#ive been thinking about this for WEEKS YOU GUYS

[sweetteainthesummerx]

THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG (7)

The pining saga continues...

series masterlist

Notes: hey ya'll! This is just getting started for real. I just realized that this is going to be so long :p so leave a comment (love those they raise me from the dead) and if you want any specific trope let me know!

MESSAGES

ollie

hey text me when you land!

aubrey

safe and sound back in van ❤️

ollie

glad to hear it

sooo did u enjoy this weekend

aubrey

uh yeah! Never knew that the English clubs could get so wild 😭

ollie

cmon Im wild 😔

aubrey

ollie pls ur the sweetest guy ever u don't need to be wild 😭

olliebearman posted

olliebearman life's been wild lately

liked by aubreyyang, charlesleclerc and 880,426 others

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user1 UMM HELLO? THIS IS SO UNWARRANTED

aubreyyannggfan guys were gonna lose mother to a guy that drives vroom vroom cars for a living 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

liked by dior.n.goodjohn

-- aubreyyannggfan DIOR LIKING THIS WTF

aubreyyang don't let him fool you that's 100% water

-- olliebearman let me have my moment 🥲

-- aubreyyang hydrated king 🚰

-- olliebearman 😔

-- ollbreyhearts STOP UR HONOUR I LOVE THEM TOGETHER

user2 the lip bite GAWD

oscarpiastri r u working out or having a photoshoot 🤨

-- olliebearman guys pls I was feeling myself

-- smoothoperatorrr55 my mans catching strays left and right 😭

MESSAGES

aubrey

fine ur a wild guy

ollie

thanks 😁

aubrey

happy now?

ollie

yes very :)

aubrey

okay bearman

ollie

okay yang

whatcha doin

aubrey

at a cafe rn! about to meet w some people for a project

ollie

good luck!!

aubrey

ty xx

bearyfast_04 posted

bearyfast_04 wow

liked by kimi_possible, landoakabob and 12 others

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kimi_possible sir you got smth to tell us

-- bearyfast_04 can't too busy being speechless

arthuranddw ur so down bad it hurts my eyes and ears ive seen so many of her movies and interviews because of u

leosdad I KNEW IT - me and alex

-- bearyfast_04 what? how did you know??

-- kimi_possible it hurts me that hes being serious

chililos55 I think I missed a chapter

-- leosdad how u look rn: 🤓👆

landoakabob did u go through her insta just for this

-- bearyfast_04 ...no she sent me the last one 😁

aubberieyaang posted

aubberieyaang get urself a man that can do BOAF!!!

liked by walkdontrun, aryannawhatrudoinghere and 15 others

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celine_diorr whos urself? I thought u were standin on business 😤🗣️

-- aubberieyaang but business is 6'1, a sweetie, has big arms, explains his job to me and sends me selfies with a thumbs up :))

-- celine_diorr true I hate when guys do that four finger thing 🤮

-- chuck_bushes I feel targeted

walkdontrun does this mean we can get paddock passes

-- aubberieyaang girlll idk were just friends

-- leeahh_j liar liar pants on fire

liv_laugh_love white man did in one week what ive been trynna do for years #niceguysfinishlast

-- aubberieyaang BYE that's not true we've known each other for like 6-7 months

-- celine_diorr damn someones counting

-- dallastexas she used to watch his races on set 🤷🏻‍♂️

-- aubberieyaang NOOOO stop exposing me

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: @callsignwidow @iloveyou3000morgan @honethatty12

© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.

#f1 drivers #f1 smau #f1 x reader #formula 1 #ollie bearman #ollie bearman x reader #ollie bearman x you #ollie bearman fluff #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #ollie bearman x female reader

[dsaf-confessions]

important announcement

okay so modred here!!! and i am about to share my total, unbiased, unfiltered and honest thoughts.

i am leaving the blog

yes yes i know i try to act unbothered by everything but its scary how everything changed so fast! did you know i was actually considering sharing my main on here because i thought this place was so chill? safe to say im glad i did not do that.

i've tried to win the idgaf war but the truth is its killing me. im fighting in the idgaf war and im losing. it feels like its been months since it started, but its not even been three weeks. just over two, im pretty sure. its not even been three weeks since i've turned 15 years old!

