#kaz: call an ambulance call an ambulance! .... but not for me

[barrel-crow-n]

Kaz: Go big or go home

Inej: I am begging you, just this one time, go home!

Kaz, about to fistfight a whole gang on his own: Imma go big

#AND HE WON #kaz: call an ambulance call an ambulance! .... but not for me #he really beat the crap out of a dozen men huh? #ONE MAN COUP #iconic #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #six of crows #grishaverse #six of crows duology #the dregs #crooked kingdom #incorrect soc quotes

[seasealwaters]

It's just rude how I have yet to see a Now You See Me! Six of Crows AU.

NO BUT WAIT, WAIT. Bear with me. The Crows as illusionists and magicians brought together to create elaborate performances that may or may not be a way to extract revenge on a few people (Jan, Heleen, and Pekka, we're looking at you) and steal a lot of money in the process. The group could be either formed by Kaz himself, or like in the movie, they're brought together by a mysterious individual for a job (in this, it could be Jan to commit the equivalent of the Ice Court Heist, until the Crows turn back on him).

Like. Imagine. Kaz would definitely be an amazing escape artist and the master mind of the operations. He would have the best sleight of hand ever. With his flair for dramatics, I think he would also be a great performer, and have a whole "character" for the show: you know, Dirtyhands, with his all black clothes, raspy voice, dry wit, slight smirk, scary monologues and taunts. He's not even pretending, really, but it works really well on stage, and the public loves it, loves when he's taunting them, and legit creeping them out.

Inej would be into the escape thing as well, and she would love the tricks where she vanishes and then apparates in a different corner of the room, or just behind someone in the audience (they wouldn't even notice until one the Crows points it out or Inej taps them on the shoulder. The number of times they almost had to call an ambulance because she legit gives them heart attacks). I feel like she would also be a contortionist who's able to fit in small boxes and cupboards, to the point where you start to ask yourself if she even has bones. She would incorporate acrobatics in her performances.

Jesper would love flashy tricks with cards, coins, and so on. I know that sleight of hand is more Kaz's thing in the book, but I feel like it would suit him well, too. Kind of like the Jack Wilder of the group. He would do tricks with guns, bullets and shooting, of course. Also, I feel like he would be the one the Crows rely on to distract the crowd, to catch, hold, and redirect their attention where it's needed. Kaz is good at that, too, but Jesper is really the one who can put them at ease and charm them (especially if it's a single person or a few they call on stage).

Wylan would handle technical aspects: light, flash bombs, smoke bombs, fireworks, visual and sound effects, music and sound, material, etc. I think he would know exactly what type of soundtrack and light to choose to create maximum effect and efficiently hold/distract the crowd's attention. I don't see him as a main performer, but I think there would be one memorable occasion where he would "blow himself up" or set fire to himself on stage and then reapparate, completely fine. It remains one of the Crows' most watched performances.

Nina would definitely be the Merritt McKinney of the group. She would be all about hypnosis and mentalism, and I know that real-life hypnotism doesn't work like it's portrayed in the movie, but let's just pretend. With her knowledge of anatomy and medicine (she could be an ex med student or nurse), she would know exactly how to use the human body, mind, and blood flow to her advantage – it would be a nice parallel to her canon powers. She knows how to gather information from her targets, is amazing at subtle interrogation, and she, too, would be very good at charming the crowd (her and Jesper as a the sexiest bi duo ever). Also, I think she would fight tooth and nail to incorporate a dramatic quick change sequence on stage. ("Nina, we don't need that." "Shut up, Kaz, you don't understand, I have been waiting my entire LIFE for this moment").

I admit, I have trouble deciding what Matthias would do in this universe. Like Wylan, I don't see him as a main performer, I think he would remain more in the shadows and act as an assistant to the others (catching Inej, helping Nina change, setting Wylan's material, etc.). If the Crows need animals for their show, he's definitely the one to take care of them. However, in the books, he is our guys' main source of information on the Ice Court, and I feel like in a modern au, he would parallel this: he would be the one tasked with research on the Mark, digging up everything about them, their background, family, habits, the lay outs of a place the Crows intend to rob, etc.

Or alternatively: Matthias is their inside man in the FBI. This would work even better, I think. So yes, he's the Dylan Rhodes of the AU, minus the revenge.

Feel free to add anything if you have other ideas!

#six of crows #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #the crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #now you see me #now you see me au #jack wilder #merritt mckinney #dylan rhodes #i love these movies so much #illusionists au #magicians au #jan van eck #pekka rollins #nysm #nysm!au

[celestial-sword-kaz]

What's up with Kaz lately

Besides taking a while to find time to work on changing my username in places I still used old ones (often can't get online or else feel too tired to work on it), had some heavy stuff happen last month. My dad, who besides being one of my biggest supporters of my love of cosplay and my passion for gaming, has been struggling for some time from losing a leg a few years ago. He loves going out for walks & traveling, and using a prosthetic leg was hard on him. In June he got some weird infection on his remaining foot, but instead of going to see a doctor immediately to deal with it, he unwisely stayed at home and the infection got worse until finally my mother couldn't handle his stubbornness any further & called an ambulance to get help. He was doing okay for a while in the hospital after they treated him & performed surgery to remove his big toe (where the infection started), and was fine aside from sounding goofy on the phone from meds making him act high (better than being in pain). But early on the morning of July 6th, only an hour after being checked on by a nurse and seeming fine, my dad passed away suddenly. The hospital did their best to try to revive him, yet sadly they were too late. T_T Going to miss him terribly and already do, because he was my first best friend and we'd had many adventures together... even if just walking to the convenience store to get a soda as an excuse to have time to talk to each other about anything on our minds. He was the reason I got more into cosplay when my interest started waning, thanks to his encouragement & letting me borrow his own cosplay (FF9 Black Mage, inspired by the ones you fought in the game) for a local cosplay meetup, which led to me making a lot of dear friends and becoming better connected to the community. As me and my family deal with debts and other issues resulting from our loss, I'm moving forward holding close the happy memories of my dad and hoping that I can possibly obtain the same amount of zeal that he'd had for life, indulging in creativity, and having fun...

#rl stuff #irl stuff #cosplay #rl drama #Final Fantasy 9 #FF9 #FFIX #Final Fantasy IX

[theboysfromaustin]

This story contains extended scenes involving death and grieving. Fair warning.

----

July 1, 2024

"Grandpa Ian!  Get it!" Ian laughed, stumbling slightly as he dove to catch the Frisbee, before winging it at Gav.  They were all out at Zilker Park, basking in the July heat.  Kazuo took Ian's arm, "You alright?" "Yeah," Ian panted, "Just bloody hot out here, sweet." Kazuo kissed his cheek, going to the blanket to grab him a drink.

Anders and Dermot were lounging on the blanket as Kazuo approached.  "This is nice." "Get in a lot of time together before young Ian starts preschool…" Kazuo popped the drink open with his teeth, "Kid's grown up so much.  It's crazy."  Ian caught the Frisbee again, tossing it back to his grandson.  He stumbled again, regaining his footing, standing stock-still.

He collapsed.

Time stopped.

Everyone froze.

Kazuo reacted first, dropping the drink, "IAN!"  He sprinted over, terrified, dropping to his knees, rolling Ian onto his back, "Guys?  He's not breathing!" He was sobbing now, not wanting to believe this was happening.  Dermot ran up, "Fuck!  I know CPR, let me…" He began chest compressions as Gav called 911.  Anders kept young Ian back.

"C'mon, da….not your time yet…" Dermot gritted his teeth.  Kazuo squeezed Ian's hand, fingers on his wrist.  There was no pulse, and he began to shake, whimpering, "Ian…come back…come back, my love…" Anders pulled his son close, trying not to look.  His knees shook.  Gav finished the call, looking over at Ian.  His eyes were closed, a peaceful look on his face.  He looked like he'd just gone to sleep, and Gav's lower lip quivered, trying to keep his composure.

He couldn't look anymore.  He'd seen enough dead people to know that…that he was gone.  He knelt by Kazuo, hugging him close, "Kaz, honey…" "Gav, help him!  I don't…can't…" "Kazuo, he's…" They were interrupted by the wail of an ambulance and a trio of paramedics, led by a man missing half an ear, with a large scar on his face.  Dermot backed off, letting them take over, loading Ian onto the backboard and onto the stretcher, continuing compressions.

The scarred paramedic turned to the group, "We're taking him to St. David's emergency on 32nd.  You might not be able to see him right away, he's…" He trailed off, before turning, helping load Ian into the ambulance.  Gav helped Kazuo up, the other man clinging to him.  "He's gonna be okay, right?" "Kazuo, he…Ian's…" Gav bit his lip, choosing to let him stay hopeful, "Let's go.  Anders, Dermot…" "We're coming." 

—--

Ian opened his eyes, and found himself sitting back on the grassy hill, surrounded once more by his deceased loved ones, Jeremy leaning on his shoulder.  Ian exhaled softly, "It didn't hurt." "No.  It was very quick." "I miss them already." "I know, honey," Maureen stroked his hair. "I wasn't ready.  I didn’t say goodbye." "I know, baby," his mother touched his cheek.  Ian buried his face in his arms.

His shoulders shook as he began to sob.

—--

Gav stared blankly at the wall of the emergency room, Kazuo's face buried in his chest.  Anders and Dermot sat next to them, young Ian on Anders' lap, crying softly.  Anders looked like someone had hit him.  "Gentlemen?"  A doctor approached, "Please come back."  His expression was neutral as he led them into the back rooms, before turning, sighing, "I'm very sorry, but we were unable to bring him back."

Kazuo fainted.

"Dad!" Anders handed young Ian to Dermot and knelt down, stroking his face as a nurse retrieved smelling salts.  He came to, screaming, "Let me die!  LET ME DIE!" "Kaz!" Gav helped him to his feet, holding him close as he began to sob, "We're here…" "I want to see him.  I need to see him." "Of course," the doctor led them into a private room.  Ian was in a bed, shirt unbuttoned, a blanket pulled up to his chest, arms gently folded.

Kazuo pulled away from Gav, rushing to his side.  He touched Ian's cheek, "Hey…Ian…wake up."  The others filed in behind him.   Anders immediately started hyperventilating, young Ian whimpering.  Dermot put one arm around his husband, "I'm so sorry.  I couldn't help…" "You tried to help.  You tried." Young Ian buried his face in his father's chest, sobbing.  Gav stood, shaking, watching Kazuo.

He leaned forward, kissing Ian, stroking his hair,  "Wake up, honey.  It's time to go home.  Ian. I want to go home." Gav stepped forward, touching Ian's chest, first tracing the gunshot wound scar on the left side, before settling on the center right.  There was no movement.  The heart that had been so noble, so mighty, so full of love was still.

Ian "Iron Hammer" Hewes Mitsuwa-Gabriel was gone.

Gav let out a choking sob, fingers gripping Ian's shirt.  Kazuo looked to him, desperation on his face, "Gav.  Wake him up.  Please." "Gav, I…I can't.  He's gone.  I'm sorry.  Our…our Ian is…" Kazuo stared at him.  He began to shake, lower lip quivering, a fresh stream of tears beginning to spill down his cheek.  He let out a heartstopping wail, collapsing on Ian, shaking with sobs, "NO!  HE'S NOT!  HE CAN'T!  IAN, YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!" He'd bitten his lip, blood beginning to trickle down his chin.

Young Ian was crying harder now, face buried into Dermot's neck.  Dermot had taken Anders' hand, the other man silent, shaking.  "Kazuo…my love…" Kazuo raised his head, grief etched on every inch of his face, "This isn't fair.  He shouldn't be…" Gav pulled him into a tight hug, "I know.  I know." "So why is he?!  I…I…I want to die!  I can't live without him, I haven't repaid him yet!  He saved my life, and I need to….need to…" Kazuo pulled away, wheeling around, fist clenched as he stared at Ian, "So get up! This isn't fucking funny,  Ian!  Get up…get up…get up…"  The sheer desperation in Kazuo’s voice grew as Ian failed to respond, the black-haired man sobbing in frustration and anguish.  He finally raised his head, gaze meeting Anders'.  

Anders.

Ian's son.

