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lavenderbang · 1 year

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Felix and Your Tavern <3

A/N: Okay Okay, so I’m gonna do this bullet point form cause 1)I’m kinda lazy to explain everything and have proper sentence structure, etc., 2) This would be much longer than it already is if I wrote it normally, and 3) I’ve had this concept in mind for a fantasy au with Felix for a while and my brain go brrr, so I need to share it. Anyways, I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes and for how messy this will be, but I hope you enjoy my brainrot nonetheless!

**Warnings: Fighting(shouting, kinda physical), swearing, alcohol mentions, running away from home !!! [reader also is called the term “wife”]**

Part I Part II

W.C: 9.4k

So you first met Felix, he was known as Prince Yongbok of the Clé kingdom, Second son to King and Queen Lee

You were employed by them to be the young prince’s courtier, which was a great honour to you, as you came from a family with no particular title or wealth

You were chosen due to shown proficiency in intelligence, manners, strength, respect during the summer tournament; all good qualities to hopefully rub off on the prince

He was known as the trouble child

blowing off his duties often to do things that were unsightly of the royal family, such as baking, gardening, and other pleasantly activities.

Your first day on the job was a mess, as you couldn’t even find the boy for half of the morning

He was up before the break of dawn out in the greenhouse tending to roses when you finally found him. He did not look up at you as he continued his work, humming to himself pleasantly.

not only was he still in his night wear, dark shaggy hair sticking out in all different directions and skin dull and dry

but he was also covered in dirt and water, creating stains and spots on the loose tunic he wore to sleep.

“Come with me, your majesty. It’s time for your dance lessons.”

“Oh, no thank you. I’d like to stay here and prune these roses. You are free to take your leave for the day!”

You were quite taken aback, as you were quite unsure what to do at this time. Did you obey Prince Yongbok, who was giving you direct orders or stick to the schedule that was given to you by the Queen and the King?

Fearing the Queen and the King more, you stood firmly in your place and cleared your throat.

Felix looked up at you for the first time with a furrowed brow and a pout. He was surprised at your blatant disobeying of his orders, yet you seemed to intrigue him nonetheless

“I really must insist, your majesty. As your courtier-”

“what is your name?” He interrupted you, tilting his head curiously at you

“(L/N) (Y/N). I am your new courtier after the last one was fired.”

“Do you know why they were fired?” The prince asked abruptly, setting the pot of roses aside and leaning over the workbench they sat on to get a closer look at you.

“Of course not, your majesty. It isn’t my business.” You said firmly, feeling like you were under a microscope with how his gaze wracked over your form. He looked like a cat playing with a mouse before eating it.

“It was because they failed to morph me into the perfect little prince that my parents want.” Prince Yongbok said, carting one of his dirty hands through his hair. You stood stiffly in front of him, trying not to waiver.

“And I assume you’ll eventually be fired for the same reason.” He hummed, a hint of venom laced in his tone as he pushed off the workbench and came around to approach you.

“My brother might be the prodigy son; heir to the throne, the golden child.... But you can’t change me. And standing here with a stick up your ass won’t make a difference.” Prince Yongbok scoffed, standing straight with his arms crossed over his chest.

You had to admit, the Prince was a bit intimidating, irritated expression painting his features. but luckily, you were able to hold your ground well enough. You weren’t going to let some bratty prince cost you your job.

“I don’t want to change you, your majesty.” You said, tone even and eyes stone cold.

The prince seemed surprised by you standing your ground, expression faltering just a bit.

“However, you have duties as a royal that need attending to. And seeing as your duties are given to you by the king and queen themselves, if you are to disobey them, it’ll be treason.”

you weren’t scared of some pretty boy prince. He was all talk, and you could tell when his expression shifted from annoyed to one of worry.

“So I suggest you come with me to your dance lesson, your majesty. Unless you want me to call for the guards to come and get you instead?”

Checkmate

Prince Yongbok gaped at you, processing what you had said in his head before letting out a exasperated sigh when he realized you were technically right.

He grumbled out a reluctant agreement before following you outside the greenhouse as you lead the prince back inside to be cleaned up for his lesson.

“We can come back out here later to tend to the flowers more if you’d like. This afternoon if you finish your history lesson early?” You proposed as you reached the door to get inside.

while you were strict with his schedule, you really meant it when you said you didn’t want to change Prince Yongbok.

so compromising on his activities seemed like a pleasant solution for both parties.

Prince Yongbok seemed to agree, enthused he was going to be allowed to come back out to the greenhouse later.

None of the previous courtiers were like you; they were mean and strict, shouting at Yongbok for hours, yet their gripes with him fell of deaf ears.

or they were pushovers, leaving Yongbok alone for their entirety of their stay at the castle.

But you were different.

You were stern, yet gentle

Prince Yongbok didn’t know how to feel about you.

But as your time together grew, the Prince seemed to warm up to you a bit more.

Sure, he still avoided going to his lesson and tried to barter his way out of attending the royal court, but you always made sure to reward the Prince with some recreational activities later in the afternoon or evening (depending when he was finishing his lessons)

He spoke to you in a nicer way now, yet he was still distant. Just polite, but not friendly.

He spoke to you as if you weren’t a real person, just a personified schedule.

It didn’t really matter to you

not at all

as long as he was fulfilling his duties, which he was

for the price of an hour of recreational activities before bed.

You have learned he was really good at baking, and he always seemed happiest while he was down in the lower level kitchen with the servants.

And he always made sure to interact with them, speaking casually like they are all old friends.

However, there was one question you did have about when he was with the servants

you finally decided to ask one day as you were bringing the prince to his quarters after a long day of working.

“your majesty, may I ask you something?”

“sure, go ahead.”

“I noticed while we were down in the kitchen today, you were speaking to the servants...”

Prince Yongbok stopped in the corridor to turn and face you. His expression was a lot softer than usual, lips pursed, slight grin adorning his features. He was feeling the same sense of intrigue the day you had met, except there was now an underlying adoration that had grown from being around you

He looked like the sun, bright and curious.

“They call you by a different name... Felix, they call you.”

“Yeah, they do.” The prince nodded in agreement, grin growing as you frown, confused at how casual the situation was.

“why?” you asked, lifting your gaze to meet his eyes. you’d never met a royal who voluntarily spoke to servants, let alone let them call them by a nickname so freely.

the situation nipped at your curiosity, so you finally had to ask.

Prince Yongbok smiled fondly at your confusion, a little giggle bubbling up from his chest.

“The servants aren’t as educated as you and me, so the name Yongbok is sometimes hard for them to pronounce. So I told them to give me a new name. an easier name.” The prince explained, as if it clarified anything to you.

“your majesty, why would you allow them to call you by your name and not your majesty anyways?” You asked, tucking your bottom lip in between your teeth as you couldn’t hold in your obvious confusion.

Yongbok couldn’t help his smile from growing

you were so endearing to him in this moment

“Because they are people (Y/N).” He hummed, turning around and continuing his walk towards his chambers.

Your brain froze for a second as you tried to understand his thought process, before you followed behind Prince Yongbok.

“you say they are people... however, you have me call you by your title. Am I not a person too, your majesty?”

You let the words tumble out before you even register what you said. once you do, you immediately slap a hand over your mouth and bow furiously at the prince, who has stopped dead in his tracks.

“Forgive me, Your majesty! I spoke without-”

“so that’s what this is all about!” The prince lets out a laugh, turning to look at you as you stiffen out of fear.

“Look, (Y/N), you could have just asked if you wanted to call me by Felix too.” He huffed playfully, enjoying watching you squirm nervously under his gaze.

You looked cute, nervously fiddling with them hem of your sleeve

“I-no! that’s not what I meant your majesty! I was simply-” You began, before the prince silenced you with a gentle wave of his hand. You felt like you were going to explode, tears threatening to spill over your cheeks.

you were embarrassed at your unprofessionalism, but most of all, you were worried you had upset the prince or offended him by having him think you were being rude and ungrateful.

But Prince Yongbok just looked at you sweetly, the corners of his lips quirked up playfully.

“(L/N) (Y/N), as my courtier, I give you full permission to call me Felix. I actually wish you would have asked me sooner.”

You feel your nerves unravel, like the tight coil in the pit of your stomach releasing all the pressure. You felt like you were made of jello, but in a good way.

“You do?” You asked tentatively, trying your best to save face as much as possible.

“yeah. It’s awkward how formal our relationship is when we spend everyday together. This way, it’ll make me more comfortable around you.” The prince explained

you reached his door, meaning it was time to send him off to bed. You had felt a great wave of relief, which must have shown on your face because Yongbok let out a chuckle.

“See you tomorrow (Y/N). Good night!” The prince hummed, waving you off as he opened his door and slipped inside his room

“good night... Felix.” You said softly. Felix couldn’t help the sudden quickening of his heartbeat and the drop of his stomach when he heard the name tumble form your lips.

his name

It sounded great coming from your mouth, he thought

and so, with the establishing of names, your relationship with Felix became a lot more friendly as the months went on

of course, when you were with the king and queen, you called him by his title, no matter how much it caused Felix discomfort.

He hated to admit it, but he had grown very accustom to you being by his side everyday; more than just a courtier, but as a friend.

he enjoyed your company. You were a good listener, and you always tried to provide a solution to his problems when he shared them

not to mention you encouraged him to do what he enjoyed, which nobody had ever done before.

you made him feel cared about, which made him really happy.

yep, you were a good friend alright!

just a friend, though.

nothing more!

...

okay so maybe Felix was starting to fall in love with you.

It wasn’t his fault that on top of being nice, you were also very pretty and it wasn’t his fault he got butterflies whenever you praised him or encouraged him

but as much as Felix wanted to tell you the truth about his not so platonic feelings, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable

you were forced to spend every day with him no matter what, so he’d probably never forgive himself if he upset you and you just had to stick around anyways.

relationship with each other aside, today was a very important day

The royal family from the neighboring kingdom Naevis was to come today and present Felix’s older brother with his suitor.

Minho was the eldest Lee prince, heir to the throne of Clé. He was a perfect fit for the throne too!

responsible, poised, hard working, and very caring of his subjects.

Felix tried not to be spiteful of his brother, despite the constant comparisons made between the two by his parents.

Nonetheless, Felix knew his brother would make a good king, and a good husband to whoever he was set to marry.

However, he was just as surprised as you were when he was also presented a suitor for the same kingdom

Her name was Winter and she was as beautiful as fully bloomed chrysanthemum and brighter than the stars in the sky

she was sweet like honey and smarter than most tutors,

she was so full of life

She was what any young prince could ask for when it came to a suitor

but Felix couldn’t help the sick feeling burning up in his throat at the proposal

Of course the king and queen accepted the marriage proposals for both of their sons

The alliances between the kingdom would be twice as strong now, which was very advantageous for both Clé and Naevis

Minho had been set to marry the eldest daughter Karina for many years now, so the two were pretty well acquainted already

But Felix had only ever spoken to Winter twice in his whole life

and with that, it was only formal greetings...

and now he was being told they would be married by next spring?

it was all too much too fast.

and of course, she wasn’t you.

As Felix’s courtier, you had advised the king and queen schedule a few meetings a week with Winter into Prince Yongbok’s weekly duties, to help them feel more comfortable with each other

of course, the queen and king expected you to chaperone the young royals during these meetings

you accepted the responsibility with great honour

but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling tugging at your heart

you spent everyday with Felix, and through the months of working with him, he had become a lot more responsible with his duties

you were excited he was able to move to the next step towards becoming a proper royal with such a lovely suitor

so why did you feel nauseous at the sight of them together?

You were supposed to be happy your majesty was finally going to live the life he was supposed to

so why did you want so badly to jump in between then while they strolled through the garden with their arms linked?

You didn’t know why you felt that way

Well...

you did know.

But you didn’t dare mutter a thought of those feelings aloud at anytime!

it wasn’t your place to get in the way of Felix’s destiny

With the announcement of the engagement, there was a rift created in your relationship with Felix. One where you went back to a more professional demeanor and he stopped being as talkative.

Felix hated it

he hated every moment he had to spend with Winter because he didn’t want to marry her.

And as more meetings happened and more time went on, the wedding drew closer

and you pulled even farther away from Felix

you had lost all the life and became a shell of a person who barely spoke a word to Felix besides what his schedule was and where he was to meet with Winter

You even refused to stay with him while he was out in the greenhouse or in the kitchen with the servants, opting to stay outside the the doorway awaiting to escort the prince to bed.

He was lucky you still allowed him the free time he wasn’t entitled to, but it made him unhappy with you now gone from them.

The final straw was when you called him by his title.

“Good night (Y/N).” Felix said weakly, pushing open the door to his room.

“Good night, your majesty.” You mumbled, bending at the waist to bow to the prince. Felix felt like he had been shot with an arrow as he froze in place.

Truthfully, he felt his anger bubble up and spill over, face stone cold as he stared at you

“What did you say to me?” He spat, eyes meeting yours as you rose from your bow. You looked unfazed, lips pressed into a thin line.

“I said good night, your majesty.” You replied flatly. As you were turning to leave, you were shocked as Felix firmly grasped your wrist and tugged on it, making you turn to face him

You could feel irritation ignite in you as you glared at him

Normally, you’d be afraid of being fired, but you secretly hoped you were fired

it would be easier than seeing him everyday

“No.” He growled, roughly yanking you into his room before going to slam the door behind you

“Your majesty-” You sighed restlessly, but were quickly cut off by Felix.

“What happened between us?” He said, raising his voice as he came closer to you.

He looked scary now; dark eyes burning with a fury, jaw firm and expression heated as he brushed his dark hair away from his face. You felt afraid of his strong demeanor, but knew deep down he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.

When you didn’t answer him, he just continued, pacing back and forth with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You don’t even talk to me anymore. You act like I don’t even exist beyond being a task for you! And on top of that, you are calling me by my title now... Is this all business to you?! What happened?! Did I do something to upset you?” Felix huffed, letting all the anger from the past few months spill out.

“No, you didn’t do anything.” You replied, fighting back the tears that were threatening to leak from your eyes.

no, you had to stay strong

“I’m sorry for upsetting you, your majesty. I’ll refrain from doing that in the future.” You said simply, bowing politely at Felix before moving to the door and reaching for the handle

you had to get out of there.

“Did you even listen to what I said, (Y/N)?!”

Felix was shouting now, palm pressed against the wooden door to keep you from leaving.

“Let me go.”

you were the one who was getting angry now

“Not until you talk to me. I just want to-”

“Let. Me. Go...” You were shaking from rage now, pulling at the door, but Felix wouldn’t budge

It wasn’t fair

It wasn’t fair you had to be the one who was rational and you had to be the one who was responsible

all while Felix got to act like a child, throwing a tantrum because you were being respectful and doing your job.

“No.” Felix said sternly, pressing his palm against the door even harder, coming closer to you he could feel the heat radiating off your body like plumes of smoke

why were you being so difficult?

Felix’s life had already gone to shit with this stupid marriage stuff, and now you were making it worse by being cold to him

You turn to him, expression fierce and body trembling

“You want to know so fucking bad?!” You spat, shoving Felix away from you as you felt tears of frustration spill over.

“You are going to be married to the perfect woman and there is nothing I can even do about it! I watch from behind the two of you and pray that in another life, it could be me holding your hand. I wish I was as pretty as she is, I wish that I was as smart as she is, I wish that my family had some sort of status because maybe then I wouldn’t have the person I love engaged to someone else! And life is cruel and unjust because I just have to watch you become who you are meant to be, but there isn’t a place for me anymore!”

Sobs fought their way out of your chest, feeling like you were absolutely broken at this point.

You knew this would probably be the last time you saw Felix because of your outburst, but you tried making peace with that as you sucked in a shaky breath, only for more sobs to fall out.

Maybe you’d move far from the kingdom and live in a cottage in the woods

that way you wont have to worry-

Felix was holding you in an instant, arms wrapped tightly around your torso as broken sobs coming from his throat.

You were still catching your breath and your racing mind, but you finally held the prince in front of you, rubbing a soothing, yet shaky hand along his back.

He clutched you tightly as if you would dissolve if he let go

“for fuck’s sake (Y/N), you have no idea how much agony I am in everyday because I am utterly in love with you.” Felix wailed, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

“I hate being engaged. I hate wedding planning. I hate everything about this situation because she’s not you.”

You let out a weak sigh, feeling the weight of this confession crushing down on you

You felt a lot of things in that moment, but the most prominent was relief he felt the same way

Felix pulled away just enough to look at you in the eyes, his own were blurred from tears.

“I love you so much.”

And you allowed, just this once, for your feelings to prevail over your brain as you kissed Felix for the first time

He kissed back with as much fervor as possible, as he was still out of breath from crying

and when you finally did part for air, it only lasted a second before Felix was diving in for another kiss.

His lips were trembling as he clawed at your waist, seemingly trying to get you even closer to him.

You brought your hands up to tangle in his shaggy hair, holding his head lovingly as you willed every ounce of emotion you had into the kiss

Felix parted from your lips, leaning his forehead against yours

“please, stay with me...” He whispered desperately, placing a peck on your face between each word

but you were rational

and responsible

“I can’t.” You said breathlessly, sniffling and sliding your hands down his back weakly.

“you know we can’t Felix...”

“Just for tonight.” Felix bartered, already walking backwards towards his bed, pulling you along with him.

“Just for tonight...” He repeated, legs hitting the edge of his mattress as he placed another kiss to your lips.

“please... be mine, just for tonight?”

And you let your heart make one more choice over your brain

you let yourself have one night in Felix’s arms, clutching onto him as if he was the most precious thing in the world

one night where your tongues danced together and teeth crashed into each other

One night where you whispered sweet nothings to each other late into early morning

one night where you could call him yours

because when the sun rose, you were gone. Back to the reality of your situation.

You relationship with Felix got better

You went back to calling him Felix in private and you began spending his free time together doing what he loved again

but you kept your distance, opting to never speak of that night to him again.

no matter how much he brought up the subject of your love

You refused to entertain his ideas, changing the subject when he tried to speak to you about what happened that night

or you pulled away whenever Felix tried to grab your hand as you walked or held onto you a bit to long after a hug.

You began to notice him stealing glances at you whenever he was with Winter,

and when he was paying attention to her, he looked bored and acted very formally around her.

When it came to wedding planning, Felix was even more distant.

“I don’t care, whatever flowers you want for the ceremony.”

“All these cakes taste good, so it doesn’t matter to me”

“Why are wedding colours even important? Just go with that one.”

You knew he wasn’t thrilled to be marrying Winter,

but at least put in a bit of effort for her sake...

“Yongbok Darling, you know how we were unable to have an engagement ball a few months ago due to complications in my kingdom?” Winter asked her fiance.

it was a beautiful spring afternoon and the two were having tea out in the courtyard (under your supervision of course).

You knew the wedding was a few weeks away, yet the king and queen still seemed adamant on Felix meeting with Winter a few times a week because he still hadn’t quite warmed up to her yet

with the wedding so close, why was she bringing up an engagement ball?

Felix stirred his tea nonchalantly, looking out at the pond in the center of the courtyard. How much he wished he could just dive in right now and drown

that way he wouldn’t have to be in this situation anymore

when Felix didn’t answer, you kicked at his ankle to get his attention.

“hm? oh yeah, the engagement ball...” Felix hummed dismissively, giving a haphazard glance to his fiance before staring down at his tea cup

“Well, what if we had one? It would be for both our union and our sibling’s, but I think it’s a very important tradition. Don’t you?” Winter said sweetly, picking up a biscuit and dunking it in her tea delicately

“Isn’t it too late to plan one? Our wedding is in a few weeks.” Felix said politely, but grimaced at the thought

“Our parents already have it planned out,” Winter explained, “It was supposed to be a secret, but I wanted to tell you in advance so you could prepare.”

Felix perked up at this, finally looking at Winter. His expression morphed into one of nerves as he let a frown play on his face only for a quick moment

“When is it?”

“in a couple of days. I suppose your parents wanted it kept a secret until the day of...”

Felx let out a small ‘oh’ before plastering a fake smile on his face

“I’m glad we are able to have one finally. Thank you for the extra heads up, Winter.”

“Well I actually said something for (Y/N)’s sake,”

You perked up when the Princess addressed you directly. You were used to being not even acknowledged during these meetings between the two, so it was surprising to hear your name come from Winter’s lips

You didn’t even know she knew your name, as she referred to you as the courtier when she did reference you

“Can you fit in dancing lessons into Yongbok’s schedule? I would hate for him to make a fool out of himself at the ball.” She asked, turning to you with a gentle smile. You nodded in agreement, clasping your hands behind your back as you bowed to her.

Felix looked at you, bittersweet expression adorning his beautiful features before he turned back to Winter.

“Wonderful! Shall we go inside now?” She exclaimed, finishing her tea and dabbing her mouth with a napkin. Felix stood from his place, gathering the tea set just as you started to as well.

You hands touched for a moment while reaching for the sugar, and you felt an spark shoot through your fingertip.

“Leave that for (Y/N), Darling. Wont you walk with me?” Winter asked, holding her arm out for Felix to take.

