Najgorszy jest brak pewności. Człowiek pada ofiarą własnej wyobraźni.
~Craig Silvey:"Jasper Jones"
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16.11.23.
Zauważyłem, że im większy kryzys psychiczny przeżywam, tym częściej wchodzę na tumblra i coś tu wstawiam. Gdy czuję się w miarę dobrze, to nie mam takiej potrzeby.
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"Nie pożegnałeś się i jakaś część mnie wierzy, że to oznacza że wrócisz."
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"W końcu jednak przychodzi taka chwila, że nie chce nam się dłużej udawać. Stajemy się sami sobą zmęczeni. Nie światem, nie ludźmi, sami sobą"
~Wiesław Myśliwski
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28.05.
Jestem śmiertelnie zmęczony, chociaż niewiele robię. Czekam aż odpocznę, chociaż wiem, że nie potrafię. Cały czas na coś czekam, chociaż z doświadczenia wiem, że nic się nie zmienia.
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I HAVE A THOUGHT.... yandere!kidnapper!könig who threatens to hurt you (ehem break your legs) after trying to escape so many times?? :O i know he's a softie but what if. he just loses it for one day and becomes this absolutely huge monster of a man... invoking so much fear inside of you
do we share a brain because i've been thinking about this for MONTHS 🫨 i absolutely love the idea of being dependent on him, having to beg him for stuff because you're not able to yourself;
you'd attempted to escape, again. yet he'd always catch you, long legs catching up to you, dragging you back home and throwing you into the basement. you never listened to his threats, his punishments - desperate to flee from him and never return.
könig warned you, but you didn't believe him. really, this man who cared and worshipped you like a goddess would break your legs? it was almost unbelievable, until he had you sobbing and crawling into a ball, begging him not to hurt you as you tried to hide yourself. but you didn't listen, and he wasn't gonna continue letting you run from him.
the man was strong, he exercised and trained in the military, his hand grabbing your leg and twisting it harshly, a crack loudly emitting. you wailed out in pain whimpering and whining, panting while sobs choked in your throat. he almost seemed heartless, cold. you lost movement in your legs, they became numb as he continued to pull and twist them into multiple positions til he was sure you'd lost mobility.
grabbing you and forcing you to stand, watching as you crumble to the floor as your legs no longer work. “crawl to me, stern.” that voice, familiar, the only voice you'd heard in years. you could barely see anything, blurry vision caused from the tears and cries, pulling yourself towards him while he smiled broadly, a monster.
he sighed with content and satisfaction, letting you gasp and pant and hyperventilate as you came to the realisation. picking you up and holding you bridal style, he was becoming your carer. könig would help you move around the house, you want a bath? you'll ask him, he'll take you and wash all that dirt off your skin that formed due to the dusty basement. you wanna watch a new show? ask very kindly, maybe he'll take you downstairs.
könig felt power and dominance over you, he'd always be with you now, retiring early and having enough money for the two of you. könig's thumbs wiped away your tears. it didn't matter if you thrashed and yelled and screamed, you wouldn't be able to leave him,
ever again.
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