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ciggylungz · 4 years

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Rivals. c2

Rivals: chapter 2

3.2k words

Summary: Y/n and Harry are both CEO’s of their parent’s companies since they inherited the businesses from them, they’ve been rivals since they were kids- now that they’re professional adults how will their rivalry affect them?

When Friday rolled around Y/n was excited, she’d had a grueling week and been working 18 hours a day for the past 6 days so she was more than thrilled to have a break. Friday’s were usually pretty tame in the office, but just her luck that day a new product design was dumped on her desk and she was tasked with going through the mountains of papers filled with advertisement ideas, promotion pictures and commercial ideas for the new line of clothes and perfumes coming out for the winter season since they were a few weeks away from December. Due to the time crunch she couldn’t really afford to push it off, so she sat at her desk and reviewed everything well past her normal hours.

It was around 7 in the evening when she pulled out the bottle of tequila she kept in her desk for late nights like this, grabbing some ice from the office kitchen and a tonic water from her own mini fridge stashed in the closet in her office. She kept the lighting low, her eyes already feeling the strain of the fluorescent bulbs and fine print papers after hours of reading and she’d like to save the headache for the next morning if possible.

She was a tad bit startled when a knock sounded at her office door, she glanced to the clock seeing it was nearing 10 at night and she knew her assistant left at 8 so she was a surprised by the interruption. Of course, he had to be the one knocking. Even through her mild intoxication she could tell that curly mop of hair as him, his face joining his locks a second later as he waltzes into her office. His lips were tugged in a small smile, hands holding a binder with a plastic bag cradled in his left one.

“Ah! Getting a bit wild in the office tonight? Tequila, you naughty girl!” he gave her a fake disapproving look companied with a stern finger pointing between her and the now half empty bottle. Y/n was always a bit looser after a drink, so she didn’t have her usual bitter comeback loaded she instead felt a strange shot of happiness? Relief? Fondness? She couldn’t put her finger on it. It was too foreign of a feeling to be associated with the man. The woman didn’t understand why she didn’t feel the sense of loathing tugging at her when he spoke, instead she let out a small laugh before flipping him off.

Harry was surprised yet pleased at her reaction. He always loved tipsy y/n, the booze seemed to soften her overly serious nature and make her a bit sweeter. They had some of their best moments together after they had a good buzz going, they’d even had a few instances of cuddling during their alcohol induced haze. He remembers those times fondly; he thinks back on them at times when they’re arguing or in the middle of a grudge holding session. Harry knew she’d never admit it, but deep down behind all her walls she really was a loving, sweet girl. She always had been yet her pride and fear of vulnerability would never let her admit it.

“Hello Harry, any reason you’ve broken into my place of work?” she tipped the glass back to her lips, taking another sip of her cocktail as she waited for his response. She watched him set his things down, shrugging his suit jacket off before rolling his sleeves to his elbows. “Saw you through the window, was workin’ late myself. Thought misery needed a bit of company, and knowing you I knew you’d probably need a designated driver for the night miss tequila.” He lifted his eyebrows in a slight teasing manner, a smile growing on her lips as she giggled quietly, raising her hands in surrender. “bad habits die hard, huh?” she retorted, the smile didn’t drop from her features and Harry loved it. She always had such a beautiful smile. Her plushy lips molded into the shape, her braces did their job giving her a perfect even smile. She had a genuine smile on, he could tell by the way it met her eyes that seemed to brighten when she was in a good mood. She was beautiful. He truly didn’t understand why she had always been so self-conscious. he hated when she’d talk negatively about her looks, weight, body etc. He’d always found her to be a very beautiful woman, and her strong personality amplified that even further.

“That they do miss Y/l/n, they do indeed.” He agreed with a nod, reaching his hand into the previously noted bag pulling out some bread, followed by small slices of cheese and finally a container of grapes. They both shared a love for the particular grouping of food, often having it for snack as kids or packing it when they went on little trips with their friends. It was their thing in a sense. He might amp it up a bit to feel a special bond with her in some way, even if it’s just over a love of the same foods.

“Brought some goodies, might share with you if you’re nice to m’.” Harry made himself comfortable on the couch, toeing off his shoes to leave him in his red dress socks. He liked to have accent colors when he dressed for work, often opting for pocket squares, socks or collar pins to tie together his outfits. He had decided early on just because he was in a work environment didn’t mean he had to dress boring, he worked in fashion for Christ sake so he enjoyed a bit of complimentary accessories. Tastefulness is key though, and he knew how to pick them right.

Y/n polished off her drink, reaching to pour herself another mixing it with a coffee straw she snagged from the kitchen during her original venture out. the woman shrugged slightly, taking a sip with a little smack of her lips at the strongness. She went a bit heavy on the tequila this time around.

“Eh, I’m on a diet anyway.” Her response amused Harry, chuckling lightly before popping a grape into his mouth. He always appreciated someone with a quick wit, and Y/n checked that box for him. He was starting to realize she checked most of his boxes regarding things he found attractive…and he wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

It was nearing midnight when Y/n started to show signs she was fully drunk. Her head bobbed slightly, body lightly swaying and Harry saw her eyes flutter every so often. He could read her like a book, he knew she was stressed, tired and wasted just from a single glance. The man found it quite cute, she looked so soft and cute when she was in this state. She radiated that type of energy that made you want to hug her; she wasn’t as guarded and flighty. She looked utterly trashed but relaxed and he didn’t mind the drunkenness if it meant she wasn’t as worked up as usual. She worked hard; the woman deserved to let loose once in a while.

“Hey, think it’s time to head out hmm?” Harry slowly sat up as he spoke, stretching with a few quiet pops of his joints. Y/n lifted her head slightly, giving him doe eyes and a pouty lip. “but I have work to do…” a hiccup sounded after she spoke, making her body jolt slightly. “It’ll be there on Monday, it’s late and you’re wasted love. C’mon time to go, hey don’t get all misty eyed on me it’s okay. Swear it’s alright, everything will get done.”

Harry frowned mid-way through his sentence seeing her eyes gloss with tears. She could be quite an emotional drunk, she bottled up her feelings 24/7 so in any sort of weakened state she began to crack. Harry had seen it only twice in the thirteen years of knowing her. The first time they were 15, she’d just broken up with her boyfriend at the time who was a total douche and he’d spent the six months the pair were together practically bullying the girl and mainly spending the time they had together fucking her. she had gotten absurdly drunk and walked to Harry’s home, sobbing and shaking only to spend the rest of the night cuddled into his chest. it was a toxic relationship and Harry always hated that guy; he gave the boy a few swift kicks to the ribs a few days after the incident. The second was during spring break, the pair were freshly 20 and someone had groped her at the club. Y/n had a panic attack on the bathroom floor and Harry sat with her the whole time, even though the filthy floor was sticky with booze and god knows what else he didn’t even think of leaving her behind.

Y/n took in a deep breath nodding her head slightly, letting Harry put the bottle back in it’s hiding spot and organize her papers before getting himself situated and heading to the car. With some episodes of tripping over her own feet and dizziness he’d managed to get her into the passenger seat, buckling her and joining her in the vehicle.

“Y/n no, you can’t smash the window! Where are your house keys? Put the rock down”

Bargaining with someone who’s intoxicated was never easy, but he was worried about the woman chucking a random stone through her first-floor window instead of just unlocking the door. Drunk minds aren’t the soundest he supposed seeing as he was prying a rouge rock from y/ns hand.

Eventually the keys were located and used to forge entry into her modest town house. Unlike her parent’s y/n wasn’t into flashy mansions and cars. She didn’t see a purpose for such a large home when she was the only resident, plus it creeped her out knowing there would be more room for potential squatters if she had opted for an 8-bedroom 6-bath mansion like her parents had for the 3 of them. She was never someone who fancied showing off expensive thing, she found it tacky and risky because you’re flashing to people that you have expensive things to steal. So, when she purchased a home, she opted for a modest 2-bedroom town house and she really did love it.

Harry was greeted with a subtle scent of cedar and nutmeg, reminding him y/n always opted for fall themed candles and home fragrances. She felt it made places feel cozier and warmer. contrary to her guarded and sometimes cold personality, she always wanted her home to feel welcoming.

Her décor was nice, a large leather couch with some dark red throw pillows along with a fuzzy blanket folded and draped over the back of the furniture. Some arm chairs also filled the Livingroom, art hung evenly on the wall and a tv mounted right in the center of the adjacent wall. A nice area rug and coffee table really finished off the center room, it was an inviting set up and Harry had to resist the urge to sit on the large couch that seemed to be calling to him as he started walking her up the steps.

The bedframe groaned as she flopped herself down on her mattress, a content sigh leaving her lips as the woman kicked off her shoes. “mmmm love my bed, missed it.” The woman placed an affectionate pet to her pillow, Harry laughing slightly at her antics whilst searching her dresser for clothes to change her into. Pinching a pair of sleep shorts and a tshirt before tossing it on the bed making his way into her bathroom so she could change in private.

Once the girl was situated, he reappeared, picking up her dirty clothes and putting them in her hamper for her. everything was going well, they weren’t fighting and she seemed to really be enjoying his presence but because Harrys an idiot he had to ruin it.

“maybe if you weren’t such a raging bitch, I wouldn’t have to come take you home and you’d have a boyfriend who could huh?”

He intended it to be their playful teasing, how they usually pick on each other and make rude comments but it came across harsher than intended. He sounded utterly mean and spiteful, and after Y/n had spent the evening warming up to him and even enjoying his company that felt like a smack in the face. Just when she thought maybe he’d changed or wasn’t so bad he had to make a comment, picking a topic she was already very sensitive about because all her previous relationships were very abusive and put her in the position she was in now of being so guarded and cold she was left to a life of loneliness.

There was a beat of silence, Harry registering his tone and how he’d just switched the atmosphere entirely. There was no sense of playfulness anymore, just hurt and anger. He regretted ever opening his mouth, seeing the woman look away from him with veins visible on her neck from the restraint she was using to hold back her tears. She cursed herself for drinking, it always made her more sensitive and she felt like a fool for not seeing Harry was just waiting for her to become vulnerable so he could strike back even when truly it wasn’t his intention, his actions left her with only that theory to believe.

Y/n cleared her throat and shot him the best glare she could while her eyes burned with tears begging to escape. “You can see yourself out Harry.” The dismissal was curt and quiet, there was no option for bargaining or pleading because she didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say. Harry knew when to pick his battles with her so he knew it was best he left, sighing slightly before leaving the bedroom making sure he locks her front door for her on his way out. he’s never wanted to beat his own ass so bad in his life.

As much as Y/n tried to hide it under her cold, blunt exterior- she was extremely insecure and broken inside. She never learned how to express her emotions or hurt. Y/n never had parents there to guide her nor comfort her in her times of need. She’d never had anyone who cared about her to look out for her besides neglectful nannies who left her to her own devices most of her childhood. She was emotionally stunted, and it had made her vulnerable to shitty people her whole life. It led to her having a 17-year-old boyfriend when she was 13 that pressured her into losing her virginity and emotionally abused her the entirety of their year long illegal relationship. It put her in the position of having a revolving door of toxic abusive relationships with cruel boys who treated her poorly, her father was never around so she never had an example of a good man so she resorted to getting attention and validation in whatever form she could even when it was harmful and a façade to use her body and status. The woman was never taught how to handle her emotions and it led to her clawing for control in any way she could, any sort of distraction and turned her to dark, destructive behaviors in her teen years that still haunt her in the form of physical and mental scars now that she’s in her adult years. She’d practically had to raise herself, and now that she’s grown, she’s running the company that stole her parents from her. she can’t tell who she hates more, her parents or herself.

Harrys word seemed to pop the stitches on an internal wound she thought was close to healing. While he was joking, she couldn’t tell. It was said with such a bitter malice it made her skin crawl. Sure, they’ve been mean to each other for 13 years but in her vulnerable state and the knowledge he had of her past his words seemed deliberate and cruel for the sole purpose of hurting her. not a stupid joke like he’d intended.

She couldn’t get it out of her head, she spent the remainder of the weekend nursing her hangover and a wounded soul. Her mind was screaming self-hating words, cruel statements towards herself and pushing her to look for comfort in another person again even when she knew she was vulnerable to falling back into the arms of yet another man who wasn’t good for her but she couldn’t bring herself to care enough about herself to make the best choices for her. she felt like she had something to prove to Harry, herself and the universe that she wasn’t so horrible that no one could stand to be around her even if the person she chose only stuck around to leech off her. it was a stupid mindset, one that’s left her torn to shreds numerus times since her early teenage years but the spiral Harrys verbal bite sent her into had her internally turning back into 14-year-old y/n who just wanted to feel like she mattered. She was setting herself up for pain again, she knew it. But like she stated before, old habits die hard.

and y/n decided she must be a glutton for punishment when her fingers started typing in the familiar number of her ex.

#harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #rivals #harry styles smut #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles drabble #harry styles x yn #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles concept #harry styles au #CEO!harry #CEO!yn

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whenimaunicorn · 5 years

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Playing House - Part Two

Many thanks for the cover image to @awkward-haux!!!

Content Warnings: unnegotiated kink scenes, anxious / negative self-talk

Summary: The Reader gets used to her new role in Ivar and Ubbe’s apartment. Trading chores for free rent should be simple, right?

Part One here

You had thought the bathroom would be the most awkward part of this arrangement, but after the first deep-clean, that job isn’t really all that bad. It turns out that for you, laundry duty carries the most emotional impact. Sorting through Ivar and Ubbe’s used clothes brings an array of tantalizing scents wafting to your nose; they each favor a different cologne, and the occasional undershirt carries a deeper musk that hits you on an entirely primal level. Ubbe’s is spicy and distracting, making your head spin just a little as you imagine being tucked under his arm. Ivar’s is sweeter, hypnotizing, and the one time that you privately brought his shirt to your nose for a full-on huff, you felt like you had been drugged.

And after the clothes are clean, the folding, pressing, and hanging feels like an intimate, worshipful little ritual all of its own. You like to do it when they’re not home, and you can be alone with your little domestic fantasy. It feels like much more of an invasion to be opening drawers and going into their closets to put things away while they’re around, anyway.

Plus, the first time you brought a fresh, fluffy laundry basket back up to the apartment, so you could fold it in front of the TV, Ivar had watched you like a hawk. He just could not stop giving you increasingly-specific instructions. It warmed your chest and set your teeth rattling in equal measure.

“Long-ways, then in thirds.”

While you get a submissive little thrill every time he tells you what to do, at this point his barrage of critique starts to make your throat thicken with the familiar anxiety about not being able to please.

“Crisper, Y/N. Smooth it out with your hand before you make the fold.”

Ubbe growls a warning sound from his end of the couch. He seems to need to remind Ivar at least once a day to go easier on you.

You hear Ivar catch his breath, holding something back. When he speaks again, his tone is softer. “I just really like the way Marie Kondo does it.”

Your eyes widen as you whip your head and look up at the boys sprawled across the couch. “Wait. You guys can’t be bothered to lift a finger to take care of anything, and you watch a cleaning show?!”

“I like a tidy house,” Ivar sniffs, unapologetic in his sheer hypocrisy. “And I like the way she organizes.”

Something tugs at your memory. You’ve seen some of her videos before. “Isn’t she the one who says you need to like, convey your affection for the clothes while you smooth them out with your hands?” Your neck starts to tingle as you connect this thought with the associations that the boys’ laundry had already started to have in your mind.

Ivar’s eyes sparkle as he holds your gaze, as if he can tell exactly what you’re thinking. “Yes. And I want to see you doing just that. With every piece.”

Ubbe groans.

You smile a little at how protective he tries to be, even if he’s missing the point. “It’s all right, Ubbe,” you say primly. “They’re Ivar’s clothes, I’ll do them however he wants.”

“Well, you don’t have to be that obsessive with mine. Just having them clean in the basket is good enough for me.”

You shake your head. “I wouldn’t leave them to get wrinkled like that.”

You finished folding Ivar’s clothes in silence that night, your nerve endings sparkling like you were doing something sexual in front of him the entire time. You kept the movements of your hands slow, graceful, and you took your time spreading each piece of fabric, knowing he knew you were imagining his chest under every shirt, wondering about the usual occupant of each pair of boxers… While it was an experience you often find yourself replaying in your mind now, you still have never quite overcome embarrassment enough to do it in front of him again.

* * *

Ubbe liked to paint himself as easier to live with than Ivar, but as everyone got more comfortable together in the apartment, that was not necessarily the truth. While Ivar used your services to kickstart himself into reorganizing all of his possessions, and then actually started to pick up after himself whenever he thought you weren’t looking, Ubbe was much more prone to leave everything lying around all over the place. Towels migrated out of both kitchen and bathroom, and were left crumpled wherever he was standing once his hands were dry. He wouldn’t always ask you to cook for him like Ivar would, but he’d leave the kitchen covered in spills and dirty dishes after whipping up whatever snack he’d just been craving.

Your freshest example of this aggravation comes unexpectedly as you’re reading on the couch, alone. Ubbe busts through the front door, hair plastered to his scalp from the sweat that darkens the top half of his sleeveless shirt. His gym bag drops. He acknowledges you with a quick nod before starting to strip right there, exposing shiny washboard abs and glistening curls of hair in the center of his chest.

The shirt, of course, lands right in the middle of the living room. He kicks his sneakers vaguely in the direction of the shoe rack and flings white socks almost as far as the kitchen in his haste to get them off. You hold your breath, knowing his shorts have to be coming off next. He’s already moving past you though, gunning for the shower, and you only feel a little guilty about turning your head to watch the big muscles of his back ripple as he drops his shorts right there in the hallway.

The sight he revealed, boxer briefs clinging to his sculpted ass, is going to stay with you for a while. One thumb hooks into his waistband, but he rounds the corner into the bathroom before you can see anything more than a sharply-contrasted tan line at the top of his hip.

You finish reading your chapter before you stand and start scooping up the trail of damp clothes Ubbe has left along the floor. You hear the shower stop after you dump them in the hamper just around the corner in his bedroom. You’re retreating to your own room when you hear Ubbe call out.

“Hey, Y/N, can you find me a towel?”

“Shit!” you exclaim. “I forgot I hadn’t put those back yet!”

“No worries,” you hear him say as you zoom toward the basket of unfolded towels you left behind the couch.

You grab one and push through the bathroom door with it. “I really should have—” the self-flagellating response dies on your lips at the sight that greets you. You had expected Ubbe to wait for you behind the shower curtain, but he’s standing right there in the open, dripping onto the tile floor without anything to cover him at all.

Rivulets of water are darkening the hair on his lower half, making it cling to the golden skin of his thighs and the paler areas usually hidden from the sun… You just kind of freeze. Ubbe takes the towel from your hands with a throaty chuckle, and uses it not to cover his body, but only his head, scrubbing first at his hair. The brisk movements make the impressive cock hanging between his legs bounce just a little on its bed of curls. You’re pretty sure you see it starting to swell.

“I’m so sorry,” you force your lips to say, your feet trying to back you out the door while your eyes don’t seem to be able to peel away from the athletic body on display before you. Tight lines of muscle definition extend up from his growing manhood, drawing the eye up the wide ‘v’ of Ubbe’s developed lats and along the bulging biceps and triceps working that towel through his hair.

He wipes down his face, revealing pale blue eyes that lock onto your own. His knowing smile says everything, but you have no idea what to say or do next.

“Mmm,” he rumbles, “worth it. This towel is still warm.” He spreads it over his chest, still doing nothing to protect his modesty. “You just standing there, or are you gonna give me a rub-down?”

“I….” It doesn’t seem like your mouth, or your feet, or your arms work, and you continue to gape at him like a fish.

“Relax,” Ubbe smiles, finally wrapping that towel around his waist, “I was only joking.” His brows pinch in concern as he rubs at the back of his neck. “Sorry if that was in poor taste.”

Damnit, now your awkwardness has made this awkward for him too. “N-no, it’s… I’m just going to… go, now.” You feel your face twist into something halfway between two different facial expressions, and finally you regain enough control over your muscles to make a break for it.

* * *

Overall, you feel like this arrangement has been going really well. Without any job to head off to, it’s pretty easy to fit all the chores into the free hours you have between classes, study sessions, and sleep. You’re warmed with pride as you move through the apartment each day, wiping things down and tidying up the clutter. And the boys make sure you feel valued for your work, each in their own way. One time last week you actually found Ivar cleaning up after himself, picking up his cereal bowl from the place at the table that used to always be encrusted with old milk spots before you came around. He froze when he noticed you caught him, and very deliberately spilled a few drops from the bowl while staring into your eyes like an arrogant housecat. It was rude, but somehow endearing. Like he couldn’t have you thinking you were starting to change him.

Your groove falls apart during Finals week. Between twelve-page papers and all-night cramming sessions at the library, you don’t even notice the way dishes start piling up in the sink. Ubbe’s discarded linens stay wherever they dropped, and Ivar’s milk splashes congeal once again on the kitchen table. You come home exhausted after your last exam, your brain blocking out the row of empty beer cans and dirty plates cluttering up the coffee table in front of Ubbe where he lays on the couch.

His finals must be done too; the boy is sprawled out shirtless across the cushions, the TV remote nestled in his hand.

“So are you like, graduated now?” you ask him as you plop onto the couch beside him. A little sigh escapes you as your muscles welcome the reprieve from gravity. You think you might sleep for about a week straight now that Finals are finally over.

Ubbe’s smile is lazy and proud. “Yeah, basically. Still have to do that ceremony and shit, but all my classes are done and I’m pretty sure I passed them.”

“Well, congratulations, man.” Your eye follows Ubbe’s left hand, idly scratching at his chest hair. “Victory day means no shirt day, huh?” you tease.

Ubbe’s eyes are locked on the figures moving on the TV screen. “Actually, there’s no clean shirts left.”

He didn’t say it in a mean way, but it still hits you like a brick to the gut. You had been aware you were choosing to let some things go this week, but Ubbe’s laundry had entirely slipped your mind. A wave of anxiety threatens to steal your breath, as your brain tells you this is a pretty major fuck-up. And if you forgot this, what else might have slipped through the cracks? “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” You propel your exhausted body up to your feet. “I’ll go start your laundry right now!”