Felix froze for a second before wordlessly leaving you to collect the rest of the tea set and laced his arm through Winter’s

But not without having his gaze entirely focused on you

even as you began to walk them back to the castle, tea tray in hand, He barely spared his fiance a glance

all Felix could look at was you.

even when she kissed his cheek and said her goodbyes, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you...

The ball came in the blink of an eye,

you felt a bit unprepared in all honesty, but it worked out well

elites from both kingdoms gathered at the castle, wishing well onto both of the happy couples

however, by now, Minho and Karina had already been married some time in the winter

kind of redundant for them to have an engagement ball as husband and wife, but tradition is tradition

They sat up with the king and queen, stoic and poised

as if it was possible for the future king and queen to look anything BUT put together.

the only sign they were really present and not just wax figures was their hands intertwined fondly as they spoke in hushed whispers.

You stood off to the side of the ballroom

as a member of the court, you were technically invited, however you didn’t dare speak to any of the royals.

You were dressed in your best attire, but you felt incredibly bored as you watched the elites mingle.

You almost wished you were dismissed to go down to the kitchen and help out there

you’d be more useful that way anyways

But that all changed when Felix entered the ballroom, arm and arm with Winter

He looked breathtakingly beautiful; his messy hair styled out of his face and he wore a spangled, velvet suit that glittered under the lights of the chandelier

he bowed and greeted guests, grin adorning his features

Winter looked equally as lovely, smiling and waving cheerfully as she mingled with guests as the two whisked around the crowd

they were the guests of honour after all

Finally, the two of them came close enough for Felix to see you

You felt your face burn at the way his expression lit up when he recognized it was you.

He hastily whispered to his fiance, before releasing his arm from hers and weaving through the crowd to you.

now that Felix stood in front of you, he looked even more magnificent; you could clearly see the rosy dust of his flushed cheeks and the star-like freckles that littered his face and neck.

“Good evening (Y/N).”

Felix spoke in a formal, even tone. Considering your current surroundings, it made sense; but nonetheless, you were taken aback by his demeanor

“Good evening, your majesty.” You replied with a bow, trying to hold in a laugh when you catch Felix making a sound of disgust at the title.

luckily, the prince was able to keep his composure

“You look lovely as ever.” He said, a politeness in his tone. Yet you knew he meant much beyond formalities

“You look quite dashing yourself, your majesty.” You hummed in reply, smiling as you see the blush across his cheeks spread to his neck and ears

“May I ask for your assistance on something?” He asked, lips quirked into a playful grin.

“of course. Anything you need, your majesty.”

“Come this way then, please.”

Felix lead you out of the ballroom and down one of the corridors until you reached the familiar view of his bedroom door.

He opened it and ushered you inside, closing the door behind the two of you tightly

“So, what do you need-”

Before you could finish your sentence you were quickly cut off with the prince’s lips on your own

they tasted of champagne and sweets

Taken by surprise, you stood stiff, placing your hands on his chest to push him away

“Felix, what are you doing?” You asked, secretly wishing you wouldn’t have to pushed him away.

“God, you have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that in the past few weeks.” Felix chuckled breathlessly, wrapping his arms around you and leaning into another kiss.

This time you kissed him back for just a moment, only to push him away again

When you parted, Felix looked at you perplexedly

did you not want this?

“Felix, what are you doing?” You repeated quietly, eyes sad and expression soft

“what are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” Felix asked, rubbing his hands up your back to land at your shoulders. His touch was delicate and gentle

You let out a scoff, looking away from the lovesick boy in front of you.

You could hear the muffled sound of the ball outside the door, as you gazed out Felix’s open window to look at the bright moon hung up in the sky

you could see the pooling of storm clouds in the distance, somehow foreshadowing how this conversation would seem to lead

“Felix, tonight is the night of your engagement ball. Your engagement to the Princess, not me.” You explained simply, taking his hands in your own and removing them from your body

“So?” Felix said desperately. He didn’t want to hear about the ball, the princess, OR his engagement...

“So, we can’t be doing this.” You said simply, feeling your heart sink

you wanted nothing more than to lean back into his touch and to stay here for another night together

but you knew better than that.

You had to be stern and direct with Felix, or else he just wouldn’t understand tha-

“Do you not love me anymore?” Felix asked, eyes already swelling with tears, “that night... did it not mean anything to you?”

“Felix I-”

“Every time I try to talk to you about my feelings- show you my feelings for you... you don’t let me.”

“Felix, it’s because-”

“Do you not love me anymore?” Felix asked once more, his voice coming out as more of a whimper. You could see the way his lips curved into a pout, trembling as he tried to keep his emotions in control

You took a deep breath, feeling like you were being stabbed in the heart as you watched the man you love in such a state

“I do love you.” You confirmed, coming close to Felix to wiping his cheeks with the pads of your thumbs.

Felix immediately reacted to your touch, leaning his head into the palms of your hands. He brought his own up to rest atop of yours, brushing his fingertips against yours

“That night represents everything I feel for you all the time. All the things I’m not allowed to say or do.” You confessed in your moment of weakness, wanting nothing more than to place a comforting kiss to Felix’s lips

but you had enough sense to refrain from that

“If you love me, why do you push me away? Why are you making me go to the meetings with Winter? Why do you ignore my love for you? If you love me, why don’t you show me?”

Felix wasn’t crying anymore, but you could still hear the brokenness in his voice as he spoke.

He was always so emotional around you. It was one of the things you loved about him; the way he was so in touch with his feelings and how empathetic he was.

but it was a curse sometimes, blinding him from reality

“Felix, I do those things because I love you so much.” You sighed, slipping your hands away from his face and letting them lay at your sides lifelessly.

“That doesn’t make sense.” Felix huffed out, coming closer to you and reaching out for your hands. You didn’t fight him as he interlocked his fingers with yours

“Lovers don’t do things that make the other person unhappy. So why are you forcing me into a life that makes me unhappy?” Felix said. His tone seemed tired now, emotional exhaustion overtaking the prince.

“Because it’s your destiny. It’s what you are meant to do. Who am I to stand in the way of your future?”

You could feel the tears escape your eyes now

It hurt you more than words could express to let Felix go, but you knew it was what was best for him.

“If this is my destiny, I do not want it.” He whispered now, leaning close to your face. He kissed your tears away gently, tone even and serious

“If this is my future, I do not want it.”

He slowly leaned in once more, placing a kiss on your lips as you couldn’t find it in you to refuse him anymore

He moved took his hands from yours and brought them up to cup your face as he kissed you more.

you felt yourself melting into his touch, kissing him back

because you were just as love-struck as Felix was

“Lets run away.”

Your head was spinning, so you weren’t even sure if you had actually heard him right until he leaned his forehead against yours and his eyes meeting yours

“Lets run away tonight.” He whispered again, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. You shook your head in his hands, leaning away from him again

You couldn’t do this to him

“Felix...”

“Look, I’ve thought about it a lot these past few weeks.” Felix said frantically, reaching out for you as you pulled away from him and opting to take a step back.

“Everyone is busy at the ball, so it would be easy for us to leave.”

“Oh yeah?” You chuckled bitterly.

You hated how it always had to be you who was reasonable

it always had to be you to bring him back to reality...

“And how are we going to leave then? On foot? We’ll be caught before the sun rises.”

“The stables. We take a horse and ride it far away from here.” Felix explained. You sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing your face wearily.

Felix stood in front of you, holding onto your hands again.

“Okay. Say we do get a horse and we are able to get away and hide before anyone catches us.” You sighed, gazing up that the man in front of you, “What then? We live out in the woods with no food, no water, and no home?”

Felix glanced over to his nightstand, where his expensive jewelry box sat open. Diamonds, rubies, sapphires and emeralds; gold and silver, all shone in the light of the moon

“We are not stealing from the royal family- your family, to run away Felix!” You cried out, pulling your hands from his. He hastily knelt down in front of you and clasped your hands in his again.

“We only take what we need to get a start! I’ll work after that.” He bartered, eyes desperate, “Besides, everything in there belongs to me anyways...”

You looked down at where his hands held yours, gold engagement band shimmering in the light

taunting you as you listened to Felix’s silly request.

“And what about your fiance? Your kingdom? You are going to throw it all away for what?” You said exasperatedly

“For you. For our happiness.” He replied simply, pleading with you to run away.

You could feel the walls around your position crumble the more Felix tried to convince you.

You resolve was deteriorating quickly, so you tried one last effort to change his mind

“You’re a prince. You have duties. I can’t-”

“No!” Felix interrupted you firmly. His eyes were filled with a sense of determination that shook you to your core.

“Prince Yongbok has duties. That’s his future, not mine. My future is with you, (Y/N).”

You felt all the air was being punched from your lungs as your last ounce of will power shattered

Okay.

“Okay...” You whispered, finally giving into what you wanted in your heart.

You could see Felix’s face morph into a grin as he stood up excitedly. He looked like a puppy now, eyes shining and hyper fingers that pulled at you to come close to him again.

“But if we are going to do this, we are going to do it right.” You spoke in a hushed tone, pushing away from Felix once more to smooth out his outfit.

The sounds of the ball still sounded lively from ballroom, laughs and music echoing off the halls

“We’ve been gone for too long already, so you need to go back in there and be with the Princess.” You explained, much to Felix’s dismay.

“I’ll prepare everything for us to leave. New clothes, food for the road, something to protect ourselves, things like that. We’ll meet at the stable in an hour or so and we’ll leave.”

Felix nodded enthusiastically, leaping into you and squeezing you tightly, to which you gladly reciprocated.

This was the most happy you think you have ever seen him, and knowing you were the cause of that was worth so much more than trying to secure his future.

and so, with Felix being sent to return to the ball to throw off suspicions, you began to gather the things needed to leave.

Clothes that were much less conspicuous that your formal attire

cloaks to help hid the two of you in the dead of night

The jewelry box from Felix’s nightstand

a long, silver dagger and a bow with a few arrows from the armory that would be useful for you to protect Felix with if you needed

peaches, bread, and bottles for water for a couple days, as you had no idea how long you’d be on the road for.

You prepared the largest horse in the stable for your journey

a pure brown Clydesdale with the most inconspicuous looking leather saddle you could find.

Your hands shook from sheer adrenaline as you tied the saddle firmly to the horse

You knew if you were caught now, you’d be executed for treason

The thought made you nauseous, but you pushed it down and tried of focus on Felix

you thought back to the first day you met him

he was dirty and scuffed up from tending to the roses all morning

you thought of the small details, like how the sun shone through the glass and illuminated Felix so brightly and how delicately his fingers worked to prune those roses

That beautiful image was a stark contrast of now, dark and gloomy

the storm had washed in sometime within the past hour, leaving you soaked and cold

However, it meant people were less likely to come out and catch you

That idea didn’t stop the panic you felt when the stable door swung open

You reached for the dagger and pointed it at your lover before even realizing it was him.

He was soaking wet too, dark hair matted to his forehead as he tried to catch his breath

he must ran here

He was in new clothing as well; a brown hunting jacket and a pair of black trousers

He also had a small knapsack slung over his shoulder

“You stopped at your room first?” You asked, rolling your eyes as Felix nodded. He took the bigger bag from you to put his knapsack in it.

“I had to.” He replied, jamming the knapsack with the heel of his palm, “I had important things with sentimental value in there.”

Felix grabbed the second cloak your prepared and swung it around his shoulders

He watched as you fastened the pin, and he couldn’t help but place a quick kiss to the tip of your nose as you finished.

“We don’t have time for that.” You grumbled, climbing aboard the horse and holding your hand out to help Felix up too.

“We can kiss all you want when we are safe,” You said under your breath, heat crawling up your face as the words effortlessly tumbled from your mouth.

You flicked the lead only when you felt Felix snake his arms around your middle securely, burring his face somewhere between your shoulder blade and the crook of your neck.

there was something comforting about being in his grasp again, but you couldn’t dwell on it now, as you needed to focus on the road ahead

And just like that, your trusty steed galloped away, as fast and as far as it could before stopping

You took a sigh of relief as the two of you passed through the city gates and off into the hinterland

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting the cool rain drops hit your face

You really did it.

You didn’t stop your travels until the sun started to peak up over the horizon, long after the storm had passed.

there was a forest that marked the base of a mountain, which provided enough cover for you to safely rest for a bit.

Past the mountain would be a small farming village, in which you will hopefully be able to rest for longer and get your bearings.

and beyond that was a city

that was the end goal

for now, you allowed your great Clydesdale a place in the long grass to lay and sleep for a bit

all while you spent your time in Felix’s hold, showering him with all of the attention you didn’t allow yourself to do before.

you watched the sun rise paint his skin in a soft golden glow

you found yourself falling in love with him all over again as he just enjoyed your company.

in this time, He explained he had a gift for you, sitting up before pulling something shiny out of his pocket

It was his engagement band, with a gold chain looped through the center of it

“When I get married, it will be to you!” He promised, placing the chain around your neck and adjusting it accordingly

“I love you.” You hummed dreamily, placing a chaste kiss on Felix’s lips

“I love you too.”

The trek was more dangerous than you thought it would be

the mountain proved to be rough terrain, a very narrow pass and hard rock with little traction

to pass the time, Felix would sing folk songs, his deep voice echoing off the rock

And when you reached the town, it was in the middle of the night a couple days later

You were exhausted,

The journey had been physically and mentally taxing on you, and you honestly couldn’t wait to sleep in a bed for the first time in a while.

however Felix felt uneasy at the thought of seeing people

What if someone recognized him? by now, there had to have been search parties out for him.

and it wasn’t like a small farming community was used to travelers coming through...

“(Y/N), I think it’s best if we move on and just go to the city. It feels safer to me.”

You hummed, taking long slow blinks

It was only about one more day’s ride to the city, meaning you could be there by morning if you were quick.

Felix was right, but you weren’t sure if you could last that long

“Let me navigate, you should rest, my love.” Felix said simply, taking the reigns from your tired hands

He placed a quick kiss on your forehead as you leaned into his chest, allowing yourself to sleep

“don’t let me rest for too long...” You mumbled, Hearing Felix’s hum in agreement, before allowing yourself to drift off to sleep

You didn’t wake up until early the next morning, just before sunrise

so much for ‘don’t let me rest too long’

“Hey, we are here.” Felix said, you could hear the grin in his voice

In front of you laid the city of Miroh

It was the largest city in the west, with a populations almost double that of Clé

It had been safely under the rule of the Yang dynasty for centuries now, with a large army supporting it.

And with the mountain being one of the only entrances from the south lands, it was an independent nation, having only alliances with the neighboring kingdoms around it

A perfect place for someone to disappear

You and Felix found home along the very edge of the city on the north side

Using almost all of the precious jewels that you had brought, the two of you bought a run down, little tavern with a the modest inn upstairs.

It was not the best conditions, dirt and grime covering every inch of the bar, a few broken floorboard, and a bit of weather damage done to the outside

it would be tough to fix this place up, but with hard work you could do it.

and boy was it hard work

Felix got a job as a farmhand for a rancher, working long hours out in the sun with livestock

he would be up before the break of dawn and come back after the sun went down, but it was discrete.

you got a job cleaning at an inn in the city center

It paid next to nothing and the owners were cruel, but you always tried to look at the bigger picture

for months you and Felix were just scraping by, working every single day just to be able to live

and slowly, but surely, you were able to replace the broken floorboards

then a couple months after that, you got proper furniture for the tavern and bedding for the inn

and when you finally replaced the few stone steps out front, you were so close to being able to open

Just a few more weeks of this to buy alcohol stock and meal ingredients, and you could finally start your life for real this time

it was late, the moon high overhead when you heard Felix return, boots scuffing against the wooden floor

He always looked so tired now, body heavy and eyes drooped as he shuffled to the back where your room laid.

“I cooked some stew if you’re hungry.” You said as cheerfully as possible.

truthfully, you both had become shells of who you once were, but you felt it was best if you were as happy as possible for Felix when he came home

“Thank you.” He grumbled weakly, emerging from your room with only a loose fitting tunic and his work pants. He sat at one of the many tables as you came over to him with a bowl of what looked to be mostly root vegetables, cream, and small bits of meat from a prairie chicken you bought off a traveler at the inn you worked at.

“Work was tough today?” You asked innocently enough, but it seemed to upset Felix as he frowned

“very much so.” He replied flatly, scooping more stew into his hungry mouth.

His skin was much tanner now from working outside, and you could prominently see his freckles

“well, I’ve been thinking...” You said quietly, watching as Felix barely paid you any mind. The only reason you could tell he was listening to you was through the way he haphazardly grunted in response

“We are so close to opening this place up, I just wish we could do it tomorrow, y’know?” You started out, before reaching for something and placing it on the table in front of Felix

He looked up from his meal at you as you revealed what you had placed

his engagement ring on the chain he had given to you months ago

“I crunched the numbers, and if we sell this, it’ll be enough to start us up. You wouldn’t have to work out there anymore and we could just start running the Tavern everyday.” You explained, chewing your bottom lip.

You hated seeing Felix like this everyday, so if you could give up something to make it stop, you would do it 100 times over

“You... we cant sell that.” Felix said, a look of sadness on his face

he reached out for the ring, looking between the piece of jewelry and you

“Felix, I don’t want you to have to keep living like this for us. It’s killing you!” You cried gently, grasping onto his hand as you felt sadness well up inside you

“I gave this to you, because I made a promise to you. I promised I would marry you” Felix said pushing his meal aside to lean over the table closer to you

“I know, but-”

“So we can’t sell it. not until I marry you.”

“Then marry me.” You blurted out. Felix stared at you in shock, shaking his head

“I can’t yet, you deserve a proper wedding and I can’t give it to you yet.” Felix explained with a heavy sigh

when had he become the rational one in your relationship?

“Marry me now, and we can have the wedding after if you want.” You replied, as if it was the most casual conversation you’ve ever had

You took the engagement ring from Felix’s grasp and walked over to his side of the table

you knelt down in front of him, holding the ring out to him

“Lee Felix, will you marry me? Right now?” You asked, playful grin adorning your features

and for the first time in months you saw Felix smile again, shaking his head as he let out a chuckle

He held out his hand and you slipped the ring back on his finger, chain dangling from it as he pulled you into his lap

“Is this the part where I kiss you?” He asked teasingly, holding you close to him as he planted his lips on yours in a sweet kiss.

when you parted, you couldn’t help the heat from burning across your cheeks

“Lets go to bed, my wife.” Felix said wistfully, lifting you off of him opting to clean up his dinner before taking you to your room.

He was your husband now

Felix, your husband

(Y/N), his wife

Titles felt good for once.

That night, you laid in Felix’s arms once more, and you were reminded of that first night you shared

lots had changed since then, but it was for the better now

And so, after finally being able to open up the tavern, you and Felix lived a relatively happy life

every night, patrons would come to your establishment

your home

and they would eat, drink and be merry

you would have different musicians come and play to add to the atmosphere

every once in a while, you would run into trouble

bounty hunters and adventurers trying to make quick cash from the King and Queen trying to bring Felix back home

They tell people you kidnapped him and he needed to be saved

but you always set them straight with a drink, a story, and a smile, telling them good luck if they tried to take Felix away, because he wouldn’t allow it

usually that was enough to send these people on their way, not without staying a night upstairs and enjoying an evening downstairs

but sometimes it didn’t work

people were still adamant on taking Felix

usually they had to be paid off or you’d have to resort to more unsightly methods

in the end, it was still working out for you

but you tried not to worry Felix with the trouble

He was finally happy again, spending most of his time in the kitchen or behind the bar

he got to bake everyday, which is quickly what your tavern became known for

Looking for pastries, tarts, cookies, and fresh bread? You must go to that tavern on the north side!

Yes, Felix was finally happy, but mostly because he got to crawl into bed next to you everyday

His wife

his love

He sometimes lays awake at night, long since you have fallen asleep in his hold and thinks about what would have happened if he hadn’t have met you

He’d still be the problem child, a disgrace to his family

he’d be married to Winter, probably have a few children, and be a ghost of man who never felt true joy

and god, does he feel grateful he chose this life with you

___________________________

A/N: This had so many more plot details than I originally planned, but I hope you enjoyed it. Honestly, I might write an actual fic that has to do with Felix and (Y/N) living in their cozy tavern later in the future, because I didn’t really expand on it too much because I couldn’t without going into ANOTHER heavy set plot, but who knows!

