#kevin hayes x reader

[skjeinon]

blue shirts - brady skjei

brady skjei x reader

warnings: smut!! use of “princess” a lot. cursing and big brothers best friend. over all mostly a cute fic, unprotected sex and a lot of praise

word count: 6700

summary: circa 2017, jimmy veseys little sister comes to visit him in new york for a week, having to stay in brady’s room due to the fact that ideally he has the biggest one. kevin hayes can cook, that’s important. (watch the kevin, jimmy and brady part of the winter classic video linked here, it helps stuff make so much sense)

my flight had been delayed 3 times due to snow in new york and i was just praying that it would clear sooner rather than later so my trip to see my brother hadn’t been cut any shorter.

growing up, me and jimmy didn’t get along the best but after he graduated, it was like a flip was switched and we were best friends, and the moment he was drafted to the new york rangers, i knew i’d have a ball when visiting him in the big apple.

i moved out west for college, never getting to play hockey on my own time, meaning him and i had our average 1 on 1 playing outing when we were together and then he’d show me every fancy restaurant he’d go to with his friends and so on, but just after his first few months settling into new york, he had moved in with one of his guys on the team.. then with another.

i had to admit, i was proud of him for being grown up and renting some really nice apartment to live in with his best friends, proof that he was successful as a hockey player and that he was finally making big boy purchases but god was it awful just the first time to go and stay with him at the first apartment.

this would be my first time staying in the apartment with him, kevin hayes and brady skjei.

the flight had finally been no longer delayed and i was told that the games for the next day or so would be cancelled meaning the moment jimmy picked me up, it was brother sister bonding time, stopping at the local corner store, getting food for us and the boys before we drove back home. the streets definitely weren’t empty, but driving in the snow was a lot easier when there was less people crowding the roads.

we had gotten to the apartment but before we had gotten out jimmys voice pierced my thoughts

“hey, put on a jacket before you get out. you’ll be cold walking upstairs and getting your bags.” he reached behind his seat, aimlessly grabbing one before letting me pull it over my frame, opening the door to his car. walking out i shivered, noting what he told me and walking with him into the building.

“staying safe jimmy?” the man at the front desk asked him.

“as always.” he smiled as we walked to the elevator. i leaned against his shoulder as we finally got to the apartment with a duffle bag, backpack, and plastic bag in hand.

“IM BACK” he yelled, his voice bounced off the walls as we heard two pairs of footsteps bound down the stairs.

“god damn, you guys are quick.”

“i’m hungry! you promised food!” kevin threw his hands up in defeat before brady had even said anything. his eyes were on me, and i got a little scared as he walked over to me, his frame towering over my own.

“hey, that’s my jacket.” he spoke, pointing at the hoodie i was practically drowning in.

“okay? i get no hi or hello?“ i squinted at him, shrugging and shaking my head a little.

“hi, hello y/n, you’re wearing my jacket. i just wanted to inform you.”

“your best-“

“hey! stop it you two. eat your damn food.”

and i looked up at jimmy who had snapped at us, literally and metaphorically, his hand reached out to snap before he pointed at the food.

something i hadn’t mentioned about brady is that there was some weird tension between us. i don’t know if he just saw me as innocent and stupid or if he just didn’t like me, or maybe i just don’t like him.. either way, he’s never been necessarily super nice to me, which is so weird cause he’s the nicest person i know. he’s always seemed jealous when i’m around chris or mika and he never just seems the same as he does with jimmy and what i know of, kevin.

me and jimmy sat next to each other, my eyes dragging on brady as we ate, and it was slow and agonizing to just sit there and stare holes into each other until i could finally get up and go grab my stuff from the car.

i walked out and jimmy sent brady after me to help, saying “i need to clean up.” and brady could feel his whole body roll its eyes.

brady threw on his jacket and chased after me, seeing me outside as snow began to fall again.

he walked out, seeing me standing at the back of jimmy’s car, with the trunk opened.

“hey, let me grab your bag.” he shouted, jogging over to me to see how the snow had began to fall, covering my hair and the shoulders of the hoodie i was wearing.

“no it’s fine i got it.” i hummed.

“if you don’t let me grab the damn bag your brother is gonna be upset.”

i stood there for a moment before i reluctantly handed him the bag. the two of us stepped back as i pulled the trunk shut, walking with him back inside.

the elevator ride up was uncomfortable.. we stood in silence but close to one another, trying to gain warmth without touching.

“you’re from massachusetts, whyre you so cold?” he asked, looking down at me, a shiver coming over me.

“well i’ve been living in california for nearly three years now, i got used to the weather..” i sounded defensive, almost snapping at him when i said it.

he felt guilty for not remembering, but at the same time, he tried his hardest to forget you everytime you’d go back out west.

when stepping out of the elevator, we walked back to the apartment and stepped inside, pulling off our shoes, as they were wet from the snow and pulling off the jackets we both wore, him taking his own back from my hands as i took it off.

“i uh, i think you’re staying in my room while you’re here. i have a couch i can sleep on, you’ll stay in my bed.” brady said, walking with my bag to the staircase, speaking as i went to walk over to my brother.

“okay, thank you.” i smiled at him.

“oh wow.. i didn’t think me making him get your bags would actually work.” jimmys voice flooded my thoughts.

“shut up, jimmy.”

once i had been shown around the apartment, properly introduced to kevin, and shown where i’d sleep, i was quietly getting settled in the dark side room off of brady’s bed room.

“yknow this may be a fire hazard.” i said to him, through the door.

“i know!” he let out a laugh through a short cry, setting up a bed area on the large couch in the main part of his bedroom. i shut the door for a moment, changing into some more comfortable clothes. pajama pants and a hoodie from the college i go to, and i walked out, seeing him laying on the couch, sprawled out like a child.

“are you sure you’re comfortable ?” i asked, his eyes moving up to meet mine.

“yeah, i’m all good.” he had a small smile on his face. i could feel the way his eyes were dragging on me, staring at the change of clothing. i wondered what thoughts flooded his big dumb head as i nodded, walking to go downstairs to the living room again.

sitting there, i talked with jimmy about plans for the week, telling me that he had gotten me tickets to come see the games.

“we’re home all week, since our away game yesterday was cancelled. i dont know what’s going to be open , but i know things will definitely start to be open again tomorrow because .. it’s new york and places never close.”

we talked, writing down an itinerary, and while we talked, i took a picture of him, tagging him on my instagram story.

the boys had a pretty active fanbase, especially brady, and i just knew people would go crazy seeing me back with jimmy, knowing jimmy was living in the same apartment with brady.

that night, i had gotten a text from chris who hadn’t talked to me in a while but last time he did i felt my heart almost implode. something about him was that he was charming, kind, humble and funny, he was from massachusetts, could speak a billion languages and i could feel myself weak in the knees when i spoke to him. i was sitting upstairs on the couch when i got it and my face lit up, smiling as i texted him back.

i could feel brady’s foot against my side.

“who ya texting..” he smiled, his eyes were

hooded. he was tired, watching TV and i was only awake just to surpass the jet lag.

“oh no one…”

“nope it’s someone.”

“fine, it’s chris.”

“kreids?”

“yeah?”

his voice changed, he sounded a little

jealous but he shrugged and relaxed back into his spot. i looked back at my phone, chris saying something along the lines of ‘hey we should get dinner while you’re here and catch up.’

“whatre you talking about..” he hummed after a few minutes.

“he wants to get dinner this week” i spoke, staring at my screen, wondering how he knew about me being back since he didn’t have social media. i guess he found out through mika?

“mh. okay.” he sounded even more jealous but i ignored it, getting up to go to bed. “it’s late, i’m gonna go try and sleep. goodnight skjeisy”

“good night, y/n” he said, giving me a short wave.

he had been laying on the couch in his pajamas, or whatever you call how a man sleeps, but shirtless and in a pair of those damn plaid pajama pants. it was freezing and the windows in his big room didn’t help but somehow he wasn’t cold, and i had asked him a few times if he was but he shook his head.

i almost gasped every time i looked at him.. there were moments where i hated him but i swear i would do anything to touch him. i don’t try to think about him that way but when he’s laying so close.. it’s hard not to.

i laid in his bed, his sheets smelled like him and i swear this was when i knew this would be the hardest week of my life, it feels like that every time.

—————————

the next morning, i woke up freezing, seeing i had knocked my blankets off the bed. the freezing cold had knocked me awake and there was a failed attempt to fall back asleep , but soon after that i gave up and stretched, getting up to go brush my teeth and make my way downstairs.

as i stepped out of the side room, i looked at brady as he was still sleeping, his upper half uncovered while he slept.

my lower lip was caught under my teeth as i chewed the pink skin, holding in whatever dirty thought over came me.

“god damnit i hate him.” i mumbled quietly before i walked out, walking to the bathroom in silence. i heard footsteps behind me , causing me to turn to see kevin.

“goodmorning kevin” i smiled, and he smiled back. he was a bad early guy, meaning he was just dragging down the hallway as he also had the same intentions, brushing teeth and going downstairs.

“goodmorning.” he mumbled.

“i just have to brush my teeth-“

“so do i , i’ll just join you.” he shrugged, the bathroom was big enough for the both of us so i scrambled through my things, grabbing my toothbrush and tooth paste. him and i mirrored each other, besides his large frame. he was tall and towered over everyone in the apartment, but especially me. his hair was held back with a headband and with my toothbrush in my mouth i asked him

“growing your hair out?”

while this was our first time properly meeting and getting to know each other, i had seen him at dinners and parties and in photos before, i could tell a clear change in his hair.

“mhm, i’ll probably cut it again” he said, looking down at me in the reflection of the mirror.

we both spit into the sink at the same time, wiping our mouths before using mouthwash momentarily. the two of us hissed at the sting, smiling at each other before walking out.

we both walked downstairs, he allowed me to go first, and as i walked down, jimmy was laying on the couch, staring at his phone.

“goodmorning jimmy.” i smiled, walking into the kitchen.

i ventured through the cabinets, finding a mug to get coffee, leaning against the counter after pouring it, staring out of the window.

“what do you usually eat for breakfast?” kevin’s voice came from behind the door of the fridge. my eyes shot to meet his as he peaked out from behind the door.

“oh- anything is fine.” i smiled.

“you sure?” he asked, and i nodded before i walked over to the couch, pulling jimmys phone from his hands.

“sit up.” he was taking up the whole couch and i just wanted to sit down to look at the list we had made the night before.

sitting down, i stared at the list as i heard brady make his way down the stairs, bidding us a goodmorning. i stayed silent, only focusing on the fact that he had pulled a shirt on. a tight one , but a shirt.

“you not gonna say anything?” jimmy spoke, his voice was sarcastic.

“huh? oh- sorry. what did you say?” i turned to look at him, my cheeks pink.

“what were you gonna say, you came over here and picked up the list, did you have something to say?”

“o-oh, yeah. i was going to tell you that chris said he wanted to have dinner with me some time this week.” i pointed to the list of things to do, and he nodded.

“oooh little sis pulling game? look at you.” he laughed, a smile on his face.

my cheeks darkened, this time out of embarrassment. i felt the seat on the other side of me dip, and i turned to see

brady sitting next to me.

“gimme the list.” his voice was rough and sleep still filled it, as his calloused hands reached out for it.

“mhm.” i hummed, giving it to him.

kevin was in the kitchen, humming as he cooked breakfast for the four of us. brady’s dark eyes scanned over the list, in his head trying to figure out what simple plans he could butt his way into just to see you…

no- just to hangout on his time off.

“here.” he spoke softly, handing the list back to me, his eyes on my face as he handed the list back. i took it, and looked back at jimmy.

“i’m sure we can make dinner with chris work..” he smiled, leaning back. his eyes met brady’s, brady quickly having looked away from me to meet his eyes.

jimmy didn’t think anything of it until he thought ..

‘wait why is he staring at my sister.’ and his eyes went wide as he looked at brady once more.

brady looked back at him like a deer in the headlights, covering his face as he stood

up to go help kevin in the kitchen.

brady would never admit it, mostly just cause he couldn’t but the reason he treated you with a snarky, rude, sarcastic act was because he didn’t want to face the fact that he was absolutely in love with jimmy veseys little sister. he wiped her from his memory everytime she’d leave, she’d come back, and he’d remember that this is how he’s supposed to act, like a transparent asshole. he’s been much more comfortable since i got here though. the touching and soft conversations without yelling at each other. i would wonder what had gotten into him but i crave his validation too much to make him revert back.

breakfast was finished, and me and jimmy were encouraged to come get food and eat. i practically jumped from my seat as i heard the opportunity for food.

“thank you, kevin.” i smiled, taking a plate from his hand. he smiled back, his boyish charm taking over as his cheeks tinted a little. he didn’t feel any way about it, but he thought it was sweet.

we all sat, and ate. we didn’t talk , but after we finished, me and jimmy cleaned up while brady and kevin went upstairs, brady taking a shower while i washed the dishes down.

i was humming to myself before jimmy began to speak, handing me the plates.

“hey.. while you’re with brady, can you at least try to not.. um. i don’t know- like-“

“SPIT IT OUT JIMMY.” i snapped at him.

“well- the look he was giving you earlier-“

“oh my god. that boy is annoyed by my every move, jimbo, it’s fine.” i rolled my eyes, finishing the dishes .

“i’m gonna go get ready.” i looked at him before i began my way up to the bedroom, walking in and sitting on the couch as i contemplated what i was going to wear, as the weather was still freezing but i’m sure i didn’t pack anything nearly appropriate enough for the weather.

i heard the door open as i stared at my phone, brady walking in with a towel around his waist and his hand in his hair, the other holding the towel up- he stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide as he saw me sitting down… facing him.

i didn’t look up until i heard him stop walking, causing our eyes to meet… then they suddenly weren’t

“c-can you.. um get out so i can change..” he tried not to panic, trying not to make a big deal out of it as i sat there, watching him in awe. his hair messy, his chest and stomach and he looked so soft and-

i nodded, speed walking into the side room to pick an outfit, struggling while all i could think about was him- i felt gross, but he looks so good. he looked nice to cuddle and hug.. and-

knock knock

“you can come out now.”

i put a shirt down and walked to the door, looking up at him.

“can .. do you have any warm clothes i can borrow?” i spoke, sounding a bit nervous.

“yeah, there’s a bunch of clothes on the rack over here and there’s some in storage boxes over there.” he pointed to the storage behind me, in the room. “go crazy.” he smiled. “is that all?”

“yeah.. thank you.” i smiled back. butterflies filled my stomach when he smiled at me.. he had me absolutely weak in the knees.

i dug through his clothes until i found an old jersey, being one of his. it clearly felt like a brand new jersey and i realized it was probably something he had bought for a gift for someone and never gave it. it had tags and stuff still on it, but jerseys are warm and i love them so i was going to take it and pull it on.

the 2015 labels on the tag were blatant so i knew it wasn’t for someone new as i grabbed some jeans and tight little black shirt to go underneath the jersey. i wore a black set to match underneath, i had no one to impress but being comfortable and fashionable is always necessary.

i took a shower, dried my hair and did my daily routine before i pulled on the clothes, drowning in the jersey, probably 2 sizes too big for me. as i walked out, i passed hayes and he stopped me

“where’d you get that jersey from?”

“uh.. brady’s clothes-“

he nodded, looking at the 76 and SKJEI plastered across my back as i walked into the bedroom to put my stuff away.

i had finished getting ready and brady was sitting on the couch when he finally acknowledged me.

“hey, i like your jersey.” he smiled, a short laugh leaving him.

“hey thanks.” i sat down on the couch, opposite to him as we had waited for jimmy to finish getting ready.

while we sat together, i could almost feel him staring at me and i just .. wanted to ask him what he wanted. but instead..

“where do you think would be a good place to get dinner with chris at?” i said, staring at my phone while he put his down, laying it in his lap.

“hm.. i dunno. i’m sure he knows some good places.” he took this as an excuse to look at me without it seeming sly.

“yeah but i trust your judgement enough.” i finally looked over at him, pressing for an answer but he looked… annoyed. oh god.

“yknow.. if you liked chris so much, why don’t you just wear his jersey, y/n”

my jaw dropped-

“SO YOU ARE JEALOUS-“

“NO IM NOT, PSH WHAT??”

“yes you are.” i stood up-

“no i’m not.” and so did he.

“yes you are, that’s why you act this way.” i stepped closer.

“act what way?” he tilted his head.

“THIS WAY, you’ve acted this way every time i’ve come to new york! you just act like an asshole cause you’re jealous. next thing,

you’re gonna be jealous of kevin!” i placed my hands on my hips, my eyes not leaving his as he struggled to think of something better to say.

“do you feel the same way?” he asked the question but it almost felt like a statement.

“yes, of course brady. you’ve been teasing me since i was 18, don’t act like i don’t have any reason not to. you’re tall, hot and play hockey for go-“

his hands were on my face before his lips crashed into mine.

“shut up” he quickly breathed against my lips.

he moved me back, sitting me on the couch, parting from the kiss

“you’re not going to dinner with chris. not without me, or jimmy or all three of us.” his hair was messy, falling over his face as he looked down at me. i nodded, practically being put in my place by him.

“we’re also going to continue this later, your brother is gonna walk in here any moment telling us we gotta go.” he spoke as he sat back down, picking up his phone again.

and as he sat down, the door began to open, jimmy poking his head in.

“did i hear yelling?”

“no.” the two of us turned to look at him in sync. my cheeks were red but jimmy ignored it as he nodded, telling us to “come on.”

the two of us jumped up, walking out together as we joined kevin downstairs. we all left the house together, standing next to jimmy as we walked out, our shoes crunched in the little bit of snow still on the sidewalk.

“i don’t understand why you guys had your games cancelled.. this is easily accessible.”

i spoke, my hands tucked into my pockets.

“well, their flight kept getting pushed back or cancelled, so we had to postpone the game. that was our only game this week besides sundays.” jimmy shrugged, thinking about how they would’ve played tampa this week.

i nodded, keeping my head low in the scarf wrapped around my neck. we had walked a while, stopping to get coffee in some small cafe before we walked down to central park.

“you wanna skate?” jimmy asked, looking down at me.

i nodded , causing him to smile. he looked around at the boys and they shrugged, willing to also join.

“awh we should’ve brought our skates.”

when skating at the park, we stayed there for hours. for a bunch of guys who do it for a living, they seem to really enjoy it when it’s not to get paid. they had gotten noticed a few times, and the jersey i wore didn’t help draw attention away from them.

‘hey, i love your jersey, go rags’

i’d hear before a gasp , and someone saying hi to brady, kevin or jimmy.

but now it was late in the afternoon and kevin was hungry so we decided to finally leave and get dinner at some local diner, pleasing the appetite of 3 big men and a smaller, less athletic girl.

i sat across from brady as we ate, my eyes shifting from my hands to his hands to his eyes while they all spoke, talking about some girl they had met last time they went to boston. i tuned out the conversation, having no interest in anything but the way brady looked, sitting in front of me.

it felt late when we had finally left to go home, being that we had been out all day, the late start to the day getting under our feet.

the moment we got home, i went upstairs and took off my boots, taking off the jersey for a moment just to pull off the shirt underneath it. walking upstairs brady had told me to not take off the jersey, he liked it on me, so i listened. i pulled on some

more comfortable pants and walked out, still wearing his jersey. he looked at me from the couch, having changed quickly, probably faster than i did. he was wearing a hoodie and a pair of grey sweats.

“you wanna hangout with me and jimmy downstairs?” i asked, he shrugged, looking back at his phone.

walking back downstairs, sitting with jimmy felt dreadful, when the words brady had spoken to me before we left played on rewind in my head. we crossed off skating in central off the list of things to do and i sat there, impatient with the way brady was acting, almost like it was nonchalant even though he had seemed so eager to get his hands on me beforehand.

“hey, i think i’m gonna hit the hay early, we can get up and do something tomorrow.” i spoke , standing up, stretching as i did so.

“we still have practice tomorrow? but it’ll be around ten am, you wanna come?”

jimmy said, looking up at me.

“eh, i’ll think about it. if i’m up, i’m up.” i shrugged as i leaned down to give him a kiss on top of the head. “goodnight.”

“goodnight, y/n”

walking back into the room, i saw him sat up, his eyes meeting mine as i walked in.

“you don’t seem very eager to ‘continue this later.’” i walked over to him, tilting my head.

“someone’s gotten worked up, huh?” he said, reaching out for my hand. i sighed, placing my hand in his, he pulled me closer.

“cmere.” he said, patting his lap. he gently pulled me closer, straddling him, my knees resting on either side of his thighs. his hands laid on my sides, fingers rubbing me gently as i placed my arms around his neck.

“is this what you want?” he asked me, his pupils blown wide in the dim room, only lit by the lamp in the corner. i nodded, placing my hand on his neck to pull him closer, placing my lips on his.

the kiss was gentle, as i felt his hands move, coming down to squeeze my thighs, pulling me closer against his own hips. a soft gasp left me as the thin fabric of my leggings left nothing to the imagination. i could feel him against me, causing my heart to race as the kissing slowly turned into messy making out.

“brady…” i mumbled against his lips, my hips slowly grinding against his.

“yeah, princess?”

“i.. mhh i want you to touch me..” breathing each other’s air as our noses touched, i felt his hands slowly come up my waist.

his hands, came up under my breasts, cupping them.

“i don’t want to take off the jersey..”

“then don’t” i giggled, our faces close as he looked down at his hands pressing against the soft, blue fabric.

“then how should i touch you baby” his eyes met mine again, he examined my face. flushed and red.

“cmon… you know, brady.”

“no, tell me princess.” he said, his hands coming down to my thighs again. he took my legs and wrapped them around his waist, picking me up, carrying me to the side room.

he gently laid me down onto the bed and looked down at me.

“im still waiting.“ he looked at me, crossing his arms over his chest.

“i-i want you to touch my pussy..” my cheeks were red, as he had pushed me into embarrassment.

“yeah there you go, baby.” he smiled, leaning down, he pulled his shirt off before he brought his hands down to the waist of my leggings. he slowly pulled them off, dragging his calloused palms over my legs. i did an inner victory dance as i remembered i had worn a matching set, but by the way he liked the jersey on me, i doubt he’d ever find out.

“you okay with this?” he spoke softly, breaking the tension for a moment.

i nodded, “yeah..” i smiled.

he nodded , leaning over to place a kiss against my lips before his hand came down, his fingers slowly dragging through my folds. my breath shuttered as he touched me, his face was close, nose brushing against mine, as he wanted to hear my noises while he teased me.

“i bet you’ve been thinking about this all day, haven’t you?” he mumbled. a small sound of approval left me.

my arms came up, wrapping around his neck as i felt his thumb press against my clit. i shivered a little, my hips pressing to his hand.

“brady..” i spoke under my breath, soft moans escaping my lips while his fingers continued to tease me.

“yeah baby? do you want more?”

“yes.. please..”

his middle finger dragged through my folds again before he entered me, causing me to pull him closer, a gasp escaping my lips.

“don’t be too loud” whether or not i had made much noise, he didn’t want to risk any of them walking in, especially my older brother.

“i-i’m trying..” his pace was slow but increased, his hands were large, and equally his fingers were thick and long. “mh.. brady.. please give me more” my gasps were hot against his, until he moved

down, his face in my neck. he gently placed messy kisses over my warm skin, careful not to bite or suck too hard, preventing hickeys that anyone else could see.

he slowly pushed in his ring finger, filing me while his thumb drew perfect circles onto my sensitive clit.

“you okay?” he whispered as he neared my ear, kissing my neck,

“yes” i spoke through a breathy voice, holding back noises as his pace increased, bringing me closer to the edge.

“i want you to cum on my fingers, okay princess?” his voice came out low and raspy. i nodded as my hips pressed to his hand, my back arching as he pushed me further.

“please, brady i’m so close..”

he looked down at me for a moment, finally his lips met mine again. he wanted to keep me quiet as i came, his fingers picking up the pace.

suddenly i felt that buildup break, my nails digging into his back as i tried to hold back my moans from his touch. a white hot sensation flooded my senses.

he positioned himself between my legs, watching me laid out in front of him.

“you look so good in that jersey..”

“mhh do i?” i spoke, my voice was tired and weak.

i looked down to see how hard he was in those sweats.

“yeah you do, baby.” he leaned down , kissing me again. i pushed my hands between my legs, gently running them up his thighs, finding his cock, hard in those dreadful sweats. pulling away from the kiss , looked down at him in my hands.

“can you take off the pants… please?” i looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, causing him to sigh, pulling off his sweatpants with rough hands.

“brady. boxers too.” my hands, still reached out, dropped with expression.

he pulled off his boxers, cheeks red as i saw him for the first time.

i was almost drooling at the sight of him, his hair messy and fallen around his face, while his stomach was squishy while he was still fit, his thighs were thick and strong and there was nothing disappointing about his dick- which really wasn’t expected in the first place, but made it more exciting.

my tongue rested against my lower lip as i bit down on it, concentrated on touching him before he had asked if he could fuck me.

“y/n, can.. i fuck you..” he sounded guilty, looking down at me, enjoying my time as i wrapped my hands around his cock.

“y-yes.” i looked up at him, my cheeks red at the question.

“then turn over, ass in the air.”

i nodded, his hands coming to my hips as he helped turn me over. he pushed my face down into the pillows of his bed.

“i want you to try and stay quiet this time.” a soft chuckle slipped through his words. i felt like i could cum just on his voice..

“yes sir” i mumbled through the sheets.

he got comfortable, making sure everything was okay before the tip of his cock was pressed against me.

“hey uh.. are you on the pill?”

“mhm..”

“good to know. can i cum inside?”

“mhm.”

he nodded, his hand gently placed on my hip, feeling as he began to spread his precum over my cunt, causing me to shiver before he let out a soft groan.

i got impatient, my hips shifting slightly, before he tightened his grip on them to still me.

“cmon baby.” he mumbled, before he entered me, slowly pushing into me as i gripped the pillow my face was planted into. a cry leaving my throat.

“f-fuck.. princess..” he threw his head out, slowly entering me until he was bottomed out. he wasn’t too big, he was thick and it was like he fit perfectly while he had stretched me out.

“you’re so fucking tight ohh my god.” he began mumbling small groans of praise, as i could hear his voice break with heavy pants.

he slowly began to move, getting the encouragement from my walls around him.

slow and steady as he began fucking me, both hands on my hips, gripping tight, trying to stay composed.

he had almost pulled out before he pulled my hips back against his, resulting in a loud moan from me into the pillow.

my knuckles were white as i gripped the sheets, trying not to be too loud. he had leaned over me, taking my hair and pushing it to the side as he began to fuck into me.

“you look so good wearing my name..”

even he couldn’t hold back the noises he was making, groans were loud as he began to hit down on his touch between mouthfuls of praises.

“baby.. fuck.. who does this pussy belong to??”

his hand came down, pressing against my back, arching it down so he can hit a better angle. his cock brushing over my g-spot, leaving me shaking.

“y-you..” i could barely form words as he destroyed me, leaving me helpless when he asked me.

“who? say my name.. say it, princess.” his hand absentmindedly traced over the number while he continued to pummel into me.

“b-brady.. it belongs to you- FUCK-“ my face was smothered by the pillow once more, muffling my loud noises. “my pussy belongs to you, brady.”