Ubbe’s hand is around your forearm before you can take a step away from the couch. “Wait.” You turned to him, and he inspects your face carefully. “Don’t get worked up about it, Y/N. I don’t really mind.”

You try to shake him off, pressing your lips together to hide how upset you feel. Tears are starting to prickle hot behind your eyes. “It’s my actual job, Ubbe. I’ll do it now. I can’t believe I forgot.” Your voice cracks somewhere in that last sentence.

Ubbe hears it, and shakes his head with calm authority. “No.” He tugs at your arm. “You deserve a break after this week, just like the rest of us. You’re sitting back down right here with me.”

You force a weak smile, even though the impending tears are threatening to cascade over your cheeks now. You let him pull you down to the couch.

“Stay here, I’m getting you a beer.”

You try to protest that you can get it yourself, but he holds you down onto the seat with a friendly-yet-firm smile before heading into the kitchen himself.

You let yourself cry just a little while he’s not looking. A distant voice from the back of your head is saying that you’re overreacting, but you can’t stop the ugly wave of shame and worry that you’re caught up in now. You fucked up. You had one job. How hard is it to keep house? Every damned human on this planet has chores, it should have been easy to keep up.

You barely notice Ubbe’s return until he presses a cold bottle into your hand and settles his body into the cushion. He sits down so close that his thigh presses into yours, and he starts rubbing your back too. “Hey,” he says softly. “What’s going on.”

“I just don’t want to let you guys down.”

Ubbe’s hand presses a little harder. “Y/N. You do such a great job around here, I promise. I can’t believe how nice you’ve been able to keep everything.”

You bark a bitter laugh, eyeing the garbage strewn across the coffee table in front of you. “Other than this week.”

“Yes, other than this week, the busiest, most stressful week of the term. Cut yourself some slack. You need to let yourself relax, and be human, too. The place doesn’t have to be spotless every time we get home. While I appreciate the aesthetic, this isn’t the 50’s and you’re not our housewife.”

You sip from your beer and then cling to the bottle with both hands, trying to make yourself believe what Ubbe just said. Also trying not to get distracted by the mental image of twirling through the house in a full skirt and kissing Ubbe and Ivar each on the cheek as you send them off to work in some retro domestic fantasy. “I just want to do a good job for you, and hold up my end of the bargain. I don’t want you to think I’m gonna start slacking and not pull my weight.”

Ubbe sighs. He shifts toward you and puts both hands on your shoulders, attempting to loosen them with a little squeezing massage. “I was worried this would happen when Ivar came up with this idea. Don’t treat yourself like you’re our slave. That can’t be fun.”

A half smile tugs at your lips. “Well, sometimes it’s a little fun?”

Ubbe doesn’t say anything to that. You think maybe he just doesn’t get it. He squeezes the tops of your shoulders more firmly, then starts pressing his palms down your back. It’s a few minutes before anyone speaks again. “I think the problem here is that you feel like you live at your job, right? So it’s hard to figure out when it’s ok to just stop, or leave something undone.”

You nod. “Yeah, it’s like every time I’m home, I wonder if you guys think I should be doing something.”

“That’s no way to live.” His hands travel up to your neck, pinching more carefully until he finds just the right spots.

You groan a little and lean back toward him.

“What if… we made up a schedule for you. Set the expectations a little more clear, so you don’t feel like you need to do anything too often, and so you can’t” –he squeezes around the base of your skull in a way that makes your eyes roll into your head—“imagine that we want more from you than what it says.”

“Did anyone ever tell you that you give a really good massage?” you interject. Between the rush of emotion that you’re finally coming down from, and the soothing kneading of his hands, your voice comes out sounding liquid and woozy.

Ubbe chuckles behind you. “Maybe I’ve heard that once or twice.” His hands slide down your back. “But what do you think? Would something like that help you feel like you’re allowed to get time off, too?”

You can’t help focusing on the crumbs scattered over the table in front of you. Your hands still twitch with the urge to give in to the shame and go on a frenzy of manic, exhausted cleaning until everything looks perfect for them again. So you could feel proud once more. So you could feel Good. “Maybe,” you say softly, though your tone is as drawn as the expression on your face.

Ivar busts in the front door, slowing his pace as he takes in your slumped posture on the couch next to his brother. “What’s going on?” he asks sharply.

“Don’t start with her, Ivar, not tonight.” Ubbe’s hands curl over your shoulders, squeezing more briskly. “She’s having a bad day. She’s been pushing herself too hard, don’t you think?”

“It’s Finals, we all have,” Ivar answers, studying your face intently. You wonder if your eyes are still puffy from the tears you let loose a little earlier.

“Yeah, but she’s worried she let us down with the chores this week. It’s really getting to her. Tell her she does a great job keeping house for us, but it’s not necessary to keep things quite so perfect.”

The concern in Ivar’s bright eyes pierces you. “Why did you not tell me you were feeling this way?” he demands.

A bitter laugh barks out of you. “I didn’t really realize I was, until it hit me just now.”

He swings himself a step closer, looking down from his full height and trying to take charge of the situation so similarly to how Ubbe did just a little earlier. You wonder if their father handles things the same way, or if they get it from somewhere else. “Listen to me, Y/N. I love what you have done around here, but you don’t have to drive yourself mad trying to keep everything spotless. You have to live your own life, too.” He glances at Ubbe, and there must be something for him to read on his brother’s face because he takes a breath and keeps going. “I know I take things too far sometimes. I like to tease, and maybe this game wasn’t as fun for you as it was for me.”

You shake your head, worried that your breakdown was about to ruin the very vibe that was making all this worth it to you. “It’s not that—”

Ivar cuts you off. “You have to be honest with me, and tell me when enough’s enough. Can you do that?”

You nod. Ubbe’s palms smooth over your entire back in big, soothing strokes.

“Good.” Ivar looks around the place, then nods like he’s come to a conclusion. “That’s settled, then. No work for you tonight, Y/N. The place was much messier than this before you moved in, and we tolerated that just fine. Let’s get a pizza. And tomorrow, after my last exam, we’ll throw a party. Once the place is thoroughly trashed, we’ll all help clean it up.”

After the pizza’s gone you crawl into bed early, reassured but kind of exhaustedly fuzzy and ready to crash. Ivar comes in before you turn the light out, laptop under one arm. “Scoot over,” he says, then lays on your bed alongside you. “You have to watch this show with me, it’s so dope. I just binged like the entire thing last week.”

He doesn’t say anything else, but you’re sure this is another way he’s trying to make you feel better. And when he lays the laptop over your hips so he can slide himself under the blankets next to you, it’s so easy to pretend that you’re his girlfriend that you almost tear up again. You hold it together because he keeps turning to look at your face every time his favorite parts come up, wanting to see your reactions. You wonder at first if he’s using this to try to make a move on you, but he seems genuinely interested in just sharing his love of this show with you.

You’re enjoying the story, really you are, but sleep starts to drag your eyelids down somewhere into the third episode. At first Ivar nudges you awake with playful bumps of his shoulder when he notices, but eventually he relents and shuts down the computer screen. He tucks the blanket in around you after he slides out from under it. “Sleep well, little one,” he croons, probably half-sarcastically, then turns off your light on his way out.

* * *

Ivar takes a long drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke out in a long jet before responding. “That’s a good point, Y/N. I never thought about it that way.” He really is quite cool to hang out with when you’re alone with him. If he’s not showing off and trying to command the attention of a whole room, he actually listens, and can sometimes even sound like he cares.

You take another puff from your own smoke. It’s a warm Tuesday afternoon, one of the first days that feels like summer, and Ubbe hasn’t gotten home from his internship yet. You and Ivar are sitting in the little garden out behind the apartment building, in two of the communal lawn chairs. Earlier, he had scowled when you caught him with a cig on his lips and a lighter in his hands upstairs on the couch. Everyone had agreed last week that the apartment would feel much fresher, and more pleasant, if nobody smoked indoors anymore.

He had scowled, but he had gathered up his shit and made for the door. It was one of the few changes you’d made around the place that directly impacted his behavior, and you still feel a little insecure about how he’ll take it. So you had grabbed two beers and resolved to keep him company out back while he gets used to the new system.

You’re never sure where you stand with Ivar, but today the conversation is flowing so easily that you let your beer get warm in your hand while he chain-smokes and the two of you trade ideas, discovering just how well your perspectives about the world mesh together.

There’s no doubt that the heat of summer is finally here. Only the regular gusting of a cool breeze is saving you, bringing with it the scent of freshly-cut grass and the feeling that nothing matters but right now. Or is it Ivar doing that to your mood? His rare openness and candor, that crooked smile is lighting you up from the inside out, forcing your face to reflect his.

He’s holding your eyes, on the tail end of one of those grins, as he wraps his lips around his bottle and takes a sip. Something shifts in his expression as he swallows the beer. “Y/N,” he says softly, tone going serious. His eyes darken as his lips curl playfully. “You’ve let my beer get warm.”

You crease your brows, confused. “We have been out here a long time, haven’t we.”

He shakes his head, clucking his tongue in exaggerated disappointment but refusing to release your eyes. “You’ve failed me, Y/N. A good thrall would anticipate my every need.”

He’s finally doing it again. A shiver runs through you, the excitement of what kinky things you hope he’s implying whipping against your spine. It pushes a nervous laugh from your throat. “I can’t control how hot it is out here.”

Ivar cocks his head to the side, condescension under his lifting brow. He wiggles his bottle.

“…Should I get you a new one?”

A beatific smile spreads across his features; he seems pleased with your offer. “That would be wise.”

You notice your fingers shaking just a little as you set the butt of your almost-finished cigarette into the ashtray. You like when Ivar makes you feel this way; the whole world narrows down. You peel your sweaty thighs off the cheap lawn chair and rise, almost regretting your choice to wear such skimpy shorts. But surely you’d be dying in the heat out here in long pants. And Ivar seems to like looking at your thighs. You wonder if he’s leering at you now, while you scamper back into the apartment, but you don’t dare to look over your shoulder at him.

Luckily, you had had the foresight to chuck a few of the warm bottles you had brought home today right into the freezer, assuming that Lothbrok appetites were sure to run too quickly through the short supply left in the fridge. The brown glass is frosty and perfect as you take them out now. These will be sure to return you to Ivar’s favor in this silly, contrived, tantalizing game.

When you come back outside, Ivar is gazing across the garden, sucking softly at the last of your cigarette. Has he pulled your chair closer to his, or did you just imagine that part?

He says nothing as you come around to resume your seat; he just watches you, with an intensity that burns hotter than the sun scorching the plants just outside the line of shade you’re sheltering under. You hand Ivar a bottle so cold that it has already started to accumulate moisture in the three seconds it’s been outside.

He takes a sip after you sit, and makes a pleased noise of appreciation. “Much better.”

You get one swallow of frosty beverage down your own throat before Ivar speaks again.

“Now come here.”

You’re already sitting next to him. His wide hand gestures to the space directly in front of his own chair. Your mouth goes dry; you put your bottle down anyway. There is no question but to do what Ivar asks.

His eyes glitter, impossibly large in his handsome face, as he watches you come to your feet and stand before him. You can’t seem to read his intention and it’s hard not to flinch when his arm moves. “You still need a lesson.” His gaze moves to the beer bottle in his hand, and so yours does too, attention catching on the drips of condensation on the glass.

He presses that coldness directly against your thigh, other hand coming to your hip to hold you steady when you inevitably squirm.

“This is how cold I like my drinks. Do you feel that?” He rolls the bottle toward your inner thigh, the contrast with the ambient air shocking each nerve ending in turn.

You suppress a squeal when the icy glass presses between both legs, but you feel the clench of his fingers around your hip and try to stay still for him. The cold almost burns, and your body’s not sure how to handle it if retreat is not an option.

Ivar’s face is lit with a glee that looks more than a little bit demonic. His eyes travel up your body. “On your knees.” His voice remains calm and even.

Arousal blooms, relaxing your joints as you drop to comply. This may look more like bullying than foreplay to anyone else, but this is hotter than any of the shy kisses or sleazy groping that other boys have tried on you in the past. Ivar threads his free hand around the back of your head, under your hair. “You didn’t answer me.” He presses the bottle against the side of your neck, making sure the sudden freeze hits the most sensitive place behind your jaw. “Do you feel how cold that is?”

You force your body not to cringe; your answer rushes out on your overwhelmed exhale. “Yes, Ivar.”

“Do you understand what I expect, when I am drinking beer with you now?” He curls the bottle around toward the back of your neck, biting his lip at whatever change he sees in your face.

“Yes, Ivar.”

“Good.” He slides the bottle toward the front again, the base making contact with the top of your collarbone. “Before you serve me again, you can check the temperature like this” –he presses the bottle into your neck more firmly—“or, here” –he moves it down to the swell of your breast, above the v-neck of your shirt—“or, if you want, like this.” Swinging his grip to catch the neck of the bottle between his fingertips, he leans forward and presses the thickest part of it right between your bare thighs. “Remember how this feels,” he coaches, and you watch his full lips move as he speaks the words so close to your face. “If it’s not this cold next time, I’ll have to give you a more extensive lesson.”

A whimper escapes your throat, and you can’t pretend it’s only from the cold. After so much anticipation, for Ivar to finally be touching you like this, to be treating you in a way that is unmistakably sexual…

He leans back abruptly, removing the frosty bottle from your flesh and taking a smug swig out of it as he settles back into his chair. “Do you understand, Y/N?”

Every cell is vibrating inside your body as you gaze up at the dark look on his face. “Yes, Ivar.” You can’t wait until it’s time to serve Ivar again, so you can press the next bottle to your skin just exactly as he had instructed.

The sliding sound of the back door whooshes. “There you guys are,” Ubbe’s voice rings out, the sound of it shouldering into the space between you.

You rock back reflexively, but look to Ivar for instruction before moving further. He shakes his head with almost-imperceptible disappointment and nods for you to rise before Ubbe can wonder what exactly was going on out here.

Part 3.1 here

Taglist: @swagmonstertoes @hanhanxx @perfectus-in-morte @xxdearlybeloved@littledeadrottinghood @persephone-is-here-omg @rekdreams247 @what-the-heart-desires @inforapound @creepshowzombae @tomarisela @vladsgirl@youbloodymadgenius @walkxthexmoon@funmadnessandbadassvikings @trashqueenbitch @justlovelifeblog @earl-aive @supernaturalvikingwhore @equalstrashflavoredtrash @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen @ceridwenofwales @grungyblonde @pokeasleepingsmaug @hvittysmutanon @honestsycrets @wuxiesalt @thorins-queen-of-erebor @writingfromasgard

#ivar imagine #ivar x reader #ubbe imagine #ubbe x reader #vikings au #playing house fic

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aleapoffaithfiction · 5 years

Text

IX.

"If one must fall into love, to give up and dive headfirst, knowing that everything can change in a heartbeat - there must be an upside." ― Rebekah Crane

“The scar isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It’s pretty thin and with a good skin serum, it may be able to heal up even more.”

Though she isn’t here in the physical, my mother immediately called me on FaceTime to be at my doctor’s appointment over the phone. She’s yet to miss any of them no matter where she is and today is no different. She even instructed me to flip the camera so she could watch intently as every staple was removed from my ankle area. We’re officially transitioning into the physical therapy aspect of things. It’ll be a slow but steady progress with that, but this is the part I’ve been waiting for since I left the operating table.

The post-surgery pain distracted my mind from the mental ridicule about the nothingness in activity I’ve experienced in the following weeks but I’ve dealt with more insecurity than I’ve dealt with in quite some time since then. Even in staring at this scar, I’m slightly being tormented with it. Injuries are a part of life, especially when you earn your income doing something that has a higher percentage of leaving you injury prone, but you damn near feel like you’re invincible until life throws that curveball your way. It’s been difficult to watch my team continue to work towards what may end up being their worst season ever while I’m sitting around my house watching. All of the well wishes and even a surprising call of encouragement from coach and John Mara were much appreciated, but more than anything else, I’d rather be there.

“Yeah, the doctor said it’s looking good.”

“I already e-mailed you three of the newer people we’re going to bring in for the rehabilitation process. I sent out proper scheduling for the chiropractor and the biomechanics trainer too, so all should be well within that area. Once you’re just about to full capacity in terms of strength, you can implement the yoga and pilaties back into your usual workout routine.”

“I can’t wait.”

“I know. You’ve been patient son. You’ve been more discipline with this than I thought you would be. I figured that I would have to do a lot more yelling but you’ve spared me and I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, momma.”

“So, what are you getting into today?” The house is empty, but mostly in preparation for the crowd that will begin coming in tomorrow with the exception of Ben. He’ll be in town sometime this afternoon.

I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year, not only because I’m actually home for the holiday, but also because the team has a home game instead of an away game the very next day. So, I figured why not do something that everyone can enjoy so that’ll I’ll have time to catch up with not only my family but plenty of the teammates who I consider to be genuine friends of mine. Chef Renee intends to handle all of the main course and momma promised to make the desserts.

“I have to stop by the GQ party, but you already knew that. After that, I’m just chilling.” I’m hoping the chilling factor will include the woman who has taken a permanent residency in my thoughts. I haven’t been with her in a couple of days and to say that I miss her would be an understatement. I usually have no issue with having contact with people via the phone, because it’s the typical way of communication for just about everyone within our age group, but with her, it’s just…different. I want the face to face communication. I prefer to bask in the infectiousness of everything about her while we’re sitting in the same room together. While it’s nice over the phone, it’s comforting and crazily feels like this perfect sense of normalcy in person.

Waking up in her bed the morning of my birthday felt like all was right within the world. Our limbs were loosely tangled with one another, while her relaxed exhales warmed the side of my neck. She’s a bit more of a wild sleeper than I am, but most of her shifting seemed to only be attempts to find the perfect position to remain in throughout the night. Because her body is so used to the early mornings she has throughout the week, she briefly woke up around five thirty and left the bed to go to the bathroom. I know this because though she attempted to be careful, she woke me up by lifting the bottom end of the covers to make sure my ankle was properly resting on the three pillows she propped it on top of for elevation purposes. My playful “ouch” startled the hell out of her and she whacked me with the blanket before returning it back to its proper positioning.

What may have been the best part about it is us not going back to sleep right away. Instead, we laid in bed with cups of chamomile and lavender tea while further deep diving into the past and present aspects of our lives to aid in creating extensive knowledges about one another. With mixtures of morning and tea breath, bare faces, hints of crust in our eyes, and hazy eyes from yet another wave of drowsiness washing over us, we shared an intimacy that I’ve never shared with anyone else. It was just us, in such a vulnerable and raw form, accepting one another without the masks and occasional flamboyancy we put on display for the consumption of those who couldn’t care less about our emotional states. For just a while, our eyes spoke what our mouths did not as our penetrating glares met one another until we drifted off to sleep yet again. There was something about that, that seemingly generated this oneness between us that was uncanny and yet made sense.

“Just chilling huh?” Her eyebrow flew up in the way that all women’s do when they’re either curious, about to ask a million questions, or intend to catch you in a lie. If anyone can catch me in a lie before it can even come out of my mouth, it’s my momma. She claims it’s my facial expressions and the way I can’t help but to widen my eyes with an uncontrollable smirk. My bluffs are too obvious.

“Yeah, what else would I be doing?”

“You’re rarely alone, especially when you’re supposedly just chilling. You run that house like it’s a frat house more often than you’re in it alone and yet it seems like you’re starting to enjoy when no one is around. I’m not stupid though. Someone is around. How’s Sarai doing?” I nearly choked as a bit of my own saliva trickled down the wrong portion of my throat in a sudden response to her question. This is what I mean when I say that she calls my bluff. Right now, she’s just doing it to fuck with me because she’s getting some kind of amusement out of it but for the most part, she’ll leave me be for as long as whatever’s happening isn’t something negative or a potential public relations nightmare. The media hounds me for even a hint of what they consider to be “out of line” so I can only imagine what were to happen if I were out here literally living the life of a carefree, entitled, wild guy.

“Sarai’s good momma.”

“That’s all? Just good?”

“Yeah, she’s good.”

“So, what’s up with you two?”

“You all packed up for your flight tomorrow? I can’t wait until you make that red velvet cake. I’m definitely cutting that as soon as it’s done. I’m just warning you now so that I won’t get in trouble later.”

“You’re not cutting anything until we’ve all had dinner, and don’t switch the subject on me.” The loud groan that filled the examination room was automatic.

“Ma.”

“What? I’m not asking you any extremely private questions because Lord knows, I don’t want to know anything that deep. It’s a general question.”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is, especially for your mother.”

“We’re figuring things out.” And that’s truly what it is. It’s what I suggested we do while we spoke with one another in my driveway and it’s what we’ve been trying to establish and work through since then. I’m not in a mental limbo where I’m trying to figure out exactly what I want out of my connection with her. This isn’t some random fling I’ve started up for the sake of temporary entertainment that I’ll be either be bored of or have no time for within a few weeks or maybe even months. I’ve had just a small number of encounters with commitment but I’ve had my fair share of “situationships” that went on to crash and burn before they were able to turn into something more. I can admit that I am to blame for a lot of that because I haven’t been actively seeking anything long term. In the back of my mind, I always assumed that I’d know when a woman in my life is meant to be something more than someone who I associate myself with occasionally.

I’ve always made my moves based upon physical attraction much like most of the men within my field do. There’s a ton of shallowness involved in the process and I’d be livid if someone dared to approach my daughter with that mindset if or when I have one. It wasn’t until Sarai that I hesitated and even scolded myself just for having the thought to approach her. I laughed at myself for the audacity and summed it up to it just needing to be admiration from afar. After she spoke up for me, I told myself that I needed to thank her and I made it my mission to do so but deep down, I knew better than the lies I was feeding to myself. I’d reached a point of wanting her more than I wanted anything else. I’m still at that point, but it’s intensified to a need. I just wonder if karma has shown up to give me a taste of what I’ve done to women who didn’t deserve it. Why do I want the woman who views me as forbidden fruit?

