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scribble-dribble-writes · 2 months

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Pt 3 - And if I loved you any less, I’d be able to talk about it more

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Crosshair x reader

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And so he didn’t want to stop. He had everything under control and now he didn’t want to anymore. His calloused hands sunk to your hips and fit perfectly.

Your hands wrapped around his neck as you drew closer, to not give him a chance to pull away because he had to know the depths at which his disappearance had destroyed you.

To sit silently as the nights passed watching his old armour stuffed in a box. The vacancy he had left was huge, he was the only one who could look into your eyes and reassure you that everything would be alright and when he wasn’t here by your side, it was torturous.

He groaned against your lips and it rooted you to the present that by some lucky chance he had survived. He found his window to escape and he took it. How you had gotten to his private quarters neither could tell.

His long legs stumbled as he hit the corner of his bed and as he fell, he took you with him.

Pressed on top of each other, your hands splayed on his metal vest. You pulled away as you drew your breath and his eyes flashed a hint of colour.

It was this damn island, he had thought. The laid back air had gotten to him, he criticised himself as his finger tucked your hair behind your ear. His soft panting matching your breathlessness. He could not make sense of it when all at once his guarded heart had its gates wide open. Only for you. The others can wait.

Did you miss me?, he wanted to ask but thought better of it.

He had survived by thinking his brothers were dead but more than the pain from the medication, the thought of having lost you was worser. He could not come to terms with it so easily, if he could have made it out, to only be greeted with the news that the empire had gotten to you too. His only vain hope was you would survive and that kept him going as they contained him like a mad animal in a cage. The thought of you and the sound of his name on your lips were the only anchor that propped him up.

But any thought of that treacherous place was an instant tick, his hand began to shake and he watched as your eyes widened. He bit through, he didn’t want to retreat, he held your waist with conviction that if he pleaded for his past he would somehow be redeemed if you deemed it so.

“What did they do to you?”, you whispered as your eyebrows knit together and resolve settled in the grey swirls of his eyes.

“Everything possible to break me.”, he said slowly, his eye flitting to your lips again as though the only one who had the ability to do that was you.

You inhaled sharply.

You haunted my dreams, you wanted to say but instead cusped the side of his face.

He leaned into it, closing his eyes that as though these gestures were enough to answer these hidden questions.

“And did they?”, you asked, your eyes fixed on his but he relaxed, his finger tips soaking in the warmth of your skin.

“Not quite.”, he responded as the edge of his mouth tipped up.

You drew your finger down his jawline as you felt the scruff on his skin till you got to his chin, which you tilted for him to catch your eyes again.

“What?”, he drawled sarcastically.

“This feels like a dream.”, you said to which he hummed.

His hands pulling away your hair to the side to expose your neck.

“It does.”, he whispered as he planted kisses down the length of your neck.

A soft chuckle burst from within your chest and it felt like a reward to his ears. He brought your lips to meet his as he kissed you with renewed hunger.

Out of control. He didn’t want to be tamed anymore.

You straddled the sides of his waist. His moan that turned into a laugh made you see the stars.

“I know you just put your uniform on.”, you spoke in between his kisses that he didn’t let you finish your sentence.

“Take it off.”, he spoke into your skin, an urgent plea, an order.

But with his hand tangled in your hair, he stopped to draw his breath but he placed his forehead of yours. His warm breath cascading down your lips, his chest heaving as though he didn’t want the burden any more.

“Take it off.”, he said more softly like he didn’t want any artefact of this war between you and him.

You kissed his forehead as your hands worked away the clasps on his armour, you pulled away the pieces and he removed his undershirt. Till your finger felt the soft touch of skin.

He gasped and his eyes locked onto you.

All his scars and broken pieces lay scattered in front of you, but he didn’t seem to shy away now.

“Let me put you back together.”, you placed your hand over his racing heart.

He didn’t answer, even before the words had left your mouth, his had found yours. Like he had been waiting for this very moment. To find you so he can be whole again.

#crosshair tbb #crosshair the bad batch #crosshair bad batch #clone trooper crosshair #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #crosshair x reader #crosshair x oc #crosshair

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orangelemonsstuff · 1 year

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writer's block hitting again- BUT OBEY ME MC AS TWST YUU'S TEACHER IS ROTTING IN MY MIND WITH A FRESH SMELL

imagine before Yuu came to twisted wonderland they have Obey me MC as their life/magic instructor that teaches them bullshit everyday

OBM!MC: okay brat today we going book lesson because somehow the training grounds was digged up by one of certain my beloveds

Yuu: Oh, a book today?

OBM!MC hands over a one page book

"How to seduce 7 powerful men": Step 1. Be their therapist

OBM!MC: you'll use it someday i promise.

with how the game goes, they definitely used it, bONUS IF THEM TEACHING YUU MAGIC OR LIFE LESSONS

OBM!MC: okay you did great with the fireball, but this time do it with an intention to kill.

•

Yuu: Why are we sneaking out? and how did you unlock that door?

OBM!MC: The great ass Mammon strikes again

Yuu: what?

•

AND THEN THE OBEY MY CAST MEETING YUU EUEGRGRGRRG LIKE OBEY ME MC INTRODUCING THE CHILD LIKE HOW A PARENT WOULD INTRODUCE THEIR KID

OBM!MC: this is Yuu, Yuu would be staying here as my student, in the meantime treat them like our own child

Yuu: hi.

