#joshua hong x yn

[blue-jisungs]

SO BEAUTIFUL

author's note. can u tell what i was hyperfixation on when i wrote this?! a cookie for those who answer correctly (emoji) btw this song is one of my faves when it comes to ian :( right after violet crazy and scaredy cat.......... however his whole discography is just mindblowing so its hard to have a 1 fav song ngl <//3

summary. idk man just whipped prince!joshua ...

genre. atla-ish !! its not the main plot but there's mention of element benders lolzies, royal setting (prince!joshu, army general!y/n), situationship/non-established relationship between them

warnings. blood, wounds (kinda descriptive, im sorry), fighting, mention of war and killing people (i mean yn is in army so....), cursing, one suggestive joke but i mean,, it was there like... it was stronger than me..., not a warning but emphasis on fem reader, yn kinda has a breakdown :(

word count. 3878

joshua ran his hand through his hair, letting out a small sigh. he was reading a book but his mind seemed unable to focus as the words and sentences didn’t make sense in his head. 

“you’ve been reading this one single page for ten minutes now, your highness” he heard seungkwan’s teasing voice and just looked up at his friend. 

“i’m aware of that, seungkwan” joshua mumbled and put the bookmark between the pages, leaving the item on a small table. 

he bit his lip and looked outside the window, the sight of mountains bringing him some peace.

joshua’s mind was uneasy due to the late return of his army. and his absence at the battlefield. 

the news of victory brought by his right hand and good friend, minghao, definitely caused him to sleep better. but before that, there had been weeks of days filled with stress and anxiety. and now, for  unknown reasons the army’s arrival was postponed – and there was no message. 

“i’m sure general l/n has everything under control” seungkwan’s voice brought joshua back to reality and he subconsciously smiled upon hearing your last name. 

maybe that was the reason why he was constant concern. he was worried about you. no, it wasn’t like he doubted your fighting abilities it’s just… anything could happen on the battle ground. besides, you weren’t a bender. obviously, every caring prince would be worried about his subordinates. the matter was that it was your first serious battle all alone. usually he was there too. or at least seungcheol, who was his father’s military advisor – also very skilled in combat. but due to his injury and the medics sharp warning he wasn’t able to go. 

joshua sighed quietly and stood up, lazily walking up to his balcony. the cold air hugged his face, a refreshing breeze filling his lungs.

another cause of his stress was… well, you’re a woman. it’s not like women don’t hold high positions in society and are well respected in the water kingdom but… army was mostly men. who knew if any of the soldiers didn’t cause you trouble. 

“i don’t think that the ball is a good idea…” joshua mumbled, tracing shapes on the marble railing. 

“whether you like it or not, your mother had already decided. majority of our alliances arrived” seungkwan shrugged and turned around upon the sound of knocking. joshua looked through his shoulder, expectant. 

it was minghao. 

it must have been good news since he was shining. 

“they’re here” 

before the prince could pass him in the door, minghao cleared his throat. 

“y/n is resting though” 

joshua stopped in his tracks, not even realising there's a smile that appeared – dropped now slowly. 

“is she hurt?” he asked, worry in his voice. seungkwan closed the balcony door and joined the water kingdom’s prince's side. 

“no, no. not as far as i know. she’s just exhausted and needs to prepare for the ball. and the paper work, losses and such… it’d be better if you didn’t bother her” minghao suggested softly. “wonwoo is to your disposal though”

wonwoo, the lieutenant general. that’s fine, he’ll just ask about you. 

joshua nodded and left in silence. seungkwan and minghao exchanged playful looks. 

joshua could not sit still. his mother sent him numerous looks but his eyes weren’t focused at her at all. he scanned the crowd in search of you. 

his mother was oh so kind to postpone the ball to the next day, letting the soldiers rest. as he noticed, most of them made it. you surely would be here too, right? you were the general after all. 

then it struck him like thunder. 

there you were, in the midst of people. a flowy, light blue dress on your body gently falling onto the floor. he knew you got the access to the best sewers in the kingdom but this time… your dress really reminded him of water. maybe it was the silver linings in it? or just the lightness of the fabric? either way, you looked angelic. and with your hair loose, falling like waterfalls on your shoulders. 

as the great warrior you were, you sensed his gaze on you. sending him a small smile, looking from above your companion’s shoulder, joshua sighed dreamily. 

your lips moved and then you walked past the man you talked to, stepping directly into joshua’s direction. he cleared his throat, his sight on you. 

“my queen” you hummed and bowed gently to his mother first, then you held eye contact with him with another bow “my prince”

“general l/n, you’re truly the shining star of our army. we’ve heard the tales and i must say, i admire your vigour and dedication” his mother said. you bowed again.

“thank you, my queen. i’m proud i can serve our country” you nodded, smiling gently. joshua adored your face, not being able to get enough of it. especially after your three-months long absence. 

“mother if you don’t mind, you’ll hear the stories later. now i’m going to kidnap general l/n for a minute” 

before you knew it, his hand tenderly interlocked with yours as he lead you to the dance floor. landing in the middle, below the silver chandelier that lit up your face in the prettiest ways possible, the prince placed a feather-light kiss atop of your hand. 

the music started, the royal sounds of cello and violins ripping through air; joshua led the dance, his ebony eyes scanning your face. his features were overtaken by the look of how much he missed you, you could tell it by his eyes only. the soft curve of his smile made your heart melt, fingers brushing against his neck. 

“so beautiful” he hummed deeply, heart almost aching with joy. why was it like this? he thought he thought it through but now he was just confused; why does his heart hurt when you’re finally within his reach? 

”so, so beautiful” joshua repeated, daring to glance at your lips “i missed you dearly” 

you huffed, letting him sway to the rhythm of music. because he was an excellent water bender, he was one with the flow – whether it was his element or music. he guided you through the sounds of instruments, which made you emotional. hearing the sound of them after months away from your homeland… 

“aren’t you tired? are you fine?” joshua asked, care in his voice. he had you so close yet so far. in his arms but unable to caress your cheek or kiss your lips. 

you shook your head, scanning his face. maybe you missed him too, after all. 

“i’m perfectly fine now” you whispered and his look was more expressive than words; he understood what you meant: you missed him too. 

the melody came to a halt and it was like a string snapped in front of your eyes, the sudden sound of chatter making you go back to reality. 

“i’m sure there’s plenty of young ladies willing to dance with you. i shall not keep you busy” you said. joshua opened his mouth, protesting. 

“let’s take a trip down a darker place, the garden has really improved when you were absent” he almost whined, begging with his eyes so you’d spare him even a mere moment alone. 

suddenly, wonwoo approached you. he leaned in to whisper something in your ear, concern on his face. you nodded, features getting colder than snow blasting in the harshest of winters. he knew that look, it meant trouble; it meant an approaching threat.

“i’d be more than willing to. however, there happened to be an urgent matter that needs to be taken care of. i…” you hesitated and sent a look to wonwoo. he understood since he left right away. only then quiet words left your mouth “i’ll meet you in your chamber later, shu” 

his heart skipped a beat, nodding. his eyes followed your figure, finally at peace that you’re back.

an outsider would never think that you’re a general, one of the skillest people in the kingdom when it came to combat. whilst being a non-bender, which was quite impressive. you were just so… flowy, glowing and gentle. oh, gentle you truly were… 

“...the fuck you mean we had a tail?” you hissed, poking wonwoo’s chest and then taking a deep sigh “well fuck me, that’s just fucking great!”

“i bet your highness would want to do that” wonwoo cleared his throat, your hand slapping his arm in an instant.

“lieutenant general jeon, i ask you to behave accordingly to the situation. there is a risk of coup, the life of the royal bloodline is on the line and you dare to make a joke?” you said coldly, making wonwoo shiver. then, you suddenly snickered “i do admire your timing though. and now tell me more” 

you and wonwoo were close, it’s not like it was out of his manner to joke like this. but the fact that there might be a spy in the castle right now… 

“chan came across the traces and him and others made an assumption we’re followed by an fire nation soldier who survived the battle” wonwoo gave you the details. 

your light dress rustled on the late afternoon wind, breeze running through its fabric. you closed our eyes, fingers tightening on the marble railing of a terrace. 

there were two choices in this situation: announce there might be a spy and transport the royal family into a guarded place, which may result in panic and rumours spreading (including those about your incompetence). however, the spy might run off or give in. the second option: stay silent and don’t let anyone suspect a thing, take care of the spy with your own hands. risks: people getting hurt, especially the king or queen. or prince. 

“do we know where they might be now?” you asked, looking through your shoulder at the crowded ballroom. chatter, dancing, music… people living to the fullest. and joshua being there too. 

“we do have suspicions that they might be nearby, we found some traces near your… your, um, house” wonwoo answered, your eyes shifting. 

“so they want me, huh?” you sighed. that was far better than the royals getting hurt. staring at the sunset, a wide palette of oranges and yellows melting into one, you nodded. “inform the guards, keep an eye on any suspicious activity. i’ll go check if they’re still around my place. report immediately if anything happens”

“yes, general” wonwoo saluted and walked away, feeling the breath of urgency on his neck. 

adoring the sunset for a little longer, watching it morph into a navy night sky; you decided to go before it got too dark. 

joshua was walking around his chamber, footsteps echoing due to the largeness of it. it was past midnight, almost 6 hours since you left the ballroom… did you change your mind? you didn’t want to come? 

he let out a deep sigh, plopping on his bed and staring at the book he was reading. 

joshua was a prince and enjoyed literature, he has read countless and countless books and genres. he especially found an interest in old romance but all of them had a similar scheme when it came to relationships: the woman was the one to be head over heels whipped for the guy. she’d blush when someone mentioned his name, she’d miss him dearly when he’s on his adventurous voyages, she’d dream of him even in her sleep. he never read a book with an opposite order of things. and yet… here he was, waiting for you like a lost puppy. while his heart sought after you, his mind was worried about your wellbeing during your army shenanigans, he longed to hear, see or touch you even for a mere moment longer. 

huffing like an displeased child, he laid on the bed. if you come, you come. and he’ll be asleep. that way, you’ll know he doesn’t cares that deeply—

knock knock. knock knock knock knock. 

joshua frowned, sitting up. it could be you but… it wasn’t your usual knock.

the door opened with a quiet creak. you were leaning against the doorframe , upper body leaning forward with hair falling on your face.

“took you long enough” joshua mumbled and stood up, when you suddenly started sliding down the doorframe lifelessly. he ran up to you, kneeling down and grabbing your hands. frighteningly cold hands “what’s wrong?”

his voice remained strong unlike his heart. you gathered all your willpower and raised your head, fighting the dropping eyelids. 

“my back…” you croaked out, leaning forward but only ending up in his embrace. 

he did not image your reunion like that. 

joshua gently moved his hands to your back and his fingers met with something… sticky…? the flowy material of your dress was ripped, the warmth of the liquid contrasting with the low temperature of your body.

“y/n, what happened?” he asked, voice stern yet revealing a hint of worry. 

“i’ll explain later just… help me, shu. please” you breathed out, the air tickling his neck. joshua gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing, and he grabbed you in bridal style. 

placing you on his queen sized bed, rolling gently to the side, his mind was racing with thoughts. what happened? were you attacked? was it a fresh wound? 

“i’ll rip the dress, only on the back. i apologize, ill buy you thousands of new ones just… breathe for me, alright?” he stuttered, putting on some light. 

only then his eyes saw how serious was your wound. he took a sharp inhale, throat going dry. 

there was a deep wound going across your back, left arm to almost the side of your right hip. it looked like a sword left such a mark. 

joshua quickly opened the handy tap he had in his chamber and didn’t bother to pour it into bowl. 

he bent water straight from the tap, focusing deeply. trying to connect with his inner peace and energy but his rapid heartbeat seemed to disturb him too much.

“focus, jisoo” he grunted to himself, slender fingers shaking “y/n, talk to me. you need to stay conscious” 

“won’t talking take my oxygen that i desperately need–” you started.

“yeah, you’re right. be quiet” he scoffed, trying to light up the mood. then he moved his hands slowly from the beginning to your wound to the end of it. very slowly, surely. still like water, his palms flat but fingers directing the stream of liquid. you groaned, curling your back. 

it wasn’t the first time joshua was patching you up but it definitely was the first time he knew it’s dead serious… and seeing you in such pain. 

another thing was that at the back of his mind there was a sprouting thought that he won’t be able to close the wound completely. not with his heart all over the place. 

joshua took a deep breath, focusing on the element flowing through his body. not on you… in pain… bleeding out on his bed… 

“’m sorry” 

at first, he didn’t hear it. only when he heard a sob, he realized that it’s you. 

“hey, no. don’t apologize, that’s an order. it’s a deep wound, i know it hurts but im trying my best and we’ll talk it out later. 

inch by inch, millimetre by millimetre, thanks to his healing abilities your skin started clasping the wound. he wasn’t sure which technique to use – layer by layer or pieces at once but the crimson liquid pouring out of your pale back made him chose the first one. which will lead to leaving a scar. 

joshua began to feel worn out, despite all the hours of training that prepared him for such situations. but he knew that if he stopped now, you could die. 

“shu…” you mumbled, shaking like a leaf. your voice was quiet, weak. he felt time slipping through his fingers. 

brows knitting, sweat dripping down his temple, joshua shook his head. despite strength leaving him, he promised himself to restore as much as possible. 

you looked through your arm, pearly tears shimmering in the moonlight. joshua’s heart ached, as if someone put a needle right through it.

“i know, i’m sorry but i beg, a few more minutes…” he croaked, feeling lightheaded. 

“you’re exhausting yourself, stop it” a whisper escaped your lips “shu, please” 

“no, you need to live” he grunted. you frowned and tried to sit up, causing him to gasp “are you insane?”

“give me the bandage and go call the medics. i don’t want you to pass out” you ordered, reaching for his hand. 

joshua put the last ounces of water and energy into your body, leaning to close the tap. then, he dug in one of his drawers.

you were still bleeding but far less than when you barged in. he handed you the material and wiped the tears, sweat and blood off your face. 

“i’ve got this now. go get some help, please” you sent him a weak smile. 

joshua cursed mentally and left quickly. you were probably right.

once he was back with jun, jihoon and seokmin, they took care of you. the oldest one gave you some herbs that would put you to sleep as they worked on your wound. joshua insisted that it all took place inside his chamber. 

they were done around 3am, leaving you two alone. the prince managed to get rid of the blood stained duvet and covered you in a blanket that was on his couch. 

them, he laid down next to you. the moonlight shone on your pale face, parted lips making an escape for soft snores. your chest was rising up and down a lot more calmly, joshua could feel your energy being more vivid that before. it was stable now, like a steam of water in the woods rather than dried out lake. 

“you always have to cause some trouble, huh?” he scoffed and reached his hand out, caressing your cheek gently. even in deep slumber after getting hurt you were so beautiful. 

he noticed your brows furrowing and fingers twitching. your breathing sped up, yet you remained asleep. joshua observed you cautiously.

“no… don’t… don’t kill him” you mumbled, shifting in your sleep. his eyes widened, realizing you’re having a nightmare “anyone but… but my shu”

joshua’s heart melted on spot, pleasant warmth flooding his insides.

“you can’t even get a rest, can you?” he huffed and shuffled closer, guiding your head onto his chest. you instantly nuzzled closer, arms instinctively wrapping around his body. 

with an uneasy mind, he caressed your hair. your breathing calmed down so he wondered if the nightmare went away. 

joshua stuck his gaze into the open window, unable to relax. stars barely shone on the navy horizon, covered by clouds. it seemed like the sky couldn’t sleep either. 

upon stirring awake you instantly knew (even without opening your eyes) that you’re in joshua’s bed. it was much more softer than your bed but above all, it had the comfort. you felt warm and secure; cozy in his hold. joshua had his arm wrapped around you, fingers tracing shapes on your skin. 

peeking an eye open you noticed he’s holding a book with his other hand, eyes tracking the text. 

you wanted to stay like this forever. 

then, a stinging pain ran through your back and you trembled, causing him to shift his worried gaze at you. he gasped softly. 

“you’re awake” joshua hummed and leaned closer, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

you melted because of the gesture, nuzzling further into his neck. 

“how do you feel?” he asked, worry in his voice. 

“better, much better. thank you, shu. i apologize for the mess i made” you mumbled, resting his palm on his chest. he put his hand over it, caressing your skin. 

joshua missed this so much. he missed you. 

silence was hanging between you two, an unspoken question of “what happened?” hanging above your head. 

“may i see wound?” he asked suddenly. you nodded, your hair tickling his skin. 

he helped you sit straight and handed you one of his sleeping cloth to cover the front of your body. 

joshua gently moved your hair from your back, his fingertips ghosting over your skin. goosebumps covered your arms.

“you know… you always say i’m so beautiful” you started quietly. joshua hummed in acknowledgment to let you know that he’s listening. then, he shuffled something closer and put it on the bed “but i’m not. i’m so ugly, joshua. my soul is ugly”

“that is not true, y/n” he protested sternly as his delicate fingers worked on removing the bandage. his touches were soft, almost as if he was afraid to touch you.

“i’m a soldier, shu. i hurt people. and yesterday… there was a spy. he sneaked up on me, threatened to kill you. and that triggered me i just… couldn’t bare that thought. and i saw red… he used my distraction and tripped me, slicing in the back” you stuttered, throat going dry “i’m a failure. i almost let him escape, your life was at risk and i couldn’t control my emotions…”

his movement halted for a while, the quietness od the room making your soft pants sound much more louder than you’d like to. 

“you are not a failure. you had led our army to victory, several times” joshua resumed and you felt the calming stream of water. then, you felt a soothing sensation spreading over your wound. 

joshua was bending to recover your wound, or at least make it heal quicker and more effectively. 

“yeah but… i’m a bad person” you mumbled, playing with your fingers. 

he stopped bending and put a new bandage over your wound, it still not being clasped fully.  

joshua patted your arm and you put his shirt on, turning around. 

“you know why i always say you’re so beautiful?” joshua asked and once you faced him, he grabbed your chin gently “obviously i mean your looks too but above all, i treasure your soul. you’re such a pure, dedicated human”

you swallowed, his soft features warming your heart. 

“this situation must have made you feel upset and not worthy but you’re so appreciated. my your subordinates, friends… by me. as much as i admire your readiness to sacrifice for me but please, i beg, don’t do it next time” joshua hummed, his thumb moving in soothing manner “i’d rather die myself than live without you”

“don’t say that” you scoffed, shaking your head gently “our country needs a leader”

“and i need you” joshua replied, moving his hands to cup your face “please, y/n. you’re so precious to me… so–“

“if you say beautiful i’ll smack you” you let out a laugh and he couldn’t help but share a smile. 

“but it’s true” he grinned and closed the gap between you two, lips crashing on yours. you shared a passionate kiss, a one that lovers after reunion share. 

but truth be told, you were like all those lovers in old tales. 

and maybe this time, there’s going to be a flawless ending: making it official.

main masterlist | event masterlist

taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @eternalgyuuu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,, @mine-gyu

#seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen #svt imagines #joshua #joshua fluff #gose #joshua smut #seventeen fanfic #hong jisoo #hong jisoo fluff #joshua hong x you #joshua hong fluff #joshua hong x reader #joshua hong #joshua x y/n #joshua x you #joshua x reader #joshua hong x yn #hong jisoo x reader #svt royal au #svt scenarios #svt soft hours #joshua seventeen

[seuonji]

彡 are they dating? —times your relationship was almost revealed / time you both got caught.

๑ idol!svt x idol!yn secret relationship series! no storyline, just fun.

—yn is a hybe artist!!