two days after my 15th birthday this started!! what unfortunate timing. and honestly, ive got exams in less than a month, and i've been so stressed about everything. not just exams, not just internet drama, but like a secret third thing too.

its super scary to admit im being stressed out by all of this considering that there are people whove taken pride in upsetting me and for what crime? they're old posts. i was 14 when i posted them. id apologised. id listened to advice. i'd improved. but all because one day someone decided they didn't like the blog, this entire account collapsed and so did my mental health with it it seemed.

i dont like being honest. i just like to laugh about everything. i know certain people are going to be laughing and proud that they've made me leave this blog while reading this post, and while thats the reason ive been scared to leave this whole time, they're going to do that anyway. they're going to keep hating me. so the least i could do is try to put myself first rather than try to push through it using spite as my motivator.

i know there will likely be people bragging on their accounts that they've made me leave (im aware of what people are saying). and that upsets me. i wont lie. but at the end of the day, if you find yourself being proud of making a newly turned 15 year old leave an account that they once found comfort in, then thats more of a judge of character about you than me.

its scary how people can decide that they don't like you one day and make a post ruining everything, and its scary how people can act comforting to your face and then go ahead and brag about how upset they've made you to someone else, but in the end i cannot control what people say and at the end of the day i can only control what i do and who i surround myself with and thats why im leaving.

im not leaving the discord, or the dsaf fandom at all, but i am getting far away from this blog and blocking everyone who hates me because thats all i can do. all i can request is that if you know who i am, keep it secret. and if you somehow find me, please dont try to talk to me.

i think i'll just talk with my friends and post my silly little art and things without becoming a known name. its the only way to exist in fandom i think.

but wait! this blog wont die!

you see, as you were reading this post with tears in your eyes, i had secretly been assigning not just one, but two new admins for the blog! i trust them to keep it running, but also if you guys treat them terribly i give them full permission to delete this entire account. they need to put themselves first too.

so, my last words to the dsaf confessions blog?

change da world. my final message. goodbye. /ref

uhh just kidding!! final message is: if you dont like this blog, block it. if you dont like me, then we'll leave this here and forget this drama ever happened. dont try to make my past mistakes these guys problems. as soon as i hit post im leaving this blog, so any hate you try to send towards me will not go through to me. you wont even be screaming into the void either, just at some innocent people.

thats all i have to say. ily all!!! /p

-modred

#dsaf confessions #not a confession #modred #aaaa this is scary to post im scared of being open especially abt the situation #knowing how much worse it could become if i just say the wrong thing

[annimator]

Soooo if you guys noticed I changed my blog title after the event ended while I was still stuck in post limit jail

It now says “Thanks For Everything QSMP”

I wanna talk more about that

Holy shit words cannot describe how much I love this server.

I’ve been a fan of Quackity’s work for like 4 years as of now and it’s been great to see him grow over the years

And I’ve already known most of the English speaking CC’s beforehand (mostly from Dream SMP, but I grew up watching Dan, and I wound up becoming a fan of Fit and Jaiden’s content since their vids showed up on my YouTube recommended years ago). And all of the international CC’s I’ve been introduced to (ESPECIALLY PAC & MIKE) are so incredibly talented in varying way and I’m so glad to have met them, and seeing them all interact has been an absolute joy to watch.

I have enjoyed every single event and lore stream Ive been able to watch because they are so incredibly entertaining (yes, even purgatory to an extent) and the lore all the CC’s have cooked were amazing (I’m looking at you FitMC)

The admins, old and new, deserve everything and more thanks to what they’ve contributed to QSMP as NPCs and Eggs.

This server was an absolute joy to watch over the course of the past year

But if I’m being honest? I think the reason why I love QSMP the most is that I got to make a bunch of friends.

I know I already made another post about this but I cannot stress this enough

You’re all talented

You deserve to be successful in life

You deserve to happy

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been following me for the past like 6-10 months or if you just started following me a couple weeks ago.

I am so eternally grateful over the fact that that I got the chance to meet you thanks to this server

Besides, despite everything…

QSMP is all about love isn’t it?

So yeah,

Thanks for Everything QSMP

#not me getting sentimental at like 9am in the morning- #qsmp

[miasmaghoul]

Any HCs about ghoul Halloween costumes??

OH YES HERE THEY ARE

Swiss is the one who insists on the costumes. Used to be that the abbey would have their usual Hallow's Eve bash, and that was that. Once Swiss discovered the concept of costumes on tour, though, and the idea absolutely tickled him. So now, the ghouls have their own gathering.

