#just made me Understand how it's Supposed To Be. and i think thats kinda cool?

[kohakhearts]

when people first meet me and inquire about my studies im generally hit with two different responses, being 1) “wow, that’s an unusual combination”/“you don’t see that often”/etc. and 2) “you must be SO smart!” (or its evil twin, “you must hate yourself ha-ha”), and while the first is obviously a better response than the second, both are kinda…awkward to react to.

like? IS it an unusual combination of interests, or is it actually that most institutions make it exceptionally difficult for people to pursue stem and arts concurrently? and that we don’t often talk about the heavy crossover between stem and the arts because we’re so culturally obsessed with this notion that the world is split into Art People and Science People (also known as English People and Math People)?

and how would my interest in a science make me any smarter than someone in my program who chose to pursue a minor in history instead of physics? also, NO, i don’t hate myself. obviously taking stem classes after spending years believing im “not a math person” has lowered my gpa, but that’s not really something i care about, because at the end of the day i find the subject endlessly fascinating and i enjoy my classes very much, and i get better at math every semester because i have no choice. because it’s just…a method of communication. it’s a language. you practice, you improve - but you have to be consistent and intentional about it. the same way you have to be consistent and intentional about analyzing fictional texts and historical documents.

which is to say that like. you are using the same skills. i tutored a high school student last year who looked at me like i was crazy for saying that close reading a short story is functionally the same as solving an algebra problem. you collect like terms. then you compare and contrast them to make a statement about them - it’s human nature to seek refuge in what is familiar even if it is simultaneously traumatic, or x = 2 and y = -2. you can chart it, you can graph it, you can draw it. listen, isn’t there something so inherently beautiful about the word integral? it’s something intrinsic, baked into a person or a thing - the fundamental values formed within you by tiny, infinitesimal pieces: moments, experiences - they coalesce into something completely different, but still. you can go back. you can find the pieces. define them, pick them apart, put them together again in new ways. expand them, contract them, equate them to something else just to understand them.

half the study of mathematics is called analysis, for god’s sake. what is the study of art if not analysis? is it not the goal of the artist, the writer, to make sense of our place in the world? and is this not what we do in physics, too? look at the world and try to find reason in it? as the poet spends their life trying to make the intangible tangible, the particle physicist attempts to study dark matter. when we form a sentence, we utilize a complex system of equations that are so second-nature to us we don’t even register that’s what we’re doing - but there’s a reason this branch of linguistics is called syntactic calculus.

like…believe me. if you told my teenage self i’d be taking calculus-based courses in university, i wouldn’t have believed it. i teach high school students now who tell me they know they aren’t good at english, but it doesn’t matter to them because they do so well in math. and i get it. i do. but it’s disappointing, too, because i think my knowledge of math has made me a better reader and writer. and it feels like most people are missing out on that connection, because they feel like it’s impossible to make. but any experimentalist can tell you there’s an art to the scientific process. any musician or poet can tell you that great art is dictated by numbers - rhythm, rhyme and metre, all of it. the only group of people as interested in conceptual symmetry as physicists are artists.

anyway, all i’m saying is like - one is not more essential than the other, these things are inextricably linked, these things are as fundamental to human existence as breathing. there’s a reason why astronomers defer to shakespeare to name newly discovered bodies in space, you know? we've all gotta learn to love the math in our art and the artistry behind math.

#taylor.txt #anyway i have some profs this semester who really made me feel idk. vindicated in a way #like i get this so often you know? i get Looks i get 'you're crazy' and 'what's wrong with you' (in jest granted but still) ALL the time #so having a professor straight-up say that science is an art? validating!!!! #i think english and physics are extremely compatible subjects because they have a similar goal in a way you know? #and im not a good artist but nothing helped me understand HOW i can be better at drawing than calculus #i never knew how to draw a sphere until i had to put one on a graph of a 3d function yknow? and looking at the numbers that govern it #just made me Understand how it's Supposed To Be. and i think thats kinda cool? #also like. again. LINGUISTICS #and dont think this is like. in any way against the ideas of abstraction and subversion and whatnot in art #chaos right? antimatter? the entire study of quantum mechanics? there are so many parallels to draw #obviously nothing is a 1:1 but i just. art is science science is art and its so fuckin COOL

[vroerry]

Hi. So, to start, i dont know the difference between oneshot and short fanfic, im not used to those words yet, im sorry ;n; so make it whichever one of those two you feel like and would have fun with! Id like a nice little story to read, not just headcanons alone if possible.

Ive been thinking about this idea that takes place after Kazuichi Soda gets yelled at by Sonia in the Dangan 2 game, and they all storm off in their own directions. But then, reader tries to go comfort Kaz and one thing leads to another~

I suppose a touch of angst would be appropriate for such a story, but i dont want it to be just that, or too focused on that. Thats the lead up to the NSFW, which is the focus.

Reader goes and finds Kaz in the night after everyone went seperate ways, comforts him, they talk, hes probably a bit snippy, but then calms down. These 2 were buddies, not dating, but then all the ~stuff~ happens, and, you get the rest. Sexy stuff ought to cheer the man up lol. You fill out the "how" of this scenario. Howd they end up in bed? Have fun with it.

Im sure reader would feel bad for Kaz, not wanting him to be in distress. Maybe reader has been secretly pining for Kaz, but that doesnt HAVE to be a detail, im kinda making this all up quickly, throwing in lots of details, and you decide what sticks~ The others on the island didnt see each other for the rest of that night, so they could definitely get alone time no problem. Maybe after he calms down a bit, reader comes up behind him and hugs him, sweet and somber.

Idk about location, because the others would be in their cottages, but the motel should be free at this point, so maybe there so they can be loud and not care.

Can i PLEASE have reader taking kaz's hat the morning after because her hair is so messed up, like "gimmi that shit, your hair looks fine as hell, im the mess today i need hat." Maybe something in the end about them trying to act natural the next day around the others, you know? Perhaps some hickeys gave it away or somethin, whatever you think up and wanna write is cool.

Gender neutral or female reader is cool if ya dont mind. And idk what genre to label it as like you asked in your rules. Slight angst with mostly NSFW? Idk how to genre, i apologize ;-;

Thank you for reading, i look forward to your future works, whatever youre inspired to do is cool. Take it easy<3 ~Tiara👑

I'm so freaking sorry for the wait😭 My life took a heavy turn, but I'm fine now!

When I tell you I took my sweet time to play around with this scenario~

Also, difference between short fanfic and oneshots: It might be made up by me??? For me a short fanfic is multiple parts, 10 at tops, each part being around 1600 words at least?? So the entire fic is maximum around 16k words.

But now, to the fanifc:

A comforting touch

Kazuichi Souda x fem reader, NSFW

words: 1380

Another day on the islands, another day to end in chaos. Just the usual Jabberwock Island drama in the middle of a damned killing game.

Everything was fine, everything was going well, until Kazuichi decided to express his love for Sonia again. And this time, it did not end well. And you were the one that was in charge of finding Kazuichi. Again.

"Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Hajime asked you and sent you off on your way.

"I will!" you replied and took went on a journey to find your buddy. Ever since you've ended up in this situation, he made you weirdly comforted. His goofiness, his fun aesthetic, everything. Except for when he was driving Sonia, and after that everyone else, insane. Even you struggled to understand his obsession with her, but brushed it off. It's his business not yours. It's his business not yours...

When you started looking for him, the sun was still up, but soon the moon took his place on the sky with the stars and you were completely clueless about his whereabouts.

"Let's see..." you thought to yourself. "What did I miss...?" The locations quickly ran through your head. Library, check. Theater, check. Cottages, check. First island entirely? Check.

"The motel!" you said out loud. "Well, I doubt he'd be there but... it's worth a shot" you wondered and decided to give it a go. You made your way to the third island and immediately headed for the motel. The abandoned looking building looked the same as ever, and the smell of musk was just as strong as before. You slowly opened the door and called out to the seemingly empty building.

"Kaz? Are you here...?" you walked inside and started looking around. "I just want to make sure you're okay, bud... I've been looking for you for hours..."

No response.

You continued to walk around the dusty place, stopping every now and then in front of doors.

"Kazu? Please be here, I have no other idea where to look for you... We can do whatever you want... Just be okay..."

Still nothing.

You sighed.

"Fuck, maybe I was wrong..." with a heavy heart you started to get to the exit. "I hope he's alright..." as you started walking away, a door behind you opened. You quickly turned back to see Kazuichi standing in the doorway.

His hair was the usual mess, he cried his eyeliner off.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Were you that worried?"

"It's okay! Oh god, I finally found you..." you said and went back to him. "Thank god you're okay... Would a hug be okay?"

"Yeah..." he replied and you wrapped your arms around him and so did he.

"It's going to be okay... I promise, Kaz... You'll apologise to her tomorrow and everything will be fine..."

"I will..." Kazuichi said. "I... i went overboard... I didn't want to upset her..." he slowly let go of you.