"You're his son!  Think of something!  HELP HIM!" Anders lunged forward, grabbing Kazuo in his arms, hugging him tightly, tears streaming down his face, "I'm sorry, dad.  I'm so, so fucking sorry.  He's gone.  Dad's gone."  Kazuo inhaled, letting loose a scream borne of the purest despair.  The doctor approached Dermot, "Does he need an Ativan shot?  We also need to discuss…the arrangements. " Dermot glanced at Gav, who nodded, "Yeah, I think he…he's not going to take it any better than he is now, so…it might help."

Anders pressed his cheek to Kazuo's, both men shaking.  Dermot stepped up to Gav, "I'm going to wait in the lobby.  This probably isn't the best…" Gav nodded, leaning over to kiss his grandson's head, "We love you." The boy whimpered in response, face still buried in Dermot's chest.  A nurse approached with the shot, "Sir, I'm going to give you a shot.  You're going to get very tired."  Kazuo nodded, miserable. He didn't give a shit if it killed him.

Gav sighed, "I'm the executor of his will.  He knew Kazuo wouldn't be in any state to do it.  He wished for a traditional burial, Cook-Walden on Lamar, casket is picked out, he's to be interred at Oakwood Cemetery, he has a plot already.  And…" He glanced at Ian, "Ian wished for Kazuo to have his wedding ring."

Anders watched his father, glad he was able to keep his head and discuss Ian's final wishes.  Kazuo slumped against him, and Anders stroked his face.  Kazuo stared up at him, slipping into sleep.  In his hazy state, all he could see was somebody who looked a lot like Ian, "I love you, Ian…" Anders inhaled shakily.  He looked just like Ian as a young man, and he knew it would hurt his father.  He picked him up, holding him close, still staring at his deceased father, finally reaching out to take his hand, eyes shut.  He'd always been aware of his father's age, but had always hoped that somehow…

He did know that he needed Gav and Kazuo more than ever now - and they needed his family.  They had helped raise him, and Kazuo had been there for him after his parents' death, whether he'd liked it or not at the time.  He had to be there for them.  Gav held Ian's hand, stroking it before gently slipping off the ring.  It was a gold band, inlaid with emeralds, and inscribed with the date Ian and Kazuo had met.  That day…

Gav shut his eyes.  He knew the story.  Kazuo had come to Austin after his grandfather's death, and it had been love at first sight.  Tears rolled down his cheeks as he slipped the ring into his wallet for safekeeping.  "Dad?" He looked up, Anders was cradling Kazuo close, "Yeah?" "I think we should get him home."  The redhead nodded, leaning down to kiss Ian first, "Goodbye, love.  I wish…" He swallowed hard, "I wish you were here."

The doctor saw them out, and they rejoined Dermot.  "Hey, red, I'm gonna help dad Gav get him home and into bed, if you want to follow." Dermot nodded.  Young Ian had cried himself to sleep.  

The drive back was silent, Anders gathering his father back up into his arms.  As he climbed the stairs, he tried not to look at the photos that lined the walls.

Photos of happier times.

He laid Kazuo out in the bed, gently pulling the covers up.  Anders leaned down, kissing his father's forehead gently, "I love you, dad.  I'm sorry."  He turned to Gav, "Dad…" Gav lunged forward, sobbing, "I'm so sorry, I couldn't do anything for him, and I…I owe him so much!" "It's okay.  You did what you could and he knows it." Gav gritted his teeth, "Anders…I'm scared.  I'm so fucking scared.  Kazuo…Kazuo…." 

Anders turned as Dermot stepped into the room, carrying their sleeping son.  The redhead looked drained, tears streaking his face, "Gav…Anders…I tried…I tried so fucking hard, they train us in CPR, and I failed.  I failed, and Ian…I loved your da, Anders.  He protected me, and I…" Anders brought his husband and son into the hug, "It's okay.  He knows you tried.  He loved you.  He loved our son." They stayed like that for several minutes, crying softly.

Gav sniffled, "I don't know what to do." "Look after dad.  Please.  He's going to be so lost…" "I'm terrified he'll do something horrible out of grief." "Be with him.  We'll be with you, too.  Don't leave him alone.  Please protect him from himself." Gav stared at his son, blinking back a fresh set of tears, "I will.  Anders, the second he hit the ground, I knew.  He…he didn't even get to say goodbye.  He didn't know, it was like flipping a switch.  I'm glad he didn't suffer, but maybe it would have been a little bit easier if he'd gotten to say goodbye."

"He was so happy.  He was having a great time, surrounded by us.  I think that's how he would have wanted…"  Kazuo stirred, rolling over with a sigh.  "I hope he's dreaming about him." Gav reached into his wallet, pulling out Ian's ring, "I need a chain for this.  I'm sure he has one."  Anders knelt down, rustling through a bedside drawer, pulling out a silver chain.  Gav attached the ring, and set it on the table.

"The funeral might kill him."

Dermot and Gav looked at Anders.  "It might kill me…losing another dad…I almost had a breakdown when the accident happened and Kazuo…" He crossed his arms, "They were there for me when they took me in.  They loved me, and I hated them at first, and I know that was just me being a shithead teenager, but…I miss him. He was a great dad.  He never got mad…well, maybe a little upset when my friends and I did the bedroom band thing on dad Kazuo's birthday, but…"

Dermot wiped his eyes, "He loved young Ian.  From the moment we brought him here…" "Kazuo always said that Ian loved his family more than being a lawyer.  And you know how much he loved being a lawyer." "He was the best damn lawyer, best damn dad, best damn grandfather…" Anders took Dermot's hand, "We should probably go, get the boy into bed." 

"You'll be here tomorrow…right?" 

Gav's voice was small.  Scared.  "Of course, dad.  We need to…plan," Anders shook slightly as he and Dermot turned, "We'll be here tomorrow,  but…call immediately if you need help."  Gav nodded, turning to look at Kazuo, who slept on.

—--

Kazuo found himself standing in the corridor of a hospital, and he shivered involuntarily.  He hated hospitals.  He didn't know why he was here, so he began walking, peering into several rooms before pulling back another curtain.  His face lit up - Ian was standing there, facing the back wall, "Ian!"

He didn't turn around.

Kazuo approached, "Ian?  Baby?" He placed his hand on Ian's shoulder.  Ian wheeled around.  He was covered in blood, eyes blazing in fury.  Kazuo stepped back - he'd never seen Ian that mad, and the blood….Kazuo swallowed, "What happened?!" "YOU!" Ian thundered, which terrified Kazuo.  Sure, Ian had gotten mad and yelled at him a few times, but nothing on this level.  Ian stormed towards him, chest-to-chest, "I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!  YOU WERE TOO STUPID!  TOO WEAK!  TOO HELPLESS TO HELP ME!" Tears began to stream down Kazuo's face, "I…I…"

Ian struck him in the head, and Kazuo felt his bladder let go from fear - Ian had never hit him before. "YOU FUCKING STUPID, WORTHLESS MISERABLE LITTLE SHIT!  YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED IN THE ACCIDENT!"  He grabbed Kazuo by the throat, lifting him off the ground, choking him.  Kazuo clawed at his throat, eye darting back and forth in desperation, choking out, "I…I love you…" "I hate you," Ian hissed, "Why the fuck did I ever love you?"  Kazuo was blacking out.  Ian's grip tightened, and he lost consciousness.

—--

Kazuo woke with a start, gasping, sitting up in bed, chest heaving.  It was dark outside, and he flinched as light flashed, followed by the rumble of thunder.  He shut his eye, trying to slow his heart.  Another flash, and he glanced at the clock - 10:57 PM.  Then he checked the bed - Gav was next to him. He looked terrible, face pale and drawn, hair messier than normal.  He was shaking, looking distressed, also caught in a terrible dream.

Kazuo blinked back tears.  His heart ached, the bed was empty without Ian there, snoring and drooling, kicking the covers off.  He whimpered, laying back down, wrapping his arm around Gav.  The redhead stirred, "Kaz?" "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "I miss him.  I miss him so fucking much." Gav rolled, embracing him, "I do, too.  He was the best." "Gav," Kazuo blinked back tears, "I had a terrible dream.  I was in a hospital, and I found Ian, covered in blood.  He started yelling, he hit me and choked me.  He told me he hated me, he didn't know why he loved me…that I should have died…"

Gav hugged him tighter, "It was just a bad dream.  He loved us.  He'd never hurt us, you know he gentle he was." Kazuo buried his face in Gav's shoulder, voice muffled, "Do you think it hurt him?" Gav's voice wavered, "No.  It was fast.  He didn't know what happened." "I just wish I could have said goodbye.  I…I never got to say goodbye to my mom, and now Ian…" "He's with your mom now.  With your grandparents, his parents, his brother, Maureen and Shirley…he's with Jeremy.  We'll get to see him again."

"I know.  I still feel like shit." "Yeah…I'm glad he was in our life.  He was the greatest man in the world." "He really was." Gav reached over, groping at the nightstand, fingers hooking the chain, "Kaz, in his will, Ian wanted you to have his ring.  I put it on a chain, so you can wear it close to your heart." Kazuo's lower lip quivered, and he held up his hand, "Can you add my ring to it?"  Gav nodded, slipping the ring off his finger and onto the chain, fastening it around Kazuo's neck.

Kazuo touched the rings, eye shut, a tear working its way down his cheek, "Thank you." "Of course,' Gav hugged him tightly, "I know things are hard, but you have me, you Anders and Dermot and young Ian." Kazuo nodded, "Please don't leave me alone.  I can't be alone.  I can't lose anyone else."

"I won't let you lose anyone else." "Promise?" "I promise." Kazuo rested his forehead on Gav's, "Thank you.  I love you." "I love you, too."  They sat there in an embrace, each trying to process the day's events.  They were glad they weren't alone.  All they wanted was for Ian to come home.  They knew it wouldn't happen, but…

They could hope together.

#oc #original character

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Would you do Kaz with this prompt? “I feel like I should be calling an ambulance.” “Don’t even think about it.” “But-” “We’re not there yet.”

Your writing is incredible!

Thank you so much for the kind words and the request! I had a lot of fun creating this one!

We’re Not There Yet; Chronic Pain Dialogue Prompt

Summary: Kaz's chronic pain acts up badly after a job and Reader is worried. (I replaced ‘ambulance’ in the prompt with ‘medik or healer’ to be world accurate) CW: Food mention, pain mention Word Count: 2,339

“Do you have the documents?” Y/N whispered through the door to Kaz, eyes still on the crowd before them.

He scoffed lightly, something banging as he moved around in the small closet. “Who do you take me for? A common thief? Of course I have them.”

“Okay, just checking. This job is important.” Y/N shook their head, eyes scanning the room.

“I more than anyone would know that. Do your part and it’ll be fine,” he hissed back through the door.

A few minutes later, Kaz stepped out of the closet. The drab guard uniform had been left behind in a bag and he was now dressed in a fitted black suit, his hair slicked back and a casual cane glimmering in the light from the chandeliers. Y/N knew the documents were stored in the inner pocket of the coat, behind the false back he personally tailored into every suit jacket he owned. They were used to seeing him in suits, but those were never of such high quality as this one. He looked as if he fit right in with all the rich snobs at the party.

He smirked down at Y/N’s dazzled expression. “Are you ready?” His eyes twinkled with anticipation and the rush of the job.

Y/N nodded and took a deep breath, gently placing their hand on his outstretched arm. Kaz led them through the crowded room with ease, looking for all the world like he had grown up around every person here instead of on the streets of Ketterdam. When they reached the dance floor, it was clear they weren’t going to be able to skirt around the edges or find another corridor to get around it.

Kaz sighed and leaned close to Y/N’s ear. “Darling, would you mind a quick gavotte through this crowd?”

Y/N looked up at the man they knew they would trust with their life if it came down to it and had done just that many times throughout the three years they’d known each other. They flashed him a smile that they hoped fit in with their surroundings. “I’d love to, my dear.”

It wasn’t hard to pretend to be a rich, young couple. After all, they’d been in a relationship that had yet to be labeled for the past year now. Y/N never pushed Kaz to define what they had, knowing it might be as transient as he tended to be. They may both hold affection and romantic feelings for the other but that didn’t mean Kaz would be willing to label what they had and tell the world about Y/N.