★my bestie that proofreads my writings gave me the wonwoo scenario <333

one ๑ two ๑ three ๑ four ๑ five ๑ six ๑ seven #mlist

laying down with jun/soonyoung/seokmin/mingyu on his bed and taking selfies using instagram for the filters until he drops his phone and accidentally clicks on the add to story button— you both screamed until one of you deletes it or turned off the wifi so it wouldn’t post but you guys knew how persistent your fans were, you didn’t know if deleting it was good enough. he would probably say, “should i just delete my account?”

when your group won an award at an award show, during your comment the camera briefly pointed at jeonghan/wonwoo/jihoon’s face which showed his sweetest and softest smile. that picture went viral the next hour. anon: “i want someone to look at me the way he looked at yn when they won an award.” / “he wouldn’t just look at them like that for no reason they have to know each other more deeply right!?.”

passing by the seventeen practice room where seungcheol/jeonghan/minghao’s was practicing alone. he recognises your figure even though the door was translucent. he practically ran outside and looked if they coast was clear before giving you a hug. little did you guys know the one or some of your fellow hybe artists from another group was walking around that floor— they instantly said they wouldn’t tell anyone but would also be in shock and would take awhile to process what they just saw.

after an afternoon of hanging with joshua during your short break in one of the rooms in the building, you had a schedule to go live when you got back to your designated room. you soon left and looked in the mirror to make sure everything was okay and you met up with the staff then went live. you enjoyed reading the comments and answered some until you saw a specific comment. anon: yn! your necklace is so cute! where did you get it?

you mentally froze for 3 seconds and looked at yourself in the screen. you touched your neck and saw that you were wearing the necklace joshua gave you literally 30 minutes ago. you nervously laughed and said that you recently got into the activity of making jewellery and that you were testing its durability. “do you guys want one?” you smiled at your viewers. you got comments that were constantly mentioning joshua— anon: “you’re like joshua!” // “joshua from svt also makes them!!“ — but the really annoying ones would tell you you’re copying him.

during a live, a fan pointed out that wonwoo was wearing more jewellery recently. “sort of, but it’s mostly rings,” wonwoo says as he placed the back of his hand infront of the screen to showcase his rings. later on in the live he started giving the origins of each ring, “this was from a recent trip, this one is from mingyu…”

he got to a simple silver ring and he held back a grin, “this one is a typical ring but i like it a lot.” he showed the rings once again. he faced his palm to the camera but realised, on the simple silver ring, your name was engraved onto it and it was legible. he mostly had it turned inwards for reasons like this tho. he quickly took his hand away from the camera and read other comments to change the topic— the fandom became super curious, they noticed there was some writing on the ring. it was the same curiousity as to when scoups was revealed to have a tattoo.

#彡 idol!svt x idol!yn #🐚☆ #📢aya wrote! #seventeen #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt imagines #choi seungcheol #yoon jeonghan #hong jisoo #joshua #jun #wen junhui #hoshi #kwon soonyoung #lee jihoon #lee seokmin #dokyeom #joshua x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeon wonwoo #kim mingyu #xu minghao #boo seungkwan #mingyu x reader #seventeen headcanons #scoups #minghao x reader #hoshi x reader #dokyeom x reader

[hoshifighting]

Seventeen reacting to you pressing your legs together while watching 50 Shades of Grey.

Seungcheol: With a smirk, Seungcheol's gaze darkened as he noticed your subtle movements. "Feeling a little hot, huh?" he teased, his voice low and husky. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned in closer, his hand trailing up your thigh as he whispered, "I can make you feel even hotter." "In fact… I can be so much better than him, kitten..."

Jeonghan: Jeonghan's eyes widened in surprise as he caught sight of your actions. He licked his lips slowly, his gaze lingering on your trembling thighs. "You like that?" he murmured, his voice dripping with desire. Before you could respond, he started to kiss you at the point you couldn't breath properly, grabbing the first thing he sees in front of him, to try to tie you up, or spank your ass.

Joshua: Joshua's cheeks flushed pink as he watched your movements, his breath catching in his throat. "Oh. So, no vanilla sex then?" he asked softly, his voice filled with both curiosity and arousal. As he leaned in closer, his hand brushing against your nipples, making your groan, he couldn't help but imagine all the ways he could pleasure you just like in the movie.

Junhui: Junhui's eyes darkened with desire as he noticed your subtle gesture, a smirk tugging at his lips. "You're so naughty..." he teased, his voice low and seductive. With a boldness that surprised even himself, he reached out to gently grasp your thigh, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

Hoshi: Soonyoung's grin widened into a smirk as he caught onto your actions, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I see what you're doing..." he chuckled, his voice filled with playful excitement. Without hesitation, he leaned in closer, his hand sliding up you thigh to your pussy, the wet patch on your panties making him loose his mind. "I bet he doesn't eat pussy like me…"

Wonwoo: Wonwoo's breath hitched in his throat as he watched your movements. "You're teasing me, aren't you?" he murmured, his voice husky with arousal. Unable to resist any longer, he pushed your chest on the bed, making your ass jiggle on his cock. "I want you to count how many slaps I will give you. One..."

Woozi: Woozi's cheeks flushed crimson as he noticed your actions, his heart racing with excitement, his hand trembling slightly as he reached out to gently caress your thigh. "H-hmm baby, do u want me to turn off the TV?" he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. Then starting to murmur all the sinful thoughts that had been racing through his mind since the movie began.

Minghao: Minghao's lips curled into a knowing smile as he caught sight of your movements, his eyes twinkling with anticipation. "Finding any inspiration?" he teased, his voice laced with playful amusement. Suggesting a few ideas of his own, his words dripping with desire as he whispered all the things he wanted to try with you.

Mingyu: Mingyu's teasing grin widened as he caught onto your excitement, his gaze lingering on your flushed cheeks. "Should we try this?" he teased. Making you moan in response. "Of course we should..." he smiled, pushing you on the couch.

Seokmin: Seokmin watched you closely, a spark of anticipation igniting in his eyes as he noticed your reaction. He remained patient, waiting for the perfect moment to make his move, knowing that your arousal would only enhance as you watched the filthy couple on the screen. "Imagine me fucking you like that, but, ten times better…"

Seungkwan: Seungkwan's cheeks flushed pink as he noticed your legs pressed tightly together, feeling a surge of heat rush through him. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with concern as he leaned in closer. Despite his flustered state, he couldn't resist the urge to tease you, his hands cupping your pussy, eager to see just how worked up he could get you.

Vernon: Vernon's lips curled into a sly grin as he noticed your actions, his eyes alight with mischief. "Getting excited, are we?" he teased, his voice dripping with playful innocence. Even your boyfriend nonchalant, his cock was hardening at the sight of your thighs pressed together like that.

Chan: Chan's brow furrowed with uncertainty as he noticed your legs pressed tightly together, feeling a pang of jealousy flare up inside him. – After all, the actor is hot asf – "Are you... enjoying the movie?" he asked, his hands were wrapped around your throat to start a kiss, determined to prove just how much he wanted you – and how much better he was than the protagonist.

#seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen imagines #seventeen #svt smut #svt imagines #seventeen drabble #seventeen x oc #seventeen x you #seventeen x yn #scoups smut #seungcheol smut #jeonghan smut #joshua hong smut #joshua smut #junhui smut #soonyoung smut #hoshi smut #jihoon smut #woozi smut #minghao smut #mingyu smut #seokmin smut #seungkwan smut #hansol smut #vernon smut #chan smut

[yyawnjun]

BUTTONS

seventeen!95'lines × reader (separately)

summary: according to an ancient story, the greatest way to confess to the girl you love is to give her the top button of your uniform. Knowing thus tradition, here's how I think S.coups, Jeonghan and Joshua would confess their love.

comments, like and reblogs are always greatly appreciated. I hope y'all will like it ♡

high school romance ; fluff!! ; 2.6k wc ; I am so weak for them 😭 ; @kflixnet

thank u so much to my fav girl @sobun1est for proofreading this (she deserves the world AND a confession by S.coups asap !!)

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL [ 최승철 ]

Choi Seungcheol. The school slacker. The first time you heard his name was when the science teacher begged you to help him with his finals. He needed help in all scientific subjects, such as math, physics, bio, and chemistry… but from what was said, he was considered hopeless. The first time you met him, he was wearing a pajama - because he refused to “be like the others” wearing the uniform - and kept chewing gum while listening to music while you were trying your best to help him with his math homework.

From that very first moment, you understood why everyone thought he was considered a desperate case. In the first week, he did not listen to you at all, not even glancing at you, he had arrived late and left after less than an hour.

Over time he started to look at you and listen to you. He started to admire your patience, your passion, your focused look as you wrote, your clear voice as you explained, your optimism, and your kind heart...

At the same time, you also started to become attached to him when he first showed the will to improve his situation. Indeed after a week, he bought his first pencil, after two weeks he bought a schoolbag, and after a month he even had a collector with all of the subjects - it was quite well organized at the end of the third month.

His appearance improved during those months: his eyes appeared less tired, his hair wasn't greasy anymore, and he even wore half of the uniform.

On Monday, the results of the final exams had just arrived. It was 9 a.m. - still very early, as they would not display the result posters until 11 a.m. - when your science teacher called you with Seungcheol.

You both came out of your respective classes and as soon as you arrived in front of the teacher, she almost started tearing up with happiness at the news she wanted to announce to you. S.coups, as you had learned to call him by now, had passed all his exams. These were the exact words spoken to you by the professor. She almost jumped up and hugged you, but you were more focused on the proud smile that adorned your friend's face. Indeed by now, you were friends.

After hearing the news, to celebrate you opted to go for a bite to eat at the café near the school after class. That café where you first met when it all started is now filled with your happy chatter.

Having the time to be with him for more hours on that day, you were able to notice so many other details of the new S.coups. He had a rested face, a lot of energy in his speech, brighter eyes, and even an almost complete uniform - he had promised you that he would wear it perfectly only on the last day of school. After some time, he also managed to thank you from the bottom of his heart, and you to gain more confidence in your teaching abilities.

So, the last day of school had arrived, the last goodbyes, hugs, chats, and farewells before the end. But on that very full day, you had by no means forgotten your promise.

In fact, after saying goodbye to your friends, you moved to look for the boy. Thirty minutes had now passed, but nothing. You were about to give un helieving that you had overemphasized what had been between you. You turned to leave until a deep, masculine voice came to your ears that you now knew very well from hearing him repeat all the rules possible and imaginable.

You turned and saw him in all his glory. The sun was shining on his face, and his hair styled with was barely moving in the wind. His eyes were smiling, and he was still shouting your name to indicate his location. Only when he was closer, did you notice that he was wearing his uniform.

His eyes and chest were filled with pride, his smile was proud, and his happiness was more alive than ever. After a quick hug, he pointed out his uniform to you - emphasizing how uncomfortable it was and how much he had done it for you. With dreamy eyes, you stared into his eyes, and he accepted the challenge. Time and space around you appeared still, it was only you and him. But shortly, your eye was drawn to a detail in his clothing. A button was missing from his clothing, the first one from the top, and it was clear that it had been detached.

He noticed the movement of your gaze and your puzzlement. But before you could say anything, he had put the missing button in front of your face. As if to prevent you from doubting him and his promises to you.

"I read that giving the first button of one's uniform to the loved girl is a way of confession," he told you.

"Oh, your romantic side," and before you could ask him any more questions, he shushed you for the second time - like he used to do proudly when he explained the lesson he had learned because of you.

"Here, this is for you," he said handing you the button.  In the end, he kept his promise: he was in his perfect (uni)form, wearing his school uniform and demonstrating his love to you.

YOON JEONGHAN [ 윤정한 ]

Yoon Jeonghan was taller than you, his eyes were brown as hazelnut and his hair black as ebony, his skin was flawless and his smile was always feeble. Although his sneaky character did not match his angel and kind appearance. From the teacher’s point of view, he was the perfect, smart, and angelic student. To everyone, he was the popular, handsome, and cocky boy. To you, he was something more.

You two had many classes together during high school, and you managed to learn more about him. Even if you did not speak much to him, you caught another side of him. Behind his angel appearance and presumptuous acting was a gentle boy. That gentle boy that made you lose your mind for him. You noticed once how he helped a guy who was being bullied or another time when he stayed until 11 pm in the library to help a girl with her math homework. 

So time passed and he quickly became your crush, someone you would always look at and admire from afar. You can’t say that he did not like attention, because he did. But he liked them only when they focused on the things he wanted - like his appearance, his carelessness, his intelligence. He did not want to expose too much of his kind side and you always wondered why,  and the more you knew about him the more you started to like him.

One-side love, mh? That was what you kept reminding yourself while observing him from afar. Many gorgeous girls and boys liked him openly, but he always ended up rejecting them; so you chose to stay silent and watch him from afar.

On one hand, it was nice to have someone to romanticize, someone to think about before bed, or when you needed to cheer up. But immediately after that comfortable feeling, a melancholy one showed up. But it's the one-sided love, isn't it?

So the years passed, you changed, and your crush on him got stronger. Until the last days before the end of high school. When you found yourself, on the last Monday in high school, on a fresh summer night - instead of studying - focusing on the choice of the words for the anonymous letter you would have given to him tomorrow.

He did not want to expose too much of his kind side and you always wondered why,  and the more you knew about him the more you started to like him.You closed it at 10 am before putting it in his lock. As soon as you did, a huge weight lifted from your consciousness, making room for another.

He had seen you secretly place something in his locker. Because after you put the letter Jeonghan saw you, YN.

Yn, the one who won his heart since his freshman year of high school. The one who had been on his mind for years, and as much as he didn't want it, the heart decided on its own.  He instinctively came closer to see what it was, but you quickly moved away. After a week, you went from wanting to confess to wanting to die to hide your feelings for him. 

Your week was no different from his. Until Friday, the last day of school. Your heart lightened when all the exams - and the high school years with them - were over. The day was going beautifully, and you had stopped one last time to look at your - now ex-school. The others had slowly left, it was late afternoon, and you would have to go soon too. So many memories mixed with laughter and tears, so many regrets mixed with victories and disappointments.

Lost in your thoughts, you did not notice that he reached you. You were startled when someone patted your shoulder. He had arrived in silence, and without speaking he made so much noise in your heart that it started beating wildly. You looked at him awkwardly... since the day he saw you put the love letter into his locker, you had only given each other fleeting glances.

He kept not saying a word and looked down at his uniform. The sound of the button being detached from the uniform was the first sound you had heard since his arrival. Still, in disbelief, you didn't move.  He took your hand and placed the button in it.

He smiled at you, with the faint smile of him - the one that you loved so intensely - with those hazel eyes that had drawn you, he patted your head, and without saying anything he turned to leave. Was this perhaps his way of confessing… Wait, was he confessing?

Your surprised look was replaced by a huge smile, and your heart kept beating rapidly - but not anymore only for the love tension, now even for the exhaustion of running as you chased him, demanding answers, confessions, and maybe something more...

HONG JISOO [ 홍지수 ]

Everyone knew who Hong Jisoo was. Everyone called him Joshua, and he was known as one of the nicest and kindest boys at school.  However, he was so kind that people easily took advantage of him. Starting with occasional help with English homework, solving math problems, and planning for free private lessons several times per week.

Initially, he was happy that he could help everyone and was flattered when girls came to him with long letters that showed to be a mix of a confession of love and thanks for the school's help.

However, the more he gave of himself to others, the less of himself left. Joshua was gradually wearing himself out. He was so focused on others that he had forgotten about himself.

He thought about this for the first time as he left for school, with music in his ears as he finished tying up his uniform. Just as he was about to do so, he realized it was missing again the top button. The one that was meant to be given to the girl he loved. Instead, someone stole it for him when he had left his uniform in class for PE class.

It was the third time that week, but he had gradually accepted it because he didn't know who was responsible. He kept reminding himself that school would be over in a week. He could bear with it, right? So he arrived at school, greeted everyone with his usual cheerful smile, and sat down. Resigned that he would be without a button for one more day.

Or so he thought. In his underbench was a rosy cloth tissue, with a brand-new button inside and a small note saying: Take care of yourself.

The gesture made him smile immensely and soothed his troubled soul. Who on earth could it have been? Who on earth could have noticed what had happened to him?

And as his curiosity increased, so did your beats as you watched him bask in the happiness of having found your gift for him. Indeed, you had long noticed how much he was a victim of others' exploitation. 

And once, after you had asked him who his love was - referring to the missing button - he had told you that someone had even taken the button off his uniform.

Since then you began to feel closer to that boy, who appeared perfect and cheerful from a distance. And you had decided to help him secretly and from a distance.  And you realized that was great; seeing him happy after finding the button had already brightened your day.

The day had gone by swiftly, and you had exchanged a few words with him as usual. He had been gentle as always and proudly wore the button given to him.

The daily hour of PE arrived, and for the fourth time, his button was stolen.

This time it hurt him a bit more because it was a gift; you could see a blank expression on his face, a dull grin, and a suppressed anger with clenched teeth. That day he returned home earlier than everyone.

But the next day - the last day of school - you put for the second time a button on a pink tissue for him. “I am on your side; take care of yourself!” That was the new note you'd left on his desk.

As soon as he saw it, he hurried back to the school tailor's class and sewed it tightly to his uniform with a needle and thread.

Because it was the last day of school, you were both happy with the end of the tests, and your day went well until the last hour. You did not do PE, so you stayed in class and napped on your desk. 

You did it to rest but also tried to catch the button thief in the act. It had been a few minutes since you heard the classroom door open and saw who had come. You quickly took a picture, scaring the thief away, but the robbery had already happened, and the button was missing again. Anger welled up in your veins after Joshua's button was stolen for the umpteenth time.

Without thinking about it, you pulled off the first button on your uniform, and with the sewing kit you always carried with you, you put it on his uniform. 

Just in time for when your classmates returned to class.

You knew it was a button from the girl's uniform, but you hoped that he would not pay too much attention to it. And so it seemed, for he had said nothing and had only put his uniform back on.

So high school had ended, and you were heading home free of stress and negative feelings. When you heard someone call out your name. 

You stopped and turned around; it was Joshua. He was running toward you waving his hand. "There's something I want to give you." He told you as he caught his breath after catching up with you.

"I think you know the legend of the button given to the loved one - and you nodded as your heart rate grew, was this what you thought was going on? - Here. Here it is the button as an act of my love and gratitude for your kindness, which quietly brightened my day."

With that said, he approached your face and very carefully began stitching up the missing button on your uniform with one of his own.

On a pleasant summer day, you two confessed your love with a button exchange, hand in hand, and excitement in your heart.

#k-labels #k labels #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfics #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenario #seventeen x yn #svt #svt x reader #svt scenarios #svt fic #joshua fluff #joshua imagines #joshua x reader #joshua seventeen #joshua #hong jisoo #choi seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol #s.coups x yn #s.coups x reader #s.coups #jeonghan x you #yoon jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #svt 95's line

[seokgyuu]

hello mitchie beloved 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ how abt joshua and consensual free use/somnophilia <3 i'm in dire straits rn and i actually need to get used by this man for his own pleasure 24/7 🫶 /hj

++ hugs and kisses for being one of the sweetest people ever actually !!

A/N: kai, my beloved! i hope this is to your liking! thanks for the request, i loved writing it!! sending you love and hugs and kisses back <3

PAIRING: Joshua x Fem!Reader

GENRE: Smut MDNI!

WARNINGS: free use/somnophilia, fingering, unprotected sex, degradation (usage of the word slut) creampie

WORDCOUNT: 1.4k

Request are open! Check out my 1k special!

Smut under the cut

the thought of your boyfriend using you for his own pleasure has always been one that extremely excited you. joshua was sweet, a true angel most of the time. funny and kind and always trying to make you feel good, to take care of your needs before his own. for the longest time you felt almost ashamed of wanting him to use you whenever he wanted, but at some point you decided that the worst thing that could happen would be him saying he wasn’t really into that. and you’d be fine because it wasn’t like your sex life wasn’t fulfilling enough. 

what you had not expected was him growing beet red, his eyes wide in something like shock when you tell him. he is baffled, speechless really. and it takes him a few minutes to regain his composure. you smile at him, caress his hand and reassure him that it is just a thought. he is not obligated to act on your wish if he doesn’t feel comfortable. when he asks you what exactly you mean when you say whenever he wants, your answer makes him swallow. it makes his cock twitch in his underwear. it makes his mind go wild with thoughts he normally wouldn’t allow himself to have. you were his princess, his everything, so precious and good. you deserved to be pampered, to be treated like a queen. never would he ever allow himself to… but now this. now you’re telling him you want him to use you and it begins a process in his brain. 

a few days go by and you think joshua might just not be into it. and you’re cool with that. you go through your day as you usually do until one evening you come home from work and joshua is sitting at the dining table with his laptop and work notes scattered around. he looks up at you when you enter the room and gets up, his ears as red as his face a few days ago.

“baby,” he begins, his hands finding your hips and he kisses you once, twice, before placing his forehead against yours. 

“josh, what is it?” you ask, worried, one of your hands cupping his cheek. he licks his lips.

“what we discussed the other day… about me and you and…,” he looks at you and you know what he means, a small smile on your lips as you nod.

“well i was thinking … do you- do you really mean it when you say i can use you when you’re asleep?” 

your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but you are quick to nod. just the thought of it alone makes your cunt clench. 