#kpop #kpop drabbles #kpop fluff #kpop fantasy au #kpop oneshots #stray kids #skz #felix #lee felix #felix skz #lee yongbok #lee felix x reader #skz x reader #skz fantasy au #stray kids fantasy au #lee felix fantasy au #lee felix fluff #felix skz fantasy au #bullet point fic

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inumkii · 7 months

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ how you got together - inumaki x reader

bullet pointed scenario

genre: fluff, f2l

wc: 1.2 ish

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ an: hii this is my first jjk fic!! this might be the only thing i ever post LOLL currently ignoring my massive hiatus on my kpop blog T_T anywayss i wrote this super quickly its prob not the best ;p

i feel like toge would be the type of person to have you make a lot of the first moves

like when you guys were just stupidly pining friends, he made it pretty obvious that he liked you but wanted you to actually confess verbally

it was mostly because he didn't want such a big milestone of starting your relationship to be texted or written by him but maybe like 20% of it was because he likes to be annoying

he's a little shit so if your the type of person to wait on the other person to make a move, good luck! because he’s making you do it

like there was a point were he was certain about both of ur feelings being mutual so he’d just play it up by being really touchy, making it obvious that he wanted to be right next to you, always clinging to you, etc.. you know,, making it obvious that he really does like you

but poor you because you were spending your time overthinking eveything. maybe he was just really touchyyy!! maybe he's extra comfortable around you!!! (i wonder why.)

it was actually driving your friends insane tho

maki’s last straw was during a training session out on the field, her and panda were sparring as you and inumaki watched on the steps

inumaki, as usual, was glued to your side, hands toying with the fabric of your long sleeve uniform

as maki landed her last hit on panda, you got up with their water bottles and ran them over to your two friends

toge followed closely behind, still attached to your sleeve

you were balancing both of the bottles in one arm since the other was being occupied as toges leash of some sort, but you approached the other two like nothing was out of place

this sight wasn't anything new to panda or maki so they kept their scoffs and eye rolls internal. it was mostly just driving them crazy that neither one of you had made a move. it was obvious you both liked each other so why aren’t you guys doing anything about it??

“nice one, maki!” you cheered as the two grabbed their respective waters, toge let out an ingredient of affirmation as well

“ah, that was nothing” she proudly boasted, part of it directed as being a playful jab toward panda. she glanced down at inumakis hand attached to the end of your sleeve as he seemingly refused to be more than a few inches apart from you

“anyways,, im planning on grabbing lunch after this, yn, you coming with?” maki turned towards you

“sure!! i didnt have any plans,” you mused and you and maki set off and away from the field, toge still trailing behind as if following you was the obvious route to go

“just me and yn today, inumaki. sorry man,, go do something with panda” maki had no problem brushing off your friend, she was trying to get you alone which was something that seemed more rare as days go by (cough cough toge let maki have some time with her friend)

he laughed and backed away in compliance before giving your shoulder a quick squeeze as the four of you split off

once he was out of earshot, maki finally groaned

“you need to make a move already, its so frustrating watching you two cling to each other without doing anything about it” she complained as you felt your face heat up

you were well aware of toge’s touchiness and couldn't ignore his potential intentions behind it,, but yet there was this looming fear of actually enacting a confession that stopped you from going further

“do you think he really likes me?” you asked pathetically. anyone’s answer would’ve been a loud yes,, but you still felt like you had to ask maki for some semblance of confidence

she stared at you, an incredulous look breaching her face

“i cant believe you're asking me that question” she scoffed out a laugh, “but since you need to hear it. yes, toge inumaki is one hundred percent in love with you”

she left it at that, causing a permanent fluster to torment you for the rest of lunch

your lunch with maki had left you a little more confident about where you stood with toge, however. she had begged you to do something about it soon, claiming she couldn’t bear to witness any more pining

you had to do something about it soon or else you’d continue to sleep on her advice, overthink it, and never do anything about your problem,,,, it was now or never

you shot a text over to toge and waited on a nearby bench on school grounds

a few minutes passed with you spending them painstakingly fumbling with your phone case, picking off the stickers that were already on their last leg

there were so many times within those short seven minutes where you debated sending a ‘never mind! something came up’ to him

he finally showed up fairly quickly, joining the spot next to you on the bench

immediately discerning your nervous state, he placed a hand over yours

his action didn't do much for your nerves but it gave a little more hope that your confession would have a good outcome

(you were painfully unaware that no matter what you did, you had a 100% success rate)

he voiced his concern, squeezing your hand as you turned to face him

it felt like your heart was about to explode out of your chest but you had to rip the bandaid off

meeting his concern gaze, you finally said it

“i like you”

okay

maybe not the smoothest confession,, but given your anxiety over the situation, it was a miracle it was even said

all toge did in response was reach up to cup your cheek and smile

his single expression gave you the answer you so desperately needed

pouring all his love and admiration into one expression, you hadn’t realized this was always how he had been looking at you

wordless communication though gazes and lingering touches had always been the way he was allowed to express himself

you had been overlooking it for too long, too caught up in your own mind to see the way he gazed at you like you were the only thing he ever needed to focus on, worthy of his attention at any moment you needed it

your heart melted on sight as you leaned into to press a kiss on his lips

it was sweet, brief but not hasty. toge had always been good at placing his emotions into his actions and he made sure you felt everything he was feeling

the two of you parted before you leaned back in to place two more kisses, one on each side of his mouth where his seals were placed

he leaned in to your touch, pulling you in for a hug. as he buried his face in your neck, he breathed out a sigh that wordlessly expressed ‘you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this’ and you laughed into his hair

it might've been way overdue, but he’s here now in your arms, this time without the weight of wondering if your feelings were truly requited

oh an maki just got a text from panda of a blurry, zoomed in image of the two of you on the bench together from the distance

“fucking finally” -maki

#inumaki x reader #toge x reader #inumaki toge #inumaki fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujustsu kaisen x reader #inumaki x you #jjk scenarios #jjk imagines #toge x you

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thedollhousediaries · 11 months

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The Dollhouse Diaries

Real Life In Plastic Tip #6:

ෆTime Management for Neurodivergent Girly Girls and Boujie Hyperfemmesෆ

This is the pretty girl era of having time management under control. The key is to learn how to live in the moment while also being discipline enough to move on to the next task as needed. I know that sentence was as daunting to read as it was for me to write ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა I guarantee I gotcha *Chaeyoung voice*

First Things First: Go 1 Week At a Time!! (every 3 days if an entire 7 is too much or your schedule is unpredictable, like mine)

Build a simple list of all the things you have to do and that you would like to do. Its much easier to get it all out on the table so you can donate more of your brain power to sorting things, rather than holding things.

Put all of the things listed on a calendar: Most important first things first! This means things like health appointments,work schedule, birthdays, holidays that you celebrate, classes, or anything that involves not only your time but other’s as well. Then after that put the elective things second; Nail appointments, shopping trips, dates with friends, etc. Lastly, put the things you would like to incorporate into your daily routine; We talking skincare, any hobbies you may have like drawing/painting/sculpting/reading/blogging, any form of exercise, etc.

Once the week or however much time you have scheduled out is done on your overall calendar, then its time for marrying it to your life.

Marrying your schedule: Planner apps, Physical Planner, Dry Erase Boards and Bullet Journals

Choosing your medium at keeping up with your schedule is very important. You may have to try them all before you get comfortable with something. I have tried them all and I’ve found that the main one that truly stuck with me was the app/website Notion. I like it because its fully customizable and you can use it at your own pace. Every week or every day may not be super eventful and so it drops the guilt and shameful feeling of not filling up pages every single day.

Here is what all I use and the way I use them:

Notion <3 I use it as my overall journal. I use the apps on my ipad/phone to check if I’m not home and I can use the website on my PC when I’m home and relaxing. I like it because its very versatile. Think of it as a digital journal combined with similar mechanics of tumblr. I use it for literally everything. There are a lot of videos that can show off all of the cool things Notion can be used for but this is the video that personally helped me learn it quickly

Bullet Journals <3 I have about 3 journals and I love them because I get to customize things with cute stickers and it gives very fun scrapbooking vibes. Because I use Notion as a all over planner I can use my BUJO’s for more fun and creative things. I usually use these for all of my cute ideas and things thats in my mind and aesthetic wishlists and such. Its very therapeutic to take time out to be kawaii and glamorous and just put cute thoughts on to paper! I mainly use it for kpop inputs, my fav shows, wishlists, dates and etc.

Dry erase board <3 I use this as a overall daily top important to-do list! Sometimes I dont always open my notion if I dont have anything extremely important coming up but there may be some things I need to keep on my mind to do for that day. The way my neurodivergency is set up I need to keep the most important things always in my face or I could forget everything. So, I put things on there like get a new tire, pick up order from bath & bodyworks, put clothes in the dryer, wash dishes, and etc. Daily tasks like that usually goes on my dry erase board

Remember at the end of the day dont be too hard on yourself and your schedule! Move at your own pace and always set yourself up for success. Scheduling is ideally suppose to calm you and be a tool to improve your life; not stress you out. If at any point you begin to feel overwhelmed just stop and recenter yourself and your life. I felt overwhelmed at first myself and that was because I was trying to keep up with a hyper organized and productive version of myself that I needed to give more patience to develop. Let this come organically to you and not because you are trying to keep up with what u feel everyone else is doing, or to the future self you are going to inevitably become. Happy scheduling, Dollmate!

#dollhouse dairies #doll advice #bimbydoll diaries #nuerodivergent #neurospicy #adhd #advice #pink aesthetic #soft aesthetic #journaling #bujospo #girl blogger #notion #y2k aesthetic

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bteezxyewriter12 · 4 days

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You Won't Regret Me/ 1

Pairing- Wooyoung x Named Reader

Word count- 4k

Includes- enemies to lovers, arguing, insults, hate sex, semi public sex, bathroom sex, wall sex, sex from behind, squirting, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, arguing during sex

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Wooyoung Masterlist

Wooyoung POV

We all stand behind Hongjoong, watching the drug exchange go down, all of us ready to scrap if we have to

Hongjoong waves his hand, Joanne coming forward with the case full of heroin

She puts the suitcase next to Hongjoong, standing stoically next to him, waiting for the other gang to show the money

I scowl at her back

I can't fucking stand her

She's Hongjoong's best friend from childhood and when he started the ATEEZ gang, she was invited to be in it

As a member of his inner circle

She's tough, loyal and ruthless just like him

But she's also cocky, a know it all and argumentative

She thinks she's better than us

She's mean and rude

I hate her

The other guys tell me to chill the fuck out but I can't

Just her fucking voice grates on me

And the way she presents herself as if she and Seonghwa don't share the title of second in command

How it doesn't bother Seonghwa is beyond me

I'd shut that shit down in a second but Seonghwa lets it go

Probably because they fuck from time to time

But I'll be damned if I let some pussy affect my job

The leader of the gang puts a suitcase on the table and opens it, showing Hongjoong the money

Hongjoong goes closer, checking the bills, making sure it looks like it's all there

We won't know until we count it

"Jo", he says, and she opens the suitcase we brought, showing the rival leader the product

He goes to the suitcase, takes a knife out and opens one of the blocks

Sticking his finger in it, he tastes it and nods

Hongjoong scoffs, "Did you think we'd give you fake heroin?"

"You never know", the leader growls

"We have a reputation to uphold. When we say we'll do something, we do it", Hongjoong sneers, "We don't go back on our word"

"Noted", the leader says dryly

"If that's all", Hongjoong rolls his eyes, waving his hand to the suitcase of money

Seonghwa steps up, closing the suitcase and taking it

"Actually that's not all", the leader says

I hear guns cocking and when I look around us, all the men the leader brought has guns pointed at us

Great

"Give us the money"

Hongjoong sighs, "And what, you'll let us go?"

"No"

"Yeah thought so", Hongjoong says, shaking his head

"You were stupid enough to bring your whole inner circle with you", the leader grins, "It's just too good an opportunity to pass up. Taking out the whole ATEEZ gang. My gang will be famous for that. I will be famous"

"No, you're gang will be eradicated", Hongjoong says, holding his hand up and waving two fingers

Bullets fly by us, hitting all of the rival members

They all go down, some dead, others severely wounded

"You were stupid to think I didn't bring reinforcements", Hongjoong growls

I want to laugh at the leaders shocked and scared face

"How..."

"Snipers", Hongjoong shrugs, "You're an idiot if you didn't think I cased this place out first and thought of every possible scenario that could go wrong. And now your men are dead or dying. You're going to die. And we are going to eliminate your entire gang"

He pulls his gun out and shoots the leader in the kneecaps

He goes down, screaming like a little girl

To us Hongjoong nods, "Go"

Taking out my gun, I walk to the nearest guy to me and check him

Dead

Moving to the next one, he's groaning, holding onto his ribs

Raising my gun to his forehead, I pull the trigger, killing him

As we go around killing all the surviving men, Hongjoong says to the leader, "You should of just taken the money"

Then he shoots him in the head

"Fuck!", I hear San yell, a gun going off

I quickly turn to him, seeing him shoot down, his upper arm bleeding

"You good San?", Hongjoong asks

"Bastard shot me", he says, putting pressure on his arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding, "Flesh wound"

Sucks

"You get him?", Hongjoong asks

"Yeah"

Joanne appears next to San, taking her hoodie off and pressing it against his wound

"I'll fix your arm Sannie", she says

We don't use hospitals

And she is normally the one who fixes the guys when they get banged up

She did Hongjoong the favor and got trained as a nurse, so she knows what she's doing

For cuts, stitches, bruises, minor injuries, flesh bullet wounds, she fixes

Anything major like broken bones or body bullet wounds we go to a hospital and threaten the people there to keep quiet

"Thanks Jo"

"Yeah, let's get you back to Joong's house", she says

"Let's move out", Hongjoong calls

The rest of the guys come back towards us, Jongho dragging one of the rival members

"He's alive?", I ask

"Alive enough to answer questions", he says

We need one alive to tell us about his gangs hideouts and the inner workings of the gang so we can kill them all

No one crosses Hongjoong and ATEEZ

"Woo, drive Jo and San back to my house", Hongjoong orders, "Were going to the interrogation hideout. When she patches up San, all three of you come meet us"

I roll my eyes, keeping in a huff, nodding

As I walk to my car her and San are waiting at, I catch her glaring at me

"Let's go", I growl at her, unlocking my car, "And don't fucking get blood on my seats"

"He's bleeding you fucking idiot", she snaps, climbing in the back after San, "If blood drips deal with it"

"I don't want blood in my car", I snarl

"You can wash it out. Don't be a prick"

"You're such a bitch! It's a simple request. Don't get blood on the seat"

"You fuck-"

"Ok guys, can we go?", San interrupts, "Kinda in pain here"

"Yeah", I answer, remembering that yeah, he's hurt

Arguing with the witch isn't going to help him

Starting the car, I drive towards Hongjoong's house

--------------------------------

The music is loud in the club as I make my way to the bar

After San was patched up, we met Hongjoong and the rest of the guys

Jongho got information out of the rival member he tortured and we used that info to make a plan

Our gangs subunits are hitting all the hideouts as right now, killing everyone in them, essentially erasing that gang

We're on call in case we're needed but honestly we're good

Hongjoong inspires loyalty and everyone in the gang, from the low level drug dealers to us, his inner circle, are totally loyal to him

The low level ones are terrified to fuck him over

They should be

Hongjoong suggested we go to our favorite club to unwind and we all agreed

I'm on my way to get a drink, get shit faced and hopefully lucky

As I pass by the bathroom, it opens, someone walking right into me

I turn to glare at the person and seeing who it is my blood pressure rises

"Watch where you're fucking going!", I snarl at Joanne

"Oh fuck you", she snaps, rolling her eyes

"You walked into me you cunt!"

"Wah wah wah", she mocks

God, she just pushes all the wrong buttons, infuriating me

"You should apologize for being such a clumsy fuck!"

"How was I supposed to know your dumbass was standing by the door? Why are you hanging by the bathroom, you perv?"

My mouth drops momentarily at her stupidity, "I was walking by, idiot"

"Uh huh. Sure"

Oh that's it

I'm so done

"Do you ever shut up?", I snap

"Do you?", she snarls, "You're such a whiny little princess"

Princess?

Is she fucking kidding me?

"Fuck you!", I yell, getting so heated

"No fuck you!", she shouts back, glaring at me

I glare back at her, so much hate and anger running through me

And the next thing I know, I pull her to me, she comes willingly and her lips are against mine

Her kiss sends shivers down my spine, my head spinning and fire running in my veins

Goddamn she's a good kisser

Just as soon as we kiss, she's pushing me back, a look of disgust on her face

Yeah well I'm disgusted too

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Fuck off!"

"No you fuck off!", I snarl

"Don't fucking kiss me you toad!"

"Toad? Thought I was a princess", I snap

"Yeah, a princess toad!"

"You sound like a five year old", I snort

"Shut up! You're fucking gross"

I gape at her, insulted, "I am not gross!"

I take painstaking steps to ensure I'm not gross, I'm groomed and always looking good

So fuck her

"You are! A dirty whore who fucks anything that walks"

Is she calling me a slut?

"I do not! I may make out with a lot of girls but I don't fuck them all!"

And I use condoms most of the time

"Yeah sure. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole"

I snort, "You would be lucky to fuck me"

She laughs, "Right. Cause you're such a catch"

I am

When I'm in a relationship I give my girl all of me, love her unconditionally

She'd be fucking lucky to have me

"Too bad you would never find out. I'd never touch a wannabe bitch like you"

"Wannabe?", she growls

"Yeah", I spit, "You pretend your tough shit, pretend you're second in command when really you share that title with Seonghwa"

"I earned my title asshole"

"Yeah right,", I snort, "Teachers pet"

"Fuck you, you little prick!", she snarls in my face

"No fuck you", I roar

We glare hatefully at each other and in the next second, her lips are against mine again

I slide my tongue in her mouth, playing with hers as her arms move around my neck

Putting my hands on her hips, I push her back, opening the door to the single bathroom

Slamming and locking the door, I turn her, shoving her against the door, kissing her hungrily

"What are we doing?", she asks between kisses

"Don't think about it", I answer, not knowing what the fuck we're doing

"Ok", she says breathlessly

I move my hands down to her pants, starting to undo them

"Are you trying to fuck me?", she scoffs when she pulls away

"Oh just shut the fuck up and let me take your pants off"

She glares but says nods

"Good. Shut up and kiss me"

She growls but does what I say, her soft lips so good against mine

I get her jeans open and I shove them and her panties down at the same time

She kicks her sneakers off, then moves her legs through the jeans and panties, leaving them a heap on the floor

"Bet you suck at sex too", she snaps as I pick her up and shove her against the door, her legs wrapping around my waist, her arms around my neck

"Suck?", I scoff, "Please, you're going to be screaming my name in a minute"

She actually laughs, pissing me off more, "I seriously doubt that"

"Yeah we'll see", I growl, pulling my pants and boxers down

I'm not stopping to think how stupid this is

Or that I should definitely not do this

I'm ignoring that voice that's telling me to stop because I'm fucking horny

I hate to admit it but I really like her kisses and they turn me on

"We will see", she snarls as I align my cock to her hole

I thrust hard into her, bottoming out in one stroke, splitting her tiny cunt wide open

"Oh my god", we both cry

Holy shit, she's so fucking tight, clenching around me hard and so very wet, drenching me

My god, she feels fucking amazing

But I'm never telling her that or I won't hear the end of it

"Well you have a big cock, I'll give you that", she concedes

I smirk up at her

"Doesn't mean you know how to use it"

Snarling, I grip her ass hard as I pull back until just my head is in her pussy

"You'll see just how well I can use my cock", I snap, then slam back into her forcing her open around me

"Oh fff....", she trails off as I start railing her into the wall

I groan, feeling her pussy suck me in with each ram, like she wants to keep me inside her

I can feel every inch of her pussy impale on my dick, completely soaking my length and my lap

"So wet for my cock huh?", I smirk at her

"Don't flatter yourself", she moans, "It's a natural reaction"

"Oh?", I laugh, "It's a natural reaction for your pussy to drown my cock and douse my lap?"

"Shut up", she groans, pleasure all over her face, her body shivering against mine, her fingers bunching in my hair

"You're this drenched and I haven't even hit your spot yet"

"As if you could find it"

"Oh I can find it", I assure her

I roll my hips into her, plunging deeply

No, not there

I hike her legs up higher on me, shifting her around

Burying in her again, her body shivers and she yells out in bliss

I smirk, "Found it"

"Fffff...fuck you", she stammers as I hit her spot again

"Oh look", I mock, each thrust making my head hit her spot, "You're pussy gets wetter and wetter every time my head rubs you there. What was that about me not finding your spot?"

"Shut up", she roars

"Nope", I say gleefully, watching her tremble with every stroke

Her white shirt is clinging to her in sweat in all the best ways, showing off her big tits

Her hands move from my hair down to my chest, her hands unbuttoning my shirt one at a time

She gets it open, the air cool against my sweaty skin

She pushes it down my arms but I'm not letting her go to take it off, so I just let it hang

Her arms move around my neck again, her lips crashing into mine

I take her kiss eagerly, loving the chills that are running down my spine

I move faster into her, her pussy throbbing like crazy as her moans get louder and louder, her legs tightening around my waist

She's close

And I never wanted a girl to cum on me as much as I want her to

I want her to eat her words from before

"Cum on my cock", I pant, fucking her into the door

"Nnnn....no", she groans

I snap my eyes to hers, peering at her in disbelief through my sweaty hair

"What the fuck do you mean no?", I snarl, snapping my hips harder, smashing her spot

I watch her moan, her pussy clenching my cock like a vice grip

"No", she cries out, "I don't want to"

She's really fucking something else

She has the ability to piss me off during sex

That's a rare gift I wish she'd lose

"Yes you do", I growl, "You're squeezing my cock like you're trying to choke it, your pussy is drooling all over my dick, you want to cum"

"Fuck you", she snaps, her fingers digging into my shoulder, her other hand twisting in my hair, her pussy trying to unclench around me

I fucking had it

"Stop trying to force it back", I yell, thrusting into her with each word, "And. Finish. On. My. Cock. Now!"