Satan: OUR CHILD!?

Mammon: WE HAD A CHILD!?

Levi: m-me having children with a normie... i can't believe it!!

Lucifer: oh dear.

and when Yuu did got transported to Twst and was made to eat cheap ass dry food by Crowley they dont complain cuz they definitely had worser in devildom

Grim: ew, how could you stand eating rice gruel most of the time Yuu? don't you get sick or disgusted eating that?

Yuu: I've had worser if im being honest, my teacher's teacher (solomon) tried to fed me once with an undentified thing in my plate and when i was about to scoop a bite they came to the room panicking and screaming for me not to throw my life away so soon

okay serious thought, Yuu would be a little apprentice to Obey Me MC because its kinda canon Obey Me MC is a witch/sorcerer and aww Yuu being a apprentice would be so cute, helping with potions, citing spells, making witchcraft shit that when they got to twisted wonderland they do the most random ass spells

and i think since Twst Magic is much based in element it would be very different from what Yuu would learn since most of it will be spells and curses to cast

thts all lol

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst scenarios #twst yuu #twst grim #obey me #obey me mc

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ashersanity · 3 months

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Hey, Asher. This is degenerate anon once again. Sorry for swarming your inbox with my asks 😭 I noticed you haven't been doing so well (because I may or may not be stalking your tags), and I just wanted to double-check, hope you're doing well. You're a pretty cool person and I'm kinda worried about your state Please, don't overwork yourself, whether it goes down to answering asks or other things like work or studies. We can wait as long as we have to for the first case, and you're a human too. What you do already is far more than enough I also just wanna remind you that you're awesome, and if anybody says otherwise, I'll punt them to the moon. I would have offered my inbox too, but I said some very embarrassing shit, there is absolutely no way I'm getting off anon, so all I can say is that I'll always be here for you, presence-wise. Eat and rest well today, you deserve a break (˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) - Whitney's left tit- whoops, I meant... Degenerate anon :)

Lmfaooooo what. nah.

heavy vent. scroll past. thanks. →

Really, the last thing I really wanted when I made those posts was to worry anyone, not that I think I would but now I’m seeing a bunch of people suddenly reaching out to me and asking if I’m okay. I appreciate it a lot, really I do and you too, degenerate anon, for even bothering to ask when you could’ve scrolled past or played off those tags as shits n giggles since that’s what it sort of was in my head anyway. I wasn’t exactly in the best of states when I wrote those. Sometimes, rarely so, it gets so bad that I’m acting on impulse, sputtering out bullshit about wanting to end it right then and there, that it’d be better this way if I was never born at all. Its fucking hysterical how I play it off right after as if I didn’t just casually mention it a bit ago because truth is, I’m not okay yet I don’t want to reach out to anyone either in fear of being a bother and the vulnerability that comes with it. This whole persona of being obscenely horny for entertainment, unserious just for it to be a coping mechanism.

Not exactly sure why I’m laying it out all on you when you didn’t even ask for it, it’s selfish to do so but your ask just really made the words scramble and be put together in my brain as though I finally had the opportunity to answer the why to my question. Why the fuck am I like this. Why the fuck am I plagued with this utter crap of dealing with whatever the fuck this is. I don’t know what it really is, some have told me it’s depression and I’m simply in denial about it. Maybe I am. I’ve been through worse than this, especially in the lockdown though this somehow feels worser for no reason. I’m supposed to have gotten my shit together by then, moved out, new life, new place to settle in, new people, people who are actually kind and welcoming, regularly work out and whatnot.

I still feel like utter shit. I still feel like I’m not doing enough. To be honest, life is moving way too fucking fast for me, one day I’m still a young kid who’s spending his time all day at the park and the next I’m supposed to be a grown adult who’s got all his shit together by then, who has responsibilities, responsibilities that cannot be ignored nor pushed away no matter how much I try to run away from my problems. I know that it’s not that hard, at least, not compared to other people I’ve seen who have it so much harder and still manage through it all while I’m barely hanging on by a thread. It’s so pathetic, god. I need a shitty fictional character from a porn game to even cope about it but even then, there’s so much I can think about before reality hits me once more and I’m left to deal with my thoughts alone in the dark while my roommate is dozing away in the next room.

I hate it so much, I feel as though im not good enough no matter what I do, no matter what I try is simply not enough to measure to other people’s expectations or mines either, not that I think of myself much to begin with. Even when people tell me that what I do is good, wether it be art, writing, who I am as a whole, that they enjoy talking to me because I am who I am, reassured on my appearance too because no matter how many compliments I get I still feel like a monster hiding beneath a layer of flesh moulded to look like that of a human. I feel displaced. I feel as though I don’t belong. It’s not there’s nothing in the world for me, it’s simply I’m nothing for the world itself.

I’m a burden. It’s as simple as that, the amount of guilt that I feel when people express affection towards me, wether it be friends, family members, hell even romantic partners which I may or may not have rejected all from the horror of intimacy. Whenever they tell me they love me to my face, that they worry for me whenever I’m in a bad state, I can’t help the pit that fills my stomach nor the lump in my throat because I truly am undeserving of this fucking love. Give it someone else, please. Anyone but me because they need it more than I do, than whatever the fuck of a shitty person that I am.