“yes, honey, i mean it. i really… really would love for you to use me when i’m sleeping, or… any time at all, really. just want you to feel good, joshy.” 

your sultry voice and the way you look at him almost make him bend you over the table, doing as you wish right there. but there is still a report he needs to finish and so he just nods, kissing your cheek with a semi hard cock in his pants before sitting back down. 

he lays awake that night while you’re sound asleep. he had been worried you might not be able to sleep after what you’d discussed but here you are now. soft and cute snores proving you are really gone, one hand tucked under your cheek while the other lays flatly on the mattress. you are laying on your side, your backside turned to joshua and he contemplates. his cock has been hard for hours he feels. his heart is beating rapidly, even echoing in his ears and he thinks back to the words you had said a few days ago as well as tonight. you want him to use you. want him to feel good. so you would definitely be okay if he-

he finds himself pressed against your ass five seconds later. his cock is right there between your cheeks, still behind his boxers, but, god, does it feel good. he moans quietly, one hand moving to the front of you, touching your tit over your (his) sleep shirt. he wonders if your nipple will harden when you touch it. another moan escapes his throat when it does. he lets his hand slide underneath your shirt, thumb and index twirling your nipple, his cock growing even harder against your backside. he kisses the back of your neck, licks the spot underneath your ear and finally moves to touch you between your legs. 

joshua loves your pussy. loves it so much he literally can’t get enough of it. ever since your first conversation about this topic, he hadn’t touched you, so he’s a little scared of coming sooner than later. still, he feels your folds underneath your panties, letting a finger get coated in your juices to eventually push it inside, your tight walls clenching around him right away. he groans again, beginning to rock his hips against your ass, the friction making his eyes roll back. he ruts against you, free hand getting his cock out to actually feel your skin against his hard length and, fuck, it feels heavenly. he soon adds another finger, stretching your cunt open, letting it get adjusted before he’d finally sink into you and fuck you until he filled you to the brim. 

“so good for me even when asleep… my perfect princess,” he whispers, softly shoving you onto your stomach, leaving your cunt open for him to access. he licks his lips, lets his hand pump his cock a few times, before finally pulling out his fingers and replacing them with his leaking cock. 

the moan he lets out when he feels you around him almost wakes you up. just almost. your body reacts accordingly to what is happening - your pussy sucking him in as it always does, dripping onto the sheets as if your subconscious knows how fucking hot you find this. it probably does. joshua bottoms out, his hands are on either side of you, his hips rutting against your ass, cock now going in and out of your pussy in a speed that has him see stars. 

“f-fucking hell, such a good, perfect pussy, sh-shit,” he can’t keep his voice or his noises down and it doesn’t come as a surprise that you wake up with arousal shaking your whole body, all sleepiness gone within mere seconds. you cry out, your hands gripping the bed sheets as your cunt clenches around joshua’s cock over and over again.

“j-josh!” you whimper and he looks down at your face, sees your eyes staring at him, the hotness radiating from you. something inside of him shifts and his angelic demeanor disappears once and for all as he moves one hand to push your head into the mattress, his thrusts getting harder.

“such a slut, wants to get used like a toy doesn’t she? wants her cunt to be nothing but a cumrag, wants to wake up in the morning with it still dripping out of her, fuck,” he hears your cries against the mattress, feels you coming on his cock, the waves of pleasure almost getting him off the edge too.

“o-oh my god- j-josh, don’t stop!” you know there is more, know he can make you come at least one more time and joshua picks up his pace again, letting off your head and instead wrapping his arm around you to press his thumb down on your clit, your whole body jerking as you arch your back.

“what a good slut i got myself, such a good filthy slut, isn’t that right?” his eyes can’t stay open anymore, his hips moving at an uncontrollable speed and the second you cry out that, yes, you are nothing but a filthy slut, his cum shoots out his cock and into you, his moans music to your ears as he gets you over the edge once more, fucking the both of you through your orgasms. 

josh collapses on top of you, heavy breath against your ear and you feel sweat rolling down your forehead. your pussy is still pulsating around his softening cock and joshua jerks forward once again, kissing your neck.

“you’re incredible,” he mumbles against your skin and you chuckle, turning your head so you could see him a little better.

“i know,” you grin back and joshua laughs before pulling out of you and going back to his angelic self, walking to the bathroom to get you a warm wet cloth to clean yourself up.

#seventeen smut #svthub #joshua smut #hong jisoo smut #joshua hong smut #svt smut #joshua x reader #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen fanfiction #svt fanfiction #smut #joshua x you #joshua x yn

[svteclipwze]

𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓢𝓿𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓹𝔀𝔃𝓮 .ೃ࿐

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 she/her 18+ / minors do not interact ✧.*

⋆·˚ ༘ *for seventeen members only { only 18+ contains}

this blog contains, hard/mean behaviors, angst, rapes, suicides, violence, mature content, cursing, drugs/alcohol, blood,kidnapping, torture, smuts and so on ( I will give fluffs as well) which may be uncomfortable for some peoples then this blog is ain't for you. And minors are strictly prohibited from this blog.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪REQUEST ARE OPEN for all members except (seungkwan, woozi ) i don't know why but i can't write 18+ contain on them i see them as my brothers lol otherwise you can send me !!! I will work on them as well!! and inbox is always open for chats.

#mingyu #hong jisoo #yoon jeonghan #svt #jeon wonwoo #jeonghan x yn #jeonghan #carats #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu seventeen #seventeen imagines #mingyu smut #smut smut fic #smut series #seventeen #mingyu x y/n #scoups #joshua #wonwoo #woozi #dokyeom #minghao #svt dino #svt jun

[mirisss]

Whispers of Moonlit Hearts

Fairy crown prince! Hong Joshua x afab! Fairy! reader

Wordcount ≈ 3.7k

Warnings: forbidden love = sad, I think that’s it though. 

Genre: fantasy, royal, fairy, forbidden love, 

Summary: In the mystical realm of Elaria, a prince and an elusive fairy form a mysterious connection in the Enchanted Forest. Their unspoken affection blossoms amidst the magic in the heart of the enchanted realm.

A/n: This was inspired by fall and Halloween, exactly how, I don't know. Also, I tried a new style of writing for this one so please let me know if you like it more or less than my usual style.

When something is bolded it means it's like a new chapter.

Third person POV

In the heart of the Enchanted Forest, nestled between ancient towering trees and glistening waterfalls, lies the mystical kingdom of Elaria. The air is always sweet with the scent of blooming flowers, and the soft glow of enchanted fireflies illuminates the night. Elaria is a realm where magic weaves through every whispering breeze and dancing sunbeam, and mystical creatures roam freely under the benevolent rule of the Fairy Council.

At the heart of Elaria, a grand palace crafted from shimmering crystals and adorned with vines of glowing blossoms stands tall. It is here that the handsome young fairy prince, named Joshua, is soon to be crowned king. 

Joshua possesses a kind heart, his eyes as bright as the morning sun, and his laughter as melodious as the song of the forest birds. He is loved by all in the kingdom for his compassion and wisdom, traits that are said to be gifts from the ancient magical beings who once roamed the land of Elaria.

As the day of his coronation approaches, the kingdom buzzes with anticipation and excitement. The creatures of the land, from graceful unicorns to mischievous pixies, all eagerly prepare for the grand celebration. The palace gardens are alive with vibrant colors, and the sweet melodies of fairies practicing their enchanting songs fill the air.

Deep in the midst of the Enchanted Forest, where the moonlight weaves through the leaves like silver threads, there dances a young fairy named (Y/n). With eyes as bright as the stars, she possesses a spirit as wild and untamed as the forest itself. (Y/n) is known throughout the realm for her graceful dance and playful laughter, which can rival the melodies of the forest's songbirds.

She flutters through the woods with delicate wings that shimmer in shades of iridescent blue and silver. Her laughter is infectious, drawing mystical beings near with its joyous cadence. Around her, the air seems to sparkle, and flowers bloom in her footsteps. (Y/n) is a friend to all the creatures of the forest, from the elegant unicorns to the mischievous sprites, and she spends her days in the company of these magical beings.

In the soft glow of twilight, you can find (Y/n) dancing amidst the fireflies, her movements a symphony of grace and light. With each step, she weaves spells in the air, casting a magical aura that enchants all who witness her dance. The mystical beings of the forest gather around her, joining in her playful games and reveling in the enchantment she brings to their lives.

Under the silvery glow of the full moon, (Y/n) danced amidst the ancient trees, her movements as fluid as the gentle breeze that rustled the leaves. The forest was alive with enchantment, and little did she know, it was about to become even more magical.

As (Y/n) twirled, her laughter tinkled like chimes in the night, drawing the attention of Prince Joshua, who happened to be exploring the woods in disguise, his royal garb concealed beneath a cloak of twilight shadows. Intrigued by the joyful sound, he followed the melody of her laughter until he spotted her in a moonlit glade, surrounded by curious woodland creatures.

Joshua hid behind the creatures, enchanted by her dance just like the fireflies who danced with her in the night. Her wings sparkled as if they had been adorned with diamonds. Joshua was awakened from her charming spell as she suddenly came to a stop and looked right at him. 

“Hello there, nightwalker,” Joshua was surprised that she had seen him for her shining eyes had been closed during her dance, yet she knew exactly where he had been standing for the last couple of minutes admiring the beautiful fairy’s dance. “Hi, you must be the one they call ‘Lady of the Moon’, or am I mistaken?” Joshua walked over to the moonlit space where the girl had been dancing previously, all to take a closer look at the fairy. “That is true, they also call me crazy for only socializing with the woodland creatures rather than the other fairies, so take your pick,” Joshua couldn’t help but snicker at the fairy’s remark, everything about her so far intrigued him like no one had ever done before. 

“And who might you be, nightwalker?” (Y/n) slightly flapped her wings as she floated around in the air around the boy whom she had never seen before. Though he was mostly covered by a dark cloak, she could still see part of his handsome face and proud stance. Indicating that he was from the city, a noble fairy. The cloak might have been dark but the material was thick and expensive, not something just an ordinary woodland fairy would possess. 

Joshua was conflicted over whether to reveal his identity or keep it hidden. He deeply desired to know more of the dancing fairy in front of him, though as crown prince of Elaria, he feared that she wouldn’t wish to speak more with him. Carefully, he lifted his hands and lowered the hood of his cloak, revealing his face to the girl who fluttered her wings and danced around him. 

“My name is Joshua, what is your name, Miss Lady of the Moon?” (Y/n) gasped as the mysterious man revealed his face and his name. The man was crown prince Joshua of Elaria. The man who would soon be the ruler of the Enchanted Forest. (Y/n) immediately fell into a bow. “Excuse my manors, your highness. My name is (Y/n),” “Please don’t bow to me, (Y/n). I am not here as your prince, I am simply a nightwalker wandering the forest, you may call me Shua,” Joshua extended his hand toward (Y/n), offering to help bring her out of the bow. 

(Y/n) hesitantly took the prince’s extended hand and raised herself. “Thank you, Shua. It does feel wrong to call you by such a name though if it is what my prince desires I shall obey,” “How come you’re out here dancing in the moonlight?” (Y/n) flapped her wings once again, slightly rising from the ground, twirling in the light breeze. “It’s peaceful, most of the time it is just the woodland creatures and I. No one here to judge us, meaning we are free to do what we wish. And also, I enjoy the Enchanted Forest during nighttime a little more than during the day, I can’t explain why, it is just how I have always been,” 

Joshua removed his cloak, revealing his wings. Prince Joshua’s wings were a marvel to behold, reminiscent of the dawn sky kissed by the first light of day. They were expansive, stretching gracefully from his back, and shimmered in hues that shifted like the colors of the morning horizon. The base of his wings was a deep, velvety indigo, reminiscent of the twilight sky, blending seamlessly into shades of cobalt and sapphire as they extended outward.

In the moonlight, his wings took on an ethereal glow, casting a soft luminescence that illuminated the night around him. Delicate patterns, reminiscent of intricate constellations, adorned the membranes, their silvery lines glowing softly, enhancing the wings' otherworldly beauty. Each movement caused the patterns to dance, creating a mesmerizing display of light and shadow.

(Y/n) gasped in awe as Joshua revealed his magnificent wings, their iridescent splendor catching the moonlight in a dazzling display. Her eyes widened in wonder, mirroring the sparkle of the stars above, as she took in the breathtaking sight before her. The enchanting patterns and delicate shimmer left her utterly mesmerized, her heart skipping a beat at the ethereal beauty of his wings.

A sense of reverence washed over (Y/n) as she realized the true nature of the prince standing before her. She sensed the depth of his royal lineage and the immense responsibility he bore. Yet, despite his regal appearance, there was a warmth in his eyes and a gentleness in his smile that put her at ease.

Unable to contain her admiration, (Y/n) stepped closer, her fingers gently tracing the intricate patterns on his wings. "They're... they're extraordinary," she whispered, her voice filled with genuine admiration. "I've never seen anything so beautiful."

Joshua’s eyes softened with gratitude at her words, appreciating the sincerity in her gaze. He extended his hand, inviting her to touch his wings, a silent gesture of trust and friendship. As her fingertips brushed against the soft wings, a subtle, magical energy tingled in the air, sealing the bond between them and marking the beginning of a remarkable friendship in the heart of the enchanted forest. “May I dance with you?” Joshua asked as he smiled at the girl who admired his wings. (Y/n) answered with a smile and a little nod. 

Under the luminous embrace of the moon, Prince Joshua and (Y/n) took flight, their wings carrying them gracefully into the night sky. Their movements were as harmonious as the melody of the forest, twirling and spinning amidst the stars, leaving behind a trail of stardust that shimmered in their wake. The enchanted night seemed to come alive with their dance as if the very essence of the forest was celebrating their newfound friendship.

With every dip and soar, they laughed, their voices mingling with the night wind, creating a joyous symphony that resonated through the trees. The woodland creatures below, drawn by the magical aura surrounding the pair, watched in awe. Deer peeked from behind ancient oaks, rabbits paused in their midnight nibbling, and owls hooted in rhythm with their dance, adding a natural melody to the enchanted evening.

Joshua and (Y/n) shared a connection that transcended words, their laughter echoing the shared secrets of the forest. They danced with a grace that mirrored the rustle of leaves and the flow of streams, their wings flickering like shooting stars as they spun and glided through the night. Their movements seemed effortless, guided by an invisible thread of understanding that bound them together.

As they descended back to the forest floor, the woodland creatures approached, their eyes filled with admiration and curiosity. Squirrels chattered excitedly, and butterflies fluttered around them as if offering their applause to the charming pair. Joshua and (Y/n) greeted their audience with smiles, their laughter blending with the night sounds of the forest.

In that magical moment, surrounded by the wonders of nature and the camaraderie of woodland beings, Prince Joshua and (Y/n) found solace in each other's company. Their dance in the moonlight had not only enchanted the forest but had also woven the beginnings of a timeless friendship, destined to be celebrated by both the mystical realm and the hearts of those who witnessed their extraordinary bond. 

The sun began rising from its sleep as the newfound friends sat on the ground admiring the song of the birds as they too awoke from their sleep. Shua hastily stood from the ground as he realized just how long he had been out there in the forest. (Y/n) followed after the prince, standing up though the girl was confused over why he seemed so distressed. “Is something wrong, Shua?” 

“I have to leave, I should have been back at the castle long ago,” The prince hurriedly put his cloak back on and he began to leave. After taking a few steps he stopped and turned back to the fairy whom he had been dancing with all through the night. “I’ll come back to visit you as soon as I can, I promise,” “I’ll be waiting for you, here in the meadow,” And so the two parted ways, dreaming of the next time they would see one another. 

As the moons waxed and waned, Prince Joshua continued his visits to the Enchanted Forest, drawn back by the irresistible pull of (Y/n)'s laughter and the warmth of her spirit. Each encounter deepened their friendship, and with every shared moment, the bond between them grew stronger.

In the quiet glades and under the starlit canopies, they talked about their dreams and fears, shared stories of their respective worlds, and discovered the depths of each other's hearts. Their friendship was a sanctuary, a place where they could be their true selves without the constraints of titles or responsibilities.

Unbeknownst to each other, their hearts were entwined in a tapestry of emotions. Shua found himself captivated not just by (Y/n)'s beauty but by her kindness, her laughter echoing in his dreams. (Y/n), too, found herself thinking of Joshua when the sun dipped below the horizon, his smile lighting up her thoughts like the first rays of dawn.

As the seasons changed, the forest bore witness to stolen glances and lingering touches, both hesitant yet filled with unspoken affection. Their secret feelings, like the delicate petals of a rare flower, unfolded slowly, revealing the depth of their connection. The enchanted forest, with its ancient wisdom, seemed to embrace their burgeoning love, its rustling leaves and melodious birdsong serenading their hearts.

In the quiet of the moonlit nights, Shua and (Y/n) found solace in the shared secrets of their hearts. They longed for the courage to confess their feelings, yet the fear of changing their precious friendship held them back. Little did they know that the forest, with its timeless wisdom, was gently guiding them toward a love that was as boundless and eternal as the enchanting realm they called home.

A moment suspended in time, a culmination of unspoken words and lingering glances, set against the backdrop of the Enchanted Forest. The air was thick with anticipation, charged with the magic of the night, as the prince and (Y/n) stood beneath the silvery canopy of leaves, bathed in the soft glow of the moon.

Shua’s heart beat like a drum, echoing the rhythm of the forest around them, as he gently cupped (Y/n)'s face in his hands, his touch as tender as the caress of a morning breeze. His eyes, deep pools of emotion, searched hers for permission, and finding nothing but trust and affection, he leaned in slowly, his lips meeting hers in a soft, hesitant kiss.

Time seemed to stand still as their lips touched, a gentle and innocent connection that sent shivers down their spines. It was a kiss filled with the sweetness of friendship, the warmth of unspoken love, and the promise of something more. The world around them faded away, leaving only the sensation of each other's presence, the softness of their lips, and the shared heartbeat that echoed the depths of their feelings.

As they pulled away, their eyes met, and in that silent exchange, they acknowledged the depth of their emotions. A tender smile curved on Joshua’s lips, mirrored by (Y/n)'s, as they realized that their friendship had blossomed into a love that was as boundless as the Enchanted Forest itself. At that moment, the entire magical realm seemed to celebrate their love, with the rustling leaves and twinkling stars bearing witness to the beginning of a beautiful, enduring romance, destined to be etched into the tapestry of their hearts forever

“Come with me to the castle, (Y/n),” (Y/n) looked up into the eyes of the boy she loved dearly, tears silently filling them. “I can’t, Shua. I can’t leave my home here,” “Please, darling, you can always return here, if you come with me to the castle, you can attend my coronation ball and I can introduce you to my parents, if we do that, we can be together forever,” (Y/n) walked a few steps away from Joshua, turning her head to look up at the moon. The winter sparkles slowly fall around them. “Why can’t you stay here with me?” 

“I have a duty to my kingdom, (Y/n). I’m the crown prince of Elaria. I can’t just leave the throne, I have no brother or sister who can take it for me. I am the lone heir to the throne,” “I need some time to think, Joshua. I have lived in this forest my entire life, I don’t think I can bear to part with it or the woodland creatures who have spent countless nights with me dancing under the night sky,” With that, the lovers parted ways, for the first time, their goodbyes were laced with sadness and hurt rather than overflowing with love. 

The night of the coronation ball arrived, and the grand palace of Elaria glittered like a thousand stars. The air was filled with the sweet fragrance of blooming flowers, and the soft glow of enchanted chandeliers illuminated the magnificent ballroom. Velvet curtains, rich in hues of midnight blue and silver, cascaded from the high windows, creating an ambiance of regal splendor.

Noble fairies and mystical beings from all corners of the realm gathered in their most resplendent attire. Joshua, now dressed in royal garments adorned with intricate patterns of silver thread and sapphires, stood at the entrance of the ballroom, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of excitement and responsibility. His crown, a masterpiece of enchantment, rested upon his head, symbolizing the weight of his new role as the king of Elaria.

The ballroom was alive with music, the melody of harps and flutes weaving through the air, inviting couples to dance in perfect harmony. The guests twirled and swirled, their laughter and conversations filling the space, creating an atmosphere of joy and celebration.

Amidst the grandeur, Joshua’s eyes searched the crowd, longing for the presence of (Y/n). He felt a pang of sadness, a void in his heart, as he realized she wasn't there. Despite the festivities, his thoughts kept drifting to her, the absence of her laughter and her smile casting a subtle shadow over his joyous occasion.

Unbeknownst to Joshua, (Y/n) had chosen not to attend the ball, her heart torn between her happiness for his achievement and the ache of unspoken emotions. Instead, she stayed in the quiet depths of the Enchanted Forest, her thoughts with the prince even as she danced beneath the moonlit canopy with the woodland creatures. The stars above seemed to reflect the sorrow in her eyes, mirroring the bittersweet nature of their relationship.