Fucking into her once more, she screams as she falls into her orgasm

"Fuck! Wooyoung! I hate you!", she yells, pulling my hair so hard my head is pulled back, her pussy watering my cock like I've never felt before, throbbing like crazy, throwing my body into unbelievable pleasure

"Shit", I whisper, forcing myself to stay up, gripping her thighs hard

"I fucking hate you!", she cries, her body shaking, her face in pleasure as she keeps coming

"I fucking hate you", I snap

God, her orgasm feels so fucking good

That's just another thing to hate her for

I fuck her through it, wanting her to be in complete and utter pleasure because of me

Just to spite her

When she finishes, I pull out, putting her down, then spinning her around

I kick off my shoes, pants and boxers, then throw my shirt on the floor

Getting closer to her, I pull her shirt off her body, then undo her bra

Pulling her against me, her back to my chest, I snarl in her ear, "Open your legs"

She does, moving her hands against the wall as I slip back inside her, her pussy pulling me in so pleasurably

Moving my arms around her waist, I begin to move, getting a fast and hard pace going

It feels phenomenal

Pushing her hair to the side, I growl in her ear, "How does it feel to know you came on the cock of someone you hate?"

"Fuck you", she snarls, her body shaking with each plunge, betraying the pleasure she's in

"Uh uh. Not an answer", I say, burying inside her and grinding into her spot, "How did it feel? Don't lie"

"Stop"

"Just answer the fucking question"

God, can she stop being argumentive for a fucking second?

"It felt.....good", she says through clenches teeth

Pounding into her tight cunt, I press a kiss to her neck, smirking at the way her skin trembles under my lips

"Just good?", I ask, running my fingers softly up her stomach, between her boobs then back down

"Wooyoung-"

"Joanne!", I snap

"Fine! It was fucking amazing! The best orgasm I've had in a while!", she roars, "Happy"

"Extremely", I smirk

"I fucking loathe you"

"But you like my cock", I rub it in, pulling her head back against my shoulder, sliding my hands up her body and squeezing her boobs

She just grunts, the pretty wet sound of her pussy swallowing my cock so loud in the small bathroom

"Cum again", I whisper in her ear

"No!"

Can't she just fucking do something without an argument?

She liked it before, I'd think she'd want another one

But she's so goddamn stubborn

"You're gonna cum again", I snarl, pumping my cock inside her tight wet hole

"Fuck you"

I let out a frustrated cry and grab her neck, squeezing slightly

Her pussy gets so fucking tight, a moan coming from her

Well well, she likes being choked

That works out because I want to strangle her all the time

"You're going to cum on my cock again", I growl in her ear, "Your pussy is going to do what I say, when I say"

"I-"

"Shut up", I snarl, choking her lightly, her pussy getting impossibly tight, "Right now, I own your pussy. It does what I want. Do you hear me?"

I let go of her neck so she can answer but she just grunts

"Do you hear me?", I snap

"Yes!", she bellows

"Good. Cum"

I squeeze her neck as I thrust directly into her spot and she screams wordlessly, her body thrashing against mine as she orgasms

That same utter ecstasy I felt from her previous orgasm washes over me and I close my eyes, just basking in it

Forcing my orgasm back, I let go of her neck, her screams of my name shattering the silence as I let her ride it out on my cock

"Wooyoung! Wooyoung!"

God, I really like hearing her yell my name like this

I hate it when she says my name any other way though

Pushing her forward, I bend her over my arm, resuming my thrusts

Looking down, I gape at how utterly creamed up my cock is

There's a coat of cream all over and a thick ring at the base of my cock

God, I've never seen anything like it

And it's such a turn on

"Yeah you love my cock", I laugh, "If you could see how much you're creaming me, you couldn't argue"

She just grunts, her forehead against the wall

I watch the fascinating sight of her little hole spread open for my dick, straining the closer it gets to the base of my cock

Her hole is smeared in her cream and it's driving me insane

But I had her cream twice and there's something else I want

Moving my fingers to her clit, I play with it, rubbing quickly

"Fuck", she cries, more cream gushing from her hole

"You're gonna squirt", I murmur, rubbing her clit as I thrust, "You're creaming my cock so much and I fucking like seeing that but you need to squirt now"

"I....never....I don't think...."

"You never squirted?"

She shakes her head, her hips starting to move backwards, meeting my thrusts and taking me deeper than before

"Fuck", I whimper, "Yeah shit, fuck yourself on my cock. I'll make you squirt"

We move together, the sound of our skin slapping getting louder as we desperately fuck each other

"Oh god", she whimpers, her fingers scratching at the door, "So good. So fucking good"

I smirk, wondering if she knows what she's saying

I'm never letting her live this down

The next stroke has her pussy raining squirt around my dick, her screams of my name so pretty

I keep fucking her, so close myself

"I'm coming inside you", I grunt, as she finishes gushing all over the place

"You fuck-"

"Shut up", I yell, "I'm coming inside your cunt and you're going to take it"

She snarls but she doesn't say anything

"Ok?", I growl

I need her to agree

I'm not an asshole, if she really says no, I'll pull out

I'm not going to make her do something she doesn't want to

Not that I can anyway

If she doesn't want me to cum inside her her big fucking mouth will tell me

"Yes", she murmurs

"Yes what?"

"Wooyoung-"

"Say it", I urge her, so close

"Yes, come inside me!", she yells

"Is that what you want?", I moan, my body shaking hard from holding it back

"Yes! I want you to fill my pussy!", she cries

Ok then

Shoving my cock in to the hilt, I yell her name, euphoria tidal waving over me as I cum deep inside her

My fingers dig into her hips, holding her on my dick as her pussy milks me dry

Stars blast in my vision, it feels fucking amazing

Best orgasm I've ever had, hands down

But unlike her, I'm not dumb enough to tell her that

I pull out of her, watching my cum drip from her hole to her thighs

"Don't clean up", I order her, moving to grab my clothes, getting my shirt on

She glares at me hatefully, "What?"

"Keep my cum in your pussy", I clarify, picking up her panties and tossing them at her, "Let it drip out on your panties. I want you to feel me there the whole night. I want you to be reminded that you have the person you hate's cum leaking from your cunt, making a mess in your panties"

"I fucking hate you"

I roll my eyes, already knowing this

"Put your panties on now. Princess", I snap

She grumbles but she does like I ask, pulling her panties on

We dress in silence, then she heads for the door

"Don't fucking tell anyone", she snarls

"Oh I won't. I don't want anyone to know I banged the witch", I scoff

"Fuck you asshole"

Leaning down to her, I whisper in her ear, "The asshole who's cum is making a mess in your panties"

She huffs, despise in her eyes as she opens the door, the loud music crashing into the room

She immediately walks out, practically running to get away from me

I just smile, step out and continue my way to the bar

#ateez wooyoung fanfic #jung wooyoung fanfic #wooyoung fanfic #jung wooyoung smut #ateez wooyoung smut #wooyoung smut #ateez fanfic #ateez smut

94 notes · View notes

mostlycompetentwriter · 1 year

Text

FREEZE

F/M Pairing: Female Reader x Seo Changbin (SKZ)

Genre: Mafia AU

Word Count: 7K

Warnings: Explicit Smut, Mentions of Violence, References to Alcohol, Cursing, Daddy Kink?

Summary: Everyone knew that the city’s biggest mafia leader had a soft spot for his girlfriend, and that meant trouble for anyone who put you in harm’s way.

Taglist: @glitter-hwa @daysbeforesummer @changbins-yn @thestarseeker @liz820 @lunabrookstone142 @charreddonuts @straykissss @idek-at-this-point-lol @defenseofourdreams6277 @ajsljfe @poshpriestess @fuzzyprofessorprunecroissant @kpop-stuff-only @deyluvmefrfr @phobia0325 @poutypoutybin @ignoretheskies @chanlovesme @4kwp

You were covered in blood, and Jisung had no filter.

“He’ll fucking kill me,” he sobbed as you drove with both hands clasped tightly to the steering wheel.

“Shut the fuck up, Sung,” you sneered between clenched teeth, trying to hold on to the last reserves of patience fizzling into nothing the longer he insisted on talking.

“A bullet right here,” Jisung continued, lifting one finger to prod at the center of his forehead.

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. “He won’t find out.”

“How!” Jisung nearly shrieked. “He knows everything!”

It was hard to argue that point as you knew first hand just how many little birds Changbin kept around the city, ready to sing at a moment’s notice whenever he needed information.

“Stick to the plan,” you said. “There’s tissues in the back. Clean yourself up.”

Jisung sniffled, but obeyed your order. At least he had the wherewithal to know better than to put up another fight. After all, he had almost failed his mission after instigating a nasty spat in that bar, his temper flaring and forcing him to give a seemingly random patron a black eye. Too bad the son of a bitch worked directly for Park: Changbin’s biggest competition and a formidable opponent in his own right. He practically owned the downtown streets, hosting lavish parties on every corner.

Originally, Jisung had been sent to do minor reconnaissance work at one of Park’s newest bars, one that had been built a bit too close to Changbin’s territory for his liking. But Jisung had complained about going alone, and he talked you into accompanying him, even if that meant sneaking out of the penthouse you shared with Changbin against his direct orders.

“No going out today, doll,” he had purred to you that morning, keeping you trapped between his leather-clad arms as he decorated a mess of bruises down the side of your neck. “I don’t have enough men to protect you.”

Changbin had been right, of course. You and Jisung ended up fighting your way out of the bar with minimal information about its innerworkings. At the end of the day, you still didn’t know who ran it for Park, how much money it brought in, the types of deals conducted in those stupid reserved rooms at the back...

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, whipping Changbin’s Maserati down one of the side roads next to your penthouse building, keeping to the shadows as you parked in one of the older parking decks to avoid attention. “He should still be at the office,” you said in a way to reassure both yourself and Jisung who had managed to stop crying long enough to give you a faint nod. “You can take the car and head home. If Changbin asks, I was here all day, yeah? And your job went smoothly without any problems?”

Jisung nodded again, a bit more forceful, trembling fingers taking the keys you dangled across the center console, watching as you got out of the car. “He’ll know-”

“Not if you keep your mouth shut for once,” you snapped to interrupt him, frowning when he slid across the middle console to situate himself by the wheel.

You made sure he fastened his seatbelt before you glanced down, groaning as you took note of your ruined outfit: covered in head-to-toe with that bastard’s blood, your once pristine white blouse and designer jeans were ruined, stained red to match the crimson tips at the ends of your curly hair. Not to mention the blood on your hands, and the faint specks dotting your skin like freckles.

“Y/N-”

“We’re fine, Jisung,” you said, giving his shoulder a little shove. “I’ll sneak up and clean everything before Changbin gets home.”

“Your clothes-”

“I’ll trash them,” you interrupted. “Just stick to the plan, okay?”

Jisung took a deep breath, looking entirely unconvinced. “I will.”

“Good,” you said. “He can never find out.”

Jisung opened his mouth once again, as if to argue to agree with you, but then closed it before shutting himself back in the car. You could hear the tires squeal as he took off, burning rubber and leaving a faint trail behind him, clearing after a few seconds to expose the empty parking deck.

You made sure that he was gone, and then with a deep breath, you turned around and entered the building through the back door.

You took the stairs to the top, feeling your lungs complain the entire time. Changbin had chosen the penthouse suite because of its amazing view of the city, but you were regretting the choice to live so high, and you couldn’t risk riding the elevator and being seen by another resident. After all, nothing screamed attention more than splashing blood on white clothes.

It meant that your hands were shaking from exertion when you shoved your key into the door, pushing it open with the toe of your shoe to avoid getting blood on the wood. Thankfully, everything was quiet when you walked inside, grabbing a trash bag from the kitchen because there was no hope for your clothes at this point. In your experience, blood stained everything, and there was no chance to clean it out of fabric.

After disposing of your blazer and taking a deep breath, you walked over to the sink, scrubbing soap into the skin of your hands until they were rubbed raw, scalding hot water burning your flesh. It took several long minutes until the red of the blood was replaced by the heat of the water, leaving faint blisters that would likely heal in a few days. At least you felt a little cleaner, pushing yourself back because you needed to hurry and change your clothes before Changbin got home...

“Y/N.”

You withheld a scream at the sudden intonation of your name, even as your heart dropped to your stomach, breath catching when you whipped yourself around to confront the man standing at the entrance to the kitchen.

“Changbin,” you whispered, feeling entirely exposed as his dark eyes narrowed, looking you up and down from head to toe.

For several long, agonizing minutes, you found yourself ensnared with that intimidating sneer that you were rarely the recipient of, as it was usually reserved for people like Park or the city’s scum that Changbin was more than happy to dispose.

“Care to explain,” Changbin asked, voice carefully composed, but there was rage in those eyes you loved.

“It was an accident,” you said. “Nothing bad happened.”

“Hmmm...” Changbin appraised you with a clinical look. “Tell me everything.”

You nodded, even though every nerve-ending was screaming at you to run. The well-rehearsed story you had told Jisung wouldn’t hold up anymore. There was simply no easy explanation to account for blood.

“It’s not even mine,” you started, hoping to assuage his anger.

But it had the opposite effect. “That’s not what I asked.”

You hesitated at his icy tone, heart beating a mile a minute. “I - uh, I got into an altercation on the road. Some asshole hit me from behind, shattered the glass and cut me all over. He ran from the scene and I didn’t get any information or his license tag. Thankfully, Jisung was close-by to come and help me. He drove me home and I asked him not to call you. Thought it would be best to tell you myself.”

“So that’s your blood?” Changbin immediately questioned. “Seems like a lot of blood for you to be standing there talking to me.”

“Well, it was just cuts and scrapes, but you know how blood stains-”

“Yes,” he interrupted with a raised brow. “I do know.”

“Right.” You swallowed hard at the ominous implication, reaching behind you for the edge of the counter for extra support. “I know you asked me not to leave, but I needed to pick something up, and it was meant to be quick...”

You trailed off, faltering under the weight of his impenetrable stare. The same one that had made grown men crack and plead for his forgiveness or fall loose-lipped and spill all of their darkest secrets.

“Is that all?”

“Yeah,” you exhaled, watching as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“I should call the doctor to come check you out.”

“No!” you immediately replied, wincing at the abruptness of it. “I mean, it’s nothing major. He might be needed somewhere else.”

“I see,” Changbin said, waltzing over to grab the black briefcase on the counter that you hadn’t noticed until then.

He was impossible to read, too well-versed in the art of maintaining a convincing poker face to tell you if he believed your fabrication. But he wasn’t yelling, or making a scene. So, you could take that as a good sign?

But you were still surprised that he hadn’t immediately questioned your argument...all the obvious parts that were simply unexplainable...until he lifted a familiar laptop onto the counter.

You froze when he turned the screen around, hitting play and broadcasting footage from what appeared to be a dash cam - one that you hadn’t even noticed in the car.

“You can take the car and head home. If Changbin asks, I was here all day, yeah? And your job went smoothly without any problems?”

You could barely contain your whimper, watching as Changbin popped a cork on one of the wine bottles you had delivered the other morning, filling one of the wine glasses hanging from the decorative stand next to the coffee machine.

He took a sip, glaring down at the contents. “You lied to me,” Changbin said to break the sweltering silence. “You lied to me, and you disobeyed me.”

Every bit of oxygen was gone from your lungs at his declaration, and fear clasped a tight hand around your heart. “Binnie-”

“Take off those clothes and get yourself cleaned up,” Changbin growled, fingers gripping tight to the wine glass. “I’ll be in the bedroom.”

“Changbin-” you tried once more, but Changbin had already turned his back to you, and a heavy dread settled in the pit of your stomach.

Despite the impossible weight hanging over your head, you managed to make it to the bathroom, stripping off the remnants of your bloody clothes before entering the shower. The hot water wasn’t even enough to make you feel clean this time, dreading the prospect of what waited for you in the bedroom. But you were also far too anxious to delay the inevitable, and you left the stall with a deep breath, giving yourself a quick look in the mirror before leaving to meet your fate.

It didn’t take long for him to notice your return, eyes narrowed with clear intent. And that could only mean trouble for you.

“Do you still want to lie to me?” came Changbin’s immediate question as soon as you joined him with a light shuffling of your feet, dressed in casual clothes that you had thrown on to make yourself look presentable.

He was standing next to your king-sized, appearing nothing short of intimidating dressed in his black slacks that held firm to his thighs and a black blazer, nothing underneath, revealing a long sliver of smooth skin. His arms were crossed over his chest, where you could see a hint of his firm pecs, fabric straining over his arms.

You would be positively salivating at the sight under any other circumstances if fear wasn’t so present, forcing yourself to meet his darkened gaze. “No.”

“No, what?”

You wanted to whine at the mere idea of the humiliation he was about to put you through. “No, sir.”

He nodded once, a brief acknowledgment that you had pleased him. “Come over here, doll.”

You faltered at the sound of the pet name, ignoring the way your legs shook beneath you, walking over to stand inches in front of Changbin. “Tell me what happened with Jisung.”

“Jisung...” you trailed off, still hesitating, and it was just enough for Changbin to reach out with one hand, snatching a fistful of your hair and forcing back your neck at an awkward angle, stinging pain erupting from your scalp.

“Tell me the truth, Y/N!”

And so you sang. Telling him absolutely everything. From the moment he left so you could change out of your cum-stained clothes from that morning’s fuck to the moment you walked back into the kitchen to stuff your blazer in a trash bag. All the while resisting tears and ignoring the fire blazing in Changbin’s gaze.

“You can’t punish Jisung,” you whispered at the end. “It was all my idea!”

“Sounds like he shares the blame,” Changbin mused, lessening the strength of his hold, allowing you to breathe a little easier without so much force.

“I just- I didn’t want to make you mad...”

“Too late for that,” Changbin growled, and you shook like a leaf, feeling the tears that you had been trying to hold back fall free.

He tsked at the sight of them, releasing you completely, and you took a step back, wrapping your arms around your waist. He sighed then, looking you over, some of the earlier fire dimming.

But only just a little. “I can’t let infractions slide, Y/N,” he started, and you focused on your breathing, trying to keep your heart from beating out of your chest.

“What can I do to make it up to you?” you dared to ask, only slightly relieved when Changbin smirked.

“You’ve been running that mouth a lot,” he said. “Using it to lie to me when I asked you to never do so. Maybe we can put it to a different use.”

The implication was right there in front of you, and you were quick to drop to your knees, fingers working at the leather belt around his waist. Changbin hummed in pleasure, hands making their way back to your knotted hair, keeping you close as you pulled down his pants to sit around his thighs.

“Good little cocksucker,” Changbin purred, breath hitching when you palmed him through his boxer shorts. “That’s why I keep you around. You might be hard around the edges, but that mouth always makes up for it.”

“Is that all I’m good for? Sucking your cock?”

Changbin scoffed at the question. He knew that your words were only intended to bite back a little. After all, he had once told you that you were irreplaceable to him. But in the moment, surrounded by so much heat that you could melt, you had resorted to petty asides in the hopes of drawing a reaction from him - one that might make him reconsider his tone if you made it seem like you were hurt by his comment.

“Don’t do that,” Changbin said, without missing a beat, even as his fingers reached out to circle your lips. “I know what you’re trying to do, and you know I could ask you for so much worse.”

You knew that too, kneeling statuesque still as Changbin considered his options. “You’ll suck me off,” he said. “And then I’ll see what kind of mood I’m in.”

You nodded as a response, pulling down the waistband of his underwear to free his cock, watching it stand proud and erect against the hem of his shirt before moving in. “Nice and slow,” Changbin requested, voice breaking around a choked gasp when your lips abruptly engulfed the head of his cock.

Changbin growled at the suddenness of your actions, and you couldn’t help but moan at the first taste of his salty precum on your tongue. You could practically feel yourself salivating, opening wide to take him in, head bobbing up and down to collect every inch.

You made sure to circle the head of his cock with your tongue, just the way Changbin liked, feeling gratified when he groaned. Repeating the action a few times before pulling your mouth off him with a sopping wet suck just so that you could lick a strip along the underside of his erection. Tracing the prominent vein as you glanced up at him to see that his eyes were shining with a hint of mischief against the dark lust as he shook above you.

That look alone had a rush of arousal pooling low in your stomach, resisting the urge to touch yourself when you took him into your mouth again. He was far too big to manage all of his cock at once, suckling on the head while stroking the rest of his length.

But Changbin had already said that it was a punishment, and you could feel your eyes growing bigger when he started to tug on your hair, hips grinding against you at a steady pace, and forcing his cock to sink deeper down your throat, shoving half of him between your lips and along your tongue before you felt yourself gagging.

