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bearsinpotatosacks · 11 months

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Forever Pays for Forever - A Jaylah fic

She knew they came for her. That was what families did for each other. She didn’t open her eyes as she took a deep breath and fell backwards into the pool.

The only thing she remarked as she hit the pool was that it didn’t feel like it was filled with water. Instead, something more viscous. Like custard.

~~~~

A snippet of a fic idea where Jaylah's struggling with her mental health and the crew want to help.

Words: 3076

Inspired by Alone Again by the Weeknd

~~~~

For a city that was supposed to have plentiful people, it was empty at night. Blue, purple and pink lights blending together as they shone out of windows and from the sides of buildings. Trickling of water features filled the silence as electric cars paced past behind her. Dark shop windows, shadows of their products adding to the eclectic mix of abyss.

She stopped in front of the skyscraper. Clouds covered the top, she couldn’t see an end and wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t one. A never ending building stretching across the galaxy didn’t sound far fetched.

If she had to describe it in one word it would be non descript. There weren’t many signs but they weren’t needed. Everyone knew what this building was. She did, her crew did, Starfleet did, the entire city was the way it was because of this building. And she would soon be one of them, of the population that was causing so much concern to Starfleet that they’d sent their best crew to figure it out.

Only because members of Starfleet were being affected. Or at least that’s what she told herself.

Automatic doors slipped open as she entered. Her eyes stayed on the floor as the staff, who never seemed to sleep, welcomed her with the same glittering but empty smiles.

The owner behind the counter didn’t smile exactly, but his face wasn’t resting either. Quiet contemplation, and a little ego, were all she could describe it as. Like he’d won something but the win wasn’t worth it, like it was painful or something. From what she knew of this facility, he didn’t approach any of the others, customers, she questioned, with that kind of look. It must be her. She wasn’t very surprised.

She didn’t know where to look. Not when they were all focused on her in a way that just felt strange, off-putting. Swallowing her anxiety, she half put on the well practised mask of knowing what the fuck she was doing on a day to day basis. She didn’t want them to think this was anything to do with them, their half formed threats and putrid intrigue into all them. So she spoke first.

“Can you do the procedure?” She went with. “On me?”

“Of course,” Sybok said.

She nodded. Gulped and swatted the dutch braids off her shoulders. They were fraying at the edges now, she wouldn’t remember Uhura doing them in an hour. Something deep pitted screamed yet, if she looked deeper, the idea of knowing absolutely nothing of her own life was so comforting. It was why she came here in the first place.

“I have a condition,” she added. “No one else, you do it to no one else.”

That changed Sybok’s face. It wasn’t a facade but was well practised. She wasn’t sure if he liked it or not, or whether he was just plain impressed.

“I can’t do that.” Was all he said.

“At least not to anyone in Starfleet, they’ll leave this alone then.”

“From what I know about Starfleet, that’s now how they work, they’ll stop us, if we take the deal or not,”

He moved from behind the counter and impeded her personal space in an intimate way. It wasn’t to intimidate her, she could tell that, but rather to get her alone. He was skilled at this. Skilled at getting people to drop their masks out of pure fear of being outed as a fraud.

“You’re just saying that to make yourself feel better,” he said. “And there’s nothing to feel bad about, this is a safe and welcomed procedure, I can tell you need it, Jaylah, to forget your pain.”

He stepped away. One of the other staff, still smiling, had opened one of the doors. He gestured to it, then offered to take his.

“You’ll take it, right?”

He nodded. She looked outside and sighed. They, her crew, didn’t need her. Scotty may argue differently but they’d survived many missions without her, what was another one. She was meant to die in Krall’s camp, that was one fact she knew, so she was going to let Jaylah, as she was now, die like she should’ve done all those years ago. It was better for everyone.

“All the pain will be gone.” He assured.

She took his hand.

~~~~

Scotty raced faster than Jim had ever seen him. He wasn’t unfit, Starfleet wouldn’t let you be, but this was a level he’d never seen. This city wasn’t small by any means but he swore they’d travelled across it faster than any of the electric cars could, he was sure.

As the building cleared like a meadow in a forest, Scotty turned around, panting and urged them forward.

“It’s not far, maybe we can talk her out of it, come on!”

Jim went to say something but he took off again. Their feet slapped on the paving blocks. Panting filling the gaps that this empty city didn’t fill. God, this city was so fake. Spilling with life and joy but the moment you turned your head, took a second to look a little closer, it all fell apart in shatters. That’s what this city was for, for the people in shatters.

He just never thought that Jaylah was one of them.

~~~~

Alone in the changing room, she took off her haphazardly thrown on clothes, a comfortable band t-shirt and a pair of shorts, and lay them on the bench in front of her. That was from her first concert. James T took her and showed her what a mosh pit was.