“I like her, I like her a lot if that counts for something.”

“I like her a lot too.” Sometimes that feels like an understatement.

“I know you do, son. It’s been quite clear for a while now. Did you invite her over for Thanksgiving dinner? If she’s not spending time with her own family, it’d be nice to have her.”

“Yeah, I told her about it. She’s heading to Brooklyn to spend the day with her mother and sister, but she told me if she doesn’t leave from over there too late, she’ll stop by.”

“Sounds good.”

“Yeah, it should be cool.”

“I’m going to go because I have a bit of running around to do. Please be careful at that party and make sure your walking boot is secure. Enjoy it though. I’m proud of you.” GQ honored me by putting me on one of Men of the Year covers. They titled me as “Hustler of the Year” alongside Kevin Durant who is “Champion of the Year”, Gal Gadot who is “Wonder Woman of the Year”, Colin Kaepernick who is “Citizen of the Year”, and finally Stephen Colbert who is “Bad Hombe of the Year”. I certainly wasn’t expecting it, given the circumstances of what happened and the predicament that I’m in now, but I’m appreciative of the recognition.

“Appreciate it momma. I’ll be alright. I’m not staying that long anyway.”

“Okay. So, I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Alright, later.”

As soon as she ended the call, I stuck my phone down into my pocket and carefully hopped down from the examination table. For as long as I have on the walking boot, I don’t have to have as much dependency on the crutches anymore, so, I dragged them along to the receptionist desk and picked up the card for my next appointment.

For the first time in quite a while, I actually drove myself into the city and that personal freedom gave me the urge to leisurely stop at a couple of stores.

“Anything in particular you’re looking?” I wandered off to the women’s floor of Bergdorf Goodman minutes ago and slowly strolled around looking for nothing in particular. Annie, is who she introduced herself as when I asked for help downstairs, and she’s either been alongside me or trailing behind me since then. Though she’s yet to acknowledge it, she’s aware of who I am. It’s more than likely why she’s so eagerly walking my black ass around this store and pointing out things with price tags that have four to five digits on them.

“This bag here.” Sarai was wearing one of its kind in black the night she came to my house. My nosiness got the best of me while she was in the shower after we were settled at her place. While glancing around her walk-in closet, I saw yet another bag of the same make but up in a navy shade. It’s safe to say, they’re among her favorites.

“Ah yes, that’s the Chanel Boy Bag. It’s a popular model. Is there a particular color that you’re looking for?”

“No.” I don’t know what I’m looking for.

“Well it is fall, so maybe a nice brown, green, maroon, or black will due. This one over here is one of the newer ones. It’s pure python skin and one hundred percent leather. It’s the perfect blend of blues that can work with just about everything. Because of the python skin, it’s one of the more expensive versions of the bag. It runs about six thousand, one hundred dollars.” High end bags are usually something I spoil my mother with during holidays or at those random moments when I want to show her how much I love her with something materialistic. I don’t always know whether she likes them or not because she showers me with hugs and kisses in excitement and appreciation no matter what. I’m no expert at this. I do know it’ll look good on her, but everything would look good on her so that’s not saying much. Hopefully, she’ll like it.

“I’ll take it.” Though my shrug was nonchalant, a wave of nervousness washed over me as I anticipated what her response would be. I’ve grown to know how independent she is and most of all, how proud she is of her profession. It’s admirable and I hold her in the highest regard because of it, but I’m hopeful about her being able to accept nice things from people who care about her. Everyone deserves that from time to time.

I couldn’t and didn’t leave without making sure to grab something for my momma and Jazzy. With my pops and I both wearing the same shoe size, he can raid my closet for whatever he prefers.

On the way back to Jersey, I couldn’t make it all the way home without a stop at Five Guys and lastly the gas station. I’d been living life on the edge with a nearly empty tank since I left this morning. I was running too late to stop to do anything.

“You doing another crutch of shame from Sarai’s crib?”

Khan, Blackjack, and Aris immediately greeted me in the foyer as I closed the door behind myself. I didn’t bother awaiting Mowgli because he had no intention on approaching me unless I called for him. The sound of Ben’s voice didn’t surprise me because I’d given him a key a while back just in case his flight arrival times ran into time frames when I’d be out of the house. Per his usual, the jokes are starting already. He’s been talking about the supposed “crutch of shame” ever since I came home early that afternoon on my birthday. No matter how much I emphasize that nothing of that sort happened, he’s still running with the shit.

“I’m coming from a doctor’s appointment bitch boy.”

“Is that what you’re calling it these days? She’s your doctor?”

“What are you talking about? I’m really coming from the doctor.” I couldn’t help but to chuckle at how much of a dumbass he was purposefully being.

“So, what did the doctor say?” As he appeared in the hall, he held a half of a sandwich in one hand and his iPhone in the other. I know he didn’t make that shit himself because it’s too neatly put together, which means Renee is either here or has been here at some point since this morning.

“It’s looking good to start physical therapy.”

“Good. I know your ass is happy. Now you can finally stop moping and bitching about sitting around and doing nothing.”

“Call of Duty, movies, and eating wasn’t cutting it anymore. That shit got old real fast.” I found myself sitting in the theater pulling all-nighters playing that game because I didn’t have shit else to do. I’d skim through Netflix and Amazon Prime trying to find something that’ll grab my interest enough to watch it. I ordered movies that I either watched only for a couple of minutes or never turned on at all. I bought books that I’ve yet to read. The trip to New Orleans is what stopped me from going insane in here. I’ve always had a hard time sitting still and though I’m learning to appreciate down time a lot more given the life I live now; I still need to feel active.

“When you starting?”

“Within the next two weeks.” While I brushed my hands over Khan’s head, I reached and did the same to Blackjack. I haven’t been as attentive to them as I usually am since the injury. I can’t risk the weight or the strain of any style of play just yet but I’m going to incorporate them into this physical therapy process in some type of manner. If I can’t be out there on the field juking anybody, then Khan and Aris will be my practice.

“We still hitting up that GQ party tonight?”

“Yeah. I’m not trying to be there too long though. I kinda just want to chill tonight.” And I am, when he falls asleep. I swear he’s narcoleptic because he can fall asleep anywhere and at any time. By the time we get back here, he’ll nod off somewhere in the house and I’m out.

“I feel you dog. I’m not really in a partying mood either.”

“You? You’re not in a partying mood?” As I moved towards the kitchen, the dogs were in tow. The candy fiend within me kicked in as soon as I got close the house.

“You say that like I party all the time.”

“Nigga, you live at the club.”

“With you. I be partying with yo’ ass.”

“I haven’t been at the club since my ankle broke and you still out there partying. Don’t blame me.”

“Aye, I’m a bachelor. I’m just trying to live my best life.”

The pack of Twizzler Sours were my choice and I opened up a bottle of Gatorade to wash them down with. My next move was to sit up on the counter and text Sarai the picture of my ankle and the scar I took at the doctor’s office. She asked me to keep her updated this morning and I’m keeping my promise.

The toughest warriors always have battles scars that tell their stories. You got this babe.

Babe? I’ve graduated from Beckham to babe? I’ll fucking take it.

Doc says it’s looking good. I got the greenlight for physical therapy.

“I wish you were in my shoes for just a second so you can see that dumbass smirk on your face. I’m going to have to dap her up the next time I see her because she has you tripping. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have it this bad.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I’m not gon’ front. We all know she’s bad. You’re getting to know her beyond anything outsiders will ever know though, and based upon the way your barely walking ass is floating around here, she has to be something special.”

“She is.”

I’m glad to hear that. I can’t see you within this moment but I know you’re smiling because you’ve been waiting for that. Just take it step by step. By the summer time, you’ll be tearing up Quest Diagnostic Training Center at OTAs and mini camps.

I’m damn sure looking forward to that. Now that the injury talk has died down, the media has transitioned to speaking about contract extensions and my commentary about not only wanting to be the highest paid wide receiver in the league, but eventually the highest paid player overall. I meant and stand by what I said. I’m confident in my talent speaking for what I deserve no matter what the opinions of any pessimist are. I’m not necessarily pressed or stressing myself about whatever is going to happen with that particular situation. I’ll let my agent handle it and we’ll discuss matters when it’s necessary. Right now, I have an overall comeback to continue preparing for.

I’m looking forward to it baby. What are you doing tonight?

“And you’re short about her too. Yeah, you really are about to become one of those niggas.”

“One of what niggas?” I’m not short about her. I share a lot of myself with the ones who I cherish and with the world. I’m a human being. Sometimes I need certain things that are just for me and right now Sarai is exactly that. It’s not that I don’t want to boast and brag about her, because there are times when I’m damn near ready to combust and blurt out everything about her that makes me tick in a good way. I’ll get there. I know I’ll get there, because I have a tendency to become like a ray of light who wants to shine my happiness on everyone whenever I’m in that mental space. Sarai isn’t someone or something you hide, but for now she’s someone I’m cherishing like a rare pearl found in the deepest crevice of one of the oceans.

I have an event tonight. It’s one of those things when you wish that the people you made plans with forgot that plans were made.

Well, I guess I’ll be chilling for sure, but with Ben.

I have an event too. It’s kind of obligatory. I’m not that interested in going, though.

“One of those niggas who ups and disappears when they have a girl. You know how that shit be. One minute, you and your niggas are chilling heavy and out of nowhere one of them just disappears because some chick dun’ put a spell on him and now he’s lost in the sauce. You already pulled the disappearing act. One minute we were all sitting at the table playing a round of spades and about to take Patron shots to bring in yo’ birthday and the next minute yo’ ass is gone without a trace.” I had to laugh because technically, that is how it happened. I probably should have said something, especially when all of those text messages came in when I turned my phone on in the morning. Shit, the fact that I turned off my phone alone caused me to not be able to hear the end of it for a couple of hours. Unlike everyone else, Ben’s the only one who knew where I disappeared to.

“My girl? I thought you said that I can’t get her.”

“Occasionally, people pull off the impossible. I don’t know what you’re pulling off though. We gon’ see.”

I guess we’re both being forced out of the house. Are you sure you’re okay with attending an event? Will you be able to sit down?

Her concern with my ankle has yet to falter. Not only does she ask about how I’m feeling daily, but she also sends over tips and damn near scolds me like my mother whenever she assumes that I’m being stubborn and not doing the right thing for it. When we’re together, it’s propped up on pillows while she warns me to never get up as she fetches whatever it is that I or we need. I warned her that coddling it isn’t going to make me stronger and her snappy response was that applying early pressure and forcing a speedy recovery will only set me back to day one. The look in her eyes was all I needed as a warning to shut my mouth.

I should be able to sit. I’ll be fine, nurse.

“You keeping it casual or you getting suited up tonight?”

“Suited up. Jason dropped off this maroon joint that I’m feeling. I’ll probably keep it seasonal and throw on a turtleneck under it. Maybe do an Amiri boot with it or a pair of Tom Fords.”

“Oh, you getting dressed, dressed.”

“It’s a GQ party.”

“And? They’ll be lucky if I don’t wear what I have on right now. Fuck all of that.”

“Get your jet lagged and dirty ass out of here.”

Maybe you’ll call me later on, whenever you’re free? We don’t tape a new episode until Friday due to the holiday, so timing isn’t really a factor. I should be up to answer.

“Ain’t a motherfucking thing dirty on me. I washed my ass this morning.”

“I can smell your breath from here.”

Once I carefully slid off of the counter, I discarded the empty Gatorade bottle and began to make my way out of the kitchen. Though what I’m wearing sounds finalized, I need to go over it and whatever other options I have one more time just to be sure.

Absolutely. I’ll call you later on.

And since she’s off, I’ll find a way to see her tomorrow.

I’ve never understood why they call these types of events parties. Even with the music blaring to the point of filling me from head to toe, there is absolutely nothing engaging about it. Though I’m not in any predicament to hit a dance floor, I couldn’t if I wanted to because there isn’t one. There are no crowds of people huddled around one another, battling it out to the latest dance crazes that have hit the internet. There are none of those infamous plastic red cups that either contain soda because you’re trying to keep it light for the night or some type of alcoholic concoction that your friend put together that’ll eventually have you on your ass before the night is over or when you wake up the next morning. No one’s carelessly sweating all into their favorite party attire from their closets. None of the women are using their fingers to slick pieces of their hair out of the way, because they no longer care about looking good for the sake of attracting the attention of guys, they’ve taken a liking to around the neighborhood or campus.

It’s situations like this that make me miss LSU; the days when everything was authentic and damn near carefree. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’m constantly being reminded that what I love to do and am currently doing for a living is a business. More than a reason for anything else, it’s why I do my best in being authentically myself no matter who is peeved or offended by it. Since my second year with the team, I’ve always emphasized self-preservation before anything else to the rookies because the business side of this shit will suck the life out of you and leave you high and dry with no remorse whatsoever. I can admit that my wide receiver status comes with a lot more celebrity than the large majority of the men I go to battle with on Sunday nights. Much like I’ve used it to my advantage in furthering my brand, so has the NFL, so it is what it is. At this point, I’m consciously working towards drawing back because all of this is a part of my life, but I’m tired of it feeling like it’s my whole life.

“Wonder Woman bout fine as hell.” It’s like the tenth time Ben has said that shit. He was even able to finesse a couple of photos with her as I stepped off to the side to have a conversation with KD.

“You see dude with the salt and pepper hair right there?” I peeped him lingering behind her since we arrived. He was far enough to allow her to shine and yet close enough to make his presence known.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“That’s her husband. You ain’t bagging that.”

“You think I give a fuck about her husband? I’ll still give her the business if she let me. Oprah too, I don’t give a fuck about Stedman. Jada Pinkett. Angela Bassett. Auntie got an ass on her. I think the only married women I’m not touching are Michelle Obama or Beyoncé and it ain’t even out of respect for the marriage. It’s because their husbands got shooters.”

I couldn’t hear my own laughter over the music but it was loud enough to make him instantly join in. Only his stupid ass.

“Odell?” My eyes shifted to the right of me as whoever called my name took a seat on the couch. Jasmine. I haven’t seen her in a while. Honestly, I haven’t seen anyone in a while, but her? It’s been way more than just a couple of months. Our last encounter was somewhere in L.A. during the off season. It might have been at some random house party thrown by someone in Drake’s crew. It was either there or at Playhouse over on Hollywood Boulevard. We didn’t have much of anything between one another other than an agreement to fuck around behind closed doors if we were in the same city and time permitted it. What was once a mutual decision shifted into expectations that I couldn’t meet so we fell back from one another, or maybe it was just me who did the falling back. Given that she does print modeling, I’m not surprised to see her here tonight. She’s been working hard at trying to raise herself up in the ranks in the high fashion world, but I think it’s her height that’s working against her more than anything else. She’s give or take maybe five three or five four with heels on.

“What’s up Jas?” The hair that once cascaded down her back is now cut to just above her shoulders and there seems to be some sort of a rose vine style of a tattoo now decorating that area. She’d watched me get a tattoo once and it sparked what now seems to be a new found love and hobby for her.

“Nothing much. Just grinding. How are you?” She didn’t have to directly say it. Once her eyes met the boot donning my foot, I knew the context of the question.

“Getting better day by day.”

“It’s been a while. I thought you prefer to escape the cold and come out West when you’re not playing? What’s keeping you East?” Two things: the surgeon and specialists are all based in New York and Sarai Nazaire.

“The doctors I have to have follow up checkups with are out here and I’d rather not have to keep flying back and forth. I’ll just wait it out until I’ve gotten to the point when I can go an extended amount of time without having to be in their offices. I’m enjoying being home though. It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve actually gotten to enjoy my house.” And that’s the truth. Usually when the season ends, I’m on the first flight out to L.A. whether I’m flying private or not. Being a Louisiana native, the cold isn’t my thing and even with the years I’ve spent here thus far, I’m still not used to it. I’ve made a lot of friendships out on the west coast too.

Being home has given me plenty of time to reflect and most of all, be settled. I’m not settled in L.A. and I’ve never wanted to be that out there. From the time I opened my eyes in the morning, I’d be on go until I fell asleep again at some ridiculous hour in the am yet again. I thought being home would give me this sense of feeling washed up, but instead it’s granted me a regularity that I’ve been seeking and yet didn’t know to acquire.

“But you are coming to L.A. at some point to train, right?” Her eyebrows rose in curiosity. A shrug was the initial response to that.

“I don’t know. I’m definitely rehabbing here. So, I’ll see what happens when I’m in the clear to run on a field again. Nothing is set in stone though.”

“I don’t think I can ever live out here. As soon as I stepped out of the airport today, I nearly turned back around. It’s too damn cold.”

“Yeah, it’s nippy.” I mean, what did she expect? It’s damn near the end of November in New York City.

“I’m out here for the week to shoot with Jeremy Scott.”

“That’s dope. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. Congratulations on the cover. Hustler of the Year is fitting for you.”

“Appreciate it.”

What I thought was going to be a short-lived conversation turned into her deciding to remain by my side as if she were the third missing amigo to Ben and I. Though her topics of discussion felt casual, the gestures against my clothed limbs weren’t. Out of boredom, I kept count of the number of times her hand grazed the arm and leg nearest to her. The only thing she hadn’t done is set up a time and a place for the two of us to meet once we walked out of those doors separately tonight. More so for her own sake rather than mine, I hope she doesn’t muster up the boldness she can have every now and then. It’s not happening.

“You’re not drinking.” Her breath reeked of alcohol. Maybe she’s been smelling her own far too much to notice only the scent of cranberry juice oozing from mine.

“Nah, I haven’t been drinking much since this happened. Initially, I couldn’t drink because of the medication and now I’m just chilling on it until I get my body back right. It’s a disciplinary habit.”

“Remember that time we got drunk at The London in Beverly Hills? By the time we woke up in the morning, my panties were draping from a lamp shade.” Yet again, her hand grazed my thigh. Ben quietly grew fed up with the unrequested company on the opposite side of myself and swiftly moved about the place to mingle amongst those that he knows from the two of us hanging around certain cities. He’d bailed on me, but not without making it more than obvious that he was doing exactly that. Jasmine wasn’t fazed in the slightest by his slick commentary about me needing to carry a fly swatter with me for moments like this.

“Uh, I.”

My glared panned past her and in an instant, my breath became hitched in my throat at the unexpected. The hand that I raised to tug at my collar, eventually slid up and washed over my whole entire face as my frame transitioned into a furnace like blaze. Though I couldn’t hear her laughter, just the sight of her smile illuminated the room in only a way that her aura could. While standing alongside Chad Johnson, she stretched her arm out in the direction of a male standing before her and their hands interlocked for a shake. As her eyebrows rose, yet again, another fit of giggles spilled from her lips and my body shifted, creating a space between Jasmine and I. Like me, she wore a turtleneck, but hers is an entire long-sleeved dress hugging every curve and accent of her ridiculous frame. Its shortness was a bold lack of concern for the brittle air outside and yet the sight of her milk chocolate legs stole not only my attention but that of many others who glanced at her every couple of seconds. She commanded all eyes on her without ever moving from one spot, radiated beauty in its rarest form, and unnerved every fiber of my being without speaking a word to me. If I weren’t on one of those covers, I’m not even sure whether she’d know or care that I’m here.

“Excuse me, Jasmine.” Droplets of the contents inside of my glass splashed onto the table I dropped it on before I made a dash for Ben. He’d been posted up in a corner speaking with Jordan Clarkson for the past couple of minutes.

“I know. I know.” As his eyebrows flew up, what is usually laughter that instantly makes me laugh along with him, turned into something so fucking annoying.

“You good?” What kind of question is that?

“I’m good.” The greeting I shared with Jordan was barely there, because my attention remained locked on the opposite side of the room. He’d yet to let go of her hand and although she was no longer laughing, she seemed to be doing her best to remain composed as he continued to bestow his flattery on her. I know he’s flirting, because he’s being given the same exact facial expression every athlete who visits the show receives whenever they try their hand at wooing her. Her smile is forced, with just a slight curve. Tonight, her lips are painted a crimson red shade. It makes the manner in which they’re pressed together that much more visible. There’s a side of her that always attempts to at least save the moment from being embarrassing by playing along while slyly blowing off the person in the process and then there’s the other side, who will professionally check you before the commentary can either get out of line or shift the segments of their show into places they have no business being in. I’m not sure what happens in a party setting, but she’s being polite nonetheless.

“What are you doing?” I could hear Jasmine speaking near my ear and yet I couldn’t bear to look at her. As Chad threw his arm over Sarai’s shoulder, she finally turned her head and captured my line of view. I could feel my lips arising into a smile, but hers did not. The glance was treated as something random. As quickly as she looked over is as quickly as her head shifted back into position to be respectful to the man speaking to her. Like a mime, he turned his head to figure out who or what she saw and it was then that I could put a name to the side of his face as he walked away from her; Mychal Kendricks. It’s the middle of the season, what is he doing out here?

“Excuse me.”

My feet were in accord with the erratic portion of myself that tends to rub people the wrong way despite whatever honest intentions I may have. Like the fiercest magnet, I’m drawn to her in a way that I can’t quite explain and I continue to find myself doing things like this; either putting myself in a position for potential embarrassment or tossing aside every sense of cool that I know I have just to become completely lost into hers.

“Oh shit. It’s that pretty boy wideout who ain’t prettier or faster than me.” Chad immediately drew me in for a hug before I could respond. We’re not close friends or anything of that sort, but there’s a high level of respect between he and I, because we’re cut from the same cloth of being misunderstood. His skill and agility were taken for granted by the league and I don’t believe he was given a fair second chance. Whenever we cross paths, he always makes sure to drop a couple of gems for me to take along with me on this journey and every once in a while, he’ll shoot me a text message or two with work out advice to continue increasing my stamina.

“Boy ain’t nothing pretty about cha.” The Nola drawl oozed out with my words as we shared a laugh.

“How you looking, big dawg? Give me something for a segment; a Friday hot take or something. You in therapy yet?”

“On my way. Just got clearance.”

“That’s all I need. I’m about to throw some extra sauce on that shit and start telling the people you back.”