As the night wore on, Joshua fulfilled his royal duties with grace, his laughter mingling with the melodies of the ballroom. Yet, in the midst of the celebration, he couldn't shake the feeling of incompleteness, a yearning for the presence of the one person who held his heart in the gentle embrace of her hands.

After the glittering coronation ball, Joshua couldn't shake off the lingering sense of emptiness that enveloped him. Fueled by an overwhelming desire to find (Y/n), he ventured into the Enchanted Forest once more. The moon hung low in the sky, casting ethereal shadows among the ancient trees as he searched, his heart pounding in his chest.

With each step, he called out her name, his voice carrying through the rustling leaves and the whispers of the night breeze. "Y/n!" he cried, his tone filled with a mix of urgency and longing, but there was no reply except for the symphony of the forest.

Alone in the fading light, (Y/n) clutched the letter that would change everything, tears staining the ink. Each stroke was a reminder of a love that was slipping away, leaving her stranded in a sea of heartache. As she heard the cries of her lover come closer she hurried to leave the envelope on the ground where they shared their first kiss before she left, seeking shelter in the deep dark forest she called her home. 

Finally, he reached a familiar clearing, where he had often met (Y/n) under the moonlight. There, beneath the soft glow of the stars, he found a delicate parchment bearing his name, placed gently upon a bed of moss. His hands trembled as he unfolded the letter, his eyes scanning the elegant handwriting.

"My dearest Shua," the letter began, its words imbued with both love and sorrow. "I cherish the moments we shared, the laughter, and the unspoken bond between us. But I must follow my heart's path, even if it leads me away from you. Know that you will always reside in the deepest corners of my soul, and our memories will be my guiding stars."

Joshua’s heart sank as he read her words, realizing that his beloved had chosen a different journey, one that didn't include him by her side. He closed his eyes, a mixture of grief and understanding washing over him. The forest seemed to echo his pain, the leaves whispering their sympathy in the night.

In the quiet of the Enchanted Forest, beneath the sorrowful moon, Joshua stood alone, holding the letter to his chest as he let the reality of her absence settle in. Although he couldn't hold her in his arms, the memory of their shared moments, the warmth of her smile, and the echo of her laughter would forever be etched in his heart, a bittersweet reminder of a love that had once blossomed in the magical depths of Elaria.

"My love, my heart aches with every step you take away from me. I wish I could rewrite fate, but the burden of the kingdom weighs heavily upon my shoulders. Please know that my sacrifice is not a measure of my love for you, but a testament to the duty I must uphold. May time heal our wounds and bring you the happiness you deserve." Joshua said out loud, wishing that the wind would carry his heartfelt words to his lost lover. He then left the forest, throughout his long reign on the throne he never once returned to that sacred spot in the forest too scared he would find (Y/n) dancing with someone who was not him. 

#joshua hong #joshua x reader #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x yn #seventeen x afab reader #Svt #svt x reader #svt x yn #svt joshua #hong joshua x reader #joshua x afab!reader #fairy au #fantasy au #prince! joshua #prince au #shua x reader #seventeen joshua #seventeen joshua x reader #svt fluff #svt angst #fluff #angst #mirisss #mirisss.favorites #forbidden love #forbidden love trope #forbidden love au

[wonlouvre]

I don't know if you take requests, but it doesn't hurt asking. Can we possibly get a continuation to this 🥰🥰

can’t wait for forever | h. js.

pairing: joshua x g.n. reader genre: fluff warnings: mentions of food and eating, joshua is drunk but baby drunk (if that makes any sense lol) word count: 660+

💌: this has been in my inbox for over a year and i sincerely apologize for responding to this request so late :( i only realized that the account has been deactivated when i finished writing this short request :(( i’m really sorry. i hope that someday in someway, you still get to read this :(

---

Joshua was red all over when he arrived at your apartment. The security guard of your building was kind enough to bring him up to your unit, treating him like a son as he assisted him back to you. They gave you a kind smile as they greeted you with your boyfriend sleepy, head hanging low and just wanting to fall face flat on the bed.

You received a message from one of his friends that they’re on their way home and you were expecting Joshua. That's why you prepared your coat before going down the entrance of your apartment. You just didn’t expect that he would arrive so soon.

You said your thanks and advanced a happy new year before draping your boyfriend’s arm around your shoulder and taking it from there. The security guard smiles again before walking back to the elevator and their duty.

Joshua is not a terrible drunk, but when he drinks with his friends, he really drinks. You don’t mind taking care of him because before coming back to you, his friends together with their managers do their best to make sure that they’re sober enough to not do anything stupid in public. And to be honest, that helps you in the best way possible.

Just like now, Joshua is just tired and sleepy. He just wants to take his thick coat off and get naked because again, he is red and uncomfortably burning hot. But you won’t let him just yet.

You gently lay your boyfriend down on the couch before walking to the kitchen and fetch him some water. You can hear him groan and whine, typical drunk Joshua. You fix him a glass then return as quick as you can.

“Josh, sit up for a second, hmm?” You asked softly. He tries opening his eyes at the sound of your voice and you could laugh with how hard he is trying. But you control yourself because you don’t want him upset over your teasing.

When he finally gets to open his eyes wide open, he sees you and smiles the goofiest smile he has ever smiled.

“Baby,” he says. “You’re here.”

You nod, still holding the glass and waiting for him to drink. “I am. Can you be a good boy and sit up for me and drink some water? Please?”

He giggles and it’s adorable. He sits up slowly, afraid to get dizzy. You sit in the space beside him and let his head fall on your shoulder. His nose nestles on your skin affectionately like a cat asking for some love. You did, kissing the side of his head and waiting patiently for him.

“It’s my birthday,” he murmurs and you just smile.

“You’re right,” you reaffirm even though it’s already the 31st, your lips ghosting against his hair as you spoke.

“We had some drinks then some good food,” he continues and you listen. “Wished you were there though.”

Your heart lurches and you apologize a hundred times.

“I’m here now,” you whisper like a promise and that makes your Joshua sigh in content.

He finally drinks the water and you go to sleep together without forgetting to change clothes and say your “I love yous.”

The next morning, Joshua woke up earlier than you expected from someone who has a hangover. He surprised you with a simple breakfast, as a form of thank you and of course, an extension of his birthday celebration. 

It will sound unbelievable, but this man never failed to make you smile. It makes you a thousand times grateful that you get to celebrate his birthday with him. Having him here, his entire existence, is also special for you. 

You reward your boyfriend with a long kiss before thanking him and joining him in fixing up the table. His lips lifts upward against yours and gives you one more kiss on the forehead before finally digging in. 

You can’t wait for next year, and the one after that, and forever.

---

a/n 2: happy birthday joshua! <3 (i managed to borrow a laptop and snuck some writing down. thank you guys for patiently waiting and understanding<3)

#seventeen #joshua hong #seventeen scenarios #joshua scenarios #seventeen imagines #joshua imagines #seventeen scenario #joshua scenario #seventeen imagine #joshua imagine #seventeen fluff #joshua fluff #seventeen fanfic #joshua fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen x yn #joshua x reader #joshua x yn #hong jisoo #drabble: can't wait for forever

[yuusworldd]

joshua.

twitter au;

in which dokyeom shares that his friend is an excellent teacher at teaching people how to play the guitar. you had always wanted to play the guitar and figured you can ask dokyeom's friend. fortunately for you, dokyeom's friend, hong joshua, is a really nice guy. one thing led to another and you find yourself spending time with joshua using the excuse 'you just want to learn how to play the guitar'.

pt 2 over here!

note: i feel like the summary isn't as spot on as the actual thing but mm i dont really know 💁🏻‍♀️ if u cant guess, the next member i will be writing about is cheol

#seventeen #joshua #hong jisoo #joshua x reader #female reader #joshua fluff #joshua oneshot #joshua fic #joshua fanfic #svt fic #kpop #dokyeom #yn #twitter au #guitar #svt #svt x reader #svt fluff #joshua x y/n #joshua x you

[jeonginssa]

things i’ll never say | h.js

author’s note: this is part of a series where yn and seventeen have broken up, each writes the other a letter and doesn’t send it

pairing: joshua x reader

genre: ANGST

content warnings: knife mention (to describe heartache)

playlist:

[yn]

mr perfectly fine - taylor swift

2 soon - keshi

[joshua]

shift - the rose

i.l.y - the rose

Dear Shua,

The rain hasn’t stopped falling since you left. I thought you would be the one. The one to show me that it wasn’t all hopeless and that love could last forever. I hadn’t foreseen that you would be the one to show me that love does last forever but only for one of us. I should have seen it coming. In your sincerely insincere apologies for the benefit of the room rather than the benefit of me.

I’m sorry I let myself fall in love with you, much like the rain, I just keep falling. I think my tears might be proof of who you really are but you never got to see me cry anyway. I kept my pain to myself and you had no pain to share.

I watch you walking around with a smile on your face like I was just a fleeting moment with no effect on you at all. You said you’d never go away. I guess you were never mine anyway. I don’t know why I’m writing you this. I’m never going to send it but I guess that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.

Yours Always,

YN

Yn,

I don’t know what I’m thinking writing this letter to you. Maybe I’m not thinking at all. It hurts so much to walk past you and try to force a smile when I want to break down at your feet and beg for forgiveness. But I won’t do that, you deserve better than me.

I hope you move on and find someone who will brighten your days in ways I never could. I hope you hate me, it would hurt less that way. I hope you remember that the problem was always me. I hope you don’t give up on love.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still in love with you. That I don’t still fall asleep picturing the way you flutter your eyelashes in your slumber. That I don’t see flowers and think of you. That I don’t look for you in every crowd I encounter. That there isn’t a constant stabbing pain in my chest. That the knife in my heart doesn’t twist every time someone mentions your name.

I don’t love you anymore.

Sincerely,

A liar x

#seventeen angst #joshua angst #joshua hong #seventeen imagine #joshua imagines #joshua x reader #joshua x yn

[reikaryu]

this is our destiny ✰ svt jsh

pairing — joshua hong x fem!reader

genre — one-shot, angst, forbidden love

summary — your and joshua’s families were best friends since the start. but ever since the truth was revealed about your occupations, best friends no longer existed.

loosely based off rewrite the stars by zac efron and zendaya

warning(s) — character death, mentions of guns and killing

word count — 1.4k words

author’s note — this was done in a span of one and a half hours so it’s pretty not well done </3 this was also supposed to be very much longer but yeah :,) (update: I may be rewriting this because I’m not satisfied with it)

“Miss YN,” a soft voice whispered from the tiny crack of the open door. You looked up from your book at the mention of your name. “Mr and Mrs Yoon want you in the living room.” The maid continued, then left after you mumbled out an ‘alright’ as an acknowledgement. You marked where you left off using a bookmark and got off your canopy bed, slipping on your fluffy slippers and making your way out of your bedroom, down the spiral staircase, and into the living room.

Your parents were seated on one of the longer couches, facing another pair of what you assumed to be parents, as beside the ‘visitors’ were two young children: one a boy and the other, a girl. You took a seat beside your mother, but left some space for your brother who had just arrived. Now, you were sitting directly opposite the boy who looked almost your age — maybe a year or two older.

You seemed to not notice the ongoing conversation between your father and the other family’s patriarch. That was until you heard your and your brother’s name being called out. “Allow me to introduce my family. This is my wife, Yoon Minyoung,” your father said, gesturing to your mother, “my first-born, Yoon Jeonghan,” he gestured to your brother, “and my second-born, Yoon YN,” alas, he gestured to you.

The other patriarch smiled at you and your three-year-older brother, to which the both of you replied with the same gesture. “My wife, Katherine Hong, my daughter, Joanne Hong, and my son, Joshua Hong,” he spoke with grace as he introduced his family.

──────

“Where’s my book?” you questioned Joshua, giving him a stern look. He replied with a shrug and a poorly-hidden grin on his perfect face. You sighed and turned away, walking in the other direction to search for your book in the study room.

After another thirty minutes of unsuccessful searching, you were starting to tear up. That book was your favourite book by far, and you hadn’t even finished reading it yet. At the sight of your glossy irises, Joshua felt his heart ache and silently left the room, coming back with your book in his hand. He handed it over to you, saying, “It was under your bed. Sorry.” He gave you a sheepish look and pulled you in for a hug, halting your tears from spilling out.

──────

You were literally on the edge of your seat as you watched the game unfold before your eyes. You came here because you wanted to see your school’s team win, though you really only wanted to see Jeonghan and Joshua play. They make a really good match while playing.

Ten more seconds on the clock and both teams were still tied. You took a glance to your left, where Joanne was seated, and you could see her hands rubbing against each other. You watched as Mingyu, a member of your school’s team, passed the ball to Soonyoung, another member. The ball was so close to the goal, and with five more seconds left, you doubted your school’s team could aim so accurately that the incredibly skilled keeper of the rival team would have no chance of blocking it.

But they did. And your team won.

You rushed down the stands and ran toward your brother first. He pulled you in for a tight hug, lifting you off the ground and swinging you around. You were almost as happy as he was. Your grins when he set you down were almost mirroring the latter’s.

“So, tell me, did you watch me or Jeonghan more during the game?” Joshua asked you and Joanne, your brother hitting his arm playfully at the question. “Be honest — I just want to know.” You shared a look with Joanne, then burst out into little fits of laughter.

She was the first one to speak. “I watched you for the majority of the game, and I think I’m correct to say that YN did, too, but for her own brother.” You nodded at her words, taking a sip of your drink. You swore you saw a hint of disappointment in Joshua’s eyes.

──────

“At 22:55 last night, on the twenty-sixth of June, it was revealed that the Yoon family is actually the leading family of the mafia, while the Hong family is the leading family of the secret police, two very well-known organisations that seem to always be at each other’s necks. Evidence has stated that—”

Your father angrily turned off the television, throwing the remote across the room, fury enveloping him. You had never seen your father this mad. “Everyone, start packing!” he shouted to his men, then turned to you, your brother and your mother. “We find them, and we kill them. Do you understand?” The three of you nodded your head and left promptly.

Your head had no room to think of how unlikely it was for your family’s best friend to actually be your rival in the real world of mafias and police. You focused your mind on figuring out where your target might be and kill him off. Luckily, he was only taking a breather on a nearby apartment building — no doubt a disguise for one of the secret police’s bases underground.

“Hey, babe,” he said from where he was, leaning over the railings of the rooftop. “How did you find me so quick?” You knew he was trying to buy himself time.

Your hand furled and unfurled around the pistol’s handle, and you made the difficult decision of fastening it on your belt. You strided over to him, taking your place on his left. “YN, you don’t have to do this—”

“I do.” Your reply was stiff, and you did not allow yourself to look him in the eye, even when you felt him turn to face you.

But he persisted, “No, you don’t. You don’t have to listen to your father. We can run — run to a place where no one knows us. Somewhere we can live the life we’ve always wanted. A life where I can start a family with you, without caring about being outed.” He grabbed your hands and forced you to face him. You saw the tears glistening in his eyes.

“Yes, Joshua, I do. I have to listen to my father and we absolutely cannot run from this. My parents will get to us before we get the chance to board a plane, and there is no such place where no one will recognise us and report us to my parents. We have to live with this. We can’t change our fate.” Your voice almost betrayed you as you spoke the painful words of truth.

Joshua scoffed, eyes detached from yours for a split second. “So you’re telling me that you can live with me being dead? That you can live with the guilt of killing your beloved? I don’t think I could, if I were you.”

“But you’re not me,” you retorted, pulling your hands away from him to grab his shoulders. “Josh, listen. If I don’t kill you by tonight, my parents won’t do it themselves. They’ll torture you; torture us. They’ll make me suffer for not completing my mission. That is the harsh reality. You need to understand that there’s no going back. I never had a choice in the first place.” You shook him hard to knock some sense into him, but he didn’t want to accept it.

He shook his head. “Your parents can decide your life, but they can’t decide mine. I can sign a truce with your family. I can ask my parents to retire and we won’t interfere with your work ever again. We can even join your mafia and help you out. That way we can still be together.”

You wanted to cry. He was so insistent on changing everything. He didn’t even know that his parents were probably already dead by now. “Josh, my love … I’m so sorry for this,” you whispered and pressed your lips against his. You wanted to savour the lasting moment, because this would be the last time you would share a kiss with your first and last love. You felt him kiss back, and your tears streamed down your cheeks as you thought about how the feeling of your lips would be the last thought of his before he died.

Your hand slowly slipped down his arm to the pistol fastened on your belt. In a swift motion, it was off your waist and the trigger was pulled. You kept your lips against his as one of his hands pressed against his new bullet wound. You felt your tears mix with his as he went limp against you. You settled him down gently on the rooftop ground and pressed one last kiss to the backside of his hand.

“I love you, Joshua. I’m sorry.”

reblogs are appreciated ! ♡

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[wongyuuu]

midnight rain | lsm

pairing: seokmin x f!reader genre: angst, smut, a little bit of fluff word count: 17k summary: after seven years away, you finally return home. meeting seokmin again wasn't in your plans, but life wasn't willing to let you have it your way. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, oral, swearing, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do this) a/n: this is part of 1k event, it was requested the dearest @ressonancee. but also, it's part of svt ans songs from midnights. i just wrote two in one and something that was supposed to be short became this monster. i hope i wrote seokmin in a way you'll like it. prompt: “I don’t want anyone else. No one else can make me feel like you do." Seokmin ➝ Midnight Rain He was sunshine, I was midnight rain ↳ it was the oldest story in the world, the bright boy fell for the grumpy girl.

Letter #1

Seokmin,

You know, I've always been very proud of not being a very attached person. I've always been proud that I can put myself first and second, because I know I need to do it, because I know that no one else will do it for me. So, when I came here and dropped everything I had, I thought it would be a lot easier than it actually is.

When I turn around in bed at night, after days of trying to get used to the time zone and weeks to the weather and the people here — which are both bad and for completely different reasons, nothing is like in the movies — I always hope to find you there by my side and being able to snuggle up to you like I always did. I wake up in the morning and make enough coffee for two people and take two mugs out of the cupboard, and only then do I realize I'm alone here. I don't need two mugs and I made too much coffee. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, I find myself typing your number, which I have memorized despite the fact that no one remembers phone numbers, because phones exist for a reason.

You have no idea how much I miss you and what I would do to be able to hear your voice again. I would do anything, I swear I could. But I know I no longer have that right. I know that what I did is unforgivable and although I want your forgiveness, I hope you never forget what I did to you.

You were still good to me on the last day. You took me to the airport, you said goodbye to me, you hugged me tight like you know I like it and you did your best not to shed a tear in front of me.

Every now and then I catch myself thinking that I messed up. I could have done my master's where we graduated, I didn't need to move to the other side of the world and leave the life I knew behind. But at the same time, I accept it. Coming here was my dream, it was always what I dreamed of even when you were by my side as well. And maybe that's why I never told you about the application, about being approved. Maybe I waited until the end, until the very last second to tell you because I knew you were the only one capable of changing my mind.

When I was by your side, I started to dream of a different life, a life that had you at all times and in all aspects. But, as you may have already noticed, I chose my first dream.

I know I won't regret it. I can't afford to regret it. You’ll become who you always wanted to be and I’ll be there to give you a standing ovation. Not there, next to you, but from afar.

yn 

“That was Sunday Morning, by Hong Joshua. Ah, whenever I hear this song I remember my college days. I've said this here a few times, and I think I sound like a broken record by this point, but Joshua and I went to the same college and he was always singing this song in the hallways. Any small gathering between friends he would pull out the guitar and sing. So I'm sorry, but you're going to have to listen to this song at least once a week for the next year. Or until he releases the next one.”

Seokmin looked at the monitor to his right as a pre-recorded commercial for the next show started. The comments were going up too quickly, which made reading them an almost impossible mission.

On the other side of the glass, Chan made a sign indicating that the commercial was over. Seokmin looked at his friend as he lowered one finger after another and finally pointed at him. Chan placed a sheet of paper, which was always used, against the glass, which said “last, chat”. Indicating that he still had one more question to answer.

“We have time for one more question” Seokmin said, opening the internal chat he used with the other radio employees and read the question that Chan had sent “I ended a relationship of almost four years a few months ago, but I still can't understand what happened. I haven't even returned his things yet. How do I get in touch saying I want to return it?”

Seokmin swallowed. He knew that Chan hadn't done it on purpose, that he had no way of knowing everything that had happened between him and you, but he hated how much the question resonated in his head. It was a feeling he shared and for him it had been a little worse because you lived together during your last year of college. So when he entered the house and saw all the furniture, the decorations, your clothes still in the closet, it was like entering a time machine. In that 30 square meter space, for a few minutes, you still hadn't left.