“good girl… good fucking girl..”

i could feel myself chasing my orgasm, trying hard not to allow myself to cum on his cock without him, but even he could feel it by the way i clenched around him.

“brady.. m’ gonna fucking cum”

“me too.. shit me too..” his hands came to my hips, his thumbs rubbing over my ass as he tightly gripped my hips, enough to bruise. one hand moved down, his thumb pressing to my clit as his pace began to falter, causing me to see stars as he touched the sensitive bud. i could feel myself coming closer, my vision blurring as the sound of incoherent mumbles of the both of us turn into the sound of our skin slapping until our orgasm struck through us, my juices coating his thighs as his cum filled my cunt.

as we both came down from our highs, he was leaned over me, his cock still buried deep inside of me.

“fuck.. you feel so good i don’t want to pull out.”

“brady..” i laughed, feeling the weight of his frame on my own. “get up, loser.”

he reluctantly pulled himself up, pulling out to see how his cum dripped from me.

“mhh.. look at that..”

“s-stopp..” i mumbled, cheeks burning with embarrassment, pushing my face back into the pillow.

brady helped me lay down, wiping away at my thighs with his shirt before he pulled his boxers back on.

“you probably don’t wanna wear that jersey while we sleep, let me get it off of you.”

i rolled over and sat up slightly, raising my arms in the air. the blissed out look on my face made him let out a soft chuckle. he got out of bed and grabbed a hoodie of his, handing it to me as i pulled off my bra. i pulled it over my body and he looked through my things, finding a pair of panties to give me

“these okay?”

i nodded and he handed them to me, as i put them on he stood at the edge of the bed. i was tired , my eyes were heavy as i looked up at him. i reached my arms out.

“please… sleep with me, brady..”

“i can’t.”

“please…” i stuck out my bottom lip, trying to fool him into feeling bad

“….” he thought about it. “fine.”

he got into bed with me, slowly getting comfortable as i pressed my body against his. he wrapped his arms around my waist, our legs intertwined as i pushed my face into his chest, falling asleep.

“goodnight, princess.” he mumbled.

“goodnight, brady…”

you don’t even want to hear the stern talking to that i got from jimmy the next morning when he walked into brady’s room to not see brady on the couch and in his own bed instead.

he wasn’t mad… yes he was. he was mad at brady. he was mad cause he couldn’t trust the guy to spend a week with his little sister like he had in past times of visiting. he trusted that brady could love you and please you but he also knew that you lived in california, wouldn’t move to new york just for him and what if you only liked brady for the sex you just had. which you didn’t.

“y/n…you just-“

“jimmy, i’ve had a love hate relationship with brady ever since i first met him. have you ever seen how he reacted to when i talked about guys? especially chris? cmon jimmy, open your eyes please.” an audible sigh left him.

“fine.” he grumbled, knowing even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop either of you, as you were both grown adults.

the rest of the day, kevin ripped on brady and jimmy held in whatever anger he wanted it take out on brady for getting with his sister. he just wanted to protect her, it’s what older brothers do.

when leaving the rink after practice, i was there to pick them up, and as we left, i leaned up to kiss brady on the cheek, all of us piling into the car with their gear. this was going to be a fun week in new york…

#brady skjei x reader #brady skjei #carolina hurricanes fanfiction #new york rangers #new york rangers fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl smut #smut #hockey fanfiction #fanfic #jimmy vesey #kevin hayes #frat bois #jimmy vesey is a protective older brother be kind

[hockeyboysimagines]

The girl with the broken smile

Part 1

Pairing: Travis Konecny x Natasha (Nash) Daniels

Warnings: Cheating, mentions of alcohol and STDs, lots of angst and some fist fighting.

Hi there! This a short little three shot about Nash and Travis that’s been sitting in my drafts for a while. So I figured hey, why not? Let me know if you want to read part two. If you have not read Say it to me softly please do. This won’t make sense otherwise. Enjoy!

Pain.

That was all Nash could feel as she looked at the test results from her gynecologist visit. She’d read the words a million times and she still came up with the same answer.

You’ve tested positive for Chlamydia.

She obviously was not expecting the results she’d received from her doctor, as she was living with her boyfriend and wasn’t sexually active with anyone besides him, but here she was with a positive test result. A routine screening had now derailed her entire world.

Justin had been cheating.

She’d been sitting at her table for a while now, so long she’d lost track of time. She’d been so embarrassed when the doctor read those words aloud in front of the nurse and even though she knew the truth about how she got it, it still made her feel ashamed. She’d left the office, mortified with medication and went straight home, making it inside before she’d had a breakdown.

She was numb, cold, sad and filled with uncertainty about what was going to happen with her future. But one thing she was sure of in that moment was that needed to make a phone call.

Travis.

With shaky hands she found his number, waiting while it rang three times before he answered.

“Hey!” He said brightly on the other end of the phone.

“Hey Trav.” Her lip trembled and she tried to keep her voice steady “Are-are you busy?”

“No…what’s wrong?”

He could hear she was crying and he knew Justin probably had something to do with it.

Man did he hate that guy. He’d known something was off about him the minute he met him, and his dislike had grown even larger over the past year. He’d changed Nash and turned her inside out so that to Travis she was almost unrecognizable, and he didn’t like it one bit. He treated her like dirt, and Travis spent as little time around him as possible for fear that he might murder him with his bare hands. And he didn’t keep it a secret either. He went out of his way to inconvenience Justin’s life as much as he could, and did everything in his power to come between them but Nash was holding on for dear life, like she was afraid Justin would bolt at any minute.

“Nothing. Could you just come over? Please?” Her voice broke at the last part and Travis frowned.

“Sure. Be there in 10.”

She was vaguely aware of his car rolling up outside and him coming in the door, but it wasn’t until he leaned down in front of her and his hand came down on her knee, that she registered he was in her house.

“Hey. What’s this?” He tugged the paper from her hand and his eyes moved over the words, first surprised and then furious.

“Is this-?”

“He’s been cheating on me.” Nash said quietly, a single tear slipping from her eyelid and rolling down her cheek.

“Nash. I’m so sorry-I-I’m so sorry.” He moved to sit next to her and her sobs then came full force. He rubbed her back soothingly until she was all cried out, and then braced a hand on either side of her shoulder to lean her backwards.

“What are you going to do?”

She shrugged and rubbed her forehead “I don’t know Trav. What do I do?”

“Well for starters, we gotta get you out of here. Where is he anyway?”

“Work trip. He’ll be home the day after tomorrow.”

“Good gives us plenty of time. After we do that, then I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“Trav-“

“I don’t wanna hear it Nash. I gave the guy tons of chances. My patience with him has run the fuck out and I’ve had enough.”

She didn’t say anything just nodded and let out a hiccup.

“Let me round up some of the guys, we’ll come over tomorrow and help you pack. You can stay with me till you find a place. No rush. Seriously.”

“Okay.” She said shakily, managing a small smile “I’m going to order food. Your gonna stay right?”

“Sure if you want me to. I’ll call the guys.”

They went in opposite directions and Travis left through the front door to sit on the porch.

He angrily punched in Nolan’s number and waited till it rang, foot tapping the pavement loudly.

“Hello?”

“I’m so fucking angry, fucking Justin that fucking -“ Travis started spewing hatred until Nolan stopped him.

“Whoa buddy. Calm down. What happened?”

He took a deep breath and let it put through his nose “I’m here, at Nash’s house. Justin has been cheating on her, and he has a fucking STD Pat. A fucking STD! How could he do that shit? Now she has it too! I swear I’m gonna fucking murder this guy and I-”

“Are you kidding me? Fuck.” Nolan cut him off from the other end. He heard him let out a loud sigh and then he was quiet for a few moments “What’s she gonna do?”

“She’s leaving him and she doesn’t have a choice. But I need your help. Think you can loop in some of the guys to help pack tomorrow maybe Libby too? I want her things packed and ready to move before he gets back from his work trip the next day.”

Travis heard muffled conversation in the background and then Kevin’s voice came on to the phone “An STD?!” He sounded outraged “I’m in, let’s kill him.”

“Okay you two calm down. We’re not killing anyone. I’ll call Hartsy and Beezer, and I don’t think you’ll be able to keep Libby away.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Is she okay?”

“Not at all. But she will be.”

“Take care of her Teeks.”

“We ride at dawn!” Kevin yelled in the background.

“I always do.” Trav said his goodbyes and hung up the phone. When he let himself back in Nash was seated on the sofa, knees pulled up to her chest, wine glass in hand and another sitting on the table for him. He sat down heavily and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Tomorrow morning, the guys are going to come over to help pack. Libby too.

She nodded and said “Okay. Do they uh-do they know?”In the smallest voice he had ever heard.

“I had to tell them Nash but it’s okay. They love you and they aren’t judging you for this okay? I want you to act like things are totally normal if he calls you. Don’t let on that you know anything. Understand? That fucker will come home early to try and talk you into staying and the answer is no. You know that right? There’s no coming back from this?”

“I know.” She said as a tear ran down her cheek and dropped onto her shirt, spreading across the fabric “I get it.”

“I’m staying over tonight.” He gestured to the sofa behind him “And we’ll get started early.”

“Is there something wrong with me?” She asked, eyes boring into her wine glass.

“What? No this isn’t your fault. This is on Justin okay? I mean the guys a real dick Nash.”

“Why would he do this to me?” Her voice cracked at the end, and her lower lip trembled.

“Because he’s an asshole and a piece of shit that’s why. That’s what guys like him do.”

Travis was both angry and relieved about the whole thing. The fact that Justin had done this lit him on fire, but the fact that he now would finally be able to get Nash away from him was like a weight off his shoulders.

He had only ever wanted the best for her, going as far as burying his own feelings for her in order to do so. He’d liked Nash from the start, and at one time had planned to try and take the next steps with her but then Justin had ruined everything, and for the past year he’d taken a back step and watched as the guy turned Nash inside out.

It was painful for him to know that she was completely oblivious about how he felt about her, and while she was google eyed over a guy who didn’t care about her, Travis was standing there with his heart leaking out of his chest for her. But it wasn’t about him. It was about Nash now.

This would destroy her and for all he knew she may never have another relationship again. So he would remain where he was, a step back with his heart still leaking out of his chest for as long as he had to.

“I know this is tough okay? I’m not good at all this sentimental, girl talk shit but. I’m here for you always, you know that right? And I don’t want you to rush around trying to find a place to stay. You can stay with me for a while, at least until we make sure Justin is going to leave you alone. I don’t want you to worry about any of this.”

“Thanks Trav. But it’s okay. I know it’s over. I can’t come back from this. I’ll never trust him again.”

“Good. I’m glad you get that.”

They were silent for a while, just sitting until food arrived. Travis reached in the bag and handed her a fortune cookie.

“You know.” He said as he opened his and cracked it “You can add ‘in bed’ to the end of any fortune and it makes sense?”

“Really?”

“Totally. You go first.”

She straightened her fortune out and cleared her throat as she read it “People admire your flexibility…in bed.” She blushed and laughed a little.

“Ooh kinky.” Travis said with a chuckle as he pulled out his own “You will receive an unexpected gift from an acquaintance…in bed.”

“Aren’t you Nolan roommates on the road?” Nash asked with a small smile.

“Shut up.” He said, but was smiling anyways.

Nothing warmed his heart quite like Nash when she smiled. It was about the only thing that could make a bad day better, and dark turn into light. He would act like a complete dumbass sometimes just to see it. He found himself often openly staring at her, and it was almost embarrassing how much he loved her but he was glad he was able to keep it mostly to himself.

He got her talking then, about everything and anything but Justin until she was yawning.

“Go to bed, stress makes the body shut down. I’m gonna be up for a little bit.”

“I’ll get you a pillow and some blankets, unless.” She trailed off and looked at her feet, teeth scraping across her lip.

“Unless?”

“I mean you can just come and sleep in my room..if you want that is.”

“Oh uh. Sure I mean if you want me to.”

She turned and he followed her down the hallway heart beating so loudly he could feel it in his ears. He’d seen Nash’s bedroom before obviously, but he’d never been alone in it with her in the dark.

“I uh-I just washed the sheets so you don’t have to-“

“I wasn’t even thinking about that. It’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed Nash. Remember this isn’t your fault.”

“I know. I’m gonna go wash my face, if you wanna get in….the bed.” She added awkwardly.

As she closed the bathroom door it occurred to him he’d brought nothing to sleep in.

Shirt on? Pants off? Socks?

He pulled his shirt over his head and then immediately shrugged it back on. He stepped from his jeans and then glanced around hanging them on a chair.

“There’s a pair of your gym shorts and a shirt in the third drawer down.” She called from the bathroom, almost like she knew he was in distress on the other side of the door.

“Okay. Thanks.” He called, pulling the drawer open and the clothing out. As he shut it and glanced up he spotted something that made him smile.

It was the only picture they’d ever taken together and it sat neatly on her dressed. She had her arms wrapped around him, head resting on his chest, wine induced smile across her face. It had been taken 2 weeks before she met Justin when Travis had thought maybe there was a chance and his dreams had been shattered.

He pulled the shorts on, pulling his shirt over his head and sat down on her bed just as she opened the door. She too had changed, into a large T-shirt and a pair of shorts. He tried not to look at her legs as she walked across the room and turned the light off, before slipping into bed next to him.

“Hey Trav?” She asked after a few minutes of silence. He turned his head towards her. He could barley make out her silhouette in the darkness but he could see she was on her back, staring at the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for this. All of it.”

“You don’t need to thank me for this.”

“I do. I know you’ve never liked Justin, but you’ve been putting up with him for me. Your doing this for me, I think sometimes I don’t say thank you for just being you enough and I should. I don’t know what I would do without you Trav. I love you.”

Travis bit his lip and cleared his throat “I love you too. Everything is going to be okay.” He reached down to find her hand in the darkness and gave it a squeeze “I promise.”

She turned to look at him, her face less than 6 inches from his own. He wanted to kiss her and wondered for a second if she’d let him, but this wasn’t the right time.

But if she had tried it, he would risk it for her. But instead she turned back to the ceiling and didn’t say another word, but left her hand in his until they both fell asleep.

*********

Nash was vaguely aware of a very warm body next to her the next morning. She smiled sleepily and snuggled deeper under the blankets breathing in a familiar smell and letting out a content sigh. A warm hand was resting on her lower back and legs were entangled in her own and she never wanted to move until she heard the door freak open.

“What the fuck is this.”

And then she remembered she was in bed with Travis.

Justin was standing in the doorway, mouth hanging open as both she and Travis sat upright. She realized what it must have looked like, them tangled in bed together, Travis shirtless and for a minute she panicked but then she remembered he gave her chlamydia and she stopped caring.

“You!” Travis spat and jumped out of bed. Justin blinked rapidly and bolted from the room, Travis following close behind as Nash scrambled out of bed.

“Travis no!” She yelled as he chased Justin down the hall and into the living room. Just as he neared him the front door banged open and all 6”5 inches of Kevin came barreling inside followed by Nolan, Joel and Carter and then Libby who rushed to her and enveloped her into a hug.

Kevin grabbed Travis just as he gripped the front of Justin’s shirt and made to swing on him. Nolan gave Justin a shove away from him and helped Kevin hold Travis back.

“It’s not worth it stop!” Kevin huffed as Travis thrashed around trying to get loose. Carter was standing back eyes moving around as he and Joel stood between her and Justin. Nash felt tears prick at her eyes as Travis and Justin started screaming at one another before Justin turned on her.

“You little whore. The second I go on a business trip you give it up. I fucking knew it! How long?”

“Me? I’m the whore?”

“I work my ass off to support you and I get to come home early to surprise you, only to find you in bed with him.” He pointed at Travis who lunged again just missing him.

“You gave me Chlamydia Justin!” Nash yelled, tears spilling from her eyes. Libby squeezed her arm “You cheated on me and gave me fucking Chlamydia!!”

“And I’d do it again you little slut.”

“Hey!” Libby yelled angrily “Don’t you talk to her like that!”

“Shut up you little-“

But anything else he had to say was cut short because Joel gave him a giant shove into the kitchen counter, and Travis got loose from Nolan and Kevin.

“No!” Nash screamed as Travis swung and hit Justin squarely on the cheek bone. Carter turned her around and gave her and Libby a push towards the hallway.

“Get out of here!” He yelled and turned back to the commotion in the kitchen as Libby ushered her down the hallway.

Nash cried silent tears as Libby closed and locked the bedroom door before turning to her. She could still here a lot of yelling from elsewhere in her house but it was drowned by her sobs.

“Nash I’m so sorry.” She pulled her into a long hug while Nash cried on her shoulder.

“Why? Why me?”

“Because he’s a life ruiner and that’s what guys like him do. But he is NEVER going to do this to you again do you hear me?”

Nash nodded and Libby handed her a tissue. She heard some slamming around and a door slamming and then some conversation before silence. Libby stood to unlock the door and disappeared down the hall a minute before she returned and then poked her head in the room.

“Coast is clear. You can come out now.”

Nash followed Libby down the hall, stepping around several smashed picture frames that littered the floor. A table had been knocked over, and a lamp broken, but everything else looked to be in tact. Kevin was in the kitchen rummaging in her freezer for ice, throwing the cubes down on to a washcloth, while Travis was seated at the island rubbing his hand. Joel was speaking quietly to him, talking him down like only Joel could. Carter turned and spotted her, and slid off his stool to give her a hug.

“Are you okay?“ he asked softly resting his chin on the top of her head. She sighed and returned his hug, eyes closing finally feeling safe, which was Carters superpower. Then she heard the door open.

Nolan had entered the house shutting the door behind him and locking it before turning to face them. He looked mad, cheeks red but untouched otherwise.

“He left. I don’t think he’ll be back anytime soon. So let’s get packing eh?”

The guys started moving around wordlessly, having brought boxes and tape and other moving essentials. Conversation started to flow, and Nash didn’t miss the way they kept “accidentally” knocking things over that belonged to Justin.

“You okay?” Nolan asked as he brought her a box full of her stuff and sat next to her.

“I’m alright just…ya know.” He handed her the roll of tape and watched as she rolled it out and smoothed it over the lid of the box.

“You know this isn’t your fault right? And that things are gonna get so much better from here in out. I haven’t seen Travis this excited in a long time. He can’t wait to have a roommate again.”

Nolan wouldn’t tell her why Travis was really happy, even though Travis never said it out loud to him his feelings for Nash were obvious.

“Speaking of roommates.” Nash said as she pushed the box out of the way and started doing another one “When’s your girl coming?”

Two spots of pink appeared on Nolan’s cheeks and he smiled “A few weeks. But it’s not-“

“Not like that yeah yeah if you say so. Are you excited?” They had never met Sawyer, only heard of her. For a while Travis had insisted she wasn’t real but Nolan’s imaginary friend, until he forced Nolan to call her to prove she wasn’t a figment but a real person.

“Yeah.” Nolan said nonchalantly but his eyes told a different story “It’ll be nice to see her all the time again.” He smiled a little.

“I see…” Nash said side eyeing him. He glanced over and cleared his throat.

“As a friend of course.”

“Oh Nolan. If you like her maybe you should just see what happens-“ but Nolan was shaking his head.

“No it’s not like that with us. Never has been.” He said quietly hands fiddling with a roll of tape. He was staring at his feet, and Nash had the distinct impression he wasn’t being honest.

“Never?”

“Uh no. She’s just my friend.”

“We’ll I’m excited to meet ‘Just your friend’ in a few weeks.”

He smiled and nodded before standing and wandering away. She caught Travis’s eye and sent him a small smile before Libby called her to the bedroom to help sort out what was hers.

*************

Her house was officially packed but would require another day to move out. The guys would head over in the morning to retrieve the rest of her things so she wouldn’t have to see Justin. They’d piled the boxes neatly in the corner, and filed out of the house to wait for her, giving her a few moments alone for what might be the last time she’d ever see her home.

She looked sadly around at the now nearly empty house. She’d taken everything that was hers and the house looked strange without half the things in it.

“Ready?” She turned to find Travis standing in the doorway, hands in his pockets

“Yeah just taking one last look I guess.”

He nodded and waited as she flipped off the lights and followed him to the door, locking it behind her. She felt a hot tear prick her eye and brushed it away hurriedly as she hugged everyone goodbye.

“Thank you guys.” She touched her heart and smiled at them.

“Anytime!” Joel called over his shoulder. Libby gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her she’d see her tomorrow and after Nolan and Kevin left it was just her and Travis sitting in his car in the dark.

“Ready to go…roomie?” He asked with a small smile. He held out his hand.

Nash looked at it and smiled, grabbing it and giving it a squeeze “Take me home roomie.”

#hockey fanfiction #nhl fanfiction #hockey tumblr #hockey fic #nhl fic #hockeyblr #nhl blurb #travis konecny fic #travis konecny #joel farabee #carter hart #kevin hayes #nolan patrick #hockey imagine #hockey writing #hockey tag #hockey fandom #nhl x reader #nhl flyers #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey x reader

[kyleoreillylover]

Welcome to my Account! I am a wrestling/true crime blog that has a special love for womens wrestling, Jey Uso, Dominik Mysterio, and many others:) I take requests for WWE and NXT wrestlers. I will not take requests that are homophobic, racist, islamaphobic, anti-semetic, sexist, etc. No hate is welcome here :) My master list is below!

Series

Loyalty (ft. Jey Uso, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and Jimmy Uso)

CHAPTER 1- THE BEGINNING

CHAPTER 2- THE TEST

CHAPTER 3- TIME

CHAPTER 4- JEALOUSY

CHAPTER 5- CRACKS

CHAPTER 6-LOYALTY

CHAPTER 7- PART 1- THE BATTLE BEFORE THE WAR

CHAPTER 7- PART 2- THE BATTLE BEFORE THE WAR

Jey Uso

Loyalty (ft. Jey Uso, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and Jimmy Uso)

Attention (ft. Sami Zayn)

Show, Don't Tell 📸 (ft. Sami Zayn)

Protectors(w/Sami Zayn)

Monster (w/Roman Reigns)

𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐖𝐞 𝐀𝐢𝐧'𝐭 𝐚 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 ♡

What's it like being the female member of the Bloodline?

Keep My Hands to Myself

Beat Them or Join Them

Sami Zayn

Loyalty (ft. Jey Uso, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and Jimmy Uso)

Always Take Care of You (ft. Kevin Owens)

Attention (ft. Jey Uso)

Polaroids And Kisses📸

Anger Management (ft. Kevin Owens)

Show, Don't Tell 📸 (ft. Jey Uso)

Weakness

You look so Good Under Me

Protectors(w/Jey Uso)

Hotel Room(ft. Kevin Owens)

Dominik Mysterio

Proud of You

Addicted to You

Three's a Crowd (w/Carmelo Hayes)

Dominik Mysterio Headcanons

The Bloodline!Reader x Dominik Mysterio x Rhea Ripley Part 1

The Bloodline!Reader x Dominik Mysterio x Rhea Ripley Part 2

Instagram AU! Dominik Mysterio x Fem!Black!Reader

Snuggles

Rhea Ripley

The Bloodline!Reader x Dominik Mysterio x Rhea Ripley Part 1

The Bloodline!Reader x Dominik Mysterio x Rhea Ripley Part 2

Finn Balor

In Sickness and In Health

Roman Reigns

Loyalty (ft. Jey Uso, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and Jimmy Uso)

Monster (w/Jey Uso)

Carmelo Hayes

Relationship Headcanons

Kiss and Make up

Three's a Crowd (w/ Dominik Mysterio)

Besties with Carmelo

Instagram AU! Carmelo Hayes x Fem!Black!Reader

Tiffany Stratton

A Few More Minutes

What's it Like Dating the Center of the Universe?

Wake Up Call 🩷

Kevin Owens

Loyalty (ft. Jey Uso, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and Jimmy Uso)

Always Take Care of You (ft. Sami Zayn)

Hotel Room (ft. Sami Zayn)

Anger Management (ft. Sami Zayn)

Jimmy Uso

Loyalty (ft. Jey Uso, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and Jimmy Uso)

Kyle O'Reilly

Comfort

Undisputed Era

Fem!Reader winning the Royal Rumble

Comfort in Losing

#nxt x reader #wwe x reader #wwe fanfiction #wwe #wwe imagine #wwe fic #rhea ripley #wwe x black reader #nxt #fanfic #jey uso x reader #jey uso x fem reader #jey uso x oc #jey uso x you #jey uso x y/n #roman reigns x reader #dominik mysterio fanfiction #dominik mysterio x reader #sami zayn x reader #Tiffany Stratton x reader #undisputed era x reader #Carmelo Hayes x reader #Adam Cole x reader #wwe x fem reader #jey uso smut #roman reigns smut #Carmelo hayes smut #wwe smut #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns imagine

[matthewtkachuk]

summertime and the living is easy

Kevin's your best friend and everyone has been rooting for the two of you to get together for years. One moment in the waters of Cape Cod have the potential to change everything.

pairing: kevin hayes x reader

warnings: fluuuuuuuff city over here, best friends to lovers cliches

word count: 1.3k

a/n: it's mr kevin hayes birthday and i wrote this for him but also @danglesnipecelly who told me to think of her man but not more than she does <3 my face still rly hurts so be nice. if you enjoy, pls let me know what you think!!

Kevin’s laughter can brighten any dark day, breech through any darkness, clear any grey sky. It could move mountains and topple empires and probably solve world peace if given the chance. Instead, it just rings in your ears as he wraps his arms around you and jumps in the cool water off the dock. 

“You idiot!” you sputter, smacking at the parts of him you can reach with one hand, the other clearing the saltwater from your eyes. “What if I had my phone in my pocket?”

“You didn’t,” he replies confidently, that same laughter still rumbling through him, disrupting both the water around you and your body for where you’re still pressed against him. 

It’s true, you’d left it back at the cottage but that was entirely besides the point. Kicking away from him, he finally lets you go. “But what if I did?”

“You didn’t,” he reiterates, laughing and reaching for you again but you just smack at his hand. Sighing, he concedes, “I would have replaced it, you know that.”

You roll your eyes fondly, shaking your head before pulling yourself up onto the dock. “Ma sent me to get you for dinner.”

Lazily wading, he looks up at you where you’ve got your hands on your hips, your tank top and denim shorts stuck to your body in a way that he knows can’t be comfortable. “But I didn’t catch anything,” he points to the lawn chair and fishing rod set up to your left. 

“She figured you wouldn’t.” There’s no sense in lying. Kev was too big, too loud, too boisterous to sit in silence and catch enough bass to feed the large crew that was yours and Kevin’s families. A consequence of being neighbors on the Cape, you’d grown up with Kevin—from chunky little babies to awkward, gangly teenagers to professional athlete and copywriter and everything in between. “She made lasagna now come on, you know she hates it when you’re late for dinner.”

“Well help me up, then,” he implores, reaching out to you with his right hand. You give him a look that clearly states you’re not in the mood for a practical joke. “No funny business, I swear.” 

You sigh once, so heavily Kev wonders if it’s possible for someone to carry that much indignation, before grabbing his offered hand. He quickly reveals his other hand, which was hiding behind his back, his middle and pointer fingers crossed before tugging you back into the water with him. 

This time he holds you tight, foiling your efforts to hit his chest before the thought has even occurred to you. Your fury dies on your tongue though, some variation of ‘Kevin Patrick Hayes you’re a dead man!’ flickering to the forefront of your mind before snuffing out entirely. 