“Doll,” Changbin hissed, resisting the urge to buck his hips even further, pushing the limits of your gag reflex, even if you knew that the tight heat of your mouth was irresistible. Feeling him sink his cock as deep as it could go, brutalizing your throat which was already starting to feel raw and used.

Eventually, he let you pull off his cock with a gasp to collect your breath, leaving behind a sheen of your saliva, dripping down the head. You panted from the exertion of being used, and Changbin used a free hand to grip himself at the base, the other jerking your head back to meet his boiling gaze. “You know I want to fuck you now.”

“If that’s what you want,” you croaked, voice hoarse from his previous ministrations.

You could feel the coiling tension radiating from him as he carded his fingers through your hair, keeping you grounded as he worked his pants and boxer shorts into the floor. “Get naked,” he demanded, and you used the side of the bed to help yourself stand, doing as he asked and trying not to blush under the heat of his stare.

You knew that he could have kept you kneeling there for hours with his cock in your mouth, using you as a glorified sleeve. Content to watch you suffer and struggle beneath his powerful hands. “Where do you want me?” you asked, squeezing your thighs together when you felt his fingers trace down the back of your skin.

“I want you to cum,” he said, surprising you with any remote sense of generosity. Usually, Changbin wasn’t in the mood to let you cum when it involved a punishment, and so you were hesitant to believe him.

You watched as one of his hands shot out to to push against your shoulder, forcing you to sit back on the bed. He didn’t even need to ask, you went willingly with the motion, allowing yourself to lie on your back, looking up at the ceiling as Changbin moved between your parted thighs.

Instantly, you were moaning when the flat of his tongue laved over the length of your cunt, leaving your mind pleasantly blank of all rational thought.

Your uneven breaths were getting caught in your throat as he groaned long and low, silky and smooth, the hot wet of his mouth fitting over your pussy while his tongue slipped between your folds, just teasing inside your fluttering entrance.

Pleasure sparked down your spine in one salacious roll, sending your hips arching against his mouth to seek more of the molten ecstasy. He joined your hands together on your inner thighs, locking them in place as his tongue lapped up and down over your clit but then-

He pulled back without warning, and you forced down your displeasure with a muted groan at the unexpected loss, fingernails digging into the skin of his hands. Warm breaths washed over the sensitive skin of your stomach, his lips pressing kisses against naked flesh. “You always taste so good.”

The haze of arousal was already leaving a thick cloud of nothing inside your head, jumbling your words as they fell from your chapped lips. “Please don’t stop.“

You knew Changbin well enough to know that he could do just that, leave you aching and wanting for him in the name of punishing you for whatever indiscretion you had committed. But Changbin had different plans for once, and you were taken aback by the hot swipe of his tongue over your swollen clit, leaving you breathless all over again.

Your hips moved up without your discretion, but his hands managed to keep them pinned down in their search for more of his touch, and he started a steady rhythm, in perfect tune with your body like a master musician who could play you like a favorite tool. Your entire concept of rationality growing smaller and smaller to become a singular pinpoint of white hot pleasure under the insistent pressure of his tongue.

A sound you didn’t recognize echoed in your ears, the pounding of your heart and the swoosh of your blood rushing, muffled with the groans hummed against you, and it took you a long moment to realize that those noises belonged to you - a wordless sob vibrating with the tremor of your rapidly building orgasm.

Suddenly aware of your surroundings, you could hear everything else - the slick, messy glide of his tongue as he lapped at your clit, the husky grunt of his breathing and the soft whimpers he pulled from your chest. Christ, it was all too much. Coherency tested because of the overwhelming pleasure he was giving you, and you could feel the familiar strain as your core tightened and your orgasm continued to build up and up until -

His hum of approval vibrated against your swollen clit in a puff of hot air as he swirled the flat of his tongue over it and every muscle in your body seized all at once -

Your shoulders lifted off the mattress, spine curving as you tried to support yourself on your elbows, but failing as wave after wave of liquid heat pulled a trembling cry from your chest. You whispered his name as he worked your clit through it all, his tongue buzzing with the sound of his answering groan.

The climatic drop hit you with a snap, and you found yourself unable to do anything more than collapse back onto the bed. A deeply sated moan rising from your chest as Changbin’s eyes met yours from his place between your thighs. He immediately pulled back from your clit, dipping lower to gently kiss along your folds, the tip of his tongue tasting slick along its path.

You could feel powerful aftershocks rippling through your core from the teasing touches, and you huffed your discontent as the sensation mediated along the border of too much and not enough, pleasure trying to take root and build once more.

Your hands desperately clutched at him so tight that it hurt, and you loosened your grip to pull them free, sliding your fingers through his curls, fingertips twitching with the need to bring him closer and tug him away at the same time. You could feel the shiver run through him as your nails scrapes over his scalp, and he growled low, nose pressing against your swollen clit.

He jerked back and you let out a sigh of relief at the sudden rush of cool air over your core. “Did so good for me, doll.”

A pulse of want licked down your spine. His voice was raw with arousal, edged with desperation, hot and rough and impossible to deny. “Now, it’s daddy’s turn.”

He shifted onto his elbows, and suddenly you could feel two calloused fingers pressing against your entrance, circling lightly to gather your slick before dipping inside your cunt.

Your hips arched sharply at the unexpected intrusion, whining because you were still sensitive from your orgasm. You could feel him pushing his fingers deeper, your neck craning at an awkward angle to arch even further against his touch, hands leaving his hair to fist in the blankets and give you more room to anchor yourself, every cell in your body driven by the primal instinct to have him inside you.

He thrusted his fingers in to the knuckles and your inner walls squeezed tight at the heavy pressure, pulling a moan from both of you. Slowly, you watched him as he drug his fingers back until just the tips pressed inside you, and your pussy clenched once, twice, hips squirming, mewling cries pathetic even to your own ears.

His lips pressed a sloppy kiss to the crease of your thigh. “This little pussy...trying to pull my fingers in - “

“Yes please -“ your words cut off abruptly, hips finding the perfect angle that allowed you to grind down, keeping his fingers deep, satiating the desperate edge of your rising orgasm.

But it’s not enough, not enough even as he pulled his fingers back out and back in, fingertips curling and brushing over that pleasure spot and making your legs tremble.

You released your hold on the bed sheets with one hand to twist at his wrist - gasping at the obvious trail of your slick, wet on his warm skin - a moan wrenching free from your throat as he thrusted deep again. “Another please give me another -“

Your hand rushed to grasp at anything as he slipped a third finger alongside the others, stretching the walls of your cunt deliciously.

“Oh!” you cried, eyes rolling into the back of your head.

Another slow drag, a full body shudder that curled your toes, another thick stretch of your pussy around his fingers, and it’s so impossibly good, the best you’ve ever had, pleasure spiraling hot from your core. Your hips rolled with it, taking him deeper and -

His tongue lapped over your clit without warning, and you cried out his name, the sensation no longer too much but just perfect and he groaned as he repeated the same action again, a fresh wave of slick coating his fingers, making them squelch as they thrusted deeper into your cunt.

Your inner walls tightened around him desperately, ripples of pleasure coursing over your body in pulsating waves that stole the breath from your lungs, and when the tip of his tongue circled your clit and his lips closed around it to suck -

You’re eyelids snapped open, sharp pleasure swarming over your skin and splintering through your limbs and forcing a cry from deep inside your chest.

There was nothing else you could think about. Feeling yourself move closer and closer to the edge -

Then there’s the drop.

A second orgasm wracking through your body, his fingers and lips and tongue steadily pulling you through it, wringing every last drop from your throbbing cunt until you have nothing left, limbs loose and muscles spent.

You registered that he’s moving away from you again, and a heady pang of desperation squeezed a whimper from your throat but then he’s right there, warm, broad frame covering yours, a comforting weight that anchored you back to reality.

His lips trailed over your jaw, so warm and wet - from where he had so skillfully taken you apart - his mouth soaked in your pleasure.

Your fingers are diving into his hair and crushing his mouth against yours before you fully registered the taste of yourself on him.

It’s indescribable, the feeling of his lips, slick and swollen, the flavor of you on his tongue.

A sigh hummed in the back of your throat as he deepened the kiss, and you pulled him closer, legs parting to let him settle against your hips, hands sliding around his back and up the solid planes of muscle to grip his shoulders.

Your free hand dropped lower, exploring smooth skin, to palm his balls, rolling them between your fingers, and feeling them tighten in your hold. Your cunt clenched needily when Changbin grunted his approval.

Your eyelids fluttered when he moved in closer, muttering darkly in your ear, too gravely to even understand the words, the rasp and sinful promise in them as his tone became more desperate, sending another gush of wetness to drench your pussy.

Changbin’s eyes darkened at the sight, and he was suddenly on his feet, pulling you up at a dizzying strength.

“Bend over,” Changbin said, and you hesitantly turned around, leaning down to prop yourself on your elbows.

The arch in your back only deepened when he applied more force, causing you to bend at an obscene angle at the waist, shoving youe chest down onto the mattress. His fingers dug into the meat of your thighs, spreading your legs to leave you open.

“Changbin!” you mewled, your eyes barely able to focus on the sheets under your palms, feeling your wetness start to build again he grunted and slid his cock teasingly down the crack of your ass and between your pussy lips.

Your eyes rolled shut when you felt him press the swollen tip against your opening, coating himself in your arousal. He groaned low in his throat, grinding his cock between your legs slowly. You arched under him, trying to rock your hips back before a strong hand at your hip stopped your movements.

“Shh…” he leaned down to rasp in your ear, leaning over your back so you could feel the heat radiating from him, “Daddy will give you what you want.” His voice – though rough – was like the sweetest nectar as it touched a desperate, primal part of you that begged to be filled by him.

You whimpered as the thick head ran up along your slit, catching on your entrance before pushing up to nudge against your clit.

“You’re lucky that I’m not doing worse.” His growl had you practically sobbing. Begging him to end his teasing.

The sudden pressure of the head of his cock entering you was enough to make your legs tremble. Fuck, you had never been wetter, never more aroused than you were in that moment and still, the ache in your hips as he entered you, the stretch you could feel in your pussy, had you choking on a gasp of his name.

He hummed his praise as you took him in, feeling every vein as he forced your walls to part around him. It was overwhelming at first – the pulsing throb of him as you struggled to adjust to something so much bigger than his fingers – but it soon bled into an inferno that hungered for more.

“You’re so tight, so fucking tight...” he groaned, heady pants against your ear as he inched himself deeper with strong, shallow thrusts. “So fucking perfect… pulling me in...always want to be inside you,” he snarled, the spike in anger in his voice making your muscles clench automatically around him at the thought. You moaned airily as he bottomed out, brushing against your cervix, and filling you so deeply you could almost feel him in your throat.

Knocking his forehead to the back of your shoulder, he waited only long enough to pull in a few long, shuddering breaths. The overwhelming feeling of being so stuffed full of him had you grinding your hips back on his cock, desperate to have him fuck you harder. He withdrew once and sank back in, the two of you moaning at the drag of his cock along your sensitive walls.

He finally, finally started to give it to you the way you wanted, and if you thought you were prepared, you were sorely mistaken. He picked up a brutal pace almost immediately, as if being sheathed in you for those few moments had strained his control.

You loved every second of it.

Dropping both hands along your sides, he grabbed your hips more fully, and you didn’t even attempt to stop your moans, awareness of anything but you and him melting away. Your cunt gripped him in a vice as his cock dragged inside you, curving perfectly up against a part of you that made your walls quiver with every thrust.

“Fuck...” you panted and dropped your forehead to your arm to bite the soft flesh as you tried to muffle your sobs, a scream tearing from you despite your efforts when he angled his hips up perfectly to make you see stars behind your eyes and intense pleasure sizzle through you.

He was touching places that brought you the most pleasure - years of fucking shaping him to know every inch of your body - and the bump of his head against that one spongy spot inside made you clench around him.

A calloused hand ran from the base of your spine up your back to press against the scruff of your neck, giving himself a better anchor to fuck into you, your name never sounding more sinful than when he repeated it in that low, husky timbre.

“You take me so well, doll,” Changbin groaned, voice undercut with a shuddering moan that wracked his body when you tightened around him, making him thrust into you wildly while chasing a desire that had been sitting on his chest ever since you dared to speak against him in the kitchen… “s-so good… ” his words trailed off as his head fell back, surrendering to his body’s need that burned through you both hotter than the sun.

You turned your head as much as you could under his hold to look at him, and you could’ve cum just by watching Changbin – sweat glistening on his honeyed skin and accenting the defined lines of his muscles – pounding into you like it was the last time he would have the chance, his grip on your hips firm and his eyes – though glazed with lust – locked onto yours when your lips parted on his name. A growl and particularly hard thrust were the only response you received in return.

You chased your orgasm frantically, conflicted in wanting him to keep fucking you but also to satisfy the insatiable hunger inside you begging to cum.

But then… he slowed.

Changbin let out a chuckle, his hips slowed from their brutal pace to lazy rolls, his cock sliding in and out of you. You whined, the torment of feeling your release ebb away from a raging inferno to a dull ache making you push back to try and regain that hard pace from before.

You were still half-dazed with lust that it took a few seconds longer for you to notice that Changbin had reached for his phone, grumbling something under his breath. “Binnie,” you pouted as his thrusts lulled to a slow grind against your ass, his cock buried inside you and barely withdrawing before rutting back into you again with slow rotations of his hips.

“Shh…” he purred. “I just remembered something.”

“W-what?” you managed to say, choking around a forceful grind.

“Jisung.”

The sound of Jisung’s name made your eyes widen as you shuddered beneath him. You tried to shake your head as he snapped his hips forward once more, the bite to your lip the only thing stopping your moan. “Don’t punish him...”

“Then you better not disappoint me, doll,” Changbin hissed, leaning back to his full height, still grinding his thick cock inside you and the pressure of feeling so full of him made your legs shake, aching with the need for him to move.

Your eyes were wide and disbelieving, so lost in the panic of hearing Jisung’s name, that you didn’t even acknowledge his words. Not until Changbin snaked a hand around in front of you to swipe his skilled fingers over your neglected clit.

“I’ve been so good Binnie,” you tried to keep your voice steady as you spoke, and it was a miracle that you even got a full sentence out with your cunt quivering around the solid length of Changbin’s cock throbbing inside you and sending a pulse of pleasure with every breath you took. “I’ve done everything that you’ve asked.”

"I guess you have,” Changbin growled as his fingers picked up their assault on your sensitive bundle of nerves.

You jerked forward and gasped, knocking against the bedframe. “I’ll do whatever you want!”

“Let’s see if you can keep that promise…” you could feel yourself slipping back into a familiar, lust-drunk haze, trying to keep your senses about you despite how much your body was telling you to just give in to the man fucking you.

Changbin pulled his cock out drive back in with a grunt, clearly starting to become more impatient, the threat of walking the line obvious by how tight he dug his fingers into your hips, bruising the soft skin.

“You gonna disobey me again??”

“I just wanted to help!”

A snarl erupted from somewhere deep in Changbin’s chest as he picked up his pace again, the noise too loud in yours ears as his cock pounded into you harder than before, not taking kindly to your response.

“I-I’m sorry,” You managed to stutter between thrusts, trying to keep your voice from shaking but you were doing a terrible job. There was no way Changbin wouldn’t pick up on the half-hearted answer, even against the sound of his skin slapping against yours.

Changbin kneaded hard at your ass cheeks, spreading them to watch himself disappear inside of your cunt over and over before he grabbed your hips to pull you back against him. He spread his feet further apart, adjusting himself at a different angle, and just like before, white light dotted your vision when he hit something devastating inside you, the sound of your gasp loud in the room, bouncing off the walls.

“You’ll listen to me now, doll?” Changbin snarled next to your ear, leaving you to choke around a sob when he rammed himself inside, giving you no time to recover from each brutal meeting of your hips.

“I- I will,” you stammered, slurring around the words as you tried to hold on to the sheets beneath your fingers with all the strength you had left.

“Good,” Changbin purred, flashing you a familiar smirk that always managed to get under your skin in the best of ways.

Your breath caught on a short exhale, eyelids slamming closed when he gave three deep, sensual grinds of his hips before you were coming apart around him, moaning his name as you felt every bit of oxygen leave your body, the inferno building inside of you spiking with a violent shudder down your spine, leaving you spent and breathless beneath him.

“That’s my girl,” Changbin panted, returning his forehead to your shoulder as his hips lost their previous rhythm, slowly moving against you as you felt him cum with a hoarse whisper of your name.

“Fuck,” you cursed when it was all over, sweat covering your body and brushing against the heavy sheen that trickled down his own golden flesh, chest heaving against your back as you both fought to catch your breaths.

You shivered when Changbin removed his weight from behind you, slowly pulling out his cock, leaving a trail of cum to leak down the back of your thighs. You tried not to wince at the sensation, feeling the mattress dip as he laid down next to you, curling out one arm to wrap around you. His skin was hot to the touch, even more so when he drug you into his side, engulfing you from head to toe in his heady sweat-laced scent.

“Guess that mouth didn’t learn its lesson,” Changbin said in reference to your curse, finding the wherewithal to reach out and use one hand to grab your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, Y/N.”

You blinked at him, swallowing down the knot growing at the back of your throat. “Changbin-”

“Enough people are, but I don’t want you to be one of them.” he interrupted, moving closer to press a sweet kiss to your forehead.

“But Jisung-”

“I won’t punish him,” Changbin said, and his eyes reflected the sincerity of his words. “Not this time.”

You rolled your eyes, puffing out your bottom lip. “I never meant to upset you.”

“I know that, doll,” Changbin said, gaze fond as he studied you. “But I’ve got enough enemies in this city, and they wouldn’t hesitate to hurt you.”

You nodded, knowing well enough that it wasn’t an overreaction. From what you had rapidly grown to understand, there were people in this city salivating for weaknesses. A chance to bring down the biggest mafia boss and his syndicate and stake their own claim to the city’s riches.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling your eyelids grow heavy, the effects of your post-orgasmic clash making themselves known.

“Just this once,” Changbin said, and you could hear the warning in his tone, nodding your head against his chest. “Next time, you’ll be begging me to stop.”

You whimpered at his words, shivering at the possessive way he nipped at your shoulder, keeping you held tight in his arms.

Right where you belonged.

#stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #changbin smut #changbin fanfic #changbin oneshot #changbin imagines #changbin scenarios #stray kids mafia au #stray kids oneshot

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jmdbjk · 4 months

Text

Episode 2: Adolescence

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

They begin by conveying how important concerts are for them. Concerts. Not performances. Concerts.

They thought they “made it” in 2016 when they booked the Olympic Gymnastics Arena for a concert. It was the dream venue for idols at the time and are amazed they are performing there and never imagined they’d have a concert that big.

During the interviews where they are expressing their thoughts about what performing during concerts means to them, we see footage of different concerts illustrating what they are trying to explain.

Hobi harkens back to their first concert in October 2014 for The Red Bullet tour, at Seoul’s AX Korea with 6,000 in attendance. He says they didn’t care about how many hundreds or thousands were there, they were just so thankful for the fans who came to see them.

Attendance rose at each progressive concert. Their fourth concert in 2015 had 13,500 in attendance at the Seoul Olympic Handball Gymnasium, and their fifth concert in May 2016 at the Olympic Gymnastics Arena, mentioned at the beginning of this episode, had 25,000 in the audience. They were in awe at how huge it was when they first arrive at that venue, looking out at the empty seats before they began rehearsing.

They were always so emotional during their ending ments, so thankful for what they were experiencing after knowing how hard they’d worked from debut up until the end of each one of those concerts.

In the early years, the hearts of those young men were bursting with passion and to see so many fans supporting them had to be an overwhelming relief, its no surprise their emotions overflowed.

Though they finally saw their hard work being appreciated, the joy was tempered with having to deal with pushback.

One of the things I noticed that was not mentioned yet in Episode 1 was how much pushback, bullying, negativity and hate they received from their peers and other fans outside their team and company from the very first day.

Working their asses off to fulfill their dreams while being faced with all that makes it even more amazing that they stuck with it.

It was them against the entire kpop industry. We all know how much BTS is hated by other kpop fandoms. We see it daily on the X timeline. The jealousy is real, it's destructive and it's dangerous.

BTS is untouchable now but in 2013, Jungkook was 15 years old. A CHILD! Jin was 20! BigHit had no money. There was a point after debut when they were asked to move out of the dorm because the company couldn't afford it anymore. Underdogs is an understatement, truly what the hell did they think they were doing up against all these established kpop groups, their fandoms and the big 3 companies?

Now, in Episode 2, we start to hear how the guys handled all this. For some of them, they did not handle it very well. Namjoon talks about his panic attacks and how he avoids the internet and going online during a song/album release.

In Episode 1 we saw Hobi and Jin so thrilled and excited, anxiously waiting and monitoring online their very first album release at midnight on June 13, 2013 and for Namjoon to tell us now he can’t enjoy the thrill of that is so devastating to me.