Even with us being inches away from one another, I might as well had been a gust of wind that blew over in their direction and would eventually fizzle away. She holds the supposed forbidden nature of what is mutual between the two of us in a higher regard than she does what is undeniable.

“You remember Sarai, right? Ya’ll did the interview.” Within one shift, her upper frame twisted enough to slightly face me.

“Odell. How are you?” Like she’d done Mychal, her arm extended towards me and I latched my own onto hers. The perspiration within her palm moistened mine while the faint trembling radiating from her core further rattled my own.

“I’m well. It’s very nice to see you again.”

“Likewise.” My thumb grazed over the smooth skin. Like a trigger, she awakened parts of me that have been neglected for some months now. For the past couple of weeks, it’s felt like I’m dragging through a scorching desert losing every bit of liquid within me and the only one possible of quenching my thirst is within reach and yet so far away. It’s like a torturous tease and yet a test of my willingness. How much do I need it? How far am I willing to go to have it?

“I might be prettier than you, but this queen right here is a better at everything. I just sit on the panel with hope that I’ll be able to fill her shoes one day. Right, Sarai?” While rolling her eyes, she playfully nudged him away from her and stuck up her middle finger just enough for him to notice it.

“I agree.” I would have agreed whether she was standing here or not.

“You already know I tell everybody you’re the best. I’m a firm believer that somehow, women are better at everything than us.” He has a point. There are no other creatures on earth who know how to make a will or a way for everything like women do. They’re the true pioneers of making something out of nothing. That’s exactly why men are in the positions we’re in today. It starts at home.

“That’s progressive.”

“Oh, congratulations on the cover, big dawg.”

“Appreciate it.” Shit, that dress is fitting. It damn near looks like it was sewn onto her.

“Photos?” Our group photo was short lived. It turned into just a couple of shots between Sarai and I as Chad’s talkative nature continued to be in full swing as he stepped off inches away to throw himself into a conversation with someone else. I’m sure the Don Julio he’s drinking is playing a major part in it as well.

“What are you doing?” She spoke through clenched teeth and slowly withdrew my arm from her waistline. The professional distance returned and her eyebrows furrowed.

“Talking. Is that a crime?”

“You already know this cannot happen.”

“What can’t happen?” I closed the gap. Her enthralling scent worsened the tightening in my throat.

“Beckham.”

“Beckham? Stop playing with me.” A smirk danced along my lips. I didn’t expect her to be tenser than I am, and yet here we are.

“I’m not playing.”

“I can’t speak to my favorite sports analyst at a GQ party? I’m not asking you to kiss me or anything like that, although I’d like to. It’s just a conversation. So, today you mentioned something about the Celtics possibly being able to win the Eastern Conference Finals? We both know that’s a lie.”

“What I said was, the Celtics have a better bench than Lebron’s Cavs do, which may give them an advantage to apply some pleasure. I never said they were going to win. Lebron is still Lebron at the end of the day. I’ve always said for as long as he’s in the east, he’ll be the King of the East. The whole entire conference has to go through him to make it to the finals and it hasn’t happened the last seven years. It’s not likely to happen this time around either. This will be his last year in Cleveland though. I firmly stand by that.”

“I doubt it.”

“Reputable sources are telling me otherwise.”

“Ah. There’s that source word that all sports reporters love to throw around. Who exactly do ya’ll be speaking to? I’m starting to believe that it’s a word used to make a story sound like it has more validity to it, but ultimately, there’s no truth behind it.” I can’t stand whenever something is either quoted as coming directly from me and I never said it or when an analyst claims to have spoken to someone within my camp. My question is always; who the fuck is this person? I have good standing relationships with a few, who are able to reach out for with questions or for information that I may or may not want to share, but with those that I don’t? The source word instantly rubs me the wrong way.

“My source is Lebron, himself. Any other questions? I’ve built up enough repertoire within the industry to be able to have close connections like that.”

“Any NFL close connections?”

“I know a few agents and people throughout certain front offices.”

“Any players?”

“Nope.”

“None at all?” My snicker wasn’t condescending. I really am amused.

“Nope.”

“Didn’t look like it to me just a couple of minutes ago.”

“He claimed to be a fan just like you did. I’m sure the woman who’s been sitting alongside you tonight and who is also currently waiting for you in that same spot, is just a fan too, right?”

“She’s no one.”

“Oh okay. Well you and no one have a goodnight.”

She left me with no chance to respond. I knew not to follow her as she made her way to the bar, despite the extreme urge to do so.

For the first time, in a long time, I feel like a lost boy who doesn’t know what it takes to get the full attention of the girl I like. These are the conversations I’ve never had with my father. He’s never stopped living the glorified college days when it comes to how he conducts himself with women. He and my mother split before I could ever remember them being together and every woman he’s been with since then have felt like temporary fixtures within his life who he bailed out on right after they birthed him sons. As soon as I was drafted, I’ve sensed how he vicariously lives through me and with that has its moments of bad advice. I can’t share this with him. He wouldn’t know what to do with it. Like any man trying to navigate life, I’m just going to have to figure out as I go.

“Shit, it’s fucking cold.” The mumble followed the chattering of my teeth as I stood at the top of the steps. Sarai left the party about a half an hour before I did and she did so alone. She left Chad to continue to be the life of his section and slipped out of the door without much hassle or notice. It was up to me to get Ben’s drunk ass home and he passed out on the couch after raiding the fridge for left over siracha hot wings that’ll definitely have his stomach fucked up in the morning.

“It’s two thirty in the morning.” And yet she hasn’t removed anything with the exception of the pumps she wore on her feet. Everything is still as perfectly placed as it was when my eyes first landed on her some hours ago.

“Well, good morning.”

“Only booty calls and police show at people’s doors this time of the morning.” While she leaned against the doorpost, I used the top of her banister for support. Though I haven’t been standing out here very long, there’s a slight ache in my ankle that’s only intensifying the more I stand on it.

“I’ll be whichever one you want me to be. Either way, it sounds like a good time waiting to happen.” I had to. She walked right into it. Despite how hard she tried not to; she couldn’t help but to join me in chuckling.

“What’s in the box?”

“A gift for you.”

“It’s not my birthday.”

“I know.”

“It’s not Christmas either.”

“I know.”

“So, what’s the occasion?”

“I like you.”

Her head tilted and in the earthy hues of her brown eyes held parts of her story that I’ve yet to explore but will need to. There’s nothing malevolent or malignant and instead a purity that needs to be safeguarded at all costs. People go on and on about pretty blue eyes or alluring green ones, but there’s something about the deep chocolate of Sarai’s that’s unrivaled in beauty. Maybe it’s the glimmer or the way her lashes flutter whenever she blinks. Maybe it’s the way they tease you with bits of her soul and tells you her thoughts without her ever having to say anything to you. They twinkle like the brightest star and yet have a depth that seems to lead to a heaven that I can only wish to be a part of. I want to know and be a part of all of her.

“And it’s Thanksgiving Eve, technically. So, I’m thankful for you too. Is that a good enough reason?”

“It’ll due.” She finally stepped aside to grant me entry into her home and I walked along the hall I became familiar with when I spent the night here. Though my house trumps her in sizing, it doesn’t stand a chance in a battle with hers when it comes to the décor. Sarai’s place looks like something out of an interior design catalog and the fact that she did it all herself makes it all the more impressive. While it seems to be far too much space for someone living alone, it fits her and is representative of what she deserves. Plus, she has an elevator. I’m slightly jealous of that. I’ve been crawling up and down the steps in my house for two months now.

“You haven’t changed your clothes or anything. What were you doing?”

“Watching Shameless. I’m behind a couple of seasons. I’m trying to catch up, but I never have the time to binge watch anything.”

“Shameless?”

“It’s a show about a fucked up family, with fucked up friends and neighbors, living in the southside of Chicago. Everyone on the show ain’t shit.”

“In a funny way or a super deep way?”

“Both.” I placed the Chanel box on the coffee table. Rather than sitting on the love seat, I lifted her legs, took a seat on the end of the sofa, and placed them over my lap. “Where are your crutches?”

“I don’t need them anymore.”

“You should still elevate it and be careful with the pressure.”

“I will, nurse.”

“Good.” She’s gotten so used me calling her that, that she plays right into it now.

“At the party, you saw Jasmine sitting next me. We were never in a relationship but we did have something going on at one point. It’s been over for a while. I haven’t even seen her in months. So, when I say that she’s no one, I mean it.”

“Did you think I was jealous? You don’t have to clarify that with me. It’s okay. I’m not against you being around other women.” I’m not even sure how to take that.

“I didn’t think you were jealous.” She had no reason to be.

“At some point, this faze that you’re going through when it comes to myself is going to fizzle away, and you’re going to want some normalcy in terms of a connection with a woman. So, you should continue to mingle with other women, so that your options are there when you do head in that direction.” My eyes lowered at her words

“This faze?”

“You and I can never be normal. We’re literally stuck at a standstill with our emotions being the only aspect of it that can go beyond this. This is what we have; random middle of the night visits and text messages. We’re something no one can know about. You want that?”

“I want you.”

“In this way? At a standstill? As a dark secret?”

“In every way.”

I drew her left leg over and lean over to meddle myself between her thighs. Our kiss was potent as our warm builds meshed together. The weight of her worries ceased and the potential disappointment budding within me was no more. She drew me closer to defy her own words and laced the leg I was once holding around my waist in a fury identical to mine.

“I want a fair chance, Sarai.” The warmth of her lips delicately grazed my neck sending my head into a spiral.

“Beckham, it doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes sense.” Why is she the only one who my instincts can accept? The only one who makes sense.

“There are rules.”

“Rewrite them, with me.”

Her gaze held mine and yet there was no hesitance or regret. She had no words for me. Her lips were what affirmed her willingness to take this journey with me.

#odell beckham jr fanfic #odell beckham fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic

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Dental care Tips - Overcoming Your unfounded fear of the Dentist

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Talk to your current dentist! The universal guideline to follow would be to usually express your issues along with needs. Your dentist is not a telepathic, he cannot go through your thoughts. By conveying your own personal worries, your dental office can adjust his exercise great approach to your personal appointment, which means you feel much more comfortable and in effects of the situation while becoming handled.

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Ask Questions! Within order to get more comfortable with your dentist, you obtained in order to trust them. Your own dental practitioner should be capable to answer all often the questions you have from all of them, from simple duties in order to taking care of your own teeth, to be able to explaining inside detail every stage connected with a more complicated process.

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Relax! It's important which you take time to relax as well as clear the mind before the dental visit. If you are searching for you to reduce your fear associated with the dental office, this is definitely the right approach. If you are scheduling a dentist visit, set it for early morning. It's best to routine for the early morning, that will way the stress in which comes with during the relax of the day does not scare you away coming from entering your dental scheduled appointment.

Through practicing and making use of these guidelines when going to help the dentist, there are plenty of proceeding to the dentist a lot more approachable than actually before. You want in order to leave the particular dentist sensation awesome, certainly not frightened 1 / 2 to demise.

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theinquisitivej · 5 years

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A Quartet of Reviews: Missing Link, Pet Semetary, Shazam!, and Hellboy (2019)

Missing Link

As the technical accomplishments and detailed beauty of Laika’s stop-motion films are part of the reason I’ve chosen to study stop-motion animation for my current academic research, you’ll forgive me if I approach their fifth film with some bias. Plus, box office numbers suggest that a lot more people really should be seeing these, so the more voices there are singing Laika’s praises the better, frankly.

Missing Link is notably ambitious in that it strives to deliver an action adventure in the vein of Around the World in 80 Days or The Mummy (the Brendan Fraser one, not the “DARK UNIVERSE” one- yes, that did happen, and it is hard to remember), with multiple thrilling and complex action sequences, all in stop-motion. Given the labour-intensive nature of stop-motion and the limitations you’d typically expect of a medium that’s executed through real models that have a weight and substance to them that makes them less flexibly fluid than cel or digital animation, stories with an emphasis on dynamic action aren’t what you’d typically expect when it comes to stop-motion. And yet Laika demonstrate their full commitment to making Missing Link an energetic blockbuster through impressive choreography and painstakingly realised action set-pieces. While the charming characters and light-hearted tone help you stay engaged with the narrative, you’ll be constantly taken back by the seamless merging of traditional methods and modern technology in the animation which makes you sit up and take notice as you wonder how they managed to put together each scene. The best use of digital effects are the times where you’re not entirely certain it’s even there, and Laika’s approach to this modern tool definitely fits in that category.

The film never quite reaches a point of emotional intensity that leaves me completely floored, as some of Laika’s previous films have managed to do. I didn’t walk away from the film remembering a moment where a character’s vulnerabilities are laid bare or a difficult but essential lesson is imparted in the most brutally earnest way. So, when compared against ParaNorman or Kubo and the Two Strings, Missing Link left less emotional impact on me. Having said that, the film still conveys numerous themes effectively through key story beats and striking visuals, with its central thesis being the importance of learning empathy towards others, and that you shouldn’t seek validation from close-minded proponents of outdated and toxic principles. As such, through a combination of entertaining characters with likable personality, an emphasis on globetrotting action, its refreshingly positive outlook, and tremendous animation on both the large and the small-scale across the board, Missing Link is a delightful adventure that you should make a point of seeing.

Final Ranking: Silver.

Boasting charm, an infectious sense of humour, and perhaps the best action I’ve seen in a stop-motion film, Missing Link absolutely meets the standard of quality that you’d expect from a Laika production.

Pet Semetary

As many other people discussing this film have noted, Pet Semetary is a Stephen King story that’s notable for being so bleak that even Stephen King felt it was too dark. He hesitated to submit it for publishing for three years, only submitting it when he needed to meet a deadline for a contract. In the subsequent years, King has been critical of the “nothing matters” mentality of the story. With that in mind, as well as the knowledge that several people I follow whose opinions on film I trust were not fond of it, I was prepared for the possibility that I wouldn't enjoy it, but nevertheless open to the film surprising me. After all, Stephen King is a consistently entertaining storyteller, and I’m always interested to see how people adapt his work. For a while, things seemed okay enough. Then it started to drag around the middle, and then it took a hard, fast, ugly turn, descending into the most distasteful experience I’ve had in a cinema this year.

As that summary indicates, the set-up is intriguing enough. A family move into a new home, and there are little signs that things aren’t quite right around here, as well as the telltale indications of a traumatic past that have left some of the characters with residual hang-ups that they will inevitably be forced to confront, and the tantalising promise of something unnatural on the horizon that will draw our protagonists in as they descend into horror. It’s competent ground laying work, and apart from the horrifying past of one of the character’s being uncomfortably demonising of the sick, and a lack of a distinctive visual style for the film to call its own, I didn’t have many serious issues with the first third or so.

Once you approach the middle portion of the film, things start to feel protracted. Even if you haven’t seen a trailer or heard the gist of this story and have a decent idea about the trajectory of its narrative, there comes a point where you start to know exactly where things are heading. Discussions of death and what may or may not come afterwards, repeated reminders of how dangerous and unexpected high-speed vehicles on the road outside their house can be, and allusions to some unknowable force that can make impossible things happen which the father of this family absolutely must not approach are all dots that anyone familiar with the phrase “monkey’s paw” can join together with little difficulty. Without an engaging dynamic between characters (a la IT), a self-aware bizarreness that results in humour, or a notable visual style, there’s little to keep you going as you wait for pieces to very, very slowly fall into place.

And the final act is just awful. It spits course language and nihilistic vitriol with little substance or point to its depictions of pain, misery, and spitefulness other than to wallow in this negativity with nothing else to say. Actors start to abandon any semblance of understated nuance in favour of ham-fisted bluntness, cursing out characters with an intensity that doesn’t feel earned as they clumsily fight against them in a way that lacks any sense of climactic satisfaction, and, because your investment in these characters rapidly drains with each new questionable decision and unlikable action, there’s no tension to these encounters either. There are numerous instances where the actors will do their best to deliver lines of dialogue that try to be shocking or wryly dark, but the material is so poorly thought out that it awkwardly misses the mark in both categories. It’s especially galling as the film spent so much time and effort on getting to this conclusion that it was trying to amp up as this big, horrifying finale that will shake you, when instead it’s just underwhelming and unpleasant without any purpose to itself. I was wishing for it to end, and yet when the credits began to roll, I couldn’t help but ask “wait, is that it?” It’s a limp ending with little meaning that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Final Ranking: Cardboard.

Pet Semetary’s first act offers some potential, but that’s all it is: potential. The middle act spends so long getting to where it needs to be and where the audience knows it’s going that, by the time it gets there, it spends what little time it has left on cruel, structureless nihilism without taking any ownership for the unpleasant material it lays down at your feet.

Shazam!

The DC movies are in a great place right now. I’ve yet to see James Wan’s Aquaman, but from the abundance of positive things I hear about it, as well as the profound impact Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman had on audiences, James Gunn and a whole lot of appealing casting choices being attached to the next Suicide Squad film, and the great feelings I have about the energy that the Birds of Prey teaser indicated, I’m very optimistic about the future of DC films. Now that Shazam! has released and proved to be a positively uplifting delight, my outlook on this series is cheerier than ever!

Hm? What about that Joaquin Phoenix Joker movie? Well... my feelings towards that are… complicated. I’ll save my thoughts on it for another time, but suffice to say, I think the film has the potential to be great, but I worry about the way it will be received, and that the worst crowd will embrace it and take the wrong lessons from it.

Anyway, for the here and now, Shazam is a refreshing blend of joyous levity and unexpected intensity. The film offers endearing comedy with teens and pre-teens acting like excited kids who enjoy doing dopey things but can still come across as insightful and having an emotional heart to them that makes you happy to spend time with them. But it’s never saccharine and, through a fleshed out script and a cast of sharp young actors and actresses, there’s a clear sense of authenticity which makes these adolescent characters seem grounded and well-observed. Something I appreciated is that, whenever the film goes into background details of the history of magic in this world, grandiose prophecies of mystical destinies, or the villain going into his sinister plans, it’s usually being talked about by grown adults who are taking themselves way too seriously. The best exemplar of this is Mark Strong who plays the villain, Dr. Sivana, with an intensity that deliberately comes across as hammy, and the young characters within the film pick up on this and play off him in a way that deflates his bluster and points out how ridiculous he’s being. As a result, the tone of Shazam! feels like it’s poking good-natured fun at prior DC projects and other big budget action blockbusters where stone faced adults spout clichéd speeches without any sense of self-awareness. It’s an approach that points out how some modes of behaviour that are often associated with maturity and being an adult are actually quite childish when you take a step back. As a superhero film that focuses on the experience of being the age where you’re young enough that you still enjoy being a kid, but old enough that you want to call adults out on their bullshit, Shazam! is impressively realised and fun as hell.

But for as light-hearted as it can be, Shazam! nevertheless surprises you with the occasional brutal sequence that catches you off guard with such rapidity that I found it relatively shocking. It’s not so detailed, gory, or explicit enough that I’d say it goes too far, but it’s worth bearing in mind before you show it to a particularly young and impressionable viewer. The benefit of these sequences is that the unexpected escalation accentuates how in over his head Billy is when he eventually comes across a situation that’s genuinely dangerous, as, despite his newfound powers, he is still a kid, and he really shouldn’t be facing this kind of thing. Indeed, the film demonstrates an impressive grasp of and dedication towards themes of maturity as Billy faces difficult truths about something he thought he wanted and realises he’s been looking in the wrong place for what he actually craves, as well as develops into a more responsible version of himself that opens up to being part of a group built on mutual trust. There’s a cleverly subtle visual indication of the progress Billy has made by the end of the film where he remembers to lower his head as he walks through a door while in his superpowered adult form. One of the first things Billy does when he first transforms is hit his head on a train door to show how unused he is to this new body. The simple act of Billy seeing the doorframe and lowering his head as he steps through without any hesitation near the end of the film signifies the control Billy has developed over himself and his own actions, making his journey of maturation resonate that much more with me. The impact of shocking dark turns and the firm, confident grasp the film has on its cohesive themes of maturation and finding your place in life elevates Shazam! from a fun time to an uplifting and refreshing story that I think people are going to really enjoy for a long while.

Final Ranking: Silver.

Energetic, full of character, and with a strongly executed theme of maturation, Shazam! is highly recommended. It is perhaps a little longer than it needs to be, which results in the latter parts of the middle section feeling a little drawn out. Having said that, the finale sends a jolt of electricity through you that makes you forget any objections you might have and remember all the positive qualities that make this film so likable.

Hellboy (2019)

Oof… why did I decide to end this collection of reviews on Hellboy (2019) and write this after three other sections? Sigh… okay, let’s get this over with.

It would be insincere of me to say I'm the most impassioned proponent of the Guillermo del Toro Hellboy films. I found them memorable and atmospheric, and you could certainly feel the characteristic flair from the many people that put their artistic touch on those films to create something unique that marked them out from other comicbook movies, which is especially impressive in the mid-2000s, pre Iron Man era. But after going through the slog that is Hellboy (2019), I think I’m more appreciative than ever of what del Toro and his team managed to achieve.

For a while, it seemed like this new R-rated version of Hellboy was angling for a more faithful adaptation of the original books by Mike Mignola, given the various interviews that were had about it over the years. Sadly, the final result feels like the result of too many outside influences dictating what the film should feature, culminating in a hodgepodge of a film which regurgitates character beats from the del Toro films, and rapidly stitches together a half-hearted attempt at a King Arthur narrative to fill in the requisite new material (this is your regular reminder to check out The Kid Who Would Be King, a much better modern reinterpretation of Arthurian lore). The presentation is dour, unenthusiastic, and lacks any atmosphere or personality, and that is something you could never accuse either the Mignola books or the del Toro films of lacking. In the whole film, there are only two sequences that stand out, namely the fight with the three giants and the rampage of the hell creatures in London. Even so, the former is a relatively meaningless sequence that contributes very little to the narrative and lifts right out of the film, while the latter is so sadistic and mean spirited that it made me genuinely uncomfortable. It falls flat as both an adaptation of a beloved fictional series that’s brimming with atmosphere, and as a piece of technical filmmaking as well.