I have it bad, so fucking bad that when someone hugged me today, I was practically burying my face in their shoulder and clinging onto dear life because by god, this is the only time I’ll ever allow myself such contact every time I push it away. Nearly burst into tears like a moron too even if I rarely do ever cry since it’s been ingrained in my head to never cry, boys don’t cry, he says, only sissies do and the last thing I wanna be is a pussy. Cried in front of him once as a kid and he told me to get my shit together and suck it up unless I wanna be beaten up in the adult world. So bad that someone actually caught me crying once and I quickly played it off as physical pain (recurring stomach ache) hurting me so bad that tears were spilling, frantically reassuring them that I’m good. Sometimes I do wonder, why i am the one to reassure others.

I know that if I actually reached out to the people that have offered, sought a therapist like a few people have recommended to, it would possibly get better or maybe not. It would probably do more good and I’d be able to sort through these feelings for sure but I won’t. I fucking won’t. I’ve gotten used to bottling up these feelings. Fuck, I’ve repressed them from years and it seems they’re finally spilling in this overly long ass post that no one will bother reading. That’s fine with me because I really need to say it out loud for once even if it’s written through text on a fucking platform called Tumblr where cock is more prevalent than someone’s fucking life.

I’m not okay. That’s the thing. I’m not fucking okay. I wish I could play it off as I usually do whenever people ask me such questions like “how are you” irl. I wish I could say it out loud, say it to their faces, say what I really am. I’m not okay. I’m not fucking okay and I don’t think I’ll be okay soon either because I’ve not fucking okay for so long that it’s getting to me. I’m not okay. I’m miserable actually, I’m so fucking miserable that I wish I could just sleep forever and never wake up again. I’m so fucking miserable that there’s not a day that goes by where there’s this fleeting thought in the back of my mind that wonders, wonders how better it’d be if I were to disappear altogether, stop being a burden to those around me. I’m so fucking miserable that I didn’t even bother answering your well-intentioned question and instead am laying myself bare to the world on a shitty tumblr post. I’m so fucking miserable that I had to pause as I type this because it’s as though I’m finally admitting the obvious truth that I’ve been unwilling to say. I’m so fucking miserable that I just wish I could curl up into a ball and freely cry into someone’s lap, I wish I could fucking yell it even.

I’m not okay. I’m not fucking okay. No matter how much I say it in these written words it doesn’t seem to equal to the amount of times I had to muffle myself, clasp a hand over my mouth in the darkness of my room as a teenager so that my noisy parents don’t overhear my cries. I’m not fucking okay because even when I tell myself as an adult now, that I’m over it, I’m not. I’ve been going through it for so very long, willingly choosing to suffer in silence because it’s the easiest for me even if it will ruin me in the end. It’s already ruining me and eating me from the inside. I’d rather dump all of this crap on here than even say it to the people who’re close to me, asking about it.

I’m burnt out, I’m tired. I wish to rest but I can’t.

Because I think I’m fucking a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve such.

I hope you’re doing better than me, degenerate anon. Sincerely so, you deserve it and thanks for even asking again despite the few interactions we’ve had through asks. You’re my favorite anon for sure.

But ahah, im doing fine lmfao.

#LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #lmfao #lol #XD even #I’m so silly #so fucking close to losing it #aren’t we all? lololololol #cringe #dumb post #mentions of wanting to fucking kill my self #oops i guess?#degenerate anon #asher in the flesh #delete this shit rn

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sunny-mercya · 1 year

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Hey, Brother do you still believe in one another?

04.2. Keeping Secrets

Heiji Hattori x Male Reader | Platonic! Shinichi Kudo x Brother Reader

Fandom -> Detective Conan/Case Closed

Masterlist | Previous / Next |

When you're talk, talkin', talkin'

I hear the secrets that you keep, keep, keep

Dinner time was finally over and you all were send of to bed. You greeted this happily, feeling exhausted like always and laying on the bed would be a bit of help. Luckily you were sharing a room with Heiji, if you had to share with a stranger, you either would stay awake the next 3 Days or searching for a broom closet.

Once in the room, you changed into some comfy clothes to sleep in. They consisted of shorts and one of Heijis shirts. You loved the hoodies and shirts of your Boyfriend, a bit bigger your size—but this was the reason. Comfortable bigger and they gave you a sense of comfort. Something you craved more than ever right now.

After you both had finished the nightly routine of hygiene, you looked through the Quiz-paper, which you guessed had more over 100 Questions on it and neither Heiji or you could answer any of them. Well, a few, perhaps simple or basic one, could you answers—Shinichis constant fanboy like gushing, was quite helpful this time.

You had woken up in the midst of night. Not from a nightmare, neither from yourself or Heijis, sometimes way to tight, hugging. What had awoken you, was a unsettling feeling in the pitch of your stomach. Giving you painfully cramps, pulling at your muscles as if they were rubber bands—stretching till released to snap against your sides.

You had good guess of what it was. Shouldn't have eat dinner or maybe not that much, you didn't had a appetite at all and never really had to begin with. Sometimes you detest food or the mere thought of eating, bringing you into a mental gagging. You would eat, if only minimal, then you weren't so keen of starving yourself. You just couldn't stand it, the food and its smell, most of the time. Simple as that.