When an artist sends their art out into the world, it is like a living part of themselves, an extension of themselves that they lay bare to the world. The visceral reaction of panic when seeing people hate you for it…and the amount of courage it takes to ignore that and keep going and make more art to release into the world…I challenge anyone to show me they have THAT amount of courage.

And I implore you to understand the depths these guys LOVE their fans ESPECIALLY BEFORE THEY WERE BIG to keep doing it in spite of the hate.

Yoongi was incredibly diplomatic when he says “we had a lot of unreasonable controversies.” I would have said "we had a lot of total fucking bullshit that meant nothing thrown at us by a bunch of stupid butt hurt people." There, I fixed it for you, Yoongi.

They had a ludicrous amount of people gunning for them, hating them for being successful, hating them for being different. Jealousy drives people to do the most hateful things.

Jimin says, “having to deny the bad rumors was always so upsetting.”

Namjoon recieved death threats during the Red Bullet Tour. Early on they were accused of chart manipulation because they sold so many albums. This is the company had no money, there was no money to spend on chart manipulation!

They were accused of plagiarism and brought to court and were exonerated because it wasn't true.

Jimin received death threats at the end of the Wings Tour.

Being the humans that they are, with feelings and emotions, Yoongi says they and the fans were getting desperate and spiteful in the face of all this backlash and hate.

The fan song “2! 3!” was an anomaly. It is somewhat somber for a song dedicated to fans. Most fan songs are light and cheery. But this song fit the emotions BTS was experiencing and bonded them closer with their fans and was again, another instance of the members being sincere and genuine in their expressions.

The emotional scenes of BTS standing on stage, Army singing the lyrics back at them, waving their purple plastic bagged Army bombs, has to be one of the best memories for them. A truly bonding moment between artist and fan.

December 2016, Mnet Asian Music Awards, they win Artist of the Year. It is their first major award. Yoongi says “in a movie, the ending credits are supposed to roll at this point.”

They’ve reached the top… as they knew it. End of story... 2016? Nope.

Early the next year while they were on the Wings Tour, they were told they were going to the United States for the Billboard Music Awards. No other Korean act had ever done that before. They had no expectations for that trip. They had no idea what they were supposed to do when they got there.

It’s kinda cute seeing them prepare and wondering what to expect. They are so young and you can tell they are trying to figure out if they’re supposed to try to emulate the image of a western pop star.

When they get out of the van at the red carpet event, they all look around the back of the van to the other side of the street and see the fans screaming at them. They knew who the real fans were and they wondered what everyone else thought: perhaps people were just curious about who they were.

Namjoon wonders how different it may have been had they, the members, been a little more culturally proficient, meaning at that time, they were inexperienced, naive and ignorant about the impact they were making. It was all a big wonder to them at that point. They were thinking “do they even know who we are?”

Then they win Billboard’s Social Artist award, not a major award but still, it had been won by Justin Bieber for many years prior and now it was BTS’ opportunity to kick in the door. And they did. With all seven pairs of feet. Western artists began to take note and wanted to collaborate with them. The thorn in the western music industry's side had arrived in the form of this team of 7 and their fans.

Yoongi thought it was a one-off token award, but then they were invited to perform at the AMA’s. They can’t believe they’ve made it that far.

They are soaring and going places they never imagined they’d go. Everything seemed like a fairytale, the success, the adulation, the global attention…

But it was happening too fast, their young minds, their emotional development and sense of self never had a chance to mature and catch up to their work load and the pressures and expectations their image and success placed on them. They never had a chance to stop and assess themselves personally and consider if this level of fame was something they even wanted.

Literally, they never. stopped. working. When they say "we just kept running forward" that is not a euphemism, it is literal.

As soon as one event, concert, appearance, fan meet, photo shoot, shooting Run BTS, music shows, whatever was over, it was on to the next one...from plane to hotel to venue back to hotel back to plane, to be repeated over and over.

In mid-2017, by the time they talked about resting for a while, it was perilously close to being too late. They still had the rest of the Wings Tour to complete through December. Some of them had already considered quitting. Some did not possess the confidence to endure the burden. Some of them wondered if pausing was the right thing since they were doing so well.

They were confused by how they could be feeling like this after they’d worked so hard to get to this point.

The title of this episode is "Adolescence" and it pertained not only to the members who were just emerging from it and their careers that had gotten past the starting line and now riding an almost out of control rocket to stardom. It also was a point in time for the company trying to get its feet under it, for its leader Bang PD trying to steer this team, to figure out how to manage this worldwide sensation they'd created.

Bang PD had to learn how to deal with his team's enormous success as he watched them begin to burn out. He embraced a philosophy of focusing on the importance for an artist to have autonomy and be happy as a person which was not a thing in the kpop industry at that time. He was worried about their mental well being and their happiness. He suggested a break.

They knew there was an "end" coming eventually. End of contract, military... et al. They pondered the inability to enjoy the fruits of their hard work and that it couldn't "end" with them being unhappy.

We know in 2018 they renegotiated their contracts.

For a group as close as they were, as committed as they were to their careers and to each other, they had to come together and discuss how they were feeling while being burned out, they had to admit to each other they wanted to quit. We don’t know the nitty-gritty details of how it went down but they worked through it and re-committed to each other and their team.

They didn’t give up and that tells me not a single one of them are quitters.

My own personal thoughts are that they recognized they needed to stop at that specific point in time and regroup. They knew enlistment was coming eventually and the typical life-cycle of a kpop group had been about 7 years when idols aged and younger ones took their place. But they'd reached places in the stratosphere that none other had before. I think they paused, recalibrated and actually let themselves seriously think of a future after enlistment that would allow them to keep up this level of success, to keep pushing boundaries...and therefore they re-evaluated what was in that contract to include things that ensured their well-being so they could grow. That new contract was set to expire this year, well after Jin was supposed to be back from the military and most likely all of them. I am curious to know what that original 2018 contract planning included...

Anyway, I accidentally rambled a lot adding extra context and my own thoughts while watching this episode.

Review of Episode 3 next…

#bts beyond the star #jimin #jungkook #jin #taehyung #namjoon #hobi #yoongi

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pacific-coast-hockey · 23 days

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Well, I did a corny post last year after the last home game about how much I appreciate the Cudablr community and I thought I'd do one again this year. It truly has been another year of good times on the internet and in person! However, a lot of this season was really colored by the kind of catastrophic depression I was dealing with from like mid-November to mid-March and it was pretty hard to live laugh love with these teams under those conditions. So I thought instead I'd do a bullet list of some meaningful moments to me this season:

taking @whoredeleau, @msmargaretmurry, and @kitebird-hockey to Sharks games this year and getting to see all of their reactions when the 1.800.injured ad comes up

additionally, taking Becs to a Cuda/Bakersfield Game and her watching one of the face offs with a short king line vs the Condors and bursting into laughter, saying "oh my god, it's just like Mighty Ducks 3!"

also kb being like ".....what is wrong with #3?" at a Sharks game and me having to explain like, oh that's Henry he does everything wrong but we love him anyway

wandering around the Tank before warm ups once, bored as hell, and recognizing @unbenchthekench from behind bc he was wearing a Kähkönen jersey and I was like no way anyone else on planet earth has that jersey. And it was him!

making kpop hearts with @18minutemajor at the All Star Classic at the players and falling in love with the Admirals Russian goalie, also the way the entire arena went apeshit for Shakir rolling up right before the end of the Skills events

going bananas with @bunnymcfoo when Shakir did his rookie lap and everyone around us is being like...who is that noodle call up....

also the Cuda Classroom game and the way Bunny and I both full body flinched when the kids started screaming

the number of times @tausendsorgen and I turned to each other during Cuda games going, "and in the middle of this stands Tanner Kaspick..."

honestly just the amount of dancing and singing in the stands I did this year...like in this economy we have to find our joy where we can, and sometimes that is singing and dancing along to 30 second clips of Avicii and Taylor Swift and Pitbull and Journey and "Fancy Like (Nikolai Knyzhov)"

and of course, not to be outdone, my besties Waldorf and Statler finding out the opening game next season is the weekend they're out of town and the ensuing debate I was treated to over whether or not Statler should skip the wedding

Weird year for me AND the Cuda, but not without impact or meaning, honestly. Maybe it's not exactly the same as last year, maybe the team vibes were weirder and the content was worse and I still don't know who Jack Thompson is and at this point I'm afraid to ask and I was struggling personally through it all, but it's still like. Idk it still meant something. I made beautiful new friends, I spent a lot of time with cherished old friends, I watched my flop team fail to connect their passes, and even when it was hard for me personally, me, Cuda, everyone, ee all still showed up. For me, Barracuda Disease: Year 3️⃣. We'll see what next year has in store!

#kaspershark.txt

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taehyungday · 8 months

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𝗦𝗔𝗦𝗔𝗘𝗡𝗚 - 𝚖.𝚢𝚐.

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀…𝗒𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗂 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾…𝗒𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗎

𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍…998

I'm still not sure how I ended up here, but I was tethered to a chair in a basement of a building. My lips was also taped, so I couldn't shout for help. I just remember walking back to my apartment after a successful concert a few hours ago when I suddenly felt a great deal of pain in my head region. I turned around to find a masked man with a baseball bat smeared with blood, most likely my blood. I awoke here after that. My head was still aching, therefore I got a headache. I could only hope that my fellow members of my group would come here to look for me. But I knew they didn't call me often because our group didn't have a strong bond. And since this was our final show of the tour, and our record label granted us a two-month vacation thereafter, the chances of my members or managers looking for me were little to none.

Then I heard a pair of footsteps approaching. The cellar door was suddenly opened, showing a really gorgeous man with a poker face staring at me. There were also some other men with him who appeared to be his bodyguards. The man with the poker face approached me and pulled the tape from my mouth.

"I'd been looking forward to this moment for a long time." He stated.

I had no idea what he was talking about, so I began pleading with him to help me escape out of this cellar.

"Please, sir, I have no idea who you are, but don't harm me. Please let me go because I have done nothing wrong. Sir, I beg you."

"Unless you disobey my commands, I will not harm you." You'll be living in the basement until you figure out what your role is in the house. I intend to move you from this basement to my room as soon as you start behaving good. You must sign these papers until then." He remarked this as he threw some papers at me.

"Can you tell me what these documents are about?" I stated.

"Sweetheart, don't ask questions; just do what I say or you'll finish up with a bullet in your skull." He remarked this as he drew his weapon. I was terrified.

"Untie her from the chair, Jason, and provide her a pen." He told his men.

I've never been a big fan of music. Despite the fact that I had a girlfriend who was a member of a Kpop group. Because I was in a mafia gang, I told her to keep our relationship a secret. She didn't even tell her group mates about our affair. She asked me to one of her concerts after that. I opted to go because I didn't have any plans or task. I'm not sure what occurred to me after seeing her. She was simply hypnotic. The way she sang, danced, and laughed was fascinating. I couldn't understand it, but when she walked, everything began to look prettier. Because of her, my cold, dead heart began to beat again. That night, I returned home while just thinking about her, and I slept while her lovely voice echoed in my mind.

I began stalking her from that point on. I began collecting her photographs and glueing them to the wall. I created a room particularly for her, complete with her photographs and artwork. I purchased everything that featured her in a commercial. I even purchased some makeup accessories because she was selling it. My girlfriend began to notice that I was ignoring her. One day she arrived at my mansion and discovered Y/n's room, she was astonished and immediately began wrecking the place. I tried to stop her, but she was deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly deafen After she started spewing nonsense about y/n, my mind became agitated. HOW DARE SHE. That's when I grabbed a nearby wire. Then I strangled her as a result of it.

I alerted the police about her death after she died, and I urged them to cover it up by claiming she had committed suicide. The cops didn't question me because I had power over them.

When the world learned that their beloved idol had committed suicide, they were devastated. They began to lament her death. My darling Y/n was inconsolably wailing. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but I knew it wasn't the proper time.

I couldn't wait any longer after a few months. I couldn't figure out how to love her. But, my God, how much I loved her.

I told my men to kidnap her after a few weeks. That guy, on the other hand, hurt her by striking her in the head. That jerk deserves to perish slowly and painfully. I approached my Y/n after killing him, and just by glancing at her, I could tell she was terrified. What a beautiful young lady she was. I forced her to sign papers transferring her entertainment label to me. Because the ceo was afraid of a mafia, he didn't ask me any more questions regarding the paperwork or the weather-about y/n.

Despite the fact that the fanbase and group members were perplexed as to why y/n departed the group. But I was too engrossed in my alone time with y/n to notice that.

She was a thorn in my side at first, refusing to obey my orders. I began giving her less food and left her completely alone. I didn't even pay her a visit since I wanted to make her feel lonely so she would develop Stockholm syndrome and cherish my company. And that's exactly what occurred; she was pleased to see me. She began pleading with me not to leave. That's how my Y/n figured out her place in the family and began to love me.

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active-mind-15 · 2 months

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I've had a thought for some time now... what if Akashi was a BTS fan?

At first, I was entertaining this idea simply because BTS and KNB are my biggest interests, but then I started to think harder about it, and I think it would make sense for him to be a fan of them.

Now, I know some of my KNB moots on Tumblr listen to Kpop, but I know that not everyone does, and even the ones who do are not all fans of BTS. With that being said, I'll try and explain things as best as I can for all the folks unfamiliar with BTS so this headcanon is easier to understand even for non-fans.

I predict this is going to be a very long post, so I'll have mercy on y'all and put the rest of this under the cut. Enjoy!

A summary of who BTS is for anyone reading who doesn't know them:

7-member music group from South Korea. They debuted on June 13th, 2013, and are comprised of 3 rappers and 4 vocalists. The members are RM (leader and rapper), Jin (vocalist), Suga (rapper), J-Hope (rapper), Jimin (vocalist), V (vocalist), and Jungkook (vocalist). Here's a picture for reference. I also wrote their stage names down next to each member so you know who is who.

BTS is an acronym for Bangtan Sonyeondan, roughly translating to "bulletproof boys". So, BTS aimed to be the bulletproof shield to protect people--especially those in their 10s and 20s--from harsh societal criticism that rained down on them like bullets. Their fanbase is called ARMY, an acronym that stands for "Adorable Representative MCs for Youth" (yeah I know it's wordy), and with that name, BTS hoped that listeners of their music would be inspired to find their voice and spread positivity. While they do have their fair share of cute/silly songs, a very large chunk of their work is lyrically introspective and touches on a lot of social, psychological, and even political issues. Bolstered by the fact that their music is self-written and co-produced, their authenticity is one of their biggest strong points and has allowed millions of people worldwide to relate to the messages in their music.

That being said, what does this have to do with Akashi being an ARMY? Well, I just wanted to imagine how he would become fascinated with a group like them, so I'll be splitting up this post into sections. I don't know how many sections I'll do, I'm winging this as I go, so let's just start with section 1.

HOW DID HE BECOME AN ARMY?

Mibuchi. Mibuchi strikes me as someone who would already be an ARMY and would convince Akashi to give them a shot. Maybe Akashi catches Mibuchi gushing over some photos of them online and it happens enough times that he finally cracks and asks who they are.

As someone who is an ARMY of 7+ years, when someone asks me who BTS is, I have to hold myself back from exploding where I stand because I get so excited when someone wants to know about them because they're so amazing that I always want more people to discover their music. Mibuchi, being the dedicated ARMY that he is, would instantly fill Akashi in on the details of who they are, the type of music they make, and who each of the members is, and Akashi would listen very intently, getting more curious the more he listens to Mibuchi talk about them.

Something I usually do when people ask for BTS recs is ask them for their favorite genres. The reason why I do that is because BTS has experimented with so many genres that their discography is incredibly diverse, probably more diverse than most artists I've ever listened to. So, I usually just fine-tune my recommendations to people's preferences to make the initial listening experience more palatable. And that's what Mibuchi does for Akashi. Once he gets Akashi's favorite genres, he sends him a playlist of BTS songs that fit his preferences. And so, because Akashi isn't one to turn down music recommendations, he keeps his word and listens to the playlist front to back.

After finishing the playlist, Akashi lays on his bed and stares at the ceiling, the chemistry of his brain permanently altered, wondering how on earth he went so long without knowing who BTS was.

AKASHI'S BIAS AND BIAS-WRECKER

If you don't know what these terms mean, having a 'bias' just means you have a favorite member. It's someone you feel your attention is naturally drawn to more than others in the group. You can be drawn to them for multiple reasons such as liking their voice, thinking their fashion is cool, or having a similar personality to theirs. There really are no rules for this kind of thing. A 'bias-wrecker' is a member who steals (said endearingly) your attention away from your bias, on occasion. Think of it as two members constantly replacing each other as your favorite. However, this is not always the case and not every ARMY has a bias/bias-wrecker. Some spread their attention pretty evenly across all the members and don't really have a particular favorite. But it's a fun question ARMYs like to ask other ARMYs every now and again, so for the sake of this post, I will include who I think Akashi's bias and bias-wrecker would be if he had them.

So, right off the bat, I know deep in my heart that Akashi's bias would without a doubt be Suga.

Reasons why I think Suga would be his bias:

All of the BTS members are authentic, but Suga is most notably known for his raw unfiltered lyrics and his candidness about his past experiences. He suffered a lot in his teens and 20s to be able to make music the way he is today. Despite all that, he's unafraid to speak about his mental health journey and often encourages ARMYs to be open about our own journies as well so we can normalize conversations around it and get the support we need. Through listening to Suga's story, Akashi would probably relate a lot to his struggles and gain strength from his words.

Suga's stage name is actually short for "shooting guard" because that was the basketball position he used to play back when he was in high school. So, he would get extra points in Akashi's book simply for that. I know he'd be excited to find out that piece of information and relay it back to Mibuchi, who would then show Akashi videos of Suga playing basketball and get him more excited about Suga. I can just imagine him going into captain mode and making little comments here and there like "he has a nice release" or "his shots go in very cleanly" or "I would have scouted him for Rakuzan if he were a high-schooler".

I also think there are a few similarities in their personalities Akashi would pick up on. Aside from their shared love of basketball and personal struggles with mental health as teens, I would say they're both pretty introverted, are extremely hard workers, both play piano, both show affection to their loved ones through acts of service, and both of them are incredibly strong, despite all that they've been through.

But who is Akashi's bias-wrecker? I'd have to say it'd be RM.

Reasons why I think RM would be his bias:

As I've mentioned before, RM is the official leader of BTS. I think for that reason, he would garner a lot of respect from Akashi, who would be impressed as to how he could be the leader of a globally recognized group starting from such a young age, especially when he hears about all of the hardships BTS had to face as they climbed up the ladder. As someone who has also had to step up and be a leader from a very young age, Akashi would look to RM and take notes of his leadership style to see if there's anything he could implement in his own life.

RM is also one of the main lyricists of BTS and the way he can speak and carry himself with such poise and maturity would also be another thing that Akashi respects. He loves to analyze RM's lyrics for every use of double entendres, wordplay, and literary/psychology references. (I have a separate headcanon that Akashi is at least conversational in Korean, if not fluent, so I'm sure that would make RM's lyrics all the more interesting to dissect.)

Akashi would also find similarities between himself and RM, too, outside of being leaders of their respective teams such as a love for the fine arts and nature, high intelligence (RM has an IQ of 148), and his down-to-earth demeanor.

FAVORITE BTS GROUP SONGS:

So I'm just gonna go album by album and list the songs that I think Akashi would pick as his favorite from each one, mostly due to the message in the lyrics, but some will also be because I think the instrumentals would be up his alley. I'll also provide some links to lyric videos so you guys can listen and read along to further understand my song choices. Any songs with an asterisk(*) next to them will link to a music video, so just turn on the closed captions. Fair warning, the older music videos have translated captions that are a little bit clunkier, but they're still readable. Anyway, let's go!

2 Cool 4 Skool (2013):

No More Dream*

O!RUL8,2? (2013):

Intro: O!RUL8,2?

N.O*

Skool Luv Affair (2014):

Just One Day*

Dark & Wild (2014):

Rain

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 1 (2015):

Intro: The Most Beautiful Moment in Life

Moving On

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 2 (2015):

RUN*

Butterfly

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Young Forever (2016):

Butterfly (Prologue Mix)

House of Cards (Full Length Edition)

Epilogue: Young Forever*

Wings (2016):

Lie

First Love

Reflection

2! 3!

You Never Walk Alone (2017):

Spring Day*

A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone

Love Yourself: Her (2017):

Serendipity*

Outro: Her

Sea

Love Yourself: Tear (2018):

Singularity*

The Truth Untold

Paradise

Magic Shop

Love Yourself: Answer (2018):

Euphoria

Answer: Love Myself

Map of the Soul: Persona (2019):

Mikrokosmos

Jamais Vu

Map of the Soul: 7 (2020)

Black Swan* (also the classical version*)

Louder Than Bombs

We are Bulletproof: The Eternal*

BE (2020)

Life Goes On*

Blue & Grey

Proof (2022)

Yet To Come*

For Youth

BTS has released some Japanese original songs, too, so I'll include which ones I think would be his favorite among those!