Your heart beats loudly in your ears and you can feel Kev’s beating just as strongly where your chests are pressed together. He’s looking at you differently than he ever has before, or at least differently than you’ve ever caught him. The look in his eyes is smoldering, a hot fire on a cool summer’s eve, flickering and dancing with warmth as you shiver nearby. You want to get closer and closer until the warmth sets your bones on fire. 

And then he’s kissing you. Hot and heavy and like everything you never knew you wanted. His full lips capture your upper lip at first and then he’s prodding your mouth open and slipping his tongue past your teeth. The whimper that leaves you is quiet, but it may as well have been a gunshot for how viscerally he reacts, somehow pulling you even closer while giving you the freedom to slide your hands into his hair. 

It’s unexpected and crazy but it’s also the most natural thing in the world—the logical next step in the lifelong friendship you’d built, between the mutual respect and the love and the way you know everything about him and he, you. It’s perfect and it’s wild and though the water is still as cold as it was when he’d jumped in the first time, you’re unbelievably warmed for where your skin touches his and the fire of his eyes that lights you up from the inside out. 

You press closer and closer, desperately taking everything he’s willing to give until you’re broken apart by a wolf whistle. Surprised, you swing your head towards the source of the noise so fast, you’re surprised you don’t have whiplash.

It’s Kevin’s sister and one of his nieces looking far too smug and dry on the dock. “So that’s what’s taking you so long,” his sister smirks with her eyebrows raised, the very picture of ‘I told you so’ because she had. And so had everyone else. From kids on the Cape to the cooties years to awkward teenagers to when you pulled up Friday afternoon after driving an hour straight from the city. It didn’t help that Kevin was always touching you in some manner and calling you his girl—though you’d always insisted both were entirely platonic.

Kevin was one of your best friends and a steady presence in your life—or at least the summer, missing him terribly the months he was away living out his dreams in the big show, seeing him the handful of times the team took on the Bruins—and you never even thought about jeopardizing that, despite the small crush you had of course developed on him when you were younger. He was cute, sweet, funny and nice to you, how could you not fall a little in love? 

Never thought about jeopardizing that until, of course, he was pulling you into the water and then pulling you close. 

It was the greatest tragedy of your families’ lives that nothing had ever come out of the lifelong friendship. All it would take is a glass of wine or three for Shelagh and your mom to start wistfully speaking aloud their dream that you and Kevin would finally ‘work things out’. Your dad was a little less enthusiastic publicly, saying things like ‘my daughter isn’t dating until she’s forty!’ and ‘certainly not some professional athlete!’ but privately insinuating that there was no one he would trust more with your heart. 

On that note, his niece helpfully adds, “Just wait until Nana and Aunty find out!”

Groaning, you hide your face in Kevin’s damp neck as his full laughter shakes both of your bodies. “I’m never showing my face at the cottage again. You gotta smuggle me back to Boston.”

“Come on,” he tells you, pushing your wet hair behind your ear and teasing, “there’s lasagna.”

And though there’s a lot to talk about, especially but not exclusively that kiss, at the very core, he’s still your best friend and still liable for a dunk in the water for being a smartass. “I should drown you!” you shout and then push his head underwater.

That sets his niece off into giggles, leaving her mom to swoop her up into her arms and laugh too. Kevin resurfaces with a chuckle of his own and really, there’s nothing better than being surrounded by the laughter of three members of the Hayes clan. 

Except, maybe, the look on his ma’s face when her granddaughter rats you out at the dinner table. 

Or the way your dad’s hands shake when he hands you off to Kevin at the end of a sandy aisle a few short years later. 

Or your moms holding hands and crying in the front row.

Or maybe, best of all, the loud booming laughter of your husband after dipping you and slipping a little tongue into your first kiss as man and wife. 

#nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #kevin hayes fic #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes imagines #kevin hayes fanfiction #shelb writes

[ilyasorokinn]

hi!!

can I please request #3+ #7 from the physical affection prompt list with kevin hayes?? thanks

3. "smiling into a kiss" 7. "squishing their cheeks" (from this prompt list)

tw: babies, post-birth (is that the phrase?)

at 12:57 am, on a glorious thursday morning, blake hayes was born. he came out screaming his head off, clearly not very happy that he was removed from the warmth he was so used to.

he was taken away for tests but was quickly returned to you in a matter of moments. the nurse placed him on your chest, "hi, little guy." you smiled down at him, running a finger across his face.

"look at those cheeks." kevin cooed, reaching down and gently squishing blake's cheeks together.

you were left alone, and instead of getting the sleep you desperately needed, it was spent looking down at blake's sleeping face, "i can take him." kevin volunteered.

"no-"

"no, i'm not taking no for an answer. you get some sleep," he demanded.

you ran a finger over blake's face once more before carefully handing him over to kevin. kevin walked over to the couch and sat down, cradling blake to his chest.

a few days later, you were released from the hospital and ready to go home. when you stepped through the front door, you were greeted with the sight of your friends and family.

there were some decorations, and a banner that read "welcome home, blake".

"surprise!" they all shouted. your dog margot waited no time in running over to you. she began sniffing around the baby carrier.

"hey, hey, careful." kevin softly shooed her away so she wouldn't startle blake.

you pulled your attention away from margot, blake and kevin as you were wrapped in hugs from friends and family. everyone was introduced to blake and got their chance to hold him.

after a long day of meeting all his news grandparents, aunts, uncles, new friends, and everyone else in between, everyone started heading home, leaving you and kevin in your home.

both your parents and his were staying in town for a little longer just to help around the house, but they were in their own rooms. you and Kevin stared down at little blake, who was asleep.

"he looks like you." you elbowed him softly in the ribs.

"i think it's the hair. the hair is what really sells it." he joked. you smiled, leaning up to kiss him. you smiled, he smiled, it was the perfect moment.

taylor's night of neglect!

#kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes imagines #kevin hayes blurbs #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes fic #kevin hayes #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fic #nhl blurbs #nhl #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fic #hockey blurbs #hockey #philadelphia flyers imagines #philadelphia flyers imagine #philadelphia flyers blurbs #philadelphia flyers fic #philadelphia flyers #taylor writes #taylor writes: hockey #taylor's blurbs #taylor's night of neglect #night of neglect #taylor's prompt lists

[leafs-lover]

how about 78 with Kevin Hayes? 😊🥺

Dad!Kevin taken from this prompt list

Coming home you feel relaxed and rejuvenated. The start of the season, like always, was chaotic. Trey, having turned 2 a few months ago, had been struggling to adjust to daddy being gone after three months glued to his hip.

The entire off-season Kevin had a shadow. A 2’6” shadow with curly red hair and sky blue eyes, outlined by a grey ring. Besides the physical attributes your son took, he would skip alongside Kevin, constantly grasping his hand, never letting him out of his sight. The only time you could manage so much as a hug from your husband was when your toddler was sleeping, because if Trey so much as caught you looking towards Kevin he would do anything to grab his attention. Bringing him toys, dragging him to a different room, climbing into his lap. Anything he could do to capture his attention all whilst shooting you a devilish grin knowing he won.

At first the time apart was short lived and easy to manage, a few hours for practices or at the gym, the preseason media events the team scheduled, but the first road game was mayhem, and that wasn't even an overnight trip. Kevin left shortly after breakfast, was gone for under twelve hours and home by the time your son woke up the next day. Even still, Trey let it be very known he was upset by Kevin's extended absence and seeing him on TV did nothing to calm him.

As the trips got longer his tantrums grew worse. Kicking, screaming, refusing to eat, throwing toys, it didn't stop. That's why today, with his first off day, Kevin booked you a you day. A hair cut followed with a massage and a facial. At first it seemed excessive, and a long time away from your husband during a rare off day, but he insisted, saying you deserved a day to recharge. And he couldn't have been more right.

Stepping in the front door, toys litter the floor. Blocks and books, even a few ministicks, evidence of the time your boys had together. Kicking off your boots and hanging your purse you step into the living room, the explosion of toys only expanding.

The house is relatively quiet, no TV playing children's programing, no giggles or plastic being bashed off your wood floors. Noting the time it isn't all that shocking, Trey’s naptime began over forty minutes ago.

What you didn't expect was pots and pans on the counter, your pantry to be emptied, every bottom cupboard bare, belongings scattering the floor and island.

"Kev," you call out, a hint of panic in your tone. "Kev honey, you okay?"

Continuing on your search, you plan on checking Trey’s room, but stop at the office near the bottom of the stairs. Through the frosted glass doors you see a silhouette, opening them you find Kevin muttering under his breath as he paces, terror in his eyes.

"Kev?"

Stopping dead in his tracks his eyes find you, his normally grey-blue eyes are hollow and full of dread. "Hey babe, what's going on?" Keeping your voice as soft as possible, trying to mask the worry your husband is bestowing on you.

"I lost our baby," His eyes are wide, full of fear from his admission.

"What?" You laugh because what other reaction can you have to this ridiculousness.

"We were playing hide and seek, and I...I lost him." Running his hands through his hair he starts pacing once again. "I checked all the usual places, behind curtains, under tables, the coat closet, even did the whole ‘where's Trey’ bit that usually is followed by his giggling, but there was nothing. I double checked everywhere, all the doors are still locked, the Ring doorbell didn't catch any movements so he's in the house, but I have no idea where he is. YN, I lost our baby."

Fighting the smile that hits your face you walk over and grasp his large hands in yours. With a firm squeeze you say, "he isn't lost, he probably fell asleep. But let's go find him."

Stopping in the mudroom and formal living room, two places Trey doesn't really spend time in, you come up empty. Tugging on his hands you drag him up the stairs and down the hall, ignoring the protests from your husband who knows Trey tends to keep his locations to the main floor. Opening your bedroom door you head straight for the closet. Bending your knees, feeling the carpet rub against your skin, you move some of his suits, revealing your toddler. Sprawled on the floor, wearing a dinosaur t-shirt with some orange Cheezy fingerprints smeared on his stomach, using a fallen jacket as a pillow while he peacefully sleeps.

Kevin releases a sigh of relief and immediately bends down to cradle him against his chest. "How'd you know?"

"When I was getting ready a few weeks ago he followed me in and saw one of your ties. He wrapped it around his neck and said he was you. I've found him in here a few times since then. Since he wasn't downstairs I figured this was a good place to start."

Placing a kiss to your forehead he laughs for what's probably the first time in hours, "thank you for finding our baby."

“Anytime,” you laugh in response, a wide grin on your face.

#kevin hayes #kevin hayes fic #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes imagine #Philadelphia Flyers #Philadelphia Flyers fic #Philadelphia Flyers x reader #Philadelphia Flyers imagine #Philadelphia Flyers blurb #Kevin Hayes blurb #blurb weekend #prompt list #weekend writing #my writing #hockey fic #nhl fic #hockey blurb #nhl blurb #reader insert #reader insert imagine #nhl x reader #hockey x reader #reader insert blurb

[laurenairay]

Unexpected - K. Hayes

Summary: After being just friends with Kevin for over four years, can you ever be anything more?

Word Count: 10.2k

Warnings: a little angst, a lot of fluff, a smidgen of smut, friends to lovers because that’s my jam

A/N: so this originally started as a blurb which got mildly out of hand and turned into this fic. I have repeated the scene from the blurb to keep the flow the same. I have no regrets. 

This is particularly inspired from Talk About by Seaforth (thanks @antoineroussel!) and Just Friends by Virginia to Vegas (thanks @broadstbroskis!)

@danglesnipecelly @princessphilly @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @himbos-on-ice @whoeverineedtobe @flybabyfly @ipuckwithhockey @antoineroussel @babytkachuks @broadstbroskis @texanstarslove @tippedbykreider @thebookofmags @horsesandhockeyplayers @denis-scorianov @lulucanwrite @rangersftflyers @notaccurateornice @pandorasbox2020 @mattytkachuk19 @whatishockey​ @no-pucks-given​ @fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan​ @troubatrain @joelsfarabee @nuenyyx @miracleonice87

*

A party was never just a simple party when Kevin Hayes was involved. Music was pounding, beer was flowing, shots were poured, and weed was an easy haze on the back porch. You had no idea what the occasion was for one of your oldest friends to be throwing this shindig, but you weren’t complaining. Hanging out with him and relaxing after a long hard day was infinitely better than sitting at home and eating cold pizza. Again.

People always teased you about being so close with Kevin, always hinting that there must be something more between you, but you just laughed it off, knowing that he would never be interested. How could he? He had the perfect hockey WAGs lining up in queues to flirt with him – and you were just his friend. You’d known each other since you both lived in Tribeca years ago, and there had never been anything to even hint at anything more than friends. He’d never flirted with you outside of his natural charm. He’d never made a move on you in the slightest. He’d never shown the smallest bit of interest in anything other than platonic – so you knew how he felt. And to be honest, his friendship was amazing and it was something you never wanted to lose, so why would you put yourself out there when you already knew what the answer would be?

No, being friends with Kevin Hayes was exactly where you were meant to be.

You’d spent a few hours with a rotating cast of Flyers and their better halves, drinking and sharing stories about your mutual friend, but it had been a while since you’d seen him. At least a couple of non-Kevin hours. So what if you got a little needy when you were drinking? How could you not want a hug from your beautiful friend? No, bad drunk brain. Crossing that line was never worth it.

You still wanted that hug though.

So bidding the other drunk partygoers adieu, you wandered about the house in search of Kevin, coming up empty in every room…until you spotted smoke outside the kitchen window. Hah, of course. You knew how much he loved to wind down with a blunt or two. His easygoing nature was one of the things you loved most about him.

Putting down your empty drink, you walked outside, spotting Kevin and Nolan lounging on the outside sofas, Nolan with a blunt in his hand.

“Hey! You’re here!” Kevin grinned.

You shook your head fondly, wafting the pungent smoke out of your face.

“I’ve been here for hours, Kev. You’ve already seen me,” you said, smiling.

Kevin pouted, and Nolan just snickered, making you laugh.

“Weed always makes you forgetful,” you mused, sitting down on the seating next to him.

“Nuh-uh I don’t forget everything,” Kevin shrugged, turning to face you properly, “Not the important things. Like the fact that I love you, you know that right?”

Your jaw dropped slightly as his words hit you. What the everloving fuck? Why would he joke like that?

“Goddamn Kev, how high are you?” you asked, frowning.

Without waiting for him to answer, you looked over at Nolan, who just shrugged.

“I don’t know, he’s pretty baked. But I’m going to let you deal with all of that,” Nolan grimaced, waving a hand in Kevin’s general direction.

You rolled your eyes as he quickly passed Kevin the blunt and walked back inside. Yeah, thanks for the help.

“Why did Patty leave?” Kevin asked, frowning.

“Because he’s allergic to emotions? I don’t know. Maybe he just knows that you’re talking shit and he doesn’t want to deal with it,” you muttered.

“I’m not talking shit,” Kevin shot back, “I love you,”

“No you don’t,” you said, rolling your eyes again.

Seriously? Where had this come from? This wasn’t fair, he couldn’t say that when you knew it wasn’t true. Where had he gotten this lot of weed from? Clearly it didn’t agree with him.

“Yes I do! I know my own feelings,” Kevin insisted.

“Right, yeah, sure you do,” you sighed.

You were neither drunk enough nor high enough for this conversation. This was…not how you expected this evening to go. And just like that, your good mood was ruined.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Kevin asked softly.

“Not even in the slightest, Kev,” you said, smiling sadly.

Of course you didn’t. Why, after all this time, would he be saying the words you most wanted to hear from him? There was no logic behind it – there was no way it could be true. He’d never ever shown any hint of this to be true.

“I’ll prove it to you,” he said firmly.

And then he placed his hand on your thigh, making you inhale sharply, the warmth of his large hand sending tingles through your body. No.

“This is not the time or place, Kevin,” you said shortly, “You are stoned out of your fucking mind,”

“You said my full name. You never say my full name,” he said sadly.

Of course that’s what he picked up out of that. Clearly he wasn’t going to get any easier to talk to…and while normally that made for some pretty fun conversation, tonight it wasn’t going to happen. And you couldn’t sit around and listen to more of this.

“I’m just going to go,” you sighed, nudging his hand off your thigh and standing upright.

“What? No!” Kevin said, eyes wide and sad.

“I can’t,” you said, forcing a smile, “I can’t stay and hear this, when I know you don’t mean it when you’re sober,”

“But…”

“I’ll send Nolan back out, okay? I’ll…talk to you later, Kev,” you said firmly, interrupting him.

Without waiting for another answer, you quickly walked back into the house, heartbeat racing in your ears and a lump in your throat. At least you didn’t have to go far to look for Nolan – he was standing just inside in the kitchen.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he frowned.

You just shook your head, smiling thinly, not wanting to go into it. “I’m going to go,”

“But he…”

“Kev will be fine – you don’t mind going back out there with him, right?” you said, interrupting.

Nolan pressed his lips together but shook his head. “No, I don’t mind,”

“Good. Good. Um, I’m sure I’ll see you around?” you offered.

Would you? Who knows. How long would you even need before you could see Kevin again without your heart aching?

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Nolan nodded.

You missed the determined look in the younger man’s eyes as you walked away, too intent on locating your jacket without giving in to the tears that were threatening to fall. Sleep, sobering up and some distance – that would help, right?

*

01:21

From: Kevin

Why did you leave?

Please come back?

~

01:57

From: Kevin

I meant it.

I swear I meant it.

Please call me.

~

03:00

Missed call – Kevin

~

10:17

From: Kevin

Fuck I fell asleep.

Are you ignoring me?

Please call me when you get this.

~

10:35

From: Kevin

I get it if you don’t love me back.

But please don’t ignore me, I can’t take that.

Please call me?

We need to talk. Please.

~

10:55

From: Kevin

Please?

~

11:00

To: Kevin

Kev, I can’t do this.

It’s too much.

Please just give me time and space.

~

11:02

From: Nolan

I’ve taken Kev’s phone off him.

His sad face is too much.

I know you asked for space and I’ll make sure he gives it to you.

But please, just think over what he said?

You know he doesn’t say shit he doesn’t mean, not when it’s important.

~

11:17

To: Nolan

Yeah, okay. I’ll think it over.

*

Mornings were generally your worst time of day. But this morning in particular was a terrible one. The slight bleurgh of lingering sleep made you feel groggy enough, but nothing that a quick shower and a slice of buttered toast couldn’t fix. No, this morning was terrible because your heart was still aching from three days ago. You still had no idea what Kevin was playing at, acting like that around you, but it hurt and you knew you weren’t going to be able to forget it any time soon. Kevin’s increasingly desperate text messages and the single message from Nolan hung over you like a bad shadow, but you knew were right about not just giving in straight away – you were still emotional enough now as it was, and you knew it wouldn’t have been a good idea to see Kevin immediately. No, space was exactly what you needed, even if it hurt.

Your second cup of coffee woke you up enough at least to not leave you in a pit of despair. Like Nolan had asked, you’d thought about Kevin’s words over and over again. His declaration of love, out of nowhere. His confusion and sadness and fucking desperation. You know he doesn’t say shit he doesn’t mean, not when it’s important. It still didn’t give you the answer, any answer. Because in your heart, there was still that little whisper of doubt, telling you it wasn’t true, not really. And unless you were 100% sure, there was no way you could take that chance, not with Kevin. His friendship was too important in your life to risk not having it at all, so if it meant needing time to get over him and drag yourself out of this swirling despair then you would take it.

Despair was for people who didn’t have a life to get on with. You had lived long enough without Kevin in your life before you’d met him, and you could damn well succeed in living without his presence for a couple of weeks or so. At least until you’d built up those walls again.

It had been three days and the struggle was real.

Around 9am, you were jolted out of your thoughts by a series of knocks on your front door. With a frown, you walked over to the entrance hallway, and peeked through the peep-hole, only to see Kevin. What the fuck? Why was he here?

He had a sad but determined look on this face, you could see that much – fuck, was he going to say he didn’t mean anything he said that night? That now he’d thought about it properly, it wasn’t real? It was bad enough hearing his emotions from him when high as a kite, but you couldn’t bear for him to admit it was fake when he was sober. But maybe it was what you deserved, seeing as you’d asked for time and space. Fuck. No, you’d definitely done the right thing for you…but had you done the right thing for Kevin?

What you did know for sure was that you couldn’t leave him standing outside, when he knew full well that you had no real plans today. He knew your schedule too well for that. So with a deep breath, you put on a smile and opened the door. There he stood, eyes warm albeit sleepy, that hair so perfectly tousled. Why did he have to hit every single tickbox on your list? How was that fair?

“Look who’s up before midday on an off-day,” you teased, “What are you doing here?”

Kevin smiled at your teasing, but it was as fake as you knew your smile was. Fuck. “I was in the neighbourhood and figured I’d see what you were up to. Mind if I come in?”

Ouch. He definitely wasn’t in the neighbourhood, he was here for one reason only. To talk. Fuck.

But you nodded, letting him past you into your apartment anyway. He’d given you three days’ space, like you’d asked, it was only fair that you let him say his piece now right?

“Coffee?” you asked, shutting the door behind him.

“Yes please,” Kevin groaned, nodding.

Your smile slipped a little as you headed to the kitchen, you heart already aching with the preparation of it being broken completely, but you managed to keep yourself together as you reached for the coffee pot, pouring him a large mug of the caffeinated lifeblood in silence.

“Here you go,” you said as cheerfully as you could manage.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling.

He sat down at the kitchen island, looking up at you with those beautiful big eyes, until you sat down opposite him.

“I still mean it, y’know,” he said bluntly.

You frowned, not understanding. “Mean what?”

“Mean what I said that night. That I love you,”

Oh God. Fuck. Your breath hitched in your throat, your lips parting in surprise. What…what was he doing?

“Kev, please don’t…”

“No, I’m going to,” Kevin interrupted, uncharacteristically solemn, “Because you seem to have some pretty incorrect ideas in your head and I need to set them straight,”

You swallowed heavily, biting your bottom lip. How were you even supposed to respond to that? Kevin saw the anxious look on your face clear as day, his own seriousness softening to a sad smile.

“Patty said you looked pretty upset when you left that night,” he said softly.

You shook your head, desperate for a sliver of control. “I wasn’t upset, I-”

“Even if he hadn’t spent the last three days ripping into me, I know you were upset. You’ve never just left like that,” Kevin said firmly.

Normally, you hated being interrupted. But in this case, you really had nothing else you could say. Nothing that you could say, not when he knew you so well.

“No, I haven’t,” you sighed, leaning back in your chair.

“I’m sorry that me confessing how I felt made you leave but I wasn’t messing around! I was trying gather the high courage to tell you, after all this time!” Kevin said desperately.

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

He was serious, wasn’t he? Of course he had to bulldoze right through, in typical Kevin Hayes style.

But Kevin took your silence the wrong way.

“How could you not have known?” he frowned.

“How could I possibly have known, Kev? I’ve seen you flirting with women before – and you’re never like that around me. How could I have known that you wanted anything more than friendship when you’ve never acted like it?” you retorted.

Kevin’s cheeks flushed, and he ducked his head briefly, before he looked back up at you. Fuck, he looked a little sad? Like...like he was about to genuinely open up his heart. Fuck.

“I always thought you weren’t interested in me. Why would you be interested in dumb stoner Kevin? I figured if I could only ever have you as a friend then I would latch onto that, because having you in my life in any way is so much better than not having you in my life at all,” he said sadly.

You had never heard him this eloquent before. To be honest, it made your heart ache all over again. But he was never like this…why now?

“Are you still high?” you asked, frowning.

Kevin laughed dryly, shaking his head. “Why do I have to be high to tell you how I feel?”

“Because that’s literally the only time you’ve ever said it before?” you said, raising an eyebrow.

Kevin groaned softly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

“You know meaningful stuff doesn’t come all that easily to me,” he huffed.

“I also know you’re not just Kevin-the-hockey-playing-himbo-from-Boston,” you pointed out, smiling slightly.

Kevin laughed softly. “You always have figured me out pretty well,”

“I’m just not a mind reader,” you mused.

He laughed again, nodding his head. “I guess I just…I saw you and I had to say it. I’ve liked you for years, sweetheart, ever since we lived in Tribeca. And I thought, maybe, just maybe, you getting your job transferred to Philly meant that it was finally our time. But it never happened. Maybe it was the weed. Maybe it was the weed and how beautiful you looked combined that actually took down those barriers which have kept me from blurting out my feelings in the past. But I swear to you, I meant every word,”

Sweetheart. Wow. Never had that word affected you more. You swallowed heavily, looking down at your hands. It was true that you’d always been able to read him well – and he was being so sincere right now that it had your stomach tied in knots. He really meant it, didn’t he? He really meant…that he loves you. That he’s loved you for years. Fuck.

It was everything you’d hoped to hear, and you’d spent the last three days trying to convince yourself he didn’t mean it. But he really did mean it, didn’t he?

“Say it again,” you murmured.

The grin that spread across Kevin’s lips sent a shiver up your spine.

“I love you,” he said clearly, firmly, looking directly into your eyes.

Your breath hitched in your throat, butterflies exploding in your stomach. Fuck that was so good to hear. Holy fucking shit.

“Kevin…” you whispered helplessly.

“I gotta know…because I’m holding onto a scrap of hope that you feel the same…do you…”

He trailed off, his voice a little desperate, a little lost, and you found yourself nodding like an idiot, tears springing to your eyes. If he could be brave, then so could you.

“Yes, Kev, I do. I love you so much,” you admitted.

Kevin laughed in triumph, a little incredulous, and he quickly stood up from the island, taking one large step towards you, and tugging you to stand up on your feet too.

“Fuck, fuck, can I kiss you?” he asked, happiness sparkling in his eyes.

You found yourself laughing, but nodded and clutched at his sweater, holding on in case your weak knees gave out on you. Kevin grinned, resting his forehead against yours briefly, before he closed the distance between you with a firm kiss. You couldn’t help but melt into his arms, kissing him back just as eagerly, throwing your arms around his neck a little desperately as his tongue slid against yours. His hands went to your hips and he easily picked you up to place you on the kitchen counter, and you gasped into his mouth at how effortless the motion was, moaning a little as he just stepped right in between your legs. It felt like second nature to hook your legs around his waist, pulling your bodies even closer together, earning a soft moan from the man that sent a pulse of heat right between your thighs. Fuck.

“Kev, wait, we shouldn’t…” you gasped, tilting your head back to break the kiss.

Because as much as you wanted to hop right into bed with him, you needed to let him know that this wasn’t all this was for you. It couldn’t be.

“Fuck, you gotta know this is more than sex for me, right?” Kevin groaned, eyes a little wild as he looked down at you.

How did he always know what to say?

“Again, I’m not a mind reader,” you laughed.

Kevin laughed as well, ducking his head to press gentle kisses into the soft skin of your neck.

“I want to take you out on so many dates. I want to tell my mom about you properly rather than just mention you in passing. I want to ignore Patty crowing in the locker room that he gave me the kick up the ass that I needed. I want to tell Brady and Jimmy that I finally took a chance. I want to show you off to the world as my girlfriend,” Kevin murmured between kisses, finishing with a nip to your earlobe.

Fuck. That was all that you wanted, and he was offering it up on a silver platter.

“I want that too,” you gasped, tilting your head more to the side.

You felt Kevin smile against your skin, nipping at you again before he lifted his head to look at you properly.