"I suppose... You don't want to go back there, right?" He shook his head in response.

"I don't want to be near anyone right now... Well, aside from you, I guess... But if you don't want to stay, you can go back..."

"No, it's fine" you brushed the offer off. "I'll stay here with you... I promised the others and myself that I'd keep an eye on you..."

"Alright then.. I guess... we can stay here..."

"Do you... uh... want to talk about everything that happened..?" you ask. He stays silent for a bit.

"Let's sit down..." he said and went back to the room he was hiding in. You followed him.

He sat on the bed and gently tapped the space next to him.

"C'mere... Let's have a... chat..." he smiled at you gently and rested his back against the wall. You sat next to him with a curious look as he speaks up.

"So... I know I fucked up... Miss Sonia didn't deserve that" he mumbles, looking down with a guilty expression. "But at the same time.. I... don't really know how else to show her how I feel... My parents never really... taught me how to handle emotions... But it doesn't matter now... She's got real close with that demon lord or whatever he calls himself"

"Kaz..." you sigh. "I know, rejection sucks but... I'm sure you're going to find someone that knows how to take care of you, someone who loves you for you..." you smile at him and pat his shoulder. "Even if that person isn't Sonia... There must be someone out there.."

"Where?" Kazuichi frowns. "I won't ever find my match and you know it... I'm like that one sock at the bottom of the drawer, always lonely and"

You suddenly press your lips on his, making him shut up in the middle of his dialogue.

"That someone is right here, Kaz..." you whisper to his lips. "I may or may not destroy our friendship but I don't care... I am that person..."

"Man... what since when why..." he starts asking every question that comes into his mind. Nonetheless, you quickly. make sure he stays silent.

"Just shut up and enjoy the moment" you kiss his soft lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. Pulling him close, not letting him escape your touch.

Kazuichi's eyes slowly flutter close, as he kisses you back, letting himself go under your touch.

Your hands start to wander around his chest. Slowly caressing each spot through his overall then zipping it down to reach under it...

"Are you surre this is a good idea?" he breathed out.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes" he whispered.

"Then yes..." you kissed his lips again. "It is a good idea.." You smiled and slowly tugged his overal off his chest.

You now began placing passionate kisses all over him. Starting right under his ears, steadily working your way down his neck, stopping at the collarbone and then repeating the said path in reverse. Now going up, every now and then gently sucking on his skin, leaving hickeys. He let out soft sighs of pleasure, his eyes fluttering after each kiss.

"Let me take care of you too" he tried to switch things up but you stopoped him with a firm expression.

"I am the one comforting you" you took your shirt off, making him blush and his eyes lit up in excitement.

"Actually...Keep going" he said with sparkling eyes, as you went down on him with a sly smile. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, making sure all of your love went through. All the love, admiration, and comfort. Everything that was boiling inside you whenever you thought about Kazuichi But despite your order, his hands began wandering too. Pushing your clothes down, guiding you into his lap.

"Ride me" he pleaded.

"Any time" you replied and began grinding your hips. Back and forth in his lap. Kazu groaned, feeling the pressure of yourbody. His patience on edge, his mind wishing for the clothes to disappear. Both of you bit down on your lips to keep the silence. , Trembling, shaky breaths leaving his mouth he spoke up again.

"We can be as loud as we want... Just please ride me already" he pleaded again, whining under you. He was so on edge, so impatient. So ready for everything to come crashing down.

"I’ll get right to the point, I promise...” you continued to rock yourself back and forth, putting more and more pressure on his body. Even you started to tremble and placed your hands on his chest for support. Gently grabbing onto his small pecks, feeling muscle tensening at your touch. 

"Don't just promise me. Do it"

The next morning the two of you were walking back to the first island. Hand in hand, smiling as the sun was coming up.

"So.... We're together?"Kazuichi asked.

"I am not sure" you replied. "All I know is that..."

The two of you entered the first island. You quickly grabbed his hat and placed it on your head.

"That I need your stupid hat... My hair is a mess..."

"Mine too!" he tried to get his hat back.

"Yours is alway a mess, Kazu. Mine not" you giggled. He rolled his eyes.

"Love you dork,.. And your comforting touch..."

#danganronpa #danganronpa x yn #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #sdr2 kazuichi #kazuichi x reader #souda x reader #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #sdr2 #danganronpa x reader #kazuichi smut

[hairscare]

i dont know anything ab vivziepoop or whatever her name is and her work but could you give some examples and like. maybe explain how far they are from actual demonology? i love haterisms and i love learning things

kisses you on the mouth id love nothing more than to spread hate and infodump abt demonology. let me preface this by saying ive never watched any of their content so i cant speak on much besides what ive absorbed via osmosis of being on the internet and what i can see in their designs

so my special interest has always been on the 7 Princes of Hell aka the 7 Deadly Sins so thats what I'm gonna focus on. I'm also gonna bring beloved otome game Obey Me into the mix for another example of modern interpretations of them. also keep in mind im not a believer in these figures, though my research comes from both christian and pagan sources, i just like them a lot

so lets start with Mammon, the prince of greed. mammon is always depicted as a very money and power hungry kinda guy. in heaven, he was so obsessed with the golden pavement that they kicked his ass out first. hes super powerful and has 6,660,000 demons under his control that he makes build the capital of hell called Pandemonium. im not making this up demonology is silly as hell. hes associated with wealth, gold, jewels and emperors.

you may be surprised by this interpretation from the dictionaire infernal, but from my understanding/perspective, i believe this is supposed to be a lure to get more money as a begger? normally hes described as decked out in robes and gold and jewels and all that. but you can see in the illustration the bags of money.

so yeah hes like a super money hungry emperor type- in my mind i always kinda think of trump ngl. power hungry, money hungry, you get it. so if youre like me, for a character design, youre thinking a ceo with lots of expensive clothes and jewelery.

now, lets see what our friend viv has to say-

... they made him.... a clown? keep in mind, i literally know nothing abt the role he plays in the show, but... why? why is he a clown? if anything, him being a jester is the opposite of the typical emperor depiction. like a king vs a court fool. completely erases the whole idea of his greed for power. part of that greed is that he already has it but he wants more! this jester angle doesnt make sense.

okay, now lets look at obey me. theres a lot of things i dont like abt obey me's interpretations, but theyre so much better than vivs.

first of all, the white hair and blue eyes are actually accurate! the colored illustration above of begger mammon is actually colored wrong, hes often described as having very light hair and icy blue eyes. this interpretation of mammon, while yassified from the old man and the emperor, is fairly faithful. hes obsessed with money, hes constantly stealing money from other people, he wears the most expensive designer brands, and he has gambling issues. its not perfect, but hes clearly based on the demon mammon.

now Asmodeus. asmodeus has always been my favorite. hes the Prince of Lust, but he himself isnt horny. he teaches people Forbidden Arts and Crafts and also geometry, hes a disabled king (walks w two walking sticks), he likes messing with people and he hates the smell of fish liver. one time he threw someone 400 leagues and stole his identity. what a guy

asmodeus is particularly monstrous. hes got 3 heads, a bull, a demon, and a ram, hes got a duck bottom, and he has a dragon cat service animal. i think hes beautiful <3 but you can see a lot of potential symbols you can incorporate into a design! all these animals, esp his three heads, are just waiting for a cool design. so vivs, whatd you do?

... okay. hes... kinda got the heads, but its the cowards route. he has... that weird ass body that vivs loves to give men. theres... some feathers so he kinda has bird symbolism? im pretty sure he owns a casino, which is actually accurate. but like. thats #notmyasmodeus. this guy couldnt throw me 1 league if he tried. hes not monstrous looking at all. his legs are thinner than my patience.

since we couldnt really dissect viv's mammon, ill bring this up here. a big issue i have with these designs is that theyre afraid to make demons ugly on purpose. dont get me wrong theyre all ugly as hell. but not gross. not monstrous. these sanitized tumblr sexymen designs completely betray what makes the original designs so fun. asmodeus doesnt have 3 heads, he has one that looks like an evil sesame street character. the design is simultaneously trying way too hard and so fucking generic. literally if you take out the two tiny head motifs in his... hair? theres no indication that this is based on the demon asmodeus

okay, lets look at obey me.

again, hes sanitized, hes conventionally attractive, and he doesnt have any of the demon asmodeus' symbolism. hes also super horny. he doesnt do geometry or arts and crafts or even own a casino. not faithful to the source at all.

before you accuse me of being a hypocrite for liking obey me, hold on. let me get through beelzebub.

