#jesus christ cob

[sirjacobthomaskiszka]

I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO FIGHT HIM MORE

#why is he trying to put me into cardiac arrest #jesus christ cob #jake kiszka #greta van fleet

[nerdster312]

#lerdt #lol #omg #meme #lmao #omfg #living life on the cob #don't be afraid #corny as all hell #dad jokes #pun #dad joke #jesus fucking christ

[saltedcornmaze]

Ohio Fact #20: In Ohio, we're served cornbread for breakfast and corn for lunch and dinner!

#ohiofacts #ohio #corn #canned corn #corn on the cob #cornbread #corn casserole #corn salsa #jesus christ I have to play catch up since yesterday was stupidly busy

[bonnielunkas]

okay hear me out, hurricane paranormal society dashboard simulator

actually that's a dumb idea forget i said anything

0 notes

🎮 gamerswag39

jesus fucking christ i'm so upset rn. literally got a call over NOTHING. so what if the animatonics are moving at night that doesn't mean shit man. they move at night at my location. they move at night at the pizzaplex. they moved at night in the 80's and 90's. they just do that. and then they had the nerve to get mad at me for not wanting to deal with it? like? just get a technician to deal with it if it's that big of a problem?

📞 phone-a-dude

lmao didn't they like. kill night guards in the 80's/90's

🎮 gamerswag39

yeah? jake our boss's husband literally got assaulted by mangle?

📞 phone-a-dude

yeah i remember him talking about that lmao

📞 phone-a-dude

just checked some company records my dad almost got killed by chica back in like 93 lol

🎮 gamerswag39

didn't your dad literally kill those kids?

📞 phone-a-dude

lmfao yeah

💙 stanleyblogs

238 notes

⚙ exo-gurl

Alright, today's the day guys, gonna be showing off the exosuit in my robotics class. (Made it with a bit of help from @ history-with-shelly but no one in my class needs to know that. Thanks btw Shelly, you're a real one.)

⚙ exo-gurl

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'M GONNA KILL REED STRAIGHT UP TOMORROW. IT IS ON. SIGHT. THEY ARE SO DEAD.

⚙ exo-gurl

HEY SO GUESS WHO HAS A BUNCH OF BROKEN BONES AND DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL AFTER GETTING INTO A REALLY NASTY FIGHT

🖥 coding-and-cats

you're welcome 👍

⚙ exo-gurl

YOU ARE LITERALLY THE REASON THEY'RE BROKEN IN THE FIRST PLACE. DIE.

749 notes

🌀 tgirl-sonic-the-hedgehog

Me and my gf are going on a date later hopefully nothing weird or paranormal happens!

🌀 tgirl-sonic-the-hedgehog

Hey what the fuck is Faz-goo and why is this random kid I don't know warning me about it.

1,253 notes

🔧 cob-rulez

not to name names, but istg i'm this close to dropping one of my friends. he literally went like, 50 in a school zone, almost ran over tobes' boyfriend, and he didn't even fucking apologize? he just kept driving like that didn't happen? like? wtf?

(pete when you see this i'm really sorry my friend almost hit you)

🏈 absolutely-footballin

YOU WERE IN THAT TRUCK TOO????

🔧 cob-rulez

yes unfortunately.

💛 aimees-corner

And this is why I've been telling you to drop him for the last few years.

🔧 cob-rulez

in my defense i haven't been in a truck with him before i thought everyone was just like, exaggerating when they said he's a terrible driver

💛 aimees-corner

Need we forget all the times he's ended up on the news? Enough to where there's a whole post about it?

🛻 trucks-n-shit

gang i'm like, RIGHT HERE.

🌐 certified-hurricane-moment

Certified Hurricane Moments in history

🔧 cob-rulez

HELLO?

13,572 notes

🧃 applesauceboy

Okay so I kinda always figured? I was adopted? Since me and my parents don't look alike at all. But WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER I JUST NEVER KNEW ABOUT? I'm hanging out with him right now and like? How did we just never know?

🧃 applesauceboy

His name is Devon btw if like, any of you guys know him.

📓 kaiju-fanboy

I work with him, I guess? He joined the paranormal team I'm in because he accidentally killed a classmate once.

