#kylo's autobiography
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Divider by @/firefly-graphics | Ao3 | Minors dni. | I block ageless & blank blogs as well as minors.
Name: Kylo/Winona/Jupiter
D.O.B: Feb. 9th, 1998 (I am currently in my 20s!)
Pronouns: Fae/Faer/Faers, Xe/Xem/Xyr, He/Him/His
Important: All headers/icons are credited within the quote in my description.
I have Autism & ADHD so please be patient with me, I am genuinely trying my best. I’m also very disabled/chronically ill.
I’m very about curating my space so I filter, block, & unfollow readily. This is to keep my mental health & well-being safe on the internet.
Under the cut is an explanation of how to use my neopronouns
Run down on how to use Xe/Xem & Fae/Faer pronouns:
(This goes from He -> They - > Xe for easy visual reference)
He -> They -> Xe -> Fae
Him -> Them -> Xem -> Faer
His -> Their/Theirs -> Xyr/Xyrs -> Faer/Faers
Himself -> Themself/Themselves -> Xemself/Xemselves -> Faerself/Faerselves
Brief sentence usage for each:
He is speaking -> They are speaking -> Xe are speaking (some do xe is speaking but---I hate that----so we're once again going to They/Them usage rules for Xe/Xem) -> Fae is speaking
Give it to him -> Give it to them -> Give it to xem -> Give it to faer
This is his -> This is theirs -> This is xyrs -> This is faers
He's all by himself -> They're all by themself -> Xe're all by xemself -> Fae're all by faerself
You can pronounce Xe/Xem as if you're saying it with a Z like in Xylophone!
I think there's another way to say Xe/Xem, but I prefer this pronunciation just like you can use Xe/Xem with He/Him usage rules, but I prefer it with They/Them usage rules instead!
You Pronounce Fae/Faer as if you're pronouncing Fairy/Fair!
#kylo rambles#kylo's love letters 🥺💗#kylo's friendship garden 💖💐#kylo's autobiography#kylo's faves#gifts from friends 💫💕#kylo's audhd/disability posting#rhea 🌙#day 💞🦇#crow rambles#crow's f/o world#crow's faves#crow's friendship garden 💖💐#crow's love letters 🥺💗#crow's audhd/disability posting#crow's autobiography
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I still miss Ben Solo.
I even miss Kylo Ren.
On reddit recently there were a number of people arguing that there was no way Ben/Kylo could survive the end of the sequel trilogy because of 'what he had done.'
This is not reality. This is fantasy.
It isn't an autobiography. It isn't a film inspired by true events.
It is a fantasy.
Fantasy is about escapism.
It is about dreams coming true, the impossible becoming possible.
If you apply the laws of reality to fantasy, then Han Solo would have been jailed for piracy, Leia would not have been allowed to marry a 'commoner', Poe Dameron would have been court martialled and not promoted, and Rey would have been refused entry into an order which valued perfection because of her kill list and her fondness for attacking unarmed opponents.
And we wouldn't have been laughing at the antics of Nandor, Nadja and Laszlo in What we Do In The Shadows because all three of them are remorseless killers.
Anyone remember the tv series Once Upon A Time? Two of its most memorable characters - Killian Jones, aka Captain Hook, and Mr Gold, aka Rumplestilskin, were also two of its most vicious.
Killian murdered Prince Charming's father in cold blood, as well as being a ruthless pirate for years. Mr Gold murdered countless innocents as well as his own wife. But both characters redeemed themselves and got their happy endings with the women they loved - Emma Swan and Belle.
Because fantasy isn't the real world but a place we can go to feel good.
Supreme irony....Disney made OUAT. The same Disney that also made films like Beauty and the Beast, a truly beautiful film with perhaps the happiest ending of all time.
Disney were the home of happy endings.
What has happened to them?
Some people are they've gone 'woke'.
Some argue it's the influence of Iger and Kennedy.
Whatever.
But at the end of the day the 'whys' don't matter.
All that matters is Disney have forever tainted themselves by taking one of the greatest space fantasies of all time - and turning it into a horror story.
The demonic uber villain rises from the dead and finally achieves his goal of killing off the Skywalkers (and Solos).
And Disney breathtakingly feel that replacing them with the demonic villian's granddaughter is a 'hopeful and satisfying' ending.
I still miss Ben Solo.
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get to know the mun
== BASICS
NAME: magpie
PRONOUNS: she/her
ZODIAC: cancer sun, scorpio ascending, taurus moon, mercury in leo
TAKEN OR SINGLE: single
SEXUALITY: het
== THREE FACTS
the book of margery kempe is the earliest english autobiography; as she was unable to read or write herself it was dictated to a scribe and written in third person
remy lebeau aka gambit debuted july 1990 in the uncanny x-men annual #14
erythema ab igne, also known as a hot water bottle rash or toasted skin syndrome, is a type of rash that appears as a red/hyperpigmented pattern across the skin from repeated overuse of hot water bottles, fireplaces, space heaters, heated blankets, resting your laptop on your thighs, and even headsets — basically anything with direct heat to skin. generally it is benign (and ime will fade over time if you take care to avoid direct heat on the area, it just may take a few weeks) but ofc always keep an eye on weird skin things
== EXPERIENCE
PLATFORMS USED: started off in forums (proboards, iirc) in supernatural rps, to livejournal, to insanejournal, to tumblr in... very early 2010s, i believe. the ability to have free floating muses after years in very tightknit, cliquey rp groups was so amazing i just never looked back. occasionally i'll rp on disco but i'm even more abysmal at keeping up there than i am here
PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEME: plotting can be fun if not constraining, but i prefer—given we mesh as writers and share an understanding of each other’s characters—to lay out the bones and then wing it. memes are relatively new to me. they’re fun, but i’m sadly unable to spend much time actually answering them. :’) i prefer to send when time allows.