He took a deep breath, away from the microphone so the sound wouldn't be picked, and leaned forward.

“It's a difficult question, really. If it's been a few months and he still hasn't picked his things up, it's because he doesn't need them, so I don't think you should bother contacting him. Hmmm”

He bit his lip and rested his elbows on the table, thinking if he should continue talking or if it would be better to stop there. Seokmin always thought it was better not to let personal feelings show on the radio, but he had moments when he couldn't follow his own rules.

“I can tell you from experience that sometimes silence is better. Because if you know the truth, it could hurt you even more. When I was in a similar situation, after a while I simply discarded the person's belongings. At first, it will be difficult, because you’ll see that shirt you gave as a gift, that letter you wrote and remember what it meant, the moment you gave those things to him. But little by little you will achieve it. Don't feel obligated to just move on when you're not ready. People will always tell you that it's about time, that it's been so many weeks or months. You’re the one who knows about your feelings.”

Chan knocked on the glass again, almost desperate because Seokmin's answer had been too long. It wasn't the first time he had gotten lost in what he was saying and maybe had been talking in circles. It always happened that he remembered you when he answered a question.

And in that specific question he was being a hypocrite because he knew that if he opened his closet, deep inside it, he would find at least two boxes full of your things hidden. He rarely went near those boxes, he liked to pretend they didn't exist and most days he managed to achieve that thought. But there were other days…

“So we come to the end of another Cupid's Corner with Minnie. See you again next week. Cupid’s Corner with Minnie: Unveiling Love’s Melody, One Relationship at a Time!”

Seokmin removed his headphones, stood up, and waved at the cameras he knew were pointed at him. He grabbed his phone and the bottle of water he always carried with him. The red light above the door finally went out and Seokmin left the studio.

Immediately, Chan appeared beside him. He had just gone blond, and it strangely suited him.

He knew the youngest was desperate, not that he was doing a good job of hiding it. The disheveled hair, pointing in all directions, also helped a lot.

“You’re going to have a heart attack if you continue like this” Seokmin said laughing.

Chan was the newest employee, handpicked by Seokmin a few months before. Seokmin needed someone to help him organize the broadcasts after his previous assistant quit because she had gotten a job in the field she had studied. Seokmin even talked to her and offered a higher salary that would come out of his own pocket, but nothing seemed to help. Not that he blamed her, in her place he would have done the same thing. But in the position he was in, changes made him uncomfortable so he did what he could to make sure everything stayed the same.

Maybe it was trauma.

“It’s because they yell at me, not you.”

One of the reasons Seokmin chose Chan as his new assistant was his sincerity. In the middle of the interview he “I think there are things in your program that need to change” and started listing things that he thought were dated or ideas that had been used too much and therefore didn't have the same effect on listeners. The others had found him presumptuous as if he wanted to know more than those who worked at the radio. Seokmin disagreed and that's how Chan got the job.

“They yell at you because you’re the new guy, no one yelled at Jiah”

Chan made a sound in the back of his throat, like a scoff.

“That's because everyone was afraid of her” Seokmin rolled his eyes and reached for the folder Chan was carrying “Oh, right. Tomorrow is your lecture for the communication classes, but they said it is possible that students from other courses will also be there, because it’llll be in the auditorium”

Seokmin nodded, reading the guidelines Chan had made. He needed to admit that he was organized and had absolute control over everything he did. He was sure that if he asked about Wonwoo's program, Chan would know how to answer as if he worked directly with him.

“You know how it is, I have fans” Chan pretended to vomit “If you go tomorrow, we’ll go out to dinner later, I’ll pay”

"Deal"

Seokmin always found it strange to be called to give lectures at the college where he studied. He wasn't a teacher and he didn't think he had done enough to be someone who could give advice to someone. In fact, Seokmin was sure he hadn't done anything big. His life, to put it very simply, was flat. At least, almost all of his life.

Seokmin has always been the type of guy who makes plans and follows through on those plans. When he was sixteen he got it into his head that he wanted to work in radio. It wasn't without reasons, of course. He joined the school radio and despite doing very little, because the school director had to know everything that would be done, even the nouns he would use in the sentence, he fell in love with the idea. That's why he decided he should study journalism in college, that way even if his radio career didn't work out, he would still have a profession.

But his dream was to work on a radio, to have his own program. So that's what he did.

He entered college as planned, sunk into student debt, and graduated exactly as he had planned. In his last semester, he got an internship at the biggest radio station in the country. He was on cloud nine. It was as if he had received the green light in life and everything was on the right track.

At least that's what he thought. At least that was what he had forced himself to believe. The internship became a permanent position and one day he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. That's why he never felt prepared to give anyone advice. Despite having decided on the career he wanted to pursue, he knew that he also needed to count on a little luck and help. The only words he could offer were “you work hard, study, make contacts, and throw the rest into luck’s hands”. It wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to hear when he was a student looking forward to the future, so he certainly wouldn't say it to anyone.

However, Chan convinced him that it would be a good idea to give the talk.

“You’re going to tell me how you got here, that’s all. An unknown face who quickly went on air to cover someone for one of the most beloved radio broadcasters in the country. I'm sure if you say that shit fell on your head, they'll like it” Chan had said laughing.

Overall the lecture went very well. Better than expected. He answered the questions as honestly as possible and used his best smile to get rid of the more awkward questions.

Despite the good day, he knew he didn't want to repeat the dose anytime soon.

“They want to know if you would be willing to do one of these a semester” Chan whispered because he knew the answer Seokmin would give, so it was better for the students not to hear.

“No” was all Seokmin said “But I’ll still buy you dinner”

Chan punched the air in celebration, catching the eyes of those around him, but he seemed to care very little.

"I just…"

What Seokmin was about to say, an announcement that he needed to go to the bathroom, died in his throat as he looked straight ahead.

Letter #2

Seokmin,

I thought I would be able to adapt faster here. It was very hard in the beginning with transport, getting around in general was very difficult. So I chose a weekend and went walking around the neighborhood where I live. I don't know how long I'll stay here, but I thought I should check it out. Besides, I can wake up in the middle of the night and decide that I want to eat something that I don't have at home, so it's good to know if there are any stores or markets that open in the middle of the night (in this neighborhood there aren't any, maybe that's why I won’t stay here).

I discovered that going out there, although productive, wasn't such a good idea. Nothing wrong happened, I didn't get hit on or someone was rude to me. Quite the contrary, most people pretended they weren't even seeing me. The problem was that everything made me think about you.

I walked by the store that sold a lot of random old things and decided to go in. You know I love filling the house with trinkets. I didn't find anything there that I liked, but I saw that they were selling camera films. For a moment I forgot everything that had happened and all I could think was, I think Seokmin is running out of film, I need to buy more because he will only realize when he doesn't have any left.

I bought it and brought it to the apartment. I opened the door and called your name. It was only later, when I noticed where I was, that it wasn't our apartment, that I realized what I had done.

Even without meaning to, even when I try not to, I find myself looking for you. Everywhere. I go to a restaurant and think about what you would like to eat, I see a dog on the street and I imagine you bending down to pet it. It's not on purpose, I just can't help it. I try, but it's in vain.

I wonder if it will pass. Will this feeling that I succeeded in my career but ruined my personal life disappear or will I feel like this forever — or at least for a good few years?

yn.

It was as if all the air had been ripped from your lungs and there was no way in the world to get you to breathe.

Somehow, some way, Seokmin was standing in front of you, in the middle of the college hallway.

For a moment it was as if you had been transported back in time, to when you were still 22 years old. In another moment you would have simply run up to him and thrown yourself into his arms as if you hadn't spent the whole night clinging to him, as if you hadn't seen each other before classes, as if you hadn't shared the smallest space in the world on the subway for 20 minutes. And your body seemed to remember all of this, like some kind of muscle memory, because you felt like you were being projected forward. Towards him.

You thought Seokmin would talk to you, you were sure he would. But you saw the way his gaze changed, the way it went from complete surprise to a hard look, completely different from anything you had ever seen from him.

In your memory, Seokmin was always brilliant and was always willing to welcome everyone with open arms, even when he felt more shy. You didn’t understand, that look he gave you was completely different from what you imagined could happen.

When you made the decision to return, you knew that there was a possibility of meeting Seokmin, no matter how small it was. You didn't know if he was still friends with the same people, if he still kept in touch with them. You certainly hadn't kept in touch with anyone - except for the two times you talked to Joshua. The possibility existed, but being realistic you knew it was as big as winning the lottery.

Of all the places you thought you could find Seokmin, college was the last one and maybe that was even why you accepted the job. When you were taking the last tests, the ones that would say whether you would graduate at the end of the semester or not, Seokmin was categorical in saying that he would never set foot inside college again. So you thought it was a place he would never go, but there he was. And in your first week, when you needed everything to go well. Not to show that you were ready and that you could do the job, but to reassure yourself that you had made the right choice in accepting the job.

You didn't have time to decide whether to talk to him or not. Seokmin made the decision for both of you. He continued walking as if you weren't there, talking to the boy next to him, laughing. The only indication that he knew who you were was silent once and one that only you could distinguish.

He turned around and left as if nothing had happened.

Was it possible that only you had felt that way? That just your heart had decided it didn't know how to beat, as if a storm was raging inside your body?

You didn't have time to analyze what had just happened. You just forced yourself to take a deep breath and also keep walking as if those brief seconds weren't enough to make your entire world turn completely upside down.

Seokmin dragged his feet into the room, tripping over the rug at the foot of the bed. A curse came out of his mouth, followed by a burp. When he invited Chan to dinner he had no intention of ending the night drunk, being carried home like someone who had just had his first drink.

It had been years since he had gotten that bad and it was comical that the previous occasion was also connected to you.

The memory of leaving you at the airport, on a flight in the middle of the night, was still vivid in Seokmin's mind. Worse than that memory, was the one of you telling him that you had gotten a place in a master's degree on the other side of the world, 18 hours before leaving the country.

“I need to tell you something” you said as he pulled his coat over his head and patted his pockets, making sure he had grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone. He needed to leave as quickly as possible, he was already late.

Seokmin had plans to ask you to marry him. He had rented a house where you could spend the weekend, where it would be possible to see the stars. He had prepared himself, but he needed to leave right that second so he would have enough time to go to the house, get everything ready and come back to get you. The owner of the house would help him, since Seokmin decided that he wouldn't tell any of his friends because they might just ruin the surprise.

“I'm already late” he said, quickly looking at his watch. "Did something happen?"

He asked, noticing your already somewhat desperate look. He knew that whatever had happened couldn't be good.

To be honest, he had noticed that something was wrong a few weeks before, and for a while, he decided it would be better not to get into it too much. He knew you well enough to know that you would offer the information when you felt ready to do so. But thinking back on everything, he wished he had asked before, he wished he hadn't given you space, he wished he had forced you to talk to him sooner.

“I passed my master’s degree abroad”

Seokmin’s first reaction was to be happy for you. He knew how much you wanted that, that it was your dream. So he did what any boyfriend would do, he hugged you and congratulated you, told you that you had tried so hard and that they would be idiots not to accept you. The feeling was true and his smile was genuine. He was happy for you.

Knowing what he knew, every now and then Seokmin wondered if he would have done anything differently if he knew what the next words would be out of your mouth. He could have made a fuss, he could have begged you to stay, he could have offered to go with you. But at the time he didn't do any of that.

“I’m leaving today, I need to be at the airport at 11 pm”

Seokmin's ears rang deafeningly. It was as if he had been punched and needed to brace himself against something. The sofa was the closest piece of furniture.

He thought he heard it wrong, he wished he was dreaming, but all he had to do was look at you. It was true. It was as if a puzzle was being completed in Seokmin's mind. The way you had suddenly become distant, how every time he entered the room you hurried to change or close whatever you were looking at on the computer. He didn't even know you signed up. He imagined that you must have done some kind of test, some interview and he didn't even know anything about it.

He had no idea.

Had he been a bad boyfriend, someone who was so focused on making the long-awaited proposal that he had ignored everything else? Or had you hidden it so well that he hadn't noticed?

"What? You’re leaving today?"

It was like the world was spinning too fast and he was trying to keep up with what was happening. It was like being on a roller coaster that kept on falling. He remembered well how the little box with the ring he had carefully chosen weighed in his pocket.

“I didn’t even know you had applied for a position” he whispered, almost just to himself “You didn’t tell me”

And it was at that exact moment, when he looked at you, that Seokmin realized that your relationship was over. You avoided looking at him, your hands were buried deep in the pockets of your coat, which was his. He saw your eyes fill with tears, you swallow hard, and remain silent.

It was unlike you, to stay quiet when you had too many things going through your head. He desperately wanted you to talk to him, to tell him what had been going through your head. He just wanted to understand. Did you believe he would somehow stop you from going? If there was one thing he knew about you, it was the fact that you always put your education first. It wasn't a secret and you didn't want it to be. He just didn't expect things to happen that way.

Seokmin sat in front of the closet, on the floor, and with difficulty opened the doors. Deep in the back, behind several shoe boxes, were two old boxes that he hadn't moved in years. Part of him wished the things inside the boxes were ruined, that they had mold and anything else that could ruin its content. But he had been careful, kept everything in order, taken all necessary precautions, and cleaned the closet periodically.

He ignored the first box and pulled the smaller one towards him, placing it on his bent legs. Seokmin wasn't one to revisit those memories, he liked to keep them as far away from him as possible, but on nights like those, it was impossible.

Seokmin knew what he would find and was sure how he would feel, but he still took the lid off the box, but he didn't dare take out any of the items inside it.

He knew he had reached his lowest point when he was holding on to memories he had of you and not focusing on what was actually happening in his life.

Letter #3

Seokmin,

I talked to Joshua today. Talk is a bit too strong of a word. We exchanged a few words on Instagram. He posted a photo and I liked it, he sent me a DM asking if I was ok and how things were going. I lied, of course. He said everything was fine and he was happy. He didn't talk about you and I didn't ask.

It was very hard to contain myself. I want to know how you are. The more selfish part of my brain wants you to be just as bad as I feel. You know that little demon that sits on our shoulder? He assures me you're even worse. And I hate to think that's the case, but at the same time, I'm sure you're not okay. I know you, we dated for four years, we lived together for almost two years

You were always the more emotional one of the two of us. You were never afraid to show your feelings, not for me or anyone else. You always loved so openly, without any fear. I admit that at first, it scared me a little.

I was an 18-year-old girl who came from a family that had no idea how to show affection, so I was always more reserved in that aspect. And there you were with your beautiful, bright smile, with open arms, affectionate with anyone who came along. I thought you were a crazy person who didn't have the slightest notion of the world. It took a while for me to realize that your world was brighter than mine in ways I couldn't understand.

You were always so untethered, free, showing yourself to anyone who had eyes. When I was closed and more reclusive, you were open and expansive. When I was very shy or reserved, you were more charming and brighter than usual. Not even my worst mood, which seemed endless at times, was a problem for you.

One day you just showed up and decided that you would stay by my side, no matter what. Believe me when I say, I tried to push you away. But with each passing day you were further under my skin.

A kiss at a random party turned into a date at every party, parties became meetings at the college library, which led to coffee dates. One day you decided at the end of each date you had to take me back to the dorms and you kissed me for a long time on the side of the building where no one could see — or at least I made myself believe no one did. Then that alone wasn't enough and you were always with your fingers intertwined with mine, or your arm around my waist. And kisses were no longer reserved for empty streets, of course not. You kissed me anywhere, anytime, no matter who was watching.

You were sneaky, Seokmin.

When I realized it, I was in love with you. Your arms were my refuge. You were my safe space. My home.

yn.

You hated that Seokmin’s reaction, or lack thereof, had gotten to you so much. It was like being punched, and then one more, soon the punch became a beating and to finish with a flourish, it was as if a truck had run over you.

You had plans to go out at the weekend, though alone. Everything was so different, the places you knew no longer existed and friends from the past no longer spoke to you. You would have to rediscover the city without anyone's help. Despite your plans, you couldn't bring yourself to leave the house.

When you decided to return, you knew there would be no way to escape Seokmin. He had become successful not only in his career as a broadcaster but also as a celebrity of sorts. You never imagined you would see his face in magazines or on billboards selling fried chicken. You didn't expect that when you turned on the TV you would see his face in different programs.

In fact, you knew all of that was happening, but somehow you managed to convince yourself that you wouldn't have to see any of it. You managed to make yourself believe that you would not be haunted by his images and voice.

When you were away, you always listened to his programs, more than once each one, but it was almost like a relationship between fan and celebrity. You could separate very well what was him and what was you. But being there, in the same country, in the same city, it was much more difficult to make that separation.

Because once you were back, Seokmin was no longer just the radio host with a show about relationships. Far from it. Seokmin was your college sweetheart, the guy whose heart you broke but who, even after seven years, was still in love with.

That was the reality. you were still in love with him. There was no relationship in the world, no man in the world, that would have made you forget about Seokmin. Sometimes it worked, sometimes you managed to forget about him for a few months and that feeling of loss, of emptiness, that had settled deep inside your heart became smaller and smaller. And then it would come back full on as if it had never left.

Maybe that was your curse, your punishment for leaving behind someone you could have spent the rest of your life with. And somehow you knew you would have been happy. Or at least a different kind of happiness.

After spending the weekend holed up inside your apartment, after convincing yourself that you needed to prepare for teaching classes and unpacking the move, she decided that on Tuesday night she would explore the city.

Exploring wasn't the right word. You had discovered that one of your favorite restaurants still existed, it had just changed location. And, despite being on the other side of the city and being completely aware that you would have to pay a fortune for a taxi or risk taking the subway alone almost at closing time, you decided to go anyway.

You needed to feel like one thing hadn't changed, or at least still be recognizable.

You heard your name being called a few minutes after sitting down. You raised your head, recognizing the voice, but couldn't tell who it belonged to. Directly in front of you was a woman, with short hair, in her fifties.

“It’s really you!”

You stood up and a second later you were being hugged. Maybe you had gone there for that reason, knowing that there would be someone there who would recognize you. Or at least you hoped there was. And when you were welcomed with open arms by her owner, Niah, you wanted to cry for the first time in a long time.

“Hi” was all you could offer, your voice weak.

You quickly turned your face away, trying to be discreet as you wiped away your tears. The last thing you wanted was to cry in front of someone else. Tears were reserved for dark moments in the silence of your apartment, they weren't meant to be seen by people you didn't even know in a crowded restaurant.

“Look how beautiful you look. You haven't been around for so long. Seokmin told us that you had gone abroad to study, but I thought you would come back sooner.”

You just managed to smile, even though it was embarrassing. It was strange to hear his name coming out of someone else's mouth so easily. For years, his name was just an echo in your own mind, almost as if it were a fantasy of yours.

There were days when you managed to convince yourself of this, that Seokmin was nothing more than a dream.

“Are you just visiting or are you back to stay?”

“I'm staying” you said after a second, when you managed to find your voice again “I got a job here, I have nowhere to run”

Niah laughed and hugged you once again, tighter this time.

"Great, that makes me happy. We always miss you” Niah smiled and ran her fingers down your cheeks, brushing away some tears that were stubborn to fall “What do you want to eat? Today it's on the house. Consider it a welcome gift.”

You took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in your throat and the remaining tears.

"What do you recommend?"

The amazing thing about meeting Niah again was that she still acted exactly the same way. She didn't see you as someone who had simply packed a suitcase of clothes and left the country overnight. To Niah you were still that same person from 7 years ago who ate whatever she put in front of. You and Seokmin were always guinea pigs for all the new recipes.

The food was still wonderful, if anything it had just gotten better.

You had a fork halfway to your mouth when you heard the door open, the sound of the bell indicating the entry of a new customer. You almost instinctively turned to look. You choked on your own saliva when your eyes met Seokmin's.

It was as if you were back in the hallway that day. Your heart simply stopped, and the world fell into suspension. For a moment, it was as if you had been transported to the past. You were almost certain that if you looked at the table you would see books open next to the cutlery; you knew that if you looked at Seokmin for another second or two his face would break into the most beautiful smile, he would wave and call your name.

But your illusion shattered into small pieces as his neutral expression contorted into a frown. With the same foot he entered he turned to leave.

“Seokmin!” you called him, getting up from your chair.

Part of you thought he was going to continue out the door, but he stopped. Half of his body was outside the restaurant, the other inside.