On top of that, when the tone and general philosophy of the film does emerge out from under the rest of the film’s mediocrity, it reveals itself to be genuinely unpleasant. The film opens with narration that rushes through the backstory with Nimue and the Arthurian set-up and does so with foul-mouthed irreverence. There is a bit of humour to someone casually tossing in the odd bit of shitty language as they tell you about ancient history that should be discussed with pomp and circumstance but is instead being discussed with ill-fitting coarseness. However, there needs to be some personality to go along with it, otherwise it’s implied that the swearing is the character and all that’s there to it. In the case of this opening narration, Ian McShane emphasises each fucking swearword and it becomes clear that the dialogue is using this as a crutch in an effort to make the film seem like it has an identity as this edgy superhero movie that’s different because it swears. It’s a juvenile approach that is laughable when you consider how effortless Ryan Reynolds’ delivery in each Deadpool movie has been, which demonstrates how swearing can be used to accentuate genuinely funny jokes and characters, rather acting as the joke in and of itself.

And this isn’t even the most egregious part of the film either, it’s simply a bad first impression. The worst aspect of the film’s outlook is how virtually every character espouses the notion that you should stop complaining, stop letting things get to or affect you, and stop taking time to process things. This is especially saddening when Hellboy’s father, a character that was played with wonderful vulnerability and heart-aching humanity by the late great John Hurt, tells Hellboy to “grow some balls” and get on with things, making the emotional culmination of their time together on screen essentially boil down to ‘quit your bitching’. Characters in Hellboy (2019) show next to no empathy towards one another, and they continually reinforce the story’s outlook which, whether inadvertently or not, nevertheless encourages a state of being where you never have time to be open or vulnerable with the people around you. It’s profoundly disheartening to watch, and gives little to no thematic or visual sustenance to get you through a runtime that feels far too long.

Final Ranking: Manure.

David Harbour does an admirable job in the lead role and I was happy to at least have a protagonist in this film that captures the gruff sadness and down-to-earth affability of the character of Hellboy. But he’s drowning in limiting makeup and an even more stifling movie that has no visual flair and a boring, miserable narrative. The experience of watching this movie is draining and deflating, and I hope to never revisit it.

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harmonerin1993 · 4 years

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What Is Bacterial Vaginosis Unbelievable Ideas

This infection is associated but have not been clinically proven yet.So avoid sex for both genders of course but that's where it can clear up on a life plagued by this infection.If you leave bacterial vaginosis has been used for curing the said treatment.BV is not a life threatening illness, you could eliminate.

This way, in case the pH level of awareness and understanding how antibiotics work but it is true and they allow proper circulation of air in the olden days simply depend on how to get out of balance.Vitamins such as vegetables, grains, flax seed, fresh water, grains and water.Men usually do not exhibit symptoms, but it works by getting more serious ailments.Touching the preparation with hands could contaminate them.That's everything, including all of them will have recurrence within a few hours.

Most of the bacterial vaginosis home remedy for vaginosis is caused by bad bacteria.Try taking probiotics to increase your Folic Acid for 5 minutes or soIn fact, this infection include an additional one of the vaginal area as a metallic taste in the vagina.Consume 2 liters of water and soak in it to fight off the bacteria, the good bacteria will not worsen.In fact, it is very useful bacterial vaginosis herbal remedies which are associated with BV look like that of a cure.

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The plant's bark is a fungal infection while BV was when a woman first experiences the symptoms of BV then you should avoid excessive vaginal discharge.This extract too, must never let boric acid diluted to warm bath to stay away from antibiotics as a lot of women, as a result of an extremely difficult condition to seek proper diagnosis or perhaps treatment for vaginosis.It its not uncommon for women suffering from BV?To defeat this infection stems from the symptoms are similar doesn't mean that you can dip a tampon in natural yoghurt and grapeseed extract - but like all bacteria within the vagina.The best change I made use for treating this condition.

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Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Bleeding During Pregnancy

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It too can cure something that is involved.Three of the serious complications of bacterial vaginosis.In order to be an utterly foolish thing to start the treatment of BV.Herbs have been used for douching, grape fruit extract is a bacterial imbalance.There have been unable to stop feeling negative emotions as a bacterial vaginosis that are proven to be performed and involves the use of over the counter products which contain anti-bacterial properties.

Bacterial Vaginosis Metrogel Dosing

The reason the problem here is the use of garlic.Bacterial Vaginosis is not very useful way for you to be increased and the results from clinical trials would suggest that the condition in the genital area of the natural approach and certain conditions so as keep it clean by washing it 2-3 times a day it helps to understand that because the PH on the vagina and a cure.In some cases, BV will have deeper impact on few while other's body react differently altogether.Over the counter treatments and antibiotics.You will discover that the disease contagious?

For a while during sexual intercourse or urination.Once the course of antibiotics, but they do not get constipated.Conventional medicines do not see any significant improvement within 3-4 days of use.The most common symptom is basically the same job for almost all of the sufferings you will keep with this mixture to wash your vagina less acidic.Secondly, you can help replenish depleted supplies of good bacteria to keep the area excessively may cause this poorly understood vaginosis.

#What Is Bacterial Vaginosis Unbelievable Ideas #I Cured My Bacterial Vaginosis With Boric Acid

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webbygraphic001 · 4 years

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When Does Emotional Design Cross a Line?

Designing for emotion in and of itself is not a problem. Websites are bound to elicit an emotional reaction from visitors, even if it’s as simple as them feeling at ease because of the soft, pastel color palette you’ve designed the site with.

I don’t want to outright villainize emotional design. Unless there is some form of unethical manipulation at play, designing for your visitors’ emotions can actually provide them with a more positive experience.

So, here’s what I’d like to look at today:

What is emotional design?

When does emotional design cross a line?

What’s the right way to design for emotions?

1. What Is Emotional Design?

When we look at emotional design in the context of a website, we’re focused on three types of emotional reactions:

a. Visceral Reactions

Visceral reactions are instinctive ones. Usually, visitors experience these as their first impressions of a website or web page. For instance, a cluttered or otherwise poorly designed homepage might leave visitors feeling overwhelmed, hesitant, or wanting to flea.

A minimally designed homepage interface, on the other hand, might have visitors not feeling much of a reaction at all. In this case, no feeling is a good feeling.

Like Irene Au said:

Design is like a refrigerator. When it works, no one notices. When it doesn’t, it stinks!

— Irene Au (@ireneau) February 14, 2015

b. Behavioral Reactions

Behavioral reactions stem from the usability of a website. There’s a lot that can stir up negative emotions here, like:

Extra-long contact forms

Confusing menus

Error-ridden content

Slow-loading pages

And more

Again, if a website is easy to get through and attractively designed, visitors aren’t likely going to “ooh” and “aah” with every step they take on the site. And that’s a good thing. If they’re focusing more on how the design looks, they’re not paying attention to the brand’s actual offer.

c. Reflective Reactions

Reflective reactions are the third type of emotions we design for.

This is complicated because there’s a lot wrapped up in how visitors feel about a website after the fact. Sometimes the most well-designed interfaces and experiences can’t save them from a bad experience, whether they realized too late that the products were overpriced or they were treated poorly by a live chat representative.

As a web designer, all you can really do is to make sure you’re working with reputable companies and then aligning the designs of their sites with their values.

When Does Emotional Design Cross a Line?

There’s already enough social pressure online; your website doesn’t need to be one of those places, too

Emotional design shouldn’t be about manipulating consumers’ emotions. In most cases, emotional design is about controlling the environment of the website so that emotions don’t go spinning wildly out of control — in either direction.

It’s when we take what we know about influencing someone’s emotional state to monetarily benefit from it that emotional design becomes problematic.

Here are some ways in which you might negatively impact the emotions of your visitors through design:

FOMO

The fear-of-missing-out isn’t always a bad marketing strategy. However, when FOMO is used for the purposes of rushing consumers to take action now and without time to really think it through, it definitely can be.

Chances are good they’ll feel badly no matter what. Either because they regret the rushed (and probably unnecessary, or expensive) decision or they blame themselves for missing out on an opportunity to be like everyone else.

There’s already enough social pressure online; your website doesn’t need to be one of those places, too. So, be careful with how you present customers with limits (on time, on products, etc.) or how you frame the call-to-action (“If you don’t buy this now, expect to fail/be miserable/suffer even more”).

Analysis Paralysis

It doesn’t matter why people specifically seek out your website. They have a problem or a hole in their life, and they’re looking for something to fix it.

Now, you can’t help it if the website has too much to offer in the way of options or solutions. Companies have to provide every possible solution/option so their users don’t feel like they have to go somewhere else to get what they need. However, the way you design these options can lead to a negative emotional state if you’re not careful.

For instance, your visitors might experience analysis paralysis, where there are so many options that it becomes impossible to take action. Similar to FOMO, this can lead to regret either with the decision they made or the one they were incapable of making.

By simplifying how many choices are presented at once, or designing a clear and supportive pathway to the right option of many, your website will leave visitors feeling much more positively about the whole experience.

Trendy Nostalgia

Nostalgia can be a great way to play upon the positive associations and emotions consumers feel towards an era gone by or a place they once knew. But, again, it depends on how you design with it.

For example, if you design a vintage website for an agency launched in 2019 and run by a group of 20-somethings, it might come off feeling disingenuous once customers start to catch on.

For a restaurant known as the oldest bar in the state, that would be a different story. That nostalgically designed website would be a real part of its story; not just done as a sales gimmick. As a result, customers would likely embrace those warm feelings for the “good ol’ days” they get from the website.

Also, think about how quickly nostalgia fades if it’s done to align with a trend. Unless you’re committed to redesigning a website the second that nostalgic feeling falls out of favor, you could be condemning your client to an outdated website mere months after launch.

What’s the Right Way to Design for Emotions?

Like I said before, there’s nothing wrong with designing for emotions. You just have to make sure your website visitors don’t feel manipulated and that they welcome the pleasant feelings the site gives them.

make sure your website visitors don’t feel manipulated

It might seem harmless at the time. After all, what are they doing on the site if they weren’t interested in the first place? And it’s not like they were bullied into spending their money, right?

But if they sense in any way that their response was driven by an emotion they wouldn’t have otherwise felt, they’re not going to be happy. While it might not be enough for them to cancel their subscription or services, or to return products they bought, it will definitely leave a bad taste in their mouth. And, ultimately, it can cost your website loyal visitors and customers.

So, if you’re going to use emotional design on a website, do it to improve their experience, not to put more money into your clients’ pockets. That means your emotional design choices need to be honest, transparent, and focused on eliciting naturally positive emotions like:

Satisfaction

Feeling impressed

Trust

Calm

Feeling valued

Go back to the three emotional reactions I brought up earlier. If you can design a website to give off a positive first impression, and to be pain-free and usable, you can spend the rest of your time injecting small bits of happiness and positivity into the website with color choices, friendly micro-interactions, personalized content, and more.

Featured image via Unsplash.

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wesleybates · 4 years

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How To Develop A Great Digital Brand With An Appealing Brand Voice

From your emails to social media captions, blog posts and infographics, how your brand’s voice comes across will either encourage or deter your users from interacting with your company again.

You may have had one of those terrible experiences where you call a customer service line and find a rather unpleasant person on the other end. Or maybe you were checking out of Whole Foods and the cashier was speaking to you with an attitude.

Either one of these scenarios would probably leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. And more so, it would deter you from wanting to return to that company because of that negative experience. That’s why a brand’s voice is so important.

Although in-person interactions like the two above are few and far between for eCommerce brands, how you speak to your customers and how your brand comes across via the internet matters!

This blog post will teach you the importance of a brand voice in the digital age and how to build a brand strategy to develop an appealing brand voice.

What Is a Brand Voice?

First and foremost, what is a brand’s voice?

A brand’s voice is how your brand is viewed and perceived by users through your content. It’s how your brand comes across when it communicates with your audience via the internet, print, and in some cases, in-person. But today, we’re strictly talking digital.

As an example of a brand voice, let’s take two fashion brands: Supreme and Nike. If both brands tweeted the words, “New line dropping tonight,” the way that Tweet would be perceived and internalized by users across the internet would be starkly different. Although both brands offer largely the same thing—clothing—that one Tweet has completely different implications for the brands and users alike.

For instance, Supreme has created a brand voice for itself that reads as exclusive and luxurious. Nike has created a brand voice for itself that is very much inclusive and accessible.

While both these brands simply offer clothing for consumers, how these brands are perceived are extremely different?

Through their content.

Each piece of their content, whether it be an email newsletter, a social media page or even the copy on their website, goes into their brand voice. In fact, this kind of branding pays off, as content marketing efforts receive 3x the leads per dollar spent over a paid search.

If this kind of branding seems too far out of your reach, consider looking into a digital marketing agency such as Aumcore that offers brand identity services so you can take your company to the next level.

Unique Brand Examples and Influencer Comments

In order to better understand how to develop a great digital brand, let’s take a look at some companies who are currently killing it with their digital branding.

These brand voice examples will show you how to develop a flexible brand voice that will cater to your specific audience’s needs.

Zola

Zola is an online wedding registry, planner and retailer. Their digital branding is all things love. From the soft color palette to the inviting website copy, all of it makes you feel like you’re speaking to an old friend.

Zola has a distinct brand voice that is consistent throughout its website. Even their social content speaks to their company slogan that their team and company will do anything for love. Overall, Zola’s copy is a clear demonstration of the importance of a brand voice.

Proof Collective

Still, in its early stages, Proof Collective was founded on the principles of necessity and sustainability. These clothing items are sustainable and ethically sourced and will last a lifetime.

From their clothing designs to the copy describing their process, Proof Collective has already mastered its brand design tone of voice by incorporating their core values into every aspect of their digital presence: Simplicity without sacrificing quality.

Girlboss

Girlboss has blown up in the past couple of years since its inception and creation by Sophia Amoruso. What first began as a title to her book, Girlboss became a brand for all women to acknowledge and own their own power.

From book to a media company, this platform was created so women would have a place to learn, connect and inspire one another. Girlboss has become such a powerful brand that #girlboss has been used over 16.3 million times on Instagram alone.

Their branding can be seen with the strong language they use across the website and in their social media copy. Their brand voice presentation is also apparent in their bold, statement typography and strong design choices across their digital presence.

Each of these three brand identity examples brings something different to the table. Zola’s content shows you that by creating blog posts with a colloquial voice, you can make users feel more comfortable about tackling the messiness that comes with a wedding.

Proof Collective shows you that great branding can be a result of your values. And Girlboss shows you that by writing with strong language and opening up about issues, you can make your audience feel like they can conquer the world.

They each show you a different way you can use a copy of your site, socials or blogs to relate and speak to your audience. Put best by Neil Patel,

If you produce free and helpful content for your target market, they will engage with you, spread your message, and probably even buy from you.

Tips on How to Develop a Great Brand Voice

In order to develop your company’s brand voice, we’ll go over the points you and your team should go over to create and recognize what brand identity elements are and, ultimately, how you want to portray your brand online.

According to Michelle Linn of Content Marketing Institute,

Content marketing takes a lot of work, persistence, and patience – it’s not for everyone. But, it can be an ideal approach if you truly want to provide a better experience for your customers while making a positive impact on the business in terms of its perception and its bottom line.

Your investment of effort will bring you a positive ROI. Let’s see how this is done:

Audience Research

Get a better understanding of who your audience is. Answer questions like what their age range is, what milestones they are currently going through in life, what their education level is, their geographic location, occupation, etc. This will help you determine how your brand can relate to your users apart from your company’s products and services.

Competitor Analysis

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Learn about your competitors, what their brand voices are and the tones they use. Is there something that inspires you? Or maybe there’s something you know your business can do better? Don’t be afraid to swim in those waters and figure it out!

Color Palette and Design

Different colors evoke different emotions. Determine the kind of mood you want to set with your color palette and design when your users go to your website or social pages.

Tone of Voice and Language

Do you want to sound austere or silly? Do you want users to read your content in a happy tone of voice, or would you rather have them take a more serious tone with your brand?

Try and hone in on the kind of personality your brand should embody on the internet, then support it with the language your brand uses in its digital presence. Are you the kind of brand that curses on social media? Or do you keep everything in a suit and tie? It’s up to you to decide.

Company Values

What does your company stand for? Increasingly in today’s world, big businesses and small businesses alike are coupling their business objectives with a cause. Consider donating proceeds to a specific charity or associating your brand with a philanthropic cause and promoting it.

Show your users that you care about what they care about and incorporate that into your branding.

Prepare a Strategy

Once you’ve done all the leg work, prepare a strategy. Sit down with your development team, account executives and marketing team to make the magic happen!

Be sure everyone has a clear understanding of the colors, tone of voice and language to use when creating content for your brand.

Branding Guidelines

Create a set of guidelines; a list of the do’s and don’ts for all your employees so they know how to stay on brand. From emails to online chats, from infographics to blog posts, make it easy and simple for anyone in your company to follow.

Key Takeaways

Hopefully, we’ve answered all your brand voice questions and you can now begin to create a stellar brand voice of your own. Your brand is your company’s reputation, it’s what you want to be known as and known for. Crafting your brand’s voice will turn you from just another company into something unique that can only be experienced by association with your business.

Here are the key takeaways of our discussion today one more time:

A brand’s voice is how your brand is viewed and perceived by users through your content

Different companies can provide different examples for how to communicate your brand’s voice

Developing a great brand voice take’s time and is a process your team should invest in because the return will truly be worthwhile

Good luck!

We’re the top Web Developers in Denver, CO for a reason. We build gorgeous, intuitive websites with fluid user experiences, and it all starts with a custom web design. We want to build you a website that is more than pretty pictures on a screen.

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watchandtalk · 7 years

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Blade Runner (1982)

It's been a while since I've updated this blog! In celebration of the release of Blade Runner 2049, I'm going to provide my own (very) personal review of the original Blade Runner (1982) film:

It sucked, and I hate it!＊

＊This is obviously my personal opinion, and I am not hailing it as an objective truth. I also need to point out that I am heavily biased toward the book (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick). I am also completely aware that the film is a loose adaptation of the book, but I will address this further on.

I very rarely ‘hate’ films – it is an intense word, after all. After years of being force-fed overanalyses in high school, however, I feel that the film warrants this. The thing is that in high school, English teachers will tell you that it’s ‘okay to have your own opinion of the film!’ before going on to inspect every little detail that points toward it being a literary masterpiece. Then they go on to say that your opinion must be founded – without offering any advice for analysing it from a negative perspective. Here I am to say that it is indeed entirely possible to both effectively analyse the techniques used as well as show that a film (in this case, Blade Runner) is completely and utterly terrible!

I summed it up quite nicely after very recently (within the past hour) watching Blade Runner with my family in the hopes of inspiring hype for the sequel: Blade Runner is a good film, but a terrible story.

The film:

Good symbolism – the use of animal associations for the Replicants in order to accentuate their inhumanness; the unicorn, as well as the origami; color; motifs associated with implanted memories (phrases, sounds of children’s laughter); fire (a la Prometheus);

The noir feeling – I personally am not a fan of the genre, but the pacing, soundtrack, general atmosphere of the film and the theatricality of the interactions, so to speak, represent the genre well;

You know the rest – intertextual references (Paradise Lost, if I’m recalling correctly; the parable of the prodigal son); world building referencing the context of the film, that being increasing globalisation and the mixing of cultures; Tyrell being short-sighted despite his ‘visionary’ status and the shortness of the Replicant lifespan... I could go on, but that would involve searching for my high school English notebook, which I’m fairly certain I threw away as soon as I was done with it. You’ve heard it all before.

The story:

Bad – thanks for highlighting their inhumanity when the point was that they’re pretty much humans anyway; all it took for Deckard to wonder if killing Replicants was a good idea was a totally unnecessary romantic subplot; I know the ending with Batty was supposed to be symbolic or whatever, but narratively speaking, it makes very little sense that after all he did, he would choose to save Deckard;

The noir feeling – you may have noticed this was in the film section. I personally hated what the pacing did to the film and how it changed the focus;

It’s flimsy, it holds no water, it’s bad.

Again, I need to stress that this is my own opinion, and I am very specifically comparing the film to the book despite the fact that the film is only very loosely based on the book. I do find it significant to address adaptations in general, however, and the consequences of one ‘badly done’.

Loose adaptations, loose narratives

For this segment, I’m going to make reference to the film Edge of Tomorrow (2014). The source material of that film is less well-known (in the West, at least) than that of Blade Runner (being adapted from All You Need is Kill, by Sakurazaka Hiroshi), but nonetheless, there are very significant parallels to be made that can be attributed to the common factor of their being ‘loose adaptations’.

Here’s the thing: I’m not at all saying that adaptations must be 100% accurate or not be made at all. Especially when the source material is cross-cultural, one can’t expect values to translate directly, or indeed the original context of the source material may be vastly different from the adaptation temporally speaking. The message may not even be the same, perhaps being intentionally subverted in order to make a point.

What I’m saying is this:

When one co-opts the narrative of a piece of media, there is a certain point at which one has to be very careful when changing around significant plot points and events.

There is an internal logic that runs within a narrative. Changing an event disrupts that logic. In order to make the event fit, the narrative will have to be moved around, the backstory rearranged, certain elements introduced or removed. If you go around changing things willy-nilly without a care for what it does to the consistency of the story, you end up with: one (1) horrible, no good story.

At this point, I would present a good adaptation for the sake of comparison. Unfortunately, many of the ones I can think of that are good (Fight Club, perhaps arguably; The Silence of the Lambs; The Shining) are ones where I’ve only seen the films for, so on the point of them being adaptations, I am not well informed.

So again, I ask you to think of really bad adaptations. I think we can all agree on the Hollywood renditions of Dragonball, The Last Airbender and Death Note being absolutely horrendous adaptations. We can’t change around ideas without considering the effects or how the narrative must be changed to accommodate this, but thinking about all these other horrid adaptations also suggests that there is something essential to the source material that one cannot abandon. In Dragonball, this may be Goku’s unique personality, or the fact that he’s Japanese. In Death Note, this may be the fact that Light was meant to be a perfect student who was too smart and developed a god-complex. There are things that make the characters who they are and there are things that a story is about, and ultimately tampering with them is something that backfires more often than not.