== MUSE PREFERENCE
GENDER: n/a
MULTI OR SINGLE: generally i have usually stuck to single muse blogs, but the last couple of years it's been harder to keep them up, and while i tried my hand at multis or sideblogs none of them really lasted; i'd always come home to my girl rey. then the last couple of years a multi has been the best way to keep my general writing muse going even with hiatuses.
LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): eh, it's about the character and the chemistry more than the face
== FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT
FLUFF: love it, all about it. (and the more toxic the ship, the more i love it)
ANGST: yep, yep, yep
SMUT: see above ^
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tagged by:// @kylo-wrecked
tagging:// whoever wants to do this!
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Happy Friday darling Em!! ❤❤ For dealers choice: 12
????
why don’t i write context for these thoughts.
dealers choice is now my favorite thing.
———
OKAYYYYY let’s go to Book Club w the boys.
KYLO REN - has brought in Marylin Manson’s, Ozzy Osborn’s, Eminem’s, and Black Sabbath’s albums and autobiographies. brings his airpods for when someone else is presenting, they have been confiscated by Professor Zachary Adams many times. once brought in Twilight and pretended to bite Rick halfway through the presentation, he loves Twilight.
MATT THE RADAR TECH - Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Percy Jackson series, Death Note Manga, Soul Eater Manga etc... one of the only ones who participates with enthusiasm. he and Rick love to share what they find during the week.
BEN SOLO - brings old Playboy magazines he found in a cardboard box in the garage. stole them from Han, who has been asking the boys where his box of ‘tools’ is. likes to share his opinions on ‘80′s bush’ and fully shaved. brought in Handmaids Tale because he really liked the TV show.
CHARLIE BARBER - Fahrenheit 451, Shakespeare, Burn This, Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, anything that he can fangirl over. loves to talk about the theater and musical adaptations of the books he brings.
TOBY GRISONI - steals all of Charlies books.
PATERSON - poetry. personal poetry, he likes getting feedback. most is positive, Kylo cheers for him while every groans when he starts talking about waterfalls and the clouds and some shit. Clyde has cried on many occasions.
CLYDE LOGAN - Louis L’amour books, gunslingers and horses, Ten Little Indians by Agatha Christie. a few novellas.... which were taken by Professor Zachary Adams when he read the sex scenes out loud. Ben was very interested in sharing his porn stash with him.
FLIP ZIMMERMAN - brings in any book about war-has made every boy sob while reading Ghost Soldiers. also has brought in Pearl Harbor as an ‘audiobook’. has brought in authentic war props that may have ended up with a bomb scare and Kylo stealing a grenade. he was 10/10 tackled to the ground by Flip and given a broken arm.
PHILLIP ALTMAN - brought in his moms book about raising children, complained about how he was portrayed. had a big group hug from all the boys because his mom wrote about his penis and he cried when he tried to explain himself. was given cupcakes by Leia at the next meeting because she read the book and felt bad for him.
JAMIE MASSEY - brings in anything with Joaquin Phoenix in it, no books. only ‘films’, once brought in Blue is the Warmest Color and paused at the lesbian sex scene when all the boys got curious about scissoring. was confiscated by Professor Zachary Adams.
RICK SMOLAN - National Geographic! he dreams of being a nature photographer and he gushes about camera angles and lighting details when it’s his turn to share. Jamie boos him the entire time.
ADAM SACKLER - The Kama Sutra, thats the book he brings every fucking week. he does “research” at home on which positions actually work. everyone groans when he starts demonstrating on Rick because he can overpower him. has been swatted with a newspaper by Professor Zachary Adams.
PROFESSOR ZACHARY ADAMS - frustrated. it was such a bad idea to run an after-school reading club, the boys are giving him an ulcer and he has hit the Solo Triplets with a book at least six times-Leia is going to kill him.
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TAGGING:@finn-ray-nal-beads @onlykyloscenes @candycanes19 @desiraypark @historyandfandoms50 @caelum-phyriina-vermillon @ghoulian13 @mrs-kylo-ren @millenialcatlady @emeraldsiren20 @relationshipwithmybed @dancingmicrobes @wayward-rose @contesa-lui-alucard @daydreamsofren @insufferablelust @ohdamnadamm @mariesackler @caillea @safarigirlsp @jalexunderthestars @shesakillerkween @glassythoughts @zimmermansbrat @not-the-teen-witch
#all the boys#adam driver#adamdriver#dealers choice#ask fridays#1.29.2021#emeraldsiren20#kylo ren#ben solo#matt the radar tech#clyde logan#charlie barber#toby grisoni#paterson#flip zimmerman#phillip altman#jamie massey#rick smolan#professor zachary adams#adam sackler
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Memory is a Funny Thing
Memory is a funny thing. I can remember yesterday, and this morning. Sometimes what happened last Tuesday, but eventually it just all flows together. Little bits and pieces stand out. My 5th birthday at disney, although how much is from memory and how much from home movies is not a determined factor. Even after I’m older, like in high school, I only get bits and bobs. Painting the walls in my sophomore year for a prom I wasn’t invited to. Play rehearsals with friends, no lines, just sitting backstage laughing.