So, they savored the moments he bestowed affection upon them. They let themself get swept into his arms and, for the brief few minutes it took to dance across the room, believe that they were like every other couple in the room. They let themself fantasize that they truly did fit in there and that this was their life, away from the pain of the Barrel and the uncertainty that tainted their life.

Too soon, the dance ended and Kaz pulled away from Y/N, leaving their only point of contact to be the light touch of their hand on his sleeve as the pair crossed the entryway and walked out the doors. The courtyard was large, lit by the full country moon and more stars than Y/N could ever see in the city. They crossed quickly, needing to stick to Kaz’s strict time schedule for everything to work properly.

Y/N naturally stepped closer to Kaz, arm curling around his and head leaning closer to his shoulder without touching him, acting the part of a tired partygoer who is being taken home early due to a headache. Kaz’s steps became more rigid, as if he were fighting the urge to run. Still, he kept his gait as even as possible as they approached the gate, the last place where something could go wrong.

Kaz’s cane clicked along the flagstones, followed by the sounds of their footsteps. He brought them to a halt by the gate and Y/N turned their head to rest their forehead against his shoulder as if the light were too much for them. Kaz’s soothing voice crooned to them, a hand lightly running over their hair. “It’s okay, darling, we’re almost out.” He turned his head and spoke to the guard at the gate. “My partner has a headache so I’m taking them home to rest. Would you be so kind as to open the gate for us?”

Y/N felt like holding their breath as they peeked at the guard. He squinted at Kaz but let them pass, eyes still trained on him as Kaz led Y/N through the gate. “Do I know you?” the guard asked.

Kaz shook his head, muscles in his neck and shoulders shifting with the movement. “No, sir, not that I recall. This is my first visit to this estate.”

“No, I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere.” A light flared, no doubt the guard bringing a lantern closer. Kaz stiffened almost imperceptibly beneath Y/N’s hold and they squeezed his arm gently to remind him to relax and be calm. The guard’s voice rose in shock and anger. “You’re the new guard I passed in the hall! What are you doing out of uniform?!”

Kaz dropped all pretense and Y/N’s arm. “Run.” His voice was calm before he took off into the night, spry and fast despite his limp.

Y/N shot after him, both running toward the carriage Anika was driving. Roeder split away from the rooftops where he’d been perched and followed after, dropping onto the driver’s seat beside Anika. Kaz held the door open for Y/N, who all but threw themself into the carriage. The door was slammed shut and Kaz knocked his cane against the window.

Y/N barely had time to pick themself off the floor before Anika flicked the reins and sent them rushing forward. Y/N was sent sprawling across the bench, nearly kicking Kaz in the knee. He shifted his leg just in time and looked impassively at them as they situation themself. 

“Comfortable?” Kaz sassed, raising an eyebrow at them.

Y/N wrinkled their nose at him and airily said, “Of course.” They leaned forward, eagerness driving away the fatigue. “Can we see the prize now?”

Kaz sighed but pulled the documents out, bracing himself against the side of the shaking carriage. He leafed through the pile of papers he’d grabbed, a smile slowly spreading across his face. “We got it. We got all of it.”

Y/N whooped, banging a fist into the panel that led to the driver’s seat. “You hear that, guys? We did it!”

The others let out a cheer, the reins snapping to urge the horses along. Y/N relaxed against the bench, eyes slipping closed. “Good. I don’t think I could have gone through all that for nothing.” To the rocking of the carriage and the comforting rustle of Kaz’s papers, they drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Kaz’s cane thumped against Y/N’s leg, startling them away. “Huh, what?” They had a knife halfway out of its sheath before they recognized it was just him.

Kaz smirked as he got out of the carriage. “We’re here. Get up.”

Y/N sleepily followed him and the other two into the inn they had been staying at the night before. Anika pulled Kaz aside briefly and spoke to him, soon splitting from the group with Roeder in tow. Kaz nodded for Y/N to keep with him and they followed him to his room.

“Where did they go?” Y/N asked once the door was closed behind them.

“Anika is grabbing something for the crew to eat and Roeder is covering our tracks, making sure we weren’t followed.” Kaz sat heavily on the bed, a sigh escaping his lips.

Y/N instantly became aware of his every movement and noise. “How are you feeling? Be honest with me, now.”

He blew out a breath, hands reaching down to massage his leg. “It’s throbbing. That last sprint did me no favors after the rain last night and the carriage rides aren’t helping.”

Y/N hummed, coming to sit beside him. “You should probably rest. I’ll look over the last of the documents.”

Kaz shook his head. “You wouldn’t know exactly what we need, I’ve only told you the basics of it.” He pressed a quick kiss to their hair, so light it was hardly there, and pulled the papers back out of his pocket.

Y/N stood to pace, filled with restless energy. Kaz hissed out a breath as he shifted his weight on the bed, pulling his bad leg up to stretch it out. Y/N turned to him on the pacing route. “I feel like I should be calling a medik or healer right now.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Kaz growled.

“But-”

“We’re not there yet. I know my own limits. Even if I needed a medik, I’m not allowing one near me unless I’m lethally bleeding.”

Y/N stopped their pacing, coming to kneel in front of him. They reached for Kaz’s hand but pulled back at the last second, placing their hand beside his on the bed instead. “Then tell me what to do. Help me, here. Tell me what I can do to make you feel better. Not even you deserve to suffer every minute of every day.”

Kaz sighed, his gloved hand coming to cup Y/N’s cheek and rub his thumb over the bone. “Thank you, angel.” He gave them a list of things to grab, mainly supplies for pain relief and a few sleeping aids. After a quick outfit change into something a bit less noticeable than the flashy party clothes, they crept out of the room with the promise to return shortly.

They visited the local apothecary and purchased most of the list there, getting a few other things from the woods at the edge of town. Living with and loving Kaz for the past year had caused them to pick up a few things from the local mediks. Y/N had even searched out a few specific books on medikal practices and natural remedies. Luckily, the woods had some plants they recognized from shops and the books.

When Y/N got back, they knocked on the door but got no response. Carefully, they opened the door as their knife slid into their hand. Instead of an empty room or thieves rattling through their things, Y/N was greeted with soft breathing coming from the bed. They released a sigh and put the knife back in their boot. The door was softly shut behind them and their pack was placed at the foot of the bed.

Kaz was sleeping. His breathing was soft, face relaxed. Y/N loved seeing him like this, the furrow in his brow gone. He looked peaceful, his worries discarded in the waking world. They pulled his boots off gently, one hand carefully bracing his ankle, and tucked the blankets over him.

Y/N pulled a book out of their personal bag and curled up in a nearby chair. Flipping it open, they picked up where they’d left off and lost themself in another world. Their senses filled with the feel of the paper, the sounds of Kaz’s breathing, and their imagination filled with the story of dragons and knights and epic rescues.

The door creaked open and Y/N lifted their head. Anika smiled as she stepped into the room, Roeder following silently behind her. Y/N nodded back and marked their place in the book, moving to wake Kaz.

Anika passed around the meal she’d grabbed as Roeder launched into his report. Kaz sat on the edge of the bed, socked foot hanging over the side, and listened while he ate. Y/N sat on the floor by his feet, a book held open by their knee, and worked on mixing the natural remedies for Kaz.

Y/N ate while they waited for Roeder to finish. When he did, they passed a few things up to Kaz. “I made a poultice for the leg, here’s a few things to drink for the pain, and here’s something for the taste.” Short and concise, showing no weakness to the others. That’s how Kaz preferred it.

He looked down at them, eyes twinkling. “Thank you.”

Anika clapped her hands. “Well, I’m going to try to sleep. I call the corner.” She stepped behind the chair and changed.

Roeder pulled a bedroll out of his pack and spread it in front of the door, laying down to block it from opening while he was asleep. “I’ll guard the door. Kaz, if you think we need to actually keep watch I’ll go first.”

Kaz shook his head. “That won’t be necessary.”

Roeder shrugged and shut his eyes, falling asleep within minutes. Anika spread her bedroll in the corner and laid down, drifting off soon after him. Y/N watched Kaz massage the ointments into his leg. “I’ll take the chair and you can have the bed.”

He shook his head, expression firm. “The bed is big enough for us to share.”

“Really? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’ll be fine on the chair or just the floor.”

“Yes. I want you next to me.”

Y/N smiled, butterflies filling their stomach. “Okay, I’ll share it with you.”

“Good, you get the side closer to the wall.”

They nodded and crawled past him, laying on their side with their back to the wall. They pulled the pillow down in front of them, hugging it to them and resting their head on it. “Last chance to back out, Kaz.”

He chuckled and laid down beside them, brushing a strand of hair out of their face. “I wouldn’t trade this for the world.”

Taglist (Check out my masterlist before sending an ask to be added!): @lou-hadrian-gardna26, @ilovemarvelanne1, 

#ace writes #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #reader #anika (six of crows) #roeder (six of crows) #established relationship #light angst #not really angst not really fluff just kinda there #heist

[unrequitedloveletter]

Certainly- Kaz Brekker

The reader is a bit of an astrology and astronomy alike geek for this, which I hope y’all don’t mind! Also, in this case, phones exist so lets pretend that phones exist in Ketterdam, making it a bit of a modern au, I guess!

Also, this’ll probably be a bit ooc for Kaz

Fic type- angsty fluff

Warnings- blood, mentions of death, and the reader is sick (nothing specific, I just kind of took random symptoms and made up a word for the sickness)

You were determined to see the stars before you went, and as you grew sicker, none of the crows knew when that would be, so, after a little convincing, the crows had gotten Colm to let you spend a couple of months at his farm in Novyi Zem, where the stars were the clearest at night, not burdened by light pollution or the screams of lively cities. 

It was the seven of you crammed into a basement, sharing beds, but none of them cared, and you were just glad to be with the people you called family. You were happy that they were with you, that Kaz was willing to wheel you everywhere when you got too weak to stand, that Jesper still made jokes, even despite watching you deteriorate. You were grateful for Inejs smile, Wylans music, Ninas impeccable tastes and Matthias and his big arms that could lift you and put you down without issue. 

The six of them had started taking shifts taking you outside. Nina took you outside Sunday nights, Matthias Mondays, Wylan Tuesdays, Jesper Thursdays, Inej Fridays and Kaz Saturdays. Wednesdays you rested up; ate when it was time to eat, used the bathroom when you needed, took a shower if it were the appropriate time, but other than that, you slept.

It was Kaz’s day to wheel you out, and you’d had a particularly rough day that day. Inej went with him, promising not to intrude on the time that you would spend together. She’d do backflips and run across the roof of the farm if you asked her to, but she’d not interrupt otherwise. 

“I love the stars,” you whispered, leaning back in your wheelchair and tightening the hold of the blanket over your lap. “Thank you both. For doing this.” 

“Don’t you worry, love,” Kaz murmured. “Just keep your eyes on the stars, okay?”

“We’re happy to do this,” Inej added. “All of us are. Really.” It was like both of them could sense it as well as you could. You had a feeling that the night would end terribly, just like the morning had begun.

You’d woken up only to need to rush to the toilet immediately, blood coming up your throat like bile, staining your skin and leaving your bottom lip red as a cherry. 

Kaz had been at your side in a minute, Nina and Wylan right behind him. Wylan kept your hair away from the sides of your face, Nina slowed your heartrate and Kaz wet a cloth with cold water to get your body temp down. 

Kaz had forced himself to stay in the moment, to not let his thoughts stray to the urge to sleep in the same bed as you to make sure that nothing happened while you slept--to be there in case something did--but to stay on the sun as it set and the faraway sound of Wylan playing his flute with the window open so that you’d be able to hear it. 

Once you’d gotten settled under a tree, Inej ran off, making her way inside and up to the barns roof, where she sat, keeping a watch from a distance as Kaz let you rest your head against his shoulder, gloved hand interlaced with yours. 

“I love you, Brekker,” you murmured. “Please don’t forget that. Ever.” 

“I won’t,” he whispered. “You’re gonna stay around and get better until we can spar again, and you can beat my ass even though I’ve my cane as a weapon.” 

“You know full well I can’t promise that,” you wished that you could. You desperately wished. “I’m going to die young, Kaz. I’m not gonna get to eighteen, much less eighty.” Kaz hated you for that.