Beelzebub is known for being "lord of the flies". its literally what his name means. i cannot emphasize enough that he has fly motifs. he is the Prince of Gluttony, aka overindulgence. its typically associated with food. but beelzebub is *extremely* powerful. in Paradise Lost, hes Lucifer/Satans right hand man. all other demons respect him immensely. hes supposed to be so powerful that summoning him is supposed to run a high risk of seizures and death. he also fucking loves architecture. when a ton of demons were called on by solomon to build, the other demons were so appauled that beelzebub was being made to do manual labor, but his crazy ass was giving solomon building advice

hes a bug! hes big beautiful bug. the crowd cheers. so the motif is kinda obvious here. i mean, its kinda hard to miss it, right-

what the fuck. what the actual fuck. "but grim shes got a bee motif-" shut the fuck up. this... fox? wolf? furry thing needs to be put down asap. i genuinely think theyre using beelzebub as an bad excuse to introduce their kesha dog character. bro what the fuck thats not a fucking bug. thats not even a goddamn bee. i hate it here

i cant do this anymore show me obey me.

hes a fucking fly thank god. sure hes conventionally attractive but hes not a dog with the smallest waist ive ever seen and disproportionate birthing hips. he eats all the time bc hes gluttony. okay fine whatever as long as hes a fucking bug im ok

so. lets address why i like obey me and i hate vivziepops interpretations. first of all i just fucking hate vivziepop so jot that down. but more importantly, obey me doesnt pretend to be anything it isnt. its a dating sim. of course the characters are gonna be hot and fit into archetypes. ive made my peace with that. besides, the game actually makes their sins pretty interesting by showing how they affect their personalities, motivations, relationships and lifestyles. its not super faithful, but its not supposed to be.

but helluva boss isnt trying to do that. from my (admittedly limited) understanding of it, its supposed to be a dark comedy gritty adult animation. the characters are supposed to be questionable and unconventional because theyre literally in hell. so i ask the question: why are they so afraid to lean into that with their character designs? why does everyone have to have barbie proportions? why is no one (purposefully) unpleasant to look at or monstrous? its sad to see a creator trying so hard to make something thats supposed to be graphic and brazen in its depiction of hell and demons, and yet is afraid to actually confront the conventionally unappealing aspects of the source material, or even touch the motifs of the demons

i love the 7 princes of hell. if you want to read about the strangest characters with the oddest stories, symbols and trivia, go read some websites about them. none of it makes sense. lucifer and satan are the same person but also not and sometimes the other 5 are also the same guy. belphegor is in love with paris and is the infernal ambassador to france and has a toliet wheelchair. satan is depressed. lucifer is sometimes depicted as an whiny brat child and sometimes as a humongous terrifying beast. leviathan does jack shit and just boils the ocean and eats boats. its literally so much fun. also please feel free to add onto this! demonology is fun in part bc theres so many different interpretations and facts from all over the place that make it a wild ride

tldr: vivziepops designs are lazy and unadventurous when it comes to their source materials

#hair scares #demonology #long post #vivziepop tw

[irrigos]

been thinking about motr again (as is my wont) and i think one of my complaints about it is that i think it's kind of weird that no one is antisemitic??

not that im like. "boo i wish there was more bigotry in the world!!" or smth lmao. it's just that it feels like maybe there was supposed to be some but then they chickened out

like. archie is accused of murdering david, and we know immediately that he didnt do it because he's our friend (and also thats just how stories work.) but i still dont understand why everyone else is so convinced he did it, when they never bother to give him a motive

when I heard the pitch for motr, I had assumed the motive would be bigotry. even if archie himself isnt antisemitic, it would make sense for Harjit or David or anyone who thinks archie did it to at some point go "well the victim was a marginalized person, so we just assume the motive was bigotry" but no one ever says that, even as just. a possibility?? but they ALSO dont have a different, stronger motive for Archie to have done it?? if Archie and David had some sort of enmity, this probably wouldn't be a problem at all, but since they dont have anything, it really feels like the only possible motive would have been prejudice, and yet no one will ever say it, even as a possibility that gets refuted

it just seems really weird to me!! ive posted before about how i understand why FBG writes stuff the way they do (writing period-accurate bigotry isnt like. fun. and also i dont think it would be commercially successful, especially if you want to court an audience of non-bigots) but it just kinda. lacked some verisimilitude for me on this one, especially because they made such a big thing about how much research they were doing and how they were consulting experts so they could write their first explicitly Jewish characters in the universe?? like... did you guys just. forget. why did you even bother researching that much when it's never really part of the story?

(also, my incredibly minor complaint is that i think its a missed opportunity to not have one of the Landaus comment on how golems are real apparently. like sure i guess they never actually cross paths with Moss but. yknow... cmon)

anyway this is also just kind of a matter of taste, because i know that bigotry free fantasty worlds are very popular with some people, and i definitely get the appeal!!! it just does very little for me, especially in what is technically a period piece. for me personally, it doesnt hit as like "oh cool a fun fantasy world that im welcome in :3" it just comes across (TO ME) as. very fake

.... but actually now that ive written the whole post, i think the real problem is that they forgot to give archie even a POSSIBLE motive, but also wouldnt suggest, even as a possibility that gets refuted, the most obvious motive, which wouldn't even require them to change any of the story beats at ALL. its just a really weird writing decision and i don't get it

#motr posting #motr spoilers #as always theres the possibility that this does come up and i just never got it #but its odd to me that you never really get to suggest that as a possible motive for the murder #especially since rachel says stuff that suggests that antisemitism is still like. real in this universe #but also the only example i can remember of her saying a hardship she experienced bc shes jewish was her also jewish family #thinking shes not orthodox enough??? #weird writing decisions imo!!!! very odd. it doesnt really hang together imo

[georgespaniel]

this is me speaking frankly about my thoughts on all of this because i've been really struggling over the past 2 days because of the matty shit and it hurts. i will admit i feel conflicted over this which i hate and if you feel similar or want to tell me to shut the fuck up feel free but i think talking about it and getting out my system will help. this is rambly, incoherent, kinda personal and quite long so feel free to ignore but i just want it out there.

i think i am very parasocial with matty and that makes me want to excuse him far more than i should, and i'm willing to admit that is a flaw. i want to be in denial and tell myself that this is all just a big bit and he's not really like that but how the fuck am i supposed to know that? i keep telling myself that he is better than this and he doesn't actually believe any of this but realistically i know nothing about this man other than what he shows us, and what he showed on that podcast was really shitty. i can't keep excusing his shitty behaviour, before i just thought of him as a loveable asshole but he's turning more and more into just a straight up asshole.

i feel like people on both sides of this debate are being way too loud because it's a lot more nuanced than either 'he has committed every -ism under the sun and is a terrible bigot' or 'he's done nothing wrong lol you're just a fake fan that's his humour' and i hate that no one can just have a conversation about this. i've seen and spoken to a few people on anon about it and it's been much nicer so i appreciate this tumblr community for being so nice even though this blog has only existed for like a week lmao.

i have loved matty since 2015 and my love was really reignited back in November and it's made these past few months so good for me, i saw them live and made 15 year old me's dream come true and i think i was kinda waiting for it to all go to shit so i feel like i shouldn't be surprised but i still am.

it hurts that a man who has been so vocal about supporting women and condemning bigotry and toxic masculinity can't stop himself from participating in such unnecessary low blow humour for some cool points. like i don't really give a shit if it's satire and all a big bit, the words are still harmful and they still fucking hurt.

like it's so frustrating because in my head i want to believe he is better than this!!! he has been so vocal in the past and that goddamn brit award speech he made just doesn't seem like the same person who was in that interview. but once again how am i supposed to know that. maybe he's an absolute prick behind closed doors.

i don't feel like what was done was egregious but he was clearly happily complicit in it and thats what makes me so uncomfortable. it's such shitty punch down humour that is completely unnecessary, like yeah its a joke or whatever but its such a shit joke that is only funny because its something they know will never happen to them. even if the hosts are minorities themselves it doesn't give them the right to make such shitty racist remarks and especially for privileged white boy matty to be joining in with them.

i think its poe's law that goes something like 'if your attempt at satire is indistinguishable from the person you are mocking you are no better than them'. like even if he isn't a bigot he sure is fucking sounding like one and it pisses me off. and i have seen people who definitely are bigots laughing at this shit and feeling validated by it. if people who genuinely believe that shit are laughing and agreeing with you then you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you are saying.

he has no ability to understand when to shut his mouth and understand that his opinion isn't fucking needed. oh great yet another rich privileged white man's opinions, exactly what the world fucking needs.

i feel like he could maybe redeem himself is he showed even an ounce of self reflection and realisation that he has genuinely hurt people, if he actually apologised or fucking did anything to acknowledge the shitty stuff he has done, but he never does!!!! he never does because he can get away with it because people keep letting him get away with it.

and yet despite all that a small part of me still wants to love him and its been tearing me apart. i considered myself to have very strong morals and this goes against so many of them. i'm not sure if it's the parasocial attachment or the comfort he has brought me over the years but i really don't want to lose that, but that sacrifices my own morals to do that (am i being too sensitive, am i too morally black and white, is what i am feeling valid, am i a bad person for thinking this???)

i hate the fact that every time i try to listen to their music or i see the videos that used to make me feel so happy i just feel sick. i want to feel comforted and happy like i used to but now i just think about him and feel upset, i don't want him to be that person i so desperately don't but i don't know anymore and i don't know what to do.

i hate the fact that i can't form my own opinions and i am so influenced by what other people say, i am so desperate for someone to valdiate me but two people have told me it's okay and i still feel sick. i want someone to tell me how to feel about this but when they do i can't accept it. i love him and i hate him so much and those feelings can't get on with each other. it just really really fucking sucks.

