#just being there makes me so tense

[parkinglothater]

I feel less doomed...I'm going to give college a genuine try

#its not like i dont want to make new friends #its notnlike i dont want to take notes and read #i just feel like i cant do those things when im at achool #just being there makes me so tense #physically and mentally #i start to shut down #im determined to make tomorrow a good day by any means #im going to talk to my classmates #ill asl him abt his weekend and what he dis #and then like abt where he frequenyly hangs out #ill admit to babysitting and show him a picture of mimi even #and ask if he has any siblings #boom thats 3 whole questions that i asked him!!! #thats enough for a whole conversation #and i wont just be a responder ill b an asker #i think its a testament to how much my social skills habe deteriotwd that i have to plan even simple conversations like this the night befo #i feel very sorry for myself #im still coming to terms with the fact that like #a very real part of me has been truamatised by going to school in 2020 #like i know its been 2 hears but im hust now realizing just how bad my social skills got #just how bad my anxiety can get #just how unregulated i am #in every way #plus 2020 was extra bad for me bc i also broke up with my lomg term bf pre covid #and then my entire community got displaced for like a month post covid #anyways im trying so hard to listen and learn from my body and my brain and everything #and my responses to school now feel like they come from the same place as my responses in my relationship #like sometimes or ig less often now but sometimes zack wld say or do smth and it wld send me into a straight up panic and id get super def #fensive #and i feel that way at school a lot

[not-equippedforthis]

really love characters who have varied panic responses. kirk stating himself that he does not panic outright, externally, not in high-stress dangerous situations, but instead becomes tense and level like a wound string, on-guard: mostly because his role as captain necessitates that he maintain level rationality even when facing potential death as his training as 'the guy who tells you what to do when shit hits the fan' requires, but also because his childhood experiences taught him early that drowning in the desperate haziness of panic won't help you survive. especially as kirk already follows his intuition so deeply. he learned to grasp and contort the feeling. spock is the main person who represses his emotions, of course, but kirk does it to those deep-set, personal ones (this includes how he doesn't reveal anything truly personal about himself willingly 90% of the time, only what others already know/shallow anecdotes) in a much more subtle way that's really interesting to me. certified expert at avoiding the subject as long as he isnt caught out on the lie. professional bluffer.

in terms of past or parents we dont know much!!! hes known as the heart-on-his-sleeve guy!!! like yes he yells, he gets irritated, excited, hes a whirlwind of quick-thinking and plans and intuition, he goes out of his way to connect with his crew and shows it, when he puts on a little act or bluff he puts his heart into it and clearly enjoys the dramatics so much, at times he wears his heart on his sleeve, he laughs openly and is honest to spock about what he means to him, he's very sun-coded to me in a burning, passionate way, always intertwined with the stars and seeking them out, but when it comes to genuine deep-set turmoil? we dont actually know all that much about him??? hes so full of emotion and character (i love fics where spock characterises jim's mind/bond as a whirl of colour and sensations, hes a quick thinker!!! intuitive!! lively!!!) and yet its still so outwardly surface level. tarsus iv gets mentioned like twice? so especially here where kirk gets briefly jumpscared by the creature, because like:

its subtle but his eyes. his eyesss!!!!! kirk commands with his emotions but there's always some sort of level of control to it, or he transforms them into something that spurs on others or uses them to ascertain a goal: seeing unguarded fear/distress in his eyes even if its faint and brief (in this instance) makes me go insane every single time. like!!! its such a small moment!!! he isnt even panicking!!! really, he just got jumpscared!!! its insignificant!!!!!!! but seeing a two-second flash of actual, naked apprehension is just...oughhh,,,,,,,,,

oh god, and dont even get me started on the galileo seven episode where he assumes a tense level-headedness throughout the whole thing, irritated and apprehensive but not panicking, making sure he maintains intelligent rationality, even when he has to leave them behind, but when spock and the crew are confirmed safe and the bridge is occupied the camera pans to him and his eyes look like they're fucking watering and he's so achingly relieved. don't even talk to me. im. fuck.

he shows so so much but at the same time reveals so little.