She’d loved it. Beats and shouting. A way to release all the screams she couldn’t let out normally. She still spoke to James T about music, she might miss that. It wouldn’t matter soon.

~~~~

It was lucky the doors were automatic, otherwise Jim genuinely thought that Scotty might just rip them apart using pure rage and all encompassing fear.

There was a door to their left. Its glass was glazed over for privacy. A screen above the counter, not attended by anyone, showed people with blank yet happy faces with text about getting rid of pain over them. There was a bell on the counter and a fake potted plant, the marble was a veneer.

“Fuck!” Scotty yelled. “There’s a code, does anyone remember it?”

They turned to Spock. He shut his eyes and sighed. With steps so careful that Jim could see Scotty visibly turning a darker shade of red, he approached the keypad and entered a long number code that made Jim want to kiss Spock’s logical brain for having memory.

There was a beep and a click. Scotty yanked the door open and bolted through it.

Jim rubbed his fingers against forehead and started after him, “Wait for us, Scotty.”

But they were a little too slow, they had just sprinted over two miles in less than fifteen minutes. Beyond the door, there were multiple corridors leading to who knows where. They couldn’t hear Scotty’s frantic footsteps anywhere and knew that they had to split up and find him, but who knew how many more corridors there were beyond each door.

“Where is she you lying fuck!” Came a seething threat from who could only be Scotty.

He backed out of the closest door on the left holding Sybok up by his vulcan robes. His face was even more red. Veins in his head bulged as he heaved.

“She doesn’t want your help, if she did she would’ve told you about her pain,” he said. “I can understand that you’re all feeling countless emotions at the knowledge that you’re losing your friend but take peace in the knowledge that this is what she needs, she knows there’s nothing but pain in this life left for her, so why should she stay in this life and be punished just to keep her friends company?”

That was apparently the wrong answer as Scotty threw him against the wall.

“Don’t tell me your lies, just tell me where she is, or I swear to god I’ll show ye what I can do with a wrench that’ll mess ye up for life, sonny,”

Sybok let out a nervous laugh and looked at Spock. He shook his head but didn’t move. None of them really could. Jim was feeling sick to the stomach with all of this, this entire mission really, but the fact that Jaylah was going to have her memories erased terrified him.

The amount of torment one had to be in to think that that was the only answer was something he thought he understood. Apparently not.

~~~~

The female staff members came in and told her to back against the white tiled wall. Two came up beside her and undid the braids. Her hair had grown a considerable amount since she left Altamid. It ticked her shoulder blades as she moved her arms away from her sides.

A squeak and then something cold. They told her this was so the charge could connect to her mind, her soul and begin the resetting process. It could kill her otherwise. It no longer scared her that she wasn’t fazed by that outcome.

The two staff members came back and began to rub the lotion into her skin until she was slippery. They didn’t bat an eyelid as they manipulated her skin in an intimate way. Their eyes weren’t even really focused on her, like they were miles away, like she was just another figure. Their smiles from the reception were gone.

~~~~

The changing room was empty after Bones clocked Sybok and Spock explained in the most logical manner, how finding her was for the best, that this was a rash decision that she should talk through. Maybe they’d be more settled about this if they knew she wholeheartedly wanted it, not that this felt like her only option.

Her clothes, that band t-shirt from the Slayers of Pangone concert, were folded neatly on the bench. The door at the far end of the room was open. Shutters were open. She wasn't here.

Or the next room either. But the suds on the floor, tracing into plugholes lazily like a river on a summer’s day, told them that she wasn’t long gone. Spock walked over and ran his finger through the suds.

"This isn't soap," he said. "It's far too slippery."

Jim nodded and looked beyond, they went from what looked like the locker rooms of a public swimming pool, to the sleek facade the lobby had been. Two elevators filled the space and only had one button. Up.

~~~~

The staff members didn’t join her into the room. She’d been briefed on what would happen and been told good luck with those fake smiles. They didn’t go, though, they stood in perfect stillness beyond the markless glass.

She turned around and made her way to the edge of the pool. That ride in the elevator had felt like forever. Forever paid for forever, getting to the top of this building. Looking down, no light came out of this pool, it must go right to the bottom of the building. They’d said something about charge but she didn’t see any electricity flashing.

Away from the abyss, she took a long look at the city. More purple, pink, flecks of orange, filled up the blue and sleek grey of the buildings. Glinting squares of life far away. Happy people. She’d be one of them soon, although that idea didn’t make her happy, it didn’t make her sad either.

She raked a hand through her sticky hair. They’d put her in some white robes for modesty. It made sense, every wall of this room was glass. Although they were high up enough that no one would see. But she supposed on a busy day, there may be a queue of people that didn’t want to see her naked form. So she accepted the basic robes.

Turning around, she saw the stillness beyond the glass change. Maybe the staff didn’t stay for this bit, she thought. Or perhaps they had to race to the bottom to catch her new blank self. It was a long trip in the elevator.

She closed her eyes.

~~~~

Scotty pounded on the glass. She was right there, just beyond reach. She didn’t even see them, he didn’t think so by the look on her face. This was her without the mask, blank and sorrowful. He’d never seen her so defeated. Exhausted and desperate.

“There’s gotta be a way in, there has to be, why won’t the door open?”

“There’s a code-” Spock started.

Scotty turned to him, rage still hot on his face, “I know that, but there’s gotta be another way, we cannae let her make this mistake.”

He scanned the room. Not even a fire extinguisher. Not even a hope. He looked at his hand and knew it was the only way.

