothing you could do would make me hate you."

"I...I broke something, didn't I? That's bad," he asked hesitantly, worriedly glancing towards the discarded lipstick on the floor. She went over and picked it up. It was cracked but still in one piece, so she placed it on the table beside the couch before sitting down beside him again.

"No, no, it's not broken." She reassured him with a kind smile, reaching out and squeezing his hand. "Got any idea about why you don't like it?"

Of course he knew.

"I...um...maybe I liked your other one more?" He offered timidly, his cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment as he went to swipe at his nose. She raised her eyebrows inquisitively and he couldn't hold it back any longer. "I like when your kiss stays. It's like, uh, like you're with me when you're not...with me."

"You...like my kisses?" She repeated, looking at him curiously.

"Um, yes...yes. I like them very much," he said, lowering his eyes quickly, hoping she wouldn't see the blush creeping on his cheeks. He didn't think he would be able to handle spewing a full blown love confession today simply because he didn't think his slowly building confidence could take the blow.

It wasn't easy keeping his heart under control whenever she smiled at him like that, when she touched him like that. He would have been lying if he claimed that it didn't bother him when she kissed him on the cheek, or when her hands were on his face, or when he'd find himself lost in her gaze. He wished desperately that he didn't love her so much.

But that was a stupid wish. A life without her love had been so bleak.

"That's good, cause I like giving them to you," she answered honestly, smiling fondly at him before leaning forward to rest her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and leaned into the embrace of her soft caresses.

There was such a thing as a blissful numbness that sometimes seemed almost impossible to describe. But for Billy, it existed. He'd never experienced anything remotely close to this feeling before; it was so overwhelming but in the best way possible, and he wanted to stay immersed within it forever.

Yet, she moved away quicker than he wished and disappeared into her room for a second before coming back, applying her old lipstick to her lips. As soon as she reached him, she gave him another kiss on the cheek and, lo and behold, a red kiss mark was left behind.

"There we go!"

Once he'd touched it and confirmed that, yes, there was both lipstick on his cheek and his finger, his face lit up like an inferno.

"Better?"

"So much. Thankyousomuch," he replied with a grateful grin that reached his eyes and made her beam. "You're going to be late. Go, go, I'll be fine."

And he was fine.

Mostly fine.

Nights were still a problem at times. Nights when it hurt like hell and tears rolled down his face without fail. Nights when he cried silently, holding onto those precious memories tightly as though they'd become a lifeline. Nights were he had to seek out her comfort or else he'd go insane. He had grown accustomed to the feeling of her arms wrapped around him and her soothing words whispering in his ear as she held him, rocking him back and forth until his cries subsided.

When the nights got colder, instead of retreating to the couch to sleep, she invited him into her bed without a single word. He hesitated getting under her duvet, but as soon as she opened her arms wide, the need was too much and he had to give in. It was perfect, really, to fall asleep to the sound of her heartbeat beneath his ear and feel the warmth emitting from her body. His head fit perfectly into the crook of her neck and, after resting it for only a minute or two, his breathing began to even out.

"Sorry, know this must be weird for you, must be weird to have to deal with me all the time," he mumbled quietly, moving to look up at her. He could've sworn she tensed up slightly, but she smiled anyway.

"Nothing's weird about having you here with me," she said before turning to wrap her arms tighter around him. "Why would it be weird, sweetheart?"

"Well, I dunno...just thought that maybe I'm being annoying. You know, bothering you or whatever..." he trailed off unsurely, avoiding eye contact with her.

Softly, he felt a warm hand on his jaw, lifting it so he was forced to look at her. He saw her smiling softly at him and, just like always, he was completely mesmerised by her eyes and the way they sparkled, the way they were filled with affection and adoration, the way they showed him so much kindness and warmth that it felt like he'd never seen anything like that before, and he was rendered speechless.

"Billy, I like being around you," she whispered quietly, moving her fingers from the side of his face to his cheekbone. "I don't mind being around you. Never, in my entire life, have I minded spending time with someone so wonderful."