He hated you because everything that you said somehow managed to be right. It was like you had a sixth sense for that kind of thing, and while, on missions, it proved useful, in that scenario, it just proved annoying. 

“You’re gonna make it to eighteen if it kills me,” he informed you. “I’ll take you around the globe if I need to, just to make sure you end up okay. I will not live a life without you in it, Y/N.” 

“You’re sweet,” you murmured. “Incredibly sweet.”

“Only to you, L/N.” That was the last bit of conversation for a long while as the sun set and the stars came out.

“Did you know that the moon isn’t circular?” You pointed lazily to it, bright and beautiful amongst the even brighter stars. “According to scientests, it’s actually shaped like a lemon!” Kaz didn’t fight his smile.

Of course you’d be spouting off the little factoids you knew about space. You loved it, how vast and crazy it all seemed. 

“And that the clouds at the center of the Milky Way smell like raspberries and rum?” Kaz snorted.

“Okay, now, theres no way that ones true!” 

“Oh,” you leaned up, booping his nose without a care in the world. “But it is! It’s in a study somewhere, I think! Look it up!” He laughed, pulling you closer to him as you rambled.

Inej had started doing running flips across the roof, spinning and dancing and no doubt laughing as she did. Kaz knew it was an elaborate effort to get you to smile, and it seemed to work as she moved; a delightful silhouette amongst a star filled sky. 

“I love you, Kaz Brekker,” you whispered. “You don’t need to say it back, but I really, truly do love you with every bone that exists in my body.”

“I love you too,” he said it without hesitation. “And I’ll love you until we’re old and grey, I swear it.”

“Don’t hold me to that promise,” you murmured. “You know how bad this is. Stop thinking that I’ll make it into the new year. I probably wont.”

“You will if it kills me, Y/N,” he gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I’ll drain the bank dry if I have to, I swear to Ghezen.”

You didn’t say anything after, too exhausted to even think about starting an argument with him, simply not wanting to. 

But then, an hour later, Kaz felt fear trickle into his stomach like it hadn’t ever in his life.

“And then theres Supernova. It’s like a star that’s dying having it’s last celebration. Like when we get a really big win, or when we get away with what we intended to get away with, and we all get shitfaced before we collapse onto our beds and sleep for the night? A supernova is a dying stars explosion. It’s the last celebration that the star has before it dies out.” you’d been rambling.

“Tonight is my... tonight is my...” Kaz had called for Nina right then and there, screaming her name while he felt you go slack against him.

“Zenik!” He screamed, not caring at all if he were to wake up Jespers father. “Zenik, call in that fucking favor with the bloody Ravkan prince!” Matthias came barreling out after her, phone in hand, already speaking to someone as Nina began working, steadying your heart and trying her hardest to keep you alive. 

Kaz had to force himself to walk away from it all, pushing his feet away after giving your shoulders one last squeeze and walking far out into the field. 

Once he was sure he was out of earshot, he couldn’t stop himself. Tears flooded his eyes and he found himself glaring at the sky, wanting to scream, wanting to shout, wishing that there was someone around that he could gut like a fish. 

“Saints,” he murmured through gritted teeth. “Sankt Ilya, Sankt Adrik, Sankta Alina of The Fold, I know I am a terrible person, but Y/N is not. They’re good, they smile, they laugh, they’re kind to others when those people probably don’t deserve their kindness. I know I’m damned, I know that you probably strongly dislike me, but they’re different.” He’d never asked the Saints for anything before, and he never would again.

“Please, just, let them live. Let them get the life that they deserve. I’ll do my best to make them happy, but you have to let me,” he wiped the tears from his eyes as they came. “They deserve the life that you’re so willing to take away, and all I ask is that you don’t take it.” He heard the sounds of the ambulance car and raced back to you, gripping your hand as they helped you onto a stretcher and out of the field, through the house and out the entrance. 

I won’t lose them, he told himself. A world without them is one that’s unbearable. 

O N E Y E A R L A T E R 

You laughed as Nina chased you through the halls of the Little Palace, running quickly through the endless corridors, your laughter carrying through them as you kept yourself in front of Nina.

Nikolai had kept you in the Os Altan palace since that night, where Inej laughed and danced and did her flips, whilst Wylan played the piano and Kaz sat beside you, listening to your ramblings without a care in the world. 

“You seem delighted,” Nikolai noticed as you stopped in front of his office. “I’ve never seen you walk without that Brekker boy at your side, much less run while Zenik is on your tail!” You shrugged, laughing as Ninas front crashed into your back.

“This is the best I’ve felt in a year,” you murmured. “I figured I’d see if Nina was up to chase me around this morning, and I haven’t stopped running since!” You peered in through the open office door, looking for that familliar mop of dark brown hair.

Nina wrapped her arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be here any minute,” she murmured. “He and the boys are just finishing up a job for Nik in East Ravka, but Matthias told me the second that they’d left!”

“Trust me. Y/N,” Nikolais smooth voice murmured. “I put them on one of my fastest boats. I knew how long it’d take them to get from here to east Ravka and back, and I promised him he’d be here when you finally awoke.” 

“Hows it feel, anyway?” Zoya appeared at his side. “Eighteen, I mean.” You shrugged.

“I miss Kaz,” you murmured bluntly. “I hate that I have to tell him that he was right, but I still miss him.” 

Nikolai took Zoyas hand, pulling her close as you and Nina watched, smiles on your faces. 

“Young love,” Zoya teased. “Zenik, let go of them so that they can turn around.” Nina obeyed, letting you go and moving to lean against the doorway with Nikolai and Zoya. 

You turned, and smiled when your gazes met. “You were right, Brekker,” you murmured, walking toward him as he held out your gift to you. “I’m better now, and the second that you’re ready to spar, I’m gonna beat your ass, even though you’ve your cane as a weapon.” He grabbed your pinky with his the moment you were within distance.

“How’d the heist go?” You murmured once the two of you had walked out of earshot. 

“Good,” Kaz let himself be close to you as you two moved, squeezing your pinky as you slowed your steps. “Plan went off without a hitch, for three idiots and a mastermind with a limp. I brought you this from it,” he held the gift out to you again, and you took it in your free hand, examining it.

“I had to ask permission for that,” he murmured. “I had to get the Ravkan kings seal of approval to steal that for you.” You laughed, looking it over.

It was a journal. Black and leather bound, pages crisp and untouched. A pen was tucked into the cover. 

“I promise, we’ll go home soon,” you responded. “I miss Ketterdam. I could go for some waffles.” 

“Don’t they have waffles here?” Kaz questioned.

“Not Ketterdam waffles, love. Ketterdam waffles are unlike any pathetic waffle from here! Doused in syrup and whip cream--” You let out a satisfied sigh. “So good it’s almost surreal!” Kaz smirked.

“Waffle date when you’re well enough to return home then?” 

“Certainly.”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #platonic inej ghafa x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #waffles

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

grishaverse quotes that I love

“I am not ruined. I am ruination” this quote fucking gives me shivers. like genya did not have to go off like that

“the water hears and understands. the ice does not forgive” I would love to be able to explain why I love this quote but I can’t. it’s just so good.

“Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?"

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.” this will always be iconic

“When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable” is there anything more nikolai than this quote

“fine” he said with a weary shrug. “make me your villain” don’t mind if I do sexy villain who I love even tho everyone yells at me

-“she was going to leave a trail of blood over the skyline” my knife wife. I already love her but when she goes violent I go feral

-“I would have come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together-knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.” my kanej heart is swooning.

-“I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all” you fucking tell him inej, I love a girl who knows her worth

-“It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand.” i’m not a huge helnik fan but I fucking love nina

-“He needed to tell her...what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He needed to thank her for his new hat.” yes tell her all of that

-“The problem with wanting," he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, "is that it makes us weak.” well suck it I still want the darkling.

-“Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won’t you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?” i’m not squealing you are smh

-“What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men” he’s not wrong man

-“Scheming face,” Inej murmured. jesper nodded “definitely”

-“What do you want then?"

“The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie's voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Inej. You.” someone get me an ambulance because i’m having a heart attack

-“This action will have no echo.” all the feels, all the fucking feels

-“A gambler, a convict, a wayward son, a lost Grisha, a Suli girl who had become a killer, a boy from the Barrel who had become something worse.” all my babies

-“Greed is your god, Kaz."

He almost laughed at that. "No, Inej. Greed bows to me. It is my servant and my lever.” i love my dramatic ass kazzle dazzle

-You’re stupid about a lot of things, Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I’m going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue.”

Wylan wiped his nose on his sleeve. “He’ll never believe it.”

“Then I’ll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue.” I fucking love wespers energy

-“I’m going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And i’m going to get my girl” there are so many iconic quotes but we’re going to end with some beautiful kanej

#shadow and bone netflix #six of crows #kanej #wesper #helnik #darklina #kaz x inej #iconic quotes

[methadonebabydoll]

This piece of shit scumbag absolutely beat the shit out of me.. )':

On Wednesday night I was out with a friend of mine and we had stopped briefly at her friends house, when we went to leave I noticed some of stuff was missing including my transpass, now it was only her friend and the 2 of us, so I ask the guy if he took my shit.. in response he immediately punches me in the face, than proceeds to do so a handful more times.. my friend called an ambulance for me and I've been in the hospital since, this guy ended up breaking my nose, I have 2 black eyes, and my scalp is all cut up from him stomping on my head as well...

I'm getting discharged tomorrow morning from the hospital. I'm completely fucked and I could really use some help, my cashapp is $juliascott70 and venmo is @julia-kaz. Any help would be greatly appreciated, I really need to get a transpass since mine was stolen (I have to go to the methadone clinic twice a day because I get a split dose) and I'm not going to be able to get to and from the clinic because of that. Even if you can't, if you could possibly reblog this I'd appreciate that as well. I'm just completely traumatized from this whole thing and I just really don't know what to do... )':

Thank you guys and I love you all as well ❤️, I'm sorry to sound needy ): I'm just at a loss right now..

[impalasgirl]

You came back to me (Final part)

Characters: Dean,  OFC (Kate), Reader.

Words: 2,257

Pairing: Dean x ofc, Dean x reader.

Warnings: ANGSTT, cheating, guilt yada yada yada.  I want it to be clear that I, by no means, want to “promote” people being cheaters lol Saying this just in case….(Now adding kidnapping lol)

A/N:  The end is here! Guys, thank you so much for your love and support, I’m so happy that so many of you enjoyed this short series <3

CATCH UP: Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3

Tags <3: @kaz-2y5-images , @polina-93 , @roonyxx , @thewinchesterchronicles , @random-fandom-lady , @spnfamily-thewinchesters and @mega-mrs-winchester

You could not stop Kate from leaving, you were frozen and she just stormed out of your apartment, leaving you standing there, watching the contents of the box on your couch. But not wanting to remember any of those things, you put those memories away in the trash can.

Sitting on the couch, you analyzed all your options. At this point, it was obvious for you that running away from the bunker was not working and you were sure that not even hiding in another state would help; you had left such destruction and pain on your path of this people’s life’s that disappearing was not doing any good.

When you finally came up with something that might help, a little smile full of hope appeared on your lips.

•• <<────≪•◦⚜◦•≫────>> ••

Two months had passed and it surprised you that she would even answer; you honestly expected that Kate would have even change her number by now.

“What do you want?”

“I know I’m not in a position to ask anything from you, but…” you began, talking as fast as you could, afraid of her hanging up. “I need you help on a hunt”

You heard Kate sigh and then, after a few seconds of silence, she gave you an answer: “Where?”

“Idaho” you replied, trying to not sound too excited about her probably going there with you. “Might be a Djinn”

“Let’s meet at your apartment” She hung up quickly, but you didn’t care, not really. All that mattered to you at that point was that you might have a shot at fixing things, at least with her.

It was weird because, lately, you didn’t think about Dean as much as you used to. Yeah, you still had feeling for him and not only because he used to be your best friend, but the romantic love you still had for the green eyed hunter was not going away. Nevertheless, you felt that after what happened, you owed Kate more of what you owed Dean.

And you were hell bent on fixing, as much as you could, your friendship with her.