#matty healy #the 1975

[samstarium]

What are your classpect headcanons for the omega kids?

ooh ooh ok! so im goin off the theory that the omega kids will "fill in" all the classes and aspects we only have 2 canon players for atm (aka no other humans have them yet)

i talked abt this a bit in a server so im gonna copy over my ideas!! autistic ramblings below

the one that interests me the most atm is vrissy bc theres the assumption she'll b a standard serket and this a light player, but it would b cool to kill the theory that all descendants need have the same aspect. personally i would love for her to stay a thief but b mindbound instead. for a couple reasons

one hs^2 (or hsbc, or whatever) and especially the candy route is abt how the world and thr characters in it have deviated from The Canon and havin vrissy keep her ancestoral title but on the class side instead is like a fun way to show that. its like oh this is not how its supposed to work is it. two i think tyin her to terezi in a way is kinda interesting. bc there's some parallels that could b made (vriska searchin for a scourge sister replacement, vrissy's relationship w/ harry anderson as a mirror for terezi and john?) but it would have to b explored a bit more since she still hasn't been in the canon for very long

as for the others i rlly want tavvy to b rage… i have him as a sylph but im not married to that. i would rlly love to have a male sylph tho! i think his sensibilities could work nicely, and we already have some (if brief) content of him interactin w/ kanaya (https://homestuck2.com/story/336) so there's potential to strengthen their connections and parallels.

for rage like ofc the purple and gamzee shit and everything puts that in my mind automatically but also. as a contrast to his hope parent and his maid parent. bein a sylph of rage just creates such delicious symmetry. hard to see a sylph-y personality just yet but it's a possibility imo, n rage i think can b interpreted from the gamzee corpse shenanigans

harry anderson im unsure of but w/ what we have i suppose bard of doom could work ok. it would b nice to have a bard who wasnt um. Well. yknow. and show some other parts of the class that weren't represented in the 2 canon bards. there's the obvious connection and punnery involving his affinity for musical theater, and his laissez faire approach to life could serve bard functions.

doom… eh. yea idk abt that but i'll take a stab at it. on a thematic level if sollux's doom craft motif is coding, havin his be stitching is kind of cool. like the connection to binary code in thread (https://www.tumblr.com/swords-n-spindles/625244898586755072/the-fibre-stuff-moiraecrochet-synebluetoo) idk. but on a more conceptual level his upbringing could give him some connections to doom, living with roxy who for the longest time was entrenched in the jane propaganda machine (harry as anti-life?).

w/ yiffy left she takes mage of blood. mage kinda iffy since the canon mages r pretty different and only one gives us much to work w/. one thing i will say on mages tho is that both of them r missin a certain sense: sollux sees no evil, meulin hears no evil, and yiffy? well i'd say she doesn't rlly "talk", at least not yet in the traditional sense, so we can complete the proverb and have her as the third mage who speaks no evil

but blood is a lot clearer. blood, bonds, connections, relationships? thats like the whole conflict of her character. i think phrasin it as yiffy "knowing" blood is kind of fun. bc she probably does have a very keen understanding of the complex relationships between the ppl around her (jane and jake and gamzee im sure she knew much of). also the literal connection of blood to her fangs, and cementing the parallels of her and karkles as blood brothers (lol)

#ask #anonymous #sorry this took a bit to answer!! #homestuck #hs^2 #hsbc #classpect

[bobapplesimblr]

Get to Know Me

(useless info edition!)

I was tagged by @prossims !! Thanks!!

1. What do you have under your bed?

Boxes of winter clothes! Which rn I’ll have to switch out and put the summer clothes in instead.

2. Favorite candy? (be very specific if possible)

Candy candy I like these heart shaped lollipops that I got from the Tiger store (they sell a lot of stuff including house stuff, art supplies, craft supplies, decorations, etc.) that are raspberry flavored. If I can include chocolate then it’s all about the Reeses peanut butter cups yall.

3. Describe your favorite shirt:

I have a few! My favorite shirts/sweaters are:

A dark blue long tshirt that says “L'océan Pacifique” that I got YEAARSSSS ago from Lidl(its similar to Aldi). I like it cause it’s just long enough to be worn as a kind of very short dress, and it helps with my fear of my shirts lifting/ridding up without me noticing, since this one is so long i dont have that problem, and the material is also super soft!

A black tshirt with a funky yellow moon design on it. Again the fabric is really nice and it’s just really comfy for me.

My college hoodie, it’s black and SOOOOO SOFT on the inside. It has a really funky cartoon on the front, it kinda looks like a fish? and its yellow. The hoodies were supposed to be purple cause our class colors were yellow and purple but the purple hoodies would be too expensive so we just went with black. It’s so comfy and it has my nickname on the back. Funnily enough it also says 2021-2022 on the back because thats the year it was printed, and it was also the last year I spent at that school!

this super comfy and adorable sweater that is fuzzy on the inside, its  blue and has a cute ice and fire bears design on the front and its just so cute. Sadly it’s from a very controversial and terrible brand/seller, but I bought it long before I knew about the problems.

This very long sweater that has a bunch of Disney villains on the front. It’s grey and long and although the fabric is kinda rough on the inside I still love it and think it’s so cool. I got it years ago and in my first year of college I wore it to my animation class and my teacher look at me, chuckled, and said “The shirts animation students wear..” in an amused way, like it made him happy, and I was very happy about that. That teacher was awesome.

5. Are you completely sober rn?

Yes but I have been very drunk before! And it was super fun! A lot of sangria and exactly 1 shot. That shot made my snot turn blue which I didn’t know could happen!!! The shot was also blue btw. But honestly I just love sangria so much. And wine. It’s so good

6. What's the one thing that annoys you more than anything?

Being treated like I’m stupid and people that make anything into a joke. I have a very dear friend of mine that makes jokes about everything and anything and almost never takes anything 100% seriously and sometimes it really pisses me off, but I understand they don’t mean any harm, that’s just how they are, but it still gets on my nerves sometimes when I think back to interactions I’ve had with them. But again, they are a very dear friend of mine and I hold no resentment towards them in particular.

7. Have you ever gotten you tongue stuck to a cold pole during winter?

Nope, poles are gross! And I’m pretty sure that getting your tongue stuck on a frozen pole is an american thing. 

8. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?

;-; I want to be with my baby (bf). I want to hold him and cuddle with him and have comfy movie sessions. We’re a long distance couple.

9. What was the single last word you spoke?

Probably ‘Okay’ ? I was asking my mom if she needed me to defrost anything for dinner and she said no, so I probably says ‘okay’ after that and walked away.

Time to tag people!! >:D I tag @rebouks @simmersofia @salilaoceania @doodle-possum @simmer-rhi and @bastardtrait ! Feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to do this or have done it before :D 

#tag game #technically non sims #rambles #text post #get to know me

[veeloopz]

About Torches & Beyond, I was wondering how far do you have it planned out? I have plans for a comic myself and I'm afraid to only start working on it when I have everything perfectly planned out, was wondering how it is for you and if you plan to develop it as you go along or if you know where do you want it to head. May sound silly but you definitely serve as inspiration for me with how much you have done so far. Your art is incredible by the way.

My planning process is super wacky lol… I have the ending planned out and bits and pieces for the middle??? I know where I want it to end basically, and I have general scenes/character developments I know I want to get to… for writing out actual issues it’s kinda hard because I have to piece together those concepts and make it make sense to readers lol. So it’s kinda a big mix of “I have a specific plan but I also write along the way”!

Thats the way I write at least, I can’t have it totally perfect to a T because it’ll drive me up the wall if I have to follow a set of “rules” I made for myself. I like to have it open ended so if I randomly come up with a cool idea or a small scene I can just simply plop it in when the time is right!

Lots of things in my story has changed since I started writing it, also. When I was younger, it was actually going to be Sabrinia had gotten lost in the woods and sent into a magical world where she meets PK… it was very very different lol. Something’s have stayed the same, and something’s evolved over the time I really found what I wanted the overall vibe to be.

I have DOZENS of comic pages, sketches, concepts and ideas in a huge binder and a big folder from over the years, along with many google docs of timelines, scene ideas, and just ideas in general that I’ve either kept since the beginning/along the way! My process isn’t really perfect but it’s organized in a way that I can understand and remember things lol.

For goodness sakes Sabrinia was going to be a human for a while lol. She was a gardener who hated her job because everyone bullied her about it. Geffory was one of those people… she’d hit him with a broom when he’d get on her nerves lol. Lily was always going to be the way she is, and there’s a specific turn of events that has always stayed the same since I came up with it!