Swiss goes all out every year. This time, he's a picture perfect representation of Dr. Frank-n-furter. The hair, the heels, the lingerie - all of it. Even shaved his mustache so he could get the makeup just right; Dew and Aurora are FURIOUS. Swiss does a full on performance of Sweet Transvestite that brings down the house (aka Mountain claps and Rain records it to make gifs for the ghroupchat.)

Speaking of Rain, he usually doesn't put a whole lot of effort into his costumes. He doesn't want to detract from his natural beauty. This year he's been especially lazy, choosing simply to drop enough of his glamour for his skin to be the most stunning shade of shimmering blue. Speckled with scales, rippling fins along his limbs and back, strong tail swishing languidly behind him. Black eyes and pearly fangs. Perfectly unearthly.

But where Rain is lazy, Aeon puts in Maximum Effort. He got Cumulus and Mountsan's help in hand stitching a period-accurate Dracula costume. Frilly sleeves, tight pants, a vest that threatens to crush the life out of him. The boots he wears nearly reach his knees, borrowed from Cirrus' closet. The fangs are his own, specifically unglamoured so only his canines appear elongated. He floats around the party with a cloak billowing behind him for extra drama, and Dew tells him he looks like a gayer Lestat.

Dew, meanwhile, isn't usually one for costumes. Prefers wearing his civvies and taking it easy, saying he's dressed as a metalhead if anyone asks. This year, though, Swiss had dared him into something a bit more...challenging. Never one to back down, Dew accepted before Swiss had even brought out the outfit, and as he stands behind the snack table he has Regrets. He's in a blood red bodycon dress, one that doesn't even reach the middle of his thighs. A strapless number that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. The lingerie beneath it had been it's own struggle; a lacy black strapless bra stuffed with socks, black satin panties covering his tucked-back cock, meticulously torn fishnets. He's trying not to move too much, the four-inch heels he's been shoved into more of a hazard than anything else. Dew wishes he wasn't so jealous of how easily Swiss walks in his own pair. His hair and makeup are done too, golden locks pulled into an intricate updo and lips red as his dress. It exposes the long line of his neck, and it's work to keep Aeon's fangs away from his throat.

The real work for Dew, though, comes when Aether strolls in from an impromptu shift in the infirmary. Still dressed in his smart slacks, pale purple button down and slightly too tight white coat. A stethoscope looped around his neck and a pair of silver-rimmed glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. Dew really has to fight not to pop the world's most obvious boner while he talks about something with Mountain that he's long since lost track of.

Mountain, for the record, has been spending the last ten minutes or so staring at Rain, so he's not all that bothered. His own costume is similar to Rain's, but as opposed to "I'm a water ghoul" Mountain tells everyone he's Poison Ivy. Magickal plants cover him from tits to toes, creeping vines hugging him like a second skin. There are flowers dispersed throughout, bursts of color in the vibrant green, and a braided crown of something definitely poisonous settled between his antlers. Aurora keeps sneaking blossoms for herself, and she knows Mountain won't notice.

She couldn't NOT go as Princess Aurora. It was too perfect to pass up! Complete with flowing blonde hair, a perfectly fitted pink gown that color shifts to blue in the right light, and a little golden crown. She floats around the room on weightless feet, helped along by just enough air magick to make her look angelic and ethereal. The flowers she squirrels away from Mountain's bounty get handed out to her dance partners - Cirrus has the most so far.

Cirrus, who has gone low-effort but in an effective way. She's in her old Era IV uniform, black fabric settling over her curves like it belongs there. Severe in a way that demands attention. She's wearing a mask, but not the one that usually comes with this outfit. No shiny silver or stylized curls. This mask is simple, white, curved and molded over her right eye, cheek and part of her forehead. She spends the early part of the evening at the common room piano, playing the overture from Phantom of the Opera so the others will stop asking what she is.

Sunshine is a clown, but in like a clown-core way. Baggy clothes in mismatched colors and patterns, white face paint with exaggerated red lips and blue triangles around her eyes. She has a whole host of silly little party tricks up her sleeve too; the look of disdain she gets from Rain when she soaks him with the flower on her lapel is absolutely worth whatever he'll to do her later.