“Now can I kiss you again?” Kevin asked hopefully.

You laughed but nodded, threading your fingers through his messy curls. “You can kiss me any time you want,”

Kevin grinned and did just that.

*

Pulling into the practice arena, Kevin realised he still had a stupid smile on his face. He’d spent all morning at your apartment, mostly making out on the sofa with a little talking dotted throughout, and he’d only been able to tear himself away because Nolan had texted to remind him about the mandatory afternoon practice today. Obviously he would much rather have stayed with you, especially now that he knew what it was like to kiss you, how your lips felt against his, how easy it was to hold you in his arms, but if he skipped practice there would be hell to pay.

That, and he now knew how easily he could get carried away, how easily he could get lost in you. He hadn’t lied when he said that this was more than sex for him. Loving you was everything – overwhelming, all-consuming and wonderful – and there was no way he was going to let sex ruin that. As much as he already knew it would be incredible. He’d waited four years to be in your bed more than platonically, he could wait a little longer. Especially now that he knew you loved him too.

Fuck, you were finally his. He could finally call you his girlfriend. Fuck.

Kevin was so lost in his thoughts as he parked his car, that he didn’t notice a familiar figure walking up to him, and flinched as they knocked on the window. Nolan. Fuck.

“Way to give me a heart attack, baby cat,” Kevin groaned as he got out of the car.

“You made me catch a lift with Teeks last minute – now we’re even,” Nolan smirked.

Kevin just laughed, rolling his eyes as he pulled his bag out of his car and locked it. When he turned back to look at his friend, he saw that Nolan looked incredibly smug, almost unbearably so, and steeled himself for an interrogation. He hadn’t exactly been forthcoming in his text earlier to say that Nolan would have to find his own way to practice. Oops.

“Please tell me you came from your New York girl’s place,”

Hah, your New York girl. When you’d first moved job to Philadelphia, Kevin had referred to you as ‘a girl friend from New York’, to try to play it cool, to try to hide how excited he was that you were finally going to be reunited…and the name had stuck. Pretty much everyone on the team, including some who’d been traded away, referred to you as ‘your New York girl’, mainly because of how red Kevin had blushed when Claude had called you that when you’d first met the team.

The team liked teasing their usually-unflappable teammate.

You liked that Kevin talked about you in the first place.

Kevin just liked that people had always called you his.

“Yeah, I did,” Kevin shrugged, trying to play it cool.

But Nolan just rolled his eyes, not having any of it.

“You two talked right? Like, actually talked,” Nolan asked firmly.

That and other things. But Nolan didn’t need to know that. Kevin just smirked, nodding, and laughed as Nolan whooped.

“I swear to god I’m not getting those three days back, you owe me so bad. And I’m claiming victory for this matchmaking,” Nolan grinned.

“Meddling more like it,” Kevin mused, rolling his eyes, “You got the result you wanted though,”

“I did?”

“You did,”

“Fucking finally,” Nolan groaned.

“Finally what?”

Kevin turned his head to see Claude walking up behind them and winced. If Nolan kept his mouth shut then maybe Kevin had a chance of not being ridiculed for the entirety of practice…

“Hayesy ditched me to finally talk about his feelings,” Nolan smirked.

Oof.

“With your New York girl? Fucking finally,” Claude grinned.

One day that nickname would fade. One day.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Better late than never,” Kevin mused.

“Only took you a few years,” Nolan snorted.

Four long miserable years. But who was counting.

“Well I’m glad you finally took a chance. Fuck knows it’s been painful enough watching the two of you dance around each other,” Claude teased, before his face suddenly went serious, “She returned your feelings, right? Like, fuck-”

“She did,” Kevin said, interrupting, “She loves me too,”

Saying it out loud like that made him grin, earning laughter from his two teammates.

“Thank fuck for that,” Claude huffed, teasing with a grin of his own.

Thank fuck indeed.

*

From: Kevin

Dinner at mine tonight?

I’ve got that wine you like…

~

To: Kevin

You had me at wine.

What time do you want me?

~

From: Kevin

I always want you.

I’ll have food ready for 7pm.

But come over whenever!

~

To: Kevin

You ridiculous flirt.

Can’t wait to see you.

~

Kevin’s messages kept a smile on your face for the rest of your work day, and you didn’t bother going back to your apartment after work – heading straight to his place was all you could think about, so that’s all that you did. And the smile that he greeted you with when he opened the door – bright, genuine, happy – told you that you’d made the right decision.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Kevin murmured, tugging you against his body.

You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into his hold as he shut the door behind you. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” you grinned.

Kevin grinned back. “Good to know,”

You rolled your eyes fondly, leaning up on your tiptoes to press your lips to his in a soft kiss, smiling at the happy noise he made as you embraced sweetly, your arms sliding up his chest and around his neck. Fuck, even just knowing that you could do this now, kiss him whenever you wanted, sent a shiver up your spine, let alone how good it felt to brush your tongue against his. It was like the floodgates had opened – now that you could kiss him, touch him, hold him, you never wanted to stop. You took every opportunity, and Kevin was exactly the same – maybe even more so, with the way his hands always seemed to stray to your ass.

The kisses eventually slowed to a few gentle pecks, Kevin looking a little stunned even as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“Hi,” you murmured.

“Hi,” he said back, a little helplessly.

Both of you laughed, Kevin resting his forehead against yours briefly before he stepped backwards a little, taking both of your hands with his.

“I gotta finish up some dinner prep, but I can pour you a glass of wine while you wait?” he suggested.

Sweet, thoughtful man.

“That sounds perfect to me,” you nodded, squeezing his hands in agreement.

Dinner was perfect. Wonderful. Incredible. It was only a simple pasta dish, but full of vegetables and spices and flavour, and the fact that Kevin had clearly poured time and effort into making this for the two of you made it even more special. Sitting across from him at the dinner table, each talking about your days, Kevin making your sides ache with laughter…it was all you could ever have dreamed of.

Was it all too good to be true?

That niggling thought followed you to the sofa after you’d finished eating, Kevin joining you with two fresh glasses of wine. He spotted your creased forehead and frown immediately, like you feared knew he would.

“What’s that face for?” Kevin mused, raising an eyebrow.

Sometimes it was a blessing how easily he could read you. But you weren’t sure if now was one of those times. As his smile started to slip, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself. There was no point in hiding your thoughts from him. Honesty and communication were a good thing, right?

“I guess I’m just nervous, that’s all,” you admitted.

Kevin frowned to match you, his eyes immediately going serious. “Nervous? Why?”

“Things are just different now. You know that,”

Kevin’s frown immediately shifted to a smile, making your heart beat a little faster. His faith in you was mindblowing. “It’s just you and me, how it’s always been. How it always should be. Nothing’s different about that,”

But still you shook your head, smiling fondly. “I know you as Kevin-the-friend. I don’t know you as Kevin-the-boyfriend. It’s whole new territory…and I have a horrible thought in my mind saying that it’s all too good to be true,”

Kevin’s face fell again at your words, and he quickly put his wine glass on the coffee table, shaking his head as he reached out to take one of your hands in his. Your breath hitched in your throat at the emotion in his eyes, like it genuinely hurt him to hear the words that came out of your mouth, and you put your own glass down on the floor with a wince.

“Are you…having second thoughts? About…us?” he said quietly, like the words left a bitter taste in his mouth.

You quickly shook your head – you knew that wasn’t it. Not even close. But still…

“What is it then?” Kevin asked, confused.

Here goes nothing. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel real, us being together. Like I’m going to wake up and you’re going to want to only be just friends. It scares me,”

“Shit,” Kevin groaned, eyes closing briefly.

When his eyes reopened his eyes to look at you once more, the fire in his expression startled you…but also made your mouth go dry. That intensity was a good look on him, one you hadn’t seen directed your way before. Fuck.

“Sweetheart, I can’t predict the future. Hell, I can barely figure out what to make for breakfast, let alone where our relationship is going to go. But I do know one thing for certain,” he said firmly.

You swallowed heavily, letting out a shaky breath. “And what’s that?”

“That I want us to have a future. That I am all in. I’m putting my whole heart into this baby, and I just wish I knew what to do so you would believe me,”

Fuck, you did believe him. You absolutely did believe him. How could you not, when you could feel his heart so strongly?

“Kev, I…” you trailed off, a little helpless, not sure where to start.

“What can I do?” he asked, eyes a little desperate.

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I want this to work so badly,” you murmured.

“All we can do is put the hard work in, right?” he said firmly, eyes bright and shining, “Like, if we both try with our whole hearts, then it’s got to be worth it, right? We’ve been friends for years – that isn’t going to change. We have that foundation already. Now we’re just taking that next step, learning more about each other, rather than starting something scary from scratch,”

Your eyes filled with tears at his heartfelt words, and you found yourself nodding before you could stop yourself.

“It’s still scary…but it could be scarier,” you agreed, biting your bottom lip.

Kevin nodded, smiling encouragingly, to which you let out a shaky breath.

“And no matter what, we’re in this together, yeah? We’ve got each other, more so than ever before,” he said softly.

Your eyes dropped to where his thumb ran back and forth over your hand, a small smile spreading across your lips. “I like the sound of that,”

Kevin’s shoulders seemed to relax a little, like he was letting out tension, sending a guilty pang through your body. Fuck, there you go, making him feel bad again.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, shrinking back a little.

“Hey, no, no apologies. I’m glad you told me,” he replied, shaking his head, “I’d rather we talked about stuff like this than let it build up to something ugly, y’know?”

He had a good point – you couldn’t imagine having a nasty all-out fight with Kevin, and you didn’t want to. He was one of your oldest friends for a reason, and you didn’t want to lose that through a stupid fight, no way.

“Same goes for you too, yeah? You can…should talk to me about anything that worries you,” you said softly.

Kevin smiled, nodding. “Alright, it’s a deal,”

He reached out to pick up his wine glass from the table, holding it towards you in a ‘cheers’ motion, making you laugh. But you picked up your glass from the floor anyway, and clinked it with his, both of you taking a long drink. Kevin was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment, before he quirked a smile your way.

“Let me take you out, show you what Kevin-the-boyfriend is like,” he suggested, “Let me show you that this new thing between us is going to be something amazing,”

How could you say no to that?

“I’d like that,” you grinned, relaxing into the sofa a bit more, “I already know I love Kevin-the-friend…so I think I need to meet Kevin-the-boyfriend properly,”

And as stupid as it felt saying those words out loud, you knew you were right – you needed to see this next stage in your relationship clearly, to banish away those niggling doubts. It was still Kevin, right? Just…more.

Kevin stretched his leg out onto the sofa, nudging your hip with his foot with a big smile on his face, nudging nudging nudging until you gripped his ankle tightly with your free hand, raising an eyebrow. All you got in return was his eyebrows wiggling at you, a stupid grin on his face.

“This is going to be great, you’ll see,” Kevin said cheerfully.

You were counting on it.

*

A first date was always something to be nervous about, right? Shaky hands, pounding heart, butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms…it was all natural, right? Because you were experiencing all of these things while you got ready for your date with Kevin.

But was it truly nerves? You weren’t nervous as in apprehensive. No, not at all. Any time you spent with Kevin was always full of warmth and laughter, even when you were just friends, and you knew that tonight would be so different. No, it was nervous as in excited. Nervous butterflies? Shaky giddiness? Whatever it was, it was more than a little overwhelming, but it only took one glance at the last text Kevin sent you to keep a smile on your face.

~

From: Kevin

I can’t wait to see you, beautiful 💖

~

Simple, but effective. He always knew what to do and say, even when he didn’t know he was doing it. So instead of getting cold feet or freaking out, all you did was put on your favourite playlist and bop around while you got yourself ready. You’d already gotten your usual leg and bikini wax this morning, having planned to wear a slinky black dress with bare legs, and as soon as you shimmied into the dress you knew it was the right choice. Figure hugging without being clingy, sexy as well as classy – a little black dress is a classic for a reason. After putting on a little makeup and a pair of your favourite heels, you were ready.

Kevin had insisted on picking you up so he could drive the two of you to the restaurant, rather than meeting there, and he arrived to yours right on time. But as you opened the front door of your apartment to greet him, his face was a little stunned, and he was uncharacteristically silent. Huh.

“Everything okay, Kev?” you asked hesitantly.

He quickly nodded, the stunned look on his face slipping into a wide smile.

“You just look so beautiful. Caught me off guard,” he shrugged.

You felt your cheeks heat up with warmth, and you batted your hand at his chest, making him laugh. Ridiculous man.

“Well, you scrub up pretty well yourself,” you teased.

A crisp white button-up shirt, a nice fitted pair of jeans and tailored jacket? Such a good look on him. Kevin just grinned at your words, ducking his head to kiss you softly, making your breath hitch in your throat. Yeah, this was going to be a good night.

“Ready to go?” he asked, as he broke the embrace.

“Yeah, let me just grab a jacket,”

The drive to the restaurant was short and smooth – a Spanish tapas place, on recommendation from Claude – and you were shown to your table immediately, Kevin pulling out your chair for you with a bright smile on his face.

“Welcome! Here are your menus – would you like to see the drinks menu too, or do you know what you would like?”

You looked from the waiter to Kevin with a shrug, to see him looking at you with a hopeful smile. Huh. He already planned this out, didn’t he? So you just nodded at him and smiled back.

“Can we have a glass of Rosado each?” Kevin asked, smiling effortlessly.

“Of course, I will be back momentarily,”

As the waiter walked away, you raised an eyebrow at Kevin, who just shrugged a little bashfully.

“I never have any clue which wine goes with what. So I asked Claude when he recommended this place – a few of the guys around us chimed in with their thoughts too, and apparently Rosado goes with tomato-y garlic-y things. I figured that’s the majority of what we’d be eating, so I hope that’s okay” Kevin explained.

The fact that he had put so much thought into tonight, asking his friends and really researching, made your heart clench, and it was all you could do to nod. He really was so sweet – no-one had ever put in this much effort for you before.

A silence fell over you for a moment, not awkward, but still not fully comfortable, until you looked at Kevin and the both of you huffed out a laugh.

“This is weird, right?” you giggled.

“Nah, not if we don’t let it be,” he shrugged, smiling.

His ease and nonchalance was something to be jealous of, that much was true.

“So confident, Mr Hayes,” you mused, raising an eyebrow.

“Easy to be confident when I’ve got the most beautiful person in the room sitting opposite me,” he replied smoothly.

Oh so smooth.

“Kev…” you groaned, hiding your face with a hand.

“Come on, I’ve been wanting to say these things for years! Indulge me,” he teased.

Years. The very thought of it sent a shiver down your spine.

“You think I haven’t had my moments of weakness? Where I’ve thought about us over the years?” you asked simply, raising an eyebrow as you lowered your hand back into your lap.

Kevin inhaled sharply, making you smile. Good.

“I like that you have. Thought about us, I mean. I just can’t believe how stupid we’ve been. We’ve wasted so much time,” Kevin sighed.

You reached across the table, resting your hand on top of his with a smile. “We’re here now, right? That’s all that matters,”

“Yeah exactly,” he nodded.

Then he bit his bottom lip, as if he was hesitating on something, making you smile a little more.

“What is it, Kev?” you asked softly.

He stayed silent for another beat or two, before he looked at you intensely.

“I see my future with you, sweetheart,” he blurted. Oh wow. “And yeah, maybe that’s too soon to say, but this isn’t some brand new fresh thing – this has been building for years, and now that we’re finally together, it just feels so right, y’know?”

Your heart clenched at his sweet words, and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your lips. Fuck. Who knew a hockey player could be so open and in touch with their feelings? Well, it was Kevin after all. Might as well speak your own thoughts too.

“It does feel so right. I’ve never felt anything for anyone like I feel for you,” you admitted.

Kevin’s answering smile was a little stunned and a little helpless. “Fuck, same. Same for me,”

You ignored the butterflies filling your stomach, looking down at the menu in front of you to stop your smile going stupid. What was it about this man that made you feel so different? His honesty? His smile? His laugh? Fuck, all of that and more. All you did know was that you didn’t want it to stop.

The date continued on to become the best date you had ever been on. Not that you were surprised – it was Kevin after all, and you already knew there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do if it would make you smile. And you were quickly learning how true it was for you too. Having all that adoration, that attention, that smile focused solely on you? It was addictive, and you didn’t want it directed towards anyone else. You wanted his whole heart, you knew that much already, and you could only hope that he wanted the same from you.

Both of you only had one glass of wine with your food, as Kevin was driving you home, and by the time the two of you had reached the front door of your apartment (Kevin had insisted on walking you to your front door, even though it was an apartment building), you felt giddy. Giddy and ridiculous and unbelievably happy. This was it, this was what you had been waiting for. This moment, this knowledge, that same confidence in this thing with Kevin that he’d had all along. You only wished it hadn’t taken you so long.

But you were here now, that’s all that mattered. You and Kevin, together. As it should be.

As you unlocked your front door, you felt yourself pausing in the doorway, Kevin making a questioning noise as you stopped moving. You bit your bottom lip gently, before taking a deep breath to steel your nerves. “Do you want to come in?” you asked, looking up into those beautiful blue eyes.

Kevin’s lips parted in surprise, a stunned expression filling his face.

“Like, come in come in?” he asked, voice a little breathy.

The sheer want in his voice made you shiver, and you knew you’d made the right decision in asking him. You could basically taste the tension between you as you nodded slowly, Kevin swaying forward as if he couldn’t help himself.

But then he stopped, freezing still, making you frown.

“Are you sure? Like, it’s not too soon?” he forced out, eyes a little wild.

So you quickly shook your head, smiling at him checking.

“Kev, it’s us, right?”

He’d been saying it for weeks, that being together was just a next step in your strong foundation of friendship, so both of you giving in to that obvious desire wouldn’t ruin anything at all. You wanted him…he wanted you…so why not take things up another notch?

“Yeah, it’s us. Endgame, baby,” Kevin grinned.

And just like that, the tension burst like a balloon, making you laugh. Yeah, this was the man you were in love with alright.

“Come on loverboy,” you laughed, rolling your eyes fondly, “Let’s not give my neighbours a show,”

Kevin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows as he followed you into your apartment, making you laugh all over again. There was none of that nervous apprehension you’d felt with other guys before – it was all just excitement, fizzing and buzzing through your skin, and your mind swirled with ideas.

Stripping him down slowly, piece by piece.

Getting your mouth on him, every inch of his body, especially his cock.

Having him pin you down on your bed, all gorgeous 6ft5 of him surrounding you in the best way.

Fuck.

“I’ve been thinking about getting my hands on you since I saw you in that dress,”

Kevin’s soft words tore you out of your lustful thoughts, and you moaned softly at the shiver it sent up your spine. Fuck yes, you were getting laid tonight and it was going to be good.

“Then how about you get your hands on me?” you suggested, corner of your lips lifting up in a smirk.

He wasted no time in pressing you into the nearest wall, barely making it out of the entrance hallway, and you laughed as his hands went straight to your ass.

“Feeling better?” you mused, toying with the top button of his shirt.

This wasn’t a fiery desperate rush, crashing about, rough and riling up – no this was a slow build-up of lust and want, much like your relationship had been a slow build-up. No, this was a slow seduction, sweet and all-consuming, bodies moving in sync and taking what they wanted. And you couldn’t fucking wait.

“Hmm, a little,” Kevin grinned back.

“Only a little huh?” you teased.

“Oh I have a few ideas of what could help,” he murmured.

The flash of heat in his eyes sent a flare of heat through your body, and you couldn’t help but to dart your tongue out to wet your bottom lip, Kevin’s eyes tracking the motion, making you smile. But you had no time to tease him before he took your lips in a kiss, making you whimper at how quickly it got heated before Kevin broke away with a gasp, leaving your head spinning.

“So that’s one idea,” he grinned.

Oh fuck, this man was going to ruin you. But not before you ruined him a little bit first.

“What’s your next idea?” you breathed.

Kevin just grinned, stepping backwards a little bit, making you whine before you could stop yourself.

“Stay right where you are, beautiful. Keep your eyes on me,”

That you could do. You dramatically placed your hands against the wall, making him laugh as he dropped his jacket carelessly to the floor, and his fingers went to the top button of his shirt. He kept his eyes on you as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his strong broad chest inch by inch until he was able to drop it to the floor, leaving him in just his jeans. Fuck. You would never be able to get enough of the sight of him like this, let alone the touch (and you couldn’t wait for the taste) – the strength in his shoulders, his chest, his core, his arms…fuck.

“Get back over here,” you said, voice low and rough.

Kevin inhaled sharply, and he wasted no time in stumbling back over to you, arms caging you in against the wall in a way that made you want.

“Great second idea. What’s next?” you breathed.

Fuck. This was winding you up and up and up and you knew the night had barely even started.

“I want…can I taste you?” he blurted.

What? But before you could ask what he meant, Kevin dropped to his knees, making you gasp. Oh fuck. Oh yes.

“You want to be on your knees for me?” you asked, swallowing heavily.

“Yeah, so bad,” Kevin nodded, a little desperate.

Well how could you say no to that?

Biting your bottom lip, you reached up under your dress, hooking your fingers into the sides of your panties and tugging them down. Kevin whined as his view was blocked by the skirt of your dress but you just grinned. This was the least he deserved for stripping his shirt off so slowly. You let your panties drop to the floor when they were past the thickness of your thighs and slowly stepped out of them, kicking them to one side.

His move.

Kevin’s eyes were wide and dark as he raised his hands to rest on your thighs, lips slightly parted.

“Please, can I?” he murmured, thumbs brushing under the skirt hem.

Fuck. This was all too much, the desire, his patience, his asking. Bring it on.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you nodded, inhaling sharply.

He slowly dragged the skirt of your dress up to your hips, moaning softly under his breath when you were revealed bare to him. One of his hands bunched up the dress to hold it in place, the other placed large and firm on your thigh, and his thumb lightly stroked over the wetness in your folds…before he stopped.

Kevin looked up at you, wordless asking one last time. And you just nodded, too overwhelmed in the moment to utter any words, your heart racing at the very sight of him kneeling so comfortably between your thighs. With a smile, he shuffled a little closer to you, ducking his head to place a reverent kiss to your clit, making you gasp, earning a soft laugh.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Kevin mumbled, mostly to himself.

Then he ducked his head down and dove right in, tongue running over your folds in a wide stripe, his tongue flicking at your clit in a way that made you gasp. Fuck. How was he so good at this, straight off the bat? You could feel him smirking against your skin, before his tongue flicked at your clit again, and you couldn’t stop your hips bucking to chase the feeling. Fuck. The hand holding your dress out of the way adjusted to rest across your hips, pinning you to the wall, as his tongue ran back and forth over your core, gathering and tasting your wetness, dipping in and out of you, making you clench down on nothing. You didn’t hold back the soft moans that spilled from your lips, your body trembling with how good he made you feel. But as you clenched down empty again, you knew you could feel even better.

“More, Kev, please?” you begged.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he groaned, resting his forehead against your hip.

You giggled, pushing his hair out of his eyes so he would look up at you.

“I want more,” you said firmly, eyes holding his in challenge.

And fuck did he rise to the challenge.

Kevin buried his face back between your thighs, eagerly running his tongue back and forth over you, into you, winding you up higher and higher, until he backed off to just sucking on your clit. Then you realised why he’d changed tactic, as his fingers moved to trail through your folds. With a fingertip teasing at your entrance, Kevin looked up at you, those big blue eyes questioning, and it was all you could do to nod. Leisurely Kevin slid a finger into you, letting you get used to the intrusion before he started to move it, gentle and slow, sending sparks up your spine and making your eyes clench shut. Then his teeth scraped over your clit and you wailed at the electricity that shot through your body, eyes flying open to glare down at him, wild and weak-kneed. Kevin’s eyes just sparkled with laughter, and he wasted no time in sliding in a second finger, sucking at your clit in the same rhythm in which he fucked his fingers into you. Fuck. You could feel a familiar heat start to build and you moaned – it wasn’t fair how quickly he learned the cues of your body.

Two can play at that game.

“You look so good on your knees for me,” you breathed, running your fingers through his messy hair.

Kevin’s eyes flashed with fire as he moaned at your words, sending a shockwave through you, making you gasp. Good. He leaned back slightly, tongue darting out over his swollen lips, before he smirked.

“You look so good with my fingers inside you,” he rasped back, curling both fingers over and over again in a come hither motion, “Going to look even better on my cock,”

Game, set, and match. Fuck. You cried out as the onslaught of his fingers sent you crashing through your high, Kevin smirking before he returned his tongue to lick between the two digits, prolonging the wave of pleasure until you were shaking and overwhelmed. Kevin backed off a little bit, leaning back to sit on his heels, but his face radiated smugness, of a job well done, even as the hard line of his cock strained against the denim of his jeans.

It was all you could do to fall to your knees to join him, straddling his lap lightly as you fought to regain control over your breathing, his hands going straight to your hips where your dress had fallen back down.

“Fuck, Kev,” you said with a shaky laugh.

He just smirked, wiggling his eyebrows, making you laugh for real. Ridiculous man. Without saying another word, you rested one hand against his bare chest, lifting the other hand to cup his face. You stroked your thumb over the wetness lingering on his bottom lip, before pressing down lightly on that lip to get him to open his mouth, and Kevin took the hint straight away, accepting your thumb into his mouth. You couldn’t take your eyes away from the sight of him closing his plush lips around it, sucking the wetness away, the same wetness that was still between your thighs.

Then his teeth scraped over the pad of your thumb, imitating his treatment of your clit, making you moan and clench down on nothing, even more evident where your thighs were spread across his lips.

“You’re such a tease,” you gasped, pulling your thumb free.

“Not a tease if I’m planning on following through,” Kevin said simply, smirk still playing with his expression.

The intensity in his eyes paired with the way his hands squeezed your hips sent a shiver up your spine, and you let a small smirk of your own drift across your lips.

“Hmm, yes, you said something about how good I’ll look with your cock inside me?” you murmured.

The noise that tore from Kevin’s throat was barely human, more feral than anything else, and the want in his eyes sent a wave of heat through your body. Fuck, yes.

“Fuck, yes,” he groaned, “I know I just said it in the heat of the moment, but do you…do you want…”

“Yeah, Kev, I want,” you nodded quickly.

Kevin all but growled. “Hook your legs around my waist,” he said firmly.

What?

And then you felt his abs tense, as Kevin anchored himself to stand up from the floor with you in his arms, and you shrieked as you hurried to do as he said, hooking your ankles together against the swell of his ass.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” you breathed, arms firmly around his neck as he held you securely.

It was all you could do not to think about how your bare core was pressed against his abs. Fuck.

“Yeah?” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes fondly. “Take me to bed, Kev,”

Kevin swallowed heavily, his eyes flashing dark and serious.

“Yes ma’am,”

*

A party was never just a simple party when Kevin Hayes was involved. Music was pounding, beer was flowing, shots were poured, and weed was an easy haze on the back porch. At all the parties he’d thrown like this in the past, you’d always drifted to and from him, flitting from group to group just like he did, always separate. But this time, no – this time you were sitting on the sofa with his arm wrapped around your waist, leaning into his body because now you could.

And fuck did it feel good.

“So, tell us, how does it feel to be finally be called Kevin’s girl, rather than Kevin’s New York girl?” Claude grinned.

Ah yes, that nickname. Finally, it could die.