#just had to write something about this because i loveeee seeing cool characters in distress. sorry but i need to see that boy PANICKING #im only on season 1 still so i dont know if there is a point where kirk openly seriously panics in the typical way #in high stress situations hes guarded but controlled #seeing him genuinely lose his nerve and start panicking would make me ouuughghgughg #like if he starts actually hyperventilating for kirk you know somethings so wronggg #but no yeah even if spock is injured or kirk is concerned about him he still shows that in the tense guarded high strung demeanor #same with spock really - his tone becomes tense and he uses jims name and its subtle but AAACKKK #i love the note of desperation being logical. that one episode is such a good exploration of spocks characer #i just think its interesting. to me it reads not only of kirks headstrong nature but also of his experience on taurus iv #not equipped for rambling #star trek tos #star trek #james kirk #jim kirk #captain kirk #kirk tos #hope this is right because im only just coming to the end of season 1 so #i love kirk so much though i cant even #hoping so so much ive interpreted him well #and that this makes sense. this is a ramble to the max. #he draws people into his orbit hes lively hes intelligent hes a burning whirl of passion and arhrthhhh

[sysig]

Experimentation (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Papyrus #Continuing the theme of memories and what Gaster ruined for them haha #He doesn't even have to be here and he's making their lives harder! Par for the course #Lots of things have the potential to trigger their memories - a familiar smell or a food they recognize #But there were so many things they never experienced and sifting between them is very difficult! #Especially considering most of what they ''remember'' is actually just their Reaction to Something - like the smoke smell making them tense #Sans here getting a Reaction for sure tho - being questioned and experimented on does Not feel good #It's Papyrus doing it so that's one thing but even still - not having fun with this #Papyrus is so curious! He wants to know! He always seems to be a bit left out on finding things out haha #Sans being the more science-minded of the two probably has an impact there - ask your brother he'll help figure it out #Unless he really doesn't want to because it feels weird please stop (lol) #Still tho being asked to eat things as an experiment? ''oh hey bro maybe going to grillby's will remind me of something'' ''SANS'' lol #Papyrus didn't mean anything by continuing to ask questions he's just curious! #Sans goes to write down the results and then feels Even Worse so scribbles them out #''don't tell me what to do!'' directed nowhere in particular #Tries really hard to put it out of him mind A Lot #This remembering business sure is uncomfortable! #Look what you did Gaster you took a perfectly fun data-gathering session and turned it into something they'll need therapy for!

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[ New Arrivals and Old Friends ]

Part 1 of 4 💐

@duusheen @foxsimthings

#ts4 #ts4 challenge #ts4 screenshots #ts4 bachelor challenge #ts4 story #keaton strattion by duusheen #eoin einfeld by foxsimthings #|| #they're HEEEERE 💗 #look at how good they look!! :') #i hope you like the hair i stuck on eoin!! i couldn't get the file for his hair that you sent me to show up?? #and i was dicking around in cas and slapped that one on him and i utterly adored it #eoin was in a bad mood and Angry the minute i loaded him into the world #and keaton was Fine and i thought it was just so funny for their different personalities #eoin is super tense!!! about being out in the public eye again like this #whereas keaton is like 'okay i was totally sold on not coming and now i'm here... hoo boy' #he doesn't actually want to go back home he's just bein a good ol country boy and tryin to make eoin feel more comfortable fjkhfd #meanwhile eoin is this 🤏 close to full on fighting the few paparazzi that have shown up to the airport

[good-beanswrites]

Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.

Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!

Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...

I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm

Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.

Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.

“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.

She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 

Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 

“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.

It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”

She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 

Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.

She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.

Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 

So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 

“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 

“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 

At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”

Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.

“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”

The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.

But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.

Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 

At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 

“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #amane and fuuta mentioned #i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂 #oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk #i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that #anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0 #drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result #i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together #the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices #im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd #i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything -- #i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared #but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off #not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky #i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person... #i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon #and *shes* the odd one out for craving company #then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else #i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...? #AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃 #*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit* #drabbles

[bunnihearted]

🌧️🫧💭

#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me #which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye #🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad #nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone #i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me #ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao #also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀 #like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid #why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way #me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me #i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me #it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave #nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop #whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive #ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like #all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think #i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself #but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T #idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do #anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul #but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao #i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down #they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how #to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year #i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak #es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that #maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Aziraphale is doomed because of Good Omens naming conventions (prepare for pain)

Aziraphale’s (AKA Mr. Fell’s) name drives me insane because

Good Omens is so precise in its use of words (almost like it was a book first!) I didn’t know anathema was a word (yes, US education is dire, I know) which means “vehemently disliking” or, in the religious sense, excommunication

Anathema Device in Good Omens 1 is a witch (antithesis to the church,) yet is loved by Newton Pulsifier, who, based on their family histories, should hate and seek to destroy her

Her name being Anathema is a subversion of expectations; anathema should mean repulsive, tearing apart, unholy, and according to God’s plan, she is— but she really isn’t! She brings everyone together! Love wins!

Also…… Device. She’s a literal plot device

(Also Newton being a revered scientific figure VS Newt being woefully inept at computers— the ironing)

Aziraphale isn’t a real Biblical name, but one that sounds similar to actual scripture. His chosen human name is Mr. Fell because it sounds similar and is a real last name

Or

Aziraphale, despite everything over centuries, still takes Heaven’s side because he truly believes he can work within The Plan ™️ to save humanity and Crowley

He’s completely incapable of grasping why Crowley wouldn’t want to go back to being an angel (because, who wouldn’t?)

He loves Crowley because he sees the good in him, but also still sees Goodness and Heaven as inextricably intwined

What’s tearing him and Crowley apart isn’t their mutual desire (to be together forever,) but that Crowley wants them to be on “Their own side,” while Aziraphale wants Crowley to be on the side of Good and therefore Heaven

Aziraphale remembers Crowley’s joy as an angel and wants to take away the pain of his Fall. His biggest fears and motivations as a character are losing Crowley and Falling himself

He’s now in the highest position of power possible and it’s strongly indicated that he’s going to have to reckon with the Second Coming. He may have been able to get away with a bit of deviance before, but this was for centuries when he and Crowley flew under the radar. He keeps defying divine will and getting away with far more (that we know of) than Crowley ever did to Fall

So, considering Good Omens’ use of metaphor in names and how high in Heaven Aziraphale is now—

Is Mr. Fell going to Fall?

#ive been mulling this over forever and it drives me nuts #like ive had the anathema analysis in my drafts for over a month now #the SECOND he said he was mr. fell i was like oh babe you’re doomed #it might be a massive red herring but it just seems too obvious to not be chekov’s gun (see i know writery words!) #how are you gonna have an ANGEL whose last name is FELL like CMON #and also PAST TENSE?????? #idk maybe anathema and newton’s names being ironic defenestrate my point idk #all i’m saying is i really really really want an aziraphale fall arc pls and thank u #and it feels so obvious and plausible #and if the plot really was planned out years ago having a fall arc for aziraphale makes sense #don’t mind me just chewing on glass #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #good omens speculation #newton pulsifier #newt pulsifer #anathema #anathema device #good omens 1 #neil gaiman #<- i’m so fuckin nosy!! aghhh!!! #plus aziraphale had very little character growth this season comparitively my man needs to suffer for a bit (as a treat) #good omens predictions #good omens 3

[oplishin]

No one in unordinary has a backstory (besides the obvious exception) so here’s my two cents (headcanons) on Arlo’s history

He was born out of wedlock (I promise this is relevant to The Way That He Is in canon)

When his parents met his father was a middle aged very influential government official who did make a bit of an effort to be in Arlo’s life, but had a whole nother family. Arlo was primarily raised by his mom during his early childhood. Arlo’s ability comes from his fathers side, and val is his paternal aunt

Arlo’s father tries to be affectionate, genial old man, but. He’s just quintessentially unprepared to help raise a young child. He’s also in his 70s during canon so he’s very out of touch to what Arlo’s life is even like. Arlo is mostly just standoffishly polite to him

Arlos mother was a broke college student when he was born. She felt like a failure for getting pregnant before doing anything with her life, so she kind of unconsciously externalized that onto arlo- “if I raise this child to successfully enough, I won’t have failed as a parent and as a person”