Cumulus and Ifrit end up committing a bit of a costume faux pas - they both arrive dressed as Elvira. Skintight black gown with plunging neckline? Check. Massive black wig? Check. Dagger-like nails? Check. They share a good natured laugh before they find themselves being ogled into oblivion by Aeon, who can't decide whose tits he'd rather fuck.

Copia is a sheet ghost.

#miasma's work #the band ghost headcanons #ive been thinking about this for WEEKS YOU GUYS #nameless ghouls #theyre all here im not tagging everybody

[atlanticsea]

all is fair in love and war: or, where relationships and sportsmanship intersect.

citations: challengers (2024), wikipedia (various articles), friend at court 2022 handbook of rules and regulations, gq interview.

(insp)

#challengers #challengers 2024 #tashi duncan #patrick zweig #art donaldson #web weaving #challengers movie #fan art #nourpost #*emerges covered in blood* Guys. #been working on this on and off for a week ish and i feel insaaaaaaane #so sorry for the minimal text id i dont even know how you would describe this unforchy #tysm august for your slay wuvvy fanart that ive been thinking about ever since u made it. #t3nnis #(pleaaaaase make this tag catch on it's the perfy ot3 name)

[worblewobble]

assorted space odyssey things. can you tell im normal about that series

#literally all ive been able to think about for a week straight. this space yaoi shit gets serious #idk if anyone who follows me here is a 2001head minus You know who you are but idc. look at these guys ok? #2001 a space odyssey #2001 aso #2010 the year we make contact #<- had that specific movie on my mind while drawing that first piece #david bowman #hal 9000 #halman

[extra-somethin-somethin]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week? #yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her) #i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme ���� #it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺'' #''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

[marcmorrigan]

@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up

the best thing thats ever been mine

#tgcf #xie lian #feng xin #fenglian #fenglianweek24 #my art #full color #I SPENT SOOO LONG ON THIS ONE... like not long for me. fast for me! but compared to the other ones ive done for flw. long. #this has been a few weeks of work and im very happy with how it turned out! tried to be thoughtful about how i approached the colors #and i think it really paid off! theres SO MANY COLORS in the pants im so proud of all the fabric in this... #that white fabric has so. many colors. it makes me super happy #also some of the fallen petals make hearts. btw >:o) #idk if they translate well but feng xin has top surgery scars!!! theyre both trans but xie lian is a cultivator so. he just uses magic #i KNOW when he first learned transformation magic he like BOOKED IT to feng xin to show him like 'LOOK. FLAT!!!' #and little teenxin was like 'ummm 😳 yeah. flat' #ANYWAY!!! idk if they actually look like teens here... hopefully yes. xie lian does to me at least??? #or at least he looks different from how i draw him as an 800smthng year old lol. but still like himself i think!!! i hope... #whatever. point is. do you remember we were sitting there by the water. you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of #the tags cut me off there. thats a good thing. IF YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW. #did you guys know i have headcanons about the type of tswift fans mu qing and xie lian would be. well now you know. I Have Thoughts #OKAY THATS ENOUGH TAGS I NEED TO ACTUALLY POST THIS. ILY MUAH TTYL

[hitorimaron]

bonus:

#alien stage #alnst #ivantill #MY ARTSIES #i have been in this fandom for like a week #a week #i dont think ive ever drew anything this quickly #its the feels you see #it warrants this kind of effort okay #of course i need to draw three different versions of the same image #essentially it's just ivan covering till's eye TIMES THREE #i just #it's literally like those 3+1 fics but in a pic form #you guys i am this close to writing a fic about these two doomed boys #somebody please stop me before i devote the rest of my year to this ok #i don't even

[oatbugs]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago. #(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year) #(hed come across the bridge on a lake) #we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared. #it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much. #and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine. #she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

[megumi-fm]

.