“Feels pretty fucking sweet actually,” you said simply.

Everyone on the sofas around you burst into laughter, and you could feel the rumble of Kevin’s own laughter deep in his chest. You couldn’t help but look up at him with a smile, earning an adoring smile back, as well as a soft kiss. Yeah, this was exactly where you wanted to be. 

 “How did you two actually meet?” Ryanne asked, smiling, “Like, I know you’ve been friends for years…but how?”

You found yourself smiling as you looked back up at Kevin, and he smiled down at you. It was true, you really had been friends with him for years at this point. And your first meeting was pretty funny.

“Go ahead,” Kevin shrugged.

His loss.

“Alright, so it went like this…”

~

Sunday night was grocery run night – and this week was no different. You walked into the lobby of your apartment building with both your arms full, trying to figure out how you were going to call the elevator, when you noticed a very tall guy already waiting, the elevator call button pressed. Huh, that solved that problem.

He smiled as you stopped next to him, giving you a little nod. “Hey,”

Holy shit this guy is hot. No, not the time. Tall…hot…great smile…no, focus. Be cool.

“Oh hey, you’re one of the new guys, right?” you smiled, tilting your head to look up at him.

“Yeah, I’m Kevin. I just got a place with my buddies Jimmy and Brady. A couple of floors up from you, right?”

Oh wow. He froze as your eyes widened in surprise, and groaned.

“I swear I’m not a creep?” he offered, wincing, “I’m just really good with faces,”

For some reason, you believed him. Call it intuition, or vibes, or whatever. This guy was being genuine. Huh.

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it,” you teased.

His shoulders slumped a little as if releasing tension, making you smile. As if by fate, the elevator pinged its arrival, and Kevin gestured for you to enter first before following you in.

“So,”

“So,”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you spoke in unison, Kevin just grinning. Oops.

“Go ahead,” you mused.

“I was going to say, if you fancy meeting my other flatmates too, we’re having a little housewarming of sorts. Like, a bunch of our friends are coming over, sort of a drop in and out whenever time kind of thing. It’d be nice to meet you properly, and show you I’m not actually a weirdo? Friday, if you’re free?”

Oh wow. That was really…sweet? Sure, it could blow up in your face, and he could actually be a creep…but again, those intuitive vibes were saying he wasn’t. And it definitely beats sitting at home and eating cold pizza. Again.

And damn, if his flatmates looked anything like him? Eye candy for days.

“Friday huh? I could do Friday,” you said simply, trying to keep your cool.

His answering smile let you know you’d made the right decision.

~

“…and after that, we became really good friends, all four of us. He never flirted with me after that time in the elevator and I tried my hardest not to flirt with him. I stayed in touch with Kev when he went to the Jets and then here to the Flyers, and he was one of the first people I got in contact with when my job moved me to Philadelphia. And then everything changed a few weeks ago. The rest is history,” you shrugged.

Kevin grinned, although he definitely had a blush on his cheeks.

“You were such a creep,” Claude said, laughing.

Kevin blushed a little fiercer. “It just came out! Of course I noticed the prettiest girl in the building – that was the least awful way I could’ve said it,”

You rolled your eyes as his friends hooted and jeered, although you felt your cheeks heat up with warmth.

“Just couldn’t help yourself, huh?” you teased.

“I got there in the end, didn’t I?” he shot back with a dramatic wink.

“Only took you a few years,” Nolan snorted.

Kevin just grinned, unashamed.

It may have taken a few years, but Kevin was right – you had gotten there in the end. All the years of self-doubt and insecurity, thinking you’d never be more than just friends, had resulted in a beautiful – if unexpected – relationship. A build-up of such a solid foundation of friendship over the past four years had already given you the opportunity to learn so much about him – and you couldn’t wait to learn even more. To learn about Kevin, the boyfriend. And, maybe even more than that, if you were lucky. Yes, unexpected as this may have been, you were in this for the long haul. And you couldn’t wait.

#my writing #kevin hayes #there's just something about this big guy #where can I find myself a guy like this kevin? #I just love a bit of friends to lovers! #kevin hayes fic #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes fanfic #friends to lovers #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine

[nugnthopkns]

i wish i could disappear

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, feelings of anxiety due to social media harassment, invasion of privacy that border on stalking

recommended listening: brutal | olivia rodrigo

series masterpost: here

a/n: and we're off to the races!! i love this album and olivia so much. there's a shoutout to goon by tobias jesso jr. in here bc it's my favourite album to cry to lmao (highly recommend giving it a listen!). i'm on the fence about this one but am posting it anyways because i don't think i can make it any better

How the fuck do people find your social media?

All of your accounts are private and Kevin makes sure to never tag you on the rare occasion he posts a picture of the two of you together. The wives and girlfriends who have public accounts make sure to never post about you, and you’re careful not to comment on posts often. You’re a private person and though you understand that due to the nature of your relationship with Kevin you intrigue some fans, you don’t want to give them more than you have to.

Despite making no attempt to open up to the public or media, every day you wake up with hundreds of follow requests from complete strangers. At first it was a little exciting knowing that people were curious about your life but after years of the same routine it’s become draining. It takes you nearly twenty minutes each day to weed through them and accept only the people you know personally. Kevin doesn’t actually know how many people want to catch a glimpse of your daily life because you do your best to keep it from him. Knowing would only bring him stress, and you want him to be able to focus on winning games and loving you with his entire heart.

☼☼☼☼

The phone on your desk rings loudly, pulling your attention away from the computer screen that has way too many numbers on it for your liking. The finance department needed someone to proof their audit before sending it away and since you’re the only one in human relations that has a business degree the job landed on your shoulders. Eager to take a break, you pick it up and press the receiver against your ear.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other side laughs gently, but you immediately know it’s Kevin. “Hi sweetheart,” he says warmly, “How’s work?”

“Fine I guess. It’s work, Kev. Nothing terribly exciting happens here,” you explain but continue to fill him in on all the coffee pot gossip you got this morning. Kevin listens as you complain about forgetting your lunch on the counter and chuckles at how upset the situation makes you.

“What if I told you I’m outside your window with a burrito bowl?”

Excited at the possibility of seeing your boyfriend before dinnertime, you whip towards the window and spot Kevin on the sidewalk, waving like an idiot despite knowing your office is on the fifth floor. You hang up quickly after telling him you’ll be down in two minutes and let the receptionist know you’re stepping out for lunch. There’s a line for the elevator so you head to the stairwell, taking them two at a time in your haste. You’re crossing the street to the small park where Kevin has set up a picnic before your co-workers are even out the door.

You plop down on the blanket beside Kevin and lean into him. He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before passing you the food he brought. You take a bite, sighing at the taste. Kevin knows you better than you know yourself and knew exactly what to get that would satisfy your mounting hunger.

“Thanks babe,” you smile, holding up your fork and offering him a bite. He takes it graciously but makes a face. “What’s the matter?” you laugh as you take the utensil back.

“I fucking hate avocado.”

The two of you eat in relative silence, speaking only when you remember a detail from your morning. Kevin tells you about the drills he’s going to lead at practice in the afternoon and what he plans on cooking for dinner since he’ll be home before you. You insist you can whip something up when you get home but Kevin shakes his head. He reminds you that relationships are give and take, and that you’ve made dinner the past three nights because he had a string of games. You manage to reach a compromise that has you doing the dishes before you have to return to work.

Kevin insists on walking you back to your office even though you protest vehemently. Your relationship is far from secret, and has been the topic of workplace gossip more times than you can count, but after five years you’ve learned to ignore most of it. However, you don’t want your co-workers to think you flaunt your NHL player boyfriend to prove you’re better than them. They all love Kevin, and a couple of them congratulate him on last night’s goal as he follows you down the hall. A few of the newer hires stare in awe and shake his hand, completely blown away that one of Philadelphia’s biggest stars is asking how they like their jobs.

“Pretty soon they’re going to approach you to do PR for us,” you chuckle as you flip the light on and close the door of your office.

His laughter echoes off the walls as a pair of strong arms find a home around your waist. “It would be kind of fun to hear myself crush those radio commercials.”

“Since when do you listen to the radio?”

“Checkmate,” Kevin sighs, pulling you closer. He kisses you quickly, not wanting to give a show to anyone who could be walking past, but it still sends you reeling. You don’t want him to pull away and kiss him again.

You get your way for a few more moments and then Kevin’s leaving with a promise to not burn the house down and wishes for a good rest of the day. Focussed on giving the audit its final once-over you don’t bother pulling your phone from the drawer you had placed it in when you got to work that morning. You turn up the small radio at the corner of your desk and get to work scanning the document for errors. There’s a mistake halfway through that skews the rest of the data and fixing it takes a bit of time, but it isn’t a huge deal. You have nothing else to do except answer a few emails and organize meetings for after the weekend.

An hour or so later you’ve completed all your tasks and debate what to do. It’s too early to leave for the day, so you decide to kill time by checking your phone. You’re expecting a few notifications, perhaps two or three memes in the group chat you share with your friends, but not the hundreds that greet you.

The majority of them are instagram notifications, and assuming they’re just more fans requesting a follow you ignore them, instead heading to your text messages. There’s a picture from Kevin of a dog he found walking home and another from your mom asking why you haven’t called home in a few weeks. However the one from Claude’s wife is the one that piques your curiosity.

Just a heads up that someone posted a pic of you and Kev to one of those stupid wag pages. I filed a request for Instagram to take it down but it’s gotten a lot of traction. Sorry :((

Your heartbeat increases rapidly and a million thoughts fly through your head at a rapid speed. Fingers shaking, you respond with a thanks and open up the dreaded app. You don’t see it immediately, your feed being full of photos belonging to friends and family, but it’s in your messages almost two hundred times. Many of them have text attached and you know there will be a comment about your relationship regardless of which one you open.

Tapping on the most recent message you brace yourself for the worst. The new window opens a photo someone took of you and Kevin while eating lunch in the park across from your office not even three hours prior. It’s grainy and the camera angle is strange, but you’re eating and Kevin is looking somewhere out of frame. The accompanying caption reads Kev and his girlfriend out for lunch today! Follow @philllywagupdates for more :).

You let out a sigh of relief – it could have been a lot worse. Personal pictures of yourself have made it onto pages like that before and most of them they’re paired with mean-spirited captions about your appearance or other trivial matters. Assuming you’re in the clear, you head back to the page of the original message to thank the person for bringing the post to your attention. However, the message accompanying the post is anything but positive.

He can’t even fucking look at you. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves you

The blood in your veins runs cold. You know it’s not true – Kevin’s made it clear you’re the one and truthfully you’re just waiting for a ring – but it doesn’t stop the sting you feel. What could possess someone to say such horrible things? You decide not to respond despite, possibly opening another can of worms with the seen function, and close the app. Leaning back in your office chair you focus on anything but your phone, looking out the window at passersby while regaining your breath. It works for a while, but eventually not knowing what others said eats away at you. You go through every single message to see hundreds of similar comments to the first, with only a few saying they’re glad you’re happy or how posting the picture is a violation of your privacy.

By the time you’re finished your spirit has been crushed. However, it’s also an acceptable time to start the weekend – at least no one in the office will have to see you cry. Things are hastily packed into your bag and you wave a few quick goodbyes before once again taking the stairs. You curse yourself for deciding to walk to work that morning and set off in the direction of home wiping away tears. The last thing you need right now is for someone to recognize you, but you have to get home. Tobias Jesso Jr plays at much too loud a volume through your headphones and Kevin will most certainly remind you it’s bad for your hearing, but the melancholy piano riffs of Goon overpower the thoughts swirling around your head.

Do people really feel that way about me?

Are my friends just too nice to stop inviting me places?

Does Kevin really feel trapped?

Hundreds of similar sentiments and situations cross your mind as you stumble through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, but you force them as far back as possible before opening the door to the apartment you share with Kevin. Hoping to slip inside undetected, you take your shoes off slowly and throw your jacket on the end table instead of hanging it in the closet. Your plan fails somehow and Kevin hears you, greeting you in a goofy apron covered in flour.

“Hey sweetheart,” he smiles, but it drops once your eyes meet and he sees the hurt on your face. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” you insist, trying to step around him in pursuit of the bathroom.

Kevin doesn’t buy it and sees right through your feeble words. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset. If you don’t want to talk now that’s fine, but I think you should get it off your chest.”

You know he’s right, but you also know you can’t tell him the true cause of your despair. “Just some work stuff,” you sigh. “The audit got all fucked up and I had to fix it even though it’s not my job.”

It’s not technically a lie, which makes you feel better, and Kevin buys it. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips in sympathy. “Go take a shower and the gnocchi should be ready by the time you’re done. We can spend the night cuddling on the couch.”

“And watching Selling Sunset?”

“We can watch whatever you want sweetheart,” he chuckles. You part from him with a final kiss and head to the bathroom. Hopefully the steam from the water will carry away the negativity brought on by that damn post.

☼☼☼☼

Time passes but the hateful comments on social media don’t stop. In fact, you’re pretty sure they get worse. It’s so bad that you’ve deleted every app except facebook because you need it for work. Kevin doesn’t notice your abstinence from social media, but he picks up on how you spend more time criticizing yourself or staring off into space. When he pushes you either brush him off or feed some bullshit excuse about how work is getting you down. You know he doesn’t believe you but trusts you enough to come to him when you’re ready to talk.

You aren’t sure if you’ll ever be able to tell Kevin what’s been going on. There’s been scrutiny from social media before, when you first started dating, but it quieted down after the initial media frenzy. He helped you through that but it’s different this time around. Never before have you had strangers tell you your life is worthless or that your boyfriend should end your relationship. Some of the other wags notice your absence on instagram but chalk it up to you just taking a break. They reach out via the group chat and send wishes to see you at the next home game. It’s nice to know they care, but the voice in your head that has grown much larger in recent weeks tells you they don’t truly mean it. This leads you to decline the invite as politely as possible, citing extended work hours for your absence. In reality you’re too anxious to be anywhere that isn’t home or work, petrified someone is going to post something that will add fuel to the flames of those who interrogate you.

It’s another Friday afternoon, and you’re leaving the office early once again. There’s a small craft exhibition taking place around the corner from work and today is the last day it’s open. You had been meaning to go all week, hoping to find something small to add to Kevin’s birthday gift. As you step out of the building there’s a small group of young women, who don’t look old enough to have graduated college, standing off to the side. It fills you with dread, worried that somehow someone found out where you work and the insults are going to start occurring verbally, but you force yourself to be rational. You work fairly close to one of the artsier districts in the city and it’s more than likely they just want to find a cute mural to take pictures in front of.

You pass by and swear you hear them snicker, but you remind yourself you’ve just been jumpy lately. When they peel from their place on the wall and follow behind at a distance you think the coincidences are running out. It seems a little too strange how their movements line up with yours, and you go down a few winding side streets in an attempt to lose them. Part of you feels ridiculous because what group of barely legal girls would track a full-blown adult around a city of nearly two million people, but your life is currently strange enough you can’t be sure. They don’t follow you, and by the time you reach the market your heart rate has returned to normal.

The first few stalls have little to catch your eye, but a few rows in you find a leatherworker who makes adorable wallets. Kevin’s is ridiculously old and falling apart at the seams – his mom bought it for him before the two of you got together. You think a new one will make a perfect addition to the concert tickets you already bought and browse the table for something simple and elegant. A deep brown one with tan braiding around the edges catches your eye and you know it’s the one for Kevin. Checking the price to make sure you have enough cash in your wallet, you approach the shop owner to purchase. The older man has a kind smile that reaches his eyes as he thanks you for purchasing from him.

“No, thank you for making something so beautiful!” you gush. “My boyfriend is going to love it.”

It’s then you hear it – snickering accompanied by the click of a camera. You look over your shoulder to see the same group of girls from before laughing as they huddle over a cell phone, no doubt already starting to broadcast the photo across the internet. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. Those girls don’t deserve to see their mission accomplished, but the longer they laugh at you the harder it is to swallow your feelings.

Head held high, you thank the owner one more time before holding your head high and walking past the group. The only way out is past them so you hold your breath and pray they don’t notice you. Unfortunately you aren’t that lucky, and one of them looks up just as you come into earshot.

“If Kevin doesn’t leave you after that sorry excuse for a gift I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sneers.

Another one chimes in, “You’re honestly so pathetic.” They all cackle in amusement, and you speed up. The tears flow freely now, and you call an uber even though it will be a ridiculous amount of money. You just want to get home.

The uber driver doesn’t say anything when you get in, though you know it’s strange to be bawling your eyes out at four in the afternoon. You can’t help it – weeks of keeping all the hate to yourself finally got to you and being followed with the sole intent of ridicule is the final straw. At one red light he silently passes you a box of tissues, which you accept gratefully.

Luckily the lobby of your apartment complex is empty and you manage to get to your floor without encountering a familiar face. There’s a few hours until Kevin gets home from his final roadtrip of the season, and if you play your cards right you can get all the tears out and be as normal as possible before he comes through the door. You don’t even bother to put anything away, just head straight to the bathroom to slump against the tub. Sobs rack your body and you lose all sense of time. All you can feel is the hurt you’ve been holding in releasing itself and soaking the material of your blouse.

Kevin finds you laying in the position hours later. He tripped over your shoes coming in the door and immediately knew something was wrong – you always place them neatly on the rack in the closet upon arriving home. Peering through the quiet house for a hint at where you are, he sees the bathroom light on and makes a beeline for the room. It breaks his heart to see you like this, and even more so because he doesn’t know what spurred it on.

“Sweetheart, hey,” he coos, maneuvering his body to sit beside you and pull you into his lap. “What’s the matter?”

You bury your head in his shoulder and clutch the material of his dress shirt as you cry harder at the sound of his voice. Kevin takes your reaction in stride, rubbing circles on your back and working on evening out your breath. He doesn’t pressure you to speak and provides the stability you desperately crave as the world around you spins. An unknown amount of time passes before your tears run out, but spend it all on the bathroom floor curled into Kevin.

“I guess I should have told you sooner,” you mumble, “But I didn’t want to bother you.”

Concern laces Kevin’s features and his eyebrows knit together. “Tell me what?”

“I, uh, have been the subject of some internet hate for the past little bit,” you say sheepishly. It feels stupid to not have told him now, but you can’t change that. “But you were really busy with the season and I wanted to make sure your head was completely focused on the game so I just dealt with it myself. I deleted the apps and tried my best to go about my life. And then today after work I was followed by some people and they said some really hurtful stuff and shit became a little too real.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “Why are you sorry Kev? You're Not the one sending me death threats.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair back into your ponytail. “Maybe not, but I still made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about what was going on. What kind of partner am I?”

“The best one,” you say confidently. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to forget about it right now. Can we just disappear for a little bit?”

Kevin wraps his arms around you tighter, as if he can engulf you to protect from the cruel outside world. “We can do whatever you want. If you want to get out of the city for a bit if you want, or just spend the next few days here away from prying eyes.”

“I love you.”

You say it because you mean it, and if you could scream it from the rooftops you would. Kevin is incredibly easy to love, even when you make it difficult for him to love you back. You know another much longer conversation is coming about everything that has happened recently because communication is the only way to solve problems and Kevin deserves that, but you’re thankful he’s willing to put it to rest for a few more moments.

He cracks a smile for the first time since he’s been home and kisses the crown of your head. “I love you too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Always and forever.”

Things are far from over and though you still never want to show your face in public ever again, you know that Kevin is going to do whatever he can to make things better and that’s enough for you.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @ricohenrique @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

#i don't love this but here it is!!! #one day i'll like the stories i write #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes fic #philadelphia flyers imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #cwrites #sour

[broadstflyers]

Congrats on 1 year! I love seeing your energy and positivity on my dash 😊

How about 💐 with Kevin Hayes please? I’d love to know what he would do for Valentines Day 🥰

aw, thank you so much! that is so appreciated. thank you so much for your request 🥰

💐: send me a player and i'll tell you about how i think they'd celebrate valentine's day with you

-------------

one word comes to my mind when i think of kevin hayes: goofy.

so, naturally, valentine's day is a lovely mixture of romance and pure goof.

why can i see him wearing a pink headband with hearts springing out of it?

and of course he bought some for you too, lol

so basically, he wakes you up like a kid on christmas, because he's just so excited

"come on, come on, get up, I have so many things we're gonna do today"

"5 more minutes, kev, please," you groan

he huffs, "fine. i know how you like your sleep."

so he takes those 5 (maybe 10 minutes) to put out your favorite flowers and a box of chocolates (or favorite candy), of course with that goofy headband on his head and yours as a gift

you slip out of bed and throw on a robe and pad into the kitchen

so you didn't see that goofy headband, but when you do, you cannot help but burst out laughing

that smile of yours, he just can't get enough of it. he's so happy he made you laugh

you can't help but run up to him and give him a giant hug. you love how silly he is

"here," he says as he reaches for your headband.

he gently places it on your head

fast forward, yes, the both of you wear your ridiculous headbands out in public. and you're loving every single second of it.

you walk hand and hand as you visit the aquarium (you both love to see the dolphins)

you shake your head gently to get the hearts to spring, and as a beautiful dolphin swims by, it seems to love the show and stops to watch you and kevin's hearts

maybe you got a few kids around you to chuckle :)

and it made the day even more special

come celebrate one year with me!

#gia's one year celebration #kevin hayes #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader

[hockeyboistrash]

that night | k.h

summary: a wedding, a pregnancy test, and a bunch of nosey hockey players. what could possibly go wrong?

The venue was perfect for Jenny’s and Corey's wedding. It was classic but not over the top. There was also enough room for the whole Flyers organisation and the bride and groom's family. While Travis suggested having orange as the colour, Jen decided against that and instead chose a nice shade of purple, which you were grateful for being a bridesmaid and all.

A glass of champagne was put in your hand at some point but you put it down as soon as you saw Carter trying to get your attention. You were friends with some of the younger players on the team but you were more like an older sibling than anything else. You went over to him and he lead you to the downstairs bathroom where Travis and Nolan were. You sent the latter a questioning look who only responded with a shrug.

"Okay, why are you three hanging around in the bathroom? And why am I here?" You asked, folding your arms across your chest and glaring at the three of them when no one said anything.

"Well we may have overheard Corey freaking out about the wedding and then I found this." Travis said showing the pink stick in his hand. "We thought that maybe it’s Jenny's."

"I’m going to stop you right there. Firstly, you do know someone’s peed on that, right?" You started making him drop the stick and scrunch up his face in disgust. "And secondly, you shouldn’t speculate who's it is. No one is going to say anything, got it?" They all nodded, not wanting to have your wrath if they didn’t listen to you. You shooed them out of the bathroom, staying in there yourself for a moment. This was the last thing you needed on top of keeping the wedding on track.

After taking a breather you left the bathroom bumping into Kevin. "Is there a reason why you four were in there together?" He asked, a huge grin on his face. It was one you couldn’t help but reciprocate.

"I don’t even know myself." You said with a little laugh and Kevin joined in. His laugh warmed your chest, it was probably one of your favourite sounds. Once the laughter died down you sighed and the stress you were feeling was apparent.

"Here. You look like you could use this." Kevin said handing you his drink.

"I can’t." You hesitated. "I can relax tomorrow once all of this is over but thank you."

"At least slow down a little. Everything looks perfect." He assured you, putting his hand on your arm.

You sent him a tired smile placing your own hand over his, appreciating the contact. "I’ll try."

"Y/N..." Kevin started and you knew what he wanted to talk about but you weren’t ready for that conversation and in the middle of the wedding weekend was the worst place to have it.

"I’ve got to check on the kitchen, Kev." You told him before leaving him alone in the hallway. You weren’t denying that you were avoiding him. The inevitable conversation was one that you were going to push for as long as you can.

When Kevin came to Philadelphia and to the team you became fast friends. It wasn’t a friendship like you had with the younger players. They were more like your brothers whereas you were in love with Kevin. It was a cliche, you knew that, yet you couldn’t help it. You had fallen for him hard but you never said anything because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship. This year hit differently when Kevin told you his plans of going to Boston over the summer. You knew it was going to happen, he did it last year. This time though you were going to miss him.

He came over the night before he had to leave for the airport. The two of you had dinner and now were watching a film, not that you were paying attention to it. He had is arm wrapped around you, pulling you so you were curled up next to him. It felt very domestic.

"What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?" Kevin asked, looking down at you with that goofy grin you love so much. Heat rose to your cheek at the thought of him catching you glancing at him throughout the evening.

"Just thinking about how quiet my apartment will be with you in Boston for the summer." You laughed.

"Take that back." He gasped although you could tell he was trying to hold back his own laughter.

"Make me." You grinned and Kevin saw that as a challenge as he started tickling you. Both of your laughter filled the apartment. It ended up with you laying on the couch with Kevin on top of you, his arms either side of you.

The alcohol you had earlier paired with the position you were now in had your inhibitions clouded. You looked up to see Kevin looking down at you with so much love in his eyes, or at least that’s what you perceived it to be. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck and leaned forward, softly pressing a kiss onto his lips. He didn’t pull away, in fact he kissed you harder. Neither of you pulled away until you both needed air.

"Are you sure about this?" Kevin asked and you nodded. He placed his hands under your thighs so he was holding you as he carried you to your bedroom. Laying on your bed, he started undressing you, pressing kisses up your stomach and to your neck then lips.

You ended up snuggled into Kevin's side, his arm around you, mirrored to how you were on the couch. "I’m going to miss you." You mumbled in your sleepy state.

"I’ll miss you too, Y/N/N." He returned before falling asleep himself.

The next morning the space beside you was empty and cold. You couldn’t help but have a sinking feeling in your stomach when you saw that Kevin was gone before you woke up. The thought of him regretting last night plagued your thoughts until you saw a text from him.

You looked peaceful sleeping so I didn’t want to wake you. Call you when I land.

He also sent a picture of him on his flight pouting with the caption 'missing you already'.

Kevin did call when he landed and got settled back home but he didn’t mention the night before. Mind you, you didn’t either. It was a two way street so you could have easily said something yet you felt something holding you back, maybe it was thought of losing him as your friend and not having him in your life.

It was easier to hide behind a phone than seeing him in person. All the feelings you have suppressed from that night came back at full force. You missed the way he held you, the way his kisses felt. Being at a wedding surrounded by your friends didn’t help. This was the last place you wanted to talk.

Thankfully the pregnancy test that was found wasn’t brought up until after the ceremony. The toasts have been done and everyone was chatting amongst themselves having a good time, dancing stupidly to the dj for their Instagram stories. The bride and groom however were standing in the hallway just off to the side of the main room with you and a few others.

"Why didn’t you tell me?" Corey asked.

"Tell you what?" Jen replied confused as to what he was on about.

"That you’re pregnant." He said and everyone’s eyes widened. Yours for a different reason though as you had told Travis to shut his big mouth about it.

"Because I’m not. Where is this coming from?"

"Teeks said he found a pregnancy test and-" He started before getting interrupted. While they were having this conversation you sent a glare to the young forward in question.

"Oh so if TK said it must be true?" Jen asked sarcastically. "And you, why did you just assume it was mine?" Travis shrugged at that and was about to say something when you sighed, having had enough. You shut your eyes momentarily feeling the start of a headache coming.