You got up from the bed, if you were about to vomit any minute soon, the bile rising already and gulping it down again—to buy you a few more seconds of time, isn't as ideal as someone might believe, it would be safer and better if you were already in the bathroom and kneeling in front the toilet.

Heiji had thrown his jacket over your shoulder, giving you warmth with it and rubbing your back. Shushing you gently as you empty your stomach more and more. You wanted to apologise for waking him up, god, you probably woke everyone up, but the bile keep rising— eyes brimming with tears whenever you gagged and the drop of temperature you felt was making it worse. A new wave of cramps rolled through your stomach, dunking your head more into the toilet as bile rose again and somehow this one was worser than the ones before.

Flushing the toilet over and over again was, besides your own gagging, the only sound you really taking notice of. Sounds so loud they are about to give you a headache. Swearing under your breath, that if a migraine will come now too, you're gonna scream. Such a great way to start the day.

Laying on the couch, cold wet cloth over your face, you barley stayed focused for whatever seemed to happen. The morning had already an excellent shitty start and to this point it wasn't even getting better.

Of course there would be a damned murder case. Of course. It's like a curse or something, wherever you went, be it with Heiji or your Brother or anyone else, there was a Case to solve next door. Like as if there was a kind of sickly twisted sale for it.

Conan had a Case to solve and to act more like a Child, then Hattori seemed to have a guess about his true identity. So being around you, for a moment or more, seemed like the best option.

You were mumbling, probably nonsense, to Ran. Too out of it to care who it even was. Conan had notice in the morning first just how miserably and sickly pale you looked. He knew though what occurred to you, having been there for you during the many nights, back then, when you vomited your guts out.

Conan climbed onto the couch, snuggling into your side and instantly you pulled him closer. Conan, as of current, is a child and children at some point will get sleepy. A small nap wouldn't hurt, right?

Conan wasn't able to nap anyways, not with you hugging him closer and chatting his ear off, about just how adorable he was and how much he looked like Shinichi in younger years. Tapping his nose, a thing you liked to do, every so often. A sign of affection, how you always liked to call it.

«Ne [Name], do you feel alright? Can I tell you about my favourite Holmes Case?»

«Just loosely, sure you can do munchkin holmes,» though before Conan could even begin, you had dozed off.

Your body had decided to wake up to a time, where a lot had happened. Two Victims, the murder obviously among us, no car to use and no way of calling the police right now. Heiji had filled you in with the necessary information. Such a mess and it would even get more messier.

After an hour of being awake, barley getting back into working functional and being focused and not constantly in a state of absentmindedness. A blackout occurred, you getting roughly pushed into something, sort of furniture, was basically the highlight of this trip. Once the light was back one, the apparent third victim, thanks to Heiji, and only gotten a stab wound instead of the death.

A discussion had broken out.

«Heiji! Is everything okay?» Conan had almost gotten a shock, when he peered from behind the door. You being so near, could lead you to find out about him and his secret. Using his voice-changer, to lure you away from Hattoris sleeping body and telling you, with the voice of Hattori; that everything was alright and that he just wanted to test Mr.Mori's detective pose.

You were relieved that Heiji wasn't hurt. Standing back up you took a few steps back, listening Heijis solutions of the murder was and for their possible reason to do such grotesque inhumanly things.

Heiji crouched down to Conans hight, giving him a smirk. Seeing the child acting even more childlike and almost skittish, confirmed Heijis suspicions.

«Oi, you're Kudo aren't you?» Heiji asked bluntly, no need to sugarcoat it. No lie or child like act could help Conan now.

«but but, Hattori, I'm just a child who wants to be like Holmes, so what are you talking about?» Conan chuckled nervously, waving his hands around. He needed a plausible lie. Quick.

«Sure, so then you wouldn't mind if I tell them about it right~?» asked Heiji, nodding his head towards you and Ran.

«AH!» Conan didn't wanted to shout so loudly, but he did and when he grabbed Hattoris sleeve, to pull him aside, he saw the twisting of your face into a grimace—brows furrowed. You were skeptical.

During the long bus ride home, Conan had taken a seat next to Hattori. Speaking with him in a hushed manner, not wanting to wake up—since you finally had peaceful slumber. Conan had no other choice but to tell Hattori everything of his secrets. Perhaps it was for the best, if he didn't want to risk it of being found out by you or Ran.

You would behead him, hating him even when you would know about Conan's/Shinichis—his secret.

«I will tell you everything, but you have to promise me not to tell anyone, neither Ran and especially not [Name]. Promise me.»

If Heiji had known that day, just how hard it would be too keep this damned secret from you and how much it hurting you till you finally had collapsed, Heiji wouldn't have perhaps agreed to it.

Got a secret, can you keep it?

Now you're tellin' lies 'cause you have sworn to keep it.

Got a secret, can you keep it?