I have about 100-ish pages of the comic I wrote as I thumbnailed them… this was when I started to take the whole “I think I want to make a comic” very seriously! I was just like you with it, I was really afraid about just starting it. But doing these quick thumbnails and finding ideas for what I wanted to happen next/taking scenes and ideas I already had in my brain really helped me feel more comfortable with how I wanted it all to be! Granted, back then the story was different with how I paced everything, it was very quick and chaotic lol. The High Ruler had these weird snake things in his back it was a fun time haha.

All in all, what I have planned is where I want the characters to be in the long run. Then I fill in the bits and pieces! Of how they got to be there! It’s complicated but it can also be super fun :) I’ve noticed that I grew with my characters as well, funnily enough lol.

I hope this helped kinda!! Nothing I do is really perfectly written or planned, some of it is I suppose, but I’m not really the type to plan anything exact??? Because what if something happens and the plans just kinda crumble down into pieces?? Yknow?? :O

Thank you so so much for the ask, I’m glad I could maybe help you out even a teensy bit <3 It is such an honor to be an inspiration to anybody, it’s crazy to think I am at all! And thank you for the super kind words!! I hope all goes well with your comic! If someone as sporadic as me can keep up a series like this I know for sure anyone else can :) I’m totes looking forward to it, I bet it’ll be awesomesause >:P

#vee rambles #torches & beyond

[chikaoofka]

🖊 VINCENT AND MAKIIIIIIII

HGRK GOIGN IN FOR THE KILL IMEEDIATELY OKAY.......... I SEE HOW IT IS....................../silly

im like debating on what 2 say for vincent hes jus tlike hes he . hes he he. okay but anyways i guess it's less VINCENT and more characters so inherently related TO vincent its like might as well? but that guy he dreams about i named him i gave him a personality a design. yet he will never see the light of day because his name gives me psychic damage but at the same time i DO have an alternate name....? but im so torn. but that is a fun fact . also i lied about him never seeing the light of day he will see it just this once. a peek through the oubliette's bars or whatever (*specifically like the dream version because its cooler

also, a more vincent-y fun fact: hes like dodging chamption #1 in netzachs floor because fun fact! hes on netzachs floor, which was an accident mind you. i didnt mean for that to happen (i dont think????) but like it fits (<- random but i think i found out WHY vincent vdl was on netzachs floor. ok storytime i used to have a character named vincent, no relation to vincent vdl nor the vdl, but i like grew 2 hate him after i read the void dream logs because like i could never make vincent vdl without it being THIS vincent. then i DESTROYED him sent him to the deepest pits of hell and made vincent vdl in his place and also that other vincent happened to be in netzachs floor because he was 'vincent from safety' or something. do with all of that what you will. he was also ugly as hell. here;s a pic)

this art is so

literally dont remember the art being this bad but like whatever i guess i drew this like a year ago???

anyways i cough. he nigh soloed alriune llike the idk dodging champion he is. that is all i was supposed to say

anyways ======= maki =========

UHHH UHH MAKI.........THE LOBSTER........ i guess i will like i dont knowe. talk about like backstory or something. so like i have a corp a district, district 19, Symbiosis Corporation, they make test tube babies and im still trying to think of a good singularity but like yeah and they like animals a lot and like so many of my characters are from district 19 which also in tandem means theyre all British i didnt think this through i just thorught it would be funny i didnt expect to have consequences. anyways so like maki is the first in a line of like really Really specific babies 2 actually like LIVE and everyone was like WOOO YEAH FUCKJIGN FINALLY and then they fuckedthem up irreversibly (<- albeit accidentally but like letting the bastards who only know how to experiment care for the like magnum opus of your corp was not a good idea mr "dr freeman " (<- sigh he's the guy who made symcorp .ya he's cool? ) but at least they dont know fear shame or.... sadness so a win in my book ithink.

also i remembered actually what i actually wanted to talk about ? ?? ? the fact theyre like undead ????? because thats something. originally explained by the original symcorp singularity, which was baiscally Living Juice, it could revive you but then i was like no man thats kinda fucked. like thats TOO much. so i scrapped it so now maki is just too indecisive to die. or too silly. either or . for the longest time i debated with myself about maki's actual like... state of life, in a sense, like are they TRULY alive? and like.... i mean they're SAPIENT. that's close enough to being Alive. right. anyways another fun fact before i like actually end this i think its too long? but them being dead is like the only reason why samuel is in the "main friend group" of ocs . cuz . um . he can see ghosts? maki was ghost once. also wait. FINAL FUN FACT I SWEAR i hope you know the way maki died (the first time) was due to me not understanding that +200 stats from you must be happy will like make that employee Disappear. but yeah i got like a million stats for maki on the second? day and they disappeared and i was so sad that i immediately remade them the next day. which is why they are 1. still an oc and 2. like a zombie????????? like ???? rose from the dead? ????? a rotting corpse ?????? yeah :3

#sorry if this is utterly like indecipherable #btw.... #this took so long sorry i went overboard whatever? #most of it was 'do i draw the Guy' for like a good 10 minutes. then spending 10 minutes actually DRAWIBNG him #also i hope knowing alriune is on netzachs floor isnt like a super ultra big spoiler or anything D: #long post #probably #maki mode #vincent mode #also as much as i say i hate vincent from safety i could talk about him for like hours in the most malice vitriol hatred filled way #hes just so *i strangle him with all the hatred in my heart* #good vincent (vdl) EVIL vincent (safety) #ask #firebuug #also maki i like i think thats just unintelligible at that point im sorry i just like went off #also also i mention the quote unquote main friend group of ocs. vincent isnnt actually in that hes kinda just always there #ifelt that was important to note #also this was all in like 'one take' i feel that was ALSO of importance to note. which is why this is probably very unintelligible to the #normal person #one more sorry to like give me the conficent 2 like post it thank you

[rose-harmony]

🩷why is everything about our body so big?... its already been a weepy morning and i haven't seen anhone yet. I dont want to be here, back in this place where I was trapped and forced to "not exist" for sooo long. Yeah sure the other one got to be face, they were "normal" they were "who the family wanted but until they broke and forgot about me, my source, my original. They just wanted to be my friend, they wanted me to exist. Bht every time they did something for me or later if i was able to get a thought forward and they noticed enough to respond to it, I was always wrong, they weren't "supposed to be a girl"(🧡im not them but i used to be and guess what we sure fucking were, even back then🧡). This place is hell to me. These people, some of them true beacons and places we all can feel safe... but thats not this house, this house where I had to be imprisoned in our own mind. "They" was miserable, they didn't understand why even... i like to think a lot of it was that they missed me. My original source became the soul of so many in the darkwater... but so far we have yet to be able to pull far enough in to just turn all perception and perspective into the worlds we built for ourselves... but we made it work, those of us who had to pick up the pieces after "They" shattered did their jobs and wven got us someplace we thought would be safe. We found a person who promised to be our owner and take care of us if we took care of her and jt was good for so long but we wanted to go out and do more than she did (specifically kinky and witchy stuff. That she brought us into irl instead of just online) and we lost ourselves to the screen just trying to skip past yhe boring bits. And that was bad for all of us. It led to some general mental stuff that we aren't gonna get into but it kinda came to a head when the front group, me included, and her had a talk. She was done with us at that point or at least she was past what she felt she could handle. We had a decent therapist we were working on our meds but mental health just kept flaring up. And the woman who told us she would take care of us and keep us safe... someone outside who I actually allowed myself to trust... did not follow through on either of the exit plans we had agreed on. We begged her to adopt us to a new owner who would be better equipped or more willing or whatever, someone who would actually care about Our/my wishes. Either adopt us or bring us back where she found us, to the people I consider to be My family. Sure it would've meant carting our ass back to Arkansas but at least that would've been somewhat better for me/us mentally rather than being back here. But no she got us (fresh out of the hospital, not yet lucid to make any decision for ourselves and she apparently had us call body's parents and next thing i knew inwas back in this hell i was forced to grow up in. We fucking love that woman, other than the ending she was nothing but amazing to us in so many ways, she spoiled the fuck out of us, she got us around all sorts of cool places and people. If she would take us back we would go back to her in a heartbeat. But she also fucked us, she fucked Me over pretty bad with where she left us. And like we're not sure if she doesn't realize how bad of a situation she put us in or if she just detached herself so much that she isn't letting herself care anymore... fuck today just hurts and i want us to just crawl back into bed and shut everything out for the day but the others have things they want to do so i get to get dragged around again...🩷

-Alex🩷

#vent post #sad thoughts #depressing shit #plural system #plurality #alters #plural community #new plural #new system #plural #plural stuff

[anotherbelievermp3]

rant about this survivor season 46 ep 2 and kinda survivor in general

ykw I think this ep really got my goat bc of how unprofessionally the challenge was handled. Like I know it's supposed to be 'reality' but, it's also just a tv show. It can't hurt for viewers to remember that even though its not like the place you work at, this is a workplace. No one deserves to get screamed at in their face at a workplace. I don't care how frustrated you are during the challenge.