Memory is a funny thing. Like a stone hurtling down a river. It knocks into things, chips get taken out, but then the water smooths them over again, so you're not sure. Just reading emails and notes I wrote, I can’t even recognize myself. I thought I remembered certain events, but even those have been warped from years of stagnation.
Memory is a funny thing. Can it be trusted? What is from us and not stories of us that are told over and over? There are chips that are real and solid, that the waters of time hadn’t smoothed away, and I pick at them, to keep them fresh, keep them whole and alive. Even if it only buys me a few precious years, before it gets turned into what I’m remembering and not what actually happened. There are some cracks, few, that will never be whole, never be smooth. Pain cements these into your head, into your soul, sometimes love will do the same, but not as easily.
Memory is a funny thing. What happens when you can’t tell what is real from what is fiction?
This is a short poem? Story? I wrote about how my brain is feeling lately. Been going over and over in my head. Honestly I know I should be finishing up with my Kylo Ren thing but I’ve been working on a death autobiography. At least before I completely loose all my thoughts to this brain tumor lol. Once I’m out of work maybe I’ll have time for both :P
@stevieang, @albinotigerpython, @paintballkid711, @tnupsweetpie, @serenaphoenix81
#memory is a funny thing#poem#short story#side story#are our thoughts real?#how can we tell the difference in reality and fiction?
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How do you feel about Boba Fett coming back? Personally I’m really upset that the whiny fanboys are getting exactly what they want AGAIN 😤 Why do they only listen to the most toxic people?? Mandalorian was a great show, now idk if I’m going to watch season 2. I don’t want more meaningless nostalgia in Star Wars 😔
Ohhh boy. Buckle up folks; this is going to be a long one!
Little disclaimer before I begin; I don’t have any inside knowledge of Lucasfilm or Disney. I’ve just been collecting knowledge over the years from many different interviews, autobiographies, behind the scenes content, etc that inform my opinions. I’m merely a random citizen with binoculars trying to see what is going on over there, because it’s definitely been one train wreck after another these days.
Now let’s kick it!
I was conflicted about the Boba Fett news. The prequels were coming out when I was a kid, and I actually saw those movies before the originals; the prequels ARE my originals. They were Star Wars to me. When people mentioned SW, the first people that came to my head were Anakin, Obi Wan, and Padme; not Luke, Han, and Leia. I already knew who Vader was when I watched the originals because of this, and I also knew who Boba Fett was. He was Jango Fett’s son and a fellow clone of the troopers.
When I watched the originals, I felt like his death was stupid. Not because I thought his armor was cool, but because like I said; I knew who he was. So hearing that the official canon is bringing him back made me happy for that poor boy that watched his father get decapitated to have his chance at a more fulfilling ending. However, like you, I was annoyed. Because the fanboys have been getting everything they want lately even though they are never satisfied with it, and the women of the fandom have been largely ignored.
But I’ve been watching Gallery, the documentary about how The Mandalorian was made. Keep in mind it was being made around the same time as Tros, yet the themes and messages are completely the opposite. Dave Filoni gives a speech in the second episode of Gallery that covers the mythic storytelling of SW from The Phantom Menace to Return of the Jedi. It’s very powerful and is the essence of everything most of the female fans have been saying from Day 1.
This got me thinking about the behavior of certain LF employees on social media towards Reylos and female fans in general, while others have been very supportive and blatant that they didn’t like Tros. Actors in Tros that spoke of redemption and a unique ending for the movie that later changed to confused faces when asked how they felt about the film. Chaotic productions of films and shows that always result in “creative differences.” Empty nostalgia in Tros vs deeply thought out lore and heartfelt themes in the video games, tv shows, comics, novels, and TLJ. I feel like there is a civil war going on at Lucasfilm.
Some of them want nostalgia, fan service, Luke Skywalker as the untouchable God of Star Wars, evildoers to be punished without remorse, Rey to be the new vessel of God Luke that stays pure and stands alone, etc. The fanbros certainly back those people and I think Bob Iger/Disney does too. That’s why Tros happened; JJ said he was on the phone with Bob every day during production. And Bob told George Lucas that pleasing the fans was more important than anything else when The Force Awakens was being made, which GL did NOT agree with at all. He even admitted that GL said he felt betrayed by the vision Disney had for LF.
Dave Filoni and Kathleen Kennedy are massive GL fans and close friends of his. They worked with him a lot before Disney bought Lucasfilm, and they know how he likes his Star Wars and what it all means to him. I’m not KK’s biggest fan, but I don’t blame her for Tros; she has shown she ain’t afraid to fire people if they try to create something in SW that doesn’t match up with the themes of it, as seen with how she dumped Colin Trevarrow’s terrible script. She was personally responsible for both Adam Driver playing Kylo/Ben, and Rian Johnson directing TLJ. She tried to get Rian back for Tros but he was busy with Knives Out. She wanted to push back the release date so there was time to make sure the ending was fulfilling. She has said many times she wanted this era of SW to be for the younger generations and new fans, not retreading old ground and pleasing those who were in theaters for the originals. As soon as JJ was put in charge of the film, he was spending his time talking to Bob Iger instead of her. He also didn’t work with the Story Group at all, which shows why it creates so much dissonance with all the other stories in SW.