#male reader #anime #case closed #detective conan/case closed #heiji hattori #heiji hattori x male reader #shinichi kudo #kudo shinichi #hattori heiji #x male!reader

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sleepy-meep · 1 month

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🎟️

This is your ticket to go on a ramble of anything that’s on your mind or anything you want to go ahead and share! Lore, creations, thoughts, anything that’s interesting you lately.

hmmmm *stares at Yumi*

Well there was a silly rambles about Yumi, tho i ended up getting on the depessing topics about her, sp instead of that I might as well go to a different lore about Yumi

Aside from her connections with Exe, she still remained human no matter what since it is clearly not her place to be destined to become a puppet. From his perspective he thinks that she is destined to become a timekeeper. (Tho its doesnt seem to be the case since she never handle it well and just kept a forced smile.)

She often smiles which it was too perfect no one can tell if she is sad or not.

Rest assured tho it was no fake.

She somehow has apathy to forget the cycle pain and just move on with the others.

As a timekeeper, she is the only one who is aware of what is going to happen in the future, and is the only one who knows the past. And yet it never fails to drive her insane cause its way too much information to keep it in the head to be well aware, she is human and she isnt asking to be the perfect timekeeper but literally asking for a relaxing life.

Tho she can be seen as more often creepy for a while at a first thought since its hard to come up with a lore that makes sense.

Like Yumi trying to create potions to make Yume in disguise in order not to give a heavy headache for Crowley for every public events. There were times where she has to be a female in certain events but she barely cares about it since she can tell there is somehow no consequences to that.

What the others weren’t aware is that Yumi often gets more stress than ever to the point that she almost lost her sanity, to destress it she often waits patiently for Riddle to invite her on an unbirthday party to relax or invites Riddle and the others to visit Ramshackle Dorm to have a relaxing home-cooking meals and drinks. She is a Jamil/Trey tier chef but focuses on the other foods from earth she tried to re-remember.

I do like to think that Yumi secretly create a private room where she kept her previous memorized subjects in a book she manage to find and got it time reversal proof just to preserve its knowledge, so when she needed a knowledge recap she can simply go there and re-read it again to relax more often.

Earth books are almost similar to Twisted Wonderland but there are clear differences. Twisted Wonderland books often has grimoires of magical spells and other knowledge that FOCUSES on magic, while Earth focuses on books that doesn’t contain knowledge about magic but languages and etc. Tho both has similar in common known as technology, history, etc. (Tho its highest differences is the magic and non magic books)

From what I can think of in Twisted Wonderland, people with magic tend to have more superior and power than the magic-less. Yumi who thinks who doesn’t have magic in the first place just tries not to give a damn about it since they are just human and neither the less, tho she can be wrong since she does not know which factions are WAY worser since both sides DOES have intentions but worse. From that I mean literally witnessing evil intentions that can destroy a persons mind by a single action that can change everything with a blink of an eye, bothering the change the past can’t completely solve everything since its not really that necessary (unless she is in a massive world of pain if that is an option).

Another part of the ramble is what is mostly preferable, having the mc in twst having the magic or not but that alone doesn’t seem to be interesting in the first place, I wanna ramble more about Yumi anyway.~

When I think of the twst mc, it was mostly focused on the beginning, but what about the end. Or another scenario as to what happens everything repeats but the twst mc knows what is going to happen next wanting to refix the situation but cannot due to past trauma of timeline interfering, or another scenario where the mc wanted to warn the next timeline but making a scenario from what they learned from their experiences and converted it to a scenery dream where the player themselves feel nostalgic. (Basically re-remembering a scene of a disney movie THAT WILL EVENTUALLY HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER)

Keeping the photos as a mystery to the twst mc would be a bit of a challenge since the photography not only keeps the photo itself, but the memories of why that photo is basically taken two times. Tho it never makes sense as to why the thorns covered the first card.

There is basically too much info that my brain just exploded/j

For my silly summary about Yumi tho, I do view her as a silly test mc but basically ignore her mental health just to take care of the twst boys like she is a sibling to them, tho she doesn’t pick favorites since she did spend many timeline cycles interacting with them and kept it on the camera till the current timeline of Yumi reviews the previous photos taken in the magical camera that has been taking dust.

Tho I do wonder

The magical camera serves as the main reason why it made the twst boys look attractive, but how is it still active from the amount of dust it collected when its BASICALLY abandoned by Crowley.

Tho in my silly ramblings its just making Yumi the timekeeper at this rate/j

I do want to make more ramblings about her relationship with the boys but i barely made progress due to work purposes, so hopefully I can still remind myself to make more ramblings about this one day.

#oc #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #yuusona

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emmacreatures · 1 year

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A NIGHT OUT

Okay so. NGL, I was struggling to find what to write about. I had like 10 little small stories, but usually.. Once I started to writr in detail, one thing after another popped up. I actually half way got so emotional, but I'm like... Honestly so happy again of how this story turned out... I hope you all enjoy! Featuring Muller and Curran~

Its been a while now working at the RDA. It was a major shock a few months ago for Muller to see Curran live in the flesh again.. But different. Having figured his memories were blocked, Muller had a hard time to adjust to see him or even handle eye contact at that. His heart was just in pain, but he didnt want it to overtake him completely, despite how hard it was. As literal months had passed, the man wanted to tackle this the best way, despite you can imagine its rough for someone to see their original soulmate, know nothing about you, while you know everything. Surprisingly enough, Curran seemed to click well with Muller.. It was just his nature. Muller on the first hand tried to avoid any closure, whether it meant to work together, or any kind of interaction.. But despite he was trying to avoid any confrontation, he too knew it could lead to worser things if he was to run away from everything, and Muller wasnt a person to do that.. Especially since Curran would have no clue why. The man did ask two times if anything was wrong.. But he too assured Muller to stop tensing up around him, taking his word.. Curran couldnt know.. But Muller tried to make the best of it at this point, with the time that passed and how he knew it would be inevitable to avoid him.. He didnt even want it, but he didnt know what his emotions could cause, considering the man was his whole world and more. He told himself it was a new life, and while it was harsh.. Might as well make the best out of it.