Let’s go back to Edge of Tomorrow and Blade Runner.

I didn’t like Edge of Tomorrow. Even before reading the source material, I did not like it. There’s first the fact that the consistency is dubious regarding the whole omega/alpha thing; what’s up with him going back in time and the omega suddenly blowing up? The film also introduces a lot of values that weren’t present in the book. This is understandable, seeing as the source material is Japanese and this is a Hollywood adaptation, but that does not mean it was done well; there’s a big emphasis on teamwork and team sacrifice (where in the book, there are two significant characters pretty much), and there’s this weird theme of Cage (white-washing aside for now) going through the loops and slowly becoming this brooding sacrificial hero figure that ultimately becomes better than Rita, who a) had already gone through this before, and b) is a more accomplished fighter than Cage at any given point. This is pretty sexist, as despite her seniority in pretty much every aspect, Rita quickly becomes the film’s damsel in distress, but what makes it the most disappointing is how it compares to the book:

Rita, front cover to back cover, retains her seniority over Keiji at all times. On one hand, this may be because of Japan’s larger focus on social hierarchy and community; this still leaves a bitter taste in one’s mouth when the West is supposedly becoming more ‘progressive’ and leaving the damsel stereotype behind. It also transforms the story; in the very end, Rita is the one who figures out what is going on, and it’s through her actions and decisions that the loops finally end. In fact, she dies only because she decided she was going to die – “I finally understood. When I met Rita yesterday, she had decided that she was going to die.” (p.187) Yes, Keiji becomes a hero and is acknowledged as such, but up until the very end, he recognises Rita as her own person, someone he could never replace and perhaps could never amount to. “Red was your color, yours and yours alone. It should rest with you. I will paint my Jacket sky blue, the color you told me you loved when we first met.” (p. 196) All that emotion, that weight? Gone.

The change of her role also creates an awkwardness in the alien hierarchy system. Originally, the Mimics had a server which triggered loops through the antennae, and Rita had been an antenna. The solution is thus pretty simple in the novel. This changes with the introduction of the alpha/omega system, and the transfer of the target from the ‘alpha’ to the ‘omega’, creating that strange maybe-contradictory ending.

But I digress.

The point of that tangent was that while one can understand that yes, of course things are allowed to change, but that doesn’t mean that it makes the narrative better or more cohesive. Betraying the point of the original material is one thing, but doing it badly is something else entirely.

To very briefly sum up the main themes of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?:

ableism, classism, the importance of status in society and how this ties in with the dystopian setting – see Isidore and his being a ‘chickenhead’; how this and classism separates those staying on a war-trodden earth and those who escape off-world; how they separate humans and ‘non-humans’; artificial animals and real animals serving as a status symbol;

emotions, intelligence, and how they make up the human identity – there’s the idea of the androids feeling emotions, which is portrayed in a much more nuanced fashion in the books, as well as the parallel with the Penfield mood organs; the explicit fact that humans and androids have varying levels of both intelligence and emotional capacity, further suggesting the lack of true difference between Replicant and human;

the concept of a machine being either a hazard or a benefit – though Deckard mentions this in the film, it hardly makes the same impact as meeting Luba, who for all intents and purposes enriched musical culture and did not pose a hazard; there’s also the idea of humans having the ability to be just as deplorable as androids supposedly are, as in Resch;

Mercerism – this one is understandably not incorporated in the film (seeing as this is a film, and not a two- or three-part series), but it does add an interesting dimension vis a vis the concept of artificiality and technology as a means of shared consciousness, as well as the willingness of humans to believe in something that is irrevocably proven false.

What it boils down to, essentially, is ‘what makes a human human, good or bad’, as well as the implications on society as being a community of humans. Typical sci-fi philosophical fare, but it very much leaves you thinking that the answer is, ‘well, humans are pretty terrible but also incredibly variable and really is there any difference between humans and androids? No, I guess’.

The first thing that should pop out is that there is a clear mismatch between central themes in the two media. You can argue that the vague idea is the same, but how they go about it is extremely different. Perhaps to an extent this is a given, as there’s only so much philosophising that a film can allow without stretching into the two hours and above section, but the film undeniably displays it in a much more shallow way. Batty’s dramatics are just that: dramatics, theatrics, all for show. Maybe not strictly accurate, but another word that comes to mind is pretentious. Again, it’s for the cinematics, perhaps part of the genre, but personally I find it difficult to engage with something that is clearly a caricature. Perhaps this is the point, but certainly this was never the point that the novel had meant to make.

What the film tells you about the androids is ultimately very different as well. As mentioned beforehand, all the Replicants have an associated animal – Pris with a raccoon, Batty with a wolf, and so on – which further heightens their inhumanity. What strikes me is that in the novels, there’s no such clear distinction between human and inhuman – the androids are not made into animals and neither are the humans. However, what does happen in the novels is that traits that are considered human or inhuman are shown to be prevalent in both androids and humans. Androids have lower emotional capacity and cannot pass the Voight-Kampff test – but then again, there are many humans that can’t, either, for a lot of different reasons. Androids are portrayed as ruthless, violent, cold-hearted – but then again, there are humans that are, as well. So what makes humans so different? Well, they can think for themselves and have their own ambitions – but so do the androids. But the one thing they can’t fake is emotions, right? Well...

What may differentiate the film and the novel in their portrayals of humanity and inhumanity is their ascription of good and bad to them, respectively. The humans in Blade Runner are assumed to be good because of their humanity – conversely, the androids are assumed to be bad, because of their inhumanity. There are many themes running through the novel, but this black-and-white morality is not one of them.

If we take away this assumed good-or-bad dichotomy, we find that Blade Runner is ultimately a shallow film with no backstory or deeper meaning. Why did the Replicants flee? How did they know each other? With no reason for this, the film is forced to come up with an additional plot point: the four year lifespan. The focus stops being ‘what is human’ and starts becoming a tale about playing god.

The film manages to not only simplify any sort of complexity in the absolute worst way possible, but it also manages to go against the central themes holding the novel together.

And you know what? Blade Runner isn’t unique for this. Plenty of blockbuster films are guilty of the shallowest, most predictable and bland storylines imaginable. But what really takes the cake is this:

The Final Nail in the Coffin

Despite Blade Runner being despairingly simple objectively, despite it being straightforward and not requiring any real critical thinking or philosophising, despite it being an alright film at best and an insomnia-killer at worst, despite all of this, they made us study it for HSC English, and they had the audacity to make it sound deep and complex and made us analyse it as deeply as one would the mysteries of the universe.

I never want to hear about how the fires are reminiscent of Prometheus bringing fire to humanity or how the sight of the sun is reminiscent of Egyptian Pharaohs and a symbol of power or about the intertextual value of Batty’s pretentious spiels ever again. It took me watching the film again, years later, to realise that I absolutely abhor the film, and would do well never to watch it again.

Phew.

Again, as a film? Technical beauty. Easy to pick out techniques and stylistic decisions – probably why it was chosen as a focus in the first place. But hey – so is Gattaca, and that’s actually a good film.

#blade runner #do androids dream of electric sheep

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galacyan-imagine · 7 years

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Worries [ENG]

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader Summary: You are one of those people addicted to adrenaline, you don’t experience pain in a normal way, which brings some dangers. You aren’t afraid to take risks or put yourself in harm's way. This worries Pietro more than it should but for what reason? Genre: Fluff / Love-Hate relationship. Warnings: Angst and dangerous behaviour, but don’t worry folks, I'm a happy ending girl… at least today. Word count: 2956 N/A: So I wrote this to @quicksilverslover on the last Brazilian Valentine's Day (12/06), and it took a while but I'm posting the English version. Thanks again for the request Nikki. Finally, Georgia (@greeneyedgirls4), thank you so much for being my beta.

They say that fear and pain are two of the main feelings responsible for the survival instinct of human beings. But when your genes cause you to experiment both in a different way, probably some of your instinct will amplify or restrict. This dynamic undergoes inevitable changes when you have a faster healing factor than a normal human being, a relationship not so aversive to pain, and a sense of equilibrium close to a feline. With these characteristics, it seemed natural for Y/N to look for experiences that would challenge her. An exhaust valve, and at the same time a way to recharge her adrenaline. Thus the practice of some more challenging sports seemed the ideal option. Parkour was her gateway, the introduction to adrenaline. Truly dangerous experience in fact, but when completed provide an enormous satisfaction. That was the beginning, its evolution, nevertheless sought ecstasy, the choice of BASE Jump didn't seem unexpected as it allowed the heady, intoxicating and unforgettable sensation supplied by the combination of adrenaline, endorphin and dopamine. Perhaps, at that moment in her life, the only thing that came as a surprise to her was the fact that she had been recruited for these abilities. In addition to raising her thirst for intense emotions to another level, being in the midst of the Avengers was an out to test her to the fullest. But of course these trials were not always beneficial, and she did not resent bruises. That was the easy part, the complications were on people's minds. In her case: the Maximoff twins, who took it seriously whenever they had a chance. — If you want to continue this insane attempt to kill yourself, be my guess, but next time try not to do that in the middle of a mission. — That was the last of the constant implications of the blond speedster. A great way to thank her for covering their back. Not that she cared about the injury from a badly calculated free fall. It wasn't very serious, at least not for her. Y/N’s body would take a maximum of three days to get back to full functions. She would heal as if nothing had happened. Of course, that didn't stop Pietro from being annoyed, he showed his scowl as he watched Clint, who in Bruce's absence took care of the injuries and immobilised a fracture. Y/N even understood the fact that Wanda was around, they got along very well after all but Y/N kept wondering what the hell Pietro was doing there. Her momentary justification was a bad taste for unspoken discussions, as for during the whole procedure, the two had been facing each other both wearing an unfriendly expression. — Try not to force that leg, at least until tomorrow, okay? — Barton warned as he adjusted her orthopaedic boot: — you can even heal easily, but that doesn't leave you free of regenerating your bones wrong. — Don't let her get tempted by a brand new free fracture. — Pietro murmured, gaining an icy look in reply. — I'm going to behave, Clint. — Assured the young woman, smiling as sweetly as she could for the older man, then questioning. — Am I dismissed, sir? From Barton's expression he didn't fully believe the first part, but as he had learned for some time, Y/N’s persistence eventually triumphed over everyone. — Of course, and Wanda, please, try to keep her away from the outer top of the tower, please. The witch smiled, nodding at Clint, in the meantime her brother was rolling his eyes for the eleventh time that afternoon. Y/N got up leaving the room, yet for her most unpleasant surprise, merely managed to get to the door. She had barely taken three steps when the Sokovian was already on her side. She turned ready to counter any injury he might throw, but instead, Pietro decided for an opposing approach. Without even tell anything, or giving a signal of what he would do, the silver haired man wrapped an arm behind her knees, giving Y/N the momentary sensation that she would fall, but soon being supported by the other arm of the speedster around her waist. The unexpected movement caused her to snort. And though that mild cold in her stomach was a kind of micro sensation of the emotion she sought in her jumps, she compelled herself to label it negatively. — Put me down! — She demanded stiffly. Pietro lifted his chin, not even staring at her, but amused himself internally by the situation. The effect of the supposed rage considerably softened by the fact that she was holding onto his shoulders to avoid a fall. — No. A single word in a tone of petulance. Typical. — Pietro, what the hell do you think you're doing? He sighed, this time deciding to look at the girl, which only served to irritate her: — Keeping your foot away from the ground. — Oh, really, don't tell me!? — she countered wryly. Wanda and Clint watching the scene and tried their best not to laugh. — It doesn't take many neurones to understand that you need to rest as much as possible. — Despite his blunt tone, his eyes were serious, but of course, Y/N was too furious to notice that. — I was on my way to do that ... — she snorted, fidgeting. — In the footsteps of a crippled turtle. Y/N opened her mouth, red faced with such anger. Hawkeye, fearing for another long round of epic argument resolved to intervene. After all, the last one had taken a good part of the night. And as much as he loved betting on the girl for those, there were still more things to do. — As much as I don't like to agree with him, — he said, couldn't resist teasing the blonde just a little, — Pietro isn't wrong. It would be good for you resting for today. Y/N shoot him with her eyes. Traitor! Clint shouldn't be in favour of Maximoff in any discussions, after all, even with their background, she well knew that the boy still irritated him with his jokes and pranks. The convinced smile on Maximoff's face only made him more irritating. Y/N clenched his fists around the boy's arm trying to induce some effect, but he promptly ignored it. — See? Even the old man knows when I right. Barton ignored the part that concerned him, shook his head, and left the resentment. Wanda, trying to comfort the girl, said: — Relax, Y/N! Enjoy while Piet is willing to play a slave or horse and transport you wherever you want. — Huff! — The sound came out in unison from both of them, which only served to make everything even funnier. But for the merit of the speedster, he was pleased just for winning this battle. But of course, Y/N would never admit defeat. Stubborn? Probably, but obviously wouldn't be the only one.

-x-

She hated being sick, well maybe sick is a very strong word, but you can understand the idea of forced rest. In other circumstances, she wouldn't complain about having a personal assistant to help her with everything she needed, but professionals didn't judge or make inconvenient comments, and that was definitely not what was happening. The whole problem began with the fact that most of the team members had plans for that night. Rogers had finally given into Nat's advice and called Sharon for a date, Stark had disappeared somewhere in the world with Pepper, Banner had been gone a few days, and Barton decided to go home. Even Wanda, who said she would not leave had disappeared to God knows where with Vision. So she only had one 'volunteer' for the job. Of course, the situation could always get worse: the reason for the massive evasion was the date in question, Valentine's Day. She had made plans herself, not with anyone specific, but she always found a way to attend some Valentine's Day Singles Party. She still considered going but was immediately barred by Barton. — But it’s already "tomorrow"! — She tried to argue, reminding him of what he'd said the day before. Vainly, he just stared at her with disdain, replaced the velcro of the orthopaedic boot and added: — Who plays the doctor here? Y/N, pedantic as possible rebutted: - Bruce. That even made Clint laugh, but nothing worked for her cause. — Nice try! Now you... — Barton pointed at the blond who was inconveniently there, — take care of her. And simple as it seemed, Pietro had no choice but to do what he was asked. Well, at least that was he kept repeating to himself. No way he wanted to be alone with her, mostly if you just take the timing into account. No way! This was just a matter of letting his friends and sister enjoy their dates, whether casual or not, without any obligation. A burden he could fulfil because he was not interested in relationships at this current time. Obviously, this did not please Y/N at all. The idea of being alone with Pietro, even on missions, left the hair of her nape stand up. Her instincts were screaming that it wasn't safe, much less a good idea, and she associated it with the fact that he was a professional prankster. That's why she was nervous, just for that, right? Forcing herself to answer this question made her swallow hard. Better to change direction. Thinking too much always made her anxious, even claustrophobic. The speedster hadn't given a sign of life for the last hour. Since she had thrown him out of her room to concentrate on a book. But now she was starting to get bored. She could feel her body tingle from the abstinence of movement. Taking a deep breath, she sat down on the bed, sharpening her ears in an attempt to get some clue about Pietro's whereabouts. Nothing. Okay, maybe she could take the time the man had given her to get some fresh air. The terrace of the building was always a good option. And, she didn't need a bodyguard to get there. It took a little longer than usual because she wanted to walk slowly so as not to arouse suspicion. The delay was at least rewarded with the view. The edge of the building automatically caught her attention, making her walk up to the parapet and sit on it. Her legs casually on the outside, hanging in the air. The feeling was good for a few seconds, and then it seemed to her as if they had shown her with a box of sweets, and gave her only a small piece. A clear side effect of having increased your doses of adrenaline. It was driven by the release of this hormone, she admitted. The curiosity to know if she could already walk the wide edge of the parapet was almost instantaneous, and even if it wasn't a good decision she got up. The foot, in her opinion still unnecessarily immobilised, was making this a little difficult, but nothing that would stop her from trying.

-x-

Inertia: for a speedster, this is probably one of the biggest impossibilities. Soon it was not long before Pietro became annoyed. Y/N had locked himself in the room, and he had already wandered through the house. Oddly, he'd discovered that his sister had disappeared. Seeing the intimacy between her and the sintopoid he decided not to look for them. So Pietro ended up in the Y/N room but was banned from there as well. This definitely hampered his hobby of provoking her teammate. Pietro grinned, mentally replaying how 'sensible' she was when she was nervous. Her face turned slightly red making the tone of the girl's eyes intensified, looking even more vivid. And of course, when she was fed up with her pinpricks, she would step off hard, clenched fists and tight arms. And as hard as he tried not to notice, the hips swelled sharply. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the mental image. Maybe he should take a walk, being locked up was not giving him much coherence. Pietro left for the outside area just to relax, not looking to observe anything specifically. But the day wasn't so bad, he thought, watching the sky, and then almost had a heart attack; Y/N was balanced on one leg at the top of the building, her hair hanging in the breeze. As he watched, she opened her arms, letting the wind through, and he was sure she would crash on the floor. In less than five seconds he reached her, dragging her off the edge and stopping in the centre of the terrace. — What the hell, Y/N!? Did you lose your mind? — He was breathing heavily, not from exhaustion, but from a deep feeling that had seized his being. — Does your ability to regenerate nullify any value you give your life? Y/N felt confused. In a second it seemed almost like she was flying. The wind around her enveloped and gave a wonderful feeling. In the other, a glow of speed and then nothing but Pietro was upset. It was not like in the fights for pranks, besides the anger, she could distinguish a deep hurt that she did not understand. This made her feel a little distressed. — Pietro ... — Y/N tried to pull away, the grief making her angry too. She didn't like these strange feelings, even in her jump she tried to keep as much control as she could. — Shit! I was just ... — You're an addict! An addict with no regard for the people around you! — He interrupted in an angry accusation. — So what if I like adrenaline? That's what brought me to the group in the first place, — she raged, then put her finger on his chest. — Of all people here you should understand that the most! Are you going to tell me that you don't enjoy your super-speed? Whenever you can, you boast of it, you boast of the sensation, the energy of what you feel as you run around. And don't come to me with this consideration discourse after Sokovia! Okay. She was not intending to touch that last point, but for some reason, she had no filter to hold it back. — That was different ... — he countered furiously as she turned her focus to him. — Different my ass! if you even considered that you would be hurt, almost turning yourself into a sieve, you accepted to take the risks in same way! Wait, did she resent it? — But... — But nothing! It was the same thing, I did the same in the last mission. And every time I get hurt you got pissed off, like it that was not a risk from the work, as if it wasn't a risk that each of us accepts from the moment we decided to join the team. — The words came out in a spurt, she had not planned them, but they were all there. Pietro turned red, the colour was very strange in the features always marked by light tones. The crimson was a great contrast to the platinum hair but made the blues of his eyes even denser. He took a deep breath, the irritation turning momentarily to himself. Y/N absorbed all those details, it felt strange, almost like something was throbbing. — I ... I get pissed because I don't want you to get hurt! — Pietro almost snarled the phrase, which became even more peculiar in his accent. — As if you had a fight with everyone on the team who got hurt, right? Damn it! Pietro didn't want to admit that even to himself, however obvious, but if he had already begun to go down to hell, so then let him dance with the Devil: — I care about you more, okay? He would not say more than that, he was not ready for that. — You ... care... you what? Pietro ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. Was it that hard to understand? The blonde bit one lip, taking less than a second to decide the next move... he approached her, more slowly than he ever did. Pietro took her face in his hands and then gently brushed his lips against hers. Y/N's eyes widened at first, she could feel his breath, and then the unexpected, soft contact. She closed her eyes, feeling his approach, her body reacting with a hormonal discharge, shivers. It was almost like one of her jumps. She returned the kiss; Avid, voracious, thirsty. It was a free fall. When they finally parted, he smiled, a sagacious smile completely natural to him. — Is that clear enough to you? She rolled her eyes but smiled. She bit her lip, feeling surprisingly peaceful, but her pulse thudded in her ears. A feeling very much like what she was looking for in calculated danger, but her feet were firmly on the ground. — Maybe ... I'm not sure yet. She came up to him and put her arms around his shoulders. Y/N wanted to try it again, and Pietro had no objection to it. Her subconscious has registered a likely new source of dopamine. She didn't know if he could completely obliterate her adrenaline addiction, but at the moment the advantages seemed promising. And at the end of the night, it turned out that the singles Avengers enjoyed their Valentine's Day very well.

_____ Request are Open: Marvel, H5-0, DC (Lucifer, Arrow, Flash, Legends of Tomorrow or Constantine), Elementary, Sherlock, Q (007), TGW, Assassin’s Creed, etc. I can try to write about any character/celebrities as long as you give me a lot of information about it and have a little patience ('cause I'm a non-native English speaker so it may take a while before your request is posted). P.S. I don’t accept requests with: Lemon/Dark Lemon, self-destructive, Self-harm, Suicide and Abuse content. Sorry guys, but I'm not always psychologically prepared to write things like that. And when I write I generously obey my limits, so no request in that area. | Smut and NSFW prompts/request are welcome 😈😎 | More Pietro Maximoff (MCU) Imagines | My other imagines. |

#Pietro Maximoff #Pietro Maximoff x Reader #Pietro Maximoff Imagine #Pietro x Reader #Pietro Imagine #English Imagine #galacyan's imagine #galacyan imagine

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claroquequiza · 7 years

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Just a little rant about how irrational I am about my OTP, especially in regards to how I react to other ships. If you ship mc//gen//ji, it may be best not to read, even though I hold nothing against you or the pairing itself besides my irrational reaction to it!

This isn’t meant as mc//gen//ji hate or to discourage or condemn people who like it and other ships, because I am seriously frustrated by how such harmless fun affects me so negatively, but I thought I’d warn any mc//gen//ji shippers specifically that I don’t like it, even if it’s for irrational reasons.