An audible whimper came from him because of her words, and he buried his face deeper into her neck. There was such a feeling inside him that he wanted to cry. He didn't deserve her love, she deserved to love someone so much better. Someone with better genes, nicer teeth and hair, more handsome features, someone who didn't have such dark circles under their eyes every night, someone who wasn't an absolute mess in general.

Someone stable. Someone able to take care of her.

The hand stroking through his hair stopped so she could scratch his scalp, and he could not help but purr at the feeling. Why was she so kind to him? Wasn't he a burden to her? Why did she put up with him?

So, he asked. In a tiny, little voice, he said, "Do you pity me? Is that why you take care of me?"

There was silence between them and she seemed to be thinking deeply about it. Then, softly, she whispered back. "I take care of you because I love you. Because I love everything about you, and it scares me to think of all the times where I almost lost you."

She said it so simply, it left him stunned. So simply yet so passionately...so beautifully sincere.

"Oh," was all he managed to say.

Then his mouth decided to dismiss her.

"You don't mean that. You don't, you can't love me, you don't..." He stammered weakly, pulling his face out of hers again so she could see how upset he was becoming. His expression looked absolutely devastated. "I'm awful, I'm ugly, I-"

Before he even got a chance to finish talking and get ready for when she inevitably rejected him, he was cut off by her lips against his own. She kissed him gently and tenderly, and despite how much he tried to convince himself that he wasn't worthy enough to kiss back, he couldn't resist melting into her touch. He moaned softly against her lips when she pulled her head back slightly, pressing one last fleeting kiss to his forehead.

"You're beautiful and kind and loving and nothing can ever change that." Her voice was barely above a whisper, a mere breath that left her lips but he heard it. "And you are the most important thing in my life."

With his eyes shut, he took a deep breath as he listened to her, trying hard to believe it. He wanted to believe it so badly, and nothing she'd ever done had ever would ever point to her lying to him, but this was too good to be true. This was too sweet for anyone, let alone him.

He slowly opened his eyes, wanting to make sure what he was seeing was real, and he saw her smiling at him brightly, her face filled with joy, as she placed the palm of her hand against his cheek.

It was real.

For once, it was real, it was actually happening. The feeling spreading inside of him was so incredible, he almost forgot to breathe. All those years, all the pain and the misery that he'd gone through, it all suddenly vanished from his mind for a moment. Everything around him faded into insignificance as he gazed into her brilliant eyes with pure joy, happiness radiating from every pore on his body.

"Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou..." he repeated, burying his face into the curve of her neck as a lump formed in his throat. If he had tears left to shed, he probably would've started crying right now. Instead, he pressed a light kiss to the shoulder with a smile.

Just a small, sincere smile, as honest as he could manage, and that was all she needed to know to understand that he truly meant it.

"Go to sleep, my love."

"Don't know if I can, I'm on bloody cloud nine."

Both of them let out a giggle. Billy decided at that moment that tonight he didn't want her to hug him, he wanted to switch it around. He wanted to be the one hugging her, so he lay flat against his back and pulled her onto his chest. Instinctively, she snuggled further up against him, resting her head against his chest while letting him hold her close.

She sighed contently when he ran his hand over her arm lightly, tracing lines and shapes on her skin as he stared up into the darkness above until the movement stopped and she realised he'd fallen asleep. She smiled as she watched his peaceful face relax, his brows smoothened out, his mouth hanging open a tad, breathing in long, steady strokes that somehow seemed to calm the raging storm inside him.

In the morning, he woke up first and sat up in the bed, staring at her sleeping figure with a content sigh escaping his lips. She was still wrapped around him tightly, her legs tangled with his own, one arm resting protectively on his bare torso and the other tucked underneath her head like a pillow. Her hair fanned out around her head, the ends of it brushing past his cheeks, and he reached out to brush his fingertips across her cheek.