~~~~

Jim could’ve told Scotty to stop but despite knowing that that wouldn’t work, he didn’t want to. Little by little, punch by punch, the glass door began to crack. He licked his lips and nodded to the rest of the crew. They’d never relied on his command so much in all of their time together, he had to be Captain.

They rolled up their sleeves and began to punch until their knuckles were split and blood marked the glass shards as they shattered on the floor around them.

Jaylah didn’t even open her eyes. He guessed it didn’t matter, she wouldn’t remember soon anyway. Or she was so dark and deep that she didn’t care if they came to save her. Maybe she didn’t think she was worth it. He knew she was.

~~~~

She knew they came for her. That was what families did for each other. She didn’t open her eyes as she took a deep breath and fell backwards into the pool.

The only thing she remarked as she hit the pool was that it didn’t feel like it was filled with water. Instead, something more viscous. Like custard.

~~~~

“No!” Scotty yelled.

Jim wished he didn’t have to hear it, hear such pain in one word. Scotty had just lost a daughter. No matter what he said, Jaylah was his daughter in one way or another.

He lay on his knees and held his head in one hand. With the other, he reached out to the pool to grace the ripples of where she’d just fell. He shook as he got to his feet and turned to them.

“We’ve got to go after her,” he said.

Tears filled his eyes but still didn’t fall. There was a noticeable tension in his shoulders that told Jim that the rage that was there just a few moments earlier hadn’t dissipated.

“And lose our memories too?” Bones argued.

Scotty took off his red engineering shirt, he held the material of his black undershirt and didn’t take that off too. He started on his boots next as Spock added.

“The doctor is right, perhaps there is another way, a manual override or a way to turn off the charges-”

“Charges?” Scotty exclaimed, undressing quicker. “They’re gonna fucking electrocute her!”

“No, although I cannot be entirely sure, I can hazard a guess that the charges are to connect to what the Vulcans would call her katra, or her soul, so make her forget everything. If we can bypass that then there would be no connection and she would stay intact, relatively.”

A quick scan of the room showed no such thing. All there was was a crescent shape, the circular pool was slightly smaller than the entire circular column, but there was no decoration apart from the breathtaking views beyond the walls of glass.

“Perhaps the controls are on another floor, we could search to find-”

“There isn’t enough time for that, we barely had time to get up here before she jumped,” Scotty looked back to the black water, absorbing all the light. “The only way to get to her is in there.”

He went to jump but Jim caught his shirt just in time. He pulled him back on his feet.

“What if you forget too?”

Scotty looked him dead in the eyes, “That’s a risk I’ll have to take.”

“The charges may hurt us, though,” Spock said.

“But you said-”

“They won’t hurt her, I suspect that whatever liquid was in that hose wasn’t just soap, to withstand the amount of charge to not only connect to another mind like this and to change it irreparably would require protection, protection we don’t have.” He said. “If you make the jump, you might die.”

Scotty stepped closer to the pool again. Not looking down, he turned his back to it as he reiterated, “That’s a risk I’ll have to take.”

And without even a running start, he jumped into the pool following Jaylah.

Jim sighed and contemplated going back down the elevator. He rubbed his forehead again while, unbeknownst to him, Bones had stripped down to his black undershirt and underwear, and made his way to the edge.

“Dr McCoy, you could put yourself in serious danger-” Spock warned.

Jim opened his eyes as Bones replied.

“I choose the danger.”

He was gone with barely a splash. Soon followed by Uhura, Sulu and Chekov. They didn’t need his guidance as much as he thought.

Turning to Spock, Jim tugged at his shirt collar. This wasn’t just a reckless decision, but a fatal one if Spock was right. But it wasn’t the worst one he’d made to save a life, he thought back to Khan and the burning radiation as he’d died saving the ship.

“I suppose that because the charges are calibrated for one mind, as I hypothesise they may work that way, we may survive if there are seven of us instead.”

Jim smiled as he began to get undressed while Spock toed off his boots, “We’ve had worse odds, haven’t we Spock?”

He didn’t reply until they were both staring down at the pool. He couldn’t see any of his friends in there. It was like a black hole, as if they’d be swallowed up and erased.

“I believe we have, Captain.”

They both jumped. Spock didn’t even make a sound whereas Jim heard a decent splash as they entered the thick liquid. He was surprised he could breathe, was all he thought before things began to go fuzzy.

I had an idea for a fic where the Enterprise crew are called on a mission after news of people getting their memories erased. Maybe they're chosen because one of their crew, I'm thinking Chekov, has had this done and they need to save him and put a stop to it.

But, Jaylah's been struggling, I mean watching your entire family die in a death camp and surviving on your own for years would definitely fuck you up, and eventually wants to go through with this procedure to get rid of her pain, the Final Frontier style.

I haven't written anything for Star Trek in ages but I've been developing Jaylah's character for a while. This was originally going to be a 6 + 1 fic of people not realising she's hurting and bonding with her then the one time they did notice but it ended up being this idea.

Thanks for reading!

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