Crystal Snow (2017)

Lights* (2019)

Your Eyes Tell (2020)

FAVORITE BTS SOLO SONGS:

Each of the BTS members has dropped their own solo projects whether it be singles or full albums, so I'll go member by member and talk about which of each member's solo songs I think would be his favorite.

RM:

Life (RM, 2015)

uhgood (mono, 2018)

forever rain* (mono, 2018)

No. 2 (Indigo, 2022)

Jin:

Tonight (2019)

Abyss (2020)

Yours (2021)

Suga/Agust D:

So Far Away (Agust D, 2016)

People (D-2, 2020)

Set me free (D-2, 2020)

AMYGDALA* (D-DAY, 2023)

Snooze (D-DAY, 2023)

J-Hope:

Piece of Peace (Hope World, 2018)

Blue Side (Hope World, 2018)

Equal Sign (Jack in the Box, 2022)

Safety Zone (Jack in the Box, 2022)

Jimin:

Promise (2018)

Like Crazy* (FACE, 2023)

Alone (FACE, 2023)

Scenery (2019)

Snow Flower (2020)

Rainy Days* (Layover, 2023)

Love Me Again* (Layover, 2023)

Jungkook:

Still With You (2020)

Stay Alive (2022)

Shot Glass of Tears (Golden, 2023)

HOW AKASHI FEELS BEING AN ARMY

I think finding out such a prominent music act is singing about topics he directly relates to is such a shock to him. It's like he feels seen at long last and he isn't going through these issues alone. Even if BTS doesn't know who he is, the fact that their music speaks to him is enough to comfort him through tough times.

I'd like to think that when he's had an exceptionally rough day, he likes to just lie in bed and listen to them. He seems like the type of person to reserve time out of his day to just listen to their music in silence.

Because he became such a fan, he and Mibuchi would now have so much more to talk about with each other, and Akashi would also come to understand why Mibuchi would be such a big fan of a group like them. Together, they'd stream new releases right when they come out, watch BTS's livestreams together, and, if they're able, go to concerts together. Concerts are more of a new thing for Akashi since I feel like he has never been to a proper concert before, so the first concert he'd ever go to would probably be super overwhelming, but he'd feel reassured with Mibuchi by his side. And the concert ends up being amazing and Akashi feels like he just...belongs. Something would finally click for him that day, and he would realize that this level of connection, not just with the artists, but with the fans as well, was something he really enjoyed.

BTS would kinda stay as mainly Akashi and Mibuchi's thing, but Hayama and Nebuya do give BTS a shot, too, and find they do like a lot of their music as well. Their favorite songs are probably the more upbeat ones, though, as opposed to most of the ones I chose to be Akashi's favorites.

But the bottom line is that being able to come together with his friends over a common interest outside of basketball makes Akashi happy and he hopes he can continue to share memories with his friends through music.

Okay, I've gotta cut it off here, I have to get ready for a family dinner outing. If you managed to make it to the end of my post, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings and also the music I linked. Bye for now!

#my most self-indulgent chronic akashi brainrot yet #i have done it again #rip to whoever read all this #i just really like BTS and wanted to toy with the idea of akashi being an army #anyway gotta go #BTS #bangtan sonyeondan #kuroko no basket #knb headcanons #akashi seijuro #mibuchi reo

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ventismacchiato · 1 year

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some more btl headcanons bc why not lol(specifically kpop related *insert that one spongebob "when worlds collide" audio*)

ps this will include plenty of my beloved nugus so if you don't recognize a name that's probably why lol

obviously scara has his stuff already so I won't be listing it so I don't lose the dopamine too early

star is whatever we like

xiao is a diehard dreamcatcher fan, literally has been there since debut and probably has an almost complete set of photocards for everyone. cried when they won their first award. definitely does live reactions to groups music videos/dance practices on stream. other groups I can see him liking are craxy, nmixx and purple kiss, but also k-bands like xdinary heros and purple beck

aether probably isn't too into kpop tbh💀 he supports xiao in his dreamcatcher stanning but that's probably the only group he actually knows members and stuff lol. he definitely watches survival shows tho and spam texts xiao every elimination episode. doesn't keep up with the groups after the show ends. i can definitely see him stanning eunbi post-iz*one, he makes underwater his ringtone. also stans alexa and watched all of american song contest bc she was his pick during produce 48

jean probably listens to popular groups just bc she doesn't have much time to search out for any smaller ones. can see her liking red velvet, feel my rhythm is her favorite song from them. will listen to any group that any of the people in the au tell her about, and from them I can see her listening to iz*one and purple kiss

childe is payola(/j). no but fr tho, whenever his faves release anything ever he is collecting albums and photocards until he has complete collection. he's rich and so will travel to south korea to watch his groups at inkigayo and music bank so he can get broadcast pcs. he's not creepy tho and so he's on "friendly stranger" terms with most of the idols in groups he likes. at this point, it's a game with his fans to find him in the background of any photos of groups he likes leaving/entering a music show. can see him liking a mix of groups, so probably twice, aespa, cherry bullet, and loona

heizou loves any and all groups that have lore. pixy, loona, stray kids, etc. if they have some sort of lore, then you can count on heizou being a fan of them. probably doesn't collect all that much, he usually just buys one version of an album and accepts whatever photocards are in it like a weirdo. definetly does streams going through groups music videos/etc to look for lore and make theories

I can't remember anyone else and so I now present my theories lol

WHEN U SAID I WUDNT RECOGNIZE ANYONE I WAS LIKE DAMN BUT I RECOGNIZED EVERYONE U MENTIONED 😼 i’m just cultured like that

WDYM LOSE DOPAMINE TOO EARLY HELP

also i love this omg. i also don’t think aether wud be too into kpop, he only rlly knows things cus xiao talks about it to him and will attend concerts w him. i can totally see him eating up any survival show (he wud probably watch boys planet)

HEIZOU STANNING FOR LORE OMG adding txt to that list he probably does videos trying to dissect what’s going on

childe going all the way to korea for broadcast pcs HES SO REAL OMG 😭😭 he wud probably win fan calls and be super chill on them and when he’s at shows it turns into a mini meet n greet

kazuha probably listens to whatever heizou tells him he should but also he’s a music major so he probably does covers on the most popular songs he’s probably a keshi or DPR live stan or the rose like more soft songs yk

venti probably crazy about every group he wud be the type to decorate his lightsticks for every show and change his phone pc every other day

#behind the lens — asks

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antimony-medusa · 1 year

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God I love seeing people drift into other fandoms after leaving DSMP (as long as they do it positively and don’t do the “well that was always cringe/bad” thing. New fandom, pog, hating on the old fandom, not fun). It’s always so interesting to go “oh, i see what drew you to the source material, Godspeed”. To date, I have noticed people end up in:

Homestuck (lots of homestuck)

Hockey RPF

Critical Role

Dimension 20 (lots of dimension 20)

Kpop

Harry Potter (but specifically Marauders)

Broader MCYT (lots of empires, lots of hermitcraft, so much traffic series, lots of rats SMP, the current one is witchcraft)

Supernatural

MDZS

TMNT

Voltron

The Owl House

Shakespeare

Transformers

Pokémon (a lot of Pokémon)

Karmaland (this one gets its own bullet point cause Spanish mcyt is its own community)

Stranger Things

Sherlock Holmes (yes, multiple people)

Puss In Boots/Shrek

The Priory Of The Orange Tree

Murderbot

Persona 5

Dangonronpa

BNHA

Star Trek

My dash is so full of so many different fandoms now, and it's so fun to see. (And you're always welcome to come back if you want, but if you don't, like— I hope you're having a great time.)

#also curious what fandoms YOU"VE seen

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virgolixx · 8 months

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* Introduction *

~Welcome to my little corner of delusions~

She/her | 21

Context:

Anime: -one piece -Fairytail

Kpop: -Straykids

Other: - (I’m open to requests to write about other characters/people)

Story length:

- Head canon: bullet points of short phrases/ideas (could consist of multiple characters)

- One shot: Standard length

-Chapters: Multi chapter story

Rules:

-Allowed themes: Fluff💕, NSFW🔥, Angst💀

-Choose you ideal story length (Chapters will take longer time to complete)

-If you chose other for context, please give the following information about you character/person.

1: Name of character/person

2: where the character/person is from

3: brief description of how they act/personality

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boysplanetrecaps · 5 months

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Produce 48 Recaps: Entrances (episode 1)

Hello there, National Producer! (That’s you. You’re a National Producer.)

Do you miss giant scale Korean reality shows? Are you fainting away, wishing there was one to watch? Or are you, perhaps, a fan of AleXa, Alice/Elris, Bugaboo, Cherry Bullet, El7zup, Everglow, H1-Key, IVE, IZ*one, k-dramas, Kep1er, Le Sserafim, Lightsum, Purple Kiss, Queenz Eye, Rocket Punch, Secret Number, or any of the 48 franchises - AKB48, HKT48, or NMB48? Did you watch Sixteen or Produce 101 and want to know what happened later? Did you watch GirlsPlanet999 or Queendom Puzzle and want to know what happened before? Are you bored and enjoy snarky recaps of tv shows from five and a half years ago? If you answered yes to at least one of those questions, then stick around! And if you didn’t, stick around anyway because this is going to be great. But if you’re not a fan of (a) honest assessment of skills and performance (b) curse words ( c ) sarcasm (d) long, chatty, rabbit-hole digging, silly recaps that take longer to read than it would take to watch the show, maybe not.

You might be wondering, well, who are you, anyway? I’m an adult female human being living somewhere in North America. You can call me BPR-Unnie (or BPR-Noona, if that’s better for you. This link may help you decide!) I know a smattering of Korean and a bit about Korean culture, but I’m not Korean. I know a smattering of Japanese as well but I’m also not Japanese. My favorite kpop group is EXO and from that you would be correct to conclude I tend to have a bias toward excellent singing. But if I sneak in the fact that I have watched more than my fair share of Kai fancams, you’ll learn that I am not immune to stage presence and dancing. I like girl groups and boy groups equally and am basically just the multi-est of multi-stans, though “stanning” for me doesn’t tend to include watching variety content or buying things. For the most part, I just listen to music and watch performances.

If you’re wondering, what the heck is Produce 48? As Wikipedia says, it was “the third season of the South Korean reality competition series Produce 101. It was a large-scale project in which the public ‘produces’ a girl group by voting for members out of a pool of 96 contestants from South Korea and Japan…. The show was a collaboration between the MNET series Produce 101 and the J-pop idol group AKB48.” The winning 12 girls were announced as new project group IZ*One on August 31, 2018. (Other side note: IZ*one is pronounced “is-one” not “eye-zone”, per the Korean phonetics.)

It’s fun to go back and rewatch this show because around a third of these girls went on to do other things in the world of Kpop, and it’s fun to see them when they were so much younger. Also, shows like this are fun and weird just in general.

This recap will spoil some things, but not every single thing. I’m going to, as we go along, mention where various people end up -- I’m assuming that if you’re here, you either already know or don’t mind being spoilered on that kind thing. I will point out future members of Alice/Elris, Bugaboo, Cherry Bullet, Everglow, H1-Key, IVE, Le Sserafim, Kep1er, Lightsum, Purple Kiss, Queenz Eye, Rocket Punch and Secret Number. I’ll also point out future Queendom Puzzle visitors. But I’m not going to go out of my way to tell you exactly who makes the final lineup of IZ*one, exactly when people will be eliminated, and where every single person is going to end up (I’ll tell you after they get eliminated). That seems like the best compromise based on the poll. Plenty of people become famous after a show like this without making the final line up of the debut group -- like G-Idle’s Soyeon on Produce 101. So if you don’t know the name of every member of IZ*one, you can watch the show along with me and enjoy it, while still knowing who everyone is. And if you do want to be spoilered on who makes it into IZ*one, you can just look up the names of the members and keep that handy as you read. I hope that all makes sense!

I actually watched Produce 48 many years ago -- maybe 2019? It was after IZ*one had already debuted, so I was watching to get caught up. It was the first such show I ever watched and I wasn’t in the habit yet of taking notes to keep track of everyone, so for the most part I had no idea who anyone was the whole time. I mean, with 96 girls, many of whom meet certain beauty standards and thus can look quite similar to one another, and all of whom are in the habit of changing their hair/eye color/style constantly, it’s hard. So I have almost no memory of the show except for two things: (1) loving Huh Yunjin and (2) feeling sorry for the girl who the show made fun of for having intense eyes. I thought Yunjin was obviously the best on the whole damn show and was irritated that she was ever ranked anything other than first fucking place, and that other girl, I just wanted to give her all the hugs. We’ll meet her soon enough!

Finally, you may wonder, where am I watching the show? I watch it here: https://kshow123.tv/show/produce-48/episode-1.html I have to note that sites like this are really spammy and you’ll need a good adblocker and, to be on the safe side, working anti-virus software before you to click that link. Once you’re on the page, when you first click “play” on the video, it always opens a pop up ad that you have to close and then try again, when it will actually play. The pop-ups I’ve seen haven’t been offensive or gross in any way, and this site is less spammy than the one called kisstvshow, which bombards you with actual photos of actual peens like, immediately. Just close-up peens, glistening at you. No thank you. You can also find clips of the show on Youtube, but they’re kind of disorganized. There are some bits and pieces of episode 1 in this playlist. I’ll also provide links to individual auditions as we go.

Ok, let’s go!

We start off with some typical MNET self-congratulatory stuff -- all the buzz about this show before it even debuted! -- complete with a picture of THE SAKURA™, future visual queen of Le Sserafim. Then as a gentle piano rendition of our soon-to-be-favorite song Neko-ya plays, a voice over talks about what the 96 girls (and women) on this show think about their training journey, and we see the lovely profile of Huh Yunjin. Yay! My favorite!

We hear that it’s hard for them to be trainees and that sometimes they almost want to give up. But they keep pushing forward to try. 96 seeds working hard to sprout, and the national producers will shine on them like sunshine! Awww. Produce48 starts now!

An alarm rings, shocking us awake from our gentle piano daydream. We’re confronted with… this. Whatever this is.

It’s Lee Seung Gi, the host this time! His bed is vertical! It makes too much sense!

Ok, folks, for me personally, Lee Seung Gi being host is super important, because he’s sort of the reason I’m even here. He was one of the stars of the ridiculous, the sublime, the problematic, the perfect, My Girlfriend is a Gumiho.

This drama aired on a local Korean-language cable channel back in the day (I lived in a major city that showed foreign programming on cable), and I stumbled on it while changing channels and stood there staring at it wondering what in the actual fuck I was watching. Who needs subtitles or any knowledge of Korean when you have… this?

It’s the first piece of Korean culture I ever consumed, other than kimchi. This was even before Gangnam Style! It led to me watching more k-dramas, including, eventually, It's Okay, That's Love, starring Do Kyungsoo, also known as EXO’s D.O. I was curious about what he’d be like as a musical performer, and the rest is history. So, what I’m saying is, Lee Seung Gi set off a chain reaction that led to me eventually recapping his own performance as host of this show. The circle is complete.

Lee Seung-gi (born 1987) has been a singer, specifically a solo artist, as well as an actor, since 2004. He’s like Rain, but not as irritating. He hasn’t made much money from it because of his agency stealing from him. In fact, in April of 2023, a law was passed called “the Lee Seung-gi Incident Prevention Act” which requires entertainment companies to disclose their earnings settlement details to their celebrities at least once a year. Seems like a good thing to do. He’s still in demand, I’m sure, and quite loved, so he’ll land on his feet no matter what. Seung-gi, fighting!!

Ok, back to the show! Seung-gi explains how to vote, which we can skip -- the only info of note is that only Koreans could vote back then, quite different from the modern era -- and go to about 5:30 for an extremely bombastic set reveal.

5:49 The girls start to walk in

Note: All ages given are the (international) ages of the girls at the start of the series.

The first three to walk in are the Yuehua trainees.

Left to right: Yiren, Sihyeon, Yena

Kim Si Hyeon (김시현), age 18, in the pinky/purpley long sleeved shirt

She was also on Produce 101 (first season) as a “kaein” (individual/no-agency) trainee, where she did pretty well (made it to episode 8), but didn’t necessarily stand out. After this show, she debuted as part of Everglow, where she performs under her real name and is currently the leader, as well as a visual and “face of the group.”

Choi Ye Na (최예나), age 18, with her hair in a ponytail. We’ll be seeing a lot of her this episode!

Wang Yi Ren (왕이런), age 17, pink shirt with black edges, statement belt

She is actually Chinese, though she speaks Korean pretty fluently. You probably know her now as a member of Everglow, where she is lead dancer as well as a visual and also the “face of the group.” How many faces can a group have? Also, isn’t Mia the face of the group, as well as the body and the voice and the feet and the hands? Sigh. I really like Everglow. We just… all know the drill with line distribution and center time.

They come in and exclaim how pretty and shiny the set is and say “daebak” a lot. They sit down in a row along the top, and faintly, in the distance, Bon Bon Chocolate begins to form in a songwriter’s head.

Next in is Kim Min Ju (김민주) from Urban Works. She’s 17. She was a child actress before the show. The others are impressed that she’s here by herself and that she’s very pretty.

I love how in Korea having a small face is a compliment.

She goes to sit in the first place seat, then changes her mind and chooses 5th place instead so she doesn’t have to sit up so high.

Up next is YG Kplus, a modeling agency not to be confused with regular YG, the agency that is home to Blackpink and Treasure. The trainees are Ahn Ye Won (안예원), age 17, and Choi Yeon Soo (최연수), age 19. Yeon Soo has a celebrity chef for a father but doesn’t want to just be another nepo baby. She has the black skirt, while her label-mate Ye Won is in all red. They walk in to the strains of Blurred Lines (🤢) and the other girls exclaim jealously about how tall they are. Yewon is 172 cm and Yeonsoo is 170 cm, making them both about 5’6.

Next in is a group from CNC School, featuring some familiar faces!

Left to right: Kim Yubin, Kim Da Yeon, Lee YuJeong, Yoon Eun Bin, Hong Ye Ji

Kim Yu Bin (김유빈) is 16.

Kim Da Yeon (김다연) is 15 and you may know her (now) from GirlsPlanet999 and Kep1er. Aww, this is before she got her teeth done! She’s adorable. I am a Dayeon apologist and will hear no words against her.

Lee Yu Jeong (이유정) is 14 and you may know her (now) from Lightsum.

Yoon Eun Bin (윤은빈) is 14.

Hong Ye Ji (홍예지) is 16.

Yena thinks that the CNC girls look like babies. I think she looks like a baby! And this old lady I tutored today told me that *I* look like a baby. So I guess everyone is a baby.

Next is MMO, home to the sexy Kang Daniel, everyone’s fave from Produce101 Season 2 (often called “Broduce101”). The mere mention of his name sends Yena into a tizzy. I mean, low key same (though I’m more of an Ong Seungwoo fan [though not enough to watch his Pepsi commercial omg what was that?!?]). Anyway, out comes MMO’s Won Seo Yeon (원서연), age 18, a cute girl with a nice low voice and a pretty blue outfit. She seems worried about living up to her sunbae’s success.

Next comes pretty, big eyed Ko Yu Jin (고유진), age 17. She’s from Blockberry Creative, and the Orbits out there are now resisting the urge to smash their device screen at the mere mention of that agency! [Side note: Sensitive is a great song even if Loosemble is a terrible group name. Check out the song, forgive the name.] She’s in a cute striped shirt and interviews that her role models are Taeyon and HyunA, and you know, same.

The girls in the retro polka dot dresses are from How Entertainment.

Yu Min Young (유민영) is 18, in the mint green. Kim Min Seo (김민서) is 15, in the yellow and is a Jeon Somi fan, as are we all. Wang Ke (왕크어) is 17, Chinese, and in the red.

The next group, in white tops and black booty shorts, is from MND17 Agency.

Left to right, they are:

Park Chan Ju (박찬주), unknown age. She has the tightest shirt.

Park Min Ji (박민지), age 19, was also on Produce 101 and now (2023) is in Secret Number. She has the floofiest shirt and says she likes ChungHa, which, I mean, don’t we all, but also it’s kind of funny since she was on Produce101 with her so they probably kind of know each other.

Lee Chae Jeong (이채정), age 18, who now (2023) is in a group called Alice (formerly known as Elris).

Another girl comes out in a big yellow shirt with purple… shorts? A skirt? Unclear. She is from an agency called A -team and is named Kim Cho Yeon (김초연), age 16. After this show she was in Bugaboo, a group that has since disbanded but certainly has its adherents. She also likes Chung-Ha, so much so that she also wants to be in fourth place just like her. Also, MNET hates her. HATES HER SOOOOO MUCH.

Next out is someone from MNH Entertainment, the horrible agency that utterly mismanaged poor beautiful Chung-Ha for years. (Sihyeon, who must be practicing for later, says in Japanese that she loves Chung-Ha.)