Meanwhile Rian worked closely with Story Group, exchanged notes with Dave Filoni, talked a lot with KK, etc. You could say he got an A+ on his homework! 😉 Rian was backing George’s vision and his themes and what he was trying to tell the world when he started production on A New Hope. GL liked TLJ a lot and talked to Rian right after he saw it to tell him it was beautifully made.
So, it seems the root of the problem here is the battle between the creators that support George’s inherently feminine and compassionate version of SW, and those that support Disney’s space ships and fanbros version of SW.
Dave Filoni is 100% on the side of George Lucas, KK, Rian Johnson, and good old Joseph Campbell’s version of Star Wars. He is the one that is in charge of all SW tv shows. He oversees The Mandalorian. Season 1 was marketed as a badass bounty hunter kicking butt through the Outer Rim, but it was actually about a lonely man longing for a family and a deeper purpose in life. Instead of just being a random guy kicking ass, he is a guy trying to protect his child from evil; it’s all about family. Like SW is supposed to be. Like what Tros miserably failed at and then attempted to claim it was.
Dave didn’t bring Maul back or Ahsoka back several times just to please fans. He did it because it was good for the story; those characters supported the themes of family and redemption and mythic storytelling in different ways. I don’t think he is bringing Boba Fett back for nostalgia; I think he is going to use him in a way that will develop the themes of the story and ultimately support GL, compassion, redemption, family, and love conquers all.
I don’t have any idea how yet, but all I’m saying is that the last season of Clone Wars had several shot for shot parallels to TLJ. There is a reason for everything he does, even the framing of a scene. So I have a lot of hope that bringing back a character from the dead will have a great reason too.
Let’s hope that someday George Lucas’ Star Wars wins the battle when it comes to Ben Solo as well. Until then, May the Force be With You!
#keep the faith!#even though it is hard right now#we do have people making SW stories on our side#boba fett#dave filoni#kathleen kennedy#george lucas#star wars#the mandalorian#the mandalorian spoilers#reylo#ben solo#kylo ren#tros#anti tros#ask#anon#tlj#rian johnson
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Get to Know You Meme
I was tagged by @goatsandgangsters (Thank you very much!)
Rules: Tag 9 people you would like to get to know better
Top 3 ships: I couldn’t possibly pick a top three so I’ll do my three most recent!
-Rafael Barba/Sonny Carisi from Law and Order. What a shame that this pairing is waning since Raul left the show!
-Kylo Ren/Armitage Hux from Star Wars. I can actually feel this beginning to move to the back burner since the release of the last film, but I’ll forever be grateful to the Kylux fandom for being the most active and creative I’ve ever followed.
-Edward Little/Thomas Jopson from The Terror. My new current obsession which has usurped Star Wars and Kylux! Just look at them! My god, they’re so pretty!
Last song (listened to): There Goes Our Love Again by White Lies. I’ve been a fan of this band since 2008/2009-ish. I’ve seen them live once when they and a few other bands supported Kings of Leon. I ended up leaving halfway through Kings of Leon’s set because I’d seen White Lies and they were fantastic so that’s all that mattered.
Lipstick or chapstick: Oh gosh. I do have a weakness for lovely vintage style lipsticks from Bésame, but I can’t live without chapstick for every day wear. I have a tendency for dry lips and the fact that I live next to the chilly northeast seaside AND have a habit of biting them doesn’t help either.
Last movie: I saw Jojo Rabbit on Monday in my favourite beautiful little independent cinema. I can’t recommend it enough: equal parts heartbreaking, poignant, and uplifting!
Reading: I’m currently reading Carly Simon’s autobiography Boys in the Trees. I’m not usually an autobiography person and I’m not a fan of Carly Simon’s music but my Mam recommended it after she’d finished reading it. I’m actually really enjoying it! She’s a talented writer and has lived a very interesting (if at times troubling) life.
I tag: @meyerlansky @madchenmarchen @legolambi @poedivameron @ah-lone-drah @penthesileas @maschinen-mensch @bettsfic @ghostlygal
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appendix, autobiography, volume 🤭🤭🤭
Hiya 💕 Answers below the cut!
📚book related asks
| Appendix: Overdone book trope that you still love?
God, I’m really really hesitant to say this, because when we talk about redemption arcs people usually think of Kylo Ren or Darth Vader or any other war criminal that, frankly, got too easy an end by dying. But talking about redemption, there’s something really Christian about it that I, as someone raised in a Catholic environment, I simply can’t be immune to it. And I think that’s why redemption stories are so popular, actually, because of this underlying idea in Western society of original sin and the Redeemer that comes to save us.
But! In my opinion that’s where people get it twisted: the idea that someone must save us from our sins. So there’s the son, the mother, the girlfriend that takes us to the light side. People seemingly can’t go past the idea of the Agnus Dei qui tollis peccata mundi, forgetting that even Christ couldn’t save the unrepentant criminal on the cross that didn’t want to be saved.