#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn #but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one #so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot #i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks #they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary #anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place #and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot #and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop #now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg #a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context #point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop #and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty? #like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight #i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop #anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever #and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot' #see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation #and i was replying with one word answers #and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down. #then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?' #which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually' #and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then #after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me? #and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place #then i got too embarrassed and chickened out #yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way #i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny #megumi in the tags

[rosemaze-reveries]

fellow's unique magic: "life is fun" / a rose-colored dream (makes people a little more optimistic)

he reminds me sm of the little match girl 😢

reality has made him bitter now but something had to have awakened that spell ... i wonder if it was first used on gidel, or if it was just a wish for himself

#its a really sweet magic when you think about it #or heartrending #or sketchy #all depending on how he uses it ☠️ #anti anxiety: the spell #ive been sick for weeks over this guy get him out of my head #twst posting #fellow honest

[fujobritta]

weird storytime and an abed analysis (abednalysis ?)

in s1e17, physical education, abed says that he didnt mind changing for other people because hes comfortable with who he is . a season later, in s2e19, critical film studies, he says instead that he doesnt like change . and now i realize what he really meant when he said that he didnt mind changing .

when i was younger, around 11-12, i would pretend to be other people online . more than five different separate identities in one discord server . because i wanted people to like me more . i made these alt accounts and assigned each one a personality, a different typing style, a reason for joining, a region, and a timezone . and for the most part, they were people who were nicer and just generally likeable . because im not someone who is any of those things . i am not a nice person . i dont even think im a good person . and god i am not likeable . at all .

so i played these characters . most of them only being active for short periods . i would have full back and forth conversations with these alt accounts to sell it . i had these weird insane elaborate plans . a 16 year old former drug user, lives in manitoba, somewhat parental . 13, california, liked minecraft and drawing -- completely different artstyle (and different software) too . etc .

i would let these accounts bake (make them and then not use them) so that it didnt seem suspicious with a brand new account joining the server . then i would spend a week making the account and forming a character to go with it, sometimes asking people to help me out . it was so fucking crazy . i was insane . might still be .

…yeah i probably still am .

i was such a better person on those different accounts . because i didnt know how to change on the inside, i just started over and over again . different account, new me . like i was experimenting with who i really wanted to be like . formulating the perfect person to act like when i finally decided that i wanted to become a better person .

i gave up eventually obviously . im not a tween anymore . i was a really weird tween . obviously . but i think about it a lot .

honestly i only went back to being myself because it was comfortable . i felt better being a fucking douche . and i still am a douche . im not a good person . i dont think ill ever be a "good person" . what the hell is a good person, anyways . all i know is that im fine with myself like this . even as much as i not-so-secretly hate myself, and deny it out of fear of seeming like an "edgy attention seeking loser" .

its not that abed doesnt mind change, he just doesnt mind changing the persona . he doesnt mind changing the person showing on the outside . a separate identity . but ultimately, he wouldnt ever fundamentally change as a person . because hes fine with who he is, even if other people might not like him for that . and i want to be like him . i want to be someone who is fine with who they are, even if that someone is a socially inept ass who learned tenth grade math at age ten but cant figure out when their own face is making a smile or not .

#shui talks #nbc community #community nbc #community tv #abed nadir #jeff winger #this is such a jeff post dude . #this is like #shui posts that are basically just shit jeff would probably say and do . part idk how many but probably a lot . #theres that thing jeff said #about slater and britta #how slater makes him feel like how he feels when he writes his new years resolutions; the guy he wants to be #and britta makes him feel like the guy weeks after that; the guy he really is #abed is my slater #and jeff is my britta #ultimately . im just jeff #hes my community parallel #but i guess because of this i kin abed #abed is god . truly #sorry i dont know what my point really was with this post ??? i just wanted to share this weird life experience #and also because ive been rewatching community and this episode really just struck a chord . in a good way ? i think ? #gave me a moment to think #i kind of pass over with how annie was in mixology certification except annie only did the fake identity thing once #and according to troy abed does that like every week #which is basically what i was doing #man i was really fucking weird . what the hell #i got bullied in school if you couldnt tell

[idiotsofoz]

#ever since he said something in that interview about having to guess based on pictures in the album ive been thinking #curious what you guys think because currently we have no hints #idkhow #dallon weekes #gloom division

[mofsblog]

(CW suicide) Does anyone else think TF like definitely tried to kill himself during the 10-year time period where Graves was in jail? No, like this has been an interpretation of mine for so long. It's just sooo. I feel like TF's absolute grief and guilt during that time period doesn't get talked about enough and like understandable because in the main lore it's only vaguely alluded to and implied and never really explored but like. If you think about it, you can not tell me this man did not cry himself to sleep for months if not years