She was unyieldingly strict and demanding at all times. She always pushed him to get stronger, to raise himself in the hierarchy because it was her way of proving that she was doing something valuable. She loves him, but maybe not as much as the idea of him. I don’t think she was abusive, but certainly just. Not a Good Mom

It kinda works out for them because arlo inherits his dads power and absolutely excels at it. He measures himself by hierarchy but it hasn’t destroyed his self esteem because. Turns out he’s pretty great at hierarchy actually

At some point Arlo’s mom sends him to live full time with his dad because he can provide so many more opportunities for him. It’s a pretty cushy lifestyle

Arlo has 3 half siblings from his dads side that are all MUCH older than him, like 14 years older at the youngest (in canon they are all in their 30s)

In his early childhood they all really resented him for ruining their parents’ marriage. His mom tried to keep him away from that shit, but it got into his brain a bit. His method of dealing with it (like in canon) is just. Repression repression repression baby!! Can’t have problems if you just fight people about them. He inherits his moms perspective on hierarchy: no one can judge you if you’re the most powerful person in the room

Val was the one person on his fathers side that really tried to form a relationship with him which is why he looks up to her so much. Whether it’s because she actually cares about him or it’s because she thought he’d end up as a valuable resource, well. Arlo certainly believes the former

His now grown ass adult siblings regret being shitty to him. They try to reach out and reconnect now but Arlo is Arlo about it and just brushes them off

Arlo ends up the tallest and the most powerful of all his siblings

His mom ends up remarrying and starting her own family too. She gets happiness. She changes from that bad parent from the earlier parts of his childhood and tries to fix things. She’s been able to move on from the toxic mindset she raised him with, but he’s still stuck there with the trauma she’s given him.

Arlo’s kind of stranded between 2 happy families and he deals with it by!! Pretending the only life he has is the one at wellston. He throws himself into his duties as King and ignores everything else

#arlo unordinary #didn’t realize I had so many arlo mom headcanons #sorry that the tense changes so haphazardly #unordinary #Arlo’s mom is also Asian to me (NOTE THAT I AM ASIAN SHH) #he’s just very white passing and constantly gets shit for it from that side of his family #or it’s the horribleness of being praised for looking whiter than everyone else #uhhh what else #arlo is also even taller in my headcanons than he is in canon #idk how I feel about Arlo’s mom having other kids because arlo just radiates resentful younger child/only child energy #which is why despite his best(???) efforts his relationship with remi is so. mishandled #but yeah #on god I should just make an oc out of this material I’ve done so much legwork #astute jojo fans will note that I just josuked him #to which I say. shhhhh you saw nothing #it’s like josuke if Tomoko had a lot more focus put on her #jeta posting

[martyrbat]

the man who falls – secret origins (1989)

[ID: Two cropped comic pages of Bruce Wayne as a child after falling into a cave and being ambushed by a swarm of bats. There's multiple narration boxes over the pages:

Page One: a three panel sequence of Bruce being rescued by his father. In the first panel, Bruce is screaming with his eyes squeezed shut in fear. He has his fists clenched in front of him and is wearing a reddish pink turtleneck sweater. The narration says, ‘Again, he shrieked — not in terror, but in despair...’ In the second panel, Thomas Wayne is shown from behind in a low angle. He's wearing a red sweater similar to Bruce and is holding a flashlight as he jerks Bruce into him. Above them is bats surrounding them and the broken wood floors that Bruce fell through. The narration continues, ‘The arm curled around him, muffling his voice, and his cheek rubbed against the rough wool of his father's jacket... He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to be away from here—’. In the third panel, they're standing outside. The narration reads, ‘When he opened them, he was in the area behind the mansion, in the pale light of the autumn afternoon, and his father's words pounded at him—’. Thomas is kneeling down in front of Bruce in front of the hole he fell in. He's gripping the child's shoulders as he scolds him, “Idiot! I told you never, never to go off alone. Didn't I? Didn't I?” Martha Wayne is behind them with her hand on the side of her face as she looks at them with relief that Bruce is okay.