Eclipse was approaching, as per usual, Muller was just working while most people were already stopping for the day.. Sighing as through all this time he hadnt been able to get into pandora at night yet. Having his own lab definitely had benefits, he had his own private space to do his own research. The RDA knew the impact Muller had, especially since he was the one thinking of the recom project in the first place.. So as much as they gave him quite the freedom with his lab, letting him out of it was a different story. He wanted samples so badly to do research on the nature of pandora and figure out why specific chemicals did what they did, but the RDA had become stricter of who went out and who did not... Especially to Muller. The one person did they not want to loose out of their might.

Sighing deeply as Muller was stuck on his research, a gentle but strong knock came from his door, making his ears perk up.. At this hour? "Come in?" he asked gently, noticing Curran, seeming a bit tired peek through the door. A man he honestly at this rate did not expect. "do you mind?... I'm getting rather tired of all those men talking about god knows what.. I felt like this was the calmest place I could go to" Curran said manly and tired, making Muller smile before explaining. "Oh no, not at all... there is not much happening here though. but please, feel free to" he said gently, noticing the man entering the room and closing the door behind him before letting himself just flop onto one of the comfortable chairs that were around. "Must've been some tough jobs.." "100%.. They know what to use us for" curran replied before gently sighing, crossing his arms while sinking into his seat.. Having his eyes closed to come at peace. In the moment, Muller looked towards the man, smiling as he seemed to really need it. Feeling surprised he came his way. It was so twisted yet fun to see for Muller, that somehow, despite he even tried hard to keep his distance, Curran's welcoming energy which really seemed to appear in all the versions god could possibly make of him.. or in this case eywa. It was literally unavoidable to meet again, even with Muller's trying. So instead of fighting it.. He just let whatever happened happen, but he was careful, very, for his own sake.

Some time definitely passed, perhaps an hour or two. Curran had taken a nap in some way, but stayed conscious.. Just finally able to hear himself think as the manly recom group could be alot to deal with.. He opened his eyes gently to see the man struggle abit. Just the fact Curran was able to 'regroup' himself sorta.. Gaining his energy as he was able to destress within no time, he gained curiosity to what the man was doing. "What are you working on? You seem to struggle despite I know you're known for your work" Curran said gently for he sat up better, finally feeling refreshed and thankful he could just sit down in peace at Muller's lab.

Muller was surprised to hear a sudden noise from him after two hours, looking at his notes and computers.. "I'm currently trying to see how.. Things flow through the earth here. How its possible so many connections happen with the speed of light... Its unlike anything we ever saw on earth.. But as much as I'm not allowed to say it, the RDA was rather rough with the samples, in which several I couldnt use. I just wish I could go out there, especially at night" Muller explained for Curran tilted his head, rolling a little closer with his chair. "You should've known the person I always worked with. Grace, she.. Would kick their asses and just demand it. Thats not my nature, but they dont allow me to go out there from the times I've tried, not that I've been so forward about it." Muller admitted as he wasnt the most harsh person at all, for Curran frowned gently. "you're not allowed to? As a scientist at that?" The man asked rather questionable towards the RDA, making Muller scoff in an innocent way. "Sounds a bit weird right.. I feel like the Rda wants to keep an eye on me, i guess because i'm important to them and do most of the stuff.. Especially at night" He gently said, making Curran raise his head a bit, attracting Muller's attention. "First of all, do not assume you're not important, because you are" the man said quite clear, making Muller's ears softly fold.. something he almost rememberd from human Curran.. Protective and watchful over his friends and more, remembering people they were always loved and important.

"secondly, what did they exactly tell you concerning this matter" Curran sounded strong and very serious, making Muller swallow for he was just a bit in shock to see how much the man was.. Like he knew him.. Shaking it off quickly, he replied. "the requirements would be someone of the units or any type of bodyguard has to come with me. I cant go without anyone, but they're busy most of the time, nor do they want to babysit me, because I know thats how they look at it." Muller said as his ears folded, quickly picking himself up from. "It doesnt matter.. I have everything already that I technically needed" Muller said to shake it off, but Curran thought differently about it. Very. "if they say you need a boydguard from the recom or any unit, which would be the only reason you cant go, I'll go with you" the man sounded so determined and serious, making Muller turn fully to the man.. "Wait. Really?" "if thats what they want, I'm eligiable right, I'm from those units, so we're going" Curran said as he stood up, which made Muller realize the man was very serious about it. "wait NOW?" the man said in shock and very excited in one tone, making Curran turn to the man. "you needed the things especially at night? So lets go-" "But what if you have any important things to do, this can wait Curran-" Muller tried to shush the man gently, but Curran was aimed on what he wanted to do. "This is very important for you, which makes it important to me too. Lets go, that way we still have the whole night" Curran said for he convinced Muller all the way, making the man sigh in an almost defeated way, for trying to stop him which was hopeless, smiling as he followed the man.