I think Dostoevsky — I know: again! I’m talking about him, again (I just have so much respect for him) — does redemption arcs in a superb way. There are two examples off the top of my head. Dmitri Fyodorovich, in Karamazov, and Rogozhin in The Idiot. Dmitri is not saved by Alyosha, the closest redeemer figure in the novel. Dmitri goes through an extreme transformation of the self by dealing with the consequences of his own mistakes. He goes from a suicidal state (that it’s only there because of his guilt in the first place) to the iconic:
And I seem to have such strength in me now, that I think I could stand anything, any suffering, only to be able to say and to repeat to myself every moment, ‘I exist.’
He’s not saved from the narrative, au contraire, he ends the novel in a state of social disgrace, though not in a place of total despair. There’s hope in the end. Rogozhin, on the other hand, is the friend Prince Myshkin tries to stop from committing a crime through the whole length of The Idiot. Rogozhin is unrepentant in the end. No amount of goodwill from Prince Myshkin is able to save him. Talking about reverse parallels! To conclude, I think I’ve got too much of that existential guilt (the one, you know the one) to be immune to the concept of making up for my own mistakes.
| Autobiography: Who is the protagonist you most relate to?
This one is really hard because I can relate to all characters at all times lol, maybe because I’m a tad too empathic. I remember feeling a connection with Maria Bolkonskaya in War and Peace, but also with the aforementioned Alyosha if only because he’s a better version of myself. He’s got this strong association with education and children which is something that I used to volunteer at (and that I would like to do again). Jane Austen’s Catherine Morland is a pretty popular ID character for many people if only because she’s got her head in the clouds at all times. I also felt a connection with the depressed narrator of White Nights, if only for his famous: “My God, a moment of bliss. Why, isn’t that enough for a whole lifetime?” because I too am still struggling with this concept. Why isn’t that enough? Why do we always hunger for happiness?
| Volume: Last book you dnf?
I honestly don’t remember! At the moment I’ve got some unfinished books in my kindle library but that’s because they’re poetry or essay collections so I like to read them when the inspiration strikes. But I will finish them, eventually.
Thank you for having the patience to read all the way down through this gigantic answer! You’re the best and a darling
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City of Saints and Madmen thoughts story by story lmao here @chemicalkin here’s your debriefing. maybe i should wait until we’ve finished the other Ambergris books, but
honestly, my favorite part of Dradin, In Love is the later reveal that it’s a goddamn autobiography. i’m not even sure what that changes, if anything -- except maybe just that Dradin is actually Even Weirder than he already comes off, because he’s perfectly happy to write such a damning autobiography. actually a cute story about someone objectum-oriented meeting the love of his life and that’s the way we’re interpreting it hush
An Early History of Ambergris is fun and Duncan Shriek is the snarkiest academic. just, very good outline of everything, yeah? good contextualization. :V footnotes!
The Transformation of Martin Lake is the perfect treatise on the death of the composer? author and how knowledge of the artist’s experiences changes the interpretation of their art. or maybe someone else would come out with a different interpretation hahahah. it’s just. very good. second favorite story.
so the thing about The Strange Case of X is that its “twist” was. obvious. (”and then I flew back to Tallahassee” “... what the fuck”) and yet (1) the switch from third to first person was wild and i still love it, lmao, and (2) it’s really necessary to contextualize the appendix. Serpent ended up liking it a bit more because of, in his words, “fucking fictive world-hopping problems right?”
X’s Notes are, like, brrr right. and just like, his note that he wants more reading material even if he “theoretically” wrote it all himself which is a goddamn wild thought to have, huh?
The Release of Belacqua kills me too much for such a short thing because it reminds me of my favorite Vonnegut novel, Breakfast of Champions, and its end “release” of Kilgore Trout as a character (even though he kept writing him). “He is not a character. This has never been a story” found its way as an echo into my head, oops.
King Squid is my favorite story and i want to protect this screwy squidanthrope forever; this is my official Murderboy With A Sad Backstory i’m stanning (though he hardly counts for the category). i wasn’t super into the first part, like okay blah blah squids, but the annotated-bibliography-as-story killed me too much to not love it.
does The Hoegbotton Family History count as a story (yes yes it does) it’s just kinda. there. anyway.
The Cage was a trip just because I couldn’t forget the goddamn framing device of “this is a fictional story written by an Ambergrisian author.” like, what info in it is “canon Ambergris” and what is the fiction created by the author?? who knows?? also, “creating a physical imitation of a traumatizing scene in order to try to better understand it” is such a specific thing lmao
In the Hours After Death is just an enjoyable read, yeah? i feel like there should be more to say but yeah.
The Man Who Had No Eyes apparently was fully encrypted in earlier versions of the book, which is wild to me. decrypting the last bit took long enough (imagine us trying to count numbers out loud while Kylo, upset that noises are coming out of my mouth, tries to claw over the monitor we’re reading on), and like, obviously i’m gonna compare that to the other story i remember decrypting something for, which is House of Leaves, and the experience of writing this one out was. more than that. *lays down*
The Exchange is cute for X’s notes/talk about Madnok. like, that’s probably the point, the “story” itself not really being much at all, but i just like X and Madnok both as characters and i’m happy they’re inexplicably in contact :V
Learning to Leave the Flesh. so. the funny thing to me is that it’s framed as a “precursor” to Ambergris. actually, it reads to me as a precursor to goddamn Southern Reach. in so many little ways that it probably would be its own post, but like, yeah. VanderMeer sure has his Themes huh
maybe placed elsewhere The Ambergris Glossary would be fine, but it’s such a too-funny, too-straightforward thing to follow something like Learning to Leave the Flesh, like goddamn it, you can’t end on this.