Page Two: Martha is defending Bruce as Bruce has his head down. Thomas is still squeezing Bruce's shoulders as Martha tells him, “Thomas, he's frightened.” Thomas replies, “He damn well ought to be. He could have been killed.” Martha replaces Thomas's spot in front of Bruce, kneeling to gently place a hand on his upper arm and using a handkerchief to wipe his forehead. Bruce is standing with his fist still clenched and grimacing as Thomas angrily says, “He's got to learn.” Bruce is shown in a low angle, looking up at his mother with wide eyes. The narration continues, ‘He listened to his father's boots crushing the dead grass, and when he could no longer hear them, he dared to ask:’ “Mommy, was I in hell?” Martha soothes, “No, baby, that was just some old cave. You're safe now,” as she hugs him. His cheek is pressed against hers and she has her eyes closed as Bruce still looks uncertain. END ID]

#once again pushing my 'thomas wayne was a piece of shit' propaganda #tied in with the panel of him hitting bruce #and then the alt timeline where they live and martha expresses concern that her eight year old has an obsession with criminology now #and stopped being talkative or wanting to see some train (his special interest) and thomas says good and that it was worth the scare #and ! being autistic. for me when im emotional all sound is so much louder and more overwhelming #the fact that he waited until he couldnt hear his father walking away before asking his mother if he was in hell.... #and being no older than 8 and still waiting. just tensed and taking the verbal lashing and them fighting before speaking up?? yeah. #also think it'll be interesting in the 'bruce is constantly seeing the best in people even shitty people that dont 'deserve' a second #chance or for someone to fully believe they can change. that you do bad things but aren't a bad person. that you can do good and not #be a good person. that its making a choice and that anyone can choose and decide to do better than they were yesterday' #sorta deal yknow? #just the conditioning of forgiveness for something theyre not sorry for and wanting to believe everyone is capable of being good #that traumatized 'mommy was i in hell' like god sorry brucie for the trauma but itll have a payoff in a decade or so trust me kid #also martha?? love her. hes the biggest mama's boy you cant change my mind. #bruce wayne #thomas wayne #martha wayne #baby brucie #crypt's panels #c: secret origins | the man who falls #bruce & martha #bruce's childhood

[pyrriax]

hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

#haunted ecosystem #this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much. #im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3 #like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art #but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good #im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.) #okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked #but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how #i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical #and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his. #whatever the fuck is wrong with him. #i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it #that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun #once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off #more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest #for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr #and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane! #ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp #it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[Episode Five] One Last Push!

For whatever reason, poor Antony was Tense when it was his turn to hang out with Daniel! 🙁 He made some night-caps for the two of them to share and started up a Deep Conversation. After Dan discussed his mood with him: after becoming friends with most of our self-applicants, it seems like Antony was feeling a little guilty that he hadn’t taken the gumption to sign himself up like they had: almost like he was here unfairly! It tickled Dan pink, and though he definitely took the time to explain that bringing himself to Komorebi meant the same as putting his name on the dotted line, I don’t think Antony heard much of what he said after that “cute”. 😉

@dirksdreamer

[ Part 24/?? ] 🌹

#ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 screenshots #ts4 gameplay #ts4 challenge #ts4 bachelor challenge #;kmik #sim: daniel #antony ark by dirksdreamer #|| #i’m not TOTALLY happy with the dialogue in this but :| our boys did not give me a lot fhdhd #they legit just drank and chatted and dan discussed his mood with him and then turned??? flirty??? and they kept making flirtatious jokes #it was precious 🥹 #i was strapped for ideas and it shows i’m SAHREE #but the cute is 100% canon daniel walked out of there smilin his whole lil pixel head off #i am so overwhelmed w how gorgeous antony is ugh #he’s so nice and polite but he has these moments where he’ll get tense #and afaik ifs from his #fear of being judged bc somebody??? was mean to him at some point #(lookin @ u and ur werewolf rage adrian 👀) #and so he was all tense at first and dan had to talk him down :(( #so i sort of imagined- since he’s friends with most of the contestants who signed themselves up- he felt a little guilty #almost like it was unfair for him to be there when other people had taken the actual resolve to sign themselves up? #but dan reassured him that no matter how his application had crossed the desk #antony still came to komorebi regardless #and that was brave enough for all of ‘em #idk its very loosy goosy i’m SORRY baby its not my best ��� #we have three!! more!!! contestants!! to go!! #🌸🌸🌸

[bunnihearted]

.