It felt soft, delicate under his fingertip. He brushed along her face, marvelling at the smoothness of her skin, the faint freckles on her nose, the slight crinkles by the corners of her eyes, her soft looking lips, the way her eyelashes fluttered every time she moved. He was captivated; there was no denying that he was, in fact, in love with her. He'd known it for years, but right here, right now, he could finally admit it to himself without any doubt whatsoever.

Carefully, he brought his arm up, wrapping it around her waist and pulling her on top of him, nuzzling the top of her head with the tip of his nose, inhaling sharply when she let out a content hum and tightened her grip around his body.

A wide, dopey grin spread across his lips, and his heart soared high in his chest as she cuddled even closer to him, placing gentle kisses all across the surface of his shoulder blade, making a low humming sound each time. He felt himself falling back down into that blissful state of nothingness as he leaned back against the headboard, her soft hair tickling his face.

"Morning." It was barely a whisper, muffled by his t-shirt as she mumbled her greeting. Her voice sounded tired and hoarse, but still held that same gentle tone as she spoke and he felt it tug at his heartstrings.

"Mornin, Y/N." He rubbed his hand down her back gently, smiling as she hummed again and pressed her nose into his cheek. He could get used to this.

Getting him to take his meds without him whining and making a fuss about it was impossible before that day. Now all she had to say was "One pill equals one kiss" and he would do it without question or hesitation. It was a win, win situation.

Over time, he'd get more confidence in himself and their relationship. Slowly but surely, he began to initiate touches when he wanted them. A peck on the cheek every now and then, a light squeeze of her fingers when they were holding hands, a kiss on the top of her head when she fell asleep, a hug when they were watching a movie.

Honestly, it was a start, and slowly, very slowly, he'd begin to feel secure with himself and with her. He felt comfortable being affectionate toward her and he liked it. He really liked it. And he knew she liked it too, judging by the way her smile never left her face when he held her in a tight embrace. Whenever he gave her a kiss or a hug, she practically melted against him, as though he was the sun itself shining its golden rays upon her.

There were moments when he caught her smiling like an idiot at him; when her eyes became misty and full of admiration and pride; when her voice would break as she talked about him. But he also found himself noticing how, when she talked about him, her smile didn't go away; it stayed put, bright and warm, all over her pretty little features.

"My love, my darling..." She would whisper in her usual loving tone while gazing deeply into his chocolate, glowing eyes. Those words always made butterflies erupt inside of his stomach, and just the look in her eyes when she was saying that word only drove the butterflies more wild inside of him. They were like flowers blooming, like fireworks exploding in the night sky, like waves crashing against the shore.

But the magnum opus was when she exclaimed, "Hey baby," in that lovely melodic voice of hers whenever she'd been out for a few hours and returned to him with a big grin plastered all over her face. Every single time it sent an electric shock through his veins and caused his whole body to heat up, because god damn did he want to hear her call him that more than anything else in the world.

Still, he didn't have the nerve to take anything further. Why? Why would she want to touch him like that? Would he deserve it? She already gave him so much that asking anything else of her would be far too greedy. Yet that didn't stop his body from reacting in such a way.

"I'm so sorry. Sorry, can't help it... can't help when you look that good," he mumbled under his breath before taking a deep breath as he averted his eyes and looked down at the floor. She was just coming out of the shower, her towel carefully wrapped around her body, her wet hair falling around her shoulders and covering her in droplets of water. He'd been getting himself a drink of water, caught the moment she exited the bathroom and immediately wished he hadn't worn grey sweatpants.

The tent in his pants was obvious.

Y/N dressed and made it to the living room to find Billy with a pillow on his lap, taking deep breaths as he stared at the television screen in front of him blankly. He wasn't paying attention to what was going on, his mind somewhere else completely. "You okay, baby?" she asked curiously after walking toward the back of the sofa and putting her arms around his shoulders from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder and placing feather light kisses to his cheek.

"I...Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm...I'm good."