- Ace
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So, in humble offering for my failure to publish this All The Plot And Many Feelings Too chapter in a timely way, I bring you a tiny, self-indulgent drabble of Rey wallowing in Kylo’s books.
When she can’t take it anymore, she does go into the bedroom and read his books. She scans for the most dog-eared, tattered, water-damaged book she can find, because she wants to know what he likes best. Tolkien, is her first guess, and at first she thinks she might be right, because he actually has two copies of The Lord of the Rings, an immaculate box set and a trio of garish paperbacks. But as she starts to tip them off the shelf, she sees next to them the mass-market copy of Speak, Memory, opened so often the spine is almost unreadable, and as she reaches for that, she sees that the book beside it, The Once and Future King, is so battered it’s actually held together with a rubber band; she hesitates, because she doesn't want to mess with it if it's actually falling apart. So she reads Speak, Memory, bemusedly absorbing the alien and beautiful details of an aristocratic Russian childhood until he comes home and finds her there, in front of his shelves. Then she taps the rubber-banded book. "Your favorite?"
"Sort of," he mumbles. "I mean." He clears his throat. "Those are my comfort books. That shelf. That's why they're so easy to get to." And it's true that this shelf must be just below shoulder height for him, everything on it easily grasped, and there's only the one row, instead of the two-deep shelving everywhere else.
"Comfort books?"
"Books you re-read when you're sad. When you need to feel... soothed, or consoled."
She holds up the Nabokov she's been reading. "This man who thinks he's too good for sleep is consoling?"
He blushes. "It's good prose."
She supposes it is, at that. "Does that mean you have uncomfortable favorites, too?"
He rests his hand on another shelf, higher up, in a different case, and she peers at it. Collected Poems, Philip Larkin. La peste. Blindness. The Last Samurai. Autobiography of Red.
She marks them with her eyes, and asks him about his Hebrew books, and their sharp-edged, scholarly English companions, hardbacks from university presses with plain covers and colons in their titles. She recognizes a few from Rabbi Luke’s shelves.
In Rey's experience, people's books, particularly their favorite books, form patterns, and the patterns say things. Finn’s books (The Power Broker and The Origins of Totalitarianism and The Complete Sherlock Holmes) say, like a calm doctor, What happened here? And Rose’s books (Anne of Green Gables and Fingersmith and A Wizard of Earthsea) say, It can be better than this; I know it can. And Poe’s books (Capital and This Bridge Called My Back and possibly every title Haymarket and Verso ever published) say, It will be better; we will make it better; but how?
Ben’s books say, It will all go wrong, and I will be alone when it does.
As she skims through his favorites, comfortable and uncomfortable, she finds societies collapsing like dominoes. Kingdoms fall, plagues turn civilization into anarchy. And she finds lonely, brilliant little boys, often ugly, often sick. And she finds only one mark, in all the books; he does not write in his books (though it seems he sometimes throws them across the room or leaves them outside in the weather), but one stanza of poetry, with its leading line, is gently underlined in pencil.
Isolate rather this element
That spreads through other lives like a tree
And sways them on in a sort of sense
And say why it never worked for me.
Something to do with violence
A long way back, and wrong rewards,
And arrogant eternity.
The poem is called "Love Again."
She wants to ask him what the wrong rewards are, or were. What makes eternity arrogant? She is not a big reader of poetry herself; her own books (Island of the Blue Dolphins and White Fang and Miss Rumphius), she thinks, say Out of my way and let me fix it, a message few poets seem interested in. But he comes home and his eyes are so anxious; she just puts her arms around him, and sways with him, back and forth.
“You’re like a tree,” she tells him. “A big warm tree.”
“Cut me down,” he says, smiling at her “and turn me into paper.”
#kohelet 3:16#Are there many little boys who think they are a Monster? But in my case I am right said Geryon to the Dog they were sitting on the bluffs#I'm going to go check AO3 for Autobiography of Red fanfic now#Is there a genderbent reylo crossover one yet i wonder#philip larkin is a horrible misogynist but sometimes he's so right it hurts very badly
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Here we go my South Park TFBW new kid sona
REGULAR GAME RELATED STATS
-Her name is Sarah Nac (cuz it wouldn’t quite be a sona if she wasn’t)
-She’s a Chaotic Atheist (She looked Jesus in the eye and told him that)
-She’s technically a Bisexual Demi-Girl, but PC Principal didn’t give her that option so she’s officially listed as a Bisexual Cis Girl. She is kind of upset that PC Principal does not define her gender or sexuality correctly but she appreciates him for trying to make the school more inclusive so she doesn’t say anything.
- Her parents might have been giving her medicine that inadvertently make her farts really powerful, but the real reason her farts are powerful is because she has IBS and doesn’t have the best diet in the world.