“Hurry up and close that door!” Niah said leaving the kitchen “You’re letting out all the heat”

Even with Niah's voice calling him, Seokmin remained standing at the door. You sat back down, but without taking your eyes off him. He didn't know what he expected of him, but he felt an indescribable relief when Niah pulled him by the sleeve of his coat and forced him to sit in front of you.

“The restaurant is packed, so you will have to share a table” she said as she turned her back.

Seokmin shook his head, clearly against sitting there, staying in the restaurant, but he still took off his coat and hung it on the chair before leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

It was clear he was working out, his shoulders had gotten broader and his arms bigger since you last saw each other. You almost laughed at the pose, remembering all the times you had seen him in a similar situation. But this wasn't the time to laugh when everything else was screaming that he was uncomfortable with the situation, that he didn't want to be there.

It didn't take a genius to know that Seokmin wanted nothing to do with you. His reaction to seeing you in the hallway the week before and the way he was looking at you in that moment were enough answers.

You felt like the walls were closing in around you and there wasn't enough air in the room.

What were you thinking when you called his name? What were you thinking when you silently watched Niah pull him inside? Why were you still sitting there?

A waiter who worked with Niah passed by your table and you called him discreetly, not wanting to attract the attention of the restaurant owner.

“Can you wrap everything to go, please?” you turned to Seokmin “You can have the table. I was already leaving”

It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.

Seokmin laughed lowly, scornfully, his sideways smile making the hair on your arms stand on end. In general, Seokmin has always been the type of guy who didn’t lose his cool easily, who would always rather let things go than have any kind of confrontation. But when he really got stressed out or nervous, it took a while for him to calm down again.

You had seen that storm in his eyes very few times in the years you spent together. The last one was when he went to the airport to say goodbye to you. That day the storm was just confusion and pain, you knew you had done that to him. But he sat there in the restaurant, in front of you, in silence while the people around him chatted animatedly, completely oblivious to what was happening between the two of you.

"What it was?" you rolled your eyes.

“Ah, nothing” he said, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture “It’s just like you to do that”

You narrowed your eyes at the same time you felt your cheeks get hot.

"Do what?"

"Runaway"

Letter #4

Seokmin, 

It took me almost a year to convince myself that it was okay for me to look at social media. I convinced myself that every woman does this, that every now and then we look at our ex-boyfriend's Instagram, just to find out if his new girlfriend is ugly. I've told you this several times, but every female experience is universal.

I wish you were one of those low profile people, who post a picture every 6 months and it's a cut mango on a pretty plate. I wish you hadn't posted so many pictures. But more than anything, I wish I hadn't spent hours and hours looking at the photos. I wish I hadn't been analyzing every photo of you, I wish I hadn't thought “that's a new mole” and wondered which others had appeared since the last time we saw each other.

I had memorized every mole of yours. On your face, on your arms, on your back. On the worst days, when I missed you in a way that almost made me give up everything and go home, I kept remembering each one of them. I tried to remember the sound of your laugh, your voice, how you stroked my hair until I fell asleep when it wasn't a good day.

I keep wondering if one day this feeling will just go away.

It's been a year since I left. I went out with other guys, and I almost dated one of them, but you're always there in the back of my mind, almost comically because even against my will I can't help but compare them to you. I can't help but think that only you know how I like my coffee, how only you know that if I'm in my worst mood, there's no joke in the world that can make me laugh.

I know it's not fair to them. I gave you the chance to get to know me, I allowed you to get closer. I wanted you to come closer to me. Now I wonder if you're doing this for someone other than me.

I like to imagine that you also compare other women to me, that even now that you're dating I stay there, in the back of your mind, making fun of you.

Unfortunately, she's not ugly, but your smile was brighter when I was next to you.

yn.

To say that Seokmin had spent the rest of the week in an envious mood was an understatement. He was stressed and everyone around him soon noticed the change. He really tried not to let his personal life get in the way of his work. It was something he never struggled with. Work was work, what happened when the lights went out and he left the radio should never cross paths with each other. That week, however, it was impossible.

Meeting you at the restaurant caught him off guard. That day in the college hallway had been difficult, but he managed to just keep walking as if nothing had happened. He liked to pretend like he hadn't gone out with Chan right after and drank like there was no tomorrow, like he hadn't opened the boxes he had kept for years and cried while looking at the photos of the two of you together.

He had gone to the restaurant that day because he needed some form of comfort and didn't want to call any of his friends because he knew he would end up telling them everything that happened and would receive advice and words he would rather not hear. The restaurant was the best idea he had. Or maybe the worst possible one.

Maybe he had done it consciously, because he wanted to see you one more time, and wanted to make sure he hadn't imagined you. It wouldn't have been the first time.

In the first few months after you left, Seokmin got into the habit of visiting places he went with you, or places you liked to go alone. It was probably a form of torture, but he liked to imagine it was a way to forget and overcome the breakup. On several of those days, he believed he saw you. He realistically knew it wasn't you, he clearly remembered seeing you get on the plane and waited until it took off to leave the airport.

The worst thing that could have happened to him was you calling for him. Seokmin couldn't help but wonder if he had always reacted that way to you, if your presence was always so great that before he even saw you he knew you were nearby. That day, as soon as he opened the door, before he even saw you sitting there with your eyes wide open, he knew. He knew you were there.

The last thing he expected from you was you saying his name, as if asking him to sit with you, that Niah, knowing how the relationship had ended, would have made him sit in front of you.

Seokmin noticed your discomfort, the way your spine had become a little straighter, the way your eyes were hard and cautious at the same time. Your reaction made him angry. What right did you have to behave that way, as if you were hurt when all the decisions regarding a relationship both of you were in had been made by you?

You were the one who signed up for a master's degree abroad. It was you who never told him about your decision. It was you who kept everything secret, making him believe that the two of you were on the same page and that despite your different goals, you would be able to pursue them together.

Turns out he was wrong, those dreams were just his and didn't include him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Chan asked for the thousandth time.

For the first time in a long time, Seokmin was having a hard time hiding how he really felt. That polished, carefully carved mask had fallen. It was a completely atypical day and everyone was able to notice his sudden change in mood. Even Chan, who normally did a great job of ignoring all the problems around him and focusing solely on his work, seemed to be walking on eggshells around him.

“It’s really obvious, isn’t it?” Seokmin asked in a low voice and Chan just nodded "And if I pretend it's because of the new segment, will anyone believe it?"

Again, Chan nodded. Since he had started the program, 3 years before, Seokmin would receive calls and speak directly to listeners. Although there were always interactions, those were always done through live chat and email when he received questions or stories from people who were not listening to the program when it was airing.

Seokmin wasn't nervous about the idea, he was actually excited. Chan knew this and knew that whatever the problem was, it was still the same as the day of the lecture. He didn't want to ask, and he didn't want to seem invasive, but he still wanted to make sure Seokmin was okay — or at least, well enough to do the program.

“I think everyone is already thinking that” was a lie and even Seokmin knew it, but he was grateful.

“You may already know this, but today we will start a new segment. We'll call it the heart to heart helpline, at least until we find a better name at least” Seokmin's voice and laugh resonated through the taxi “We'll take your calls and some of you will be able to talk to me and ask your questions live, instead of by chat. Each person will have a maximum of 2 minutes and we will answer 6 calls today”

You had left the house completely willing to avoid anything related to Seokmin. Realistically, you knew you couldn't do anything about the billboards and his face at bus stops, but you could very well avoid his radio show. And for a few weeks you had managed to do just that.

That day at the restaurant had almost been a cathartic moment. Somehow, it was as if something had clicked and fallen into place. The Seokmin you left behind no longer existed. It had been a naive thought to think so. You didn't expect that he would still be exactly the same person, of course not. Seven years had passed and Seokmin, like you, was approaching his thirties. Obviously, many things had changed, but you still expected to see traces of that 22-year-old boy you had known and loved.

You didn't spend more than five minutes with him at that table. And it was much more than enough. He had accused you of running away, of continuing to do this for years. Of course, that could be his view on everything, but it was never your intention. The only problem was that you hadn't been able to tell him those things. You had been so lost and so completely helpless in front of him that you had forgotten that you knew how to speak and form sentences.

You had spent years of your life writing letters to him, letters that he would never read, but that was beside the point. You wrote letters as a way to appease the emptiness you felt in your heart. You never, not for a second, thought you were running away. You never wanted to run away, but Seokmin seemed to believe you did.

In a sudden burst of anger, you took your phone out of your bag and dialed the number Seokmin spoke on the radio. You didn't expect your call to go through. In fact, you didn't even know what you expected.

“Please wait a minute, we will connect your call” a non-robotic voice said as you paid for the taxi.

Seokmin was still chatting animatedly with a listener who didn't have a real question, but who “just wanted to say that I really liked your show and that I’m a fan.” It was impossible not to roll your eyes. If she, and everyone else, knew how much of a complete asshole he could be just because he had the opportunity, they would never want to see his face again.

Or maybe they would team up against you in favor of the immaculate Seokmin. God knew how easily a man could turn public opinion in his favor with a beautiful smile. And God was also a witness that Seokmin's smile was simply wonderful, one that took your breath away, one that made you smile along because it was contagious.

“Welcome to the heart to heart helpline” Seokmin’s voice sounded in your ear “What’s your question?”

You didn't really think that your call would get through to Seokmin, you didn't think the signal would be good enough inside the elevator, but none of that seemed to be a problem.

“Hello, can you hear me?” he asked.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You knew you were going really crazy, but you decided to throw caution out the window and be the crazy person everyone used to believe you were.

“Yes, I’m here” you could have sworn, that even over the phone, you felt Seokmin tense up “It’s a question about an old relationship, we broke up years ago, if that’s okay”

You struggled with your keys, trying to unlock the door as quickly as possible. You needed to get to your computer or tablet, whichever was closer. It was almost a physical necessity to see Seokmin's reaction to your voice, your question.

You always knew how to tell if he was truly calm or if he was masking what he was feeling. You wanted to know if you still had any other sort of effect on him. Whatever it was, it was better than angry disdain.

“Old relationships should stay in the past, don’t you think?” he finally said.

You nodded as you ran into your room. You knew you would find the tablet under your pillow — you were sure that if your mother saw it she would say that your brain would explode due to the radiation from the device. With a few taps, you opened the stream of Seokmin's program.

“I think so. But the problem is that we keep seeing each other. I don’t think it’s something either of us want, but it seems inevitable.”

You turned the sound off, you just wanted to focus on his reactions. Seokmin swallowed hard, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes fixed on the microphone in front of him. To anyone, it just seemed like he was concentrating on the call, on what the person on the other end of the line had to say, but you knew very well that it was to hide his reactions.

"Your question?"

“Well, he called me selfish and said I ran away when we broke up, but that's not exactly what happened. I wanted to talk to him, but I don’t think he wants to listen to me.”

Seokmin took a deep breath and seemed to think about what to say next, his eyes no longer on the microphone, but on the ceiling.

“And why does he think that about you? You probably gave him reasons, don't you think? I don’t think anyone would think that about someone without anything having happened.”

“I always dreamed of studying abroad, so when the opportunity came, I went. I…"

“Did you tell him you were going?” Seokmin clenched his fists on the desk, his fingers gripped the pen in his hand tightly until his knuckles were white. “Did you give him a chance to say something or did you just walk away?”

You were speechless, eyes focused only on Seokmin. The way his hair perfectly framed his face, his sculpted thin nose. He was still exactly like he was seven years ago, just somehow different. He was the same, but he also wasn't.

You hadn't given him the chance to say anything, you had just walked away, but because you believed it was the best thing to do. You would have stayed if he had asked, I would have aborted all of your plans for him,

“Long distance relationships don’t work” you said finally, your voice lower “especially when there’s an ocean separating people”

“I'm going to guess and say that you were together for a while because I don't think anyone would care that much about a quick relationship” his voice became more sober, completely in control of his emotions, the opposite of what you felt,  like you were enclosed every second that passed “I agree with you, long-distance relationships don’t work. Different cities are already complicated, I can't imagine what it would be like to be with someone who lives in another country. You didn't give many details, but I believe he had reasons to feel that way, just as you had your reasons for leaving without warning. I think the best thing for both of you is to let it fall into oblivion. It makes no sense for either of you to dwell on these feelings. Maybe your desire to talk exists because you think you've left things open with him, but he may think that what's in the past shouldn't be remembered. Maybe you're just a bad relationship he wants to forget.”

Letter #5

Seokmin

I found out by chance that you now have your own radio show. One day it was an empty slot in the schedule and the next it was your voice. To my joy and delight, it was one of those programs that also had video streaming. I say joy and delight in a very ironic way.

But I'm not lying when I say I'm happy for you. You always said it was your dream and in a way, here we are, achieving our dreams. It would have been better if we could have lived through this together, I think. Maybe if that were the case I wouldn't have this empty feeling inside my chest.

But I discovered a long time ago that I can't keep crying over spilled milk. I left and you moved on with your life. They were conscious choices, I knew what I was doing. I knew that making this choice would have hurt both of us, but I also knew that we could overcome it. It's just taking longer than expected. I honestly thought that by this point, so many years later, we would have been able to live as if the past were just that, the past.

But it's not like that for me or for you.

I may be completely crazy, but your show is about love advice and how to deal with heartbreak. Sometimes, when I hear you talk, I'm sure you've already dealt with all your feelings, after all, you've had other girlfriends. But there are other moments, when you answer a question or when you read one of the pre-written texts when I'm sure that what you said applies directly to what we both had.

I'm going crazy, aren't I?

It's been four years since I left. I already finished my master's degree and started my PhD, exactly as planned. I have a date tonight with a guy who seems genuinely nice, but here I am, writing yet another letter that will never be sent to the guy I was in love with.

What am I still doing?

yn

Seokmin had always believed that for a relationship to truly end there must be no trace of it anywhere. When he told his listeners that they should get rid of items, it was not a lie. He was just terrible at following his own advice. The old story of do as I say, not as I do.

Finally, he decided it was time to take his own advice. With a little pain and resentment added to the mix, of course. At this point, he wondered if he could already be considered a masochist or if he still had a few boxes to tick to get the title.

Getting your address had been easier than expected. All he had to do was ask Niah, who offered the information without any resistance.

“Being thirty didn't make either of you any smarter,” she said as she leaned across the table and wrote the address on the napkin.

“Almost thirty” he felt the need to correct her, but decided he would ignore the hidden message in her words.

Seokmin never stopped going to Niah's restaurant. It was there that he had cried his sorrows over the cheapest drinks possible, he didn't have the money to pay for the good ones, while Joshua tried to console him. He had never seen Niah so stressed and angry. She hadn't said anything, but you could clearly hear the sound of her cutting the vegetables more aggressively than necessary.

Little by little she became calmer about the situation and started talking about you with the same affection as before. Seokmin always thought she had somehow kept in touch with you, or at least found a way to get your number or a way to contact you. At first, he had been angry, but somehow he believed he didn't have that right. It was only after a year that Seokmin decided to ask and the answer he received was “if I still had contact with her, I would have already screamed at her about disappearing without telling anyone”.

Asking Niah for your address was the only option he had. He refused to go to college, where you worked. He didn't know what would happen, whether you would be friendly with each other or the conversation would end in a shouting match just because. Because after years of no contact and considering the way things ended, it was pretty obvious that resentment could resurface — at least Seokmin had resentment up to his neck and knew that not releasing them all at once required almost inhuman self-control. 

He looked at the building one more time before getting out of the car. It was one of those without a doorman. Seokmin knew that if he rang and asked to be let in, the probability of being sent to hell was very high. So he pulled up his cap down and covered as much of his face as he could while he balanced the boxes on his arms.

He stood there like a madman for almost twenty minutes until someone finally left the building. Seokmin felt like he was committing a crime when he slipped through the door before it closed. Even though the feeling was strange he made himself believe it was the only option he had and he really didn't have any bad intentions. He just wanted to return your things and, hopefully, arrange that if you ever met again, you’d simply pretend you don't know each other, instead of talking nonsense to each other.

Seokmin took a deep breath once before knocking on the door. He heard footsteps and a second later the door opened.

When you imagined what your Wednesday night would be like, the only option that crossed your mind was to order a pizza and watch a movie — the random option of Netflix seemed like your best friend and the only possible option because you weren't even able to choose what to watch by yourself.

Not even in your wildest daydreams could you have imagined that Seokmin would show up at your door with two boxes in his hand.

You were partially tempted to close the door on his face, but you knew that doing so would only make the whole situation worse. If Seokmin, who clearly didn't have any good feelings about you, was standing there at your door it was because he had something to say. Or more precisely to hand it over to you, considering the boxes in his arms.

Silently you stepped aside so he had enough room to enter. You wanted to slap yourself for the complete war zone that your living room was in. You were still unpacking the moving boxes, not that you had taken much with you. It was too expensive to send things from one country to another, especially furniture. You had only focused on your clothes and books and a few things you wanted to keep, and that alone was more than you were willing to spend. In addition to the boxes, you had all the things you still had to buy, but you still didn't have the mind to do it.

You had so much going through your head that cleaning the apartment was just another task you wanted to avoid. But it was one that could be left for later. In the few minutes that Seokmin spent there, you wished you had tidied it up, that he hadn't seen how that room represented your life at that moment: a complete mess.

"What are you doing here?" you finally asked when you managed to get your vocal cords to work properly.

Seokmin didn't seem to care about the mess but paid attention to everything else around him.

He placed the boxes on the counter and took off his cap, pressing the brims with his fingertips looking for what to say next. He had rehearsed an almost poetic speech in the car, something about being adults and how your relationship had ended a long time ago, so neither of you should have any regrets left. But the moment you opened the door and looked at him it was as if all the words had simply evaporated from his mind, as if he had never learned to speak in the first place.

It had always been that way with you. Sometimes when he looked at you, even when you were still together, he got lost. He was like a man adrift who had finally found solid land. It was as if he heard a click and the world started to move once again.

One of his favorite things, when you were dating and living together, was being able to come home after an exhausting day and see you sitting on the sofa in the living room, your computer on your lap, while you studied, occasionally shouting profanities at the computer. On those days, Seokmin would simply push the computer away and lay his head on your lap.

“Just five minutes” he used to say with his eyes closed.

You’d laugh, fingers immediately running through his hair, as if it was the most natural movement in the world.

“Who do you want me to insult today? You know my vocabulary is very colorful.”

How many times had he slept in that position, without meaning to, and you had to drag him to bed because “it's comfortable for you, but my legs are numb and you have to take a shower, you won't sleep dirty next to me, sir”.

It was impossible not to wonder where it all went wrong.

“I came to return your things” he pointed at the boxes.

You suppressed the urge to bend down and rummage through the boxes. You wanted to know what he had kept, what he considered important enough to keep for so many years. You knew he no longer lived in the apartment you shared. When you were looking for apartments you saw that that one was up for rent. It was necessary to restrain yourself from choosing it. It wasn't a good apartment, at least not at the time — the photos on the website said the property had undergone renovations two years earlier and had no tenants since. It wasn't big, it barely fit one person, but it was what your extremely limited budget could afford at the time. Somehow you and Seokmin turned that small space into a home full of life. Of love.

In the places where you lived, you bought all kinds of trinkets to fill the space, furniture you didn't need and never used, hoping to imitate, for even a second, the feeling you had in that little 35 square meter apartment.

You never quite managed to do that.

“Thank you” you said sincerely “I thought all my things had gone in the trash”

You laughed and Seokmin squeezed the back of his head and pointed at the boxes.

“I sold what I could, I didn't want to put it in storage because I really thought we would never see each other again. The money is in an envelope”

“Why did you keep all this?” the words came out of your mouth before you could stop yourself “You should have thrown it away or, since you sold it, you should have spent the money”

Seokmin had asked himself that question several times before, sober or not, and he never had an answer. After a while, he simply stopped questioning and accepted it as something he had to do, to have some kind of sanity. It didn’t. Knowing that those boxes were inside his wardrobe, having to go through them the two times he moved, only brought back memories that he would like to forget.

Ever since you had seen each other again for the first time, memories that Seokmin had struggled to bury came to the surface as if they had just happened. He started to dream about you, dreams that range from memories to things that never actually happened, he started to wonder if it would be okay to talk with someone. His brain always screamed NO, so he was stuck just dreaming.

“I don’t have a good enough reason. It is what it is, I guess,” he said.

The last time Seokmin felt so embarrassed around you was right when you met and even then it only lasted a few minutes. The 18 year old Seokmin was much braver than the 29 year old man in front of him.

That boy, without any guilt or remorse, would have asked every question that could cross his mind. You’d say “your mind is beautiful, it even echoes sometimes”. Seokmin wanted to still have some of that boy's strength. Maybe that was the only way to know what he wanted. He wouldn't ask and he knew you wouldn't offer the information to him without being pressured.