Now he hadn't sounded like he usually did when some bad thought had appeared. He sounded like he did when he accidentally knocked something over, or dropped his coffee, or whenever he left the toilet seat up. Guilty, but not over anything serious, so she teased, "Wanna try again and sound more convincing this time?"

"Don't make me say it out loud."

Ah, the pillow made sense now.

"Oh Bill, don't be embarrassed about being turned on. Gotta ask though, what did it for you?"

"You in just a towel."

She chuckled softly. "You can see me without the towel if you ask nicely," she winked suggestively and started playing with the ends of his hair between her fingers. He gulped so loudly that he thought his throat might give in.

"You can't say things like that to me," he breathed, shaking his head furiously, hoping that maybe the mere mention of her naked body wouldn't affect him so badly. "Not fair to tease."

Her thumb rubbed circles into his neck gently, drawing patterns on his skin through the material of his shirt. "I'm not teasing, my love." She kissed his cheek, smiling as he let out a shaky exhale. "I'm happy for you to see, but only if you're happy for you to see."

Eyes huge and dopey, he stared back at her and licked his dry lips nervously, his mind suddenly unable to process thoughts coherent enough to form sentences anymore. His hands shook uncontrollably as his palms were sweaty and clammy.

"I wanna see you... if that's okay?... Please?"

Never had she been asked to take her clothes off in such a polite way.

"Of course, baby."

As soon as he answered, she walked around the couch and sat beside him, scooting closer until their thighs were touching. Carefully, she took his hand and placed it at the hem of her shirt, sliding the fabric upwards until it bunched up at his wrist. "Can I?" he asked shyly, staring at what he could see of her skin in awe, almost hypnotised by the soft curves and smooth skin stretched out in front of him, which only increased when she nodded and allowed him to take her shirt and bra off.

All he could do was stare, mesmerised, at her beautiful body, her soft curves that he craved to touch and kiss so desperately. It was written all over his face how affected he was by it; his pupils blown, his breathing heavy, and a very cute blush across his cheeks.

Once again, she took his hands in hers and slid them up her abdomen. There was no rush, no hurry, no need, so she moved them languidly up towards her breasts, cupping them and massaging them softly. His face was flushed red by this point, his eyes glued to her skin, drinking in every inch of her like it was his last meal.

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." he whispered as he felt each peak and dip of the soft flesh beneath his fingers, his gaze unwavering from their position. "Can't believe you are letting me do this."

Just when she thought he was leaning in for a smooch, he lowered his lips to her chest instead, leaving soft kisses all over her bare breasts, and she couldn't hold back her gasp of surprise. A low whine escaped her throat and his ears perked up immediately, his head rising so he could figure out whether that was a noise of discomfort or excitement.

"Should've asked. Sorry, so sorry," he quickly said in a hushed tone, pulling his face away and apologising profusely again.

"Bill, it's okay. I enjoyed it. In fact, I'd be happy if you want to continue."

He smiled, and then proceeded to place his lips against her skin once more, moving his mouth in slow and steady strokes, sucking and licking and kissing every part of her exposed skin as if he'd never get the chance again. Her body arched involuntarily at the feeling, the soft moans and groans escaping her mouth as she tried to keep her balance, but eventually gave up and giggled as her back hit the couch cushions.

Looking up at him from beneath hooded eyelids, she cradled his jaw in her delicate hands, watching his eyes slowly searching to meet hers, and when they did, it was only seconds later, before his lips found themselves pressed onto hers once more, and she couldn't even care less. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, pulling him closer to her body as she tangled her leg with his own, pressing their bodies even closer together; making sure they were touching all over as much as possible, to show him how much he meant to her.

"Sweetheart, if you ever want to stop, we'll stop, okay? If you feel bad in any way, just tell me and we'll stop. No worries. No pressure. Okay" she murmured, breaking their smooch short, her voice filled with tenderness and concern.

"What if I don't wanna stop?"

"Then we won't."

"What if you want to stop?"

"I don't want to stop."