-They refer to her super hero sona as The Amazing Butthole, but her actual super hero name is Miss IBS
EXTRA CHARACTER FLAVOR IVE ADDED
-She is voiced by Kristen Schaal
-She is a big fan of Garfield and has posters and memorabilia of him in her room (yes Garfield the fat orange cat)
-She LOVES to sew. Why do you think she was able to craft all those costumes? She’s very passionate about sewing. Her basement is her craft room
-She also loves cosplay, hence why she loves sewing. She doesn’t mind making costumes for her and her friends
-Sewing is her passion, but she also loves other arts and crafts. She likes to draw or write her ideas in sketch books
-She enjoys Star Wars only for Kylo Ren, much to Kevin Stoley’s dismay
-She is a self claimed goth. She has all the gothic interests and her wardrobe would be considered pastel goth, but alas she has not been accepted by the goth kids as an official goth (she doesn’t drink coffee, she doesn’t smoke, and she doesn’t completely hate her life only a little)
-She’s actually very intrigued with sex, unlike most girls her age. She understands, however, that she is too young to engage in it herself. She also likes to keep this part of her a secret from the others. She stocks up on sexual education books and porn star autobiographies about their sex lives in order to gain as much knowledge as possible about sex. The more knowledge she has the better prepared she’ll be to actually do it when the time is right. In order to read this material out in public (especially at school), she has designed boring looking book covers for them so no one suspects anything or tries to get nosy in what she’s reading. Kenny McCormick is the only one that knows she’s reading about sex because of good observational skills.
-She has OCD of the contamination variety. She said her kryptonite was Crab People but really its bodily fluids. She tries very hard not to say anything about it to the boys so they don’t make fun of her especially since her super powers rely on her flatulence. She carries Clorox wipes with her everywhere she goes to wipe down toilets she needs to use.
-Shes terrified of Mr. Hankey and his wife. Having to selfie with them was the worst couple seconds of her life.
EXTRA BACK STORY IVE ADDED
-I’ve made it this way ever since I was into South Park in goddamn 1st grade, but she is the cousin of Eric Cartman.
-Even though her parents get along now that she fixed their relationship by making them tell her the truth about her existence in South Park, she still resents her dad. Not because he “fucked her mom” as Cartman and Butters suggest, but because she’s seen how abusive he could be to her mom. Making her cry, making her drink, calling her names. In a way, Nac misses the timeline where she chopped her father’s head off. She is extra vigilant on his behavior and makes sure he’s not being mean to her mom.
-Her father can kind of tell she doesn’t like him much, especially since she goes all out for gifts on Mother’s Day but Father’s Day she gets him scrappy presents and never makes him anything. Hell she even makes or gets nicer gifts for Aunt Lianne and Cartman.
-This treatment of him actually leads him to start fighting with her mom again, in which they finally decide to get a divorce because it was never working out anyways. Nac is happy about this, and chooses to live with her mom. Her dad was forced to move out of South Park.
RELATIONSHIPS
-She’s not very popular, despite her powers to gain lots of followers on social media.
-Most of the boys consider her to be “one of the boys” and often misgender her even though they are fully aware she’s a girl. She doesn’t bother correcting them as she’s happy to just have some friends to play with.
-The only girls who are kind to her and refer to her by her proper gender is Wendy and Bebe. All other girls shun her and don’t like her much.
-She had a huge crush on Craig Tucker ever since she moved to South Park. He started dating Tweek, which made her resentful of Tweek. When they started fightingand broke up, Nac was happy and thought maybe she could make a move. However, she was coerced into going to counceling with them because they viewed her as their “level headed friend” and in that she inadvertently repaired a relationship she had no intention of repairing. After seeing them get back together and being impossibly inseperable, Nac has admitted defeat. She is very heart broken over this and goes into relationship solitude until she’s in high school.
-She also had a crush on Henrietta Biggle, but the goths don’t accept her and consider her a conformist. Unlike with Craig, who had a friendship with her, she barely knew Henrietta so it didn’t hurt as much.
-Her closest friend is Scott Malkinson. He’s the only one that listens to her and empathizes with her pain. He’s also the only one to acknowledge her gender (idk if any in game quotes had him refer to new kid as a boy but those don’t count in my canon). He has a huge crush on her that he’s actually too afraid to admit until high school. In high school he admits his feelings to her and they end up dating and being high school sweet hearts. This is also great because he gets to stick it to Cartman cuz look now I’m dating you’re beautiful cousin and there’s nothing you can do about it I’m family now Diabetes is part of your family now. (Also I imagine him leaning in to cartman’s ear when their seniors in high school and whispering “I fucked your cousin” and Cartman putting his fists in the air and shouting “NOOOOOO” into the sky)
-She is also good friends with Butters Stotch, Jimmy Valmer, Kevin Stoley, and sometimes Kenny McCormick.
#south park#the fractured but whole#south park the fractured but whole#sptfbw#ill be making pics of her soon
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Emily darling!!!
I love all your thoughts but I was specifically delighted by your first impression of Gorgeous that you shared with me.
It just so perfectly describes the feeling of having a really powerful crush on someone and how it’s intense and petty at the same time, if that makes sense.
Intense and petty!!! ugh I know!!!! Title of my autobiography bY THE WAY.
I’m also so attached to this post and all your kylo tags in general. you’re the hilariously blunt and specific kylo voice of my SOUL.
I also love several of the conversations we’ve had about heaviness and lightness and why and how that feeling can descend out of nowhere. I feel like we feel the same way about this.