"It’s mine, okay?" You blurted out and silence fell upon the group. Everyone’s eyes were on you but it was Kevin's you felt drilling into you. It wasn’t confusion like everyone else’s but rather concern. "So can we please just drop it and carry on with this reception." You pleaded. Jen nodded along with the others before they headed back into the main room. You didn’t follow them though but rather made your way outside, tears threatening to fall.

You knew without looking that Kevin followed you outside. He didn’t say anything and instead wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry into his chest. The two of you stood like that in silence until you ran out of tears and you stayed like that with your head on his chest.

"I’m not pregnant." You mumbled. Kevin was surprised momentarily that you spoke up, certain that he’d have to try and get you to speak. "It was a false positive."

"Why didn’t you tell me?" He asked carefully. You knew what he was asking so he didn’t need to elaborate.

"I- I was scared." You admitted. You moved so you were looking at him but still had your arms wrapped around his waist. "We didn’t talk about that night and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship."

Kevin nodded, taking a moment to think about how he wanted to say this. "That night wasn’t just a one time thing for me, Y/N. I hated that I had to leave the next day especially without talking to you about it. Then I called you and I was too much of a wimp to say anything because like you I was fucking scared. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Just know that I love you and have done since I first met you."

"I love you too, Kev." You said, leaning up to softly kiss him.

#kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

[zackcollins]

his world or yours pt. 2 || kevin hayes

part 1 || masterlist

Author’s Note: I hadn’t originally planned on writing a part 2 for this. Then, someone sent me an anonymous ask. They said they liked part 1 but asked if I was going to write a part 2 because part 1 was really sad. Them asking that gave me inspiration to write this. I experimented with how I wrote it, so I hope it’s still written well enough. GIF credit goes to nylanders!! (Appropriate GIF lmao).

Warnings: Same mention of alcohol/drinking as the first part. Once again, if you need to avoid that, that’s understandable. That’s why I’m warning about it.

Word Count: 647 (short boi)

Based On: Her World or Mine by Michael Ray

Additional: As per the first one, the only hint of the gender of the reader is tied to the mention of the wedding dress. Like I said with the first part, wedding dresses can honestly be worn by anyone. So, the reader can really be whatever gender you want them to be. Hope that’s okay and makes sense!! Also hope you enjoy this!!

The first thing Kevin had done after he had broken up with you was deleted your number out of his phone. That’s what Nolan told you. What Nolan didn’t tell you was that Kevin wrote the number on a piece of paper and put it in his wallet. He wanted to have it handy in case you called him.

Nolan told you that Kevin threw your engagement picture from Mexico in the trash. What Nolan didn’t tell you was that it only stayed there for a couple of hours. Kevin fished it out and tacked it back onto the fridge where it belonged. Nolan didn’t tell you that Kevin whispered I love you to it whenever he opened the fridge. Didn’t tell you that he would occasionally talk to the picture like it was really you.

When you found out Kevin had no reaction to the song that was supposed to be your wedding song, you had holed up in your room for a week and not talked to anyone. What Nolan and the rest of Kevin’s teammates hadn’t told you was that Kevin went out and broke three of his sticks at practice. That he shot a puck with so much anger that he shattered one of the panes of glass behind the net. Everyone on Kevin’s team had agreed you weren’t to find out until Kevin was ready to tell you.

Every time Kevin went out drinking with the team, the pictures and videos the team sent the group chat portrayed Kevin as a responsible drinker. That’s what the team wanted you to think. Behind the pictures and videos, Kevin drank. He would wallow about the relationship to anyone on the team that would listen, all while throwing back drink after drink. Nolan never told you that when Kevin woke up hungover his first instinct would be to call out for you. Much like he had whenever he woke up hungover during the 5 years you dated.

No one told you that Kevin couldn’t stand sleeping in his apartment. He couldn’t stand being alone after being with you for 5 years. He would often crash at the house or apartment of whatever teammate was feeling the most generous that day. You weren’t told that on the days he did sleep at his apartment that he would cry himself to sleep because the bed was missing someone.

Nolan knew how much you wanted to call Kevin and ask to give the relationship a second chance. What Nolan didn’t reveal to you was that Kevin wanted to do the same thing. Kevin wanted to tell you that you meant the world to him; that you were who he wanted to spend his life with. He wanted to tell you he loved you and that you were all he could think about.

You had mentioned to Nolan how you were constantly thinking about the fact that you and Kevin had had your life planned out. That you were now flabbergasted as to what happened to change that. Nolan had nodded along and sympathized with you. What he hadn’t told you was that Kevin felt exactly the same way. Kevin was prepared to have a white-picket-fence life with you. The two or three children, the one or two dogs; everything. 

Kevin had gone ahead and had your wedding dress made; he needed something that reminded him of you. You were none the wiser because Nolan nor any of Kevin’s other teammates had told you this detail.

Your life had shattered into a million pieces and you were scrambling to survive. Kevin’s life had shattered into a million pieces and he was scrambling to survive. The only problem is you were none the wiser to that fact. There was only one fact that you were wiser too, no matter how wrong it was.

Kevin had moved on and you hadn’t.

#kevin hayes #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #philadelphia flyers #philadelphia flyer imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey fic #tw: alcohol #sad ending #writing #fanfiction #fanfiction writing #breakups #based on a song #ambiguous reader

[skjeinon]

tell me you love me - kevin hayes

kevin hayes x reader (blurb)

warnings: mention of sex, the beginning to the end of the frat boys

word count: 560

i never write blurbs or anything short but i was feeling soft for mr hayes and i wanted to write something </3

the move to philly from new york was hard, but what was even harder was the time from when he was in winnipeg to when he moved to philly.

i had lived with him , living out of his bedroom when he had lived with jimmy and brady. they didn’t seem to mind my presence and i didn’t mind theirs either but once kevin had gotten traded, there was a looming fear amongst everyone as brady moved out to live with gracia and with just jimmy, he didn’t want to live alone, he moved.

gracia and brady graced me with a room to stay in until me and kevin had it worked out. i knew i didn’t want to settle somewhere new in new york if i was going to mode to winnipeg to be with kevin, but when he signed with philly, all of our plans changed again and i was moving away from the family i had formed in new york with the rangers and the wags that accompanied them. the time in new york alone though was hard because even though i had brady, even though i had gracia and jimmy and chris and mika.. i had matt and fox, smith, and fast. it wasn’t the same. the love and support and people that had me and kevin’s back felt like nothing without kevin’s loud mannerisms, annoying chewing, crewed wake-up calls when he had to pee after sex. i missed staring at his hair , all messy after his game shower after i had convinced him to begin growing it out again.. he said when he had signed with philly he’d grow it out again. i missed his overly confused look on his face when he was only somewhat stumped. he always looked like he had something on his mind, or if he was just out of it, no in between. and his goofy smile was what made it so hard to not see him everyday.

“baby, i’m signing with philly..”

were probably the best 5 words i had heard in a while and when he told brady, i could tell he was happy he’d finally have his home back even though it meant that i would have to leave.

kevin’s new apartment in philly was small at least compared to the old apartment. it would fit the two of you and a dog or a cat perfectly, while there was also a spare bedroom for family or guests. but when i first walked in, i didn’t care about the home or the quality or the bed i’d lay my head in at night, i cared about kevin who had walked in behind me, wrapping his arms around me to push his face into my neck.

“i missed you so much.” his voice sounded broken as i turned around in his hold so i could catch his eyes. they were dark and tired.

“i missed you too baby..” i brought my arms up around his neck, pulling him close as our lips met. “i love you so much… so so much.”

he pulled away from the kiss, pushing his chin on my shoulder, before turning it to kiss my neck again, gently inhaling, trying to get the smell of the perfume he remembered, in his senses “i love you too..” he mumbled.

his tall frame awkwardly held me until he picked me up, taking me to the bedroom we intended to share. he laid me down and dove into bed next to me, holding me close. being tangled in bed with him was all that i wanted…

#kevin hayes #flyers lb #philidelphia flyers #new york rangers #nhl flyers #flyers fanfic #nhl fanfiction #frat bois #brady skjei #jimmy vesey #i miss the frat boys so much and i didn’t even like hockey when they all lived together #nhl blurb

[going-full-shmoo]

Can you do a Kevin Hayes friends you lover blurb when he was in college?

Here you go anon! I had to do some research, but thanks to one lovely @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky I was able to do it! Hope you like it.

REQUEST HERE / RULES

it was year three of your college career at Boston College, and you were getting very close to murdering your roommate

any other time, the two of you got along swimmingly, and you had formed a pretty tight bond

however, they had recently gotten a new boyfriend, and since then, they have literally not spent a single moment apart

like, they were practically attached

this was at least the 20th time that you walked in on the two of them making out on your roommates bed, literally looking like they were about to suck each other’s faces off

the first time you walked in, you screamed and ran away

now, you just walked in and started going about your business

you were sitting on your own bed, working on an assignment, when they finally separated thirty minutes later

“Oh hey, you’re back” your roommate spoke, still breathless from the face-sucking they had been doing moments earlier

“Yep. I’ve been working on my analysis for abnormal psych, and I’ve actually gotten quite a bit done” you murmured in reply, barely taking your focus off the laptop in front of you

“You know”, the boyfriend finally addresses you, “I have a friend who would be perfect for you”

“Huh, is that so” you mumble, once again not focusing on them

“Yeah, we play on the school’s hockey team together. Nice guy. I think you’d really like him”

“Oh my god, we should do a double date!” your friend added “(Y/N) what do you think?”

“Yeah sure whatever” you responded, once again more focused on your analysis than the conversation that was happening

“Great! Friday night! Let’s go out for dinner and a movie!”

you hummed in agreement not fully realizing what you just agreed to until Friday arrived

you were once again sitting on your bed just scrolling through twitter because procrastination, when your roommate comes back in

“Why aren’t you ready? We’re meeting with the boys in like, fifteen minutes!” they yelled at you

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“You agreed to do a double date with my boyfriend and one of his friends tonight!”

“I NEVER AGREED TO THAT”

“YES YOU DID”

you spent the next five minutes arguing before they forced an outfit into your hands, doing their best to quickly make your face and hair look presentable

“You are not going to spoil this night for us,” you heard your roommate utter “Plus, boo told me that his friend is like, totally perfect for you”

you just mutter under your breath because you cannot believe that you ended up in this situation

cut to you and your roommate waiting outside the movie theater, with the tickets to see the newest movie that just came out, About Time

obviously a rom com, and very obviously your roommates choice

you see your roommates boyfriend walking up, a very tall, sweet looking guy following behind him

as soon as he gets a look at your roommate, the boyfriend runs up and scoops them up in his arms, spinning them around and covering them with kisses

you internally gag because once again, they literally cannot keep their hands off each other

“So while they are sucking face, I guess I should introduce myself, I’m (Y/N), the roommate I’m sure you were told about”

“Kevin. It’s nice to meet you. And yeah he mentioned you. All good things, I promise”

“Well I’m glad he notices somethings because honestly I feel like they are always so engrossed with each other its hard for them to focus on anything else” you joke

and thankfully, Kevin laughs with you

eventually your roommate and their boyfriend separate for long enough for the four of you to go into the theater and find your seats

you and Kevin end up sitting in the row behind your roommate and the boyfriend because they wanted to “be alone” and “let you too get to know each other”

this, you had learned, was code for “we are going to grossly make out for the entire movie without stopping”

you and Kevin just sat behind them, uncomfortable at first, before you ended up bursting into a fit of giggles

“We are only two minutes into this movie and I swear they are already attached” he leaned over and whispered to you

“You should see them in our dorm” you whispered back, leading to more giggles

“You wanna get out of here” Kevin managed to get out after cooling off for a moment

you nodded at him, and the two of you quietly crept out of the theater

once you were outside, the two of you burst out into laughter

“Well that was awkward” you laughed

“I know, right? Like, what was the point of bringing us along if they were just gonna make out the entire time”

“I have no idea either,” you responded. “Wanna get some ice cream or something?”

“Yeah, lets do it”

the two of you made your way over to the ice cream shop, the bell ringing as you walked in

the two of you ordered, and Kevin insisted on paying no matter how hard you fought him on it

he made sure to wait and grab both of your orders for you so you could go and sit and relax

you had no idea how long the two of you sat inside that place, just talking and eating your ice cream

you were there long after you had both finished, and even up until the manager kicked the two of you out

you were sure that your roommate and their boyfriend were long gone at this point

you hated to say it, but they were right - Kevin was amazing

he was sweet, a bit dorky, kind, and made you laugh like no one you had met before

and the fact that he was just as interested in you and didn’t complain when you started to ramble on about your studies?

you could see yourself with someone like him

as he walked you back to your dorm, you wrapped your arm around his, bringing him close so you could get warm

he didn’t budge or complain, just smiled at you like it was the most normal thing in the world

“You know we should make this a normal thing”

“Make what a normal thing, Kevin”

“Ditching our friends so they can go swallow each other while we go and have fun”

you laugh, but nod

“I agree, we should make this a normal thing”

“What do you say, double date dinner Sunday night?”

“You sure your boy Tom Brady won’t mind you skipping a game?” you joked with him knowing that he would do anything to make sure that he saw his favorite (and your least favorite) team play

“For you, it would be worth it” he smiled shyly as the two of you got up to your door

“Then…its a date” you smiled bashfully back

he started to bring you in for a hug, which you gladly accepted

his embrace was warm, and you wished that something more went along with it, but you weren’t ready for that yet

the two of you said your goodbyes after getting each other’s numbers

that night you dreamed about the next time you would see him

little did you know that it was going to be the start of something even more than that

but you would never give your roommate the satisfaction of telling them they were right…that was for later

#kevin hayes #philadelphia flyers #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #philadelphia flyers imagine #philadelphia flyers imagines #jj writes

[matthewtkachuk]

if it's not you - kevin hayes

When a promotion at work calls for you to transfer back to Philadelphia, your ex-fiancé offers you the guest room of the home you used to share. What could possibly go wrong?

pairing: kevin hayes x reader

warnings: angst angst angst, relationship breakdown, talk of marriage and babies, low key plus size reader (and mention of exercise as an unhealthy coping mechanism), travis konecny sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, the over romanticization of spaghetti bolognese, smut

word count: 11k

a/n: here's the first half of a fic i've been working on for months, sorry not sorry for what i've done. in loving memory of my dearest k @danglesnipecelly who wanted either roommate kevin or ex kevin and instead i murdered her with both

Everyone you knew said it was a terrible idea.

Your mom, your best friends, the coworkers you were leaving behind, even Jimmy and Brady said it was a terrible idea. Jimmy and Brady, who share a single brain cell.

Deep down you recognize for yourself just how bad of an idea it was, but that knowledge was locked deep down beside the residual hurt and the love that you pretended had died long ago.

Maybe you were a masochist, deriving a sick sense of pleasure from torturing yourself like this. Or maybe you were just fucking stupid, naive and ignorant, unable to conceptualize all the ways things could go wrong.

Or maybe you just really missed him.

No matter the reasoning, and no matter how many people in your life tried to convince you otherwise, you were transferring to your company’s Philadelphia office, and the spare bedroom you were moving into was in the house you’d once lived in with your ex fiancé.

-

It was nothing, really, you tried to convince yourself. Just Kev being Kev, lonely what with his buddy and roommate Nolan shipped off to Vegas, and it’s not like you would find a place with cheaper rent than “free, as long as you promise to make dinner now and then.”

You can’t really explain why you reached out in the first place, with only a handful of conversations occurring in the months since you called off your engagement. Part of it was the excitement of it all, you’d gotten so caught up in it all that the second you left your boss’ office your thumb was hovering over his contact in your phone. That hadn’t been the moment you’d called him, though.

No, you’d celebrated the way you’d been forced to grow accustomed to without Kevin in your life - a drink with a few select coworkers and a phone call to your mom.

Maybe some part of you thought you owed it to him, to give him a heads up that you were returning to his city once again, a warning of sorts. Maybe you expected hesitance in his tone, a lack of warmth in his reply.

Kevin’s never really been that predictable though, and his response is nothing short of pure excitement. It’s here that he suggests you move in, at least temporarily, much to your surprise. You tell him you’ll think about it because it’s a big decision, but you’re certain you’ll tell him ‘thanks for the offer, but I have to decline.’

Certain, that is, until he ends the call uncharacteristically soft, nothing but sincerity on the tip of his tongue as he speaks, “I’m really proud of you, you know.”

You call him back the next morning and tell him you’ll do it.

-

Philly’s got an edge to it that you’ve felt drawn to since the first time you set foot in the city. You were sixteen, at some pop punk concert at the Mann your best friend had convinced you to sneak out of the house for. There was something in the air then, and for a moment, in the midst of a high energy show, with everyone around you screaming in unison, you’d felt it. A draw and a pull and a sense of belonging that you didn’t feel again in your hometown.

Not until you were a freshman at Boston College, stumbling into a cute guy with a loud laugh and a thick accent at a house party after a big hockey win.

You feel it again, pulling into the driveway of a very expensive house in a very rich neighborhood of Philly. Your house. Or at least it was, once. You remember the excitement of flying down to Philly twice, touring a dozen different houses before settling on this one. It was the bright and open kitchen that had stolen your heart the minute you’d stepped foot in it. He’d asked his teammates' opinions, but you know that even if they hadn’t all mostly agreed, he would have bought this one for you.

There was a time when Kevin would have done anything for you, if you only asked.

Your SUV is full to the brim with your clothes and the few personal effects you had kept - the majority of your things had been sold or donated when you’d committed to the transfer. It’s weird, to be parking this car in this driveway, as if you’d never taken Kevin’s grandmother’s ring off your finger, as if you’d later slipped on the wedding band to match.

Your ring finger is as bare as it has been for more than a year, though, as you flex your fingers against the steering wheel, willing yourself to move on from your thoughts. They’re not productive, they only serve to further break your own heart. You can’t let it go, though. Not here, not in front of this house. No, you need to sit in it for a moment, collect yourself, take it all in and let yourself wallow in it before you face what was once your dream home.

Kevin comes outside as you’re pulling bags from the trunk, wrapping you up in a hug that feels too real, too genuine, too meaningful. You lean into it against your better judgement, squeezing your arms around him tightly, as if you could put both of your broken pieces back together with a single hug. You have to stop yourself from telling him you missed him, certain he doesn’t want to hear about how you’ve been wallowing your way through life without him.

He has to stop himself from welcoming you home.

“You don’t have to help,” you tell him as he starts grabbing some of your bags. The look he sends you tells it all and you shrug sheepishly, “Thanks.”

With your former fiance’s help, your things are taken inside in only a few trips despite your attempts to prolong the feat. Without the distraction of hauling your things in and then scurrying back to your car, you’re forced to look around at what had once been your home. You’re not surprised to see not much has changed. Between the interior designer he’d hired and your own input, Kev had remarkably little to do with the design of the house.

As you shift side to side on your feet, feeling incredibly awkward and out of place, you spot a frame on the mantle, nestled in beside photos of his siblings and parents and nieces and nephews. The frame blends in perfectly, the exact same metal as the others around it, but you really didn’t think the subject belonged anymore.

Because the photograph contains your and Kevin’s smiling faces, his arms wrapped around your shoulders with your hands settled on his forearms, the sparkling ring glinting on your ring finger, with a beautiful sun setting over Cape Cod.

“It was my favorite,” he says simply and something inside of you breaks. It all kind of hits you then, not for the first time certainly, but it hits you all the same. That photo shouldn’t be the only one that contained you in this living room; there should be beautiful pictures of a wedding day, of you in white and Kevin in his best suit. Of his nieces and nephews in flower girl dresses and little ring bearer suits. Of a little baby boy or girl of your own.

It’s too much and you can’t keep the facade up any longer.

“I’m gonna go start putting things away,” you lie, quickly turning and rushing past him before he can see the telltale look of despair on your face.

“Do you want me to order take out tonight? I can get from that Italian place you like.” It’s an olive branch and a peace offering and an honest to goodness suggestion all rolled into one and you know you shouldn’t be acting like this. You know that if you couldn’t handle it, can’t handle it, you shouldn’t be here at all.

And so you pause in the doorway, still unable to look back at him. “Sure Kev, you know what I like.” It slips out, the easy casualness of it all because it’s how you used to answer when he’d posit the question of what you wanted from whatever restaurant you were ordering from. It was a comfort, really, that he knew you so well he didn’t have to think twice about getting you something you’d enjoy.

It makes the moment feel even heavier than it needs to, even heavier than it had a moment ago when you’d spotted that old familiar photo on the mantel. You don’t know how to take it back, though, don’t know how to explain that you didn’t mean it that way. The silence stretches between the two of you awkwardly in ways it hadn’t ever really in the entirety of your relationship. Even when things were falling apart it hadn’t ever really felt like this.

Like you were two strangers and not people with a long and drawn out history.

You won’t look at him, but he can’t stop the way his eyes track your every move, your words rattling around in his brain. Did he know what you liked? Or did you change your favorite pasta dish like you’d changed the address on your driver's license? Was it still penne alla vodka or did you prefer alfredo now? Did you still take sugar and cream in your coffee or had you kicked the caffeine habit entirely?

For a long time he’d thought about what it would be like for you to step foot back in this house, your presence filling the empty rooms in a way no one had been able to since you’d left. He’d tried, letting Patty move in, and then the girls who’d treated his front door like it was revolving rather than made of wood.

With the door to the spare bedroom clicking behind you softly, you toss yourself onto the unmade bed and cry. You cry for the past, you cry for the present, but most of all you cry for the future that you’d both robbed yourselves of.

When he knocks later to let you know the food has arrived - as if you hadn’t heard the doorbell and the subsequent booming nature of his voice - you’ve stopped crying but your face feels puffy. Kevin has the good sense to not mention it as you move with practiced ease around each other. The silverware is in the same spot it always has been, and so are the glasses. Even the Brita water filter is in the same spot in the refrigerator and it all makes your heart ache more.

Not for the first time, as you sit across from the man you thought you would get to love forever, you wonder what the fuck you’re doing here.

Kevin notices. Of course he fucking notices, what with the way he can’t tear his eyes off of you and the way he used to know you better than the back of his hand. He knew what you looked like first thing in the morning and he knew what you looked like with happy tears streaming down your face the night he’d proposed and he knew what you looked like with your bags packed, shutting the door behind you for the last time.

He notices but he doesn’t do anything because it’s not his place. It’s not his job to anticipate your feelings when you aren’t capable of verbalizing them or to reassure you that your fears are unfounded. Not anymore and it hasn’t been for a long time. He hates that it’s no longer his job or his place and he hates that you’re both in this position and more than anything he hates that you left him and this is what it’s all come to. You home but not really home, only here because of the very job that had torn you apart to begin with.

His heart is heavy and yours is too as you stare at each other from across the too large dining table, both wondering if you were making a mistake as large as the one you’d made when you’d let each other go.

-

Really, living with Kevin in a totally platonic, non-romantic way is both harder and easier than you thought.

It’s harder because you had grossly underestimated how badly being near him would make you want him. You should have known the dull ache in not being his anything anymore would only grow and multiply when the temptation to touch him increased with every interaction. Once a throbbing pain you could ignore by throwing yourself into the job you had chosen over him, now it was constant, unyielding and unforgiving - sharp reminders of what choosing yourself had cost you.

In some ways, it’s so similar to before, the feelings still bubbling under the surface but never boiling over. In the early days after your breakup you’d wondered if you would love him forever despite it all. In a cold and bare apartment in the middle of New York City you knew you would, heart aching and face tear stained. You’re reminded of the hurt in those moments as the weeks pass. Truthfully you don’t remember how to be his friend. For the majority of your adult life he’d been your best friend, sure, but he’d been your best friend in the way only a romantic partner can be.

And yet it’s not the same because in those quiet moments where once you would have leaned into the comfort of his embrace, you find yourself violently ripping away. Because even though your brain is well aware of all the hurt and the need for things like boundaries and space, your body is several steps and many years behind.

It feels wrong to see him soft and warm in the morning light of the kitchen without slipping in behind him and wrapping your arms around his body, your body nearly giving into the urge of its own accord before you can shake the feeling off and head for the coffee pot instead. It’s downright torture to walk past the back of the couch without slipping a hand into his hair and pressing your lips to his cheek.

The feeling is mutual, even if you don’t know it, as he has to resist the urge to press his body against yours while you reach on your tip toes for something in the cupboard or stand at the sink, washing dishes.

It’s easier in that you breathe a little easier in his presence, sleep a little better too. Being around him is as natural as breathing, probably too natural if you were honest with yourself. You catch yourself leaning in a little too much to his innocent touches, slipping up and almost telling him you love him when you say goodnight or he leaves for a string of away games, nearly curling up against his side when he puts a movie on in the living room.

Although sometimes sleep doesn’t come that easy. Not when you spend half the night tossing and turning, micro analyzing every interaction with the man asleep only feet away from you. From the smallest touches to the accidental slip ups that have you stuttering out an apology neither of you are sure you mean, you go through every second of it and wonder how you could have done things differently. On nights like this the guilt threatens to eat you up from the inside out. You run through hundreds of scenarios in your head, from the sweetest reunions to the harshest endings, ones where you sever the ties so completely you can never come back from it.

These nights are the worst when you have to haul your ass out of bed early in the morning to get to the office for eight.

Several months into calling what used to be your spare room home, luckily for you, isn’t one of those nights, but it doesn’t mean the exhaustion seeping into your bones is lessened any as the clock reads several minutes past two a.m. You toss onto your left side, then your right, then on your back, huffing and puffing with the energy of each turn. The pillow is fluffed and turned to the cold side multiple times as the minutes pass and pass. You count sheep, recite the alphabet backwards and forwards, even put on ambient music and then a sleep podcast.

Nothing helps, and you grow more and more exhausted. Until your sleep addled brain decides the best course of action is to slip into the bed that used to be yours.

The house is quiet and dark as you sneak down the hallway, feet cold and silent against the hardwood floor that you’d hated when you’d first moved in. “I like carpet,” you’d grumbled. Kev had only laughed, pressing his lips to yours and promising you that he’d buy you all the area rugs you could possibly want.

Kev doesn’t say anything now as you slip into the master bedroom, not until you’re pausing a few steps away from the bed with so many memories attached to it. Of you moaning and writhing beneath the sheets, of midnight kisses when he got back from a game at home, of lazy Sundays and breakfast in bed - even if the toast had been burnt and the coffee cold.

The comforter is different, but you should have expected that. There’s less pillows, but you should have expected that too. You were the pillow monster after all, adamant that you needed more than the customary two.

He wakes with a fright, and you’re reminded of when he made you sleep with the lights on after watching the first Paranormal Activity in theaters. “I don’t care how much I love you, if you were ever just standing at the foot of the bed watching me sleep I’d kick you in the face.”

“S’wrong?” he slurs, voice heavy with sleep the way you remember it being in the morning, warm and soft, gooey like honey.

You feel so foolish then, you had no business waltzing into this bedroom. What were you expecting, really? It wasn’t his job to make sure you had a good night’s rest. Not that he had when you were dating, more often keeping you up late into the early hours of the morning with his head between your thighs.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you admit, before shaking your head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in here. I-” You move to leave the room and pretend you’d never opened that door, but his large hand comes up to encircle your wrist.

“C’mere,” he says, using that grip to pull you in closer. You go willingly, slipping into bed beside him and letting him pull you into his chest. You fall asleep seconds after closing your eyes, drifting even closer in your slumber.

You wake up first, comfortable and warm and secure, but you sneak out before he even has a chance to wake.