On top of that, I know the frustration and such are what people sign up for. And, I understand that these conditions are tailor made to make people lose their cool. But, there should be some lines in my opinion. These are people at the end of the day, not just characters.

I just think it's important to remember that reality tv contestants are systematically abused by the industry to maximize the profits a network can make off their tv show. I do think it is productions job to intervene when someone crosses a line. Which, I think Jeff attempted by calling out Bhanu's response during the challenge.

Idk. It's really not that deep. Its just disappointing to me bc I really do love this show and I love the antics. but, it becomes difficult to watch at times when you consider the physical and emotional harm that can come to these players. Not just the psychological effects, but the physical effects that malnutrition can have on people.

It's like when jake was borderline seizing up last season! that shit was scary! I just don't think that turbo starving people is appropriate to force conditions that will make ur tv show more entertaining. Bc, at the end of the day, the decreased food is just a result of the shorter season which is a condition imposed to save production money! But, thats the show. You just know if they were to make adjustments to make the show more humane fans would have an absolute bitch fit online.

CBS has a responsibility to their contestants to protect the contestants from unwarranted abuse. If anyone is interested, this ranted reminded me of the essay Angelina Keeley (a true all time survivor villain) wrote after the sexual harassment scandal on season 39. I'll link it here, but she basically goes over the fact that despite the conditions of the show being insane on purpose, it is productions responsibility to keep these people safe on set.

I don't know I love the show, but there is some considerations that should be made about the way these contestants are treated and how they treat each other.

#survivor tv

[sleepthinks]

Had a bad dream that went on for a bit, and since dreams were why i made this blog in the first place, hopefully getting this out of my head and onto a post will resolve me of this burden.

The first dream last night i dont remember yet, but i know it was about high school and i was relieved to wake up and not have to go through it anymore

The second dream starts off with me going to a bridal shower with my stepmother (who ive been no contact with for nearly 20 years)

As we wait for the food to be ready (indian? I've never had indian irl) the host had a bag of assorted toys for me to look through (lego pieces and figures)

I happily went to sorting the lego pieces out (rather than have to see my stepmother) and the longer i went through the bag, the cooler stuff the host seemed to have. (old star wars lego mini figures including droids and aliens, THEN they had some rare, still in packaging power rangers figures, the whole OG set)

Each new discovery was better than the last so i HAD to keep digging. I didnt know the host (or her fiance) but with toys like these i have NO idea how she was connected to my stepmonster.

Eager to find the next hidden prize, i opened a bag they had stashed underneath their coffee table to find... Another bag? Kinda weird. But this second bag had multiple pockets and zippers. Inside the first pocket was a small tent rolled up? The second pocket had dark red leather gloves. The third pocket had some sort of metal attachment or armor of some kind? At this point i am thoroughly disturbed and have this awful dread setting in. I thought i was finding cool exciting treasures but the tone of the dream has changed and now i know ive come across something secret and dark.

I join the rest of the bridal shower at a dinner table as they line up to get scoops of indian food (again, idk how this is in my dream, i havent really had indian food irl)

Listening to the strangers around the table talk, i begin to suspect that the host and her fiance are into ttrpgs, things like Dungeons and Dragons, and they joke about going so far as wearing costumes, but the dread inside me grows deeper. Remember im being dragged along to this event by my stepmother, who is the type of Feisty-Christ-y that would consider things like D&D and Harry Potter to be witchcraft and therefore satanic and evil. Im so uncomfortable in the dream im dying to evaporate on the spot rather than be associated with this woman.

Just then, the host woman's fiance makes a surprise appearance (do grooms go to bridal showers? Idk) and as he's greeting the other women gathered there, his eyes scan over me and i instantly know he knows i know and he's PISSED

*Something happens here i dont quite remember. I think my first alarm goes off to wake me up and i smash snooze on that bitch*

Now in the dream I'm outside somewhere i do not recognize. I'm on a town street, with business buildings on either side. The side im on has a white building with blue trim and a sign on top that says "Biggest Lies." The building directly across from it has a red trim and sign that reads "Littlest Lies." In the dream it is known (by dream logic/knowledge) that these are government buildings. Next to the Biggest Lies building is a sort of petting zoo, but in place of animals the yard just has the melted wreckages of various different vehicles.

Searching around the wreckage sites i pick up a small hatchet, thats completely gold. Instead of a smooth, rounded handle, the hatchet has a groove down the grip, like something else is supposed to slot into it somehow.

Slowly cruising down through the street in between the buildings are several large cars, maybe on parade? They are decorated in signs and tinsel and flags. All of these cars/trucks are on large wheels and the drivers are men with cowboy hats and sunglasses and clean white suits.

I don't understand what this parade is about, like what political stance they are trying to exclaim, or what the reason for their celebration is, but i know that this hatchet is how i need to defend myself from these people.

I cross the street into a building next to the Littlest Lies building. Even though this building looks like a store front, once you get inside you are met with a solid, blank wall. Turning almost completely around i notice a small, narrow stairway that winds up and around itself leading up to a second floor. As i climb the stairs the wall has these large thin gold plates, almost like tapestries, stretching from floor to ceiling. These panels are engraved, but in a language i cant read.

The stairs lead up to the second floor landing with a room that's even smaller than the entryway on the first floor. This room has even more of the gold panels on the walls, but instead of being neatly spaced along the stairwell, they are plastered haphazardly all over the walls of the room. In the middle of the floor there is a small altar with dying candles in a circle on the floor. On top of this altar is a small, palm sized golden puck. Its like a small circle with smaller circles stacked on top, like a wedding cake, but could fit in your hand and is only 2-3 inches high. Obviously i pick up this mystical treasure, even though the room I'm in feels like a ritual space of a crazy person. The underside of this puck has a silver circle that feels almost magnetic. Making my way back down the stairs i throw the puck into the golden panels. The dream logic was if i could knock one of these panels off the wall, perhaps there would be a passage i could continue down rather than go back outside to the parade of hostile people.

Having no luck and nowhere else to go, i have to return to the street parade that is now even more agitated. They've set some more of their cars on fire, leaving more melted carcasses along the street.

Fearing for my life, but also afraid that these people will take the hatchet or golden puck from me, i grip the small relic tight and the pointed end digs into my palm. Like a spring loaded toilet paper holder, the object pushes back against my grip and then extends way out, creating a nearly meter long rod thats end is now a sharp point. Like the hatchet, this rod also has an uneven shaft, like it's been split in two and has another piece that would slide into it.

Using my new spear-like weapon, i start stabbing the tires of the remaining cars in the parade. The strange people were aggravated before, and now they are murderous. Not willing to go down without a fight, i brandish both of my golden weapons at the crowd closing in around me.

*my alarm goes off again. I've been saved from this nightmare but my mind is still fully pulled back into the dream, this cycle repeats several times, with a different reality each time*

Eventually I'm back at the bridal party but this time I'm separated from the women from earlier and on the opposite side of the house. The groom from before- (lets give him a name. Ivan? Ivan sounds like a murderer right?) - ivan has recruited three of his friends to show up and these men are confronting me with the same murderous intent of the crowd from the parade. I discover the truth: Ivan has a sinister power, to transport his group into the different realities they play "D&D" in. But his group is sadistic and cruel and any dimension they move to they treat horribly. They murder and rob everyone they come across because they know in their own world they wont face consequences. But now that i know their secret, they cant let me leave and risk that i would expose them as the awful people they are. One of Ivan's buddies seems to hesitate about murdering a child. (lets give this guy a name too. Don? Don seems fine.) Ivan reaches out and places a hand on Don's shoulder. Still glaring at me, he whispers his spell and shoves his friend to the side. Don's eyes roll to the back of his head as he screams and falls to his knees. Before he can hit the ground, his body disappates into whatever dimension Ivan called him to.

Frantic again I turn and run, but im stuck in a house im unfamiliar with and im outnumbered. Panicking as i move through the hallway, I'm holding onto the wall to keep my scared self from falling. As i round a corner, the wall i was clutching splinters apart and I'm left holding a new relic. This one is long and wooden, with a wide, curved end like the stock of a rifle. Unfortunately the other end doesnt have a gun, it just ends with the same notched grooves that the previous weapons had. WHAT am i supposed to slot into these??

I don't remember what happened next. At one point i find another wooden piece that threads onto the wooden stock like a silencer/barrel, but theres still no actual gun pieces.