An hour later.. And with a lot of haggling with the RDA, Curran and Muller officially were in the jungle, dropped off by one of the recom pilots who luckily had a spot left to go. Slowly getting into the jungle, Curran gently followed Muller who seemed to know his way almost perfectly, the nerd that he was. After a while, curran at times raised his gun that he held for safely, putting it on his back once he saw nothing could happen.

"I can see what they meant for you being well protected, despite fullfilling their wishes on what was nessesairy, they still had a hard time letting you go" Curran said as he walked confidently, noticing pandora all lit up.. Taking the time to look at it now. "I thought i was alone on seeing it, but I guess it helped you mentioning that this had quite the priority for my research.." Muller said as he sighed, turning to Curran. "thank you, so much" He said, seeing Curran nodded his head once as a response as a soft smile appeared on the soldier's face, making Muller swallow as it felt so new, yet so familair.. making him move further into the jungle while the man watched him.

"Ah, here it is!!" Muller said so excited, almost running before kneeling down infront of beautiful almost mushroom like shape, stuck to a huge tree.. that glew like the galaxy.. Taking samples of everything. "This is a Panopyra.. One of the most well developed specimens ever recorded" Muller just started talking, for his soft nature of wanting to share came upfront. "In na'vi they call it a Tawtsngal, or well sky cup. Its said it comes as close as an actual jelly fish in our world, or well, previous world. But it doesnt stop there. Its a new evolution towards a primitive nervous system, even among pandora, which is why I needed these samples, to see how this specimen does what it does" Muller said for Curran softly approached, taking the gun in his hand before kneeling down a bit closer, watching exactly what Muller did. "So what does it do?" he asked genuinely interested, for Muller continued. "Its like those meat eater plants.. Through its special genes, it attracts prey, for it makes beautiful and almost medicine like water for us Na'vi, but tend to be dangerous to feed itself among the prey animals, luring it in. The question is.. How does it do it. How does it lure prey like that" Muller said before he laughed. "And another funfact.. The growing tips of the stems with their sensory cells are said to be an attractant and aphrodisiac and often worn by young Na'vi who are looking for a mate.. So it can not only lure prey, but also lure other na'vi when used in such matter" Muller said as the idea made him smile, before noticing or well catching himself to ramble.. Sighing.

"i'm rambling am I.. I'm possibly boring you out or make you regret you took a scientist all the way here in your free time" Muller said as Curran shook his head gently, a soft yet so welcoming low laughter left his body. "Did you hear me say any of that? I feel like I havent told you something in that direction have i? Maybe even at that, we should give this plant a try, see if it actually does work" Curran said with a smirk, having heard what this plant can do so went in on that for fun yet intelligent, but especially.. reassuring with just a couple of words and body language that he was in fact incredibly interested to listen to Muller and that he should continue.. Who just was silent for a bit to process.. he felt like he didnt dare to get attached again.. but the soft invitable energy of Curran made him slowly open his doors again. he could see this wasnt planned, nor faked.. the man was just like that.. Muller at times almost cursed inside despite it wasnt his nature.. How could one man, be so beautiful in so many ways. His soul was like none other. "dont underestimate the power of pandora Curran" muller eventually said after letting things sink in, seeing Curran was waiting on hearing more of Muller. "So, what else is there around here, care to explain some?" Curran asked as he at this point kneeled close to Muller, who softly blushed a little, trying to hold himself a bit together as a lot of emotions crawled through his body.. But just as he was explaining some more... something miraculous happened.. "You really have to tell me when I just tell too much.. I just- get so fascinated by so many things..." Muller explained before he noticed..

"Atokirina..." Muller said, almost speechless at this point, seeing several woodsprites, come down towards the two, one in particular decided to softly go towards Curran, who was still kneeling on the ground while watching the thing approach him, not moving.. "I suppose these.. They dont hurt do they" Curran said.. For most recom's would've already hit them away like Jake even did.. Curran noticed Muller's response, sensing these things were special. If they would've been dangerous, the scientist would've told him. "what are they?" Curran asked gently, noticing one of them resting on his shoulder, for he looked at it closely, feeling it walk.. so gently over his skin.. "You've been blessed Curran.." Muller said as tears filled his eyes of joy.. If he was a human, the chances were so small that these beautiful spirits would come at them, but now.. He finally saw them so upclose, smiling as he gasped gently, watching the little woodsprite walk over The man's shoulder, resting and moving every now and then. "They're called Atokirina.. Sacred and beautiful spirits here from pandora, coming from the sacred tree.. these seeds are believed to be auspicious wheresoever they land or rest" Muller said, seeing some more wander around them, but only one rested ontop of Curran so far.. "I can barely believe it.." Muller whispered, for Curran watched the gentle woodsprite slowly walk down his arm, more towards Muller..