He thinks he dreamt the whole thing.

-

Though your relationship with Kevin had been born out of a chance encounter at a house party, it had really developed around food. Your early dates had been dinners after hockey games, you in his jersey and he always wearing a backwards BC hat, legs linked under the table. Sometimes his teammates wouldn’t pick up on his very obvious social cues that it wasn’t an open invitation, and you’d have to squish between Kev and Johnny on one side of a faded booth.

Later, the venue became the kitchen. That’s not to say the two of you didn’t enjoy a nice night out together, or didn’t indulge in more than your fair share of take out, because you certainly did.

It’s just, you’d grown up with your parents cooking together in the kitchen, witnessed many sweet moments of adoration and love - even if things weren’t always perfect with their marriage, they never missed cooking Sunday dinner together. It was one of the things you were most grateful for in your childhood, and something you’d always vowed to make part of your future relationships.

Of course with his hockey career, Sunday wasn’t always feasible, and neither was a strict once a week schedule, but you’d always leaned into the moments you could.

Kevin wasn’t ever really the best cook, absolutely spoiled by his mom’s skills in the kitchen and then the dining plan at BC and then you’d taken it upon yourself to make sure he was always well fed. What he lacked in skill though he absolutely made up for in enthusiasm and willingness to be bossed around by you.

“I like when you tell me what to do,” he’d smirked at you once during the first years in New York together, dutifully cutting vegetables for your casserole.

And then you’d fallen in love with this very kitchen, with its marble detailing and offwhite cabinetry and gold handles. The built in butcher block and the sink in the island, the stainless steel, french-door refrigerator and matching stove. Enough space for you and Kevin to cook together in harmony while your own children could look on in awe at how much their parents loved each other.

You’d envisioned all those moments here in that kitchen and then you’d watched them disappear like smoke.

Now you were half a year into living with Kevin, still dancing around the feelings you never let go of, picturing some other woman cooking with him at the kitchen island, their children watching them the way you always thought yours would.

-

It was an accident, you repeat to yourself over and over again. That mantra on a loop as you sit on your bed in Kevin’s guest room, trying and failing to keep your breathing even. The problem is you can still taste his lips on your tongue, can feel his stubble beneath your hand and the ghost of his touch on your hips.

It was an accident, the way his hands found the skin just above your jeans as he attempted to move past you in the kitchen. The way your body lit up under his touch, the way you leaned into it all. Muscle memory, really, as your lips met his right around the time your hands slid up his shoulders to cup his face.

It was an accident, how you stepped even closer, pressing the entire length of your body against his. The growl deep in his chest as he held you tightly to him. The slip of his tongue inside your mouth, the scrape of your teeth against his lips.

And then nothing, as you’d stepped back in a panic with eyes wide and chest heaving.

You’d turned and ran back to the sanctity of this bedroom, your untouched plate of food entirely forgotten.

The sound of the front door is not easily mistaken, and soon you realize you’re all alone in the house. Suddenly there’s only one person you want to hear from.

Grabbing your phone, you slump to the ground with your back against the closet door, knees pulled to your chest while you hear the familiar sound of the dial tone.

“Hello?”

You sigh, the familiar voice of one of your oldest friends like music to your ears. “Jimmy?”

The background noise fades as you can only assume he’s separated himself from whoever he was with. He says your name softly, an edge of confusion laced within it, “Are you okay?”

You sigh again. The truth is, you’re not even sure if you’re okay or not. Being near Kevin is as good for your soul as it is harmful to your heart. Unadulterated pleasure at being witness to his bedhead in the morning once again, sweatpants hung low on his hips as he leaves the bedroom you’d once shared, yet the sharpest pain as you try to exist together in this house, yet so, so apart. Every day you break your heart, yet every day you heal a bit of it too.

“I’m not going to say I told you so,” he says minutes later after you’ve gotten everything you needed to say off your chest.

You groan a little, Jimmy’s always been a bit of a know-it-all. “Stupid Harvard,” you grumble under your breath. He laughs, not at all offended and very used to the chirps.

“You know I love you, but...”

“But you told me so,” you sigh again. “I don’t know what to do Jimmy.”

“Talk to him. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Truthfully, there’s a long list of worst case scenarios, and you’ve already run them in your head a hundred times.

Kevin doesn’t come home until darkness has descended on Philly. In the meantime you’ve had two mental breakdowns and ten imaginary arguments with him in your head. You’ve written down every important point you want to say four times, the four pieces of paper crumpled in the garbage can more than enough proof of that.

You’re sitting on the couch when he comes in, your entire body freezing as you brace for a fight. It never comes, though. Kevin acts like nothing’s wrong, like he didn't have his tongue down your throat only a few hours ago. He’s picture perfect normal, asking you if you want to order take out tonight or if you’d already taken something out for supper. You stumble through your responses but he never breaks.

It hurts more than you thought it would, certainly far more than it would have if he had yelled and screamed the minute he walked through the door. He even sits down on the other end of the couch, arm outstretched and entire body looking so welcoming, so enticing. As if you could just curl up against him like you used to do so many nights before.

You don’t, though. You stay scrunched up on your little corner of the couch, body rigid and face emotionless until you give in and go to bed alone, with far more questions than answers.

-

Right when things started going wrong, you’d taken up running. Truthfully it was more of a brisk walk interspersed with moments of sprinting that usually left you out of breath and cursing yourself for not being more in shape. It had been silly, a way for you to attempt to fit into the mold of the stereotypical WAG. Part of you thought if you were just able to get in shape, shed a few pounds, that you would be able to save your relationship.

It’s stupid, now that you look back on it, but you’d been so convinced that your size was going to be the downfall of your relationship. If you could only push past your hurt and your ego, you’d realize it was a breakdown in communication above anything else.

Regardless, you’d kept up with it, slowly turning into more of a runner and less of a walker. It hadn’t done much for slimming you down, but you felt healthier, didn’t feel like your heart was going to burst out of your chest or like you’d never pull enough air into your lungs ever again after a short jaunt.

You find yourself running again, a strange sense of nostalgia and heartbreak washing over you as you make the same old, familiar trail around the neighborhood. More houses have come up, some have come down, new cars and new families all around reminding you that while your world may have ended in the brick house four blocks away, it had continued to spin for everyone else.

When you return, Kevin’s just leaving for practice. The air is thick with tension and awkward energy as you carefully dance around one another. The desire to shower is so strong, but as he steps into his shoes you can’t help but blurt out, “Are we not going to talk about it?”

He looks alarmed, face frozen in the expression it had been before you spoke, but his eyes told the wildest tale all on their own. You’re sure your eyes match his own - wild, crazy, disbelieving. Where he had been unable to believe you’d just asked that, you’d been just as bewildered that the words had actually left your mouth.

“What?” he says stupidly.

You gulp and run a hand over your forehead, before repeating yourself. “Are we really not going to talk about it?”

His jaw clicks as he ponders your words, eyes sliding to the box under the television that reads the time. “I’m sorry, I-” he pauses, words perched at the very tip of his tongue, “I have to get to practice.”

“Right,” you nod slowly, “Well have fun with that.” You turn on your heel and head in the direction of the guest bathroom, determined to wash off not only the sweat of your run, but the awkward tension of the conversation from your skin.

-

Weeks pass without any more slip ups, but without any more explanation, either.

Somehow, you get better at shoving your feelings down, even as Kevin does nothing to help quell them. You gain more comfort in your position at work, you grow and learn and thrive, even as the little voice in the back of your head reminds you the only reason you’ve made it this far is because you let Kevin go.

Slowly, Kevin’s life reintegrates with yours. It starts with a few of the boys lingering in the doorway when picking Kev up for the bus or the plane, new eyes curious and old stares hardened against you. An errant happy hour after work sees Kevin meeting your new subordinates and coworkers as well as your friend Emily who you referred to jokingly as your ‘work wife’ when the two of you had been dating. He waves off all your apologies, far more concerned with getting you home safely than anything else, and when he tells Em it was good to see her, you think he means it.

From there, the boys start to make more frequent appearances at the house, as you imagine they’ve been doing in the time you’ve been gone. Their hesitancy gives you pause, makes you feel like maybe you’re interfering with Kev’s life - a brick wall where there used to be a doorway.

Soon, it’s not uncommon for at least one Flyer or two to be hanging around in some capacity. They’re all polite enough, offering you a smile and a greeting. Of them all, G is probably the most genuine, telling you a bit about his kids and always reminding you Ryanne would love to see you.

You can’t step back into that world though, certainly not when you are neither wife nor girlfriend, but rather the pathetic ex being shown more kindness than you think you deserve. And so you always smile, but decline any efforts to include you and hide in your room until they leave.

Travis isn’t so friendly.

From the first time he sets his eyes on you once again, there’s nothing but contempt behind them. It’s such a startling difference from how he existed in your memory - friendly, kind, excitable. Now his stare is burning and unsettling.

You do your best to ignore it, hiding away in your room and only coming out when necessary.

It’s like Travis is lying in wait as he all but pounces on you when you leave the sanctity of the guest room an hour or two after getting home. “Travis,” you state politely while trying to edge around him toward the kitchen and a glass of water. He replies with your name in a tone far less cordial. Something about it all has the hair on the back of your neck standing up and your body moving into a defensive position; you’re pretty sure you’re in for a fight whether you want one or not.

“What do you want Teeks?” you ask after a minute long staredown that feels like an eternity. There’s no mistaking the way his jaw clenches as his nickname leaves your lips.

“You can’t keep hurting him like this,” he says simply. Your posture relaxes when you realize you’re not in for a verbal lashing, but then you’re confused. Hurting him? By simply existing?

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t act so surprised or confused. You know exactly what you’re doing,” he replies, but doesn’t elaborate further, shouting that he’s coming when someone calls for him. Travis walks backwards a few steps, his eyes never leaving yours before he’s shaking his head and rejoining the others.

You can’t stop thinking about it though, the conversation replaying over and over in your mind. What exactly did Travis think you were doing, and why was it hurting Kevin? Was your presence really that toxic, your existence here, in this house, that painful? You can read between the lines, fluent in the art of never saying what you mean, and so you know that Travis (and likely everyone else) thinks you have ulterior motives, like it’s fun for you or some sort of game the way you dance around Kevin, lost in the memory of what it’s like to have him and lose him.

And so you pull away even further. Gone are the nights spent separately but together on the couch. Conveniently, work picks up around the same time, giving you the out of late nights in the office where you return so exhausted you do nothing but shower and fall into bed.

You start looking for apartments to rent once again.

It works for a time. Kevin’s busy being a superstar, you’re busy avoiding him - the perfect scenario, really. But he’s not stupid, he knows something is going on, that there’s something you’re not telling him.

“You’re not holding up your end of the bargain, you know,” he states offhandedly on one of the rare occasions he has to speak with you before you flee in the morning. You pause with your hand on the coffee pot and turn to him with your eyebrows raised. “Home cooked dinner, remember?”

Gulping, you turn back to the task at hand, fixing up your travel mug of coffee just the way you like it. With a tone that feels clipped and forced, you reply, “Right, how about tomorrow night?”

“It’s a date.”

-

“Something smells good,” Kevin’s loud voice breaks the silence you’d been cooking in.

You shrug, stirring the sauce briefly before pulling a noodle from the pot to test. He can’t help the smile that breaks out upon watching your face scrunch up thoughtfully before you sigh, “Needs another minute. Think you can set the table?”

He does as he’s told; he always was the type to ask ‘how high’ when you told him to jump.

“Tastes good, too,” he states later while sitting across from you at the dining table the two of you only ever used when his mom was in town. There’s an open bottle of wine on the table between you, but you can’t help but shift your eyes toward the wine rack behind him, thinking you’ll likely need another soon.

“It’s just spaghetti bolognese,” you shrug self-deprecatingly. It’s not like it took a whole lot of effort, or like you’d slaved away all day at it.

He appreciates it all the same though, smiling genuinely at you before softly speaking, “It always reminds me of sophomore year.”

Though the memory of being so in love during your college years is a painful one now, what with how it all ended, it still brings a thoughtful smile to your face. You had hated living on campus, your freshman year roommate was a total snob and you despised the lack of privacy, and so you’d rented an apartment nearby sophomore year with a few friends you’d met in an intro econ class. Kev had spent all his free time at your apartment rather than his own space, not that you had minded.

To celebrate your first anniversary, you’d sexiled your roommates and made him the very meal you were now eating.

For a moment you’re embarrassed, it’s not that you’d exactly forgotten the memory, but it hadn’t been on your mind as you’d started cooking. It was just quick and easy, and in all honesty, you’d probably be able to make it in your sleep by now. He doesn’t bug you, though, doesn’t say anything stupid or make you feel like you were in the wrong.

It’s quiet then, the only sound being your playlist quietly playing through the speaker in the kitchen from where you’d forgotten to stop it. Quiet, that is until he opens his mouth.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” It’s a statement, not a question, but you freeze with your fork midair just the same.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” you reply, prim and proper, hoping he lets it go. That wasn’t really Kevin’s style, though, not until the last few months before the end of your relationship. When he’d let you speak in half truths and responded in kind, if either of you spoke at all. Before then, he was a straight-to-the-point, never go to sleep angry kind of guy, and so you knew your hopes were unfounded.

“Cut the shit.” His body language mirrors his tone of voice, shoulders slumped and expression melancholy.

“Nothing, work’s just picked up and I’m a little stressed about some deadlines. No big deal.” You avoid his eyes, carefully twirling some spaghetti around your fork.

He says your name with such conviction that you almost break, bottom lip twitching with the desire to pout. You swallow down whatever you might have said alongside a bite of your food. A low growl leaves his throat then, alongside the slamming of his fist on the dinner table, the silverware rattling in response. You flinch, but finally meet his eyes and is that not what he had wanted? “What’s. Going. On?” His words are short, and his temper is too, but beneath it all is a desire to know that you’re okay.

Part of you wonders if it would be better to double down. To insist that he’s crazy, that nothing’s wrong. It calls back a bit too strongly to the last set of fights between the two of you right before you left with your bags backed and an empty ring finger. When you danced around the truth, hinting and implying and speaking in tongues rather than admit your insecurities. There were many nights in the time since where you wondered if you’d just dug in a little deeper, let him in a little closer, if things wouldn’t have ended up the way they did.

Another part of you kind of wants to hash it all out, right here, right now. Inside of you is that sweet eighteen year old who fell in love with a gentle giant at a house party and she’s practically begging on her knees for you to let her speak. To let her carve out the heart that still beats for him and place it neatly on the table for him to take. You can’t though. Not while the you with her bags packed and the shattered pieces of her heart stuck together with a shoddy bandaid stands in front screaming to get out of here.

And then there’s you, as you are, sitting at this dinner table that holds so many memories - the first night in the new house, birthdays, anniversaries, the laughter of his nieces and nephews. You are sad that it’s come to this, broken at the idea of the distance between you expanding far past the length of the dining room table, confused that now he’s choosing to talk about it when it was fine for months to skirt around the issues.

“Now you wanna talk about it?” you can’t help but snap. Kevin reacts like you’ve slapped him, flinching and grimacing and you know you haven’t been wrong that it was purposeful the way he’s avoided it all.

It doesn’t temper his attitude though, his grip on his fork only tightening as he speaks through a tense jaw, “Yeah, I do. So talk.” And you really want to latch onto the anger and the hurt you feel licking up your spine and wield words like a knife. But what right do you have to do that? To throw things back at him. He’s not your fiance, not even your boyfriend anymore. Just an ex with a big heart, letting you stay in the house you picked out until you find your own brick house with a bright open concept kitchen and someone new to cook dinner with in it.

And so you decide to be a little vulnerable. Sighing, you ask, “Do you regret letting me stay?”

Though the syllables are anything but complex, the question is not an easy one and neither is the answer. He’s silent for long enough that you start to wonder if you’ve said something wrong. He lets a hand run down his face, squeezing his chin for a second. “Why are you asking me that?” Kevin might not be the man warming your bed every night anymore, but he still knows you better than anyone else and he’s sure there’s something more going on here than a little doubt and insecurity.

“Can you please just answer the question?” you snap again. You’d feel bad about it, but you can’t feel anything beyond the anxiety that’s causing your heart to race in your chest.

“No, I don’t,” he says finally and you really don’t know if the emotion you feel is relief or grief. They’re so similar, sisters not twins in the way they both cause your jaw to unclench, your shoulders to drop.

“Why don’t you regret it?”

His expression falls just the tiniest amount further, and if you didn’t know every line of his face so intimately, you probably wouldn’t notice. “I’m only going to ask you one more time,” he speaks through a clenched jaw, “Why are you asking me all this?”

You swallow hard then, the image of Travis with a snarled mouth just outside your door so clear in your mind. “Travis said something,” you admit softly. He curses softly under his breath, rising from his chair and crossing the space between you quickly before pulling you up along with him. The weight of your hands in his is as comforting and grounding as you remember, though you focus your gaze on where your limbs are linked. He squeezes your fingers, not enough to hurt, but enough to make you look up into his eyes.

“His heart’s in the right place,” he says and you can’t find it in yours to disagree. You know that Kev was as broken by the break up as you were and you know that you left the mess for the likes of Trav and Nolan and everyone else to clean. The thing is, you know this and you’ve already been feeling guilty about this, but to have such a harsh reminder thrown in your face hit you that much harder. “None of this has been easy for me, you know. Nothing has, not since... well...” Not since you left. “But I will always want what is best for you and that’s why I invited you to stay and that’s why I want you to keep staying here.”

You feel it, all the words unspoken between you, all the hurt and the anguish and the yearning. You feel it, and yet you allow him to pull you in for a heavy hug, one where his every emotion pours out of every inch of his skin. Squeezing him tightly right back, you listen to the steady rhythm of his heart, inhale the heady scent of his aftershave, memorize the feel of him all around you, invading every single one of your senses.

“We’re okay right? You still mean a lot to me and I don’t ever want us to feel like strangers.” You may not have Kevin in the way you used to, but you can’t ever go back to watching his life from the sidelines. It’s another sliver of vulnerability and he swallows it up greedily. One hand slides to the underside of your jaw, cradling your face in his large hand as he tilts your head backwards just a smidge. He presses his lips to your forehead in a motion that you feel all the way down to the tips of your toes.

“We’re okay, baby. We’re okay.” The pet name slips out without much thought from him, but he doesn’t take it back and you don’t make a big deal out of it.

And you are okay. You resume watching tv on the couch separately but together, the inches between you slowly fading until you find yourself resting your head on his shoulder while some terrible action flick plays on. The home cooked dinners ramp up too, a mix of old and new favorites enjoyed at the dining table, with good conversation and even better laughter. Somehow, Ryanne even convinces you to come to a few home games, and it doesn’t even make you feel that strange or that much of an outsider - especially not after a cold beer during warmups and a cuddly Gav on your lap for most of the game.

You’re okay but you’re not okay because you do all these things as a side character in his life. No longer are you a starring cast member of the Kevin Hayes Show, the smarter half of the A plotline. You’re a C plot at best, a minor background character who delivers the punchline that is your new relationship or lack thereof. There are no hands on thighs or asses or breasts when you sit on the couch together, no pretext or motive behind watching the film like there once was. When you cook those dinners, you don’t have to ward off wandering hands and stolen kisses that distract you long enough for the smoke detector to start beeping. Ryanne is a friend but so is Kevin and the family box doesn’t hold the same comfort it once did.

It’s still hard and it still hurts, but you’re navigating a life with Kevin that isn’t a life with Kevin. Not the kind you’d always imagined and dreamed of, that is.

-

It’s an old habit, the way you pull your favorite navy suit of his from his closet, hanging it carefully on the hook on the back of his door. You used to do this, before; set out a suit for him to wear for his game while he was at morning skate. There’s no real explanation for why you do it now, except, maybe, that it feels right to do so. Like maybe you could lean into it for a moment and pretend that nothing had ever gone wrong, that you’d never been hurt.

That feeling doesn’t last long, not as you return to the living room and curl up on the couch, old reruns of some sitcom playing on tv while you pretend you’re not waiting for him to come home.

Home.

What a strange word, with an even stranger connotation. Once this house had been your home, the bedroom he now sleeps alone in had once contained your shared bed, his closet that is no longer full once held your work clothes alongside his suits, his ensuite once boasted your toothbrush alongside his. And then it had been cruelly taken from you, the very rug you now stand on had been pulled from beneath your feet. It had been your doing as much as it had been his, of course, but the point remains the same. This was no longer your house, so when did it become home to you once again?

Although, was it the brick and mortar that felt like home or was it the person?

You don’t have much time to dwell on it before he’s back, time fading as he grabs a bite to eat and then heads to his room for a nap. Once upon a time, he would have begged you to join him, probably copping a feel in the process. Once upon a time, you used to fall asleep with your head on his chest.

When he emerges a while later, you have to pretend like you’re not caught up in the memory of it all by the sight of him in that suit. Like you don’t remember the press of that belt buckle into your stomach, or the slide of those lapels under your fingertips. He thanks you with that big dumb grin of his, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he leaves for the arena.

You don’t go to the game; he’d never invited you to and you were still too stuck on how to co-exist within this space without crossing boundaries that it never even occurred to you to ask instead, but that doesn’t stop you from watching from the couch. The sweater you wear is old, nearly a decade old in fact, a souvenir from the first year you’d known Kevin. It’s a Boston College hoodie, the maroon and gold lettering long since faded, something you’d borrowed from him when you were still ‘just friends’ and hadn’t ever given back. Not even when you left him.

The game is a good one, you think, even though you’ve only got eyes for number thirteen. Some time between the first and second periods, you’d cracked a bottle of wine, and by the time Kevin comes home, you’re well on your way to downing a second bottle. It’s late, and if you’d been sleeping you’re certain you would have woken up from the sound of him bustling through the door.

“Jesus, you didn’t drive here did you?” you snap as he trips over his own discarded loafers.

“Ubered,” he shrugs, before he’s lighting up with a grin. “You really do care.”

“Of course I care, Kev,” you reply earnestly, and all traces of laughter are gone immediately from his face. There’s a tension then, and you’re not sure if it rests in the weight of your words and their implication, or if the tension has existed here all along. Truthfully it’s likely a mix of the two, but you don’t dwell on it as you lift from your spot on the couch and approach him. There’s no mistaking the look in his eyes as he takes in the sweater you’re wearing, his old number on the sleeve.

The stubble on his cheek looks so inviting to your tipsy mind, your fingertips flexing with your desire to cup his jaw. You come together, then, unsure of who exactly took the first step forward. It doesn’t really matter though, not with your entire being caged within his arms. It’s gentler than you can remember ever being with Kevin before, almost as if you’re both parcels stamped ‘fragile, handle with care’ and one wrong move will result in pieces of shattered glass on the hardwood floor. It’s intimate and warm and comforting, your head pressed against his chest, like not a single other thing matters in the world.

As you pull apart you press a chaste kiss to his adams apple where the top button of his shirt has been undone. It’s like something is set off within you from just that simple touch, as you suddenly feel the urge to kiss every inch of his skin. Slowly and methodically, you unbutton the rest of the way down, kissing the newly revealed flesh after every one comes undone. It’s gentle and reverent, the way you practically worship at the altar of his body.

He lets you do it without any sort of protest or movement, hands awkwardly dropped at his sides until you reach the last button and pull the bottom of his shirt to untuck it. It’s like something has awoken in him too, as he reaches for you, pulling you up to him where he’s leaned in as well. One hand cups your cheek, thumb gently rubbing at your cheekbone, while the other tangles in your hair as your lips meet. He tastes like beer and honey, and on anyone else it would be a strange combination, but you can’t get enough of it even as your hands slide his shirt off his shoulders.

As the garment drops to the floor, Kevin’s reaching for your sweatshirt, calloused fingertips brushing against your skin as he helps you take it off, the kiss breaking for only the time it takes for the offending item to leave your body. From there he walks you to his bedroom with practiced ease, and if his tongue hadn’t been down your throat, you might have allowed yourself to wallow in the hurt that comes with the knowledge of how he’d gotten all that practice.

As it stands, you can barely remember your own name, so caught up in the feel of his bare chest and the gentle roll of his hips against your own.

You’re overcome with emotion when he lays you down so gently, so carefully, against the sheets of his unmade bed. His kiss is soft and sweet, but yet still so inexplicably heavy you feel it all over your body. He’s gentle still as he makes his way down your body, ridding you of your leggings and underwear and settling between your thighs.

There’s a reverent look on his eyes as he presses gentle kisses from your knee to your inner thigh, and you can’t help the way his name falls from your lips, pleading. He smiles up at you then, a tender grin on his face as he says, “Yeah, baby, I know what you need.” And he does, finally pressing his mouth to the ache between your thighs. You sigh contently, the feeling one you’d sorely missed all these months, curling one hand into the hair atop his head and lacing the other with his fingers on your hip.

He coaxes you through one gentle orgasm and then another, humming and moaning against you in clear pleasure, asking and pleading for you to ‘give him one more’.

When he pulls back from your body, chin gleaming and chest heaving, you instinctively begin to turn onto your stomach, into his favorite position to have you in. He stops you, one hand sliding to cup your chin as he presses his lips to yours solidly, “Wanna see you.”

It sends a rush of longing through you, and so you settle further into his pillows, wrapping your arms around him and reeling him in. It’s a stretch as he fills you, little whines escaping your lips until he’s fully sheathed within you. You’d be content to lie here forever like this with him, but moments later he’s pulling your leg to wrap around his waist while he slowly begins to move.

There’s a moment, though, of almost full clarity as your hands tangle in his hair while your head is thrown back. He pauses, eyes boring into your very soul, open mouths doing nothing but passing air into each other’s lungs. He’s not moving but you feel him, every inch of his body and mind and love and it’s everything you could never say, every word you likely never would. It’s everything and he’s everything and you never want the moment to end.

It does, with a flex of his hips and your nails scratching at his scalp, his chain hovering and dragging over your breasts as you find salvation together. “You were fuckin’ made for me,” he groans into the skin of your neck, kissing and sucking and biting.

You fall asleep in his arms, sweaty and tired and content in a way you’ve been a thousand times before, the way it should always be.

-

The harsh morning rays of the sun tell a different story. You come into consciousness with the feeling of being completely encapsulated by another’s warmth. On instinct, you press back against his still naked body, preening as his arm tightens around your waist in return.

Until you remember this isn’t your bed or your home and the man asleep next to you isn’t your fiancé anymore. Guilt and shame and self-loathing bubble in your gut as the harsh realization settles in. It descends into panic as you try to plot your way out of the hole you dug with your bare hands.

It all only worsens as Kevin begins to stir, a mumbled ‘morning’ in your ear that you feel like a buzz of electricity down your spine. It would be so easy to lean back into the warmth of his body, the comforting weight of his hands, the soft press of his lips to your skin.

But none of that is yours to want anymore.

Kevin’s more than a little disoriented, as sleep lets him shake free of her clutches, he comes to a few realizations of his own. You’re here, in this bed you’d once shared. Your naked frame is pressed to his own and the scent of your shampoo is everywhere. For the briefest of moments he lets himself hope, lets himself believe that this is the moment he’s been waiting for, the one where you come home to him and you stay. In this bed, in these sheets, in this home. But you’re not replying to his morning greeting, and then you’re pulling from his embrace, movements jilted and awkward and hurried. “What-”

“This was a mistake,” you blurt out, hopping back into your pants and eyes frantically searching for your shirt. The memory of your sweatshirt hitting the ground in the kitchen has you squeezing your eyes shut for a moment before you’re slipping on a hoodie of his that was lying on the chair.