"Oh."

Billy was dumbfounded. She wanted to go further with him? That was surprising news to him. Good news. But still, despite the fact she was topless below him, it was not what he was expecting to happen. Sure, he wanted this, needed this, but he also didn't expect Y/N to actually give him permission for it to happen.

"Gonna apologise in advance cause I don't want you to hate me when this is bad."

Honestly, he might as well have reverted back to virgin status as it had been far too long since he'd been intimate with someone.

"Could never hate you, baby. Could never do that."

"What if the sex is bad?" he asked seriously, his finger playing with the waistband of her shorts, tracing patterns along it absentmindedly. She couldn't blame him for being nervous, especially considering how long it had been.

"If it's bad, we can learn to get better at it. Learn what each other likes over time, you know?" Conjoining their hands, she brought his knuckles to her lips, planting a kiss on it before she continued, "I don't think it will be bad, though. As long as you're having fun, I'm having fun."

With a sigh of relief, he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her warm breath fanning over his lips. "Thank god," he muttered, earning a laugh from his girlfriend.

Straddling her waist, he leant back and pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Y/N hovered her hands a couple of inches away from his chest and only touched him once he'd given her a nod to do so. Her fingers danced lovingly over his muscles and all across his scarred skin as he let out small pleasurable grunts throughout the whole ordeal.

"You're beautiful, Billy. Don't ever forget that."

The blush spread further from his neck to the tips of his ears, and he bit his lip hard to stop himself from letting out another one of those embarrassing noises, but he wasn't successful at keeping them down when her hand caressed his painfully hard cock through his pj's and he whimpered at the contact.

"Feel good? Or do you want me to stop?"

Frantically, he shook his head, trying to communicate with her that he wanted everything that she was going to give him, anything. "Don't stop," he managed to whisper in between his gasps and whines of pleasure. His eyes fell shut, his body tensing up as she slid into his underwear and circled her middle finger lightly around his base. "Please."

The way he held his breath, begging silently for her to give him more, to please, made her heart swell in pure joy because she wanted to take care of him in every single way. To make him feel loved, cherished, and satisfied. The sound of his panting, of his desperate gasps of breaths as she stroked his cock was music to her ears.

"Wanna feel you too...can't come yet...need a minute..." he stuttered and she slowed down to give him some time, allowing him to compose himself as he tried to speak. "Can I touch you now? Can I please touch you? Need to make you feel good too..."

She nodded wordlessly, wanting him to have whatever he desired and it was a bonus that she seemed to desire the same thing. The low ache in her stomach had been itching for a while now anyway, and the pain was starting to become unbearable. So, she nudged him to give her some space to remove the remainder of her clothes, and once he was ready, guided his hand to her clit.

"Do you feel how wet I am for you? How good you're doing already?" she purred as he licked his lower lip, eyes flickering from her body to her face and back, the hunger within them growing stronger by every moment.

"Because of me?" he asked, a small smirk forming on his lips as his thumb brushed over her swollen bud. She bit her bottom lip at the sensation, unable to keep herself from moaning.

"God yes Bill, because of you."

As soon as he started moving inside her, she let out a sharp gasp and grabbed onto his bicep, holding him there. He didn't mind one bit. It made him feel good and strong, like he could protect her from almost anything and everything if he just focused enough. Every touch, every moan and every thrust sent shivers of pleasure down his spine and made him feel powerful, dominant, and so damn alive.

Her legs began to shake and tremble, her nails digging into his arm unconsciously, biting her bottom lip, squeezing him tighter, and finally, her head fell back onto the cushion, and her mouth opened wide, letting out loud moans and whimpers, urging him on, loving it. She could see the smile on his lips as he watched her reactions, could hear his ragged breathing, feel the tightness of his grip on her hips, and smell the sweet aroma of lust coming off him.

And oh, how badly she wanted more. More of him, his warmth, his strength, his scent, the taste of him.