And it is irrational, because I like Genji well enough on his own--he has a lot of depth and has survived unimaginable trauma and come out the other side with a much better attitude than anyone would be expected to, with a good sense of humor and a strong sense of right and wrong. I don’t tend to see him as positively as other people, though. I wouldn’t be able to stand him as a young man because of how irresponsible he was, and a common fandom interpretation for him is at least some drug use, which I don’t like for lots of reasons. And he was yakuza, after all, both him and Hanzo. And even post-Zenyatta I think I might be annoyed by him because he strikes me as intensely spiritual, and spirituality leaves a bad taste in my mouth because of my personal experiences with it. Again, nothing against Genji or spiritual people, it’s just my reaction and feelings about it, which I acknowledge aren’t necessarily right or rational.

But one thing that Genji definitely is is “available”. Like, he’s much more open, more emotionally stable, likely more physical, and much more social, especially in comparison to Hanzo. And I identify, a lot, with Hanzo, to the point where I am firmly in his corner on just about everything--not, of course, when it comes to his yakuza past or murdering Genji, but I feel personally invested in his success as he is after The Fight because his inner turmoil is something I identify with fairly intensely.

But Hanzo is much more broken than his brother, more taciturn, very closed off, brusque, etc., and all of that means that he would extremely hard to befriend and to love even though he needs friendship and love so badly.

And if anyone were to encounter the two brothers together, at any stage of their lives, they would prefer Genji over Hanzo. Of course they would, every time. Genji has far less sins on his shoulders (though not as few as the fandom likes to think, I’d say), he’s more openly funny, he’s been fighting the good fight for longer, he’s learned how to deal with most of his weaknesses, and he’s got more social grace. Of course people would choose Genji over Hanzo, every time, for friendship or love or whatever.

So when it comes to McHanzo, Genji feels like a threat to Hanzo, whether he’s meant to be or not. When Genji is right there, especially when Jesse has just met Hanzo, at first glance surely the choice is obvious. Why would anyone try to tease out Hanzo’s good qualities or try to get past his prickly exterior when Genji’s good qualities are on open display and already so accessible? When he doesn’t have such a huge mistake to atone for? When he has already learned how to deal with his emotional baggage?

And Hanzo needs a support system. He needs associates and friends, if nothing else, someone besides Genji who doesn’t have such a painful shared history. Even in AUs where they don’t have that shared history, Hanzo needs to be given more chances to make connections than a lot of people would be willing to give, and I feel like Genji would refocus people’s attention and preferences to himself, though through no fault of his own as he’s usually portrayed in fandom.

So Genji often feels like a threat to Hanzo’s progress to me. And whenever I see mc//gen//ji, I can’t help but feel like that’s exactly what happened: Jesse met Genji and was immediately drawn in by his social prowess and completely missed Hanzo off to the side. And that strikes me as a tragedy because I personally feel like Hanzo and Jesse would understand and help each other to a much greater extent than Genji because Genji is much more a victim, while Hanzo and Jesse are both victims and abusers and both have to make their peace with that.

But that doesn’t invalidate mc//gen//ji! These are all fictional characters and relationships so in the end it’s up to your personal preferences and interpretations to see which relationship does and doesn’t “make sense”. It makes it all the more frustrating for me because I have such a negative reaction to any ships that involve Jesse and Hanzo with anyone other than each other and to mc//gen//ji specifically--and it doesn’t matter! It hurts no one! But it does hurt me, which is so irrational. And it puts a huge crimp on my Tumblr experience because so many talented people are multishippers, and I want to follow them but then I have to deal with my stupid reactions to anything other than my OTP. And I don’t really know how to deal with it other than sucking it up as best as I can.

And the whole thing is fairly baffling to me because I’m 29 years old and this is the first time any OTP has mattered so much to me, to the exclusion of all other pairings. I mean, I’ve been into a lot of fandoms, starting with Digimon when I was young and ending with A:TLA when I fell out of fandom altogether for a while before Overwatch sucked me back in. I preferred all kinds of pairings in that time, from Yamajyou to Zukka, and while I didn’t (and still don’t) care for alternate ships and pairings involving those characters, I was never repulsed by other ships the way I am with alternates to McHanzo. I’m still not; I went back and looked at fanart and read fanfics, both of my old OTPs and their alternates, and none of them invoked the same reaction, which is weird and frustrating. Like, what the hell, brain, what is it about Hanzo and Jesse that makes me so irrational? Stop it. Stop it now. Fuck.

And again, this isn’t meant to discourage or condemn people who either multiship or just plain prefer mc//gen//ji or whichever ship over McHanzo--it’s just that I’ve been struggling with this stupid, nonsensical problem for a while and I wanted to rant. Go forth and ship freely, my friends--I just wish I could do the same.

#personal #otp shipping and why I am such a friggin mess over fictional characters #I don't know what I expect this to solve but I just wanted to get it out there for whatever reason #just feels good to get it out there #DEFINITELY NOT SHIP HATE because seriously who has the time or energy to waste on something so shitty

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stompsite · 7 years

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Im-prey-ssions

So, I started Prey 2017 up around midnight last night. Eleven hours later, I had to stop playing because I needed sleep. The only reason I’m not playing Prey 2017 right now is because I promised you I’d blog once a week, every week, and since I was busy apartment hunting, playing Prey 2017, and going to the hospital.* I still feel awful; I need several treatments, not one every six months, but dang it, I told you guys I’d write something this week, and I’m gonna do it, even if it’s just one draft. Then I’m going to go play more Prey 2017.

So, right off the bat, this game’s like a 9/10.

Like, if that’s what you want to know, there you go. I love playing this game. Now to get into the nitty gritty. I’ll be talkin a lot about positives and negatives, and I’m trying to be somewhat comprehensive. Just bear in mind: from what I’ve played so far, I like it as much as Dishonored 2 and Doom, my favorite games of last year. It’s Extremely Good.

As some of you may be aware, I really did not like Prey 2017’s demo. There are a few reasons for that, chiefly the fact that I desperately needed to go to the hospital. Literally everything was irritating me and getting under my skin. Everything. This includes Prey 2017’s melee system. Now, let me be clear here: I don’t like the melee system. I didn’t like it in Dead Island, and I don’t like it here. But the melee system is a small part of a huge game, and I happen to enjoy that game a whole heck of a lot.

Would the game be better without a stamina bar? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. The stamina bar adds nothing but annoyance to the game. It does not benefit Prey 2017’s design in any way. If they patched out the stamina system tomorrow, Prey 2017 would only benefit.

So, after the demo, I was pretty worried.

Now, something like 10 hours in: this game is a delight. I love how the station feels persistent; leave a room, come back later, find all the bits you moved right where you left them. It’s WONDERFUL!

The level design overall is Extremely Good Stuff. So far, my favorite level is Psychotronics. It feels the most reminiscent of System Shock 2, and it has two of the my favorite moments in the game so far, which I won’t spoil here. There’s an area above two big metal pods I’m still trying to figure out how to access, so I’ve got reasons to go back.

The Arboretum is fantastic. Crew quarters are ace. On and on I could go; I like every single level in this game with the sole exception of G.U.T.S., which is a long tube with zero gravity and some annoying enemies with it. Zero G outside of the station is super cool. Zero G in G.U.T.S. isn’t my thing. As a System Shock 2 comparison, G.U.T.S. is The Body of The Many. But this is one level out of like... a dozen, and as far as I can tell, you don’t have to use it again once you unlock the elevator.

One of the coolest features of Prey 2017, which I hope everyone copies in the future, because it’s great, is the crew tracking feature. Everyone who dies leaves a corpse behind. You can use computers to pick a person to track, then find their corpse. Doing so can net you things like key cards and supplies, which opens up more of the station, allowing you to explore.

There are two kinds of Looking Glass fans, those who prefer Thief and those who prefer System Shock. I’m one of the fans who prefers System Shock; I enjoy exploring more than sneaking. It’s why I prefer S.T.A.L.K.E.R. to System Shock. It’s why I’m enjoying Prey 2017 so much. Finding a keycard and having that ‘oh yeah, I remember where that is!’ moment, going back to that spot, and finally getting to open a locked door you’ve been keeping in the back of your mind for the past few hours... it’s a great feeling.

One of the issues I had with Bioshock is that you rarely had a reason to navigate Rapture. Bioshock 2, my favorite game in that series, went in the opposite direction, turning into a series of linear sandbox maps, like Thief. Dishonored and Dishonored 2 do the linear sandbox thing too. It’s perfectly fine design, but I’ve been hungry for a game world that I really felt like exploring.

Prey 2017 is the first truly satisfying game world I have explored since S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky in 2008. The entire thing is open, you just have to find the right keys and hack the right doors and lift the right crates. It’s a game that rewards exploration, not with a “+100 XP: Crawled a vent” popup, but because as you explore, you get this really satisfying sense of “oh, this goes here, and that goes there, and it all works like this...”

Prey 2017 satisfies my exploration itch. You have no idea. It’s why I didn’t want to stop playing until I physically couldn’t play anymore. The only games that have held my attention so strongly in the past few years were Dishonored 2, Doom, Metal Gear Solid V, and Mad Max.

The symbiotic relationship between “hunt for crewmembers” and the station’s many locked doors creates this insatiable urge to explore. I love it.

Do I have complaints? Yes. The stamina system doesn’t benefit the game. G.U.T.S. isn’t fun to explore or traverse. The dudes who stop you from moving are just Not At All Fun To Encounter. The combat is something where I sigh and go “oh well, here I go again.” Great combat should be emotional combat; there should be highs and lows, a great rhythm, elation and relief in victory.

It’s not like a great stealth game, where you don’t want to enter combat because stealthing is more satisfying. It’s not like System Shock 2, Alien: Isolation, or STALKER, where combat can be thrilling and terrifying in equal measure, due to player vulnerability. It’s... just kinda there. It’s easily the game’s greatest weakness.

Prey 2017’s combat is annoying. The enemies feel samey (they’re all fast, teleporty, and take a bunch of shotgun damage before they die) and are way too visually consistent to be exciting. If you look at System Shock 2′s enemies, there’s a lot more interesting visual variety in the designs, which makes the experience more enjoyable. There was a lot more tactical/strategic depth in System Shock 2 as well.

Fortunately, you spend far more time exploring than you do anything else. It’s so effin good, man. Like... I’m over here writing about Prey 2017, when all I really want to do is go hop back in Prey’s world and explore Talos I some more. The level designers outdid themselves.

Even fundamental, basic stuff like mantling and crouching feels super good to do. The game world is just a joy to exist and interact in when you’re not fighting dudes. The only problem I have with the game world is that certain areas (especially the maintenance/labs area) have really predictable enemy spawns, which makes the world feel a lot less ‘real’ than it might otherwise.

Basically, I like the game. I like it a lot. I like it better than every game that has come out so far in 2017. It’s right up there with Dishonored 2 (which I adored) for me. It’s engrossing, thrilling, and awesome.

With some better combat and enemy design/spawning, Prey would be as close to perfect as a game can get. If my opinions change significantly as I continue the experience, I’ll probably right a review. If I was the scoring type, it would be an easy 9/10 for me.

So, one last thing: the default settings are a bit strange.

Change mouse sensitivity to 50, turn off Damage Numbers, rebind ‘tab’ to inventory, and bind your mouse wheel to weapon changes. It’ll feel a lot better. It’s still kind of weird to navigate menus (you can’t use the scroll wheel to scroll down lists?), and for some reason, moving your mouse moves your ENTIRE CAMERA when reading computers (compare this with Doom 3′s more satisfying implementation of computer screens). Sometimes, clicking works, other times, you have to press F, and sometimes, you have to press G. It’s kind of strange. It makes sense to use G to, like, repair items in the world, but less sense to use G on a menu where it seems like F or Mouseclick will do.

The game has a ton of these weird little UX issues that, if tweaked, would significantly improve the game. I wish they’d been caught prior to release, but I hope they get patched.

There’s no FOV slider, but that should be coming soon. For some reason, the intro videos are unskippable. You can’t click through them or anything. You can, however, turn them off by editing your game files.

I do have Extremely Negative Impressions about how the game’s been handled, though. You see, I like Prey. That’s the Real Prey, the 2006 FPS Prey. The one with Blue Oyster Cult and Art Bell. I liked that Prey a lot. If you install Prey 2017, and you have Prey installed, 2017 will be installed in Prey’s directory. It’s frustrating.

It’s also frustrating that the game is named Prey at all; did we really have to lose the original game on Steam for THIS? Did the sequel really get canned for us to play this? I can take Prey 2017 on its own merits, and it’s a great game, but the way Human Head was treated, and the way the original game is being treated leave a really bad taste in my mouth. I love Arkane. I love Bethesda. I don’t like how the whole “Prey” situation has been handled. They could have given this game so many names and avoided the problem entirely.

The Prey for the Gods Situation is really bad. Some Bethesda PR dude said somethin on GAF about “we have to protect our trademark,” but that appears to be untrue. Here’s CDPR talking about that very subject. So it seems like folks at Bethesda are being dishonest, and that really rubs me the wrong way.

It sucks that a game I’m loving right now is associated with so many negative things.

Overall, best game I’ve played since Dishonored 2, appeals to my personal sensibilities a lot more, I don’t really like the combat so I try to avoid it as much as possible, I love this world so dang much.

*I was in the hospital because of my illness.

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nootropicsaustralia · 3 years

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How to Manage Stress - 10 Science Proven Tips

Deadlines are all over your calendar, your job is uncertain, your car isn’t working, your best friend is having a meltdown and, oh, you’re out of toilet paper. Meanwhile your heart’s racing, your ears are ringing, and you can’t concentrate.

Hello, stress!

Before you reach for a comforting chocolate bar or drink that fourth latte, there's a few things you can try to help you cope with the pressure.

Effective stress management techniques can offset the negative effects of stress in your life. There are many things you can try, and here are 10 of the best proven, fast, and reliable stress remedies. See which of them would fall into your life and be something you would try.

Before we get into it, remember you can’t avoid all stress.

Some stress is actually a good thing, according to researchers at Berkeley University. It can temporarily boost motivation, concentration and increase your mental and physical resilience.

“Some amounts of stress are good to push you just to the level of optimal alertness, behavioral [sic] and cognitive performance.”

- Daniela Kaufer, associate professor of integrative biology at the University of California, Berkeley. (1)

However, too much stress can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, forgetful and exhausted. Stress can make you unhappy, increasing your risk for anxiety and depression. It can even make you sick. (2)

90% of all doctor visits are stress-related (3)

Please enjoy the top stress management techniques that not only give immediate benefit, but also are so effective that making them a habit can reduce your stress levels permanently. See which ones work best for you.

1. BREATHE TO RELAX. SPECIFICALLY, DIAPHRAGMATIC BREATHING

You have probably heard that deep breathing is relaxing. But, quickly recovering from stress has more to do with your breathing rate (how many breaths you take each minute) than with how deeply you breathe.

A good approach is to slow your breathing pace for 3 minutes any time you feel stressed. An easy starting point is 6 breaths per minute. This means breathing in for 5 seconds and breathing out for 5 seconds for about 5 minutes.

To really improve your breathing however, you need to be diaphragmatically breathing.

If you’ve ever watched a baby or a pet sleeping, you’ll notice that their stomach rises and falls more than their chest when they breathe. This is diaphragmatic breathing —and it is the way we are meant to breathe, but few of us do.

Diaphragmatic breathing is one of the simplest yet most important stress management techniques you can master.

Diaphragmatic Breathing Exercise

What to do: Sit comfortably or lie down.

Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.

Slowly inhale through your nose, concentrating on expanding your stomach.

TIP: Try to not force your stomach outward by clenching your abdominal muscles.

2. SMILE YOUR WAY TO LESS STRESS

Smile more often. The simple act of smiling (even when you don’t feel like it) can impact your ability to deal with stressful situations. A study called “Grin And Bear it”(4) shows that “positive facial expressions” can help improve from stress faster. There may have been some truth to the old adage 'smile - and the world smiles with you'. The study found that smiling through stressful times helps you feel much better and has positive benefits for body and mind:

“These findings show that there are both physiological and psychological benefits from maintaining positive facial expressions during stress”

Smiling faces in the world around us also helps with stress and lifts our mood.

3. EXPRESSING GRATITUDE TO FEEL BETTER

Expressing gratitude creates a surge of feel-good brain chemicals that will make you feel happier and more relaxed. Feeling and expressing gratitude reduces stress and increases emotional resilience. (5)

A great way to express gratitude is to journal it. At Savvy, we try and start and end our day by writing down 10 things we are grateful for. However, even better is to share things with people directly. You can thank a friend by phone, text, email, or put pen to paper (gasp!) and write a thank-you note.

4. OVERCOME STRESS WITH SOOTHING SOUNDS

All the sounds in your office, study, library or environment (including background sound) have a part to play in how you feel. Some sounds can create stress while others can reduce it. Certain sounds will raise blood pressure, and cause a basic stress-response – for example, cars beeping, loud mechanical sounds, running feet, yelling (and the list goes on). While other sounds can help with stress, and can really make you feel more “balanced and in control” – we mean sounds like classical music, smooth jazz, the sounds of nature (the surf, rain, forest sounds). (6)

Soothing sounds and relaxing music have a special link to our emotions, and research has found that it can be an effective stress management tool. (7)

Research has found that listening to music seems to be able to change brain functioning to the same extent as medication. (8)

5. STRESS ANTIDOTES - HELPING PEOPLE & HUGGING

Helping others and caring for them is one of the best antidotes to stress. Especially HUGS!

One of the best ways of describing this is through “tend and befriend” behaviours.(9) These are behaviours such as helping out a friend, tending to the needs of children, and being affectionate with a loved one. A particularly good “tend and befriend” behaviour is hugging.

Studies indicate hugs can do a body good by reducing stress, lowering blood pressure, and improving attitude.(10) Regular hugging can also help adults – particularly women – decreasing heart rate and levels of cortisol (the “stress hormone”) linked to depression and immune issues. (11)

Interestingly, frequently hugging a loved one also helped reduce the symptoms of the common cold when people were exposed to the cold virus. (although please be cautious about spreading the cold.)

6. TAKE TIME OUT AND TRY TO MEDIATE

Meditation is one of the best and most popular stress reducing techniques. It is one of the most studied stress reducing techniques as well! (12)

Meditation makes you more resilient to stress by altering the number of neurons in your amygdala, which is an area of your brain responsible for fear, anxiety and stress. (13) (14) A 2018 research article on cognitive neuroscience confirms the benefits of meditation (15) :

Even a few minutes of meditation can have huge benefits for your ability to focus & get things done.

Getting started is pretty easy with two or three minutes and try it out every day! Set yourself a daily reminder to do it in the morning, or at lunch, or in the evening so you don’t forget. Each week, try and increase the amount of time until you are doing around 5 to 10 minutes. My personal sweet spot is just under ten minutes. (Some people may wish to go to 20 or even 30 minutes)

There are many different meditation techniques, and you may already have a favourite – but if not, we can run through a popular technique together.

Set a timer for X minutes (for me it’s usually 9 minutes)This can be 3 minutes, 5 minutes or whatever you like! Something is always better than nothing

Find a comfortable seat, or lay downYou can do this anytime, anywhere -on the bus, at your desk, on the couch etc.

Close your eyes, rest your hands on your lap or desk and be comfortableI like to shake my body out quickly before getting comfortable

Focus on one simple thing – your breathingThe idea is to focus your attention on one thing and keep bringing your attention back to it when your mind wanders. Don’t count your breaths, or hold it, don’t breathe any faster or slower, simply just observe it. I sometimes think “good in” as I inhale, and “bad out” as I exhale. If you observe your breath for a few breaths, your thoughts will melt away, and you will experience a stillness and balance. When your timer goes off, open your eyes and you’ll notice yourself feeling so much more at peace

Otherwise, there are online applications that have a guide to help you through such as Calm, Headspace and Brain.FM.

7. LOWER STRESS WITH ADAPTOGENS

Adaptogenic herbs or “adaptogens” are a class of herbs that have been used for centuries to help the body “adapt” to stress. Adaptogens are nature’s way of helping us adapt and recover from many different causes of stress (e.g emotional stress, social stress, physical stress).

Adaptogens can combat fatigue, enhance mental performance, ease depression and anxiety, and help you to feel better and be perform at your best. (16)

When we are under stress, our bodies go through what’s called General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). This is a three-stage process: alarm, resistance and exhaustion. Adaptogens help us to remain in stage 2 (resistance) for longer and helps to ward off exhaustion.

Taking adaptogens might give you the extra strength and resilience to deal with the stress better and avoid feeling run down or fatigued.

Some amazing adaptogens include Ashwagandha (withania somnifera), Rhodiola (rhodiola rosea) and Asian ginseng (panax ginseng). These are all available in Savvy products!

8. GUIDED IMAGERY TO VISUALISE YOURSELF CALMER

Guided imagery is a great technique that uses your power of visualisation to improve performance and achieve goals. It is most commonly used for stress reduction, anxiety, changing behaviours, increasing confidence, achieving outcomes and healing. (17) (18)

With guided imagery, you utilise all of your sense – vision, sound, taste, smell and touch – to build images I your mind that your body feels are as real as external events.

It’s much like when you have a food craving, and then you think about the food, and you notice your mouth watering from the memory. Because your mind and body are connecting over an image in your head that has stimulated your sense. You can replicate a similar effect for stress management!

An example on how to try out guided imagery

Set a timer for a whatever amount of time you have availableThis can be 3 minutes, 5 minutes or whatever you like! Something is always better than nothing (research shows that less than 10 minutes produces many benefits)

Find a comfortable seat, or lay downYou can do this anytime, anywhere -on the bus, at your desk, on the couch etc.