He sits up in bed, the sheet falling to pool at his waist and you have to force your eyes to remain above his shoulders. Truthfully, it’s not that difficult considering your eyes are focused on the wall behind him. He’s a little defensive, and a lot indignant as he all but asks you to repeat yourself. “A mistake? You’re gonna call this a mistake?”

“Yes, a mistake. You were just lonely and horny and that’s my fault because I've just been hanging around here like your shadow.” It’s the best you can come up with, some half-cocked explanation with more holes in it than a screen door. It’s flimsy like one too, rattling in the wind that is Kevin’s anger.

He gets up, slipping on a pair of underwear and stalking towards you with an unreadable look in his eye. “Horny and lonely? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Horny and lonely, Kevin. And- And if you need me to leave the house so you can pick up, I can do that or- or I’ll stay in my room and-“

“What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t want to ‘pick up’.” He sounds disgusted with the idea, disgusted with the way you’re talking right now but you can’t stop yourself.

“Well clearly you should be, there’s no other explanation for last night.” You’re doubling down on your bullshit, unwilling and unable to listen to the voice inside of you that is screaming your love for him. It had been long buried, tucked beneath the hurt and the sadness and the anger, but last night had brought it to the surface. Everything about Kevin is so drawing to you, from the soft warmth of his body to the hard expression on his face, but you swallow it down.

“No other explanation?” He shakes his head in disbelief, the image of you in bed next to him quickly lighting up in flames, pooling into ash at his feet. “Tell me the fucking truth.”

You inhale sharply and he knows he’s hit his mark. It’s satisfying, the way he cuts through your bullshit, but the satisfaction doesn’t last. Because while he’s thinking about everything that could go right, you’re still hung up on everything that went wrong. On the last few months of your relationship, but especially on that final fight that nailed the very last nail in the coffin.

For a minute you’re back in this house, a few rooms over, a little younger.

“I don’t know what I want to do!” you shout, dragging your hands down your face. The argument isn’t a new one, in fact it’s been a recurring disagreement, ever since you were first put forward for the promotion. It’s kind of a big deal - a leadership position at your age is almost unheard of, but it was your name put forward, and your position to accept.

“I think you do, I think you’re just too much of a coward to say it out loud. There’s two choices here, baby,” the way the pet name leaves his lips is a mockery of the syllables, the frustration and the anger that’s been building for months finally coming to a head, “either you stay with me, or you take the job and go. We both know what you’re going to choose.”

You can’t help the way you go immediately on the attack, the fear of losing everything before you so great, it’s got you completely and wholly irrational. “I can’t just sit around here and raise your babies and post on instagram and have a stupid lifestyle blog. I’m sorry that I can’t be the perfect wife and go to all of your home games and decorate stupid jean jackets.”

It’s not what he’s asking you to do, not really. He’s asking for you to finally make a decision and stick to it. He knows and you know and everyone else around you knows that this is the fork in the road of your relationship. His schedule is insane enough, there’s no way you’ll be able to handle a long distance relationship. It’s less than 100 miles between your front door and New York, but it might as well be oceans away with how little you’ll see each other. And he knows, he knows this is an amazing opportunity for you, a once in a lifetime shot, and though he wants to beg you to stay, he knows he needs to let you go. He loves you more than he cares for himself and he wants your every dream to come true. Above everything, he knows you need to go to New York and you need to take this opportunity and you need to leave him behind.

He knows all this, and yet it still stings as you all but tell him you don’t want to have his children. Kev’s wanted to be a dad for as long as he can remember, and he’s wanted you to be their mom for as long as he’s known you. For the better part of a decade, he’s pictured babies, and he’s pictured you loving them and holding them and raising them. He’s pictured half of you and all the best parts of himself together. It’s a dream he’s slowly been letting go of in the time that’s passed since you first brought up the promotion, but to have it so neatly and completely taken from him is staggering.

“I never asked you for any of those things,” he argues, one hand gripping at the curls at the top of his head. “I know you’re driven and I know you’re smarter than me or anyone I know. And that’s why I know you’re going to take this job and you’re going to leave me. I want you to have everything that you want.”

“But what if what I want is you?” You’re hysterical now, though this is not a new argument, it’s never reached these levels before. You feel it, deep in your bones that this is it, that this is the end of something beautiful and magical. The relationship is slipping through your fingers, grains of sand falling and falling and falling until your hourglass is tipped over and empty.

“It’s not,” he says simply. “It’s not enough.”

There’s a final note in his voice and you know he’s not going to change his mind and you know you’re not either. Because truthfully, you were probably always going to pick the job and the future. You’d just hoped that the two of you could find compromise along the way. Although a large part of you always knew it wasn’t meant to last, that you would never be the kind of girl who was good enough to marry the likes of Kevin Hayes. No matter how much you loved him, nothing would ever change the fact that you didn’t have the look or the lifestyle or the wealthy family to fall back on. You knew that he would grow to resent all the things that once made him fall in love with you, that your contrarian ways and your ego and your goals and aspirations made you incompatible with the WAG life. You knew that when he said it wasn’t enough, he really meant you.

You don’t compromise; you accept the position and move out two weeks later.

And then you’re back here, a little older, a little wiser. And so you shake your head, backing away slowly. “It doesn’t fucking matter, Kevin. Okay? It doesn’t fucking matter because I’m still me and you’re still you and you told me that it wasn’t enough. Okay? So it doesn’t matter.” He goes to follow you but you put your hand out in an attempt to keep the distance, “Don’t. Okay? Don’t. I’ll give you your sweater back, I promise, but I need some space.”

“Okay,” his voice shakes as he speaks, “Have your space, but please come home.”

#nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #kevin hayes fic #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes imagines #kevin hayes x reader #shelb writes

[ilyasorokinn]

peppering their face in kisses and giggly cuddles with kevin hayes ? 🥺 thank you, babes<3

5. "giggly cuddles" 19. "peppering their face in kisses" (from this prompt list)

the only difference between morning-kevin and night-kevin was he was more clingy than usual. he would hold you, hostage, in bed before you absolutely had to go.

this morning was no different. you were both awake, and he had you wrapped up in his arms like a vice, unrelenting and unwilling to let you go.

"dude, i gotta go." you laughed, trying to pull away.

"i'm not letting you go, dude." he peppered kisses across your face and neck.

"stop," you giggled, trying to pull away from him.

"never." he peppered more kisses on your neck, tickling your neck with his beard.

"kevin..." you spoke more firmly. he pulled away with a pout.

"i don't want you to leave me."

"i'll be back later. i'm only working a half-day." you reminded him.

"that's too long." he shook his head, wrapping his arms around you tighter.

"i love you." you kissed his head.

"i love you, too." he continued to pout.

eventually, kevin let you up (after a lot of begging and some deal-making), and you quickly ran around your home, rushing to get ready.

later that afternoon, true to our word, you walked back through the doors to your home and were immediately engulfed in a hug.

"i was only gone for a few hours," you mumbled.

"a few hours too long." kevin smiled happily, "now we can spend the entire day together."

"we do this anyway."

"you know, i'm trying to do something nice." he joked.

taylor's night of neglect!

#kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes imagines #kevin hayes #kevin hayes blurbs #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fic #nhl blurbs #nhl #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fic #hockey blurbs #hockey #philadelphia flyers imagine #philadelphia flyers imagines #philadelphia flyers blurbs #philadelphia flyers fic #philadephia flyers #taylor writes #taylor writes: hockey #taylor's blurbs #taylor's prompt lists #taylor's night of neglect #night of neglect

[sunshinefarabees]

love drunk (j.f)

pairing: joel farabee x reader + best friend!kevin hayes 

words: 4.0k 

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bars, kissing, and ofc teasing by friends

author’s note: hi hello! i apologize for any errors as i’m eighteen and have never drank/gone go a bar before:) thanks, besties. also special tags to @joelsfarabees (helped me come up with the idea), @huggybug , @cartahhart79 , @quietblues , @ethancale , and @1-800-iluvhockey for encouraging + proofreading + and giving me ideas. and ofc @fiveminutesforfarabee for throwing hc’s about bf!joel with me to go back on for this fic. this wouldn’t have become a thing without any of you- i love you all forever<3 and @bitchinbarzal because i said i would tag you<3 your ig edits are immaculate

 the fluorescent lights from the dance floor bounced off the blue swirls of the bar counter. it felt cool against your forearms compared to the warmth and humidity of the club- sweaty bodies smashed together, laughing as they downed drink after drink as if it was water. your eyes met the rim of your glass, filled with some alcoholic beverage that you had ordered half an hour ago. the ice was slowly watering it down, not that it mattered, as you honestly weren’t that interested in it.

your gaze broke from the glass as suddenly an arm found its way around your shoulders. you flinched slightly before relaxing into the familiar feel of kevin hayes. his cologne smelled of sandalwood and lavender, something that was unique to him.

“fuck yeah! y/nnnn!” he slurred, pulling you closer as he swayed side to side, “where’s your lover boy, bestie?” 

you chuckled, softly pushing him into the wooden stool next to you, “he’s not my lover boy, kev, he’s over there chatting with teeks and ratty.”

of course, kevin was talking about joel. you and joel had met several months ago from mutual friends, kevin being one of them. the moment you had met him, his honey pooled eyes, goofy smile, and just the amount of calm he brought to a room stole your heart. however, you knew that the gorgeous hunk of man was so obviously out of your league. joel was a national hockey league player with a bright future and a huge heart; someone you felt would never be interested in you.

“fuck that! you want him to be!” kevin giggled, as he poked your knees repeatedly with his finger. “i think that fucker likessss you!” 

you snorted, “yeah okay, hayesy. whatever you say, dude.” you slipped your drink, grimacing at the slight burn of the watered-down alcohol. you knew kevin was drunk, but your heart ached to believe that maybe, just maybe, joel would feel the same way about you. 

“shit- can- can i tell you a secret?” kevin hiccuped, a mischievous grin dancing across his face. 

“sure, kev. what’s up, buddy?” you motioned for the bartender, mouthing water, pointing at the 6’5 drunk next to you. 

the bartender chuckled, sliding you a glass as kevin continued.

“i-i know something about beezer that you don’t!” 

“i’m sure you know a lot of things about joel that i don’t.” you passed him the water, satisfied as he downed half of it in one gulp, the large bar glass looking small in his hand.

“no, no-“ he coughed, placing the glass back on the bar counter, “fuck- i mean- he likes you! shit- you’re all he fucking talks about during practice and games. god, he never shuts the fuck up about you, y/n/n!” he was giggling like a schoolgirl, too out of it to notice how red your face had become. “hold on, i’m gonna go get another fucking drink! byeee y/n/n! i looove you, bestie!” kevin gave you a half squeeze before wandering in a random direction.

watching him walk away, you felt your heart start to race. what the hell was kevin talking about? joel? have feelings for ME? you thought, yeah okay. out of habit, your eyes wandered to where joel was standing with travis, oskar, and isaac. his head was thrown back, bouts of laughter escaping his lips, which of course hid his teeth. he was dressed in a white collared shirt, the first few buttons undone with black jeans. his chest was in full view, his gold chain glistening against the vibrant lights of the club. your eyes followed his arms to his hands, the left one holding a beer while the right moved as he talked. 

your eyes closed as you pursed your lips, butterflies filling your stomach. he looked incredible. opening your eyes again, you saw a new addition coming to joel’s presence. kevin. 

you chuckled as he stumbled into joel, grinning as he did so. you sipped your drink again, watching the five interact. however, you choked as kevin pointed at you, joel’s eyes finding yours. 

attempting to regain your composure, you offered a smile and a tiny wave that joel returned before turning back to his friends. you watched kevin babble to them and point in your direction before he started heading over to you again. 

“yes, hollywood? how may i be of service?” you sipped your drink, attempting to mask the anxiety of whatever shenanigans he was up to as he approached.

“need you to come with me-“ he slung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you with him. “it’s important, bestie.” 

“christ- okay. hold on, buddy.” you laid a bill on the counter, paying for the drink you had barely touched as you grabbed the rest of your things. “okay, now, where are we going?”

kevin gave you a mischievous grin, “i’m being your fucking wingman!” 

you sputtered, confused as he led you across the room, “w-what? what the hell are you talking about?”

“just trust me, babe- shit’s going to be great.” 

you groaned, “kevin- you’re way too drunk for this!”

he scoffed, “actually, y/n/n, i drank water, remember? i’m cool as a damn cucumber.”

“yeah- and you went for a drink afterward, remember?” you mocked him, “besides- when the hell do you ever say you’re-“ you were cut off abruptly when you came to a screeching halt. a few feet away stood the same man you were admiring from the bar moments ago. joel. 

“now here’s the plan-“

“plan?” your head whipped over to kevin bewildered, “what?”

“the plan for you to admit to joel you-“ he started, but you slapped your hand over his mouth. 

“no. he’s-“ you ran your hand through your hair before pulling the 6’5 giant outside of the bar. as you gently made your way through the friday bar crowd, you could feel yourself spiraling. sure, kevin did know joel better than you, but joel liking you? you had gone through endless scenes where you confessed to him, but none of them ever resulted in what you wanted: reciprocated feelings- much less a relationship.

your thoughts broke as you opened the bar doors; the february air nipped at your arms, and the absence of a coat caused you to shiver.

“listen, i appreciate you. i do. you’re a great person and friend- and maybe an even better hockey player, but i’m not telling joel anything.”

he scrunched his face in confusion, his blue eyes searching your face for an answer, “what? why?” 

you turned your head away from him, biting the inside of your cheeks harshly, struggling to find the words you wanted to say. the street was lit up by streetlights, apartments, and businesses that were strangely still open at midnight. 

“kevin-“ you sighed, “he’s out of my league. he plays in the NATIONAL hockey league. he’s gorgeous, intelligent, funny… he could have anyone he wants- not me. i know what you said earlier, but… there’s no way he’s talking about me. you’re hardly present, dude.” 

kevin’s face softened, “y/n…” he blinked his eyes a few times before putting a comforting hand on your shoulder, “listen, i know i’m fucking drunk right now, but you should hear him talk about you. not anyone else. you. he’s fucking like- god, i’m going to ruin his chances because i’m fucking-“ he groaned, “y/n/n, he’s whipped for you. i’ve never seen him like this- we’re all sick of him. you’ve gotta talk to him- i know you like him too.”

your heart was hammering in your chest again. joel? liking you back? it felt like a dream. you felt so giddy as if you could do anything- which could be kevin’s second confession or the decent amount of alcohol in your system. “are you messing with me?”

he shook his head rapidly, “i mean every word, dude.”

you rubbed your hands on the scratchy, black material of your jeans, the anxiety and giddiness mixing in all at once. “okay.”

“huh?” kevin scrunched his face in confusion. 

“be my wingman.” 

he squealed (which honestly threw you off a bit, seeing as you didn’t know such a sound could come from someone that tall), “y/n, everything’s going to be great. here’s the plan.”

——

you had never felt this nervous in your life. your hands were clammy; you kept wiping them off on your black jeans to no avail. 

kevin’s hand was resting gently in the middle of your back, rubbing small circles, attempting to at least relax you a bit. he had already given you two shots of tequila for confidence, but they didn’t seem to be working as you both walked closer to the high table where joel, isaac, travis, and oskar sat. you could hear joel’s laugh from a mile away, causing butterflies to build in your stomach.

“hey, guys!” kevin grinned, “look who i found!” 

all four men offered hellos, immediately including you in the conversation of doors versus wheels. you were only half paying attention, your full attention being on joel. his brown eyes were concentrated as he discussed and took the side of doors, which made you accidentally snort in laughter. 

joel turned to you, a smirk dancing across his face, “you’ve got something to say, hm?”

“no-“ you grinned, chuckling, “it’s just obviously wheels.”

travis immediately signaled a high five, which you reciprocated. “thank you! someone with sense. i’ve been struggling with these guys forever!” his own brown eyes twinkled, seeming to grin as much as his mouth did.

“oh shut up, teeks. it’s totally doors.” isaac groaned, taking a sip of his beer, his other arm resting on the edge of the table. 

“it’s fuckin’ wheels! office chairs, stupid.” kevin piped up, beaming as you and travis both high-fived him. 

joel, noticing a particular blonde was quiet, nudged his head towards oskar. “osky, baby, what’s on your mind?“ 

oskar set his beer down with a soft smile, “i have my thoughts, but you guys are more entertaining to watch.” 

the conversation continued, laughter and teasing erupting often. by the time kevin beckoned for travis, isaac, and oskar to follow him for more drinks (not before he sent a wink your way and mouthing go), it was only joel with the opinion of doors. 

“i can’t believe after all that evidence you’re still saying doors!” you exclaimed, joel throwing his head back in laughter. 

“maybe i’m just saying it to see your reaction,” he smirked, lifting his beer to his lips, swallowing what was left.

you glared at him, slightly kicking him under the table, “farabee, you’re a menace.”

“says you! you’re kicking me!” he teased, slightly kicking you back.

“you’re a hockey player!” you retorted, “you feel nothing in your calves!” 

joel fake gasped, “how rude of you to assume they feel nothing!”

“beezer, you get hit with high sticks, slashes, and pucks on a regular basis. my size seven foot isn’t doing anything to you.” 

he stuck his tongue out at you as you laughed. the energy around you felt electric. music blared over the speakers as you both got lost in conversation. 

as you felt joel’s fingertips creep against your own, the familiar chords of paper rings by taylor swift caused you to break out in a grin. 

“cmon farabee- you have to dance with me!” you closed the distance, grasping his hand and slipped out of the tall, wooden chair. 

joel‘s face reddened as the quick source of contact, letting you lead the way. “but babe!” he whined, “i can’t dance!”

the nickname caused your face to do the same as you pulled him onto the dance floor. “who cares?”

in response, he gave you a nervous smile before spinning you around. his white shirt opened revealing more of his chest and chain. 

“see? you’re doing great!” your eyes found his, trying not to stare at his neck as you gave him a reassuring smile. 

you both danced a while, laughing as the other stumbled a little. the room around you melted again. it didn’t matter to joel that it was late and he had an early practice tomorrow. nor did it matter to you that here you were, dancing the night away while you had a final paper to work on. the bodies around you seemed to disappear. the budding chemistry that had shied away during the first months of friendship had now come with full force. not that either of you would admit it to each other in the moment, but this felt different. 

little did you know, joel felt dizzy. having your hands wrapped around his? he felt like he was dreaming. his eyes kept finding your lips, which was engulfed in a smile at him each time. joel could hardly keep his rhythm, too infatuated with you. 

song after song played, before finally settling on a slow one. 

“may i?” joel’s hands softly found their way to your waist, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. 

you gave him a soft nod as your hands found their way to his neck.

a comfortable silence fell over the two of you. moments passed before the melody of joel’s sweet compliments fell upon your ears. “you look so beautiful, you know.” he muttered, continuing to gently sway your bodies back and forth.

your cheeks reddened, his voice echoing in your head just as the feeling of his hands that rested near your belt loops started to sink in. “i was- i was just thinking the same about you.” your voice came out softer than you intended, as your fingers gently started playing with the ends of his hair, attempting to test the waters. the boundaries of this dance- of whatever this was- were unclear. sure, kevin had told you joel had liked you. sure, this seemed pretty romantic with the whole slow dancing and being called babe. however, everything was still unsaid which increased your anxiousness of the whole situation.

noticing your apprehension, joel sent you a soft smile and a gentle nod, letting you know it was okay. 

in comfortable silence, you both danced together. it felt nice to just be with joel. having the same friends as well as being friends, everything felt chaotic. but here and now? though the music was loud, being connected with simple touches was exhilarating in the calmest way. 

“hey,” joel mumbled after the song ended, “it’s getting late. do you need a ride home?” his fingers gently slipped under your shirt, rubbing gentle circles in your sides, still swaying. 

“no, no. i’m okay. kev was my-“ you cut yourself off, your face scrunching in confusion as the realization hit you, “what the hell happened to our friends?”

he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, “no clue- kinda glad they disappeared though- nice to be with just you, y/n/n.” 

you felt your face heating up as you hid in his shoulder, “shut up, farabee.” 

a laugh echoed through his lips, his chest vibrating with the sound, “sorry, y/n.”

the comfort yet excitement you found in the moment made you dizzy. the buzz of the alcohol faded, but the buzz of joel was building. HIS hands on your sides; HIS chest against your face. you were on fire. your skin felt hot as you slowly looked up at him, his hand finding your face. 

time felt slow as you watched his eyes glance at your lips as you glanced at his until you found his eyes again. 

joel’s pupils were blown and only focused on you. 

“can… can i kiss you?” he whispered, eyes scanning your face for any signs of discomfort.

you nodded, a gentle smile taking over as he finally pressed his lips against yours.

the feeling of joel’s lips on yours was electrifying. it felt like fireworks were exploding in every nerve of your body.  if this were the princess diaries or some older film, you’d have the foot pop. you never wanted it to end.

——

you and joel kissed for a long time, his gentle lip bites and face holding drove you crazy in the best way. fireworks still gently exploded throughout your veins, and the feeling of his face against your palms made you feel dizzy.

when he did finally pull away, cheers and whoops exploded from the booth behind you, causing you to whip around to find the culprits. meanwhile, joel’s arm found its way protectively around your waist- pulling you closer.

kevin, oskar, travis, and isaac had begun to all high-five each other.  

“fucking finally, dude!” a huge grin covered kevin’s face as he barreled over, crushing you both into a hug. “i’m so glad this is finally out in the open. you guys are fuckin’ perfect for each other!”

“i had to get the right moment!” joel replied, “this is the one that matters, kev! i couldn’t just wing this shit.” 

a huge smile covered your face as the words left his mouth. “one that matters, huh?”

realizing what he said, joel’s eyes met the tiled floor as he blushed with a soft smile, “well… yeah. it’s you.”

although the club was loud, a comfortable silence fell over the six of you. though neither you or joel knew it, the peace that your friends felt for you was immediate. they knew how much you liked each other from the beginning. it was the small things. it was oskar that first started noticing the small stares joel would give you from across the room. it was isaac that noticed how different joel would act when you were around- even before you met- back when you were just kevin’s friend. it was travis that noticed how your eyes seemed to gloss over when you and joel were properly introduced to each other. finally, though, it was kevin who pieced together that the person joel was whining and going on about was you- his best friend. 

“joel, next time, maybe try not to wait six months to ask them out.” travis chirped, earning a glare from the man in question. 

you blushed, kissing his shoulder, “six months?” you teased, giving his hand a gentle squeeze for reassurance.

pretending not to hear you, joel sent you a sheepish smile, “so… do you still want me to drive you home?” his arm still wrapped around your waist. 

you chuckled, noticing his change in demeanor, “i do, is that okay?”

“yeah, y/n/n! cmon. i’ll drive you home, yeah?” joel’s lips found the crown of your head, sending the boys a wave, ignoring the teases they sent your way.

as you both started to make your way out, your eyes found kevin’s as he gave you a thumbs up. you mouthed thank you, watching as he shook his head with a smile.

turning back as joel opened the door for you, your hand found his. “i had a great time tonight.”

his calloused fingers, though rough, felt soothing against the top of your knuckles as you both walked. “me too. i’ve wanted to do that for so long.” he admitted, “i just never thought in a million years that you’d like me back.” 

screeching to a halt, your head whipped around to face him bewildered. “what? you- joel? are you serious?” 

he chuckled at your reaction, gently pulling you to walk again, but stopping when he realized you were serious. “well… yeah. most people only like me for my money. you aren’t like that. you’re going to college- you could have anyone you want. i’m just a hockey player. i never finished school. sure, i have a career that i’m somewhat successful in, but i mean- i don’t have a degree. this ends in what? twenty years? that’s not stability. don’t get me wrong, i love the game. i wouldn’t change my life for anything- this is a dream and i’m so grateful for all the opportunities i have. but for you? you deserve someone with an education- someone who can provide for you and be home for you all the time. you and kevin are close, you know what it’s like. i just… i never thought that you would downgrade your options for someone like me.”

you felt yourself start to spiral. the facts that joel firstly, liked you first, and secondly, didn’t think he was good enough for you hit you like a truck. the same man that you had been crushing on for months and sneaking glances at from afar thought he wasn’t good enough for YOU. 

“joel- what? how could-“ you were sputtering, struggling to find the right words to say. “how could you even think that? i’m not trying to be invalidating, but you’re… you. you’re becoming one of the best hockey players in the league. you were drafted at eighteen. g said you were going to beat all of his records- not just anyone, but claude giroux said that to you. you have the biggest heart of anyone i know. you’re constantly putting your all into the game and life. joel, no offense, you could be working at wawa and I wouldn't give a shit. i like you because you’re you- not because of your career or how much money you make. you’re an incredible human being, joel farabee. i never want to hear you say any different.” you finished, slightly out of breath.

joel just stared at you, his mouth slightly agape. 

“alright. now that that’s taken care of, c'mon. i’m tired.” you grabbed his hand, pulling him to his car that sat a few feet away. 

wordlessly, he opened the car door for you as he unlocked it, still in a daze. you watched as he got into the driver’s seat before he turned to you. 

“that was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. thank you for believing in me.” joel sent you a toothless smile, before starting the car.

the ride to your apartment was quiet besides the gentle hum of the radio and the beating of your heart as his hand found yours. 

as he pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex, he parked the car wordlessly before jogging over to open your door for you. 

“what a gentleman.” you giggled, as you took his hand. 

“only for the best.” joel smiled as he shut the car door behind you. 

hand in hand, you both started the walk to the elevator. of course, joel held open every door for you- excluding the elevator button as he remembered how kevin said you loved to do so. the elevator ride was also silent, the two of you simply buzzing from the effects of each other. 

as the elevator reached your floor, your smile fell a little, knowing that your time with joel was almost to an end. before you knew it, you were face to face with your door. 

“so… i had a great time tonight,” you said, breaking the silence, and pressing a gentle kiss against his cheek.

“me too.” he grinned at you as you pressed another kiss to his nose. “maybe we could… do it again, sometime? just us?”

you exhaled, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “yeah… i’d love that. i’d really love that.”

“great. tomorrow at seven?”

“that’s perfect.” 

joel couldn’t stop smiling and neither could you. his right hand gently raised to your face, holding it gingerly as he gently leaned in.

your heart was racing, even if you both had just made out an hour prior. just like before, fireworks were exploding in every nerve in your body as his lips touched yours. you felt like you were floating. 

the kiss seemed to be too short as he softly pulled away, “i’ll see you at seven. goodnight, baby.” giving your hand a squeeze, he waved as you went inside your apartment.

you slid against the door, a blush covering your cheeks. you couldn’t believe that joel had just kissed you. you felt so giddy. 

you fished your phone out of your pocket and immediately sent a text to kevin.

to kevin mccallister 🏒: i owe you one. thank you so much<3 guess who has a date tomorrow @ 7 !! spoiler- me 😌

as if on cue, your phone dinged. confused as kevin never replies that fast, you looked at your phone again, immediately breaking out in a smile.

from joel 🥰: you’re an absolute dream. just left and i can’t get enough of you. can’t wait to see you tomorrow💞

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