#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?' #'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting' #i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

[redstarfish-art]

My journey into the Law obsession

Sabaody: Who the hell are you, boring arrogant man with the overly complicated powers. Your bear is such a gimmick. Marineford: Oh he's a doctor doctor. I thought the "Surgeon of Death" thing was meant to symbolise that he went around killing people instead of saving people...is he a quack doctor? Is that his hobby? Is Luffy going to be okay? Amazon Lily: Don't make him look cool, sitting there holding Luffy's hat. He's not cool. He's a convenient plot device. Boo, stop looking contemplative and go away. Stop touching Luffy's hat! Polar Tang: Urgh, you're such a lazy liar. Just admit you want a nap after that tiring surgery. I hope you don't show up again. Your hat is stupid. Punk Hazard: Why hello fluffy long coat and a much better hat design. You look surprisingly cool, leaning against the door in that badass pose. *Immediately imprints upon him*

#and then every single thing he does afterwards just makes me love him more and more #the warlord status helped #the better fashion choices helped #the new hat probably had more of an affect than I'd like to admit #and to say nothing of the highly tense and dramatic relationship he had with Doflamingo and Vergo #okay fine I'll admit that him being such an idiot that he'd give away his literal heart just for an espionage mission also helped #and then him having to face the consequences of his own recklessness #the endless kidnapping also helped #oh and the fight with Smoker #and Luffy's immediate happiness upon seeing him #him doubting Usopp and Zoro telling him not to doubt Usopp and then Usopp being the one who actually accomplishes his plan #pretty much every interaction he has with Chopper #okay I'll stop now #One Piece #trafalgar law #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #*ugly sobbing*

[lesbiansanemi]

Bad day. Horrible awful terrible bad day

#there’s not even a reason. nothing bad has actually happened #it just FUCKING SUCKS #I want to walk into a lake and never come back #I want to take my brain out of my skull and throw it at a wall and watch it splatter #I know today sucks because I’m so tense and upset that my back HURTS so fucking bad #cuz when this happens I tense up and my back muscles decide to coil around my spine and squeeze like a starving snake #it’s spreading through my shoulders and even to my chest which is a first #I just 😭😭😭 I want to go home except home also sucks cuz roommate #and I know he’ll be out in a few days but that feels like forever #and I’m so tired and I’m so upset and I want to curl up in a ball and cry and hide from the world #but I’m working a 7 day stretch at my job #and I have to transfer the power and internet to my name sometime before Wednesday #and I’m so sick of takeout the idea of eating it makes me want to vomit but I can’t physically bring myself to cook while they’re there #and I just. ugh. UGH #I’m so sick of existing #why does my life only allow me small handfuls of months at a time #where I’m not living in some form of disaster and stressed to all hell and back and just wanting to lay down and die #what did I do so wrong. what have I done to deserve all this shit #in my short terrible miserable fucking life #whatever I’ll just go home and stare at the wall #and then go to bed and come to work and come to work and come to work there’s always going to work #I’m going to fucking scream I hate my brain #why can’t it just regulate itself in a normal way cuz that’s the thing I know I’m being insane and nothing is actually this bad #but man if it doesn’t fucking feel that way #and being aware I’m being batshit really doesn’t make it better actually I think it makes it worse #kaz rambles

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

why, every time I use coping mechanisms (mechanisms specifically there to help me cope) am I so shocked and confused that those mechanisms,,,,,,,, help me cope

#me putting loop earphones in #a tried and tested method to make my lectures more bearable #and suddenly i feel less tense and im like ???? omg wow #as if this doesnt happen every class #stim toys that help me concentrate on something other than all the people in the class...... #.... letting me conecentrate on something other than all the people in the class #its like i forget #and ill refuse to use them #ill be complaining about being overstimulated to my partner and theyll just be like #have you put your loops in? have you asked for the lights to be dimmed? do you have a stim toy? are you at the back of the class? #and im just like 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 nooo those things are basically useeellessss #and then i do them and its instantly better and im just like 🧍🏻‍♂️ oh wow #theyre obviously not all powerful but the difference between something in my ears muffling the sound and the lights not being so bright #to an ordinary classroom #is astonishing honestly