The MNH trainee is little Lee Ha Eun (이하은), who, at 13, is the youngest on the show. She’s adorable, the way a little kid is adorable, and in a meeting with Chung-Ha herself, we see that little Haeun obviously almost worships Chung-Ha. Chug-Ha tells her to be herself and people will love her. Will this prove accurate? You’ll have to keep watching to find out! As Haeun seats herself amongst all her pretty unnies, she interviews, “This place is very pressuring.” I can’t imagine being in 8th grade and on a show like this. I don’t know how I made it to and from school every day when I was in 8th grade. I don’t know how I continued to like, breathe oxygen and use it in a redox reaction in my body without screwing that up and exploding.

Side note to my loves in middle school who may be reading this: First of all, how dare you, this is for grownups, and secondly, go ahead and read anyway. Matt Groening, creator of the Simpsons, famously said “Middle school is the deepest pit in hell” and yeah, it is. So, please know that I love you. You can do this. It’s going to be rough, can’t lie, but it does keep getting a bit better. Please don’t let these years matter all that much to you. Don’t let it scar you. You’ll get through this by just trying to have as much fun as you can and not caring about crushes and whether or not they have a crush on you, or whether other kids are being nice or mean or whatever dumb middle school shit they’re pulling on you. It doesn’t matter. Just enjoy life and be as happy as possible. Once you get older, you get to decide on the kind of adult you want to be, and if you want to surround yourself with Squishmallows and watch kpop videos with all your free time, you can. Or whatever makes you happy. Hold on. You got this. Now, back to the recap.

Yena chats a lot with her friend Sihyeon, and the editors keep showing them. Yena’s charismatic and it’s fun to get her perspective. They’re sitting in those big chairs that are kind of far apart, so she has to lean way over to do it. They are talking about how they’re excited to collaborate with the Japanese girls, and that they’re excited. Yiren grins widely as she says she want to make friends with the Japanese girls. I’ve already seen more charm and cuteness out of Yiren than I have in any given Everglow video. She’s really engaging in real life -- wish we got to see a bit more of that during her performances.

Kim Dayeon is sharing what she knows about Japanese language with her teammates, but her pronunciation is a little sus.

Stone Music is up next. The four girls come out nervously, and the other girls in the audience think they look familiar.

Left to right, they are:

Jang Gyu Ri (장규리), age 20, in pink.

Jo Yu Ri (조유리), age 16, in yellow.

Lee Si An (이시안), age 19, in purple.

Bae Eun Yeong (배은영), age 21, in mint green.

All four had already appeared on a different MNET reality competition show called Idol School, which had aired the year before this show aired. What’s interesting is that Gyuri actually *won* that show and debuted as a member of its winning group, fromis_9. A lot of famous folk were on Idol School, including a personal favorite of mine, Natty (who has since debuted in the absolutely phenomenal group Kiss of Life). I’m starting to think I should go back and watch Idol School! Anyway, that’s for another day.

Next out is Cube -- everyone is very excited since Cube is a larger agency. Han Cho Won (한초원), a tall mature looking 15-year-old in a hoodie and red pants, comes out to the strains of (then) Cube artist HyunA’s “Lip and Hip.” She squints at the audience, trying to decide where to sit, and while she does that, I’ll tell you that now (2023), Chowon is in a group called Lightsum. The other girls think she’s cool and swaggy, but to me she just looks a little confused. Maybe she has bad distance vision.

Next out is FNC, home of N.Flying and AOA. (If you watched Queendom Puzzle, you might remember Chanmi/DoHwa, who used to be in AOA.) We meet Cho Ah Yeong (조아영), age 16, wearing black, and Park Hae Yoon (박해윤), age 22, wearing white. HaeYoon has since debuted as a member of Cherry Bullet. Everyone seems to be very intimidated that they’re from FNC, but me, an intellectual in the year 2023, is thinking, yeah, but no. As far as I’m concerned, FNC stands for “FuckiNg over Cherry bullet” and if you’re like, but BPR-Unnie, that doesn’t really work as an acronym, I respond, EXACTLY. Nothing about FNC works.

People are excited to meet the Starship trainees, and MNET definitely wants all of us to be excited too. And I mean. Yeah. Here they come:

Left to right: Yujin, Kahyeon, Wonyoung

An Yu Jin (안유진), age 14, in the sleeveless shirt. She had previously been in music videos and commercials.

Jang Won Young (장원영), age 13, the tallest one, in the pants

Cho Ka Hyeon (조가현), age 14, in the collared shirt and skirt

Nothing against Kahyeon, who is a lovely and talented girl, but it’s hard not to focus on the one-two punch of Yujin and Wonyoung, future stars of IVE. It’s entirely possible you’re reading this recap just because you’re fans of one or other of them. I’ll say that I’m more of a Yujin girl than a Wonyoung girl, but I like them both. True to form, they’re boisterous, showing off their smattering of Japanese knowledge, and flirting with the camera. They take turns sitting in the number one seat briefly, and then choose other seats.

The trainees are talking about how pretty everyone is, much prettier than in Season 1, and I disagree with that part, but yeah of course they’re all pretty. Yoon Eun Bin laments that she’s “the only ugly one.” Aww, baby! And of course, we keep checking in with Yena, our unofficial narrator of this episode, as she jokes non-stop with her friend Sihyeon. It kind of reminds me of how in Broduce 101 we hung out with Kang Daniel and Yoon Ji-sung for most of episode 1.

Out next is Pledis:

Who could these tall, beautiful girls be?

Huh Yun Jin (허윤진), 16, with her hair up in a ponytail, is about 5’8. Her family name 허 is sometimes transliterated “Huh” and sometimes “Heo”. Korean vowels are hard, ya’ll.

Lee Ga Eun (이가은), 23, with her shorter hair down to just her shoulders, is about 5’7. Her name is also sometimes transliterated as Kaeun.

The others girls recognize Gaeun as a former member of After School, an idol group known for their sexy concepts. (In the performance I linked to, Gaeun is the one with her hair in two braided pigtails -- she starts off on the pole on the far left. We actually see a brief clip of that performance on this episode at about 20:58.) The girls are abuzz to see Gaeun back in the idol sphere after a few years’ hiatus. That hiatus was just due to Pledis’s mismanagement. Shock! Horror! Who would have thought that PLEDIS of all companies would screw over a talented idol group? Surely, neither of THESE girls will get screwed over on this very show?

Anyway, back to 2018. You’re going to have to accept that fact that I love both of these girls a lot, but I doubt that will be a problem, because I think you’re going to love them too. Most people do -- more about that much later! Yunjin is one of the reasons that I’m rewatching this show -- I loved her the whole time I watched it the first time, as I said earlier, and I was so incredibly happy when she debuted in Le Sserafim.

The two Pledis girls sit down and we have a brief “coming up!” montage. When we come back, we can see that more girls have come in unobserved by us, the viewers, which is fine. Finally, strains of Heavy Rotation by AKB48 begin playing (“I want youuuuuuu… I need youuuuuuu…”), and the Korean girls are excited to meet the AKB girls!

First, we learn a little bit about the franchise -- it’s like, what if a female NCT, or a TripleS, but with literally 600 members, and they’re all wearing outfits that make them look like they are members of the Piñata Marine Corps. Also, most of them can’t really sing and their choreography is mostly step-touch wiggle-wiggle.

Bless their hearts.

There is, obviously, talent amongst them, as we will see. It’s just that talent is not really a *requirement* for being in the group. Girls in the AKB48 franchise are expected to be cute and cheery on stage, to approximate some form of “singing” like noises, and to learn and do choreography so easy even I could probably do it, and I’m about as coordinated as a newborn deer. Plenty of them are capable of more, and I take my hat off to those who pushed themselves to come on this show and face this challenge. They’re in for a lot, and I respect them.

I also want to say that the biggest issue I have with the AKB48 franchise is that their fanbase is almost exclusively men in their 40s who think that 19 or 20 is over the hill. It’s like, soft-core kitty-corn and I know you know what I mean. I guess a similar allegation could be made about Produce101 in general. I don’t want to linger on this for too long because these girls just want to be entertainers and to bring some fun and excitement into their lives, and it’s not their fault that middle-aged men ruin everything. But I have to acknowledge it. I could post some really disturbing pictures here of AKB48 girls in outfits that read *really, really young* but also are obviously meant to be sexy, but I really don’t want to, in part because it might make the FBI knock on my door. Similarly, I don’t want to link to it here but I’m amazed there wasn’t a public outcry about the video for Heavy Rotation. They’re all in lingerie and rolling around together and kissing each other and bathing in a bathtub together while feeding each other cherries and whipped cream. Like, it’s not subtle. Meanwhile the song itself sounds like something from a Kidz Bop album. The juxtaposition between the cutesy childish tone and the obviously sexy, almost pornographic images is really… disturbing, there’s just no other word for it. Add in the fact that Japan might be the only developed country that’s worse than the USA in terms of how it treats and cares for women, and you’ve got a pressure cooker of ick. Poor girls. I hope they’re all safe and well -- in 2018, in 2023, and beyond.

And here they come, all 19 of the AKB48 girls, in red and black plaid outfits. This specific group is from Tokyo. (Each of the -48 groups is based in a different city.) We’ll meet these girls a bit later when they perform in smaller groups.

We see that one of them, 24-year-old Miyazaki Miho, can even write in Korean a little! Good for her. Takahashi Juri -- 20-year-old future member of Rocket Punch and visitor to Queendom Puzzle -- interviews in Japanese, “I think that the popular idol singers in Korea are really the best artists in the world.” Goto Moe, 17, says that Kpop idols are true musicians. Muto Tomu, a 23 year old palindrome, says she wants to learn from the Korean idols. She and Juri want to be the best in the world. Yes! I love the ambition.

But where will they sit?

Juri, in an outfit that would make Nina Garcia weep if she had tear ducts, is tempted by the number one seat. As she should be. We love Juri in this household. But the girls’ competitiveness gives way to their friendliness, and soon all the girls, Korean and Japanese alike, are giggling and waving and making heart signs to each other. AND THAT IS WHAT I’M HERE TO WATCH, by the way. I love this shit. Friendship is the best ship.

Juri introduces herself to MND17’s ChaeJeong in careful Korean, and ChaeJeong responds in equally careful Japanese. Everyone is using the few words they know, combined with sign language and body language, to try to bridge the communication gap. They exchange hellos and names and try to figure out who’s older. The Japanese girls think the Korean system of adding a year to your age is kind of odd, but that’s how culture do.

Next out are the girls from NMB48 - the Osaka team -- in blue outfits. Then the two SKE48 girls, from Nagoya come out, in different blue outfits. One of these two is Matsui Jurina, who is only 21 but somehow looks a bit older to me.

Asai Yuka on the left, Jurina on the right.

A lot of the girls recognize Jurina; per Wikipedia, “She is recognized as SKE48's absolute "ace", having placed in the top 10 in many of AKB48's annual general elections and winning the 2018 election.” Apparently she was in AKB48 for a while, and then chose to go back to SKE48, either for altruistic reasons (to support the smaller subunit’s success) or for her own reasons (to go back to her home city, perhaps).

You’ll be hearing more about “elections”, so let me talk about that. In the -48 system, fans who have bought a copy of a 48 album are given the right to vote for the member they like best -- the general election. In other words, it’s a popularity contest, and only fans willing to spend money are allowed to vote. (There’s a story about a fan who spent $300,000 on CDs to vote for his favorite girl!) If Jurina has won so many elections, she is/was undoubtedly quite loved by her fan base. I approve of the fact that this woman, who looks like a woman and not a little kid, is/was so loved.

Side note here, and it’s a real, real, real side note, so I'm putting it in a different color so you can skip past it if you want, but the story of the man who spent $300,000 to vote for his favorite member of AKB48 reminds me a bit of the story of Grant Amato. Let me explain. Grant Amato was in his late 20s when his life hit the skids for various reasons and he began spending a ton of time in a cam girl chat room. He began “tipping” her absurd amounts of money, convinced that this was creating a genuine bond between himself and her. He began stealing from anyone who left their credit cards in his vicinity, especially his parents, from whom he stole $200,000 or more. The family tried to put him in rehab, and told him he couldn’t talk to his “girlfriend” any more -- so he killed them, in part to remove the obstacle, and in part to get their money. Looking into this story more, I learned more about the psychology of tipping cam girls, and it seems really similar to the parasocial relationship between -48 girls and their fans. No other men in the girls’ lives; the illusion of sexy, available youth; the man feeling like a protector or guardian of the girl he's never met and never will meet…. This extremely NSFW guide to cam-girling has a lot of nuggets of wisdom, especially this: “A man wants to feel attention from an attractive women on him, and this is made even more satisfying when it’s to the exclusion of those around him. He is showing off his power by buying your happiness.” I know that Grant Amato is an extreme example when it comes to him literally murdering three family members, but other people -- nearly always men -- spend that much money on cam girls and on AKB girls and on other stand-ins for real love. I don’t have some big point to make here. Just that it doesn’t seem particularly healthy to me.

Pigtailed Sato Minami, age 14 and a member of Tokyo based AKB48, interviews that everyone in Japan knows Jurina. 17-year old Nakano Ikumi says she joined AKB48 because she idolizes her, and 14-year old Asai Yuka, the other SKE48 member in Produce48, says that they all admire her.

They aren’t sure where to sit, as now only lower-ranked chairs are available, which is so silly since it doesn’t actually matter at all what chair you sit on today, but that’s the show for you. Jurina, befuddled, says “ehhhh?” which is sort of like “what” and sort of like “otoke?” It’s so characteristically Japanese that some of the Korean girls think it’s cute. Plus, they’re all eager to make friends.

Jurina smiles with cute, puppy eyes, and then for a moment, a bit of avarice flashes over her face, and the xenophobic MNET editors make sure to zoom in on her, while letting one of the other girls give her a defining caption:

Bombastic opera music plays -- will she take the seat? She has been ranked number one enough times in her other life that it seems kind of fitting. But no. She ends up sitting down in a normal chair, interviewing that she didn’t have the courage. I don’t remember who sat in the number one seat and am starting to think it might just be whoever walks in last at this point.

I feel like I could write a whole sociological paper about the difference between girl seasons of this show and boy seasons of this show and their approach to the Number One Chair. Girls eye it but don’t like to sit on it because it marks them as greedy and makes them unpopular. Boys fight over it, either physically with arm wrestling or via skill displays, like rutting caribou. It’s really interesting.

Interlude! They’re all hungry. Juri shows off more of her Korean skills. The other girls at least know how to say the names of food and are building friendship off of a shared love of eating. Hey, that’s how you make friends with a cat or dog so it works for me. Food!

Here’s the RBW girls, who you might recognize:

Na Go Eun (나고은), in the “Respect” shirt, age 18. She is now a main vocalist of PurpleKiss.

Park Ji Eun (박지은), in the red striped shirt, age 20. She debuted in PurpleKiss but left due to an anxiety condition. Aww! Poor sweetie. Hope she’s doing ok these days.

The girls are excited for Banana Culture, partly because they’re hungry and want to eat bananas, and partly because it’s home to EXID, a group I’ve always liked too.

Out come the two Banana Culture girls, who sit down immediately:

Kim Da Hye (김다혜), on the left with black accents, who I think is 16 (but reports vary).

Kim Na Young(김나영), 15, on the right with red accents, who you may now recognize as a member of Lightsum.

Next is Woolim, and the other trainees are impressed. They should be! Check out these four:

I know this screen shot is terrible, but I’m doing my best, folks.

Left to right, that’s:

Kim So Hee (김소희), 14, who is now in Rocket Punch.

Kim Chae Won (김채원), 17, who is now in Le Sserafim.

Kwon Eun Bi (권은비), 22, who is now a soloist.

Kim Su Yun (김수윤),17, who is now also in Rocket Punch, and who you may also recognize from going on Queendom puzzle. She’s 5’7, if you’re wondering.

I’m so excited to see Sohee and Suyun meet Juri! And for Chaewon and THE SAKURA™ and Yunjin to all meet each other! This is going to be so cute.

And here’s WM Entertainment:

Left to right, that’s:

Cho Yeong In (조영인), age 16.

Lee Chae Yeon (이채연), age 18. Before this she was on Sixteen, the show that created Twice, and after this she will, among other things, make a brief appearance on Queendom Puzzle. She’s also the older sister of Itzy’s Chaeryeong, and they have a strong family resemblance. Everyone is pretty impressed by her, and I’m sure she’s glad about that.

Lee Seung Hyeon (이승현), age 17. Ok, if you watched Queendom Puzzle, I dare you to try to recognize Seung Hyeon. Do you know who she is? Picture her with chin length hair. Hold your finger up to the screen and really try. Ok, give up?

That’s Riina from H1-Key! I would have never guessed. I wonder if Chaeyeon recognized her on Queendom Puzzle? I wonder if she voted her up or down? Chaeyeon does seem to sort of do her own thing. Love how the show never mentioned that they knew each other.

It’s time for the Fukuoka-based HKT48 girls to enter, and their black logo prompts Million Market’s Son Eun Chae (손은채), 18, future member of Bugaboo, to comment to her label mate Cho Sa Rang (조사랑), 14, that black is her favorite color. Sarang replies, “Our faces must look black by now,” cracking Eunchae up. Aw, I like them.

The other Japanese girls are excited, because they know that soon they will be seeing…. THE SAKURA™. Her name means cherry blossom, and she wants cherry blossoms to blossom in your cherry. I mean heart. Whatever.

It’s always so odd to me the way that certain girls are picked out as stunningly beautiful, when to me they’re all pretty. It feels so random. Why is THE SAKURA™specifically the most beautiful? It’s like in Red Velvet. I think Seulgi and Wendy are every bit as pretty as Irene, maybe prettier. But what do I know? Also, I probably ranted about this exact same thing in one of my BP recaps. Anyway, Jo Yuri tells her labelmate Sian, “I made eye contact with Sakura and I almost fainted.” Ok, Jo Yuri is growing on me.

Everyone thinks everyone else is pretty, and cool, and cute, and intimidating. We check in again with Sarang and Eunchae, who seem to be having a fun time.

Who will be last to walk in? YG’s logo pops up on screen, shocking everyone, including our polka dotted friends from HOW Entertainment, one of whom is in the process of administering eye drops to another one when the logo pops up. YG? WUT? But no -- these are *former* YG trainees. Now, they’re here as “kaein yeonshipsaeng” -- individual trainees. Trainer-less trainees. Just… -ees. They walk out to strains of “I am the Best” by 2NE1, a song whose video I still watch whenever I need a pick-me-up.

Park Jinny (박진희), 20, with dark hair, now a member of Secret Number.

Park Seo Young (박서영), 19, with light hair.

We cut back to an interview that must have taken place some time before taping began, when Seoyeong had brown hair. We find out that Seoyeoung was in the famous “Future 2NE1” video and both of them traineed with Blackpink. They’re here to make you wonder why YG let them go.

There are only two chairs left -- the #1 seat and the #96 seat. The now-blonde Seoyeong plunks down on the number one seat and everyone applauds. When I watched it the first time, I thought even at the time that there wasn’t much chance of her making it after that. You just can’t sit in that seat and make it in to the final lineup. I’m with Yunjin, who says, “If that was the only seat left, I’d sit on the floor.” Yep.

35:10 Somi and Daniel

Two figures emerge and the girls go nuts as they recognize everyone’s favorites, Jeon Somi (ranked #1 on PD101 Season 1) and Kang Daniel (ranked #1 on PD101 Season 2). I’m happy to see them, though I’ll note that they’re both capable of looking a lot better than they do here. I’ll blame their hair -- they were both born to be honey blondes, even if it wasn’t in their DNA.

Must be kind of weird for Chaeyeong to see Somi again after they both competed on Sixteen together. But there are always all those ties amongst idols and trainees.

Somi and Daniel talk about how only viewer votes will matter here. They don’t know that this is a lie, of course. Vote rigging was absolutely a thing on all four seasons of PD101. But we’ll talk about that later.

The reality sets in for the trainees -- they’re really on PD101! Or PD48, whatever you want to call it. S&D talk about how only the top producers will work with them, how they’ll debut in Korea and Japan at the same time -- this will be big. They talk about the specific producers, who have worked with some top groups, but the names of the producers don’t ring bells for me and likely won’t for you, either: Han Sung Soo, who writes kpop hits, and Akimoto Yasushi, the creepy old dude who created AKB48 and writes their most misogynistic lyrics. Great. I am just going to call him “Gross Guy” from now on.

The girls find out that 12 of them will debut in the final lineup, which is great news, because now it’s a 1 in 8 chance of getting in. (Well, it’s a 100% chance for those whose agencies paid enough money!) Why couldn’t Kep1er and ZB1 have had 12 members? Then Park Hanbin would have been in ZB1 and I’m not sure who else would have been in Kep1er but I know it would have been great. Maybe Fu Yaning, who I will always love and hear no words against.

Anyway.

Say goodbye to Somi and Daniel because we don't see them again after this. It's time for the judges to come out! And that's what we'll pick up with next time, when we recap the first ten auditions!

#produce 48 #IZ*one #Jeon Somi #Kang Daniel #Lee Chaeyeong #Le Sserafim #IVE #BPR recaps P48 #Sakura #akb48 #rocket punch

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