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akechi-if-he-slayed · 11 months

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imo the perfect series finale for south park would be for them to dedicate their last couple of seasons to their junior + senior year of high school (yes live action because i think it would be awesome if done right, not insanely gritty and emo like riverdale). same startling humor and amusement, but kind of with a slightly more mature feel (because they are teenagers now after all; even though they don’t exactly “act their age” in the show, you can still tell their naive youth plays a big factor in a lot of their reasonings and motivations behind their actions and decisions) like yeah, they’re still being stupid and getting caught up in the weirdest shit, but this time they’re being dumb teenagers instead of dumb kids. also! feel like romance would definitely be a core thing, because you know. teenage hormones. no explicit scenes, but definitely make outs and the like, and their relationships would play a more crucial factor in the show. for example, i think that at the start of the live-action saga, wendy and stan would still be entertaining their on-and-off-again-friends-who-make-out-and-have-a-different-response-each-day-if-you-ask-whether-or-not-they’re-together and pretty soon, they’d eventually just break it off for good, and that would be a major coming of age moment for stan as he realizes he was only staying with wendy because she was “safe” and reminded him of being a kid.

PROM EPISODE (for junior year)!!! it would be so lit. huge, huge potential there to get everyone dolled up. stan and wendy would already be broken up by that time, so naturally stan and kyle would just go together as FRIENDS. MUTUAL BACHELORS. DEFINITELY NOTHING MORE….not like kyle turned down heidi’s ask because “i don’t want stan to feel alone” even though cartman and kenny don’t have dates either? also stan definitely doesn’t sneak a bottle in and definitely doesn’t skulk outside and kyle definitely doesn’t find him and just. sits and talks and just laughs and talks shit with him outside for the rest of the night and nothing is said about any sort of feelings kyle might have (if he’s even fully aware of them yet now that stan is 100% available for the first time in years) but. you can tell, everyone can tell that something is there, something is starting.

main highlights for this adaptation idea!

- bebe (cheer captain!) and wendy (heavily involved in asb, voted president senior year; there’s a whole episode dedicated to her campaign against kyle at the end of junior year, she wins by just a few votes) as the queens of the school, most popular girls (bebe in more of a gorgeous-can-have-any-guy-do-whatever-she-wants-and-have-them-all-want-her kind of way and wendy in a beautiful-and-powerful-top-of-the-class-but-definitely-not-an-outcast way)

- cartman still cartman but not nearly as volatile as he once was, still generally considered to be a dick, though. at first glance you think he’s a stupid football player meathead, but he’s actually incredibly smart when he wants to be, kyle is annoyed by this every time he shares an ap period with him and he actually does well.

- ordered class rankings (top 5): wendy (valedictorian), kyle, butters, cartman, heidi

- shelley moved across the country for college the second she graduated, so it’s just stan, randy, and sharon. naturally he spends the night at kyle’s so often that he leaves an overnight bag there and the broflovskis are never surprised to see him stumble out of kyle’s room in the morning

- bendy canon literally like two months after permanent stendy breakup. poor stan is helplessly confused: “has she been a lesbian this whole time????? did she think i was feminine??? is that why we were together for so long???”

- creek thriving as per

- kenny does musical theater and show choir. greatly enjoys it! butters is always front row and has never missed a performance.

- kyle captain of the debate team! wendy is vp, and there’s kind of been a weird tension between them ever since stendy split, you can practically hear her say “i know what you are.”

- stan enjoys volunteering at an animal shelter whenever he can, he keeps this a secret for as long as physically possible and this becomes a big plot point as he makes up increasingly suspicious and not very believable stories and excuses as for why he is rarely available after school despite having no job or clubs. rumors that spread: | randy has managed to get access to harder drugs and is using stan to deal them across south park | stan is a whore-for-hire and will give you an excellent bj if you pay up and meet him somewhere discreet (cartman started that one) | stan is part of a crime group conspiring to kill the mayor and control the city (this one has him end up at the police station with his head in his hands).

- gerald really wants kyle to be a lawyer and practically has all of his schools picked out for him, thereby unintentionally giving his son an existential crisis on what the heck he wants to do with his life because he does not want to do what his dad does but he also doesn’t have a good enough alternative to combat him.

- heavily hinted bunny, it’s literally right there but they tell everyone they’re just friends. ongoing gag of them being caught in compromising and/or suspicious positions but somehow having a seemingly reasonable explanation each time.

- college decisions would for sure be a big plot point towards the middle of their senior year, especially for kyle. he only applies to two schools and is accepted to both of them: princeton (college of his parents, their pick for him to study pre-law) and stanford (his pick, unknown to his parents that he even applied, to study psychology). yes it is absolutely insane that he only applied to two ivy leagues but what is even more insane is that his parents only wanted him to apply to princeton and no other schools. haha well now he has to explain to them that he is going to california and is not following their carefully constructed plan for his future haha

- stan is similar to shelley, he doesn’t really care where he goes as long as he gets to leave south park! he also knows he wants to do some sort of career helping animals but is unsure what exactly, so he just puts zoology as his major and applies to a lot of different schools. he ends up committing to uc davis! sharon is incredibly proud of him and cries when she sees the acceptance letter, randy is kind of bitter because he wanted stan to stay and help out with the farm since shelley booked it but eventually comes around (also stan would’ve gotten a job at 7/11 before he started working at tegridy alongside his dad).