🧃 applesauceboy

HUH?

OZ YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A NORMAL THING?

👾 gregorygaming

oh yeah I know him too lol. apparently he went to that abandoned freddy's out in the woods with his friend and said classmate and the classmate put on a springlock suit and bled out? but then devon went back a week later and his classmate was there and they were fine and then everyone just moved on like nothing happened.

🧃 applesauceboy

WHAT

🧃 applesauceboy

NO WAY YOU GUYS ARE BEING FOR REAL I'M GONNA ASK HIM.

🧃 applesauceboy

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE ACTUALLY DID THAT SHIT?

136 notes

🦊 yargfoxyforever

hey guys what does it mean if my cousin has blue eyes and his name is freddy and he's really nice

💖 m4rl3y

Alec please stop borderline shit-talking my younger brother I really don't see what the issue is

🦊 yargfoxyforever

chat, Does She Know?

💖 m4rl3y

Alec what does that mean

💖 m4rl3y

Alec

14 notes

🐻 mnm-fazbear-facts

Hey guys, Mandy here with some exciting news!!!! I'm gonna be visiting Utah next week to see my friends!!!! I'll let you guys know if I can learn any cool info on this trip!!! See you guys in a week!!!! ^v^

🐻 mnm-fazbear-facts

Guys I think I'm being haunted.

102 notes

🧢 thegreendemon

WHO TOLD MY BROTHER ABOUT KELSEY

🧢 thegreendemon

@ kaiju-fanboy @ gregorygaming YOU TWO.

46 notes

🌹 heather-the-musical

This close to kicking this random blonde dude out of Film Club, he's annoying when it comes to directing and he can't use a camera to save his life.

🌹 heather-the-musical

No fucking way he just showed me literal footage of a Freddy's just to prove he's a good camera man. What the fuck.

🌹 heather-the-musical

IS THAT A GHOST?

263 notes

💀 tomb-and-gloom

like this post if you love yuri

5,048 notes

🍀 sir-gee-oh

stuck on a phone call with matt. ignoring him isn't enough i need to kill this guy.

#sorry if you see this and calico's back to back while scrolling on my blog #this is really stupid sorry gang #unreality #unreality warning #long post #hps #hpsverse #fazbear frights

[weezeryuri]

would perhaps make a promo post but i dont want people to follow me and be like Oh Jesus Christ when i start slowly shrinking into a corn cob over chronic illness struggles

[tricornonthecob]

oh hey its my fave ep

LK 117: Captain MDMA

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)(pt6)

I remember learning about the "Captain Molly" who was at Monmouth around the time I was watching this show and honestly I love all the Captain Molly Pitchers, Woman Fires Off Artillery And Proteccs/Avenges Her Love is a treasure to me. Perhaps its from all the Xena: Warrior Princess I watched as a baby tricorn on the cob, but I just vibe so hard with the Warrior Lady.

Anyway.

I don't know who this man is but he's so cold, someone get him some mittens or something

Look at him. He's so soft and gentle. Someone give that boy a treat.

I feel you though. Peach preserves are best preserves.

You wouldn't part a colonial orphan boy from his preserves!

I am now imagining Benji Franx doing the Michigan J. Frog with Walter Cronkite's voice.

this is the best frame of that entire short

I have nothing to offer rn but shitposts.

Do you think he misses them. Does he even remember them? Oh no I made myself sad.

Jesus Fucking Christ how did he not die

The mail courier is concerned he will be attacked by eager teenagers again.

Just. Letting these two 17/18 year olds go gallavanting about the countryside together without a chaperone. Its like the 18th century equivalent of shoving the two people with an obvious crush on each other into a closet. I think old Benji here ships it.

THE DRAMA.

I wanna know what she was bitching about earlier in the letter.

Then men in these colonies! Amirite?!

lol didn't Mama Phillips tell her like three months ago to stay in Philadelphia.

Okay, rude!

They literally sent Scruffy McGrumbles, the Grumbliest Rifleman, to walk her to Fort Tryon.

I love her introduction.