"Fuck me baby," she begged, grabbing his wrist to stop him from continuing. "Do you want to? Do you need me?"

"Yes. Please, I want you so, so much." He stood to quickly completely undress, tossing his pants and boxers somewhere else without a second thought and climbing back into her lap, straddling her legs as soon as he settled comfortably. "So bloody much. I've been thinking about this for so long."

Smiling widely at him, she grabbed his thighs, gently running her fingertips up his legs as he lined himself up against her entrance. "Take it slow, okay? Get comfortable first."

"Okay" he breathed heavily, reaching forward to grab her hips and carefully pulled her onto him, bit by bit. "Oh, Y/N. God." He buried his face into her shoulder, closing his eyes and releasing shaky breaths to try and calm down.

Soothingly, she kissed his temple, rubbing circles into the tense spot between his shoulders to try and relax him a little, and she felt him squeeze his eyes tighter shut with the effort as he moved against her slightly, pushing him deeper and deeper into her. She hummed lowly at the feeling of him filling her completely, her hands sliding down to hold both of his cheeks as she brought their faces together.

"Are you okay? Do you want to stop -"

"Nope, just trying not to come." He awkwardly chuckled against her shoulder, causing her to giggle. "Love you and want you to have a good time too."

Lifting her chin so they could meet gazes, she grinned playfully at him. "I am having a wonderful time." She gave him a soft peck before returning her gaze back to his. "And, I love the view." She winked at him, eliciting more chuckles out of him which caused her to grin even wider.

He began to move in and out slowly, causing a few small grunts and groans to escape his throat as he did. She wrapped her arms around his upper body, her hands trailing up and down his back to help him stay steady and in control as his movements grew quicker and faster.

With each thrust, Y/N squeezed him tightly, her nails digging into his skin. Her mouth opened instinctively, her eyes fluttering close as her moans turned louder and louder, drowning out all other noise. She wanted this so desperately, needed this desperately. Her nails dug deeper into his back every second that passed, pulling a grunt from Billy that she found absolutely adorable.

"I'm doing good?" he asked anxiously, a look of wonder written all over his face as he stared at her through half closed eyelids.

"So good," she responded with a happy moan, her head thrown back as her body tightened around him. "So good, I can't-" A sharp intake of breath escaped her lips as her orgasm hit her full force and he grunted loudly along with her, burying his face deeper in the crook of her neck to muffle his cries as he filled her completely.

After what had felt like an eternity, he pulled back, his heavy breathes echoing around the room as he looked at her with adoration in his eyes, which were glazed over with lust and pleasure. Lips parting in awe, Y/N gazed at him, still trembling a little in place and unable to hide the huge grin on her lips.

"Wow. You..." he spoke softly, placing his hand under her chin to lift her face upward and bring his lips to hers for a kiss that made her knees weak. "I love you." His voice was breathless with his passion, making her heart skip a beat at the simple words she craved the most.

Even though she knew he did, he hadn't said it before.

"I love you too."

Another smile played at the corner of her lips as she brought her fingers through his messy curls, relishing in the way he leaned into the touch. With her free hand, she took hold of his waist to pull him down to settle next on top of her. His arms immediately wound themselves around her torso, pulling her closer, pressing kisses to every inch of exposed skin that was revealed to him and leaving tiny trails of fire wherever his lips touched.

"God, I love touching you," he muttered, licking away a trail of his drool from her shoulder. "You're so good to me."

"Just giving you what you deserve."

And maybe, just maybe, for the first time he wasn't complaining about being given what he deserved. After everything, after all those years of loneliness, of disappointment, of rejection, of constant fear, of everything he had gone through, maybe he did deserve love.

Maybe he deserved happiness and someone to show him all those beautiful parts of life that he had always been deprived of. He deserved love. Love, care, affection, compassion. And he had it. Y/N had given him a taste and he wasn't ever going to give it up.

By Y/N's side, he was never ever going to be alone again.

#billy knight #lethal white #joe quinn #cormoran strike #Youtube

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