Eventually my final alarm goes off and i have to drag myself to work. But all morning i cant shake the feelings of dread and fear that were so strong in the dreams

#dreams #sleep #sleepthinks #nightmares

[slime-stew]

i hate how reblog icon just goes away so the only way i know if i have reboggef is the little 'like icon but this is not enough because sometimes i do not know if if have just liked it or i liked it last momth so i apoligize if i just reblogged the same shit you already saw. then again thats all anyone posts anymore its all just tumblr post of tiktoks of tweets of facebook posts that got reposted to reddit twice and the jpeg is so fried it becomed burnt . i am in so much pain and i cannot sleep so hopefully a stream of consciousness will stop my brain from yelling at me. i dont like how the joke of "there's too many standards so we should make our own standard that works with all if them". in some ways this is how i feel about conlangs and numbering systems cuz they're kinda cool but i can barely speak english so a useless language hurts me on a deeper level. it feels like a waste of brain for me to even comprehend. if you don't use a language to communicate then is it language? why not say theway to conjugate your past tense is to piss really loudly. go crazy. actually there is that hat one i think called kay fop b or whatever who cares we're gonna die at some point and i dont want my longest lasting contribution to society to be some joke hat language. actually what happened to hats. we went from like fedora trilby and it all lead yp to beanies and shit. even baseball cap feels like a dying breed. shit is so itchy i hate how it feel i do not understand how people wear hats. maybe thats it but theres still so many of u beanie people. i am not the person to ask for fashion advice i can barely find clothes to wear on a given day sometimes. i got hella fat and now i feel terrible about myself and my appearance and none of my clothes fit. i got so many garments that have negative stretch like if i even attempt to fit in this it will break. i just wanna wear an infinite clothiny that i dont have to care aboit. just like a big gray bodysuit that makes me imperceptible. granted even when i was less chubby i didnt want to be percieved either so maybe i just dont like how i look lmao. probably dysphoria in there somewhere who knows i just feel so tired and lazy i dont got shit and i have nothin to feel good about so i have just put up with feeling snd looking like human waste all the damb time . i think they should make a new flavor of powerade thats like coconut or coconut lime kinda like that drink from sonic the ocean water. if it was coconut you could make it just light blue cuz theres no cloudy light blue powerade and that would look good. like one of those fortnite drinks they have in the jars that looks kinda tasty. if you made it coconut lime it could be cloudy green like that terrible cucumber lime gatorade. the last time they made new flavors of powerade was like summer 2021 and those flavors are discontinued now. but they only made zero versions of them so im not surprised if they did poorly. also they never make cool names like. Glacier Freeze. thats the berry orange one. Cool Blue is literally just orange or blue curacao flavor. Arctic Blitz was supposed to be honeydew watermelon but it tasted so awful and i love both of those flavors. even just like Fierce Grape is a cooler name but its literally just grape or whatever. Sorry i meant

Grape whoa this shit is neat i'm so glad tumblr has actual text markup options like lets go i love strikethru its so handy i use it on discord all the time too. in a way it somehow both useful as a serious and as a joking indicator but in very obvious ways... probably because i start them with "but" or "except" or stuff like that. i love that i can just type into this box forever and nobody will ever see it and its all just for me yippee! but at least i have the option and unless someone loves stupid walls of text nobody will be forced to see it. gordon freeman big naturals. gorgonzola freeman. spinda pokemon wearing jorts. who up playin with they zeebo. what ever happened to that gon go gab galab guy wheres his revival bring that energy into 2011 fr. wish i was better at chess but i'm so scared of other people so i only play against my friends and the computer. i was in the middle of typin out all this shit amd i was informed that there is a limit to paragprah soze but if u hit enter its chill. it goes away so i made a newline on Grape because its funny to put that there. i think we should work on milking funnier animals. we already milk nuts and rhey dont even have udders but like whats kangaroo milk taste like. i bet its all churned up and creamy cuz they be hopping all the damn time. actually its probably bitter and shitty snd the only reason joeys drink it is because theyre too young and small and crap poopoo to know any better. its like kangaroo buttermilk or kangaroo soylent. reminds me of that angry slappy the squirrel she said something about buttermilk i barely remember animaniacs but it was a good show i had that shit on multiple dvds. i wanted to try that new soylent because it is my guilty pleasure that i want the future to be at least slightly cool about eating stupid foods and not dystopian. 🎁 i seriously cannot believe that someone has ever licked their elbow. it probably has piss on it. luigis mansion 3ds remake. its crazy how most of thr star fox games are either just the snes game again or are some weird shit like adventure or guard. in a way counter strike is the same cuz theres just the first game and then a remake and another remake and then there's a different game entirely that was supposed to be the single player but its a new game. and then there's cs go which was at launch kinda like the second remake but with new shit? like they named the guns correctly and u can play on a l4d map and thry replaced the tmp. but now cs2 is basically a csgo update even though its look like a new game but u play through the csgo launcher and u play on the same dust2. so theres like 3 games but somehow we sre on counterstrike 2. chicken enchilada. thatd a funny trick to play on god. i bet they got some crazy ass soup on mars.i gotta wait so long to see the mario movie. i bet you could jist randomly generate memes by putting hip hop vocals over kevin macleod instrumentals and people woild eat that shit up. my eyeballs are stsrting to hurt goodnight tumblr or is it good morning? ive been typing for so long i cant help it

edit: metal gear solid 2. its good but 3 is better and should have been the Action Game for the ps2 at the smithsonian that shit is rad

[voltrixz]

*puts on fake mustache* hello voltrix uhh what's your favorite little sillies yknowalso whats your favorite games please put a long detailed list i will totally not do anything with this info

Hello random tumblr user with a fake mustache that isnt my good friend lime

However yes I will tell you about my favorite little sillies (which im guessing is favorite characters) and my favorite games all in a long detailed list

Ok for games its probably ( not ranked)

HOLLOW KNIGHT!!!!

I've always heard of it and how good it is for like a good 2 years I'd say but never checked it out until like I'd say in the summer of this year. BEST CHOICE OF MY LIFE TBHHHH, its so so GOOD. So many of the characters are so memorable and honestly have rlly sad stories that made me so so so sad and AQUGHHHH theres so so so much of the story to analyze. I LOVE ANALYZING ITS STORY and the little like details of each character. For a game I put off due to the supposed difficulty and my non existent experience or skill with these type of games, I did not expect for me to enjoy that much. BECAUSE I DIED SOOOOOO MANY TIMES early game and even later on but I HAD to keep on coming back to play because the game is just so so so PRETTYYYYY, like aughhhh eye candy and as I mentioned before, the characters and story are really really awesome

MPN!!!! (Madness Combat:Project Nexus )

Honestly was really excited to play this game when i finally could but also feared I would give up since it isnt the usual type of game im used to and would probably find it difficult. (they had a tourist (easy) mode, cant believe they planned this just for me) EITHER WAY I FUCKIN LOVE MPN!!!!! However i think the interactions/dialouge for each character in this game is my fave part. DEIMOS' LINES ARE SO FUNNY (and fruity) AND I LOVE HANK'S DIALOUGE TOO, he's just a tiny bit silly but very insane. Also love how you can just move the mouse around and the characters will just spin in circles, its so silly, go gay boys go!!! ALSO!! love just in general every character's dialouge AND TRICKY'S LEVEL AUGHHHH, died a few times but ITS SO GOOOOOOODDDDDDD AUGHHHH, still need to finish the storymode (gave up on the last boss when I died on the last health bar) (my computer was about to explode either way (the got into hk and kinda forgot about it) HOWEVER I DO RLLLY RLLY want to get back into it, complete storymode and go through arena mode

POKEMON SUN!!!

Would I consider this a favorite game soley because of nostalgia and because it was my first actual pokemon game? Maybe. But did I have fun with it? YES Plus the game has Popplio (FAVE POKEMON EVER) also AUGHHH got so attached to my team in that game. Also I love the alola trio so much (Lillie, Hau and Gladio) and THE PROFESSER, he is so silly, shoutout to him and his wife for being the best bi4bi married couple ever, also heheh LOVE SOLGALEO SMMMM, its so cool. ALSO GUZMA, AUGHHHHH banger character. Rlly wish my 3ds worked so I could revisit the game tho :(

Thats all the favorite games for now (would add endacopia but I'll wait till the full game releases)

OK UM FAVORITE SILLIES!!!!

This is super obvious BUT AUDITOR AND PHOBOS

AUGHHHH LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH, love the both silly and really interesting trivia about them

The duality of Auditor canonically having a sweet "tooth" compared to how Krinkles sees Auditor as inferior to the rest of the employers since they level themselves down to the mortals in Nevada and picks fights with them

Along with the duality of Phobos having his size (around the height of a half MAG) because he's on a GOMAD diet (a lot of milk) and then his descent into insanity and how his egomaniac tendencies took over his sense of judgement

I just think they're really really cool and honestly REALLY REALLY interesting characters if you dig deep enough (and become morbidly fixated on them and understand them on different levels)

Other characters would be NOISEMASTER!!! (silly funky guy that is actually quite fucked up and rlly fuckin tragic when you think about it), another would be QUIRREL!!!!! (also rlly fuckin tragic but aughhhh geniuely such a kind and caring character love him) and uhhh SNIPER AND PYRO (THEY ARE LITERALLY ME FRRR)

Maybe have rambled a bit much but I sure hope you totally dont do anything with this info

#voltrix rambles #ask #sorta long post

[zawazawanightmares]

Red Riding Hood & As You Were Told

You, Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood), are connected to as you are told Your partner selected the 18+ server.