When Kate arrived at your apartment a few hours later, she did not even said “Hello” or smiled at you, she simply entered the place the moment you opened the door and put her bags on the floor, whispering she needed to use the bathroom, so you only indicated her where it was and then waited for her to return.

Needless to say, the drive to Idaho was a tense affair.

At a few hours after leaving, you decided to start talking. But Kate beat you to it.

“What’s all this about, Y/N?” she asked, clearly annoyed.

“What?”

“Come on, don’t play dumb with me” Kate almost laughed at what she probably thought was a fake expression of surprise on your face.

You bite your lip and replied, a little unsure. “Remember that hunt I ruined? The one where you had to comfort me afterwards?”

Kate went silent and you could feel her eyes on you, like she was trying to decipher where you were going with all of this.

“The djinn I left go…” you kept going, keeping your eyes on the road ahead of you. “I think he’s back to the same place he got his victim’s from…”

“Jesus—“

“And I thought…” your voice was softer now. “I thought this would be a good time to…I don’t know, try to bring back the good memories, you know?”

“Y/N—“

“I know, Kate. I know it sound stupid but…” you licked your lips and tried to keep the tears in your eyes. “But you helped me so much on those moments. You were a true friend and I paid you doing that with Dean—“

“We broke up” Kate interrupted you, leaving you speechless. “Well, more like I broke up with him.”

Both remained silent for several minutes.

“I’m sorry, Kate, I—” you began but shut up when you heard Kate groan.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N…If you apologize one more time I’m gonna fucking throw myself out of this car”

“But—“

“It’s done! Ok? It’s over between me and Dean” she yelled “I’m getting over this whole situation and you should too.”

You could not bring yourself to say anything else from the next hours. But when you were finally at a motel to relax and eat for the rest of the trip, you had to ask more: “When did you broke up? “

Kate sighed but still answered your question while she started undressing: “Right after I went to your apartment that day.”

“Why?” you questioned before you could think twice about what you had just said.

She rolled her eyes and decided to ignore you for the rest of the night and good part of the morning.

<<Probably for the best>> you thought.

•• <<────≪•◦⚜◦•≫────>> ••

This Djinn was like your arch enemy; he always managed to give you a fight…a good one. The first time you had confronted him alongside Kate, she had saved your life after you had been reckless; but now you had to get to her and kill that son of a bitch. It was not like Djinn’s were hard for you, but this one dude was like a representation of your past, of good and bad memories that would make you feel weak.

“It’s funny, you know?” the Djinn asked, hovering over your body after he had managed to slam you against a wall. But he did not attempt to poison you…no, he was looking at your vulnerability from his privileged position. And he was enjoying your pain, your struggle to get up. He was playing with his food way before he even got the chance to feed from your dreams. “Last time we met, the hot one was braver and smarter than you”

Ok, you tried to ignore how much that annoyed you and hurt, trying to concentrate on getting rid of him.

“Now? She’s like one of those scared young girls I used to pick up on the highway” he chuckled, kneeling at your side. You eyed the silver knife that had been kicked away by the Djinn and then calculated your chances at getting it back. “What happened to that feisty hot girl, huh?”

His face was so close to yours you almost thought he was going to kiss you or something, but as before, he was just enjoying everything in front of him. You knew what you were about to do was going to be disgusting and, if you made it out of this; you wished Kate would never talk about this.

Needless to say, biting a Djinns nose did not taste good…at all. But watching him get away from you, grunting and screaming in pain while holding his bleeding nose was kinda…satisfactory.

You crawled as fast as you could towards your knife and when you finally had it in your hands; you could not help a little smile on your lips as you raced towards the Djinn and plunged the knife onto his chest.

You let the relief sink in just for a few seconds until you remembered Kate. You ran to the basement and when you found all those girls tied up and as pale as ghosts, you tried to untie them as fast as you could, but your eyes kept drifting towards Kate in a corner, making sure you could see her stomach rising and falling.

It was probably “unprofessional” for a hunter, but you decided to give Kate the antidote first and while she started waking up and looking at her surroundings, you gave the antidote to the other girls and tried to calm them down while you called an ambulance.

“Come on, we need to get out of here” you mumbled, helping Kate getting up from the floor and walking with her to your car parked right outside the abandoned house.

•• <<────≪•◦⚜◦•≫────>> ••

You were happy that the hunt was over, that you got the job done; but Kate’s silence while she packed her things was starting to worry you. Physically she was completely healthy, she only had a few bruises and scratches that were nothing for a hunter; but had a strange look on her eyes that you had never seen before and you simply couldn’t decipher.

“I broke up with Dean because I don’t love him anymore”

Her firm voice and her response surprised you; making you stop packing and freezing were you were standing.

“I think—“she turned around to face you and you could see her reflection on the mirror in front of you. “I think I stopped loving him long a time ago.”

You turned to look at her, thousands of questions in your head. Kate smiled sadly, her attention set on the floor.

“Dean and I lost each other way before you two kissed, Y/N” Kate looked up at you at the smile she offered you was one of acceptance, you could not see any trace resentment on her face. “I tried to convince myself that I still had feelings for him…that I still like this…life. That when he came back to me that night, we would be able to get through whatever was happening”

“I didn’t know…”

“I know” she shrugged. “I think we were pretty good at hiding stuff to others, and sometimes to each other.”

A comfortable silence settled in the room for a few minutes before Kate sighed again and kept talking.

“What did you saw?” you asked. Kate bites her lip and then smiles again at you.

“A confirmation of what I really want for myself.”

“And what is that?”

“A normal life”

You could not help yourself; you walked towards her and hugged her as hard as you could. She hugged you back immediately.

“I’m sorry” you both said at the same time, making you giggle a little. Tears running freely.

“I should have never done that, Kate. It was so stupid and wrong and I—“

“And I should have never bullied you or whatever that was—“

“Hey” you chuckled, separating from her and putting your hands on her shoulders. “I deserved that”

“Yeah, you kind of did” she…joked? Ok, you could not tell if she meant it but you decided not to say anything more. “Anyways, I’m gonna leave now.”

“Wait…where are you going? Aren’t you driving back with me to Lebanon?” you questioned, confusion all over your face.

“I’m not gonna stay in the U.S anymore” Kate answered  with a big smile on her lips. “New life, new lands, you know?”

 •• <<────≪•◦⚜◦•≫────>> ••

Your relationship with Kate was not the same as before, but you still kept in touch with her even though the time difference between Lebanon and London was a little difficult. But still, knowing she was being successful with the whole “normal life” thing made you happy and proud.

After a while, that happiness started to fade a little. Because sure, you had fixed things with Kate…but you knew you still needed the Winchesters.

You still needed your best friend Dean.

The guilt on your shoulders also started fading away and that helped you to drive to the bunker and knock at the door.

When Dean opened the door, you felt your legs a little weak and your hands started sweating a little. It had been a long time since you last saw him and he looked as handsome as always, even with that surprised expression on his hard features.

You bite your lip before speaking and smiled nervously at him: “Can I come in?”

•• <<────≪•◦⚜◦•≫────>> ••

You had to talk to Dean on his room because everyone was at the bunker and at that point, there was no real privacy on the place. He sat next to you on the bed and he offered you a beer which you gladly took from his hands —you needed alcohol to relax—.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“About us”

He cleared his throat and you watched him play nervously with the empty beer on his hand.

“Dean, I love you” you declared and you were so relief of finally being able to say those words to him. It was like taking a huge burden off your shoulders. “I love you and I’m sorry for what I did—“

“What we did, Y/N” he corrected you, his green eyes staring into yours with an intensity that made you shiver. “It’s not fair to you to take all the blame on that. I kissed you because I wanted to, because in that moment it was what made sense.”

A sad smile appears on his lips and then he puts his hand on top of yours. “It’s what always made sense. I’ve come to realize that the only thing that I regret from that day was hurting Kate and you in the process of me being selfish and not thinking twice. And to make it worst I did not went to look for you because I thought I was only going to cause you more pain, but, God—”

“Dean—“

“I know we did wrong, Y/N. But if you want…we could start with the right foot this time” he offered, looking hopeful. “Going out to watch movies, fancy dinner—“

“You really asking me on a date? A romcom type of date, Dean Winchester? “You teased him and he laughed.

“You came back, Y/N” he whispered. “I’ll give you all the romcom dates you want”

#dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #supernatural #spn #supernatural x reader #spn x reader #spn imagine #supernatural imagines #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #reader insert #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic

[bravemccalll]

your blood in my veins

| ao3 |

chapter one – a day of birthdays and odd encounters

 Hajime wakes up on the morning of his 20th birthday with the heavy sound of a bass thrumming through his apartment.

Now, Hajime may only get paid minimum wage at his part-time job at the small café around the corner from the university he attends, but god damnit if he is not going to write a strongly worded complaint to the owner of his building about his neighbour’s need to blast their club music at 7am.

He gets up and decides that’s just going to get dressed as quickly as possible for his lecture at midday and just find a bench to read on to waste time, but he can feel vibrations rumbling beneath his feet while he’s brushing his teeth and he can’t take it.

He jerks open his front door and knocks on his neighbour’s door, one shoe on and tied, the other still back by his bed, his shirt untucked at the back and unbelievably tired because life has dealt him a shit hand, but he refuses to have ‘inconsiderate neighbours’ be one of his cards, god damnit –

A man opens the door and Hajime opens his mouth to ask him to turn down the music when he realises that there is no music and the landing he’s standing on his silent except for the loud judgement that is emanating from the man in front of him.

“I,” Hajime starts. “Sorry, I thought, uh. Nevermind.”

He turns and goes back into his apartment where only a few minutes ago he could’ve sworn the wooden flooring had a pulse with the way it shook beneath him.

He shakes his head, grabs his other shoe, tucks his shirt in and chalks it up to lack of sleep and heads out for the day.

Not the best start to his birthday but he’s had worse.

(Across the country, Peko exits the club, her pay-check tucked into the pocket of her leather jacket. She checks the time and almost laughs. It’s been her birthday for a whole seven hours and she hadn’t noticed. Figures.

She hums ‘Happy Birthday’ to herself as she walks home, her key tucked between her fingers, just above her knuckles. It’s bright out and she doesn’t think anyone would try anything with the sun’s harsh glare beating down on them, but she doesn’t want to chance it.

She wonders if her mother has anything for her at home and speeds up.)

//

 Chiaki taps her finger on the edge of her laptop and stares at her computer screen. Various windows, all with different codes, stare back at her.

She checks the time. 9:00am. She checks the date. 15th of August. It’s her 20th birthday. And it’s too early to call her grandparents.

She wonders what they’ll do today – her, her grandmother and grandfather. Last year they went to the park and had a picnic while her gran fussed over the bags under her eyes and her grandpa excitedly explained every dish he had made.

They might have a ball this year. She hopes not. The last ball they had for her birthday was when she was eight and she distinctly remembers tripping over the hem of her dress and falling into a punch bowl. Never again.

She sighs and starts to shut down her laptop, saving and double-saving her work before closing the lid. She rises off the cosy armchair she was gifted when she first bought her house and makes a note to get a glass of water before she starts to get ready for the day while she grabs her laptop case.

Just as Chiaki turns to the kitchen, she’s hit with a blind pain, the kind that makes you see white for a moment. She looks down and there are her hands, usually pale with her nails round and smooth, now stained red with her knuckles bust open. One of the bones at the base of her middle finger on her right hand has pierced the skin and she feels the urge to vomit.

She runs to the sink and shoves her hands under the tap, looking around frantically for her phone to get an ambulance over because dear lord bones aren’t meant to do that, are they?

She turns back to the sink just as she remembers her phone is on the armchair and the sink that was once splattered with pink water is now pristine and there are her hands, unblemished if a bit wet.

She blinks and wonders how she could’ve imagined something like that.

Not a great start to her big day. She resolves to not tell her grandparents about this, no matter how much she’d love to get their opinion on it. They’d just worry.

(South of Chiaki’s quiet house, Fuyuhiko on the bed in his dingy hotel room, his belt clenched between his teeth, his right hand a bloody mess but he can’t tell what’s his blood and what’s his associate’s. Associate being a loose term to describe the sneaky asshole who stole fifty grand from his father.