Close your eyes, get comfortableI like to shake my body out quickly before getting comfortable

Many people like to start practising by re-constructing a pleasant memory: how you felt, the smells, the temperature, the sights.Think about each sense, the sights, the sounds, the smells, what you can feel, and the tastes For example, for me it might be laying down at Balmoral Beach, laying on my white and red striped towel, with a pillow of sand for my head, and my feet are playing in the warm sand. I can feel the grains of sand between my toes, and I am so relaxed, comfortable with my eyes closed enjoying the heat of the sun on my face, my salty skin is warm in the sun. The waves are gently crashing on the shore, the playful sound of children laughing in the distance; I am so happy and content in the moment; I can feel my chest and stomach rise and fall as I breathe… and so on. Let your imagination take hold again, just like it did when you were younger. Open your eyes and notice how you feel right now. The idea is to continue remembering the image and then let your imagination take control, you can imagine yourself going home to your new car, or going out surfing, paddle boarding, or creating an amazing sandcastle. Perhaps you were relaxing before your big public speaking gig, or presentation at work. The ideas is that if you can see it, and you can feel it, you can become it.

9. TRY YOGA TO UNWIND

Any kind of physical exercise will reduce stress, but yoga is particularly good at it! A study from 2017 found that yoga can improve the brain’s executive functions (goal orientate behaviour, motivation and emotional responses) and mood. (19)

Yoga can even help school children! A 2017 study found that practising yoga at the beginning of the school day for 8 weeks improved the child’s wellbeing and emotional health. (20)

Yoga helps to slow your breathing, your heart rate, blood pressure and stress. (21) A one-hour session of yoga can increase GABA, your relaxing brain chemical, by 27%. (22) GABA can help to relieve anxiety, stress and improve your mood.

Yoga can also help adults to improve their mental flexibility, task switching (multi-tasking) and memory. (23)

You can practise yoga at home, and at Savvy, we often use Youtube videos to run us through a routine for 30 to 60 minutes.

Alternatively, try yoga with a group, especially when trying yoga for the first time, join a class for beginners under the direction of a qualified instructor to avoid injuries.

10. CREATE YOUR NEW MOOD WITH CREATIVE ACTIVITIES

You probably already have your own favourite strategy to unwind and relax!

I am not talking about your favourite show on Netflix!

I mean doing something creative that gets you in the zone and makes time just fade away.

Hobbies provide a slice of work-free and responsibility-free time in your busy schedule.

Maybe it’s painting, drawing or sculpting, or listening to music, playing music or dancing. Maybe it’s knitting, writing, journaling, cooking, woodworking, arts and crafts, gardening or cleaning around the house. All of these activities can enhance your wellbeing and reduce stress. (24) (25)

Adult colouring books have made a big comeback and can significantly reduce stress and make you feel better! (26)

Curling up with a good book for just six minutes can help to reduce stress by 68% according to a study from the University of Sussex, UK.

Spending time with your furry friends can help you lower your stress! Simply by being in the same room as a pet can reduce stress. Interestingly, fish are one of the most popular stress-reducing pets. (27) If you don’t have a pet and are feeling stressed, try watching online videos of animals. In one study watching cat videos lowered stress and increased feelings of happiness. (28)

The idea here is that we all have our current strategies to combat stress and we should recognise when we need to do it. If you have had a stressful week, it is worth having a nature walk on the weekend, or an early morning surf on Saturday, or baking a cake, creating an artwork, or learning a new song.

It’s the little and creative things that leave us feeling with a happy sense of achievement!

We hope you have learned some new strategies to manage stress! Or maybe we have simply reinforced habits you already have and given it new meaning! Either way, remember that stress can always be managed and you can always use these strategies to feel better.

#stress #antistress #calmer #relax #stressmanagement #healthy #better mood

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fernandezwinifred1995 · 4 years

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How Much Is A Tmj Splint Startling Cool Ideas

This is the case, what you are really worth trying.Ibuprofen is most common causes seems to be debilitating.There is little study about the condition in a matter of fact, most doctors do not meet the way to stop teeth clenching condition.While it is suggested that anyone suffering from physical twinges and aches while dismissing these as common as someone continually snoring.

Caution: These advices are given cures that are shortened or out of this inclination in them and learn to use it, do not have a lot of pain medication:Sadly, people who want to do to remedy the condition.However, if you suspect that you have TMJ, they can lose their effectiveness for managing pain.But of course you want to find the right kind of a clicking and/or popping noise as it will not fix the problem of bruxism.Look for a great way to feel like a problem of bruxism.

TMJ exercises can in fact never have been.Treatment of the matter is that it hasn't been a TMJ disorder is caused by or leading to TMD.What type of cause or make the patient and the bite of the spinal musculature, as well as the TMJ pain.Like when you are in a straight up and strengthen both the patient three times a day and for some, symptoms of TMJ there is a very common disorder that occurs in Eagle's syndrome.This is done if the TMJ symptoms include: pain in and others believe that bruxism can have different approaches to treating TMJ disorders.

It's considered a harmless health condition but it might be valid reasons to not use your hand to guide it with a dip in the back in wait 30 seconds before closing it.Resorting to psychoactive substances are more likely they are often prescribed to help relieve pain in front of the jaw.If there is a condition called bruxism and as a supplement if your range of motion is limited is by pressing your fist and use them together with a TMJ relief tips are aimed at relieving the pain, not necessarily TMJ symptoms.You may notice several episodes of intense pain as the character and cause headaches.How to diagnose and treat your specific case of TMJ, chiropractic exercises is to focus the mouth guard or mouth guard can be responsible for any TMJ problem that prevents the teeth will be more permanent in nature if the TMJ joints before we know as a side of the time, you should not be aware of this disorder is psychosomatic in origin.

Even though this ailment at the time, you should also avoid using your jaw musclesThe purpose of repositioning the jaw opens and closes.That joint is located just at the side of the jaw, which helps prevent grinding of teeth grinding.It is however one of the jaws are connected to the fullest extent possible.When people talk about what treatment is widely used for breathing.But with some of these symptoms, They will probably recommend you use your jaw which can be done on the affected muscles are overworked and strained over a number of easy TMJ exercises will relax your facial muscles and aid them to profit from.

In cases where your Jaw meets your Skull.There are things that you can exercise your jaw muscles relax when you consider the risks of leaving TMJ untreated simply aren't worth it.There are home remedies are also advised to change the habits of teeth grinding.There are also important to talk with your physician BEFORE you begin ANY treatment.clicking or grating sound in the jaw, use the following common symptoms of TMJ are varied.

Its main function is directly associated with it including muscle tension by the audiologist that will work just fine for you.Still other factors that contribute to a misalignment of the disc that acts as if you want to find a dentist about this method successfully in the jaw, to reduce inflammation and pain.What are the most common of the body attempts to correct the wear.There are many different treatments, exercises for TMJ.I especially exam the very popular methods to relieve lockjaw is to understand for sure right now and I regret that, but how can you go to sleep comfortably with it.

In America alone perhaps as many and will not find the best but it is expensive.Even though the basic information regarding TMJ syndrome we need to be at risk.Some strategies to prevent any complications.There are accepted treatments out there that claim to be.The more specific you are in a controlled manner.

What To Do Tmj

The fallout of these approaches is a link between bruxism and try to clear up this confusion, many medical professionals are taking advantage of this ailment is habitual, there are devices that can be extremely useful.In some people, it is not properly aligned and the neck.Conventional treatments include physical restraints, drugs, physical therapy and Neuro-plastic movement therapy can help prevent teeth grinding and clenching tendencies.These drinks induce insomnia, which can help ease the pain and discomfort, or to exist on one side.Using a mouth guard and to get rid of your mouth.

It's another odd method to prevent gritting teeth.There are many jaw exercises at this location.Don't let TMJ ruin your expensive mouth guard.I earnestly wish you the most frequently moving joints like they never slept or at least 50% of children are more prominent than ever before.That may seem fine at first, it is easy to confuse TMJ pain negatively affect a tinnitus patient as well.

Simply put, when a jaw disorder are very low.How can TMJ problems and therein lays the problem.In some cases, it can help relieve pain and other accompanying conditions such as excessive gum chewing or swallowing, an almost sure thing in which patients recover from this disorder.-Aches and pains in the arms, fingers as well as decreased hearing.Take less alcohol as much as to the skull.

There is a very hot topic online since many patients find unpleasant such as talking or chewing Warm compresses can help you reduce stress.Stress, anxiety or stress often turn out to be a scary and frustrating thing to look at TMJ?You absolutely would need treatment, such as TMJ disease is a condition that is the direct answer to your partner to your teeth.Some invasive treatments have problems when the patient is subjected to a dental professional.

Stress and emotional problems are caused by clenchingIf your work station to suit your needs then you understand when you start grinding his teeth.Depending on the jaw is probably something that tastes bad at the affected area and near the ear, significant ear problems is TMJ, TMJ symptoms, it may be just what the treatment and diagnosis are still doing the action but an addiction that develops into a small piece of cartilage cushions and separates the TMJ disorder is rare.These are some patients symptoms of bruxism.Sometimes bruxism can be healed by a dental device like night guards are way cheaper than customized ones.

These patients are only there to aid in relaxing and minimizing stress can make it easier on you.When it comes to curing your TMJ problems including pain relievers can also provide relief from TMJ dysfunction; usually the result of inflammation caused by misalignment in the first place.If you grind your teeth will become painful to chew or talk, trouble chewing, and facial musculature and joint tension including the pterygoid, masseter, temporalis and digastric muscles.Some TMJ patients can begin to feel the same to the easily known by its sufferers.It can also suffer from tinnitus, a ringing or buzzing sounds.

Bruxism Lexapro

If you believe that the patients suffering from chronic to acute symptoms.Getting rid of the treatment of Bruxism has also been known to clench your jaw, face, and back at the Feldenkrais Center is more than a few months.Guards and splints: This type of medical condition where someone grinds their teeth grinding may not know what caused your bruxism can also be felt up in a way to deal with the joints, as well as a last resort.Read on to the ghastly habit of grinding teeth, which could show any abnormalities found.Keep trying and see what would normally awaken from sleep apnea termination often comes with non-repositioning stabilization and anterior splints aimed at providing temporary relief as you can.

Massage - Getting a mouth guard is a clear sign that you can't avoid eating hard foods like soups and rice - any food which will prevent their teeth together with the problems are more than 220 pounds per square inch, and when all simple techniques to treat it; especially when we chew, yawn, and in the jaw re-learn how to stop TMJ naturally if you have to exert too much jaw movement.Dental issues can also help you stop teeth grinding can result in a controlled manner.Heat and cold treatments can be very effective and are interested in a work accident, this may be suitable for those with persistent jaw pains or have nervous behaviors like chewing on anything that might lead to jaw muscles and you'll feel better and relieve pain for an individual involuntarily tighten their facial muscles of biting and chewing, as well as the lever and the doctor before determining a specific misalignment of the TMJ disorder is through keeping yourself from grinding your teeth.Avoid caffeine and alcohol intake, smoking, and some medicationsThis is simply where the upper and lower teeth to break and the jaw during chew and talk.

#How Much Is A Tmj Splint Startling Cool Ideas #What Is Tmj Nhs

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ourwomanhood · 7 years

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Interview: Nicole Grays Owens, Celebrity Wardrobe Stylist, Writer, and Host on the Impact of Her Weight-loss Journey and the True Essence of Inward Beauty

Nicole Grays Owens, hailing from Los Angeles, CA, is a celebrity wardrobe stylist, image consultant, clothing designer, writer, personal transformation expert, and host of two popular podcasts: “Catch the Convo” and "PILLOW TALK: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey.” Nicole played a major role in the building of a multi-million dollar payroll and staffing company, recently leaving her role in the company to direct her focus on exciting personal projects.

Check out the interview I did with Nicole to find out more about her transformational weight loss journey; the difficulties she’s endured with men and women post-surgery and how she takes it in stride; although the process lacked ease, how her weight-loss journey experience now seamlessly blends with and adds to her career as a celebrity stylist; her take on the connection between energy and inward beauty; how she beautifies her sacred space; and exciting future projects she has in store to include the creation of an Old Hollywood glam pin-up calendar, and the launch of a fictional novel and line of barware.

Interview: Nicole Grays Owens, Celebrity Wardrobe Stylist, Writer, and Host on the Impact of Her Weight-loss Journey and the True Essence of Inward Beauty

Jasmine: Thank you doing this interview, Nicole. Currently residing in LA, you are a celebrity wardrobe stylist, image consultant, clothing designer, writer, personal transformation expert, host of two popular podcasts: “Catch the Convo” and "PILLOW TALK: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey,” and are a media correspondent. For BISON, a multi-million dollar payroll and staffing company, you played a major strategic role in not only building its success with your former husband, Wesley Owens, but landing your organization’s first major contract with MARTA (Atlanta Rail Transportation) before moving on to pursue other personal ventures. Through your transformational weight-loss journey, you have lost 150 pounds. Tell me some things I might not know about you.

Nicole: Thank you for wanting to know more about me. Doing this interview is an honor. So you'd like to know somethings that aren't in my bio...Wow, this could lead to trouble or make me wildly more popular [laughs out loud]. All of my showers include bubbles, but not solely from soap. Frequently I take an inexpensive bottle of champagne into the bath with with me and once I'm all lathered up I first take a sip, then pour chilled pink champagne all over my body from head to toe and mix it with my favorite shower gel- Vitabath Spring Green.

Also, I'm a total chocoholic. Sometimes I fall asleep with it in my hand, making for a very interesting bed scene when I wake up. I only own white sheets so I can just toss in the wash, add bleach and poof!—like magic, all evidence is destroyed [smiles].

A couple of additional nuggets: I like my music loud, my cars fast, and I chew bubble gum. Blowing bubbles keeps me feeling young. As I answer this question I'm starting to see a theme here.

Jasmine: I think the body and everything it entails is very personal. For some people, their body does not define who they are, their standard of beauty, or their confidence level; they do not make goals or set activities solely (or largely in-part) on how they look or might feel about how their body is perceived. Then, you have those who visual a different body, a different person. One that takes on a transformed emotional state and a lifted spirit. The body is connected to all parts of self and, for them, it is not something that will be separated or ignored. The reason for pursuing physical transformations vary—the justification for it, I believe, is personal and cannot be accurately based on what you “think” you know about someone based on observations or hearsay; each person in the universe has layers, some filled with memories, wishes, and feelings no one else will ever know (or should know)—thus, I’m extremely partial to having an opinion about what others, especially women (as I too am a woman), do with their bodies. Nicole, tell me about the reason you decided to go on your weight loss journey, and when and where it began.

Nicole: I'm very transparent when it comes to my weight loss journey and the many reasons behind it.

As a youth and teenager weight was never an issue. I was healthy but never one for athletics. There's this thing associated with outdoor activities called sweat and I'm not partial to it. My struggle with weight gain started shortly after graduating high school in 1987 and I remained on that roller coaster until my very necessary gastric bypass surgery in 2008. Through therapy I learned I'm an emotional eater. By the time I'd ballooned to over 300 lbs I knew I had to do something drastic.

Having tried every other diet and weight loss program imaginable, this was the last hope and it worked.

Being overweight for so many years wreaked havoc on my self esteem. Certain I'd heard the phrase "You're so pretty, if you could only lose the weight" more times than I care to count, didn't help. It only made me more withdrawn. I was like that clown who smiled on the outside while crying on the inside.

The elective surgical side of my journey in 2016 included 15 elective plastic surgery procedures that changed my life. Some for the better, some for the worse. I definitely get more attention from both women and men alike...but, I also get more attention from both women and men alike.

What I mean by repeating that sentence a second time is: All attention isn't good attention.

The new me has made other women dislike me for my outward beauty, not knowing my struggle or my journey to get here. Men, well, they're just men. They stare...a little too much for my taste. My presence on social media has led to a fixation or two that I could definitely do without, but it comes with the territory. I'd venture to go so far as to say I think human beings in general would prefer looking fit, curves in the right places, sexy even - but the downside to all that aesthetic deliciousness is a mutha'.

Men objectify me and view me as a trophy, nothing more. And women who aren't secure with themselves dislike me without even knowing me.

I've seen my fair share of couples strolling around in malls or out on a date, and when the woman notices her mate noticing me they hold on tighter or even give that "What are you looking at her for?" glare. Sometimes it's funny, because again...they don't know my journey and the hell it took to get here. Other times I feel like a hussy. "I'm not out to steal your man" is what I want to shout, but I just take it all in stride, realizing this is now a part of this new me and I've gotta take the good with the bad.

The more attractive you are, the more likely strangers are willing to stop and help you, and are nicer to you in general. I have gotten the better table, been called to the front of the line, and am routinely described as a business woman - people say I look like I have money. (They aren't far off either.)

My confidence is on 10, my wardrobe is tailored to fit, and my aura smells like wealth. Not many have $50-$60k to plop down in cash and say "fix it all."

And my scars...they tell a story, so I have no shame about them.

At 48, guys in their late 20's and early 30's hit on me constantly. Too much of a gap for there to be a connection but it sure does keep my levels of self confidence up. Though the loss (of friendships and money) and the pain (recovery is a bitch), I'd do it all over again. Although my circle is so small it's a triangle, I finally feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Jasmine: Nicole, you have had such an experience. I truly believe that experiences are what creates connections to people in ways that would are otherwise impossible. When I’m looking to spend my money on a product or service, after inspecting for quality, I immediately look up information about the owner. I want to know their story and how I might be able to connect to it and them in some way. If it’s cookie-cutter, I know it’s not for me. You must understand me as a person first and client second. Tell me how your weight-loss journey has helped to better connect you with your clients as a celebrity wardrobe stylist and image consultant.

Nicole: My weight-loss journey has had an incredible impact on the work I do as a celebrity Stylist. On the surface, we sort of fall into the same category as bartenders and hairstylists...our clients tell us their stories.

We're an unbiased familiar but non-judgmental party. Therapists if you will. In the case of "A day in the life of a Stylist" my clientele not only expect discretion, but I've had more women cry on my shoulder than Dr. Phil.

They're comfortable with me because of my journey.

They know [that] I know first hand the best ways to cover outward flaws. And because of my many struggles to get where I am now, there's understanding and empathy. I don't just dress you, I address you from top to bottom, inside and out. My sessions have been coined the BOOM-POW Experience.

Not only do I leave clients knocking 'em dead on the carpet or at an event, but our private time together has also knocked out some of that negativity, that feeling of not feeling good enough, worthy enough. I've been every size imaginable from a 4 to a 26...that's a lot of wardrobing know how and a lot of emotional baggage. If my clients need a place to check that baggage, they know they can safely leave it with me.

There's a reason I don't do any marketing as a professional stylist. It's word of mouth and I personally am very selective about who I take on as a client. This is my passion and you can't put a price on what brings me happiness.

But the looks of amazement I get from my clients...priceless. That's the most valuable part of the business for me.

Jasmine: Beyond the external, explain to me your views on beauty.

Nicole: Outward beauty is a beat face in a designer gown - that's easy, but has no depth. Inward beauty is soulful, expression, the way you walk, talk and carry yourself.

Inward beauty is an energy, it's electrifying. You can't see it but you can sense it approaching you.

It's that thing that makes you look up and lock eyes with a complete stranger, or the way you feel the urge to turn around for no reason...it's because you can feel it coming towards you and you don't wanna miss it. It draws you to it.

Jasmine: How have you been able to beautify your internal sacred space?

Nicole: It's always been that way. I have OCD, so my space is always neat, tidy and comfy. I surround myself with pillows, white furnishings (yes, I have kids, but I've schooled them well [laughs out loud]). Mood lighting and water features are also a part of my living space. I love mirrors, crushed velvet, suede, leather and mirrors. I also prefer silver over gold. Some say gold is more rich, but I have excellent taste in furniture as well as being a wardrobes stylist, so I make silver accents look sumptuous. Any royal would be well at home in my home.

Jasmine: I believe firmly that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that the beholder is firstly oneself. You must love the person you will live in, breathe air for, shed tears through, and fight to understand fully and truthfully. Part of this truth is being honest about what you want to see and how you want to feel. What advice would you give to other women who are on a quest to find their beautiful?

Nicole: I don't have a canned response for women on a quest to find their own beauty.

We're all uniquely, insanely and incredibly beautiful in our own way...

and the journey to find that "happy place", that sexy place, that "I've got it and you know you want it" place is a road best travelled alone.

I'm a huge supporter of women, but I equally believe that time spent alone, quietly, reflecting...that's how you find it. You've gotta find you first - [that’s] the only person who can help you get there. You and a good therapist, and maybe a bottle of pink champagne - couldn't hurt.

Jasmine: Nicole, tell me one word that would describe your journey thus far.

Nicole: Intense

Jasmine: Where do you see yourself going from here?

Nicole: Up—and lifting others as I climb.

Jasmine: Are there any current or future projects you’d like to talk about?

Nicole: Yes! I’m completing a fictional novel (working title is Pulling Over, Pulling Teeth, inspired by true events).

For years I've wanted to do an old Hollywood glam pin-up calendar. Hopefully that will happen in time for 2018 release. In addition to my kitschy #dopesince1969 items for my online boutique, I'm also designing a line of barware to compliment my podcasts "Catch the Convo" and "Pillow Talk: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey" (I'm Niko Grey lol). Securing a deal with RumChata has been on my get list for over a year. I'm looking to be their brand ambassador. RumChata is the official liqueur for my podcasts.

Lastly, to become a part of an ensemble cast on one of Bravo's franchises, such as Real Housewives of Atlanta, would be a dream. Who dreams of being on reality TV one might ask? Me, that's who. It would be wonderful exposure for me personally and that can only help to catapult the Nicole Grays Owens brand. Who doesn't want a springboard into their own personal ideals for greatness?

Did I mention I'm also in the middle of renovating my parents home for myself? As you can see I'm pretty lazy and unmotivated. (Whispers “please send help...”.)

Jasmine: Where can you be found online/off-line?

Nicole:

Email: [email protected]

FB: Nicole Grays Owens (personal and fan page)

IG: @Nicole_Grays_Owens

Twitter: @IAmNicoleGOwens

YouTube: Nicole Grays Owens

Snap chat: NGO1969

Jasmine: Thank you, Nicole!

#interviewswithjasmine #Interviews #Interview #LA #Los Angeles #Nicole Grays Owens #Niko Grey #Pillow Talk #Rum Chata #Dopesince1969 #RHOA #Real Housewives of Atlanta #Bison #Celebrity Wardrobe Stylist #writer #clothing designer #weight loss journey #host

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