“I think in the end, we both got what we wanted.”

You realized you said the wrong thing when you looked at Seokmin’s hands. A second before he was clutching his cap until his knuckles turned white, the next his long fingers were still. You didn't want to see the expression on his face. You knew what you’d find. You messed up, but couldn’t take back what you said.

“You got what you wanted” Seokmin corrected you, his voice firm, his tone hard.

“You always wanted to have a radio show”

“No, I wanted you. I could adapt to everything else if it meant I would have you.”

You shook your head. You knew it wasn't true. Hell, even Seokmin knew it wasn’t true. The first time you talked, Seokmin mentioned how much he wanted to be a radio host and have his own show, of any kind. I don't have a preference, I know I can give anything my own colors. You felt envious of his certainty, of the way he knew he could do it.

“The show has always been your dream” you tried again, despite knowing it was in vain to argue with him.

“My dream was to have a life by your side. You never, not once, told me that you signed up to study abroad, you never even mentioned it. When it was time to go you just got on a plane and disappeared. You never even gave me the chance to follow you. I could have been a journalist anywhere in the world”

Seokmin hated the direction of that conversation, hated being so exposed in front of you after so many years. In the past, it wasn't a problem. Before he wanted to be exposed in front of you, he wanted to share everything he was, every aspect of himself with you. No more. The problem was that he couldn't just stop. A gate was opened and there was no way to close it.

“So, what? Would we both be living based on our dreams? Because this is a dream, and you know it very well.”

You clung to the top rail of the chair, your head lolling forward in an almost futile attempt to stop him from seeing the tears forming in your eyes. You knew you couldn't hold them.

You weren't the type of person who cried often, you did what you could to avoid it, but when the tears came it was impossible to simply stop them from falling.

“Yeah, maybe I was really dreaming, because I believed that you loved me in the same proportion, but it’s quite obvious that you didn’t”

Seven years of pent-up frustration couldn't just disappear, he should have known. He should have imagined that going there would be a problem, that being in the same space as you without any kind of interference was a mistake. But he was still there and there was no way to escape. It was better to end everything quickly than to keep those feelings for another seven years in the hopes of one day being able to say something.

Seokmin watched as you went to one of the boxes in the corner of the room and opened it forcefully, tearing the cardboard, and causing some of the contents to slide across the floor. He felt his body freeze as a roll of film stopped at his feet.

“So explain to me, why do I buy a roll of film every time I pass by a store?” you put both hands inside the box and took out several rolls of film, of different brands and models. “Explain to me, why have I followed your career all this time and never missed a damn show in the last 3 years? Why would I wake up in the middle of the night to watch the broadcast and then listen to the show again while going to work because I just wanted to hear your voice?”

You walked to another box, but you opened this one a little more carefully as if wanting to protect the contents.

“Why did I spend 7 years writing letters that would never be read to a guy I never loved?”

You threw several envelopes at Seokmin’s chest. Your face and body shook out of anger or another feeling he couldn't quite tell.

Seokmin bent down to pick up one of the envelopes from the floor. His name was written in your careful handwriting. He didn't need to look at all the other ones to know that they were also addressed to him. He didn't know how many letters were scattered on the floor, or if there were any left in the box. The only thing he was sure of was that he had no idea how to proceed.

“If that doesn’t say I loved you, if that doesn’t say I still love you, I don’t know what the fuck does.”

Seokmin saw the first tear run down your face and fell silent. He knew he should turn his back, he knew he should walk away, just like you did seven years before. Instead, he took four steps in your direction, his eyes never left your heaving chest and the tears that ran freely over your cheeks. 

At that moment he knew that he only had two options: he could turn around and leave, he gave you back your things that alone made his plan a success; or he could kiss you like he had been wanting to since the moment he saw you again.

To hell with his plan.

Seokmin held your face in his hands and pulled you to him, crashing his lips on yours. It was an all too new feeling but also familiar, almost like coming to a remodeled home. It was him and it was you, if only it was just that simple. 

You sighed into him, your arms wrapping around his slim waist while your hand balled a fist full of his shirt. There were so many moments where you wished you could be right in that spot, again in his arms. Dreams and daydreams, wishful thinking, whatever you could call it. Thoughts of Seokmin had always been a constant in your mind. It was impossible not to compare other people you went out with to him. 

Your longest relationship had been one of almost a full year. Although the beginning had been good and easy, with you somehow managing to avoid any and all Seokmin related dreams and thoughts, it turned sour the second he crossed your mind.

“Seokmin, I…”

He shook his head and pressed his forehead to yours, eyes so intense that it was difficult to keep looking at him. 

“Let’s not overthink it, okay?” was all he said. 

You held his face for a couple, searching for something in his features, anything at all, that could indicate that the moment wasn’t for that. But all you saw in him was the same emotions you felt, the same need and desire. 

You pulled Seokmin to you again, this time hungrier, your chest pressed to his. Your mind was loud telling you all the reasons why you shouldn’t be doing that, why having him so close to you was truly the most dangerous situation you could possibly put yourself in. But all of those voices, all of those words and thoughts were silenced the moment he kissed you again. 

His lips were hungry, demanding all of you. And it was so easy to just give in to him, to his hands roaming on your body, down your back until he reached your ass. He gave it a light squeeze and ran his hand back up again, this time under your shirt. You moaned softly at the contact of his skin on yours, as he kissed your neck, bitting on the exact same spot he found years before. 

He smiled over your skin. 

“At least this hasn’t changed”

It was all too much but not nearly enough. Just having him that close to you was dizzying enough but him touching you and enjoying the fact that you were just as weak for him at twenty nine made you never want to let go of him again.

“Where’s your room?”

You took Seokmin by the hand, guiding him through the narrow corridor. 

Your room was barely a room to begin with. You had no furniture except for the mattress lying on the floor, your clothes were either on the suitcase or on the chair on the side. 

“This is unlike you” Seokmin said, his chest pressed to your back while he nibbled on the skin of your neck. 

“I… hm… I” you sturred a little when he bit into a particularly sensitive spot, making him chuckle “I’m waiting on delivery”

Seokmin turned you around in his arms while lightly pushing you down on the mattress. His eyes never left yours as he ran his hand under your shirt, moving the fabric up until your chest was exposed. 

It had been so long since you had been with anyone, it was almost like a reflex to want to pull your shirt back down. Since him, it had been hard to just let yourself be exposed to someone like that. You had become awfully aware of your body and things you never cared for or paid attention to before suddenly became worries. You didn't like that insecure version of yourself but when Seokmin cupped your breast in his hand his touch was almost solemn. 

It was probably the worst timing in the world when you felt tears burn on the back of your eyes. You pulled his face to yours again, trying to hide your tears from him once again. 

Suddenly, his touch was tender when he pushed a few strands of hair away from your face, his fingers careful. 

Seokmin moved down on your body. When you saw his fingers on the waistband of shorts you lifted your hips off of the mattress to help him move the fabric down quicker. 

He kissed your hips and inner thigh. You moaned in anticipation, your hand taking a fist full of his soft hair. When his lips finally found your clit it was like fireworks erupted behind your closed eyelids.

Seokmin was impossibly hard in his pants, embarrassingly so like he was a teenager having his first time. 

He never thought that he would have you in his arms again and yet there you were in front of him, no reservations. Just for him. And for a moment it was like his brain was in short circuit, the small electric waves running all over his body, down to his toes. 

He licked a path from your cunt to your clit. He went down on you almost in desperation, his nose brushing on your clit every now and then. 

"Seokmin..." his name was barely a whisper in your lips, but it was also a chant. 

Your orgasm hits you quickly, leaving you short of air and with shaky legs. You were spiraling in the most enticing way possible. It didn't stop Seokmin though as he kept sucking you frantically. 

You tugged on his hair, pulling him up and to you again. 

I love you,  the words almost fell out of your lips. It would have been so easy to just say them, to be open about your feelings just this once. 

Deep down you knew that that moment would be a one time kind of thing. It was just the kind of moment people sometimes needed to just completely let go of everything. Or in this case, nothing. It was to let go of seven years of complete nothingness and silence.

You opened the button of his jeans and pushed it down, his boxers following along. You wrapped your hand around his cock, pumping him a couple of times. Realization suddenly came over you. You never expected Seokmin to show up to your place, much less that it would lead to that moment, and there wasn't anyone else in your life, so you weren't ready for it. 

"I don't have a condom" you said breathlessly.

Seokmin looked lost for a second, his brain going to his wallet, questioning whether or not he had one in him. 

"I can pull out," he said "if that's okay"

All you did was nod and Seokmin aligned himself with your hole. He pushed in slowly, savoring each moment when your pussy pulled him in until there was no space between the two of you. 

Seokmin kissed you again to give himself time to adjust to you squeezing him. You held his face close to yours, in your eyes a mix of emotions he didn't want to understand. Not in that moment at least.

"I don't want anyone else," you said looking into his eyes, your thumb running over his bottom lip "No one else can make me feel the way you do"

To hell with care and self-preservation. You let go of those the moment you opened the door for him, the moment you let him into your home, the moment you didn't push him away when he kissed you. 

Seokmin fucks you slowly, his pace torturous as you beg and beg for more. He intertwined his fingers with yours and held one of your hands above your head while the other one held your hips in place. 

"Seokmin... harder"

And it's like a switch has gone off inside his brain. His once slow pace becomes shallow. The sound of your breaths and his skin slapping against yours were the only ones heard, echoing through the empty room. 

Your orgasm sneaks up on you, catching you so off guard you scream because it's too much. 

You pushed Seokmin away and watched in ecstasy as he wrapped his hand around his cock, his hand working fast as your name left his lips when his release fell on the sheet by your side. 

Seokmin dropped his body over yours again, his forehead on your shoulder. You closed your eyes and ran your hand over his hair. 

"I love you" you allowed yourself to say, even if it meant nothing to him. 

Letter #6

Seokmin,

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm coming home. Or the closest thing I still have to a home. Needless to say, my mother is happy with the news. She's been tormenting me for years, asking me to come back, but since I set foot here I decided I wasn't going back.

I wanted to, but I wouldn't go back.

Every time I thought about going back, the first thing that came into my head was the last image I had of you. Your teary eyes wishing me a safe flight, saying I love you and hope you accomplish everything you want. I regretted it the moment I gave my things away and handed my passport into the hand of the airline girl. I should have come back, I should have given up, but I couldn't. That old story of putting myself first and second, you know how it goes. In this case, my entire top 10 was just different versions of me.

I think I actually felt scared because as time went by, little by little without me realizing it right away, you became a very big part of my life. A part that could change everything. I felt like I depended on you too much. It wasn't fair to you or me.

We were only 22, Seokmin. When we were so young, we thought that life was conquered and today I know that is not the case. Far from it. At 22 I had a degree and worked part-time at a cafe to pay the bills, just like you.

You might think I'm selfish, I'm sure you do based on the things you say on your show. I was selfish and on some level, I don't regret it. I did what I always planned to do, what I always wanted to do. And now I'm coming home.

Part of me wants to run and find you, explain why I made the decisions I did, why I never told you. But I know you won't want to listen to me. I wouldn't want to listen to me either. Why would I listen to someone who left just like that? It really wouldn't make sense.

But another part, this one a little more rational, says that I shouldn't throw salt into the wound after so many years have gone by. I have the scar here, hidden enough for no one to see, but prominent enough for me to remember what I did every single day.

I think that's what I'm going to do. I think that's what I have to do. It wouldn't be fair to just show up in front of you and say “hi, I'm back” after seven years.

You have become a big “what if” for me. What if I had stayed? Would we have stayed together or would our relationship have ended years ago? What if I had told you what I was doing while I was doing it? Would you have asked me to stay? What if I had given the possibility of a long-distance relationship? Would we have worked out or would you start to resent me for leaving and end up hurting each other anyway?

The most absurd thing is that I still like you, I'm still in love with you. I've always heard that distance makes love end or something like that. I haven't seen you in seven years, I don't know what's going on in your life — you're really good at hiding everything being a celebrity now — so it doesn't make any sense that my feelings haven't changed even after all this time. This guy I see online might not be the Seokmin I fell in love with, just like I'm not the same person you remember.

Every time I hear your voice I still feel butterflies in my stomach. I sleep and dream about you. When I wake up I think about you and I wonder if you think about me too. It is not normal. It's not healthy. Life went on and I think it is our obligation to move forward together. We are not a museum to only feed on the past.

Let's continue as we are now, what do you think? We will once again be in the same country, in the same city, but I think it's best for both of us to pretend that nothing will change. It's a huge city, what are the chances of us meeting?

yn

Before you even opened your eyes, you already knew what you would find. Or who you wouldn't find. You knew the space next to you on the mattress would be empty. You had noticed the exact moment Seokmin had gotten up, but you forced yourself to believe that he had just gone to the bathroom. You had kept your eyes closed and had somehow gone back to sleep.

You had been naive to think that the night had changed something, that the way everything seemed like it would be fine was an indication that things had finally gotten back on track. If any, the train simply ended up derailing.

When Seokmin kissed you it was magical, no matter how cliché and teenage it may sound. It was as if the world had fallen into place again, as if you had finally returned home after being away for so long. You couldn't help but wonder if that was why you'd taken the job, in the foolish, unconscious hope that there might be a chance, however slight, of being with him again.

You forced yourself to sit up and pulled the sheet up to cover your naked body. The shirt and shorts you wore the night before were next to you on the floor, but you refused to wear those clothes, opting to rummage through the boxes in the corner of the room looking for clean ones.

You didn't want to go to the living room, didn't want to be mocked by the two boxes that Seokmin had left on the counter, but you couldn't help it. It was as if your feet had a life of their own. When you realized it, you were already sitting on the living room floor with the two boxes in front of you.

You momentarily decided to ignore the smaller black box and pulled the large one closer. The first thing you saw was the envelope Seokmin mentioned the night before. Money, especially the one in the envelope, wasn't something you were going to worry about. You didn't care about it, you didn't lie when you told him that he should have spent it. That money would remain untouched.

There were also a few books you read and made annotations on, two stuffed animals, and all the picture frames you had left behind.

One of the things you regretted the most was not taking with you when you left were photos of you and Seokmin. You had only taken one, which was folded inside your wallet. It was already so old and worn out that it had almost turned to dust, but you would never get it out. It was you and Seokmin at Niah's old restaurant, he was smiling at the camera while you looked at him. It was your favorite picture.

At the bottom of the box was the camera you had given Seokmin as a birthday present a few months before you left. You had saved whatever money you could for months to buy him the camera he wanted, one that he always talked about and whenever you passed by a store you stood outside looking at it, almost as if it would magically appear in his hands.

You understood his reasons for leaving the camera there — or, at least, the reasons you could imagine—but you wished he had kept using it. Not because it was a gift from you, but because it was something he wanted. His smile was so big when you gave it to him, the tip of his nose slightly pointed down because of it.

Carefully you put everything back inside and put it aside.

The smaller box, for some reason, was scary. It was light and black, and you could hear its contents moving as you held it in your hands. You took one last deep breath and removed the lid.

Inside were photos you had never seen before. Photos of you alone, Seokmin wasn't in any of them. In none of them were you posing or smiling directly at the camera.

Most of them had been taken from a distance, without you noticing. In some you were inside the cafe where you worked, smiling at customers and serving tables, in others you were simply walking down the street, looking through window shops and pointing at something. Seokmin had taken countless photos of you without you even realizing it.

It was strange to see yourself through his eyes, even if it was a version of you that no longer existed. A much younger and more optimistic version. Did I smile that much? you couldn't help but ask. You never saw yourself as particularly optimistic or constantly smiling. You were happy, that's undeniable, but you didn't know that's how people saw you.

There were so many photos, from completely different moments, both from the beginning of your relationship with Seokmin, and from all the phases you went through together.

Behind the pictures were the post-its that you left around the apartment, reminding Seokmin of somewhere you had together or simply saying that you loved him. So many had a simple “I love you” written on them, others said “have a good day today!”.

You had no idea he had kept them. You always thought that once read, they were discarded, but there they were, intact as if you had just written them.

The very first one you had ever written, when you had just started dating, was also there. At the time, unlike Seokmin who never had a hard time expressing how he felt, it was almost impossible for you to be openly honest. So you wrote it on a post-it and stuck it inside one of his notebooks. He had shown up at the dorm a few hours after you left the library.

“Say it again, but this time looking at me”

You frowned, pretending you didn't understand.

“Your nose is beautiful”

You laughed when Seokmin wrapped his arms around you, squeezing a little, trapping your arms close to your body. His face was very close to yours.

“What you wrote in the note” he said softly, his cheek pressed against yours “Say it again, please”

The truth was that you had loved Seokmin, in a way you didn't believe was possible and maybe that was why you spent the last seven years writing letters to him.

Seokmin never left your mind, not truly. There was always a desire, even if veiled, to return home, to find out how he was, to just say “I know I messed up, I’m sorry”.

It was that desire that made your entire body go cold as you took one last item out of the box. A smaller box that fit in the palm of your hand. You knew what it was before you even opened it and opening it was the worst choice at that moment. Your heart, which was already broken, somehow managed to break even more, into a billion, shiny, new pieces.

Seokmin would have proposed if you hadn't left.

When the first sob echoed through the living room, you didn't try to hold it back, you just accepted the feeling of being absolutely lost and heartbroken.

The weather outside the building seemed to mimic the way you had felt in the last few weeks, torrential rain that had no end in sight. You watched the news hoping for an improvement, hoping that the rain would stop for at least a few hours, but it seemed like a distant dream.

All your students were already gone and there was nothing left for you to do. The handed in assignments were graded and the tests were ready to be applied the following week. You had never hated yourself so much for simply doing your job. You wanted to be, at least for that day, like other teachers who left corrections until the last possible second and left students desperate for their grades.

The hallway was in complete silence, a clear sign that everyone had left already. And you had already waited hours for the rain to stop, until the sky was completely dark, and if anything the rain had only gotten worse.

You sighed and picked up your bag from the chair. You wouldn't risk taking any books, papers, or documents home, the possibility of everything getting ruined was too big. Besides, you needed a rest, at that point it was well deserved.

Ever since you had opened the boxes Seokmin left behind, you had immersed yourself in work in every way possible. You had accepted all of the dean's requests and even offered to teach extra classes whenever there was a missing professor.

And even so, even though you had more work than you wanted, you still found time to look at all of his social media. You still listened to all his programs, even listened to the old ones before going to sleep.

It was almost like a form of elaborate torture done solely and exclusively with you in mind. And worst of all, it was self-inflicted. It was as if your brain liked it, begged for it.

The box with the engagement ring was next to your pseudo bed. It was the last thing you saw before going to sleep and the first thing you saw when you woke up. Instead of spending hours on your phone, you sat there, staring at the small box.

You hadn't dared to open it again. You had never felt so lost as you did that day, looking at that ring.

You wouldn't be a hypocrite to say that you had never imagined your life if you had married Seokmin, but before it was nothing more than a daydream. The ring made that dream an attainable reality. It had been in your hands and you just walked away.

A curse left your lips when you noticed that the umbrella you had used that morning was missing from the umbrella holder next to the door.

“Great, that’s exactly what I needed” you muttered, slamming the door shut behind you.

You were tired, exhausted to tell the truth. All you wanted was to get home, take a shower, and watch some relationship reality show, to escape the tragedy that was your own love life.

You closed your eyes and sighed as you reached the entrance. The next bus stop or subway station was at least a 15 minute walk away. That was a problem that existed when you went to school there, everything was far away. One would think that they would do something to improve that, but one would be wrong.

You thought about taking shelter in the nearest coffee shop, but you knew it was almost closing time. You wouldn't be the person who forces employees to stay late, not when you had worked at that exact coffee shop years ago.

Even with your heavy coat covering most of your body, the rain was cold on your back and it was hard to see anything ahead, even if it was just a few steps away. Even the sound of cars was muffled by the rain.

“yn?” a car was on your left, and it was moving at the same speed as you. The face of whoever was behind the wheel was blurred by the rain, but you would have recognized that voice anywhere in the world.

“Let me give you a ride”

You shook your head. The last thing you should do was get in the car with him. It was too dangerous, you were sure that if you looked at him for more than a second you’d start crying. Just by hearing his voice your eyes were burning and a lump was forming in your throat.

“It’s fine, the bus stop is right there”

“There was an accident back there, the bus won’t be here anytime soon”

You grumbled. Of course, there was an accident, of course, there wouldn't be a bus and with your luck, the subway would probably be closed too.