There’s a med kit that’s got bloody finger prints alone the front. A needle and some thread are missing, easily found in Fuyuhiko’s shaky left hand.

The fucker just had to break his right hand, huh.

He takes a deep breath and gets to work. Happy birthday indeed.)

 //

 “Hey,” Kazuichi says. “Happy birthday.”

Hajime smiles and lifts a hand to rest on Kazuichi’s shoulder. “Thanks, Kaz. So, did you build a robot to sleep for me?”

“No.”

“You’re a terrible friend and I hate you.”

Kazuichi snorts. “I did buy you a coffee though,” he adds, bringing a hot cup out from where he’d been hiding it behind his back.

“You’re the love of my life,” Hajime replies, very seriously.

Kazuichi wrinkles his nose. “Gross.”

Hajime looks at him, offended. “Excuse you.” He lifts the cup to his mouth and is instantly grateful for the heat. At this point he’s ninety percent sure his bloodstream is entirely made up of caffeine.

“So how was your history lecture?” Kazuichi asks, hopping up to sit on the wall next to him, his legs swinging. Hajime doesn’t know how Kaz is able to make his jeans look as though they’re meant to have those holes in the knees, but he doesn’t question it.

“Fine, I guess. Learned some more about Mary, Queen of Scots but I already knew most of the information.”

“Nerd,” Kazuichi says. Hajime elbows him in the ribs.

“What about you?” Hajime asks in return. He lifts his cup to his mouth as he waits for an answer and almost spits out the liquid because that was definitely not coffee. It tasted like herbal tea which Hajime has sworn off because of an incident involving spilling some of it down his front before his high school prom.

“What?” Kazuichi exclaims, leaning away from Hajime’s disgusted expression.

Hajime forces it down his throat only because there is a nice old lady standing just in front of him, waiting on the same bus as them, and he doesn’t think she’d appreciate being spit on. Besides, they’d need to share a bus together and really, he’s looking out for Future-Hajime who would have to bear the aftermath of that particular action.

“That wasn’t coffee,” Hajime chokes out. “That was herbal tea.”

“What, like from prom?” Kazuichi reaches over and takes the cup from Hajime’s hand and takes a swig himself. “No, that’s coffee. And very strong coffee, just like you need it in order to function.” Kazuichi frowns at him. “Are you ok?”

Hajime takes the cup back and drinks from it again. Coffee. He shakes his head to clear it and forces a smile. “Yeah, I’m just tired. Don’t worry about it.”

(Elsewhere, Fuyuhiko takes a sip of his herbal tea and spit it out a mouthful of what tastes like someone dumped lightly watered coffee beans into his mouth. It goes all over his new book and jolts his broken knuckle.

He is having a lousy fucking day. But now he has a weird urge to re-read his worn book on Scottish History, which is very odd considering he just read it but that’s life he supposes. Broken knuckles, tea that tastes like coffee and re-reading old books.)

 //

 Later that night, Peko sits beside her mother’s bed. She has fallen asleep, but she shivers weakly every so often despite the two blankets Peko has laid over her. Her mother is ill, and she feels useless, just as she does every time she comes home, and her mother has been unable to leave her bed on her own the entire time she was gone. It’s bearable when she has night shifts at least, so there are small mercies.

Peko sighs and grinds the heels of her palms into her eyes until there are little black spots in her vision when she pulls them away. She has been up for almost twenty-four hours and her body is starting to feel it. She glances at her mother again. They say it’s a motor neuron disorder, a disorder which leaves her muscles weak and sore. The doctor had told her that there wasn’t a cure and she had put her fist through a wall.

She stands and goes to get another blanket because her mum is cold because the bloody heating is broken, and her piece of shit landlord won’t let it get fixed until Monday when suddenly she isn’t in her small apartment, she’s in a ball room.

There are people milling around her, carrying flutes of champagne, some wearing sweeping gowns that swish and swirl and others are wearing inky black suits with crisp white shirts underneath them.

She looks down and she’s wearing a dress of her own, all baby pink and cute. She feels shorter than usual, even though she lifts the skirt of her dress and she’s wearing high heels.

Someone touches her arm and she jumps but when she turns, she sees a kind face peering down at her. “Are you alright, dear? I did try to tell your grandmother to tone it down a bit, but you know what she’s like,” the old gentleman says, chuckling slightly.

She opens her mouth to reply but she’s back in her mother’s bedroom, all the blankets in her home piled on top of her mother who has stopped shivering. Peko could cry from relief.

(Back at the gala, Chiaki excuses herself and sits on the patio and cries because that sick woman had looked just like her mother had and suddenly she isn’t Chiaki Nanami, 20-year-old coding genius, with her own house and a good career, she’s just nine again, crying under her duvet because her mother is sick and isn’t going to get better, no matter how many stars she wishes on.)

 //

 Fuyuhiko lies on his bed and stares at his alarm clock. In two minutes, his birthday will be over, over until next year. He wonders if his father remembers or even cared enough in the first place to make a note of it. Sometimes he likes to think that his mother would have cared but she died too young for him to actually make an informed guess on what their relationship could have been.

He shifts around, trying to find a comfortable position, turns to face away from his clock and comes face to face with a woman.

A very pretty woman. Her eyes are crimson and though he hates the colour, too much of it has stained his skin for him to find a liking for it, he can see the appeal of it now. Her hair is silver and curls lightly over pyjamas which have little Disney logos on them – adorable, he almost snorts.

The woman in his bed is very beautiful. The woman in his bed is cute. There is a woman in his bed.

He jerks back, off his bed and goes to grab the gun under his pillow, wondering if this is some sick joke his uncle is playing on him or if this is going to be the assassination attempt that will finally work because he got distracted by a pretty face but when he aims his gun, he’s pointing it at empty sheets.

He blinks a few times, checks under his bed and in the bathroom but she’s gone. He rubs a hand down his face and begins to pack up all his stuff. He’ll find somewhere else to sleep – someone knew he’s here and already the itch of paranoia ticks inside his skull. Maybe he can steal some of the sheets, the streets would be a lot comfier with them.

(Peko holds her heart and breathes deeply. There had been a man in her bed. A nice-looking man. A dangerous man if the scar above his eye meant anything. And he had been shirtless. Peko feels her face flush and hides the colouring by shoving her face into her pillow. It’s too late at night to be thinking of such things, now is the time for sleep.

(She doesn’t get to sleep for hours, the cold somehow much worse, as though she were outside instead of in her bedroom.))

 //

 Hajime climbs into bed after he finally finishes his assessment and submits it, and he checks the time and realises his birthday has been over for a few minutes now.

He rolls out of bed because he forgot to brush his teeth but just as he has the toothpaste on his brush, he sticks it in his mouth and looks into the mirror and a pale girl peers back at him.

She’s very lovely, with blonde hair that brushes the top of her shoulders and pale eyes that blink rapidly if a bit sleepily.

She reaches forward and touches the mirror with her hand. He does the same.

She stares at him and leans forward and mouths, “Who are you?”

Hajime smiles and thinks that this is one of the more entertaining dreams he’s had in a while. “I don’t know,” he mouths back because he doesn’t want to be Hajime right now. He wants to be someone else, someone who looks into his mirror and sees pretty girls instead of his own sorry reflection.

She huffs and looks adorable with her cheeks puffed out. “Shut up,” she says out loud and ducks out of sight just to end their conversation, all because of Hajime’s ability to always be a little shit.

His own reflection returns, and he sighs and finishes brushing his teeth and heads to bed, for real this time.

(Chiaki stands back up, but the boy is gone. He had looked tired but good-looking with olive skin and dark, fluffy hair.

It was as good an end to her birthday that she’s ever gotten, and she falls asleep with a smile on her face that no one sees.)

#hajime hinata #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #peko pekoyama #chiaki namani #kazuichi souda #sdr2 #danganronpa #sense8 au #your blood in my veins #kuzupeko #hinanami #kuzupeko fic #hinanami fanfiction #hmmmmmmmmmmmm #idk how i feel about this yet #oh well

[shsl-emt]

Intro Sequence Go!

Hajimemashite and all that, friendos! You can call me Sandy/SD (he/him) and I’m the swankiest Sylveon around! Seriously though, I’m glad to be here even if timezones are not so convenient (SEA/GMT+8 hewwo from the futuwure!) and I hope to get along with you guys!

I’m the brains and experience behind Kaz, or Kazunari Aikawa the SHSL EMT! He and I both share a job in that we’re first responders (I’m serving army service as a paramedic) but I’m fairly certain he’d totally kick my ass at the whole saving lives thing. Still, he’s a pretty chill dude to be around, and you can count on him to attend to you if you need help!

Even if all you did was break a nail.

Would your OC know Kaz?

If your OC lives in the Osaka region, they’ve definitely heard of Kaz due to the Shinsaibashi Fires incident. (pm me for more information if you need!)

Otherwise, they may have come across an article on the news or watched broadcasts that prominently feature the heroic rescue of over a hundred casualties from the out-of-control blaze at Shinsaibashi Shopping Arcade nearly two years ago; out of them, forty lives and limbs are attributed to a young man by the name of Kazunari Aikawa.

In the last couple of years, Kaz has popped up occasionally at hotspots and other accident sites, tending to the wounded and resuscitating the unconscious as best as he can before letting ambulance personnel take over the reins. Apparently, he travels around the country quite a lot, perhaps they may have seen him around though not recognized him. 

There have been… somewhat interesting rumours on the grapevine surrounding Kaz. Specifically, ex-classmates and teachers speak of a shy, fidgety young boy who stammered a lot and shied away from attention; when interviewed or asked, they express surprise that he is now known for being the Super High School Level EMT. Depending on who you ask, the reasons for this shift include puberty, a sudden-death experience, therapeutic sessions aimed at building his confidence, and aliens.

OOC Matters

I’m 100% okay with art of Kaz! Feel free to draw him without having to check with me first, and I’ll be the first to say that the hair isn’t hiding anything important - he just likes it floppy like that.

I’m also open to shipping Kaz, but considering he’s demi, it might take a while to actually open him up to any sort of romantic intention. 

Want to exchange ideas, plot murders or otherwise make plans for Kaz and your OC? Slide into my DMs and we’ll have a chat.

Trivia

Kaz admits outright that he doesn’t know what the word ‘aesthetic’ means. He’ll wear anything if asked as long as it isn’t insulting to someone else or publicly humiliating. He can rock a pair of heels, but not run in them.

Kaz likes food with interesting textures as opposed to a certain taste. Probably why his favourite comfort food are these fizzy watermelon sweets that he stands by being the best thing he’s ever had. Ever.

Even though his specialty is first response and treatment, Kaz is also rather knowledgeable on medical know-how, and has a certified license to perform CPR and handle a defibrillator. 

The medic pouch you can see strapped to his waist contains a variety of lifesaving tools that he can pull out at a moment’s notice. It’s also a gift from his dad.

Speaking of his parents, characters might know his father as a prosthetist / orthotist who works at the Kenporen Osaka Central Hospital, and his mother as a stay-at-home programmer. Their names are Tatsuo Aikawa and Nora Hayashibara respectively, and you can ask Kaz about them.