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Millicent is Missing
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2oRkKM8
by Xperine
The heating on the cruiser is broken, and so is Hux's heart. Millicent has disappeared. Will Kylo, Phasma, and Hux be able to find her so Hux will stop complaining? It's a big ship, and the temperature is dropping...
Be witness to yet another display of Kylo and his eight-pack's abilities. Yes he does indeed have one. No, I'm not making it up at all. He just always wears a cape because it's more intimidating. Oh, you want to see it? Sorry, it's too cold. And your brain would probably explode. But it's there. I promise.
A completely true and i'll kill you if you disagree autobiography by Kylo Ren
Words: 1471, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 3 of The Adventures of Kylo Ren: Dark Leader of the Knights of Ren, Grandson of the Coolest Sith Ever, and All Around Totally Shredded Badass -By Kylo Ren
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Millicent the Cat (Star Wars), Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren, Phasma (Star Wars)
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, but not really - Relationship
Additional Tags: Lost things, general panic, Pets, Winter, Knit Clothing, pink socks, Typos, bad grammar, Sorry Not Sorry, small Harry Potter reference, Attempt at Humor
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2oRkKM8
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Theory: Anakin Reincarnated as Rey
SOooo…
:D
Next week I hope to have another entry for classic lit Reylo Trasherpiece Theater. I have seemingly lost my glasses on vacation and am using an old cracked pair (I feel like Harry Potter). Therefore, it’ll probably be brought to you by Visine.
Meanwhile, I guess I’ll continue with my thoughts on the Rey parentage/origin theories. Which was my original intent of this blog: to soapbox ideas other than Rey-is-a-Skywalker with hopes of Reylo. Until I got kicks-and-giggles at how bad I could make bad photoshop. Yay poor time management. I’m going to get to those New Year resolutions next month.
This month’s theory: Rey = Anakin Re-born / Reincarnated.
Around this time last year, I became aware of this idea via posts on Instagram. I looked but can’t re-find them :( Anywho, there’s lots on of vids on Youtube about it, if you’re not schooled in it already.
It hit me out of left field. But, once I pondered it, I thought it was very creative and unique. Well argued.
Star Wars has always borrowed concepts from various religions. If done right, employed in a Star Wars-y way, I could accept weaving in some reincarnation.
For Star Wars in general, the idea has potential to explain some things…
· Do we know all of the Chosen One prophecy?
· Why did Anakin’s lightsaber call to Rey?
· Why is Rey, who seemingly grew up alone without teachers, mechanically gifted?
· Why is part of her mind “blocked off”?
· Why does she seem to almost “remember” the Force?
· Why Kylo Ren ‘knew’ her, aka “It is you”?
· Why Rey had a voice in her mind?
· Why Luke looked all “Argh” at her…
Also, do special Jedi get to go to Force Ghost purgatory, until, perhaps, they are reborn/reincarnated?
And, I guess, if Rey was Anakin’s reincarnate, it could potentially be interesting if we eventually saw the reincarnate of Obi-wan and Yoda, too…
Some have called this too Avatar-esque.
However, my main criticism and biggest concern with this theory: Does it lessen Rey’s character? Do we, as a fandom, in 2017, need this girl to be the reincarnate of a man to explain her strength?
So, I’m still on-the-fence about it. I’m always open to well-done plots, but at the same time, for my potential “daughters’ daughter” (Sister Suffragette – Mary Poppins, also a Disney film!) I want Rey to stand on her own merit. Being the descendant of a powerful and/or well-known character is different than actually being them and/or having all their power.
Therefore, this theory feels tricky. True, it could explain some things and add a new spiritual element that wouldn’t feel out of place in Star Wars. But for me, it would have to be subtle, and not the in-your-face welcome to the wonderful world of midichlorians.
I might be able to enjoy there being a prophecy about reincarnation in the Star Wars universe (and no, not just cause of my Harry Potter glasses). Maybe if it’s something Luke’s discovered in/at the first Temple? Maybe, maybe, if Anakin’s spirit so-to-say has been reborn many times as various powerful male and female Force users over the centuries? I could see a whole new canon comic series about this. It could go all the way back to the beginning of the Force. First Force-user ever?
But in the context of Reylo…this is a bit weird.
This would take Kylo Ren’s obsession with Vader to a creepy, maybe even kinky level. (I mean, if Caps was the spirit of my grandmother…hmm, let’s not go there…)
Dunno if I could get into that. It would be objectifying on Ren’s part. Like taking a page out of Jabba’s autobiography. And it would only work if, say, he felt that way initially and his character grew and changed for the better. But seriously, he already has a lot of emotions to sort out.
Alternatively, there is the idea that Ben could be the reincarnation of Padme. Meaning via Reylo the thwarted, tragic lovers, Anakin and Padme, could get a second chance at doing-it-right. Tons of unfinished business there. Very much a mythical feel. Only slightly reminiscent of The Fountain or Cloud Atlas.
Deep down, my fangirl heart melts. However, logically, I’m struggling for a reason Padme, an assumed non-Force sensitive, would come back. In regards to how she died? Prophecy? Anakin’s Force ghost powers? Luke gets wishes at the First Jedi Temple and is all “Sure wish I could see my parents again…Aah! Next time I’ll be more specific!”
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@tcnebrism the title of kylo’s autobiography: #(kylo voice) not now boner
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“Is that semen on my Kylo Ren shirt?”
An autobiography by me.
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