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Told what?

as you are told: Are you submissive

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Hmm...depends, honestly.

as you are told: On what

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): If I'm close to the person and trust them.

as you are told: Have you ever allowed a man to take control

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Once...

as you are told: Did you enjoy it

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): No.

as you are told: Ah, so you haven’t had a good experience

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): I did not.

as you are told: Sorry to hear that

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): It's alright. Not your fault.

as you are told: Do you ever come here to masturbate

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Here specifically? No.

as you are told: where do you go when you need to

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): My room. I prefer to keep the blinds half-closed.

as you are told: Do you do it often

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Not really? Keep myself busy with others actually.

as you are told: That’s probably better

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Probably!

as you are told: :)

as you are told: when was the last time

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Probably the other day, when I was finished talking to a friend?

as you are told: You masturbated with him?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): No! Geez! I masturbated...about him...

as you are told: Lol okay, did you wish he was there while you were doing it

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Err...kind of.

as you are told: would you have done it in front of him

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): I-if he asked...maybe?

as you are told: If he asked you to open your thighs and touch your bare pussy for him while he watched

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): He's too much of a wimp...but, yeah...I would.

as you are told: thats very hot.. would you finger it in front of him too?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Yeah...

as you are told: what if he wanted you to ask permission first

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Ask him for permission?! I mean, he would never ask himself so...that'll be the case by default?

as you are told: id love to hear you say that

as you are told: so hot

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Heh. Looks like you need a girlfriend.

as you are told: hah yeah, it’s been a few months

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Trying to get yourself back out there? I understand.

as you are told: yeah, I like how open you are talking about this stuff

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Well, it kind of goes with my cool persona. I actually prefer being cute and innocent but that would have made this conversation very boring.

as you are told: So you’re not offended when I ask you about sex stuff?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Not really. Plus, we're strangers so it's not like it's too invasive.

as you are told: Yeah, you sound cool and kinda hot

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Thanks! That's what I go for! But I also like being a big sis.

as you are told: ooh wanna be my big sis ;)

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Maybe...not gonna lie though, girls are more simpler to be big sises to than guys are.

as you are told: I’m sure you’re right, but I’d still like to walk cluelessly into the bathroom and catch you

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Ah! Only in the shower, I hope!

as you are told: with your thighs open on the toilet rubbing

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): What a gross place to do it...but I suppose getting caught like that would be kind of funny.

as you are told: uh huh, I’m hard just thinking about it

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): You're a total perv...the genuine article!

as you are told: Just a lil :)

as you are told: do you hate me

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Nah, I guess I'm just as bad...I did tell you all that stuff about my nightly activities...

as you are told: so you would indulge this little perversion?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Hmm...what's in it for me?

as you are told: a hot dirty orgasm

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): You think you're good enough?

as you are told: only one way to find out

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Alright then! Have at it.

as you are told: You have to start by rubbing through your panties

as you are told: grinding the material against your clit

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): If you say so. *reaches into her shorts to rub her clit through her panties*

as you are told: Mmm are your going to get the crotch dirty for me.. stain it with your wetness?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): It's getting wet so...yeah...

as you are told: im going to stand in front of you and expose my fat cock while you rub

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Do you what you want... *keeps rubbing*

as you are told: mmm they are getting dirty, aren’t they

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Yeah...so wet and dirty...

as you are told: peel them off and hand them to me

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *takes them off and hands them to him*

as you are told: are you unshaven or smooth

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): I shave so kinda smooth...

as you are told: im going to press the crotch to my nose

as you are told: open wide and show me your swollen clit

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *spreads her lips with two fingers and shows her swollen clit*

as you are told: oh my god, you’re sopping wet

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Yeah...

as you are told: look what is happening to my cock when I smell your dirty panties

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): You're getting way too hard...

as you are told: the head is pulsing and the shaft is rigid. There is precum leaking out now. Flick your clit around for me

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *flicks her clit with her finger while looking at your cock*

as you are told: Do you enjoy masturbating your cunt for me

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Y-yeah...

as you are told: youre being very bad right now. You know that, don’t you

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Aw, come on...

as you are told: mmm middle finger.. drag it between your wet lips

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *drags her middle finger through her wet folds*

as you are told: back and forth, spread the wetness around

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *messes her pussy up with the finger, softly moaning*

as you are told: mmm very nice. Expose your tits for me

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *unbuttons her shirt and unhooks her bra, showing off her surprisingly huge breasts* You like them?

as you are told: i do like them. What size are you

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): E cup...

as you are told: they are massive

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Yeah...I go through a lot of effort to hide them. Hurts the "cute" image...

as you are told: squeeze your fat nipples for me

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Don't call them fat, perv...*pinches one of her nipples while rubbing herself*

as you are told: Tug out on it

as you are told: stretch it

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *pulls on it, eliciting a gasp from her as a shiver runs through her body* Geez...!

as you are told: do it make your little pink cunthole wet?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): You're being so vulgar...I'm actually close...

as you are told: do you wish I was there, saying vulgar things to make you cum?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Kinda...

as you are told: uh huh, telling you to twist one of your big nipples while you finger fuck your aroused twat?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *keeps twisting her nipple while fingering herself* Oh my god...! *moans as she cums hard*

as you are told: would you straddle my thick shaft and bounce for me if you could?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): *panting while lying down* Yeah...

as you are told: Even though I’m a vulgar pervert

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Tch...don't bring that up...

as you are told: id still give you a good firm fucking

as you are told: im close now

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): I bet you would...would you take me like a wolf?

as you are told: from behind hard

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Over my back?

as you are told: yes

as you are told: hard

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): My ass in the air? You grabbing my fat nipples?

as you are told: yes, pumping your wet fuckdoll cunt full of sperm while I pull down on your oversized nipples

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): And can you call me "adorable"?

as you are told: my adorable fat tit sister

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Ha, I only meant "big sis" in a metaphorical way...you're into incest? Perv!

as you are told: ;)

as you are told: okay okay, I’ll be your best friends father

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Um...okay, just for today, I'll let you be my little brother...

as you are told: mmm okay

as you are told: tell me your first name

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): It's...call me Rumi.

as you are told: You’re a poet too

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Heh!

as you are told: do you give good blowjobs

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Never gave one before so...no.

as you are told: you would be willing to learn

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): Maybe...

as you are told: i need to cum, so I hope so

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): You want to cum in my mouth?

as you are told: deeply

as you are told: after I fuck your tight pussy

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): How about I just keep it open?

as you are told: yes

as you are told: ill fuck you to orgasm

as you are told: then roll you onto your back

as you are told: and straddle your huge chest

as you are told: and jack off into your open mouth

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): You're such a brute~!

as you are told: only with my slutty sister

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): And a total perv...

as you are told: mmmmmm

as you are told: only with my whorish sister

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): And now I'm the whore...great...

as you are told: you don’t like my pet names?

Red Hiding Hood (Mary Skelter Blood): How about "honey" or "sweetie" or "my cool big sis"?

as you are told: My cool fat tit sister

Your partner left the chat

#red riding hood #mary skelter #srp

[heroquills-a]

( random realization of the day... maybe because he bottles up and ignores his bad feelings so much thats why sonic is so bad at expressing how he genuinely feels about things and also why he’s bad at catching onto emotional cues )

#🌀 — later guys! i’m outta here! ❪ ooc. ❫ #🌀 — i just only have a steadfast heart of gold. ❪ headcanons. ❫ #i was just touching up on his bio and yeah actually that kinda makes sense and idk why it took me this long to wrap my head around it #i mean... just looking how he interacted with elise and kinda just encouraged her to smile and look at the positives of things #when she started showing signs of repressed sadness #bc thats all he really understands how to deal with feelings #just internalize and focus on happy #and while sonic can defo be genuinely happy abt stuff and have a genuine positive mood #all that stuff that gets repressed is still kinda under the surface #and a lot of it he doesn't really understand bc he never takes the time to sort through it or deal with it #man say what you want about elise and sonic's relationship i think it's just really interesting bc it draws out an interesting side to sonic #that gets overlooked a lot #so like #when sonic is thrown into a situation where he doesn't understand how to deal with emotionally its just like #:) ??? make joke? joke maybe ? no ?? maybe smile? smile is good. play it cool and casual like normal ?? (: #ofc he's gotten better at handling emotions and stuff !! but yeah its just #intriguing to think about #ive probably already made this connection before but idk lmao #it just ! it always struck me as odd how sonic will appear so unaffected when things get emotional and i think now i realize its #bc he just doesn't know how he's supposed to react otherwise #unless like... he's acting on his own feelings #but then he's just a mess and is all over the place pltbhb