#ooc #kaz

[ratmonologue]

You know the drill, all tHE ASKS

Why

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? I don’t actually use any of them

is your room messy or clean? Room is okay, but desk looks like a war zone

what color are your eyes? brown

do you like your name? why? Yeah? It’s fairly unique but it’s spelled how it sounds, which is nice. And I’m used to it so

what is your relationship status? in a polyamorous relationship with about a dozen fictional characters

describe your personality in 3 words or less um…. obsessive, spontaneous, triestobeagoodfriendbutidkhowconsistentlyisucceed (that counts as one word right?)

what color hair do you have? brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? 20 years old and don’t have a driver’s licence eyyyy

where do you shop? At stores? Mostly of the grocery variety

how would you describe your style? Pretty casual I guess. Jeans and tanktops/t-shirts, dark colors, boots, army jacket

favorite social media account Does the OT count as social media? If so that

what size bed do you have? Sad little twin-sized mattress with very broken innersprings (yay college apartments)

any siblings? one younger sister

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I’m honestly loving Edinburgh so staying here for the time being would be great

favorite snapchat filter? don’t have snapchat, so don’t know

favorite makeup brand(s) whatever’s cheap and doesn’t smudge

how many times a week do you shower? Usually every other day, so, like, 3-4. If it’s hot out then closer to 5-6

favorite tv show? FIREFLY. With additional special mentions to Blackadder, M*A*S*H, and Merlin

shoe size? US size? UK size? European size? CAN YOU TELL I’VE HAD A CONFUSING TIME SHOE SHOPPING OVER HERE??? (US 8, Euro 39, UK a Mystery)

how tall are you? 5′5″

sandals or sneakers? COMBAT BOOTS (but converse are second place so sneakers)

do you go to the gym? pfffft no

describe your dream date A ride in the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo would be pretty cool

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? *checks* around £55

what color socks are you wearing? not wearing socks

how many pillows do you sleep with? two

do you have a job? what do you do? college student who really does need to start thinking about an actual job, seeing as how they’re graduating in a few months

how many friends do you have? I think that number really depends on where you draw the what-defines-a-friend line but, um, a decent enough number I guess? I do need more irl friends over here though

whats the worst thing you have ever done? Some high school friends and I were kinda shitty to this one girl in our group, so maybe that. Idk, I’ve done a lot of small-ish terrible things but nothing super dramatic so it’s hard to pick one as the /worst/

whats your favorite candle scent? IKEA had this one green-apple-scented candle that to this day I wish I would have bought.

3 favorite boy names That’s so hard to narrow down and now all I can think of are fictional characters that I like. Um… *throws darts at mental dartboard* Sam, Nathan, Adrian. Although those might be pretty heavily influenced by the fact that I’ve met awesome people with all of those names so. For fictional characters, Kaz Brekker is a fantastic name, as is Han Solo, as is Ronan Lynch, and…. I should stop. There are so many names that I like though

3 favorite girl names Same problem as above. *throws more mental darts* Sierra, Lyra, Clare

favorite actor? I’m currently in watch-everything-that-Diego-Luna-has-ever-been-in mode. More long-term favorites are Harrison Ford and Richard Armitage

favorite actress? Catherine Tate is pretty fantabulous.

who is your celebrity crush? I like how the question asks for “crush,” singular

favorite movie? Raiders of the Lost Ark and Jurassic Park

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Not as much as I used to. Favorites (yes, plural) include The Book Thief, Six of Crows, Illuminae, Inkspell, The Dream Thieves, Half Moon Investigations, and so many more…..

money or brains? For me or in others? Either way, both is always nice xD

do you have a nickname? what is it? Well the OT crew knows me as Clary so. My camp counselor name was Coconut

how many times have you been to the hospital? I’ve been to the ER once or twice, but I don’t think I’ve ever stayed overnight in a hospital

top 10 favorite songs How dare you. Okay, um…. *tries to pick from a variety of bands and not just my 1-2 faves* Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back (MCR), Daze (Poets of the Fall), When Everything Comes to an End (Plan Three), Brush it Off (Plan Three), Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Green Day), Morning Tide (PotF), Subrosa (Plan Three), What About Now (Daughtry), Ambulance (MCR), Rogue (PotF)…. that’s ten…. that didn’t even come CLOSE to covering them all (and so much for a variety of bands, heh)

do you take any medications daily? nope

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Pretty normal? Maybe slightly on the oily side

what is your biggest fear? jellyfish and plane crashes

how many kids do you want? ZERO, ZIP, ZILCH, NADA, NONE, KEINE, NUL. NO THANK YOU.

whats your go to hair style? Well seeing as how my hair’s kinda too short to do much with it, either down or in a partial ponytail

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) grimy old student apartment woohoo

who is your role model? Nina Zenik

what was the last compliment you received? I have no idea

what was the last text you sent? “Honestly though I can’t say I’d mind if he actually did invade my hotel room. He’s one of the few people that could get away with it ;D” …..I’m not sure whether the context would make this better or worse

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? 8, maybe? There was never a dramatic earth-shattering reveal; understanding was kinda gradual

what is your dream car? a spaceship

opinion on smoking? it’s disgusting why would you ever

do you go to college? yes

what is your dream job? underwater archaeologist by day, bestselling novelist by night. space pirate is also an option.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Can I just say smack-dab in the city center? Is that not an option? Because that’s where I am now and I’m loving it.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No but the last hotels I was in provided instant tea/coffee/hot chocolate packets and I stole all the hot chocolate packets

do you have freckles? no

do you smile for pictures? usually

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 1248. I need to delete a bunch.

have you ever peed in the woods? Yes, many times. I’ve also peed in the desert many times.

do you still watch cartoons? Yes, although different ones than from when I was a kid

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Neither, honestly

Favorite dipping sauce? There’s this one place in San Francisco whose french fries are, like, award-winning and they have a zillion dipping sauces, one of which is a lemon saffron aioli and it is heavenly.

what do you wear to bed? a t-shirt and sometimes pants, if it’s cold enough

have you ever won a spelling bee? no but I think I was in the top ten?

what are your hobbies? wasting time, reading, watching movies/tv shows, writing and drawing when I have the motivation

can you draw? Kind of?

do you play an instrument? Clarinet for 11 years, plus saxophone, mediocre piano, and mediocre guitar

what was the last concert you saw? Poets of the Fall. I died. Many times over.

tea or coffee? neither honestly, though tea if I absolutely had to pick

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Don’t really care

do you want to get married? If I somehow find a way to make fictional characters come to life, sure

what is your crush’s first and last initial? S.B.

are you going to change your last name when you get married? Unless I marry someone with an impossibly cool last name, no

what color looks best on you? probably black. purple and olive green look good too

do you miss anyone right now? The SOAR Squad

do you sleep with your door open or closed? Considering I share an apartment with five other students, closed, always

do you believe in ghosts? not really, no

what is your biggest pet peeve? When people are unwilling to look facts in the eye

last person you called? Maybe my mom?

favorite ice cream flavor? COOKIE DOUGH

regular oreos or golden oreos? Does golden mean no chocolate? If so then regular, why would you take away chocolate

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? always chocolate

what shirt are you wearing? a purple one that for once isn’t fandom related

what is your phone background? Sir Gwaine in sunglasses

are you outgoing or shy? It honestly depends. I think I’ve gotten a lot better at pretending to be outgoing

do you like it when people play with your hair? Depends who that person is

do you like your neighbors? I’m gonna interpret this as apartment-mates and while I don’t really know them too well yeah they seem pretty alright

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Whenever I shower

have you ever been high? Only on sugar and sleep deprivation

have you ever been drunk? Yes, but not enough to black out or give me a hangover

last thing you ate? Cheesy bacon-ey mushroom-ey salsa-ey scrambled eggs

favorite lyrics right now “And now assassination is just the only waaaaayyyyyy…..” by the cowboys in Dr. Horrible

summer or winter? Winter if there’s snow, but summer’s great too. idk

day or night? Night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? All of the above?

favorite month? October has the best weather

what is your zodiac sign? go away

who was the last person you cried in front of? My friend Josh (some of you might know him as medieval dude 1.0) because I went to see Rogue One with him

#the read more link screwed up the numbering oh well #I answer stuff

[theboysfromaustin]

May 1, 2021

Ian knocked on the door to Maureen's house, a small four-room home on the east side of Austin.  There was no response.  That worried him.  "Maureen?" No response to his call.  Something's not right.  He fished his keys from his pocket, finding the one to her house, and unlocked the door, stepping inside, and set the bag of food on the table in the kitchen, next to her phone.  "Maureen?"

He felt uneasy.

The lights were on in the bedroom.

Heart pounding in his chest, he stepped towards the door, hand on the knob.  "Maureen?" He opened the door.  Maureen was laying in bed, and Ian stepped forward.  "Maureen?  I brought you dinner.  Top Notch, your favorite." She didn't respond.  "Hey…" He touched her arm, then jumped back.  Her skin was cold to the touch.  "No…" He drew in a shuddering breath. "Maureen?  Get up…" Ian whimpered softly.  "You can't...you're my best friend…" He sat on the bed next to her.  "I'm sorry," he shut his eyes, beginning to sob.  "I'm so, so sorry.  I should have been here.  I failed you." He took her hand, stroking gently for several minutes.  He knew he had to call EMS.  He pulled out his phone and dialed 911.  "Yes, I need to report a...a death." He gave the address and sat there, blank for a moment before calling Kazuo. 

"Ian?" At that point he began bawling.  "Ian?!  Honey, talk to me, please." "I...I….I….Maureen…" Kazuo slumped into a chair.  Gav looked up.  "Kaz?  What's going on?" Kazuo stared at his phone.  "Maureen…" "Oh no...Did Ian…?" "Yeah.  He's not okay.  We should go." He and Gav stood, Gav grabbing his keys.

Ian ended the call as a knock came at the door.  "EMS!" He went to the door.  An ambulance and the coroner's van were parked out front. "Did you call?" "Yes," he replied quietly.  "She's in the bedroom." He slumped against the door, wiping his eyes.  One paramedic stopped.  "Are you okay, sir?" Ian glanced at him.  He was a young man with a large scar across his face and missing half of one ear.  He had kind eyes, and his name tag read W. THOMPSON.  "Yeah...it's...she was my oldest friend." "I'm sorry." He touched Ian's hand briefly before heading in with the rest of the team.

Ian stepped onto the front porch, sitting on the swing, staring at his hands.  He didn't look up as Gav pulled up at the curb.  "Ian!" The two came running up, sitting on either side of him. He was staring at the porch floor now, hands shaking.  "She's gone.  Almost 60 years….We'll never see her again." He began crying into his hands.  Kazuo wrapped his arm around Ian while Gav clung to his arm.  They let him sob, his whole body shaking while they cried quietly.  The paramedics began to finish up, bringing Maureen out.  This sent Ian into a renewed fit of grief, and he slumped into Kazuo's lap.  The scarred paramedic that had checked on him earlier stopped.

"Sir?" Ian looked up.  "If you need anything, my name is Wade Thompson." "Thank you," Ian said quietly.  The medical team left, leaving the three men on the porch.  "Now what?" Gav asked quietly.  Kazuo looked down at Ian, whose head was in his lap. "Let's get him home, into bed.  We gotta call Anders, too." Gav let Ian lean on him as he helped him into the back of the Aston Martin, Kazuo climbing in after him.  "We'll get my car later, it'll be fine here," Gav said softly. Ian wrapped his arms around his husband, whimpering.  "It's gonna be okay, she's with Shirley now," Kazuo soothed him, stroking his hair.

This got a wail of despair from him, "I…..I...told Shirley I'd look after her since they looked after me!  I'm a failure!" "Ian!" Kazuo looked worried, "You looked after Maureen like she was your own mother!" "But I…!" "Ian, she was 98," Kazuo said softly. His shoulders slumped, "I….I know.  But I wanted her to live longer...see young Ian grow up, and….Shirley…."

-----

 January 26, 1998

"Ian!" Her voice was weak as he entered, flowers in hand, her hand reaching towards him.  "Hey, Shirley, how are you feeling today?" He didn't let his voice betray the fear he felt, the ever-present fear this would be the last time he saw her.  The cancer had eaten at her bit by bit and the chemo wasn't working  He knew it, she knew it, and Maureen knew it.

It wouldn't be long now.

"Can't feel much worse, Ian.  Pull up that chair.". He did as he was told, taking her hand, "Where's Maureen?" "She had to pay the bills and shower, then she's bringing food." "Glad I came over, then.  I don't like the idea of you being alone too long." "Neither does she," Shirley admitted, going quiet for a moment.

"Ian, I…"

"Yes?" "Look at you, you've gone completely grey, it's been so long...and...you know that Maureen and I see you as our own son, right?" ,"And I see you two as my mothers." She squeezed his hand, "Good boy.  I need you to look after Maureen when I'm gone." "You can't go, though!" "We all know it.  I'm not gonna....," She trailed off, grimacing in pain, "This is my last request of you, Ian.

Be there for her since I can't."

-----

 "You did your job, Ian," Gav turned slightly in his seat as they pulled into the driveway.  "I think I want to go to bed." "Of course, Gav, can you…?" "Yeah.  C'mon, honey," the redhead led Ian inside, and up the steps, Kazuo pacing nervously around the first floor, thinking of calling Anders before he, too went up the stairs. Ian was facedown on the bed, shaking with sobs as Gav stroked his back.