"I feel like its wanting to walk your way though" The man said so gently, being near muller for he decided to take the man's hand that was near.. "Here.." He said, holding the man's hand for the little woodsprite did in fact decide to walk over his front arm.. To the wrist, over his hand, to Muller's hand.. like a little bridge, holding each other's hand as their arms were beautifully in balance. As soon as the woodsprite had gotten to Muller, he gently let go of his hand.. Watching the man be so in awe.. for Muller was processing their whole occurence. "Hi..." Muller whispered in Na'vi to the little Atokirina.. Just still having some watery eyes to realize this was happening. "it seems to like you more.." Curran said as he had sat down on the ground by now after constantly kneeling.. Seeing Muller had gotten onto his knees. "they landed on you first.. I doubt they like me more" he said with the softest smile, noticing another woodsprite going towards Curran, landing on the man's chest this time.. exactly on the spot he was.. shot, in his previous life.. Muller just sighed to see it, may it be coincidence or not, but that thought soon passed once he noticed more and more of them, resting on the both of them.. "Do you know if they do this often.." Curran asked for he laughed manly in his own way, seeing the two almost covered by them by now, sitting there for as long as they wanted. "They're.. Very independant from what I know.. I cant tell, despite what I know.. I just cant believe it is happening. If I were to still be human, this would be out of the question" the man said, as Curran just watched Muller be in awe.. "Lucky for us to not be human anymore then.." the man said with the sweetest intention, wanting to say how happy he was for Muller that he could experience it now, but that exact sentence hit a snare to his heart despite he sensed the man's intentions were too perfect to be true almost..

Trying to hide it while he was so happy this all happened, he let some tears flow down his cheeks.. "you're right.." Muller could only reply, trying to hide it while he was still happy.. But he just had troubles hiding away his deep wounds at times, but curran didnt know better which was the thing that just hurt the most at times.. and yet, Curran was there, knowing how to comfort, without a clue that he did all of that.. in his earlier life. "hey.." Curran of course noticed his tears, gently swiping some away for he had the most comforting hold upon Muller's face. "Are you okay?" "I will be.. Its just, my emotions can be all over" He said honest, making Curran wipe some more tears before he noticed more woodsprites gently covering the arm that he helped Muller with.. For Muller had to smile about it.. It was an unforgettable moment, noticing the way things happened.. And the way they were blessed by the beautiful Atokirina. It was indescribable. "Thank you Curran.. If it wasnt for you, we wouldnt even be here" Muller said as Curran smiled in a way that made Muller fall in love all over again. "I should be thanking you, despite that might not sound like what a soldier would say" the man said confidently, making Muller softly laugh again. "I'd never see anything like this when it would come to the recom group. I'd chose this over hanging with them anytime" The man said as Muller's heart was trying its best to hold itself together.. It felt like reshaping itself, slowly a bit more away from the pain, just to see the man be himself. So honest, reliable.. Warm.. The little woodsprites all the sudden softly raised themselves from their bodies, having stayed there for a good amount..

"guess thats our sign to slowly head back, unless you need more samples of course" Curran said as he slowly stood up, seeing Muller watch the woodsprites leave, before looking up at Curran. "The ones I needed are secured. I got several so, by all means, lets head back like you said. Dont want to make it too late for you either" Muller softly said for Curran smiled.. "Alright. I'll notify our pilot. Should be here in anytime soon" Curran said as he called through his neck piece, making Muller softly walk behind him, looking back at the place they sat for his heart jumped a little out of joy, before following the man back where they'd be picked up.

Slowly having arrived back at the RDA, The labs and Recom units were a bit away from each other, making Curran stop the man softly before they both went their ways for the night. "i meant it by the way" Curran said for Muller frowned, listening closely. "I know some ridicule you, I've noticed some soldiers do it because you're smart and are less, buff as us I guess.. But thats not my kind of doing. Just dont let them downgrade you" Curran said, for Muller softly smiled.. Feeling so safe. "I know its not the typical.. Soldier thing to go on excursions like this, but I really enjoyed it. I felt like I finally saw pandora through a different eye, thanks to you. Might even give me a head start compared to the rest, having experiences they wont have" the man said confident and thankful.. Making muller look away for a second as he felt his shy behavior pop up again, but replied quite fast despite his nosebridge turned a little red.. "I know when you mean what you mean, thorougly.. Thank you.." Muller said so grateful, seeing the buff man infront of him look calm and comforting while being so confident. "I'm just really thankful you were willing to take me there. I can finally continue my research, but most importantly, I guess a break from the RDA with someone safe is just what I needed to clear my head" the man said as he felt his head be a little more red through the blushing, hearing the man hum softly. "Have a good night rest Curran" the man said, seeing a 'you too' expression from Curran before he softly held the man's back for a second before walking into the other corridor that led further into the recom area, whereas Muller went towards his own lab and left right to bed.. As soon as he laid in his comfortable bed, he just watched the ceiling, feeling his heart heal, while it was complicated.. This night was skmething he could not forget. Even how the woodsprites ended up resting on him without hesitation.. the man needed skme time to process, before he turned on his side, trying to sleep.

#scientist muller #muller x curran #avatar ships #avatar fanfiction #niku30 #emmacreatures #avatar #avatar oc #Okay but listen as soon as my brain thought of the small moment of Curran takinh the man's hand gently to let the woodsprite walk over #I literally lost it myself and got emotional of such a soft moment i cant take this shit

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