"If your car went through the accident, a taxi will too”

You quickened your pace, not because of the rain, but because you wanted to get away from him. You needed to get away from him.

“Jesus, yn, just get in the car. You’re going to get sick”

You pretended you didn't hear what he said and kept walking, face down – trying to escape both the rain and him. The first tear fell from your eyes. For the first time in days, you were grateful for the rain, because you could pretend it was just water and not a visual representation of your broken heart on your cheeks.

Seokmin stopped the car right there, in the middle of the street. He didn't care if someone was standing behind him honking like crazy — something that was bound to happen.

When he left your apartment that day he felt like he was 22 again, but this time he was the one leaving.

Hearing that you loved him was everything he had wanted, but the timing was strangely right and wrong, both at the same time.

Both of you screamed, shouted, and said what you wanted to say — or at least part of what you wanted to say. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, at the same time a new one was placed on it.

After you fell asleep in his arms, the only thing Seokmin could think about were the letters scattered across the living room floor. There were so many. He couldn't believe you had spent all those years writing letters to him.

He needed to read them all. He would have done it in the living room, but he didn't know what awaited him, so he collected them all from the floor and a few more that had been left in the box and left.

He read the first one in the car, he couldn't wait until he got home. 

Seokmin cried right there, the same way he cried when you left. Inconsolable. His heart broke and healed in equal measure with every word of yours he read.

Seokmin always believed that you left like that, without a single word, because you didn't like him that much, because you didn’t want to be with him anymore. Not that he thought the entire relationship had been a lie, but he thought that somehow the love had ended. It happened to everyone, the probability of it happening to him was also high.

The truth could not be different. There wasn't a letter in which you didn't say you loved him, not always in those words, but he knew you well enough to know that was what you said.

After reading all the letters, Seokmin called Joshua. He cried on the phone with his friend and then once again when he showed up at his place with bad beer and takeout food. “Since we’re going to talk about our college days, I think we should do the same thing we did back then” was all he said.

Seokmin was on his way to you when he saw you walking without an umbrella. He wanted to talk to you, to know if even after so long you still wanted to try with him one more time. It was better to try than to always wonder what could have been.

“I read your letters!” he shouted louder than the rain.

His words were enough to make you stop walking, but you still didn't turn to face him. It was too hard to breathe. Your chest rose and fell irregularly each time you tried to pull the air in.

You knew Seokmin had taken the letters. Part of you knew he would read them, but the last thing you expected was for him to want to talk about them.

“I know” you said when he approached “I saw they were gone, and you were the only person who came by”

“Do you know why I accepted to host a love advice show? Besides it being something I've always wanted, of course” he didn't give you time to answer “Because a part of me wanted you to listen, to know that I was okay, even if it was a lie. I thought that if I talked about it on a show that had used the nickname you gave me, you’d regret it. I thought that I should make you regret it because it was the only way I could still think about you without looking like a fool after so long. I thought you didn’t care, that you had left because you didn’t like me anymore, so making you regret your decision was the only option I had”

You shook your head. It wasn't true, not by a long shot.

“I'm sorry” you said softly “I should have told you what I was doing, that I had applied for the and got in. I thought it was my only option. It was so stupid. I was so stupid”

Seokmin laughed a little, fingers running under your eyes. A second later he pressed his lips over yours.

“I know, I read your letters”

Seokmin,

It's been a good few years since I wrote you a letter. After a while, I didn't think I needed it anymore because I started saying everything I wanted, everything I felt, looking at you. Of course, this new arrangement has its demerits, as the paper and pen don't look at me like a lost puppy. But paper and pen don't kiss me either, so it has its bonus.

I thought when I came home four years ago, I would never see you again. I thought you would just be the guy who has a radio show that I would listen to every now and then. I didn't expect to see you my first week back and again and, well,  again.

As you probably know, I've never been a big fan of rainy days. I always preferred sunny days because those were the days I woke up ready to face the world. I felt better overall. But also because they reminded me of you. You know, when the sun appears after gray days? For me, you were always like that. Grand and brilliant.

But after that day, I started to like rainy days too because they started to be full of the two of us. Rain was no longer synonymous of an unproductive day, but rather of the memory of our fresh start.

You know this, we've talked about it a few times, but I spent a few months waiting for it to sink in. Sort of expecting that one day I would wake up and it would all be a dream. It was hard for both of us, I know. It was seven years of hurt and resentment and we had to navigate this uncertain sea without a map. Nobody teaches you how to do this, believe me, I looked. I found countless books on how to start dating, how to save a relationship, and how to get over a relationship. The problem is that none of them teach you how to rekindle a relationship after seven years apart, but during those seven years one of the parties wrote letters and the other had a program just to mourn the sorrows of the relationship.

I've read several, so you can trust what I say on this.

It really wasn't easy, but I think we came out better, stronger, in some way.

I love you and I’ll tell you that every day for the rest of our lives. Our forever begins today, in a little while. So stop crying, put ice on your eyes to help the swelling go down, and go to the aisle because I miss you already.

I love you.

yn

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#k-labels #svt smut #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #dokyeom x reader #lee dokyeom x reader #dokyeom x you #lee dokyeom x you #dokyeom #seventeen fluff #dokyeom imagines #lee seokmin imagines #lee dokyeom #dokyeom fluff #seokmin x reader #lee seokmin x reader #seokmin x you #lee seokmin x you #seokmin #seokmin imagines #lee seokmin #seokmin fluff #seokmin smut #dokyeom smut #svt angst #seokmin angst

[seuonji]

彡 idol!svt x idol!yn

๑ secret relationship series! no storyline, just fun

one ๑ two ๑ three ๑ four ๑ five ๑ six ๑ seven #mlist

imagine you fall during the middle of a show, of course your boyfriend seokmin/soonyoung/mingyu would come to your rescue. despite the crowd you still imagine the amount of dating rumours that would arise to which you quickly get up and walk the opposite direction completely ignoring him. behind closed doors he would whine about how you didn’t let him help.

wonwoo/seungcheol/jeonghan doesn’t care much about learning other group’s choreographies yet whenever a song from your album plays, he is the first to get up and dance to it with full power like it’s his choreography.

seungcheol doesn’t even try to hide the fact he stares at you constantly. in music award shows his eyes are always on you. would be the reason for your relationship to be exposed.

during variety shows, seungkwan/soonyoung/minghao get very close to you out of habit but it’s covered up by all the bickering and okay fights. could be seen as banter but also an old married couple fighting—

when you’re practicing till night time alone seungcheol/jeonghan/joshua/jun would join you or just watch you. when he arrives he always brings you your favourite food. he might tackle you just so you’d take a break.

jihoon makes sample music for you or would make a beat that suits your style. you can add your own lyrics. he would follow your requests thoroughly. you both have some duo songs that are unreleased.

you and seungcheol/soonyoung/seungkwan/chan get each other’s albums and hope you get each other’s photo cards. on the rare occasion you get it it’s on the back of your phone (with a solid phone cover—)

due to vernon’s weird food combinations there was a notice of you taking a break due to being sick.

#彡 idol!svt x idol!yn #🐚☆ #📢aya wrote! #seventeen #svt imagines #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #seungcheol #choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #scoups #scoups x reader #jeonghan #jeonghan x reader #joshua #hong jisoo #hong jisoo x reader #jun #moon junhui #jun x reader #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #mingyu x reader #kim mingyu #xu minghao #minghao x reader #svt seokmin #seokmin x reader #kwon soonyoung #hoshi

[yyawnjun]

THE CHOCOLATE GIRL

FALLING - in Love - DURING FALL

JOSHUA x reader

[ local bakery + “do you want some hot chocolate?” ]

0.6k wc : fluff ; short drabble !! ; who will be the girl who's yelling at joshua to run after yn?? find this out in the next drabble!! :) ; feeding my delusional w those scenarios ; likes, reblongs and comment are highly appreciated

[m.list of the event]

A strong wind was blowing over the leaves of the trees placed on the avenue outside the bakery where you had gone to study.

It was an autumn afternoon, and you had promised yourself that you would study for the upcoming tests. You forced yourself to go outside in a place to help yourself to stay more focused.

This worked; in fact, you were quickly immersed in studying after putting on your headphones and opening your books and notes.

After a while, the sky had darkened and people began to make their way home.

Thus, it was 6 p.m., and your brain had stopped connecting information after studying for more than 4 hours.

As a result, you closed your books and opened the menu to enjoy one last dessert before leaving.

Only then did you realize that no one else was around except the charming waiter you had noticed as soon as you walked in.

You could see him focused on making himself a hot chocolate, almost as if, like you, he was rewarding himself after a long day's work.

He hadn't noticed you as you were so focused on looking at him and noticing every feature of his figure.

He was such an attractive guy, you thought, and just then, as if he had heard you, he turned toward you and smiled.

You instinctively shifted your eyes elsewhere, to the boy's hands holding the chocolate, not knowing how to react.

He asked, "Would you like some hot chocolate?"

"What?" you replied unsure if you understood correctly

"I apologize if I sound rude, I wanted to offer you chocolate. It's on the house"

"Oh sure, thank you."

So you found yourself speaking with the handsome waiter for the remaining hour that the bakery was gonna be open.

And you discovered he wasn't just attractive; he was also wonderfully kind and dedicated to the family bakery he co-owned with his parents.

He didn't simply tell you about himself; he listened to you, to what you liked, to what you were studying, and what you wanted to do after college.

He showed genuine interest, which only added to his charm in your eyes.

You two were so involved in your talk that you had no idea how much time had passed until the sound of a clock shocked both of you slightly.

"I didn't realize it was so late."

"Time flies when you're in good company," he said, smiling as he stood up and began to tidy up the bakery.

You offered to help him in setting up, which he accepted…just so he could spend more time with you.

You finished early and were ready to go by 7:30 p.m.

"See you, and it's been a pleasure…girl of the chocolate," he remarked, noticing you hadn't yet exchanged names.

"You, too, chocolate boy," you said with a chuckle

The wind had picked up and the cold was making you shiver - it was time to go home.

After impressing yourself with the boy's picture, you turned hesitantly.

"Joshua. My name is Joshua," he shouted when you were a little further away.

"Yn! I'm Yn!" You replied as you were walking home after hearing his voice in the distance.

Instead, he stood for a few more seconds, lost in thought and subconsciously smiling at you.

"BOY!!! RUN TO ASK FOR THEIR NUMBER BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!" the young man's ears were filled with an even louder yell.

He didn't even ponder where it came from, but his legs came to life with incredible strength to go after you.

Had Yn, the chocolate girl, really succeeded in infatuating the charming waiter in just a few hours?

taglist: @kflixnet (send an ask to be added)

#k-labels #k labels #FALLING - in Love - DURING FALL #seventeen x reader #seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen x yn #joshua #joshua x reader #joshua fluff #joshua seventeen #hong jisoo #hong joshua #joshua imagines #seventeen imagines #joshua x yn

[vernons-girl]

hi! i saw ur requests is open 🥹 can i req for a joshua x yn inspired by their song “2 minus 1” wherein they had a rly bad breakup and swore not to see each other again but their hearts says otherwise. the “i cant get u out of my head” line 🤧 so he got drunk, went to yn and confessed he still loves her and asked for a second chance to fix their relationship 🥲 yn all the time is just waiting for him too to come back 🥹 thank you :))

2 minus 1 | hong joshua

TW// alcohol consumption, reference to harsh breakup

angst,happy ending,w.c:0.6

a/n: here you go!! I hope you'll like it <3

Joshua stood outside of your apartment building. The night was cold, but his heart was even colder. He had promised himself he’d never see you again, yet here he was, swaying slightly on his feet, fueled by liquid courage.

It had been 6 months since your breakup. It had been explosive—a tornado of anger, tears, and bitter words. You two had sworn never to cross paths again, but love had a way of defying logic.

Joshua’s breath hitched as he climbed the stairs. He leaned against the handrail as the alcohol he had consumed earlier still had a heavy effect on him. He had drowned his courage in whiskey, hoping it would numb the pain. But it only fueled his determination.

He knocked on the door, the sound echoing through the empty corridor. Seconds stretched into eternity. Then, the door creaked open, revealing your sleepy figure— eyes red-rimmed, hair a tangled mess. You looked like a fallen angel, broken but still beautiful, he thought.

“Joshua,” you whispered, voice barely audible.

He stumbled forward, you stepped aside, keeping your hands to yourself, not knowing if you should reach out for him or not.

So he stepped inside, the warmth of your apartment wrapping around him like a forgotten embrace. The walls held secrets—the laughter, the tears, the whispered promises. Joshua’s heart clenched. He had to fix this.

You closed the door, your gaze never leaving his face. “Why are you here?” you asked, your voice trembling.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice rough from both alcohol and emotion. “I need to talk to you.”

You didn’t respond, just studied him with those haunting eyes. He could see the pain etched into your features—the same pain he had caused.

“I can’t get you out of my head,” he blurted out, the words escaping before he could stop them.

Your gaze softened. “Joshua, we said—”

“I know what we said,” he interrupted. “But my heart doesn’t listen to logic. It’s been months, y/n. Months of waking up alone, reaching for you in bed, only to find emptiness.”

You scoffed “You broke me, Josh. I loved you, and you shattered us. You left me.”

“I was wrong,” Joshua said, his voice raw. “I was a fool. Love isn’t about perfection; it’s about fighting for what matters. And you matter, y/n.”

He leaned closer, his breath mingling with yours. “I was a fool. I thought leaving would fix everything. But all I did was break us further.”

Joshua’s mind raced. He had to make you understand.

“Y/n,” he whispered, “I still love you. I’ve never stopped.”

You looked away, tears threatening to spill. “Why now? Why come back?”

“Because I can’t live without you,” he confessed. “I’ve tried, but every song, every street corner, every damn sunset reminds me of you.”

You took a deep breath, “You hurt me, Josh.”

“I know,” he said, his voice raw. “But I’m willing to fight for us. Give me a second chance. Let me prove that I’ve changed.”

You hesitated, torn between the past and the fragile hope of a future. “What if you break me again?”

He cupped your face, wiping away a tear. “We’ll find a way to mend,” Joshua promised. “We’ll learn to love the cracks.”

And then, without a second thought, he kissed you—a desperate, hungry kiss that tasted of forgiveness and longing. Your hearts collided, breaking down the walls you had built.

“I’ve been waiting,” you whispered against his lips.

“Me too,” Joshua confessed.

You had your second chance, not at sunrise, but at sunset—a chance to rewrite your story, to turn two minus one into something whole.

And so, in the quiet of the apartment, you began again.

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen x reader #joshua #joshua imagines #joshua scenarios #joshua x reader

[amazzwon]

MY GO-TO SEVENTEEN FICS

────⟢.ᐟ Choi Seungcheol (Scoups)

╰ Rough

smut, 2k

╰ warm hearts

fluff, 0.5k

╰ his arms

smut, 0.4k

╰ sapiosexual

smut

╰ Good Luck, Fermata Tower

firewatch au, smut, angst, fluff, 13.9k

╰ always only you

14.2k, smut, childhood friends to lovers

╰ Shiver Me Timbers!

pirate captain!seungcheol x siren!reader, fantasy au, smut, 3.0k

╰ Dancing Queen

smut, fluff, slight angst, disco club owner!choi seungcheol, performer!reader

────⟢.ᐟ Yoon Jeonghan

╰ First Makeout Session

suggestive, minors do not interact

╰ my heart is beating for two

fluff, daycare worker yn! x secretary jeonghan, 1k

╰ Blueberries

smut, yoga instructor!Jeonghan, 2k

╰ Hate is a strong word

smut, angst, fluff, e2l, coworker au, 15k

╰ How many chances are too many chances?

angst, fluff, fwb, f2l, 14k

╰ Titty-Shirt!

pervert!rollercoaster operator!jeonghan x bigtiddie!fem!reader, theme park au, coworkers to lovers, e2l, smut, fluff, 13.2k

╰ every summertime

16.1k, 70s au, playing hard to get, smut

────⟢.ᐟ Hong Jisoo (Joshua)

╰ City lights Series

smut, rocksinger!joshua, neighbours with benefits, angst, fluff, 75.4k

╰ NBA player

smut, 0.8k

╰ cranberry concoctions

bartender!joshua, smut, a little angst & a little fluff, 1920s prohibition au, speakeasy au, 4.6k

╰ leaning on the everlasting arms

childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader, angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au, 10.3k

╰ Curse The Stars

Salesman!Joshua x Starlet Afab!Reader, Smut, fluff, strangers to lovers, fwb to lovers, 1970s Hollywood au, pwp, 8.4k

────⟢.ᐟ Moon Junhui (Jun)

╰ Christmas with his family

fluff, comfort, (slight) angst, 0.5k

╰ Do Re Mi

smut, fluff, 4k, wife!reader, husband!jun

────⟢.ᐟ Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi)

╰ charity f*ck

smut, virgin!hoshi x experienced!reader, fluff, 12.2k

╰ Leather

smut, 1.5k

╰ driving lessons for dummies

fluff, humor, smut, strangers to lovers au, college au, stoner!hoshi, 16k

────⟢.ᐟ Lee Jihoon (Woozi)

╰ Somewhere In The Middle

9.7k, romance, smut, best friends, fwb to lovers, hurt, comfort

────⟢.ᐟ Jeon Wonwoo

╰ [12:01 AM]

fluff, 0.2k

╰ First Snow

fluff, angst, smut, ceo!wonwoo, single mom!reader, 33k

╰ no such thing as too perfect

office au, established relationship, fluff, 2k

╰ wonwoo falling in love for the first time

fluff, 0.8k

────⟢.ᐟ Lee Seokmin (DK)

╰ Backstage series

romance, smut, theatre performer!seokmin, fake dating with benefits, 43.6k

╰ Teach Me

smut, humor, college au, 2.3k

╰ I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL

college au, brother's best friend au, smut, crack, angst, 15.9k

╰ Patterns

smut, eventual fluff, angst, 10k

────⟢.ᐟ Xu Minghao (The8)

╰ (Not Titled)

fluff, humour

╰ i should’ve never let you go

exes!au, angst, comfort, 2.5k

╰ Flashing lights

model!minghao x f!assistant!reader x actor!mingyu, smut, 30k

╰ the letter

slowburn, fluff, angst, childhood f2l, 26k

────⟢.ᐟ Kim Mingyu

╰ titty obsessed! mingyu

smut

╰ i’ll marry you with paper rings

smut, fluff, angst, 28.3k

╰ kisses to his moles

fluff, 0.8k

╰ Drunk Goggles (Heart Eyes)

fluff, suggestive, 1k

╰ [10:23 PM]

fluff, 170

────⟢.ᐟ Boo Seungkwan

╰ honey

wedding planner!reader, fluff, smut mdni, theatre performer! seungkwan, childhood crush to lovers, 10.2k.

────⟢.ᐟ Chwe Hansol (Vernon)

╰ Friends with Benefits

fwb setting, suggestive

╰ DO YOU DREAM OF ME?

soulmate au. slight college au , f2l, fluff, some angst. pining, 9.6k

╰ [16:23 PM]

fluff, childhood friends to ?, 0.3k

╰ Birch Trees & Fear Street

smut, fluff, 1.7k

╰ sweet kiss

fluff, strangers ish to lovers

╰ BEAUTIFUL

fluff, strangers to lovers

╰ Music festival

drabble, fluff

╰ operation: hot girl summer

smut, fluff, humor, summer romance au, best friends to lovers, 4k

────⟢.ᐟ Lee Chan (Dino)

╰ As It Was

Ghost!Chan, Human!Reader, Romance, Angst, Smut, Historical/Fantasy Themes, Reunited Lovers, 9.1k

╰ Goodbye, Fourth of July

college au, best friends to lovers, angst w a happy ending, smut

╰ Love Guard

Lifeguard!Lee Chan x Lifeguard! Fem Reader, 9.2k, Fluff, E2L (One sided)

╰ distraction, a fatal attraction

strangers to lovers, college au, fluff, 7k

╰ In Case You Didn’t Know

Fluff, romance, smut, a little angst, Brother’s best friend au, roommates au, 90s au, 28.8k

#seventeen #svt #svt fluff #svt angst #svt xu minghao #svt joshua #svt vernon #svt dk #dk #dokyeom #svt dokyeom #joshua smut #joshua fluff #joshua angst #minghao #minghao fluff #minghao angst #dk smut #dk angst #dokyeom smut #dokyeom angst #dokyeom fluff #vernon flufff #vernon smut #vernon angst #svt scoups #svt choi seungcheol #scoups smut #choi seungcheol