"WELL HI THERE! :D :D *shoves mug full of ramen into your hands* WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS I'VE DECIDED!"

Its got Domestic Cat befriends Bobcat energy.

I have absolutely heard my dad make something akin to this joke to me before.

This is not the first time Sarah Phillips has partook in River Dirt Drink.

And money, James. Don't forget about the money.

#liberty's kids #james hiller #sarah phillips #amrev #Captain Molly #Margaret Corbin #benjamin franklin #tricorn on the cob watches LK and makes inane commentary #tricorn watches

[spurgie-cousin]

I’m doing some research and was wondering if you or your followers could help?

Are there any Christian curse words people use? Like ‘Jesus’s Mary and Joseph’ or ‘Christ on the cross’. I’m looking for some unique ones that express shock or surprise or anything that would stand in for regular curse words.

Many thanks in advance!

Lol oh I have some:

"Oh my gosh" "Oh my stars" (a Bates and Duggars go-to) "oh my goodness"

"Oh boy"

"Conflabbit" (used in place of goddammit)

"Son of a *insert literally any non curse word like corn cob, monkey's uncle, bird brain, etc*

We actually weren't allowed to say things like "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" or "Christ on the cross!" in church, it was seen as still saying the lord's (or his....associates) name in vain.

Followers feel free to add any other weird Christian replacements for curse words you'd use

[drakessis]

watching a big corn cob sing a jesus christ superstar song and taking note of the absolute state of it all

#Drakepost

[yournewfriendshouse]

the amount of absolute cunts calling sam kerr racist for calling a cob a white bastard is unbelievable

like you can know australia is racist, but then they will rush to prove that they’re even more racist than you thought. jesus fucking christ

#‘if she called a black cop a black bastard’ as if racist perps don’t do that every fucking day #and get off scott free lmao #don’t even get me started on how the broom kidnapping case is going down #that bastard is out on bail #travesty

[the-firebird69]

MY24 CX 50 Outsiders AWD 15 16x9

Well this is Trump getting killed again and he's in the movie and he's the one who used the slingshot and he's not David from David and Goliath but JC doesn't like him tried to imitate him too much and it looks like a crow Magnum guy that's because his face is taking over this is trying to mutate his body and he's not very good at it you can see Trump as gain some knowledge that has the idiot along this way for us it's by force and he ends up getting killed when he's only partially ripped apart and he comes back together and random text cob dies in the movie. But the army survives and it is pseudo empire but they have a war with bja and he uses it as an excuse to say that we took the body and there are several riders there and excommunicated for real and they start going after hard knocking her 5150 as others are making it they want to say that it's their business and run the revolution from Britain is there idea but it's really Bob because he knows how to do stuff and it was his idea in the beginning and they don't see it and it's too late and they're ruined and he missed a lot of stuff and he never gets to Florida he gets in fights and he kicks their ass. This is my role like I said I'm going to make it work and he's revived in Britain and he wants to stay there he doesn't like the way Yanks do stuff it's not very fond of our son and he's afraid of him he wants to become a giant for some reason he thinks that he can be big and small it's because he sees the hulks and he wants to get big and challenge him and take over the business which is not really running did they start making these all over and it's different people it's very confusing and there's one manufacturing things pumping out more and it's not the same and it's better metal no it's just a little different the country perfect and stuff like that so he's pretty smart and you figured it out and the sun doesn't have anything to do with it but he wants to hold him as usual it's low-level stuff but that's what they do and they try and say that it's not Max and stuff like that Max have a long range plane and this is part of it and this is sort of it's true too they want to have something over on our son and they're trying to he's going to try and use New Zealand and our son wants to attract people there to raise the kraken and Hera supposedly raised hers but it hasn't happened yet but it will and she has been feeding it and has to feed it now and she's going to put on a calendar and she knows about it that she's going to she told him no it's her husband fashion in the day of both types and she just very well she does a little bit better than him and she's free

Thor Freya

Olympus

And yeah I added a lot of character to Billy Hicks and had him hiss and all sorts of stuff I was talking he loves it it's like this massive pig

Herahaha my husband says shut up while you're at it and it's one of those things he says it's hilarious because he remembers it very vividly that's how I talk to him and he thinks it's hilarious it scares a lot of people