Kazuo sat on the bed before laying diagonally across Ian's back so he could stroke his hair and speak softly to him, "You did everything.  You were a good son.  She knew that.  She loved you.  You loved her." Ian whined softly.  "You were so good to her.  Who drove her when she didn't anymore?" "I did." "Who made sure she had a fully stocked kitchen...but still brought her greasy burgers?" "I did." "Who paid for her utilities when social security wouldn't cover them….and who braved the ice storm to bring her over so she wouldn't be alone and cold?" "I did…"

"Then you didn't fail her.  You were the best adopted son she could have had." "I...I was…". He sat up, Kazuo still clinging to his back.  "And I did my best because I loved her.  And because I love her, I have to do what's right by her.  What she - and Shirley - would have wanted." "What's that?" Gav asked.  "I'll find an LGBTQ+ charity that can use the house.  I know what's in her will, I'm the executor." "There you go!" Kazuo dropped down and patted him on the back.  "Shirley... Maureen...this will keep their memory alive…" A small smile played at the corners of his mouth, feeling a bit better.

Gav and Kazuo embraced him on either side. "Remember when you first took me to meet her in the hospital?" "She loved you from that moment." "And how when she met me the day after you guys found me and immediately decided she needed to feed me?" "You did need feeding!" Ian wrapped his arms around them, "It's nice to remember the good times." "It's what she would want." "Yeah…" Ian said softly,

"She would have wanted us to remember her this way."

#oc #original character #death tw #tw death

[theboysfromaustin]

The Accident (poly AU) This one’s a touch...gruesome.

APRIL 2, 2006

11:30 PM

“Happy early birthday, my love.” “This was fantastic,” Ian said softly.  “I know.  And in a couple months we can come back for our second anniversary.” “Two years together….” “And many more to come.” Kazuo leaned up, kissing his boyfriend.  “And someday…..marriage.” Ian grinned.  “I can’t wait for that.” “Can’t wait to get you in a wedding dress, and…” “Kaz!”  Ian laughed, blushing heavily.  "Is that a no to the dress?" I'll think about it, sweetheart." The raven-haired man gave him a smirk, squeezing his hand.  “You ready to go home, babe?”

“Yeah, I’ve got court tomorrow,” he said reluctantly.  They got into Kazuo’s primer paint Tercel, getting on the road back to Austin from Bastrop.  Ian stroked Kazuo’s hair gently as he drove.  “I love you so much.” “I love you more.” “Impossible.”  Kazuo reached over, gently stroking Ian’s thigh.  “You should get some sleep, love.  You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”  “You sure?” “Yeah, the drive back is real straightforward.  I’ll put the radio on low to keep me up.”  He reached over, adjusting it to KROX 101.5.

“Alright.”  Ian leaned over, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  He put his seat back, settling in with a sigh.  Kazuo glanced over at him.  "You sleep well, my sweet." Kazuo smiled.  Alright, time to plan a spectacular birthday dinner for tomorrow night.  I gotta go get steak, potatoes….some high-dollar scotch….

 He grinned to himself.  And his other gift.  I have to pick that up tomorrow, too.  He'd bought Ian a gold ring inscribed with June 24, 2004 - their anniversary.  Tonight he'd given him a new pocketwatch.

He drove on for some time, past midnight.  He was approaching a four-way intersection, when he heard the rumble of a truck.

A truck that had no intention of stopping.

Kazuo immediately slammed on the brakes, throwing one arm across Ian's chest.  Ian!  I have to protect Ian at all costs!  He glanced at Ian, a panicked look on his face.  I can't let him get hurt.

The truck hit the driver's door square on.  Kazuo screamed on impact, as it rolled the Tercel over and over until it came to rest upright in a field.

----

Ian woke, very confused.  Blood dripped down his face, and he put one hand to his forehead.  It came back red and sticky.  “What….happened….?”  “Ian….”  The voice was very quiet.  He immediately looked over.  Kazuo sat there, dimly lit, face bloodied.  “I can’t…..can’t move my arm or leg, Ian….”

“Kazuo!” He unbuckled himself , scrambling out his door - which was easy, as the door was missing.  He raced around to Kazuo’s side and, in an adrenaline-fueled rush, ripped the mangled door off its last supports.  He knelt by Kazuo, tears in his eyes.  Behind him, he heard a car come to a stop.  “Hey, are you guys okay?!” “Call an ambulance!” He shouted.

He looked back at Kazuo.  His shirt was shredded, the left side of his abdomen torn up by the twisted metal.  But what was worse were his arm and leg.  They were mangled messes of muscle and bone, almost unrecognizable, the arm hanging on by shreds of flesh at the shoulder, and Ian had to choke back vomit.  “Oh, god….” “Looks pretty bad, doesn’t it?”  “Help is coming.  They’ll…..they’ll fix you!”  He began working, trying to unbuckle Kazuo.

“I’m tired, Ian.”

“Stay awake, at least until the ambulance comes.”  He freed him, and Kazuo slumped out into his arms.  Up close he could see how horrible his wounds were.  Oh god, oh god, oh god.  He’s gonna lose that arm and leg.  “I’m losing blood, Ian….”  His voice was weaker.  “You gotta…..you gotta hold off the arteries….”  “I…” “I feel like I’m dying, Ian.” “NO!  I’ll….I’ll see what I can do….”  He laid Kazuo out on the ground, searching with each hand, hands and arms getting coated in his partner’s blood.

He found them, and held them off.  In the distance, he could hear sirens.  “Ian.” “Yeah, Kaz?” “If I die…” “You’re not going to die!” "If I die, know that I love you no matter what." "You're not dying!" Kazuo smiled at him.  "You were always there for me…" His eye shut, and he went limp.

"Kazuo…?  Kazuo?!  Kazuo!" He put his ear to his chest. His heart was still beating, and Ian breathed a sigh of relief.  The sirens were right on them now, and he suddenly felt very tired.  Black spots danced at the edge of his vision, and he slumped over just as the EMTs reached them.

He awoke in the hospital, a nurse checking his IV.  "Pardon me…" His voice was quiet, and she looked down.  "Oh, you're awake!  Good!" "My partner, Kazuo…." She smiled.  "He's doing fine.  The surgeries were a success." "Surgeries?" "To remove his arm and leg.  He's in the next room, but he's not awake yet.  You'll be released soon, and you can go see him."

Ian breathed a sigh of relief.  He's alive.  Thank god, he's alive.  He shut his eyes.  He's alive, but….his arm and leg.  This was…

A tear rolled down his cheek.

This was all my fault.

#oc #original character

[theboysfromaustin]

Chicago.  2005.

"This the cemetery?" "Yeah." Ian pulled in, Kazuo staring out the window.  "It's...right around here." Ian pulled to a stop, the three of them getting out.  "That way...I'm pretty sure…" "You're pretty sure?" Anders asked.  "Yeah….I was never allowed to get out.  My dad locked me in the car while he visited." "What?!" "Yeah.  He only cared about her.  I was just...this thing he had to pretend to care about.  Then when she died, I just was the brat he had to take care of because she wanted him to." Ian put one hand on his shoulder.  "Let's go find her." They walked along the row, until they came to a stone under a large tree.  Kazuo stopped.  "Hey, mom." They all knelt down.  "I know it's….been a while.  But I wanted to introduce you to some people.  This is my partner, Ian, and our son, Anders.  I know…" He drew in a hitching breath.  "I know I just...ran off...but I got the opportunity to be free from dad, and I KNOW you love him but he was just such a bastard that I couldn't….I couldn't…." He was crying now, and Ian embraced him gently.

"HEY!  Who are you people and what are you doing at my wife's grave?!"

Ian felt Kazuo stiffen immediately, then shrink back into his grasp.  An older Japanese man was making his way towards them, carrying an oxygen machine.  "It's him…" Kazuo said quietly, voice shaking.  "He...he...he'll…." "He won't do anything to you, Kaz." Ian wrapped his arms protectively around his partner and Anders stepped in front of them.  "You know that long scar on my back, Ian? Kazuo asked softly.  "Yeah…" "He did that to me after I unlocked and got out of the car once.  I was six. He beat me with the buckle end of a belt.  I wound up in the hospital again." Ian rested his head on Kazuo's, drawing him in closer.  He glared at the man as he stopped in front of them, who glared back.  "Who are you people?" "Nobody that concerns you," Anders said.

"Boy," Kazuo's father snapped, "You let the adults speak." He reached out, shoving Anders.  "Hey!" Ian snarled, eyes blazing.  "Don't you dare touch our son!" "Your….son? You two?  People like you can't…"  He trailed off as he got a good look at Kazuo, and he stepped back.  "YOU." Kazuo whimpered softly.  "You've got some nerve, even showing your face around here!  What do you think you were doing, running off like that?!" "I….I…" "He doesn't belong to you!" Ian snapped.  "Who are you, even?!  Was it you that made my stupid son a…." And he unleashed a torrent of horrible slurs.  Kazuo buried his face in Ian's chest with a whine.

"DON'T TALK TO MY DADS THAT WAY!"

Anders jumped in between the two opposing groups.  "This doesn't concern you!" "The hell it doesn't!" Kazuo's father raised his hand to strike Anders, but Kazuo jumped forward, taking the blow instead.  He was knocked to the ground.  "KAZUO!" Kazuo struggled to his feet.  "It's been a long time since you hit me, you bastard." "You stupid little fruit.  You and this old fuck you're with, and this bastard son of yours…" Kazuo stood, swaying unsteadily.  "If you keep talking shit about my boyfriend and son, I'm gonna beat the fucking shit outta you." "You don't have the guts." "Kazuo!" "I'm okay, love." He straightened up.  "You should have died.  Not mom.  You used me as an outlet for your anger at her death.  You beat the shit out of a defenseless child.  More than once."  Ian stepped up next to Kazuo.  "You need to leave." Anders moved up next to his father.  Kazuo's father stepped backwards.  "You three can't tell me what to do!" "We can.  You've assaulted my partner - your son.  He's bleeding.  I'm an attorney." A sly grin crossed Ian's face.  "Kazuo?" "Yes, Ian?" Kazuo smiled, knowing what was about to happen.  "Would you like to call the police so we can press charges on this man?" 

"Yes."

 "Wait, I...you…" Kazuo's father stepped backwards, a panicked look on his face.  "I...I…." He began to hyperventilate, hand to his chest, and he dropped his oxygen machine.  "I…Ambulance…" Kazuo looked to Ian, who pulled his phone out and punched in 911.  "Yes, hello?  I'm at Oakwood cemetery, and there's a man here having chest pains, or a panic attack or something.  Yes, I'll wait with him." Ian snapped the phone shut, and crossed his arms.  Kazuo's father was on his knees.  "Are you going to ever hurt your son again?" "N...no…" "Are you going to let him visit with his mother?" "Y...y...yes!" ",Good, good," Anders said.  Kazuo just stared at his father, lip curled in disgust.  

"Kazuo."

He looked to Ian.  "You can go visit with your mother.  We'll watch….him." Kazuo nodded, then walked to her grave.  "Sorry about that, mom.  I wish….I wish I could have said goodbye.  I wish he'd let me come to the funeral.  Let me visit your grave.  If….if he'd let me learn how to grieve…" He stopped as the ambulance arrived.  "Just know that I love you.  And that I have people who love me now.  A boyfriend….who I hope to make my husband one day.  And our wonderful adopted son." He smiled.  "I wish you could have met them." He stepped away, back towards Ian and Anders.  "Son...my son…." Kazuo's father reached out towards him. Kazuo looked away. 

"I'm not his son.  He's mistaking me for his son."

"Are you okay?" Ian asked quietly. "Yeah.  I've made my peace." He smiled at Ian, slinging one arm around Anders.  "I love you both." "Love you too, dad." "Love you, Kaz." Ian looked to his mother's grave.  "Don't worry.  I'll take care of your son.  And your grandson." Kazuo wrapped his other arm around Ian.  "I'm glad I have both of you.  Well, mom….This is my family now.  I just...I wish…

I wish you could be here with us."

#oc #original character