- butters gets accepted to the university of rochester for biomedical sciences. kenny doesn’t plan on going to college, but him and butters decide to share a flat in the city, and kenny works odd jobs while also doing performances at various clubs in the at the area. also him and butters choosing to live together across the country is purely platonic!!! there is nothing romantic going on at all, they are just really good friends!! nobody buys this anymore

- cartman literally gets accepted to ucla on a full ride football scholarship for business management and it makes kyle want to tear him to shreds! liane would’ve absolutely somehow paid for his entire tuition anyway if she had to

i feel like the length of each episode would be about 45 minutes with the series finale being like 90 minutes, the first half being their graduation with wendy giving an incredibly corny yet oddly emotional speech as valedictorian that pretty much summarizes their entire lives in south park. and then the second half would kind of be just like providing conclusions and tying up loose ends such as:

- shelley flying back home for stan’s graduation and reconciling with him; she’s a junior at NYU and actually became a lot nicer and at peace with the world + herself after she was able to leave colorado

- randy actually having a good father-son moment with stan as they discuss his going off to school in california; stan realizes that his father definitely is not great, but he maybe also isn’t the worst person in the world

- a moment of “this is the last we’re ever gonna be like this, huh?” when the main four are hanging out at cartman’s, traditional teen paranoia of the future

- bunny finally 100% confirmed as scene shows with Kenny having his arm loosely hung around butters on someone’s couch, lightly pressed kiss on his cheek

ok i have a lot more but my #1 idea for the finale would be this:

- stan and kyle just aimlessly hanging out in the latter’s room about a week or two after graduation, easily talking about everything from college to music to new films to their friends; just enjoying each other’s company before fall comes (they are unbelievably dramatic. uc davis and stanford are like a hour’s drive away from each other but coming from best friends who have lived in the same city together their entire lives, an hour away may as well be a whole ass country away)

- occasional comfortable silence. kyle has come to terms with his feelings about stan at this point, but has chosen not to act on it in favor of keeping his longest friendship intact. nobody knows, he never told a soul. unbeknownst to him, stan has been accumulating the same feelings towards kyle, but likewise has been keeping them sealed tightly in so as not to ruin anything.

- eventually, they somehow start talking about relationships. stan never dated anyone else after breaking up with wendy at the start of junior year, and kyle has never truly dated anyone, not if you don’t count a faint fling with some loud city girl when he spent most of sophomore year summer with his mom’s family in new jersey. he came back from summer break more certain than ever that he was 100% gay. he recounts this story to stan for the first time (he’d been too embarrassed to tell anyone when he had come home) and it’s met with an enormous fit of laughter.

- they start talking about how weird it is to love someone, to have these strong urges and desires towards someone in a way that’s entirely unprovoked. to feel like you would do absolutely anything for this person, and to have life be unfathomable without them. they both agree on all their points, but no names are mentioned though!

- it’s the early morning hours before stan realizes how long they’ve been talking, and despite knowing he could stay the night, he decides to head home, suddenly flushed and overwhelmed with some sort of..something. does he really love kyle that much? in that way?

- the air is lightly tense as he leaves, kyle left feeling confused and slightly perturbed. against his butter judgment, he chases after stan outside, as he’s placing his key in his driver-side door to unlock his car.

- “wait!”

- stan turns his head, looking puzzled and faintly apprehensive. it’s summer, so the early morning is not bone-chillingly cold, yet also not as scorching hot as it will be come afternoon. it’s the perfect temperature, and it’s the perfect time, and before he knows what he’s doing, his feet are carrying his stiff, trembling body towards stan, whose eyes tell a thousand pictures despite his frame not moving a muscle.

- he stops in front of stan so that they’re gazing slowly, directly, meaningfully into each other’s eyes, and stan feels his throat go dry and his mind go blissfully blank. it’s slow and tender, the gentle yet firm way kyle stares up into his eyes, like he’s been waiting a lifetime for it (and he probably has) and he can feel his familiar breath whispering across his face, and all of sudden the careful movements, the gentle intention, all of it is gone in a flash.

- the very last scene of the very last episode of south park shows kyle slam his lips against stan’s, and then, lips still pressed together, the show ends.

#that was a lot wasn’t it #guys im sorry ive actually been fleshing out this idea on my head for so long #i have so many more ideas for this but i want this to be semi concise lol #can’t fit them all in might add as they come to me!#thank you so much if you read all of this mind jumble #live action high school south park is actually something that is so very special to me #i will also accept teenage south park in form of a graphic novel or comic series #thank u very much!#just wanna see these insane children act like insane teens is that too much to ask!#matt and trey boy have i got an idea for YOU!#make this happen and i promise we the people will be watching #thank you for your time everyone #live action south park #south park #sp style #sp bunny #sp bendy #south park high school au #side note here so i don’t add more cornball to the post: song to introduce the credits as kyle kisses stan would be #dog days are over #yeah #those dog days are really over for them!!#the kids are gonna be alright #yes i took beautifully talented singer kenny from the circus episode and RAN WITH IT

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