Well that's not blow it says it certainly does make sense now though yeah I say that stuff too but Jesus Christ this is awful he thinks it's going to be fun as hell it's better than doing this dumb s*** watching me walk around his car and poverty with a tiara on it's a little bit better than that I'm frustrated with JC and Mary

Trump

#Youtube

[ourletterstogod]

Dear Holy Father;   Lord I am really worried  about the country I love so much.  Holy Father what should I do.. Our leaders in Washington DC have forgotten that we the people sent them to uphold the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.  so many of them have been there so long and they don't do anything for the people.  Lord Father I think maybe I should sell my house and move down to the Smoky  Mountains and live somewhere that I might have a chance to fight who ever.  Holy Father there so many evil people in the government and evil among everyday Americans.  Lord Father I pray to thee Lord to heal Molly and to heal my little kitty. my kitty brings me much joy and happiness .  Lord Father please heal this nation and its people.  Lord I really need your advice on this problem about moving down to the smoky mountains .  your humble servant  Brian.  PS   love you Holy Father and I hope you can love me like a son.  Lord I really need your help Holy Father,   I am really scared of the government and the crazy people who are out  there.  Lord I pray thee to help me in what I should do about moving to the smoky Mountains and who knows maybe I would meet a good Christian Lady.  Lord Father I really need your help in not smoking ciggs anymore because I am really weak when it comes to quitting smoking ciggs.  Holy Father you have given me everything that I have and I pray thee to take away smoking these evil cancer stick.  Holly Father I make a out standing Bar-B-Que sauce, its a red wine sauce and people really love the  million dollars to have you for dinner and I would pull out all stops to have you over for dinner..  Your came to earth back in the days of Jesus Christ your son,  maybe you could come down as regular guy and I could ask you so much about you Holy Father and your Son Jesus Christ,  heck my you both could come for dinner.  we would have game hens, salad,  corn on the cob plus  a pudding bars..

[sockmonstergotstyle]

Alec being all animated and happy while telling Jace a story only for Jace to cut him off midsentence as if he didn’t even realise he was talking and Alec’s energy “fading” boy you deserve so much better than that blonde twat I’m so sorry

#im emo again #clary doesnt even correct him #she just ignores him too #jesus christ wheres magnus #sockmonster rereads cob #tsc

[captainherasyndulla]

It would be cool if people who aren’t autistic would stop trying to dictate how to describe autistic people...”it’s more respectful to say ‘person with autism!!’”

Dude I promise you it isn’t that fucking deep.

#autism #like seriously #the ONLY people ive ever seen claim that its less ‘offensive’ to say ‘person w autism’ #are NEUROTYPICAL #autism is not a bad word #if you arent autistic then shut the fuck up about this topic #jesus christ on a corn cob

[venomous-with-headphones]

Professor Venomous: Cob, give me a will to live.

*Boxman literally crashes into his place*

Professor Venomous: JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FU-

Boxman: IACCIDENTALLYFELLASLEEPONTHECEILINGIMSORRY!

#incorrect voxman #ok ko #ok ko let's be heroes #professor venomous #ok ko venomous #lord boxman #ok ko professor venomous #voxman #spacetales.com #okko #incorrect voxy bunch #incorrect ok ko quotes #incorrect quotes #professor venomous x lord boxman #prof venomous #ok ko boxman #ok ko lord boxman

[crotiasunlawlol]

Guess which one is nearly 3 years old.

#bambina #raven #crotak #pic #horses #horse #irish cob #jesus christ she so big and shes not quite done growing yet either #i still really like ravens height but yeah jeez shes a big girl #probably as big as moplegs by now

[techmomma]

this is meant to be unironically cute and i’m sitting here like. this looks like some amalgamation of Boss Baby and Baby Herman from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. this looks like a middle-aged man with a receding hairline who’s about to discover the magic of combovers. this baby looks like they need a sailor hat, a corn cob pipe, and a can of spinach.

i swear to FUCKING GOD disney’s Cute Baby Proportions they’ve been using for nearly a century aren’t the only way to make cute characters jesus fucking christ