Like it's fact that Graves got locked up (something TF probably blames himself for), which is already bad enough but then you take into account how TF has pre existing trauma surrounding abandonment because of his folk leaving him and I don't know about other people but I feel like a very common feeling when you're traumatised or hurt is being afraid you're going to put someone you care about through that so TF probably took it twice as hard because he felt like he "abandoned" Graves in prison. All of that guilt gets like 50% worse if you count the implication that TF has been in love with him for a long time and was self aware about it so now it's also guilt from "fuck I doomed the man I love because I couldn't save him"

AND THEN IT GETS EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT, HE DID TRY. He did try to break him out. And that trying lead to at least 3 of their crewmates/friends getting killed. No like I can not state how absolutely devastating that period probably was for TF. The survivors guilt from Graves being imprisoned, the guilt from the fact he got their entire crew killed trying to save Graves, the fact that it's canon he never spoke to anyone about it and held it in for years

All of this concluding in this line that I've always found interesting

Like I could already go on about how his identity and name change seem to have happened right after the last of his crew died and how it's really likely he changed everything about himself to distance himself from everything that happened and how it was probably too painful being himself because of the guilt and grief

But what I find interesting is the mention of the river and how it's implied this name change happened after he visited and left the river. Now there's a high chance I'm looking too much into this and this is mainly my own headcanon and interpretation but how likely do you think it is he changed his whole identity because he failed a suicide attempt (in which he probably tried to drown himself) and using a different name and identity was the second closest thing he could do to stop being himself and existing as himself

No, like I'm sorry, but it's the fact he went to a river despite not knowing how to swim after thinking the man he was pining after was abandoned by him and TF put him through the exact pain he had to go through, not to mention the isolation and beatings TF just sentenced him to by "letting him get captured" AND THATS ON TOP OF THE ACTUAL AT LEAST THREE FRIENDS/CREWMATES HE ACTUALLY GOT KILLED IN AN EFFORT TO SAVE HIM. and then the fact he literally had zero outlet during all of this. I don't know, I just feel like it's a solid possibility. TF's repression of his emotions through his nonchalant and playful attitude tends to, in my opinion, make people overlook how badly the whole thing probably affected him and I feel like that's a bit of a shame because there's so much angst potential there

Anyways I'm normsl about the league of legends gambler guy

#SORRY IVE BEEN PLAGUED BY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT. i jusy think hes neat and deserves happiness and the world #twisted fate #tobias felix #tfgraves #Malcolm graves #<- didnt focus too much on him but hes mentioned quite a lot and integral to this sooo. also hes getting his own post later #league of legends #lol #suicide mention #drowning mention #tf just strikes me as the kind of guy who seems chill and well adjusted and then one day without any warning you find out he killed himself #he needs therapy so bad #im glad he got his hubby back at least

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

the concept of henry killing clay is very creative and cool, I would like to hear more about it

Basically what happened was Henry was rummaging around his old workshop for parts in the 2000s to use in the 'set everyone on fire' plan and Clay found him cus Henry's old house is on his beat.

Clay confronts him about how Henry intentionally lied to him about William's involvement in the murders and Henry lets it slip that he actually knew Will was responsible the whole time and thinks Clay is pretty stupid for just taking their word at face value.

Clay gets pretty mad about this revelation and says he's 100% gonna report this and take him into custody and shoots Henry point-blank in the chest when he resits. He immediatly regrets this and lets his guard down to panic and check if he's okay.

Henry is a corpse at this point in time so he is actually relitivly unharmed (still pretty shaken mind). As soon as he recovers he stabs Clay in the neck with some pliers or something and he dies.

This is an important event to me because it's the first time Henry takes a life with his own hands. Every other time its been negligence or complicity but now he's an ACTIVE murderer. RIP Clay Burke congrats on missing the housing market crash.

#yeah henry buries him out in the woods (he did the same thing with the MCI kids' corpses and the irony is not lost on him) #the little afton in henry's brain that shows up when it's funny to do so is DELIGHTED by this turn of events ill have you know #this is meant to highlight how desperate henry is to end things and make sure HE is there for the ending #his thought process is that if he gets arrested then everything will keep being horrible and he really cant let that happen #okay thank you for the ask ive been thinking this over for like a week #asks #anon #yelling about the bear #murder #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #henry emily #clay burke #dude imagine shooting a guy in the chest and then he just kinda like is fine